#were probably Cancelled because of the apocalypse that was right around in the corner in botw and aoc?

[ohraicodoll]

Daisies

Joel Miller x fem!reader The Last of Us (Show/Game) 1.3k Words

Summary: Because the women of Jackson have nothing better to do than set their eyes on Joel Miller. 

She wasn’t intentionally eavesdropping. No, she was minding her own business, grabbing supplies to help Joel fix the slightly broken window in Ellie’s room. The teenage girl kept complaining that it made her side of the house five degrees colder despite the fact it was warming up to Spring finally. 

It wasn’t her fault she was stuck in her ways, used to having to be silent as the dead, walking so quietly people had a habit of not noticing or hearing her. It was a survival skill, but one that didn’t suit settlement life where you were supposed to act normal and friendly and not like a ghost.

“Goddamn, it’s heinous how good the apocalypse looks on that man.”

“Right? The rest of us look like shit meanwhile Joel fucking Miller turned into a fine piece of meat.” Her brow furrowed at the women nearby, hands stilling on the small slivers of wood she’d been grabbing. Out of the corner of her eye, she looked at the small group as they very obviously stared across the Jackson plaza at the very man in question. Joel was talking to Tommy, heavy brown jacket stretched tight across his back as he stood in his usual Joel-stance. Hands on his hips, thumbs tucked into his belt, knee cocked out. He’d gone only a bit more gray, settlement life helping to destress him a bit though Ellie’s constant pestering may have canceled that out. Raising a teenage girl all over again was proving challenging, no matter the setting. But he was getting rest, getting food, and the strain had slowly seeped out of his face over time. They weren’t wrong. He did look good. He always looked good. She just didn’t like that they had noticed it as well. Joel and her weren’t necessarily a thing. Yes, they’d both helped Ellie to get there and yes, they all lived in the same house and yes, she knew exactly what that mouth could do but it wasn’t like they were dating. They only…existed together. Took care of each other, in more than a few ways. They didn’t exactly go holding hands down Main Street though. So no, while he wasn’t taken, wasn’t hers, there was an almost animalistic urge in her to stake a claim. To mark him and bare her teeth to get them to avert their eyes. Promise that they couldn’t handle him with their soft hands and dainty sensibilities they’d kept in their stranglehold even decades after that stopped mattering. Joel had always likened her to a feral animal and maybe he wasn’t far off. But maybe he liked that kind of thing. Like girls in dresses, smelling of daisies, cooking and cleaning and letting him do the hard work. A man’s job, whatever the fuck that was. They never talked about that. It certainly wasn’t her.  Gritting her teeth, she tried to block out their voices and focus on the task. It was dumb. This was dumb. It came from complacency and comfort and having too much time on your hands from not having to survive moment to moment. They should be helping be actually productive and not gawking at Joel Miller, talking about his ass- Their voices lowered and became fervent whispers, causing her to look up again. Joel had finished his conversation with Tommy and was headed directly their way. He wasn’t scowling for once, seemed almost relaxed though that furrow between his brow was almost permanent at this point. It was just…Joel. She ducked her eyes back to the wood pieces and quickly picked out the pieces needed, adding them to her pile next to the small bottle of homemade glue, nails, and rationed tape she’d already gathered. He probably didn’t need it all, but the more she grabbed the more it would seem like she was busy. If he was going to talk to them, it wasn’t her business and she certainly wasn’t going to be caught eavesdropping. While they may not have noticed her, Joel had a sixth sense for when she was around no matter how quiet she was trying to be. A chorus of chirpy, “Good morning, Joel!” went up as he reached the group and her teeth went on edge. She could taste the words like overly sweetened cough syrup. Thick and saccharin. But no reply came, no thick accented greeting, only a grunt of half-acknowledgement and that caused her to look up again. He’d sidestepped them, barely giving them even a glance as if they were in his way and were an obstacle, and was instead heading to her. And if his eyes seemed to brighten, lips seemed to lift up in the barest hint of a smile, she tried not to notice it. “You’re takin’ an awfully long time to pick out a few scraps,” Joel commented as he finally reached her side. Shoving what she had grabbed into the sack on her shoulder, she shrugged, “Wanted to give you time to talk to Tommy. Didn’t want to interrupt.” He smirked as if smelling her bullshit and shook his head, “Wasn’t anything important. He wanted to invite us over for dinner after someone ratted to him and Maria about last night’s dinner catastrophe.” Their multiple cans of different soup mixture. They had only had one of each type and one pot. Mixing it had been to save time, but the taste had been…something. “I think Ellie’s getting tired of our experimenting,” she huffed a small laugh, shuffling the toe of her boot along the dirt, “I guess Maria’s cooking is slightly better than ours.” “Well maybe Ellie can take over dinner duties if she’s gonna snitch,” Joel chuckled, “If she wants home cooked meals so bad, she can figure them out herself. I can barbecue, but that’s about it besides heating up a can.” “Yeah, yeah, so you like to say,” smirking, she began to start walking towards the direction of their house, ignoring the whispers and glances the women were giving the two. She could only imagine what they thought of her, standing at his side. Rough, unkept, throwing on whatever shirt she had grabbed off the floor though at this point she wasn’t sure which were hers and which were his. She definitely didn’t smell like daisies no matter how clean she got. Before she could go down that train of thought though, Joel matched his steps to hers and surprised her. It wasn’t holding hands, wasn’t anything particularly romantic, but as they both passed the group he slipped his hand into her back pocket. The move brought her closer to him, had his arm pressed into her back, but the heat of his hand separated from her skin by only threadbare denim set her on fire. He leaned into her and whispered into her ear, “Next time we go hunting, I’ll show you and wipe that sass right off your face.” His fingers clenched, almost gripping her ass, causing her to bite the inside of her cheek. “Now let’s get home before you rip the throats out of those hens clucking behind us.” She tried not to seem surprised that he’d noticed, had thought she masked her irritation well, but this was Joel. Of course he noticed. “What, you don’t want me to hurt your fan group?” raising a brow at him, she looked up and tried to stay joking, teasing. No, she wasn’t jealous. No, she wasn’t looking for him to voice that this was something beyond mutual satisfaction. But the hand in her pocket was new outside of the confines of the house and it had thrown her for a loop. Joel chuckled, muttering the words fan group and stared at her, eyes darkening and pulling her a little tighter into his side, “Darling, I could care less about them. I don’t need someone who can cook and tell me how good looking I am. In case you haven’t noticed, I prefer someone who I trust to have my back. Who has some teeth.” And that was all that needed to be said. She grinned, showing those very same teeth, and didn’t care if it made her look feral. They walked back to their half-hobbled together house, their kid that wasn’t theirs, and their shit cooking. God help anyone that tried to get in their way.

#tlou #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller #the last of us fanfic #tlou fanfic #raicodoll writes #a small snippet after snickering at people's comments about joel #series: feral

[ancientstone]

Photo I.D.: Screenshots of two anon asks, the bottom image, the first ask, says: “So I've begun rewatching TUA for the millionth time because the world is a nightmare and I need a distraction, and anyway I feel like I'd never really noticed before that Five never has a weapon on his person. Like, in the Apocalypse when he was the literal last person alive he was armed and ready to go, but in Griddy's he goes in unarmed and leaves unarmed. What do you make of that? Is it confidence in his ability to protect himself? Or does it signal he really is over fighting unless necessary?”

