#wf!niall

[floralguccistyles]

thank you thank you @thicksniall for tagging niall in this character ask game! it’ll be fun to get into niall’s headspace.

rules: choose a few favorite photos/aesthetics of your tagged character, answer the questions below from their point of view, and tag some characters/authors you would love to see answer next!

1. how do you display affection? what’s your love language?

I say the love languages are shit. I would say receiving gifts, but backwards? I like giving gifts. but if you truly love someone, it shouldn’t matter what the love language is if you’re showing them you love them everyday. there are a thousand ways to say “I love you.”

2. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I fixate on things. people, places, etc. once they’re in my head, I just can’t get them out (but maybe that’s just the case for one specific person). 

3. what is your ideal saturday morning?

eating bacon sandwiches on the couch with the fairbrough girls, watching a movie. 

4. what is your drink of choice? nonalcoholic? alcoholic?

since I work with the athletes, we all drink a lot of water and gatorade. I’ll drink gin or beer if I’m going for something alcoholic.

5. how competitive are you?

very competitive. it’s how rose and I once almost gave ourselves alcohol poisoning. we bet on who could take more shots and stay coherent. lily capped us at ten.

6. when did you last have sex? feel free to describe if you feel comfortable.

I have sex occasionally, but it doesn’t mean anything. it doesn’t matter who I’m with, my mind just goes back to the girl I’m in love with.

7. what is your idea of a perfect date?

I think if I’m just hanging out with someone, it’s a perfect date. dates don’t need to be fancy to be meaningful.

8. what is your most treasured possession?

the pictures scattered in my room. 

9. would you ever get a tattoo? do you have any?

I wouldn’t, but I admire them on other people.

10. do you believe in love at first sight? have you experienced it?

love at first sight is real. doesn’t matter if you’re seven or seventy. it happens when you least expect it.

#wf #wildflower #wildflower!niall #wf!niall

[watchmegetobsessed]

WILDEST FANTASIES (part 16)

⚫️A/N: THIS IS THE INFINITY WAR OF WF AND THE ENDGAME IS SO CLOSE!!! okay sorry i needed to make this reference lol but it is absolutely true! bc of a sudden idea i have decided to end the story this weekend so i sat down and started writing like crazy and here we are! meaning that part 17 which is the last part of the series as you know, will be posted ON SUNDAY!! and now... enjoy the second to last update of WF!

⚫️PAIRING: Professor!Harry X Reader

⚫️WORD COUNT: 7.3k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

Harry has turned into a teenager again, jumping with excitement every time he gets a new text, huffing and puffing whenever it’s anyone else than you.

Keeping your word, just two days after meeting him you texted him with a few apartments that you thought would be fitting for him. Honestly, Harry would have let you suggest him to check out a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant if it meant he got to talk to you just a tad bit longer in texts.

It was a surprise for Harry when you offered to join him when he checks out some of the apartments, but he would have never rejected. He would be stupid to give up on time to spend with you, that’s all he wants.

Now it’s been three weeks since the two of you had the chat that was supposed to happen three years ago. Better late than never, right? Harry just finished work for the day and he is rushing back home to get ready to check out another apartment with you in an hour. Barging through the front door he finds Niall in the kitchen, on the phone, with a stack of paper laid out in front of him as he hums and nods along to whatever the other person is saying on the other end. Harry waves his way and just disappears in his room to freshen up and change. Seeing you regularly has definitely gotten him out of a bit of a ditch he let himself falling into, he keeps his beard in check, only lets it grow out to be a stubble, he definitely spends more time figuring out what to wear and he’s been even experimenting to take care of his hair other than washing it every few days. You’ve become such a breath-taking woman in the past years, always dressed nicely and taking good care of yourself, he can’t look like a hobo next to you.

It wouldn’t matter though, it’s not like he is dating you, the tiny, evil voice reminds him from time to time, but he makes sure to forget about that tiny detail.

He is standing in front of the mirror, buttoning up his shirt when Niall appears at his door, curiously eyeing his friend.

“I assume you’re not going on a date with an actual woman who you can actually date,” he comments pursing his lips and Harry’s gaze meets his in the mirror.

“We’re checking out another place. Don’t you want me to get out of here so you can have your home back?”

“First of all, I thought we were having fun rooming together!” he gasps dramatically. “Second, I’m happy you’re friends with her and don’t mope around anymore, but it looks like you want more than just friendship while she has a whole ass boyfriend.”

“Thank you for pointing out the obvious,” Harry rolls his eyes. “But I’m fine with just being friends.”

“And what, are you gonna just… be the flower boy at her wedding? The uncle to her future kids? That’s weird.”

“Yeah, and it’s not gonna happen,” Harry frowns, grabbing his phone from the charger. “But what do you want me to do? It’s all I have.”

“I thought you’d fight for her,” he shrugs, leaning against the doorframe.

“I will not get her into trouble. She is in a relationship, I’m here if she… wants to do… anything with me, but I won’t push her to do anything.”

“Yeah, but some flirting wouldn’t hurt.”

“What happened to becoming a better person?” Harry huffs, swinging his bag to his shoulder.

“It’s a long process,” Niall sighs. “But just so you know, I won’t judge you if you try to shoot your shot. Again.”

Harry stops and looks at his friend, thoughts racing in his head that have been bothering for a while now but he wasn’t sure if he should share it with anyone.

“I just… don’t know if she wants me that way anymore. I might be bolder if she just gave me a crumble, the tiniest hint that she still has some of the feelings she had for me.”

“I see,” Niall nods. “It’s a tough situation. But you look a lot better lately, so I’m happy for that.”

“I feel better,” he admits. “I really missed her.”

“Shocker,” Niall rolls his eyes. “Alright, I have a business dinner tonight, might even go out for a few drinks, don’t wait for me.”

“I never do,” Harry chuckles.

Not even an hour later Harry is in a two bedroom apartment in Greenwich with a reasonable rent and his own washing and drying machine which is considered a miracle. As the owner is talking about the building and utilities, Harry knows he should be paying attention, but he can’t take his eyes off of you.

Wandering around in the spacious and empty living room, you’re wearing a power suit today with a long black coat, your hair up in a loose bun, a red bag hanging from your shoulder as you inspect the room around you. It’s the second place you’re checking out and probably the best place so far, but when Harry realized that finding his new place might be the end of this little apartment hunt he’s been doing with you, he started finding all the things he didn’t like about the homes he has seen.

“What do you think?” Harry asks, taking a look at the fireplace as he joins you in the living room.

“Spacious, nice, big windows and a washer and dryer. That’s very rare,” you smile, walking over to the window to check the view. “Do you like it?”

“It’s… not bad,” he hums, yet to find something against the place.

“You can use the second bedroom as an office and a huge bookcase would look amazing in here for all your books,” you muse, already seeing the room furnished in his style. You’re too busy imagining what it could look like to notice that Harry is only looking at you.

“How do you know I still have my books?” he asks and you huff rolling your eyes.

“Please, you’d rather sell your soul than get rid of your books.”

You’re right. And you’re right because even despite the three years gap, you still know him better than anyone, probably.

The owner joins you and takes Harry to show him the closet spaces, so you’re left alone in the living room when your phone buzzes. It’s Derek, again, he is asking if you want Chinese for dinner, he is probably on his way home.

Any normal girlfriend would be happy to spend their evening with their boyfriend and some takeout. But as you think about the option to go home to Derek and spend more time with Harry, you have no doubt which one you want more.

Y/N: I’m meeting with a friend for dinner. Don’t wait up Xx

Harry and the owner return just as you send the text and shove your phone back into your bag.

“So what do you think?” the lady asks with a bright smile.

“It’s nice,” Harry nods, looking around again.

“Right? Perfect for a young couple like you two, darlings!” she beams.

Harry almost chokes on his own saliva at her words, but it doesn’t faze you, if anything, your chest warms up as you just break a smile.

“No, that’s—“ Harry speaks up, but you cut him off.

“Exactly! It would be so nice as our first home we share, right?” you act along, linking your arm with his while ignoring how the thought of being a couple with Harry again fills you with bliss and joy.

“Uh, y-yeah, I guess,” Harry clears his throat and it’s comical how his ears are turning red.

The lady smiles brightly, telling you about the nearby park and the market that’s such a blessing on Sundays, but Harry is still hung up on how you just went along with the couple thing. His chest aches, imagining a parallel universe where it’s the truth and the two of you are looking for your new home as a couple, but that’s not his reality, because he hurt you in the past and you’re dating someone else.

“So how did you like it?” you ask him, when the two of you are leaving.

“It was good.”

“Are you gonna rent it out?”

“I’ll have to think about it, but it’s a nice candidate,” he nods to himself.

“We still have a few on our list to check out,” you tell him with a soft smile. “Hey, do you want to grab dinner?” you ask, pushing your guilt to the back of your mind about missing out to be with Derek and choosing to spend time with Harry instead. You know it’s alarming, that you’re more interested in being with your ex than your current boyfriend, but it’s been such a confusing time and you’re still figuring it out.

Twenty minutes later you’re sitting in an Italian place sharing a huge pizza with Harry, drinking wine and having a blast. Maybe you’ve already had a few glasses too much of that wine, but you’re just enjoying the buzz and letting loose.

“Alright, so tell me about your ex,” you blurt out as you grab another slice.

“My ex? Why?” Harry chuckles.

“Because I’m nosy. You’ve seen who I’m dating, I wanna know what she was like too.”

You’re being casual, curiosity truly the reason why you brought it up, but it roots deeper than that and you know it. The thought of Harry being with another woman has been circling around in your mind since you found out about it, but you don’t know enough about her.

“I told you, we met at a—“

“A bar, I know, I know!” you roll your eyes. “But what was she like?”

“Um, she is usually very calm and considerate. Definitely more mature than me,” Harry chuckles, playing with the corn on his plate that fell off the pizza. “I was her second serious relationship, the first one lasted for six years, she’s been single for only a few months when we met.”

“And you both went into it looking for something serious?” you ask, desperate to know more.

“I mean… you know I don’t really do casual,” Harry smirks and you chuckle at his words. “It’s what worked for both of us, so I guess yeah.”

“So then what went wrong?”

Harry keeps quiet, he has no idea how to word it, because he can’t just tell you they broke up because Jo wasn’t you and he is still very much in love with you.

“I rushed things when I wasn’t certain about where I wanted to head,” he then speaks up. “I shouldn’t have led her on when I wasn’t one hundred percent sure what I wanted.”

“Who broke up with who?” you ask, making yourself busy with the food, but your stomach is one big knot, thinking about Harry having feelings for another woman.

“It was a mutual decision. Well, she brought it up, but we both felt that something already changed so we both agreed it’s best if we parted ways.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

Harry shrugs. “It’s fine, I wish her the best and obviously, I wasn’t that,” he chuckles bitterly.

“That’s… that’s almost what you told me,” you mutter, feeling overwhelmed.

“What?”

“Before you left you said you hope I’ll find the person that deserves me, because you were obviously not the one.”

Harry opens his mouth, but no word comes out. The way you still remember what he told you that day is like a knife in his chest, he never intended to hurt you this bad, to cause wounds that you still carry with yourself as scars.

Reaching for your wine you finish the glass before pushing out a smile.

“Alright, enough of the soppy shit,” you chuckle. “Want to hear about how Kostas and I almost got arrested the day after our graduation?”

After dinner there’s a silent agreement that neither of you wants to go home just yet. Somehow you end up in Madison Square Park and because the weather has been gradually getting warmer, there are quite a lot of people outside, there’s a street band playing covers everyone knows and several couples are dancing, having a great time. You don’t have to convince Harry to get closer and listen to some of the songs, the lively scene bringing you this special kind of warmth you’ve experienced a few times in the city before. All these different individuals living so close to each other, yet they barely know anything about the people around them, but there are moments when they are brought together for a little bit, their lives move parallel for that short period before they head their own separate ways again.

“God, I love this city,” you sigh, watching the dancing people, the happiness on their face and the vibe that lingers around them slowly pulling you in.

“It’s different.”

“But in a good way, right?” you smile at him.

“Definitely,” he chuckles.

“For the next song we want everyone to let loose, don’t be afraid to join in with singing or dancing!” The singer of the band announces over the microphone before the opening chords to Dancing Queen by ABBA starts playing and it clearly shakes everyone up.

“Oh my God! Come on, let’s dance!” you cheer and grabbing Harry’s hand you pull him closer to the band, into the little dancing crowd.

He doesn’t have the chance to protest, not that he wants to, he would follow you anywhere and as the two of you join the group of strangers, he feels like every bit of pain, hurt and misery vanishes from his body and mind and for just a few short minutes, he feels happy again.

He’s happy, because he sees you with that bright, real smile on your face as you start dancing to the music, your hand grabbing his and you make him move with you, which he gladly does. You sway around with silly dance moves, your arm linking around his neck and he pulls you into his embrace and it feels like he has a piece of the past back.

A piece of you back.

The song fades into another one and you slow down, panting slightly as you look up at him, realizing how close he is to you. You could kiss him so easily, his lips are welcoming and you’re dreading to feel them on your mouth again, the memory of his taste feels way too distant now and it frightens you.

You don’t want to lose him, you don’t want to forget him, he is etched into your heart and soul and you know he will always be the one you loved the most.

He is looking down at you with longing and lust and you’re on the verge of breaking, but there’s a barrier inside your head that keeps you from doing it. You can’t.

You can’t, because you need time to process his return into your life and also because you’re in a relationship with someone else.

“Um, I think we should head home.” You peel your arms off of him and step back, your cheeks feel hot and you’re way too confused to think straight.

Even after parting ways with Harry you take a walk in your apartment’s neighborhood, needing to air your head out or just simply not wanting to go back to your life that doesn’t have Harry in it the way you desire deep down.

When you finally build up the courage to go home it’s way past eleven. Derek is lying on the couch in his pajamas already and the moment you see him you feel an immense amount of guilt washing over you.

You kiss him shortly before locking yourself up in the bathroom and take the hottest shower human kind can bear, hoping the burning water would just melt this heavy feeling away. Nothing makes sense and your feelings for Harry are making you rip your hair out.

You once vowed to never forgive him for the hurt he had caused. But where is that anger now? You were convinced you’d never move on, but that was before you met him again. Now that Harry is back, you see everything in a different light.

When you emerge from your shower straight out of hell, Derek is lying in bed, one arm tucked under his head as he is watching a video on his phone, but when he sees you he locks and puts it aside quickly.

“Hey, how was your day?” he asks as you spread some hand crème over your dried out hands, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“It was fine, nothing extra,” you hum in reply.

“How was the place you checked out with your friend?”

Your muscles flex at the question. Derek doesn’t know about Harry. He doesn’t know who he is or that you’re meeting up with him so often lately. Somehow you couldn’t get yourself to tell him that your book is not just fiction that (almost) everything happened to you and the man who it is about is now back in your life and your old feelings are definitely resurfacing.

You feel terrible about it, but you have enough to worry about without having Derek up in your business. If he found out and questioned you about it, you have no idea what you’d say since you figured nothing out yourself. You’ll come clean to him once you know what you want.

“It was nice, I’m not sure it’s gonna be the one, but definitely one of the top picks,” you say as you get under the covers.

You sink into the mattress comfortably, lying on your side and you barely settle in a position when Derek’s body melts against yours, his hand wandering under your shirt as he kisses your shoulder.

“Missed you all day,” he murmurs, clearly indicating what he wants, but that’s not gonna happen. Not today.

“Derek…” you sigh, as his kisses move closer to your neck, his fingers gently stroking your stomach.

“I barely saw you all week, I miss my girl.”

“I missed you too, but I’m just so tired,” you mumble and push his hand away, stopping his actions. You turn around to face him and see the disappointment in his eyes, but he pulls back anyway.

“Are you sure that’s all?” he asks, cradling you in his arms instead, keeping himself to just cuddling.

