#well you all seemed to like the human wheeljack design and i had a red optic there and it’s not like i was gonna use that anywhere else-

[earthstellar]

My TFP Humanformers Headcanons: With Pictures This Time

Originally posted here, but that’s all text only.

In my defence, I studied fashion at university level for two years, so this post was inevitable.

Optimus Prime - James Dean Style, aka “Hot Dad” 

Optimus would probably love doing the research to determine human styles and what he likes best. 

I can picture him doing a 1950s inspired look, more Greaser than stuffy suits, but in a more James Dean way and not John Travolta in Grease kind of way if he needed to go undercover as Jack’s dad or something.

He’d be a bit older than James Dean was in the above photo, definitely in his 30s at the youngest. Would still have silver mixed in with his black hair, to replicate the silver details on his helm. He doesn’t smoke, but might chew on a pen cap every now and then without thinking about it. 

Ultra Magnus - Vittorio de Sica - Classic Italian Suit Chic

When doing research into human styles, Optimus showed him a Hermes magazine and some European business style guides from GQ and decided he liked the formal suit look. I imagine he’d have a very Italian look to him, as he might be wearing an Italian or Continental style suit. 

For some reason, Magnus as a 40 or 50 year old stern and stylish Italian guy just works really well. He’d be extremely well dressed, well groomed, would still demand authority, and I imagine him looking like Vittorio de Sica, pictured above. 

He would perhaps use his holoform to accompany Fowler in discussions with some military superiors.

Initially, he wanted to pick a military style uniform for his holoform, and Fowler had to explain to him in detail why that wasn’t an acceptable thing to do. So he went for chic lawyer instead.

Ratchet - Old War Vet + What He Thinks is Nevada Style: George Gabby Hayes

Ratchet would literally just be my dad or any of his old war buddies, possibly with a mobility aid like a cane or walking stick because that seems to be very popular amongst my dad and his friends. (To quote my father: “I can walk with it and I can beat people with it, so it works fine for me, don’t touch me dammit I can get up by myself.”) 

I get the feeling he’d approach designing his holoform from a logical angle, wanting to fit in with the locals to avoid detection. Unfortunately, this meant he found a bunch of old Western movies online when looking up style inspiration, and decided that this was probably the best look to go for since all these movies were filmed in Nevada, so surely this would be familiar to people, right? (Wrong.) 

He’d be tough and wrinkly, but give those precious old man smiles with big twinkling eyes that shine so brightly against his old weathered skin, and that alone would get him get out of trouble with the authorities-- Or helps him get the others out of trouble. He would play the “I’m just an old person, what do you want from me” card and he would succeed. Then he’d turn around and get mad that everyone treats him like he’s old, lmao.

Arcee - Tori Amos: Late 1990s/2000s Casual 

Arcee would go for 20s-30s in terms of age, motorcyclist, we already see this on screen every now and then. I think they would estimate for approximate human age relative to one another’s Cybertronian age, so this works as Arcee seems to be younger than the rest. 

I picture her outside of her motorcycle gear in a very late 90s/early 2000s style look, casual but stylish. It would throw people off because she’s so much mature than what people might assume, which gives her an edge in conversation.

Her cover story could be that she’s Jack’s cousin, or maybe a friend of his mom’s, depending on what the mission/situation is. Could also possibly say that she’s one of Jack’s co-workers if need be. She’d probably redesign her holoform to have red hair just to troll Jack (the classmate he has a crush on is a redhead). 

Bulkhead - Mark Sagato + 1990s Alt Rock Gear 

I can easily picture Bulkhead’s holoform looking similar to Mark Sagato, pictured above, who is a former Sumo wrestler and a film actor. 

He’d be rocking a green cargo jacket layered with a plaid flannel shirt over a plain white tee or a band t-shirt and blue jeans with black steel toe boots, possibly with a workman’s tool belt. His cover story could be that he’s Miko’s uncle visiting from Japan! 

I imagine a very casual 90s alternative rock meets almost-lumberjack look for him, to match Miko a bit. He’d probably have some ribbon wristbands from live shows/gigs up his arm, because Miko would absolutely encourage accessorising.

Wheeljack - Billy Idol + Specifically Grunge Punk 

Wheeljack would be every single old school dude in the grunge punk scene that I’ve ever met. He’d look like an older Billy Idol, but only if you imagine what that would look like, not like, the actually currently old Billy Idol. 

Older guy, skinny but tough, jean jacket covered in patches and buttons and pins, black jeans held together with random string sewn in like embroidery thread, a pair of Converse so old that they might be from the 70s original line. Grey bandana also covered in pins around his head and another around his neck. He would also have ribbon wristbands from shows, courtesy of Miko’s style advice.

Bumblebee - Fred Olande: 1995 Was a Great Year for Skateboarding

Bumblebee would be a young guy, maybe even late teens/early 20s, massively baggy yellow hoodie with a black jean vest over the top like a lot of young guys wore in the 90s back when I wasn’t a dinosaur myself. Jeans that are pale from being worn/washed too many times, threadbare around the knees, wearing some kind of skateboarding shoe. I imagine him wearing a beanie as well. Every pocket is full of graffiti pens for the skatepark and his phone screen is cracked.

Raf would help him with his holoform details, and I can picture him basing his look off of some of Raf’s family photos, so he’d definitely be Mexican/Latinx. His cover story could be that he’s Raf’s cousin visiting from a border town or Mexico, and his excuse for not speaking would simply be that he doesn’t know that much English, so that would work out perfectly.

Smokescreen - 1970s/1980s Sports Gear Forever 

Smokescreen would inevitably try to go for a 1970s/80s movie inspired sporty look, and would probably look to be about in his late teens/early 20s.

Think classic white Nikes, very sporty 80s style with a white and blue puffy jacket (or sweat shirt) and red fabric wristbands. If anyone has a mullet or a feathered hair style, it’s gonna be Smokescreen. His tank top is Adidas, and his sweatpants are also Adidas.

Unfortunately, he then discovers that shorts exist, and cycles between the classic Butterick patterns above, depending on the mission/who he is trying to impress that day. 

(I won’t lie, I did the shorts over sweatpants thing well into the 90s. Yes, I was made fun of.) 

#humanformers #transformers prime #tfp #wheeljack #bulkhead #optimus prime #ratchet #bumblebee #arcee #ultra magnus #maccadam

[mk-wizard]

Top 10 Handsomest Transformers (by Transformer standards)

Hello, dear fans.

I decided to do a lighthearted and insightful post on Transformer culture. Specifically, one we don’t talk about a lot: beauty standards. While we as fans have a most popular list, if we were to look at the beauty standards of Transformers namely for men, we would be very surprised at who qualifies as handsome and who is not. After a lot of research, I made of a top ten list of the handsomest mechs according to Transformer standards and why they qualify.

I must warn in advance that who will be on the list may shock you even more than who won’t be.

1- Wheeljack - Like I warned, you will be surprised by who qualifies as handsome by Transformer standards. Since the days of G1, Wheeljack is considered as a hunk because he is so mechanical looking. Among Transformers, the more mechanical a mech (man) looks, the more virile he is considered though there are exceptions as we shall see. And no one looks more robotic than this jovial mad scientist especially with those things on his head. Hasbro seems to recognise and accept that he’s a looker too hence why his design has gotten handsomer and manlier over the years namely with the sophisticated looking beard and muscles. So after all this time, Jack’s had the best of both worlds.

2- Skywarp - Though the seekers all look the same to us, to Transformers, they each look distinct and Skywarp is considered as the handsome one due to his colouring, his finish and having the most athletic frame. Plus, even his face is considered as handsome by Transformer standards as he is always presented with a big grin with bright white teeth. In fact, he even managed to charm the Autobot Arcee at one time and I doubt she’s the only femme he managed to swoon.

3- Beast Wars Megatron - Speaking of purple mechs with great teeth, Megatron from Beast Wars may have been hateable, but he was very handsome by Transformer standards and might I add, well dressed to them. I guess being raised in the mafia taught taught him how to dress well and present yourself like a gentleman. And even Megatron’s voice was to his credit as smooth as his finish and even the way he would say his catchphrase “yes” had a sexy tone to it. Sadly, once he became a dragon and everything after, he became disfigured. Oh well. At least he still had his smooth voice.

4- Jazz - Like Wheeljack, Jazz was always one of the lookers since the days of G1 for the same reasons as the mad genius. His helm and his visor make him look like a stylish Robocop. Plus, his black and white armour are not a far cry from a tuxedo. If that’s not enough, he has the personality to sell it all.

5- Knockout - While he is not as mechanical looking as the others in this list, he qualifies as handsome for being a trend setter and because of how well he maintains himself. It seems constant buffing and picking an alt mode that flatters his body type paid off. Plus, the hairstyle styled helm makes the look complete. Also, those brows adorning his dark optics are so well trimmed, they make me jealous. When you know how to dress and groom yourself this well, it will pay off.

6- Rodimus Prime aka Hotrod - While becoming promoted to Prime made him look more mature, it actually added to his looks. Like Knockout, Rodimus isn’t very mechanical looking which is to be expected because he has the doll body type, but in his case, it makes him look like a superhero. And we tend to forget that he sported flames first. His red and gold colouring along with those wings also elevate his look making him appear as royalty. I guess you could say that among the Autobot, he would be “Prime Charming”.

7- Alpha Trion - I never said that the most handsome would only be among the young. Alpha Trion’s wizard like appearance proves to what extent age is just a number even among Transformers. Like Rodimus, he has the doll body type hence why he can grow facial hair as only dolls can grow hair at all. Plus, he sports a cape and a knight style armour which gives him a rather romantic appearance. While it may seem like an odd choice to us, among Transformers, Alpha Trion would be considered as what many mechs hope to look like in their silver years.

8- Leader-1 - This GoBot would be considered as the Dwayne Johnson of Transformers as he has the best of both the mechanical and doll like features. He has the face of an action figure, the body of an athlete and an armour that is well ahead of its time. In fact, even Crasher admitted to having an attraction to him and I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the Guardian femmes had an attraction to him.

9- Skyfire - As well as having the best mechanical features, Skyfire has features that would be considered as angelic which is fitting of a large seeker. To the Transformers, he is a real world white knight in shining armour and not just because he is white. His armour is blocky yet the edges are smooth giving him a softer and more innocent appearance.

10- Sunstreaker - As annoying as his vanity can be, we have to admit that he is a golden child in looks. By Transformer standards, Sunstreaker has a sweet baby face, he is very symmetrical, he is mechanical looking and he has head adornments as well.

Now, I know you’ve probably noticed that I didn’t include Optimus, Megatron, Bumblebee or Starscream on this list. While they are good looking by human standards, the reality is that among Transformers, they are not handsome. Bumblebee is cute, but too juvenile looking, Starscream is just average in most incarnations and his Prime version would be considered as too skinny to most for a mech, and believe it or not, Optimus and Megatron are actually what they would consider as ugly.

I hope this list gave you some insight as to what Transformer beauty standards are like and just because they call these mechs handsome doesn’t mean you have to agree. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

If you have a Transformer theory or analysis you want explored, let me know in my ask box.

I don’t claim any of the pictures. I give credit to their artists. I just borrowed them for this list.

#transformers #transformers fandom #optimus prime #rodimus prime #starscream #bumblebee #handsome #most handsome #transformers fanfiction #transformers fanart #wheeljack #jazz #sunstreaker #skyfire #beast wars megatron #leader-1 #skywarp #alpha trion

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 42: Transcript

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: But that's because he acquired a dog!

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number 42: The Autobot Run. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah!

O: So once upon a time... on a racetrack.

S: Spike and Chip get a brilliant idea: What if the other boss participated in racing? 

O: Bumblebee arrives and says, “One limo-bot at your service,” uh, which is adorable, might I add?

S: Spike asks Bee how he feels about racing.

O: Bee is decidedly not a speedster as he seems down for it as long as it's under the speed limit, which also amusingly, goes against the fact that he totally got pulled over for speeding in an earlier episode but whatever. 

S: Yeah, yeah that's true. Laserbeak overhears this exchange.

O: I'm not exactly sure how any of this is going to help the Decepticons but all right.

S: The Decepticons are just- they're here to gather all the information they can. 

O: It's Laserbeak's job. I- I am just imagining him picking up on the most mundane information and, like, having to pass it off to Soundwave because it's his job.

S: Yeah, oh god, they probably have terabytes of information stored someplace. 

O: [Laughter] Probably.

S: Yeah. Elsewhere, in a weirdly well-preserved old west town, the Constructicons are finishing the dumb 80’s weapon of the week. The, um, Transfixatron which sounds like could be a lot of things, but probably not what you're expecting.

O: Uh, which is, of course, a purple gun mounted on a weird stand thing. 

S: Yep. Laserbeak's arrival causes Megatron to go off model and resemble Homer Simpson for a split second in the mouth department.