The top image, the second ask, says: “Hey! It's me, the person! I'm so excited, muse away!! I just really wanted your take on it because I feel you get how Five's brain works better than any other writer I've seen. Also it just really stood out to me, I guess especially because not only was he taken by surprise at Griddy's (them finding him sooner than he expected) but he could've literally helped himself to any of the weapons now knowing he was already a target. Just interesting. Anyhoo yay I can't wait to see your thoughts!” End photo I.D.

~~~

Right, now I’ve had time to give this proper thought, I’m going to answer this very interesting question in a ramble-y, completely incoherent way!

(Also thank you so much anon ❤❤❤ You’re too kind!!)

Why doesn’t Five carry a weapon in 2019/60s, but he does in the apocalypse?

Age:

Apocalypse Five is, ultimately, a kid.

Things are scary as a kid, and in the apocalypse there are always things moving, breaking, and crumbling all around you. When you’re on your own in the kind of environment with constant periodic noise, it’s really easy to imagine something/someone is there (speaking from personal experience in woods at night - if you give your imagination the chance it will make you believe all kinds of creatures are out there!) 

So tiny Five would have been spooked a lot, and for a while probably didn’t realise he was the only person left alive either, so keeping something on him was a reasonable thing to do to keep himself safe.

Side thought: He could also be armed in the apocalypse to kill rats? When we first get to see an apocalypse flashback at the end of s1ep1, a rat runs across the road in front of him, so at least a few survive. And when you kill things like that, you kinda have to gut them, so having a blade on hand to do that with quickly away from camp was probably a must. Yum.

So then he arrives in 2019 and the 60s.

Here he’s an adult, so he knows better than to jump at shadows. This gives him less of a motive to carry a blade for the sake of keeping the unknown things at bay.

Five is, however, also being chased by the Commission. So while this might be a factor into it, it’s probably not the sole reason. That’s more likely...

Mentality and Physical Capability:

Five is, when he pops back into the living world of 2019, far more skilled than his child self ever was.

Evidence: I mean, Five’s probably been bopping around the Academy since he could crawl, however when Five’s trying to show Reginald that he’s ready to time travel, he goes “I’ve been practicing my spatial jumps just like you said!” and then just...blinks to the other end of the table with a pleased “See?!”

Like, boy, that’s one end of the table to the other, that really shouldn’t be the heart of your argument here.

Also is it me or are Five’s kid jumps slower? Am I imagining that? The one at the dinner table certainly is in s1, and comparing that to the dinner scene in s2 with Veginald-Reginald, it looks like he becomes quicker.

2019/60s Five has more time to train and understand his abilities, to the point where he’s completely comfortable with using them in a fight to gain the upper hand.

E.g. Five vs the Swedes, Five vs Lila, the Griddy’s shootout, Gimbel Brothers

Five doesn’t often use his powers to get himself weapons, though, see the examples above.

Instead, he uses them to get himself into the middle of the fight. He could’ve easily swiped up one of the guns at Griddy’s, or have taken one of the guns from the dead Commission agents outside the barn to shoot Lila, but he doesn’t.

I think the reason Five doesn’t carry a weapon is because he is the weapon.

Which, when you think about it, ties nicely into this little exchange:

“You made me a killer!”

“You were always a killer, I just pointed you in a direction.”

Of course, he does take weapons, such as the the axe at the assassination, but more often than not we seen him kill with his bare hands (snapping necks) or with the things around him (his tie, a mop, and a pencil at Griddy’s, a glass dish to stop Diego and Hazel fighting, a metal pole when he fights Lila.)

Actually that probably stems from being in the apocalypse - Using the resources at hand to get you through a situation. There were likely times Five had to quickly bundle things together and work through something fast, so for him it’s probably second nature to just look around his environment and go: cool, what can I use?

Basically: Why would Five carry something to kill when he’s perfectly capable of doing it his damn self?

HOWEVER!

This ask also got me thinking about how Five is extremely reliant upon his powers to help him zip in and out of fights, and when he doesn’t have them the outcome of those fights are often less likely to go in his favour.

See:

Hazel and Cha-Cha find him at Gimbel Brothers - His powers run out, resulting in him being injured and cornered until a stroke of luck lets him hide

The Swedes attack Five at the Majestic 12 meeting - Five gets beaten and flung around like a rag doll, and required Lila’s intervention to save him

Five vs Lila/Five vs Five - These are interesting because they show that, when the odds are evenly matched (i.e. Lila also has the same powers as him, therefore cancelling out his advantage, or he’s against himself), he’s far more likely to struggle and lose (like he did in the barn). With Five vs Five, there was no obvious winner, and if the fight had been allowed to continue it’s probable that whoever came out on top did so out of luck rather than skill.

This is different from, say, Diego, who can just chuck a blade from a distance if needs must.

Not having anything on him means that Five doesn’t have the luxury of getting distance between him and the enemy while still causing damage, making him much more vulnerable at close range when his powers give up on him and has to rely on his strength alone. Again this plays into his resourcefulness with using the things around him.

Actually, this problem was likely less of an issue when he was in his adult body, because despite being older he was more physically capable of matching height/strength/energy. I wonder if Five struggled in the non-power fights we see here all the more because he’s now in the body of a teenager, and therefore has even less to rely on.

As Five says, he ended up in “This twip of a body.”

Conclusion ~ tl;dr ~

Five doesn’t have a weapon because he is the weapon, however he’s super reliant on his powers being part of that, so when they’re gone he’s at risk of being overpowered and taken down.

Conclusion, part 2

Hargreeves get your damn brother like a pointy stick or something jeez

#anon: hey what do you think about this? #me: IN THIS ESSAY I WILL #tua #number five #five hargreeves #my post #asked #i feel like this rambles a lot and doesn't make much sense but you all get the gist of it right? #whatever you do don't take a shot each time i say 'likely' or 'probably' lol #they don't look like real words anymore #long post

[taeken-my-heart]

Moirai Chapter 14

Summary: On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Soulmates au/ Enemies to lovers au. Angst, fluff, bickering, romance, eventual smut.

Word Count: 4669

**

You woke with a start, the room dark but you could hear the birds chirping from outside the window above your head. Glancing around the room, you allowed your eyes to adjust to your unfamiliar surroundings.

“Y/N?” Someone said from outside the door and you sighed, sluggish, into your pillow.

You were at Jungkook’s house. You remembered it all. The fight, the diner, staying the night here. Jimin. You rolled over before slowly sitting up, the t-shirt Jungkook lent you slipping off your shoulder.

“Are you awake?” He called softly from outside the door.

You pushed the covers from your body, moving from the warmth of the bed and towards the door, pulling it open gingerly. You blinked in the light as Jungkook’s eyes came into focus. He scanned you quickly before he flushed, clearing his throat and scratching the back of his neck.

“Ah, you’re awake. I know…I know it may not be the best time, but I thought I’d check.” He paused and you frowned at him in confusion, “Yesterday we all agreed we’d go to brunch today before my parents head home, but I know that after last night you’re probably not in the mood. Did you want me to tell my parents something came up and you had to cancel?”

Honestly, there was a part of you that really did want that; to just get back into bed and curl up in a ball and cry the day away. You couldn’t just lay down and roll over, though. You’d always known Jimin would meet his soulmate one day, you’d just never suspected it would have changed anything.

Now that it had, well…you needed a distraction.

“No,” you croaked, throat dry from sleep. “No, it’s OK, we can still go.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, eyebrows shooting up into his hairline, lackluster with the morning hour and you smiled weakly.

“Yeah, I need something to keep my mind occupied. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to your parents, though…you know, about last night.”

He nodded eagerly, “Yes, of course. Well, we’re meant to meet my parents in two hours so that’s why I wanted to check.”

You nodded, scratching your stomach through Jungkook’s shirt. “Could we maybe send my clothes from yesterday through a quick wash and dry while I shower?”

“Yes, of course. If you just give them to me, I’ll wash them.”

**

After your shower, you toweled off, dressing back in the clothes Jungkook had let you borrow the night before. You could hear him out in the living room, shuffling noises dulled by the way and the hum of the washing machine. Stepping from the bedroom, you eyed Jungkook from behind as he stood at his bookshelf, back to you and flipping through a book, fingers busy across the pages. His back flexed through the material of his sweater and you watched as his fingers came up to scratch at the hair on the nape of his neck.

Yesterday, you could never have imagined yourself here, but you were comfortable nevertheless. Your heart felt like it had, had a balm spread across it, dulling the pain, at least for a moment. Distraction was exactly what you needed right now. “What are you reading?” You asked softly.

Jungkook jumped, body rocking forward and he braced himself against the bookshelf before turning to look at you, eyes wide. “You scared me.” He chuckled and you smiled.

“Sorry.”

He looked down at the book in his hand, holding it up to show you the cover. Twelfth Night.

“Shakespeare?” You said, moving towards him and he allowed you to take the book from him, flipping through the pages yourself.

“Ah, yeah- I was just kind of skimming the pages. Distraction technique, I guess.”

You looked up at him and he blinked down at you, eyes round with surprise. You hadn’t noticed how close you’d come to stand, but you could almost feel his breath on your face. “Distraction?”

“Uh…yeah, just lots of things on my mind.”

“And Shakespeare helps you clear the fog?” You asked; skeptical. He grinned and you continued, “I personally, feel more confused than ever when I read anything Shakespeare. It’s like trying to read another language.”

He chuckled and leaned back against the TV console to your right. “I find I can relate to this story.”

“You like to dress in drag?” You smiled and his grin grew, “because I’m not judging, you can dress however you like, I just never would have guessed.”

“Ah, as comfortable as it all looks, I’m afraid it’s not really within my field of interests. I do relate to Viola, though.” He held his hand out for the book, which you gave him and he slipped it back on the shelf. You wanted to quiz him further, but just then the washing machine chimed and he made his way out of the room to go shift your clothes into the dryer.

“Ok,” he said, clapping his hands and walking back into the room, “I just set it to quick dry so your clothes should be ready in about 45 minutes. Did you want anything to eat, by the way? I know we’re gonna go eat, but did you need something to tide you over?”

You shook your head as he stood beside the fridge, hand poised and ready on the handle should you say yes.

“I’m OK, thank you. I’m not super hungry yet so I’ll save it.”

He nodded, ruffling his fingers through his hair. “Well, I’m gonna go take a quick shower. You’re welcome to watch TV or do whatever while you wait. Not that you need my company or anything.”

You smile, “Thanks, Jungkook.”

He nodded once before heading down the hallway to his room and out of sight and you retreated to the guest room to grab your phone before heading back out into the living room. Your phone battery was low and would likely die within the next hour. You pouted, sitting down on the couch and shuffling through notifications.

A text from your mom about the wedding, a text from Lizzy complaining about a follow up dentist appointment, an email reminder about your upcoming shift this evening. Nothing you didn’t already know about so you browsed leisurely through your social media until Jungkook returned to the living room.

“Hey, do you happen to have a phone charger that would work with this?” You asked, holding up your phone and he looked towards you, brushing damp strands of hair out of his face.

“Oh yeah, actually. Hold on.”

A moment later your phone was plugged in and charging and you relaxed back into the cushions of the couch. “Thanks again for letting me spend the night. It was needed.”

Jungkook looked over at you from across the island and smile, shrugging. “Don’t mention it. I wanted to help.”

“You’re probably confused, huh? Jimin and I seemed to be doing really well, right?” You stared up at the ceiling, heart swelling bitterly.

You could see Jungkook staring down at the counter top out of the corner of your eye. “You don’t have to share anything, you know?” He said softly and you turned your head to look at him, “I hope you don’t feel like you have to tell me anything you’re not ready to talk about.”

“Honestly, I just kind of want to talk it out.”

He nodded, rounding the counter and sitting in the chair next to the couch, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Lay it on me.”

“You already know he met his soulmate,” you huffed a breath at the ceiling, “but there was more to it than that. He went to the store and I guess he met Taehyung there.”

You could hear Jungkook hum low in his throat but you continued. “Anyway, he’s not stupid and confronted me about who you were. He was pretty mad that I’d lied and hid it, which was justified…but then he told me he’d met Molly.” Frowning, you sat up and turned to face Jungkook, pulling your leg up onto the couch. “He met her on the same day as me. How crap is that? I wasn’t telling him everything, but he was doing the same thing to me!”

Jungkook frowned, ringing his hands together. “It is pretty hypocritical of him to be mad at you.” He admitted.

“I’m really sorry I put you in that situation, though.” You sighed, looking back at him and he looked up at you, shrugging.

“It’s OK, I get it.”

“It’s not OK.” You shook your head, leaning forward, “I didn’t consider you or how you’d feel in that situation. All I thought about was my feelings and I’m sorry; that wasn’t fair.”

Jungkook smiled, “apology accepted. I have a whole list of things I want to apologize about…but that’s gonna have to wait until we don’t have a brunch with my parents.”

You chuckled, wrinkling your nose. “It sounds weird when you say it that way.”

He nodded, standing to go check on the laundry as it beeped and brought your clothes to you to slip into, just in time to leave.

He locked the door to his apartment behind the two of you and you followed down to the parking garage where his car was. “I’m gonna give you fair warning, my parents may ask certain…questions.” He said, belting himself into his seat and you glanced over at him as you fastened your own seat belt.

“You mean about us?” He nodded silently and you pursued your lips. “Honestly, I fully expect them to. I don’t know what to say to them, though. I’m not exactly in that mind frame at the moment.”

“Well, I told them to behave…so hopefully their line of questioning is minor.”

“Either way, we’ll survive.” You chuckled, “it’s not the apocalypse, after all.”

Jungkook laughed and the two of you eased into a comfortable quiet, you staring out the window at your side as the city flew passed.

The restaurant where you were meeting his parents was a small, hole in the wall joint. A soup and salad sort of place with waffles, apparently. It was a little unconventional, but you were hungry and it sounded delicious right about now. The bell above the door jingled to signal your arrival and you looked around, spotting Jungkook’s parents in a small booth on the right side of the restaurant with a window that opened to the alleyway beside it, a beautiful view of the faded red brick wall as your neighbor.

You waved, making your way over to them, Jungkook just behind you and they stood to give the both of you hugs before you all sat down.

“How long have you been here?” You asked, looking down at your watch, “sorry we’re a few minutes late.”

“No worries,” Mrs. Jeon waved you off, smiling over at her son, “we only just got here ourselves. We ordered water all around if that’s OK with you.”

“Perfect,” you nodded.

“You and Jungkook must live nearby, did he pick you up on the way here?” She asked and you smiled tight.

“Yeah, he was kind enough to give me a ride.” You said, folding your hands together on top of the table.

“You guys should tell Y/N about you’re upcoming trip!” Jungkook said quickly.

“Oh, yes please!” You said excitedly, “where are you going next?”

Mrs. Jeon smiled, thanking the waiter as he dropped off their drinks and you suddenly remembered you were supposed to be looking at your menu. After a quick perusal and the waiter jotting down your request, the conversation resumed.

“We’re going to Norway!” She said excitedly.

“I am so jealous!” You sighed mournfully, “I want to travel more.”

“Jungkook loves to travel,” Mrs. Jeon supplied and you could already see exactly where she was going with that topic. “The two of you should go somewhere together, that would be fun don’t you think?”

Jungkook blushed, coughing loudly. “Well, maybe someday a group of friends could go or something. You and Lizzy would probably have a ton of fun.”

“True,” you nodded, thankful for his interjection. “Yeah, Lizzy’s always talked about wanting to go to Bora Bora. She’s a friend from work.”

“Bora Bora would be fun!” Mr. Jeon supplied, “We’ve been to a lot of tropical places recently so now we’re looking at other types of climates. Doing all the things we couldn’t do when this one was a kid.”

He aimed his thumb at Jungkook who grinned, “Sorry I ruined the party.”

“You didn’t ruin the party,” his father chuckled, “It was just a different adventure.”

“We’re lucky we get to have both adventures in life. Raising you and now travel. Do you want to have kids someday, Y/N?” Mrs. Jeon asked suddenly.

“Yeah,” you nodded, sipping at your water. “I’ve always thought 3 kids would be a nice number.”

“That’s a great number!” She smiled, “Jungkook wants three kids too, how lucky!”

Jungkook spluttered, attempting to keep the drink he’d just taken from dripping all over the table with a napkin at his chin. “Mom,” he whined, “come on, let’s not talk about that stuff. New topic, new topic.”

“OK, OK.” She chuckled, grabbing her own napkin and spreading it across her lap. “You know, I remember back when the two of you were kids. There was one day in particular that you’d come over to play, Y/N. The two of you went out and played in the mud. I was so mad because your mother had sent you over in this beautiful baby pink dress, without a change of clothes, I might add. Had to strip you both naked and get you in the bath.”

“Mom!” Jungkook groaned, just as the waitress was beginning to bring out their food.

“I remember that, actually.” You chuckled, thanking the waitress as she slid your plate across the table to you. “You berated Jungkook a lot because you thought it had been his idea to go jump around in the backyard, but actually it was mine. Should have fessed up sooner, but he called me smelly while we were playing and I was vindictive. Sorry, Jungkook.”

“You should be,” he teased, “I cried that night because of you.”

“Aww,” you cooed, bumping your shoulder into his, “that makes me feel bad!”

“Well we were five so it’s fine, I’ve mostly forgiven you by now.”

You laughed loudly, covering your mouth as you chewed your food. “Mostly? Wow, that’s intense.”

“Well, I did get yelled at while naked in front of you, that’s a lot for a man to try to live down.” He grinned and you rolled your eyes.

“Oh please, I bet you don’t even remember it.” You teased, “Just going along with the story to make me feel guilty. Like a lying liar who lies.”

Jungkook exploded with laughter and you tried to smother your grin. You’d always liked the sound of his laugh; loud, obnoxious, and a little bit squeaky. It made you feel happy.

“Anyway,” Mrs. Jeon chuckled, looking between the two of you, “There’s no such thing as confessing too late. There’s always room for redemption.”

She reached across the table, squeezing Jungkook’s hand and you resumed eating. Conversation veered into new topics and you were grateful that they steered clear of the soulmate conversation. It was comfortable to be around them, like going back in time before things were different.

“Make sure you come visit us, soon!” Mrs. Jeon said, once your group had made your way back out onto the sidewalk. She rifled her fingers through her purse distractedly and you smiled.

“I promise.” You said, offering hugs before they got in their car and waved you off.

“I assume you want me to drop you back off at your place?” Jungkook asked softly, and you nodded.

“Yeah, I should get ready for work.”

He held the car door for you and you sat yourself carefully inside, buckling back in. The car was stuffy with summer heat, your clothes clinging in damp places.

