#we've literally had them for one and a half sessions and i love them

[kitorin]

OUR SPRING

009. flowers

"Just do it" It's good advice from Yoichi, but unfortunately it doesn't help when you're nervous beyond words and could ruin someone's entire life and career if this charade of yours fails.

It's not like you were uncomfortable around Chigiri, in fact it was the complete opposite. He's a lot more than a play pretend partner for you, a genuine friend you feel like you could rely on, someone who you felt safe around.

His plan had worked on your behalf, you've been free of sex jokes since you and Chigiri walked out of that janitor's closet, no more rizz comments every time Kira approached you. Sure, strangers still approached you, but they did it out of curiosity and congratulated both of you.

The media wasn't responding negatively, fans around the world were begging to see who you were, buzzing with interest.

Now, all you had to do was entrust the rest of the deal to Chigiri.

"y/n, over here."

The red head calls out to you, as you're about to walk into the library. Unlike how it typically is at school, his hair was done messily, instead of the usual intricate braid. It's also the first time seeing him out of school uniform (photo shoots don't count), white collar of a button up shirt peeking out of his wool jumper. A shoulder bag was slung over his left shoulder, one of his arms wrapped around a bouquet of flowers, the pastel shades of pink, purple complementing the white flowers and the sage green leaves. A black mask concealed the lower half his face.

"Chi- Hyoma, hey."

You were awkward. Really awkward. What are people supposed to say when they great their boyfriend, who technically isn't their boyfriend? All you could do was hope that anyone nearby didn't care enough about celebrity dating or simply didn't know who Chigiri was.

He doesn't seem to find though, as a grin spreads on his face. With his dimples and the way his eyes disappeared, made it contagious it was hard not to smile too.

"For you, my love." Chigiri hands you the bouquet of flowers, you accept shyly. Not only it was your first time receiving flowers, but you'd never expected your first to be from an idol you were fake dating. His romantic action slowly gains attention, a few girls walking past and whispering enviously how they wish it was them, and a group of boys calling out "w rizz'.

"Thank you darling." You cringe a bit at the pet name, it wasn't even that bad, it just felt wrong calling a friend that. "I love them!" Unlike the attempt at using a pet name, your exclamation was truthful, making it a lot easier for you.

"Let's go inside, shall we?" Chigiri reaches out a hand, and by now the strangers nearby were swooning, regardless of whether they knew who he was or not.

You accept, fingers intertwining with his, as you go to your designated room.

"y/n, this literally doesn't make sense."

What was initially a 'study date' became a confused tuition session, with Chigiri staring in disbelief how you're able to do math well with ease.

"Okay, all you have to do in sub in the values into quadratic formula, it'll work as long as it's in standard form, which is ax squared plus bx plus c." You write down the process with your explanation, but it doesn't seem to help.

"But the answer comes out as a long decimal, doesn't that mean it's wrong?" Gosh he wasn't lying when he said he struggles with math.

"Hyou, I hate to break it to you, but we've reached the age where annoying numbers doesn't guarantee that it's wrong."

But he completely dismisses your clarification, now grinning like an idiot.

"You called me Hyou. Not Chigiri. We're not on last name terms now."

"That's lovely, but that will not make you pass this exam, Chigiri Hyoma."

"No- Go back to Hyou, please? If Rin finds out you called me by my full name I don't think I'll ever see the light of day again."

"Then, Chigiri Hyoma, I advise you at least attempt the first question to avoid that." You continue with the formal tone, finding his reaction to his full name hilarious. "Why are you studying though? You're successful enough without academics and college." You had assumed the same for Rin, but it turns out he was actually considering a change to sports psychology instead of entertainment.

"Hmmm, I guess it's just interesting to have goals outside of work. It'd be cool for my image if I perform well and do well in school."

Right, of course to someone like Chigiri grades are just a form of bragging.

Contradicting your thoughts, you smile. "For that to happen you've got to understand someone as simple as this." Your mechanical pencil taps at the worksheet. "I assure you, decimals and surds aren't that scary."

"What were surds again?"

Oh my god.

"Am I really that bad at math?"

Together, you walk out of the library and it's already dark, with buildings illuminating the night sky and the moon greeting the world hello. You're exhausted, you've studied for a lot longer before but tutoring someone who rarely pays attention in class was a lot worse.

"Yeah, you are." The blunt and dry answer has him gasping with forged shock.

"How could you... I'm better than Rin though, right?"

"No." Another honest answer, this time he's genuinely shocked.

"Surely not...?"

"Rin knows what the asymptote is."

"So do I, they only touch a line once."

"... The asymptote doesn't touch anything at all. The whole point of it is that the line approaches it but never touches it."

"I was close enough."

"You really weren't-" By then, both of you were bursting into laughter. You'll admit you didn't get as much done as you wanted, but it was fun. More importantly, the awkwardness and tense you felt around him died down after spending hours convincing him that it isn't the end of the world if the answer isn't an integer.

"You're catching the bus here, right?" You nod in response. "I'll wait for it, I can walk home from here."

"Hyou, it's really fine. The bus app says only 5 more minutes."

"I insist, and," He takes out his phone, "Photo, remember? Like I said I'll keep your face out of it. Lift up the flowers a bit."

With the help of Chigiri's instructions you're able to position the bouquet perfectly, it conceals your face entirely but the photo still looks pretty.

"Is this good?" He confirms with you, posting it after you approve of how the photo turned out. "I'll see you at school." The bus is approaching now.

"Yeah, thanks for today." The flowers are held tight in your arms, against your chest.

"I should be saying that, you've helped a lot."

And you've done a lot more. "It's really fine, let me know if you need more help with math another time."

Chigiri nods, accepting your offer. "Text me when you get home, yeah?" You promise him you will, as you get onto the bus and stare at him through the window until he disappears from your view. The flowers remain hugged to your chest, with a smile refusing to leave your face.

EIGHT | TEN | MASTERLIST

PAIRING. chigiri hyoma x reader

SYNOPSIS. school gets overwhelming with constant rumours and accusations, thankfully someone is willing to help. but what happens when this mutually beneficial agreement escalates into something more?

GENRE. social media au, fake dating, idol / actor au

TAGLIST. @izzylovestnbhd, @angelchigiri, @punkhazardlaw, @silly-ez, @y-sabell-a, @mellozhi, @luvlunazx, @oldest-dream-pdf, @misfits1a, @hoshithinker

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

#our spring - kitorin #IF THERE ARE ERRORS IGNORE #MY ENGLISH TEACHER IS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME #NOW GOOD NIGHT I NEED SLEEP #blue lock #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk #itoshi rin #fluff #chigiri hyoma smau #chigiri hyoma #mikage reo #chigiri hyoma fluff #chigiri hyoma x reader #chigiri hyoma x you #smau #social media au #bllk smau #blue lock smau #blue lock x male reader #blue lock x you

[classpectpokerap]

Give meq tgat fefat <> roxy stuffff please

alright bear with me for a second i gotta paint a word picture

imagine youre roxy lalonde, right.

you just entered the game. youve got a bottle of momslime. your modus was literally built to hold ectobiologized goo. youve been feeling the weight of destiny on your shoulders -- YOU ARE GOING TO MEET HER. she might be dead but you are going to meet her.

and you get to your sprite,

and theres just

a fucking

CLOWN

and two corpses that he throws into the kernel.

(the first homestuck fic i ever read, Conference Call, has a version of the erisolsprite prototyping. they fought gamzee and got their fuckin asses kicked. its great.)

and then youre left with just. Some Alien Bitch. and its like the universe is teasing you, because she's partially the DIRECT DESCENDANT of the fishwitch what killed your mom, and also a cat???? you are so sick to death of cats. you have been up to your fucking ass in cats. its just too much

and then she just. talks to you

and you slowly start to listen

you hear about her lives on alternia. what it was like being a princess, what it was like being the pauper. how they weren't even really friends, before -- they ran in different circles.

but they're one person, now. one person dedicated to *helping you.*

we never find out how roxy quit drinking, or who helped her through it

(it was fefeta)

and fefeta *loves* you. she listens to you talk about boys. you talk about your mom. fefeta never really spoke to her... but her nepeta half *knows what happened to your kitty frigglish* after he died. and frigglish said that your mom was okay.

that everything was going to be okay

and it's just. jane had her shit. jake was up in his shit. dirk had fucked off with his shit. and roxy really only had fefeta!!!!!!!!

and i think they were moirails and i think they loved each other so much. frankly. tbf.

roxy is a trans woman, fefeta is newly plural. they have a lot in common. tbqh. its like. its very beautiful. in my eyes. in my vision.

and then

she dies

and this is like. this is a really big fucking deal honestly?

fefeta's death is like. a huge thing. its one of the only things she tells john about when summarizing the entirety of her session.

and this isnt something she magically gets back in the post-retcon timeline, either

like... when fefeta dies, there isnt a post-retcon fefeta. (we'll GET TO YOU JASPROSE.) it's just roxy who remembers fefeta's existence at all -- her friends dont have any connection to her. *nobody alive in all of reality* remembers her.

fefeta isnt just dead, dude, shes Fucking GONE. shes the goner ever. shes fuckin erased.

but honestly

on a level? good for her.

we've seen what being in homestuck does to people. it warps them, reshapes them. (see the new hsbc upd8 for some cool imagery about it.) fefetasprite was never a real part of the story. she got away with being silent -- her words are hidden from us. she was never in LE's clutches.

and why would LE even want to clutch her

she's the sword that's going to kill him, after all

:3

i call fefetasprite the "cat fish witch" for a very important reason. a) its cute BUT B). if you look at caledfwlch, dave's sword, and just sorta. squint at the word. it looks like cat fish witch. that's fefeta. she Iss the cat fish witch.

so what does her death mean?

well it's not like dave used an UNBROKEN sword to fight LE.

feferi is the part of the sword still left in the stone. the part we forgot and left behind.

which leaves Nepeta, the other half of this broken sword, of the Cat Fish Witch

to kill the shit out of Lord English. B33

the sword was always going to kill him!!!!!!!! fefetasprite was the sword!!!!!!!!!!! NEPETA WAS ALWAYS FATED TO DEFEAT LORD ENGLISH!!!! AM I CLINICALLY INSANE? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway. all this to say.

i wrote a fic about this.

check out the second work in the series for roxy processing the emotions that none of her post-retcon friends remember her moirail. it's some good stuff i think!!!!!!! also hal is there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway jasprose is just roxy's initial dream of reviving her mom in her kernelsprite brought to life through the most roundabout and indirect and stupid way possible. send POST

#hs meta #homestuck #homestuck fanfic #etch asks #fefetasprite #feferi peixes #davepetasprite^2 #nepeta leijon #my fanfic #roxy lalonde #roxy <> fefeta

[what-if-queen-camilla]

