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#weve never had anything in common alright
ranvwoop · 3 years
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I have Incredibly Unrealistic Realistic fantasies
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Joe & Ronnie
Joe: Hey
Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in
Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?
Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it
Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself
Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes
Joe: I see that
Joe: your accent down the 📞?
Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour
Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way
Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands
Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing
Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones
Joe: i’ll keep that in mind
Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie
Joe: not actual escorting
Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model
Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that
Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one
Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already
Joe: I just did
Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌
Ronnie: sexist not to ask me
Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf
Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie
Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well
Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you
Ronnie: you wish
Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you
Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me
Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure
Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole
Joe: cheers
Joe: take 20% commission or whatever
Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this
Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig
Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of
Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah
Joe: you wanna do it?
Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention
Joe: not what it is so no
Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you
Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me
Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?
Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it
Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so
Joe: she’d be really let down
Ronnie: usually what gets you off
Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like
Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special
Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best
Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower
Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔
Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about
Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her
Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright
Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right
Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have
Ronnie: i dont dream 💔
Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you
Joe: or anyone, really
Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping
Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake
Ronnie: what you cant read me
Joe: clearly not
Joe: dashed your modelling dreams
Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you
Joe: is that sympathy?
Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time
Ronnie: again you wish
Ronnie: 💭💉
Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz
Joe: maybe I do
Joe: far as 💭s go
Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont
Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her
Joe: not tried it
Joe: but not a no
Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her
Joe: that is a no, tah
Ronnie: tell her not me baby
Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?
Joe: gutted
Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us
Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then
Joe: make a change for me
Ronnie: hot
Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up
Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he
Ronnie: &
Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam
Ronnie: not oi ing you
Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair
Ronnie: life aint soft lad
Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you
Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there
Joe: purely here for the homophobia
Ronnie: your kinks match 💘
Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks
Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘
Joe: the sisterly thing
Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth
Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt
Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira
Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers
Joe: lucky girl
Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you
Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you
Joe: i fit less than you, by far
Ronnie: fuck off
Joe: sorry
Joe: it’s weird, say the least
Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont
Joe: ditto
Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though
Ronnie: no
Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common
Joe: just the same mother
Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times
Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word
Joe: incubator then
Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down
Joe: worse if she did, the state of
Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you
Ronnie: were not the fucking same
Joe: you reckon
Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it
Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?
Joe: woah, just say you love me
Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us
Joe: hot
Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty
Joe: uni ain’t that interesting
Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round
Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna
Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?
Joe: fair enough
Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done
Joe: nah
Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative
Ronnie: i dont want a narrative
Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker
Ronnie: in your dreams
Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual
Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like
Joe: Static is my kink
Joe: you know me so well
Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do
Joe: i’m a gentleman
Joe: and i’m taking that review
Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are
Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand
Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class
Joe: let’s do something
Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit
Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get
Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you
Joe: thank god
Joe: so take the risk
Ronnie: of what
Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you
Joe: that’s surely a given
Joe: risk anything but
Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her
Joe: christian grey or superman, like
Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell
Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that
Joe: touche
Joe: come on, what would convince you
Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it
Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see
Ronnie: then the answers nothing
Joe: nah
Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed
Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things
Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then
Joe: the opposite of that
Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah
Joe: nah, I am
Ronnie: like fuck will you
Joe: see, you want to be disappointed
Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it
Joe: if you don’t come and see
Ronnie: come where
Joe: see me
Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go
Joe: fuck sightseeing
Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]
Ronnie: go there
Joe: now?
Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go
Joe: okay
Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t
Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates
Joe: when you’re done being disappointed
Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not
Joe: you’ll see
Joe: I can’t show you over the phone
Ronnie: you could
Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager
Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either
Joe: pictures not doing no favours
Joe: if you’re there and i’m there
Ronnie: big if
Joe: I never know where to be
Ronnie: newborn i heard you
Joe: something like that
Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺
Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour
Joe: true
Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though
Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead
Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size
Joe: she’s a big girl
Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy
Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said
Ronnie: fuck all going for her
Joe: way to get in shape
Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls
Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue
Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her
Ronnie: 🐎
Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath
Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived
Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit
Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad
Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so
Joe: hold on
Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy
Joe: ugh, I wish
Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it
Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out
Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind
Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting
Ronnie: 💔
Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother
Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right
Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?
Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session
Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like
Joe: dangerously close to sharing there
Joe: you got your 💉 already then?
Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had
Ronnie: unlucky you
Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you
Joe: so I’ll cope
Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up
Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah
Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like
Joe: 💔
Joe: validations the last thing i need
Joe: had a whole lifetime
Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need
Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans
Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either
Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it
Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do
Joe: attention seekers anonymous
Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸
Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs
Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway
Ronnie: does it fuck
Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass
Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit
Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit
Joe: it’s not that
Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be
Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck
Ronnie: dont give em the choice
Joe: why?
Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to
Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre
Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try
Ronnie: then dont
Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail
Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep
Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞
Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever
Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common
Joe: just 50% of our DNA
Joe: never said we were twinsies
Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run
Joe: I wish
Joe: has your face healed
Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that
Joe: 😏
Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need
Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend
Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue
Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here
Joe: spoilsport
Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy
Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny
Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking
Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright
Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there
Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas
Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow
Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit
Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story
Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy
Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off
Ronnie: if we re telling stories
Joe: 😂
Joe: where we keep the horse
Joe: that en-suite is massive
Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash
Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked
Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me
Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah
Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with
Ronnie: youre welcome like
Joe: gotta stop being nice to me
Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch
Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕
Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do
Joe: obviously you’re that type
Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍
Joe: you’re inspiring, like
Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite
Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere
Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out
Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆
Joe: have a go at pushing it back in
Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism
Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off
Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]
Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]
Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite
Joe: 🚫🐍
Ronnie: gutted
Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever
Joe: I’ll take you back
Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as
Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help
Joe: you know I meant to Dublin
Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t
Ronnie: fuck you
Joe: I said if you want
Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want
Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials
Joe: you’d need directions
Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent
Joe: can’t say it’s your loss
Ronnie: shut up about it then
Joe: 🤐
Ronnie: 🖕
Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it
Ronnie: sizeist
Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine
Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment
Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe
Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it
Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain
Joe: go on, for your lols
Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch
Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too
Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be
Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too
Joe: if you’re lucky
Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔
Joe: damnit
Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?
Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for
Ronnie: noted
Joe: only the good ones
Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads
Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st
Joe: where were you
Joe: wonder how close it was
Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter
Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending
Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours
Joe: fair enough
Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane
Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah
Ronnie: you didnt say when
Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]
Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces
Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood
Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut
Joe: awh
Joe: message him 🧓🏼
Ronnie: fuck off calling me old
Joe: 😏
Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on
Joe: what mess have you made
Ronnie: havent killed myself yet
Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing
Joe: possibilities are endless still
Ronnie: yeah
Joe: come out
Joe: we can get new ink to dig out
Joe: whatever
Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time
Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way
Ronnie: flashy cunt
Joe: what being a student is all about
Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do
Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺
Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand
Joe: I could
Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby
Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?
Ronnie: nah not that ive heard
Joe: come on
Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads
Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah
Joe: shit i mean
Ronnie: why
Joe: why wouldn’t I
Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it
Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know
Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not
Ronnie: like its nothing
Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago
Joe: then tell me to leave
Joe: like it’s that easy
Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear
Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair
Joe: I never had the choice
Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time
Joe: you’ve always been in my life
Ronnie: and youve never been in mine
Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it
Joe: Alright
Joe: do it then
Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do
Joe: I’m not going unless you say it
Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you
Joe: like fuck it is
Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at
Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is
Joe: lie better
Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like
Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now
Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back
Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending
Joe: I never said I was a good person
Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you
Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out
Joe: Piss off
Ronnie: lie better cunt
Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?
Joe: 👌
Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem
Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done
Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies
Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong
Joe: I like you
Joe: I want you, to get to know you
Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself
Joe: So make me
Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do
Ronnie: fucks sake
Joe: you ain’t saying anything
Joe: what do you want
Ronnie: I dont want you to like me
Ronnie: fuck is that
Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable
Joe: not going to tell no one am I
Ronnie: so hate me soft lad
Joe: I’ll give it a go
Ronnie: ill make you
Joe: give it a go then
Ronnie: where are you then
Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]
Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]
Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]
Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]
Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]
Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]
Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]
Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]
Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]
Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]
Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]
Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]
Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]
Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]
Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]
Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]
Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]
Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]
Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]
Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]
Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]
Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]
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I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this. Have you ever read a fic that, stylistically, it's beautiful, linguistically it's tight, and it's obvious the author poured their whole self into constructing the plot, crafting the world, and nailing down the characterizations, but... You just don't get it? Like, perhaps there's some insight you're missing, and it's almost there, you think maybe you're close to getting what the author is trying to portray, but you just can't make the connection necessary?
(Embarrassed nonny continued) You even reread to make sure you didn’t skip anything, but it’s like it just seems that something missing? Or that you’re the one missing something vital? So you go to the comments to see if anyone else is confused, but all you see are lovely, supportive compliments about how beautiful the story is (and it is), or how heartwrenching it is (usually so). But you seem to be the only one not getting it?
(Embarrassed nonny cont. again) Is it destructive to let the author know that I think a story is beautiful in it’s telling, but that I don’t quite understand it? I don’t want to offend the author, who has clearly worked very hard, and I appreciate them so much. But, I want to understand the story they’re telling, even if I’m the only one not getting it. If that even makes any sense. P.S.- thanks for always taking time to listen to fandom woes and fielding requests. You’re a champion! ❤
Hi Nonny!