O: Which is very unnerving.

S: Yeah and I- I keep envisioning it right now and it is definitely very unnerving.

O: Very, very, very unnerving. Um, Laserbeak hops into Soundwave’s chest compartment and reports on the doings of the Autobots’ human allies, and the Autobots too, I guess. Since Bumblebee was there.

S: Yeah, Megatron is going to make good use of this information about the, uh, proposed Autobot race. 

O: Again, not sure how but okay, buddy! 

S: Yeah, but, uh, first he's gotta test out his new toy! Much to the chagrin of Starscream, who really does not approve that they're not beating up the Autobots right now.

O: You know, I think he's just salty that Megatron had the Constructicons build his new toy instead of him.

S: Yeah, that sounds- that sounds on brand. He calls it an idiotic contraption.

O: Of course the moment Megatron threatens to use it on Starstream, as his first test subject, suddenly Starstream changes his tune on if the device might work or not. “After all, what's a test without a guinea pig-atron.” Yes, Megatron said that word for word.

S: Guinea pig has clearly entered the Decepticons lexicon.

O: Yes, so Megatron picks up the entire gun which, again, I remind you is on a base, uh, and, uh, shoots Starscream.

S: Why does it have a stand at all? Maybe just get a shoulder strap or a harness or something for it? Or a table? Do they not want to draw a table? This is a very stupidly designed contraption.

O: Which, you know, is per the norm for 80's cartoons. At first, it appears that the gun has done nothing to Starscream.

S: Starscream responds just about how you'd expect, mock-mocking Megatron for his high-tech garbage.

O: But Megatron tells Starscream to try and transform, which, of course, he can't because that's the entire function of the Transfixatron.

S: Transfixing you in your-

O: Alt.

S: Altmode, yeah. And so Shockwave suddenly appears standing next to Megatron despite not being in any of the previous shots?

O: I also don't think he shows up again in this episode. He certainly doesn't have any lines.

S: Yeah, he just- poof. He's just taking a mini vacation.

O: Assumably he wanted off Cybertron for a while.

S: [indistinct] Yeah.

O: Uh, Starscream begs Megatron to return him to normal. 

S: They bicker, there's some back and forth. Megatron threatens to leave him this way forever.

O: Starscream says, “But I'm too valuable to you!” I'm too good of a lay, boss you can't do this.

S: Megatron tells him to stop whining and, uh, returns Starscream to normal. He then monologues a bit about how they're going to use the Transfixatron on the Autobots and then commands the Constructicons to, “Get started on the second device.”

O: So we don't just get one silly 80’s weapon of the week, we get two in this episode!

S: Gee, I wonder what it looks like.

O: [Laughter] The answer to that might surprise you! 

S: This inexplicably involves Hook plunging his namesake into the ground to begin excavating- with his hook. The Constructicons, well, the other Constructicons begin digging in a much more sensible manner.

O: Now at the Ark, uh, Chip and Spike are on the cusp of convincing Optimus Prime of their charity racing idea.

S: The other Autobots all seem pretty for it.

O: Ironhide wants some action or he'll rust. I'm not sure if I had Ironhide’s alt that racing would be my first choice of a leisure activity, but more power to you buddy.

S: Obviously he's just going to use his multitude of weaponry to booby-trap the track. I mean, who knows? Maybe he's got some sort of rocket booster? 

O: [Laughter] More of the rocket-powered fist! 

S: Yeah, or at least everybody but Huffer is into the idea. Frankly, I have to wonder where Red Alert is because he'd probably be having a conniption.

O: Okay, he is locked up in his room monitoring things, probably. And it's like, “I don't see it, I don't hear it, it does not exist,” I imagine. Uh but, of course, this means Huffer is voluntold that he gets to stay and watch the base.

S: Yep, ah, Huffer who gets to be responsible today, but Brawn, Ratchet and Wheeljack stay behind to keep him company. 

O: Which is weird, because isn't Wheeljacks’ alt a race car?

S: Yeah, he's a Lancia Stratos.

O: You’d think he'd be more into this. 

S: Maybe he's just not that big into going around- around- around- around in a circle. It's just not so exciting for him.

O: I-I do like the idea of somebody who definitely does not have the personality of a race car being put into the body of a racing car like- you know, he's a scientist in all- all reality he should be like, uh, um, a sedan or something, but- but he got stuck in the body of a race car!

S: Optimus leads the rest of the Autobots out with the call of: “Roll for the show!”

O: At the racetrack, with our celebrity guests, the Autobots.

S: Our roster for today is: Cliffjumper, Bluestreak, Jazz, Prowl, Sideswipe, Ironhide, Hound, Sunstreaker, Optimus, Trailbreaker, Mirage, Windcharger, and Gears.

O: Huffer was too cranky to come but Gears is just fine with this today.

S: He's a sporty little car, he can have a little racing, you know, as a treat.

O: [Laughter] Uh, one man from the audience jumps up and says, “Hey! Where are their cars?!” 

S: Honey, honey, they are the cars.

O: Has this man been living under a rock for a year or so, or however long they've been there and missed the whole giant transforming alien robots bit?

S: Very probably.

O: Jesus!

S: I'm going to go with a ‘yes’ here.

O: Where do you live, man? I-I would like directions because I would like to not be in society right now. Um, so we see Bumblebee chilling off to the side with Chip and Spike as the two- ah, the three of them, rather, watch the race. 

S: He doesn't really seem like he cares for sports.

O: He likes the speed limit just fine, thanks. That's what he said to the- I know, it's funny. 

S: Mostly I'm just wondering if he was involved in that episode where Optimus plays basketball or whatever.

O: I can't remember. I- like, I'm remembering like Sunstreaker and, I think, Sideswipe but I don't- I don't remember if Bee was involved with the basketball or not.

S: I feel like he wasn't, but yeah, I don't remember so, yeah, he's just- Bee does not care about sports, yeah. Ah, the Autobots, predictably, transform and line up at the starting line. 

O: The race begins!

S: Ironhide and Trailbreaker rib each other a little bit as neither of them seems terribly quick.

O: Sunstreaker leaves the rest in the dust, taunting them as he goes by. Oh, my beautiful idiot.

S: Mirage being an actual Formula One race car also pulls ahead and Jazz decides they need a soundtrack. 

O: Which I would think driving around in circles would be boring so, I don't know, that seems like a very good call to me.

S: Yeah, Optimus Prime is inexplicably close to the lead, I mean, maybe everyone is-

O: Too afraid to pass him?

S: Maybe, or they're all just chill and this is their equivalent of jogging around a track.

O: [Laughter] Okay, that's kind of funny. Suddenly! Skywarp appears overhead, transforming into his root mode and pulling the Transfixatron out of his ass. 

S: Subspace, hammer space, wherever Optimus hides his trailer. 

O: Skywarp hits all of the Autobots on the track with the Transfixatron. 

S: Spike sees this and says, “What was that?”

O: Bumblebee responds with something about energy evaporation from all the speed.

S: Bumblebee responds with bullshit. 

O: [Laughter]

S: Let's just be straight about this.

O: Skywarp teleports away, meeting back up with the Decepticons

S: Megatron actually praises him.

O: Again, he really seems to like Skywarp.

S: Back on the racetrack, Ironhide asks Trailbreaker if he felt anything weird.

O: And then Trailbreaker, again, ribs him because Ironhide’s in last place and, really, when you get down to it they are in a race of two and are really only up for who's not in last place right now because they are both very slow.

S: Yeah, the group approaches the finish line with Jazz and Mirage out in front.

O: We're not really told who wins but it's safe to assume it was either Jazz or Mirage or, maybe, both of them.

S: Yeah. On to the next event on the docket for today: The Autobots’ incredible car stunts.

O: Sunstreaker has all the other Autobots line up so he can jump over them off, you know, jump off a ramp over them, rather. 

S: Ah, time to be a daredevil. Some of the Autobots dislike this idea more than others, but they all, you know, comply and line up. 

O: Optimus tells Sunstreaker he won't be able to make it.

S: Spoiler alert: Sunstreaker does not make it.

O: But! Sunstriker is saved by some quick thinking by Windcharger, who catches him with his magnets.

S: And the crowd seems to love it anyway, so: Mission accomplished! 

O: Mirage catches sight of the Decepticons and the Autobots attempt to transform. Of course Megatron lands in front of them and gloats.

S: It's Megatron, I mean, that's what he does, it's what he loves.

O: It's what he lives for.

S: Then Megatron uses- utilizes some eye lasers to chase the humans away.

O: When did he get eye lasers!?

S: He's just had so much stupid shit installed.

O: [Deadpan] Help the Autobots are in danger, cut to commercial. 

S: Is this a facelift for Decepticons?

O: I don't know. 

S: The Decepticons attack and with the Autobots in car mode they aim for the tires.

O: Bee gets Spike and Chip out of there before they're noticed and heads back to the Ark. 

S: Ironhide tells everybody to, “Push past that flat tire,” but they start taking hits from Thundercrackers’ incendiary blasts.

O: Ironhide says, “I'm getting sunburnt on the inside!” Push past it, Ironhide, push past it! 

S: Soundwave then disables the Autobots communicators and Megatron says to, “Take them away.” 

O: Bee’s plan actually worked quite well and the Decepticons never noticed them at all and they were able to get back to the Ark and tell the remaining Autobots basically all this shit went down.

S: Yup. Huffer bitches and moans before Brawn threatens to put his, “Footio into his audio.”

O: That's not even clever.

S: It isn't.

O: I know what I'm watching. [Laughter] Uh, Chip uses Teletraan I and he, Wheeljack, and Ratchet are very quickly able to come up with a hypothesis for what could have caused the Autobots to not be able to transform.

S: Ratchet and Wheeljack get to work. They got some business to take care of.

O: Good thing, too- they left two of the scientists behind. Where's Perceptor? 

S: Yeah, and Beachcomber? I mean-

O: They're just off today, apparently! 

S: Maybe Beachcomber took the- the Dinobots out?

O: Yeah, that's just the right recurring joke at this point is he- he babysits the Dinobots in his downtime.

S: Beachcomber and Perceptor took the Dinobots out on an expedition-

O: So, Ratchet and Wheeljack could have a nice, quiet couple's day at home and then this happened.

S: Yes.

O: Gotcha. Back in the old west, Megatron unveils his second bullshit machine.

S: Guess what it does? Guess what it does? It's gonna eat the Autobots!

O: That's what he says but that thing has fucking tentacles. Remember what I said, is what you didn't expect? It has fucking tentacles! And, you know, it makes me think, remember that episode of the giant supercomputer, TORQ III, and the weird kink machines he was using against the Autobots? I am just saying he did that after being corrupted by Megatron. After!

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron! Has a thing! For kink machines!

S: Yeah, the machine is really dark purple-

O: Of course.

S: It has a large grabby claw and a crusher at the top and also, weirdly enough, smaller tentacles.

O: Don't know what to do with your machine? Add more tentacles!

S: Apparently. Well, I mean, the whole theoretically them coming from the Quintessons, kind of makes that all really-

O: It does make a little bit more sense with that, doesn't it? Hmm.

S: Yeah, time to shudder.

O: [Laughter] Ironhide cuts off Megatron with the sentiment of, ‘Oh, just kill us already,’ rather than have to listen to him talk.

S: Then, of course, Megatron wants to demonstrate to them exactly how they're going to die but so the Cons toss in some stuff to show the Autobots how they're going to get crushed. Did they just go off and grab some junk for this?

O: I assume? Maybe it was spare parts from the machine- or like, they didn't use when building the machine? 

S: Maybe.

O: While all this is going on, Hound is able to transmit a single image to the Ark, despite their communicators being disabled. 

S: Teletraan I is able to triangulate their exact location based on this one image which, I guess, is not out of the realm of possibility.

O: It still seems kind of silly.

S: Yeah.

O: Um, Soundwave being, you know, the only competent one here realizes that something's up pretty quickly and shoots Hound's gun that was also acting as his transmitter?

S: He's the guy who does the... holograms! 

O: Yes.

S: That was what I was... yeah, so yeah. Who knows what the fuck Hound can do. Megatron's new machine spits a tiny little block of crushed metal out so apparently he was concerned with how much space his enemy's corpses would take up.

O: At least he's not littering?

S: I guess? I mean you can always recycle material but I guess he's an evil villain so, uh, yeah.

O: [Laughter] He's going to build a house out of his enemy’s corpses is what I'm getting from this, okay. It's gonna have an entire fortress of Autobots. 

S: I think, more likely to do a chair out of corpses.

O: That's true, there aren't that many Autobots there.

S: Yes, but I think there's also a weird precedent for that in the comics.

O: Yeah, probably. 

S: Megatron tells the Constructicons to make Ironhide the first target and the Autobots surround him like circling up the wagons and the- but the Constructicons just sort of casually pick them up and toss them over to the side and get to Ironhide anyway.

