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zephyrchama · 23 days

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Living together in a big house with one (main) (shared) bathroom means that mornings can be tough.

When you first arrived at the House of Lamentation, it was hard to fit in. It was really hard to get into the bathroom in the mornings and fight six demons for use of the sink. If more than two others were in there at the same time, they practically formed a living wall that blocked you out, forcing you to wake up extremely early or risk being late for school.

That got better over time though. You gradually managed to fit into the house's morning routine.

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Lucifer has his morning routine down to an exact science. Usually he's fully dressed and has his hair brushed before leaving the bedroom. He might be running on pure muscle memory though - one time you handed him a warm washcloth for his face and he just stared at it in confusion for several seconds with a furrowed brow. He has no problems getting it himself, but this break in routine gave him pause. It took Lucifer a moment to realize what it was and to thank you.

If you get the chance to eat breakfast together, Lucifer likes to ask about your day. "What do you have planned? Remember, we have that meeting at five. Did you prepare for the ancient hex exam?" He might slide a bit of his food onto your plate before he goes, a way of returning the pleasant energy boost you always provide for him.

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Mammon can hustle. Which means that Mammon can get up early if it benefits him in some way. A part time job, an early bird discount, a chance to slip past Lucifer's defenses and borrow some cash.

That doesn't mean it's easy. Waking up takes some serious effort. Mammon will stumble into the bathroom to do his business first thing in the morning, yawning with his eyes half closed and tugging up whatever pants he just tossed on for modesty.

The tsundere part of his brain takes a few minutes to kick in if he's just woken up. If he spots you, Mammon will demand a good morning hug and wrap his arms around you, deaf to your cries of "Mammon! Go wash your hands before you touch me!"

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Leviathan is always groaning in the morning. He's probably not aware of it. He's probably muttering complaints but is too tired to actually speak the words properly. His blankets are always a tangled mess, wrapped unevenly around his feet and contorted around his body, but Leviathan can easily Houdini his way out of them when it's time to get up. If there's no event or livestream to wake up early for, he'll sleep in for as long as he can before starting the day with a nice shower.

He finds warm running water to feel so pleasant and you can often find Leviathan spacing out next to the faucet. He'll greet you with a sleepy "ah, morning," and accidentally splash you in an attempt to wave his hand. The embarrassment and slight panic from getting you a towel to dry off with is usually enough to properly wake him up, and he sheepishly exits the bathroom and guards the door until you've finished changing into dry clothes.

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Satan can hardly even put his shirt on properly when fully awake.

The man's a sleepy mess when he tries to get dressed in the morning. He'll stay up all night to finish a book he's invested in, then stumble out of his room "ready to go" when it's time for breakfast. His pants are unzipped and the button is coming undone. He's only got one sleeve on and it's on the wrong arm, or the buttons on his shirt are all misaligned and half have been skipped over.

He doesn't protest anymore when you tidy him up. Some mornings he'll doze off while you straighten his tie and fall forward into you, then try to play it off as a hug. Satan doesn't want to let go though, you feel so much warmer on a chilly morning.

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Asmodeus is a rare morning riser. Too much sleep is bad for the skin, he claims. If he has trouble getting up, he'll either go soak in his private tub for energy or seek you out.

"You have to hear what happened last night," he'll say, strolling into your room while there's still ten minutes left on your alarm. He sits on the edge of your bed, and if you try falling back asleep he pulls you up into a sitting position. "Listen to this, you won't believe it!"

Asmodeus isn't afraid to get touchy if it means you'll wake up faster and he gets your attention. He'll sit you in his lap, or press you against his side, or run his hands down your face and squish your cheeks with a mischievous smile.

When the main bathroom is too crowded to use you're free to borrow his, with the caveat he gets to style you for the day and you might be late when he gets overzealous.

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Beelzebub can also be found awake in the mornings. The quiet hours before everyone else wakes up are best for stretching, taking jogs, and grabbing a pre-breakfast appetizer. He'll get spooked if he hears footsteps approach the kitchen and slam the fridge door shut in a hurry, but all is well when he sees you enter the room instead of Lucifer.

Beelzebub is a big guy who takes up a lot of space. When you run into each other in the bathroom and are rushing to get ready, it's easy to bump into him. On days he's still pretty tired, he might not even notice you bonk your head against his arm. That's fine though - you don't want him to notice you until he's brushed his teeth. After all, Beelzebub's morning breath is a potent magical weapon.

If you need the bathroom sink while he occupies it, Beelzebub is kind enough to nudge you in front of him (once you've confirmed his mouth is minty fresh). You both get to use the mirror this way, and you can both see each other's smiling faces.

