#went from self absorbed baby man to learning from his mistakes baby man

[kneworder]

someone said that luther and diego have opposite himbo energies this season which got me to making this

plus ben

i will not be taking criticism at this time

#umbrella academy #tua #tua 2 #umbrella academy season 2 #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #number five #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #ive literally tried to post this four times please please work #also luther is pure himbo season 2 only #shoutout to luther for actually learning a thing or two this season #went from self absorbed baby man to learning from his mistakes baby man

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: Something causes Lan Qiren to just SNAP, go absolutely fucking feral, and run off to become a rogue cultivator.

Beautifully Spent

- Chapter 1 -

aka Five Times Lan Qiren Left The Lan Sect Behind

“It is your duty, Qiren.”

“Is it?” Lan Qiren asked coldly. “I believe you’re thinking of my brother. You might remember him – the sect leader?”

He’d never spoken that coldly to anyone, least of all an honored elder, one of his own teachers, but he had no choice.

Ever since he was young, Lan Qiren wanted to become a traveling musician - to wander the world freely, without the burdens that would fall on his older brother, the prospective sect leader. Even as he got older, he'd never quite let go of that ambition, refining it until it had become not only a dream but a plan.

He would see that plan come to fruition, no matter what it took.

His teacher looked at him helplessly. “What’s gotten into you?” he asked. “You know your brother has chosen seclusion –”

“I know that in the eyes of the sect I have never been a quarter the man he is,” Lan Qiren said quietly. “I know that in each instance that we have argued, you have all taken his side. I know that I was asked, time and time again, to yield – because he is the elder, because he is the heir, because he is the more talented of us two. I have always yielded, because I am a filial son, a good brother, and I love my sect. I have always yielded.”

His teacher cast his eyes down to the ground.

An acknowledgement of guilt.

“I will not yield this time,” Lan Qiren said simply. “This is the rest of my life, honored teacher. This is my entire life. For once, let himbe the one to yield – to do his duty to his sect, as he was always meant to.”

“But –”

“I have always been here for him.” Lan Qiren did not allow him to interrupt. “I have been his scapegoat when things have not gone his way, I have been his pawn in political games, I have even been his punching bag when he needed to vent his irrational anger. Everything he has had the freedom to do, he has done because he has had me here. If I were not here, would he be able to go into seclusion?”

His teacher was silent.

“He would not,” Lan Qiren concluded. “To go into seclusion when you are the only option to lead the sect is to be an unfilial descendant of our ancestors. And so, if I am not here, he would be obligated to live up to his duties.”

“His heart has just been broken. Do you have no empathy for him?”

“As much as I do for the woman who was forced by circumstances to agree to marry him, and no more.”

“Qiren…”

“Think of it as me being dead, honored teacher,” Lan Qiren said, and ignored his teacher’s flinch at such inauspicious words. “Do you need me to remove my forehead ribbon before I go?”

“Qiren! Of course not!”

“Ask my brother,” Lan Qiren said dryly. “He will have the final word, as usual, and he does not like not getting his way.”

He left that day, his head held high.

He did his best not to think of his brother, who had, in his own way, wanted freedom, too.

Lan Qiren travelled, after that. It was just as he’d always planned it: quiet nights along forest paths, visits to small towns in out-of-the-way corners of the world – inquiring and then solving any issues they had that required a cultivator, and playing for them when no such issues remained. He had anticipated hardship, knowing himself to be a rich young master who’d never really faced the world; he hadn’t anticipated kindness: a few married women in one town taking the time to show him how to do laundry, giggling at him all the while, a group of young woodcutters in the next the best way to forage and cook food when one was hungry, a merchant and his wife teaching him how to bargain to avoid getting cheated…in time, through the generosity and enthusiasm of others, he learned all the skills he needed.

He refused payment for night-hunts – amazingly, his sect did not cut him off as he’d almost expected them to, and he was still able to collect his usual allowance – but accepted it for his music, and from his place behind his guqin he watched, quiet and content, as life swirled around him in all its myriad forms.

In between music and night-hunts, he idly taught some skills to the children in the towns he passed through – the vast majority were common people, completely lacking in cultivation skills, but his sect’s rules and the philosophy behind them were applicable in far more situations than that, and basic martial skills in even more. Whenever he stayed somewhere for more than a few days, he added in lessons in basic literacy, mostly because the idea of not having books at hand was abhorrent to him; the parents involved were generally more grateful that he was keeping their children out of trouble than especially interested in what he was teaching them, but it’d never hurt anyone to know a little bit of reading.

When he happened upon a place already governed by another sect, he did not take particular care either to avoid or to approach them; if they happened to meet, and to invite him to stay with them, he would. Lao Nie tracked him down six times for that very purpose, citing increasingly less plausible excuses, before Lan Qiren finally agreed to make the Unclean Realm a regular stop on his travels just to make him stop; in contrast, Cangse Sanren just showed up at the camp he had made for himself one day, her husband as always by her side, and simply refused to leave for the next three months.

He did not visit the Cloud Recesses.

Not when he heard about how his brother had, however reluctantly, come out from seclusion and begun to do the work of sect leader, and do it well, the Lan sect prospering under his leadership as they had always expected to. Not when he got news that his nephew was born; not when he heard that one nephew had become two. Not even when he heard that his brother’s wife had died, though the thought of that miserable woman’s self-inflicted fate had moved him enough to write a letter of condolence to his brother – their first contact in seven years.

Lan Qiren did not expect anything to come of that impulse, though perhaps he should have known better: it wasn’t more than a week later that he received a letter in return, the heavy formal parchment used by the Lan sect as familiar to him as the back of his hand, his brother’s equally formal calligraphy very nearly as familiar.

The words on it weren’t familiar at all.

I have made a terrible mistake, his brother wrote. I need your help.

Lan Qiren was perhaps not especially filial to his sect, having abandoned it as readily as he did – but despite everything, he did love his brother.

He went home.

“Lan Huan, courtesy name Xichen,” his brother said, nodding at the small child, pudgy and fat and adorable, quivering like a pudding even as he tried to force a smile onto his face, clutching onto a baby only a few months old, the little one strangely solemn despite the inexpert manhandling. “Lan Zhan, courtesy name Wangji.”

Lan Qiren was not as shy as he used to be, and he had gotten better at dealing with children. He knelt down until he was level with them, though he did not force himself to adopt any expression that did not come naturally. “Hello,” he said. “I’m your uncle.”

“Hello, uncle,” Lan Xichen said.

Lan Qiren held out a hand and waited, even as his brother took his leave, busier than ever. It took a little while, but Lan Xichen eventually put his own hand in his, and walked with him; after a little while, he even entrusted him with little Lan Wangji, fussing until Lan Qiren had tucked him into the corner of his arm in a manner he found appropriate.

By the time his brother found them again, Lan Xichen was chattering on and on about his xiao lessons, while Lan Qiren nodded along and added his own observations – he was decently skilled at the xiao himself; while it was not his preferred instrument, there were times when it was easier to carry than a guqin, and he had had time, when he was younger, to indulge himself in learning more than one instrument.

When Lan Xichen saw his father, he fell silent at once. He did not hide behind Lan Qiren’s robes, though Lan Qiren half-thought he wanted to – his little hand trembled in Lan Qiren’s palm.

“Would you like to take your brother back?” Lan Qiren asked him. Lan Wangji was a good baby, crying only a few times, each time responding well and easily to the usual things a child his age wanted – milk, a burp, attention. Moreover, Lan Xichen was good with him, thoughtful and careful; Lan Qiren had no concerns entrusting the baby to him, and Lan Xichen brightened a little when he realized that, nodding happily and taking Lan Wangji, pausing only a moment to glance worriedly at his father before scurrying off.

Lan Qiren looked at his brother.

“He’s afraid of me,” his brother said. “You can tell, can’t you?”

A blind man could tell. Lan Qiren said nothing.

“Wangji cries whenever I hold him, too, even though he almost never cries the rest of the time. He’s not even a year old, and he already knows.”

“Knows?”

His brother looked out into the horizon. His hands were behind his back, clasped in a formal pose. “That I’ll ruin them, too.”

Lan Qiren put his own hands behind his back as well. After a few moments, he said, “You care for them both. That’s not nothing.”

Their own father hadn’t managed even that. He had treated Lan Qiren with utter indifference, while treasuring his eldest beyond the point of reason, encouraging him to always think only of himself; the seeds of their estrangement were planted long before either of them knew it, each of them learning different lessons from their father’s mismanagement – Lan Qiren how to be inferior and doubt himself, his brother to be self-absorbed and careless with the feelings of others; Lan Qiren to bend himself to the point of breaking, his brother to refuse to bend at all.

It had served neither of them well.

“I don’t know what love is, except possession,” his brother said. “Xichen torments himself to try to live up to my expectations, and all I’ve managed to teach him, other than fear, is how to say yes to everything just to make people go away. I find myself falling into the habit of thinking of him as an extension of myself, which is still more than I can do with Wangji, who doesn’t even cry like a regular child should…” He paused. “You didn’t cry much as a child either.”

Lan Qiren glanced at his brother, surprised. He hadn’t known his brother had paid enough attention to him back then to even notice.

His brother smiled thinly. “Our family is known for its quiet children, did you know? I hadn’t, but they told me after Wangji was born. Apparently, there’s a few in every generation: a little slow, a little strange, with minds that don’t work quite the same way as the rest of us. The ones that don’t like to look you in the eye – sometimes they learn to speak, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they’re brilliant. As babies, they’re generally a little too quiet. There were three in our father’s generation, but in ours there was only you. And now, there’s Wangji…”

He shook his head.

“I wronged you before, Qiren. I don’t want to do it again – I don’t want to know what sort of father I’d be to a child like you. I’m not willing to risk waiting to find out, either.”

When Lan Qiren left the Cloud Recesses, he took with him a qiankun pouch weighed down with more money than he’d ever had in his life, two children, one smiling happily as the other burbled quietly, and his brother’s trust.

He had no idea what to do with any of it.

#mdzs #lan qiren #my fic #my fics #not set in the same universe as spilled pearls #but will probably make the most sense if you've read that first #beautifully spent

[someguynamedstevewrites]

My Roommate is an Apparition: An Apparition A-Pink-ciation of Culture

Based on characters created by @reddpenn

From the diary of Lily:

------------

When I was little, I used to talk to my stuffed animals all the time.  They were my soft, cuddly friends who were always there for me, and even though they never spoke a word, I always imagined I could hear what they wanted to say.  Even as an adult, I still treat inanimate objects like they’re people too.  In fact, everyone does at some point or another in their adult life.  Anyone who has ever argued with their car that refused to start knows what I mean.

But recently, I realized that sometimes people can do... well the opposite. That sometimes we don’t treat people (who are actual, real people) like they’re people.  It’s not something we consciously think about, but it’s more like we forget that, well, people are people.  I know this sounds really dumb, but I felt like I needed to write about this after a... well after an “argument” I had with my roommate.

I’ve lived with my roommate for a few months now, and I thought I had gotten to know them pretty well.   They like to watch cartoons (like, seriously LOVES them) and we had worked out a TV viewing schedule to make sure that we got along together.  But the other day, I realized that I wasn’t necessarily treating them like they were their own person.  I didn’t mean to do that, but it just kind of happened, and...

...well it gets really complicated because, technically, they aren’t a person.

I mean, they aren’t human; they’re an apparition.

It made me think about all those stories about monsters and ghosts.  Like a ghost used to be human, but then they died, and their spirit became a ghost.  Do we still treat the ghost like the person they were when they were alive?  Outside of a few exceptions, the answer’s a definite yes.

But what about an apparition? It’s kind of like a ghost, but it’s not. I mean, it’s not the soul of someone who died or anything. They just sort of exist. (Would Slimer from Ghostbusters be an apparition or a ghost?).

------------

So anyway, reason I’m bringing this all up is because of what happened last weekend. I was channel surfing through the Cable Guide and as I’m flipping through, I pass by Boomerang (you know, the cable channel that spun-off Cartoon Network to hold all the older cartoons?) and all of a sudden, my roommate appears out of nowhere (literally) and practically grabs the remote out from my hands.

“Hey! What gives!?” I say to them.

They immediately change over to Boomerang and my TV screen is suddenly filled up with the color pink. At the same time, my roommate starts “doot-ing” along with the song and goes, “Doo-Doot! Doo-Doot! Do-Doot-Do-Doot-Do-Doot Do-Doot-De-Dooooooooo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-Doooot”. I have no idea what they’re doing, but then the cartoon starts up and it’s the Pink Panther.

Rhetorically, I go, “What’s this?”

“Pink... Panther...” my roomie says.

And then I make my first mistake by saying, “Huh. Never seen it before.”

Now if I had been paying attention to them, I probably would have seen the face of shock they were making. “You... NEVER... saw it!?” They gasped.

“Nope. Must have been before my time,” which was totally true. I mean, I later found out my Dad used to watch it when he was a kid. It wasn’t on TV when I was growing up. (Why am I defending myself for not watching a specific cartoon?)

Anyway, roomie asks, “Watch... with me?”

And then I, being a total dumbass, say, “Nah. Think I’ll get some dishes in,” before getting up and walking away.

If I had stayed put for just a few seconds longer, I would have heard them asking, “...please?” (In case you’re wondering, they told me about that later.)

------------

Yes, I hurt its feelings.  Yes, it was insensitive.  Yes, I am sorry.  But like I said, the thought didn’t even cross my mind back then.  As far as I knew, as long as my roommate had their cartoons, they were happy.  It didn’t occur to me that they cared about anything other than the cartoons themselves.

For the next week, my roommate made sure I knew, now and forever, that this was not true.

My first clue that they were mad at me was later that evening when I went to the living room to watch my usual shows.   It was my turn on the TV, and usually I have to pry my roommate away so I can watch what I want to watch. But that night, the instant I walked into the room, they changed the channel to what I wanted, put the remote down on the couch, and left the room without saying a word.  I thanked them, plopped myself down, and went straight into couch potato mode.

This should have thrown so many red flags in my head, but for some reason, it didn’t.  Maybe I was being too self-absorbed at the time? Maybe I was just tired and thinking, “Aww man, I gotta work tomorrow!”?  No matter the excuse, mistakes were made, and I started paying for them the very next morning.

My “haunting” kicked off with waking up to find most of my rock collection missing.  I have a particular affinity for pretty rocks and gems (I’m kind of a rock nerd) and have my favorites out on display.  But that morning, the only rocks that I could see were the pink ones.  Someone had pilfered almost every pebble from every pedestal to perturb me.   (I saw a chance for alliteration and took it! So sue me!)  I was still waking up and too tired to care about it at the time (me making excuses again) and had work, so I got ready to go and left.

Now I’m not sure how they did it, but my roommate did something to my car radio.   I turn it on and all I get are tunes by Henry Mancini.  Fifty percent of the time, it was the Pink Panther theme, twenty-five percent was the theme from A Shot In The Dark (I had to use Soundhound to figure out that one), and the rest was a mix of some of his other work.   It didn’t matter what station I tried changing it to!  Although I did learn that Mancini composed Baby Elephant Walk, so that’s something.

By now, I’d already figured out what was going on (roommate did it), but couldn’t really do anything about it because I still had work to go to.   As if the daily grind working at an art supply store wasn’t hard enough, I had to work while having the dang Pink Panther theme stuck in my head all day.  Not even the music that played over the store radio could get rid of it.  (Given the quote un-quote “music” they play over the speaker system, I eventually considered it a good thing.)

Then I came home, and that’s when things REALLY escalated.  First words out of my mouth after I walked in was, “Hey, I’m hoooOOOOOLY~!”  Every single wall in the apartment, from the living room, to the kitchen, to the bedroom, and even the bathroom...

PINK!

All of them were painted PINK!

Like strawberry frosted doughnut pink!

As I’m gawking at the interior design sugar rush nightmare, out walks my roommate from around the corner.  Immediately, the first thing I noticed was that they had feet. (Normally, they don’t have feet; they just kind of “hover” or “emerge from the ground” or something.) They had their eyes closed, head held up, and made a point of showing off these noodle legs they had constructed by skipping every other three steps.

They were doing the Pink Panther shuffle.

They walk out of my line of sight and I run over to have a word with them, but by then they disappeared.  I look around and all I see is more and more pink.  From behind me, I hear a mix of snickering slash wheezing.  Like you ever hear of this cartoon dog named Muttley?  They were laughing like him.  And of course, I turn around, and the only thing I see is more pink!

------------

I knew that my roommate could be ornery at times, like that time I tried to get an idea of their daily routine by setting up a webcam, but this...

I mean, where did she even get the paint?  (Upon reading back here, I realized I referred to them as a ‘she’ even though I’m not sure if they are a ‘she’ or not.  Yeah, I can edit it to a more neutral pronoun, but something tells me I ought to point this out instead of editing it, for some reason.)

