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chaseatlanticslut · 5 months

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The time is now

So I know a lot of y’all have prob been in the manifestation and/or shifting community for a hot minute, most of us a year or more. (Trust me, I’ve been in the shifting community for 3 years and the Law of Assumption community for 2 years, 3 if you count the horrible yet canon event of Law of Attraction 💀). So it’s been a while and I know how you feel. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. But at one point or another, you need to get out of the victim mindset and own up to why you haven’t manifested your desires, entered the void state, or shifted after a year or more of having a plethora of knowledge at your disposal. I’m applying this to myself as well, so don’t think I’m attacking anyone or being hypocritical. But in all seriousness, when is the last time you really tried? Be honest. And I don’t mean when’s the last time you said affirmations here and there for a few days and didn’t persist or live in the end for a substantial amount of time. Or that time you “thought” about shifting right before you rolled over and went to sleep without setting so much as an intention. But here’s the thing, I’m not telling you to try harder or do more, not in the slightest, because shifting and manifesting and entering the void state is supposed to be simple and easy if you accept that fact and let it. No, the advice and wake up call I’m trying to give is, put in a little more effort, have an INTENTION, and stop being lazy. Like seriously. Aren’t you TIRED???? Aren’t you done living this bullshit life and circumstances and not having your manifestations you dreamed so hard for? Aren’t you tired of not shifting and living in your dream desired reality doing whatever the hell you want?? Aren’t you tired of not waking up in the void state and waking up to the same lifestyle? Aren’t you sick of it? Then do something about it. We are almost done with 2023. 2024 is right around the corner. No way we’re letting YET ANOTHER year pass us by without accomplishing what we’ve been trying to do, and what we came here to do. Enough is enough. You are manifesting your dream life, you are shifting, and you are waking up in the void state or all of the above if you’re like me. I don’t care what you have to do. I’m so tired of y’all not living your dream lives like in what universe do you think that’s okay or acceptable bc it’s not. I know for some of you it’s been so long you don’t see the point and it’s hard to stay disciplined or motivated. So in the comments section anyone that needs to be kicked in gear daily until you get your shit needs to comment and I want all of you to hold yourselves accountable. Someone commented they want to shift to their Hogwarts DR? Okay, remind them every single day to shift and not stop until they do, and let that serve as a reminder to you as well. Ofc if you need to take breaks you always should do that, but if you’re in the right frame of mind to keep going and not stop, do it. The time is now. No more procrastinating. No more “I’ll wake up in the void tomorrow” no bitch DO IT TODAY. Goddamn it. This is your LIFE we’re talking about not a game and you think it’s okay to postpone your desires for another minute??! Hell no. Get off your ass and do what you need to do. Hold yourself accountable to the best of your abilities. Stop complaining about it bc all that time you used to complain could’ve been used to affirm or focus on your shifting or void state self concept, whatever steps it may be to lead you closer to your end goal. I know you’re tired and drained fucking trust me I know how hard the journey has been, but maybe it wouldn’t have been so hard if we had just buckled down from the start and done what we needed to do and figured out what worked best for us and stopped listening to people that are close minded with limiting ass beliefs. So from this point on, starting IMMEDIATELY, you are not going to waste another day. Haven’t tried to shift in over a year and a half like me? (I took a “shifting break” in May 2022💀), or however long it’s been?

Idc, looks like tonight’s your night and every single night after until you fucking shift. Haven’t tried to enter or wake up in the void state for a hot minute? (I stopped in July bc it was low key ruining my mental health the way I was obsessing over it). Oh, cool, looks like you and I are attempting tonight no ifs ands or buts. NONE. Consider this a challenge. It’s called “Get your desires before 2024” if you’re manifesting, “Tap in the void state before 2024” if you’re trying to enter the void state and manifest your dream life that way, or “Reality shift before 2024” if you’re shifting. It’s early November and if we really persist the entire time this is more than achievable. So, the only rules for this is to either in the comments section of this post or in your own separate post you’re going to document your journey from here on out and update once you’ve finally done it. Every single day (unless ofc like I said you need a break or life happens and you for whatever reason can’t, I get it shit happens lol). I’ll even be doing it with you, so stay tuned for that. No more over consuming info you already fucking know. Use all your free time you possible can or just utilize night time wisely if you only do shit before bed. We’re done. We’re getting our shit. And if you don’t participate I will personally come over and beat your ass bc YOU DESERVE TO LIVE YOUR DREAM LIFE not daydream about it, not sit around wising and hoping for it but actually fucking living it. And idc what I have to do to get the message across. So with that being said, do the “challenge” or however you want to view it and I love you and you got this. 💕

#reality shifting #law of assumption #manifesation #loassumption #void state

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maislovebot · 8 months

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Top 10 bsd characters oral scenarios: Mushitaro Oguri

After putting this off for a very, very long time I’ve finally decided to begin cross-posting this on Tumblr after procrastinating because Tumblr formatting is weird. These are originally posted on ao3

(Shameless plug here)

If you wanna see the original posts or some other works of mine I haven’t posted on Tumblr be sure to check it out:)

Featuring: ofc oral, afab reader, no pronouns, a sort of sub Mushitaro, but also kinda not.. depends on your interpretation tbh, established relationship, desk/chair oral, vaginal fingering, slight overstimulation, hair pulling, slight hurt/comfort and slight angst with a happy ending!

Poor Mushitaro was pitifully bored. I mean, when your beloved partner has been doing nothing but sitting around all day, you begin to get so bored you’re willing to trace the lines along the popcorn ceiling. Mushitaro didn’t want that, he just wanted his beloved partner to pay attention to him, and for them to take a small break. Mushitaro knows all too well what happens when people overwork themselves from having many, many in-depth conversations with Yokomizo. Yokomizo has told him that overworking oneself is similar to a fire that has been burnt out from a rainstorm, it gets burnt down so fast yet it takes a very long time for the fire to be able to light again because the cinders are still wet.

Mushitaro doesn’t want that to happen to you, and considering what happened to his beloved friend Yokomizo, he wants to try and avoid you acting like him in as many ways as possible. He doesn’t want you to share the same fate.

It’s too bad you’re just so damn stubborn .

Mushitaro planned to come up with an effective way to get you away from that damn paperwork, even if you were slightly annoyed by him because of it

Mushitaro waited for the perfect opportunity to set his plan into action. He walked into your office quietly, and noticed that you were rubbing your throat with your hand slightly.

“Are you thirsty, my love?”

“A little.. could you get me something to drink?”

“Of course, will water do?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

The responses you were giving were bare bones, and in all honesty, it was making Mushitaro a little nervous. Whatever, it’s fine he’s going to get you to take your mind off of your work no matter what.

Off Mushitaro went, to get you some water.

‘ Well, that was anticlimactic, ’ Mushitaro thought as he returned to your office with a small glass cup in hand.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks, Oguri.”

The water hitting your dry throat felt amazing, and you felt just a little bit better. Maybe that metaphorical storm was beginning to hit less harshly, and the small smile that reached your lips confirming this brought a smile to his face as well.

Mushitaro sat down in the corner of the room on the chair you had for moments like this. You didn’t always have a spare chair in your office, but now that Mushitaro was your beloved fiancé, he demanded attention even when you were working.

He sat still for about thirty seconds before he sat up again and crept towards your back. He leaned down from behind you, with you sitting in your plush office chair, and kissed the top of your shoulder. Your breath hitched and you turned your back towards him.

“What’re you doing?” You questioned.

He didn’t respond, and instead walked around to the side of your desk and stood there for a few seconds. Clearly confused, you shook your head slightly and kept working. It didn’t take very long for you to zone out and practically forget Mushitaro was even in the room in the first place, which is clearly what Mushitaro wanted, because once you had begun focusing on your work again, he slowly made his way down to his knees and crawled beneath your wooden desk, bending his back a little bit because he was too tall for such a confined space.

You were focused, but even then you could notice Mushitaro slightly groaning at being shoved in such a tight space.

“You good under there?”

“No, could you move your chair out a little so I can move forward?”