O: Because, again, they're all stuck in car mode.

S: Yea.

O: Uh, back at the Ark, Wheeljack and Ratchets’ labors have produced, the Holy Hand Grenade!

S: [Laughter] This will apparently create energy waves that will allow the others to go back to normal.

O: Unfortunately, there's no time to test if this will work so off they go to try to save their friends.

S: Back with the Cons, Ironhide is in the grasp of the purple, chompy machine and about to be eaten but Optimus sends out Roller. It's Roller time, guys!

O: Duh-duh-na-na!

S: Jazz hands.

O: Jazz doesn't have any hands right now. [Laughter] Sorry.

S: Jazz speakers, then!

O: [Laughter]

S: Uh, Roller begins, uh, weaving between the Decepticons’ legs as they all start shooting at him.

O: The rest of the Autobots arrive just in time.

S: And Ratchet gets to be Ironhide again because he's miscolored. Again.

O: So, Ironhide is about to get eaten and is also driving up to himself.

S: Good times, good times, guys.

O: [Laughter]

S: While the Cons are distracted, Optimus rams the machine causing it to drop Ironhide onto the ground.

O: Megatron's pissed and fires on Optimus and Ironhide. 

S: Ratchet is uh, Ratchet again before turning back into ironhide for three sec- three seconds later.

O: Soundwave, his cassettes, Skywarp, and Thundercracker begin attacking them.

S: But at least Spike brought his personal protective equipment today.

O: Yay. 

S: Wheeljack is running in an attempt to protect the grenade in what can only be described as a Scooby-Doo-esque sequence.

O: Which is very applicable considering how many Scooby-Doo voice actors were in this show but anyway, I have no idea how the Cons know that Wheeljack's the one they should target right now but they are targeting him.

S: Yeah, two Thundercrackers appear to be chasing Wheeljack before one disappears, presumably Skywarp, uh, you know, teleporting and reappears as Starscream before yelling in Skywarp's voice.

O: So everything went wrong in that scene that possibly could. [Laughter] 

S: Well, aside from just completely forgetting to color characters at all.

O: Yes, yes but- but I think because the Seekers are all the same model it's almost worse when they're- they're colored the wrong color.

S: Yeah, the grenade is knocked out of Wheeljack's hand before Spike catches it.

O: Soundwave then makes a beeline for him and Soundwaves like, “Get the human microbe.” 

S: Spike then tosses the Holy Hand Grenade to Chip who begins wheeling away like there's absolutely no tomorrow. Soundwave sends out Ravage who knocks Chip over just as he throws the grenade to the Autobots.

O: Ravage, apparently, just leaves him alone after he does this instead of, I don't know, mauling him. 

S: He's a considerate cat. Thankfully the grenade does indeed work, pissing off Megatron who orders the Constructicons to combine.

O: And they seem quite happy to have something to do that isn't work on Megatron's pet projects.

S: Finally! Conflict!!! Hit it!!

O: Devastator then tosses the Autobots around.

S: And, surprising the hell out of us, the propulsion via hand thrusters makes a surprise second appearance with Wheeljack.

O: Who gets the great idea of defeating Devastator with the Transfixatron and enlists Cliffjumper to help him because he cannot reach the controls without help because the gun is too tall.

S: Yeah, so they hit Devastator with the gadget of the week and Devastator falls to pieces.

O: Megatron realizes they're outnumbered without Devastator and the Decepticons retreat.

S: Ironhide and Trailbreaker knock over the Transfixatron, which then has a tiny explosion for no good reason.

O: [Laughter]

S: Ratchet groans about how many repairs he's going to have to do now and the episode ends.

O: So join us next time for episode 43: The Golden Lagoon. Skinny dipping robots, skinny dipping robots everywhere. Oh, and also the Decepticons want to be... shiny.

S: And environmental destruction. But let's not forget the shiny.

O: [Laughter] The shiny is what's important here. 

S: Okay so we have two fanfic recommendations: one wild card fic from Owls and one from myself. Mine is “Going to the Dogs” by Koi Lungfish. It's in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated K+, it's Gen, there’s no pairings, and the characters are Red Alert, Prowl, Inferno, and Jazz. In summary, “Human tourists cause Prowl and Red Alert some confusion.” 

O: I could see that.

S: And so the reason I picked this one is because the race is basically like human outreach- social outreach, more or less. They're- they're trying to be entertainers, so the fan thing about the humans effectively trying to reach out and build more of a social profile with humans by inviting tourists into the Ark and trying to be transparent is- it's a fun concept and I like it.

O: Fair.

S: It's a one shot so therefore complete, so let's go on to Owls' choice!

O: All right, my fanfic suggestion for today is “Casting for a Tape Bros Film.” It is by LittleMissSweetGrass. The continuity is IDW, it is rated G. It is slash, but very light slash, I would say.  Our pairings are CosWave and our characters are Soundwave, Marissa, Rumble, Frenzy, Buzzsaw, Laserbeak, and Cosmos. And in summary, “Soundwave gets a phone call from Marissa that he really, really doesn't want to deal with right now.” It is a one shot, it's very short but it's very cute. It's kind of, I think, Soundwave trying to sleep and getting calls that involve Thundercracker.

Both: [Laughter]

O: A sudden attack of the Thundercracker.

S: Nice, and that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, Youtube, or AO3!  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: I’m Owls.

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

#transcript #g1 episode 42 #afterspark #afterspark podcast

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Cyberverse watch! Episodes 1-10

EPISODE 1

Bee you are ADORABLE

The cartoons always seem to start off in the middle of a desert huh

Lmao this is mean but imagine if bee missed the ju-- OH NO I WAS JUST KIDDING BEE

BUMBLEBEE IM SO SORRY I WAS JUST KIDDING, I SHOULDN”T HAVE MADE THAT JOKE

Gosh I’m so glad Windblade seems like one of the main three, like, she’s one of the main people in the intro and everything

Oh man we’re getting right into the bakstory huh

THERE”S TINY PERCY

“We couldn’t be sure if it’d actually work” Windblade says as she jumps through it without any concern or sense of self-preservation

AW SHE HUGGED BEE Windblade is so cute

IS THAT...SKYWARP

It’s so hard to tell the seekers apart

AW MAN I LOVE WINDBLADE’S SWORD And I love that her wings are retractable that’s so cool

STINGER that’s a new ability for ol’ Bee

OH THAT”S THUNDERCRACKER alrighty, sorry bud, I always think you should be green for some reason

JEEZ LOUISE WINDBLADE THAT CORTICAL PSYCHIC PATCH

I wonder if Windblade is still a Cityspeaker in this show :O

oh ANNNND THAT”S THE END OF THAT EPISODE man I forgot they were only 11 minutes. Alright, what the heck, let’s do some more

EPISODE 2

Alright I’m pretty sure that pretty purple seeker isn’t Skywarp but  idk what her name is yet

Aw grumpy Bee is cute

HER FANS JUST FLEW OFF???? WE’RE JUST PLAYING FAST AND LOOSE WITH THESE DESIGNS HUH I gotta say I’m a fan

“I’m going to create a distraction while you--” *camera zooms out to show Bee’s wandered off* I LOVE THEM

Yeah Windblade may not be a Cityspeaker in this series but she’s definitely a babysitter lmao, poor gal

OH SHE IS A CITYSPEAKER THAT”S AWESOME I wasn’t sure if they’d keep that part of her backstory :’) I’m so glad

Awww they hugged again :’)))) Windblade and Bee’s friendship is so cute!!

AAWW AND AGAIN!!! GOSH I LOVE THEM “We were friends once” “We still are” WEEPS!!!!

EPISODE 3

Windblade: BUMBLEBEE STOP DRIVING SO BADLY IM TRYING TO MONOLOGUE

Windblade: I’m going to plug into your brain with this cortical psychic patch and access your memories Bumblebee: I don’t believe this woman’s ever gone to medical school

Lmao way to sum things up Bee

TRIFORCE CUBE ALLSPARK

I wonder if the Allspark swallowed up / locked away his memories AH and as soon as I started typing that some weird glowing stuff started happening lmao

Ah and there’s Starscream, the dork

Man had Saling not warned me about Peter Cullen not voicing Optimus I would’ve been totally caught off-guard by that. Man, I hope Mr. Cullen is doing ok

I DON”T KNOW WHY BUT MEGATRON SAYING “AHAHA OPTIMUS PRIME” MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD

STARSCREAM TOOK OFF HIS WINGS AND THREW THEM WTF

LMAO SHE JUST TRIPPED HIM OFF A LEDGE #Get rekt Starscream

SCARY LADY WHO THE HECK IS THAT

SOUNDWAVE

MY BOY!!! IT”S HIM THERE HE IS!!! I JUST GASPED

SOUNDWAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU”RE DOING SO GOOD

OH MAN AND HE CAN TALK???? SOUNDWAVE BABY BOY!!!!!

OUCH poor Optimus

Optimus: Good thing I was a pitcher in my middle school’s football league *chucks Allspark through the space bridge*

EPISODE 4

That Allspark looks so much like a dice....I wonder what would happen if they rolled a nat 20 on it lmao

GRIMLOCK??????

WHEELJACK?????

lmao wheeljack looks like such a dork I love him

OH MY GOSH IS THAT CHROMIA??? SCREW THESE GUYS, THERE”S MY GIRL!!!!

Lmao I love that Windblade’s essentially “Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories”-ing Bee’s memories

Optimus: Meet back here in 20 astrocycles Grimlock: Sure thing! *whispers to bee* What the heck is an astrocycle Bee: *Shrugs*

Bee: I don’t know, but this place is the pits I LOVE HIM?????

It’s so weird hearing “intellectual” Grimlock lmaooo

Bee: *grumbles* Optimus would’ve thought that was a funny joke YOU ARE PRECIOUS

Optimus: Bee, watch your footing, the ground is starting to shake Bee: Thank you for that wonderful observation, Captain Obvious

Those bugs are making such cute sounds as they attack them that’s so cute

Aw Optimus, you’re such a good guy, what a sweetheart

Dang, they have a lot of autobots on that ship

UH THEY SHOULD LEAVE AT LEAST ONE PERSON AWAKE

EPISODE 5

Aw man the snow and mountain background in this episode look so pretty

WHY IS BEE HOLDING A GOAT SO CUTE

Bee: They were very kind. They took me in as one of their own WHY! ARE! YOU! SO! PRECIOUS!!!!!

Windblade: You want a what? What is a food processor? THEY”RE SO CUTE!!! GOSH I LOVE THEM 

oh man the backgrounds on this show are absolutely beautiful

Man, you know what it’s so frickin cool that Windblade’s essentially the main character of the show (plus Bee, but mostly her) :’)

“I thought they left all the useless bots on Cybertron” “Clearly not, if you’re here” OH SNAP

Bee’s just sitting on the ship watching bad human TV while Windblade’s off risking her life lmao, I love him

Slipstream is such a moron, why would you throw a flier off a CLIFF

SHE”S A FLIER

I love how Windblade says “Ugh, I was attacked” as if it’s just an inconvenience and not a huge deal

EPISODE 6

OHHH IS THIS GLADIATOR MEGATRON

YEAHHHH IT IS

AHHHHHH BEE HIGH-FIVED SHOCKWAVE, THAT”S SO CUTE I was wondering what the context was behind that

OH MAN THERE’S ARCEE AND RATCHET

AHHH AND THERE”S SOUNDWAVE They’re all standing beside him!

MEGATRON JUST SAID “TIL ALL ARE ONE” IM CRACKING UP

Optimus: I do not intend to start a fight Bee: What if he doesn’t listen? Optimus: He will listen to me 8′((((( and so it begins </3

Lmao also:  Optimus: I don’t intend to start a fight Optimus two seconds later: *chucks a bot*

OH MAN SHOCKWAVE LOOKS SO INTIMIDATING I LOVE THAT

“The file clerk is here to air his grievances” OHH it’s interesting to see what sort of backstory they’re giving Optimus in this universe

Megatron: You are wasting your time Optimus: It is never a waste of time to speak to an old friend I AM CLUTCHING MY CHEST,  YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME RN

GOSH THIS IS THE MOST DRAMATIC BREAKUP EVER THIS IS KILLING ME IM SO SAD

That one lady Decepticon: *grabs onto Bee and flips him over her head* Me: *CONFLICTED HEART EYE EMOJI????*

SOUNDWAVE!!! IM LOVE YOU!!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!

GOSH I AM RENDERED INCAPABLE OF COHERENT THOUGHT OR SPEECH WHEN HE COMES ONSCREEN

Bee: Megatron may have torn out my voicebox, but he can’t keep me from talking. I love to talk! Talk talk talk talk.... Windblade: *laughs* Shut up! *weeps into my hands* This friendship is so wholesome

EPISODE 7

AW Decepticon ships have pong on their ships that’s adorable

What is the deal with this cube...is it a person....