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Belphegor is the king of oversleeping. The powers of you and his twin combined are hardly enough on some days, but mostly the responsibility of waking him falls to you. You quickly learned it's best to wake him from behind his head, if you can manage to maneuver your way into a suitable spot to do so. Anywhere his limbs can easily grab you will result in being pulled into bed. He's like a sleeping kraken.

You suspect that Belphegor wakes up easier than he lets on, but he feigns ignorance. He insists he was totally fast asleep when you struggled to physically drag him down the hallway towards the bathroom, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso with all your strength. And when he clung on to your waist and nuzzled his head into your stomach. And when Beel came to help free you from Belphegor's clutches, but he rolled you under him and muttered "mine now."

Definitely fast asleep, doesn't remember a single thing.

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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No time to play. You are being sent away.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power.#Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes.#But sit with me for a moment. Consider it:#“BEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. ”Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!“ Yu Ziyuan yelled.#I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me.#I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon.#I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette.#'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!'#I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man!#I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends.#My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away.#As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!'#I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!'#Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes #and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her???#Chapter 2 is so much worse #Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!!#This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God.#It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here?#I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.

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leonardcohenofficial · 24 days

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legitimately cannot express enough the absolute ease and peacefulness that comes with going to concerts by yourself open your minds and hearts to going to things alone

#i parked made it through security bought merch went to the bathroom got a snack and drink and found my seat within an HOUR of arriving to #the springsteen concert AND didn’t have to deal with going with anybody else LMFAO

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nerdpoe · 8 months

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Danny just wanted to have fun with his friends, not wake up to vicious pounding on his hotel door, sprawled on the floor, with an unconscious and bloodied Wayne boy in the bathtub.

What Danny doesn't remember is that said Wayne boy asked him for assistance after getting drugged at a gala, and Drunk Danny agreed.

So now there's paparazzi photos of said Wayne boy staggering away from the gala, clearly under the influence of something, while leaning on Danny, who is taking his new bestie to his hotel room to sleep it off.

What Danny doesn't remember is that said Wayne boy tried to go to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face, lost his balance, and slammed his face into the sink before staggering backwards and tripping into the bathtub.

All that Danny knows within five minutes of waking up is that Bruce Wayne, infamous ditz and playboy extraordinaire, looks fucking terrifying when he thinks one of his sons has been attacked.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #the wayne kid is fine he just knocked himself out for a hot second #woke up in the bathtub #and decided fuck it i'm sleeping #and just went to sleep like that #danny tripped on the way to the bathroom after hearing the loud noise #and then just fell asleep on the floor

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demigods-posts · 3 months

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i have this headcanon that percy and annabeth occasionally ask clarisse to babysit their kids. and clarisse acts like she's annoyed. but she so clearly adores them so much. and the kids absolutely love her.

#their kids called clarisse 'la rue' once and she went to the bathroom and cried #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo headcanon #pjo #pjo text post #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #clarrise la rue

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julykings · 8 months

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summer’s end

#had a really nice weekend to round it out u kno #saw Sarah on Friday for pasta and watching reality tv #picked wildflowers on Saturday and went to the dog park and some yard sales with my sister and we had such a good time we’ve been kind of #distant lately so that was really great. and time and my bf went to a mug decorating workshop and then tried a new restaraynt and got giant #margaritas . and watched survivor #Sunday gym kicked ass + moved furniture around and helped my bf paint his bedroom #today went to work first thing then to the lake for swimming and napping in the sun then more work and more gym which also kicked ass #then groceries and making out with my bf now home laundry etc getting ready to go to bed so I can wake up early and take Winston to do some #thing before work and my first classssssss yayyyy #can u tell im tired I made so many typos and fully just used the wrong words… we painted his bathroom .#personal

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luminous-studiess · 1 year

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in life updates: decided to enroll in a notoriously difficult class this semester. civil law is my achilles heel, and i also wanted to force myself into better study habits and time management. last week, i took the midterm and braced myself for a fail: despite improvements in the way i prepared for class and spoke during cold calls, i'd still been struggling over the semester. after the exam ended, i went and checked the schedule for dropping classes. one week later. dear reader, i passed.