You took this as Mushitaro asking you to completely move out of the way, so you sighed and laughed a little, wondering why he went under your desk in the first place just to crawl out mere seconds later, but you were met with his hands grabbing the sides of your chair once you had made it just far enough for you to let his head peep out. Mushitaro gave a smirk, and you were finally beginning to understand just what he was trying to do.

“Oh come on, can’t you at least wait till I’m done with work?”

Mushitaro sighed, and shook his head.

“Normally, yes. But you’ve been working even longer than usual, and I want to help you out before you get so burnt out you can’t even work hard again for god know how long.”

“Oh come on, that’s not gonna happen.”

“It happened to Yokomizo.”

Suddenly you felt bad, considering that he went as far as to bring up his late friend. Was he really that worried? He laid his head on your knee, and you ran your fingers through his unkempt hair. It was sweet to see this side of him, considering how much effort he put into his appearance, it was nice to see him without his typical suit and hair gelled to perfection.

“I’m sorry, Oguri. I made you worried. What do you want to do now? You have my full, undivided attention.” You replied to his previous statement with slightly sorry eyes.

Mushitaro nuzzled into your touch, and he kept his head on your knee for a few seconds.

He had you now. Now he just needed to make use of it.

“I do have a way you could make it up to me..” Mushitaro trailed off.

“Do what you were planning on doing before I so rudely interrupted you.” Considering what you were getting yourself into, you had begun to feel a similar heat beginning to form.

Mushitaro smiled, and you felt everything was resolved now.

He took little time to ask you to lift your hips so you could take off your bottoms, when Mushitaro suddenly looked confused.

“Why’re you wearing nice underwear to do office work? ” Mushitaro questioned you, smiling in confusion a little.

“Don’t ask me, they’re the first ones I found.”

Mushitaro giggled a little, and removed your underwear as well, leaving you completely naked from the waist down. You closed your legs just a little bit too much for him to access you, leaving him confused.

It’s not like he hasn’t eaten you out before, but still, it’s hard to not get a little shy when he's at face level with the most intimate part of your entire body.

Realization hit Mushitaro, and his smile turned to a smirk before talking.

“There’s no need to be shy.” Mushitaro looked down and to the right, then played with a little bit of his hair to make light of the situation.

You blushed, and Mushitaro smiled again. “No, but really.. get comfortable. I’m gonna help you out.”

“Alright..” you slowly opened your legs again, and Mushitaro grabbed your hips lightly, so lightly in fact you could still move if you tried. He was more trying to comfort you more than hold you in place, and it was nice.

Mushitaro moved his head up just a little, and confirmed with you one last time.

“So, you’re really okay with this? I’m not getting in your way or anything?”

“No. You’re fine. Please, touch me.”

Mushitaro could feel his face heat up at the request. Sure he had started this whole ordeal, but you being so straightforward caught him off guard. With that, Mushitaro leaned forward and gave a small kiss to the inside of your right thigh, before moving his face up more and moving his hand up at the same time. He temporarily rested his right hand on the front of the chair, where the gap between your legs was. He brought his face forward just a little more and left a lick up your heat, and once his tongue landed on your clit, he rested there, licking at it and simultaneously licking up the precum that was leaking from you.

You threw your head back at the sudden touch and you let out a small moan. Mushitaro noticed your pleasure and brought his finger up to your entrance and pushed his index finger inside of you, making you jolt a little, with your head still leaning back.

“A-ah, is this okay?” Mushitaro questioned.

“Yes, keep going.”

Mushitaro felt his pants tighten at the demand, and went right back to it. He pulled his finger out to the tip and brought it back, while still licking at your clit. After a few moments, he added another finger and was curling his fingers up slightly, making you cry out.

You gripped the arm of the chair with your left hand, and gripped the side of it with your right. Mushitaro’s pace was slow and steady, and it was driving you crazy . Just how much would it take to make him speed up, even just a little? With that, you thrust your hips forward slightly so you could hopefully meet his tongue and fingers faster, and Mushitaro didn’t stop you, clearly wanting you to find pleasure however you saw fit.

Mushitaro could feel his face beginning to get wet with your precum, but he was loving every second of it. When Mushitaro’s fingers curled forward and stayed there for multiple seconds, you cried out and moved your hand to the top of his hair and pulled it.

The storm was beginning to die down, and was becoming more of a sprinkle if anything. However, the drizzle was remaining consistent, making your work still cloud the back of your mind. You didn’t want this. You had to make him move faster. Your fire was hanging on by a thread before, but now it’s slowly rebuilding, going against the water dripping down onto it.

“Keep—ah-going. Don’t stop.” You whined, and Mushitaro obeyed. In fact, he finally decided to pick up the pace. He began to finger you with more drive than before, and he was beginning to alternate between sucking and licking your clit, making you jerk your hips forward more often.

You felt the familiar feeling of release beginning to rise, and you warned Mushitaro.

“Oguri, I’m cl—ose. Please, keep going. Keep fucking going. ” Mushitaro was beginning to get painfully hard, and he moved his hand down to palm himself through his pants, hoping for some sort of friction. Any kind of friction. You didn’t try to stop him, you were too worried about yourself at this point, no matter how selfish that might sound.

The storm was gone, now all that ever implied there even was a storm in the first place was the wet feeling of the ground and the smell of rain lingering in the air. To make things even better, your fire was almost back to its original state.

You pulled his hair even more, and with a cry, you came. Mushitaro went back to only licking your clit, but he didn’t let up. He kept fingering you at the same pace and you began to tear up just a little.

“Plea—ah, please, it’s t-too much,” Mushitaro moved his hand up to your clit and ran circles on it. “P-please! It’s—”

“Alright, alright, sorry. I’ll stop now.” Mushitaro pulled away, and pulled his hand away from himself too. Too worried about your current state right now, less worried about his current problem.

Now all evidence of the storm was gone, and your fire was actually bigger than average, fitting for the overstimulation Mushitaro had decided to perform.

“Now, tell me, are you stressed at all? Still on your way towards burn out?” Mushitaro said, smirking knowingly while laying his arms out on your legs and putting his head on top of his arms.

“Nope, it actually did help a lot. Thank you.”

The sudden praise went right to him, and he was reminded of his borderline painful hard-on.

“Looks like you need some help now, though.” You smiled and cupped his face, moving your chair back, implying that he should stand up, which he did. When he made it all the way down, you grabbed his arm and pulled him down to your chair, and kissed him. You rubbed circles on his hip, making him gasp a little, giving you room to bring your tongue inside his mouth. Mushitaro melted into the kiss, and sat down on the chair to straddle you, before bringing his hands down to grope you lightly.

Just then, you ran out of air so you pulled away. You caught your breath for a few seconds before teasing him.

“Wow. You really are desperate.” Mushitaro looked away, before removing his hands from you and twirling his hair in his right hand again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You laughed, and kissed him on the forehead. It was a quick kiss, as you pulled away almost as soon as you connected with him.

“You wanna know what you are as well?” You teased him, and he looked you in the eye.

“What is that?”

“Dramatic.”

Mushitaro gave a fake offended gasp, and replied.

“I am not dramatic! How could you insinuate that? How cruel you are.”

You looked at him with an all too knowing look, and blinked a few times.

“You came up with a whole plan to get me away from my work. That’s pretty dramatic if you ask me.”

“Well, you’d be wrong.” Mushitaro rolled his eyes, dare you say it, dramatically.

You sighed and replied, “you literally just proved my point..”

Mushitaro’s eyes got softer, and you smiled at this.

“You know.. I’m really really happy we’re getting married. I love you, and I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.” The tips of Mushitaro’s ears got red because of his confession, and you were about to respond before he kept going.

“I’m not just referring to sex like this. I can’t picture waking up and turning over to see any face other than yours, or getting home from the dry cleaners and seeing any other person sitting on the couch waiting for me.”

“Oguri, I—you’re so sweet. You know, the feelings are mutual. I can’t picture anyone else distracting me from work and sneaking under my desk. It’s like you’re built for the job.” You replied, whispering a little. This moment was nice, you didn’t want your voice to interrupt the gentleness of it.

Mushitaro was clearly still a little traumatized by the abrupt exit of his friend, but he was coping, and he was trying his best to get over what was going on for you.