AW IS THIS THEIR FIRST MEETING, THAT”S SO ADORABLE, gosh, what a dorky way for Windblade and Bee to meet

IT”S A SPORT OH MY GOSHHHH that’s amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen any sort of Cybertronian sports, that’s so cool! I always wondered what kind of sports / games they’d be into

lmao Starscream is so unimpressed with Windblade for liking the game

Ahh Windblade’s taller than him! That’s so cool!

LMAO Bee: You seem different. You’re not like other jets

GOSH THIS EPISODE IS LITERALLY MEAN GIRLS BUT WITH GIANT ROBOTS THIS IS HILARIOUS

Lmao yeah Starsream, because no one’s going to notice the cube is suddenly red instead of blue

AW NEITHER OF THEM REMEMBER HOW TO PLAY CUBE that’s adorable

EPISODE 8

Ugh, there really aren’t any good places to watch episode 8 so I’m watching it all broken up

YO VELOCITRON EXISTS IN THIS UNIVERSE NICEEEE It’s so cool seeing the colony planets!!

YO VELOCITRON LOOKS SO C

OH MY GOSH THERE’S HOT ROD!!!! I LOVE HIM OH MY GOSH BLURR IS HERE TOO!!!!

HOT ROD!!!! RODDY!!! YOU SOUND SO CUTE I LOVE YOU!!!!

Wait wtf is that evil wheeljack??? WHO IS THAT oh wait Plague of Rust??? that doesn’t sound great

“HOT DOG”

I really like Bee’s voice ahhhh he got such a great voice actor

Hot Rod and Blurr’s banter is so fun, that’s really great, and Bee’s like an excitable little kid!!! I love him!!!!

Blurr you stupid twunk, you gotta get out of there THAT RUST IS SPREADING SO FAST

OH NO HIS WHEEL GOT SOME RUST ON IT

OH SHOOT THEY’RE REALLY GONNA KILL BLURR HUH

DANG DUDE WELL OK THEN

EPISODE 9

Nicccce good friends sparring

WHO IS THIS CREEPY MULTIPLE EYED GIRL oh her name is Shadow Striker

*MEANINGFUL SILENCE AT THE WAY THEY STRUNG OPTIMUS UP*

“Ugh, I don’t even like being alone in the room with him” “I don’t like being left alone with you!” LMAO

Bee is so cute, he’s trying to psych himself up

LMAO THE GUARDS ARE TALKING ABOUT THEIR PREFERENCES AND THEIR BOSS that’s so cute what losers

AW MAN I thought Bumblebee was gonna hug Optimus that would’ve been cute

There’s so many seekers in this series!

Man I wasn’t sure what I’d think of Cyberverse but I’m really enjoying myself! It’s such a cute heartwarming show!

...I say, right as Shadow Striker attempts to do a murder / suicide thing with Bumblebee

“What’s your problem with me?!” I MEAN YOU DID BLOW HER UP BUMBLEBEE, CAN YOU BLAME HER FOR BEING MAD

EPISODE 10

Epic space battle! 

BEE YOU DON”T HAVE A SPACE-FARING ALT MODE WHAT ARE YOU DOING

MACCADAMS

THAT”S...DEFINITELY NOT HOW I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRONOUNCED

RIP buff Rung theory, you will be sorely missed

RATCHET!!! GOSH HE DOES SOUND LIKE A WEIRD NEW YORKER that’s an interesting take on his voice! I wonder how they decided on that

SOUNDWAVE!!! SOUNDWAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I WOULD DIE FOR YOU!!! AND HE EVEN HAS BACKUP DANCERS!!! Of course the crowd is going wild for him

AW MEGATRON AND OPTIMUS *whispers* datenight

WHEELJACK AND SHOCKWAVE AW THAT”S SO CUTE They’re both dorky science nerds / proud papas to the shocklets and OH MY GOSH DID SHOCKWAVE JUST LAUGH THAT”S SO CUTE

Gosh I love seeing the bots talking about sports that’s adorable

MACCADAM IS TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE goshhh. I still see buff Rung but actually getting to meet Maccadam is pretty neat

DEADLOCK AHHH aw he’s so timid!! I love him :’) 

CHROMIA!!! I LOVE HER!!! And aww she’s making the same argument she does in the comic

OH NO DEADLOCK POOR GUY what a sweetheart, he’s just out here doing his best 

YOOOO MACCADAM THAT”S SICK AS HELL, IM SCREAMING

THIS DUDE DEFINITELY TAKES AFTER HIS PAPA RUNG

I need to draw Mac and Rung together, I NEED to see them hanging out

“To friendship” AW THAT”S SO PRECIOUS GOSHHHH

I CAN”T WAIT TO SEE MORE OF THIS SHOW I LOVE IT

#i talk #primordial robot hell #I'm watching Transformers #cyberverse spoiler #Idk if I need to tag for that #MAN I WENT FROM ''hmm this show seems nice'' to ''THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER'' #I'm watching Cyberverse

[transformerimagines]

Cliff falling (Tfp Bumblebee x reader)

This wasn’t supposed to happen. You had gone against Lord Megatron’s wishes when you jetted off to a mountain range, hoping to be left to your own thoughts longer than you might have been on the warship. You were angry at the Second in Command in all honesty, Starscream was abrasive, rude, obnoxious. Starscream was, well Starscream and at times when he is annoying you just needed to go for a flight. Stomping around angrily at the top of a cliff is how you ended up in your crumpled position at the bottom of the cliff, you had stupidly tumbled over the edge and before you could fly off your right wing had been damaged. That wasn’t even the best part, when you landed your pede had twisted under your body in an unnatural position leaving you both unable to walk and unable to fly. The icing on the cake was when the three Autobot pets came rushing around the corner, your day couldn’t have gone any better. You later found out they were on a field trip when they heard Cybertronian sounds and came to see what it was, if it were any other Con they would be dead right now.

“We need to call someone.” The tallest boy said after they had inched closer to you, obviously at ease that you couldn’t fight when you were injured. It wasn’t like you to fight fleshies anyway, however with a reputation as Con assassin it was sensible for them to be worried. You shook your helm as you rested against the cliff side, wincing as you moved your wing slightly.

“The autobots could help you, they won’t want to but they will.” The girl added while prodding at your unbroken wing, she was ballsy to straight up ask if she could feel them. It wasn’t hard to remember your own sparkling curiosity so you didn’t argue. You were too distracted by the designs the human was drawing on you wings to notice the youngest human put a call in to his guardian. It wasn’t until the swirling blue of a ground bridge appeared did you realise what was happening.

“How dare you go against my wishes!” You screeched at the trio, much like Starscream had screeched at you earlier. They looked sheepishly to the ground as the yellow scout exited the ground bridge alone, glaring at you first before turning to the humans.

“Are you hurt?” Bumblebee communicated to them, all the while keeping his blaster pointed towards your head. In turn, your servo switched to a blade glowing the same bright red as your optics.

“No, we’re fine.” The youngest spoke before turning to you with a saddened look. “She isn’t though, she’s hurt pretty bad.” You started to argue as soon as the words left the humans mouth, starting a verbal battle between yourself and the three children while Bee assessed the condition of your body. The askew angle of your wing and the way your ankle bent was not a good sign, there was energon leaking from both injuries that were slowly pooling around you. If he didn’t act then you would have died of energon loss, you couldn’t fly to the warship and he assumed your accident knocked out your communications otherwise you would have contacted the Con’s already.

“Ratchet, I need a ground bridge to base. Y/N isn’t in a good way, she needs your help Doc.” This sound of Bee had stopped your petty argument with the children, instead you looked at him with anger in your eyes.

“I am not going anywhere with you Bot, I would rather offline then seek out your help.” You spat, blade switching to servo again as you attempted to pull yourself up using the side of the cliff. In your weakened state, you looked quite hilarious, maybe even pathetic, at the moment you didn’t care. You only knew you weren’t going to give in to the pity of the autobots.

“You are grounded,” You froze, fully supported against the wall with your back to the Bot. The children saw that what Bee said had hit a nerve, however they weren’t quite sure why. “You are a seeker, without your wings you will perish,” He continued, walking towards you as he beeped melodically. You watched him, fluid brimming at your optics as you realised the severity of your situation. “Now stop being an afthead and come on.” His servo outstretched to you and a smile playing on his face plate.

Was he asking you to trust him? That was never going to happen, the bots had done far too much to you for you to trust them. Your two older brother were killed by the Bot’s during a raid on a Decepticon base leaving only you and your older brother, the only one left of the original triplets. The Con’s had done a lot to them as well, you had murdered too many bots to count all because they had murdered your kin. Bumblebee knew that and yet he was, offering his servo to a femme that could easily kill him but he knew you would take it because you had both lost too much in this war to attack when somebot was injured. You motioned with your helm for him to move to the side, you were to stubborn to allow him to help you and you paid the price when pain shot through you as you placed your injured pede on the ground. You would have fell over if Bee hadn’t come to your side, hooking your arm around his shoulder to take you weight, all the while being cautious of your wings. He knew how sensitive a seeker’s wings were and wasn’t overly fond of getting his helm bit off by an angry femme.

A ground bridge opened just in front of you as Bee told the kids to get back to their ‘teacher’ before he helped you pathetically hobble through the portal into the Autobot base. Your embarrassment wasn’t helped by the fact most of the autobots were waiting for your arrival, throwing questioning looks at Bee when he beeped angrily at them, almost defensively. You held your head high as you both made your way slowly across the room, your presumed Bee was taking your straight to the med bay, you didn’t want to have to deal with the Autobots right now. You were so close to the corridor as well. So, so close before a certain wrecker decided to open his trap.

“Thought we told you not to bring stray’s home, Bee.” Wheeljack smirked at his word choice, knowing it would get a rise from you. You whipped around quickly, fighting against Bee’s hold as your arms waved rapidly trying to get to the fragger who had insulted you. Pain was all but gone, now all you felt was the energon running through your frame.

“Who are you calling a stray, your dirt kissing Glitch!” You exclaimed, temporarily breaking free of Bee’s hold before he grabbed you around your midsection. “I have a family! Your Wreckers are all dead. I should know I offlined them!” Wheeljack’s face turned to thunder as Bulkhead grabbed his friend’s shoulders and wrestled him to the other side of the room. Before you could argue even more, you felt yourself being slung over Bumblebee’s shoulder as he continued his walk to the Med bay.

“That’s enough excitement for one day,” He beeped, you didn’t fight your current position in fear you might injure your wings even more. Your anger had subsided, now was the time to think rationally. “Do you cause this much commotion among the Cons?” He made conversation to make it seem like it wasn’t awkward when it really was. You all of a sudden became all too aware of how close you were to the young scout and that sent you blushing in a way that it shouldn’t have, especially for a con.

“I try,” You admitted, “It’s too funny to watch Knockout and Screamer argue over something they think the other did when really, I’m the one who always starts it.” A sound like laughter came from Bee when you told him, making you smile at how bizarre it sounded.

“Sounds like someone is constantly causing trouble.” He stated before entering the med bay where both Optimus Prime and Ratchet were waiting for you both.

“You have no idea.”

_-_

It didn’t take long for the medic to heal you right up. Now you were in the middle of nowhere, waiting for the Cons to come and collect you. Optimus contacted Megatron and told him about your injuries before deciding on a location to meet up so that you could be handed over. No guns, no mess, no battles. You were currently standing in between Bee and Optimus, your wings fluttering happily at the fact that both were functional again. The action obviously annoyed quite a few of the autobots but it was quite intriguing to Bee who now saw the tattooing that you had marking the edges of your wings. He would have reached out and touched them if it weren’t for the sound of engines roaring above the cloud line, once they got closer you realised that it was Megatron, Screamer and Soundwave. Excitement washed over as you transformed, racing in to the sky to meet them, performing various somersaults and tricks and you flew between them. You saved the best till last when you transformed mid-air and slammed into your brother. Starscream wasn’t expecting this but he transformed anyway, spinning you around him and holding you to him as you both landed, Megatron and Soundwave not far behind you.

“How did this happen!” Starscream screamed worriedly, inspecting you to make sure that you were fully healed and the Bots weren’t lying.

“I fell off a cliff.” You responded lowly, looking to your pedes in embarrassment. You felt a large hand on your helm, you tilted your helm upwards to see Megatron looking down at you with a hybrid of a frown and smile on his mouth.

“Maybe don’t disobey orders next time, Y/N,” He spoke softly, caringly rubbing your helm making you smile at him as you nodded. Megatron turned to the Autobots who were on high alert as they watched your interaction, even Bee had his blasters out but thankfully they weren’t pointed towards you. “I owe you my thanks for returning Y/N to us unharmed.” He nodded his head towards Optimus in respect who nodded his own back.