Chapter 21

23rd January 1993, Part 2

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!", Theodora cheered beyond excited as Andrew, accompanied by Mr Rabbit, stuck his head through the door of Charlie Shelburne's office, where she was still helping the Earl with his correspondence, but immediately jumped up from his lap and ran over to Andrew who opened his arms for her, picking her up and twirling her around which made the little girl chuckle and giggle. "How's my little Princess?", he asked her after they'd ended their little cuddle session and sat down on the sofa together, Thea taking place between Andrew and Mr Rabbit whose long, fluffy ears she immediately fell in love with. "Thank you, Daddy, he's sooo cute!", she gushed, pressing the bunny against herself. "I'm happy you like him! You know, I saw him standing outside Buckingham Palace, obviously searching for a little girl to love and play with him.", he told her in all seriousness, and Thea's eyes widened in excitement. "So I quickly stopped and let him hop in.", he went on, adding: "... and he wasn't the only friend I met there. I brought Sir." "Sir is here???", Thea asked and her whole little face brightened up in delight. "Where is he?" "He's with Mummy.", Andrew said and Thea lowered her eyes. Though she was only just five-and-a-half years old, she was incredibly sensitive regarding people's feelings and always attentive to interpersonal vibrations. Of course, she hadn't forgotten what Mummy had told her the other day, which she still hadn't completely grasped, but maybe Daddy could explain it a bit further…? "Are they talking about the secret?", she asked cautiously, looking at him in a mixture of curiosity and fear. "What are you talking about, sweetheart?", he asked, as he knew that Camilla would have hardly told her anything… but, then again, of course, Thea would have asked questions, understandably and rightfully so. God, what were they supposed to tell her? How were they supposed to explain it to her? "Mummy said she had been sharing a secret with Sir but some evil people uncovered it and they're now angry with them.", Thea bubbled. "That's why Mummy couldn't leave the house last week. The angry people were in the driveway and garden.", though she didn't seem to understand what exactly she was talking about, Andrew had noticed her insecurity and uncertainty and it simply broke his heart. "That's not very nice of them, is it?", he carefully asked and Thea shook her head. "Have you been afraid?", Andrew wanted to know, slightly afraid of the response. Though Thea wasn't his biological child, he loved her just as much as he loved Tom and Laura - he had been the one who literally brought her to life after all - and the mere imagination that his little Princess could have been in fear made him angry, but being the brave girl Thea was, she shook her head anew, explaining: "No, I wasn't. But I think Mummy was…" "Oh was she?" Thea nodded and looked so upset, that he couldn't help pulling her into his arms again. "Mummy thinks I didn't see it but I heard her crying every night.", she revealed and sighed. "Has Mummy told you about her and Sir's secret?" "She said she couldn't because she had promised him, and the point of secrets is not to tell anyone." "Oh, did she?" "Hmh…" "Okay… well, actually Mummy is right, but as we've both always told you: family is an exception. You can always tell us anything, and never need to be afraid or ashamed, okay, sweetheart? You can always trust us. Perhaps wen can ask Mummy and Sir themselves whether they'd share their secret with us later, what do you think?", he suggested and Thea, after visibly intense considering everything, agreed.In order to avoid bumping into a private moment between his wife and the Prince, Andrew convinced little Thea to play with Mr Rabbit for a little longer and promised her that Mummy and Sir would surely join them for dinner and they would best do it afterwards.

Meanwhile, Charles and Camilla, too, had decided that they needed to talk to Thea and tell her at least an age appropriate version of the story so that she’d learn about their relationship from them instead of hearing it somewhat cruelly from other children at school or something. Before dinner, while Fiona had taken care of Thea, the three of them had discussed it together and, much to Charles' regret, he had been outvoted by Camilla and Andrew that they should tell her all together. He'd have preferred to do it with Camilla alone but she insisted that Andrew, as her father - the only father she knew about and a rather wonderful one - as she said, which felt like a stitch in his heart, should be there as well. The fact that he had accepted Andrew's role in his daughter's life didn't mean that he liked or appreciated it but he quite simply had no choice.

So, after dinner, they took her to one of the Drawing Rooms and sat down on the floor with her, on a very soft, red carpet, right in front of the fireplace. Camilla emptied her second glass of wine in one go and drew Thea into her arms. "Daddy, Sir and I would like to talk about something with you, darling.", she started and Theas eyes widened in expectation. "Are you going to share your secret with me?", she asked and Camilla sighed. Her poor little daughter probably thought it was going to be something cool and exciting… hopefully it wasn't going to hit her too hard… "We are. But I'm afraid it might not be the sort of secret you're expecting.", she replied, looking at Andrew in uncertainty, nonverbally asking him to take over as she didnt know how to start. "See, Thea, the most important thing for you to know is, that we all love you very much and always will, no matter what happens or what might going to change, right?", he said and Camilla sighed in relief. Nevermind his failure as a husband for her, he undoubtedly was and had always been an exceptional father for all of their children. "I love you, too!", Thea replied, playfully rolling over to Andrew, who sat to Camilla's left, and then to Charles who had taken place on her right side, who pulled her onto his lap before taking over: "You know, little darling, sometimes love can be a bit complicated and the heart simply won't do what you tell it.", he said. "Sometimes, we develop feelings for people we shouldn't have feelings for. And… that's what happened between Mummy and me." "You're best friends.", Thea stated casually what she'd been told since like forever, and both Charles and Camilla nodded. "That is true, sweetheart.", Camilla confirmed, before adding: "But, a little while ago, Sir and I noticed that…", she paused and looked to Charles who gave her a reassuring glance. "We are more than just friends. Actually, we have fallen in love, you know." Thea frowned her forehead and sat up, irritatedly looking from one to the other. "But you're in love with Daddy.", she said, crawling over to Andrew again, who took her in his arms immediately. "Mummy and I were in love a couple of years ago, very much so, and we are still very fond of each other. I think we can say that we love each other like you love Tom and Laura. But… we are not… in love anymore." "Are you going to divorce?", Thea asked, suddenly sounding rather anxious. She had heard similar stories of some of her friends' parents who had divorced and though she didn't really know what exactly a divorce was, in her friends' cases it had meant that they didn't see their Daddys as often as they used to anymore and she didn't want to see less of Daddy. However, Camilla assured her that they were not going to divorce and that, no matter what, they'd always be her parents and always be there for her which seemed to soothe her little.

After a few minutes of silence, an important question crossed her mind: "But if you are in love, why don't you marry? That's what people do when they're in love.", she asked and Charles had to turn away for a moment because he was having a hard time pulling himself together. She was such a clever girl, and of course, she was right. That's what people did when they were in love. Of course he wanted to marry Camilla, the sooner, then better, but… "The trouble is, I'm not allowed to.", he said. "Because, you know… I'm… a Prince. And there are different rules for Princes." "I don't understand that.", Thea said, rolling over to her Mummy and looking at her in pure admiration, tenderly stroking Camilla’s hair with her little fingers. "But Mummy can be a Princess. She's beautiful and has a kind heart.", she said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and Camilla threw her head back laughing, whereas Charles had to swallow a few tears. He had always thought exactly the same. "Well, maybe, one day, things will change and Mummy can, indeed, be a Princess.", he said, lovingly looking at Camilla, who rolled her eyes. "And even if: perhaps I don't even want to be a Princess.", she remarked, which left Thea maximum confused: "Why should anyone not want to be a Princess?", she asked. "I think it's lovely. You can wear nice dresses and crowns and live in a castle." This time, it was Charles rolling his eyes, however not in a negative but more in an amused way. "I'm afraid it's not quite like this, darling.", he said. "I might tell you one day." "Yes, please, Sir! Tell me everything!", Thea cheered, climbing up on him, wrapping her little arms around his neck. "I'm sure Sir will be more than happy to do so at some point - but not today.", Camilla interrupted them. "That was all more than enough to take in for one day and we should all try and get some sleep now." "But I'm not tired!", Thea moaned but a heartfelt yewn, much to all of the adults' amusement, revealed that she was, indeed, very tired.

"So, whom of us would you like to bring you to bed, sweetheart?", she asked and Thea's answer came as quick as a shot: "Sir!" Of course, Charles was delighted and only too happy to fulfil his little angel's wish, and after they'd left the room, Camilla and Andrew went over to the sofa, Camilla immediately sitting down with a sigh and Andrew heading to the side table, pouring two glasses of Whisky before sitting down next to her and handing her a glass. "Thank God everything went well.", she said, and he agreed: "Yes, so far she seems to cope well." "She does. But she's still too little to understand everything to the whole extent…", Camilla replied and he nodded. "For the moment, the most important thing is that she knows she is loved and feels safe with us. And everything else will fall in place somehow. But she must never get to know who her real father is." It almost sounded like a threat and Camilla swallowed heavily. "I know, Andrew. That would turn her whole life upside down and put her at enormous risk. I promise, she won't. " Andrew took her hand and looked at her seriously. "Milla. Don't promise anything you have no control over."

Writing this actually took me ages because it's made me quite emotional... I so enjoy this little AU but at the same time I'm glad it didn't reallt happen that way to be honest. Just imagine going through everything they had to go through and at the same time having to take care of a child... and I'm afraid thr worst is yet to come... 😭 But since some of you wished for a carefree, happy story, I'll try and give you and them - a little break from the drama in the next chapter!

#king charles #queen camilla #royal family #royal baby #andrew parker bowles #fanfiction #fanfic

[hungrydolphin91]

BIG update this time for Xillia 2 Sister Addition, we've had several long sessions I wasn't writing down but I'll try to share what I can remember 😅

My sister pointed out the symbolism in the Frere apartment naming and I had a :o moment because I keep forgetting that French is a language 😅

Gaius joined in the second half of the chapter and I've been playing as him a bit, he's fun but a little tricky. It's amusing that his partner skill is to defend you, imagine having the king of Rieze Maxia as your bodyguard 😅

We explored the Mon Highlands and those icy caves nearby and for some reason they're chock full of French toast??

And also Hazardous Liquid. Sis: "That's the secret ingredient to their French toast."

We got the knock off Bunnykins in Elize's chapter and both agreed it seems like the kind of thing a shady merchant like Alvin would sell 😂

There's a bit of a gap here because I actually let my sister play without me while I was... otherwise occupied (*coughplayingpersona 4cough*) so I missed another one of Alvin's chapters (Sis: "Him and Yurgen broke up"), and she also started chapter 9:

Me: "So what'd I miss?" Sis: "We're in the square dimension and there's a voice." Took me a couple second to process that one 😂 but I actually like this chapter quite a bit, the stuff with the Arc is fascinating even though it never gets mentioned again 😅

The battle music changed to be Milla's and it's a bop, probably a nod to Fractured Milla before she goes away 😔

A cat found us shamisens while we were in the Ark and my sister equipped them to the whole party. Me: "The rest of the party is going to wonder what the heck happened in this fractured dimension that made us form a band 😂"

The music in the Ark is so soothing, and it has those fun statues that play music from other Tales games so I got to flex my knowledge there a bit 😌

The sentient guardian Waymarker thing wants to turn everyone into digital data. I spent the whole battle trying to come up with a pun based on file types and the name "Elle" but all I came up with was "HTM-Elle," someone let me know if you have a better one 😅

I've been sprinkling in some reminders of the overall lore, like the fact that Julius took Ludger's pocket watch for a while and that Elle's father apparently had one and that the ability to travel between dimensions is a Kresnik thing. She speculated if maybe Ludger was Elle's dad in another dimension... 🤫

My sister loves to play dress up every half hour, here's a screenshot of Ludger so you can know my pain:

Whenever I play Milla, Jude just stands there and shouts "I've got your back!" without doing anything. When I switched to Jude though, Milla jumped right in front of him while I was trying to hit an enemy. Sis: "See, you've got her back, literally!"