“ Do you think we’ll be in love forever? ” He questioned.

You wore a shocked face, before feeling your eyebrows becoming upturned again. “Of course we will. Look at us, we’re perfect together.”

Mushitaro nodded his head. “Yes, we are. To be more straightforward, what if it’s out of our control? What if something happens to us? Or to you? ”

You took his shoulders and shook them gently. “I’m not gonna leave, I’m not Yokomizo. I promise. You’re safe here, I’m safe here. Please, believe me.”

Mushitaro looked hesitant for a moment, before he looked into your eyes and saw the genuine determination in your them, and he gave in and nodded. “Alright, I believe you. I love you.”

You moved your lips down to lightly kiss his neck. “I love you, too.”

You sat there for a few seconds, not in an awkward silence, Mushitaro was just enjoying the feel of your body heat against his. With the sudden comfort and intimacy, Mushitaro had begun to get a little desperate, and he rolled his hips into yours.

“Oh poor you, I’ve been neglecting you, haven’t I?” You gave a pitiful look, and brought your hand to his.

“Don’t worry. I’ll help you with that.”

Wc: 2.4k

The next part will be posted sometime tomorrow, the chapter will be on Kunikida

#bungou stray dogs #mushitaro oguri #oguri mushitarou #bsd smut #bsd x reader #mushitaro x reader #oguri mushitaro x reader #i love mushitaro

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ephemeralgalaxies · 1 year

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SHADOW AND BONE S2 SPOILERS BELOW (specifically Wylan)

back on my procrastination obsessing-over-comfort-characters flavored shit again here we go

Jack Wolfe did a great job getting me invested in Wylan all over again dear god idk where to even start for this. there's so much to discuss about his character portrayal in the show.

what I wanna talk about in this meta, though, is Wylan as neurodivergent (from a neurodivergent perspective), and I'll start it out by saying I absolutely loved it.

Having Wylan so obviously ND without actually saying it or making him "weird/outcast/gross" is so refreshing in media. Like, from the books (and mid-season of the show) we know that Wylan probably has dyslexia, making it harder for him to read. He shows his discomfort with this fact about himself, how his natural conclusion is that others will treat him less because of it. But something I've always admired about Wylan (and I think a lot of fans forget *squints at trends of infantilizing ND-coded characters*) is how he knows this isn't something to be ashamed of. He knows this doesn't make him any less incredible. But he just can't get it in his head that others would feel the same way. When he first lets Jesper in on how he can't read the passport, he's trusting Jesper with this. He looks around to make sure no one else will hear, anyone he doesn't have this bond with, faith in, yet. And he asks Jesper what the passport says. The look in his eyes is so pleading, so cautious, like this is a test. He's testing Jesper to see how he'll react to this, if he'll just be another name on the list of people Wylan has to learn to let go to keep himself safe.

And yeah, Jesper fucks it up. And he just keeps fucking it up, saying how he didn't know bc "you're just so smart!" (like that "oh, you don't look autistic!" "oh, you're too smart to be disabled" etc) (like ofc, that wasn't Jesper's intentions. But when your father sends you letters like "if you're reading this, then you know how much I want you to come back home," well what are you more likely to believe Jesper is thinking?) And finally, Jesper hits it right: "you have nothing to be ashamed of!" Except... it's pretty hypocritical of him here. So Wylan panics again, he's furious because he really does like this guy but how dare you. And then he sees how hurt Jesper is and oh shit. There's more to this. It's more complicated than "don't be ashamed," there's a commonality here. This isn't pity, it's empathy.

so yeah I absolutely adore how they addressed this in the show given the situations they were placed in (like, if in the books, Wylan had already formed a strong bond with someone in the group, he probably would've done this. But he really hadn't yet, no one had told him that they want to be around him, to understand him. Wylan didn't feel safe enough to test the waters. The situation from the show, however, opened up new possibilities that stay true to his character (imo)).

Though even more than that, just the sheer obvious ND traits that Jack shows with Wylan made me so happy. Like, especially all his tics and stuttering and it didn't feel ingenuine. He doesn't stutter through everything, just super stressful situations (which... is most of his situations in s2 lmao). Like, he's not stuttering when he's just driving in the cart with Jesper or when he's scolding him for seriously, you remember that now??? (like ofc Jesper would remember him in that position I swear-- "you brought me stroopwaffles!" jesper PLS). He holds it together when confronting Kaz about Alby (his voice breaks at first, he pauses, but he works up the mask to look sturdy and immovable. which,,, with kaz brekker he definitely needs). When telling Jesper why he left, he keeps steady. It's not all the time like the stuttering-representation I've seen before (specifically in fanfics).

AND THE HEAD SHAKE TICS!!!!!!! As someone that does that a lot, I was so happy to see him doing these (the excessive blinking as well), especially when he's more shy than stressed because yeah tics can happen any time, but especially any situation with a heightened emotion (and the guy u like telling u that he really wants to try things seriously with u with that soft voice/eyes/smile (this is just becoming me simping for Kit Young), like yeah I'd definitely be feeling a lot. AND IT DOESN'T TURN JESPER AWAY. The only thing that bothered him was that Wylan hadn't responded; he was worried the sentiment wouldn't be returned. But Wylan's actual tics have nothing to do with it.

And having him so sensitive to loud sounds (ironically) makes me so happy because YES!!! YES YES YES OFC. He loves music and chemistry because Wylan controls them. He can control the sound, the amount of it all, he can predict it. And it makes it easier to deal with. He doesn't flinch away from his own explosions (when he knows they're coming, unlike the one that destroyed the Crow Club) -- usually he covers his ears or hides his face ahead of time. He likes the higher piano keys, the flute puffs (forgive me, I am a cellist and a pianist, Idk what the harsher sounds from his flute when we first see him are called technically) when he can control them and their effects. And whenever he does react to other sounds/situations, he leans towards his one comfort-person in the group (Jesper), leaving him lost once he tries to sever that tie after telling Jesper that he can't read. Wylan leans on Tolya more instead (I love that so much for so many reasons) bc while Tolya is less known, he's just,,,,,,, okay I'm sorry but Tolya gives off such comforting vibes, alright? Like he's so amazing. I haven't read the SaB books yet, just SoC, so I saw everyone talking about him like "oh yeah ok. some cool character ppl love. aight we'll see how it goes." aND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH???

Like if I was in Wylan's position, given all the other characters around, I would definitely lean to Tolya for comfort. Also Tolya is a great fighter, like. alsdkfj no focus, Wylan first, Tolya meta later.

ALL THE INFO DUMPS TOO!!!! That urge to inform Jesper despite also wanting to be pissed at him bc pls be interested in this, I wanna tell someone so much. This is so important to me. AND THEN wanting to correct Jesper later when Jesper apologizes, even messing it up himself after hearing how Jesper pronounces it when Wylan knows how it should be bc god the echolalia, the subconscious ND urge to repeat what others said/how they said it/tongue just getting screwed up when u hear something wrong despite knowing how it should be. And then Wylan deciding that it's not important, that he has so much time now to correct Jesper, that he can explain it all and more later under the safety of roof and the morning sun.

I'm not crying you are.

okok I need to eat supper now but pls I love how Jack Wolfe depicts Wylan as ND so bad, it's so validating. Especially with an entire cast full of ND characters (u cannot change my mind that the Crows isn't ND Found Family. I love them so much) and how different everyone is still, showing so many side to neurodiversity. And that it's all valid. That Wylan is incredible and beautiful and brilliant, neurodivergence and all. That someone like him, someone maybe like me, could find a love (romantic, familial, platonic) like Wylan does with the Crows (and now more! since the show allows them to interact with the other series).

Representation matters, people.

