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justaghostingon · 1 year

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How to be a Bad Husband without Shijie getting Mad at You

A guide by Wei Wuxian

An arranged marriage au because i’ve been reading to many of them recently.

Just after the sunshot campagin, the jiang are still rebuilding, and jiang cheng realizes he has a problem

The jin want to marry jin zuxian to yanli, and take the jiang in as a vassal state, which he doesn’t want

And wei wuxian’s rep isn’t doing them any favors

He needs to rebuild his alliances, establish themselves, and do it fast

So when the lan’s offered a new treaty he said yes immediately, before reading it

He really should have read it, because it wasn’t a treaty, it was lan xichen, tired of his brother’s pining, offering an engagement deal between lan zhan and wei wuxian

Now jiang cheng can’t back out without losing face, and in this state he really can’t afford too.

So wei wuxian finds himself engaged to lan zhan, counting down the days towords their rapidly approaching marriage

As you can imagine, wei Wuxian is not happy about marrying someone who he thinks hates him and his cultivation methods

He complains bitterly to shijie and jiang cheng

Jiang cheng is as annoyed as he is but he can’t think of a way out without rhe lans drawing out first

Wei wuxian says he’ll just drive lan zhan away! Make him want to divorce!

Then yanli steps in, and scolds wei wuxian fiercely,

See lan zhan is marrying out, coming to yumeng to live to a culture he doesn’t know among strangers.

Jiang yanli, who was engaged to do the same once upon a time, has been trained on what to expect, a s knows exactly how hard it can be for someone who doesn’t have her husband’s respect

So help her, her brother will not be one of those faithless dogs!

Neither jiang cheng nor wei wuxian have ever heard yanli call anyone “faithless dog,” and in that moment she looks too much like her mother for either of them to cross her

But wei wuxian’s not out of the game yet.

No one knows lan wangji better than him

This goody-goody is here to play martyr, to play cleansing and keep wei wuxian from his wicked ways, but he doesn’t really like him

He’s hear to be a jailer, not a husband.

All wei ying has to do is treat him like a husband, with all the affection, touch, and teasing that comes with it! Lan Wangji’s three least favorite things!

Lan wangji will be screaming for divorce in a week!

Wei wuxian doesn’t get to put his plan into action until after the wedding, as he isn’t allowed to see lan wangji until then

But once its over, he puts his plan in full swing

First step: cuddling. Lan Wangji hates touch, wei wuxian loves it. So naturally to drive lan wangji mad, he needs to touch him constantly, sitting in his lap, holding his hand, cuddling at night, etc

This does not work. Lan wangji was a little hesitant at first, but now he seems to be tolerating it with only the slight reddening of his ears to show his rage

He even seems upset when wei wuxian isn’t sitting in his lap!

Wei wuxian thought at first that this was because they were inside their house and home, but when he plopped himself down on lan zhan’s lap at a sect conference, in fromt of everyone…lan zhan put his ARMs around his WAIST like this was NORMAL

Now wei Wuxian is the weird one who’s tucking his head into lan wangji’s neck, embarrassed

From this experience wei wuxian realizes something: Lan Zhan’s a secret cuddle bug!!!

He just never got the chance thanks to all those stuffy clan rules

And well, wei wuxian can’t leave a fellow cuddle bug hanging can he? Think about all thr hugs lan zhan has missed that he needs to make up for! He’ll just have to think of something else.

Step Two: presents. Lan zhan never liked any of the porn or alchol wei wuxian tried to give him before, so clearly he’s gonna hate it if wei wuxian gives him that and more!

Wei wuxian starts piling lan wangji with gifts. Porn! They’re married now so he can’t refuse! Alcohol, the best of the best! Spicy food he made himself! This pretty ribbon he saw at thr market and thought of lan zhan! This lantern with a bunny on it! That silk with bunnies…this painting of bunnies…

He might have gone a bit overboard with the bunnies

No matter what he gives him, lan wangji takes it with solemn grattitude, and tries it out. This proves a problem when lan wangji keeps eating the spicy food even as it clearly hurts him

Shijie frowns disaprovingly at him once while watching lan wangji guzzle water, and wei ying swore to do it never again

The less said about the alcohol incident the better

There is one more serious gift he gives lan wangji, one he knows he won’t dissaprove of. Smuggled among the presents and clothes, he brings in new “attendents” who look suspiciously like those wen remandents who seemingly vanished into thin air from their containment camp.

Lan wangji takes them in gravely, and soon their home is filled with the sound of laughter as a small boy runs after lan zhan

So clearly gifts aren’t working. Time for step three: sex

…..

…..lan zhan won.

Maybe all those gifts of porn were a bad idea, sullying such a pure mind

At this point Wei Wuxian is getting desperate, nothing he does is making lan wangji less willing to marry him. Its time for desprate measures…

Step Four: tell the truth. He’s never going to stop demonic cultivation and return to the sword path. He can’t.