I didnt realize there was a skill that pets Milla cast in midair but that's incredibly fun to abuse, I feel like Muzet casting death spells from above 😂

We keep laughing at how Fractured Milla shouts "HEY!" every time she levels up. Sis: "She sounds like she's trying to keep kids off her lawn."

Since I'm not playing Ludger I've been able to enjoy some link artes I never saw, including one where Rowen and Gaius ride a paper airplane together 😂

And since my sister IS playing Ludger I get to get startled everytime she uses Hammer Toss in my vicinity. Me: "Would you stop throwing malatov cocktails around?!"

Both of us were wondering what the others see whenever Ludger uses the Chromatus. It seems like he's kinda freezing time, so he and the enemy would suddenly appear somewhere else whenever time resumes, or just be gone if he beat them all. Imagine blinking and a giant monster is suddenly dead 😅

I forgot how so much important lore is shoved into confusing and not fully explained side quests, like everything with Marvin and Claudia 😓 I wasn't sure how to explain all that to my sister without spoilers but at some point I'll try to fill her in based on my own fuzzy knowledge

Speaking of which theres a sidequest with a guy named Aaron who apparently has beef with Ludger and was all "Don't expect me to forgive you for this," and we were all "??? Who are you again???"

After seeing the skit where Nova complains about Vera's shyness, my sister wanted to ship her with Ludger simply to watch them both squirm in silence 😂

That's the gist of the most recent stuff, though I'm probably forgetting some things. We're in Fenmont currently starting Muzet's chapter but after that is the final waymarker, that's gonna be fun to see 😏

Masterpost link here

#dolphin plays x2 #tales of xillia 2 #sorry if these are weirdly worded or boring it's hard to convey our jokes and reactions well through text format #my sister really enjoys it though mostly for collecting shiny things and paying back the debt #ive told her before the reward for paying it all of sucks real bad but she wants to do it anyway #that's fine but im leaving the room when the teepo vore comes on. the tethering skit was bad enough 😖

[shooter-nobunagun]

Spontaneous Combustion (R18)

//I really gotta stop starting drabbles and then not finishing them...or just finish the ever-increasing drafts that are lying around...

FYI, this fic is actually a bit of a 'what if Sio and Adam end up having spontaneous PWP before they even get together as a couple'; it's non-canon but kind of a fun idea to play around with, to imagine they might get caught up in a 'heat of the moment' kind of situation before they really start developing feelings for each other.

"I-I don't know Jack-san...a, are you sure this is a good idea...?"

"Relax, hanninmae; I know what I'm doin'..."

"B, But..."

"Hush, love; we've already come this far, surely you're not thinking of backing out now, are you?"

Biting her lips, the girl glanced around the room nervously, before back down at the man whose naked lap she was currently perched above. They were going to get caught, she just knew it—yet somehow she'd let herself get roped into this devious (but also hot) situation by none other than the Ripper himself.

Damn. She did like her toys to be on the dangerous side after all.

Well, it did help that he could be very...persuasive, when it mattered. Even though most of the time he was a sarcastic asshole who wasted no opportunity to complain about her inexperience and tease her every other second.

How did she let herself get into this situation again...? It was just supposed to be a routine training session for the Second Platoon, and she and Jack had been assigned as sparring partners for the latter half. Sio never thought she'd return to that cursed island again after her initial 'torture', but it turned out even full-time DOGOO members rotated there during downtime intervals, in order to keep their combat skills sharp.

And then somehow or other—she wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline and hormones or if they really did get closer this whole time—things got heated in more ways than one. And now she was literally about to get it on with the man whom, only a few months ago, seemed hell-bent on making her regret her decision to join DOGOO.

Her train of thought was interrupted as she felt a large, warm hand slide up her thigh and she stiffened. The hand stopped, and the man glanced at her with a curious expression.

"What's wrong? Are you uncomfortable?" His eyes narrowed slightly. "Or is it...you don't want to do this with me?"

"A-Ah, it's not that...I just..." Gulping, she wasn't sure how seriously he'd take her word. To be honest, she was surprised he'd been as gentle and accommodating as he'd been, so far. It was a far cry from his usual behaviors towards her, and the sniper wasn't sure if he was just being nice so he could get some, or if he actually was a decent guy, underneath all his 'lone wolf' crap.

Jack was silent, his one hand still slowly stroking the soft skin of her inner thigh, but otherwise made no move. He was waiting for her response.

Sio took a deep breath. "N, No, I...do want to do this with you," she said in a small voice, and she swore his lips curved up into the slightest of grins. "I-It's just, um...this isn't exactly a private place, so um...I-I..."

"Ah...afraid of being caught, are we?" Sio nodded shyly. "Well, I say the risk is what makes the reward all the more worth it—but I wouldn't worry; Gandhi and Newton have already cleared out, and trust me when I say nobody else comes in until all the VIPs have finished."

"B-But what about Capa?" Just thinking about the perverted old man made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. "He could technically come back in, right?" What if he was secretly hanging around the hanger still, spying on them with that Nikon camera of his—oh god, what if he found her and Jack in this incredibly compromising position? Scandalous photos would be the least of her worries—she didn't even know if fraternization between teammates was allowed or not. DOGOO may not have been a traditional military organization, but they did follow many of its protocols, so a court-martial would not be out of the question...

Warm fingers brushed through her hair and she looked down in surprise. Jack's face was surprisingly not irritated for once, instead he looked mildly amused. "That old man? Hah, knowing him he's probably taking that afternoon nap of his." A single finger hushed her protest before it could come out. "Trust me, squirt. I've been here longer than you have, done this whole spiel—I know his routine. 'Sides, I'm not that careless—why else do you think we're in this musty old storage closet?"

He did have a point. There was no way she would have agreed to this if Jack had insisted on doing it right out in the open gym—but the broom closet they were currently locked in looked like it hadn't been touched in a while, given the amount of dust over everything. Again Jack had surprised her with his 'gentlemanly' side, and let her be on top so she wouldn't have to lie on the dirty floor.

"W, Well...you'd better be right, Jack-san..." Hesitantly she sat down, but then bounced up again with a squeal as her bare bottom brushed against that hot, wet thing—oh god it was even stiffer than before and was it just her or did it feel bigger—Jack caught her slender frame as she wobbled, her face incredibly hot as she realized what they were about to do.

"What's wrong? You're not scared, are you?" He leaned in close and whispered against the shell of her ear. "You certainly showed no fear earlier, when we were sparring...nearly took out my right eyeball."

He gave her a toothy grin, and Sio blushed with embarrassment. Seriously, it wasn't her fault Capa had insisted on stick-fighting today, otherwise she wouldn't have nearly gouged him out with her bo staff. Even though her AU weapon wasn't a melee weapon, she took it seriously—there was no way she was going to be called a slacker as the newest member of the Second Platoon. Jack too, seemed to take their match seriously; after the initial teasing and trash talk, both of them went at it as if possessed by something greater than themselves. There was no snide commentary or mocking, just each of them reading the others' movements and responding accordingly, as if it were a real fight. She remembered the raw ferocity of his strength, but also how she responded with her own unexpected dexterity—the intensity of those green eyes staring at her as she managed to hold his staff to a draw, both of them sweating and panting as she held his gaze. It was like they were under a spell, each not daring to look away before the other; it wasn't until Capa shouted at them through his megaphone to 'stop standing around and start cleaning up' did they snap out of it. As they helped Gandhi and Newton roll up the mats and put everything away though, she noticed the Ripper kept stealing glances her way. Normally she would have been irritated, or a little creeped out, but there was something about his eyes and that expression that captivated her; caused her to unconsciously draw closer, instead of getting away.

Maybe that was why when there was just the two of them left, putting the last staves away and she accidentally turned into his broad chest, she didn't immediately jump back. Instead she stayed there, buried against those hard muscles and breathing in his scent—clean sweat, with a muskier, stronger odor that made her body even hotter than it already was. He didn't say a word either, not when he slowly cupped her chin and lifted her eyes, gazing at her with that indecipherable expression and not after he brushed against her lips and kissed her.

It was a nice kiss, actually. Not at all like the slobbery tongue-tangles that Newton loved to give; no, his lips were warm and soft, and at least in the beginning there was no tongue—but as hands started undoing buttons and zippers and moved onto bare, heated skin, their mouths seemed to follow suit and the next thing Sio knew she was tasting the inside of his mouth. It felt addictive, intoxicating even; a small part of her brain screamed at her to get a grip, and what the hell was she doing, didn't she hate the Ripper—but it was quickly overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure coursing through her body. The sniper didn't even flinch when he pushed her sports bra up, her petite breasts already perked from both his touch and the cold air. It wasn't until his warm, calloused hands started massaging them, a moan escaped her lips and she finally seemed to snap out of it, pulling back with burning cheeks as she hastily tried to pull her jacket back on.

"J-Jack-san, I-I—I'm sorry—"

"—For what? I'm certainly not sorry."

He was gazing at her with a new look, his green eyes darkened until they looked more like emeralds. For once he wasn't teasing or condescending, which surprised her. Did he really think of her as more than just some half-baked squirt...? Something buried deep within her, some part she didn't think would ever come out, started worming its way to the surface. She swallowed nervously as this flush of energy sped through her veins, causing her face to blush and her loins to tighten.

"You...and me..."

"If you've no objections to any of this, let's finish what we started. Well?"

She didn't know how to answer that, so she leaned forward instead, and gingerly reached out a single finger to touch those rock-hard abs. The sniper gasped as he chuckled and pulled her flush against his body, feeling his hot, bared skin against her own. "I'll take that as a yes, then."

And that was how they ended up where they were now: crammed into a dim, tiny closet, the sniper half-naked with her pants down around her ankles as she hovered nervously above Jack, his own impressive erection just inches from her dripping entrance. Sweat beaded across both their bodies, and with each inhale she breathed in more of his heady scent, now mixed with the musk of her own sex.

"I-I'm not scared! Just, I've never done this before...like, ever...s, so..." Sio blushed, embarrassed at admitting she was a virgin, but it didn't seem to bother Jack at all. "I don't know what to do..."

There was a low chuckle, and next thing she knew his long fingers brushed through her dark curls. "Oh, that won't be a problem; we just have to get you 'warmed up', first..."

"H-Huh?" Before Sio could understand the meaning his digits prodded her entrance, then one of them slowly slid in. She gasped as it wriggled around, gently exploring her insides as Jack continued to rub soothing circles around her thigh. "O-Oh...it feels weird..."

"Just weird? Or does it hurt?"

