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puddygeeks · 3 years

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Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 8: Cᴀsᴜᴀʟᴛʏ

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Episodes: Earth Kills

Summary: Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ Bʟᴀᴋᴇ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴘɪᴛᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ Iɴᴅɪɢᴏ ʜᴀᴛᴇs: ʜᴀɴᴅsᴏᴍᴇ, ᴄʜᴀʀᴍɪɴɢ, ᴀʀʀᴏɢᴀɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴍᴘᴜʟsɪᴠᴇ. Uɴғᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ, ʜᴇ’s ᴀʟsᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ sʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʏ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ғʀᴏᴍ.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

This fic is currently going through rewrites, so chapters will be updated as I get to them. I’m not changing anything plot-wise, just hopefully improving the quality of writing :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Mentions of past non-consent, sexual threat language, sex, self harm, mentions of backstory suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use, suicide attempt (marked on relevant chapter).

Chapter Eight

The first sight to fill my blurred vision was Octavia’s deeply concerned expression, as she crouched over me and her face lit up when I began to gain consciousness.

"Hey! Take it slow. You passed out." She instructed gently, halting me from straightening up too quickly and instead assisted me to carefully sit up.

"How are you feeling now?" She enquired with her brows furrowed together in worry and I knew that I had given her a fright.

"Would you believe me if I said better?" I laughed earnestly and though I knew how protective she was, I hoped that she wouldn't make too much of a fuss of the incident. "Honestly, I think a little black out is just what I needed." I added with a playful smile and though she was clearly sceptical, she smiled in return.

"What's the situation with the air?" I questioned as I surveyed the room around us and noticed that nothing seemed any different than when I’d last been awake.

“It’s cleared. Everyone has gone back out to camp and Jasper has settled for now, so no more death threats.” She reported in a cheerful manner and I sighed in relief.

There was only so much that could be relied upon from books and I wouldn’t have trusted them to be correct on how long the effects of the fog were going to last. Not only did this cause concern for those of our camp who were currently out, but I had been fearful at the idea of protecting Jasper for any extended period whilst we were all trapped inside the ship.

“That’s a relief.” I breathed and she nodded in agreement. “Any chance that I could get some fresh air? It’s a little cramped in here.” I requested nervously and Octavia studied me suspiciously.

I could recognise that she was considering whether I was being honest about my condition and despite my frustrations, I couldn’t really blame her for this. After a few moments of silent deliberation, she glanced over my shoulder at Monty and I was relieved when he nodded in approval. In a final test, Octavia assisted me to my feet and then removed her grip to check that I could maintain my balance.

"Fine.” She breathed as she completed her assessment. “You look better than you did earlier, at least. Just so you know, you still look like crap, though." She teased with a subtle wink and I chuckled lightly in response.

"I'm coming with you, just in case." She demanded and I agreed reluctantly, accepting that this probably the maximum that I could expect from her in these circumstances.

The rickety ladder that led to the bottom floor presented me with my most substantial challenge and though it took some time to climb down, I managed to reach the exit. My legs still shook slightly from the strain, but I felt better than I had all of the previous day.

Octavia remained close at my side, watching my every move as we wandered out into the camp and I took a deep breath of the fresh air, the experience still feeling novel to me. Fortunately, I found that I didn’t feel as nauseous outside and took a seat by the fire with Octavia right beside me.

"Any news on your brother, or the hunting group?" I investigated hopefully, but Octavia shook her head regretfully and her concerned expression returned.

"They're getting a group ready to look for them." She confirmed regretfully and despite her attempts to conceal the fear that she felt, I recognised it in her voice.

Just as I opened my mouth to reassure her, several people around us jumped to their feet and a voice in the distance announced that the group were back. Octavia bolted to standing and the moment that Clarke and Finn entered the clearing, she ran over to intercept them. They seemed to be making a beeline for the dropship, and whilst she followed them, I continued to observe the spot where they had entered.

Wells was the next to return, closely followed by Bellamy and I noticed that he was carrying something large behind him. Dread filled my stomach as I hoped that this was simply the spoils of their hunt, but his expression was far from victorious and I carefully rose to my feet to investigate.

"Octavia.” Bellamy stuttered sharply as she reemerged from the ship and the tone that he addressed her with caused chills to spread down my spine. “Just stay there. Please, stay back." He pleaded and I rushed to catch her as she attempted to fight her way past him.