I was half tempted to get back at them by painting the walls back to their original color (they do sell paint by the gallon where I work, and I get the employee discount), but realized they’d just paint(?) the walls pink again.  Like I’d turn around after thinking I finished only to find the work I did completely undone.  I could just picture my roommate doing that and finding it hysterical.

Anyway, tacky as the pink walls were, I didn’t get too angry about them.  For starters, my lease agreement said that I couldn’t paint the walls without landlord approval.  But my lease agreement also acknowledges that my apartment may be haunted.  If the landlord ever brought it up, I’d just tell them the “ghost” did it.  Second, these pranks my roommate was pulling were kind of amusing and didn’t really bother me that much.  (I mean sure, I wanted my rock collection back but I doubted my roommate would have thrown them away.  They know how much they mean to me.)

The one thing I was putting my foot down on was that I wasn’t going to ask my roommate what was wrong.  I got the hint, sure, but I wanted them to know that if something is bothering them, they need to, y’know, actually say something instead of leaving spooky pink clues.  They were being a butt, and my hope was that when they saw how much the pink wasn’t bothering me, then they’d finally open up.  This went on for about a week with me going about my daily routine only to be surprised by the occasional pink interruption.

Like on Wednesday, I go to the fridge to get something to drink, and all I find in there is Pink Lemonade.  It actually wasn’t that bad, but I have no idea how my roommate actually got it given that they never leave the apartment.  Thursday, I get a notification saying a package arrived, and find my roommate used my debit card to order the entire Pink Panther cartoon series on DVD.  And earlier on Tuesday, I got a call from my landlord asking if I knew why someone had called in an order, in their name, to have Owens Corning insulation installed.  In case you weren’t aware, that’s the pink insulation who has “you can guess who” as their mascot.

------------

So, Friday rolls around, and by now, the entire apartment is pink.  Like EVERYTHING.  The furniture, the electronics, the toilet, the sink, the appliances, the TV, and everything in between has been made pink somehow.  I’m not sure who out there still makes pink toilet paper, but apparently my roommate has either some special powers I don’t know about yet, or they got connections.

At this point, since my roommate had yet to approach me about “The Pink-ening”, I began playing the reverse-psychology card.  I came home and got to making dinner.  While some of this was a bit more expensive than what I usually spend on food, I figured it was worth it if it meant getting my roommate to talk to me.  My menu included delicious smoked pink salmon, some crab linguine with a nice amount of pink to it for a side dish, and some mashed red potatoes that turn out nice and pink if you got the right recipe.  To wash it down, I picked up a glass of pink lemonade from the fridge, and in the freezer, some strawberry sorbet.

I get down to eating at my pink table, with a pink wooden chair, pink napkins, pink silverware, pink glass of pink lemonade.  It took a little more effort to put this together, but I made an exaggerated point of showing off how good this pink meal was and how much I was just enjoying all this pink.

About halfway into my meal, I get a feeling that someone’s standing behind me.  It’s hard to put into words how you know someone’s there especially since my roommate doesn’t really eat or breath.  It’s like the hairs on the back of your neck become sensitive like cat whiskers and can just... feel that someone’s there.  Usually sends a chill down my spine when that happens, but this time, I was ready and waiting for it.

“Care to join me for dinner?” I say without turning around.  If I had, they probably would have vanished on me again like they had been doing all week.

“Looks... good...” they say in their ever so familiar by now raspy voice.

“Got something you want to talk about?” I ask between bites.  There’s a brief pause as my roommate thinks to themselves.

“...yes,” they finally answer.

“Okay.  Pull up a chair!  It’s been a while since we just, y’know, talked and stuff,” which was true.  

The instant I said that, I realized that even before the “week of pink” began, we hadn’t spent a whole lot of time together outside of our usual TV time.  I had long since figured out that my roommate wanted me to watch Pink Panther with them, but I just thought they wanted to show it to me to show off how (subjectively) good the cartoon was.  Only then did it hit me that they wanted me to watch it with them because they wanted to watch it together with me.  It was like they were hoping for some roommate bonding time or something like that.

Now, it wasn’t like we weren’t talking to each other before this.  I greeted them whenever I saw them, and let them know whenever I came home or was leaving. but we hadn’t actually talked, like... “talk-talk” in a few weeks.  Instead, the conversations over the last few weeks were like the kind of conversations a person would have with their pet cat or pet dog.  Like you’d talk to them, but not really expect an answer from them.

I had been treating her like a pet more than a person.  (Did it again!  I’m thinking I’ll ask them later what kind of pronouns they’d like me to use, or if they’ve even given any thought towards gender or anything).

My guess is that my roommate picked up on this themselves, and just like a disobedient pet who is bored, lonely, or other, they made a mess of the place.  Maybe they were thinking that if I was going to treat them like a pet, they would act like one too?

Of course, I didn’t mean to treat them like that.  I don’t think anyone really does mean it when they do.  It just kind of happens without thinking about it.  The whole reason I’m writing this down here in you, diary, is so that I can make a mental note slash reminder to be careful of doing that kind of thing.  It’s especially important to remember when interacting with other people, like my co-workers or the store customers.  (Unlike my roommate, they can’t get on my case by making my entire apartment pink.)

------------

Now where was I?  Oh yeah, our talk.  I think I remember the most important bits of it.  It went something like:

“So, whaddya wanna talk about?” I ask between bites of food.

“Pink...” they say to me.  I wait a moment, expecting them to say “panther” after that, but it when it doesn’t arrive, I step in.

“Yeah!  Pretty amazing what you did with the place!  I didn’t know things could even get this pink!” which was one-hundred percent true.

“...Thank...you...” they say with a smile.  I can tell that was not the answer they were expecting as I could have swore they turned and blushed.  Although I couldn’t tell because of how pink everything else was.

“Although,” I add, “I don’t think the landlord is going to like the apartment being this pink.  If it stays like this, they might kick me out.  And we wouldn’t want that, right?”

Now my roommate, the apparition, actually looks shocked for a moment.  The thought hadn’t entered their head, and for a moment, they looked a little scared.  “N-n-n-no...” they stuttered.

“Well, I’m sure together, we can get this place back to the way it was before the next time they have an apartment inspection.  Whenever that is,” I reassure them.

“Yeah...” my roommate nods.

“Say I got some time off this upcoming weekend.  Want to watch some Pink Panther with me?”  (Oh my God, you should have seen the smile on my roommate’s face when I asked this.)  “I see I have the DVD collection now, apparently,” I say with a wink, “and we can even watch the movies together too.”

“...movies?” they ask.

“Yeah, the Pink Panther was a movie first before it became a cartoon.  It was a live-action movie, but... well some of it’s like a cartoon here and there.  Lots of slapstick comedy that I think you might like.”  They were practically beaming and agreed immediately.  

After Friday’s dinner, we watched some of the cartoons (which are actually pretty funny) and for the upcoming weekend, we’re doing a Pink Panther movie marathon with cartoons mixed in to spice it up.  I also found out that my roommate doesn’t just watch the cartoons, but actually knows a thing or two about them.  Like how Friz Freleng, one of the directors and creative minds behind the original Looney Tunes cartoons, was involved in the Pink Panther’s creation along with a new studio after he left Warner Brothers.  I don’t know how my roommate came to know so much, but it’s pretty cool.

Anyway, I got me some sweet, pink treats to snack on during the movie marathon.  The apartment is still pink as can be, but my roommate said they’ll take care of it once the marathon’s over.  Exactly HOW they plan to take care of it, I have no idea.  Oh well.  No use pinking too hard about it.

(HA!)

#my roommate is an apparition #Tulpa #fanfiction #reddpenn #Pink Panther

[beardycarrot]

I, lying awake in bed because that’s how it always is the day before you have something important to do... am going to try to guess what the plot of Bioshock Infinite is, based on what I’ve seen in the first few hours and with knowledge of the other two (and a half?) games. Spoilers for the entire Bioshock series, except maybe Infinite, but I intend to knock it out of the park.

So. The first Bioshock is set in a futuristic (by 1950’s standards) city at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, created by a hardcore libertarian named Andrew Ryan as a way to once and for all live in a society free of government regulation. I won’t get into all the “sea slugs that produce a gene-altering wonder drug” and “child slaves brainwashed to drink corpse blood” stuff; very interesting, very important to the plot, but if I tried to explain the world of Bioshock I’d be lying here typing on my phone until the sun comes up. That stuff aside, the major plot points are that you’re not actually a guy who just happened to crash-land near the entrance to the city but are, in fact, Andrew Ryan’s son, and the guy who’s been guiding you through the city was actually using a Manchurian Candidate-style activation phrase to manipulate you into doing whatever he wanted. It’s a big, mind-blowing reveal (as is the realization that your character is actually about four years old... science fiction, man).

Bioshock 2 didn’t really have any big plot twists... or plot, for that matter ...but it was developed by an entirely different team, while the original’s team also did Infinite, so I’m expecting a return to form. Just as an aside, Bioshock 2 had a short DLC campaign called Minerva’s Den, which had a fantastic story, and a twist that the player can figure out on their own if they’re paying attention. Your goal is to get a very smart computer (for 1968) out of the underwater city and back to the surface so you can use it to cure all the victims of the slug-borne gene manipulation, and you’re guided over radio by the computer’s creator. At the end, you learn that the one guiding you was actually the computer itself, and that you’re its creator, slowly recovering from brainwashing. For the record, the endings to all three of these have made me cry.

So! With those kinds of twists in mind, what am I expecting from Bioshock Infinite? Well, I went into the game only knowing the names of the protagonists, that rather than underwater it was set in a floating sky city, and that there was some kind of religious theming but also a lot of old-timey Americana. As it turns out, the people of this city worship— no, have DEIFIED the founding fathers, and are lead by a man called Father Comstock. I’m pretty sure that name is a reference to the Comstock Act, similar to Andrew Ryan being named after Ayn Rand... but he could actually be called Father Cornstalk and I just haven’t been paying attention.

Anyway. Just a few minutes into the game, I noticed that a statue of Comstock looked suspiciously similar to my character... before deciding that I didn’t actually have that clear of a mental image of my character, they wouldn’t pull the “secret son” thing twice, and as much as I love it there probably isn’t going to be any time travel. Le sigh.

UNTIL!

So, your goal is to get a girl named Elizabeth out of the city, and there is some legitimately weird stuff going on with her prison. Like, they have some of her personal possessions from various points in her life in containment: a teddy bear, a diary, and a bloody cloth labeled “menarche”. Gross. Why would you keep that. Well, when an electric current (or something visually similar) is applied, the bear and diary change color, and the blood disappears from the cloth. The reason I’m not sure if it’s electricity is that there’s some kind of siphon system set up, it looks like a bunch of subwoofers, and it’s absorbing... something? When she sings, maybe? Is the energy being siphoned what changed the quantum states of those objects, or whatever was happening? There was also a chart showing that when she hit puberty... something, really spiked, which is what forced them to build the siphon. I can’t claim to know what’s happening here, but when I finally saw her she was day dreaming about Paris, and.. I guess opened some kind of portal, TO Paris? But then a bus or something barreled towards her, so she quickly closed it. In the couple seconds that the portal was open, I saw the marquee on a movie theater that... well, was in French, but I’M PRETTY SURE said “Return of the Jedi”. I should probably mention that this game is set in 1912. That smells like time travel to me, baby!

So, this is where it gets interesting, and confusing, and complicated. I think Elizabeth is Comstock’s daughter, from various signs and posters about Comstock’s seed being their salvation, and The Lamb of God being locked in the tower, and such... and signs about a “false shepherd” who would try to take her away (again, lots of weird divergent Christian sect stuff). One sign showered the false shepherd’s hand as having the initials AD branded on the back, which the protagonist Booker does indeed have. Before rescuing Elizabeth, Comstock confronts you, and seems to know all about Booker’s past, including his wife Anna (who died in childbirth), and claims to know his future as well. Being a prophet and such. Thing is, the way it’s presented, that whole thing could’ve all been in Booker’s head...? Shortly after rescuing Elizabeth, you run into someone who mistakes her for someone named Annabelle. Hmm HMMM. I’ve also run into a diary by someone named Rosalind Lutece (I think she’s one of the creepy twins who keep popping up everywhere) talking about physics and what sounded like the concept of quantum superpositioning, as well as a little informational kiosk in which she claims quantum mechanics are what enable the city to float. There were also a couple diaries that seemed to imply Elizabeth came from... somewhere else, and a part of her might still be there, or something?

SO. Finally, we get to the part where I theorize on what’s going on. In short... iunno.

Okay, well, I feel like my idea should be obvious by now. I think Comstock might be a future, or ALTERNATE REALITY FUTURE, version of Booker, and Elizabeth is... either a past version of his wife, before she went back in time and married him, or an alternate-reality version of his daughter? But then who is the Annabelle that the girl thought Elizabeth was? Did Booker’s child not die along with his wife, and was secretly wisked away to skytown? Comstock’s wife is consistently referred to as Lady Comstock, but what if her name is Annabelle too? Maybe it’s the same concept as the Heinlein story By His Bootstraps, with the protagonist only realizing that he IS now the old man from the beginning, and has to get his younger self into this weird time loop in order to live the life he’s lead?

I might be going a little off the rails; I mean, I’m pretty sure that the statue of Comstock I saw earlier actually reminded me of Handsome Jack, a character from another game I haven’t played who happens to wear an outfit similar to Booker’s. That said, there’s DEFINITELY some kind of time travel or dimension-hopping shenanigans going on here. There are good writers on this game, and I refuse to believe the Annabelle/Anna thing is a Batman v Superman-level coincidence.

The weird part is that in the tower where they were keeping Elizabeth, they have documentation of her dating back to one year old, so she was clearly exhibiting... something, unusual, even as a baby. The game also has yet to explain Vigors, its versions of the Plasmids from the first two Bioshock games, which were basically superpowers granted by the substance produced by those sea slugs. If I had to guess, Vigors are... a result of some kind of quantum something-or-other, which they made from whatever it is they were siphoning off of Elizabeth? Maybe it’s a Scarlet Witch kind of thing... you don’t actually change yourself, you just find yourself in an alternate reality where everything else is 100% the same, except you’re a version of yourself who can shoot crows out of your hands.

Right, so. My... official theory is... that... I have no idea what’s going on. Yeah, sorry, something in that mess up there is bound to be close, but when you get into time travel and/or dimension-hopping, all bets are off the table. Or all bets, a literally infinite number of bets, are on the table. Which is a lot to try to comprehend.

#bioshock #bioshock infinite #bioshock spoilers

[thenightling]

The Sandman: A Game of you (A summary of the plot from someone who actually read the thing...)

I have seen a lot of misconceptions floating around Tumblr about the plot of The Sandman: A Game of You, mostly thanks to an old Mary Sue article that seemed to deliberately take the plot out of context to make it look transphobic.   Some people on Tumblr have even said “I love Sandman but I won’t read A Game of you because I heard about what’s in it.”   Neil Gaiman, himself, even received an ask here on Tumblr about the story’s “problematic” content because the person who wrote the ask legitimately thought the story said trans women cannot use magick in The Sandman universe.   I have even seen transphobes claim Neil Gaiman is on their side for this reason.

According to Neil Gaiman he wrote A Game of you while being consulted by trans friends, one in particular, who heavily became the basis for the character Wanda. 

The first version of The Dreaming (Sandman spin-off comics) and The House of Mystery Volume 2 (Also a Sandman spin-off) were written by Caitlin R. Kiernan. (a transwoman).  That’s right.  Neil Gaiman left The Sandman franchise in the care of a transwoman.  

  Now, let’s begin...

______________________________ 

The Sandman: A game of you (summary)

First we need to go backward into The Sandman. The main character of The Sandman is Morpheus AKA Dream of The Endless. The Endless are a family of anthropomorphic personifications.  That means they are living embodiments of certain concepts.  For example Morpheus, also known as Dream has an older sister who is Death.  She’s essentially the Grim Reaper.  

Note: Death is older than Dream (Morpheus) but looks younger by at least a decade. The family consists of Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, and little Delirium (She used to be Delight but she went mad).   Most of Sandman is the story of Morpheus and what happens to him.   The place to begin is Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes.    

The first story to feature Hazel and Foxglove (though Foxglove’s other name, Donna, is given much earlier in the series) is The Sandman: A Game of You.   Donna AKA Foxglove had been in an abusive relationship with a girl named Judy.  After their breakup Judy had been murdered (issue 6 of The Sandman, within Preludes and Nocturnes, the issue is called 24 Hour Diner).  