“No thanks is needed, she caused a small disturbance among the Wreckers but other than that she was quite pleasant.” Optimus informed Megatron. Hearing about the Wreckers made Starscream smirk at you before turning his shit-eating grin towards the two bots who only grew angrier by the second. Megatron was satisfied with what Optimus had said and transformed along with the others before jetting off, you didn’t transform yet though. There was one more think you needed to do.

You turned your gaze from the sky to the Bots before walking over to them, your optics focused to Bee who froze when he saw that it was him who you were approaching. You lost all other feelings, instead focusing on not tripping over your own pedes as you came to a stand in front of Bee. You slowly leaned up to him, tilted your helm, and placed a small kiss on the corner of his lips. You stopped for a moment, allowing Bee to look into your optics momentarily before shyness overcame you and you had to look away from him, turning you back to the yellow mech.

“T-thank you for your help.” You stuttered out quickly before you felt Bee lean over your back, shivering as he placed a servo against your wing while his helm rested against your and pressed his own kiss to your cheek.

“Anytime.” He beeped, you might have been imagining but you could have sworn he sounded amused by what was happening. Before you could get further wrapped up in the situation, you cleared your throat before running forward rapidly and transforming. Ascending in to the sky until you joined the other Cons who were waiting for you.

“WHAT IN THE PIT WAS THAT!”

“SHUT UP STARSCREAM!”

#Transformers Prime #transformers #bumblebee #TFP Bumblebee #TFP Starscream #tfp #tfp wheeljack #bumblebee x reader #bee #tfp bee #x reader #reader #reader insert #bee x reader

[hgfstreamchats]

Jason Goes to Hell

Come on Kast... Kast, just once. Just. Once. Hello! Remember when we used livestream and the only thing we had to worry about were the many, many problems inherent in livestream? Hello, night human! I remember it fondly. Those were the days. I still have no audio. Hmmm... is there--yeah, me neither Still no audio? Nope. Still none Oh afts. Mmmmaybe you have something muted in kast itself? I cannot hear the terrible dance. Drat. It's very possible. It went through some kind of hideous update. Great. Glorious. Hmmmm. Nothing? Nothing Nothing. I hear it! there it is! GLORIOUS!

And it just cut out And it's back There. There we are. What was the problem? Wonderful! Emulator nonsense, the usual. Ahhh Look at that pumpkin man go. He's certainly got the music in him. What precisely is this? ohhhhh jeez I'm also wondering Either an underrated found footage film or pure garbage. We're watching now so that if it's filth, we still have time to end the month on a high note. I see... "remember that name" Once again, I already care nothing for these characters! This filming format is so obnoxious. I'm sure there's a totally normal reason he's setting up a camera in his RV like that Whichever one did that is now Smokescreen. Somehow I guess it didn't occur to me that haunted houses would run for more than one day The general idea of the thing sounds fun. I'd do it if I were human or capable of fitting into human buildings. There you go! Just make a found footage film starring me! Just stick your head in, it'll be fine "I'm here, you all figure out the rest." There are outdoor haunts. Or haunted corn mazes. You could possibly attend one of those. Yeah!  Just drive around in it As I suspect a maze loses some of its charm when you can just step over the walls Don't tempt me. I'll do it and the Autobot pets will whine to the Autobots. I would tempt you just to get the pets to whine about it. I guess you could also see if someone from one of those universes where they can project holoforms further, is willing to share If I do, I demand a copy of the report so I can frame it. This is how to get kicked off a property. ... yikes I hate them all immensely. So, do you think that these terrible people will die, or just annoy us for an hour and a half? So do they die, or what Ugh. Even the Blair Witch humans weren't this obnoxious. These wretches would fit in with the pretentious Book of Shadow humans. Shut up! ?? Them, not either of you. I feel like even if your conceit is "found footage", you can damn well edit it to only the interesting bits But if we don't see the worthless chaff, then how will we know it's "art"? If they don't stop talking, ever, how else can we be expected to care whether they live or die? And you get that same "wait, why were they even filming this in the first place" feeling At this point, I'm solidly on Team Clown. Ah. So they are being stalked by the actors from the first haunt they pissed off. So spooky. I think so? Why did they... let them in For maximum spooky. "okay this isn't so much 'scary' as 'awkward'" What exactly did they do at the first haunt?  I, uh, may have gotten up for a minute to get the kettle If anyone has suggestions for real horror movies that would go down nicely after this, do feel free to throw them out, because we're not touching the sequel with a 40 foot pole. And apparently missed Vital Plot Info (tm) They climbed an unattended ladder, and screeched at the waiting line crowd. Ohhhh. Yeah, not cool Do you want a real good horror movie, or a real silly horror movie? Either, any! Well, there is always Jason Goes to Hell. Or Texas Chainsaw 3D OH! Yes! Either is infinitely more fun than this. Jason Goes to Hell it is! OH WHAT A SHAME IT'S THE END AND THEY'RE DYING. HOWEVER DID THIS HAPPEN. WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED Are they actually dying? Hopefully? BUT THEY'VE LOST NONE OF THEIR USUAL CHARM, CLEARLY. Shaun! Damn it, don't make me laugh when I'm about to drink something Oh no! He got vaguely attacked in the dark. And she got red kool-aide on her sweater. She'll never get those stains out! The true tragedy. The frag would this be filmed? Uh oh, is it time for snakes Why does that one get cushions and kool aide doesn't? ...who's filming that She got a snack instead. I don't despise kool aide like I do beard-face. By all means, none of you try to push out while the dirt is pile on soft and shallow. *piled Oh, shut up. Thank you. I think that was as much of that as we needed to see They didn't have the decency to *die* entertaining. This should be much more entertaining. People die in ridiculous ways. Do you know what irritates me most of all? It had such a compelling title. That's what lured me in. I assumed nothing with a title that good could possibly be bad. If it had been a real documentary on the haunted house industry, then I think it would have been good. It would have been! Yeah, that could have been interesting! This is already more interesting. What a necessary scene, I'm sure It is a horror movie. Jason looks...bloated. He's a bit worse for wear. Comes of being in the lake all that time Oh hey So she was the bait Was that an air strike And then he explodes. That should do it. Graphic design is their passion. It just does this the rest of the movie. The longest mid-credit roll of them all. Ha. Just keep poking it. What I'm getting is that there were just a whole bunch of people who wanted prominence in the credits, and sacrifices had to be made The scale numbers changing is a nice touch Uh Ew ...Huh. I feel bad for that guy This is the Friday movie that was made just after New Line purchased the rights. They... did not know how to make a proper Jason movie. Oh boy o oh Hi! is this a youtube poop Hey! It's Jason Goes To Hell Smokescreen! Woojit! What is this? You barely missed the credits! Oooh! I did it! I came just in time! What you missed: a military op killed Jason, then when the coroner was disecting him, his heart started beating and he possessed the coroner. That's just how it is sometimes! Apparently! Oooh, this is like a scraplet horror fantasy novel I read like, vorns ago It is? Like, the body snatching? Oh! ... are they smoking in the cafe??? is that allowed? Used to be. does everyone do that or is he just doing it because Apparently they're all just...like this? That's how it is. ... Can I smoke in here? I would prefer you did not. Oh, good, important information to be imparted later!  I'm sure everyone will survive until then Since when do you smoke, Smokescreen? Well, one or two times, Wheeljack gave me something and it wasn't bad! "haha just a joke, only like eighty people have died there" This certainly is how people talk. Uh. Ugh. I mean, I wouldn't want to be in the tent after whatever slag they're getting int-oh "I'll just sleep outside and listen." Like any good friend on an awkward camping trip. Of course. Nothing says "third wheel" like being the one who gets to sleep OUTSIDE the tent, half-naked You'd think they might have brought an extra tent. Sometimes, you just want to frag a tree .....*What?* Not everyone has your love of plant life, Smokescreen. What? NO I didn't mean it like that! Like... Some humans really are tree huggers? Nothing wrong with tree-fraggin! . . . . There was a human in the last film that frags pumpkins. We thought of you. Woojit, I'm gonna find an owl movie just for you. It won't be anywhere near as painful as said last movie. Unless it is a found footage owl movie. "nah, we don't need a condom, we're not surviving the movie anyway" w Primus, was the last movie THAT bad? It was wretched. Just intolerable. From what we saw, it seemed to be about 10 minutes of plot drawn out into an hour and a half of movie With zero (0) likeable characters I have to admit, this wasn't really what I was expecting This movie's just all over the place. Oh dear. It's the worst Friday movie. But still entertaining in a terrible way. No, I don't know why this is happening. That is definitely how reflections work. Magic! Wait, this is a friday movie? Yes. Jason Goes to Hell, part 9. Oh, I thought all Jasons were just like that. ... I saw a Jason movie with a bot not that long ago, huh! So... did he shave him out of like... vanity?  he didn't want a moustache? christ The classic 'A body swapped Jason killed that lady' misunderstanding. Agent Scully! Man, how many people do you think were like "jason swapped bodies with me :(" in court ..... is jason the baby No? Oh so that's the asshole bounty hunter or whatever Now I want, no, need Jason to be the baby. I know, right? With a tiny, baby sized knife and hockey mask? What the hell is wrong with this guy Who doesn't enjoy breaking fingers to pay off the exposition dump? Man, I'm pretty sure I would've gotten kicked out the autobots and broken everyone's fingers if I broke someone's fingers everytime I started expositioning It sounds like a Soundwave method more than anything. Yep. Its name is Jason. I hope he didn't just taste that Facebook Oh good, the Necronomicon See, because it had a face in the cover-- How did he manage to steal a body? what the fuck Hopefully HE'LL--yep, guess so! Bleh Well, that takes care  of that. She's crying because her shower stream is so weak. Kidnap her. Women love that. I feel like maybe he could have accomplished more by calling her from jail or something Instead of all these shenanigans oh UGH UGH. UGH. Are you not entertained? Uh oh Hah! ...Did that do it?  Did the right person kill him? Nope. Ah Jason was more interesting when he only cared about his mother and his lake. I did mention this was worst Friday movie. ...I'm not sure that WAS him I mean, Jason hasn't actually... talked, so far It was a terrible worm thing, this whole time. I didn't think he could downgrade from the spaghetti-gut rotting corpse but here we are. Ohhhh shit There he is! I have to admit, I wasn't expecting that Oh what that pit sure came in handy Not the puppet hands! And there you have it. What a twist, kind of! Well! Still better nonsense than the last one. A marked improvement. And to think I thought this movie was going to be about him going to hell and, I don't know, stabbing demons or something. You're not the only one. I want a toyota beef! That would have been more fun, and that's not allowed. Hehehe. TWO things are wrong in the picture! ... isn't the kid pushing floating The boy is floating! What What. ... Does primus does primus have a good question doesn't he hang out on tumblr?  you could ask him next time you see him Oh yes, that sounds like a good idea. That won't go wrong, I'm sure. Technically I didn't say it was a good idea It's an awesome idea! Primus adores me Then go right ahead, Smokescreen. You got it! It'll at least go better than calling Unicron a dilf ...You called Unicron a what a dilf? Why did you do that? To bug him? Oh, well then. One day that may come back to literally bite you in the aft. Well, that's all I've got! Well, once again, thanks for the stream! woojit woojit woojit I've got a horror movie for us for sometime! Thank you for that stream salvaging suggestion, Starscream. Oh, what? *listening face* The Brave Little Toaster? Yes, thanks! You know the sene It was the least I could offer. This was much better than the other thing Absolutely not. I'm not that sadistic. Oh. ... Am I that sadistic Oh my It's, uh, it's a pretty gruesome movie in some ways I'm sure nobody thinks you're sadistic, Smokescreen I think he tries. Oh, he already left.  Unless that's Kast being weird again. The Brave Little Toaster is the sadistic one. Well, goodnight! Goodnight, All. Good night, everyone!

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 10: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: And his uncle Benjamin who gets eaten by a cannibal! And he's just so angry.

O: [Laughter] Can you blame him?

[Intro Music Plays]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs.  

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 10: War of the Dinobots. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Mm-hmm

O: So, we open with Chip viewing a ‘dangerous’ meteor through a telescope.

S: We got our boy, Chip, back!

O: I’m glad, he's- Chip’s a good boy.

S: He's the best! He's the best human so far.

O: Yeah.

S: I think he will continue to be the best human-

O: I have a hard time picking between him and Raoul, to be honest.

S: Yeah.

O: I really like Raoul but I also really like Chip so I have a hard time picking. And like, I feel like Raoul might win just ever so slightly because I like him and Tracks together more but Chip still- he's up there. He's like my second favorite, if nothing else.

S: We need both of them and Carly to show up in an episode in some new series

O: I know!  And they never do in G1 which is really disappointing because, like, I like all these characters but we never actually- like, I think we get to see Chip and Carly interact and we get to see like Chi- oh, not Chip-

S: Spike and Raoul?

O: Spike and Carly, and Chip and Spike but I don't think we really get to see a lot of the other ones interact.