Unfortunately, my shaky legs wouldn’t allow me to reach her in time and she blew past me with her focus firmly set on her brother. Octavia barged past him and crouched to discover what he had carried back to camp. Shuffling closer, I still hadn’t reached them and hoped that I would not have to mitigate an argument in my current state.

"There was nothing I could do." Bellamy stated in a regretful manner, a vulnerability in his expression that I hadn’t witnessed before and my stomach lurched at his words.

"Don’t."

Octavia's voice was firm as she snapped at him and the hurt in her tone confirmed my fears. As I crept closer, I noticed tears running down her cheeks and knew immediately who had been lost. Her hands trembled slightly as she covered Atom’s face that was severely burned from the acid and though I wanted to wrap my arms around her, I respected her space to allow her to say goodbye,

Bellamy pleaded with her to listen as she straightened up, but she simply stormed past him despite his attempts to catch her and it was clear that she hadn’t even noticed me in her heartbreak. I slowly began to follow her when Murphy passed me and I paused on the spot, feeling conflicted between comforting my best friend and defending against a kill order on Jasper.

After the traumatic events of the day, I hoped that Bellamy would be reasonable enough to turn Murphy down, but he’d proven himself to be unpredictable thus far and I remained rooted to the spot with anxiety. The sound of Bellamy sniffing as if he were holding back tears surprised me and I listened eagerly to their hushed conversation.

“Lose anyone here?” He enquired in his usual authoritative manner that masked the upset that seemed obvious to me and I wondered if anyone else had noticed it.

"No."

Murphy's answer was unnervingly cold and I sensed a hint of disappointment beneath it. I felt myself shudder at his tone, uncomfortable with the implication that he would have enjoyed murdering Jasper.

"Jasper?" Bellamy nodded to the dropship as he spoke and I waited for the answer with a tension in my gut.

"Still breathing. Barely. I tried to take him out, but your psycho little sister-"

Murphy's words caused me to turn on the spot to lunge at him, but wasn't able to grab him in time, instead stumbling from my continued weakness. Recovering back into a standing position took me a few moments, but as I reoriented myself, I could hear the sounds of a struggle.

Once I straightened up and my vision cleared, I realised that Bellamy was holding Murphy by his jacket, his fists balled tightly enough around the fabric for his knuckles to turn white.

"My what?!" He growled as he held Murphy's face intimidatingly close to his. "My what?!" He repeated his question with his teeth bared in fury as he spoke and for the first time since we'd met, I found myself respecting him.

Reflected in him was the same veracity that I was unable to control whenever anyone treated Octavia in a manner that I was uncomfortable with and for the first time, I felt as if we shared something more than simply our care for our. Afterall, if he possessed this level of protective anger for his sister, it showed that he was capable of putting someone else’s needs first and it gave me hope that there was more to him than the façade he currently displayed.

"Your little sister." Murphy answered calmly as pushed Bellamy away from him, but the reaction seemed to be caused by frustration, rather than the arrogant rebellion that he normally displayed.

This was the first time that I’d seen Murphy behave in such a manner to threats and it was deeply interesting to me that Bellamy was able to accomplish something that no guards or authority of any kind had seemed to be able to do on the Ark. It gave me valuable insight into his leadership and I began to wonder if their alliance was based on fear rather than camaraderie.

"Yeah! That's right. My little sister." Bellamy growled as he closed back into Murphy’s space, using his slightly taller posture to stare down at him with intensity.

"Got anything else you want to say about her?" He offered in a threatening voice and I felt myself smiling at our newfound similarity.

Murphy was clearly immensely uncomfortable and I realised that I had never seen him this intimidated before, even with Pike. The power balance was obvious now and this confirmed that Bellamy was the key to peace within the camp.

"Nothing. Sorry." Murphy muttered nervously and I quietly scoffed under my breath as he cowered beneath the larger man.

Bellamy stared at him for a few moments longer, breathing deeply before stepping back.

"Get him out of here." He pointed to Atom's body without glancing back at it, as if he couldn’t bear to witness it again and his voice broke as he spoke.

The level of emotion that radiated from him shocked me, before I was distracted by a few members of his usual group crowding around Atom to move him. Bellamy turned back to flash Murphy one final warning glare, before he stormed out of camp.