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withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick · 4 days

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brief rant on me hating online school scroll if uninterested

i just. fucking hate online college.

im going to start with omfg these people don’t give two shits about their students which nah fucking duh. this is a technical college putting courses online to cut corners and do more courses with less teachers because they’re BROKE. it isn’t ideal and i am completely self taught. let me repeat that. i am COMPLETELY self taught.

i am also working at a tax office. during fucking tax season. my teachers are pretty much completely unsympathetic.

and sometimes im like well maybe im lazy, maybe im not doing enough, and then i have to remind myself: I’m fuckin ADHD. I’m severely under medicated, as in my meds don’t do shit anymore and I currently can’t access new ones. I TRIED to get on disability, because schools CAN get you accommodations for ADHD, and the lady in charge of the office ignored me. I emailed her several times, got the read receipts, and she ignored me. She doesn’t even have an office on campus, so I can’t ask to speak to her.

and it’s not like im dumb or can’t keep up in learning. i know my shit. i ALWAYS know my shit. i just don’t do well with conventional assignments and i don’t do well with the online schooling system because i have no way to separate my personal and school life. assignments just rack up in front of me and im procrastinating on them right fucking now because it intimidates me when its like that, even when i know if I don’t complete these my grade will get worse. i’ve hit a point where the urgency makes me shut down instead of going into overdrive because there’s too much shit going on at once for me to stress myself out, even though i SHOULD be stressing

I’m doing my best. I am, but the odds are stacked against me and my teachers are no help. I feel whiny and bratty saying that because it’s fucking college, ofc teachers don’t give a fuck, but I don’t understand how these people don’t even teach me and can’t find it in themselves to give me some leeway on an assignment I’m turning in late or didn’t even know existed, or straight up giving me a ZERO over an assignment I broke my BACK over because the annotations weren’t the specific format she wanted. im fucking exhausted and so so sick of watching the grades decline because I can’t keep up, and no matter how I try to explain, they’re giving me the polite, roundabout version of “skill issue, tough break, get good” and fucking moving on. i know im a drop of water in the bucket and this means absolutely nothing but its so FRUSTRATING and i’ve got parents breathing down my neck that hate to see C’s, and C’s might be the best I can give them at this point.

i want to just quit at this point honestly, but i wont, because i didnt get to this point just to fucking quit. im going to aim for B’s out of spite, and I’m going to bug the shit out of my teachers, and I’m going to ace my fucking finals just like I did last semester so i can walk out throwing birds over my shoulder.

thanks for coming to my tedtalk or wtv

#college #adhd problems #actually adhd #adhd student #fuck college

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sanjisblackasswife · 11 months

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You know sometimes we just can't do the things that we enjoy, and that doesn't make it so we don't still enjoy them, it just means that we need a little break.

Laziness is usually rare from what I've seen, ofc there are people who are lazy, but the ones that call themselves that usually aren't. Procrastination is your brain telling you that something is stressful and way too much for you at the moment, it doesn't mean you should do the thing, but that little by little or until you feel well enough.

So having a short or long break is what you need sometimes.

thank you.

#just what i needed to read #🦦thank you Anonniieeee #lemme give u a smooch #im taking ur advice btw n its working

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okay-j-hannah · 1 year

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Hii hannah! I'm bout three months late because i had exams going on, well, I still have exams going on but I decided to not procrastinate and just write this.

Thank you so so much for writing my tenth doctor and rory requests. you don't know how much it means that you took time out of your life to write my requests. when I first started watching Doctor who, barely a season in, i stumbled upon your blog and read your dying girl story, i didn't even know anything properly bout doctor's character or other companions but your fic though! it captured doctor's character so well! It was in May I read it and started watching the show and I now always connect that time with doctor who and you and your fics haha.

I got so obsessed that I made this dying girl reader universe in my head with headcanons and stuff and started associating songs to the reader and fic ; i know they are like kinda popular cliche songs but snowman by sia and never be the same by camila cabelo really reminds me of the amy and rorys wedding scene with reader and doctor dancing (was it real or I made that up in my head?) and memory of reader practising mind reading thing and seeing memories of Doctor and she's like who's this beautiful person in his memories and doctor is like that's you love <3 moonlight serenade, spring waltz, we'll meet again, moon river, across the universe are some other songs I associate with them,, you didn't even ask for playlist but here I'm sharing it just because lmao

and then you wrote my ten request and added it dying girl universe, when I tell you actually started screaming from excitement when I saw it! I really wasn't expecting it, i was so so happy! And Idk why but I just feel so honoured that my request was added into the "official" dying girl universe masterlist! and the rory fic too, it was so sweet! you wrote it exactly as what I had in my mind when I sent you request, tysm for that!

Ngl I always checked your page once in a while when you were on break because I just looked forward to your writing so much and in January, around my birthday, found out you were active again and posted my requests and gotta say, best birthday gift even if it technically wasn't lol. I wonder if you've finished twelve's episodes, you mentioned how it is hard to "let go" of a doctor and I completely agree, I finishesed twelfth doctors episodes in December and God was it hard to say goodbye to him, I know I can rewatch but it won't be like first time :'( you know, the "i love my current doctor so much" feeling?

I've started thirteen but it doesn't feel the same, especially without murray gold's music and well, moffat and rtd. so glad that rtd is coming back for new seasons though!

Oh and have you read love is a choice fic on tumblr? it's a mostly eleven but also kinda thirteen x reader multiple parts series and tbh, one of the only fic that made me laugh and cry like dying girl series did. if you haven't i hope you check it out, it's a great read!

Kinda unrelated but can I just say ty to that person who sent you ask related to will turner, i recently watched one of the potc movie for the first time because i thought the will turner guy looked cute from the ask and now ive fallen down a rabbit hole lol I finished your will turner fics and now im searching up tumblr for more will turner x reader, it seems he's my new hyperfixation 😭 anyways ty again to that person and you ofc for the fics, and this is not a official request(it could be ig) but I hope you write second part to the merchant/pirate will fic!

And I've sent you two requests this time too, hope you'll like them enough to write it! I know I've said it lot in this single ask but Again thank you so much for everything and it's great to have you back on here and I hope you enjoyed your break, remember to take them again if you need to <333

My darling, my dearest, my love, you're making my heart so so happy!

I love that you took off with the Dying Girl universe because honestly that's what it became for me while I was writing it. It became so big I knew I could write so much about what happens in between the parts, and your request fit perfectly there.

Thank you for the playlist 😂 it does kind of bring the characters more to life when you associate them with things like songs. And you definitely didn't make up the wedding dancing scene, that happened in Part 6: The Lost Shoes!

I totally understand finding yourself fully immersed in a story, even if it is fanfiction. When that happens to me I just write and post it on here 😅 That's happened with the Dying Girl and the episodic series I started for the Eleventh Doctor and the Samwise Gamgee series and this Mandalorian one I'm starting.

My brain is hardwired to come up with these random tangents to canon stories, and they end up becoming these elaborate fanfictions.

I'm so glad you liked your requested fics! I had a lot of fun writing them. The Domestic fic was so fun to get back into the Dying Girl universe. I wouldn't mind writing more about their in between adventures. Happy belated birthday!

I have not finished twelves episodes - I'm still on his last season. Just like I wrote on our last conversation, I'm terrified of how sad I'll feel when he leaves because ten and eleven were real heartbreakers. I agree, I love him, and I'm so excited you requested something for him.

And I'm also so stoked for the new seasons with RTD and the 60th specials with ✨David Tennant✨ I'll have to finish twelve and thirteen before that comes out at the end of this year.

I haven't read "Love is a Choice" but I immediately looked it up and added it to my likes, so perhaps it'll be the fanfics I read when I try to sleep tonight lol

And I'm sorry... you hadn't seen any of the Pirates of the Caribbean!? I've been watching those movies since I was like seven! It's such a great fandom and Jack Sparrow is such a mood and Will Turner is such a dreamboat.

I'm almost honored that my blog prompted you to watch such an excellent franchise. I also hyperfixate on new characters and fandoms I love. I do have one request in my inbox for Will Turner and I've gotten multiple messages to write a part 2 for A Merchant Sailor, so perhaps when I finish this batch of requests I'll add it to the list.

So do expect more Will Turner fics to come 😘

I love that we have this little pen pal relationship where we just write each other letters 😂 It's honestly really good to hear from you, mysterious anon. I'm happy to have you as a reader and fandom friend.

Thank you for reaching out! I definitely love your requests! It'll just take me a while to get to all of them with my busy schedule, but I will write them in due course.