First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about! Stories are partly about authorial intent, and partly about reader interpretation; no two people will interpret a story the same, and no author SHOULD expect a reader to interpret their story exactly as the author intended. SHERLOCK is a perfect example of this (the writers SAY they meant it to be one thing and literally the ENTIRE FANDOM is divided on what’s actually being shown on screen), or if you want to be more classical, the works of Shakespeare as well.
In fact, Shakespeare is a perfect example of your problem: I love Shakespeare: it’s beautifully written, it sounds lovely to the ear, and it invokes imagery based on how someone interprets it. But I sure as heck have NO idea what I read until someone explained it to me, or how I SHOULD have interpreted it (which, is oxymoronic to my point, I know…). Only after I hear how someone else interpreted the work, I can then RE-READ a work and begin to understand what was meant by it, and then develop my own interpretations. 
I’ve read a few fics by a couple authors in this fandom where I LOVED their writing, but I had NO idea what was happening until I re-read the fics… it’s a reading comprehension thing with me, I’m sure (my brain tends to move a bit quicker than I can read and talk, and in turn it also tends to wander when my eyes aren’t going fast enough, LOL), but a lot of times, if I just read a fic a second time I can then grasp the words my brain omitted the first time and then really enjoy and love the fic. I hate that about me, but that’s how my brain works… Perhaps it may be the same with your brain? If a fic is well written and you enjoyed it but just had some comprehension issues, perhaps a second read-through will help you as it has done with me :)
So, now to answer your question: if after reading a fic, and you don’t understand it, is it okay to ask the authorial intent of the story? Unfortunately, there is no yes-or-no answer to this question, Lovely, as every author is different. Personally – and this is just for me speaking, and what I would do or what I would not mind if I were the author – I think it’s alright, so long as you are respectful to them! Dig around their user pages and you can often find ways to interact with the author outside of their fics, or information about whether or not they want to read criticism etc. on their stories. If an author doesn’t want any interaction, they’ll be very clear about it, but most authors have ways to get in touch with them, so to ME that’s a saying “hey, if you have any questions, here’s how to get a hold of me!”. 
If they have a Tumblr with asks turned on, you can even do it like you have done for me here; write exactly what you mentioned, just tweak a few things: Mention how much you love their prose and their storytelling, and you can really feel how much love they put into the story. You found it interesting, though you’re unclear on a few parts. Ask them kindly how they intended for an audience to read it. Many creators appreciate honesty when talking about their works, so just be honest and say that you didn’t understand something and wouldn’t mind a bit of clarification about something. They can’t fault you for not understanding something, and if they do, well… I find that rather ableist, in my opinion: That’s like telling someone with dyslexia to just stop mixing up letters, or someone who’s native language isn’t English to just learn one of the most complex languages in the world with so many structure rules that make no sense half the time…. *shrugs* It’s harsh of me to say, I am sorry about that, writers, but reading comprehension doesn’t come easily for everyone.
ANYWAY, back to my point: An author, so long as you are respectful (and maybe peppering in some compliments and praise never hurts either… a lot of us creative-types have praise kinks) and don’t throw a backhanded compliment (like don’t say: “Your work is so amazing! Though I think you should make it easier for people to understand it, your words are too complex”), they will be more than happy to write out their intent for the story. Let them know it’s YOU who’s not understanding (so, “I have trouble understanding this part” as opposed to “you should make this work easier to read for everyone”… make the onus on YOU). DON’T be demanding (like, don’t say something that can be interpreted as “it’s YOUR responsibility to cater to MY need to understand”), and be patient for a reply.
You can see why this isn’t an easy yes-or-no answer, LOL. 
Essentially, kindness begets kindness, and respect begets respect. And –  this isn’t an attack on you personally with regards to this ask, because I know my audience are adorably shy beans – it might be a show of good faith and intentions to stay off anon when you ask your question; it shows the author that you aren’t being malicious, just simply a smol bean who loves stories and want to learn more about theirs. BUT, it IS okay to stay on-anon if you are shy / worried about not the author but other people interpreting it the wrong way, just make sure you tailor your question to the author in a respectful way that it comes across as respect. Perhaps something like this:
Hi, [author]! I really love your story, [story title]! It’s well-written and I can really tell how much you love this story and how much soul you put into it. I just had a question for you with regards to [name concern here]. [state question here]. I have trouble sometimes with [reading comprehension, English/language, dyslexia, etc.], and I would love to know what your ideas and thought process was for [character, plot point, situation, etc.]. Understanding what the author intended really helps me enjoy the stories even more than I already did, and your thoughts would be really helpful for when I re-read your story! Thank you so much for your time, and thank you for blessing us with this beautiful story!
Or something like that, LOL. And if you genuinely aren’t a native-language speaker, let them know that it’s not your first language so you’re just honestly not grasping a colloquialism that’s common in English but not in, say, German. It’s more common than you think! I’ve had people ask me in private before about a phrase I’ve written or about how they should interpret a meta of mine; I’ve never taken insult upon it, and in fact I love helping people understand my work so that they can enjoy other peoples’ content in the future. 
As an additional thought I just had, I think a good example of fandom-understanding-authors is, actually, the @johnlockficclub; every couple months or so we read new stories, and then at the end of the story, we ask authors our questions about their intent of the stories, and in turn the author gets an interesting (I hope) insight into how various people interpreted their stories. Even during the live-chats leading up to the author q-and-a, we all see how we each interpreted certain sections of the chapters we read that week, and see various viewpoints we never considered. So I think that is a wonderful way to see authorial intent vs. reader interpretation, and as far as I know, all the authors we’ve “interviewed” loved just getting that kind of feedback for their stories. You should join in on at least the author interviews just to see how they go and give you some ideas on how an author will take feedback. It’s so fascinating to me!
Just a fun little anecdote that oftentimes, it is a positive experience for an author because most of them love to talk about their stories – their stories are their children, and they care deeply for them, because it’s a part of them, and it’s an expression of their love. They WANT you to understand and enjoy their work. It’s a cyclical thing: if you understand their children so you can love them too, then they will love their fanbase and will want to continue to write since they received feedback that was validating to them that they produce work that people enjoy and want to know more about. 
Finally, I’d love for some authors to weigh in on their thoughts about this; would you be offended if someone loved your story but would want your clarification on some things, or want to know how you intended for the audience to perceive it? Please let us know!
Sorry this answer was so long, but I hope it helps!
P.S. Aww, you’re far too kind, Nonny! me. XD
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alicezan-ncgred · 5 years
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Bleeding Red
Preface: I’ve been bitching around the bush of this long enough. So, I’ve been really silent on a bunch of stuff that’s been eating me alive which has made me both inactive and unproductive. I’m going to get straight to the point, starting off with the TL:DR from my post on my main blog. Context: An anon asked me if I was alright because I hadn’t updated in a while.
TL:DR You probably didn’t ask this to hear about all the bad shit of my life so here’s the short of it. No, I’m not doing fine. I will try get next weeks post out on time and I’ll work on making up on the lost posts. Updates will return regularly, ‘ite.
Time for the thick and thin of it.
Insecurity and being shafted: I’m stoic, even at my worst I won’t say anything. I’ll push through regardless of my current condition and since I’ve gone years like this, it’s not hard for me to do. In my real life situation, I’m currently in a place of social isolation. This has lead to a somewhat near reliance on Tumblr to be my social outlet. This present many issues.
The main one is that I’m quite the isolationist. This has only been reinforced by many interactions throughout the entirely of my life. Because of this, I can’t say I’ve ever had anything really more than two friends at a time. While in a way this has helped me express myself so well through writing, it’s come at the cost of social skill. I don’t talk to anyone.
With this kind of issue you could easily imagine that the THREE PEOPLE (four now, but very limited) to ever directly talk ended up in a way shafting me. The first blocked and disconnected with me without warning or reason. At this point we’ve been talking to each for about a month and we hit it off very well and then one day, silence. Never heard from them again. That fucked me up hard when I finally realized what happened.
The second person left during the Tumblr P**n Purge. We were talking about how to contact each other on other platforms and then they stopped responding. I had already given contact to other platforms of which they pinged me in any way. Another person that I trusted massively on here just abandoned me and I’m still hurting from that. Wasn’t fair at all.
Then the third person was someone that I been following for a while. This person is actually the reason that I’ve been putting this off for so long. I don’t want them to see this post but they will. I got an ask from them that ultimately turned out to be misinformation. I said I wasn’t mad but I was. I was so fucking angry about it and I’m still kinda mad, but I didn’t want problems. I still don’t. I just didn’t want them to worry about it. This will come back later.