“You live nearby, right?” Jungkook asked, sliding into the driver’s seat and fastening himself in before starting the cars ignition.

“Yeah, just a few blocks over. Head right here and I’ll direct you.”

He nodded, tilting the nose of the car back into the road silently. “Thanks for coming to eat with my parents and me. I know they can ask some uncomfortable questions sometimes, especially my mom, but I know they really appreciated you taking time to see them.”

“Of course.” You smiled softly, tilting your head against the head rest to look at him. “It feels like just yesterday we were all having a barbecue at my house; like going back in time.”

“Back when things were simpler.” He agreed, nodding and taking a left when you pointed for it. “Life sure changes a lot, huh? You kind of expect it to as a kid, you know it’s going to, but you don’t realize how much it will. In high school I thought I’d be friends with certain people forever but after graduation it all just changed.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, looking out the window as you entered your neighborhood. “I thought Lillian, Noelle, and I would be friends forever. Lillian and I barely talk anymore, life is just too busy now. She got married a few years ago and I know she had a kid a couple years back, but things aren’t the way they used to be. It’s a little sad.”

“What about Noelle?” Jungkook asked, turning into the parking lot of your apartment complex and putting his car in park.

You shrugged, unbuckling your seat belt. “I don’t know, we haven’t kept up. She moved somewhere overseas after university and I haven’t heard from her since. I hope she’s doing well, I hope she’s happy…but we didn’t keep in contact.” You reached for the door handle, turning to look at him, “Thanks for everything, Jungkook. I should get back inside. I’ve got work in a few hours and I need to get ready.”

The excuse was weak, you both knew it, but honestly you needed time to feel overwhelmed from your breakup before throwing yourself into work tonight and trying to forget everything outside of the hospital walls. You stood, making to close the door behind you before Jungkook called out.

You looked back into the car, unsure of what more there was to even say. “Just,” he sighed, “just let me know if you need anything, OK?”

“Sure.” You murmured before waving and closing the door to his car, making your way into your apartment building.

Your apartment was dark when you made your way inside and you flipped on the lights, heart sinking. It was unreasonable to expect Jimin to be here, of course he wouldn’t be, but your heart had still foolishly hoped.

Most of the apartment looked untouched, but the bedroom was where his absence was most obvious. You couldn’t help the burn in your eyes as they filled with tears, moving around the room as you surveyed what was now absent. The most obvious thing straight away was that his side table was now bare. It had been obnoxiously cluttered since the day you’d first moved into this apartment; filled to the brim with books, his reading glasses, a charger he couldn’t find a place for, and his obnoxiously loud alarm clock in the shape of a bulls eye.

You couldn’t understand why this kept happening to you, why you’d always fall in love with someone that you couldn’t have. Even Jimin, who had hated the idea of soulmates for so long, even he was no match for the pull when it all came down to it.

You laid back against your mattress, grabbing Jimin’s pillow and pulling it to you. It still smelled of him and you buried your face into it and cried. It was like a double edged sword and you sought comfort in the pain it inflicted. You wondered if he was with Molly now, if he’d been happy to move on from your life together and to be with the one he was destined for. You wondered if he just thought of you as a place holder.

Did he pack up all his things quickly? Did he spare even a tear for you or was last night all just a show to spare your feelings? You knew you shouldn’t think these things, but they flooded your mind like a tidal wave; unrelenting and you were drowning. You fell asleep for a couple hours, giving into the allure of your exhaustion before you stood up to shower once more. Your face was puffy from crying and you needed to wash away the evidence. If you were going to make it through your shift then you needed to be able to fake it, crying at work was not something you were planning on doing; you weren’t Karen down at the intake desk.

Walking up the ramp to the hospital felt like walking the plank. Most people wouldn’t ask you about your personal life, they didn’t care enough to do so; caught up in whatever was going on in their own. It was Lizzy you were worried about. She was nosy and a gossip and on top of all of that, she was your best friend. Well, probably your only friend at this point. You had a few friends from university that you saw time to time, but everyone had something to do and you’d grown accustomed to just having Jimin and Lizzy as your “people.”

Maybe you needed to join a club. Making new friends wouldn’t hurt and would probably actually help. You rounded your shoulders, exhaling deeply before making your way inside and towards the locker room. After changing into your scrubs you made your way out to the OR board to check where you’d been scheduled for the evening.

The first thing you had to do was a pre-op evaluation so you made your way down towards the ambulatory sector. The hallways were mostly empty as you made your way down and you felt sluggish in your trip. On your way, you stopped to go over the patients EHR before continuing on. A routine case that would be easy enough to drown your mind in.

“Doctor,” You looked up at the smiling eyes of one of the nurses as you were making your way towards the nurse’s station. “You here for Ms. Laurie’s chart?”

“Yes please.” You said with a nod, watching as she went to grab it. Another nurse nearby was conversing with someone over the phone and you waited, fingers drumming against the countertop. “Thank you so much, Carla.”

Carla shrugged with a smile, “no worries. Your patient is in c14.”

You nodded, flipping through the chart and scanning the notes. Everything you’d already seen in the EHR, but the physical chart gave you room for notes.

Ms. Laurie was sitting up on the bed when you entered, fully dressed and looking like she’d just come in from the streets, purse attached at her hands and she clung to the strap like a life line.

“Hi Ms. Laurie, my name is Doctor Y/L/N, how are you?”

“Amanda, please.” She smiled, reaching out the shake your hand. “I’m OK, pretty nervous, actually. I know it’s a fairly routine surgery, but I’m not good with stress.” You grabbed the wheelie chair from beside the computer, pulling it in front of her and sitting down.

“It’s totally normal to feel nervous, but I’ll be there with you the whole time, monitoring you and making sure you’re safe and as comfortable as possible. I wanna run through some questions with you and I need you to be as open with me as possible, OK? I’m your advocate in the OR and the only way I can do my job to the best of my ability is if I have all the right information.”

Ms. Laurie nodded her understanding, fingers ringing in her lap and you smiled to comfort her. “Full name and birthday, please.”

“Amanda Laurie, May 11th 1993.”

“Great. On here it says you’re allergic to pine nuts and cucumbers, is there anything else I should be concerned about? Any medications? Latex?” She shook her head and you continued, folding one leg over the other. “What about sensitivities? Any to the medication Betadine?”

“I have a sensitivity to gluten, but nothing medication wise.”

“OK, good information. Now, have you met your surgeon yet or been given names and information?”

Ms. Laurie shook her head no, eyebrows twitching up, “the nurse earlier told me the surgeon’s name, but I don’t remember.”

You smiled, waving it off, “that’s no problem; I can remind you. Your surgeons name is Doctor Michaels and she is excellent, one of the best surgeons in the field. She’s really nice and very competent, you’ll be in great hands with her.”

“I doubt you’d tell me if my surgeon sucked.” She chuckled nervously and you grinned.

“We wouldn’t hire a surgeon unless they were really good so thankfully I don’t have to lie about anything. The staff here is great, seriously, we’re going to take good care of you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“OK, now before we proceed, I need you to tell me a little about the procedure you’re getting today.” You moved your chair back just a tad, pen ready and waiting against your clipboard.

“I’m getting a breast biopsy. My doctor told me that I had something weird with my breast tissue or something but he said I’d need to have a surgery.”

“OK, great.” You set your clipboard down on the table, instructing Ms. Laurie to lay back against the bed. “I’m just going to check and make sure that you’ve been marked in the correct location for the surgery, want to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible. While we’re here, do you have any body piercings in places I can’t see?”

She flushed a little but nodded as you took a look at the sight where she’d be receiving her surgery. Everything checked out so you allowed her to sit up, returning to your own seat. “Yes,” she admitted, “I have a belly button piercing.” “Just the one piercing?” You inquired and she nodded.

“OK, I’ll need you to take that out before the surgery. I know it may seem a little unnecessary since it’s nowhere near the sight, but we just need to make sure that any piercings you may have anywhere are removed, just in case.”

“I understand.” She said softly and you smiled, checking off the rest of your questions quickly before standing once more.

“Great, well Amanda, it was really nice to meet you. I’ll be seeing you again very shortly. Do you have someone who will be here with you after the procedure?”

She nodded, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Yes, my mom will be here soon.” She paused a moment before blinking up at you, eyes glassy. “I’m scared, though, doctor.” She admitted and you reached out, taking her hand in her own.

“I understand. It can feel a little scary to do something like this, but you’re being very brave, Amanda. It takes a lot of courage to do what you’re doing, but you know you’re doing what’s best for your health, right?” At her nod you continued, “I’ll be there with you, taking care of you. You won’t be alone. I promise.”

“Thank you, doctor.” You nodded, squeezing her hand before leaving back into the hallway and walking to meet up with your attending.

You wished you could be as brave as Ms. Laurie was, facing hurtles in your life the way she was facing her own. Both Jimin and Jungkook came to mind and you sighed, pulling up the chart once more to make a note. Those thoughts would have to wait.

**

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! We're finally starting to see some character growth and we're really close to JK and YN getting is together and just kissing already! Hahahaha

Let me know what you think, loves <3

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

Copyright © 2018 by Taeken-My-Heart. All rights reserved.

#btsbookclub #jungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook angst

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Sam, Interrupted: Part One

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,102

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

The death of the two women in your life was still very fresh in your minds. They wanted you three to kill Lucifer with the Colt, and as much as you tried, it didn’t work. Jo died for nothing as did Ellen, but the event hasn’t left your mind since. Your mind wouldn’t let you forgive yourself for not doing something more even though Dean’s told you repeatedly that you did everything you could. Jo was dead the minute the hellhounds got to her no matter how much magic you used on her body.

Nonetheless, there were other people that needed to be saved. Other people that had no clue the apocalypse was near them. Other people that were more important than Lucifer since the archangel hasn’t shown up since that night. All you could do was focus on the case in front of you which just so happened to be in a psychiatric hospital where an ex-hunter summoned you.

In order to get into the hospital and do your job, you needed to go undercover.

In order to do that, you needed to tell the truth.

“You were referred to me by a Dr. Babar in Chicago,” Dr. Fuller stated, looking at the file in his hands.

“That’s right,” you nodded.

“Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?”

“I don't know. I don't have any elephant books. Look, Doctor, I-I-I think the doc was in over his head with this one,” Dean points to his brother. “'Cause my brother is,” he makes a motion with his fingers by the side of his head that usually meant “crazy”.

“Okay, fine, thank you. That's really not necessary,” he stuttered, grabbing his notepad and file. “Why don't you tell me how you're feeling, Alex?”

“I'm fine. I mean, okay, a little depressed, I guess,” Sam sighed.

“Okay, any idea why?” Dr. Fuller asked as he wrote in his notepad.

“Probably because I started the apocalypse.”

“The apocalypse?”

“Yeah, that's right.”

“And you think you started it?” Dr. Fuller asked, looking at you and Dean who just smiled innocently.

“Well, yeah, I mean I killed this demon, Lilith, and I accidentally freed Lucifer from hell. So now, he's topside, and we're trying to stop him.”

“Who is?”

“Me. And him. And her. And this one angel.”

“Oh, you mean, like an angel on your shoulder.”

“No, his name’s Castiel. He wears a trench coat.”

“See what I mean, Doc? The kid's been beating himself up about this for months. The apocalypse wasn't his fault.”

“It’s not?” Dr. Fuller asked, stunned.

“No. There was this other demon, Ruby. She got him addicted to demon blood, and near the end, he was practically chugging this stuff,” you chuckled, adding in your two cents.

“My brother's not evil. He was just... high... yeah? So, could you fix him up so we can get back to traveling around the country and hunting monsters?”

“I really have an itching to kill some demons and Lucifer. I mean, we did shoot him, but he lived and is now going to come after me because apparently, I’m connected to his aunt or something.”

“Lucifer’s… aunt?”

“Yeah. Her name is Amara.”

“Irma,” Dr. Fuller said when he picked up his phone and dialed an extension, “cancel my lunch.”

All three of you gave the doctor comforting and warm smiles which only concerned him more.

“Dr. Fuller thinks it would be best if we keep you three under observation or a couple of days,” a sickly happy nurse said as she led you down a hall.

She was speaking, but you didn’t listen to a word she was saying. There was something off about the dark-haired nurse. She wasn’t a demon or an angel… but she wasn’t human either.

“All of us? Me, too? And Y/N?” Dean asked.

“Yes, Sugar. The doctor thinks that would be best,” she smiled.

Sam and Dean got their own rooms, and when she was done with them, she walked into your room with a smile on her face. She went down to business and wrapped a blood pressure cuff around your arm, checked it, and then removed it.

“Alright, I'm just gonna give you a little check-up,” she smiled.

“Would you stop smiling all the time? You’re freaking me out here,” you mumbled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she playfully frowned before smiling again.

“What are you?” you muttered to yourself, not expecting her to hear it.

Though she did, and her smiled faltered just a bit before she reminded herself to keep it on her face always. Yeah, there was something definitely wrong with her.

“How long is this going to take?” you asked.

“Not that long. You just relax and let me do my job.” She was right, it didn’t take that long, and you were walking to the patient lounge with patient scrubs, shoes, and a blue robe.

It’s what Sam and Dean were wearing when you joined them.

“How was your Silkwood shower?” Dean asked you.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you said in a small voice. Shaking off the horrifying experience, you decided to get down to business about why you were really here in the first place. “I can't believe I let you two talk me into this.”

“Hey, it's the least we could do. Martin saved Dad's ass more times than we can count. He's a great hunter,” Sam defended the man who summoned you here.

“Was. Until Albuquerque,” Dean grumbled.

“Besides, I just figure it's best we keep busy. That's all.”

“Better than what?” Dean asked.

“You know what,” you sighed, still not over Ellen and Jo’s death at all.

“Okay. Look... um... last few weeks, you've kind of been worrying me,” Sam admitted.

“Oh, come on, Sam. Stop,” Dean rolled his eyes. “Look, just because we're in the loony bin doesn't give you the right to head-shrink me.”

“Dean—”

“Ellen and Jo dying—yeah, it was a fucking tragedy, okay? But I'm not gonna wallow in it.”

“Dean, you always do this. You can't just keep this shit in,” you sighed.

“Watch me,” he chuckled before spotting the ex-hunter by the corner. “Oh, there he is.”

Dean left you and Sam, and you watched him go with a sad look. Ellen and Jo meant something to him, you knew, and it sucked he never wanted to talk about anything. Taking a deep breath, you and Sam walked over to Martin who smiled at your presence.

“Sam, Dean, Y/N, wow,” he stood and shook Sam’s hand. “Wow, you boys got big. You too, Y/N. You look good.”

“Thanks. You do, too, Martin,” you smiled.

“Uh... well, thanks for coming,” he motioned for you to sit, which you three did. “In the old days, I could've taken care of this thing with both hands tied behind my back... but, well... now...”

“What do you think it is that we're hunting?”

“I don't know yet. A ghost, demon, monster... animal, vegetable, mineral,” he chuckled. “Hospital's had five deaths in the last four months. Doctors keep calling it suicides, but they're wrong.”

“So, you’ve seen this thing?” you asked. Martin shook his head which lead you to your neck question. “Has anyone seen this thing?”

“Well, a couple patients have, uh... had glimpses, but there's not a lot to go on.”

“Are they reliable?” Dean asked.

“Oh, sure, why wouldn't they be?” Martin wondered.

Taking a look around the room, you noticed a woman danced and hummed around the room, and you knew whatever she said wasn’t going to be reliable. Looking back at Martin, you raised an eyebrow at him.

“I know you three think I'm a bag of loose screws. Now, you wouldn't be wrong. But I wouldn't have called you unless there was something here. I can feel it in my gut.”

“We believe you. Have you checked any of the bodies? Found signs of an attack?” Sam asked.

“Well, uh, no... I don't go around dead b-b-b-bodies anymore,” he flinched. Dr. Fuller approached you four and smiled at everyone.

“Alex, Eddie, Maria,” he smiled at you and the brothers. It’s not like you could use your real names here. “Well, I'm glad to see you're making friends. Why don't you and Mr. Creaser join us for group? Please. Right this way.”

Getting up, you followed the Doctor, but he stopped you and Dean from joining Martin and Sam.

“Actually, I'm gonna be putting you two in the afternoon group.”

“What? Why?” you asked.

“Well, to be frank, uh, the relationship that you two have with your brother seems dangerously codependent. I think a little time apart will do you both good,” he smiled.

He walked away with Sam and Martin, but you two frowned as you watched them go.

“What do we do now?” Dean asked.

“I guess we just hang here a bit until they come back. We can’t do anything without them. Well, I mean we could, but it’ll be like us chasing our tails.”

“Then let’s play,” he smiled, moving a chair out for you at a table with a checkers board on it.

“Don’t mind if I do,” you grinned, taking a seat.

Dean sat opposite of you and set up the board, giving you the red ones and him the black. When everything was set up, he made the first move, and the game started. When the score was tied, you held up a hand and got up from your seat.

“Don’t cheat. I’m going to use the bathroom,” you chuckled before walking away.

As you turned the corner, you looked back to see Dean speaking to someone even though no one was there to begin with.

After a long afternoon, you and Dean followed several patients down the hall, Dean’s hands in his pockets and staring at the floor. He was kind of depressed, but you didn’t know why he was. He claimed a doctor came to him while you were away to talk about his father, but you were only gone for five minutes. Just as you two passed by a door, it opened and Sam walked out and joined you two.

“Dean, hey. You okay?”

“He’s having a tough time. Please tell us you found something.”

“Yeah. A guy, Ted, says he saw the creature. We should talk to him. You wanna meet here in an hour?”

“Yeah, sooner we take care of this thing, sooner we can get gone. This place gives me the creeps,” he shivered.

Turning around, you come face to face with a patient who just smiled. Before you could say anything, she grabs the back of your neck and kisses you just like that. Your eyes went wide as did the brothers, and she pulled away with a seductive smile.

“Hi.”

“Hi…?��

“I’m Wendy.”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded.

She slapped your ass as she passed by you to leave, and you watched her with a confused look.

“Dude—”

“Not a word, Winchester,” you glared at Dean who lost his smile.

He cleared his throat and pretended what he saw didn’t affect him in anyway.

After hours, when you knew the nurses would be on their rounds, you and Dean met his brother outside of his cell. Sam had the lock pick he managed to sneak into the place. He knew of the guy that saw the monster you were looking for, and you were going to need to talk to him if you wanted to get this case over and done with as soon as possible.