“Yeah, of course. It’s just been… a crazy few weeks,” you clear your throat and cup his face in your hands.

You love him. You really do. Derek came into your life when you needed his support the most and for that you’ll always be thankful to him. And you were even in love with him once.

But not anymore.

“Alright. Come here,” he smiles at you softly as he pulls you to his chest. You let him hold you in his embrace and he slowly falls asleep while you lie in his arms wide awake, thinking about one thing.

Or more like one person.

Kostas is in the city!

You haven’t seen him in months since he didn’t follow you and Ramona to the city, making your friendship long distance but still unbreakable. But he is spending the next two weeks in the city at one of his cousins, you swear the man has family in every state and he’s got at least a dozen cousins sprinkled all around the world. But you’re not complaining, at least it’s now bringing him to your city and you get to see your favorite gay.

Friday afternoon you’re barely even focusing on your meeting as Kelly presents next month’s projects for the group. Your notes won’t be that big of a help later so you already know you’ll ask one of your colleagues to help you out. When the meeting is finally over you head back to your office to wrap everything up before leaving soon. As you’re in between answering emails and sending out reports, your phone buzzes on the desk.

It’s a message from Harry. To be exact, a picture. The photo captures him smiling with Niall in the background, holding a huge box filled with his things.

He decided to rent out the apartment the two of you toured recently and today he is officially leaving Niall’s nest and moves into his own home. If only you didn’t have to work, you would be there with them helping, but even though Kelly is the best boss to ever exist, you’ve already taken way too many days off because of your book.

Smiling giddily you text him back.

Y/N: How is moving day? Have you popped the champagne yet?

His reply comes just moments later.

HARRY: It’s a disaster! But everything is moved finally.

Y/N: Can’t wait to see it when everything is in place!

HARRY: I’ll have a housewarming party haha!

The past week you couldn’t meet Harry but you kept in touch, always texting and even having a few calls. And though you kept telling yourself it’s all just friendly, you knew you were trying to fool yourself.

You’ve been drowning in your ambivalent feelings about the situation you’re in. Your hurt from the past is still holding you back from letting yourself get closer to Harry the way you truly want, but you also know that there is a strong force pulling you towards him and away from Derek and the closer you are to Harry the happier you feel. You know you need to make your mind up, but it scares you so you’ve been procrastinating it as much as you could.

You hit send on your last email and your phone buzzes again, but this time it’s not Harry. Kostas has sent a photo to the group chat you have with him and Ramona. The name is still Roomies even after years of not living together.

KOSTAS: CAN YOU FEEL THE EARTH SHAKING??? The Greek God is in the city bitches!!

You let out a cackle as you lean back in your chair and cross your leg while typing your response.

Y/N: I knew something happened, the fire alarm went off in the building!

RAMONA: Astrid just started crying, knew it was you!

KOSTAS: Bitches… I missed you! Send me the location where we meet tonight, leave your boyfriends and husbands and children at home, the roomies are going out!!

When you finally make it home you make some food and then start to get ready. The tunes of your favorite songs fill the apartment and you’re dancing around in your bathrobe, doing your makeup and hair, picking your outfit out. Tonight you are letting loose not just because Kostas is here but because you need and deserve it.

You don’t hear it when the front door opens and Derek arrives. Hanging his jacket in the closet in the hallway he walks closer to the bedroom with a smile on his lips as he spots you swaying around, laying out different outfits onto the bed. An Adele song is playing and you sing along with it, your hair already styled and your skin looks so smooth and welcoming, he is enamored by the sight of you.

When you spot him finally, leaning against the doorframe you jump with a shriek, pausing the music on your phone.

“Shit, you scared me!” you breathe out, placing a hand to your chest.

“Sorry,” he chuckles. “You just looked cute dancing around.”

Normally, the compliment would melt you, but now… it does absolutely nothing to you. As Derek steps closer he kisses your cheek before loosening his tie around his neck.

“Where are you going?” he asks as you pick out a green dress and put the rest away.

“Kostas is in the city, I’m going out with him and Ram.”

“Oh, right, sorry it totally slipped my mind.”

“That’s alright,” you smile at him before getting dressed. You’re struggling to pull the zipper up on your back and Derek is quick to help you out, pressing a kiss to the back of your head once the zipper is up.

“You look pretty,” he squeezes your waist before stepping back. “Hey, your birthday is coming up, do you know what you want to do?”

“Um, probably just a dinner with friends, nothing extra,” you shrug your shoulders as you fix your lipstick and look for a coat that suits your outfit.

“Alright, that sounds nice,” he smiles, but the more you see his smile the guiltier you’re feeling, because in a sense you’re leading him on.

“I’m leaving. Don’t wait up,” you force a smile to your lips as well and lean in for a kiss, but you’re just going through the motions, there are no feelings in it.

“I’ll make you the hungover juice for the morning,” he chuckles.

“Thank you, see you later!” you call out and with that, you’re out the door.

“There he is!” you shriek when Kostas finally arrives. You and Ramona are already sipping on your first drink of the night when he walks in, definitely making an entrance.

“I missed you so much!” he moans, pulling you both into a group hug before you all settle at the table again and he orders a drink for himself. “You both look fine as fuck!”

“And you too!” Ramona giggles, brushing her hair over her shoulder. It’s obvious how excited she is to be out and about without Astrid. She is an amazing mother, but she definitely deserves some time without her mini me.

One drink follows the other and you’re talking as if you’re sitting on the floor of your living room you used to share, drinking cheap wine out of plastic cups. Only that you now have a great job as a statistician and have a published book, Ramona is married and has a daughter and Kostas is working at a start up in California that’s promised to be the next big thing.

“Look at us! We have this life thing all figured out!” Kostas raises his glass and you all just laugh, clinking your glasses together at his toast, even if it’s not entirely true. Life could be way worse. “Y/N, I need you to send me a signed copy of your book, I want to sell it on Ebay.”

“I didn’t sign the one I sent to you?”

“You didn’t and I’m hurt, so you better make up for it,” he huffs dramatically, but you all just laugh. “How was the signing anyway?”

Ramona’s eyes snap at you right away and you know exactly what or more like who she is thinking about. You haven’t had the chance to share Harry’s appearance with Kostas, it’s been such a hectic time lately.

“What’s going on? I smell something that I don’t know of, spill the tea!” Kostas demands, his eyes snapping back and forth between you and Ramona.

“Um… It’s a funny story, but… Harry showed up at the signing.”

Kostas’ jaw falls to the floor as he stares back at you and you already know he’ll give you shit for not telling him earlier, but right now he is more interested in knowing the details.

“What? How? Why? What did he say?!”

You give him a quick rundown of what happened before the signing and then when you met him to have the talk that’s been due for a long time. Kostas’ eyes are so wide, you’re afraid they will fall right into his drink as he listens to the story, taking everything in.

“Oh my God, this sounds like some Argentinian soap opera episode!” he claps his hands. “And do you guys talk now? Are you like… friends?”

“Yeah. We are definitely friends,” you nod. “I helped him find a new place so he could move out from Niall’s place.”

“And what does Derek think about this?”

Guilt washes over you instantly at his question. You’ve been avoiding to talk about this ever since Harry showed up in your life, because you still have no idea where you stand with the matter.

“Well, first of all, you don’t know this yet, but Derek is apparently planning to propose to me.”

“Oh my God, I swear to God, I move across the country and you leave me out of all the real shit!” He scoffs throwing his hands into the air. “Did he tell you he wants to propose?”

“She found the ring,” Ramona speaks up, playing with the straw in her drink.

“Yeah. I don’t know when he wants to do it.”

“And why do I have a feeling that you don’t even want him to do it at all?” Kostas purses his lips as he narrows his eyes at you.

You open your mouth, but no word comes out and your throat closes up as you feel all your bottle dup emotions threatening to spill at once. They both notice the change in you and maybe it’s the alcohol you’ve consumed or maybe it’s been just simply too much lately, but a teardrop rolls down your cheek as your lips start trembling.

“I feel so shitty. I fucking hate myself!” you blurt out and Ramona reaches for your hand right away.

“Oh no, don’t say that!” she coos squeezing your hand.

“But I’m such a mess and I’m gonna end up hurting someone!”

“Just tell us what’s going on! We are here to help you but it’s hard to when we don’t know what’s on your mind!” Kostas pleads.

Taking a few deep breaths you collect your thoughts and bear yourself to share your fears and feelings that’s been torturing you for the past few weeks.

“Derek has no idea about Harry. I never told him who he was because he doesn’t even know the book is not fiction.”

Kostas gasps while Ramona just chews on her bottom lip since she knew about that. She has worded her concerns about not telling Derek what the book is really about, but you didn’t listen to her.

“I was surprised he was so fine with publishing it, it’s hard not to be when he has no idea it’s about your ex!” Kostas huffs and it doesn’t help your guilt for sure.

“How the fuck should have I told him? Derek is so morally perfect, if I told him I dated my professor in college he would have flipped. The book wouldn’t have been the matter because he would have been out the door the moment I came clean to him!”

“You’re right, I bet he never stole anything ever in his life,” Ramona mumbles under her breath. Taking a deep breath you try to get back to where you were to share your fears with your friends.

“I’ve been spending time with Harry,” you admit. “He needed to find a place to move out of Niall’s and I told him Derek had a few connections in the real estate business, but it was just me looking up apartments for him just so I could talk to him.”

“Oh my God,” Kostas breathes out and you feel like you’re confessing all your sins.

“I know it was wrong, but I just… I missed him so much,” you admit and as the words roll off your tongue it feels like a rock has been lifted off your shoulders. Sharing it with someone eases the guilt you’ve been carrying around, though it’s only momentary. “I hated what he did but I also missed him so fucking much and now that I have him back in my life and I know what really went down…”

You can’t finish, but they both know what you were trying to say. Your feelings for Harry never really went away, even when you hated him, you still had love for him, you just kept it hidden deep inside you.

“My boyfriend is planning to propose to me while I’m secretly meeting up with my ex, how fucked is that?” you breathe out shaking your head as you grab your drink and chug down half of it, hoping the alcohol would numb the pain.

“Okay, wait. Let’s just break it down,” Kostas lays his hand out on top of the table and you know this voice, this is his therapist voice he uses when he is eager to help you get your shit together. “You’ve been feeling conflicted about Derek since Harry appeared?”

“No… not really. I found the ring before that and I panicked.”

“So you had doubts about Derek even before Harry?”

“I’m just… I don’t think I’m the right person for him. He’s been so good to me, but he deserves so much more than what I can give him.”

“I understand that, but it’s also not just your decision,” Ramona speaks up. “If Derek loves you and chooses you, you can’t decide for him.”

“I know, but I can’t ignore what I feel either!” you argue and she nods. It’s such an impossible situation.

“You need to separate your feelings, Y/N,” Kostas points it out. “It sounds confusing now, but I think your feelings for Derek don’t have much to do with Harry.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were doubting your relationship with him even before Harry appeared. Harry’s presence just made it worse obviously, but you had doubts already. The ring… if he asked you to marry him now, what would you say?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“What would have you said if he asked when you found the ring?” Ramona chimes in.

“I think I would have said no,” you admit with a sigh.

“So even without Harry in the equation, you wouldn’t have wanted to stay with Derek,” he explains and you try to stay focused and not let the panic take over your mind. “You have to keep them separated. Sort your feelings out about Derek and then do the same about Harry.”

And what if you separate them? How do you know what you feel is real and not just a momentary flame? What if it’s all because you can’t process that Harry is back in your life? You never thought it would ever happen, but now that it’s your reality, you don’t know how to deal with it. You don’t want to throw away everything you worked so hard for just to end up exactly where you were three years ago? Derek treats you right, he loves you and you’d have a great life with him, while all you see when you think of Harry is uncertainty.

“As if that’s so easy!” you huff.

“Nothing is easy, babe,” Kostas rolls his eyes. “Wait, no, there is one thing that’s easy.”

“What?” you and Ramona ask at the same time.

“Getting drunk, duh!”

And that’s exactly what you do.

Harry’s apartment is still like a warzone, empty and full boxes are littered across the floor in every room, he hasn’t had the chance to touch the ones that belong to the kitchen, only gotten himself one fork to eat the takeaway he had for dinner, but the rest will be left for tomorrow. It’s almost one am when he finally calls it a day and decides to just continue it in the morning. His bedroom looks the best probably, he’s got his sheets on already and he can’t wait to take a quick shower and sleep away this busy day.

He just emits from the fogged up bathroom and is roaming through one of his suitcases full of clothes to find at least a pair of clean boxers when his phone starts ringing on the nightstand. Holding the towel around his waist, water still dripping from his body he snatches the device and his stomach drops when he sees your name flashing on the screen.

“Y/N?” he answers the call. You don’t speak up right away, but he can hear all the noise around you, as if you were standing in front of a night club.

“Harry?” you finally breathe out, you sound so tired and most definitely drunk.

“Y/N, what’s going on? Are you alright?” A shiver runs down his spine at the thought of you being possibly hurt or in trouble.

“Y-Yeah, I just… ummm… c-can you…? Hm?”

You’re drunk. So drunk that you don’t make any sense and knowing that you’re out there in this state freaks him out.

“Y/N, where are you? Are you alone? Is Derek with you?” Even though he hates the thought of your boyfriend, he would rather have him with you than let you be alone.

“No, I’m in this… This is a nice… place. Do you want to come here?”

“I need the exact place, Y/N. I’ll go and get you, but I need to know where you are.” Harry holds his phone to his ear with his shoulder as he grabs whatever clothes he finds first in the suitcase while he tries to get you to talk coherently.

“Um it’s… it’s next to that barrr… with the yellow sign?” He hears shouting and a couple girls laughing in the background, but it’s still not enough information for him to find you.

“Y/N, listen to me. Are you outside of the place?”

“Yeah, I needed… I needed air.”

“Alright, do you see a security guard? A bouncer? Anyone?”

“There’s… Oh, there is this… big ass dude at the door,” you giggle and Harry tries his best to keep his cool.

“Alright, can you give him the phone for a second?”

“What?” you gasp. “I’m not… I’m not giving my phone to a… stranger!”

“That’s great, but I need someone who can tell me where you are.”

“Are you gonna come here?” you ask and he can see your pouty lips and puppy eyes as you say that.

“Yes, I’ll come and get you, baby. Just—“ “Baby?” you gasp again and Harry only now realizes what he called you.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

“Can you call me that again?” you ask out of breath and desperately and Harry’s heart melts in his chest.

“Baby, I need you to give the phone to the bouncer, so I can ask him where you are. Can you do that for me?”

“Mhm,” you hum.

You hand the phone over to the bouncer and Harry explains to him the situation. The guy gladly tells him the address and also promises to keep you there with him until he arrives before handing the phone back to you.

“Baby, stay there, I’ll be there as soon as possible, okay?”

“Okay,” you mumble and with that Harry is already running to get you.

By the time his cab pulls up to the night club it’s been twenty minutes since the phone call and it has started raining.

“Can you please wait for me?” he asks the driver and the old man just nods as Harry jumps out and frantically looks for you.

The bouncer spots him and figures he is there for you, so he waves at him and Harry runs up to him and he finally sees you standing behind him, leaning against the wall, your arms wrapped around your body, shivering and your eyes barely open.

“Hey, I’m here, Y/N. I’m here,” he pulls you into his arms right away and nods at the bouncer as a thank you for keeping you there and not letting you wander away.

“Harry? You really came?” you whimper.

“Of course. Come on, let’s go.”

He walks you to the cab and helps you in before telling the driver to take the two of you back to his place. You’re not soaked luckily, since the bouncer kept you under the roof at the entrance, but you’re definitely cold. Harry wraps his arms around you and you bury your face into his chest.

“Were you there alone?” he hums softly.