S: Yeah.

O: Which is a pity. Anyway, Chip calls the Autobots because they’re ones who can save the Earth from this meteor, apparently?

S: Nevermind that it apparently lands more or less safely but who the hell cares? Spike is chilling in Optimus’s cab on a ride to the obs- observatory, you know, like a- like teenage boys do.

O: No worries, dad, I'm not going out drinking and driving! I'm just gonna ride in my giant alien robot friend! Optimus’ burning conviction to save the earth once he, ah, you know, figures out what's going on shines through as he clenches his fist and it's covered with red electricity!

S: How very anime of you, Optimus.

O: Indeed. Uh, Optimus decides they need to get to the meteor before the Decepticons do because it might be a power source. Apparently. And opts to take the Dinobots as back up.

S: I don't think they thought this through. At all?

O: [Laughter] I don’t think they did either!

S: Meanwhile, Megatron totally rages against the machine.

O: Or at least the fact of the Dinobots kicked their ass.

S: [Laughter] Yeah. So it's Tuesday night- time for Starscream and Megatron's weekly tiff.

O: Of course! Megatron insults Starscreams’ strategies and orders Soundwave to find the Dinobots weak points.

S: You know, as one does.

O: Of course.

S: Soundwave flies off to spy on the Dinobots.

O: Slash Autobots.

S: Yes, the Autobots, sorry.

O: Which, of course, means he lands near them. And then Soundwave, a giant 30-foot tall robot, does this by sneaking against the side of a building. It is great.

S: Oh, I feel we should probably mention that the meteor, like, lands in, like, the middle of this sort of bombed out looking town which is across the river from a perfectly ordinary looking town, or whatever.

O: Did I miss that part where it was across the river?

S: There's a bridge or something I think? Well, it's separated, somehow, I don't remember.

O: Regardless, yeah, it basically landed in this like very bombed out looking place perfectly fine? So I don't know why there was this whole “They've got a save the earth.”

S: Yeah but so, yeah, Soundwave is basically sneaking through ruins.

O: Yes but of course he's still a 30 foot robot so, you know, he sends out a good old listening tentacle.

S: It makes snake sound effects. It's kind of weird.

O: I love it.

S: The Autobots are trying to get a twofer for putting their allies in danger today as they brought along both Chip and Spike.

O: Because that was a good idea. And okay, Soundwave has been beat out for worse naming schemes to fucking Spike. Spike suggests they named the meteorite after Chip as the meteorroni chipperoni?

S:  Meteorini Chiporoni or whatever.

O: Oh god, it's terrible. Anyway, shut up Spike!

S: It's a pretty fucking big meteor, I guess? About the size of Optimus Prime though whether it was bigger when it was- before, you know, burning through the atmosphere is another thing entirely and I mean honestly it probably should have, like, had a crater.

O: Yeah, it really didn’t. Like it might have but it wasn't very deep. Uh, they extract a sample from the meteorite--via shooting at it.

S: Extraction via gun. It's the fastest but definitely not the safest way to do this when you're afraid that goddamn thing is gonna blow up.

O: We don’t know that yet.

S: Well, they keep talking about how it's possibly dangerous soooo.

O: You know, I sometimes question Wheeljack’s science credentials.

S: Except isn’t Optimus shooting the thing? I don’t remember.

O: Maybe it was, but Wheeljack’s the one who asked for a sample.

S: True. And the Dinobots are left behind to guard the meteor, as one does.

O: Of course.

S: Chip describes seeing the Autobots transform as ‘outrageous’!

O: What show does he think he's in? Jem and the Holograms?

S: Well, it could be argued that they’re all in the same universe.

O: [Laughter] We’re not getting into that, but yes!

S: So they just decide to leave their young, impressionable, and not so smart babies behind without supervision to guard the meteor.

O: What could go wrong, am I right?

S: I mean they stick them- they leave them in a closet most of the time so, ok, no one get- no one ever gave them the stranger-danger talk.

O: [Laughter] So true.

S: Seriously, they couldn't leave Wheeljack and/or Ratchet with them? Ratchet? Someone?

O: You would think? I mean, like, clearly they shouldn’t be left here by themselves.  Hence, Optimus despite trying to offline them a few episodes back says he's pleased with the Dinobots and is going to order two more.

S: [Sighs] Their family planning is not good.

O: No, no it’s not. Once back at the base, Chip suggests a Stegosaurus and a Pteranodon for the two new dinos. Ratchet and Wheeljack seem to agree with this.

S: They think it's a hot idea.

O: [Laughter] They just wanna make more babies.

S: Yeah, and Sparkplug asks if there's anything Chip doesn't know about. Spike and Chip just, like, share a look that seems to say, “Good question.”

O: Chip: Resident super genius. Back at the Dinobots, Soundwave continues spying by initiating a brain scan with a scanner that pops out of his head.

S: [Sighs]

O: [Laughter]

S: Because, of course, we've got a- we've got the weird. We've got this listening tentacle and now we’ve got brain scan time. I mean, yeah, okay you're psychic but whatever.

O: I mean, at least we've seen the listening tentacle pop up a few times at this point.

S: This breaks down to Slag wants to fight, Grimlock who wants to be the boss man and Sludge just wants to follow whoever’s strongest cuz apparently, well, he's not good at critical thinking.

O: He’s not.

S: But I don't think any of them are especially good at that. Though we did look at the tech specs and Grimlock is indeed the smartest of them.

O: Or at least in the toys- in the comics that, uh, begs to be seen if that's relevant. If that's the exact same stats here.

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron seems to translate this information slightly differently, with Slag is hostile, Grimlock is arrogant and Sludge is stupid. Poor, poor Sludge.

S: Yeah.

O: The evil plan for today is to use this information to make them fight against Optimus Prime and steal the meteor.

S: So we're just gonna make babies do shit today.

O: I'm gonna go with yes?

S: Yeah, yeah.

O: I remain convinced Megatron has a bling obsession as he is way too damn excited about big shiny rocks.

S: I mean there were those rubies. There was that giant thing in South America. There's these- I feel like there have been more rocks. There's going to be more rocks in the future.

O: Yeah ju- he has a thing for bling. Optimus just needs to get him bling and then propose to Megatron and the war would be over. Just give the man his bling.

S: Yeah.

O: The Seekers attack the Dinobots, who defend themselves.

S: They gave the babies guns, probably with little to no proper training on said weapons because the Autobots are morons.

O: [Laughter] Well, the Autobots just aren't good with Sparklings, me thinks.

S: Yeah.

O: Megatron lands and several things happen all at once. Namely, that Megatron takes three dyno beams/fire to the face with absolutely no issue what-so-fucking-ever. He literally tosses his fusion cannon off to the side, he basically is like, “Why can't we just be friends? I just want to talk to you guys.”

S: The Dinobots fall for Megatron's flattery as he tells them they are stronger than him and stronger than all the other Autobots.

O: Leading Grim to reach the conclusion that, “He, Grimlock should be leader.” Oh you idiots, my poor, poor dumb Dino idiots.

S: Poor Dino babies.

O: They deserve better.

S: And meanwhile the Seekers take off with the meteorite that the Dinobots were guarding. Like, they literally toss out these, like, grappling hook things from their bellies and they latch onto the meteor and it just looks really goofy.

O: Ah, back at base- are ya ready for a montage?

S: We’re ready for a montage!

O: We- we see that plans are underway to build the new Dinobots.

S: God, Sparkplug--is holding a document that says, “outline plan desge.”

O: [Laughter] Someone couldn’t spell design.

S: Or they couldn't fit it and they didn't care. Or they just didn't speak English or something.

O: Or they were, like, nobody will see this. And then DVDs came along and whoops! Making babies though, it's totally something the whole family can enjoy together.

S: [Laughter] Yeah, and Wheeljack calls Optimus to his lab to tell them that the meteorite is unstable as fuck and could literally explode at any second!

O: This is important because we need to show off Trailbreaker’s super-secret awesome ability to create force fields which he promptly uses to contain the conveniently timed explosion that happens immediately after.

S: I mean we saw the force shield stuff when they were off on Cybertron with the acid rain that time, so this isn't exactly a surprise but it's a new use of it.

O: I guess.

S: Because, yeah, he just surrounds the thing and then it blows itself up and that's fine.

O: Everything's fine. The base is fine. Wheeljack is fine. Optimus is fine.

S: There isn't even, like, a smear or whatever. I don’t know. And so, hey! They learned something from the first Dinobot disaster, so no showing off the Dinobots indoors by the Ark [I meant, Teletraan 1. ~Specs] They're gonna show Swoop and Snarl off outside instead of next to freaking Teletraan 1!

O: [Laughter] You know, the thing that controls their entire base.

S: They learned a thing!

O: They did learn a thing! Swoop and Snarl seem to be slightly smarter than their compatriots, with Swoop using a more grammatically correct sentence than we normally hear from a Dinobot.

S: And the new Dinobots are solar powered, at least Snarl is. They probably both are and I guess go back to the intelligence thing apparently Swoop and Snarl have “7” according to their toy tech specs. Well, “7” in intelligence.

O: Which is still more than the other Dinobots, aside from Grimlock, right?

S: Yeah, Grimlock was an “8.” I think Sludge was a “3,” which just makes me sad.

O: Poor Sludge, poor baby.

S: Yeah, not sure about-

O: I just want to give Sludge a hug.

S: Yeah. Not sure about, uh, Slag or Slug. I feel like he was a “5.”

O: Maybe he was.

S: But I don't remember. And- oh god- and then Ratchet and Wheeljack just tell basically everybody to try and take out the Dinobots cause-

O: I'm not! I’m not sure who I think this is being mean to: the Dinobots or to everyone else.

S: Cuz the Dinobots do a number on everyone. Yeah. Sideswipe is super goddamn excited to fight and gets a pretty good punch on Swoop in.

O: Swoop and Snarl pretty much wipe out everybody else, though.

S: Yeah, I think someone gets picked up and dropped and... Yeah, none of the Autobots are having a grand old time. And then Optimus shows up where they left the other three Dinobots, who are now missing along with the meteorite because we saw what happened earlier.

O: Exactly! And we get to see his tiny antenna pop out of his helm as he calls the base. It’s great!

S: The Dinobots then pop out of nowhere and triple-team Optimus. Optimus makes a plea for the Dinobots to stop this but naturally this fails. Um. [clears throat] Optimus is also making strange moaning noises again through this. I wish he would stop. [Laughter]

S: Oh god, I'm not sure how either of us could, like, do the keyboard smashing noise.

O: [Laughter] I- that was. I knew I was gonna have to be the one to say that anyway, so I was just like [incoherent noise]!

S: And so Optimus is knocked on his ass. Like, he's literally knocked into some sort of fissure or something?

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah, um. Well, he’s knocked on his aft or his ass or whatever. Grimlock shows a smidgen of discomfort at the idea of murdering a helpless opponent, because, apparently, he has some sort of honour even though he is a small child- basically, a very young person who has not had a whole lot of, um, moral education.

O: As Optimus puts it when he gets back up, he blathers something about “traces of Autobot training.” [Laughter]

S: What training? You stuffed them in a closet!

O: In the next shot, Grimlock has clearly stolen Optimus’ gun as he reports in to Megatron about Prime’s defeat.

S: Because he literally just has it under his arm?

O: Yeah, he has it. Yeah, yeah, I feel a little weirded out that I can actually tell Prime's gun apart from everybody else’s now, but I can.

S: That's what happens.

O: That’s what happens when you play the freakin PS4 game so much and you end up playing as everybody including Optimus Prime despite only wanting to play as Wheeljack! I actually feel bad because I'm like, Grimlock’s in that one. I love Grimlock. I think I don't like playing as him because he's hard. He's basically constantly swapping between robot mode and Dino mode the entire time. It's kind of a pain in the ass.

S: Hmm.

O:  Elsewhere, we see Megatron overseeing the filling of Energon cubes from the meteor or where they’ve taken the meteor anyway.

S: Yeah, Soundwave is making more Tupperware cubes again and then seems to defy all laws of physics as he shoots the meteorite and, somehow, this causes a flow of energy to fill up the Energon cubes.

O: Despite them being, like, not near each other, it's very strange.

S: Yeah, it’s kind of- kind of kooky.

O: And, for once, Starscream makes an accurate observation that the meteorite energy seems unstable.

S: And Megatron's a dick about it.

O: Of course! Nevermind that Starscream is, in fact, a scientist, but whatever!

S: Then the Dinobots show up dragging Optimus with them, you know, like the dead weight he is right now.

O: [Laughter] Ouch! Uh, Megatron is rather pissed that Optimus isn’t fucking dead.

S: And Starscream says that Grimlock will never destroy Optimus, begging Megatron not to listen to Grim.

O: Give the bot credit, where credit is due- he is on a roll today. Starscream is on a roll today.