I crossed my arms as I observed Murphy and flinched when he threw a dagger into a nearby tree. Though he was known to lash out, even in the Skybox, I made a mental note to keep a close eye on his rising anger issues before they caused any further problems in our camp.

Stumbling into the trees, I decided to follow Bellamy to discuss my concerns whilst he was in a reasonable state of mind and it wasn’t long before the trembling of my legs became a challenge. My vision grew steadily more blurred until I could hardly make out where I was going and though I reached out to lean against a tree for balance, I realised too late that I had misjudged its position.

Moments before I hit the ground, I was caught by a large figure who assisted in returning me to a standing position. I clung to them as I reoriented myself, waiting for the spinning to cease so that I could thank them and even though the haze of my sight, I could recognise Bellamy’s scruffy hair and freckles.

"What are you doing out here?" He enquired with confusion and I noticed that he didn't immediately remove his grip on me.

My mind struggled to catch up to the events that had just passed and as I managed to comprehend that he had caught me, I couldn’t find anything to say. As sense returned to me, I realised that I was still holding his arms with desperation and quickly broke all contact.

"Looking for you." I replied casually in a poor attempt to downplay the situation and I stepped back to create space between us when my knees buckled.

Bellamy caught my weight for a second time and though I had intended to distance myself, he now threaded an arm around my waist to keep me upright. With his help, I shuffled over to a nearby tree stump and I was surprised at how delicate his movements were as he lowered me into a seated position.

"You look awful." He stated with a tone of concern, but I couldn't help smiling at his choice of words.

There was a similarity with Octavia as he scrutinised me, his eyes scanning me for any visible injuries that might need treatment and I avoided meeting his eyes, feeling immensely self conscious under his examination. The longer that he stared at me, the more awkward I became and I was determined to shift his focus away from me as quickly as possible.

"That's utterly charming of you to say." I drawled sarcastically and for a moment, a small smile seemed to break his expression. It felt strange to share humour with him and the relaxed atmosphere between us was somewhat jarring after our history of arguments.

"I'm fine. Just a little shaky." I sighed as he raised his brows at me expectantly and seemed unconvinced by my answer, crossing his arms at me.

"When did you last eat?" He investigated, thinning his eyes at me in a suspicious manner and I rolled my eyes at the question which felt as if it had an ulterior motive.

"I said that I'm fine, Bellamy. I've been foraging in the woods. I can take care of myself." I stated firmly.

Food was an especially sensitive topic between us and I couldn’t help feeling defensive. Mostly, I was frightened as I began to feel so unwell that I would be likely to accept any terms for a meal and feared that he would seize the opportunity to exploit my vulnerability. Though I was completely exhausted, I battled to keep my guard up against whatever tactic he attempted next.

"I know that I haven't made it easy for you to accept anything from me." He sighed regretfully as he took a seat beside me and kept his gaze trained on his feet. "You're right. I need to lead. Not just with my words, with my actions too."

Something was different about him tonight. In every past interaction between us, his charming attitude and arrogant answers blocked any real conversation and in this moment, that sensation was missing.

Bellamy leaned forward with his arms resting on his knees and ran a hand through his hair in a gesture of stress. Though I still suspected that this might be a well planned trap, I felt my internal walls slightly lowering as I considered him.

"I must confess, hearing you admit that I'm right does make me feel better." I spoke with a light, comical tone and he flashed a cheeky smirk in my direction.

It was the closest thing to a genuine smile that I’d seen on him since we met and though I wasn’t sure how he had convinced it out of me, it seemed that my humorous personality had decided to reveal itself to him.

"Where's this coming from?" I asked as I offered him the opportunity to explain himself and he sighed, staring out into the words.

His expression was more serious than I’d seen before and it seemed as if he were considering whether he could trust me. I couldn’t tell why, but there was a strong ache within me that urged me to support him and to be the person who offered to listen.

Though I knew that sharing my concerns first would create a more even atmosphere between us, I couldn’t bring myself to trust him enough to display any vulnerability and instead, allowed him the time to decide for himself.

"We lost Atom in the fog. I couldn't save him." He confessed, seeming as if he could no longer hold the thoughts inside and he kept his gaze focused on the trees as he spoke.

I sighed as my attention shifted to the ground, inspecting my boots as a distraction from the waves of emotion that radiated off him.

"I know." I muttered in a low voice and we fell back into silence.