I try my best to be as inoffensive as possible. The problem with that is that much of the things I believe or enjoy are highly divisive. Hell, even my own identity can be seen as offence. I’m bisexual, non-binary (I’m currently still questioning this. I might actually be gender fluid but in the overall scheme, that’s worse than being non-binary), and nonreligious. I’m in a very religious area so you I’m still “in the closet” about much of this IRL. I though it would better online but with how much people are saying bisexuality doesn’t exist, or that non-binary isn’t a valid gender (or that being gender fluid make you insane and you should be locked up) and all the hate people who say they are this are getting, the very community that’s supposed to accept me, HATES me. I had a bi pride flag icon last year during Pride Month. I never doing that ever again. It was terrible.
I’m trying my best to come out of my shell like I said I would when I made this blog but it seems I’m just crawling further into it. People I think I can trust keep setting me up to fall, people I know in real life won’t ever accept my existence if they knew who I really was, and my own mental health problem and self loathing are eating me alive. But that isn’t the total of it.
Crumbling Pillar: I’ve always ended up in the position where things were thrown onto me. In which no one wanted to do, I was stuck with. Because of this not only do I have a severe distaste being around my family (beyond everything mentioned before hand) but I grew to have a negative out look on everything. This effect is still quite obvious in my writings, especially my poems. Out of the 14 poems on my poem blog @washed-soul​, only one has a happy meaning.
The one happy poem was called dreams. Under a metaphor it talks about how a demon kept me trapped in a dark space. I start to get better and nearly break free before I have a negative relapse back to my old ways. The poems ends with the demon putting a end to itself leaving the nightmare in which it was keeping me in to slowly fade away, letting one crack of light peeking through to become a window to a door until one day I walk free. When writing this poem, I never thought I would find myself rebuilding the nightmare but that’s where I am.
I’m done with holding things together that other people have placed onto me. Because of this, issues have began showing in my private life. Issues that should’ve been solved decades ago are only now being addressed. This change in the status quo of my life has caused many issues in my productive and mood. Between everything else I’m too tired to do anything.
Is that a reason, is that an excuse. No it isn’t but it’s the best thing I got as a reason. I’m doing my damnedest to do the best I can but of course, when it comes to the thing that matter I just fall short. Big fucking whopha my intelligence and capability does me if I can’t use it for anything that means a damn.
Meaningless Triviality: I’m a very emotional person. I’m very strongly bound to my emotions and if everything above hasn’t given it away, my emotions are very negative prone. But it just doesn’t stop there, it goes back into my memories. I can only honestly place 3 happy memories for certain that aren’t either A) a dream or B) me escaping reality through my mind. Besides that, almost all my memories are negative. 
People like to throw around the word Nihilist to describe themselves because today's culture is very, god while I hate to use this word, edgy. For those who don’t know a Nihilist is someone who views the world as being completely  meaningless and reject all religious and moral principles. I very truly struggle with this outlook of life. It’s a daily for me to berate myself saying “just kill yourself” or “I want to die” or just shutting down and crumpling up while say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over again. Hell, I did that while writing this. 
I take things very hard, even the slightest transgression. I’m so used to trying to make things perfect and because people have the image that I’m the smart one, the mature one, the capable one, I’m left with the over hanging expectation of excellence. Almost no room for margin of error or being human. Since I’m the silent type, I put up no challenge and work to meet it. Only time I get any praise for anything too. 
I guess as a little self promotion to my main blog, for those that have read the very first few updates of my main blog @the-truth-behind-redacted, or read Defiance’s character sheet, while The Machine and Defiance are separate character, they both share the name Machine. That in part is a reflect of said above expectation. How ravenous and inhuman it can be all under the guise of something human. Those characters are the two sides to the same coin. 
Remember how I said I try to be un-problematical and how I try to avoid any potential conflict. In the first segment I told on how I lied about my feelings just so another person didn’t have to worry over something that honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t even really a big deal. But I also said how it consumed me in anger. I just don’t want to bother anyone over anything. It’s part of the reason why I am writing this post, as some way of a self enforced rehab program to get better. 
This absolute consumption of negative emotion has pushed me into a non human state before. I hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion and in such a self enforced bubble of actual hatred I became completely apathetic. I felt numb to everything. I watched and heard of terrible things happening to people, and felt nothing. I watched people lives crumble before them leaving them nowhere to go and LAUGHED. “Just another worthless pathetic worm on this rotting carcass of a planet being hit with the hard reality that life doesn’t care for them. What whimsical pathetic bullshit they deluded themselves with to think otherwise.” This isn’t an exaggeration on how I thought, this is what I actually thought. Which brings me too.
The Mandatory Sob Story: Roll your eyes everyone and get the tiny violin. I guess in order for everyone to exactly understand the place I’m coming from when it comes to mental health I’ll have to detail my experiences. I have a long standing history with mental illness. I have professionally diagnosed OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. I take 600 mg of Seroquel a day as well as Amitriptyline when needed. I’m also still currently in therapy to deal with said OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, the visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as Suicidal thoughts, and my Nihilism. There’s a reason to why I’m so god damn familiar with mental illness and treatment plans.  
OCD and Bipolarism run in my family on my fathers side. My Father’s Father had them, my Sister has them, my brother most likely has them (however he refuses to see a doctor because he uses said possible mental illnesses as a get out of jail free card. He doesn’t want to be treated and he has FUCKING ADMITTED IT), my father has them, and I have them. I, however, have the misfortune of having it real bad. I said yes to well over half of all the total symptoms when I was being tested (I don’t remember exact numbers but I remember there being three pages worth of common symptoms) which was very worrying to the doctor. I was currently in an inpatient hospitalization program at the time for both suicidal thoughts and actions, and severe depression. 
On that, my graze in with suicide. Before I went into my first inpatient program I was contemplating suicide. I was sat in front of a mirror with a bottle of over the counter medication. It was an unopened bottle of ibuprofen, 1000 200mg tables. What I planed to do was down the whole bottle with benadryl and die in my sleep. I had the small box of benadryl got from the Kroger pharmacy and a hand full of ibuprofen poured out looking directly into the mirror. My suicide note was sitting on the desk on my room with an online copy on my laptop open.
I sat there for an hour in the dead of midnight complicating my life. I had lost all hope in the world, filled with hatred, anger, pain, and despair. I had no god or after life to look forward too, part way hoping that a Hell existed for me to burn in. I hated myself that much. I was close to taking the first handful before before I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror. In what was in a weird sudden epiphany I realized that I truly did become what I hated but not for any reason I told myself. I became the very bastion of negativity I sought to fight and rid of in what little friends I did have. That was what set off my path to recovery in spite of the medical system. I guess if people care I’ll make a separate post on that. 
Before I move on, I feel I should explain my history with the visual and auditory hallucinations. It should be no surprise that with everything else above, I also had extreme paranoia that led to me having very bad insomnia. Insomnia is, just like most other medical disorders like Depression, Self-harm, Anxiety, OCD,  Bipolarism, is romanticized to hell. Insomnia isn’t having one nights bad sleep where you got 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.
You know what Insomnia is? insomnia is being physical incapable of sleeping despite not sleeping in 2 to 3 day while your body suffers massive agony brought on by this. Muscle spasms and seizing, difficulty breathing, your eyes feeling like fire ants are eating them, and of course visual and auditory hallucinations. Now I already had issues with visual and auditory hallucinations even when I could get sleep regularly but the combined effects of my OCD and Bipolarism made this perfect condition of Insomnia, Anxiety, Paranoia, with the already added in disposition to hallucinations and I felt like I was actually losing my mind. 
My hallucinations presented themselves in three forms. Disassociation of reality, night terrors, or alterations of reality. Disassociation of reality often were complete black out moments. I would lose any perceived connect to reality and enter an episode of my mind. I can’t remember what they actually were but I do remember what it felt like. Cold sweats, anxiety to point where if I didn’t lock up I would vomit, actual physical pain, mind numbing fear, and intense fatigue. 
The second were night terrors often in the form of horrific “things.” I do remember these and most of them were as best as I could describe, forms of things that were vaguely human and formations of industrial machinery. The most vivid one I remember was of a long lengthy apparition that was for the most part human but many locations of it’s impossible physiology were rebar beams and mechanical sockets. It began when I was about to fall asleep and it was next to my window. The thing was making week groaning and gasping sounds before it violently slammed against my window breaking it then letting out a horrific howl that I can’t describe as it tossed itself out followed shorty after with the sound of bones breaking against the dirt. 
Now that might not seem so bad, exspecally with everything that is in horror movies or games now, but keep in mind that was fucking real to me. It was as real as the clicking of the keys of my keyboard as I’m writing this. As real as the chair I’m sitting in and as real as the wall in front of me. As far as my mind was concerned that thing, what ever it was, actually existed. It took me physical touching my window to make sure it wasn’t actually broken and checking outside to see if there wasn’t a body there. This isn’t the type of thing I talk about lightly. 