S: He is, and Optimus also attempts to tell Megatron that the meteorite’s unstable, so that's two people telling him it's unstable.

O: Yes, Megatron ignores this, too.

S: At the Ark, Wheeljack has tracked down where the Decepticons have taken the meteor and the Autobots send out Snarl and Swoop to help.

O: Megatron’s unstable Energon stash finally explodes sending Reflector and poor Soundwave flying.

S: There were some really funny photos from that.

O: There were, it was pretty great.

S: Mmhmm. And Starscream gives Megatron his best, “I told you so!”

O: [Laughter] Swoop and Snarl show up via flying and Megatron orders the other three Dinobots to transform and attack.

S: The Dinobots fight, Swoop getting the short end of the stick fight-wise because one of his wings gets chomped on.

O: Yeah,

S: At least a few times.

O: It looks painful, poor baby.

S: Poor kid. Like, he's just woken up, he's like-

O: And now his older brothers are chomping on him!

S: He's now an hour old or something.

O: [Laughter] Starscream and Megs flee as the meteorite threatens to explode and Optimus tackles Grimlock out of the way of the explosion.

S: This looks an awful lot like that bit in Fantasia with all the dinosaurs.

O: [Chuckles] Grimlock, understandably, is now pissed at Megatron.

S: And Megatron does the smart thing and orders a retreat to escape the angry t-rex.

O: Angry, big t-rex.

S: Yeah.

O: I'm glad a camera, a cassette and a cassette deck can fly. [Laughter]

S: Yeah, and then the cavalry arrives in the form of the rest of the Autobots. Of course.

O: Of course! And Grimlock apologizes for, you know, trying to kill Optimus.

S: Optimus Prime kind of ignores this apology. It's like, “I'm not forgiving or forgetting,” as sort of an undertone here.

O: Seems like, he’s like, “I'm going to give you some long-winded speech that's not going to address your apology in any way.”

S: Yeah,

O: And that's the end of episode so we're now up to five Dinobots because more is always better when it comes to dinosaurs.

S: Yeah.

O: Join us next time for the beginning of another three parter, The Ultimate Doom, Part 1. Or the episode that third Bay movie was basically based on.

S: Yeah, or the trio of episodes or whatever.

O: Yeah [Laughter].

S: Ok, so we've got the fanfiction recommendations.

O: Yup!

S: Gotta do it, there's only the two of them and they're both by the same person. One of which is a sequel to something that I recommended earlier. Alright, so for a first recommendation we have “Art in Me” by Nightwind. Continuity's G1 cartoon, rated K. It’s Gen, there's no pairings. Our characters are the Dinobots, Prowl, Red Alert, Wheeljack, and Ratchet.

S: Okay, so “Art in Me” is a sequel to a story that Nightwind had written earlier called “Vigil” and so the summary is, “The Autobots might have a budding Picasso on their hands. Who might it be?”

O: [Chuckles]

S: And so our theme for actually both of these recs or recommendations were “Dinobot shenanigans”-

O: Yes!

S: Because we now have all five Dinobots and as, um, I’ve been keeping track of things were in a series or one-shots or whatever, this is a sequel to Vigil, also by Nightwind.

S: And our second recommendation- there's only the two of them today- is Crosses to Bear, as I have said before, also by Nightwind. G1 cartoon continuity, it's rated T. It's Gen, there's no pairings. Our characters are the Dinobots and various Autobots. And in summary, “It’s Swoop and a few other crazy Autobots versus a really big chunk of rock with Track's life hanging in the balance. Rating upped a bit to due to Trailbreaker’s gratuitous use of a certain expletive.”

S: Expletive. God.

O: Expleti- Expletive.

S: [Laughter] A certain curse word!

O: There you go!

S: Okay, and yeah. Dinobot shenanigans and that's the two fanfiction recommendation. Do we have fan art recommendations?

O: No, it’s an even numbered episode.

S: Ah.

O: Well, we’ll have fan art next week, though!

S: Yep.

O: Well, next episode, not next--we post every two weeks but you know what I mean.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort at Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, Stitcher and YouTube, just to name a few. Till next time!

S: I'm Specs!

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music Plays]

#g1 episode 10 #transcript #afterspark podcast

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 4: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

Stinger

S: Any time that we do these recordings my sense of humor is like a 12 year old child's.

O: [Laughter]

[Intro Music Plays]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode-by-episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon! I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: Today we're going to be talking about episode number 4: Transport to Oblivion. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: So last time- if you'll remember, uh, we finished the pilot for the original Transformers cartoon which involved them leaving Cybertron, falling asleep on Earth for 4 million years, waking up and Decepticon-Autobot shenanigans.

S: Yeah.

O: Welp, all that stuff, forget everything you just learned, because almost none of that matters now. Ah, you know how the Autobots were leaving at the end of the pilot? They were going to go back to Cybertron?

S: And revitalize it?  Yeah, that didn't happen.

O: It's not going to happen. They're just going to be chilling on Earth for the time being. So, you know, we open up back at the Ark: Cliffjumper is seeing things. And by things, we mean Decepticons.

S: Yep, and this is why you don't look into the sun kids. Meanwhile, Ironhide's kind of topless again. I mean honestly his paint job kind of looks like he's wearing a halter top so, that doesn't really help. [Laughter]

O: It- it keeps fluctuating but we're pretty sure he's supposed to be red on top but he keeps popping up grey, periodically, so eh?

S: Yeah.

O: Anyway, Cliffjumper, uh, shoots an unfriendly rock, which falls down and nearly takes out Optimus and Ironhide, and then Ironhide--- so, so you know, Cliffjumper’s like, “Ahh-- I thought it was a Decepticon,” And Ironhide’s like, “The Decepticons are gone for good.” He says last words-ingly.

S: Says Ironhide last words-ingly.

O: Thankfully, Optimus seems to have learned his lesson from the Pilot and is, you know, kind of like, “Umm, not so sure.”

S: He's- lets- basically like let's be cautious about this.

O: Right, you know the smart thing.

S: Yeah. And meanwhile Megatron preens about fooling the Autobots.

O: And fooling them good.

S: Um--hmm, and I think we see, like, this really fantastic underwater city that the Decepticons have built in the meantime.

O: So, I think it's, it's like the remains of their ship.

S: Well, it's built around the remains of their ship.

O: Or something.  Anyway, they've done a lot of work and, as I previously stated, uh, in the last episode Soundwave was able, clearly, to bring the ship down without completely destroying it cuz they're using it as their base.

S: Yeah, and, honestly, the Decepticons just seem like they're a hell of a lot more handy at building things than the Autobots.

O: Ehhh--Except Wheeljack, Maybe?  Ehhh--

S: Yeah.

O: Back on Cybertron we see Shockwave again, who's chilling as his gun.

S: He's shooting randomly at something? It kind of looks like he’s shooting at the ground and then he transforms, and part of him just sort of nopes out screen right. When he transforms into robot mode and it's like, is it a monocle- is it a monocle for his gun? And then he just kind of drags himself into the other room and there's a really great tired walk, which is relevant to an upcoming point.

O: [Laughs] So, apparently for the past, oh, four million years Shockwave has been trying to call Megatron.

S: Yep. Talk about needy.

O: And, you know, so he tries again only this time Megatron's, you know, actually awake. So Megs is like, “Holy fuck, you're still alive.” [Laughter]

S: And, and it-it's like home phones you.

O: [Laughter] Uh, Megs has many titles, uh, we find out during this conversation- one of which is, future ruler of the universe. Self-proclaimed, clearly.

S: And Shockwave is basically dying of starvation, this is the relevant point.

O: I guess most of Cybertron is, I think is what you said?

S: Yeah, the implication or maybe it's just a very wide-ranging headcanon is that sometime after the Autobot and Decepticon leadership left Cybertron that basically Cybertron itself, or whoever was in charge of it- so Shockwave, I guess, started shutting everyone down in order to conserve energy because the planet’s not orbiting a sun or anything. It's just flying through space with no power source, so...

O: Regardless, uh, we find out that the Decepticons are almost done with their shiny new space Bridge. uh, basically so they can shuffle back and forth from Earth to Cybertron.

S: Yep.

O: Uh, we get the return of Soundwave creeping on humans. This time with 90% more rock and roll.

S: And then the magical race changing man because someone got their color notes mixed up. He goes from, uh, black in the first scene, to white in the second, and then it's back to black. Everyone, like, all of the blue collar workers in here, all have the same sort of outfit that Spike and Sparkplug wear. So, they must be fashion trendsetters or something.

O: [Laughter]

S: I mean, I know it's just a really simple design. Going logically, as far as the animation goes.

O: Right, right, but yeah.  So basically Soundwave has infiltrated a solar energy plant, uh, and transforms out of, uh, his boombox mode and releases Laserbeak, um, which today is Operation: Destruction. He's used that one before right? He's just reusing them now, he's just reusing them!

S: He is, he is and then blasting through a window shutter? Enter the Decepticons, the rest of the Decepticons. Cuz, I mean, this obviously isn't a door because it has a freaking lip.

O: Yeah, it's really strange I was looking at it and it looked kind of like a garage door but it wasn't because there, it wasn't flush to the ground. It was very strange.

S: Um-hmm, um-hmm.

O: Also, it begs the question- if they were just going to blast in anyway, what did Soundwave going in as a boombox really do?

S: Social engineering, I don't know--we've got that post.

O: The only thing I can think of, is maybe he'd been there for a while and was spying on them buu-- I just don't know like, he--oh who knows.  Anyway, moving on. We cut to Spike in Jazz.

S: They're in traffic and Spike’s not using a seatbelt.

O: Actually! We looked this up. Seat belt laws didn't start becoming commonplace in the US until the 80s or the early 90’s, depending on the state so when this was made that was actually probably pretty normal and, I don't know about you but when I was a kid I remember all the, ”Wear a seat-belt,” stuff, and I know some of it is still out there but I feel like there's less of it maybe?

S: Um--hmm, cuz it's pretty normalized now, and also going from- apparently something that I heard about the new Mystery Skulls thing- is they might have just decided they didn't want to, you know, animate seatbelts.

O: I'm-- okay, that's a fair statement.

S: It's a possibility, but it's probably, it's more likely, you know that it wasn't you know--

O: Culturally, a thing.

S: Yeah.  Um--hmm.

O: So anyway, Jazz is trying to destroy a child's eardrum, apparently, with the power of really loud music and Spike in the front seat.

S: Yep, and remember he's 14. I still, I still can't believe that he's actually 14.

O: It's okay, Officer, my car is driving me!

S: Um--hmm, um-hmm. Oh, and he kind of nearly throws Spike through the windshield when, basically he has to slow down really, really fast. Like, there's three inches between him and the car in front of him.

O: Yeah, Jazz is a very exact driver. Basically they hit a traffic jam, uh, and something is clearly causing chaos within the city and then Jazz does a totally illegal u-turn and zooms back to the Ark.  Uh, so, apparently the city’s losing power due to Decepticon shenanigans at the solar plant.

S: You think they'd, you know, build their own so-- you know solar plant somewhere in the ocean, where no one would know. And I mean oh, God, these guys are so handy and apparently they can't do that.

O: Well, it's just like, why would you want to tell the Autobots you're still alive? [Laughter] This- this is the part I'm confused about.

S: Obviously this is to facilitate robot flirting AKA punching.

O: Obviously. Um, so, you know once they figure this out, Prime’s like, “Oh, fuck. Megatron's still alive.”

S: And he sounds oddly breathless about it too, so going back to the robot flirting.

O: Robot flirting yeah. And we get another toy roll call, this time with more Gears bullying the Bee. Alternatively, Gears is just kind of a dick.

S: Yeah, yeah.

O: Ah, Soundwave is gathering dat Energon with his patented cubes again.

S: Yep, and the Autobots burst through a skylight.

O: Why is that even there?

S: Obviously for natural light, and I mean Ratchets leading the charge? Like okay...

O: Oh, sure put your medic out front, oh, it's fine.

S: He likes kicking people.

O: [Laughter]

S: Obviously, he's had to take out his aggression on, you know, the glass first.

O: [Laughter] Okay, so you're telling me someone pissed off Ratchet, shoved him to the front of the line and said, “Get them,” to--about the Decepticons.

S: Hey, I wouldn't--

O: I'd watch that.

S: I wouldn't expect anything less from the Autobots, some of them do weird stuff.

O:They do. So, uh, we get into the fight proper and Cliffjumper, the maniac- if you remember, tries to take on Megatron by himself. Aah, Cliffjumper, literally, only comes up to Megatron's waist.

S: It looks, hmm, bad.

O: Anyway!

S: The placement...

O: Cliffjumper punches Megatron in the nads.

S: [Laughter]

O: Oh, sure now we get a new sound effect *CLANG*! Megatron's Nads are that badass apparently, they don't get the bonk sound effect.