It was strange to remain so quiet in response to a topic as devastating as this, but my deeply ingrained behaviour to protect myself kept me from offering any advice until I knew that he wouldn’t throw it back in my face. In direct contradiction to my generally honest attitude, I was afraid to open myself up to anyone with the power to truly hurt me and though a part of me longed to lighten the tension, I chewed my lip as I awaited a display of trust from him.

"I failed him."

Bellamy's words cut through the atmosphere between us and his voice with emotion cracked as he spoke. The hurt poured from him and for the first time, it felt as if he were allowing me to see the real him. It surprised that he had chosen to be vulnerable first and I sighed as I prepared myself to return the gesture.

"No, Bellamy. You didn't." I replied sternly and he turned to face me with tears in his eyes. My breath hitched for a moment at the raw emotion in his face and I felt my heartbeat quicken. "It came out of nowhere. It was fast and deadly." I asserted as I provided the unbiased facts that I knew he would not be able to acknowledge through his own guilt.

"You didn't lose anyone here." He muttered as he returned his gaze to the ground and I noticed he was balling his fists in an unconscious act of aggression.

Though his reaction still felt controlled, I could only imagine how severely he was berating himself internally and I sympathised with his pain. Considering our differences in circumstances, I attempted to present them in a way that might lighten the impact of the day's events for him.

"We were standing outside the perfect shelter; you were out in the wilderness. You can't compare the situations. You're being unfair to yourself." I spoke firmly and surprised myself at my own determination to prevent him from blaming himself.

My words were honest and I absolutely believed that he wasn’t at fault for Atom’s death, but defending him was a diversion that I hadn’t expected. Silence fell between us, but unlike any other time, it wasn’t uncomfortable, or tense. If anything, it was easy and I felt content simply being there for him whilst he remained deep in thought.

"I couldn't finish him." He knotted his hands together and stared straight down at the ground when he finally spoke again.

The honesty of this statement left me stunned and I took a sharp breath in response. Until this moment, I hadn’t realised the brutality of Atom’s death and as I considered this new information, I shared in the weight of his confession.

"The fog didn't kill him?" I enquired gently, with an overbearing guilt for even asking him to relive the traumatising situation.

Bellamy shook his head, but continued to avoid even glancing in my direction. It was understandable that he couldn't face me as he recounted the experience and I continued to feel awestruck that he was even discussing this with me at all.

"He begged me to end it and I-I couldn't do it. After all my threats with Jasper, after lecturing Clarke about not being able to make the tough decisions, I had to rely on her to do it." He revealed in barely more than a whisper and I sighed as I carefully considered my response.

It was obvious that every word he spoke was something that he needed to share, to release from his soul. I completely understood the sense that he was unable to live up to his words. My earlier assertion that I was the only member of camp with any wisdom to offer replayed in my mind, yet I struggled to produce any advice of value.

For a moment, I reflected on the lessons that my father had passed on to me and knew that they were the sole reason that I was able to maintain focus on matters of survival. It would be difficult to summarise these concepts into something brief and easy to absorb, but I knew that they were at least a few points that might be able to bring him some peace.

"It's no simple thing to take a life, not even in mercy. Sometimes, the person who has the instincts to make the right choice and the person who is able to act on those choices are different. There's no shame in that." I advised gently whilst he peeked up at me, his face contorted by a vile mixture of torment and regret and my heart ached for him.

"I'm their leader. They need to be able to rely on me. I have to act on my choices." His words were firm and defensive, but not unreasonable.

"Next time, you will." I answered confidently, not expecting to believe my words so strongly.

His response made it painfully clear that he had been more affected by my earlier verbal attacks than I first believed, as he revealed an awareness of his responsibility as a leader that had been absent before. I sighed, feeling guilty for my harsh approach and attempted to build him back up somewhat.

"None of us expected to have to make these choices. We’re not trained for this. It will take time to adjust. Of course you're going to make mistakes, but you'll learn from them. Just start honing those instincts. They'll lead you right." I smiled reassuringly at him as I repeated the advice that I had often given Octavia with a feeling of nostalgia.

The way that he viewed me with an expression of absolute wonder shocked me to my core and I broke out eye contact with an uncomfortable shuffle. He brought his hands to his face and rubbed at his tired eyes, then rose to his feet.