Have a lovely night and a good morning!

Prologue: The Dying Girl

Part 1: The Sun God

Part 2: The Tonic

Part 3: The Ending Song

Domestic: The Doctor returns to spend a few ‘human’ days with you {Set during Part 3}

Part 4: The Dream

Part 5: The Regeneration

Part 6: The Lost Shoes

Epilogue: The Vanishing Act

Finale: All Of Time And Space

A Merchant Sailor: Pretending to be a merchant, you befriend Will Turner as you keep your pirating a secret, until your brother forces you to reveal the truth

Blacksmith’s Hands: While visiting Tortuga, you find yourself injured and in the capable hands of a shy Will Turner

Lovey Dovey: Jack has never been overjoyed at the thought of you and your boyfriend - especially when you’re kissing on his ship

Sea Salt: On a mission to get you back, more might happen between you two than expected

#tenth doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #twelfth doctor x reader #will turner x reader #okayjhannah question #okayjhannah #anon ask okay j hannah #okayjhannah answer #okay j hannah #hannahbeartalks #fandomfantasia

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runninguplenorahills · 28 days

Note

Lenora you’re back!!!!!💕💞💕💞

How have you been?

Heyyyy✨🌞

I’ve been doing pretty great honestly. I got through my finals and I actually did quite well :)). I didn’t take the biology exam though because holy fuck I can’t even do simple math and we were supposed to do crazy equations, no calculators allowed💀. So yeah, didn’t study at all and woke up in a cold sweat like three days before the exam and quickly set myself on inactive because I would’ve definitely fucking flunked it. But English went great, got one of the best grades out of the entire course for my presentation I was sweating buckets over beforehand, linguistics went well as well and the rest was just pass or fail and fortunately I passed but I’m still waiting on a feedback for my pedagogy portfolio. Speaking of waiting, I spent weeks in February working on my art portfolio and applied for art school and I’m waiting for a response to that, too.

I also finally read “The song of Achilles” but it sadly didn’t earn its place next to my favorites, like, it was actually only three stars for me if I’m really honest. Currently I’m reading “Persuasion” (I’m about half way through) and that books actually pretty great but the first like 80 pages are just like, set up lmao. But after that it quickly gets better!!! I haven’t continued reading in a couple of days though which I should absolutely do soon because the new semester starts in two weeks and then idk how much time I’ll have to read. I’m actually taking British and American literature classes in the new semester which I’m pretty excited about!!!!

Oh boy, I also finally watched s5 of Miraculous and the alternate universe Paris special and the movie and bro, s5 was an absolute dumpster fire…. Actually fucking insane. But the Paris special was kinda entertaining lol, and I can’t lie…. the movie was pretty good. Like… it was honestly great hahahah. I also watched Cars btw! I have watched the first part before but never the rest and then my sister wanted to watch Cars so we did and yeah, Cars is amazing ofc. I also finally watched But I’m a Cheerleader which was all over the okays but it was funny and I loved the ending. I’m trying to remember what else I watched but I don’t remember anything else… hmmm… Oh!! Omg, I watched Christopher Robin and I didn’t not except that movie to be as good as it was. I was in genuine tears over fucking everything and yeah, very enjoyable. I also watched The Sixth Sense which was good, did not see the plot twist coming though, Like, spoiler! I literally remember thinking “oh.. so he survived I guess” when it says “next fall” like a fucking idiot 😭. I don’t think I watched any other movies though.

Wait, I also read the entirety of Jackson’s diary on webtoon and it was a fucking roller coaster.

Other than that I’ve been hanging a lot with my friends, especially those who moved to another city for university. There’s this café we always and in the past two weeks we’ve gone three times and you can borough games to play and we usually play scrabble which is always sm fun!

Oh and holy shit, I turned fucking 20!?!?! Absolutely batshit insane, I cannot believe it.

Also, I just kinda left tumblr very like, impulsively because I had finals coming up and thought it’d be distracting, but also, tumblr tends to suck the life out of me sometimes so I thought taking a break would be worth it either way. After finals where over I then had to work on my art portfolio and I have a huge procrastination problem so I stayed off tumblr because I knew it would make it worse and so I just left and didn’t reply to anyone, which, I’m sorry, I missed you and the other mutuals so much but I also don’t think that many people even noticed that I took a break in the first place. Anyway,I’ll probably dip when Uni starts again as well but I thought it’d be nice to catch up with y’all before that happens.

How have you been doing :))💓💗💓💗💓

#mail to lenora hills #very long very ramble had to guve you all the updates #it’s almost 4 in the morning like… that’s why i took a break from tumblr 💀

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softguarnere · 1 year

Text

Like A Girl (Like A Man)

Shifty Powers x OFC

Chapter 8: What If You Only Open Up?

Summary: “She’s just . . . not my type.”

A/N: Two weeks in a row of titles from Waitress lyrics? Yes, don't mind me, I just love that musical. Bit of a longer update today (because I am procrastinating, everyone act shocked).

Thank you so much to the lovely @liebgotts-lovergirl for letting me use your idea of the little cameos 🫶🏼 If you've also been reading Fire On Fire, you get to spot a little easter egg in this one 😉

Warnings: smoking, drinking, language, period typical attitudes, internalized homophobia

Taglist: @liebgotts-lovergirl @latibvles @mrs-murder-daddy @lieutenant-speirs

England, 1944

Shifty always says that going into town with bloused pants and shiny jump wings makes him feel ten feet tall and bulletproof. Looking at her reflection, Zenie can understand what he’s talking about.

When she first cut her hair she had been shocked that she hadn’t looked like anyone but herself – well, herself, but with short hair. Now though, she looks like a paratrooper. A dark-haired GI ready to swagger into town and cause some trouble just like everyone else. And looking like a paratrooper makes her feel like a paratrooper. For the first time in a very long time, she feels proud; she likes herself.

Right up until the second that she steps onto the street.

“Driver!”

Shit. She cringes before turning around to salute Captain Sobel. He’s swaggering with even more confidence than she had just been.

“I thought I revoked your weekend pass.”

“No, Sir.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Her mouth goes dry. She’s done nothing wrong, except the obvious thing that she’s always doing wrong. But nothing to have her pass revoked. After all, she knows how to keep her head down and blend in with the crowd.

“Captain Sobel, Sir!” A familiar voice calls out. Bill offers Sobel a sharp salute before glaring at her. “There a problem here?”

Sobel casts his own glare toward her. “Private Driver is attempting to leave without a weekend pass.”

“That so?” Bill looks her up and down, and she has to bite the inside of her cheek. She’s good at looking scared and demoralized after all her years of experience. Finally, Guarnere nods, tearing his eyes away from her and giving the captain a serious nod. “Don’t worry, Sir. I’ll take care of him.”

“What will you do?”

He considers it a moment, bobbing his head from side to side. “I think latrine duty will teach him a nice lesson.”

“Very good.” Sobel’s dark eyes dart between them, unsuspecting. “Very good,” he repeats, and then, he’s gone.

When he’s out of earshot, Zenie drops the act. “Saved my ass.”

“When am I not?” Bill claps her on the shoulder. His hand stays there, stopping her as he squints at her. “Did you really lose your pass?”

Scoffing, she rolls her eyes. “What would I have lost it over?”

“Good point. You ready to go then?”

“I don’t have to clean the latrines first?” It’s hard to keep her face neutral when she teases him. At least Bill also breaks into a smile; for once, she’s on the same page of the joke instead of being the butt of it.

Bill gives her shoulder a light shove. “Get outta here before I really make ya clean the latrines.”

The pub has already come to life by the time that they arrive. Music swings soldiers and women across the dance floors in bright swirls of color and flashes of smiles. Blotches of laughter ring out from different parts of the building as people say things they won’t remember by morning and try to feel alive while they can. After all, the tension that something is going to be happening soon is inescapable. Those of them who grew up with fathers that spoke in dark, hushed tones about the Great War are trying to live fast and free while they can.

“Hey look, chaps! Screaming Eagles!” A Brit jeers as Zenie and Bill weave between clumps of people in the crowd. “What’s the eagle screaming?”