“Mmm… I was with Kostas and Ramona.”

“Okay, I’ll text them from your phone to let them know you’re safe, alright?”

You just nod with your eyes closed and let him fish your phone out of your coat’s pocket. He sees a bunch of texts and missed calls from your friends so he quickly shoots them a text in the group chat.

Y/N: Hey guys, it’s Harry, Y/N is with me. She called me and I just picked her up, she is alright.

He doesn’t want to invade your privacy so once the text is sent he locks the phone and slips it back into your pocket.

Arriving to his place it’s a bit of a struggle to get you up to his apartment since you’re already half asleep and you keep tumbling over your own feet, but you finally manage to get to his front door. You wrap your arms around his waist as he fumbles with the lock, not too familiar with it just yet since it’s his first official night here.

“Harry…” you sigh just as he opens the door and walks you in carefully.

“I’m right here.”

“Where are we?” you ask, looking around with a puzzled look as he closes the door and peels your coat off of you.

“It’s my new place, you don’t remember it? We checked it out together,” he smiles softly. You kick your heels off and take a few stumbled steps forward, taking in the chaos around you.

“Oh right! You just… moved,” you nod and Harry just chuckles.

He takes your hand gently and walks you into the bedroom, trying his best to avoid every box lying on the floor even with your disoriented state. He makes you sit on the edge of the bed and by that moment you’re almost fully asleep.

“Y/N, do you want to change into something else?” he asks, gently brushing your hair out of your face. You frown and shake your head. “Alright, let’s get you to bed.”

He helps you up onto the bed fully and pulls the covers over you, the moment your head hits the pillow your eyes are closed and you’re drifting off to sleep. He tucks you in and takes a moment to admire the sight of you, curled up in his bed. In a parallel universe this is where you belong. In his home, with him.

But it’s not that universe.

Breathing out shakily he is just about to take the couch for the night when you call after him.

“Harry?” Your voice is faint and fragile.

“Yeah? Do you need something?” he asks, turning back instantly.

“Where are you going?” Pushing yourself up you look at him through glassy eyes, but the confusion is obvious in them.

“I’m gonna sleep on the couch.”

“No. Come here, please!” you plead and move to one side of the bed to make him space.

He hesitates. Of course he wants to sleep next to you, feel your presence beside him, even hold you, but he knows damn well he shouldn’t be in the same bed as you when you’re dating someone else.

“Harry, please!” you breathe out and he breaks.

He takes his sweatshirt off and climbs to the bed, making sure to keep some distance from you, he wouldn’t want you to wake up in the morning and have regrets. The two of you settle on your sides facing each other and while your eyes are closed, Harry can’t take his gaze off of you.

“Thank you,” you mumble out of the blue.

“For what?”

“For… for…”

You hum and bury your face deeper into the pillow and when no word comes from you for several minutes, he knows you’ve fallen asleep. There’s no cuddling and no lines are crossed. You sleep next to each other and for a night, it seems like balance has been brought to the universe.

But it’s gone as soon as Harry opens his eyes in the morning, because you’re nowhere to be found and Harry knows it was a mistake to spend the night in that bed with you.

NEXT (FINAL) PART

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles series #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #professor!harry #wildest fantasies #harry styles smut

[sadaboutniall]

hiii! have some fun ficmas questions!!: who is your favourite ofc to write? who is the hardest to write? what would say niall and wf niall think of one another? what was the very first idea/inspiration behind say? and then also wf? which side character is your fave to write? what motivates you the most when it comes to writing? when did you start writing fanfic? (of any fandom)who are three authors you admire? enjoy!!

this is so fun thank you for asking!! under a cut since this will probably be long.

favorite ofc to write: so far it’s been isla, but that’s probably in large part because I’ve spent more time with her than lu so far. I just love isla so much—more than I love niall sometimes, lol. I think she’s so strong, so funny, so loving, and so smart. I just adore her. I think about her a lot.

hardest to write: wf niall can be tough—it can be a little hard to imagine who niall would be without 1d, you know. 

what would say niall and wf niall think about each other: this is SUCH a good question, holy shit! I think wf niall would be amazed at what say niall has achieved, first and foremost, and he’d want his advice and mentorship. I think he’d be surprised at how say niall treated isla in certain moments, like after greg’s wedding. he’d be surprised it took them so long to get their shit together, and he’d blame niall for it more than isla, for sure. say niall, I think, would feel super protective over wf niall—he knows what he wants, but he also understands the reality of the industry he’s trying to break into. he’d tell him not to be in such a rush to leave home, and to always remember where he came from and why it’s so important. 

first inspiration behind say: I actually don’t remember what triggered it, but I know the idea came from talking with @horanandscorin at the beginning of the pandemic. all my texts got lost when I lost my phone lol but I sent her a voice note about how cool it would be to do a series of little one shots, strung together, about niall and The One Who Got Away. It was originally intended to be muuuuch shorter than it turned out to be. the idea was one chapter for every day of what would’ve been ntmy tour, to make up for the fact that tour had been cancelled. 

first inspiration behind wf: i’ve actually been thinking about wf for way longer than say! I initially saw some cosmo article about this tiny cafe on a tiny island in ireland that was hiring and I was like “holy shit, this would be such a cute fic.” I talked to rand about that, too, and then she told me to watch the music video for for island fires and family, which was filmed on inis mor. it all came from there, but I didn’t feel ready to write it for a long time. 

fave side character: Emilia in say, which, lol, we really summoned Niall’s Amelia, huh.

what motivates me the most: wanting to know what my characters do, tbh. i’m not much of a planner—I tend to just write and see what happens, so I love discovering while I go along. 

when did I start writing fic: literally as a pre-teen. I think high school musical was my first, lol. jonas brothers fic was the first I posted, and then my parents found it and made me take it down LSAJKFASLADFS

three authors I admire: i’m not sure if you mean on here, or for books, but I can do both! two of my all time favorite writers are actually narry writers: queen jibrailis, who wrote my fave fic of all time, and jenna @merrystylans, who is one of the best writers I know. I also love @wowweeharrystyles who is a genius and such a dedicated writer, and @stylishmuser who is such a voracious writer and great at creating characters! off tumblr, some of my favorite authors are beth o’leary, sally rooney, and casey mcquiston, among many others.

thank you so, so much for these qs!! and thank you to p for organizing ficmas!!

#adoremp3 #aaah I loved this

[wheretogofrmhere]

I was reading some comments and fans are calling Niall pregnant wf is wrong with people he’s allowed to have a tummy he’s a human. Some fans are so gross 🤬

those arent real fans, and if they are, they prob think they are being funny bc they seem to think he “likes” being picked on for some reason....

like you said, its just gross.

#Anonymous

[ziallowepornoski-blog]

Random Stranger | Ziall (2)

Kilka dni później odzyskałem w końcu telefon i laptop. Pierwsze co zrobiłem to sprawdziłem wiadomości i skype, wszystko było zawalone próbami skontaktowania się ze mną przez Zayna. Od Zaynboo: "Nie podoba mi się to jak zwracasz się do mnie. Nie będę pieprzył się sam. Ewentualnie mogę pieprzyć ciebie" "Daj spokój Ni, nie mogłem rozmawiać, wybacz że się rozłączyłem bez słowa" "Niall? Żyjesz w ogóle?" "To już trzeci dzień jak nie dajesz znaków życia" "Niall martwię się, masz się odezwać" "Nawet nie wiem gdzie mieszkasz, cholera Niall! Napisz chociaż żebym spierdalał ale daj znak życia!" Nie czytałem już kolejnych SMSów ale od razu wybrałem numer Zayna. Odebrał po pierwszym sygnale. - Czemu ty się nie odzywasz do cholery?! Siedzę jak ten debil na telefonie bo bałem się że coś ci się stało i tylko czekałem na ten telefon, ale nie! Gdybym wiedział gdzie mieszkasz przetrzepałbym ci skórę za to jak się o ciebie martwiłem! Oniemiały słuchałem jak wrzeszczał na mnie, ale w środku cieszyłem się z tego. Coś musiałem dla niego znaczyć skoro martwił się, zawalał mi skrzynkę wiadomościami. - Przepraszam - wyszeptałem tylko. - Myślisz że przepraszam wszystko załatwi?! - Przepraszam bardzo? - Jesteś okropny! Jak mogłeś się tyle czasu nie odzywać?! - Kto wtedy przerwał nam rozmowę? - spytałem kładąc się na łóżku. - Mój brat - odpowiedział dopiero po dłuższej chwili. - Kłamiesz? - czułem jak łamie mi się głos. - Nie Niall. Jesteś moim jedynym chłopcem. - Jestem twoim chłopcem? - wyszeptałem. - Oczywiście Ni. • Aż się boję publikować rozdział z Daddy!Kink ale raz się żyje. Niby już pisałam takie opowiadanie ale boję się że to zepsuję.. Do ZaynBoo: "Zayney? Zayney co robisz?" Leżałem w łóżku i wpatrywałem się w komórkę. Zostałem dzisiaj w domu, nie chciało mi się iść do szkoły. Od ZaynBoo: "Mam zebranie, nie przeszkadzaj mi" Do ZaynBoo: "A ty mogłeś przeszkadzać mi na lekcji?" Od Zaynboo: "Mówię poważnie Ni" Do Zaynboo: "A co? Przełożysz mnie przez kolano i zbijesz?" Od Zaynboo: "Dzieci się nie bije. Choć zasłużyłeś" Do Zaynboo: "Auć dziecko? Rozbierałem się przed kamerką dla ciebie, to chyba przestaje mnie klasyfikować jako dziecko" Od Zaynboo: "Dostałem już jedno upomnienie Niall. Nie chcę mieć przez ciebie kłopotów" Do Zaynboo: "Przepraszam Tatusiu" Od Zaynboo: "Jak mnie nazwałeś?" Do Zaynboo: "Tatusiem? Przepraszam. To było głupie.. Nie wiem czemu to napisałem. To przez tamto o klapsach za karę.." Od Zaynboo: "To jest podniecające" Rozchyliłem wargi patrząc na ostatni SMS od Zayna. Zwilżyłem językiem usta i zmieniłem nazwę kontaktu. Do Tatuś: "Serio?" Od Tatuś: "Serio" Do Tatuś: "Skoro ty jesteś moim tatusiem, to kim jestem ja?" Od Tatuś: "Jesteś moim kociakiem, moim chłopcem.." Do Tatuś: "Podoba mi się to" Do Tatuś: "Tatusiu? Nudne to zebranie, prawda?" Od Tatuś: "Nudne. Ale muszę tu być" Do Tatuś: "Skoro jest nudne, to wyobraź sobie że w tej chwili jedem pod stołem. Bawię się zamkiem twoich spodni patrząc ci z szerokim uśmiechem w oczy" Od Tatuś: "Niall.." Do Tatuś: "Nie Tatusiu. Kociak albo chłopiec. Ewentualnie księżniczka. Hahaha. W końcu udaje mi się rozpiąć twoje spodnie, odchylam twoje bokserki i dotykam cię dłonią. Powoli masuję cię. Drugą dłonią głaszczę cię po udzie. Robi się twardy.." Od Tatuś: "Kurwa kociaku" • Od Harry: "Idziesz do Tima na imprezę?" Od Tatuś: "Chciałbym cię dotknąć kociaku. Dotykać cię cały czas. Jesteś tylko mój" Do Harry: "Tatusiu. Tak, też bym chciał żebyś mnie dotykał. Wszędzie.." Do Tatuś: "Nie" Dopiero po chwili zdałem sobie sprawę co zrobiłem. Z szeroko otwartymi oczami i spanikowanym piskiem starałem się odwołać źle zaadresowane SMSy. - O nie nie nie nie - wyszeptałem gdy oba były odczytane. Zacisnąłem powieki. Powinienem się w końcu nauczyć nie pisać z dwoma osobami na raz. Od Harry: "CO KURWA?" Od Tatuś: "Co kurwa?" - Jacy zgodni - zaśmiałem się nerwowo. Miałem ochotę wyłączyć telefon, rozjechać go samochodem którego nie miałem, spalić resztki, wyprowadzić się do Timbuktu, założyć plantacje bananów i zmienić imię na Pepito, ale musiałem to wyjaśnić. Zayn myśli że nie chcę żeby mnie dotykał, a Harry, mój przyjaciel, pewnie myśli że jestem chorym, zboczonym, pojebem który pisze dziwne SMSy z własnym ojcem. Czy jest dobre wyjście z tej sytuacji? Do Harry, Tatuś: "Zły numer" Od Harry: "Chcesz mi powiedzieć że SMS miał trafić do twojego ojca i że ma cię wszędzie dotykać?" Od Tatuś: "Więc? Lepiej żeby to rzeczywiście miało trafić do kogoś innego. Bo znajdę cię i dam ci te obiecane klapsy" Do Harry: "Nic ci nie chcę mówić prócz tego że to nie porozumienie" Od Harry: "Z dnia na dzień stajesz się dziwniejszy i bardziej gejowski" Do Harry: "Ja jestem gejem" Od Harry: "Wiem ale ostatnio z ciebie perwersyjny gej się robi" Do Harry: "Spieprzaj" Od Harry: "Nie będę się już przy tobie schylał po mydło pod prysznicem po wf" Do Harry: "Lepiej bo cię nim przez łeb strzelę. Idź na tą imprezę i daj mi spokój" Od Harry: "Pilnuj numeru do którego wysyłasz wiadomości bo to robi się serio dziwne" Do Harry: "Będę pamiętał" • - Zayn? - obserwowałem go jak wypełniał jakieś dokumenty. Rozmawialiśmy na skype, jak codzień. - Tak kotku? - zerknął na mnie kątem oka. - Chciałbym żebyśmy się spotkali - powiedziałem cicho. Odłożył długopis i westchnął cicho. - Niall.. Też bym chciał ale.. Mam teraz dużo roboty. Zmieniam pracę i- - W porządku. Rozumiem - uśmiechnąłem się słabo. Znamy się już kilka miesięcy, rozmawiamy regularnie, przed kamerką czy przez SMSy robimy coś więcej, ale to nie jest prawdziwe. W pewnym sensie w ogóle. Chciałbym go dotknąć, przesunąć dłonią po policzku z lekkim zarostem. Pogłaskać go po torsie pokrytym tatuażami.. Albo zrobić coś całkiem.. więcej. Chciałem by był moim pierwszym. Ale byłem tylko dzieciakiem, a on był dorosłym mężczyzną. ×Zayn× Wpatrywałem się w tego małego blondyneczka którego codziennie widziałem na ekranie komputera. - Tatusiu? Kto by pomyślał że za tymi wielkimi, niebieskimi oczami kryje się niewyżyty seksualnie chłopak, który potrzebuje by nazywać kogoś Tatusiem. I to ja byłem tym szczęściarzem. - Tak kociaku? - Muszę kończyć. Amanda nie długo będzie a obiecałem jej że zrobię obiad. - Mam nadzieje że mnie nie spławiasz - uśmiechnąłem się do niego. - Nigdy Zayney - posłał mi jeden z tych swoich małych, uroczych uśmieszków. Rozłączyłem się i zamknąłem laptop. Przejechałem dłońmi po twarzy i wstałem od stołu zgarniając papiery. - Już jestem! - usłyszałem jak Liam wchodzi do domu. Posłał mi szeroki uśmiech i podszedł do mnie, pocałował mnie czule - Mam dosyć pracy a to dopiero wtorek. Jak spędziłeś swój wolny dzień skarbie? - spytał idąc do sypialni. Patrzyłem na niego, zastanawiając się czy mój chłopak choć trochę, minimalnie podejrzewa że całe dnie gdy go nie ma lub gdy jest na wyjeżdzie uskuteczniam mój romans z piętnastoletnim Niallem? - Praca, uzupełniałem dokumenty - odparłem idąc za nim. Stał bez koszulki, w samych bokserkach na środku pokoju. Zrobił kilka kroków w moją stronę i złapał mnie za policzki, pocałował. - Zamęczysz się. Kto to widział żeby wolne dni poświęcać pracy? - Co innego mam do roboty skoro to ciebie nie ma całe dnie? - położyłem dłonie na jego talii i spojrzałem mu w oczy. - Spróbuję wziąć urlop, spędzimy kilka dni razem. A teraz.. Mam ci wynagrodzić to że mnie nie ma w domu? - spytał uśmiechając się w ten swój wspaniały sposób i opadając na kolana. • ×Niall× Z przygryzioną wargą patrzyłem jak Zayn znowu jest niedostępny na skype. Wysłałem mu kilka SMSów ale na żaden nie odpowiedział. Telefonów w ogóle nie odbierał. Wyszedłem z Harrym do znajomych bo potrzebowałem wreszcie odłożyć komputer i wyjść z pokoju, bo Zayn chyba nie zamierzał się odezwać w najbliższym czasie. To była czyjaś impreza urodzinowa, mimo iż prawie wszyscy mieli nie więcej niż 16 lat (w tym ja i Harry którzy mieliśmy jedyne 15) impreza przelewała się alkoholem, którego swoją drogą nie lubiłem. Siedziałem na kanapie popijając z kubeczka colę. Obok mnie usiadła dziewczyna. Była naprawdę mała, z ciemnym makijażem i kubeczkiem piwa które próbowało uciec. - Hej - uśmiechnęła się do mnie szeroko a ja z grzeczności odwzajemniłem uśmiech - Jestem Carter. Carter Cook. - Niall. Niall Horan - podałem jej rękę. Nagle ni z tego ni z owego zaczęła mi opowiadać o swoim byłym chłopaku, a na koniec rzuciła się by mnie pocałować - Hej, przestań, mam chłopaka - odsunąłem ją od siebie. Spojrzała na mnie z szeroko otwartymi oczami i jęknęła. - Cholera! Wszyscy przystojni i uroczy to geje! Ale ja mam pecha! - powiedziała wstając. Westchnąłem cicho. Wieczorem gdy wróciłem do domu zobaczyłem wiadomość od Zayna na skype. Od Niazkilam: "Kociaku, gdzie jesteś?" Do Niazkilam: "Byłem na imprezie. A gdzie ty byłeś przez ostatnie kilka dni?" Od Niazkilam: "Przeprowadzałem się, jutro zaczynam nową pracę" Do Niazkilam: "Powodzenia" Do Niazkilam: "Napisz wrażenia i opowiedz mi o swoim pierwszym dniu" Od Niazkilam: "Śpij dobrze księżniczko" Do Niazkilam: "Ty też Tatusiu"