Donna took the name Foxglove as a stage name as she wants to be a rock musician. She falls in love with Hazel.    The two are housemates with Wanda (a transwoman who ran away from a very transphobic hillbilly family), Barbie (a pretty and slightly eccentric makeup artist and dreamer trying to rebuild her life after a failed romantic relationship with a man named… I kid you not, Ken), and Larissa, also known as Thessaly, a nerdy looking and stand-offish woman who turns out to be a powerful and slightly-homicidal witch from ancient Greece.   There’s also an old man named George who turns out to actually be a Nightmare spy for a creature called the Cuckoo (more on that later.)

I’ll give the plot of The Sandman: A game of you first and then tell you the full plot of Death: Time of your Life.   The two connect.

In The Sandman: A game of you we learn that Barbie had a Labyrinth-esue fantasy world (Think of Jim Henson’s The Labyrinth) that she would escape to and lucid dream of all through her childhood and early adulthood but she had not been there in a long time.  We (readers) met Barbie earlier in The Sandman: The doll’s house when she had been dating Ken and in that story we see the first glimpse of Barbie’s fantasy world.  

Now her childhood anthropomorphic animal friends miss her and worry about her and were terrified of the activities of The Cuckoo (The main “bad guy” of her fantasy world).   One of the creatures (who greatly resembles Ludo from Labyrinth but is articulate) enters the real world where he is unfortunately killed.  He tried to warn Barbie of the bad things happening in her fantasy land.

Things start to get weirder.  That night everyone has anxiety based nightmares.  It turns out Hazel is pregnant from a one night stand that she regretted and didn’t know how to tell Foxglove so this is the basis for her nightmare.  Foxglove has nightmares about her abusive and deceased ex, Judy.  Wanda is having nightmares about transphobia.  She has not medically transitioned and she worries that others feel she does not count as a woman unless she has the surgery.  She’s actually terrified of surgery and affirms herself in the dream that even without the surgery she IS a woman.

After everyone has terrible anxiety dreams and most confront their nightmares they wake up to find things are strange in their home.   First Hazel confesses her indiscretion to Foxglove. Foxglove forgives her and they decide to raise the baby together.

Larissa finds George, realizing he was the cause of the nightmares, and kills him. She uses his remains to find out what is really going on.

Barbie, however, will not wake up.   She has been sucked back into her Labyrinth-esque fantasy.

The friends, finding out that Larissa is really an ancient and powerful witch known as Thessaly, decide to go on a rescue mission into the realm of dreams (known as The Dreaming) to save Barbie.

Thessaly gets revealed as being a TERF (this was written in the 90s so the term didn’t exist yet), claiming her magick will not work for Wanda since she’s not a “real woman” and besides, someone needs to stay behind to protect Barbie’s body.

Thessaly opens a way by the moon’s magick to get herself, Hazel, and Foxglove into Barbie’s fantasy world.

While that’s going on a storm is unleashed by Thessaly’s use of magick.  The storm causes heavy winds and trees to uproot.  Wanda sees a homeless old woman in trouble.  It’s a woman who had previously been nasty to her.   Wanda saves her life but dies in the process.

In Barbie’s dream the heroes find a magical gemstone called the Porpentine (actually a rose quartz dreamstone, a magical stone that Dream AKA Morpheus uses as a conduit for his power. His main one, for a long time, was a ruby.  Think of it like a magick wand).   They destroy the porpentine, which is actually what the cuckoo wanted.

The Cuckoo had accidentally gotten trapped in Barbie’s dream many years before and though they feed on imagination she wanted her freedom.   The destruction of the dreamstone alerts Morpheus (Dream) who comes to see that the skerry (The island that was Baribe’s fantasy world) is no longer needed.

The island had actually been created many centuries before for a former lover of Morpheus’ known as Alianora.  Alianora could not return to her old life but wanted a place of her own when they broke up so Morpheus had given her the island. The dreamstone powered its magick.  The island would exist so long as the dreamstone did.   For many centuries after Alianora passed away the island had been the plaything of many young woman dreamers.  

Morpheus absorbs the island and all its characters back into himself.  And has a brief private conversation with Alianora’s ghost, comforting her by assuring her that her island had been home to many dreamers after her.

Morpheus allows the Cuckoo to fly away (which is all she really wanted), but Thessaly had wanted to kill her for all the trouble she had caused them.  Morpheus prevents this.  

Morpheus tells Foxglove, Hazel, and Thessaly that they should not have physically entered The Dreaming.  That this is against nature.   Barbie may wakeup but the rest are trapped.   However, he does owe Barbie a boon for destroying the dreamstone- giving the power back to him that had long since been stored away in the jewel.  This is a bit of a con on Morpheus’ part, because he got her to ask that her friends be returned to the waking world as her boon.  This was Morphesus’ sneaky way of getting out of being in debt to her.

One by one they are returned to the waking world.   And Morpheus and Thessaly become lovers (but she later dumps him, saying he cares too much about mortals, which surprises him because he used to be a very cold, and aloof bastard and he doesn’t like facing that he’s changed.)

Barbie attends Wanda’s funeral but unfortunately it’s hosted by Wanda’s redneck family who keep misgendering her.  Cut off Wanda’s hair, put her in a suit, and deadname her on her headstone.  Barbie writes Wanda’s real name on the headstone in lipstick.  

Barbie also has a very strange dream where she sees Wanda with the delicate, feminine, features she had always wanted but was too scared to get the surgery to have (bone structure related), and another girl she doesn’t recognize. This is Death.  

Death waves to Barbie, thus assuring her that Wanda is happy and safe where she is going and that yes, Wanda was ALWAYS a woman. This was written in 1992 so this was a big deal.  A lot of people here on Tumblr mistake the story as transphobic and legitimately believe it was saying magick won’t work for a transwoman.  No.  This scene was to prove Thessaly and Wanda’s parents wrong about that and to show cis het readers that trans women ARE women right down in their soul.

_______________________________  

Death:  The High cost of Living.

In Death The High cost of living we learn that every so often Death takes human form as a means of self-humbling.  She used to be very cold and mean until one day a soul she was collecting asked her how she would feel about it.  So to remind herself of why she should show compassion she turns herself mortal for one day and lives as a human woman.  

I won’t give the full plot of this story here but know that she attends a Foxglove concert and proclaims herself a fan.

__________________________________  

Death: Time of your life.

Hazel had the baby and they named him Alvin.  This was meant to be in honor of Wanda even though that was Wanda’s deadname and she had hated the name.  They couldn’t figure out how to make a male equivalent of Wanda’s name so they just used her deadname.  I don’t think this is a great idea, personally, but at least they tried to honor her memory.

By now Foxglove is a bit of a celebrity But she is stuck in the closet. It’s the mid-90s and her manager is worried that if she comes out as a lesbian it could ruin her career.

Foxglove thinks she’s falling out of love with Hazel because while on tour, she (Foxglove), has been sleeping around while on tour and knows she hasn’t been spending enough time with Hazel.  She’s also getting burnt out.  Being a celebrity is not all it’s cracked up to be and she misses being obscure.

It turns out baby Alvie (Alvin) had an accident and Hazel offered up herself within a year if Death would not take Alvin.  Death apparently listened but she warned her, she had to take someone when the time comes.    

When Foxglove learns what has happened she rushes home and then to The Sunless lands (the land of The Dead) to save Hazel.  Her handler comes with her.  When she learns the deal Hazel made with Death she’s ready to offer herself to save her, realizing she DOES still love Hazel after all.  The handler, however, offers himself instead.  

It’s HEAVILY implied that Death was actually going to take him all along and the rest was just a rouse to save Hazel and Foxglove’s relationship because she liked them, and wanted them to realize what was important.  It also assured the handler a chance to die a hero, doing something noble and good, which he secretly wanted anyway.

Foxglove goes back to her pre-music career name of Donna and settles into a private life where she is openly with Hazel and their son.   And they live happily Ever After.

I figured it was important someone who actually read the comics summarize it since so many people here on Tumblr mistake The Sandman: A Game of you as transphobic and some have even called Hazel and Foxglove AKA Donna homophobic simply because they both have had affairs and forgave each other for it and Donna’s previous relationship had been abusive.  There was an article from The Mary Sue a few years ago that deliberately took things out of context to make the story of A Game of You seem problematic and too many people trusted that as being accurate.  

Also I had been wanting to write out the summary for some time since there are Sandman fans now who out-right refuse to read the arc because they were told it has problematic content, and some that badly misunderstood what it was trying to say. i.e. legitimately thinking feminine magick wouldn’t work for poor Wanda when in reality the whole point of Wanda’s arc was to tell the reader that transwomen ARE women.

#The Sandman #Sandman #The Sandman: A Game of you #The Sandman A Game of you #A Game of you #Sandman: A Game of you #Sandman A Game of you

[lambourngb]

Get me out of here - places to go when canon is complicated

It’s Day 3, time to celebrate those stories that I turn to when I can’t deal with canon, or when I don’t have the emotional energy to untangle all the emotions I have for what’s going on in canon. Alternative universes, the safe harbor for us. Below are a mix of rewrites of canon, remixes of canon, or out right not even set in Roswell- to fill every type distance you want from canon- from near to far.

The first story I’m reccing is a long one,- so pardon the very long review below.

my love is a life taker by @jocarthage (267,600) So one day, Jessi popped into discord to share a dream she had about timetravel and being able to save yourself in the past basically, particularly Alex getting to give his baby-self a hug, and we all went, “holy shit that’s a cool fic idea please write it!” and really reality sucks right now with quarantine and whatnot, so what better thing to do than follow a WIP? I can’t tell you how badly I needed to something to look forward to as I was staring down a milestone birthday with all my plans in tatters, and this story filled the void.

Okay- now about the actual story itself, the world building about time travel in this is incredible but easy to absorb. Jessi dumps you straight into the action in chapter 1 with Alex, at 28, assassinating an Iraqi intelligence agent in 2009 that averts a bomb that was planned on US forces. You learn so much about both the story-universe and Alex here- one, that even dressed in mask and killing someone, Alex is kind and uses morphine as an overdose and has arranged for his victim’s family to be compensated, you learn that time agents can only visit places they themselves have visited during that time, and Jesse Manes had dragged his son, who was ‘time aware’ to every place of war and ruin on the planet before he was 18 and that, Alex’s victim, even as he’s dying, recognizes what a shit childhood Alex had but that Alex doesn’t.

The next part is where Alex’s time crystal malfunctions, instead of returning him to 2018, it takes him to 1998 where an 8 year old Michael is getting beaten by his foster dad and Alex, out of his time line mysteriously, visible to only Michael, saves him, but only temporarily. We all know with abusers, until you’re out of the house, it’s just a matter of time before the next beating. However, with one act, Alex at 28 starts putting into action (even though he doesn’t recognize it at the time) the steps to save his own life as he works to save Michael from his childhood. Each mission, each jump through time, Alex meets Michael, always a year apart and only for 1000 seconds, or almost 17 minutes. Jessi takes you through some of the darkest points of US foreign policy, only as Alex takes control of his life, he also starts to change the missions, and change the world. The details of places, people, food, etc are authentic from the author’s experience, if you don’t click on the links at the end of the chapters and disappear down google-rabbit holes about the events in history, well- you’re made of stronger stuff than I am.  There are lots of heavy subjects discussed, but there’s always care and honesty behind the intent. The way Michael grows, the way Alex grows, and of course the journey to the present time when they could be together? It’s like pining on steroids but it’s so wonderful. I wish I could pull out one thing that I loved in particular in this story- but it’s impossible, only to say that I love that I could disappear completely within the confines of ‘my love is a life taker’ knowing that I would be kept safe by the author, that goodness prevails.


when I’m oceans away by @neapeaikea (28,000) this is a post-2008 shed canon-divergent AU where Alex Manes, after the best/worst night of his life bolts from Roswell and leaves Michael behind. 10 years later, on the hunt for a child conceived at Caulfield, Michael walks into a youth home in California and finds Alex. A few things, I love that this author writes an Alex who didn’t join the Air Force but still lost a leg, I don’t really enjoy disability erasure in modern AUs (I’m better at looking past that in historical or sci fi aus) . It’s pretty clear after five minutes that the connection between the two men is still there and strong despite anger, secrets and guilt. The teasing and flirting between them is great but so is the acceptance of baring their vulnerabilities. I loved the care they take with each other, and the tie in to an alien child is just so perfect.

Crucibles (series) @ninswhimsy (9,000)- I’m cheating and naming both here, but obviously nin had her finger on the pulse of fandom, by writing crusade-set queer stories before The Old Guard ever boomed into a fandom from the movie. I was lucky enough to trade DMs over the ideas of holiness and the body, and how Alex would have treated himself, certain of his doomed soul, and how Michael would have responded in turn. It’s no secret I love everything Nin writes, but this series stuck in my mind. I will be drifting off to sleep, and think about Alex walking through the ancient city of Aleppo, ready to be done with his burden and Michael there with soft palms and scented oil, and boom! I reach for my kindle to re-read it.

no regrets if we walk this new road by @andrea-lyn (97,000) This author has written so many amazing AUs, some quite far away from canon events like her Mummy AU or her Avengers AU, but I have to say, I have a very soft-spot for this rewrite of season 1 for a lot of reasons. I mean, it’s 2020, so my appetite for Cop!Max is definitely at an all-time low, so the idea of exchanging his job with Kyle’s was extremely appealing. At least Kyle is a POC holding the badge, not a white man like our canon. Anyway, politics aside, this story is special to me for the scorching good Isobel/Kyle relationship that develops, the way Isobel sharpens herself into a lawyer (not an event planner) and how Michael rounds his own edges off in turn by becoming a teacher (and being secretly married).  Each deviation from canon made complete sense once you alter the way Rosa’s death affects the pod squad, and how they covered it up ripples out toward Liz, Kyle, etc. 


Layer on layer, down on down by @dotsayers (9,440) I love sci-fi tropes, especially time-loops, but they are incredibly hard to write (I know, I abandoned mine a while ago) so this story stands out because of just how well done the execution is and also the angst. Michael in a time loop about Caulfield, like how great/agonizing is that? The plot is so good, how it ties into Caulfield and why it happens in the first place, like wow.  The care, and the hurt, and the fatigue that Michael has in this story, oh you just want to wrap him in a blanket. There’s a tiny throwaway line about how one of the first things Michael learned to do in foster care was to make himself heavy and unmovable- and you instantly picture kid!Michael not wanting to be removed from a house - like my heart broke! The structure of the story, with the background of his just how much he loves Alex but how badly it hurts to see him die, really makes this study of 1x12 special. Along with all the angst, there’s tiny gallows humor lines, so am I weird, that I laughed through a couple of these scenes even as Michael kept dying?

Petty pace by @aewriting (11,600) Aewriting has a couple of stellar AUs, so trying to pick just one was difficult, but I rather feel this story is sadly underappreciated it (mind the tags). It was a remix of @iwontbeyourmedicine ‘s fantastic ‘Freaky Friday’, where the humans and aliens swap roles. Alex in the role of Michael basically was something I had never pictured until Ly wrote that story, and now feel utterly changed by it, especially with this backstory- the idea of Jesse Manes bringing a foster child home? Incredibly well done because there’s an off the charts level of menace in this story. The way Jesse watches Alex, who at first mistakes it for how a pedophile might size up a victim, but then catches on quickly that it’s so much worse in a lot of ways. And Alex is such a loner in the beginning, even as he reconnects with his pod siblings Liz and Maria, he’s still planning on keeping his head down and leaving Roswell far behind. Like freedom is literally the only thing he can conceive of for himself, no real dreams outside of that until Michael slips under his defenses. I probably could have saved this story for angst day- because the second half of the story, if you don’t sob while you read it, then I dunno. It’s helpful to read Ly’s story right afterward as a reminder that things do get better for Alex ten years later. In a lot of ways this story is sadder than canon (though there’s no murder of Rosa/4th alien), I’m comforted that at least Alex has Liz in the aftermath, alike in heartache in a way that Michael didn’t have because of the pact he and Max made about Isobel in canon.

Unexpected tidings by @bestillmyslashyheart (24,800) Another rewrite of canon, that explores a couple of very interesting questions, like what would it look like if Michael never made it back to Roswell as a kid but met Alex by chance in 2008? Imagine the cornerstone of the Lost Decade love affair revolving around the mundane questions of a long distance relationship that wasn’t built on the pain of the shed or Rosa’s death? Marlo writes an amazing take on this, that is both real and deep with the normal couple problems, before introducing that spanner in the works of oh yeah, aliens are real. With Michael on the east coast, and Alex finishing off his service in Roswell, Project Shepherd still entangles Alex with Liz bringing him in on the secret in hopes that with his hacker skills he can track down the third alien child that Max and Iz remember so they can warn him. As interesting as the current plot was, I found myself absolutely revitted the slow piecemeal reveals that Marlo doled out about Alex and Michael’s relationship over time. (I also while rereading this recently got very nostaglic for season 1 Alex who didn’t trust Jesse as far as he could toss him.) 