“Well, it's about time. Nurses are on their rounds. We got, like, fifteen, twenty minutes. So, where is this guy?” Dean asked.

“Room 306,” Sam informed, leading the trio to the room.

It didn’t take long since Sam’s was near his. When you approached the door, you heard Ted screaming in fear. The monster must be in there, and your hands turned blue to get the door opened faster than a lock pick would. The brothers moved out of the way, and right before your hands could touch the door, Ted’s feet slammed against the window so that you couldn’t see inside the place.

“Hurry up! Come on, hurry up!” Dean urged.

Shaking your head, you placed your hands flat on the door as you let your magic do its thing to get the door unlocked. As soon as the door clicked, you opened it only to see Ted hanging from a pipe in the ceiling with a tied bed sheet around his neck.

“Damn it!” you exclaimed.

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[travllingbunny]

Quarantine tag game

Thanks for tagging me, @sometimesrosy!

ARE YOU STAYING HOME FROM WORK/SCHOOL? I am staying home but not from work, because I work at home. Not just now, I always work at home, so there hasn’t been any change in that respect. The volume of work was the same as always during the last few weeks, too. I haven’t had any new work since Friday, so I’m enjoying a few days of rest, but I don’t know if this has anything to do with Corona. A few days of rest and no work has happened before. It will give me more time to clean my apartment.

IF YOU’RE STAYING HOME, WHO IS THERE WITH YOU? My two dogs and two cats. They are probably happy that they get even more time with me than usual. I think that some people don’t consider pets real company - probably people who don’t have pets - which I find funny. They are amazing company and I never feel lonely or bored. It’s never boring with them. Taking the dogs out two times a day, having to feed the cats 6-7 times a day or however often they start mewing and asking for food (especially the kitten - the young one is just 9 months old), having to stand guard to make sure dogs don’t steal cat food :D and all the petting and displays of affection.

ARE YOU A HOMEBODY? Not really? But I’m also not not a homebody? LOL Normally, I enjoy going out and meeting people; I have salsa classes two times a week, which are really fun; I go clubbing on weekends; and my favorites are the Language Cafe type events, which used to be up to 3 times a week before the Coronavirus situation started (these are events for people to meet and practice languages, where you can just come, choose the table with the language you want to practice, introduce yourself and join the conversation). I go to concerts, film festivals, public lectures/debates etc. 

But at the same time, I don’t mind staying at home, and I’ve had experience in having to stay for a week or two when I had a ton of work and tight deadlines. I talk to people a lot via phone, Viber, Whatsupp and social media, exchange memes and satirical articles about the current situation, etc. I’m online a lot, and I’m trying to finally catch up/check out some of the many TV shows, movies and books I have on my watchlist/readlist and do other stuff I never had enough time for.

AN EVENT THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT GOT CANCELLED? I don’t think it’s been officially cancelled yet (?), but I doubt that the Tindersticks concert in early May is gonna be happening. I had already bought the ticket so I hope it gets postponed. I’ve also bought a ticket for a Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds concert in early June (it’s probably too optimistic to hope that will happen?) and a Pixies concert in early September (I don’t have to worry about that one, do I?)

WHAT MOVIES HAVE YOU WATCHED RECENTLY? Since the curfew started, I’ve watched just a few movies that happened to be on TV  - which were all very different, but I wasn’t impressed by any of them (Divergent, Ironclad, and Francis Ha). 

The last time I was in cinema was for the FEST film festival, which ended on 8 March, and I watched Jojo Rabbit on the closing night. I really loved it. Before that, at the same festival, I watched Apocalypse Now: The Final Cut, Blood Quantum (pretty good Canadian horror that’s a different take on the zombie epidemic genre, as it takes place in a First Nation reserve, most characters/actors are First Nation and it deals with social issues), Spanish period drama by Alejandro Amenabar  Mientras dure la guerra (During the War) about the Spanish Civil War and Miguel de Inamuno’s role in the events, The Lighthouse (really good, really dark psychological horror drama that can have a bunch of interpretations) and Dead Don’t Die (Jim Jarmush’s zombie comedy with some very on-the-nose social commentary).

WHAT SHOWS ARE YOU WATCHING? The list is pretty long! Some shows I’ve been watching on TV include: Peaky Blinders (really good!), Babylon Berlin (still in season 1), Penny Dreadful (I’m almost finished - I didn’t like season 1 that much but it got much better in seasons 2 and 3), Wynonna Earp (not great but it’s just a fun show with some cool actors/characters). I'm about to finish S1 of The Witcher and I want to rewatch it immediately to figure out the timelines. I’m finishing my rewatch of The 100 and I’m going to resume my rewatch of Agents of SHIELD (hopefully I can finish it by its premiere date, 27 May). Also watching Outlander season 5, Harley Quinn, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, need to catch up on Roswell: New Mexico, Prodigal Son and Stumptown and finish The Outsider, and have recently started The Plot Against America and Mindhunter (the latter because my best friend has recommended it). I’ve even checked out the pilot of Lucifer, which I may or may not continue soon, and I’m continuing with 12 Monkeys season 1. And I intend to check out Kingdom. Quite a mix of genres there.

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO? I haven’t listened to that much music lately as I used to, but my routine for putting myself to sleep is to turn on MTV Rocks (or the Rock Alternative radio channel) on my TV, in low volume, program the sleep function for 2 hours, and go to bed. It works like a charm. I always have trouble falling asleep in silence. 

Other than that, I’ve been listening to a lot of Haelos since I first discovered them when I heard their song “Alone” in season 6 of The 100, and I’ve listened to othe songs from The 100 and Tree Adams’ soundtrack for season 3.

WHAT ARE YOU READING? Before all this, I borrowed 3 books from the American Corner library: Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye and Beloved and Tea Obrecht’s The Tiger’s Wife.  I’m reading The Bluest Eye at the moment, but I’m also going to finally start reading GRRM’s Fire and Blood, which I had never found time for.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR SELF-CARE? The usual stuff I do - a bit of exercise, nurturing bath once a week, regular skin care. But last week, I also had to make an effort to relax and try to lower my level of stress and blood pressure, thanks to something that happened last Sunday. 

Rant incoming....If you don’t want to read about my bad experience with the police and idiotic government measures, stop now.

Namely, the idiotic government of my country has imposed “measures” which are supposed to be against the spread of Coronavirus but mostly don’t make any sense - they are constantly extending curfew and changing the time of it, and have changed the times when dog owners are allowed to walk their dogs. At one point, it seemed like there was no allowed time for that in the evening or afternoon. You had to listen to the news all the time (and listening to news and the President’s speeches is one of the things that annoys me the most) to figure these things out. And the weekend before last was their first experiment in an extra-long 3 day curfew, which I wasn’t even aware of, when they actually had the police patrol and arrest people for just walking on their own (or, in one case, a young farmer in his tractor - two days after the minister of agriculture said on TV that farmers would be exempt from the curfew - they changed it). So I got manhandled, put in handcuffs and taken to the station for walking my dogs all on my own, with no one else around (which is endangering people and helping the spread of Corona - how exactly??!) where i had to sit for 2 hours while a cop was writing stuff down from the records, and about 60 other cops walked right by me, 10 of whom didn’t have masks, while 3 had but pulled them up/down, then in a police car with 3 other people they picked up - who can’t sit any further than half a meter from you as there’s not enough room, then about 1.5 hours more at the court, with a bunch of other people (and everyone was sitting right next to each other - I was the only one who was like “Nope” and stood a couple of meters away from the others), where they passed the judgment that I have to pay a fine of almost 450 EUR - the amount that’s prescribed for everyone. (And in Serbia, that’s about 1.5 of the minimum wage. I can pay my bills for 3 months from that amount.) Turns out, they arrested some 700-800 people that weekend, so I guess they’re gonna extort a lot of money from the people - if all of them are able to pay it within 15 days (which I doubt. I can withdraw the money from the bank, but I don’t think everyone can). My temperature, pulse and probably blood pressure went up immediately and took an entire week to come down - due to stress, a lot of anger and fear - I had my mask and gloves, but that was still the most close contact and exposure to a lot of other people, much more than I’ve had in weeks. I yelled and ranted and told them that they’re the ones putting others and themselves in danger of contracting Corona, and they probably knew I was right, but it makes no difference -  President Vučić is either an idiot who actually thinks the virus is lurking outside in the air to jump at people, but only during the hours he decides, or, more likely, he doesn’t care, but is a wannabe dictator who likes to act self-important and playact at imposing “strict but necessary measures”.

/end rant. Sorry about that. But that’s why I bought a temperature meter and blood pressure meter, because I was having high temperature, heart palpitations and pressure in my chest, which hasn’t happened to me in a long time (I was also starting to feel PMS, which added to it and didn’t help, but is normally nowhere near as bad when I’m not stressed out) so I needed a lot of self-care last week - which included tranquilizers, but mostly trying my best to relax and feel better. And I’m finally well now and close to how I was before the whole arrest idiocy.

Tagging @jeanie205 @kizo2703 @weareagentsofnothing @turtle-paced @wolfheartgirl @theatre-steph @selflessbellamy @mytly4 @katersann @linzzmorgan100 @immortalpramheda @iishallbelieve @misskittyspuffy @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @angearia @ladyofthefrostfangs - I know some of you have already been tagged, I’m sorry if you’ve already done it but I haven’t seen it, in which case I’look for it on your blog. Sorry to everyone I didn’t tag, too. 

#tagging game #quarantine #quarantine game #sorry for ranting but I had to

[weirddemiwood]

From Fandom to Fandom to Fandom Part 7

Masterlist, Mobile Masterlist

It had been a few weeks since I landed on the grounds of Hogwarts. But of course that couldn't last too long.

The morning was pretty normal, I even remembered the dream I had this morning, which doesn't happen too often. I had dreamt of Sam and Dean and wondered how they were. Breakfast was not as pleasend, Hagrid told me about a creature that can drive you so mad, not even the witches and wizards in St. Mungo could help you. After that I felt sick in the stomach and excused myself. Outside the great hall, a dizziness added to the odd feeling and before I knew it, I was standing in front of a door.

But it wasn't one of those old-time-castle doors. It looked like a normal modern door in my world. I let out a sign of relief, finally I could get out of the long cloaks. Then I remembered Bandit, he was in one of the large pockets of my cloak when I went for breakfast. I put one of my hands against said pocket and felt a little bundle curled up in it, as I waited a few seconds I felt the up and down of his breathing. So he was okay. Good.

Finally, I opened the door in front of me to be greeted with a odd sight. A man with little hair and glasses was sitting in front of Sam and Dean Winchester. He looked to Dean, then to Sam and then to the open door, where I stood. Hearing the door open, the Winchesters turned around. They gave me confused looks.

"Yeeeaaah.....I...I'm sorry I'm late. I had to feed the dog." I said and then took a chair out of the corner of the room and put it next to Dean's. I sat down and waited for something to happen, while happily noticing, that the chair I was sitting on was in facts a revolving chair.

"You were referred to me by a Dr. Babar in Chicago?" the man in front of us asked. "That's right" Sam confirmed. "Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?" the man continued asking. "I don't know. I don't have elephant books." Dean told him. "Look, doctor, I think that the doc was in over his head with this one because my brother's, uh.." he whistled and pointed to his head.

"Okay, fine, thank you, taht's--that's really not necessary. Why don't you tell me how you're feeling, Alex." The doctor said and Sam sighned. So Sam goes by Alex. Good to know. "I'm fine. I mean--Okay, a little depressed, I guess." "All right. Any idea why?" the doctor (who's name I hadn't figured out) asked. "Probably because I started the apocalypse." Ooooh, I remember tis episode. This is going to be awesome.

"The apocalype?""Yeah. That's right." the doctor looked unsure to Dean, who just grinned. "And you think you started it?" "Well yeah, I mean, I killed this demon, Lilith, and I accidentally freed Lucifer from hell. So now he's topside, and we're trying to stop him." Sam explained and Dean rolled his eyes. "Who is?" the doc asked. "Me. Uh, him. And, uh, this one angel." "Oh, you mean like a--? Like an angel on your shoulder?" "No, his name's Castiel. He wears a trench coat."

"See what I mean, doc? The kid's been beating himself up about this for months." Dean said and the doctor seemed relieved to get out of that conversation with 'Alex', till Dean continued "The apocalypse wasn't his fault." the doctor looked up "It's not?" "No. This other demon, Ruby, got him addicted to demon blood. I mean, near the end, he was practically chugging the stuff. My brother's not evil. He was just.......high." Sam nodded, agreeing. "Yeah? So could you fix him up so we can get back to traveling around the country and hunting monsters?" the doctor looked baffled for a moment but then turned to me. "And..you?" he asked, almost too afraid to ask.

I kept myself from grinning, having already planned what to do. "Sure, could you give me a little space?" I asked turning to the boys. They nodded eagerly and pushed their chairs back against the wall, so I could sit directly in front of the doctors desk. "What do you want to know?" I asked him. "Well lets start with some basic questions. What's your name?" "John Smith." "What?" "John Smith. It's a common name." "Okay..." he waited for a second.

"What do you believe in?" "I BELIEVE IN SHERLOCK HOLMES!" I all but yelled. "MORIATY WAS REAL!" the doctor paused and then looked to Sam and Dean, who were, no doubt, looking at me, as if I was crazy.

"So...you don't believe in their angel?" "Of course I do, they run into angels all of the time. They also run into demons all of the time but that's why they have salt." The doctor waited for a second and then hesitantly asked "So you don't believe in the lord?" "Of course I do! The last Time Lord!" and with that I started spinning on my chair trying to imitate the Doctor Who Theme song "DOOO WEEEEE DOOOOO"

The Doctor looked from me, still spinning on my chair, to the brothers and then reached for the phone on his desk. "Elma cancel my lunch."

#supernatural #harry potter #superwholock #crazy #multifandom #fandom

[fyeahjamesandlily]

Her Heart Did Whisper

gift for @prongsno

A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I hope you had a wonderful time, and I hope you enjoy the gift. (Summary: Lily really really really really hates James Potter. It’s too bad she ends up on holiday with him).

Rating: K+/T

Word Count: 8715

-

All Lily wants is a moment of bloody peace. It’s been a day– she spilt a (thankfully cooling) cup of tea down the front of her blouse during breakfast, she walked in on Petunia and Vernon doing something as horrifying as it was unspeakable, she got stuck next to a drunk bloke on the Tube who wanted to break down the results of the Manchester United game in loud and excruciating detail for three stops, she accidentally deleted her carefully curated four-year-old aesthetic blog on Tumblr (they really needed to something about that blasted button), she had hit what felt like a bleak and insurmountable bout of writer’s block on her dissertation, and Mary just texted to say she was running half an hour late….so just, please, peace. It doesn’t seem like a tall order, but it must be because the universe has decided to throw a roadblock at her in the slick-haired pale-faced shape of her former best friend. She sees him at the same time he spots her, making hiding futile, though that doesn’t stop her from trying to slink as low in the leather seat as she possibly can, hoping vainly that her laptop obscures her from view.

It doesn’t work because, well, of course it doesn’t. She’s just considering chucking her peppermint hot chocolate into her face so that she gets unrecognisably burned when she hears a soft: “Is this seat taken?”

“What do you want, Sev?”

To his credit, Severus looks like he’s going to try play it casual for all of three seconds before his thin lips curl petulantly. “I want to talk to you, Lils, we never see each other anymore!”

“You can see me now, can’t you?”

“Lils–”

She glowers, cutting him off. “We don’t see each other because I don’t want us to Sev! I’m trying to avoid you.”

He tugs at the end of his hair, a nervous gesture that would once have moved her to reach out and comfort him, but now just makes her want to go at his oil-slicked mop with a pair of scissors. “I thought you’d just been doing that to punish me. That you wanted me to make an effort to seek you out.”

Lily crosses her arms and straightens. “I’m avoiding you because I want to avoid you. As in, not see you anymore, not interact with you, not share oxygen with you, or do anything else with you, now or ever.”

“Lily, please,” and she once thought this tone of voice plaintive and sweet but now just considers it grating and whining, “I miss you! I want to be friends again!”

She eyes him, and for a second feels a flutter of regret, a pang of longing for the little boy with whom she used lie in fields and pick out shapes in clouds. Just for a second though. “Are you still a Neo-Nazi?”

If it’s possible, Severus Snape’s face curdles so that he bears an even closer resemblance to spoilt milk. “Lily, I told you, it’s not like that. The Death Eatery is just an online community of open-minded individuals–”

“Blatant racism and misogyny is open-minded now? Oh please do continue.”

“It’s not misogyny!”

“Of course! What would I know? I’m just a PMS-ing little harlot who needs to think with my head and not my v–”

“I’m sorry!” Snape has a desperate look in his eyes, wincing as she throws him that scalding reminder of his words to her last summer, “I didn’t mean that! I was just angry!”

“That wasn’t anger Sev, that was flat-out verbal abuse. When you’re angry you call someone a dickhead, or a wanker, or a bellend,” he opens his mouth as though to protest, but Lily’s having none of it “allow me to demonstrate: Get out of my face this minute, Severus Snape, you dickhead-wanker-bellend.”

Her voice is loud enough that people are looking now, and Snape crumbles under external pressure, as well she knew he would.

“I’ll call you,” he promises as he turns to leave.

“I’ll kill you,” she answers flatly.

She heaves a sigh as he finally leaves, hating how knackered the exchange has left her. She knows trying to refocus on her work right after that will be futile, and she thinks she’s earned some sustenance by now. With any luck, Remus is still the barista on shift– he usually comps her a cup of tea or a cappuccino.

There is no such luck. Remus is not the barista on shift.

“Well, hello Red!”

What Lily thinks is: the universe despises me. What she says is: “Hello Sirius.” Her smile is tight, and she hopes, not inspiring of any further conversation. She has nothing really against Sirius per se, but where there’s smoke there’s fire, and where there’s Sirius there’s–

“Oi, Prongs! Look who’s here!”

When she scowls at him, incredulous, Sirius simply grins his wolfish grin. “Apologies Red, but loyalties are loyalties and he’d never forgive me if I let him miss you.”

“I hope you’ll forgive him when I castrate you.”

“Alright, Evans?”

And there it is, there’s the voice that’s almost conditioned Lily, Pavlov-style, to search for the nearest heavy object to fling at people.Peace. It was all she wanted. Just a few blissful, uninterrupted, oh-so-wonderful moments of peace. What she gets instead is James Potter, freckled and beaming as he leans against the doorway to the kitchen, dressed not in the barista uniform that Sirius wears, but in dark jeans and a flannel open over a snugly-fitted white t-shirt. His glasses are perched crookedly as ever on the bridge of his nose, and he pulls that classic James Potter-ism of raking a hand through his unruly black curls so that they look freshly tousled and windswept. She kind of wants to sock him in the face.

“Shouldn’t you be in uniform Potter?” she asks, mostly to stop herself from doing just that.

He chuckles. “Like our men in uniform do we?”