#RandomStranger #Ziall

[floralguccistyles]

epilogue

...he probably loves you

After four months of dating Niall, our families and friends still couldn’t believe it. 

Apparently, Niall’s feelings had only been apparent to my sisters, because when we told our parents that we were dating, they had stared at us with supportive confusion. Niamh had mourned the loss of the five hundred dollars four our Jamaica trip, but she had thrown an arm around my shoulders and congratulated me. And then, in a surprising turn of events, had started crying when Patrick announced he couldn’t contain himself anymore and proposed to her shortly after Niall and I had made our announcement. 

Niall had just smiled his beautiful smile at me and pulled me closer into his side, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“I’ve just realized!” His mom shouted in the middle of our movie. It was Greg’s pick tonight, so naturally he had chosen a Disney movie that Theo would actually be interested in. His wife had already dozed off to sleep, pregnant with number two and according to Greg, “unable to stay awake for more than five minutes.”

“Christ, Mum,” Greg complained, jumping from her loud exclamation.

“We can get Rose and Niall couples gifts for their birthdays!”

Niall raised his brow. I was curled up against him, my own eyes falling shut every couple of moments. The new job working for Eric’s brand was exhilarating and exciting, but it was a lot of work getting a start up business off the ground. Often, I would come home late and simply collapse on my couch while Niall took pity on me and made me dinner.

“Mum, our birthdays are five days away. Have you not gotten us anything yet?” he joked, his thumb running back and forth across my arm.

“You’ve always been hard to shop for,” his mum said simply, waving us off, her brain looking like it was going a million miles a minute with the new possibility of a couple’s present. “Not you though, Rose. You’re an angel to shop for.”

I grinned up at Niall. “I’m an angel,” I whispered.

His nose wrinkled. “Whatever.” But he quickly kissed my nose, ignoring Violet’s protest against PDA.

Violet was sitting on the floor by my feet, her nose buried in her phone as she waited on a text from the cute guy in her summer anatomy class she had a crush on. She had been hesitant to tell me about him, but three weeks ago, at one of our weekly-Thursday lunches, she confessed that he’d asked her to study with him. After hearing that, I had pushed and demanded she show me a picture and tell me his name.

He seemed nerdy and sweet. His name was Arjun, and he had helped her study for the final, where he stammered his way through the entirety of their study session before blurting out that he thought she was pretty and wanted to take her on a date.

They had been texting each other back and forth since. 

“Don’t make a big deal out of this,” she had told Lily and I while we gushed over how cute it was that she had a crush on someone, especially after her good friend started dating the last guy she’d had feelings for. 

Lily, on my other side, was leaning on the arm of the couch, her eyes slowly blinking in and out of sleep. She officially had her law degree and was going through what her coworkers lovingly called “Hell Year.” Her first year of being a lawyer and dealing with all the shitty cases was getting to her. However, she still managed to drag herself to our weekly lunches and had even mentioned that she had decided to go on a weekend getaway to London with Carmen, her coworker.

Violet caught me looking at her phone and shielded it from my view. I just playfully kicked her side.

After the movie, Niall drove us back to my apartment. It was nothing special, just a one bedroom, one bath. But it was mine. And while I still didn’t sleep all the way through the night except on the nights when Niall stayed over, I was working on it. I unlocked the door and let the both of us in, kicking off my shoes and flipping the light switch on.

Before I could take another step, Niall’s arms were around my waist and his mouth was on mine. I would never get tired of his kisses, of the way his hands would tease under the hem of my shirt and touch my heated skin. He always kissed with an eagerness, the kind of happiness that only someone who had been in love for a long time possessed. 

“It’s so hard to sit next to you at family functions,” he sighed out against my lips. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Unlike my mother, I already got your birthday gift.”

“If you say my birthday gift is sex with you, I might actually have to hit you.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “That would be your birthday gift to me, Rosebud.” 

I knew he didn’t mean anything by it. We hadn’t taken that final leap into our physical relationship yet. He was cautious and I was still unsure it was something I was ready for after my incident with Kent. The group I had been attending had been a huge help and I got coffee with Wendi and Carlos (two sexual assault survivors I had met and befriended at group) occasionally. Still, there was a small part of me that wondered if I would ever truly get over it.

And I wondered if Niall resented that.

He saw the look on my face and his smile melted away. “I didn’t mean it like that, Rosebud. You know that,” he said softly, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

“I know,” I replied, “I know. I’m sorry I’m a piece of work.”

He shook his head, his arms encircling me and pulling me into his body. “You are not a piece of work. You’re the girl I love and will continue to love, no matter what boundaries you set. You know that. Nothing could make me love you less.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder, letting out a contented sigh. Every time he told me he loved me, I got butterflies in my stomach and my lungs stopped working properly. “You staying over tonight?”

“If you want me here.”

I rolled my eyes. “I always want you here, Niall.” 

He kissed me again, his lips soft and gentle. “Mind if I shower really quick?”

“Go ahead. I’m gonna make some hot chocolate.”

I watched him walk up the stairs, a smile on my face when he turned back to wink at me. When I heard the shower start up in ym small bathroom, I turned towards my kitchen and grabbed two disposable coffee cups and a Sharpie. Niall liked his hot chocolate made with the little chocolate sticks I bought at the store, so I poured milk into the saucepan and heated it before depositing one of the little sticks inside. He was also a big baby who demanded the little marshmallows, so I grabbed the bag from my pantry and set them on the counter to add to his drink later.

My heart was pounding. I had been planning this for a while, but just tonight felt confident enough to do it. So I poured his hot chocolate into his cup with shaking hands and raised the Sharpie to the side of the cup, scribbling down the message. I still had pictures of all the notes he’d written me, including the one from this morning, when he had written “love you more than you know, Rosebud.”

And he did. He loved me more than I could ever comprehend. The four months being with him, he had never failed to show me just how much. He held me when I woke up with a nightmare, kissed me on the forehead when I was frustrated with work, held my hands when I got home from group. But I’d realized the things he’d done for me before, too. Like picking me up when Lily couldn’t, staying on the phone with me when I asked it of him, always making me laugh. 

Niall Horan truly loved me. More than I’d ever been loved.

And I needed him to know that his feelings were reciprocated.

I heard him before I saw him. He was loud as he walked over my hardwood floors, chattering on about some thought he had in the shower. I should have been a better girlfriend and listened properly, but my hands were still shaking and I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest and run away. I turned, catching sight of him in his comfy black sweats and a white tee with that signature grin on his face.

“I forgot my shampoo at my place, so I used yours and now I smell like a lovely lilac spring.”

Just like that, my nerves evaporated. I didn’t know how Niall did that, make me so sure of myself, but he did. This man loved me. And I loved him. He deserved to know how much and not have me chicken out at the last minute. 

I walked over to him, giving him a little sniff. “Very nice, very manly.”

“Nothing manlier than using my girl’s shampoo. Just shows how much I love her.”

“Is that what it does?” I asked playfully, reaching his cup out towards him. He took it in his hand, bringing it up to sip at it.

“Hey, you put in the little marshmallows this time,” he commented happily, taking another drink before he pulled the cup back. His large thumb covered my small writing, but he caught the tail of the ‘y’ and maneuvered his hand so he could read it. I saw the moment the words caught up with him, the moment he registered what I had written.

I love you more than you know.

“Rosebud…” His voice was delicate, like it could shatter in a single moment. “Do you mean it?”

In lieu of a response, I took the hot chocolate cup out of his hands and set in on the coffee table. I grasped his face in my hands, giving him a watery smile. “Thank you for being patient with me. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything,” he breathed out. I felt honored and cherished when I saw the tears in his eyes just from my simple confession. “God, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. So much.”

The earth could have collapsed around us. The ground could have opened up and swallowed us whole. All that mattered was Niall as he surged forward and kissed me hungrily, his tongue delving into my mouth to tangle with mine. His hands were tightly wound in my hair, but didn’t pull or tug. He just held me there, like if he let me go I would dissipate. He’d never kissed me like this, but I’d never kissed him when he was a Niall who knew how much I loved him. And he’d never kissed the Rose that had finally stopped running and admitted her feelings to him.

“My birthday present to you feels shitty now.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled to the surface. “This wasn’t your birthday gift.”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “This was more. So much more.”

He kissed me again, his touch sure and unwavering. “Thanks for loving me, Rosebud,” he whispered, repeating my words from so many months ago. 

So I decided to repeat his back. “It’s the easiest thing in the world, Niall.”

~

Oh my god. Wildflower is over. I cannot believe this. This started as a random thought in my head one day because I needed a good friends to lovers but with a twist, and suddenly Rose was born. This is the first story I’ve finished on this blog and will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you to everyone for reading this little story and for all your support. I refuse to let go of Niall and Rose forever, so don’t be surprised if I write little drabbles for them, but I’m excited for what the future holds in terms of my writing. 

I give one big giant virtual hug to all of you. You don’t know how much you guys mean to me.

#wf #wildflower #1dff #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan au

[floralguccistyles]

trigger warning: This chapter mentions sexual harassment. It does not go into detail at all, but be warned

wildflower :: chapter four

...and takes you on a date

I was halfway through a salad when Niall called me.

“Don’t eat anything, I’m taking you out to lunch,” was my only greeting. My hand, positioned halfway between my bowl and my mouth and holding my fork, paused.

“Niall, I’m halfway done with a salad,” I said through a mouthful of lettuce.

“Well, stop eating it and come out to lunch with me. I was gonna stop by that smoothie place you like and grab some for us. And maybe a doughnut too.”

I set my fork down and swallowed my mouthful before answering. “What’s the occasion? Smoothies and doughnuts are celebration foods.”

I tried to remember if there was anything we were celebrating. Our birthdays were the twelfth and thirteenth of September, respectively, and it was only teetering on the end of May. He would have told Lily and me if he was up for a promotion, so I knew it wasn’t anything related to his job. 

“I just want to see my Rosebud. Is that a crime?”

My eyes travelled to the salad I was eating. It was filled with spinach and kale and was definitely healthier for me than a smoothie and a doughnut, but it also looked limp and sad in comparison. “Alright, but only because this salad is making me sad now after the promise of Matilda’s sweets.”

He laughed, the sound sending a little thrill through me. I loved making people laugh, but making Niall laugh was better somehow. His full-bodied laugh made me feel light and happy, like by making him laugh I was doing the world a favor because it meant they got to hear it. 

“Deal. I can be at your place in ten?”

“Sounds good. I’ll be ready.” 

Lily was working most of the day with her coworker for a big case, so I figured Niall was just lonely. He hadn’t been by this morning to drive to work with her, and I felt the absence of him just as much as I felt Lily’s absence. It was funny how Niall had weaved himself into our lives so completely that I felt the loss of him when I didn’t see him for a everyday.

I had managed to shimmy into jeans and a cardigan and fix my mess of tangled hair when I heard Niall’s key in the door. “‘M here, Rose!”

“Hi,” I managed to spit out through the rubber band in my mouth, held with my teeth. I had half my hair up in my hands to try and put in a semi-presentable messy bun. “Almost ready.”

“Matilda’s gonna be happy we’re visiting her,” he said, walking over to me and holding out his hand. With a gentle movement, he took the rubber band from between my teeth and held it for me. “You look nice.”

“I’m not wearing makeup and my hair is atrocious.” I raised a brow at him, reaching out to take the band from him so I could secure my hair. “But thank you. That’s sweet of you.” After my hair was situated, I was able to take him in fully, noticing that he was wearing the pretty blue color I always loved seeing on him. “Hey, you’re wearing the shirt I love.”

His cheeks tinged pink. “Figured I should look nice when you were going to look undoubtedly beautiful.”

“He’s got the compliments flowing today,” I joked, poking his cheek with my index finger. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

The drive to Matilda’s shop was spent listening to Niall’s favorite band at the moment (this week it was a group called Bad Suns) and absentmindedly tapping the little rose charm necklace he still had hanging in his car. He grinned at me every time my finger touched the edge of it, commenting that it was his “good luck charm.” I rolled my eyes, but there was an emotion that swelled up in my chest and threatened to burst out, like a balloon filling and filling until eventually it popped.

“Welcome in, you two! I was hoping you’d come back soon.” Matilda’s shop smelled of freshly baked maple bars when we walked in, and the old woman leaned over the counter. “Fresh. Want one?”

“We’ll take two, please. And two glaze twists.” Niall reached in his pocket to pay for their doughnuts. 

“If you’re buying the doughnuts then I’m buying the smoothies,” I said when he inserted his card into the chip reader. “I feel bad you’re always paying for my stuff.”

“Don’t be. I just got a bonus at work.”

“Look at you, Mr. Moneybags.” Feeling a little nervous to ask, I picked at a loose thread on the edge of my shirt. “How is work? After...you know.”

Something dark crossed his face, and I couldn’t help the sharp shooting of sadness that struck my spine. I wanted to reach out and grab his face in my hands until he smiled again. When Niall smiled, all was right in the world. I shoved my hands in my pockets to resist doing just that, lest I look like a fool in the middle of a doughnut shop.

“He’s off the team and has lost his scholarship to the school. They’re thinking about expulsion. The counselor at the school wants her to press charges, but you know how the security is...they’ll say she needed to report it sooner. It sucks, Rose. It makes me want to put you, Lily, and Violet in a bubble and never let you out.”