Don’t Punish Me For What I Feel by @winged-fool (3,600) Tarsus IV AU - another wonderful author with a catalog of great AUs, both sci-fi and dark, and honestly it was difficult to narrow it down to one. This story, well in 2009 I was a hard core Trek movie fan, so when I saw a trek-fusion story appear, I knew I would love it just on that basis. The thing is, this gave me Michael as the Captain, a surprisingly rare role for these space fusions, even though genius level repeat offender Jim Kirk and genius level repeat offender Michael Guerin seems pretty married in my mind as a connection. As a Tarsus-like story, all the tags are well earned by the story that Alex finally shares with Michael. It hit on so many levels, the hurt/comfort level for sure, but also to have a story where Michael is this stalwart protector of Alex was really nice to find. 

this isn’t the ‘holiday best friends championship’ by @usbournejez (6,090) alright to leave this on a lighter note, my final AU rec is this masterpiece by Kieran that was part of Malex Secret Santa gift fics- and what a gift it was to all of us! The way she writes established Malex is first-rate, because she always includes their canon-levels of snark/sharpness but it’s never directed at each other and that’s something I love. Here we have Alex, where we learn in just a few short lines, is a huge control freak but has the extremely big emotional handicap, and that’s his love/fondness/deserve to caretake Michael. Emotional cactus Alex who is soft for Michael? Love it. There are small drops of angsty backstory peppered in this, but really that just fuels just how sweet and wonderful the main theme of the story- which is Alex might hate the whole world at large, he loves, protects and worships Michael (and vice versa). As someone who can bake cookies, but that’s about it, I was still enthralled with the baking details and this story has never failed to encourage me to eat dessert before dinner basically. 

#rnmcreate2020 #malex fic #roswell new mexico #malex fic rec #malex #MALEX FEELS #michael guerin #alex manes #fandom positivity #worship our great authors in this fandom #can we pretend it's Wednesday? #a day late and a dollar short #working on today's now!

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Too Smart for Your Own Good: Part 2

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader, (Past and Future) Henry Cavill x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, one night stand, unprotected sex

Word Count: 2,129

A/N: Doesn’t have a completed end yet, but just giving you more content to try to get myself out of a writing funk.

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Your father, Negan, chuckled as you got off the golf cart in front of the trailer you’d be celebrating Christmas in again, like you had for three of the past ten years, at the Los Angeles County State Prison.

“Hi, daddy.” You breathed in relief, grateful to spend any amount of time with the only family member that you could completely trust. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry fucking Christmas to you, too, Princess. Fuck you, give ‘em.” He barked as he pulled the bags of food and your clothes off the back of the cart before you could even think to reach for them. You simply rolled your eyes and grabbed your guitar case before thanking the officer and heading inside the family visit trailer. “So what kinda trouble did you get into this week?”

“Well…” You sighed as you sat down at the small table in the kitchen. “… I went to Cleveland on Saturday and flew back yesterday morning. Pretty sure I got pregnant, too.”

“You fucking what?!” Your dad roared as he slammed a box of Mac and Cheese down on the counter. “Fucking Henry?”

“Henry is not coming back!” You shouted back, defensively. “And does it fucking matter? I made a choice, two choices actually, to sleep with some douche bag and not take Plan B after. It is what it fucking is.”

“So what, you're just gunna throw away your fucking life…” He started as he went back to throwing groceries in the cabinets, angrily. 

“No, I made the choice to not be fucking alone any more!” You interrupted as you looked over at him. You couldn't hide the hurt in your eyes when he turned around to stare at you, shocked that you were actually talking about your emotions.

“Sweetheart…” He breathed as he abandoned his task and came over to sit down in front of you. “You are not fucking alone…”

“I am alone, daddy.” You nearly whispered as you put your feet up on your chair and wrapped your arms around your legs. “Mom’s dead, and you're in here for who knows how much longer. And Henry…” You scoffed and shook your head. “Henry isn't coming back. He loves being some hit shot doc the Army more than he ever loved me. So other than my research, which I've all but abandoned anyways out of sheer boredom, I have nothing. I have no one, daddy. Just the occasional visit from Ashleigh and some of the harlots from the club. Maybe a once a month lunch date with some of the people from UCLA. But that's it. So I made a choice not to get the morning after pill after I stared at the box for over an hour and weighed out the pros and cons. And I would much rather raise a sperm donor baby than be alone in that house anymore.”

“OK.” Negan whispered with a nod as he rested his hand on your bent knee. “OK. I don't fucking like it, but I will get on that train all the fucking same.” Tears welled in your eyes as you rested your cheek on the back of his hand, and you closed your eyes to hide them. “So I'm gunna be a grandpa?”

“Maybe.” You choked the slightest bit as you opened your eyes to look at him again. “It just happened but I know I'm ovulating…”

“Eww fucking gross.” He fake gagged to get you to smile as he pulled his hand free and got up to finish putting groceries away. “I don't wanna hear that shit.”

“That's what you get for raising a daughter with no filter.” You pointed out as you propped your chin between your still bent knees.

“Fucking gross.” He repeated with a laugh. “So the fuck was in Cleveland? This fuckin guy?”

“Ashleigh’s client. He’s a rock rapper that needed someone that could learn music fast and played the guitar well. So Ash landed on me. But dude is a total self absorbed prick. B minus in… well in the broom closet.”

“I'll have Simon kill him.” He said almost 100% seriously.

“You are not going to kill this idiot for being bad at sex.”

“No, I'm gunna fucking kill him for laying a Goddamn hand on my daughter.” He responded with a smile as he balled up the last empty grocery bag and put it in the recycling bin.

“You're an idiot.” You laughed as you grabbed your guitar and got up to sit outside for a while.

“Hey, be nice to your old man.” He huffed as he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a pack of matches off the table and followed you out front to enjoy the California sun. “And go easy on me today.”

“Yea fucking right.” You laughed as you sat down on one of the plastic lawn chairs and pulled out your guitar, which took you almost a year of bribery to be able to get it into the jail it now lived in in the first place. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Pain in my Goddamn ass.” He grumbled around his cigarette as he moved his chair out off the shade and pulled off his blue prison issue shirt for as long as he could get away with it. “Alright… rock music from the 70’s.” You nodded at the category and tuned your guitar before picking an easy AC/DC song to start with. Which is pretty much how you always spent your days when you visited your father in prison.

——

Your office hadn’t looked so chaotic since you were working on a regular basis, but as of that morning, every available surface was covered in every single medical textbook, (with a focus on pregnancy and pediatrics) and motherhood book you could get your hands on. The dry erase board that usually had your equations to see if your Milky Way black hole theory was a possibility, had been wiped clean and replaced with columns upon columns of notes, to separate the ridiculous from the actual facts you would need to go through a pregnancy and raise a child.

You were blazing through the ‘Essential Neonatal Textbook’, when your house phone rang, startling you the slightest bit and forcing you to pull your attention away from a long list of the benefits of cord blood. You sighed and snatched up your headset as you set the book down to work through all of the information and pick out the more important bits and pieces to make the best informed decision.

“Ms. (Y/L/N)? I have a Colson Baker here to see you.” Your fingers froze with the cap of the marker in one hand and the marker itself in the other.

“You can let him in.” You sighed as you took a step forward and started a new list under the newborn column in the middle of the board. You heard the line click in your ear and you wrote quickly, trying to get some of the information down so you knew where to pick up when you came back inside. You got a short start and reluctantly forced yourself away from your research  to let your guest in. You started to work out your ideas vocally as you opened up the two gates and watched his purple Lamborghini pull into your driveway. You waited just long enough for him to make it half way to you, before you turned and headed inside to add more to your cord blood list with him following behind you.

“Umm… what the fuck is this?” Kels asked as he looked at the board over your shoulder in shock.

“Did you vaccinate Casie?” You asked as you continued to write.

“You’re fucking pregnant?!” He shouted over you as you capped your marker and set it back down on the easel.

“I am pregnant.” You said evenly as you walked over to find the ‘The Umbilical Cord Blood Controversies in Medical Law’ book to cross reference the former textbook. “Did you vaccinate Casie?”

“Were you gunna fucking tell me?” He shouted as you flipped through the pages, easily reading 20,000 words a minutes despite the distraction of your visitor.

“I was neither planning on telling you, nor keeping it from you.” You said simply. “I want nothing from you, Mr. Baker. I don’t need money, and I don’t need you to step up to be a father. You were a one night stand that I chose to not take Plan B after. My choice, my child, my body, my life.” He looked at you completely lost for words as you set your finished book down and headed back to the white board to add and change notes. “I would like your family medical history, though. I could easily do a diagnostics test and an MSS while I’m pregnant but…”

“Oh, I’m gunna be fucking sick.” He groaned behind you as you finished your idea and turned to move on to the next section. You grabbed the trash can and handed it to him on the way past as you tried to keep your thoughts as straight as possible, relatively unsuccessfully.

“I don’t wanna be alone.” You sighed as you looked over at him for a moment. “And after the way you treated me that night, the way you just used me and threw me away like I didn’t mean a Goddamn thing…” You exhaled through your nose and shook your head as you looked away from him and out the back door to the ocean. 

“I don’t care that you’re not happy here, Mr. Baker. I don’t care if you want to be in this child’s life or not. I don’t care if you see me or this child as a mistake, or what you see us as at all. I just don’t care. What I care about is having a calm, healthy pregnancy, and becoming a mother. And I will not tolerate having someone come into our lives to walk in and out of it because he never wanted us in the first place. Nor will I tolerate someone treating me like I’m worthless trash in front of my child.” Kels didn’t say a single word as you shook your head and turned back around to go back to work. “Stay as long as you want. I have work to do.” 

As Colson sat and thought, you went over to find a book about banking cord blood so you could round out that column. The next column was pros and cons of breastfeeding verses formula, which was a lot more extensive than you originally expected due to the varying opinions on length and benefits, but after reading through seven different books, and writing and erasing conflicting notes, he finally spoke up.

“Breastfeed for a year.” He almost whispered as he watched you work. “That’s what we did with Casie. And yea, we vaccinated her.” You nodded your head as you erased the idea you were writing and stood up to make a note in the vaccines column. “I don’t turn my back on my kids.”

“OK.”

“I’m sorry.” He continued as you capped your marker “It’s no excuse but I was high as fuck and running on adrenaline. I used you and that was shitty as fuck.”

“Yes it was.” You agreed with a nod as you leaned against the front of your desk and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Well I’m fucking sorry.” He said a little harshly. “And I’m sorry for knocking you up.”

“Pregnancy happens, Colson.” You breathed with a shrug of your shoulders. “I’m obviously a little more prepared since I actually made the decision…”

“Yea, that’s a fucking understatement.”

“OK, you can fucking leave and I can file a restraining order.” You snapped. “What’s done is done. I’m pregnant, you’re the father, your kid and my kid have a new sibling. You’re not going to have to pay child support, I’m taking primary custody with open visitations. And no, I am not going to date you. Not now, not ever. You left a sour taste in my mouth and I want nothing to do with you or your crazy lifestyle.”

“You’re just making this super fucking easy, aren’t you?” He asked as he pushed himself out of his chair. “I’m outta here. I’ll get your number from Ash and I’ll be in touch.” You rolled your eyes and gestured toward the door behind him.

“You can see yourself out.”

“Such a fucking bitch.” He muttered as he stormed out the doors and through the atrium to leave. You let out a huff and shook your head as you went back to your research.

“Idiot fucking sperm donor.”

Part 3

#machine gun kelly x reader #mgk x reader #colson baker x reader #henry cavill x reader #too smart for your own good

[another-snape-story]

First Days as Hogwarts Professor

Chapter X

Your first days as Hogwarts Professor were tense. New job required bringing all your professional and communicative skills into use. Quite a big contrast to the hasteless rhythm of empty castle you got used to. You had no time for leisure, even short walks outside were beyond the permissible – lesson plans and first assignments needed to be checked fully booked your schedule. You even had to take your notes for meals to spare yourself some precious minutes.

Taking place beside your offish colleague at the teacher’s table in the Great Hall became your habit, and soon you started considering that chair yours. His company was just what you needed – he never spoke much – actually, he never spoke at all unless you addressed him, what you really appreciated since your thoughts were now lost in working routine, so your conversations often had to be reduced to simple exchange of polite greetings.

Snape on the other hand was secretly dying to know how you were doing, but seeing how busy you were he didn’t dare disturbing you with silly questions. As much as he was pissed with Potter and all the bitter memories of the past which surfaced in his mind with boy’s arrival, he itched to have at least the briefest contact with you during the day. As much as Potter got on his nerves, you – to his utter disbelief – had right the opposite effect.

During meals Snape found himself focused more on you sitting beside him, than on his plate, unconsciously trying to prolong awareness of your presence. The tail of his eye stroked your silhouette every time you came to sight, whether he wanted it or not, and – consternated – he realized that all the shit he has been through in his miserable life still wasn’t enough to destroy him completely, no – fate decided to play another joke on him to see if he could bear more pain and emotional turmoil.

Less than a week passed since the start of the term, but Snape knew he would find you in the staff room at this hour – for some reason you preferred working there, rather than in your office. Little did he know you stayed here just to have another chance to see him.

Absorbed into studying something, you were sitting on the armchair with a pile of notes on your lap, a book on the armrest and two more on the side table, paying no attention to what was happening around. Snape carefully closed the door not to interrupt you and quietly sat on the other armchair watching you from afar. Withdrawn in your thoughts you gave him a rare opportunity to admire your real self, which he couldn’t miss. The way you slightly slouched over your papers as your hand scribbled down some lines, the way you frowned studiously flipping through pages, the way your lips moved from time to time as your eyes ran across the text made him lose the track of time.

Yawning, you tilted your head and rubbed your neck to chase fatigue away, as suddenly you noticed you were not alone and startled.

“Merlin! You scared me to death!” you laughed a little embarrassed. “How did it happen that I missed you? Long sitting here?”

“Not really,” Snape lied. With a straight face he rose to his feet and took a random book from the shelf, pretending it was the only thing that mattered to him at the moment. After looking through its contents, he put it back and took another one.

“Is everything fine?” you dared asking although his look suggested to better not bothering him.

“As fine as it can be after these two dunderheads –” Snape’s face twitched in disgust, “– Longbottom and Finnigan – melted a cauldron in my class,” he snapped annoyed.

“You said Longbottom?” you rolled your eyes displeased, sharing your colleague’s indignation. “This ‘dunderhead’ as you called him fainted (!) in my class! And all we were doing – just making a cut on frog’s carcass! I guess he’d have a heart attack once we get to a real dissection…” you put all your notes aside, weakly sinking back in the armchair. “But it’s nothing in comparison to your destroyed cauldron,” you giggled. “The boy’s a disaster!”

“Oh you find it funny?” Snape frowned. He walked up to you and sagged on the sofa, which stood beside. “There’s more to come. Wanna know the whole story?”

“You bet!” you leaned toward him, your eyes shining with curiosity.

“Well, the cauldron wasn’t empty…”

“No way!”

“Yep,” Snape sighed.  “Cure for boils. The damn simplest potion,” he emphasized each word, “but the idiot managed to screw it up!”

“He spilled it, right?” you assumed impatiently, craving for more details.

“What would you expect? Of course he spilled it!” he complained.

You covered your mouth with both hands. You sympathized with the man and would’ve killed the boy if it happened in your class, but now you felt like bursting into laughter. You’d give anything to see Professor Snape dealing with the chaos which followed this little accident and just couldn’t help.

“It was everywhere!” Snape continued. “The floor, a few desks, even children’s shoes! But…” Snape’s eyes flashed, and a vicious grin appeared on his face. “Longbottom almost turned into a boil himself. It will serve him right!”

“Don’t you feel sorry for the boy?” you sniggered.

“Should I?” Snape’s brow sprang in distinctive manner of his.

You got up to your feet and flopped on the sofa beside your colleague.

“You’re a bad person, Professor Snape!” you declared teasingly.

He answered you with a bitter smile and got serious at once. “Yes…” he whispered. “You have no idea how bad actually.” His head landed on the backrest as he closed his eyes. Your cheerful state of mind disappeared at once. You watched him, pondering what a broken soul must be there behind this impassive face. The one who pleads bad, can’t be bad for real.

“Do you want to talk?” you asked quietly.

“No.”

“Okay…” you followed suit and rested your head beside his, keeping a decent distance.

It was late after curfew. Nothing disturbed the silence but ticking of the old pendulum clock standing in the corner. Its smooth copper bob reflected moonlight each time it swung up to the pale spot on the wall as a reminder that the time still went on. Wishing it would stop, you closed your eyes – the moment was way too pacifying to let it go. Being in the same room with this man – no matter how bad he considered himself – was a pleasure. You didn’t even need words – just sitting next to him turned out to be enough.