“Help! Help!” His friends cry.

If any other Easy men were within earshot, fists would have been flying within seconds. The pub is so rowdy that hardly anyone hears them. Instead, Zenie focuses on the familiar laughter and voices coming from a group of tables across the room.

The man voted Easy Company’s most handsome – Don Malarkey himself – is standing atop a chair, singing his heart out while a small cluster of Toccoa men watch. He points to Zenie and Bill as they approach, a smile spreading across his face, making the lyrics of his song stumble to a close.

“Aye, Tommy Boy! Didn’tcha say you’re Irish?”

Zenie scratches the back of her neck. “Only half.”

Malarkey waves his hand in dismissal. “Still Irish. Ya know any of the good songs?”

“Please say no,” Skip Muck begs. From his seat, he reaches up and tugs on the leg of Malarkey’s trousers, trying to coax his friend off the table. “He hasn’t stopped singing since he got that first beer in him.”

A glass bangs against the table like a gavel as Luz downs the last of his drink, sets aside his glass, and stands in one seemingly fluid motion as he waves a few Easy men closer to the group. “Even if he does know them, he’s busy right now. Business to attend to.”

Zenie raises her eyebrows. “Business?”

“Oh-ho-ho!” Bill slaps her on the back, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. “I forgot about the comin’ of age ceremony.”

Before Zenie can ask what that’s supposed to mean, applause, cheers, and whistles break out across the pub as excitement happens on the dance floor. Like the rest of the men, Zenie steps forward, craning her neck to catch a glimpse of whatever is happening. From the blur of colors, it looks like a Jitterbug competition has broken out.

Except it’s not a competition – not really. Most people vacate the dance floor in order to watch a pretty local girl and her partner jive to the music. Well, most of the men are just watching the girl. She’s so lively that her partner fades into the background a bit, even though he’s every bit as talented.

The first few times that they got to watch them, Zenie felt . . . strange. She was dressed like a man and standing among men as they all vied for a glimpse of the beautiful girl and her infectious energy. From within her disguise, Zenie had been able to watch just like the others, without worrying about looking too long or in a way that might not be proper.

Yet she hadn’t been able to focus on the dancing like she should. Her eyes wandered to her friends, watching them watch the dancer. And inevitably, they always came back to Shifty, making her heart feel like it was being squeezed in someone’s fist. If she was here as herself – as one of the lipsticked, glossy-haired girls with laughs like bells and smiles to die for – would they look at her that way? With desire in their eyes?

Most people are drawn to the edges of the dance floor like magnets, but a few E Company men stay, taking advantage of seats opening up as they plop down into a small group. Half of them are looking at her with serious expressions, and half of them are doing a rotten job hiding their grins. Luz motions for her to take a seat.

“Uh oh.” Zenie laughs, trying to keep her voice casual despite the dryness taking over her throat. She’s come home to find serious faces waiting for her so they can deliver a lecture too many times. These are people she knows, trusts, cares for, but that doesn’t stop the heat of panic from washing over her. “Have I done something wrong?”

“Nah.” McClung waves a hand. He slides her a beer. She takes it, thankful for something to calm her nerves. “More like we’re helping you out with something you haven’t done.”

Skip laughs, then clears his throat as he rearranges his face before he continues, “Tommy, it’s come to the collective attention of the company that you’re a little, uh . . . How should we put it?”

“Inexperienced,” Toye offers.

“A virgin,” Bill deadpans. If he notices the way that she nearly chokes on her drink, he doesn’t comment on it.

“You see Tommy, most of the men without girls back home have been getting a lot of practice in ever since we came to England,” Luz says, picking up the thread of wherever this spiel is heading. He nods towards Bill. “Or in the case of Hanky-Panky Louis here, practice even with a girl back home.”

The others laugh. Bill only shrugs. Zenie feels like she wants to disappear before whatever is about to happen can take place.

“Now you, Tommy, are a rare case,” Skip notes. “You’ve never mentioned any girl back home.”

“Never even seen him with a pin-up,” Skinny Sisk adds helpfully.

McClung shakes his head in dismay. “You don’t even carry around a Lucky Strike or Chesterfield box like some of us.”

“Yeah, they can’t all be as lucky as me,” Bill smirks as he elbows her. “They gotta carry around a box to look at girls, but I danced with a Chesterfield model a couple weeks ago.”

Toye snickers. “Yeah right.”

“Honest!”

“Bill, if you had danced with a Chesterfield model, you wouldn’t be sitting here with us right now.”

“Swear to God. Right in this very bar. Everybody saw.” Bill looks between a few of them, pointing an accusing finger. “You were there!”

Ah, yes. The Chesterfield model. She had been beautiful. And feisty.

But it’s funnier to watch Bill squirm.

“Did we?” Zenie glances at Luz, knowing that he’s thinking the same thing. “I don’t recall . . .”

“Tommy! You were there!”

“Aaaanyways,” Luz continues. “As your friends, we have decided that it is our job – nay, our duty – to help you out.” Luz removes something from his pocket and holds it close. “After much research, deliberation, and observation, we have selected what we believe to be the perfect pin-up to remind you what you’re fighting for.” He slides the paper across the table to where she’s sitting.

It stays there, Zenie staring down at it while everyone stares at her.

She doesn’t carry pin-ups like the others for several reasons – the most obvious one being that if her secret were found out and she was carrying around the tantalizing pictures, well . . . Whatever happened to her would probably be much worse.

Because she’s known for quite some time that men and women are attractive in their own ways, even if she’s felt that way about so few of them. (Lucy Jordan and Elijah Woodard back home, Shifty since joining up.) And she’s gone through cycles of repressing and coming to terms with whatever it all might mean about her.

Now here they are, pushing a pin-up at her like she’s one of the men.

“Go on. Look at it!” Skinny urges.

Slowly, Zenie takes the folded-up ad from the table. She smiles, for their sakes, while she opens it and –

Stares down into the all too familiar face of a beautiful woman with dark hair dressed in red, white, and blue. She’s telling people to go buy war bonds, but in this moment, Zenie feels less patriotic than ever.

I’m practically swimming in the stuff after the contract I signed with that last modeling gig. Have you seen it? Beckie had asked that day back in the diner before giving her a signed copy of the same ad.

“Wow,” Zenie fumbles. “I don’t know what to say . . .”

Luz lets out a yelp as Toye elbows him. “I told you he wouldn’t be into Rebecca Sadowski.”

“You don’t like it?” Skinny is already leaning across the table. “’Cause I’ll gladly take the future Mrs Sisk home with me – “

Skinny’s words almost make her cringe. She has to repress a shudder. If they knew Beckie like she did, would they hate her too?

“She’s just . . . not my type.” This earns an intrigued exclamation. At least it was the truth.

“Well then what is your type? So we know for next time?”

Lucy had been pretty. And sweet. A good listener, at a time when no one else seemed to pay second – or even first – thought to anything Zenie said. She was the complete opposite of Beckie.

“Blondes.”

“The man has good taste!” Skinny proclaims, causing the rest to laugh.

That seems to mark the end of it. Conversations are stuck up again as Skinny proudly shows off his new pin-up. Bill is trying to convince Toye that Yes, Joe, the Chesterfield model was real, and Malarkey starts trying to remember the words to an old Irish drinking song that only he seems to know.

The pub feels like the opposite of the ship that brought them from America. Whereas that had been a hot and anxious voyage, Zenie had felt okay because she was surrounded by people she thought of as friends. But the pub suddenly feels hot, she’s surrounded by people that make her feel exposed, and her oldest friend from childhood has reappeared in a way that makes her feel sick and angry all at once.

A hand on her shoulder brings her out of her head.

“Osigwosg tsadanta?” Shifty asks. Do you feel well?

“I just need some air.” She pushes her way out of the pub before anyone can ask where she’s going.

The cool night air that greets her is a stark contrast to the atmosphere she left behind. Inside it had felt like she was overheating. Out here in the dark, empty street, it should feel lonely. Instead, it feels like she can catch her breath.