Lily is tempted to lose control then and there. “You really are an insufferable pig!”

James holds his hands up. “Sorry, sorry,” he says, sounding anything but that as Sirius snorts in the background. “I’m not in uniform because I don’t work here, Evans, just hang around.”

“Like a vagrant.”

Sirius doesn’t bother to smother his laughter, and she rounds on him. “Are you going to take my order or not? I already ought to have reported you to the manager.”

Sirius grins, amused. “There’s always next time.”

James is shaking his head, looking all affectionate in a way that just irritates Lily even more– everything about him does really. “You heard the lady, Padfoot, hop to it.”

Sirius gives a mock salute. “What can I get for you today?”

His tone is mocking, but Lily’s increasingly desperate need for a hot festive beverage prevails in this instance. “A large gingerbread latte please.”

“Coming right up. And may I just say, you have lovely manners.”

She sniffed. “I aim to lead by example.”

Sirius shakes his head, still grinning. She wonders that his face doesn’t ache, always beaming like that. “For here or to go?”

“To go.”

James has the gall to look concerned. “Are you sure, Evans? It’s chilly out there.”

“That’s what the hot drink’s for, Potter. Anyway why are you still hovering?”

“Moth to a flame, Evans, moth to a flame.”

It’s probably a good thing that Sirius hasn’t produced her drink as yet, because she has a sneaking suspicion it would have wound up decorating James’s pretty face at this point.

When Sirius does finally hand her the paper cup, she pays hastily and marches for the doorway.

“See you round, Evans!” James calls after her.

She runs into Mary as she turns the corner next to the bookstore. “Lily!” Mary blinks. “Where are you going? I thought we were meeting at Broomsticks!” “We were,” Lily says, grabbing Mary by the arm and tugging her along without breaking her stride, “forty-five minutes ago.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know the Tube line was down for–”

Lily shakes her head, letting go of her friend’s arm when Mary is collected enough to keep up. “Bygones. In other news, we need to find a new café.”

“What, why? I like Broomsticks!”

“And so do all the horsemen of the apocalypse apparently.”

Mary hums. “Potter was there again?”

Lily nods grimly. “Black and Potter, the dynamic duo.” A pause. “And Severus.”

“Oh, bloody hell, what did he want?”

“The usual, a chance to whinge and whine and wheedle for my forgiveness.”

“Did you? Forgive him?”

Lily shakes her head darkly. “He’s still in touch with those internet thugs.”

“Gosh, that horrid Alt-Right reddit page he joined a while back?”

“The very same. And even if he wasn’t…” she swallows, his insults from last summer replaying in her head for the umpteenth time. She shook her head. “I’m done with him.”

Mary rubs her arm comfortingly. “I can’t say I’m too sorry. But I wish you were feeling better.”

“As do I.” She groans. “It’s been a day.”

“Oh, one of those days?” “Those are the ones.” She reaches back to undo her ponytail, combing out the red hair and relishing the biting cool of the wind nipping at her finger as she does it. “I swear, if Vernon and Tuney are still at it by the time I get home I’m done. I’m ferrying to France and never coming back, I’ll become a mime or something. Everyone will leave me alone then.”

Mary laughs. “Well if a getaway is what you want, I might have an easier option. That’s what I wanted to tell you about actually.” “Yeah?”

She nods, eager. “My Aunt Ernesta–” “The one with that dog?” “The one with that dog. Well she runs a B&B up in the Peak District and she called me all flustered yesterday because someone cancelled their bookings for a week from now, which isn’t all that short notice, but it did mean she lost a week’s wages in peak season–ha! Peak. Like Peak D–”

Lily laughed. “I get it. Point please.”

“Right, yes. Anyway, she has this room open a week from now and she calls me and tells me that she can offer a very generous discount to me if I come up and stay because it’s still better than no wage at all and whatnot, but see the thing is I can’t go a week from now, but I hated to disappoint Aunt Ernie, so I told her I could try to find someone else to take the bookings, if she would offer them the discount, and she said yes!”

It’s a testament to their friendship that Lily understands all of this, because Mary spoke mostly in one breath. “How long did you say the bookings were for?”

“Eighteenth night to the twenty-first night.”

“Three days in the Peaks,” Lily muses, and the idea is sorely tempting. “It does sound lovely,” she concedes, “but Mary I’ve got so much to do on my dissertation and–” “Nuh-uh!” Mary claps her hand over Lily’s mouth. “This is exactly why you need to go. She doesn’t even have Wifi or anything up there, just a big bookshelf and a stellar knowledge of the best hiking trails. It might even snow while you’re there, Aunt Ernest said the forecast showed it might– it’ll be wonderful, just a chance to depressurise and unwind, get away from it all.”

The last four words prove Lily’s undoing. A quiet week uninterrupted in the countryside…Peace.

“Alright,” Lily says, and already the excitement starts to mount, “I think I will.”

***

By the time Lily arrives at the little cottage that serves as Ernesta McDonald’s Bread & Breakfast, she’s already halfway into the holiday mindset. There’s a fine drizzle in the air that cloaks the Peaks in a whimsical mist, the sunset sky is tinted lilac, the chill in the air is just this side of festive rather than frigid, and there is honeysuckle growing up-and-down the cottage front. She hefts her bags from the back of the car, and goes into the front of the house, only to be greeted by a small yip-yip-yip sound.

Look, Lily would say she’s a dog person. She’s no expert on them by any stretch of the imagination, but she appreciates pooches in all their fluffy, huggable glory. She loves dogs, really she does. However, the small creature that is quite literally bouncing up-and-down (no, really, the thing is leaping a good three feet with each yip) in front of her scarcely resembles a dog. It looks for all the world like one of those hairless cats, the ones that look like they’ve been turned inside out. It’s scrawny, with fur in scarce patches scrubbed across it’s skin. Not in a pathetic “the poor little thing’s been starved” kind of way either, no, more like it’s fought a lawnmower for fun.

“Hello,” she says, bending to pet it tentatively, because, well she’s not a monster. And the thing, however ugly, is still a dog.

“He likes you!”

Lily turns with a start to see a small, dumpy woman in a floral dress tottering into the room.

“Down, Wilfred. Here, boy!”

The dog–presumably Wilfred– trots happily over to the elderly lady and proceeds to start licking at her moccasins with what appears to be a rather sharp tongue. Lily chides herself for expecting it to be forked.

“Now then, you must be Mary’s friend; I’m her Aunt Ernesta!” A trace of the Scottish lilt that Mary lost when she was little lingers in Aunt Ernesta’s voice, and it makes her sound all warm and matronly.

“Yes, I’m Lily Evans–It’s a pleasure to meet you!”

Aunt Ernesta shakes her hand enthusiastically, and Lily is just about to ask about her room when she’s hit by a blast of cold air from the back, signaling the door has opened.

“Oh look,” Ernesta says, beaming, “that must be your fella, I was wondering where he’d got to!”

Lily blinks. “My…fella?” “Oh yes! Mary said you’d be bringing someone–I don’t let ladies stay here alone you know, it would be so improper!” She scuttles off, singing something about a pot of tea.

Unsure whether to respond to the cheerful sexism or correct the mistake first, Lily turns around slowly, with a mounting sense of dread and.

No. No.

No.

Because standing there in a jauntily rumpled peacoat and scarf, looking as though someone has just thrown him a marvelous surprise party, is James Potter.

The grin spreads across his face slowly and all-consumingly, like a forest fire. “Fancy seeing you here, Evans.”

***

“It’s a coincidence, I swear!” Mary sounds desperate, but also like she’s choking on laughter, which does little to help Lily’s mood.

“You told your Aunt I’d bring a bloke! Why would you do that?”

“Sorry! Aunt Ernesta’s really old-fashioned like that, doesn’t believe in women traveling alone and all that. I told her that to stop her knickers from getting in a twist, that’s all, I didn’t think she’d actually remember!”

“How? How would she not remember?” hisses Lily into the phone, “she made a reservation for two. Two! And now James bloody Potter’s here and she thinks he’s my boyfriend! Tell me you had nothing to do with this!”

“Of course I didn’t! I promise, I had no idea he would be there. I’m really sorry Lils!”

Lily slides down the wall of the cottage, groaning. “Oh God, I swear, if the bastard’s stalking me…”

“I’m sure that’s not it,” Mary reassures her, “it’s just a little mix-up.” Lily catches a low voice in the background, and Mary’s giggle.

“Ooh, is that the mystery boyfriend?” she asks, grinning in spite of herself.

“Oh, shut up,” but Lily can hear the blush in Mary’s voice. Mary has kept her current boyfriend a jealously guarded secret for reasons no one can fathom, but all that means is that Lily, Marlene and Dorcas tease her even more mercilessly than they usually would. “I have to go now!”

Lily groans. “Fine, go, have fun, abandon me to Potter and your archaic Aunt.”

“Play nice, Lily!”

There’s a click as Mary hangs up and for a moment, Lily just stares at the phone in despondent silence. She feels rather than hears Potter appear behind her.

“What are you doing here?” she snaps.

“I have a scientific interest in exactly how long it will take for a human body to freeze into a hunk of ice. You know, Captain America style, preserved.” “It’s not that cold out here! And anyway, you know full well that’s not what I meant.” She glances up to glower at him, he’s leaning against the doorway with his glasses perched crookedly on his nose, because really the bloody things never stay on straight, and when Lily’s not actively wanting to punch him, she’s always tempted to readjust them.

He shrugs, and bloody hell even that seems to smack of that infuriating James Potter smugness. “This is as happy an accident for you as it is for me, Evans. Kismet and all.”

Her eyes narrow. “Oh really? You just happened to show up at the very same very obscure B&B at the very same time I did?”

He grins, and Lily can see that however impossible the situation is, he’s genuinely as surprised as she is. “Like I said–kismet.”

Abruptly, Lily stands, dragging a hand over her face. “Well, come on,” she said, “we better go fix this.”

James sighs, expression sobering a little. “Look, Evans, we can’t tell her, she’ll definitely kick you out then.”

“Me? Why would I get kicked out?–I got here first!” Yes, she knows she sounds petulant, no, she does not care.

He actually looks sheepish. “Look I’d leave immediately if I thought it would help but…” he rubs at the back of his neck in a gesture that seems both very un-James Potter and completely natural all at once, “I’m pretty sure Miss McDonald’s, ah, rule only extends to….girls.” Seeing Lily is incensed, he holds up both hands placatingly. “It’s not like I agree with her or anything, just, she didn’t say anything to me about having to bring a girlfriend when I booked.”

Lily glowers at him, trying her best to somehow tie an old woman’s deeply internalized misogyny back to him. “What are you suggesting Potter?”

He has the gall to look amused, the prick. “You’re a smart girl Evans, I think you know.”

***

“I remember my first Christmas with Rupert,” Ernesta says, wiping at her eyes, “there was snow…we used to take walks in the wood by moonlight.” She waggles her eyebrows. “It was when he proposed you know.”

James chokes on his tea and Lily’s already forced smile warps slightly. “I don’t think we’re quite there yet, Aunt Ernesta.”

“You never know dear,” the lady answers, pouring more tea from a truly ghastly pink porcelain teapot, “Christmas can make one do marvelous things!”

Lily forces herself to swallow back some acerbic remarks about how one is more likely to be murdered by a family member on Christmas than on any other day of the year, but her fingernails cut crescents into her palm from how tightly her fists curl.

James, apparently sensing that his pseudo-girlfriend is about three seconds from right-hooking an OAP in the face, stretches his arms out with an obscenely long, loud yawn. “Thank you for the lovely tea,” he says, all charm, “but I’m knackered. Would you mind showing us the room?”

“Of course dear!” The old lady busies herself with clearing away plates and cups whilst James and Lily hoist themselves up from the sofa and pick up their bags.

Their room is at the end of the rickety upstairs corridor, and Lily doesn’t hear any of Aunt Ernesta’s cheerful explanations about what’s where, because her attention becomes solely focused on one detail she forgot all about.

There’s only one bed. It’s a double bed, but not a large one, but it takes up the bulk of the floorspace. In fact the longer Lily looks at it the more space it seems to occupy. She mumbles a goodnight to Ernesta, before turning slowly, measuredly, to look at James.

She expects him to be looking either oblivious or suggestive, but to her surprise, he seems to be blushing.

“Well,” she says.

“Well.”

“One bed.”

“Two of us.” There’s a pause before James speaks again. “I could take the floor?”

Lily scoffs. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

James arches an eyebrow. “I’m being polite!”

“You’re being patriarchal!”

He splutters. “Ernesta was being patriarchal, that’s why we’re here!”

She scowls. “Are you prepared to behave like an adult?”

He says nothing, but eyes her warily.

“We might as well carry off this charade properly. There’s room in the bed for both of us, so if you don’t try anything funny–”

Potter has the gall to look offended. “I would never do that!”

“Then I suppose we can just. Share.”

“Share?”

She crosses her arms across her chest and nods tightly, before scooping her nightclothes from the bag and sweeping into the bathroom to change. When she re-emerges, James has changed into flannel pajama bottoms and a Puddlemere United football t-shirt. She has no idea why, but she gets the sense that he’s only wearing a shirt for her benefit, but sticking with that line of thoughts seems superbly unhelpful.

They climb into the bed and lie on their backs, covers pulled to their chins.

Lily stares at the ceiling. “Good night, Potter.” She can feel his heat across the bed.

The grin in his voice is almost audible. “Sleep well Evans.”

***

Lily wakes up, to her horror, with her hair splayed across James Potter’s chest, and for one terrifying moment several awful scenarios play through her head before she reorients herself and remembers her situation. The sleeping James, fortunately, seems blissfully oblivious to his status as an animate pillow, still dead to the world with his arms folded behind his head. She extricates herself from him and the sheets carefully, swearing as she rolls out of bed only to be greeted by the bitingly cold air of the bedroom. As per habit, she checks her phone, charging by her bedside. There are about seventy unread messages.

lily im sorry

plz lily where r u

call me

we need to talk

i miss u!!

LILY

ur being unreasonable

“You bloody git,” she hisses.

“I’m sure you’re right,” James says, groggy and sleep-slow, “but what exactly did I do this time?”

Lily shuffles round to glare at him, and is temporarily taken aback by his appearance. He looks rumpled, in the real way, not his usual deliberately styled manner, a little disoriented without his glasses.“Believe it or not, Potter, the world does not revolve around you!”

James sits up, his ridiculous hair stuck out in ridiculous directions. “Really? But I have such natural gravity.” “So do black holes.”

He chuckles. “Touché.”

She huffs a sigh, annoyed at his good humour and the fact that the skin at his collar is flushing…not prettily. Interestingly. “It’s Severus.”

As she suspected, his face clouds instantly and his eyes go hard. “Is he bothering you?”

“Leave it, James, this is nothing to do with your vendetta against Severus.”

“Yeah? And what about my vendetta against slimy racists with terrible hair?”

“Just…leave it.” Lily hates this, hates the reminder that there’s no feasible reason for her to stick up for her former best friend against his long time tormentor anymore. Hates the fact she feels guilty for complaining about Severus to James when he more than deserves it.

James looks sidelong at her, as though he’d considering saying something more in the subject, but apparently thinks the better of it. “Let’s go for a walk Evans.”

“What?”

“A walk. We take in the brisk peaks air and all that. I hear it’s the done thing.”

Lily bristles. “And what makes you think we would be doing anything? I came here alone as you jolly well remember.”

A flicker of something–hurt? but it couldn’t be, not on Potter–flickers across his face but disappears. “Right. Of course.”

“I mean it’s not like you were planning on spending your trip with me either!”

James shakes his head. “Nope. With Sirius.”

That confuses her a moment. “What? Where is your other half?”

He tilts his head to the side eyeing her curiously. “He changed plans a while ago. Wanted to spend the holiday with his new girlfriend.”

Lily’s brow furrows. “Sirius doesn’t have a girlfriend. Does he? Who’s his girlfriend?”

Before James has a chance to respond, her phone pings again.

srsly lily, where r u???

To his credit, Potter doesn’t so much as blink when she flings the phone across the room and onto her suitcase with a muffled shriek.

“I get the feeling you’re just now realising everyone hates Snape.”

She rounds on him, a fraying cord inside her snapping. “I am angry with him because he hurt me and made horrible decisions based on his grossly bigoted beliefs that I’ve recently discovered. You picked on him when you didn’t know him because you’re an arrogant toerag.”

The phone pings again and Lily seriously considers lobbing it out the window and into the gaping valley of the Peak District, and at that moment, she wants nothing more than to get the incessant buzzing of Severus Snape out of her space.

“You still up for a walk Potter?”

He’s put his glasses on, and he’s so taken aback by her question that he knocks them off-kilter, and for a maddening few moments she wants nothing more than to reach out and straighten them.

“You’re not going to push me off a hill are you?”

“I make no promises.”

He grins, as lopsided as his glasses. “I like a challenge.”

***

“You can’t see the air!”

“Yes you can! The leaves are rustling–”

“Because of the wind. And you can’t see that either, you can see the leaves!”

“It’s implicit.”

“The game’s called I Spy, James, not I Imply.”

“You’re a literature student, implication is your bread-and-butter!”

“That’s interpretation. Or inference.”

“Semantics.”

They haven’t made it through a single round of the game without bickering yet, and they’re playing the game because it turns out neither one of them was really cut out for tranquil country walks.

“Aren’t you glad you have me?” James asks, beaming, “you’d have had to talk to the trees otherwise.”

“They’d provide more stimulating conversation,” she quipped, “I bet trees have done some things worth hearing about.”

James, apparently taking this as a signal, gives a whoop and slings himself upwards to hang off the lowest branch of an overhead tree.

A surprised laugh escapes her. “What on earth are you doing Tarzan?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never climbed a tree before!”

She folds her arms. “I’ll have you know I have climbed many trees. What you’re doing James is not climbing. It’s dangling.”

“Dangling?”

“Yes. Climbing is about defying gravity, dangling is about flirting with it.”

James eyebrows disappear behind his hair. “Are you calling me a flirt?”

Lily rolls her eyes and hoists herself onto the branch next to him, then stretched up and clambered onto the next brach. “I’m calling you a terrible climber.”

He laughed, a surprised delighted sound. “Oh yeah?”

James falls off the tree about halfway up and Lily is wearing half its leaves in her hair, jeering in victory at the highest branch by the time he finally clambers up.

“Alright,” he puffs, winded, “I admit you maybe a somewhat faster climber–” “I’m glorious, James, admit it.”

He grins. “Gladly. Glorious. Resplendent. Luminous.”

She shoves at him, suddenly embarrassed, and then almost has a heart attack when he swings backwards so he’s dangling upside down with his legs wrapped around the branch and his head pointing downwards.

“Why the acrobatics?” she demands.

He tilts his head just enough to look at her. “We used to see who could hang off for longest, or who could swing off and land the farthest.”

Lily slips down to a lower branch so she doesn’t have to crane as far to look at him. “By ‘we’ you mean you and your pack of marauders yes?”

He chuckles. “Of course.” He snorts nostalgically. “You know Lupin used to be the best at it?”

“Remus? Really?”

“He’s more flexible than you could believe. He ought to run away and join the circus if you ask me. Still he used to try talk us out of it all the time. I think he got sick of hauling us home with broken limbs and concussions.”

Lily giggled in spite of herself. “I imagine you hooligans got quite a few of those.”

James pulls a ridiculous maneuver which involves flipping almost upright and tugging upwards so that he’s straddling the branch next to her. “You could say that. One time Peter fell off and I tried to grab him.”

“Let me guess–you went down with him?”

He ducks his head, smiling. “Like the Titanic. And the branch flung back so hard it sent Sirius flying to.” He glances up to look at her and he’s actually blushing. “Lupin had to pile the three of us onto a sled and drag us home.”