Finally there is the alteration of reality. This is very simply but it’s something that fucked with me hard. For very little meaning or warning, I would have trouble interpreting the world around me. My hearing and sight would be warped and there wasn’t any real way to tell what I was hearing or seeing was real or not until the episode was over. The way I got through these was the ultimate fake it till you make it. Obviously, very often I failed and this created issue in my schooling. 
Ending Message: I’ve been in a very bad state for a while now and as it is now, no signs of getting better. I also strongly believe my medications are being to fail me which I’ve been telling my doctor and therapist for over a year now but nothing’s been done. Mainly it’s my Depression but insomnia episodes are beginning and my own paranoia been on the rise. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a creepy image or thumbnail without having a very bad episode. 
I’ve managed to eat something today which was nice but my body is cramping hard. And to possible stave of a possible comment, I’m biologically male. Like I said I’m not in the best head space, or living for that matter. If this gets better, only time will tell. 
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Imagine being patricks little sister and the loser club being scared of you. Beverly tries to befriend you but richie isnt happy.
——
Being the little sister of a protective bully was always going to be difficult. Half the kids hated you the other half of kids sucked up to you. Your brother was Patrick Hocksteader, part of henrys crew of dickheads. Ever since he walked you to school on your first day people treated you as his sister not as your own person. People you’d know since you were 5 were now too scared to talk to you let alone be friends with you. The only kids who wanted to be your friend were the kids as bad as Henry who assumed you were as bad as your brother. At first you didnt mind being friends these kids, having crap friends was better than none? But as the year went your dislike for them grew, especially when you saw what they did to the other kids. It took you a whole year to realise it was better to eat lunch alone than with kids who got a kick out of teasing 10 year olds.
Your old “friends” took you leaving as an insult but as you were Patrick’s sister never dared approached you on the subject. The only teased from afar and never up close. All the other kids didnt know what to do. They saw you ditching the group of assholes as a good thing but were still scared of you brother. Seeing it as too much hassle to talk to you all the kids just pretended you didnt exist. You could go days without speaking at school. You’d learn and eat in silence, never speaking to anyone after learning long ago there’s no point in trying to make friends. Patrick ignore this and all his friends banished the rumours you were a loner, leaving you as a pointless person in school.
On your first day back at school after the summer you had science with a new class and a new seatig plan. The teacher sat you next to beverly. Youd know beverly partially, as in you heard a lot about her, mainly from henry, but knew it wasnt true. Your first science assignment in your new seat was to do a project with your partner, which unfortunately for you required talking.
“Hi” she smiled “im Beverly”. “I know…i mean yeah I’ve seen you…I’m y/n”. Beverly grinned at your babbling. You weren’t used to people being nice to you and found it intimidating. You worked hard on the project in class but when the week was up you still hadn’t finished it. You offered to take it home and finish it but beverly said that wasn’t fair and suggested you meet up to finish it. You didn’t want beverly around at yours, henry would be there and well it would t be pretty. Beverly sensed this and asked why didn’t you meet up at the park tomorrow at 12. You agreed and beverly grinned when you said you’d come. “Ill see you there” she smiled patting your arm before she hurried away.
You were ten minutes late to the park and you were very nervous. You weren’t completely sure beverly was going to show. You’d convinced yourself she was just teasing you, she wasn’t really being nice to you, nobody was unless they wanted something from you. You arrived at your agreed spot and looked around. You felt a sinking feeling in your stomach as you couldn’t see her. Embarrassment rushed through you as you felt colour rise into your cheeks. “Y/n”. You turned around and to your surprise beverly marsh stood before you. “Your here” beverly smiled. It took you a while to talk and when you did all you could do was stutter. “Beverly….hi…hi im yeah, sorry im late”. Beverly grinned telling you it didn’t matter.
You were both laid on the floor staring up at the sky. Youd finished the project hours ago but it was such a nice day you both decided to stay for a while. Beverly was so nice to you that you decided she must be a nice person. You were still very cautious of her but came t the conclusion that you liked her. Beverly laughed “i love that book but did you hear about the movie?”. Your turned as you heard people call to beverly, your heart sinking as you saw it was bill and the loser club. They ditched their bikes and stopped when they saw you sat next to her. Bill recovered the fastest “hey bev weve been looking all over for you”. “Ow me and y/n had a science project and then decided to hang out for a bit”. “Ow cool” bill nodded sitting next to beverly. Stan smiled at you sitting down next to bill but thats where the pleasantries ended. The others all sat behind bill and stan, not even near you, richie and eddie sitting the furthest away. The other four seemed to not even want to breathe in your presence and treated the situation as if beverly had befriended a grenade. Stan and bill felt bad and chatted with beverly about random things but made sure to include you. You noticed the looks richie was shooting bill and stan so decided to leave. “Thanks for today beverly but i think im gonna go now”. “Aw really?” Beverly asked “are you sure you cant stay?”. “Ow i don’t wanna intrude” you shrugged. “Your not” stan smiled “were just hanging out”. Richie and eddie threw each other looks and you glanced to them making them go red. “No i really should go”. “Well it was nice meeting you” bill smiled and stan nodded “bye”. The others echoed a bye and you walked away when beverly caught you up. “Hey y/n” she said “it was real fun hanging out with you today”. You smiled “i enjoyed it too”. She grinned “so were going to the lake tomorrow and i wanted to know if you wanted to come with”. “I don’t think your friends would like that very much” you laughed awkwardly. “Ow no stan and bill are cool with it and the others don’t mind really there just boys”. “Its fine really im busy tomorrow” you told her “maybe another time”. “Aw okay but heres my number” she said writing it on your wrist “call me if you want to hang out or anything”.
A few days and you managed to use your compulsive over thinking to convince yourself that beverly was only being nice to you because of your brother and that she didnt really like you. And so you never called her not until your mom brought up the fact you hadn’t been out of the house on weekends for 2 months. Your dad had got 4 free tickets for a fun fair from work and your mom thought it would be a great idea for you to take some friends. You said you would just to please her but had no intention of going. You decided to give them to beverly so rang her. You were so nervous you actually jumped when she picked up the phone. “Hello beverly…its y/n” you said meekly. “Y/n” beverly said happily “ive been wondering if you’d call how are you?”. “Im good erm listen i have some free rickets to a funfair and i wondered if you wanted them”. “Dont you want them?” Beverly asked. “Well…erm i haven’t been in years and just thought you’d like the tickets and could go have fun”. Beverly paused for a moment and then agreed “the funfair would be fun which is why i think you should come”. “But i only have 4 tickets”. “Hey thats cool me and you could go and then bill and Stan said for ages they’ve wanted to go too, wed have so much fun”. You hesitated and beverly could sense your nerves. “Listen i know richie and eddie were dicks the other week but i promise stan and bill arent like that i promise wed have fun”. “Okay” you said kicking yourself. “Really?” Beverly asked “awesome”. You laughed “so when do you wanna go?”.
You and beverly walked to bills house on your way to the funfair. Him and stan were waiting outside and they both greeted you like your brother wasn’t a prick which you appreciated. Stan smiled at you “hey y/n thanks so much for the tickets”. “Yeah its real cool how your dad them for free”. Bill agreed “Ow its nothing” you shrugged and beverly steered you all in the direction of the funfair. Stan and bill were as nice to you as beverly and you found they were nice to talk to. You were soon confident enough to chat to them and you found you had lots in common with them. You were starting to actually look forward to the fun fair until you spotted richie and the others up ahead.
“There you you shitheads are my grandmother walks faster than you”. “Richie?” Stan asked “what the hell are you doing here?”. “Heard you were going to the funfair and me eddie ben and mike thought that sounds like a great idea”. “Ow cool” bill said but beverly and stan looked angry. As you lined up for tickets stan said something to richie who replied “i can do what i want alright”. You used your free tickets and got the four of you in and stood awkwardly by beverly. “so what do you want to do?” She asked “did we say ghost train first?”. “Yeah” stan laughed reluctantly “come on lets get it over with”. “So death drop first yeah?” Richie asked separating bill and Stan from you. “come on bill you’ve got to try it with us, i thought you could come with me and ben”. “And stan you could do with me and mike” eddie finished. Bill stuttered trying to make everyone happy but stan shook his head “nah thats okay you all go together were gonna go this way”. Richie laughed “is someone a chicken”. “No someones pissed because you werent invited but classic Richie you had to show up”. Bill grabbed stan “okay we’ll see you around bye guys”. Richie gave up and let you go glaring until you were out of sight. “Sorry hes such a dick” stan said and you shook your head “hey its okay dont worry about it”. “Yeah lets just forget about them and have fun okay?” Beverly asked and you smiled.