For a split second Snape alarmed that you might leave, offended by his harsh tone or his unwillingness to talk, and turned his head to make sure you were still there. And you were. He smiled relieved. He couldn’t get why you put up with him. Realizing how cold and detached he behaved most of the time, he didn’t believe someone would tolerate such attitude. But you did. This made him feel even worse – guilt washed over his heart, tormenting his mind. Guilt. Snape learned to live with it through the years. He was painfully sick with himself.

“How long have you been tenuring this position?” your hushed voice broke the silence while your body remained motionless.

“Ten years,” he answered quietly, his glance wandering the curves of your profile.

Head sloped to Snape’s side, your eyes met his.

“Ten years?! And how do you manage to endure all this?” your hand waved a circle around the room, meaning the whole school in general. “It’s already killing me, I swear! You assured me I’d bore myself to death? So when is it going to happen?”

Snape smirked sympathetically. “You’ll get used to it.”

“You were right about me,” you admitted with a sigh.

“Dare to explain?”

“The day when I arrived here. You said teaching wasn’t my vocation. You were right, Professor. You were right at every point concerning me so far…”

Your confession made him speechless for a moment. Suddenly you appeared so weak, so exposed before him. You were tired. He knew, if he let you continue, you might regret it the next day and decided to prevent you from making mistakes.

“Then I won’t be wrong, saying you need some rest,” Snape smiled kindly, his quiet voice caressing your ears.

“I do,” you agreed. “I’m exhausted.”

“I’ll walk you down.” With these words Snape rose to his feet; his tall dark figure approached the side table where you left your notes and picked them up. The man opened the door, holding it for you, and you followed him.

On the way to the dungeons you asked yourself, why a man like him would spend ten years of his life in a place like this? It certainly couldn’t be his choice. But what kept him here? You’ll have enough time to find out.

<<<Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >>>

Tag: @diaryofafan17 @yul-is-sparkling @fullmoonshadowwrites @forthehonourof @mayumikurosake @redrehab @space-helen @fluffymadamina nadiigh @theworldisugly-22​ @lukaerith-morningstar​ @sighsinkhuzdul​ @67-chevy-baby @aquila-leo

#snape #severus snape #snape x reader #severus snape x reader #snape fanfiction #severus snape fanfiction

[okimargarvez]

REVERSE - 19

Original title: Reverse.

Prompt: Penelope is the new girl on the BAU team and Luke tries to treat her cold.

Warning: A.U., possible OOC.

Genre: drama, romantic, family, friendship.

Characters: Luke Alvez, Penelope Garcia, BAU team, Derek Morgan, O.C. Sam Cooper’ team, Roxy.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 62 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💑😘👓🔦🐶❗🎲🎈👻🎬🎵.

Song mentioned: Amici per errore, Tiziano Ferro.

Reverse- Masterlist

GARVEZ STORIES

19 # Friends elsewhere, friends by mistake...

Since a while, his life has become an endless series of I shouldn't have. The last bullshit, to be added to the bottom of an endless list, was to accompany JJ to prison. He stayed out, but her expression told him everything he needed to know. She is one of his best friends, of course, not like Chrissie... but she has always been a separate matter. However, he cares a lot about her and cannot bear to see her so destroyed. Like there is nothing they might do to change things. They remained embraced in that shabby courtyard for at least five minutes, amid the astonished looks of the prison guards. And it was as if through that grasp he had absorbed his friend's pain. And not only that. Backing to the base, he ran to the bathroom, where he is still, spewing even his soul. He has cleaned up any trace, but his face is too pale for his usually darker complexion. Hair is wet, pulled back. He made no effort to settle down. He doesn’t expect visits, not there, then. Not she, over all.

Already the ticking of the heels should be a good clue, but his brain today has decided not to work and his intuition too. -Luke, are you okay?- Garcia is standing in front of him, in her white dress with lipsticks and mascara (not low-cut), her flower and pink shrug. Her lost expression.

She had just left the toilets when she heard noises from the corridor, noises that she identified with someone in pain. It wasn't any of her, business but then she had that totally irrational feeling and she understood, she sensed that it was Luke. For this she entered without announcing herself, not even considering the possibility that it was someone else or that he was not alone. -You are in the men's room.- he points out the obvious. But she is trying to recover from that unprecedented and so intimate vision. She has already seen him sad, embittered and above all angry, for example when they returned with Reid handcuffed or during the bail process. She never liked this, though. Those black shadows that she had only caught in passing inside his eyes are now dancing freely. He seems to be sick both physically and emotionally. He is completely down. She forces herself to answer him, rejecting the need to hug him.

She stays where she is, on the threshold, without approaching. -I know, you think they'll arrest me for this?- the joke has no effect, not even a half grimace, absolutely nothing. She swallows, but now she is alone in this mess and can no longer look the other way... if she ever succeeds. -Hey, what happened?- she asks, in a sweet, sad, low, sugary, comforting tone. All in one package. Luke turns away from her, staring at the sink. She ventures to look at him. She doesn’t know that her words were like medicine on his wounds. After an endless pause, realizing that he won't get rid of her so easily, he faces her again.

He shakes his head. -Nothing, absolutely nothing.- his eyes are dull, vague, even if Garcia senses that he hasn't cried. Which is already something, but too little. She doesn’t think that he is one who often allows himself to cry. -Go ahead with your life.- he claims. His tone is nuanced, so empty. He doesn't really try to drive her away.

She understands that he needs a shock, to recover, or at least to break trough it. Away the sweetness, then. Hard way are needed, as with one of her adoptive brothers, who loves to bask in self-pity and watch others solve his problems. -Now don't start talking like a woman, Alvez.- here, a little twinkle in his pupils. -You know perfectly well I won't go away.- she says, showing more convinced than she really is. The time has come to take advantage of the skills learned thanks to the theater course recommended at the group's meetings on the creative elaboration of mourning. -Now you understand how stubborn I can be.- she adds, crossing her arms. Luke sighs and she realizes that he has given up. He runs a hand over his face.

He speaks without looking at her. -At least let's get out of here.- his voice sounds so fragile that only by a miracle Garcia doesn’t hold him against her breast, like a mother with her baby. And he's damn sexy in this moment too. They walk along the corridor at a certain distance, until they reach one of the balconies that face outwards. Even that time of the joke about Roxy, he had chosen the outdoors. Perhaps he finds comfort in the caress of the wind. Or maybe when something like this happens, he becomes claustrophobic.

She gives him plenty of time to open up, but he doesn't get the message. He clings to the balustrade and looks down. -Therefore?- she captures his gaze for two seconds. She approaches. -I am aware that you would prefer to speak to anyone outside of me.- she suddenly feels selfish, wanting to be the savior at all costs. She sighs. -You want that I call someone? Rossi, JJ, Emily, Tara, Walker?- with the last surname she doesn’t tear a chuckle from him by a hair. Without knowing it, she almost followed a precise hierarchical order. She doesn't say the right name, of course. She can't be there. He reads in her face the awareness of not being that person.

But Luke surprises her doubly. -No. Please.- his is almost a moan. She clears the distance by a few more centimeters. He too. It's the only way he has, in this moment, in this state, to make her understand that he doesn't really want her to leave. He needs her, her words, her understanding. Even if he could never admit it verbally, even if he hadn't that lump in his throat.

Garcia, never been a profiler, has guessed the right explanation at first sight. -Is it about Reid's matter?- man doesn’t move. -I haven't received any new messages.- she then adds, not knowing how to proceed. He sighs, realizing that she is much closer than he thought. He scratches his head.

-Yeah.- he says. It’s still a result. -You know he can get visitors now.- a nod of assent; of course, it was she who had made a chart to establish the order of the visits and had placed herself at the bottom, even after Walker (moving him to tears). -JJ went to see how he was. I accompanied her.- it should be enough, but now that he has removed the cap, everything flows towards the drain. -They hit him. He is hurt.- he looks away suddenly, unable to bear the eyes of the woman, who foreshadows the worst.

-Oh God.- she covers her mouth with her hands. -Is it so bad? He's not going to die...- an absurd smile appears on Luke's lips. She doesn't even think for a thousandth of a second that it's for happiness or relief.

He nods. -Yes, he's serious, but I don't know how to answer the other question.- she sees him tremble. She puts her hand close to take his, but then she doesn't. -Prisons are a microcosm in its own right, as he would say.- a sob escapes him. It is almost the coup de grace. Because he can't really imagine him in that context. His mega brain is useless in that place; in fact, it could even be a problem.

He watches her move her fingers on the railing. -But he did not even find a friend?- she asks him, keeping her tone soft, so as not to increase, if she can't decrease, his level of anxiety and stress. Luke's look climbs along the curves of her body until he stops in the eyes.

-Two, according to JJ.- he tries to remember the names she said to him. -One is called Delgado and the other... Shaw, I think.- Garcia lights up like a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. She would definitely play the shooty star in the crib.

-Shaw?- she repeats that surname, which had no particular meaning for him. -It won't be Calvin Shaw?- he nods, recognizing the name, hearing the voice of the other blonde in his head. He frowns forehead and eyebrows.

-Why, do you know him?- he can't understand what someone like Garcia has to do with a human trash (of the worst kind) like that guy. He didn't know him, but he read his file, furtively, taking advantage of the fact that JJ was driving. It is partly the cause of his nausea. The idea that Reid was bonding with him...

Garcia shakes her head, a cascade of blond curls. -I don’t, but Morgan...- she doesn’t need to specify who she is talking about. If he knows, better for him, otherwise, it is not fundamental information . -I think he took care of his case. If I remember correctly, it was one of us.- Luke nods. -He killed his Russian contact.- he doesn’t hold back, doesn’t choose to add that detail, but his mouth opens and the words come out on their own.

-Yes, and probably his own baby.- she opens her eyes and looks at him in shock. Now she has all the elements to understand why he is so angry, even if he never thought of wanting to become a father, start a family, carry on the name of the Alvez, with discontent of his entire family, especially of his beloved grandmother.

She swallows, he can hear her sucking the air and holding her breath. -God, was she pregnant?- he breaks eye contact. Absurdly he sees Chrissie with her baby bump, her husband Richard with the baby in his arms, when they announced that he would be the godfather, if he wanted to.

He pushes the image away with difficulty, closing his eyelids. -Considering HCG levels, it would seem so.- he is not prepared for her reaction. Garcia punches the balustrade, probably risking to get hurt, at least to break a fingernail.

-What a bastard!- she exclaims. It is the first time he has heard her say a dirty word. -I'll call Derek and ask him to have a chat with this… man.- she reassures him, but her gaze is bad, another novelty. Can she really hate people? Maybe then she's human. -He is the best in this kind of thing.- she says, full of pride for her best friend.

He can just say one word. -Well.- there is no problem, she speaks enough for both. She comes closer an inch, without noticing, or maybe it's him. He has no certainty, nothing in any area.

-And hopefully in the meantime Emily and Fiona will be able to move the bureaucratic waters.- he nods, feeling a flame developing in his chest. He cannot remain indifferent to her way of expressing herself. But then he hears a familiar sound that catches her gaze going towards the bag, towards the cell phone.

-There is a case, there isn’t it?- a flicker of provocation. Garcia willingly takes the blame (actually not hers) for interrupting his opening moment.

But then she reaches out and finally squeezes his hand, hard. -Luke, trust me.- her gaze is equally intense. -We can save Reid.- it sounds like a promise.

But he can't risk evreything. How would he come out in the event of a defeat? He lets go of her hand and shakes his head. -I wish I could believe you.-

-

TAGS: @martinab26  @thinitta  @shyladystudentfan  @pegasus-scifichick @paperwalk  @inlovewithgarvaz @the-ellen-stuff @astressedwriter @symphonyashley  @kofforever @myhollyhanna23 @tootsienoodles  @centiaaa  @penelopesluke @dumbdraws @onefail-at-atime @reidskitty13@adorarapril @princesstreaclefanfic @glocknade111-blog @magiunific @fallen-novak @dreatine @hopelessdayydreamer @painterofhorizons @racing-against-the-sunset @majo0803 @vickyd-2012  @writing-whats-that @wearejuststars@klngzeewp @heylittlehollywood @kirstenvangsness @blu3crush@futureperfectmedia-blog   @jade-cheshire3303   @life-between-pages @tooshorttobeanadult @xxlonelyghostxx @honeydoodles @pennypeabody @alessiapolimeni @londonrosebooklovingwitch @bbyxk @full-on-fangirl @catlynhoss05 @lushmp3

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #spencer reid #tiziano ferro #amici per errore #a.u.

[deniigi]

There’s a tornado coming towards my town and we’re all huddled in shelters. Got anything lying around to distract me?

I sure fucking do now!

I’ll give you two, here’s the first under the cut. I wrote it today, it’s basically Matthew Murdock’s Steps for How to Make a Family:

How to Make a Family

By Matt Murdock

Step 1. Have a dad.

Step 2. Lose your dad. Bemiserable. Great job, everyone. We’re doing amazing so far.

Step 3. Attempt to find areplacement dad.

Step 4. Fail abysmally.Like, make that shit stunning. Literally ruin your life for the rest of alleternity. Make yourself physically unlovable by all potential foster families,church members, and living humans. Don’t worry if you get tripped up by thisstep, you can repeat this one as many times as it takes for you to learn agoddamn lesson, but be equally warned: you will not learn that goddamn lesson.

Step 5. Go to law schoolbecause fuck it, why the hell not?

Step 6: fall in stupid,hopeless love with your roommate

Step 7: do not account forthe fact that the roommate maybe loves you back. Fuck no. REPRESS. THAT. SHIT.

Step 8. No longer repressthat shit. Accept the roommate. Embrace the roommate. Maybe drunkenly kiss theroommate and then make extraordinarily poor decisions with the roommateinvolving, at least at first, truly horrendous sex on a twin-sized bed.

Step 9. Meet your soulmatein the form of a tiny, angry woman set up to ruin your life by the first faileddad figure.

Step 10. Do not commit murder.

Step 11. Wave goodbye toyour soulmate and sob helplessly on your roommate. Don’t worry. Roomie ain’tgoing anywhere. Cling to this because it is the only thing you’ve got going foryou for the next three years.

Step 12. Have a fuckloadof casual and unhealthy relationships.

Step 13. Graduate.Accidently make a nemesis out of your roommate’s girlfriend who knows more thanhe does and possibly you do that you would do anything to be with the roommate.Including steal him from a perfectly respectable internship with a perfectlyrespectable job offer at the end of it.

Step 14. Set up a lawfirm.

Step 15. Acquire a client.This is family member #2. You will now kill for her. Congratulations.

Step 16. Attempt tosemi-murder some Russians

Step 17. Get found by yourroommate!!

Step 18. Get abandoned byyour roommate!! Well done, everyone, we are back down to one family member.Let’s hope nothing bad happens to them!!

Step 19. Get re-found byyour roommate!! Attempt to make up. Lie a lot about being better and morehonest in future. That’ll show ‘em.

Step 20. Become aterrorist?? Maybe skip this step if possible.

Step 21. Make anintentional nemesis of the Punisher. Congratulations! You have found familymember #3! It doesn’t matter if you don’t fucking want him, he’s yours now,baby!

Step 22. Ruin everyone inyour family’s lives with a botched trial! Break up with the Roommate. Cut tieswith family member #2. Do not fuck her.

Step 23. Re-kindle yoursexual relationship with your soulmate. Oh, by the way, she’s back. We’re goingto call her family member #4 now, ‘cause she’s harder to kill than a fuckingcockroach.

Step 24. Make the mistakeof allowing The Punisher (nemesis) and the soulmate to join forces.

Step 25: Just fuckingmurder your soulmate. Do it, you coward. Yeah, suffer them consequences, youpiece of shit.

Step 26. Get smashed. Getangry. Go out and nigh-eviscerate some folks. Don’t worry, you’ve got a couplemonths for this step/spiral.

Step 27. Trip over theSpider. Menace him. Say it’s his fault. Ignore all apologies and tell theSpider to get and keep the fuck out of your city or else. That’ll fix him.

Step 28. Go on anotherbender. Drink too much. Forget to eat. It’s fine, you’re not alone, you’llalways have the Devil to talk to.

Step 29. Accidently kickthe Spider in the head. Realize now that the Spider is approximately 12 yearsold and you just kicked him in the fucking head. Holy fuck, you fucking disgrace.You fucking child abuser. You are no better from your sensei, not evenan iota.

Step 30. Feel bad.

Step 31. Go on, you ain’tdone yet. I’ll tell you when to fucking stop.

Step 32. Orchestrateanother trip over the Spider. Do it gently this time. Make the same kind offuss but, when his voice does the horrible wavering thing, clear yours andannounce obnoxiously that there’s only one thing to do to stop this and its toteach the Spider how to fight properly.