She shook her head. "N-No, it's not painful...I guess it just feels strange to have something, um...inside..." Sio blushed as those words left her mouth. The most she'd ever done was maybe wake up with a pillow between her legs, but she'd never consciously stuck anything up in there—not even a tampon.

"Tha's good, as long as it's not painful you'll be fine," Jack replied in a husky murmur, his dark green eyes heavily lidded as he concentrated intently between her legs. "Let's try this..."

Her eyes widened as his fingers pushed through her curls and found her pink, tender pearl. Already it was swollen and peeking out from its usual hiding place, and the second Jack started stroking her clit Sio felt her entire body jerk uncontrollably from the sensations. "Ah! J-Jack-san wha, what are you...!"

"Well well...yeh like that, don'tcha?" Back and forth his fingers rubbed across that sensitive nub, and Sio felt her head spin from the pleasure. She couldn't respond, it was all she could do at this point to even breathe—a cry escaped her lips as she nearly collapsed against his broad chest, her body seemingly twitching on its own as she grasped his shoulders and gasped for air.

"Oh, oh...! M-My, body...I can't control it..." Never in a million years did the sniper imagine she could experience pleasure like this. A smoldering fire was building inside her core, unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Jack's fingers were gentle yet relentless in their ministrations, while his other hand steadily cupped her head and stroked her hair in a soothing manner. Sio couldn't even think about anything except the ecstasy that was building deep within her, threatening to overwhelm all her senses. Vaguely she felt something hot drip down her thighs, but the sniper was too distracted by everything else to really notice. "Mnn...it feels so good...!" Without even realizing it her body started to rock back and forth, until it was synched with the movement of his fingers.

"Yeh? Feels good, doesn't it?" His voice was soothing, hypnotic almost as he increased the pace slightly, and Sio gripped his shoulders tighter.

"Y, Yes...it feels—ah—really good..." Sio was in a daze as she briefly locked eyes with Jack, staring into those deep, emerald-green orbs. For some reason he was grinning, but in her state the sniper couldn't figure out what was so amusing. The only thing that mattered right now were the streaks of lightning heat coursing through her, building and building until she could barely keep her eyes open...

Just as she felt fit to burst his fingers suddenly withdrew, and Sio let out a whine of disappointment. "Wha—y-you stopped..."

He responded with a slight laugh. "Oh? Impatient now are we... Don't fret, we'll get there soon enough." As the heat settled slightly Sio finally noticed the warm fluids that had been dripping down between her legs this whole time.

"Whaaahh—I'm sorry Jack-san, I got your clothes all dirty—" Her cheeks burned as she realized not only was it all over his trousers, but apparently a good amount had dripped onto his erection, as well.

"What are you talking about? That's exactly what I want," Jack grunted as he gripped her petite bum, and lifted her into position. "Now, I think you're ready..."

"Y-You mean, um...uh..." Now that the haze had cleared slightly, Sio became very aware of the entire situation. It seemed Jack deemed her ready to...accept him...her gaze drifted down to his red, throbbing cock, and for the first time she noticed there was some clear fluid leaking from the tip, as well.

He raised an eyebrow. "I'll ask you one last time: you want this or not?" A strong hand cupped her chin and tilted her head so their gazes were even. "Sio Ogura?"

She wasn't sure what surprised her more—that he was asking for permission or that he actually called her by her real name, for once. Stunned by his question, she nodded once, then braced one hand around his neck as she tried to figure out how they were going to do this.

"I-It's, um...it's bigger than I thought," a small voice drifted up, the sniper too embarrassed to look at him directly. "A-Are you sure it'll...fit?"

Jack resisted the urge to simply take the lead and impale himself into her. The sniper was already nervous enough as is, even though she'd made it clear she wanted to continue. Best to make her feel as relaxed as possible, especially if she was virgin. Even though he'd loosened her up with his fingering earlier, and she was now well-lubricated, he had a feeling it would still hurt to some extent.

"Relax, love. There's no rush, we can take it slowly, yeh?" She nodded hesitantly, until Jack took her spare hand and encouraged her to wrap it around his cock. "Here, don't be scared—you can touch it, you know."

Her eyes widened as slender fingers wrapped themselves around the stiff, heated organ. It really is hard...! As she touched it experimentally, tracing around the veins and bumps, she realized she could feel it pulsing slightly in time with his pulse. 'Whoa...it feels like it's alive, almost...' Gingerly she stroked it a few times, trying to get a sense of its size and girth, while unintentionally spreading the precum all over as she grazed the tip. As she rubbed it more persistently, fascinated by the clear, slippery fluid, Jack grunted and his hips jerked upward towards her grip.

"Hey now, you're quite the tease, aren't yeh?"

"Oh! Sorry, did that hurt?"

A row of shark-like teeth showed itself. "Quite the opposite, actually." His own larger hand took her much-smaller one into its grasp, as he guided the girl until she gripped him fully. "Here, I'll help you." Gently but firmly, he started pushing her bum down, Sio struggling to stay upright while trying not to twitch all over the place.

"Hiiyaa—i-it's so hot—" She let out another squeak as the tip now firmly brushed against her own hot, slick folds; though Jack was being unusually patient with her, a part of her couldn't help but fear that he was annoyed with her for being so hesitant. Gritting her teeth, she took a deep breath and attempted to just sit down onto it—though it didn't quite work as planned.

"What th—oy oy, that's not—" He raised a brow in confusion as the girl sat down all of a sudden, but instead of letting him enter her, she just ended up sitting on his cock. Not that it was unpleasant—the heat from her wet folds against his member sent low tremors throughout his body as she squirmed around. "Hey, I told you we can take this slow. Yer really in that much of a hurry?"

The sniper turned a pretty shade of pink. "S-Sorry! Sorry I'm so inexperienced...I don't, I didn't mean to—"

"—Stop apologising!" Then, as if catching himself, he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "...It's fine to take your time, squirt. I mean it," he gave her a pointed glance. "The last thing I want is you hurting yourself 'cause you think I'm not man enough to wait." Perhaps she needed a bit more encouragement? While the girl was blushing and babbling and attempting to regain her composure, he ran a thumb over her pink clit again. She immediately moaned, her hips jerking as she slid herself back and forth across his cock.

"Ooohh..." Eyes closing, Sio let herself indulge his fingers a bit more. She was positively dripping now, and the squelching sound she was making as she rubbed against his erection was pretty embarrassing—but she couldn't care less at this moment. That low, throbbing pressure was building up again—but this time it was the sniper who stopped herself, just before she reached the peak again. Taking a shaky breath, she braced herself against Jack's broad shoulders and pulled herself up.

"Ready now?" His eyes were dark and hazy, and Sio noticed he seemed more subdued than earlier. Even though he'd been the one pleasuring her, his chest was heaving slightly too, and Sio let her eyes hungrily drink in the sight of his impressive body—hard, chiseled lines of pure muscle now dappled with sweat. She swallowed hard as she felt her insides pulse again.

"Y-Yeah...I think so..." Once again she grasped his swollen member, which was now slick and wet with both of their fluids. Slowly, ever so slowly, with Jack's help she positioned herself until she felt the tip sink right into her entrance. "I-It's going in...!"

"Yeh, tha's right love...you're doing great, just keep going...there's a good girl..." Jack crooned into her ear, as inch by agonizing inch, the sniper slowly accepted him. "Fuck, you're tight," he groaned slightly under his breath as her walls started pushing back against his member, as if trying to eject this foreign invader. Still, the girl above him continued to sink lower, her own eyes closed and brows furrowed as she pushed down.

"Nng—it's so big..." At first it hadn't been so bad, but as Jack continued to enter her, Sio felt herself being stretched more than she ever thought possible. It was now uncomfortably tight, and for a second she wanted to push him back out—but at the same time, there was a pleasurable satisfaction of being filled so fully. "J-Jack-san, is it almost in?"

"Yeh, you're close...keep going," he grunted, before taking her thighs and spread them wider. "Here, open your legs more—that'll help." As her legs splayed across his waist though, her knee slipped against the slippery fabric of her shorts, and in one fluid movement the sniper dropped down squarely into his lap, taking Jack fully up to the hilt at the same time. Both holders moaned at the sudden sensations—Jack's breath hissed through his teeth at the feeling of being fully sheathed in her moist walls while Sio panted hotly against his neck.

"Oooh...oh, oh...I can't believe it's in...I feel so full..." Gasping, the sniper tried moving around a bit, as her insides slowly adjusted to his girth. "Nnng—Jack-san, you're so hot..."

"I could say the same," came his strained reply, and Sio saw his cheeks were stained a faint red. "You feel alright?"

Sio nodded timidly. "I-I think so...I just feel, really full...but it doesn't really hurt..." She rolled her hips again, and Jack grunted underneath her. "S-So um, wh-what should I do now...?"

"Relax; I'll take it from here," he murmured, his large hands rubbing her thighs to get her to loosen up. "Just let me know if it hurts."

Sio only had a few seconds to ponder what he could possibly mean before she felt a tremendous thrust lift her up. "Gyaah—J-Jack-san...!" He didn't respond, and soon enough Sio felt her mind glaze over with pure ecstasy as Jack settled into a steady rhythm. "Oh, oh, oh...it feels good..." Each thrust pushed her tight walls apart and rubbed against her clit, leaving her feeling empty-full-empty-full in quick succession. The pressure from earlier returned with a vengeance, as Sio felt her lower belly simmer with white-hot pleasure. Her hands scrambled to hold onto anything as she felt her self-control slipping with each thrust. Moans spilled from her mouth, moreso as Jack started increasing the pace.

"Oh—oh, ah, J-Jack-saa..." She couldn't even say his name properly at this point, her hips now also clumsily thrusting to meet his rhythm. Her body only wanted one thing, and it was to reach the peak as soon as possible. The room filled with their grunts and moans, along with the wet, sucking sound of flesh slapping each other. Animal sounds, that what they were making she thought, but she had to admit hearing Jack's groans next to her ear was incredibly arousing. As the pace became more frantic, strong arms pulled her close; until she was nearly crushed against his strong chest. Their nipples rubbed against each other, and Sio moaned rather loudly at the sensations.

"Hush, squirt; you don't—hah—want someone to hear, do you?"

"H-Huh? B-But you said there wouldn't be anybody around—!"

Jack grinned deviously at the sniper's naivete. "Yeh, but you never know...what if Capa decides to wake up early...or, Gandhi and Newton come looking for us..." Though he was just teasing the sniper, he swore her walls grew more taut as he whispered those scenarios into her ear. "My, my...you seem to have gotten tighter all of a sudden..." He cupped her red cheeks, the sniper's eyes completely glazed with lust at this point as she stared at him in a daze. "Could it be, in addition to being a voyeur, you're actually an exhibitionist as well?"

"Wh-what?! I-I'm not—that's not true!" Her cheeks turned bright red from indignation. "Stop making stuff up!"

"Really? If that's the case, then why are you getting so wet all of a sudden?" To Sio's horror, she felt a gush of love juices sluice out at his comment. "I mean, there's a chance I could be wrong about Capa's schedule...what if he were to open that door right now, and see the two of us like this..."