S: [Laughter] Bonk! [Specs precedes to completely lose it]

O: I think you mean clank.

S: Clang! [still losing it] Okay, I am calm.

O: [Laughter] Okay, so, ah, Cliffjumper gets his ass handed to him via Megatron. So we get more Cybertronian flirting with Megatron and Optimus Prime. Basically they're punching each other again.

S: And then the Seekers escape with Energon and so, they’re basically just holding the energon to their tummies and they transform and it goes away.

O: [Laughter] It goes in their tummies. Anyway, Megatron gets a competent handler today, hello Soundwave.

S: Yep, yep. [Laughter] And Ironhide takes a hit for Prime.

O: “I used to be a war hero, then I took a fusion cannon to the chest!” Back at base, Ratchet is repairing him.

S: Ratchets’ patented tender loving care as he shuts off Ironhide’s voice box with, you know, a button?

O: Apparently that exists and good man.

S: It's like a button in his torso or something? And he's just like,”Don’t you sass me!”

O: [Laughter] Nobody sasses Ratchet, they'll regret it.

S: Umm-hm.  And then Bumblebee is sent out to scout out the Decepticons’ plans.

O: And he takes Spike, like Spike comes up to him and says, “Hey, can I come with you?” And Bumblebee’s like, “Sure, why not?” And I'm like, why? WHY? Leave the squishy at home!

S: And they, like, he just sort of goes off roading.

O: Randomly!

S: In exactly the right place to find the Decepticons.

O: Okay. Can we pause for a moment and ask ourselves, why is the Autobots Recon guy BRIGHT YELLOW!?!

S: Well, I guess Mirage, Mr. Invisible, is indisposed at the moment, and Jazz could have also done it considering he's the head of Special Ops, at least in this universe.

O: But no we send the bright yellow, freaking Volkswagen bug.  Anyway, so they go into, they call it a river bed but it--

S: It's, no, that's not a riverbed, that's either a giant canyon or a weird-ass giant culvert, not a riverbed.

O: Yeah it doesn't look like a river bed. Decepticons are testing their Spacebridge to Cybertron. Uh, the test fails- S: -and then Starscream mouths off again!

O: Must be Tuesday. So apparently, uh, the test failed. Uh, but having a driver for the space Bridge vehicle will fix everything.

S:Why? I mean do you need some sort of consciousness to direct the Spacebridge?

O: I think their implication was someone would be driving the space vehicle but I really don't feel like, they are later, you know, which is weird.

S: They're just- Considering what happens with Megatron, he's not driving shit.

O: [Laughter] No. But Bumblebee and Spike are like, “Oh shit, that's Decepticons,” and they attempt to escape, badly. Uh, falling into the canyon with the Decepticons.

S: So the thing is, um, they- they get up close to the edge of the culvert and they look down and are like, “Oh shit, no, we got to leave,” and then Bumblebee just, freaking stands up and tries to transform and then they like--

O: And then they slide down.

S: And the thing is, he tries to transform in direct view the Decepticons and it's just like- what the hell?

O: Yeah, you couldn't go like 10 ft back from the edge where they, maybe, wouldn't have seen you or something?.

S: Yeah, and they just-- he slides down the edge of this freaking culvert.

O: I know it's like, floomph!  De- deposited right in the Decepticons laps basically.

S: Yeah, right at Megatron's feet and then, they're volun-told they're going to be Spacebridge volunteers. I still like volun-told.

O: I do too.

S: Shockwave informs Megatron it'll take 3000 Astro seconds until they can use the Spacebridge again.

O: What the fuck is an astro second?

S: I don't know, I mean, I think I tried doing math to figure out how many, like, minutes 3000 seconds was.

O: I want to say like, okay assuming it's a second, it's like 50 minutes or something?

S: Something like that which seems like it's a really long time--

O: And why would you count in seconds?

S: I don't know, they're dumb robots. I love them but they're dumb.

O: Anyway, so like they get shoved into the--the, uh, Spacebridge vehicle and somehow they escape, by Bumblebee transforming in the vehicle and they kind of bust out and I don't even, uh--why--urgh, it's just. Madness, is what it is. It's Madness.

S: Yeah.

O: They're running away and then Bee turns into a car and somehow Spike is keeping with Bee who is in car mode.

S: And I know a human can outrun a horse over a short distance but, not a car not something that can go like 60 miles per hour after 4 seconds, geez.

O: Operation: Capture, as Soundwave sends out Ravage to chase after these two idiots. Hello, Ravage, my beautiful son.

S: And then Spike trips.

O: Shocker.  Ah, Bee attempts an escape

S: The environment animation in the sequence is surprisingly good. Frankly, I want to know how much mon--moolah they spent on that.

O: [Laughter]  Or why. The why is the biggest question to me.

S: Yeah, seeing as it's a weird decision to animate this background because I don't think they do it again?

O: I don't think they do it very often if they do it later, so. Bumblebee hides in a cave, this fails because he climbs out and pops out right in front of Starscream and Megatron and then they hold him down and Megatron uses his brain sucking chest tentacle to alter Bumblebees’ memories. You heard me.

S: This might be some sort of, like, weird future reference to the Robo Smasher, but probably not, probably not.

O: I'm just saying, there was a tentacle involved.

S: Yep, and this is a grand scheme by the Decepticons to lure the Autobots into a trap.

O: This works.

S: At some point Sparkplug declares that Spike is not going to Robo Summer Camp AKA Cybertron. Never mind that his life is already basically robot summer camp, sooo...

O: All robots all the time.

S: Pretty much!

O: So, Prime is, somewhat apprehensive about going into a random cave but Bumblebee is apparently, “Never wrong, Prime,” according to Ironhide. Uh, and then lo and behold the Decepticons attack.

S: And wreak havoc upon this delicate cave ecosystem.

O: Okay, there's a lot to unpack in this scene, so let's go down some of the greatest hits. [clears throat]  1) Jazz is apparently excellent at baseball, as he home runs a laser blast back at Starscream with a stalagmite we- 2) we regret to inform you the new Ratchet toy comes with a handy bird capture net, which he captures Laserbeak with.

S: What does he even with it the rest of the time?

O: Captures patients?

S: I guess. [3)] And then bonk! The return of Bonk.

O: [Laughter] And 4) Megatron summons a buzzsaw from his hand, which he then shoots at Optimus Prime, naturally the only thing this does is it frees Prime from a tiny rock that was holding him captive and, last but not least [5)], Shockwave calls Megatron at an inopportune time to tell him his space bridge is ready.

S: Actually we could probably use this amount of time to calculate the amount of-- how long freaking astro seconds are.

O: Well, no, we can't because like, presumably we-we weren't with them the entire time--

S: Ohh...dammit, yeah.  Dammit. [sigh]

O: Uh, Megatron orders a retreat and Starscream says, “Starscream Retreat? Never!” Lying to himself and to the audience. In order to trap the Autobots in the cave Starscream assists Megatron in getting his rocks off to block the entrance. You heard me.

S: [Snickers] And the Autobots regroup and blast out of the cave except the rocks go in towards the cave- towards them instead of out. [sigh]  They had to save money somewhere.

O: After that like, amazing, uh, uh, environment animation. They're like, “Okay, just screw the rocks, man.”

S: And then Ratchet notices Bumblebees’ memories have been tampered with because part of Bumblebees chest armor is askew, or something. Soo, uh--

O: Ohhh, bad touch.

S: Yeah and I don't know he sort of shoots the stupid little laser beam--

O: He's like, “Oh yeah, there seems to be some tampering going on here.” Thanks Ratch.

S: And like fixes it and Bumblebee remembers the correct location of the Spacebridge.

O: Um,  so back at the Spacebridge, uh, now Shockwaves talking about minutes instead of Astro seconds, who explained Earth time to him?.

S: Maybe Thundercracker did? I don't know. Maybe one of the cassettes, maybe Ravage got on the horn?

O: [Laughter] Ravage is just like, “Listen, counting them in seconds is dumb.” Anyway, Spike is shoved back into the Spacebridge vehicle and they strap him in this time.

S: Aah, yes someone finally invented a freaking safety harness in this silly show and it's the Decepticons.

O: [Laughter]

S: The Autobots arrived and another fight breaks out.

O: This is the third freaking fight in a 20-minute cartoon.

S: Yep.

O: So, then, Ironhide almost shoots Spike, and Optimus actually does, but not before weirdly adjusting the barrel of his gun.

S: Like all camera lens. You know like one of those fancy macro lenses or something?

O: Yeah, like the ones that you twist and they go in or out.

S: Yeah because it's like he twisted and it--

O: And the front of the gun kind of does that--very strange.

S: Umm-hmm.

O: Anyway, Optimus Prime shoots the straps off Spike, allowing him to escape, being caught by Bee. Megatron enters the Spacebridge in an attempt to salvage the Energon shipment and gets caught up in the whirlwind created by the Spacebridge.

S: Merry go Megatron! That's honestly the first damn thing I thought of when we-- when we got to this bit.

O: Basically he's been picked up by the vortex and is getting like you know--

S: Whirled around--

O: In a circle and goes through the space Bridge.

S: Yep.

O: And he disappears. So um, Starscream proclaims himself the leader of the Decepticons.

S: And is followed by his exact duplicate.

O: The return of Mini-Me!

S: Twice the Starscream, double the Screech.

O: Truly Megatron's worst nightmare--nightmare has finally been realized.

S: Oh, and so apparently there's a thing where there's the Unicron singularity where like, Unicron, Primus, and the Thirteen Primes or whatever are a all, like, a universal constant. The death of Unicron causes like, all of these dumb animation errors and that's why they're there.

O: No! No!

S: I think it's so dumb-- apparently that's something that is, it's- it came from some sort of official source but take it as you will, I ignore it because I think it's silly.

O: Yep, oh, that's too silly even for me.  And I like most of the shit these idiots get up to. So, uh, Starscream orders of retreat. Now about what he said earlier, about never retreating.

S: Yep.  Oh hypocrisy Starscream-

O: You can't lead ant-oids!  

S: -It knows no bounds.

O: Clearly. So the Autobots celebrating defeating Megatron, for good. Mercifully, Optimus isn't so sure this time, so somebody learned something--

S: And--

O: Megatron's fine! He's just chilling on Cybertron. He'll get his revenge.

S: Like, Shockwave sounded happy when you showed up and yeah, as Megatron swears his revenge his eyes glow menacingly red.

O: Of course they do, because he's a Decepticon. All right, join us next time for the Transformers episode 5: Roll For It. In which case, we will get to see, uh, Ravage kidnapping a boy in a wheelchair and the introduction of Jet Judo.

S: Yep, it's a fan favorite in many many fanfics years later.

O: Also Soundwave reading a, like, teenagers mind. It's weird.

S: Yeah.

O: So, Spec's, what are our fanfics for the day?

S: Okay first up we have “Undercover” by Tirya King. It's in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated T, and it's General, so there aren't any pairings. Characters: Bumblebee and the G1 cast. In summary, “Sometimes it's not always the quiet ones. Sometimes it's the lovable cute one. Sometimes the least likely can be the most dangerous.” And our theme for this recommendation is Bumblebee being sneaky because--

O: He was attempting to be sneaky in the episode, he kind of failed, but he was attempting it.

S: Yeah, yeah. And so this one is a one shot because I figured I should keep track of whether it's One-Shots, complete, or an in-progress thing that's probably not going to be completed.

O: Ohh, that's a good idea.

S: So, yeah, our next one is “Insomnia” by KoiLungfish, based on the G1 cartoon continuity, it's rated T for teens, it's Gen so again no pairings, and our character for this one is Shockwave. “Shockwaves isolation on Cybertron is driving him insane.” This one's kind of a little, little darker, but ah, so our theme or character for this one is Shockwave and it's a One-Shot.

S: And then our next one is “Worlds Away” by WaywardInsecticon. It's part of the G1 cartoon continuity comic, K+, Gen, no pairings. So the characters? Well it focuses on the Decepticons and there's a few OCS, original characters. So, in summary, “Cybertron, the symbol of the Decepticon cause, is on a collision course with a star. There's a heavy con bias due to the characters involved just as a warning.” So this one, it's been a--quite a long time since I read this one but it's one that I enjoyed and it's part of a series's, actually but you can read it on its own. And part of the reason I included this one was Spacebridge shenanigans, with a “?.” But, it's basically about saving Cybertron which seems relevant to basically what's going on on Cybertron right now. And starving.

O: Fair enough.

S: But it's also complete, and it's one of Wayward’s older works so it’s- I think it's good? But your mileage may vary. And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check out our Tumblr at Afterspark-podcast[.]Tumblr[.]com for any additional information show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @Aftersparkpod, all one word, and SoundCloud and YouTube at Afterspark Podcast. Till next time.

O: This is been Afterspark Podcast.

S:Toodles!

#transcript #g1 episode 4 #afterspark podcast