Lily has to laugh at that, toss her head back and laugh loud enough that the sound bounces around the forest. “Good lord.”

James looks at her carefully. “You have a nice laugh,” he says, and she quiets, stares at him, waiting for the next joke, the crass pickup line. “So how did you learn to climb?” is what he says.

She plays with the ends of her hair. “Tuney and I used to fight like nobody’s business. The only way I could get any peace around the house was to scale a tree. Tuney never liked getting her hands dirty so she never bothered following me up there.”

And then there had been all those afternoons with Severus, their legs hanging off the boughs and their backs pressed against the barks, talking and whiling away the hours in the shade. But she doesn’t mention those because Severus isn’t Severus anymore and James…this is still James Potter. She jumps down abruptly. “We should head back.”

“Um. Sure.”

She sees her glancing at her with a concerned expression, but she ignores it. She stuffs her hands back in her pockets as she starts marching briskly down the path. “Keep up Potter,” she calls when she doesn’t hear him following her.

James opens his mouth, then thinks the better of it and keeps going.

***

The tea is hot and smells of cinnamon, and Lily might have been able to enjoy it had it not been for the fact that she’s distracted by the fact that Aunt Ernesta’s front room looks like Christmas threw up in it. There is a complete Nativity scene of porcelain figures set up in the fireplace, as well as a miniature one on the windowsill and another in the middle of the dining table. A wicker reindeer roughly the size of a St Bernard stands in one corner of the room, a tree laden with six trees worth of ornaments in the other, and white-and-silver streamers hang from the walls.

“This is beautiful,” James says mildly, and Ernesta is effusive as she ushers them to sit on the little love-seat.

“I don’t do Christmas by halves dear, not when there are guest. I know I was late about decorating this year, but I had to do it! It’s your first Christmas together after all!”

Lily smiles indulgently and takes a sip of tea to avoid having to say anything.

“So I’ve already told you about my first Christmas with Rupert,” Ernesta says, reaching across the low coffee table to pat Lily’s hand, “now you two must tell me a little about yourselves. How did you meet?”

She feels James freeze beside her briefly. Impromptu as their charade was, they never actually came up with a backstory for their supposed relationship. “We went to school together,” James says, and Lily supposes being truthful wherever possible is smart.

“Ah,” Ernesta leans back, beaming knowingly, “childhood sweethearts.”

“Hardly,” Lily can’t stop herself. “I couldn’t stand him–” James coughs slightly–“at first.”

“I was a bit of an idiot,” he concedes, “I peacocked and pranced a lot, and impressed just about everyone except her.”

“He tried to ask me out and I told him he’d have better luck with one of the pigeons that hung around are school,” she reminisces, a little amused.

“I was pretty much gone from that point on,” and Lily has to look at him because he sounds warm and fond, but completely sincere, “she didn’t buy into any of my sh-my nonsense. Called me out on all my stupidity. And she’s always sought the best in people,” he goes on, and Lily gets the strange feeling he’s forgotten Ernesta’s even there, “all the people I’d look at as plain or boring she’d look at as…as people. And yeah, I guess that’s what made me love her.”

Lily has to taken another swig of tea quickly, though it doesn’t really help with the fact that her cheeks feel hot. She looks at James but his eyes are fixed determinedly on the porcelain Wise Men in the fireplace.

Ernesta, meanwhile, is in raptures. “And you dear,’ she turns to Lily, “when did you change your mind about the young man?”

Lily’s hand stills halfway between lowering the cup back to the saucer.

James shifts a little in his chair, grinning, and she realises the bastard’s enjoying this.

“It was a more…recent development. For me,” she says. “We um–reconnected? After we both went to different universities. I think once I realised he was more mature than he had been, and that underneath all the preening and prancing he really cares about people, I would say that was when I fell for him.”

She expects James to say something annoying but he doesn’t.

“Well,” she says standing up and draining the last of the tea, “this was, as usual, lovely, but I think I ought to go to bed now.”

James follows quickly. “You’re right. Come on sugarplum,” he says, taking her arm, and she digs her nails into his hand as subtly as she can. They’re halfway out the doorway when Ernesta leaps to her feet clapping with glee.

“Oh would you look at that!” she cries.

Somehow, Lily knows what she’s going to find before she cranes her head slowly upwards to see the cluster of mistletoe suspended above them. She looks at James sharply and his expression is as helpless as hers.

“Don’t be shy, it’s all in the spirit!” Ernesta says.

It’s obvious what has to happen. It would be awkward enough for two random people to refuse to adhere to tradition, and Lily and James are supposed to be a couple. Her eyes meet James’s again, and this time, they both lean in, slow and tentative. His lips are on hers then, warm and gentle, just a quick press of the mouth, and then he’s gone. Lily can still feel the ghost of his warmth against hers.

“Good night,” she splutters to Ernesta, and then hurries down the corridor.

James doesn’t speak the rest of the evening, which confuses her. It’s James Potter, there should be some ribbing or teasing or–something. But no, he barely meets her eyes, and when they crawl into bed, he angles himself away so she can’t see his face.

***

“Potter. Potter. Potter. James! James, get up!”

“Mmph!” James finally stirs under Lily’s poking and rubs his eyes. “Whassamatter?” he asks, garbled, “you alright?”

In lieu of a reply she points out the window, gleeful and waits for him to take in the gleaming blinding whiteness of the snow that blankets the hilly vista.

It seems to hit him at once, and he shivers, pulling the cover up to his chin. “Did you wake me up to look at snow, Evans?”

She rolls her eyes as she starts pulling on a coat and hat. “No, Potter, I woke you up to play in the snow.”

“You could play by yourself you know,” he says.

She doesn’t reply for a moment. “I’ve played by myself in the snow a lot. I reckon it’s more fun with others.”

He groans. “Are you going to repeatedly use your depressing lonely childhood to coerce me into doing things?”

She tuts at him. “I didn’t have a depressing lonely childhood, I had a terrible sister who hated getting her hair wet and refused to play with me, not to mention a best friend who ended up half-dead of pneumonia every time he got caught in a strong gust of wind.” She freezes for a moment when she realises she’s crossed the strings she refuses to cross–complaining about Severus and talking to Potter–but nothing happens. James simply hauls himself out of the bed and half stumbles to the suitcases.

“What?” he says when he sees her watching him. “It’s enough of a sob story to guilt trip me into playing in snow at an ungodly hour of the morning!”

“It’s seven-thirty.” “It’s the holidays!”

Their bickering takes them all the way outside where it of course culminates in Lily lobbing a snowball at his face. She grins as he blinks behind his glasses, which have been knocked askew and are quickly fogging up.

“Don’t start what you can’t finish,” he warns darkly, before scooping up his own handful of snow and hurling it at her. Lily shrieks and tries to dodge it before it lands in her hair, rivulets of melting snow running down the red tresses.

“Oh you’re for it Potter.”

They are both, as it turns out, unabashedly competitive, and waste no time in turning the snowball fight into an all out war.

James abandons the balls completely and ends up more or less tossing fistfuls of snow as far as he can, whilst Lily prefers packing her snow tightly and to the size of melons before getting as close as she can to him and crushing the whole thing into his face. Eventually the snowball fight devolves into some sort of wrestling where James keeps trying to pick Lily up and dump her in a pile of snow and Lily keeps trying to shove the stuff down the back of his shirt. They end up collapsed in a heap on the floor, and Lily laughs till she can’t breathe and her sides hurt.

“I can’t believe,” he says, gasping with laughter as he lies back in the snow, “that you’ve spent years–years–calling me the marauder when you’re a weapon of mass destruction unto yourself.”

“Actually,” she says, “you lot called yourselves Marauders as you well know. And it’s not my fault I’m better at snowball fights than you.”

James snorts and then shimmies away from her slightly. He tilts his head to grin at her. “Snow angels?”

“Of course.”

They spend a good ten minutes waving their arms and legs about until their snow angels are so deep they have to scrabble to stand up again.

“I think that’s the closest you’ve ever come to angelic, James,” she declares as they examine their handiwork.

“I’ll have you know I’m positively saintlike,” he says, and Lily snorts. “Snow puts you in a good mood,” he notes.

“Could you tell?” she laughs.

He flushes a little. “Nah, I just meant…you don’t hate me when it snows.”

Lily blinks. The polite response would be “I never hate you,” but given that she’s spent years professing the exact opposite, that would seem a little insincere. She stares at him and realises that no, the face of her longtime nemesis does not, at this moment, annoy her. If anything, she feels a pang of affection for him, what with his hair mussed and damp and his glasses all frosted.

“You’re not obnoxious when it snows,” she decides, and brushes another bit of snow on his nose.

***

It’s evening when the snow starts to fall in the sky, and at first it’s pretty. James sticks his tongue out to try catch the falling flakes, and Lily laughs as they tangle in his hair, the little white dots spangled across his black curls like stars against the sky. They’re in her hair too, the endless stream of red now peppered with white, and they start singing The Sound of Music when she points out the snow gathers on her nose and eyelashes.

Of course, when the snow starts falling torrentially, it stops being fun and starts being cold and wet. “We..sh-sh-should g-g-g-go b-b-back.” Lily’s chattering so hard it’s nearly impossible to speak.

“Mmhmm.” James nods and crinkles his nose, which is red with cold.

The walk back is long and stiff, their limbs barely moving, all frigid and achy. It’s a relief to burst into the warmth of the room at last, and there’s some commotion as they try divesting themselves of boots and scarves and hats without dripping water everywhere.

“You can shower first,” she tells him, “I’ll have to wash my hair and everything.”

Thankfully, he finishes quickly. “I’m going down to see if I can’t beg Aunt Ernesta for some toast,” he says.

The hot water of the shower is an instant relief, and Lily feels the soreness and coldness ebb out of her with the steam. She bundles herself up in a towel when she’s done and reaches for her nightshirt, and swears when she promptly drops it into a puddle of water on the floor. She picks it up gingerly between two fingers, scowling when she sees it’s soaked through.

The warmth of the shower is quickly beginning to wear away as her eyes dart hurriedly round the bedroom looking desperately for something to wear. She grabs the first t-shirt she spots and tugs it over her head gratefully, and is just starting to towel dry her hair when James walks in.

Or, more precisely, he opens the door and walks promptly into the doorframe before standing there for a moment, rubbing his head and looking slightly dazed. Lily feels the blush creeping up her neck, because the image of James under the door frame brings to mind, unbidden, the memory of their kiss under the mistletoe. The blush intensifies when she glances down and realises what he’s staring at–the shirt she pulled on is his Puddlemere United one, and it’s the only thing she’s wearing now. She is suddenly hyperaware of the fact that the word POTTER is spelled out in red block letters across the back, and she swallows. “Um. Sorry. I dropped my shirt in water and I didn’t have anything else on hand so–”

“No, no, it’s fine,” James shakes himself a little. “It’s fine.”

They stare at each other for a moment before Lily clears her throat. “Well. Good night James.”

“Good night Lily.”

They crawl into bed. Lily tries to sleep, but she can’t get warm. Her legs are speckled with goosebumps, and she shivers a little. She inches, just slightly, towards James, towards the heat emanating off his body. What? Body heat is important! It’s slightly better but still not enough, so again she inches slightly closer, as close as she can without actually intruding on his side of the bed.

Lily had thought James was already asleep, but apparently not, because, much to her mortification, he turns around to look at her, a little sleepy but awake nonetheless. He’s kind of adorable like this, but she doesn’t think about that. “C’mere Evans,” he mumbles, and she freezes for a moment when he drapes an arm around her and nudges her gently so her back is facing him. But he’s warm and she’s tired and he’s soft, and she can tell what he’s going for so she lets him tug her back so she’s pressed against him and his arm around her waist.

Look, it’s for warmth okay? The fact that it’s comfortable is an unexpected perk that means nothing.

She falls asleep in minutes.

***

“I never asked,” Lily says “when are you supposed to leave?”

James swallows his mouthful of toast. “Tomorrow morning. What about you?”

“Same.”

He nods slowly. “I suppose that works out quite well,” his voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper, “be awful suspicious for Ernesta is we took off at separate times.”

“Scandalous.” “Sacrilegious.”

“So,” Lily says, grinning at him, “what are we going to do for the last day?” There seems no point in pretending that this is a separate holiday anymore, and, for reasons she refuses to examine, Lily finds she doesn’t really want to.

James glances out the window. The snow has stopped falling, but it hasn’t started melting yet. “Is it really pathetic. if I say I just want to…” he ducks his head, “I don’t know, hang out?”

Lily hides her smile in her cup of tea. “Maybe. But that’s okay, I can deal with pathetic.”

They end up building a blanket fort in the room like real adults.

“Sirius and I used to make these all the time, when he stayed with us over holidays,” James says.

“Is that where you got your expertise from?” Lily asks, nudging the walls of the fort with her elbow. “This is structurally pretty superb.”

He grins. “Practice makes perfect.”

“So,” she says, “what do we do now?”

James pretends to think hard. “Traditionally,” he says, “I believe we commence with Truth or Dare.”

She snorts. “What are we, twelve?”

“What we are is sitting in a blanket fort, Lily.” He grins and it’s a bright, happy grin, without any edge of smugness or arrogance, and Lily finds she adores it.

“Fine. Truth or Dare?”

“Dare.”

“Take your shirt off and lean out the window for a full minute.”

He raises an eyebrow. “If you wanted my shirt off Evans you only had to ask.”

Lily refuses to blush and just waits. James shrugs and tugs his shirt off, and fine, the view is admittedly far from unpleasant. He saunters over to the window, opens it, and leans out.

“Shit!” he hisses, “It’s freezing!”

Lily cackles. “Time starts now!”

James is almost blue in the face when he crawls back into the fort.

“That was cruel,” he complains.

Lily grins. “Your turn.”

“Truth or Dare?”

“Dare.”

The game goes on for a while before it starts to get intense.

“Truth,” Lily says.

“Why are you…why don’t you act like you hate me anymore?”

The question takes her by surprise. “I guess I don’t,” she says, “hate you. Anymore.”

The look on his face does something to her chest and she has to look away a moment.

“Truth or Dare?” she asks.

“Truth.”

“Why were you such a dick to Sev back in the day?”

He eyes her warily, and she feels a little bad. If there’s one line of conversation that could turn ugly, this is it. “Because I was a dick,” he answers simply, shrugging. “I was a spoilt brat who’d never had anyone say no to him so I did what I wanted. That’s why I started being a dick to him.”

The honesty is unexpected and she’s quiet for a moment. “Oh.”

His expression darkens. “I’d feel worse about it though if he wasn’t–” he cuts himself off abruptly but Lily finishes for him.

“If he wasn’t such a malevolent shitweasel?”

He stares at her before cracking a wry grin. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“Everyone would always ask you know,” she says, sighing, “why I was friends with him. I fought with everyone on it. Mary, Marlene, my parents…everyone.”

He’s quiet, lets her talk.

“I spent years telling everyone he was just misunderstood, putting myself on the line for him, and it turns out I was an idiot.” She hates that her voice is so small.

“You’re not and idiot,” James says, voice low, “don’t you ever think that. An unwavering desire to believe the best in people doesn’t make you an idiot. It makes you…it makes you you.”

She stares at him. “Thanks.”

He shrugs. “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.”

“Why’d you stop hating me?”

His tone is light, teasing, but Lily detects a desperation behind the words. She considers befor answering. “I’ve never…this was…you were real,” she says finally. “Not just prancing around for a show. I don’t know if it’s because you’re by yourself here or what but…you’re just you here.”

He swallows.

“Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.” There seems to be an unspoken agreement that this is the game now, an unfettered excuse to learn each other in ways they haven’t before.

“What do you do?” she asks.

The question seems to surprise him. “Huh?”

“Like…your job. What do you do? I have no idea what it is you actually do.”

He blinks. “Oh. Um. I…you know Broomsticks?”

She frowns. “Yeah.”

“I kind of own it.”

“Kind of?”

“I am the owner and manager,” he admits, and looks embarrassed.

“Wait, what? So that’s why you’re always lurking there?”

He grins sheepishly. “You could say that.”

“And…Remus and Sirius and Peter…they work for you?”

His expression sobers. “Well, yeah. Remus needed money. To pay for his postgrad stuff, you know? And he’s too stubborn to just take a loan so…”

“So you built a cafe? So you could pay your friend? Is that what I’m hearing?”

He blushes. “I mean it’s not like a massive amount I pay him or anything, and he works hard so it’s not freebies or…” he tails off when he sees Lily’s still staring at him.

She can’t help it them, it seems almost inevitable. She surges forward and kisses him, properly this time. He makes a surprised noise against her mouth, but recovers almost instantly, carding his hand through her hair and pulling her into his lap. Her arms wind around his neck and she is, in that moment, completely and breathlessly happy just surrounded by the scent and the feel and the everything of James Potter.

When they pull away at last it’s because she’s smiling too hard for him to kiss her properly.

“Hi,” she says, biting on her lip.

“Hi.” He pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Did you…was that…are you…”

She grins and bumps her nose against his. “In case you hadn’t figured it out, I like you.”

“You spent years hating me!”

“You spent years being a prick.”

“But…it’s been three days!”

“You were good for three days.”

He smiles, a smile that spreads slowly across his whole face. “That’s all it took, huh? Three days?”

It’s Lily’s turn to blush.

James just tugs her in again and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Evans?”

“Hmm?”

“It took me three seconds.”

***

“Hello?”

“Red?”

Lily stares at the phone in bewilderment and glances up at James, who’s taking his turn behind the wheel on their drive back–he’d come by train so it just made sense for him to join her in the car. Also, it means they can snog at every red light, which is of course a plus. “Is that Sirius?” she asks.

James nods, lip quirking as though he’s fighting back a smile.

“Sirius,” she says, “why are you answering Mary’s phone?”

“Um…” There’s some shuffling sounds on the other end of the phone, and a murmur of voices. All at once, it clicks.

“Mary MacDonald,” Lily yells, because she knows Mary’s there, “is Sirius Black your secret boyfriend?”

“Er…yes.” Mary’s voice comes through the phone.

“Why on Earth didn’t you tell me?” Lily splutters.

“I didn’t want you freaking out about the fact that I was dating Potter’s best friend!” she cried, “I didn’t want to tell you till it was serious and you’d have to start seeing James around more…”

Lily grins sidelong at James. “I see. And is it serious?”

Mary’s voice is small, but unmistakably happy when she says. “I–I think so…”

“Well then” Lily says, “I suppose I’ll have to be prepared to be seeing a lot more of James then.”

James grins right back at her, and Lily reckons that they can live with that.

#prongsno #jily #jily fanfiction #jss 16

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 26

Last chapter! Wow! Thank you all for sticking through with this fic through all of the ups, downs, and missed uploads lmao. In all seriousness, this fic is special to me because it explores themes of asexuality. Obviously this fic doesn’t even scratch the surface, but it was cathartic, and I think that it could help to expand someone else’s view of the world. In short, I hope this fic was enjoyed by others, not just me. Thanks for reading guys <3

Tags for chapter: so much fluff I can’t breathe, dan baby you’re making me sob :( (in a good way)

Words for chapter: ~2.6 k

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3!)

<-- Previous Chapter Masterpost