“Put some of Matilda’s doughnuts in there and I’d be set,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. The corners of his lips turned up and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me in close as if he never wanted to let me go. Lily had done the same when I had first told her about Kent. She had pulled me in close and had walked around with her arm in mine every time we left the house. It made reaching on the top shelf of the grocery store to get my macaroni and cheese hard, but I never complained because it was nice to be taken care of by someone I knew cared about me.

Matilda handed us our doughnuts with a big smile and a forceful “you’d better come back here!” Niall handed me one of the maple bars, the dough still warm in my fingers as we exited the shop and walked across the street to the smoothie place.

Equipped with our doughnuts and smoothies (that I paid for, thank you very much), Niall suggested we walk down the strip of road. There were two antique stores, a little locally owned florist shop, and a travel agency building. I took him into the florist shop first, since I didn’t think the antique stores would let us in with our food and drinks. “What’s your favorite flower?” I asked absentmindedly, touching the petals of a pretty mum flower.

“I’ve never really thought about it. I know your favorites aren’t roses. You used to stick out your tongue at Violet whenever she picked out some for you for your birthdays.”

I laughed. “I liked the rosebuds you got me,” I defended.

“What is the Rosebud’s favorite flower, then?”

I thought about it for a moment, taking a sip of my smoothie. “Tulips. Pink tulips. They make me smile.”

“Then I like them, too. Whatever makes you smile is my favorite flower.”

My heart gave a little flutter. What was going on? I never reacted to Niall this way, in the way I imagined Lily reacted whenever she saw him. Is this what it felt like when she saw him coming to pick her up for their daily lunches? Heart taking off in her chest, stomach dropping with anticipation? I turned to look at pretty white hyacinths to avoid looking at him. I could feel my face heating up with the knowledge that had just presented itself.

I thought Niall was handsome. He was kind and funny and always made me feel safe. And now that I thought about it for more than two seconds...the thought of him with Lily made my skin crawl, like it was something that should never happen.

“I see sunflowers!” I shouted, startling him. I needed a distraction, something to take my mind off these new thoughts swirling around in my head. Bolting towards them, I managed to put some distance between us. 

As long as I put distance between us, I could take a moment to clear my head.

Fancying Niall was, for lack of a better word, stupid. He was destined to be with Lily. He loved Lily. And Lily loved him. Even though they hadn’t realized it yet (or at least, hadn’t admitted it to themselves yet), this was a fact. It was like saying that humans needed air to live and the grass was green. It was an inevitability. The sun would rise in the morning, set in the evening, and Niall Horan and Lily Fairbrough were meant to be together.

“Rosebud? You ready to go to the antique shop?” Niall appeared by my side, and I couldn’t help it. 

I screeched.

It wasn’t loud enough to embarrass myself totally, but it was enough for Niall to grin and start laughing, bending over at the waist. I wanted to beg him to stop laughing, not because I didn’t want him to laugh at me, but because his eyes became more blue and his laugh sent a fluttery feeling through me. “Jesus, didn’t know I would scare you, Rosebud.”

“I’m fine,” I stammered out. I then noticed he had disposed of our doughnut bag (because we had eaten them in less than a minute) and was holding something in his hand. When I processed what they were, I felt lightheaded. “Did...did you get me pink tulips?”

“Sure did. I’ll hold them while we hit the antique shops, if you want. You done with your smoothie?”

Okay, so I had three options.

Option one, I could act on these weird new feelings. I could randomly just step up to him right now and ask to kiss him (because obviously, I wasn’t going to kiss him without his consent). If he said no, which he would, I would back up and tell myself that he didn’t want me. Even though I already knew he didn’t want me, I would let this new knowledge wash over me until my little crush on him shriveled up and died.

Option two, I could wait it out. These feelings obviously couldn’t last forever, right? I knew he was Lily’s. Shouldn’t the knowledge of that make my heart turn away the thought of being with Niall? Surely I just had to wait for these feelings to go away. How long could they last, really?

Option three, I could beg Lily to finally confess her feelings to him, and beg Niall to finally make a move on her. Seeing them together and so in love would make these feelings disappear in an instant. My eyes and brain would go, “see, they belong together” and tell my heart to shut the fuck up.

“Y-yeah,” I said, stumbling over my words and I handed him my smoothie cup. 

He smiled and took it, tossing it in the nearest trash can before gesturing his head towards the door. “C’mon, then, you numpty. What’re you just standing around for?”

I was helpless to him as we walked to the first antique store. I had gone shopping here when I had first moved into my apartment. I was pretty sure I had a couple of old records and a couple of accent photos that I had gotten here. Niall immediately hitched a right and went to the furniture, looking through ugly but fun velvet yellow couches and creepy looking porcelain dolls. “Let’s play a game,” he suggested.

“Please don’t say that while you’re standing next to a doll that looks creepier than Jigsaw.”

He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Let’s look around and pick out something for one another. Meet back here when we’re done?”

I wondered if he knew how much I loved things like this. I liked going to locally owned shops and seeing what people’s imaginations had come up with. Even if I wasn’t particularly interested in what they were selling, the business and marketing major in me could appreciate when someone was passionate about what they were selling. In fact, this was a perfect date for me.

Which, naturally, made me want to hyperventilate. I had just discovered these pesky feelings for Niall and he was already unknowingly taking me on my version of a perfect date? Still, I had a hard time saying no to Niall. I agreed to his little game and watched in amusement as he shot off to the right, headed towards the section of the antique store that sold glass figurines. I decided to start with the basement level, figuring they might have some old magazines about sports teams. However, my mind wasn’t into this like I would have been on any other day.

Even Niamh and Patrick believed Niall was going to end up with Lily.

But there was one person who hadn’t.

Making sure no one was around, I pulled out my phone. Luckily, my sister was glued to her cell and she picked up on the second ring.

“Hello? Why are you calling me?”

“Nice to hear from you too. About the Niall and Lily bet—”

“Christ, I thought you had something important to tell me.”

“This is important!” I hissed out, making a poor old woman who was browsing some records jump. I sent her an apologetic look before continuing my conversation with Violet. “Why did you bet that they weren’t gonna end up together?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to know.” Shouldn’t that be answer enough?

I heard her let out an annoyed sigh on the other end of the line. “I don’t know, Rose. It’s obvious he doesn’t fancy her. They’re just...friendly.”

“But can you give me a specific example?”

She was quiet for a moment. And then she said, “Has Niall said something to you?”

“What? No.”

“Of course not. Not sure why I thought differently. Anyway, this is a pointless conversation and I’m trying to study for biology. Can you have an existential crisis later?”

“You’re a twit.”

“Whatever. Bye.” 

I was met with the dial tone and I cursed Violet, shoving my phone back into my pocket. What did she mean, asking me if Niall had told me something? Were he and Lily together? I’d like to think he would have told me if they were dating, and if he hadn’t, Lily definitely would have. And then there was that night when we were talking about the girl he liked. It described Lily perfectly. 

I halfheartedly searched through the old books and magazines until I found a cool baseball book that discussed Jackie Robinson and had a fun looking baseball card taped to the inside cover. He could put it on that empty space on his shelf in his office. I hooked it underneath my arm and meandered back to where Niall and I had agreed to meet.

He was standing there already, waiting happily with my tulips in his hand. When I made it back to his side, I couldn’t help but smile even though my heart felt like it might collapse. “You’re already done?” I asked. I had expected him to take longer than I had.

“I am. You first.”

I handed him the book. “I saw that empty spot on your shelves in your office when I was there and thought this might fit pretty well there.” 

He smiled. “Thanks, Rosebud. It’s perfect.”

His object was a golden desk nameplate, with the words “Best Manager Ever” scrawled in decorative script in dark black calligraphy. I raised an eyebrow, but took the nameplate from his hands. “Thanks, Ni.”

“You’re sweet for pretending you know what it is. They obviously didn’t have one that said marketing team member, so manager was the best I could get.”

I laughed. “Thanks, but marketing team member would have been false, too. You should have found one that said receptionist.”

“That’s actually why I brought you out for lunch today. Remember that meeting I had with that athlete? The one who wants to create an eco-friendly line of equipment and uniforms?”

“Yeah! It sounded really cool. Did it go well?”

“It went fantastically. So fantastic, in fact, that he was offered a start-up donation and needs a good marketing team to spread word about the products when they’re out. And...I maybe told him that I had an amazing friend who was aces at marketing. If you want it, you’ve got a job.” He must have seen the stunned look on my face, so he continued in a rush. “You can finally quit the hotel and do what you love again, Rose. I know you’re great at it. You would be amazing. I know it may not be the exact business you want to work with, but it’s a good alternative for now, yeah?”

I was so shocked that I barely registered the door opening behind me, the little bell above it letting out a tinkling sound. We were standing in the middle of the walkway, so I looked at the patron to apologize.

The words died in my throat.

“Rose Fairbrough.” Kent Tanner had not changed in the year since I’d seen him. In any nightmares or late-night fears, I had imagined him looking more threatening and scary. But he was still just an average looking man, with his straight brown hair and dimpled-chin. He had maybe put on a pound or two, but not enough to make much of a difference in his stature. “Nice to see you.”

My throat went dry. Niall knew Kent as the guy who had fired me from Barkley’s, so he narrowed his eyes in Kent’s direction. If he knew the whole truth, he would probably have Kent bleeding on the ground in five seconds. 

“How’ve you been?” Kent asked, leaning against a bookstand next to him. It was incredibly arrogant and entitled and screamed Kent. “Where are you working now? Barkley’s sure does miss you.”

He reached out to put his hand on my shoulder in what I’m sure was a friendly pat, but I flinched away and moved closer to Niall. I felt Niall’s welcome embrace around my waist, pulling me into his side and looking down at me to make sure I was okay. “It doesn’t matter where I’m working,” I said, wanting my words to sound fierce and powerful, but all they did was shake and stumble.

“Well, if you ever want a job at Barkley’s again, let me know. We miss you, Rose.”

I heard the implied words. If I wanted a job at Barkley’s again, his proposition was still open. It made me shudder even closer to Niall. “I’m fine, Kent. Excuse me.”

Quickly placing Niall’s nameplate for me on the bookshelf, I rushed out of the antique store. The air outside seemed to clear my mind a little, sending waves of cool to my overheated body. The wind felt nice against my arms, like Mother Nature was doing her best to tell me that she supported me. 

“Are you okay, Rose?” Niall asked in a worried voice, but I would have known he was concerned just because he hadn’t called me Rosebud. “What a dick. He’s such a pompous arse.” 

It all came crashing down when Niall reached out to rub my arm comfortingly. Still surprised and taken off guard by Kent, I winced and moved away. Niall’s eyes widened in surprise, and I knew why. I had never shrugged off a touch from Niall before. “Sorry,” I immediately said, my voice coming out rougher and more emotional than I’d wanted it to. “Sorry,” I repeated.

“That’s not a normal reaction to someone who fired you, Rose. What happened with that guy?” His voice was soft, but firm. I knew that we wouldn’t be leaving here without me telling him what truly happened with Kent. Either that, or I could continue the lie and have Niall never trust me again. And that simply wasn’t an option. Crush or not, I couldn’t deal with myself if Niall decided I wasn’t someone he could confide in.

“Can we walk and talk?” I asked gently, wanting to put as much distance between Kent and I as possible.

“‘Course, Rose. C’mon.” He was careful to not wrap his arm around me like he normally would, and it brought tears to my eyes. While I wanted his touch, I appreciated that he understood I couldn’t handle it just yet.

The farther and farther away we got from the antique store and Kent, the easier it felt to breathe. But it was hard to talk through the lump in my throat as I explained to Niall why I had really lost my job at Barkley’s. I was careful not to focus on him, but I knew his hands were curling into fists and his brow was furrowed in frustration. 

“That’s why Violet and I were arguing in the kitchen at our last movie night. She thinks I should go to her school psychiatrist.”

“I think so, too.”

“I don’t want to go to a psychiatrist,” I said helplessly, wanting Niall to see things my way. “If I go to a psychiatrist, that means I’m not...normal Rose anymore. Besides, I know it could have been a lot worse than it was.”

“That doesn’t matter, Rose!”

I had never heard Niall yell at me in frustration before. I had heard him yelling across the bar to me when he was blackout drunk, I had heard him yelling at me from down the hallway to come look at something on his laptop, but I had never heard the tone he was using with me now. I stepped back in surprise, nearly tripping over myself.

“Knowing that he did that to you...that absolute piece of shit. I don’t care if he didn’t touch you, Rose, it’s still despicable and is gonna leave insecurities and shit that you can’t physically see, but you’ll carry around with you. And I think instead of letting it fester, you should have someone clinical talk to you about it. Someone who you aren’t personal with.”

“Well, thanks for your opinion on how I should handle my own sexual harassment, but I’m going to handle it my way.” I stubbornly crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. “God, you’re being just as bad as Violet. I didn’t tell you about Kent because I wanted your advice, Niall. I just needed someone to listen.”

“You’re right, I shouldn’t tell you how to handle it. That’s not right of me, and I’ll apologize for it. But Rose, can’t you see that Violet, Lily, and I are trying to get you to do this because we care about you? I mean Christ, you...you don’t even know.”

“I know how much you guys care about me. I appreciate it.” Reaching forward, I squeezed his arm with my hand. “And I love you so much for it, Ni. But let me handle things my way, okay?”

“But will you? Will you handle it? Can you at least call Violet’s psychiatrist?”

Hindsight is a funny thing. If I had known how this conversation was going to go down, I might have changed things. I might have tried to de-escalate things. But suddenly I was getting annoyed with him again, and in my frustration I didn’t act the way I should have when he told me what he had.

“Jesus, Niall, stop it. Stop trying to play the hero. I’m fine.”

“Don’t tell me you’re fine, Rose. You have to sleep in the same room as someone because you’re terrified of sleeping alone. You turned into a mess when he walked into the store, and sometimes you flinch away when I pat your shoulder or Patrick tries to hug you.”

Hearing the things that were wrong with me, the things that made me a burden, hurt. Hearing them from Niall made it ten times worse. Hearing them from Niall when I had recently discovered these pesky little feelings for him made it a hundred times worse. So, I did what I always did. I pushed. “You aren’t my boyfriend, Niall. Stop acting like it.”

I wished I could take back the words as soon as they left my mouth. He looked absolutely defeated, like I had just crumbled him into a paper ball and put him through a shredder. “No, I’m not your boyfriend, Rose. I’m just someone who has been in love with you for over ten years. But I forgot. God forbid someone actually gives a shit about you.”

And then he was gone, shoving cab money into my hand to pay for my way home before he disappeared. He wasn’t walking back in the direction of his car, so I could only assume he was walking to clear his head. I found the idea as appealing as he did, but I couldn’t move.

I’m just someone who has been in love with you for over ten years.

The only thought my brain could come up with was, what?

I might have called an Uber, but I don’t remember it. My brain was on autopilot, going through the motions of getting back to Lily’s apartment. All I knew was that I had, somehow, hurt Niall so much more than I’d realized. And I’d never wanted to hurt Niall. 

“Hey,” Lily said when I walked into the apartment. She was sitting on the couch in her comfy clothes, so she had to have been home from work for at least an hour. She had a ritual. “Niall told me you were coming home. He asked me to text him that you made it home safe.” Her voice was cautious, and I wondered how much of our argument Niall had talked to her about.

“Did you know?” I asked helplessly.

For once, Lily didn’t have all the answers. Or, at least, she didn’t have the answer I wanted to hear. Her lips clamped shut and she nodded slowly. “He’s...he’s been in love with you for a long time, Rose.”

“And no one told me?” I mumbled, feeling like my entire body was going to crack open and sink into the floor.