#sam screams #seriously what the fuck guys after finding out my grade i went to the bathroom to cry #the same bathroom i cried in when i found out i failed my nth exam in first year #anyway people are like flowers they bloom in their own time #studyblr #study aesthetic #study motivation #studyspo #lawblr #uni #coffee #college student #studygram #books #dark academia #chaotic academia #law school

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thankstothe · 28 days

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#house md #gregory house #james wilson #screencap #s07e01 “Now What?”#one of the thing that bothered me about canon huddy #is it feels too close to the unrealness of s5 finale #just huddy becoming canon does not feel like it would be enough to offset all the issues house had building up in s6 finale #hes not even a bit bitter about wilson throwing him out anymore and it certainly wasn't just a cover for huddy #left unresolved #last patient's death unresolved (you can say it delayed if youre a pedant)#the overall stress from that wrecked building - unresolved #all this skipped overnight #even more of a rocky start to this relationship would be better #cuddy too #this is so ooc for both of them #like their characters got reset #i do wonder how proper huddy would look like in canon #like it wouldnt work long term either #but in s7 it just went too smooth #what does cuddy even gets out of it besides the initial thrill?#she is a freak and workaholic in a completely different way to house #literal mother #and an authoruty figure #they would clash so bad so fast it would be glorious #maybe it would be better if she didnt make it and house was already back on vicodin in the bathroom #also would give deniability to ooc moments #dont mind me *watching perfect house md in my brain*

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shikai-the-storyteller · 3 months

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I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.

("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")

Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.

Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.

-

Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).

Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.

Now here's where things get interesting:

Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."

Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."

And the funniest thing about this is it worked.

Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.

I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.

Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.

I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.

Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.

Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.

Vegetta made sure of it.

#i talk #QSMP talk #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #I FOUND IT #I wrote this post TWO MONTHS AGO #MAYBE LONGER!!!#I had clips and links prepared but I have no idea where those went #I'm not gonna bother saving this as a draft and risk losing it again #I have nearly 70000 drafts on my main blog but by some miracle this got saved in my art blogs' drafts instead #than the stars #Anyways. Leo was killed by a whale a few days later because Foolish was in the bathroom lmao #''powerful god-adjacent man who bends the laws of the universe'' vs. ''man whose entire life is a series of sitcom episodes''#I still really want to write out that ''QSMP genre'' thought I had ages ago. It's still relevant and always will be relevant #but anyways #I wrote this months ago on very little sleep but DANG. It's a banger.#I miss writing analysis stuff I wish I was in a headspace where I could do this more like I used to #QSMP analysis

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soadscrawl · 26 days

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Draft art model AU anyway, and see if it draws any wild plots out from hiding. I hear they're usually attracted to the scent of drafts and random frameworks, this time of year.

i have been kicking it around in my mind a bit... some silly bs i thought of for it

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bri-cheeses · 2 months

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Okay. Um. Hear me out. Just hear me out on this, okay?

So.

Evan needing glasses to see and stuff. Except he doesn’t like glasses, so he just wears contacts all the time. And no one has ever seen him in his glasses, because he quite simply never wears them.

But there’s a day in fifth year when Evan’s just completely worn out (because fifth year’s workload is, in one word, brutal), so he decides to go to bed early. Barty and Regulus aren’t in the dorm because of how early it is, which means that they’re doing other things. And Evan gets ready for bed, and takes his contacts out and everything, and then realizes that he has a test tomorrow that he hasn’t studied for.

And so he reluctantly gets back up to grab his books and notes, but he doesn’t feel like taking the time to put contacts in, especially since he’s not even going anywhere. So he puts on his glasses instead. And Evan’s just sitting on his bed, shirt off and plaid pajama pants on, wearing his glasses and not realizing how good he looks.

And then Barty walks in, not expecting Evan to be awake (because Evan had told him and Reg that he was going to bed earlier than usual) and certainly not expecting Evan to be looking like that. And there’s this awkward moment when Evan looks up to see who’s entered, and Barty’s just standing there with his mouth slightly open and he is positively ogling Evan. And Evan is confused, because why does Barty look like he’s just forgotten the entirety of the English language?

And so he ventures a casual “…Barty?”

And Barty shakes his head a little bit, closing and opening his mouth a few times before managing a choked, “When did you get glasses?”

And Evan frowns, saying, “I’ve always had glasses, I just usually wear my contacts.”

And Barty nods distractedly, squeaking out a “Right” before walking straight to the bathroom and closing the door abruptly.

Barty re-emerges some time later, not saying a word to Evan as he walks straight back out of the dorm.

And Evan shakes his head, thinks, Well, that was weird, and just goes back to studying for his test.

#Barty went to the bathroom to have a ‘‘proper full on gay crisis’’#mans was STRUGGLING #and then him just walking straight back out to have another gay crisis? iconic #poor Barty #Evan in his glasses does things to him #rosekiller #evan rosier #barty crouch jr

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fluentisonus · 3 months

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INSANE interaction with the guy cleaning this airport bathroom just now I was struggling get the motion activated tap to work & he just leans over & lightly strokes the underside with two fingers together & when it immediately turns on says to me [irish accent] "there you go. you've just got to treat it like a lady." hello??????

#can't emphasize enough he didn't do this in a creepy way btw it was as casual as breathing & then he went back to #cleaning the bathroom & chatting with his colleague #but. huh #thoughts

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penbwl · 6 months

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