Congratulations! You have foundfamily member #5! Aw, he’s so happy. Oh wow, he’s still talking.

Jesus fuck. He’s stilltalking.

Step 33. Meet Deadpool.Make tracks. You are an idiot, but not that kind of idiot.

Step 34. Meet Deadpool.Nearly die. Admit that Deadpool might have just saved your goddamn life.Reflect. Reflect. Reflect.

Step 35. Accidently set afoot outside HK and find yourself in the crossfire between a load of morons,Deadpool and the Spider. Do what you do best. Bask in the awe and approval ofthe giant man and the Spider afterwards.

Step 36. Get charmed ontoa team.

Wait. What?

Step 37.  Investigate: why the fuck is the Spidercrying? Who has made the Spider so distraught? He is 12. 15, whatever. Theymust die, whoever they are.

Eliminate the threat. Maybe, sortof, kind of, give away your identity. It’s fine, it’s a mutual exchange. Hisname’s Peter Parker.

Step 38. Alright, a bigstep made up of many little ones, so stick with me. In the absence of reliablesupervision, make shit decisions. Drink too much. Work too much. Sleep never. FuckDeadpool. Yeah, go on. We all knew it was going to happen with your goddamntrack record, pal. Kind of make up with the Roommate and family member #2. Moreor less get back onto speaking terms with them. Hire an office coordinator andan intern for the summer. But most importantly, meet a tiny angry woman with ascarf. Guess what! She’s family member #6. Hey, y’all are mutual functionalalcoholics. Drink to that, babes.

Step 39. Fuck, there’smore. Okay, well. You’ve always wanted a weird brother. Two weird brothers. Oneweird brother and one big, grumpy brother. Oh, yeah. That’s fine. That’s cool.Let’s call them family members #7 and #8.

Damn, it’s getting kind ofcrowded in here.

Step 40. Hey, so. Dunno ifyou’ve noticed with all the bad decision-making things going on, but Deadpool justwent on a bender with you and brought you home at the end of it. He’s kind ofcool with your whole deal with the Roommate. So, that kind of makes him yourbiggest, weirdest family member. So, welcome #9 to the family.

Step 41. THE SOULMATE ISBACK. Girl, did we miss you!! Yeah, totally go out with her to the bottom of apit. That’s safe.

Step 42. Die.

Step 43. Wake up. That’sright, sleeping beauty. Death is still too kind for the likes of you. Hey, bythe way, this lady? You know her and guess what??? She’s been your fuckin’ momthis whole damn time. Congrats, you’ve found family member generation 1, #2.But now, since you are a fucking self-absorbed, suicidal piece of shit, let’scall her family member #10. Or hell, maybe family member #1, since you’ve lostliterally everything you’ve ever worked for and which ever mattered to you.Hell, yeah. Since you’re gonna die like an idiot soon anyways, why the fuck notstart over?

Hello family member #1. Nice tofinally make your acquaintance. Give us a few days to shake off the shock andwe’ll be right with you.

Step 44. Get the fuck backon the rails. Say thank you and I’m sorry to your goddamn mother, for fuck’ssake, she’s been here the whole damn time.

Step 45. Wake the fuck upand appreciate that the Spider and Deadpool and Jessica and Danny and Luke wereall worried as fuck about you. Feel ashamed for that. Bad dog, no biscuit.

Step 46. Celebrate acouple holidays with the guys.

Step 47. Nearly lose thekid, once to Stark, then once to the city.

That’s your baby brother. Yeah,it’s normal to not stop shaking sometimes.

Step 48. The Roommateloves you, you asshole. He and family member #2 want to start up a new firm.Yeah, it’s pretty great, but don’t cry though, ya moron. People are around.

Step 49. Wake up onemorning and realize that your family looks like the following:

Slightly-estrangedbut well-meaning mother

Best friend withthe great hair and a nose for trouble

Frank fuckingCastle (whether you want him or not)

A highlyfunctional alcoholic who thinks you’re funny but won’t admit it

The strangelittle cult-brother

The strangecult-brother’s girlfriend

Your nursefriend who you fucking failed to appreciate earlier, you shithead

The big,sometimes grumpy bullet-proof brother

Your secretary

A spider

The Spider’s mom

The Spider’sbest friend

The Spider’sother best friend/your intern

The merc with amouth

His cat

Your soulmate

Yourroommate/best friend/life partner

And your dad, youfucking moron, he’s been with you in your heart this whole time.

Step 50. Rinse and repeatthe relevant/applicable steps from 1 to 49 for those persons who seem more orless worth it for the foreseeable future.

#fic #matt murdock #didn't post it because the timelines for the DFV are a pain in my ass #but take it and feel better! #let me find another one #ficlet

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Reunion

Here’s the Princess Chloe x Prince Alonso reunion that no one asked for but I did anyway. Very much inspired by “This is not my idea” from The Swan Princess. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItkkTerzTAw

“Now remember dear, you must say hello to Prince Alonso. Córdoba is hosting the event and you two used to have such good times together when we vacationed.” Queen Abigail pinched Chloe’s cheek as the queen swept by the buffet table where Chloe was trying to decide between a blueberry muffin and a mulberry muffin.

Her mom had been reminding her the importance of meeting Prince Alonso ever since they arrived in Cordoba, waxing on old vacations, and “fun times” and every time she met with Chloe she would ask if she’d seen Alonso yet. Chloe knew she couldn’t avoid the fateful meeting forever but she was certainly trying her best. Two days and counting three more until they could set sail for home.

King Juan Ramon, and his wife, Alejandra used to enjoy going to Gibbspeake Island which Queen Abigail graciously allowed them to stay for two weeks every summer. And because Prince Alonso was close to Chloe’s age, at least two years older which he constantly shoved in her face, Queen Abigail and Chloe would join them on their vacation. The parents talking and Chloe and Alonso would play in the sand or in the woods.

Those lovely vacations that her mom liked to reminisce on was a bit different in Chloe’s memory. She hadn’t been able to stand obnoxious Alonso. He always wanted to play the things he wanted like Dragon Killers or tag and if they didn’t play what he wanted, he would say he was too tired. Too lazy was more like it. If they played competitive games like olaball or go fish, he would throw a tantrum when he lost. And that was only if they played together, other times he would make a “man cave” fort and refuse to let her in because it was princes only and simply antagonize her with pranks. That she didn’t take lying down, she pranked back at him and destroyed his man cave and antagonize him as well.

Alonso was annoying and immature and completely self absorbed. All adjectives that her mom used to describe King Hector which Chloe thought was very unfair that her mom was forcing her to get along with Alonso when she had fought all the time with the King of Hectoria.

She used to celebrate with a private dance party in her room the day they would leave and she could go back to her blissful vacation without having to tolerate Alonso’s presence.

Those vacations stopped after Queen Alejandra died and though she knew her mom and King Juan sometimes met up at diplomatic meetings, she hadn’t been obligated to see Alonso.

Until now.

Her mom had said it was high time for her to start putting her royal training into use and go to some meetings and balls with her so she could get a sense of what she would have to do when she inevitably became ruler of Norburg. Though Chloe was excited to show her mom that her lessons were paying off and maybe get acquainted with the Avalorans again, her mom’s insistence that she meet Alonso was starting to ruin her appetite.

She might as well get this over with.

“Hi, Princess Elena!” Chloe greeted the Avaloran princess who was talking with her royal wizard. Unfortunately her Captain of the Guard, Gabe hadn’t come to the ball, preferring to be posted outside on perimeter watch with that Paraiso guard, Manual.

Chloe had to admit, even though he was taken with someone else, she still harbored a slight crush on him. It was that confident guard in a unifrom that got her. She always found a guy in a well-maid suit, formal or uniform or otherwise, to be very very attractive.

“Hello, Chloe. Really, just call me Elena. We’re all kind of princesses here.” She gestured around the room where all the royals were clustered including Princess Valentina, Princess Marisa and Princess Rebecca.

“That’s true.” Chloe nodded, “Speaking of royals, do you know where Prince Alonso is? I have to thank him for inviting Norburg to this event.” She decided to leave off that she already knew him, it was a long story and a headache to think about. 

“He’s right there.” Elena pointed to the far side of the room where a rather attractive man in a red and gold suit was expressively telling some sort of funny story to Prince Marzel, leaving them both breathlessly with laughter.

“No, that’s not, that’s just the guy who greets people at the door.” Chloe chuckled at Elena’s mistake. He was nice too. He told her that she looked lovely and that the cerulean shade of blue she chose really brought out the red of her hair and the green of her eyes. Her hair she had gotten compliments on lots of times, she thought it was her greatest asset, but no one had taken notice of her eyes before.

“Yes, he was greeting people at the door. Because he’s the prince of the hosting kingdom.” Elena said slowly.

“What, wait that’s… he’s” Chloe’s words faded in her throat as she glanced back and forth between Elena and the prince that was Alonso. He couldn’t be! He complimented her dress, the Prince Alonso she knew wouldn’t have complimented her on her appearance. He would have made fun of her. Or he wouldn’t have been too focused on the mirror.

She could see some familiarity now. Same bright brown eyes, same wavy bangs that he was forever flipping back thinking he looked oh-so handsome. He certainly grown. Beneath that well-tailored, fancy outfit, Chloe could see the outlines of his broad chest from the way it sometimes clinged to him. His legs were no longer gangly. He looked like it had utmost control of his movements, looking fluid and confident as he strutted around the room, sometimes showing off a mambo move.

Yes, now she remembered. Alonso had always been a good dancer.

Just as Chloe lost the ability to speak, her heart kicked up a notch fluttering and beating about in her chest and her cheeks grew warm at her belated realization. That door greeter was Alonso and she hadn’t recognized him one bit. She hadn’t even thought he was a prince!

She wondered if Alonso had recognized her or if he hadn’t and would be as surprised by her mature appearance as she was of his.

She thought she improved a little. Her unruly curls were a bit more tamable in a ponytail and her freckles no longer looked like the pimples he teased her about when she was out in the sun too long. Overall, she thought herself attractive enough.

Not that it mattered to her if Alonso found her attractive or not, it would just be a sweet “told you so” for all the times he called her a “baby horse.”

Chloe watched as King Juan Ramon seem to tell something that threw Alonso for a loop for the prince’s jaw dropped and he looked around the room before her gaze stopped at her.

She felt her knees buckle a little before she forced herself to lock them at the sudden intense eye contact.

His eyes were more than bright, she realized, they were simultaneously soft and bold, promising untold moments of fun.

His lips curved into a smile. Not a conceited smirk that seemed to be his default but a warm smile, a welcoming smile.

“Hello again, Princess Chloe.” Alonso strolled up to her, tilting his head down making Chloe aware that now Alonso towered over her by a forehead.

Chloe hesitated for a second, all the proper greeting protacle she had learned and studied and drilled on completely flew out of her head. She never bothered with those anyway when a big bear hug would do.

But should she hug him? Would that be awkward after all these years? But she hugged everybody she met, it wasn’t like it was a special. If anything if she didn’t hug him that would make him seem special.

So she went for it, enthusiastically pinning his arms to his sides and getting a full whiff of his musky cologne. Chloe wanted to cough it was so strong. Thankfully the smell of his freshly shampooed hair countered the cologne enough to be bearable.

And indeed as she hugged him, she could feel some burgeoning muscles. She was surprised by this, the little Alonso she knew was too lazy to ever get off his chair to play olaball, much less seriously work out.

Then again, Alonso was clearly not so little anymore.

“Ah-Chlo-Chl-my suit. You’re crushing my suit and my ribs.” Alonso wheezed.

“Oops sorry.” Chloe let him go and backed away so Alonso could regain his breath but instead of staying at a comfortable distance from her, Alonso got into her personal space again.

“So happy you could come.” He made a sweeping bowed before taking her hand and kissing it.

Chloe bit her tongue to keep her inappropriate nervous giggle from escaping, and hoped she wasn’t turning red as a beet. For a whole vacation, he had called her “Beet head” until she turned red with rage and tried to beat him with a sand shovel.

Chloe curtsied in return, “So happy to be here.”

Chhloe wondered why Alonso still hadn’t let go of her hand when she looked around to see people milling around the room and one or two couples swaying on the dance floor. Elena being one of them as she had sneaked away from Chloe’s side.

“Care to dance?” Alonso indicated to the dance floor. Chloe swore she heard Alonso gulp before he meaningfully went on, “I want to hear all that you’ve been up to since I’ve seen you last. I mean you- you’ve changed so much.”

“Yes.” Chloe smiled brightly. All her doubts and complaints about seeing Prince Alonso again were completely gone. Instead her dread was replaced with eagerness to get to know the Alonso that was standing in front of her.

“I’d love to dance.”

#princess chloe #prince alonso #elena of avalor #my fanfic #reunion #drabble

[sighingsiren-tales]

ZODIAC MEN

So, I haven’t really said it much here but I have been healing from something terrible and this was my way of healing. I love astrology and this is something that I may start permanently in addition to the fan fiction I write here. I hope you enjoy it~Kae

*Note, this is from the perspective of a Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Mercury, Virgo Venus and Rising and Scorpio Mars. (I’m a female) 

ARIES

❌My middle school boyfriend. Ha, you still hit me up and tell me i look cute and how we’re gonna have kids from time to time, maybe even flirt with me here and there. can’t say i don’t like it the attention but that ship sailed long ago. Funny, a definite goofball, popular after his insecurity phase was over. 

❌one of the first guys i fucked in college. lol you were fun, fun as hell. you were always easy going, funny and matched my energy relatively well but you were most definitely a fuckboy (sorry) you just liked pussy and women too much for us to ever work, assuming you even wanted us to work. You still tried to hit on me when i had a boyfriend (who was your roommate) and when you had a girlfriend. Bold as hell and he was h u g e.

❌ah, one of the few of your kind that I actually like on campus. loud personality but actually very timid. always asks me how to seduce people and tells me that I get what i want relatively easy. a ball of insecurities and emotion. learn your value king and get over that. 

TAURUS

❌over emotional man child lmao sorry. you want someone to be your mother and hold your hand and i can honestly say no one has hurt me like you have. too self absorbed, needs reassurance, can’t be himself. drinks and smokes too much. navy dude.

❌one of my self proclaimed brothers. he’s a bit of a hard ass and a commitmentphobe but he has a big heart and truly acts like a second dad haha. i love him as a friend. caring, soft, funny, protective asf (especially of me), won’t let me walk back to my dorm alone. 

❌my little brother. a pain in my ass. acts tough and hard, uses a lot of slang. needs attention and reassurance often. loves hard but can be annoying. told me he cared about me when i ran away. needs a healthier way to show his emotions. we butt heads a lot as kids. stubborn as hell. love you though kid 

❌ahh, this one (he’s a cusp kid, 4/20 hehe blaze it). honestly a super hero. so caring and sweet but also kinky and your handprint is kinda still on my ass. i had a crush on you before you did. honest, respectful, loveeessssss his mom, has a lot of female friends (which makes me a bit jealous). anime buddy. patient, protective, a bit of a temper (it’s kinda hot), the best kind of man. can get me to open up but strengthen me at the same time?? my superman, the only man i don’t mind being vulnerable to. reminds me of an anime character. a warrior with a heart of g

GEMINI

 ❌fun while it lasted and i’m pretty sure i was your flavor of the month and you were mine as well. you were funny, and meshed with my energy well. didn’t last long in bed tho😬 your laugh was contagious. really good dancer. can’t hold a relationship for your LIFE. not good with emotions, a free spirit. kinda wishy washy. didn’t like it when i avoided hanging out. 

❌quiet, had an intimidating presence. everyone thought you were scary but you were funny, logical and very headstrong. strong silent type. always opened up with me but no one else. has a “lone wolf mentality” strongest man i know. made me happy with who i am, gave the best advice. unmovable, easy going. the one i stay with at all family functions. a big chunk of my heart. love you big bro.

CANCER

 ❌absolute trash lmao. always attracted drama and stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. ultimate instigator. i think you just need a diary and a xanax. everyone said you tried to break up me and my (then) boyfriend?? cute but annoying. an acquired taste (and that’s me being nice)

❌my little baby brother. the sweetest thing upon planet earth. always asks me if i’m okay, comes to me when he’s sad and cried when i told him i was leaving for college. tells me he loves my hair and nails and always protects his big sis. always excited to see me. so smart, a damn genius actually. amazing with technology. i love you so much little man.

LEO

 ❌ahh my first love. so caring, tender, sweet but had too many scars and wounds for us to heal together. we made so many mistakes with one another but you were always trying to be my own personal naruto and, for a while, you were. and for those few months you were my everything. kept me going when i wanted to die. kissed my scars all the time. always bought me food. loved to spoil me. had a temper and hid his emotions. put everyone before himself too much. things ended bad and our egos clashed. i hurt you. i’m sorry. the last words we said to each other were good bye and i love you. 