She still doesn’t like smoking. The pack she keeps in her pocket is mostly for her friends, so she can be of use if they forget their own cigarettes. Now though, they’re for her; something to occupy her mind for a minute while she calms down.

“Eha.” She checks all her pockets again and again. Her lighter is gone. Probably back in the stable that she’s been quartering in, shoved into her bag. Her cigarette dangles uselessly from her lips as she leans against the wall of the building.

“Need a light?” From somewhere near the doorway of the pub, Shifty steps out of the forward, a ray of sunlight appearing in the darkness like the first streaks of dawn lighting the horizon over the mountains back home.

He’s done a cool trick a couple of times. He can take his lighter by the lid, flip it open, strike it, and light a cigarette all in one cool, fluid motion. Zenie has tried to copy it a few times, never with any success. He does it now, and when the flame appears, Zenie leans towards it, touching the end of her cigarette to the lighter and inhaling the smoke before nodding and thanking him.

Shifty lights his own cigarette. He leans back against the wall in a similar posture. They’re both staring off into the darkness, yet somehow, Zenie can’t shake the feeling that he keeps looking at her from the corner of his eye. She should know, because she’s doing the same thing to him; she’s always trying to catch a glimpse of the sun without being blinded by it.

After a few moments, Shifty lets the hand holding his cigarette drop to his side. He exhales a stream of smoke and turns his head slightly, half looking at her, half looking straight ahead. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

A beat of silence passes as he hesitates. Shifty is an expert marksman – he’s trying to find the most direct way to his target.

“Back inside,” he begins. Stopping, he takes a little breath, thinking before he starts again. “Back inside, when they gave you the pin-up of that model . . . Is the reason that you got so uncomfortable because . . . because you’re a girl?”

Zenie has never been shot, but she imagines that this is what it feels like. Her heart freezes, plummets into the pit of her stomach, and starts hammering away in double time all at once. Shifty is looking at her head on, his eyes intent and lips pressed thin as he waits for her to answer. No – waits to see how she’ll react. Waits to see if she’ll give herself away.

As usual, he’s hit his mark with perfection.

“What?” She tries hard to keep her voice incredulous, like this is the most ridiculous accusation she’s ever heard.

For a second, she thinks it works, because Shifty’s eyes get wide and he takes half a step back. But then he gets his bearings and looks around, making sure no one else is listening before he leans closer. In the mostly dark atmosphere of the street, she can just make out the little crease between his eyebrows.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend.”

Somehow, that’s all it takes to disarm her. She’s always hated lying to him. And hasn’t she thought to herself at least a dozen times that things would be easier if only he knew the truth?

She sighs, flicking ashes from the end of her cigarette. In her imagination, having Shifty know made things easier. But she can’t look at him. She also can’t bring herself to look away. Instead she pinches the bridge of her nose. “How long have you known?”

“Long time. Since Toccoa.”

“Toccoa? How – ?”

“You remember how you, me, an’ Bill used to try to teach each other our languages?” When she nods, he mirrors the motion. “One time he asked you somethin’ about your brother. You said ‘Matthew agido’i’ instead of ‘Matthew tsusdalnvtsi.’”

Agido’i: my sibling of the opposite gender. If Zenie were really Tommy, if she were really a man, she would have used the word tsusdalnvtsi – the specific word boys use to talk about their brothers.

She’s been so used to the way she speaks and the word choices that she uses that a simple slip of the tongue gave her away. And if she messed up her secret that easily, there’s no telling what else she may have accidentally admitted to. She can’t help but face palm as Shifty continues.

“I thought it was a strange thing to say. I was gonna correct you, but I didn’t. I dunno, somethin’ told me not to. Then I started payin’ a little more attention, and I came to realize . . . Or I thought, anyway, that you’ve been disguisin’ yourself as a man to join the Airborne.”

Hands shaking, Zenie lifts her cigarette and tags a long drag. There’s no use lying to him. She should feel elated that she doesn’t have to lie to someone that she cares so much about.

“You’re right,” her voice is barely a whisper. It comes out higher, in her natural register instead of the slightly deeper tone she adopted when her charade began. Somehow, Shifty seems to hear her. Unlike when Gene confronted her, she can’t find the strength to act defiant and untouched. “What are you gonna do?”

Shifty blinks, his face falling. “What? No, I’m not turnin’ you in or anythin’! I just – “ He pauses to inhale deeply from his own cigarette. “I just thought it might be easier for you if you knew that you’ve got someone in your corner.”

Now there are two people in her corner. Two people who she trusts. At least she knows one of them trusts her.

“Aren’t you mad? That I – “ A vague gesture is really all she can do to describe what’s happened.

Shifty shakes his head. “No. Why would I be mad?”

“I lied,” Zenie answers. “Because I’m a liar.”

“You’re not a liar, you’re . . .” The crease appears between his eyebrows again as he scrunches them together, thinking. “I’m sure there’s a reason that you did what you’ve done. What you’ve been doin’. Pretty brave, considerin’ . . .” Everything that could go wrong, he doesn’t have to finish.

He’s the second person to learn her secret and the second person to call her brave. She tries to smile. It’s probably more of a grimace, but Shifty must get the idea, because he grins at her.

At her, what a thought. Not Tommy. He’s known this whole time, but this is the first time that she feels like he’s seeing Zenie when he looks at her.

“You can trust me,” he promises her.

“I do.” Part of her wants to grab his hand and hold on for dear life. She settles for tilting her head and leaning in a bit closer instead. “What do you want to know?”

Because if he asks, she’ll tell him everything.

#there is one line in here that made me scream into my pillow #gold star if you can spot which one #shifty powers x ofc #shifty powers #shifty powers x original female character #oc zenie mcglamery #my writing #band of brothers #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers x oc #hbo war #hbo war fanfic #like a girl (like a man)

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koqabear · 8 months

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i hope no one takes this the wrong way bc its got no ill intent but- ive never viewed writers as writing machines (nobody should!!) and more often than not i expect them to get stuck sometimes , not because im undermining them or anything, but idk a lot of writers (at least ones i interact with) are uni students like me so i feel like its just the norm to get writers block and/or periods of procrastination, in fact, i hope any writers going thru that rn don't pressure themselves too hard to write ☹️ you on the other hand... 😭 i definitely do not view u as a machine or writing generator do not get me wrong,, but u definitely are SO big brained and creative the way you post formatted fics at such a consistent rate and they're all so well thought of,, none of them are what i would consider basic in terms of trope n plot. swear it feels like mini novel after mini novel lol

this is meant to be a compliment of how on top of the game u are ,, not trying to put you on a pedestal and put the pressure on & overwhelm u!!

this differntiates u from other writers in the best way possible. not sure if u are familiar with nctblr writers but on the top god tier untouchable level of tumblr writers lies you n neopuppy ☺️ i mentally have an organization system i associate writers with, and although its not necessarily a ranking or hierarchy, that tier is the only "tier" there is that i consider above everyone else whom i don't "rank" in anyway, but rather group and categorize based on writing styles n content! yall just stand out that much :')

idk if this made any sense im sick n i just took a nyquil thats starting to kick in T_T apologies this ask is kinda messy n ugly

-dvp anon🫡

OHHHH???! THIS IS SO -@;!:@:! ??!!!!! SUCH AN INSANE (/pos) THING TO SAY IM A LITTLE SPEECHLESS RN??

i feel like the reason i’ve been posting so much is bc i’ve been on break and i’ve been trying to take advantage of this free time i have! once classes start i’m scared that i won’t have as much time/opportunities to write, so that’s kinda why i’ve been jumping on like. every idea i get ever. (but then again, i realize now that throughout this year i was able to handle both my assignments and fics. i’m a little weird sorry.)

but omg. you can’t say stuff like that to me like ofc i’m familiar with nctblr writers 😭😭😭 you thinking that i belong anywhere near the tier neopuppy is at is a little insane to me my jaw dropped when i read that alsndks

i hope you rest and get better soon!!! thank you for unleashing such an insane compliment on me omgldjsk

#i blame it on my fixation #on both writing and txt #a horrible combo rlly #rambles #koqabear asks #dvp anon!#LMAO that’s such a funny thing to tag srry #speaking of tags. i need to organize them.#i need to do a revamp of this blog like srsly

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steele-soulmate · 2 months

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Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 584, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage) consensual impregnation, bareback, impregnation kink, creampies, terrorist attacks (shootings) hit and run pedestrian accident, precipitous labor, neonatal death, abandoned baby, child intoxication, death of a minor character

WORDS: 1158

“Thank goodness today was the last day of school!” Katie bemoaned, slouching backwards into her car seat. “What are we going to do this summer, anyways?”