"N, No...it's not, that's not true..." Still, as Jack continued feeding her imagination with all sorts of potential situations, Sio couldn't deny she felt hotter than ever. Her entire body tingled with pinpricks of pleasure, as she couldn't help but imagine what would happen if that door were to open right at this second.

"You really are a pervert, aren't ya? But that's fine; I like that..." If she weren't so horny, Sio would've been shocked at his compliment—but she didn't even have time to respond as Jack's lips crashed into hers, partly to muffle her increasingly-loud moans.

"Ah—Jack-san, s-something's c, coming...!" Just like the previous times, Sio felt like she was about to reach the zenith of something...her legs were shaking from exertion and she barely noticed the red lines that streaked across Jack's shoulders. Her insides trembled again as she felt the bulbous tip of his cock nearly push against her cervix.

Underneath her, the silver-haired man breathed hotly against her cheek as he grunted and adjusted their position slightly. "Yeh, same...I'm gonna, come soon..."

"Ah, ah...J-Jack, I'm—!" Her voice quivered as she felt her inner walls start faintly pulsing.

"—It's 'Adam'. My name, is Adam...Sio." Despite everything, the sniper's eyes shot open in surprise as she heard her name. Jack—no, Adam's face was an enigma, but she could tell he wasn't teasing or playing around with her, for once.

"Ah—A, Adam..."

He nodded, and lightly palmed her breasts to reassure her. "That's right, Sio..."

Why now, what was his reason for using her real name—and telling her to do the same? Sio felt there must be something more, and it probably would have been way more significant, if she weren't so desperate for release right this second. Her eyes nearly rolled to the back of her head as she felt the tremors again, but stronger this time—and her will to hold them back was rapidly weakening.

"I-I can't hold back—I feel like I'm going to, to..."

"You wanna cum?"

Her insides shivered again. "H-Hai..."

"Then say my name again."

She blinked rapidly in surprise. "Huh? But why—"

He cut her off with another deep thrust. "Just do it. Say my name, hanninmae." He commanded, his gaze piercing into her heavily-lidded maroons.

When this was all over (and much later) she would reflect on this particular moment and understand it was the beginning of something more, something that the human Adam Muirhead was too afraid to say when he was the e-gene holder Jack the Ripper. But at this very moment, Sio was prepared to do anything so long as she got her release, and so she obeyed without question.

"A...Adam, Muirhead..."

That shy stutter, those round, maroon orbs that were hazy with pure desire as she gazed up at him... His breath quickened while his heart thrummed so loudly in his chest he was sure the sniper would hear it; a cascade of heat flooded his entire body at once, and as he felt the muscles of his core start coiling and tightening for release, Adam knew for certain.

This girl...she would become something much, much more...

"...That's right. Good girl...Ogura Shio."

He thrust upward one more time, just as the sniper rolled her hips downward. The result was a messy, spastic tangle of bodies and limbs as both holders came at the same time. Sio's mind went blank for a few seconds as she felt nothing but pure ecstasy; she gripped Adam's shoulders so tightly she was sure there'd be bruises tomorrow, as her petite body shook and her hips seemed to move on their own, continuing to thrust and draw out as much pleasure as she could. It felt so, so good; as if all her pent-up frustrations, secret desires, and stress were released all in one go—and then she fell face-first into his chest once more, her body limp and jelly-like as she gasped for air.

"Ah, Ja—I-I mean, Adam...san..." She tried lifting herself up with her weak arms but to her surprise, a hand pushed her back down against his chest.

"Shh, love; it's alright. Stay. Just rest now."

I can hear his heart beating... It was strong and steady, his breath was warm against her hair and his hand was gently massaging circles in the small of her back. A faint voice in the back of her head told her she should leave, and get back to her quarters as soon as possible, but he'd said it was okay to stay...so where was the harm in that... Sio closed her eyes and let herself completely relax.

While the sniper used his chest as a pillow, Adam's gaze drifted down to where they were still connected. He frowned as he noticed a few streaks of pinkish-red among the white; damn, so she had bled after all. Even though he'd tried to be as careful as possible, and the girl hadn't said anything, still he managed to draw blood. His chest rumbled lowly as Adam mentally berated himself. But maybe it would have been inevitable, regardless. What with the way the two of them were going at it towards the end—at least it was very pleasurable for her. Or so he hoped, anyway.

Down there...is something that will become the most important thing to this world. And to you, as well...

Shit. Nightingale couldn't have been right...could she?

Adam gazed down once more at the slumbering sniper's visage.

"Heh. You really are somethin' else...Sio."

#documentation #my sweetest one

[captaincleverusernamehere]

Because i couldn’t think of names on the fly, my party is now running around the forest with a group of orcs named Bjork, Mjork, Dork, and and Gjorcomo

#mjork got stuck in a snare trap and got suspended ten feet in the air what a dumbass #we've literally had them for one and a half sessions and i love them #dsfsdg #dnd #dnd dm #funny #dnd campaign #dnd memes

[quasieli]

happy sleepover saturday! top 5 silly dnd moments?

Ooh, this should be a fun one!

1. (Frostmaiden) At the start of this campaign, my wonderful DM Ace allowed us to choose a couple magic items to start with and I wanted something that would sow a lot of chaos. I chose the Bag of Beans, which, when a bean is planted, you roll percentile and some sort of magical effect happens. On more than one occasion, we ended up with the effect of pink toads appearing that, when touched, become a small, medium or large creature for the next minute. These fights have been so fucking funny. Sometimes, we'll get some scary shit, like a woestrider, but in that same fight, we got some Lumiere ass sentient candelabra and I love that those two things can just coincide in D&D.

2. (EWF) This is a game I DM and I just love my players so much (they're all very close IRL friends of mine and just the best goofuses lol). We've had a lot of really silly moments in that game, but the king of goofs is our monk, an owl Aarakocra named Swoop. His goofs include: starting a secret knock that he told no one about; trying, and succeeding, to hug a smoke monster out of an NPC; eating a handful of acorns he found on the street, even though the party was actively in the process of getting food (this was an early session and he thought he had to eat like an actual bird); and just the litany of disguises and personas he comes up with literally almost every session. Best boy, 10/10, love him.

3. (SICL) Oh I have so many moments in mind but for some reason the first thing that popped up was this one time in a very early session where our party came across a band of half-orc bards while we were travelling. We all got drunk together and they told us stories. What made this particularly memorable was JD doing an amazing English accent for all of these half-orcs. Best of all, anytime e needed to anchor emself back to the accent, e would just yell "'Arry Potta!' very loudly lmao

4. (Azica) Wild magic pie eating contest. This was a while ago now so I don't remember all the effects that happened but I do remember our rogue accidentally getting turned into a goat and I believe they also got a pie that started insulting them. Brilliant idea from my awesome DM, Ciara. Man, I miss that game. (Honorable mention moment from this game: the party ragging on our warlock, and the player, because he didn't know that sugar gliders were real animals. TBF the drawing our rogue produced of one did look like a gingerbread man with skin, but that's neither here nor there lmao).

5. (Frostmaiden) This was from a recent one shot with my character, Sparks, and my party's lovely druid, Ambrose, where we ended up in the plane of air, trying to saving our little baby bear friend, BB. While we were in the plane of air, we encountered some elemental guards (I believe myrmidons?) and just, shoutout to @quantum-lesbian for the whole convo between Ambrose and this guard. Probably my fave bit of that convo was "Does air have pronouns?" Love that funky lil elemental, hope we get to meet them again.