He needed to tell him anyway, with all the touching they do, it was only a matter of time before he figured it out himself.

Lan Wangji says nothing as wei wuxian explains how he lost his core (still not mentioning how, he’ll take jiang cheng’s secret to the grave) how he was in the burial mounds, how its gone, gone gone and this is all he has left!

Before he knows it he’s a sobbing mess, tears and snot trailing down his face.

Not a very pretty picture for a husband huh?

Lan wangji only opens his arms, and pulls wei wuxian close, letting him cry himself silly in his arms.

It hurts, but it also feels good, safe, like lan zhan is a rock who will stay steady even against the tide of his own emotions

Still, it was a lot, and once he calms down he thinks this time, for sure, lan wangji will leave. He was kind in the confession, because that’s his nature, but surely, surely he doesn’t want to stay chained to a man who can’t even cultivate.

Jiang yanli asks to speak to lan wangji privately, to check in on how he’s adjusting, and wei wuxian sneaks in to listen, bracing for the worst

…when had the worst become lan zhan leaving?

Yanli asks if he has any complains, wei wuxian tenses, and lan zhan…

“I’ve never been so happy,” lan zhan says, because lan’s do not lie.

Wei wuxian is so shocked he tumbles from his hiding place. Yanli frowns with exasperation at him but all his attention is on lan wangji

Do you mean it? He asks

Of course,” lan wangji nods, then adds, “i love you” as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

Wei wuxian is laughing, he’s crying, he has an armful of lan zhan and the taste of his lips and well…

Maybe this marriage thing is pretty great actually.

The end

#the untamed #the untamed au #mo dao su zhi #mdsz #mdsz au #arranged marriage #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wei ying #lan zhan #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wens #wen qing and wen ning were fake mustaches to disguise themselves and gaslight jiang cheng into believing they’re someoen else #wangxian #wangxian au

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gorillawithautism · 4 months

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if anyone has music that feels like this please give me recommendations. need more that fits this vibe. particularly for 4/9 but just all of it

#music #swingset #dad bod #slash fiction #greer #wens #jeff buckley #mel bryant and the mercy makers

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ladysunamireads · 8 months

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#AO3 Link #FanFiction #AO3 Wangxian #♥#Wangxian #Lan Yuan #Wens #MDZS #⚣#⚔️#R:G #Foxxian #Dragonji #Modern AU #Sick Fic #Fluff #A:YaYa

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kneipe · 1 year

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podgorica 2022

#wens #podgorica #graffiti

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dutchjan · 20 days

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April 05, 2024

#getaria #Museo Cristóbal Balenciaga #Cristóbal Balenciaga #baskenland #spanje #modeontwerper #de grootste #vorm #belijning #volume #españa #droom #wens

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kazuyo2wp · 23 days

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興味がある方、ぜひ！♥️

#recruitment #singapore #Wind Ensemble Nippon Japan #WENS

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lovewanxian · 2 months

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Lan Wangji: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Wei Wuxian, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

A-Yuan, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Wei Wuxian to Lan Wangji: Because he has little hands.

#mdzs #the untamed #wangxian #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan wangji #lan zhan #lan sizhui #incorrect mdzs quotes #wen yuan

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goodhealthyshiningcara · 9 months

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Proposal to update the days of the week to be more streamlined and efficient for our modern economy:

Monday -> Mondy

Tuesday->Toody

Wednesday (worst offender)->Wendy(beautiful girl and burgers)

Thursday->Thirdy (or Thirsdy)

Friday->Fridy

Saturday->Saddy

Sunday->Sundy

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

#shit post #its for texting but it can extend to talking #mond #tues #wens #thurs #etc

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bonesblubs · 6 months

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Got a bunch of requests for Wen Ning so here’s the babygirl himself

#art tag #wen Ning #MDZS #the untamed #I love this guy so much I want to give him hot chocolate and a blanket

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qourmet · 5 months

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i fucked up yesterday, i chopped peppers & let their spice soak into my skin. & had to draw something about it. he'd do this.

+ wen qing's anger & wen ning's concern

#mdzs #wei wuxian #mo dao zu shi #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #yiling laozu #yiling patriarch #wen yuan #wei ying #fanart #my art #memes #again with the memes #idk man i took a shower & the burning only intensified #apparently u can quell it with vinegar soaking but i don't think vinegar is good for the eyes #rip @ yuan

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pakhnokh · 8 months

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Cannnnn you feeeeeeel the WANGXIAN toniiiiiight???? (Part 1/3) Wen Qing knows what's up!

This is the project I was talking about a few days ago. I came up with this idea in 2020, a month after finishing the novel. This part was drawn in 2021. I have the next part as a WIP waiting to be continued haha

#mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #yiling laozu #wen ning #wen qing #the lion king #can you feel the love tonight #mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation

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junodoom · 13 days

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birthday comic for wen ning 🏹