❌someone at college who wants to fuck me lmao. always hugs me really tight, stares me down in a way where i know he’s undressing me mentally. says love is bullshit but wants a happy ending and i know it. also also, you’re not fucking me lmao.

VIRGO

 ❌my summertime coworker. a party animal, mentally resilient and smart as all hell. we fooled around once lmao but it never got far. funny as fuck. never spoke about what he had going on but i know he was hurting. a perfectionist, a scammer. 

❌sweet in a weird kinda of way. always asks if i’m okay. always asks if i need something, always willing to help. trusts me to make my own decisions and encourages me to think for myself and watch my back. hard working, quiet with bit of a hardshell. never lets anything dictate who he is. love you uncle. 

LIBRA

❌my distant friends ex; wishy washy. not very good with commitment. really cute room and good fashion sense. pretty lips; respectful and honest fuck boy. made a move on me once after a party once. pops in and out of my life. 

❌invited me to a gala once. loved the attention of having me on my arm. hated my ex. smoked weed a lot, easy going and soft spoken. never got angry, went along with anything. probably in jail or in some legal trouble right now.

SCORPIO

❌you wanna fuck me. lol i know you do and you’ve made it clear as the only thing you want me for. came up to my room and tried to barge in after i told you not to. kinda creepy. quiet. doesn’t say much. always seemingly where i am. in my same major, soooo tall, soft spoke voice. 

❌oh boy. obsessive. possessive, jealous. we were good friends. then you fell in love with me. i didn’t think of you that way. you told me it was okay and then began to blow up my phone with messages, text my friends to ask where i was and blow up on me when i said we needed space and cursed me out. safe to say we don’t talk anymore. when i blocked you, you emailed me an apology and asked my friend to tell me you’re sorry and give me your letter. overthinks a lot. always needs to be in the know and/or control. consuming. reallll timid and unconfident. weed addict. total beta male.

❌you’re sexy. i’ll give you that. and you’re smart. you pop and out of my life. easy going. sweet. quiet, distant and a little annoying with your wishy washyness. i took your virginity 😬 lmao yikes. always around a group of females. nice hair, always played in mine. really funny and the times where you matched my energy it was magic. 

SAGITTARIUS

❌lol uh i knew you in high school. went to harvard. super super attractive, very competitive and very funny. had a pretty chill vibe. i wanted to kiss you. had perfect teeth, the valedictorian of the class before me. 

❌a hardass, lol. sees things like they’re black and white. has a funny side, hilariousssss but in a mean kind of way. doesn’t show much emotions but you know he cares. blunt. caring in his own way. took me to get my first tattoo. affectionate in a awkward pat back type of way. when he sees me sad, he helps best he can although that’s not always in the best of ways. helped me get through my grammy’s death. my dad. 

CAPRICORN

 ❌ah the fwb that turned into my boyfriend. we should’ve never happened. i care for you but a relationship was a bad idea. we started based off sex. was fucking a lot of girls when when with me (9 of them lmao yikes 😬) aloof, funny, dorky, another anime buddy. thinks he knows everything, thinks he’s a god (literally), an emotional baby when it comes down to it. made me his reason and told me he loved me. i regret telling you i loved you too. gas s god complex and wants things to come to him with minimal effort. 

❌ahh, you always had a thing for me. you and everyone else told me. held my umbrella for me while we walked in the rain. told me i was perfect, always promised that you’d marry me. pop in my life from time to time. down with anything. 

AQUARIUS

❌ ahhh the forbidden fruit. distant, friendly, charming, a liar. very sexual, always complimented me and once told me he loved me(yikes). really cute, made me feel special, has been trying to get me for yrs. not sure if it’s just sex or if it’s more but not giving myself the chance to be hurt and find out. sometimes i wonder what we could’ve been but the drama attached to your back makes me think otherwise. i still think of you from time to time. great kisser. 

PISCES 

❌my self proclaimed older brother. really knowledgeable, wise, sweet, loves his girlfriend with all his heart. encourages me to open up. supports me the best way i need, not always want lol. funny, a meme lord, hilarious in a subtle way. knows he’s that bitch. has almost all female friends but still retains his masculinity perfectly stronger than he lets on. an absolute blessing. helped me learn to love who i was and to be open to living others.

❌a wanna be gangster. lmao wants to fuck me but not happening. a big ball of unsorted through emotions. needs to get over his toxic masculinity but soft, caring. a big ass baby. unfaithful and childish. needs to learn his self worth within himself. daddy issues.

#astrology #zodiac #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #zodiac men #horosope #aries men #aries facts #taurus men #taurus facts #gemini men #gemini facts #cancer men #cancer facts #Leo men #Leo facts #virgo men #virgo facts #libra men #libra facts

[magaprima]

Part 3 Episode 7

Sabrina crying over Zelda’s body but Mambo Marie is here to save the day! Apparently Zelda is so near death she’s stuck in limbo until she comes back when she has had strength

A banshee has turned up yelling her death yell, meaning a member of the Spellman family is going to die soon apparently

Why is Lucifer always walking around naked. Would it kill you to put some pants on dude? And Lilith is tense as fuck while waiting in the chair

‘you’d kill me for the part I played in overthrowing you, yes, except a lot has changed since your little nap in the tub’ I like Lilith’s way of summing up things. 

She gave Blackwood the mark of Cain which means no one can hurt him, not even Satan (I feel this will backfire, making him invincible essentially, but...Lilith always puts self-preservation first)

‘and in exchange he gave me your seed’ you could have said that differently lilith. I don’t know how but...not like that.

‘the satanic miracle of miracles. I am with child’ 

Lucifer is not happy about this and immediately goes to, presumably, choke her to death, and she looks scared, as she often does with him and understandably so, but she reminds him she’s carrying HIS child. He argues he already has an heir (never heard of a spare, Lucifer?)

‘you wouldn’t kill your own SON’ she is playing so much to the fact she KNOWS he prizes boys above girls. And she’s right on the money because the moment she says son he gets all soft and hopeful. Bloody men. 

he says it’s just a stay of execution and he plans to kill her after but come on, witches carry children for 13 months, that’s over a year for Lilith to make plans. Wait, is Michelle going to be baby-bumped up for Part 4????

‘perhaps in the mean time you can sort out the mess your daughter’s made in hell’ because let’s be honest...she has. I mean good intentions literally pave the road to hell and Sabrina walks that path often

‘if only for our child’s sake’ yep keep pulling that string, Lilith, loving it. They’re so close now that in any other couple it would look intimate and close, but with Lucifer it just looks menacing, like get out of her face and stop pinning her against the wall

But Lucifer has to accept she’s won this hand and tells her to go summon the court. Lilith has yet again survived, as she says she always does. She is a survivor above all else and I just admire the fuck out of that and I like that despite any direction the season has taken, they have stayed true to that part of Lilith’s character. Mary however they’ve just sent to Christian Nut Job Town

The Pagans have Blackwood and he’s smug AF because he has the Mark of Cain. He wants to take down the Church of Night so he wants to partner up with the Pagans. Bloody Faustus. He wants his kids back I think, which fair does, but you planned to marry them together. You’re not a Targaryen

Theo and Robin having some cherry popping. Look away! Private moment!

And Lucifer is back and Lilith is at his side and if I was Lilith I would be sticking my finger up at the aristocracy because who has been in a place of power constantly no matter who rules hell? Why Lilith of course. Suck it, fellas! And one of the Kings challenges him and he snaps his neck, but this doesn’t stop Caliban still coming forward. 

Lilith is perfection with her Caliban specific eyeroll with the added comment of ‘oh this should be good’. She looks so irritated in the background. But she’s safe now because of her pregnancy so she’s standing strong again which I like to see. I mean I ABHOR she’s back with her abuser, but I like that she’s managed to avoid being killed by him and I presume this isn’t the way the balance will stay for long. 

‘She’ll turn  up. She usually does’ Lilith again summing up Sabrina nicely

Ooh we’re seeing Zelda’s limbo dreams- And Hilda is in limbo too. AND EDWARD IS THERE TO MEET THEM

Also witch limbo much nicer than mortal limbo

Sabrina has brought cheerleaders to the academy to chant.  HEY MICKY??? WE’RE SINGING HEY MICKEY???? BRING IT ON FLASHBACKS. And I do adore that film so am I singing along? Yes. Yes I am. But it seems to be working with the cheerleaders. 

Oh fuck Blackwood turned up

This is such a Practical Magic vibe with non-witches joining alongside the coven, and the cheerleaders at back at high school and sabrina has taken the coven to hell. Like you do. At least she didn’t mix it up

Agatha has turned magic psycho, Dorcas is dead, and Blackwood is using all this to his advantage

OMG LUCIFER AND LILITH WALKING IN TOGETHER IS QUITE THE IMAGE I WON’T LIE. They look like Sabrina’s disappointed parents. Actually they have the energy of the King and Queen from the Cinderella with Bernadette Peters. So Lilith is Whoopi Goldbery in this scenario

Sabrina immediately jumps to conclusions ‘the dream team back together again’

‘don’t mistake survival and co-dependency for love. We are very much NOT together’ Lilith could not put more emphasis on that ‘not’ if she tried

OMFG LILITH SAID TO SABRINA ‘take your place as Queen of Hell. Keeping throne warm for your’ dramatic touch to belly ‘little brother’. Lucifer looks really happy about this.

You know if Lilith keeps Sabrina on side and helps her with stuff, Sabrina as Queen, and then being able to share the throne with a brother so she can do mortal stuff might be the key to Lilith keeping herself alive and away from the Dark Lord’s wrath. His abuse is another matter

Edward knew that Lucifer was Sabrina’s Father and apparently Edward is like Zelda’s spirit guide. 

FLASHBACKS TO YOUNG ZELDA AND YOUNG FAUSTUS AT THE ACADEMY. 

The Dark Lord is making foolish decisions and Lilith is speaking to him like she speaks to Sabrina when she’s about to make a hasty bad decision. OMG she’s got to deal with two of them. Let’s pray Lilith’s child takes after Lilith. Also I’d love for it to turn out to be a girl, just because women are ruling this throne. And a girl would play on the whole ‘spellman twins’ thing

When Lucifer telepathically tells Sabrina to go to the place where Judas, Cassius and Brutus are, all I can see in my head is Michelle Fairley as Cassius because I went to see her playing that role twice

Mary coming back to class stressed as fuck, because obviously she killed someone and she’s learned about witches and shit. But I feel her shooting Zelda was while the devil was in her ear the way it was with the witches earlier in the season. 

The pagans need a virgin and poor Harvey still is so he’s being hunted down in a library. Bad day. Ah Robin saved them.

And now we’re seeing the flash back when baby Sabrina suddenly appeared in the Spellman home after Edward and Diana died

Sabrina doing a nice bit of graverobbing but she’s getting all thrally with the vampire. But apparently she doesn’t taste good, her blood burns him? Because she’s celestial. And Sabrina adds also there was no consent so she smashes him in the face

I suspected Dorcas would be killed off since she was the lead in the other netflix show, but the tragedy of Agatha doing and Prudence having to kill Agatha fucking hurts man. She’s lost her fucking SISTERS

AND NOW BLACKWOOD HAS STABBED PRUDENCE IN THE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! PRUDENCE IS DYING IN AMBROSE’S ARMS NOOOOOOOOOOO

But then we’re getting a glimpse of the future where zelda is very very very old and dying and sabrina calls her her Mother and zelda is realising maiden mother crone is so important to defeating the pagans and saving the coven

Zelda has woke up to shit fest and Blackwood stood over her with a bloody knife

HE STABBED ZELDA IN THE HEART. PEOPLE STOP KILLING ZELDA. 

Caliban trapping Sabrina and planning to kill her, and Sabrina says ‘My Father and Lilith’ erm did you just use Lilith in the same sentence as your Dad as if she’s your stepmother? Like......I love that

Virgin Harvey is being sacrificed in the green man thing much like the Wicker Man. The vines are taking him and absorbing him like we saw happening to Mary in the trailer? But it hasn’t happened to Mary....yet

#caos spoilers

[gentlemanmendes]

Beauty and the Beast 2:

Part 1:

part 2:

Walking through the village seemed like walking through a foreign place. The villages no longer treated her the same, they wanted to do everything for her, always greeted her with a curtsy, and eyes followed her everywhere. It didn’t help having the royal guards follow her every where she went, Prince Shawn had wanted her protected at all times when he wasn’t around to protect her.

This had been happening in the last four months of their engagement and with only one month until the wedding and with every day that brought the wedding closer she felt herself regretting her decision more and more. She was no longer entitled to privacy and had her every move watched, it felt more like a hazard than a privilege to be future crowned queen and the prince was no help to that. Shawn was definitely not the person she had once known and the more she got to know the new Shawn the more she wondered whether the old Shawn was just a figure of her imagination. He was a power hungry spoilt brat who got everything he wanted when he wanted, not to mention the fact that he didn’t care about anyone but himself. He hadn’t even bothered putting any effort into his relationship with y/n, the only times she had seen him was at dinners she ate at the palace with the king and queen.

Although y/n spent practically all her time at the palace with the wedding planning and learning the names of the other royals and important figures in the land to how to dance for a ball and conduct herself in front of the public she still chose to go home to her mother. The queen had suggest that they both move into the palace and would have their own quarters until the wedding but y/n had declined the offer. Her home was the only place she felt normal even though she now had the palace guards secured all around her mother’s home.

Having had enough with all the attention in the public eye y/n jolted to a stop causing her ‘baby sitter’ to almost run into her. Demetrius, her personal guard,  apologized for his mistake, even though it was y/n who had cause it, with a bow.

“I have changed my mind, I would like fresh air elsewhere.” Y/n stated. “Take me to the stables.” She hated acting like a snob but the royal advisor had instructed her that she must act superior so then people believed her to be superior. She was already facing an obstacle by not having been born into the crown, she now had to demanded respect.

“But you are to meet with the prince for an afternoon walk around the palace grounds.” Demetrius informed y/n causing her to mentally roll her eyes, she hated those walks they were silently and agonizingly painful. Shawn didn’t care for her nor did she care for him, they only took this time because the queen instructed them too.  

“Then give him word I have changed my plans and he can meet me at the stables.” She huffed as she got into her carriage. Demetrius informed the footman of y/n’s change of plans before getting into the carriage with y/n.

Once he had gotten y/n to the palace stables safely he left to inform Shawn of y/n’s where about.

As y/n rode she was beginning to lose control, she would give the horse a light kick here and there telling it to go faster, for the first time in a long time she felt in control of something yet again. From the moment she had agreed to marry Shawn she had been told not only what to do but who to be and she had grown tired of it. She now understood why as a kid Shaw had hated the throne. At the time she had thought of him as foolish, he had everything at his face and he didn’t want it, but now she understood why. It was a nightmare. A prisoner would have more freedom than she did.

Being so distracted in her own thoughts y/n hadn’t realized just how fast or how uneasy the horse she was riding was and before she knew it she was on the ground and her horse was galloping off into the woods that surrounded the castle.

“Are you alright?” A voice called from behind y/n causing her to let out a huff. She couldn’t even fall off a horse in peace, of course she had to have someone watching her.

She pushed herself off the ground before her spectator could come to her rescue.

“I’m fine!” She huffed attempting to dust off the dirt and grass stains off the sleeves of her pink and white gown refusing to look up to see who was seated on the horse that had just approached her.

“Are you sure, that looked like a nasty fall.”  The stranger pressed causing y/n’s temper to rise.

“I said I’m fine!” but when she looked up to see who the stranger was she regretted raising her voice. “David.” She breathed out in surprise now looking away sheepishly, embarrassed by her actions. David had been one of y/n’s closest friends growing up. His father had been the stable boy and now it seemed he was following in his footsteps. Y/n had good memories with David, he had filled the void that Shawn’s silent absence had left. David was only a few years older than y/n and although neither had actually mentioned it both had developed feelings for one another and had someday hoped to marry. But someday was no longer an option.

“ I feel as though I have failed as a teacher.” David chuckled as he got off of his horse. He had been the one to teach y/n  how to ride a horse in the first place, although she had never been very good at it to begin with.  "Why don’t you take Matilda, and I shall walk with you.“ He suggested gesturing to his horse. Without agreeing y/n got onto Matilda  allowing David to take the reins and lead her back towards the stable where Shawn would eventually be waiting.

At first it was silent and awkward but nothing new to y/n considering that was how most moments spent with her prince and soon to be husband were. But David broke the silence remind y/n of the time that they went exploring in the woods less than three years ago, at the time she was convinced she wanted to run away and live a life as a bandit in the woods, scavenging for food and stealing for the rich also known as her now future in-laws. It seemed odd that less than a few years ago she was more than prepared to live a life like that but now she was living a life that was the exact opposite.