#asks #itsthecamouflage #ask games #thanks 💙 #Frostmaiden #SICL #EWF #Azica

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: [screenshot of a totally acceptable amount of messages from Isabelle] Jac: 😩😩😩 Jac: She is so mentally exhausting Savannah: The girl needs more extracurricular activities Savannah: netball is just not doing enough for her Jac: Seriously Jac: what sort of uni does she think she'll get into with that lack of variety 🙄🙄 Jac: never mind how boring it'll make her seem to any potential friends or boyfriends when she gets there, IF she gets there Savannah: do you think she'll even go, when she can't get into any of our choices? Savannah: she's so not ready to cut ties with you Jac: Honestly, I don't even know Jac: like, that is SO much pressure on me Jac: she doesn't even realize that, I swear Jac: or she doesn't care 🤷 Savannah: It's like having another little sister sometimes, I don't know how you've coped with her for so long Savannah: you're an actual living saint Jac: You're the saint for saving me ❤❤❤ Savannah: Isabelle drove Amelia away with all the pressure she puts on her friendships Savannah: I had to meet you & save you Jac: She did Jac: don't get me wrong, Meels could be hard work too but at times, I'd rather be on her side Jac: it's crazy how isolated I let her get me, you don't think badly of me, do you? Savannah: 😔 do you miss her, boo? 😢 Savannah: I think badly of Is for doing that to you Jac: I don't need either of them, I've got you Jac: neither of them can compete, or like anyone else we go to school with Jac: it happened so slowly, then all at once Jac: we need to think of a way to distract her Savannah: My heart! 🥰 You're the force for everything good in my life, I swear to god Savannah: I've got you, baby girl, what we need to do is find her a man who'll stay Savannah: Let me get Ty's phone Jac: You are the only thing from this life I'm taking with me into my actual life I'm gonna have Jac: when we get out of this place and make something of ourselves Savannah: ^^^👏 Yes Jac: 🤔 Who's lowkey dumb enough Jac: dumb might be harsh but like, he's gonna have to put up with A LOT to wanna, no offense 😂 Savannah: I'm not judging, you've known her longer than I have Savannah: & she's made sure you know her better too Jac: It's so juniors of her Jac: like of all the people who don't deserve that treatment ➡ you, the sweetest angel ever Jac: the possessiveness, just because we met like first day of school, doesn't mean we've got to live and die together now Jac: especially if you're not gonna grow with me, babe Savannah: It's fine, I can be the bigger person here Savannah: we both understand that the universe was not ready to put me on the same path as you the second that school started, even if she doesn't Savannah: she doesn't date black boys which is going to wipe out half of this list, not speculating wildly like that fact is related to why we're not BFFs though 🤫 Jac: 👑❤ Jac: I'm all about who's made the most positive change in my life, not who's been in it the longest, not sorry about that Jac: only 😎 colourblind if you're light enough Jac: the levels of problematic Jac: speaking of, who's that guy, the one who was BEYOND wasted at the last party? Savannah: She's scared of change, I feel bad for her, because we all know that's her mum trying to keep her childish Savannah: OH! 🙌 Carter Savannah: You're a genius Savannah: they can be problematic together and leave the rest of us out of it Jac: When you and your mother both need to get a hobby 😏 Jac: Right, though? Jac: Would that not be perfect Savannah: honestly! Savannah: he's at EVERY party, as long as Is doesn't have too many shots too early again Savannah: 💘👼🏻 Jac: and he's a sporty guy too Jac: like I would NEVER 😷 Jac: but she's SO welcome Savannah: When you go back two or three years & his name's on literally every 🏆🏆🏆 Savannah: OH MY GOD! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT TY'S TOLD ME THIS SECOND Jac: ?????? Savannah: I'm shouting because his parents are going away THIS weekend 🙏 it's perfect Savannah: & of course I will sacrifice the precious alone time we could've had if it means you get some away from her Jac: 🌌🪐☄️☀️ timing Jac: you don't mind? ❤ Savannah: I don't know why he's only telling me now when there's no way he found out a second ago himself but I couldn't love him more for helping us make this happen so he's forgiven Savannah: it's fate baby, how could I mind? Good things happen every time I trust in that Savannah: She'll let you dress her, won't she? Jac: That's men for you Jac: can't say useless when they clearly have some but 🤭 bless Jac: If I commit to a shopping trip Jac: she keeps asking Jac: it'll be tiresome but worth it in the long run Savannah: He does not appreciate the recovery time on a wax when your skin is as sensitive as mine is, but that's a venting session for another day 🙄 Savannah: I'll obviously come with, unless you think that'll make it worse Jac: 🙄 How are more boys not genius level intelligent Jac: the amount of time they don't have to spend worrying about the things we do, and they're out here putting it to waste Jac: we would never, could never 💅 Jac: Of course I want you to come Jac: but we know she'll be in a better mood to party if I give her my undivided attention 🙄 Savannah: SO true Savannah: I'll give him mine then, make sure he's also in the mood to party Savannah: I can't handle a sulk, he looks too adorable, it makes me die Jac: 🙏 we need your free, boy Jac: get on board or I swear, I'm gonna lose it with her fully 😵😤😰 Savannah: we can lose her in his parents' sauna, hang in there 👼🏻 Jac: if we can make use before because I won't be getting in there after them 😷🤢 Savannah: You have to come over early anyway because my hair is a law onto itself right now & I will have a breakdown if Ty tells me to be natural one more time Savannah: can you not 👮 me, boy Savannah: I need to look beautiful for myself as well as you Jac: Self-love is so much more important Jac: I got you Savannah: if you don't see us at this party it's because we're arguing Savannah: I can feel it coming Jac: 😬 Jac: You know I'll cover for you, goes without saying Jac: is he like, under some kind of extra pressure rn, like what's his deal? Savannah: he insists he's not but he wouldn't ever normally jump down my throat for asking Savannah: so, like, you don't have to be a wannabe psychology student to realise there's something Jac: I think boys will remain a mystery, even when we get our PhDs Jac: A party will make him feel better Jac: it's clearly not about you though, you're the perfect girlfriend Savannah: I could cry Savannah: maybe I should just go home Jac: Honey Jac: Tell me where you need me to be Savannah: [a very them location] Jac: I'm there, babe ❤ Jac: Is there anything you need beside a listening ear and shoulder to cry on, obviously Savannah: take my phone when you get here so I don't contact him until I'm less of a wreck Jac: Duh Jac: nothing but totally composed, fully logical, 🧠 led texts only Jac: you are so NOT that girl Savannah: I don't want to be but I've got that child of divorce neediness now Savannah: I can't even blame him, I would NOT date me Jac: Don't even Jac: You are incredible Jac: a force of nature Jac: he's lucky to have you Savannah: You know how much I love you, right? Savannah: it's off any scale Jac: Of course, it's exactly how much I love you Jac: 👭🔥 Savannah: I swear to god, if we get Isabelle a man & I end up single, I will have to run away though Jac: No way Jac: he knows his luck, for his sins Savannah: I've given him way too much power to hurt me with by loving him as much as I do Savannah: I'm so lucky I also have you Savannah: & you would never Jac: It's all about trust Jac: and it's rare that you find anyone you can fully give your trust too in your life Jac: never mind multiple people Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: my parents didn't have it & they were together for like two decades Jac: It's sad Jac: so many people do and will settle for less Jac: I can't imagine how, honestly Savannah: you're on a different level to everyone else I've ever met Savannah: the word settle doesn't exist for you Jac: but you have to remember, you're on that level too Jac: I won't let you forget Jac: or settle Savannah: I'm scared that I've put all this energy into the wrong things Jac: You said it best, the universe knows what it's doing Jac: what you're ready for and what you're not, put your trust in it Jac: if this is meant to be more, it will be, if it's meant to be a teaching moment to make you an even better person, then it will be Savannah: you're BEYOND right Savannah: & you can never leave me, even if he does Jac: I never will Jac: I KNOW we're meant to be Savannah: Me too Savannah: my dad has shaken my faith in literally everything else but not us Jac: We're different Jac: we've known each other forever, I think Jac: countless past lives, and we're gonna keep knowing each other Jac: we're meant to do something big together, I can feel it Savannah: I feel too connected to you for that not to be true Jac: It is Jac: Whatever else, you can count on that, forever Savannah: you've made everything better Savannah: in this moment and all the rest Jac: That's what I'm here for Savannah: I'm supposed to also be here for you & I haven't asked how you are Savannah: SO selfish Savannah: Am I turning into Isabelle? Jac: your hair is not THAT wrecked, please 😏 Savannah: 😄 Savannah: I'm never getting it THAT flat Jac: Bless her Jac: if she'd lay off the highlights Savannah: we need to sit her down for a deep condition Jac: We could invite her to pre party prep... 🤔 Savannah: every day beforehand 😄 Jac: She's gonna need it Jac: ideally we'd have longer to do a full detox but you know Savannah: Even Ty agrees that we've got our hands full Savannah: he says Carter's too old for her 🤭 Jac: We all agree she could do with growing up a bit Jac: not that he isn't as immature 🙄 Jac: perfect couple 🚨 Savannah: when you went out with Eli he didn't say a word & he was the same age 💅 Jac: It's all down to her mum Jac: she's coddled her to the degree Is just gives off this PROTECT ME vibe Jac: Ty don't even know why Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: he thought she was a virgin still, it was so cute, baby boy no Jac: If everyone knew her how we do 👀🍵 Savannah: Enough about Is, who are you bringing & what are you wearing? Jac: [sends outfit options] Jac: 'cos lord knows all my attention will HAVE to go on her outfit when we go on this shopping trip Savannah: Oh you just have to go with the first one! I'm in LOVE Savannah: not even looking at the others, sorry Jac: 🤭🥰 that's decided then Jac: who I want to bring or if, is another question entirely Savannah: What about Cillian? I obviously don't mean the one in our year 🚫🚫🚫 Jac: He has potential Jac: did he go out with Sammy in our year though? Savannah: She asked him & he politely declined Jac: 😏 That makes him more promising Savannah: he doesn't date girls that aren't in his own year but I know he'd reconsider if you wanted him to Jac: you have the best ideas Savannah: He noticed when you got that mention in assembly, that was all you 🧠✨ Jac: At least he should be able to hold a conversation too then Savannah: I've heard him debate, he's really impressive Jac: Are you sure you don't wanna ask him, boo? 🤫🤭 Savannah: 😳 Jac: You totally like him Savannah: I can look & sometimes I do, don't judge me Jac: No judgment here Jac: it sounds like you have lots in common Savannah: We've attended a few of the same university lectures Jac: and he's cute Jac: I won't ask him Savannah: nothing's ever going to happen between me & him, so you should, if you think he's cute Jac: you can't say never Jac: who knows what the universe has in store for your future Savannah: Do you think Ty's going to end it? Jac: Of course not Jac: I don't think Ty will get into Uni Jac: you know it'll be different, especially when you get into your first choice and have to move away Savannah: His parents want him to stay here & he hasn't said he won't Jac: It takes a certain kind of man to follow 'round a girl Jac: and honestly, 'cos you know I'm always going to tell you how it is, because I care about you, okay? Jac: is that the sort of man you want, anyway Jac: what is his plan, after school Savannah: He doesn't believe in committing to a long term plan, besides us staying together, of course Savannah: you know I used to love that about him, because it's like he's the missing, more relaxed part of me Savannah: but lately the differences feel exhausting Jac: And that's now Jac: when you live in the same town, and see each other at least 5 days of the week without needing to do anything, put any effort in Jac: I just worry that the commitment-phobe is gonna jump out when it isn't that easy for him Savannah: oh god Jac: I could be wrong Jac: but I never want to keep anything from you Jac: even if it's hard to hear Savannah: Nobody knows me better than you Savannah: or has seen more of us as a couple Savannah: you're saying it because it needs to be said Jac: 😔 Jac: I am Jac: the last thing you need is to be blindsided by it Savannah: I can't go through that kind of heartbreak again, me & my dad still aren't talking Jac: You've had to be strong enough already Jac: like, he needs to think about what he wants, be clear with his intentions, you deserve that Jac: even if he isn't about making plans for himself, you can't live your life beholden to his lack of, it's not fair Savannah: This isn't a discussion I can have with him in [wherever they are] Savannah: 😢 Jac: Of course not Jac: your response would be beyond emotional Jac: you need to collect your thoughts first Savannah: Can I stay with you? Home is totally chaotic & I obviously can't stay at his Jac: You don't even need to ask Jac: there's always a place for you at mine Savannah: Thank you Jac: Jude isn't here and I can always make Jameson leave too Jac: not that they'll bother us Jac: total calm is needed Savannah: until Is decides she needs something Jac: 📴 Jac: she'll have to cope without me for five minutes Jac: you're so more important than any of her faux drama could ever be Savannah: It's going to be so embarrassing to have to share any of this with her Savannah: I can't Jac: You don't have to Jac: it's none of her business Jac: and you don't know yet, Ty might prove himself Savannah: what would I do without you? Jac: That's one question you don't need to worry about ❤ Savannah: We can still have the party, I'm not trying to ruin your life or that plan Jac: Oh, I don't care about that Jac: I just want you to feel better Jac: we can think about that later Savannah: I want the same for you though Savannah: I care that she's raising your stress levels daily Jac: I'll feel better when you do, I swear Savannah: this is going to make me sound awful but I think we have to still have the party because if we don't, he'll want to spend time with me anyway Savannah: & I'd rather have you there until I know what to do Jac: No, that's totally fair Jac: I'm more than down to go ahead Jac: project management will be a great distraction at any rate, and we can spend our Isabelle free hours actually talking about your plan going forward Savannah: I just can't lead him on by pretending everything's normal when it's not, you know? Jac: No, you don't want to lie Jac: that's not going to help anyone, and you owe it to yourself as well as him to remain as honest as you always are Savannah: I'm so glad you understand Jac: Always Savannah: I love him so much & I want him to be happy Savannah: but I can't sacrifice the future I have planned, I'd end up resenting him & it would eventually fall apart however hard I try Jac: Exactly Jac: it's about the people you're going to be, as well as the people you are now Jac: sometimes you have to harm to help, that's just facts Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I'd have to stop growing & I'm not going to do that Jac: And you aren't saying he isn't going to grow too Jac: but you might need to acknowledge you aren't growing in the same directions Savannah: it hurts my heart that he could be growing away from me but it'll hurt us both more if I refuse to see it Savannah: we could get married & have babies, then we're a variation on who my parents are Savannah: my dad is a black male stereotype & he's made me a statistic, that's bad enough Jac: I get it, both my granddad's are the worst, actually Jac: they may as well not exist, honestly Jac: You're way too smart and wonderful to get stuck into that cycle Savannah: A bare minimum of what I want for my life is to break it Jac: ^^ Jac: Me too Jac: God knows it is overdue Savannah: I wish we had Is' privilege but that isn't who we are Jac: I could shake her Jac: she has no idea how easy she has it Savannah: 👏