~~~~~~~~~~

"Dan, come on."

"No, don't 'Dan come on' me. I didn't come up to London to go to that."

Phil crossed his arms and frowned. He didn't say anything, only fixed Dan with a knowing and disappointed look. Dan folded his arms as well, but he squirmed under Phil's gaze. Sighing, Dan let his arms drop and a hand up to rub at his face.

"Fine. I've thought about it. A lot actually."

"Good. We'll go."

"No, we're not."

"Dan, why wouldn't we?"

"Because Jaime and I haven't talked to each other in literal weeks? Because she probably doesn't want me there? Because the last conversation we had she told me that she 'couldn't do this anymore' and hung up on me? Phil I can keep going—there are a lot more reasons that I can give you if you still don't believe me."

Phil sighed and nodded in acknowledgment.

"Look, I'm not saying that you don't have a reason to not go because you do. You have a lot of reasons. But the thing is, I know you. And I know that you're still hurting over this whole thing, but I also know that you miss your best friend, and that you still love her with your whole heart. I know that whether or not you two make up and start talking again, you'll regret not going to the debut for the rest of your life."

Phil threaded his fingers through Dan's and squeezed.

"Listen, if you really don't want to go, we won't, but I want you to think about it alright? Don't make a decision based on guilt or bitterness." Phil smiled. "And don't worry about trying to find something to wear; you can borrow one of my nice shirts."

Dan couldn't help his small smile.

"You just want to see me in your clothes."

Phil's eyes twinkled, and he fingered the hem of his own jumper that was on Dan's body.

"Maybe," he said before dropping a kiss onto Dan's lips. "Just think about it, alright? That's all I ask."

~~~~~

Phil paid for the cab—Dan was too busy staring slack-jawed at his surroundings.

The theater was huge, and the architecture was rich and luxurious, as well as the people who were mingling in front of the sprawling staircase. The whole building was lit up with sparkling lights, and a gigantic poster was hung about two stories up, advertising the production. On it was Jaime in her costume, right in the middle, smiling mischievously.

"Wow, she really wasn't kidding when she said that the company was rich." Phil said to Dan's left. "Something tells me that she won't have to go back to making coffee after this."

The interior was even more impressive. Marble floors, rich carpets, beautiful plants, and huge, vaulting ceilings. The room was lit up by a series of chandeliers hanging high above their heads that casted the vast room in a warm, yellow light. On the far wall was a series of posters in frames. A large sign told Dan that they were the original productions that the company that owned this theater produced, and each poster was signed by all of the actors, actresses, directors, and crew. With a surge of pride, Dan's eyes fell on the poster of Jaime's play.

There were a few lines to purchase tickets for those who had not pre-ordered, and Dan and Phil only had to wait a few minutes before it was their turn. The prices made Dan's stomach twist, but Phil was already in his wallet, pulling out bills.

"Two tickets please."

"Can I have your names and a phone number please? It is for identification purposes in case the tickets are lost or stolen." The employee asked, taking the money and running up a sale.

"I'm Phil Lester, and this is Dan Howell. My number is-"

"Wait a minute," the man interrupted, something akin to recognition in his eyes. He put the money down immediately and moved some papers around on his desk as if he was looking for something. He frowned.

"Stay here, please."

They watched as he briskly walked to one of the people greeting those who had already purchased their tickets. This employee was wearing a full suit, and if Dan had to guess, this woman was some kind of floor manager. Dan and Phil watched as the two of them had a short conversation before the woman pulled out her phone and tapped a few times. She showed the screen to the man, pointing to something. They both exchanged a few other words and then turned around and made their way through the crowd back to where Dan and Phil were standing. She approached with a smile, but it didn't do much to easy Dan's anxiety over what the hell had just happened.

Just my fucking luck—Jaime probably said something to the crew to keep us from coming.

"Sorry for the wait," she said. At her side, the man cancelled the sale and handed Phil back his money. "Can you please follow me?"

Wary, Dan exchanged a look with Phil, who shrugged and wrapped his hand in Dan's.

"Why not?"

Anxious, but trusting, Dan let Phil lead him in the direction that the woman had started walking. They caught up to her and followed as she led them to the other side of the room. She led them around a well hidden corner that Dan had looked right at but hadn't noticed, and down a hallway. At the end was a burly man. Dan assumed that he was a guard to make sure that no straying guests wandered through the Employee's Only door behind him. However he didn't block their path, but rather stepped aside as soon as he saw the manager. She led them through that door and another before they came to a final door titled Stage Access. Horribly confused, they walked through.

The other side was like another world. It was dimly lit but loud with chatter, and people were rushing around in half of their costumes, props were everywhere, and the stage crew was knee-deep in equipment checks. None of them batted Dan or Phil an eye—they just kept about their business.

Eventually the woman led them down another hallway, but this one had doors up and down both sides. She stopped at one all of the way down the end and knocked sharply twice before turning around to Dan and Phil.

"A member of the crew will make sure that all of the guests are out from behind backstage around fifteen minutes before the production starts, so make sure you are out by then. If you need help finding your way, ask one of the crew to point you in the right direction and they'll help you. Thank you for coming to see our production, I hope you have a wonderful night."

She gave them one last professional smile before turning around and disappearing in the rush of people that were working hard to make sure that everything was ready. The door behind them opened and Dan heard a gasp.

"Dan?"

And holy fuck, that was Jaime-

Dan spun around and there was Jaime, standing in the doorway in half of her costume, he makeup done and her hair up. Their eyes met, and for a handful of heartbeats it seemed that everything had stilled. All Dan could do was stare at her, his breaths short and ragged. Should he hug her? God, he really wanted do, but did she? Would she call for security or something? Had Dan and Phil's names been on that list before he and Jaime's falling out, and had she just forgotten to remove them? God could he fucking hug her, he's missed her so much-

Jaime fisted the front of Dan's shirt and pulled him into her room before latching onto him tightly. She had her arms around Dan's neck and her fingers were clutching tight around Dan's frame as if she was worried that he would try and leave if she let go of him. She buried her face in his chest and the millisecond of shock wore off immediately. Dan brought his arms around her in a hurry and held her tightly. They were both holding one another too hard, but it didn't matter, it didn't matter.

Jaime was blubbering something in Italian, but they were muffled from her speaking to Dan's chest, so he couldn't really make them out. Even if she had been speaking clearly he wasn't sure that he would be able to translate them because Dan was crying himself and he was sure that he wouldn't have been able to concentrate enough to make sense of the other language.

But it didn't matter.

It didn't matter.

"I thought you hated me," Dan whispered, his voice croaky. Jaime shook her hair wildly and pulled away. Her eyes were red and tears were freely falling down her cheeks, but her makeup must have been meant to last the apocalypse because it was just barely smudged.

"I-I could never. Mio Dio, Dan I thought you hated me. I-I kept taking forever to reply and I wasn't paying attention to you, and I could feel the strain on our relationship, and I was so scared that this distance was going to tear us apart, and I couldn't deal with it. And then there was everything with the play and I was so stressed and everything was going wrong, and then I-I hung up on you! I thought that that was the last straw and you were d-done with my shit, so I didn't try and text you again because I wanted to give you space and let you have the choice as to whether or not you want to talk to me again, and I know that none of that is an excuse, but Dio, perché tutto questo è incasinato?" she said, rambling.

Dan laughed the kind of laugh what was sort of hysterical and the kind that you did when everything felt too surreal.

"You're right, how did everything get so messed up? The funny thing—well, really the fucked up thing—is that I wasn't texting you for the same reason. I thought that you would come to me if you wanted me. God, Jaime, we're fucking idiots."

Jaime laughed wetly and buried herself back into Dan's chest. "We really are," she said, muffled. "I'm so sorry, Dan, I'm so sorry. More sorry than you could know." She continued. Dan shook his head, and really, he needed to stop crying, but his tear ducts were uncooperative in that aspect.

"No, no I get it. I'm just as sorry."

"If this happens again we've got to sit down or something because I can't do this a second time. God, Dan, I missed you so much."

Dan nodded, agreeing completely.

"Miscommunication really is a bitch," Dan laughed. His eyes settled on Phil. He was standing off to the side, but he looked happy and proud at their reunion. Jaime seemed to notice him at the same time.

"Get in here, Lester," she said, reaching out to motion him over, "I've missed your stupid face too."

Phil smile was soft, and he easily wrapped his arms around the both of them.

"See Dan," Phil said, and teasing look in his eyes, "I told you we should have come."