“Rose...you push people away when they love you. Mom, Dad, Violet, even Pat and Niamh. The only one you haven’t pushed away is me, and sometimes I still feel like eventually you will. You tell me everything that happens to you, but you never tell me what you’re feeling. You only let people see the surface of you, Rose.”

It was my fault. That’s what she was saying. It was my fault that no one really knew me. I was too hard to open up, too slow to be vulnerable. 

“How about you come and we watch a movie?” Lily asked, worrying her lower lip. “You look like you need some rest.”

“I do,” I agreed halfheartedly. “But not here.”

And then I turned out of Lily’s apartment and got in my car.

I turned through the familiar winding streets, past the park, past the record store. There was a parking space right in front, like it was fate that I would be there. I put my car into park and made my way up the front steps, pushing my key into the lock.

The lights in my apartment were off, but I didn’t bother turning them on. I just made my way over to my bed, the bed I hadn’t slept in for over a year, and sunk into the mattress.

I didn’t sleep one bit.

#wildflower #wf #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan au #1dff

[floralguccistyles]

Long time no post! Things in my life have been crazy, from health problems with both myself and family members, to the deaths of both my grandpa and my cat, and work/school has been insane. I hope y’all forgive me and I hope this makes up for it. Let me know what you think!

wildflower :: chapter three

...and brings you flowers

Considering my morning started with having to deal with a customer whose key card didn’t work to get into their room, I could assume today was going to be a rough day. 

Things only continued to spiral downhill when I had finished getting the key card situation handled only to walk into the kitchen and find the coffee machine was broken. One of the chefs jokingly told me to make myself a cup of tea, but I think he got a little scared when my lower lip jutted out and started wobbling in frustration. I wasn’t going to cry, but that didn’t mean the tears wouldn’t stubbornly well up behind my eyes. 

If that wasn’t enough, on my break I had stubbed my toe on the corner coming around from checking up on one of the rooms. I had sworn very, very loudly in front of a family of four with two kids under twelve and the parents had glared at me. I hoped they had the decency to see that I was having a bad day and wouldn’t tell my supervisor. 

All I wanted to do was curl up in bed with a good book, a rom-com playing in the background, and maybe some soup. 

My day was only made worse when I saw Violet walking through the lobby doors as I was leaving. 

“Great,” I muttered under my breath, letting out a huff of irritated breath. She had her book bag thrown over her shoulder, holding onto the strap on her shoulder so tightly it was a wonder it didn’t break. “What’re you doing here?” I asked in a whisper, not wanting my boss to hear me talking to anyone the way I was talking to Violet. Unfortunately, my boss Clara was an only child and wouldn’t understand the sister love-hate bond Violet and I had. 

“Nice to see you too.” Violet looked frustratingly put together, as she always did. She had definitely sucked up the good looks that had obviously skipped the poor middle child (me). Her long hair was curled delicately and though she didn’t wear much makeup, she had never needed it. She had eyelashes models would kill for. “I was wondering if we could go get coffee or something.”

“Coffee? We don’t do coffee.”

“Christ, Rose, is it really that much of an inconvenience to hang out with your sister?” she asked incredulously, rolling her eyes at my reluctance. “I thought we could talk, hang out, get some coffee out of it. It’s not the end of the world.”

I had obviously done something to piss off whatever higher being existed because the icing on the cake to my terrible day was dealing with Violet’s snark. To simply stop her from complaining (because she was world-class at it), I sighed. “Fine. But you’re buying.”

“You’re the one with the full-time job!”

“Do you want to get coffee or not?”

“I’m regretting my choice now,” Violet said simply, but gestured towards the door of the building. She had an old car Niall had actually helped her find when she had started college, so we piled into it. I didn’t know what coffee place she was taking us to, but I decided I didn’t care. I hadn’t had any coffee this morning, and I was in desperate need. Plus, if Violet had a hundred dollars to make on the bet with Lily and Niall, she had enough money to buy me a four dollar cup of coffee.

She pulled into a little coffee house that was close to the campus Niall worked at. I wondered briefly if he frequented it when he worked. When we walked in, the smell of coffee beans hit my nose and gave me a small reprieve from the terrible day. “What do you want? Their caramel stuff is really good.”

“Whatever you get is fine.” Though Violet had questionable taste in most things, her taste in coffee was impeccable. She nodded and walked to the bar to order while I found us a place to sit, close to the window in case I needed to zone out and have something pretty to look at if Violet got too annoying. When she returned, she set my coffee in front of me and took a seat, her chair scraping loudly against the floor and making the both of us wince. I took a small sip of the coffee (something caramel, as she had suggested) and instantly felt ten times better. “This is the only good thing to happen to me all day.”

Violet rolled her eyes, mumbled something about me being overdramatic underneath her breath. “Lily thinks I need to apologize.”

“I think so too.”

“I don’t.”

I gestured to the coffee shop. “Then what’s the point of this?”

“You bit my head off when I was trying to explain last time. I was hoping you’d sit and actually have a civil conversation with me about things.” When I didn’t respond, just gestured for her to continue, she did. “I didn’t get you the psychologist’s number because I think you’re pathetic or that you can’t handle shit. I got it for you because no woman should ever be propositioned for sex and it’s absolutely disgusting that the prick tried to do some sort of quid-pro-quo and got nothing more than a slap on the wrist. And if I’m feeling that, as a third party, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling about it. So I got you her number in case you wanted to talk.”

“But you didn’t ask me beforehand. You went behind my back.”

“Because that’s what people do when they care about you, Rose!” Violet exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Christ, if I thought it would be this much work, I would have just saved myself the trouble. I just think it’s shitty he’s getting away with it, so I thought maybe you’d want to talk to someone. It’s not a problem that you can’t sleep without someone there, but don’t you think you need to analyze why? Especially because you never had a problem with it before. And you’re still paying too much money for rent in a flat you don’t even live in anymore.”

There was no point in arguing with her because she, frustratingly, wasn’t wrong. It was shitty that Kent was getting away with it and I probably was stupid for paying money for an apartment I wasn’t staying in. But I had gotten that trademark Fairbrough stubbornness, and I wanted to handle things my own way, as I had always done in my life.

“I appreciate it and can understand where you were coming from.” The words felt like lead on my tongue because I was a prideful person. “But I honestly don’t think I need to talk to someone. If I do think I need help, you’ll be the first person I’ll call.”

“We both know that’s a lie. You’d sooner call Lily or Niall before you’d call me,” she replied in a snarky voice, taking a sip of her latte and staring out the window.

I didn’t bother correcting her. 

“Look,” she said after a couple of moments, all of which were spent sipping at our drinks and not talking to one another, “will you just take the card? You don’t have to do anything with it, but it’ll make me feel better if you just take it.”

“Fine. But only because you bought me coffee.”

When I returned home to Lily’s flat, the psychologist’s number in my bag, I toed off my shoes and flung myself onto the couch. I wouldn’t nap because then sleeping tonight would be even more difficult, but I did just close my eyes and rest there for several moments while the bad day crashed over me. Distantly, I heard the sound of Lily’s front door swinging open and groaned out to her, letting her know I was on the couch.

“Rosebud, you okay?”

I turned my body around at Niall’s voice, nodding my head slightly. “Hi, Niall. Where’s Lily?”

“One of her clients called. They’ve got to meet her at the prison.” He moved my feet, sliding his body underneath before he deposited them back on his lap. 

“I had the worst day,” I answered his question a little late, sighing out as he gave me sympathetic eyes. “I think I might meet with my landlord next week. My lease is up next month and...I mean, I’m basically living here. I just don’t know if I want to let it go yet. It was the first apartment I rented on my own. And I don’t know if Lily wants me around forever…”

“Lily will let you stay with her as long as you need, you know that.” He reached forward and started massaging my calf, causing me to close my eyes sleepily underneath his touch. “Why was your day bad?”

“People at work. Then the coffee machine was broken. Then Violet came in.”

He laughed, but it was faraway. I was slipping into unconsciousness, and I knew if Niall didn’t stop massaging my leg, I was going to drift off. “You’ve got to stop,” I told him, pulling one of my legs away to poke him with my toe.

His hands hesitantly left my other leg. “Why? Uncomfortable?”

“Too comfortable,” I corrected, shaking my head. “I don’t want to nap and have a shitty night of sleep tonight.

“Just nap, Rosebud. You look like you need it. Do you work tomorrow?”

I shook my head, because thankfully I had tomorrow off. 

“Then, c’mon.” He moved my feet again and stood up, holding out a hand for me to take. I groggily grabbed it in my own, allowing him to pull me to my feet and lead me to my room. I flopped myself onto my bed and smiled as he tucked me in, patting down the blankets so they would stay put. It was only when I was underneath my covers that I realized how much the day had taken out of me. Any morning without coffee always exhausted me, but meeting with Violet had just done me in.

“How was your day?” I asked sleepily, reaching out and lacing our fingers together. He squeezed my fingers. “Are you feeling a little better from the sexual assault situation?”

He sighed. “I’m never going to feel good about it, Rosebud. The fact that any of my athletes could do that to someone...it tore me up inside.”

I decided Niall needed a nap almost as much as I did. I patted the spot next to me, inviting him to rest with me on the other side of my bed. He sent me a small smile, pushing off his shoes from his feet and lowering himself onto my bed, over the covers since he didn’t get nearly as cold as I did. 

“Rest with me,” I requested softly. “We could both use the sleep.”

He stared at me for a few seconds. “You’re one of a kind, Rosebud.”

I smiled, snuggling closer to him. His arm came around to rest on my waist, pulling me closer to him until my skin was pressed against his skin.

We must have only napped for an hour or so, but I woke up before Niall did. He was knocked out onto my lavender pillow, a tiny bit of drool sneaking out of his open mouth. At least he didn’t snore as much as I apparently did. His entire body was curled, crunched up like even in sleep, his tension wouldn’t leave him. I realized when I stretched that our legs were slightly tangled together, his hand still on my waist. My skin was warm where his fingers touched.

Niall was truly, unfairly attractive. Now that I could look at him without the awkwardness of him realizing I was staring, I could easily admit that to myself. I had always known Niall was a handsome guy, but he was always unattainable. He was Lily’s. I had no business thinking he was attractive.

But his brown hair was fluffed on the right side where it pressed against my pillow, and he had an adorable sleeping face and I admitted to myself right then and there that Niall Horan was beautiful. The fact that he basically belonged to Lily didn’t change that, and it probably never would. 

“Stop staring at me,” he said softly, his lips curling up at the corners.

I jumped, not expecting his voice since I still believed he was in the middle of sleeping. “Jesus, don’t scare me like that. How’d you know I was staring?”

“I felt in my soul that there was a pair of beautiful big brown eyes on me, and look at that,” he said, opening his own beautiful big eyes and grinning, “I was right.”

“You’re full of shit, is what you are.” But I found myself leaning back down on my bed and quietly taking in the silence with him. Silence was never uncomfortable with Niall like it was with other people. “Thanks for napping with me.”

“Hopefully it made your bad day a little better.”

“It did.”

My phone buzzed on the nightstand and I sleepily reached for it, reading the text from Lily.

Getting dinner with Carmen. We’ve both had a shitty day and have to discuss some things about the case. Feel free to use anything in the fridge for dinner tonight!

“Want to go get some food?” I asked Niall, showing him the text from Lily. 

“Sure. I can go pick up some Nando’s, if you want.”

I groaned, leaning my head into his shoulder. “You are my knight in shining armor. The wind beneath my wings. An angel among us mere mortals.”

“You’re more dramatic than usual today. The chicken pita like usual?” He stood from the bed, readjusting his shirt that had been slightly wrinkled in our nap. As he ran his hands through his hair, I found myself distracted by his forearms, which were showcased by the rolled-up sleeves he was sporting. I’d never really noticed Niall’s arms before, but they were as gorgeous as the rest of him.

Had I mentioned how unfairly beautiful he was?

“Yes, please. I think I have some soda and ice cream. I can make us some floats?”

“You’ve got root beer?”

I wrinkled my nose. “I think so?”

He laughed at my uncertainty, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to the top of my head. “Alright. I’ll call in and go grab it really quick. See you in about thirty.”

“Thanks, Niall!”

“Anything for my Rosebud.”

I took the time he was gone to tidy up around the apartment a little. I wasn’t a messy person by any means, but with my bad day, I had left a little trail of Rose-messes on the couch and in the foyer, where I had deposited my shoes without a care in the world. The last thing I wanted was for Lily to come home and see my mess and decide she didn’t want me living with her. It was bad enough I still hadn’t found the necklace she had given me. Niall had scoured his place trying to find it, so I wondered if I had drunkenly taken it off at the bar that night with Niamh and Pat. Leaving her apartment a mess just felt like another strike against me. 

Niall returned about forty minutes later, ringing the doorbell because his hands were full of food. He grinned as I opened the door, reaching out his arm to hand me the food in the Nando’s bags. It was only after I had the food in my arms that I realized he was carrying another bag.

“What’d you get?” I asked, kicking the door shut with my foot as soon as he walked into the apartment. I set the food on the counter and got my phone out. “How much do I owe you? I can Venmo.”

“Put your fucking phone away,” he said, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. “I got you something.”

His hand dipped into the bag at his side and pulled out something green and leafy. It looked like flowers, but I couldn’t see any blooms. However, when he handed them to me, I could suddenly see the tiny little buds at the end of some of the stems. “Rose buds for my Rosebud!” he exclaimed happily. “I know you were having a bad day, so I thought—oof!”

His breath left his body when I crashed into him, hugging him around the waist so tightly I thought I might pop him like a balloon. I was embarrassed to feel tears well up in my eyes at the sweet gesture, but the truth was, he had already made my day ten times better just by hanging around. And no boy had ever bought me flowers before. 

“Don’t cry,” he said when he pulled away, giving me a smile and wiping underneath my eye with his thumb. “They were supposed to make you smile.”

“You’re just…” I trailed off, unable to find the words to perfectly describe the boy in front of me. “You are everything,” I decided, pulling him back into my arms, content to just hold him there for a little longer.

He chuckled, his breath stirring the hairs on my head. I felt him squeeze my shoulders, reminding me that this was real and he was here. “Not everything,” he argued softly, “just someone who cares about you.”

~

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

I nodded towards Niamh, who was currently freezing her ass off outside of my apartment. We had met up with my landlord to discuss me not living there when my lease was up. However, every time I thought about giving up my own little apartment, the first big purchase I had made as a working adult...it filled me with dread.

“You know you’re welcome to stay with me for free, Rose,” Lily added. She had found out Niamh planned to accompany me and had invited herself. It wasn’t a problem, since Niamh and Lily got along fairly well, but after Lily’s recent schemes with Violet to get me in to see a counselor, I was a little wary of going through with this while Lily was here. Mostly, I didn’t want her to see me burst into tears and then turn around and make a plan with Violet to kidnap me and take me to the therapist. “You don’t have to give up your place.”

But I did. I hated staying there at night, because I felt an uncomfortable crawling on my skin, like Kent was watching me somewhere. It was irrational of me to feel that way, but it didn’t stop the fear when I was alone at night. “It’s a waste of money,” I replied, and wondered if Lily and Niamh could hear the reluctance in my voice. “Giving it up is smart.”

“You want to at least go inside and start packing some things up?” Niamh asked. I could hear her teeth chattering. It wasn’t particularly cold outside, but Niamh always ran a little chillier than the average person. 

I probably should. While most of my stuff was at Lily’s now, it would still be nice to go in and see what things I still had in my apartment. The pretty jewelry holder my grandmother had given me was there, along with some shoes that I didn’t wear everyday. The orange lamp my mom had given me for my college dorm was sitting on my nightstand, with the cute little pink mosaics on it that I loved. But seeing that stuff would make me sad, especially because I didn’t want to give up that little space yet. 

Just because something was smart and right didn’t mean it was easy.