An hour later and you actually having fun. Richie and Eddie kept appearing trying to get Stan and bill to join them but the boys kept refusing. Even after you’d told all three of them they could if they wanted to. Stan was the first to respond and told you he didn’t want you to leave which made you embarrassed. You decided you liked Stan almost as much as beverly and felt comfortable with all of them. You were walking across the grass when all 3 of them stopped and looked behind you. You followed their gaze and saw it landed on Henry. Henry smirked as he saw them and then saw you. You saw him look to your brother and Patrick said something to him. Henry shook his head and Patrick stood up looking angry. Henry went to walk towards you but Patrick grabbed his arm. You could see they were arguing when eventually henry slunk off away from you. Patrick looked up at you and then followed his friend. “Wow” Stan said “your brother made Henry back off”. “Yeah well my brother isn’t always a complete dick”. Beverly smiled “i can see that, it was nice of him”. You looked down awkwardly and bill cut in. “Hey y/n wa…wa…want to go on the bumper ca…ars”. You nodded at him gratefully and walked towards them.
All night patrick managed to control henry and keep him from going near you and the others but the same couldnt be said for richie and the rest. You heard yells come around the back of a rollercoaster and Stan frowned. “That sounds like ben”. A string of curses followed by a grunt told you richie was there too. You ran around to the back and saw your brother and his friends beating richie eddie mike and ben up. Patrick had richie against a wall amd had his knife to his cheek. Patrick had eddie in a headlock and the others two laughed as he went through eddies bag. Ben was on the floor with one of the guys foot his chest and mike was trying to help eddie. Patrick shoved mike on the floor and henry howled with laughter. “You're an asshole you know that?” Richie spat. Henry laughed “you know eye surgery can help you see better, why don’t why try that?” He asked looking at his knife. “Henry stop” you yelled running forward. You yanked his arm away and stepped between him and Richie. “Back off y/n” he said “just walk away”. “No you need to leave these guys alone now!”. “Y/n” Patrick said “just go away okay, these people aren’t your friends”. “So its fine for you to beat them up? No they don’t deserve that its not fair”. “Okay y/n if you don’t move ill beat you up too” henry snarled. “You’re not touching my sister” Patrick yelled. “I will if she doesn’t move”. “If you even try to touch her” Patrick said yanking henry away from you. Henry turned around and looked at him “what?”. “I said you just try to touch her”. “Look i know shes family but shes being a bitch”. “If she says we cant touch them then we cant, were not hurting my sister, got it?”. Henry squared up to Patrick and time seemed to slow down as they stared at one another. Eventually henry sighed “lets get out of here, its lame”. Henry barged Patrick and walked away. Patrick followed him and so did the others. You let out your breath and turned around to Richie. You held out a hand to help him up “you okay?”. “Why did you do that?” He asked after you’d yanked him up. “Because i wanted to” you shrugged. “But you didn’t have to. Nobody asked you to”. “Richie for god sake cant you just be grateful!” Stan spat. “No I’ve been nothing but rude to her all night, i didn’t include you i tried to ruin your night so why would you help me?”. “I might be my brothers sister but that doesn’t mean i like what he does” you frowned. “But still like you could’ve easily have just walked away and let them beat me up after how i acted, i deserved it”. “People always act weird because of my brother” you shrugged “so no offence but if you think how you acted tonight is anything special your wrong”. Richie looked down embarrassed “Well thanks for helping me not get my ass kicked”. “Its okay” you shrugged. “And I’m sorry for being such a dick to you”. You laughed “like i said its nothing major”. “Still though its not right” Richie said awkwardly. “No its not” beverly said “You shouldn’t have to take that”. “Well i know its not great but like what can i do?” You asked “i cant change how people feel about me”. The others didn’t really know how to reply to that and looked down. “No i know you cant, trust me i do” beverly nodded “but you don’t have to go through it alone” she smiled “not anymore”. “What?” You asked. “Yeah” Richie nodded “were not scared of you anymore, i wont act like i did again i promise, you can hang around with us…i mean if you want”. “You don’t have to do this” you frowned. “No y/n” Stan said “we mean it, we like you”. You smiled. Bill nodded “yeah we do” he smiled. You grinned and beverly laughed putting an arm around you “so its decided”. “Welcome to the losers club” Richie announced.
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All Hell Breaks Loose Part One- Part 2
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 2,091
Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, angst, minor character death, blood, you know the usual
Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. If you’re a junkie for this sort of thing, then a tag list is the right thing for you! If you want to be a Queen, I’ll add you to that list too! Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!
AHHHH This season is almost done!!!!! Just ONE more episode left! If you’ve been catching along with this series, this and the next episodes is what I wan to hear your thoughts on!
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“Sam, please tell me you’ve read about that kind of demon before because I haven’t.” You said, stopping when everyone was outside.
“I think that was an Acheri which is a demon that disguises itself as a little girl. However, that doesn’t tell us where we are,” Sam said, looking at everyone. You looked at Andy who wasn’t paying attention.
“Andy, you with us?” You asked.
“Yeah, just wait a second… I’m still working over the fact that demons are real.” He said with a huff. You nodded and Sam took the lead as he walked through the town.
“Sam, why don’t we just leave? I’m sure there’s a road that is kind of near us somewhere.” You said, walking a little in front of him.
“I knew it was a good thing we didn’t kill you,” Jake said with a smile. You rolled your eyes but kept your mouth shut. “I like her idea.”
“That demon might come back. Plus, how can we leave when we don’t know where we are?” Sam said, stopping in front of an old bell tower. On top, a rusty bell was hanging by a wooden structure.
“That’s an old bell.” You said, noticing just how much rust was on there.
“I’ve seen that bell before. I think I know where we are: Cold Oak, South Dakota. It’s a town that was so haunted, every single person fled.” Sam said, looking at everyone.
“Swell. Good to know we’re somewhere so historical.” Ava said, sarcastically.
“Why in the world would that demon or whatever put us here?” Lily asked.
“I’m wondering the same thing.” Sam muttered.
“You know what? It doesn’t matter. Clearly, the only sane thing to do here is get the hell out of Dodge.” Lily said, scoffing.
“Wait, hold on. Lily, the only way out is through miles of woods. Plus, we don’t know if that demon will come back or if there is more of them.” Sam tried to reason with her but she wasn’t having any of it.
“He’s right, Lily, we should stick together.” Jake started to say but Lily interrupted him.
“Don’t say “we”! I’m not part of “we”. I have nothing in common with any of you.” Lily said, backing up a little from the group.
“Okay, look, now I know…”
“No, you don’t know! I accidentally touched my girlfriend.” Lily said, getting emotional. You frowned and bit your lip, feeling bad for her.
“I’m sorry.” You said, breaking the silence, making her look at you.
“Whatever. I feel like I’m in a nightmare, and it just keeps getting worse and worse.”
“And you don’t think we aren’t in one as well? I watched the life go out in my own mother’s eyes because of me. Because I was supposed to be dead instead of her. How do you think I felt? So, don’t think for one second, your life could be worse than ours when you know nothing about me or Sam or even Ava, Jake or Andy. Because you don’t. Now, the best thing is sticking together. Do I make myself clear?” You said, glaring at her. She stared at you, trying to figure out if you were joking but when she decided, she sighed.
“Fine.” She said, crossing her arms. You nodded and walked ahead of the group, the rest of them following you.
“So, in the meantime, we are looking for iron, silver, salt, or any kind of weapon.” Sam instructed.
“Salt is a weapon?” Jake asked.
“Yeah, it is with demons.” You said, making him look at you.
“Well, let’s hope food is a weapon because I am starving.” Andy said. You chuckled but didn’t say anything as you walked into a building to start looking for things. You thought it would be best to start with the building that looked like a café or a diner since salt would hopefully be in here.
You’ve been searching for a while now, partnering up with Sam and Ava since you didn’t trust any of the other people.
“You really think Dean is okay?” Sam asked you.
“I hope. I can’t even imagine what he’s thinking right now or where he is or who he’s with.” You said with a sigh, seeing a knife on the ground. You bent down and picked it up, examining it. You handed it to Sam and he took it, wiping off the dust. You looked over at Ava and frowned when she seemed to be in pain.
“Ava? You alright?” At the mention of her name, Sam looked over at her in confusion.
“Yeah, I don’t know, just a little dizzy.” She said, rubbing the sides of her head.
“Are you sure it’s not some kind of vision?” Sam asked.
“No, it’s more like I would kill for a sandwich right now. I can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” She said with a sigh.
“You guys!” You heard Andy say from outside. “I found something!” You, Ava and Sam rushed outside where Andy and Jake stood. Andy smiled as he held up two bags.
“Salt!” He said with a smile.
“That’s great, Andy. Now we can all… Wait, where’s Lily?” Sam asked, noticing the group had one less person.
“Lily?” Ava called out.
“Lily!!” You yelled but no response was given. It was dead silent but then, out of nowhere, you heard the giggle of a little girl come from nearby. You didn’t want to know what happened but you had to and so the group followed the noise to the old bell.
You gasped in shock when you saw Lily there, hanging by a noose from the bell.
“Oh, my God! Okay, that’s officially— Sam, she’s dead! She’s dead! You said we were chosen for a reason. That is not chosen! That’s killed! Okay, we have to get out of here.” Ava said, freaking out.
“No, Ava, we can’t. She wanted to leave but she was killed for it. I don’t think there are multiple demons here. I think it’s just the one and it’s not going to let us leave.” You said, looking at Sam since he always knew what to do.