~~~~~

Dan and Phil hadn't left by the time that the crew member made their rounds to make sure that all of the guests were out from behind backstage, so Dan found himself getting asked to please leave before he had had his fill on Jaime's attention.

They had a lot of time to catch up on.

After the tears had subsided, they had spent time in Jaime's changing room giving each other the fast version of everything that had happened to one another, and Dan had called his boss to let him know that he wouldn't be coming back for a few more days because suddenly this little vacation was the most important thing in Dan's life because he had Jaime back.

Dan and Jaime had also made plans to sit down and actually talk about everything that had happened between them, and how they had ended up in the situation that they had. It was important to the both of them that something like this never happened again and that they got to hear each other's perspectives and feelings out.

When Dan finally tore himself away from their goodbye hug, he once again had to dry his eyes. These tears were once of happiness though.

He lets Phil guide him through the throngs of people scurrying this way and that backstage. The whole encounter left Dan feeling raw and emotionally squeezed, but he also felt too happy and hopeful for the future than he could try and articulate.

If you had asked him a few hours ago if he thought that he and Jaime would make up, he would have been hard-pressed to say yes. And they had a long way to go to repair the damage between them, but Dan could feel in his heart that they would make it through this. They would.

Maybe the impossible wasn't as improbable as it seemed.

Dan's hand that wasn't laced through Phil's was buried in his pocket, and the back of one of his knuckles brushed against something hard and smooth that he had forgotten was even there in the recent excitement. Dan's ace ring.

A few thoughts rushed through his consciousness, but he brushed most of them to the side. Not listening to his gut and letting his anxieties get ahold of him had helped Dan get into the situation that he had with Jaime.

It was time that he stopped letting the voices in his head control his life.

It was time that he stopped staying still.

It was time for him to start moving forward.

Dan gently used their linked hands to pull Phil to a stop. They were right in front of the door that would lead them out from backstage, and Phil had his hand on the doorknob. He looked at Dan curiously, but Dan didn't really pay him any mind.

In his pocket, Dan's fingers fidgeted with the ring. A few months ago, he was still dealing with internalized aphobia. A few weeks ago, he was trying to muster the courage to wear it around Phil, one of the only people who had accepted him fully.

David had told Dan to follow what he thought was right. Mary had told Dan to not be afraid of change and to remember that he had the strength to move forward with his life.

There were so many things in Dan's future that he was anxious about. He was worried about not being able to land a job in London. He was worried about—as unrealistically as it was—something happening between him and Phil. He was worried about his relationship with Jaime, about finding a therapist in London that he liked, about moving, and hell, about so much more.

But he had Phil. And Jaime, and David was only a text away. Dan could always take a train to visit Mary. He had all of these people that cared about him, and that was enough for him. Dan was done with being scared of what could happen.

Weeks ago, Dan had worn his ace ring on his finger in public on his way to his Gina's office, but he had kept his hand in his pocket. This time, as soon as the ring was settled against his skin, Dan pulled his hand from his pocket and out into the world.

He was done hiding.

Phil smiled widely and pressed a kiss to Dan's lips. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. Phil pulled the backstage door open, and Dan stepped through, his ace ring glinting like a diamond in the light.

#its the last chapter and im emotional #how about that ending yall #my fics #allyssaTM #I dare you to stay #i dare you to stay: chapter 26 #idyts #dan howell #phil lester #ace!dan #chaptered #fluff #phan #phanfiction #phanfic #im gonna miss this fic ngl #au

[veervr-blog]

VeeR VR: Are VR Games Worth Buying Yet

If you were to ask a random person about Virtual Reality (VR), the first thought they’d have in mind is probably games. VR is particularly suited for gaming because of its power of immersion. In a way, no art can better utilize the potential of virtual reality than Gaming itself (yes, Gaming is an interactive art) – an experience that’s meant to be both immersive and interactive.

Looking at the greater picture, the whole VR gaming industry is, very much, at an early stage. We see loads of games on PSVR, OCULUS, and VIVE (hundreds, big or small). But as Ian Birnbaum from Motherboard put it over a year ago, “buying a new headset is a decision that should be justified by great content, which isn’t really here yet.” Frankly, most VR games are interesting developer experimentations… but errr (how do I put it elegantly)… disappointing consumer products. Sometimes, controls aren’t great, other times graphics are horrible, and worst case scenario, people just get bored from playing them after messing around for 20 minutes, thinking “well, that was enough of VR gaming.”

After investing hundreds of dollars on a VR headset, customers expect a completely new sort of experience made possible only by virtual reality. Plain and simple, but a hard measure to reach. It’s very promising, though – as of December 2017, we have many cases where the games have really stood out because of their VR capabilities.

Here, we break down (VR) games into six notable categories with selected examples. And I really mean to ask you guys this question –

Are VR headsets backed with enough interesting games to be worthy of purchase?

I think, from a pure game consumer point of view, these ‘categories’ are also important factors for game developers to consider in designing games. Often games combine elements from multiple categories. Since each factor brings a different experience to the table, what sort of mixed experience are you trying to create? and how should every detail (plot, character, visual, audio, control…) help to realize that?

I. High Sociability

If we assume VR gaming will become a common household activity, which likely will, games that are specifically targeted to fulfill a basic social need certainly has a market. Now, if you are thinking, “Oh! I’ve always liked getting on COD with my buddies,” then you are thinking wrong. There are games that are more fun to play with friends, like COD, but there are games considered fun only because it’s a social game (can you have fun playing King’s Cup, or Hide and Seek by yourself?… well if you still can, you should probably see a psychiatrist).

The main selling point of this kind of game, simply put, is to really just hang out with friends. The environment, character, and objective are there to support the “hanging out.”

Star Trek: Bridge Crew

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=romB8e5nMp8?start=82]

Apart from being a “Star Trek thing,” this game is all about sitting back with a circle of friends. You can follow the objective, sure, OR, why not just mess around and make each other laugh?

Werewolves Within

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxKy2lrGBBQ]

Werewolves Within is based on the old party game Mafia. Instead of meeting up physically, you can just “teleport” into a virtual world together and have a fun game night.

II. ‘Superhero’ Experience

By ‘superhero’ I really mean a badass main character in a reasonably engaging story. And in some cases, you are a known superhero, like the Batman. Superheroes sell as comic books, movies, TV series, and now, VR games. It not old because you can actually become a superhero in VR. It sounds like a simple concept but to make the experience realistic is a big challenge, especially with the locomotion options and control schemes currently available for VR.

Batman Arkham

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRfxn_WjDKE]

Batman Arkman has done a really good job in the details to bring the Batman experience to life – the visuals, sound effects, and just cool things you get to do as the man himself. Wait till you try it to make up your mind about this game because the trailer doesn’t quite deliver the awesomeness.

Another noteworthy game in this category is Arizona Sunshine, not exactly a “superhero,” but you do get to be a cowboy in a zombie apocalypse story.

III. Skill-Based/Competitive Gaming

Some games are better in VR because of the immersion it brings, others are better because a regular PC or console setup cannot achieve or utilize certain skills. Competitive games usually have a rank/stats system installed to help players motivate themselves to get better. PC/console games can try to be as realistic as they can, but certain actions simply can’t be done on those – checking what’s going on to your left but point the gun at an enemy on the right, and peeking around the corner, for instance. These are either natural or calibrated human actions in competitive situations. Sports games, too, fall into this category. When crosshair and line of sight controls are separated (sight by head movement, crosshair with controller), players can multi-task like never before. I genuinely believe that VR will come to establish a competitive gaming culture in the near future, like how CS: GO and League of Legends are to the PC world.

Eve Valkyrie

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bdp-KW83a78]

In this live stream recording, notice how the player can check a certain direction before making a commitment to move. This movement is very much natural and it makes a big difference in action-packed competitive gaming. It’s a true test of player’s skills.

IV. Appeal To Exploration

We have seen plenty of games alike – from the good old Minecraft to massive productions like No Man’s Sky. These games speak to the audience because players get to be excited about the exploration itself. It is not for everyone, I suppose, since these games provide no apparent objective to ‘win’. In the case of VR, players get to be completely immersed in a new world – think ‘Oasis’ from Ready Player One.

Elite Dangerous

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaE16Ldpel4]

This game has been around for a few years, and the VR version has seen a lot of improvements. Comparatively, Elite Dangerous has quite a steep learning curving, inasmuch it throws some people off at a first try if easily discouraged by the ‘complexity’ of it all. But if you like space explorations, this game will not disappoint you after just putting in a little more patience. The graphics and sound effects are simply astonishing. And you have got a whole Universe to explore. Additionally, if you do not mind paying a little extra, HOTAS controller is most definitely worth the investment – it’s a controller that mimics the in-game spaceship controls. See a HOTAS demo here.

V. Horror

There are things you wish to never experience in real life, but the idea of having a try, in VR especially, can be appealing.  Horror game has been more or less a genre of its own since the start: 1) they are usually built for a one time experience, not worrying about replayability. 2) like theater, each moment, scene needs to be well-choreographed. 3) almost exclusively single player. 4) a good horror game employs various psychological trickeries rather than excessively use jump scares. VR can only help to amplify that horrifying experience.

Paranormal Activity

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsna1ChGt0E] As a big fan of P.T.(Silent Hills Playable Teaser) myself, a highly acclaimed horror game that has been canceled, I see many resemblances to P.T. in Paranormal Activity. P.T. is just a brilliant game with hardly any jump scare. With masterful plays of visual and audio effects, it overwhelms players with fears they’ve created in their own head, but not so much to the point you’d want to just quit. In a way, paranormal Activity feels very much like a VR upgrade of P.T.

VI. Experimental

Let’s scratch everything, and create an experience that’s not-of-this-ordinary-world, original, interesting, never seen before, and totally unique. In VR, developers can focus on creating a world based on their own ‘laws of physics.’

Stifled

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6FlnZGWk3M?start=225]

Stifled is a voice-controlled horror game. As the player, you are stranded in a bizarre world where everything’s seen through voice and echo. The intricacy lies in finding a balance between staying hidden from the enemy while having no idea of what’s around you, and taking the risk of attracting unwanted attention to have a better sense of your surroundings.

Are you tempted to buy a headset? I guess it’s your own decision in the end. I will say, however, if you haven’t gotten one, now wouldn’t be a bad time to start looking. Many new games are in development for 2018 release. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im_l8fIvwb4]

Interested in Promoting Your VR Game?

Games or movies, a VR/360° trailer is a powerful way to engage your audience:

The Conjuring 2

This was made to promote the home-entertainment release of Conjuring 2.

VeeR is a free global VR community where many companies have used for marketing/promotion, including Warner Bros. Pictures, Associated Press, CCP Games, LinkedIn, EuroNews, RussiaToday, CNBC, PintaStudios and etc.

originally from VeeR VR Blog: Are VR Games Worth Buying Yet

#vr games #virtualreality #vr video

[melted-wax-wings]

58-100

59.Which day would you gladly re-live? - Probably the day we went to see Bloody Bloody :3

60.What are you awesome at? - I’m pretty good at projecting my voice

61.What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? - Idk I want them to think that I’m funny or at least approachable

62.When were you most afraid? - Probably yesterday tbh

63.What are you terrible at but love to do anyway? - I’d say acting honestly

64.What weapon would you carry during the Zombie Apocalypse? - Probably an ax

65.Which of your five senses would you keep if you could only keep one? - Taste~

66.What’s something you love to make? - I love to make cookies :3

67.What do you cook better than anyone? - I THINK I MAKE PRETTY DAMN GOOD DEVILED EGGS

68.What do you wish you’d invented? - probably some sort of game console

69.What would you like to invent? - shit idk some game i guess?

70.Out of 100 random people, where would you rank yourself in terms of your intelligence? - I’d rate myself pretty average, around 50?

71.Where do you want to be right now? - IN YOUR DORM PLS

72.If you could be someone else for a day who would it be and why? - Probably some celebrity because I want to know what it feels like to have people want to be that involved in my life

73.What makes you feel powerful? - Being on stage/Being in front of a crowd

74.What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said? - probably when i tore into someone and told them that their toxic ass would never compare to me

75.What’s the meanest thing someone has ever said to you? - idk probably the time someone laughed in my face when i was put up to ask them out

76.What three words would you have on your grave stone? - Keep on Laughing

77.What’s your first thought when you wake up? - “I hope that class is cancelled so i can just chill in the dorms”

78.What’s one thing you wake up to in the middle of the night worrying about? - Probably if I forgot to do something 

79.If you could tell someone something anonymously, what would it be? - Probably how much they mean to me

80.Whom would you like to forgive and forget? - I guess maybe the toxic asshole, but my petty ass wouldn’t forget

81.If you could get rid of one of your responsibilities today, what would it be? - DRIVING TO MY HOUSE PLS I JUST WANNA STAY ON CAMPUS

82.What type of person angers you the most? - The type that talks down to others when they have no reason to and the type that pick on weak people

83.What is your greatest strength? -  I’m ambitious

84.What is your worst weakness? - I lack motivation

85.How do you show your love for others? - I’m usually super physically affectionate or I’ll just tell them

86.Why are you here in this room right now? - THERE’S TOO MUCH DAMN SNOW OUTSIDE FOR ME TO BE OUT

87.When is a time you forgave someone or were forgiven for something? - I had said something insensitive and that person was kind enough to forgive me and i made efforts to change my behavior

88.What’s the biggest mistake you ever made? - probably that i hopped into a relationship (with Trevor) that I was not mature enough to be in when I was a freshman in high school

89.What are you hiding? - I’M HIDING YOUR PRESENT FOR LOVE DAY

90.What’s your unanswerable question–the question you seem to always be asking yourself? - If I’m content with myself

91.What are you ashamed of? - I’m ashamed of who I was previously

92.What is stopping you? - Fear of my family

93.What’s a secret you have? - It wouldn’t be a secret if i told ;3

94.How do you secretly manipulate people to get your way? - I employ something I call “DST (DICK SUCKIN TECHNIQUE)” basically, i compliment people to the point where i’m practically suckin their dick and usually that gets them in my corner

95.When was the last time you apologized? - PROBABLY TONIGHT BECAUSE I APOLOGIZE FOR EVERYTHING

96.What is the biggest lie you tell yourself? - that i’ll actually make efforts to make change ;3;

97.What’s the moment you left childhood behind? - I honestly don’t think I have. I feel like childhood is kind of ingrained in me and is a core part of who i am

98.What’s missing from your life? - a way for me to make money doing what i love

99.Do you believe in a higher power? - eh, debatable

100.What are you ready to let go of? - I guess I’m ready to let go of some of the negativity in my life

#shut up saint #shadow #ask meme #maskedcowboy