“No, I’m fine. Let’s just go to lunch.”

They shared a look with each other, but luckily didn’t push. Niamh because she wasn’t that kind of person, and Lily because she still felt bad about the whole Violet thing. 

Niall and Pat were meeting us for lunch, effectively making me the fifth wheel. However, if it meant I got my money, Niall could join us for every meal he wanted to; Pat was fun to have around. Niamh called an Uber to the little deli she often frequented when she was done with work and when the driver pulled up to the restaurant, Niall and Pat were already sitting outside.

“Morning ladies,” Pat said happily, pulling out the chair next to him for Niamh to sit. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. Niall had two open seats on either side of him, so I slid into one. “We already ordered your food.”

“You know my order?” I asked Pat, raising my brow. 

“No, but Niall does.”

I gave Niall a surprised look. Sure, he knew my Nando’s order because he usually picked it up for Lily and I, but I assumed he had only committed Lily’s order for the deli to memory. “Thanks, Ni. Did you get your usual roast beef?”

“You know me well,” he said, smiling. “I also got you some orange juice.”

Orange juice was my comfort drink. I liked having it when I was sad or nostalgic. When I gave him another surprised look, he shrugged.

“I know seeing your flat probably made you upset, so I figured you’d want some orange juice.”

Smiling softly, I reached over to give him a one-armed hug. I caught the tail end of a look that Niamh and Pat gave one another, their eyebrows furrowed as if they were trying to figure something out. They did this often; I joked that they were so in-tune with one another that they were of one mind. Before I could ask them what their looks meant, however, the server was setting down our drinks and food. Niall had been correct in my favorite sandwich, a turkey with Swiss cheese and extra oil and vinegar. He had also switched out my fries (or as he called them “chips” and playfully rolled his eyes when I said it wrong) for sweet potato fries, which were another weakness.

“Thanks, Ni,” Lily said when her own food arrived. She gave him a small peck on the cheek and I swore I saw dollar signs flash before my eyes.

There was something else, though. Something ugly that clawed at the front of my chest. I didn’t know what it was, but I’d never felt that way before, especially around Lily and Niall. I took a bite of my sandwich to distract me from it.

“How was the flat?” Niall asked.

I tried not to flinch at the thought of it, but a sour expression must have taken over my face. “It’s fine.”

“Sorry, Rosebud. I know you’re sad about leaving it.”

It was stupid to be getting so worked up over nothing but brick and wood, but I had put my all into making that little apartment feel like home. The canvas art that I had purchased at a little family-owned gallery hung perfectly above the tiny little fire place. Lily’s apartment didn’t have a fireplace for me to hang them over. Then there was the macrame plant holder that I had bought on Etsy that made me smile whenever I woke up to it because the sun from my window was always shining on it when my alarm went off. 

It was the first place that had been all mine. I didn’t mind sharing things with Lily, and I didn’t even mind sharing places with Violet. But that apartment had been Rose Fairbrough’s and no one else’s. 

It felt like I was losing a part of myself. 

Niamh seemed to notice the expression on my face and quickly changed the subject, prattling on about something else to keep the group occupied. I shot her a grateful smile. Freshman-year-me sure got lucky with Niamh as a roommate, and twenty-four-year-old-me was lucky that Niamh still wanted to be my friend. And through Niamh, I had met Pat, who never made me feel like a third-wheel when we all hung out. Though Niall and Lily were my people, Lily was my sister and Niall had been Lily’s best friend first. Niamh and Pat were, like my apartment, my own friends that I had made myself.

“I promised Violet I’d take her home from school and go shopping with her,” Lily said, looking at her phone after we had all finished eating. Her eyes caught mine. “I’m assuming you don’t want to come.”

I think I would rather have thrown myself off a bridge, but I didn’t tell Lily that. “I actually went to coffee with Violet earlier this week, so I’ve filled my quota.”

I felt better about denying this outing with them when Lily’s eyes lit up. “You guys got coffee this week? That’s wonderful!”

“It was fine. No big deal.” I had gotten free coffee out of it and Violet had only talked about the therapist for the first five minutes, so the trip actually hadn’t been as terrible as I had expected. 

“That’s a huge deal,” Lily said, smiling widely. “We’ll have to do another sister night soon.”

Niall covered his laugh with a cough when he caught the look on my face.

Lily said her goodbyes, kissing both mine and Niall’s cheeks before she was off. Niamh and Pat only stayed a couple more minutes before they followed behind Lily. That left Niall and I at the table by ourselves, finishing up our lunches.

“What’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?” he asked, giving me a charming smile. He collected our trash and deposited them into the bin, and I strangely watched his legs move as he did so. 

“Just hanging at the house. You?”

“Meeting with one of my athletes. He’s got an idea for eco-friendly sport equipment and he wants to run it by me.”

My eyebrows raised. “Wow. That’s incredible.”

“Yeah, I’m excited to hear about it. You need a ride home?”

I nodded and he led me to his car, a modest Toyota that he had bought as soon as he got the job at the college. When I slid into the passenger seat, I noticed something hanging from his rearview mirror.

“Hey! You found it!” I said excitedly, leaning forward and touching the tiny butterfly charm.

“Oh yeah, I did. I put it up there this morning to remind me to give it back to you. I like having it there. Makes me feel like you’re watching out for me when I’m driving.” He gently removed it from his rearview and handed it to me with a smile. 

“Thanks. Help me put it on?” I unhooked the clasp and wrapped the two sides around my neck. His fingers on my skin made me shiver, but I filed the reaction away for a time where I could dissect it later. 

He didn’t pull his hands away for several moments. I felt his breath on the back of my neck as one of his fingers softly poked at a spot on my flesh. “Hey,” he said softly, “you have a birthmark here. It’s shaped like a tree.”

“You’ve never noticed?” I asked, trying my best to clear my throat. My voice sounded suddenly throaty, like I had something caught in it. 

He chuckled, pulling away enough to have me feeling like I could breathe again. “I think I learn something new about you every time I see you, Rosebud. It’s impossible to know all of you.” I felt the car engine rumble as he started the car and pulled away from the curb.

“You know me better than most people do.”

“Yeah?” he asked, reaching out and tapping my knee. I found myself smiling at the gesture. It was so...Niall. 

“Yeah.”

And it was true. Niall knew me better than nearly everyone in my life, except Lily. The fact that he knew me better than Violet and my parents was something I held dear to my heart. It was just impossible to not unveil your soul to Niall. He was open and honest and caring. The world needed more people like him.

Too quickly, we were pulling up to the apartment. I wasn’t quite ready to leave, but I knew he had the meeting with his athlete and probably had to get going. “Thanks for finding my necklace.”

“Of course, Rosebud. I know how much it means to you.”

I thought about what he said, about feeling like I was with him when he was driving. Without another second to think about it, I unhooked the rose necklace I had worn to lunch today in my other necklace’s absence. “Here,” I said softly, leaning forward and wrapping it around his rearview mirror. “So I’ll always be with you when you’re driving.”

His finger gently touched the charm, and a slow smile spread across his face. “A rose to help me think of my Rosebud?”

“Always.”

He chuckled, and in a move that surprised me, pulled me over towards him so he could press a kiss to my forehead. “One problem, Rose. I’m always thinking about you. A necklace doesn’t change that.”

#wildflower #wf #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan au #1dff

[floralguccistyles]

oh my goodness guys, this is the last chapter of wildflower before the epilogue. I will gush over all the feels in the epilogue, so please enjoy this chapter until then.

wildflower :: chapter five

...and kisses you

My eyes were crusted with sleep, even though I had probably gotten only an hour.

My apartment still held enough stuff for me to sustain a healthy-ish habitation for about three days. Eventually, I would have to go back to Lily’s apartment and get some work clothes and my makeup products. For now, however, I just cuddled deeper into my blanket and stared at the window. 

I knew my phone would have a thousand and one text messages and missed calls from Lily. I knew the responsible thing to do would be to let her know I was okay and safe and that everything was going to be fine, but the truth was...I didn’t know if everything was going to be fine. Seeing Kent had shaken something in me, but what was even worse were the feelings of betrayal and stupidity.

I’m just someone who has been in love with you for over ten years.

That meant every school dance, every family movie night, every trip to Matilda’s doughnut shop, he had been hiding his feelings. And I felt betrayed. Not because I had suspected he would end up with Lily. But because I felt...dumb. I felt oblivious for not knowing, especially when my sisters seemed to. I felt betrayed because it was like everyone was in on it except for me.

And I felt betrayed because maybe if I had known earlier…

I groaned, rolling over to stare at my ceiling. I didn’t want to focus on the what ifs. The damage was done. I had a crush on Niall, he may or may not still be in love with me, and all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry.

Eventually I pulled together enough willpower to pick up my phone. As expected, I had thirteen text messages and six missed calls from Lily. She seemed to have told Violet as well, because even my younger sister had texted me with a hesitant, you okay? But the one thing that made me sit up in my bed was the voicemail notification from Niall.

“Hey Rose. Lily’s freaking out. She doesn’t know where you went. We’re trying to give you space, obviously, but could you just confirm where you are? Violet thinks you’re at your flat, which is fine. Just let someone know, yeah? I’m...we’re worried. I get it if you never wanna speak to me again. I just...I’m sorry, Rose.”

I replayed it back. And then a third time.

And then I grabbed my purse and dug around in it until I found what I was looking for, crumpled at the bottom and sprinkled with what might have been biscuit crumbs. My hands shook when I held it, but I took a deep breath.

“Premier Health Services Center, how can I help you?”

~

I had only been to a therapy office once.

It was shortly after we had moved from America to Ireland. I was a little too young to know what was going on, but my parents had wanted us to see a therapist just once to make sure we were adjusting well. From what I remembered, he was a very nice man who smiled a lot. I’m sure four-year-old Rose talked his ear off and he reported back to my parents with full confidence that I was adjusting just fine.

Somehow, I didn’t think this appointment would go the same.

The office itself was nice. It was decorated with muted shades of navy blue and white furniture. I imagined this relaxed some people, but all I could think of was that this place needed some color. My knee bounced up and down and I stared at the clock. My appointment was scheduled to start in two minutes, and I suddenly wished I had scheduled an early morning appointment so I would be too tired to try and escape.

Doctor Hildegunn’s door opened and an older man stepped out of the office, holding a tissue in his right hand. I assumed he wasn’t Doctor Hildegunn, considering I had seen a picture of the therapist and she was a tiny Swedish woman. I found her walking behind him, giving him a gentle smile.

“Have a good day, Devon,” she said to the man, her voice soothing and soft. I wondered if that’s why people liked her so much. “Rose Fairbrough?” Her eyes cut across the space to me, and she smiled again.

I nodded, ceasing my knee-bouncing and standing up. I took hesitant steps into her office, which thankfully had more color than the lobby of Premier Health Services Center. Her chair was green velvet, like one of those couches straight out of the 1970’s, and I found myself relaxing a bit. Books littered her wall behind her, ranging from psychology books to what looked like William Shakespeare.

The couch she gestured for me to take a seat on was the same green velvet of her chair. I gingerly moved the throw pillow so I could sit, returning my leg to it’s knee-bouncing. “Um, my sister recommended you. She’s a student at Dublin University.”

She nodded. “Violet. She’s one of my clients. She told me she was going to ask for my card for you.”

“Right. And,” I gestured to her office, “here I am.”

“And what do you want to discuss today?”

I raised a brow. When I had made the appointment, I had specified that it was because of a sexual harassment that I thought I needed to work through. At my quizzical look, she grinned.

“This appointment is about you, Rose. We can jump right into the sexual harassment, or you can talk to me about your family. This is about you.”

“I don’t want to talk about my family,” I said, shaking my head. “I just...I want to get over this whole thing. I ran into...my harasser, I guess...two days ago. I just froze.”

“Do you feel comfortable sharing the details of the harassment?”

“It’s not severe or anything. I think that’s why I was so hesitant to make an appointment in the first place. I know people have been through worse, and I didn’t want to make it seem like a big deal.”

“If it’s affecting you and your daily life, it’s a big deal, Rose,” she said softly.

And it was affecting my daily life. It had been affecting my life for the last year. So I told Doctor Hildegunn about Kent’s proposal, about not feeling safe at my job and the shitty response from Human Resources, and I told her about seeing him outside of the antique store. I told her that I was afraid to sleep alone, so I hadn’t slept in my apartment for a year.

But then I started talking about other things.

I spoke about how I was sad to give up my apartment, and about how I felt about Lily and Violet going behind my back to try and get me to a therapy appointment, and about how I pushed away the people I loved and who loved me.

I didn’t dare mention what had happened with Niall. I didn’t think my heart could take it at the moment.

Doctor Hildegunn listened as I spoke so much my mouth went dry. She retrieved a water bottle from a fridge she had hidden behind the little desk in her office and I took three big gulps as I waited for her to say something.

When she did, it wasn’t what I had been expecting her to say. “Do you genuinely think therapy is going to work for you?”

“W-what?” I stuttered out.

“You said you were hesitant about therapy because you still wanted to feel normal. Do you feel abnormal sitting here in a therapy setting?” 

“Yes,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I know therapy will help, but I just feel wrong sitting here. Maybe it’s the guilt. I mean, the girl at Niall’s school—”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty about being affected by what happened to you, Rose. You know that, right? Your feelings are valid.”

I didn’t say anything, just picked at a thread on my sweater.

“At Dublin University, there’s a sexual assault survivor’s group. They meet every Monday at 5:30 PM. I think, if you’re open to that, going to it could be very beneficial. Sexual assault or harassment is a big deal, even if you don’t want to believe it is. There are people in there who feel the same as you. That someone has it worse, so they shouldn’t complain. But this group will allow you to complain, Rose. They won’t judge you. They’ll understand. I’d like to see you once every two weeks, but if you aren’t comfortable with that, we can work something out.” She set aside the little notebook she had been writing in. “Going to therapy and attending these group meetings...they don’t differentiate between what you call ‘Normal Rose’ and the Rose you are now, here getting help. They’re just going to help you transition into a new normal.”

A new normal. The idea of a new normal scared her. She was so used to bottling up how she felt for the sake of others. She was used to staying in the receptionist job because it was secure and safe. 

And she was used to how things were with Niall.

“Here’s the information for the group,” Doctor Hildegunn said, handing me a bright yellow sheet of paper. “Try it out, see if you like it. And if you’d like, we can schedule an appointment here in two weeks time.”

I left the office with a therapy appointment in two weeks and the bright yellow sheet of paper tucked underneath my arm. I put it in my car’s glove box for safekeeping, knowing that the time and place of the meeting was seared into my brain. 

My phone beeped with a text. I was expecting it to be Lily, since I had blearily texted her yesterday morning before I had made an appointment with Doctor Hildegunn that I was safe, but to my surprise, it was my younger sister’s name that popped up.

How’d it go? Doctor H is really cool.

On a whim, I pressed the green phone button next to her contact.

“Rose? You good?”

“I have a favor.”

“Yeah, I’m good too. Got a ninety-seven percent on that biology test I was stressing about. Thanks for asking.”

“Do you want to go apartment hunting with me today?”

It was silent on her end. “Flat shopping? You...you aren’t gonna live with Lily anymore?”

No, I decided. No, I wasn’t. “No. I need to get my own place. And maybe giving up the apartment I have now is a good thing. I need someplace fresh. So, will you go with me?”

“Wouldn’t you rather go with Lily?”

She tried hard to mask it, but I heard the hopeful lilt to her voice. I never called her out of the blue to hang out with her, and I definitely didn’t include her in big life decisions. It was always Lily I ran to. And while Lily was still my rock and would be until the end of my days, when I heard Violet sound so hopeful, I knew I had made the right choice.

“Nope. I’ll pick you up in twenty. We’ll get some coffee.”

“Okay,” she said, and I heard the barely contained excitement. Then, a pause. “But I bought the coffee last time so you’re buying today.”