“Alright, it’s trying to attack us so we need to gear up for the next attack.” Sam said.
“Gear up? I’m not a solider, I can’t do that.” Ava said, her eyes wide.
“Well, you are now. You kind of don’t have a choice unless you want to die. You see, Sam and I have been doing this all of our lives so it’s best to listen to us.” You said to her, earning a grunt.
“I’ll get her down.” Jake said, already on the job.
“I wish I could call Dean. He’d know what to do.” You said, biting your lip. You got tears at the thought of him scared and alone.
“Wait just a second,” Andy said, realizing something. “I’ve never tried it long-distance before, but do you have anything of Dean’s on you? Like, something he touched?” You looked at Sam and he shook his head. You bit your lip and took off the flannel you were wearing.
“This is his shirt.” You handed the shirt to Andy and he did this thing. He closed his eyes and concentrated really hard, clutching the shirt tightly. He handed it back to you and you immediately put it on, missing the warmth it gave.
“Did it work?” You asked.
“It should have.” Andy said with a shrug.
“Well, then I guess all we can do right now is get ready for the next attack.” You said, noticing that Jake came back to the group.
“So, what else do we need?” Andy asked.
“Iron would be great. I saw some barn have iron bars on machines. That will work.” You said with a shrug, looking at Sam.
“Alright, I’m going to go with Jake and get those bars. Y/N, why don’t you go with Ava and Andy to salt some of those houses.” Sam suggested.
“No, Sam, I’m going with you.” You said, leaving no discussion. He sighed and he nodded, taking you and Jake with him to the barn while Ava and Andy left to the houses. You walked inside the barn and sighed when you saw how much harder it would be to get the bars off.
But that was no problem for Jake since he strolled past you and to the machine, ripping off the iron rods with his bare hands. You and Sam stared at him, stunned.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not Superman or anything. It’s no big deal.” Jake said, shrugging it off.
“Not a big deal? You just ripped that thing off with your bare hands.” You said, lightly scoffing.
“Well, it started when I was in Afghanistan. You know, the headaches were always common but then the accident happened. A guy flipped his vehicle and got pinned underneath. I just lifted the damn thing off him like it weighed nothing. I had no idea what was going on but everyone said it was just my adrenaline.”
“I’m guessing there is more to the story?” You said, taking the rods from him.
“Yeah, I bench-pressed 800 pounds, stone cold calm. I never told anyone, of course.” Jake chuckled.
“Wow. Overwhelming.” You said with a nod. You realized now that he could have killed you if he squeezed hard enough on your throat.
“Listen, I’m sorry about earlier. I was scared and when a demon tells you to do something, you do it. I don’t want to kill you. You seem pretty nice.” Jake apologized. You bit your lip, sensing something off with him but you needed to work together and being suspicious won’t help that.
“I appreciate it.” You said with small smile.
“And look, I appreciate what you and Sam are doing.”
“What are we doing?” You asked.
“Keeping calm. Keeping them calm. Especially considering how freaked to hell you two really are. I’ve been in some deep crap before myself. I know the look.”
“We’ve been doing it a long time so keeping calm is kind of our façade that we manage to uphold.” You said with a dry chuckle. Sam didn’t say anything else and he sighed, gathering the rest of the weapons Jake managed to break off the machines.
You two left the barn and walked to the house that Ava and Andy would be setting up. It was getting pretty dark out and you needed your sleep or else you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly. After lining the areas with salt, everyone sat on something remotely comfortable. Sam was the first one to be out like a light.
“You know, Ava, I don’t know if Sam told you this but there is something you should know about your fiancé.” You said to her, whispering so that you didn’t wake Sam.
“What is it? Is he okay?” She asked, worried for him.
“When we went back to your house to look for you, um, he didn’t make it. I’m sorry.” You said with a sigh. She started crying, upset over the news. She didn’t say anything but went to bed, crying herself to sleep.
You sighed and laid on your makeshift bed, deciding it would be best if you got some sleep like the rest.
“Wakey wakey.” You heard a voice call out. You groaned, opening your eyes a bit. It couldn’t have been morning already, you just went to sleep. When you caught the figure who was calling you, your eyes widened and you scrambled to get up.
“Sam!” You yelled, looking over at am who was still sleeping. You frowned and looked back at the yellow-eyed demon.
“He can’t hear you.” He said with a chuckle.
“What the fuck do you want? Here to kill me, again? Because look how well that turned out for you last time.” You said with an eye roll.
“You know, I could and that would be fun but I don’t have to. One of these other people will, when I’m done with them. You see, only one of you are getting out of this town and it isn’t going to be you.” He said with a sick grin.
“I’m going to fucking kill you.” You growled.
“Yeah, I would love to see you try when you wake up.” He chuckled, taking a seat on an empty table.
“Get out of my head.” You said with a glare.
“See you in hell.” He said with a grin.
The Queens:
@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith​ @mogaruke​ @whit85-blog​ @inlovewithbja​ @spn67-sister​ @kdfrqqg​ @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes​ @roxyspearing​ @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose​ @cobrakai1967​ @essie1876​ @wishedworld​ @crispychrissy​ @laqueus-ludovicus​ @nostalgic-uncertainty​ @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel​ @potterhead1265​ @starswirlblitz​  @untitled39887​ @ta-n-ja​ @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi​ @tahbehonest​ @stay-in--place​ @dreaminofdean @posiemax​ @donnaintx​ @mikey1822​ @alexandriajanae4​  @li-ssu​ @just-another-winchester​ @obsessivecompulsivespn​ @emoryhemsworth​ @newtospnfandom​ @mizzezm​  @goldenolaf25​ @jessikared97​ @wh1sp3r1ng-impala​ @charliebradbury1104​    @queen-of-moons-peace-out-bitches @becs-bunker​ @atc74​ @lemonchapstick​
The Dean Beans:
@akshi8278​ @mega-mrs-dean-winchester​ @winchesterandpie​ @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ @carribear31​ @tacklesackles​ @oreosatmidnight​ @not-naturalfangirl​ @missselinakitty​ @iam-a-cutiepie​  @kristendansmith​ @milo-winchester-4ever​ @jensenackesl​ @codyshany316​ @pheonyxstorm​ @helllonearth​ @juniorhuntersam​ @pouterpufftrain​ @ruprecht0420​ @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @carriemichelle2012​ @aubreystilinski​
Series Rewrite Junkies:
@helllonearth​ @amyisabellal​ @deanwnchstr​ @caseykitten6​ @quixoticcat​ @supernaturalblogging​ @notmoose45​ @crowleysminion​ @mina22​ @tahbehonest​ @hadleymcallister2177 @destielsangels​ @spnhybrid @oreosatmidnight​ @valerieshubin​ ​​ @seninjakitey @flyonlittlewinchester @aubreystilinski​ @rocketqueeens​  @emilygracespellins​ @earthtokace​
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joneswilliam72 · 5 years
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The 405 meets Loud Luxury
Loud Luxury is a Canadian DJ duo consisting of Andrew Fedyk and Joe Depace. The duo met at school and after a studio session realized they both shared similar interests and embarked on making music together. After years of hard work and hustling, it eventually paid off as they put out the track 'Body' and haven’t looked back since.
Just before a show of theirs at the Rebel venue in Toronto, I got a chance to talk with them about meeting one another, the amount of learning and work they needed to do, knowing how to put on shows, and more!
youtube
Okay, so I know you guys grew up in London, can you tell about how you guys met up and I know the first thing was being friends, but how did the music come about?
Joe: Actually, no, we didn’t know each other at all. I was the president of the DJ club at Western University and had thrown the worst meeting, it was supposed to be on campus and I remember a bunch of things messed up for it, so I had it at my house the first night and I remember there was a bunch of guys in a living room and the power went out and I was like alright great, what a start to the year right? And I remember afterwards, Andrew was in the meeting and we met up and I said what do you do? What’s your story? And he said I make music and I had like a studio at my place and we got in the studio and started playing music and just kind of went there basically.
Andrew: Just started making beats together and it kind of just came swinging at school, just doing as many parties as we could together, we got booked for events, formals, anything we could get our hands on, just to get our names out there.
Did you guys have similar music interest at the start?
Andrew: We’ve always had common ground, like loving the same artist. I remember at that time, we both loved AVCII, Calvin Harris, Tiesto, Porter Robinson, so we always got along really well in that respect.
And on that note of Porter Robinson, I researched that you went to a show of his and got inspired, tell me about that?
Andrew: Just in the way he did his visuals, by the flow of the show. Like, in one way or another if you went to one of our shows it’s so different from Porter, but there’s a lot of emotions and like things that we channel that Porter’s show gave us that we need to do and it’s helped us out in terms of designing our shows.
Now people don’t really get a chance to see all the hard work that goes into becoming successful, can you tell me about the early tracks and the trial and error you guys must have gone through?