"We'd better get back." He offered as he attempted to force his voice to return to it's normal, matter of fact tone, but I could still sense the anguish behind his words.

"I'm going hunting again tomorrow. Whatever I catch, you'll get the first serving." He offered, before noticing my hesitant expression and sighing regretfully, as he realised that I was still uncertain of his intentions. "Don't worry. I don't want anything from you in exchange. Just consider it a thank you for this." He held his hand out to me and although I would have preferred not to touch him again in such a short encounter, I allowed him to help me to my feet.

Once standing, I felt more stable and broke off from him to wander back to the dropship alone, whilst he returned to leading. By the time that I managed to struggle up the ladder to the top floor, the space seemed quiet and only Octavia, Monty and Finn were sitting in the room.

They were passing around a glass bottle and I snatched it to take a long swig without thinking. The thick alcohol burned down my throat into my stomach sickeningly and I coughed lightly in disgust. I'd never drank alcohol before and in the past, I hadn’t ever trusted myself to handle it. The taste was actually worse than I’d imagined, so I quickly handed the bottle back to Monty with a grimace.

"What was that?" Octavia gasped in amazement and I dropped myself down at her side. Due to her awareness of my past avoidance of alcohol, she thinned her eyes at me suspiciously and I squirmed under her scrutiny.

"Did something happen?" She hinted, causing Bellamy's tormented face to pop into my mind and I felt my cheeks flushing instantly at the memory. After our conversation, I’d needed the drink and honestly still felt confused as to how it had happened. With a shudder, I quickly pushed the thought away and tried to avoid Octavia's interested expression.

"Nothing. It's been a hell of a day is all." I grumbled, turning away from her to cover my blush.

The bottle made its way around the group who each hissed and just as it reached Finn, a voice caught us all by surprise.

"Can I - uh - get a hit of that?" Jasper asked faintly and his simple question caused a wave of excitement to pass through the previously tired group.

"Jasper!" Monty exclaimed, immediately jumping to his feet and we all followed closely behind to surround him.

Finn rushed forward to grab the water canister for him and Monty hopped straight on to the bottom of the bed, practically crouched over his friend in his elation.

"Let's start with the soft stuff." Finn stressed as he held the canister to Jaspers mouth so that he could drink.

Octavia and I held hands and smiled at each other, observing the scene from his bedside. Internally I thanked every force that I could name for allowing him another chance at life. Once Jasper was done drinking, Finn helped lay him back down.

"Welcome back, buddy." He chirped, prompting us all to share words of encouragement and celebration.

Jasper struggled to raise his hand and for a moment I worried that he was reaching for something, but Monty grabbed it in what seemed to be a meaningful gesture for them. I realised that they were simply reconnecting and smiled warmly at the two of them, feeling my heart swell with appreciation. Their reunion gave me my first taste of true hope since we landed and I prayed that it was a sign of a turning tide.

"Was that a dream, or did I get speared?" Jasper cracked in his usual playful manner and I couldn't stifle a snort of laughter, mixed with a subtle tear of joy.

"You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it."

Clarke announced, causing me to startle as she crept into the room and just like the rest of us, she was beaming at Jasper.

"My saviour!" He cheered as enthusiastically as he could manage in his condition and Clarke crouched by his side, her smile fading to disbelief as she viewed him.

"Thank you. For not dying." She spoke gently and with a tone of absolute wonder and I knew that we all shared the same sense of appreciation for our cheerful miracle. "I don't think I could have taken that today."

"Well, I'll try not to die tomorrow too, if that's cool." Jasper replied.

Relief flooded me to find that his wit and attitude remained, and I was pleased to find that all of the suffering he’d endured over the past few days hadn’t damaged his sense of humour. Everyone around me chuckled together and as I surveyed them, I raised that it was the first time that I’d seen even a hint smile in them since the river.

Octavia leaned over to pat his leg, squeezing as if she needed to confirm that he was real and Jasper glanced over in a manner that indicated he had only just noticed her.

"Oh, hello!" He crooned in a tone that completely exposed his delight at her presence.

True, hearty laughter carried in the group at his excitement, most noticeably in Octavia and she smiled wider than I'd ever seen before.

After a few small, contented groans Jasper passed back into sleep and we all simply took a moment to smile at each other, each basking in our relief. Without a single word shared between us, I knew that tonight would be the first time we slept properly since our bumpy arrival here.

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