[vicky-shitposts]

music for cars (the end)

21 feb 2021,

it's 5 am and i just wish i had some fucking booze. it's tempting to go to the garage round the corner and get a bottle of something, or maybe even a monster?? anything to keep me awake. how the fuck did i used to do all nighters, so often and so frequently?? this is painful. i guess this is the price i must pay for fucking myself over. just finished the last 5 pages of the With Nails chapter i started earlier today/yesterday/whenever because time is NOT real and is just ANOTHER way that the government CONTROLS US. im dying to see Withnail And I again, it's only been 6 days since i saw it last and i can't stop thinking about it - in the last 24 hours alone ive heard the soundtrack twice. i can't stop quoting it either, but it proves somewhat discouraging when i give some of my friends my favourite lines in a snapchat video and none of them seem to care. am i annoying you?? do you care?? by this point i live on caffeine, energy drinks or not. my eyelids are drooping and i think i need my first cup of coffee today. i wish home bargains still stocked pussy because i never got to try it and really fancy doing so, plus i need a new can of deodorant too so i can kill two birds with one stone if i go later. provided i don't pass out and fall asleep by then that is.

coffee acquired, watching Dan Nerdcubed play Hitman, almost half 7. home bargains opens in half an hour, so after this video im gunna throw on some clothes - a band tee, black hoodie, black leggings and my fuck off goth boots - to go get deodorant to drink and energy drink to cover myself in. next stop antifreeze, or better, lighter fluid!! first coffee of the day also means first shit of the day, i think, im losing count.

shop doesn't open until ten am HAHAHAH what the fuck am i supposed to do for an hour and a half?? i literally just got dressed and gave myself a pep talk, FOR NOTHING!! started writing a not-fanfic and started work on a new song thanks to Phoebe - they're such a muse for me right now, always stimulating my creative mind. in other news, ive just had my first monster in almost two months as it was the only way i could survive today. currently im running on being awake for 13 hours straight and am in my MANIC PHASE. i can't wait to crash and burn after dinner, enter the depression :( phase :( and ignore the world again. at least i have college tomorrow, i really can't wait to go back. me and mum also got 100% on Lego Harry Potter Years 5-7 today and ps. fuck jk rowling FUCK YOU DRAGON!!

the depression phase has set in. a year ago today i was with my friend Owen seeing The 1975 live for the first time at the O2. we've both been fans since '13 and he's the reason i'm a fan, only to have had my numbness soothed by songs like Robbers and Love It If We Made it - so thank you Owen, for making sure i got this far. but i wanted to celebrate the occasion by listening to their last album while i went on a walk again. rather than feeling elated or happy, i just feel empty and like something is missing. because there's loads missing. a year ago today i wrote a so g called I'm Sat At A Concert And I'm Thinking Of You about Georgia, because every love song The 1975 played made me think of her. either j had my emotions confused again or i genuinely felt something for her. but i ended up falling out with her, and Rachel, and even Megan - another fan of the '75 i almost ended up in a relationship with before i was able to ruin it. surprise surprise!! i think about and miss them all daily and there's nothing i can do to get them back. i just want to phone one of them up and speak like civil friends, but i know that won't happen. maybe that's me romanticising my life?? i want to just call somebody up and talk, like therapy or a vent session. but it just feels like there's nobody there, that i would be annoying or a nuisance. i guess that's one of the down sides of forcing yourself into isolation and away from people. i also think i realised that Inner Mechanism, thought about my dwindling mental health, has this underlying theme of the people i love and miss the most. if it wasn't for at least five different people, this album wouldn't have been written and materialised. which has kind of given me a spark of drive to finish it and put it out asap, but at the same time, i don't know or think i have the energy right now.

#manic phase #depression #loneliness #insomniac #caffeine #monster energy #energy drink #sad #aesthetic #dark #diary #diary entry #With Nails

[askmerriauthor]

You want to tell them about what we've been doing recently? I thought last session was pretty good.

You’re just saying that because your sub-plot kicked into gear last game and you got to enjoy the narrative spotlight for a while.  :3c

That said, some other folk have been asking about the tabletop game, so why not?

Each Friday with my local group of friends (@ihavenoideahowthisworks here included in that number) I’ve been running a Pathfinder game, as I’ve had the DM bug recently.  I tend to roll heavy with “Rule of Cool” and “Rule of Funny”, so I err on the side of fun rather than sticking strictly to the hard numbers in the books.  Lots of house rules, lots of alcohol, good times all around.

The current party, all freshly 10th level as of last session, consists of:

Shaemus Sigmindson, a Chaotic-Good Half-Elf Rogue and the party’s friendly neighborhood backstabber.  Due to him hastily putting on what turned out to be a Cursed Ring and a few other magical hijinks, he’s now really good at climbing any and all surfaces at a rate of 60′ per round.  So he pretty much never touches the floor if he can help it and Xenomorph-scurries all around dungeons to literally get the drop on enemies.

Abby Noh Rahmael, a Chaotic Neutral Tiefling Magus.  Despite being highly fiendish in many literal ways, she’s the bubbly, wide-eyed heart of the team.  She has a particular knack for getting along with monsters, which leaves her heartbroken when the party inevitably kills them.  She’s recently adopted a young Cloaker and is raising it as a Monstrous Animal Companion.

Valka, a Neutral Evil Human Kineticist.  He’s a people person… with a drinking problem.  Valka is a former pirate/mafia smuggler who’s since become landbound for reasons unknown, and boy howdy does he make the land work for him.  He’s the party’s personal canon capable of putting out massive volumes of damage via Earth and Fire elemental attacks, Korra-style.  The hard part is getting him to cooperate, not fly into vengeful murderous rages over the tiniest of slights, or do really anything without first being paid.

Wenden Jardecha, a Neutral Good Human Warpriest.  Acts a whole lot like a Paladin despite not actually being one, primarily due to his method of worship.  He follows the goddess Sarenrae - a deity of forgiveness and righteousness, though she draws a line as to when evil people are beyond redemption.  Wenden prefers to enforce that line with a sword.  He’s also proven himself really good at crowd control by locking down Boss-Level enemies with status effects.

Henc Jardecha, a Neutral Good Human Arcanist.  The younger brother of Wenden.  Henc is a know-it-all spellcaster who likes to hang in the background mostly being unobtrusive, maybe casting a little Prestidigitation here and there for dramatic effect.  Until he suddenly decides to Summon a horde of powerful monsters and start tossing around Lightning Bolts when the whim takes him.  He has all of the Knowledge Skills and then some, and boy howdy does he love to rub those high info rolls in everyone’s face.

The game began with an Episode 0 where the party played pre-generated base characters not their own.  They delved into a Goblin-infested ruin after getting word of a mysterious monster living there that had been terrorizing local farmlands.  They met a Kobold Sorceress outside who joined the group and sort of helped them along, discovered a Goblin Chieftain who was weirdly upset with his role of leadership, and eventually faced off with the monster in question - a young Black Dragon.  Despite nearly dying in the process, the party managed to drive off the Dragon… only for the Sorceress and the Chieftain to reveal themselves to be a pair of Kobold thieves in disguise.  They’d been casing the joint before the party showed up and, after using them to get rid of the Dragon, pilfered a small box from the treasure hoard and made their escape.

Following that, Episode 1 kicks in.  The plot so far is that the group - a team from the Pathfinder Society of Adventurers - has been dispatched to the coastal city of Sandpoint upon hearing reports of Werewolves in the region.  Their investigation has taken them to Fangwood Keep - a module I’ve heavily edited and customized - and brought them into conflict with a horde of Hobgoblins that had taken over the castle.  After teaming up with a small militia of irregulars the Hobgoblins had kicked out of said keep, the party took back the structure and discovered that it was actually built from the ruins of an Elven wizard’s tower.  However, nothing was really clean-cut about the whole ordeal.  The party kept finding strange markings set everywhere, oddly mutated creatures, and even Goblinoids altered into far more powerful states wielding unusual magical weapons.  When they finally cornered and confronted the leader of the Hobgoblin tribe, it was revealed that the tribe had been hired by an unknown benefactor to take the Keep so that he could explore its secrets.  After a bit of quick decision-making and some fisticuffs between the Tiefling and the Hobgoblin Leader in an honor duel, the Hobgoblins actually cut a deal to leave unmolested and escape back to their own territory.

Digging deeper revealed the presence of an odd pocket space where the Elven wizard’s inner sanctum lay, filled with Fae and other odd creatures from the First World who had somehow become trapped there.  Some were hostile, others were friendly, but they all just want to go home.  In delving further in, the party uncovered evidence of the strange man who’d hired the Hobgoblins performing foul experiments.  After making their way to a buried chamber deep within the ruins, they finally came face to face with him… so to speak.  Not only was the stranger disguised entirely in a suit of fiendish living armor, but he was accompanied by two Black Dragons: the same young one that the first party had faced in Episode 0 and its mother, a terrifyingly powerful sorceress Dragon.  While their intentions for being in the Keep remained unclear, it all seemed to be part of the Strange Man’s experiments and research.

In the brief conflict that followed, the Strange Man readily offered a bribe to the party to simply turn around and leave without confrontation.  As the value of the bribe rose steadily to over 100k Gold Pieces, Valka happily accepted the deal (Shaemus was incredibly tempted and left his decision up to a die roll).  The Dragons weren’t happy about the Strange Man using their hoard as collateral though and decided to just kill the party instead.  Wenden ended up taking the worst of it and was briefly slain, though oddly the Strange Man exercised magic that kept him from dying even as his associates continued to fight…

While the party fended off the Mother Dragon to varying degrees of success, Wenden ended up being visited by his goddess Sarenrae and one of her Astral Deva heralds in a near-death-experience vision.  It was there the herald explained that the Strange Man they’d encountered was once a follower of Sarenrae as well.  And that he still is, to this present day, a Paladin.  He’s completely turned his back on his faith and has been doing everything he could think of to get the goddess to cut him loose of her influence, yet for reasons unexplained Sarenrae has refused to let him go.  Thus Wenden is given a divine quest: aid those the Strange Man has harmed, destroy his blasphemous Fiendflesh armor, and put a stop to his experiments.  However, the catch is that they cannot, under any circumstances, kill him - there’s too much risk of dark forces just waiting to snatch his soul and put his dangerous knowledge to use.

So, last we left off, the party had driven off their foes, so to speak.  The Strange Man cut the battle short when it became apparent the group was a genuine threat.  After halting time through some arcane scroll, he marked the group as part of his experiments and equipped them with a strange, magical deck of cards they’ve yet to fully understand.  With the Strange Man and the Dragons escaped for the time being, the party is left in possession of Fangwood Keep and a number of its First World occupants all relying on them to find a way home to their native plane.  As if that wasn’t enough, it also turned out that the Strange Man awakened some of his other test subjects on his way out, unleashing a pack of highly intelligent, magically capable Barghest Lycanthropes onto the land to give the party something to worry about rather than chasing him.