“The triplets’ first birthday’s on the thirteenth of September!” I reminded her in a gentle tone of voice. “So naturally, a little get together will be held for them- we will invite Daddy’s sisters and Mommy’s brothers and sister and little girl and her daddies and we will ask for donations made out to Superheroes Love Heroes.”

“And will there be smash cakies?” Katie continued to prattle on.

“I do think so, yes probably!” I answered her, removing the now full bag from my milk pump and handing it over to my daughter to be sealed. I then fitted a fresh baggie onto the milk pump before relaxing into my throne of pillows once more. Mittens was curled up to my side, purring loudly as she took a kitty nap, totally at peace as Primrose tussled with one of Daisy’s doggie toys under the bed.

THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD went Jack Sparrow and Daisy, the two Ratajczyk critters playing a rather rambunctious game of tag up and down the stairs.

“Are we doing anything else this summer?” Katie asked me, her crossed legged position on the bed that I shared with my husband relaxed and happy.“You and Elizabeth will spend two weeks away at the Great Wolf Lodge summer camp,” I reminded her with a soft hum. “And you both are also signed up for a week pf day camp down at the lakes in July. And rehersals for Ken Anderson’s latest musical. Remember, mo stór?”

“Oh, right!” she brightened up, the smile on her face almost infectious. “I can’t wait!”“I would imagine so!” I removed another baggie of mommy milk from my breast pump, handing it over to Katie to seal before fitting a fresh baggie onto the machine and leaning back. “Gramercy.”“Bù kèqì, mommy!” she chirped, snugging herself into my side. “What will you and daddy and the babies do while Lizz Lizz, myself and our American Girl dollies are at camp?”

“Well-” Here, I felt my face heat up, knowing perfectly well what trouble my handsome silver daddy and I would get into, but didn’t want to shatter her sense of childlike innocence. “Your father and I both have many little projects around the house that we have both been procrastinating on. I do think that with you girls out of the house, we can dump the babies at Mr. James’ and Mr. Aaron’s house with little girl.”

“Speaking of little girl, she turns five years old this year!” Katie smacked her hands against her cheeks in a startled look. “Mommy, little girl won’t be so little anymore!”

“Yes, but no matter what- little girl will always be her mommy’s little girl!” I frowned, passing off yet another full baggie of mommy milk.

“Makes sense,” she shrugged, looking up at a muffled curse, which turned out to be Peter having his legs rammed into by Daisy, only doing doggie zoomies things.

“My love, are you alright?” I called out as he limped into our bedroom, the three tiny triplets curled up into his burly chest. “Daisy, you should be ashamed of yourself!”

The mixed breed mutt let out an apologetic whine before slinking off with her ears flattened to her head and her tail tucked in between her hind legs. The Doberman/ mastiff mix understood that she had just been naughty, and was now trying to be back in the family’s good graces again.

“You need to be careful Daisy!” I gently chided her. “Only imagine if you accidently plow into one of the babies and seriously hurt them!”

Mittens opened one eye and just said MEOW, as though saying not on my watch!

Primrose let out a skunkish chitter before volting herself from underneath the bed, skidding across the floor and then leaping onto Daisy. The mild tempered dog took a startled step backwards before quickly submitting to her newfound role to her not a puppy’s throne, laying down in the corner as she eyeballed the fluffy black and white cat, who had puffed herself up as she meandered up to the large breed dog.

MEOW

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the pissy cat started to bap the dog’s nose over and over again, hissing furiously all the while doing so.

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS

Just at that very moment, Baby Teddy let out an extremely violent sneeze, and I noticed a tiny dribble of blood beginning to dribble out from his tiny baby nostril.

Wah… wah… wah… whimpered Baby Teddy before erupting into a sudden WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… screamed Baby Mattie, both babies screaming their heads off as Baby Jojo slept on as only an extremely sleepy little almost one year old baby could do.

“Jesus-” Peter swore, handing Baby Mattie and Baby Jojo to tend to his son’s bloody nose. “Hey hey hey there now Baby Teddy- do you have a drippy nosies?”

HIC

I looked over at the sweet baby boy, who had his nose tightly plugged by his father.

HIC

The tiny redheaded baby’s hiccups were quickly interpressed in between screams.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH… HIC

“It’s okay Baby Teddy, it’s okay,” he murmured as he bounced his son gently in his arms. “Can you please stop crying now?”

Mo stór, my dear, Irish Gaelic Gramercy, thank you, old French? Bù kèqì, you’re welcome, Chinese

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@rock-a-noodle

@ch3rry-c01a

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dairy-farmer · 4 months

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So I've recently made a new AO3 account (completely separate from my main one, different email and everything lmao) bc I want to start writing porn, and I was wondering if I could have your permission to use some of your asks as like, prompts or ideas? Especially ones that were my own (this is PP!Tim Anon btw, and I've sent in. A lot of asks without signing them off as that, like I could make an entire list and it would probably hit double digits of which asks you've gotten that were mine lmao)!! I would ofc credit you and your blog! I don't know how to imbed links to the individual asks (I'll still try but I can't promise anything lmao), but I'll at least mention your Tumblr name and AO3 account!

I really wanna try my hand at some random, filthy oneshots without a bunch of world building or context, bc that's something I tend to get hung up on in my writing, and I wanna stick to some short and sweet smut oneshots about Tim being a pregnant, underage nympho slut, or a puppy factory, or a cocksleeve for the rogues of Gotham and their goons, all that good stuff!!

On that thought tho, do you have any pieces of advice for like, consistent writing, or motivation to write? Bc that's my biggest struggle tbh is sitting down to start writing. Usually once I start I can churn out a couple thousand words in one sitting, but I gotta start first, ya know? Any words of wisdom would mean a lot ❤️❤️❤️

answered out of order:

yes of course❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!!!!!! you don't believe how happy that makes me to hear!!!! so many of the asks i get sent are just so brilliant and well done and it would make me so beyond happy to know people started writing or got inspired to write out their ideas!!! and i'm sure that people who submitted other posts you get inspiration from would love to see others expand further on their asks ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!

one shots are a really great way to really get back into a sort of groove of writing because it can be shorter, the plot may be not as dense or complex as something from a multichap (though you can also write VERY long one shots that are incredibly detailed too), and it can be mainly composed of "fun" writing in the sense that you don't have to do buildup for bigger things like you would in longer multichaps or those that are heavily plot driven. i totally get struggling to get motivation to write, for me it was always like i had to wait for my brain to be turned "on" or in a working mode for me to get any writing for my fics done which meant it usually only happened when i was studying for exams or doing projects for school. however for me that meant when i was in the 'off season' like breaks from school it meant that even though i had time, i no longer had motivation to write. that's something i'm still working to break myself out of and i think one think that is pretty effective is thinking of a scene or piece of dialogue i'm excited to write and look forward to getting to so it motivates to write to reach it. that works sometimes, other times i think of a reward i'll get myself once i finally finish. something like candy or some snack or food i don't often get or go out of my way to get. and another thing that works for me sometimes is basically planning the fic, for a short one shot the major bullet points of what happen would be a short list and so it would pretty much trick your brain into thinking 'wow a short task list i can do all of these pretty quickly/complete them without too much hassel or procrastination!'.

ultimately i think writing one shots takes a lot of pressure off since as a single chapter there's basically no further commitment needed like it would during a multi chapter fic which can be very relieving for people who get easily stressed or pressured by commitments with no hard deadline.

im very happy to hear you'll be expanding on your tim ideas and look forward to them!!!!!! also if you need any help with embedding on aow the reference collection on ao3 is really helpful and its where i learned to embed links with this tutorial ❤️❤️❤️❤️

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

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