Joe: We have a graveyard of bootlegs and crappy originals and stuff like that, but they all came from the same place.
Andrew: We were releasing remixes for free on Soundcloud for ages, emailing blogs back when that was the thing to do and just trying to get our name out there that way, but we didn’t really start getting real success until the Spotify and Apple Music days.
And what do you think the learning curve was when you transitioned from Soundcloud to the streaming platforms?
Andrew: Hard at first, because we didn’t understand it. We knew how to use Spotify, but how do you get your music on there? Like what do you do? But we were really persistent about finding out, I think we’ve always had that attitude that when something new comes along, there’s a drive from both of us to master it.
Joe: And Spotify has been really supported of us, Apple as well, they are part of the reason we are where we are.
Now at this point, you guys have a team around you, but again, highlighting the early stages, how did you guys go about understanding the business side of things, beyond the music?
Joe: I mean, we’re both really good at different things and we kind of play to our strengths. I mean that’s why I think it works so well between us because whatever I’m not good at, he figures out and vice versa.
Andrew: There was a lot of stuff, going back to what you’re saying without a team, you know, just to get shows, we’d sell crazy amount of tickets and then I would go and hang out with all these people, spread the word, every party, we were just hustling to do anything we could.
Joe: Always grinding.
Andrew: Just making sure people knew who we were.
And when the first track 'Body' started getting its traction and moving, out of all the early songs you were making, did you see this song being the one?
Andrew: No, but if we had one to pick, we knew that this would be the one to pop.
Joe: This one was always the one we were trying to push for, which is good because it was the one with our team.
Andrew: Like we were all on the same page.
Joe: Like, everyone that was in our camp liked it and wanted to push it, but all the labels, except for Armada didn’t want it, they were all like, we don’t get it, like I've heard it before, so nobody actually understood it, except for Armada.
Andrew: And what mattered is that we were all on the same page about it and we would fight tooth and nail to make sure the song got heard.
And just on that same similar note, in the movie Bohemian Rhapsody the record label didn’t want to go with the song, 'Bohemian Rhapsody', because he didn’t get it.
Andrew: Yeah, that happens all the time. I remember hearing Travis Scott’s 'Sicko Mode' for the first time and everyone was so like it’s so dumb, it switches too many times, you know, but sometimes people don’t really get really good ideas and then they think it’s the greatest thing ever.
Now in terms of going from making the music and performing shows, how were the early shows and understanding how to put on a great show?
Andrew: Hard, nobody cared about us.
Joe: Yeah, it was hard because we weren’t making a lot of music at the time, so it was hard getting noticed, so I would make it a point in getting in with the right people to maybe play for 15 minutes before like 5 other DJ’s and then it was the main DJ.
Andrew: Yeah, and again, just the hardest part is that nobody cared about us, so playing a show where no one really cares about you is the worst feeling.
Joe: Sometimes, we would play in a room with like no people and then people would come in and then it would be busy.
Andrew: But it taught us, how to play in the best possible way.
Now I actually attended the IHeartRadio Music Awards 2018 and you guys passed me on the carpet, being from London, Ontario. How was it being a part of the show?
Joe: Yeah, it was amazing man, I grew up watching it at home and I had never even been to the event before because from London, it’s a mission to get to, so I was always watching it at home and such a cool thing. And I never even knew what it looked like, like Queen Street, I was always curious, so this year, winning an award, it was crazy.
Andrew: Yeah, you see it on TV all the time and just to be there, it’s a completely different feeling, it’s amazing.
And on that note of events, the 2019 Junos will be in London, Ontario. It must be special to have it there?
Joe: Oh man, it’s going to be so amazing. When I found out it was going to be in London, I was so excited because most of the time, some of the places they do it, is a bit far out like Halifax and other places, so to have it in my hometown this year is going to be so cool.
Andrew: It’s a big moment for artists, I remember when Drake first came out and Justin Bieber first came out, they had the duet on the Junos, you know it’s a launchpad for a lot of things, so we’re hoping it can be the same for us, it will be really exciting.
And now back to the IHeartRadio Music Awards, I saw an artist I had interviewed before Anders and I know you guys worked together on the hit single 'Love No More', how did that come about?
Joe: So, I remember last winter, I was at home listening to music on Spotify and I came across Anders and I was like who is this? I hadn’t heard him before, and I was like we have to work with him, like we need to work with him, so luckily enough we had mutual friends and they introduced us and we got into the studio and the energy was there and it worked.
Andrew: And he’s just so talented, he’s got a big year ahead of him, just to get the opportunity to work with him and showcase his talent, it’s an amazing feeling.
Now building off of his huge momentum of a great year, how do you guys see 2019?
Joe: We’re going to be travelling for shows, a crazy amount. In January, we’re going to be going to Australia. We do have a little break, just a vacation we’ve been planning, but after that, we’re basically doing shows and booked up until the end of summer. Then there’s Europe and South America, all over.
Andrew: It’s only bigger and better from here, so we’re just going to keep the good times rolling.
from The 405 http://bit.ly/2VFv8qC
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Ali & Carly
Ali: alright? Carly: yea Ali: you want any water, pain killers? Carly: k to both Ali: can have my headphones too if you can deal with my music taste Carly: you could sing to me tho Ali: i've got the pipes, yeah but not sure anyone else wants me belting over the racket Carly: idc about them Ali: yeah Ali: one of us gotta get home with a spotless record, tho Carly: You can't get in trouble for being loud Carly: Leesha knows that Ali: she just leads a charmed life 🍀 Carly: or 🔮 Ali: Didn't need no crystal ball to see through your plans, soz babe Carly: who does Ali: got further than you had any right Ali: poor woodfield on bog watch 'til dubo now Carly: ha Carly: gave her something to do Carly: but nobodys trying it again like Ali: reckon you're right Ali: no one got that kinda deathwish Carly: trying to kill me w a stare tho Carly: she loves it Ali: hmm Ali: less sure on that Carly: i am Carly: try it tho bitch Carly: feel 🕱 Ali: got until we get back Ali: that's when the real shit begins Ali: what're you gonna do carls Carly: idk idc Carly: theyre gonna do what they want Carly: & not like my ma & da will throw a fit Ali: sure? Ali: shame Ali: hoping your Da would move Drew on Carly: im not 12 now babe Carly: & he isn't a beautiful romany lad Carly: my ma will like the look of him i kno Ali: you're 14 Ali: still got a few more years of compulsorary giving a shit about you left Carly: yea Carly: but its no big Ali: you could get expelled Carly: nah Carly: didnt go anything cuz leesha had to speak up about it Ali: you blame her Carly: nah but its facts Carly: nothing happened Ali: I don't think that's how they see it Carly: k but Carly: idc Carly: forget it Ali: k but HOW Carly: what? Carly: dont worry about it babe k Carly: im not trying to Ali: I know you're trying to avoid a freakout but Ali: fucking hell Ali: why Carly: why what? Carly: whats your problem? Ali: only the same as yours Ali: not enjoying the chaos around us or the chaos waiting at home Carly: nah Carly: but worry about your sister Carly: this is nothing Ali: no it isn't Carly: just chatter Carly: weve heard it all before Ali: you're a we now yeah Carly: ha Carly: everyone on this coach has heard it & said it is what i mean Carly: dont be jealous babe Ali: Why would I be jealous? Carly: im only playing Carly: i kno youre not Ali: Whatever Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: be fun Ali: not feeling it Carly: baby come on Carly: why tho Ali: you actually need to ask? Carly: yea Carly: i havent done anything wrong Ali: it ain't about right or wrong Ali: it's still a mess and i'm over it Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: but ive been a mess since we met & you cba about that before Ali: i didn't say you Ali: the situation Carly: theres no situation Carly: only sex that didnt even happen Ali: forget about it Carly: nah Carly: say what you wanna say Ali: okay, the fact he's fucking ruined this entire trip Ali: Ro had to go home Ali: and Laoise is taking the opportunity to cyberbully her about it as if she's not already fucked up enough from it Ali: and he's not even a little bit sorry that he just wasted the last 3 months of her life with his bullshit Carly: None of that's my bad Carly: be mad at him not me Ali: I am Ali: but I'm mad at you for not giving enough of a shit to not get