“Deal.”

~

The second I stepped into Lily’s apartment, I was enveloped in her arms. 

“Are you okay?” she asked softly, pulling me in close. She backed up and put her hands on my shoulders, then did a double take when she saw Violet behind me. “Vi?”

Violet waved. “Hey, Lil. We’re starving. Do you have those take-out menus in that kitchen drawer still?”

Lily gestured in the direction of the kitchen with a confused look on her face, like she was still trying to piece together why Violet was at her apartment and why we had come there together. Violet went off in the direction of the kitchen, rummaging around in the drawer as Lily pulled me over to her couch.

“Are you feeling alright? Why is Vi here? Not that I’m complaining, but it was kinda the last thing I expected.”

“She was helping me go looking for apartments.”

Lily’s brows furrowed. “You went apartment shopping? But....but Rose, you know you’re more than welcome to stay here.”

I did know that. And I loved Lily for it. “I know. But I’ve got to get out and start living my own life again. I think getting a completely new place might help. Also, I went and saw Violet’s therapist today.”

“Oh yeah, how was Doctor H?” Violet asked, coming back into the living room with the menu for a Vietnamese restaurant in her hands. “We all good with pho for dinner?”

I told them about the appointment. “She also suggested I go to this support group. She thinks I might like it better than therapy. I’m going to try going once every two weeks to meet with her, but I...I don’t know if therapy is right for me. I know you guys want me to go, but I’m just gonna try this group. Can you live with that?”

To my surprise, it was Violet who clapped my shoulder in an encouraging gesture. “Yes, Rose, we can live with that. We just want to make sure you’re talking to someone. You don’t really talk to us about this kinda stuff, and I know it’s shitty for you to keep it all in.”

“Woah,” I said, unable to stop myself from lightening the mood, “someone’s getting philosophical.”

She grabbed one of the throw pillows and hit me across the face with it.

“Now the next order of business,” Violet added, looking towards me, “what are you gonna do about Niall?”

And that was the question, wasn’t it? What was I going to do about Niall? “Lily you’re...you’re sure you don’t love him?”

“I never did love him, Rose. And I can assure you he never loved me. Nothing past how best friends love each other. If I did like him in that way, I can assure you it would have been squashed by the amount of times he talks about you when I’m with him.”

“He talks about me with you?”

Violet rolled her eyes. “How have you not noticed? The man doesn’t shut up about you.”

“I never noticed. Maybe I just didn’t want to notice, because the idea of liking Niall like that was off limits to me. I thought he was going to end up with Lily.”

“Well, do you think you could like him?” Lily asked.

I did think I could. I think there was always a small part of me that had, buried somewhere under the surface. It was why I always felt lighter around him, like the weight of the world transferred from my shoulders when he walked into a room. “I don’t know if I love him as much as he loves me. Not yet. And I don’t want to hurt him.”

“He’ll understand that, Rose. He sprung it on you. You just need to talk to him.”

But did he even want to talk to me? I hadn’t outright denied him, because he had left before I could process his confession, but I had hurt him. I had so carelessly uttered the words that unknowingly hit their target; he wasn’t my boyfriend. 

Lily’s phone buzzed from the coffee table, and we all stared at it. It was her ringtone for Niall, so there was no question about who it was that was calling her. She reached for it, answering it and bringing the phone up to her ear. It was so silent between the three of us that I was sure I could hear the trees shaking in the wind outside.

“Hey, Ni,” Lily said, looking towards me. “Yeah, she’s here. She spent the night at her apartment the past two nights.” She paused, listening to his response. “I’ll ask her.” Pulling the phone away from her ear, she put her hand over the speaker so she could whisper to me. “He wants to talk to you.”

I held my hand out for the phone. Violet leaned in to try and hear what Niall would say, but Lily slapped her arm and gestured for me to go into the other room. As I padded across the hardwood, I listened to Niall breathing on the other line. “Hey.”

“Thank Christ you’re alright. No matter how mad you are at me, please don’t ever leave without a word like that again, okay? You had Lily and I worried sick.”

I smiled a little at his worrying. “Alright, Mom, I’ll check in next time.”

He laughed, and the sound sent a trill of longing through me. The chuckles tapered off, though, leaving us in silence again. “And are you? Mad at me, I mean?”

“Niall, why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I pushed. I should have respected your boundaries. I was just so...fucking disgusted about what that asshole had done to you. I took it out on you, and I shouldn’t have.” I heard movement on the other end, and I could imagine him running his hand through his hair. “And then I sprung what I did on you—”

“Can I come over?” I interrupted.

“You...you wanna come over?”

“Yeah. I just think we should probably have this conversation in person.”

He took in a shaky breath. “Yeah, okay. You can come over.” It was impossible to miss the nerves in his voice.I could envision him standing in his living room, destroying the perfect hairstyle he’d constructed himself because he kept nervously tugging at it. “I’ll see you in a few, then.”

“See you in a few.”

I hung up the call and handed Lily’s phone back to her. Looking between her and Violet, they were both looking at me with questions in their eyes. They wanted to know what the hell was going on with Niall and I. But if I were being honest, I wasn’t really sure what was going to happen either. 

“Well...are you going to change? Because you look rough,” Violet said after a few quiet moments. Lily reached out to slap her arm again, but I oddly found myself grinning.

“Yeah, yeah I’m going to change. I’ll be right back.” I started walking to my room only to hear Violet shout something about me needing to look sexy, which resulted in a cut off grunt when Lily hit her with a pillow. 

Dressed in a white cropped top and red flared jeans (that made my butt look amazing, if I said so myself), I walked back out into the living room and let my sisters approve of the outfit. Lily was quick to toss my keys at me, promising that she’d drive Violet wherever she needed to go so I didn’t have to rush home. 

As the two of them sat on the couch and argued over whether or not I should wear a sweater, I was filled with affection for the both of them. I knew things wouldn’t change overnight, but seeing us hang out like this made my heart warm. “Hey,” I said softly, interrupting their bickering. “I just wanted to say thanks. For worrying about me. I...I know I might not show it much, but I love you guys.”

“Gross. Who are you and what have you done with Rose?” But Violet was smiling as she said it, rolling her eyes when Lily stood up and immediately hugged me. “Well now I just feel like a bitch if I don’t join in the group hug.”

Hugging Violet was a new experience. Of course, as her sister of twenty years, I’d hugged her before. But this felt different in a way I couldn’t explain. When we all pulled away, I flicked her in the forehead and laughed at her protest. 

“Now go and get your man! Your butt looks great in those jeans, by the way!”

I wasn’t really sure which sister had yelled it out to me, as I was already halfway out the door by the time it reached my ears. I hopped down the steps in front of Lily’s apartment, slid into my car, and drove the road to Niall’s place. As I loomed closer, my heart started pounding wildly in my chest. 

I knew there were consequences. What if I told him I wasn’t quite at love yet with him, and he rejected me because he’d spent too many years waiting? What if he realized, like I had, that I pushed people away and he decided it wasn’t worth it? 

My car slowed when I passed by his apartment, but my heartbeat didn’t. He was already waiting outside, standing on his porch in jeans and a light purple shirt that looked amazing on him, just as every piece of clothing he owned did. He was watching me with those incredible blue eyes, filled with wariness. 

“Hi,” I said breathlessly when I got out of my car and walked to meet him.

“Hi.” He frowned at my arms. “Christ, you cold? C’mon, I don’t want you to freeze.”

“I’m fine,” I said, but he wasn’t listening. He was fidgeting to try and get me inside, to prolong the inevitable. He led me to his couch and made sure I was comfortable before setting a little coffee cup in front of me. I swallowed, my breath catching in my throat when I saw the words written on the side.

I’m sorry, Rose.

“I am sorry. I know I probably ruined everything. I hurt you by demanding you go and see the therapist, and I handled the whole thing in such a rotten way. I’m just—”

I didn’t let him finish, leaning forward and throwing my arms around him. I pulled him close, impossibly close, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted him to sink into my skin and melt into my bones. “It’s not your fault, Niall. I don’t want you thinking that.”

His arms were slow to wrap around me, but when they did, his entire body relaxed in a sigh. And despite my worries, I knew that we were going to be okay. If we ended up something more, I would be ecstatic, but if we didn’t, I knew we would survive. We’d push through, just like we had with everything else. Because Niall Horan was not something I was willing to lose.

Still holding him in my arms, I pulled my face away from where it had tucked under his chin and briefly pressed a small kiss to his cheek.

“Don’t,” he whispered, his voice rough. “I can get over these feelings, Rose, I swear, but you’ve got to give me time.”

“What if I don’t want you to get over them?”

He drew me away from him, eyes wide as he stared at me to see if there was any hint of joking on my face. I didn’t know if he was satisfied with what he found, but I continued on.

“I like you, Niall. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve liked you as long as you have me, but I need you to know that it’s not one-sided. When you said you...you loved me...I was caught off guard, but I was never angry with you. I was angry with myself because I didn’t want to hurt you. And I did, even though it was the one thing I wanted to avoid more than anything. You always feel things so much, and I think that’s always scared me. I’m terrified because you love me, and I just don’t know if I’m there yet. These feelings for you are new and I’ve barely had time to adjust to them myself, and I don’t want to hurt you by not loving you as much as you love me. But I can, Niall. I can love you that much, I promise. You just have to let me try. You can’t give up on me. If you don’t want to, if this is too much work, I understand.”

He was silent for a moment. His eyes were on mine, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. The color had always been beautiful to me, but now there was something else there. An emotion I realized was pure happiness. And then, feather light, his hand raised and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“But...you do have feelings for me?” I mutely nodded and was completely unprepared for the smile that grew on his face. “I’ve been waiting ten years to hear that you love me, Rose. I can wait a little longer.”

My nose wrinkled. “Don’t call me Rose. It feels weird. It’s Rosebud or nothing else.”

His laugh was loud and clear, the kind that I realized I had only heard around me. It was his Rose-laugh. “I can live with that.” Some of the mirth left his eyes, but he was still smiling at me. “Can I...can I kiss you?”

I grinned. “You don’t have to ask, Niall.”

“Yes, I do.”

I brought my hand up to his face and smoothed my hand over his cheek. “I know you do. And I really, really like you for it. Now shut up and kiss me, Horan.”

“If I’m not allowed to call you Rose, you are absolutely not allowed to call me Horan.” Before I could protest, his hands were on my cheeks and his lips were on mine.

I don’t think I ever thought about what kind of kisser Niall would be. Even in my little short fantasy at the antique store, I hadn’t really imagined what it would be like kissing Niall. I had just imagined that it would happen. However, as his lips slanted over mine, I was happy I hadn’t imagined it.

Nothing I could have thought up would ever hold up.

His hands were on either side of my face, his thumb running back and forth across my cheek. They moved to my neck, tipping my chin up and giving him better access to my mouth. His lips were smooth and soft, moving against mine lightly. But I didn’t want lightly. I wanted him to kiss me like he meant it. 

I moved my own hands to his hair, pulling him closer and leaning up on my knees on the couch. He let out a breathless laugh against my lips, his arms moving to wrap around my waist. My mouth pressed incessantly against his, never drawing too far away from him before he pulled me back. He ran his tongue along the seam of my lips, and the feel of it made me sigh out, so incredibly happy that I didn’t know what to do with myself.

“Did I mention,” he asked between nips and bites and licks, “that your arse looks great in those pants?”

“That’s what Violet said.” I continued kissing him, unwilling to stop. “And that was kind of the point.”

“It’s not really fair.”

I shrugged, pulling away long enough to press a kiss to his throat. He groaned, leaning his head back against the couch. “That was also kind of the point.”

“I mean, you’re killing me.”

“And you’re not getting it.” Another quick bite to his lower lip. A moment where his hands slid lower on my hips. “The point.”

He grinned sweetly, pulling away from my mouth. “You kill me no matter what you do, Rosebud.”

“How about when I accept the job offer? Do I kill you then?”

“You’re accepting it?” He laughed, wrapping his arms fully around my waist before standing from the couch. A rather unsexy squeal left my lips and I clamored against him, trying to hang on to his shoulders as my feet suddenly left the ground. “I’m happy for you, Rosebud. And yes, even then, you kill me.”

“I will legitimately kill you if you don’t put me down.”

“No can do, sorry. I just got you in my arms, I’m not letting you go anytime soon.”

Even though his words were incredibly cheesy, I couldn’t help but smile. “Dork.” 

The look on his face, the lightness in his eyes. I caused all of those things. I was the reason for them. The knowledge of this sent a thrill up my spine, and had me smiling softly at him, unable to resist reaching out and touching his chin, pulling him towards me for another mind numbing kiss. “Thank you for loving me, Niall.”

“It’s the easiest thing in the world, Rosebud. You know what won’t be easy though? Giving Violet her five hundred bucks.”

My eyes went wide. “You knew about the bet?!”

“Your family is very bad at keeping secrets. I reckon it worked out though, yeah?”

I stared at him, focusing on the happiness I felt. “Yeah, it worked out.”

He silenced my thoughts with another kiss.

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[floralguccistyles]

wildflower, chapter three

Niall was truly, unfairly attractive. Now that I could look at him without the awkwardness of him realizing I was staring, I could easily admit that to myself. I had always known Niall was a handsome guy, but he was always unattainable. He was Lily’s. I had no business thinking he was attractive.

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[floralguccistyles]

wildflower, chapter five

“Wouldn’t you rather go with Lily?”

She tried hard to mask it, but I heard the hopeful lilt to her voice. I never called her out of the blue to hang out with her, and I definitely didn’t include her in big life decisions. It was always Lily I ran to. And while Lily was still my rock and would be until the end of my days, when I heard Violet sound so hopeful, I knew I had made the right choice.

“Nope. I’ll pick you up in twenty. We’ll get some coffee.”

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[floralguccistyles]

wildflower chapter four coming 4/18!

I set my fork down and swallowed my mouthful before answering. “What’s the occasion? Smoothies and doughnuts are celebration foods.”

I tried to remember if there was anything we were celebrating. Our birthdays were the twelfth and thirteenth of September, respectively, and it was only teetering on the end of May. He would have told Lily and me if he was up for a promotion, so I knew it wasn’t anything related to his job. 

“I just want to see my Rosebud. Is that a crime?”

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[floralguccistyles]

wildflower, epilogue

“I’ve just realized!” His mom shouted in the middle of our movie. It was Greg’s pick tonight, so naturally he had chosen a Disney movie that Theo would actually be interested in. His wife had already dozed off to sleep, pregnant with number two and according to Greg, “unable to stay awake for more than five minutes.”

“Christ, Mum,” Greg complained, jumping from her loud exclamation.

“We can get Rose and Niall couples gifts for their birthdays!”

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wildflower chapter five coming 4/28!

“Are you okay?” she asked softly, pulling me in close. She backed up and put her hands on my shoulders, then did a double take when she saw Violet behind me. “Vi?”

Violet waved. “Hey, Lil. We’re starving. Do you have those take-out menus in that kitchen drawer still?”

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[floralguccistyles]

wildflower, chapter four

My heart gave a little flutter. What was going on? I never reacted to Niall this way, in the way I imagined Lily reacted whenever she saw him. Is this what it felt like when she saw him coming to pick her up for their daily lunches? Heart taking off in her chest, stomach dropping with anticipation?

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wildflower chapter three coming 3/5!

If that wasn’t enough, on my break I had stubbed my toe on the corner coming around from checking up on one of the rooms. I had sworn very, very loudly in front of a family of four with two kids under twelve and the parents had glared at me. I hoped they had the decency to see that I was having a bad day and wouldn’t tell my supervisor. 

All I wanted to do was curl up in bed with a good book, a rom-com playing in the background, and maybe some soup. 

My day was only made worse when I saw Violet walking through the lobby doors as I was leaving. 

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