#pathfinder #rp stuff

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Nancy

Rio: If you wanna head home 'fore nan and granddad are ready, you can always have a lift back with us Nancy: Thanks Nancy: I'm in no rush though Rio: Having a good time then? Nancy: Sure Nancy: It's not a classroom, I'll take it Rio: Yeah, I bet you're buzzing Nancy: You mean you can't tell? Well, that's devastating Nancy: I reckoned on it being so obvious, like Rio: I mean, your poker face ain't all that, babe, if you wanna be real about it Nancy: More of a resting bitch, I know Nancy: The good news must not have sunk in yet Rio: Give it a few Nancy: Yeah Rio: Anyway, can't do anything about it now Rio: May as well enjoy your summer Nancy: Like I said, I already am Nancy: Aside from the prospect of going home Rio: 👍 Rio: How bad can it be Rio: he's taken one for the team Nancy: No, he's made sure exams mean more than they did before Nancy: and made me the focus since he's a less than safe convo topic Rio: Well, your family's inability to communicate is longstanding and not my fault so I'm not gonna take the blame for it, nor is my baby Rio: Sorry, like Nancy: I didn't ask Nancy: It's not my fault that his fall from grace makes me their poster child for success now either, I definitely never asked for that Rio: If you're going to feel so sorry for yourself, don't be surprised when people feel it for you in return Rio: Oddly enough our decision to have a child wasn't exactly about you Nancy: I'm only surprised the pity party isn't full already Nancy: My brother tends to take up a lot of space Rio: Please Rio: We've got no reason to be sorry, either definition Rio: we're happy, if you lot wanna be miserable then the party is all yours Nancy: Does he know that? Does he feel it? 'Cause he sounded like he wanted me to be sorry for him many times over when we last spoke Rio: Like I said, you're all crap at communicating Rio: but thanks Nancy: Yeah, and he's one of the worst Nancy: If I feel sorry for anything, it's for you, for that much, like Rio: Fuck off Rio: I don't need your pity Nancy: Don't tell me to fuck off Rio: Why not? You've seen fit to talk to me how you please Nancy: 'Cause you're judging my communication skills like its your job, for one thing Nancy: And for another, I haven't said anything like that to you, ever Rio: You said in as few words as possible that you don't think Buster really wants our baby, implying that I don't know him and we don't talk, whilst you were at it Rio: but no Rio: the f bomb in response, so much worse, Jesus Nancy: No I haven't Nancy: All I've said to him is that his timing is ridiculous and when was the last time we even spoke, me and you? Before exams probably so Rio: What does it matter to you, or your parents for that matter Rio: He's still going to Uni, he's still doing everything they want Nancy: I don't care what they want Nancy: I care about him and how hard it's gonna be Nancy: I won't be here to help either of you, not even in the same country, so excuse me for being worried Rio: When ain't life? Rio: You can't let that stop you from doing what you want Nancy: You don't need to make it harder on yourself, Jesus Rio: Well that ain't how it's going to be, or how we see it Nancy: It's easy for him to see it that way when he never admits that he needs help or that anything could possibly be a struggle in the slightest Nancy: He's just perfect and everything will be, end of story Rio: I help him Rio: and I know that, I knew that before this even started Nancy: I know you do and you know I love you, yeah? I'm not saying this to be a bitch to you Rio: I know Rio: but I don't get why you can't translate your worry into supporting him, that is literally all he needs from you Rio: instead of the constant barage of questions Nancy: because I'm scared for him and he scares me Nancy: how little he thinks about anything Nancy: He just wants and he gets and I'm the only one who cares if it'll work out or not Nancy: you know that's what he's always been like Rio: It's going to work out Rio: even if you wanna talk worst case scenarios, we have to get divorced, yeah Rio: he'll still have the kid, I'm not that bitch Nancy: I hope it does Nancy: Genuinely Nancy: You know that Rio: I think I do Rio: but you don't always show it Rio: I know it's a lot Rio: but it's hard for him when none of you seem happy for him or even say it's alright, like Rio: why do you think he can't admit he needs help, when has he got it? Nancy: Do you? 'Cause when you got together I had to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about him and you Nancy: He says he's loved you since he was a kid, I was there, I have almost the same memories Nancy: But I don't Nancy: at all Rio: Why does it matter? We were all kids Nancy: 'Cause all this time he was so unhappy and I didn't know, okay Nancy: I didn't do anything Rio: None of us did Rio: He didn't want you to know, anyone Rio: you can't take blame for it like you wilfully ignored cries for help but he's trying now Rio: he needs you now, okay Nancy: I'm trying too Nancy: I just Nancy: I don't know him, if I ever did Nancy: How am I meant to know what to do? Rio: You did Rio: You were close then, just because you didn't know this one thing doesn't mean you weren't Rio: You wouldn't tell him about every crush you had, especially if you felt shame about being gay or there was another reason you knew he could judge you for it, you know? Rio: Just, try and be nice to each other, simple and as stupid as it sounds Rio: that's all you gotta do in this world though Nancy: You can say wanting to fuck my teacher, that's pretty shameful, babe Nancy: Lord, did you really have to do the one thing that scares me most to test me Nancy: Babies are terrifying Rio: Well you know, I assume you weren't child thirsting after your reception teacher like 👌👌👌 nice cardigan miss Rio: Nah Rio: they're just people Rio: I guess that's kinda the problem though Nancy: Hey, she was cute! And very attentive Nancy: Well, not to be dramatic and turn this into a therapy session but the last time I was properly excited for a baby to be born, he died Nancy: And now we don't talk about him Rio: That isn't going to happen again Rio: and you could talk to Buster about him Rio: he's thinking about him too Nancy: Does he talk about him to you? Rio: Yeah, a little Rio: we're going to give the baby his name as a middle Nancy: Really? Rio: I should say we don't know it's a boy yet, we just think it is Rio: but I won't say 'if not, the next one' and freak you out further, like Nancy: Go ahead, I'm just out here openly crying at the beach Rio: I'm sorry Rio: you can use my ugly dress as a hankie if you wanna Nancy: It's not that bad Rio: It's years old 'cos everything I own now would leave no need to announce this Rio: tempting but probably not Nancy: You should have come to me, my wardrobe runneth over Nancy: Literally, I need to have such a huge clear out before uni starts Rio: You planning to reinvent yourself as a minimalist? 😏 Rio: local charity shops gonna be a goldmine, like Nancy: Reinvent myself, yeah, as that, no Nancy: I get it, not tempting to come over when I'm being a bitch Nancy: I'm sorry you have to suffer that dress as a result, babe Rio: Well you know, or we could say I was giving you space and time Rio: politer Rio: I'm not even sure it was ever mine Rio: maybe it was yours, the ultimately bitchery to get it out of my system Nancy: Not to be that bitch or lesbian stereotype, okay, but what's under it? Can you not just remove it now the secret's out? Nancy: Be you again Rio: 😂 Rio: Still got it, babe Rio: I guess I can now Rio: It's weird Nancy: Do it for my brother if not me Nancy: You think I need to sort my face, look at his right now Rio: Poor boy Rio: at least I didn't straighten my hair, then he'd really be devastated Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I wish you had, I'd have taken so many pics to post and tag him in Rio: 😏 Pure evil, like Nancy: Genetically, sorry Nancy: Not saying you should watch The Omen again or anything but Rio: 😲 How rude Rio: but if I remember correctly that fucker was adopted so it would've been more cutting to come at me with Rosemary's Baby, like Rio: slacking Nancy: Oops, horror movies not really my forte Rio: You should reconsider Rio: yeah the bitch always dies, but she's usually half-naked beforehand, like Nancy: Are you gonna put your arm around me when it gets scary though? I think not Rio: You know I would you just ain't vibing 💔 Nancy: Lies! I just told you to strip Rio: True enough Rio: There's hope yet then Nancy: I'm sorry for being a bitch this whole time Nancy: I've missed you, it feels like exams lasted years Rio: I know, it was stressful and I weren't even taking them so God knows how you lot survived Rio: How do you feel about them, genuinely? Nancy: I know you love him, but how much of a prick was he during his, like 1-10? To make me feel better Nancy: I feel bad but like, I always do about that stuff so Nancy: It doesn't mean anything Rio: Oh, 11, for sure 😏 Rio: no, it was hard though, he was stressed as fuck Rio: you'll have done what you needed to do, I know Nancy: At least you could play the pregnancy card, like DO NOT STRESS ME, BOY Nancy: I basically had to shut myself away to get the same effect Rio: I feel it, Junior looks like this is his first time seeing sunlight in years, he hasn't taken his sunglasses off Rio: know they're prescription but come on Rio: as for the pregnancy card, great for getting out of arguments you've probably caused being a crazy bitch, like Nancy: I don't think he remembers who any of us are 😂 Nancy: It's not too late to have some actual fun today, is it? Nancy: You need it too, Buster said you've been pretty sick Nancy: He's dramatic, but still Rio: Of course not Rio: Someone suggested going to the pub to celebrate but as I'm the one with the baby I can make sure they choose somewhere nice with a decent cocktail list and beer garden, not a grotty old man pub, like Rio: Just morning sickness but it was pretty shitty and lonely when he was at School and so was Indie Rio: but fingers crossed I'm over that now so Nancy: We have to do something about that dress first Nancy: Come with me before we go anywhere else Nancy: I will save you Rio: 🙌 Rio: If you take me near a maternity section, we will brawl Nancy: God no Nancy: I'd burst into flames Rio: 😂 Rio: You remembered suncream today though, yeah? Nancy: Yes, mum Nancy: Maternity clothes are actually disgusting and I'm not letting it happen to you Nancy: Or my niece or nephew, how embarrassing to look back on Rio: It's just not necessary either Rio: do you know how big most clothes go these days like Nancy: Thank you! Like be more creative than that Nancy: If you wear a smock I'm disowning you Nancy: I don't care if you're having twins in a heatwave Rio: You'll be glad to know it ain't, unless one of them was hiding real stealth, but I'd be much bigger, pretty sure Nancy: Yeah, you'd need more than that dress to hide behind, right? Mum was such a ridiculous size with us, the pics are actually like something out of a scary movie Nancy: Say what you like about her, and do, but she always looked good Rio: Honestly, poor bitch Rio: Feel her small girl pain in a way you can never Rio: feeling like a human ball some days and it is just the one Nancy: Why do you think I'm not taking you to a maternity section, they'd think I was the one with a baby on board Nancy: No offense but kill me Rio: Oh bitch no Rio: like, is daddy excited or terrified, Nance? Rio: straight girl bants Nancy: I nearly threw up in my mouth Nancy: Not morning sickness, sorry lads Rio: You keep down your breakfast if you getting in my car, thank you very much Nancy: Such a mum 😏