dragged down in his crap either Carly: hes not dragging me anywhere but the bathroom Ali: bullshit Carly: nah Carly: youre making it something else Carly: its not Ali: the whole bus is slagging on you Ali: half of them wanna fight you Ali: and that's cos of this Ali: its not debateable its facts Carly: and what Carly: when dont they Ali: there was no need Carly: yea there was Ali: no worthwhile one then whatever Carly: worthwhile to me Ali: i really hope so Carly: wouldve been like Ali: i don't need to hear Carly: k Carly: be like that Ali: yeah i will Carly: why do you wanna fight w me? Ali: i don't Ali: you got your priorities i got mine Carly: but youre a priority you kno Ali: its alright Ali: let's leave this drama behind Carly: how tho Carly: youre still gonna be mad Ali: yeah but that is what it is Ali: nothing's going to change Ali: we'll both deal Carly: but Ali: idk Ali: idk what we do, if you think of something lemme know Carly: im sorry Ali: me too Carly: tell me what to do Carly: i wanna make you feel better Ali: I dunno, Carls Ali: its all already done Ali: not just you, all of us Carly: lets do something else Carly: go somewhere else Carly: whatever you want Ali: Oh, that reminds me Ali: Tommy's back, he asked if you wanna go out Carly: is it k w you if i come? Ali: yeah Carly: nah its weird Ali: no it isn't Ali: i don't wanna not see you Ali: fuck that Ali: its just this trip and him Carly: i only did it cuz he said hed hook me up when we got back Carly: i dont want him Ali: its alright Ali: you don't have to explain to me Carly: its not Carly: alright isnt how we feel you kno Ali: as far as this trip goes Ali: i'll take it, babe Carly: i shouldnt have come on it Ali: nah, don't say that Ali: apart from this shit Ali: it was good, right? Carly: but this shit happened cuz im not good Carly: my heads wrecked Ali: no Ali: it didn't Ali: yeah, you went there too but so did Laoise and it coulda been any girl Carly: she didnt fuck him for a hit tho Carly: why i gotta do that Ali: that hit of revenge Ali: worse reason, to be honest Carly: yea Carly: she is the worst we kno Ali: you're not bad Carly: im not an angel like you babe Ali: yeah you is Ali: can't fool me Carly: you cant stop being nice to me Ali: and what bitch Carly: youre meant to be mad Ali: i'm sick of it Ali: its not getting us anywhere so Carly: where you wanna get to baby Ali: better Carly: we'll start tonight Carly: out w your brother Ali: yeah Ali: fucking ray of ☀ that he is Carly: ha Carly: maybe ill find a nice girl at the club tho Carly: then youll be happy Ali: i don't wanna be that bitch about it Ali: just drew, babe, c'mon 😝 Ali: please tell me i ain't that bitch Carly: ha Carly: hes no worse than ronan tho Carly: to your sister k but not to me Ali: yeah and thinking 'bout how hard Ronan sucks made you cry the other day so Ali: 👀 Carly: dont Carly: he took your vs its so sad Carly: i wouldnt let goldie take mine nah Ali: I dunno what the fuck I was thinking Carly: youre too good Carly: you think everyone is Carly: 👼 Ali: nah Ali: I mean, he ain't the 😈 but he was bad enough for my purposes Ali: my stupid ass 🙄 Carly: nah you're too smart Carly: you knew what you were doing like Carly: been there had that fight w my ma Ali: the flashbacks not needed Ali: still got that 📢 in my ear Ali: though, probably gonna lay off a bit now Drew's showed Caleb up for the good boy he is Ali: awks Carly: its my turn Carly: thanks for turning up ma & da turn into his drama Carly: then turn away cuz nothing to see Ali: yours back home rn? Carly: nah but im sure theyll get the summons if the teachers kick off loud enough Ali: shit Ali: they gonna kill ya? Carly: theyll only be mad if their hol gets cut short but like they can go again when the teachers have had a word Carly: dont need a babysitter Ali: yeah, soz we can't come back we got free drinks here 'til next week so Carly: you kno Carly: gotta draw straws for which one shows up & who gets to keep the party going Ali: 1000 on ur dad showing up then Carly: yea Carly: plot twist my nan rocks up like it hasnt been years Carly: carly who bitch Ali: bitch same Ali: missing nan gang Ali: conspiracy, like Carly: i kno where she is but she not trying to kno us Carly: family fights like Carly: boring Ali: gurl, so much in common Ali: let tommo regale you with the fuckery Ali: other peeps drama always be more fun Ali: WELL Carly: hes such a gossipy bitch Carly: ill tell him about all this so he can have fun w Ali: beat u to the reveal honey but Ali: always more scandal I probably saved him from Carly: you been chatting about me Carly: aw Ali: yeah Ali: keep my slagging on the downlow Ali: wise up lads Carly: its k cuz youre creative Carly: its all slut, slag and whore w them Ali: truly Ali: switch it up Carly: drew did skank and he was wasted so its not hard Ali: 🤢 Ali: anything drew is capable of is basal Carly: wtf does that mean tho Carly: he calls me a bitch a lot like boy thats mine and my girl's thing k bye Ali: he talks a lotta shit for such a lil bitch boy himself Ali: yeah, back off Ali: ur not part of the gang Carly: he wants to be on you so bad that id feel bad but cant cuz yea hes a prick Ali: i can't Ali: why bitch Ali: like, i'm nice the rest of the time but like, no nicer to him than any other acquaintance Ali: and rn its clear i lowkey hate Carly: cos youre you Carly: who wouldnt want that Ali: 😽 Ali: always out here hyping me up boo Carly: yea i love you Ali: i love you too bitch Carly: serious tho Carly: im sorry Carly: i hate it when youre mad at me Ali: i swear i was never mad at you Ali: who could be mad at that lil face Ali: right teachers? 🤞 Carly: ha Carly: well they saw me making a seduction face like Carly: my bad Ali: don't act like you didn't love that too lads Carly: you kno Carly: youve seen it its good Ali: willing to write that review Carly: aww Carly: so sweet Carly: id give you top marks too baby Ali: you better 😒 Ali: don't be lying to me or yourself baby 😏 Carly: ha Carly: nah youre the best Carly: no lie Ali: 😳 Carly: so cute Ali: just trying make me have a huge head to drag my cute down Carly: nah you earned those props from me Carly: put a lot of work in Ali: no slacker 💪 Carly: facts Carly: lot of fun Ali: funsized Ali: that's my secret Carly: aw Carly: but were the same size tho Ali: exactly Ali: team pocket rocket Ali: get out giant boys Carly: your boy gotta stay cuz hes not i see you bitch Ali: 😎 Ali: you said yourself, i'm too smart Carly: 🖕 Ali: how tall is my brother Ali: forgot Ali: kick him out of his own partay how rude Carly: shit Carly: sorry boy Ali: can walk on his knees if he wanna hang Carly: or hands Carly: wtf would that make a difference nah Ali: nah babe Ali: that perfect form Ali: twat 😒😂 Carly: im too sober to have thoughts Carly: no scholarship to a fancy school for me Ali: don't be fooled, he only there 'cos he can twerk good 💅 Ali: #bitchmetoothefuck Carly: fuck why you worried about me getting expelled from here if thats what it takes to go there Carly: i got this Ali: you just gon leave me like that Ali: 😞 ok Carly: nah Carly: come w me baby Ali: running away to london Ali: heard worse plans Carly: you kno Carly: be fun Carly: we always have a good time running off together Ali: no lie Ali: maybe we can crash when he goes back early to get settled 'cos he's dramatic like that Ali: lots of fit boys, can't all be gay Carly: are they allowed to fuck Carly: or is it like footballers and shit Ali: Ooh Ali: we'll have to ask Ali: good pickup line, babe Carly: i'll ask your brother if hes getting any Ali: he'll die of embarrassment 💀 Carly: aw Carly: is he a virgin serious Ali: I think so Ali: he won't say obvs, withholding that ☕ so shady Carly: i'll ask Carly: find him a cutie to do the honors Ali: 🙈 Ali: he was feeling sorry for you but he gon' wanna square up now too Carly: yea? Carly: i need the practice if i gotta fight leesha again Ali: 😒 she better stay tf away if she knows what's good Ali: still, he used to being target practice Ali: he quick tho Carly: teach me those ballerina girl moves Carly: never went as a kid Ali: aww baby Ali: i did for the hottest of secs but Carly: bet your ma has pics im hitting her up Ali: yeah, she loves pissing herself @ me, the cow Ali: you can join now, or yoga with me, your fave 😉 Carly: nah Carly: got enough teachers on my case Carly: & bitchy girls Ali: 😱 Ali: i ain't that bad, rude Carly: never you my baby Carly: youre the only one who isnt Ali: bus full of bitches Ali: sounds like a song marlene would write Carly: pitch it to her Carly: or find her in the club Ali: maybe Ali: idk if she's got a girl rn Ali: we shall see Carly: me & her Carly: weird Carly: i'll ask her if shes feeling it Ali: oh lord Ali: can't play with her like a boy tho Ali: wifey'd up before you know it Carly: nah she scares me Carly: im a good wife tho Ali: you is Ali: but you wanna be? Carly: what? Ali: you don't wanna be no wifey Carly: not hers Ali: as long as not his either then we good Carly: ha Ali: 👀 Carly: what you saying w those beautiful eyes boo Ali: i see u and ur lack of a response is what i'm sayin Ali: honeyyyy Carly: dont Carly: i said about him before thats it Ali: i'm just playing Carly: dont Carly: he thinks it too Carly: such a prick Ali: i'm soz baby Ali: he thinks everyone loves him as much as he does Carly: yea Carly: i need to find a new dealer Ali: honey, in this town? done is done Ali: find one tonight Carly: so smart
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