Being with David made her feel good, he didn’t treat her defiantly the way everyone else did. He treated her the same way he always had. It made her feel warm and at home. It also reminded her of why she had liked David so much but she hadn’t seen him since the proposal. She couldn’t help but wonder what David had thought once he had heard the news, was he upset, did he think less of y/n? She was curious but her pride had gotten the best of her, she refused to care what he thought. She would soon be royalty and no one’s opinion of her would matter.

When they arrived at the stable y/n was surprised not only to be met with Shawn but a furious Shawn at that. His mood only seemed to worsen at the sight of David but when David bowed he seemed to ease a bit as though he was being reminded that he was superior to the man that had rescued his damsel in distress.

"I received note that you had fallen off your horse, I trust the animal will be put down as soon as it is found and all troubles will be undone.” Shawn informed y/n causing her eyes to widen in horror.

“No!” She and David cried out in response causing Shawn’s scowl to surface once again.

“I beg your pardon?” He spat in disgust, “Remember who you are speaking with, both of you.”

“Pardon me you highness but the animal in innocent.” David said with his head bowed refusing to meet his princes gaze.

“Don’t you have a stable to attend to, I could very easily find someone to replace you.” He spat causing David to scurry off in embarrassment sending one last longing look at Y/n as he left.

“That horse did nothing wrong, it was my fault and I’m not even hurt.” Y/n justified ignoring Shawn’s previous statement. She wasn’t going to let an innocent animal die because of her stupidity.

When Shawn didn’t respond y/n turned her back on him and stormed off in disgust. She was going to marry this cruel monster in a month. He was going to be the father of her children. The thought appalled her. Her children deserved a loving father who cared for them the way hers once had before her had passed. Her father had been the most admirable man in her life, that was what she wanted for her children but they wouldn’t have that.

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t like me.” Shawn called out after her once they were far enough from the stable to be classified as alone. With that y/n stopped in her tracks and turned to face him.

“Because I don’t. I despise you with every ounce of my body!” She seethed furiously taking Shawn by surprise. Y/n had always been well behaved and shown Shawn nothing but respect when they were together. This side of her was something new to him.  "You are cruel, arrogant, and self absorbed. You will never be fit to be king.“ y/n felt relief speaking what she had been dying to say to him since the day after her proposed.  

"Really? That is what you think of me?��� Shawn didn’t seem offended at all by y/n’s accusations.“Then answer one question why are you marrying me?” He smirked causing y/n’s glare only to deepen.

“Shouldn’t that question be mine to ask.” Y/n shot back causing Shawn to stare at her curiously as if to tell her to continue because he was interested in what she had to say. “You could have any girl in the kingdom, or any other kingdom for that matter. Princess are lined up for you and you went against your parents blessing and chose me. ” Y/n elaborated. “Why?”

“Because. You don’t want the riches, or the power, nor the status. I know you have never cared about any of that nonsense which brings us back to my question, why are you marrying me?” Shawn was still smiling. He was okay with the fact that y/n didn’t love him, nor was she marrying him for any reason. This was bringing him satisfaction and it was making her feel worse.

“If I answer your question will you answer one of mine?” She negotiated.

Shawn gave an easy nod while mumbling 'anything for you my bride’ giving a small bow that somehow brought more comfort to y/n. Like Shawn had mentioned, y/n didn’t care for power but seeing him bow even if it was of mockery brought her satisfaction.

“Foolishness.” She shrugged easily causing Shawn’s brows to crease together.

“Elaborate.” He instructed causing her to roll her eyes but proceed.

“I was foolish to believe that the boy I knew was still inside you, why else would you propose to me.”

“And why was that foolish?” Shawn wondered although his frown told y/n that he was not at all impressed with her answer.

“Because I was wrong, that kind boy has been taken over by a beast.” Y/n was walking on broken glass with her behavior but at this moment she didn’t seem to care. Hell to it if she lost it all, so what if the kingdom would frown upon her and the royals would make her life hard, she didn’t care anymore, she was miserable now. Whatever they did to her at least she would finally be free again.

Y/n could tell that this had infuriated Shawn but he didn’t act upon it.  Instead he spat out “What is your question.” As if he wanted this conversation to finally be over.

“Why did you stop meeting me?” Although y/n hadn’t elaborated Shawn knew exactly what she was implying which was only making his mood worse. The Prince was known for having a temper that even put his father’s temper to shame.

“As you noted my future queen.” Shawn smirked effortlessly causing y/n’s confidence to falter. “A beast came over me.” And with that Shawn turned on the balls of his feet and walked away proud of himself for not having given in to y/n.

“Burn in hell you monster!” y/ screamed after him causing Shawn to jolt to an abrupt stop, turning yet again he stalked towards y/n with a dangerous grin on his lips as he reached for her causing her to flinch away by instinct although he didn’t lay a hand on her the way  she had expected. Instead Shawn took her hand and snatched the ring off her finger surprising her. She had expected him to storm off as he previously had but he didn’t. He remained in the same position towering over her while he turned the ring over between his thumb and index finger in a teasing matter.

“No.” He gave a dry chuckle as the word escaped his lips. “I can put you through more misery if we are married.” Shawn snickered in realization as he shoved the ring back onto y/n’s finger, all the confidence she had previously felt now long gone. “And don’t even try to run or do anything that might jeopardize this marriage because if you do I will have your mothers heart.” He watched as the horror took over y/n’s face at his threat before he happily walked away leaving y/n dumbfounded and proud of himself.

#Shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes mini series #shawn mendes fanfic

[lokbobpop]

Father

Father' comes from the Proto-Indo-European “pəter” and Old English 'fæder,' meaning “he who begets a child,” reflecting the baby-talk sound “pa” as well as a phonetic shift from 'p' to 'f' in Middle English

Father fat her fa ther fa the r f ather

Writing father

When i saw i had this word yesterday for today i was liek not really wanting to look at it as i dont have anything much nice i actually liked about my father he was a drunk he was verbally abusive he was self absorbed yes i recon some narcissistic actions within him i think we all have on some leve;l though, but at the end of the day wheni was young i loved my dad but it all went wrong he went wrong he lost his way and we all felt how he lost his way he was fearful for sure he had lost all and gave up he didnt see what else to do and if he did he wouldnt do it so that was it im not sure how old he was at the time when he lost it all but he’d been a drunk fro many years a before that id say in my early teens shit started to go down and it just started to ge worse and worse all the time he was a angry man.

Reading father

When i have seen fathers of other people who have lovely dads i have felt jealous i didnt have a dad like that why not why couldn’t i have a normal dad that would support you why did i have a dad that was self absorbed it didnt seem fare not all dads were the same i wanted one like theres but of cause there were dads i didnt want any dad that was a drinker i didnt want for sure.

Chris is a father to my girls although i have thought a few time he could have done more but so definitely could of i i could have dotn so much more myself so saying h=this i about him i know isnt write at all

Father as in the vicar when call him father weird or what as he ain’t your father and the furthest thing from it mind you some vicors/father might of been better than mine maybe as some fathers arent that great themselves.

When i was young id go fishing with my dad i liked hanging out with my dad and my dad liked me he even told me i was his favorite which made me sick that i wasnt my mums anf my brother was but when i was young i did like to hang out before the drinking become uncontrollable but then i was going to the pub with him where sometimes he’d get angry at me in the pub out me down once in a pub he told me he had an affair and he though a friend of mine had told me because she had seen him with another women but no they happened i felt sick how could he do such a thing when i got home i walked straight in the house past mum and went to bed i didn’t know what to do 20 years later when i did tell my mum she said it wasnt true even though i think she got up to things hey.

Saying father

Disappointment comes up that i did have a good dad

Vicor/father again

Just imagine what it would of been like with a normal father who loved hos family didnt hate his family didnt want to fight every night didnt want to put you down every night but loved you just imagine what my life would of been like would i have been much happer? I ask myself yes i would of i would of been so much happier than i was as a child

Sf

Does this definition support me no a dislike for my father to the point i hope he is here watching me right now and feeling bad for what he had done to me and my family that i hope he sees what a complete twat he was how he was so self indulgent he was but i know he did see this when he died and nothing in this will see him as wrong as it’s all about me how i handles those moments of anger from him how i moved myself within me now and then so i take responsibility for me now no more blame no more sadness its over he’s gone he’s had to deal with what he did i have ot deal with what i did and thats that.

Father faith her

Father

To be both guardians to my children to be male and female support to my children to learn from my past to create a better further for my own children to use what i know about parenting to see what is needed who to be to be both father and mother to my best ability.

I will live this word to support me in being a better mother to learn from my past so the same doesnt happen again to undo the mistakes i have done and create a new :)

[isntthisenoughwhatwouldbeenough]

Costume Shopping and Protective Boyfriends (Poly!Hamilsquad x Reader)

A/N: Happy Halloween Lovely Wonderfuls!!! I hope you all had a wonderful day full of candy, pumpkins, and scary movies! I’m sorry this is coming so late, and it’s a little rough, but I hope you enjoy! To my lovely anon that requested this, I hope it’s close to what you wanted? If you want a rewrite please let me know! As always I wish the happiest of days and the best of luck with anything you need! (P.S. Sorry for any mistakes!!) 

You sat in the cafeteria trying to figure out your calculus homework, your four boyfriends around you.

“What are we going to be for Halloween, guys,” John asks, nudging your foot under the table.

You look up from your work, smirking at him and nudging him back. He winks back at you, tossing a french fry in his mouth.

“Do you have any suggestions, mon ange,” Laf pulls you into him, nuzzling your hair.

“I have no idea,” you giggle as he tickles your ear.

“What about the Avengers,” Alex suggests. “You would look pretty sexyas Black Widow,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You shake your head and chuckle, kissing Laf as he releases you from his hold.

“That would be cool,” Hercules nods, rubbing circles on your back as you try to concentrate. “I could be the Hulk.”

“I call Iron Man, he’s the smartest,” Alex smirks.

“He’s also the most self absorbed,” John nuzzles his neck, laughing.

The rest of you let out chuckles, as Alex glares at you.

“If we’re going that route, I want to be Thor,” John says, flexing.

You giggle at him nudging him under the table again. He winks at you again, a smirk on his lips.

“Its fitting, I think you would be worthy enough to wield his hammer,” you smile.

“That means that Laf would be…”

“Captain America, oui,” he smiles, nodding. “J’aimeça.”

“Have we decided?” Alex looks around at everyone.  

Everyone nods in agreement and you shrug your shoulders not minding the idea.

“We should probably go shopping some time this week, before everything’s picked over,” you think aloud, leaning against Herc.

“Tomorrow after we get out?”

You all nod in agreement and sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, before John speaks.

“Do you think they’ll give out good candy this year?”

Hercules shrugs his shoulders.

“Depends on the neighborhood.” “I can’t believe we still go trick or treating,” you chuckle. “Its free candy, baby girl!” You laugh and brush a stray hair out of his eyes. “Free stuff is pretty awesome.” Alex reaches across the table, holding your hand in his and playing with your fingers as he thought. “I guess we’re costume hunting this weekend.”

The weekend comes quickly and you set out to find your costumes. This task would usually be pretty simple, but you had learned long ago that your boys were detail oriented.

John sticks by your side, while your other boyfriends search the rest of the store. John wraps his arms around your waist, pulling your back to his front. You smile and lean into him.

“Aren’t you going to search for your costume?”

You hum as he places a kiss on your neck.

“I’d rather help you look for yours,” he smirks when you turn to look at him.

“Have a thing for Black Widow, huh?”

You raise an eyebrow with a smirk of your own.

“Not really, but you as Black Widow,” he kisses your nose. “I’m definitely have a thing for that.”

You giggle moving out of his hold and taking his hand. You look through costume after costume, having no luck.

“Looks like I’ll have to make mine,” you frown, before shrugging and turning to John.

“Let’s see if we can find yours.”

You were lucky enough to find stuff for the boys, but you were still on the hunt. You went to another store to find three different versions of her costume.

“I’ll have to try on all three.” You turn to the boys. “You guys tell me which one looks best, okay?”

They all nod, with big smiles and you chuckle as you enter the changing room. The first one you try on is a little big, and looks more blue than black. The reaction is a little underwhelming and you go back to try on the second one. This one is skin tight and there’s a little more cleavage than you would prefer to show, but you go out anyway.

Their reaction to option number two is a little more zealous.

“I don’t know about this one guys,” you trail off, wiping off non-existent dust.

You turn around to show them the back. You look at them over your shoulder, looking unsure and trying not to laugh. They had stood up as soon as they saw you. Their eyes were glued to your body and their mouths were opening and closing, not knowing what to say.

“Yo-You’re not s-sure, love?” Alex asks, clearing his throat.

“Yeah,” you frown looking down at yourself. “You don’t think it’s too tight?”

You turn rubbing your hand over your backside, and you keep in your laughter as you hear them groan.

“I think it’s a perfect fit, cupcake.”

“You don’t think this is too much cleavage,” you face them, pointing to your chest.

“Mon Dieu, ellea l’air incroyable.”

You giggle and they all give you the same dark look.

“Down boys,” you gesture for them to sit. “I’m not taking this one.” You look down at yourself shaking your head. “Not only would it be hard to handle you four,” you wave a hand across them,“but can you imagine other guys looking at me in this.”

They immediately start to look around for anyone staring at you.

“We wouldn’t get anything done all night.” You move back to the dressing room.

“Plus, this one is a little uncomfortable.”

You try on the last one and you’re relieved to see it fits perfectly. It’s fitted but not tight and your chest didn’t look like it would pop out.

“I think this is it boys.”

You walk out and the boys stand, clapping their hands.

“Beautiful sweetheart.”

“Gorgeous, love.”

“Very sexy, baby girl.”

“Perfect, mon ange.”

You smile at them, blowing kisses before returning to your regular clothes and purchasing your costume.

Halloween night comes and the five of you are dressed up, trick or treat bags in hand. You walk from house to house, meeting mini versions of yourselves and taking pictures with them. A tiny Spiderman said that you were prettier in person,  and you couldn’t stop the smile, or the blush on your cheeks.

The five of you continued walking through the neighborhood. You, Alex and Hercules were in front, Laf and John walking behind. You look over at Alex, when you hear him groan.

“What is it?”

“Jefferson,” he nearly growls.

You feel Alex’s arm tighten around your waist, as he approaches.

“Hello, (Y/N),” he gives you a smile. “Aren’t you the prettiest Black Widow I’ve ever seen.”

You feel Alex and Hercules tense, and you can practically feel Laf and Johns protective energy. You internally roll your eyes. Good thing I didn’t get the other costume.

“Thanks,” you say with a tight smile. “You’re not dressed up, you don’t like Halloween?”

“Its not that I don’t like it,” he shrugs his shoulders, “I just don’t see the point in being something else when I’m the best there is to be.”

He smirks at you, giving you a wink. Alex scoffs before pulling you closer and nuzzling your neck, your three other boyfriends surrounding you. You don’t protest or make any fuss, you knew Jefferson liked you and how much he loved to mess with Alexander. But, his ego was too big for his own good and sometimes he needed to be knocked down a peg.

“That’s a little boring, don’t you think?”

You tilt your head and giggle as Alex tickles you behind your ear. Jefferson is visibly annoyed at the scene in front of him.

“I mean it’s all for fun,” you shrug your shoulders. “That’s why I love my boys so much, they’re fun and they make me laugh, there’s never a dull moment.”

You turn and kiss Alex, letting him make a little show of it, but stopping before he went to far.

“If you’ll excuse us, Thomas, we have more trick or treating to do.”

You grab Hercs and Alex’s hands in yours and lead your boyfriends away.

“Did you see his face?” Alex laughs, excitedly. “That was amazing babe,” he kisses your cheek.

“Mhm, I’m just glad the pissing contest is over,” you mumble.

“What?” Alex asks, confused.

You give him a ‘really?’ look, tilting your head.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about and I play along because he needs to know I’m taken and that’s not changing for anyone, especially not him.”

The four of them smirk and give each other a little nudge.

“She loves us.”

“Oh yeah, totally smitten.”

“Over the moon in love.”

“We’re her un seul et unique amour.”

You chuckle, shake your head and let out a sigh.

“I just hope you know, it’s not something you need to do or worry about.”

“We’re sorry, love,” Alex comes to your side giving you a kiss on the cheek. John follows kissing your other cheek, and before you know it, you’re in a huddle of kisses. You giggle.

“Okay, okay,” you stop them, still giggling, “we have more houses to hit, before heading home, so let’s get going.”

“Actually,” Herc picks you up, bridal style, as you squeal in surprise. “I think we should just head back to my house.”

He turns to your other boyfriends to see if they were ready.

“Yeah, I think I’m good,” Alex smiles.

“I’m ready.”

“Oui.”

Your laughter rings out through the street as Herc runs to the car with you in his arms, your other loves close behind. You loved Halloween.

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