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#what a MESS over literally one lesson. which is basically my favourite lesson cause the teacher and class are the best
ignitedbynatsu · 3 years
Text
Idiot
A/N: a small Laxus one-shot in the middle of my finals ‘cause why not. In all seriousness, I had written this before I started my finals so don’t come after me 🙇‍♀️. This was request by an anon a couple of weeks ago so I hope you like it!! Thank you for requesting ❤
Genre: fluff
Warnings: cursing 
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"What do you think you're doing?" You squealed, yanking the spoon up out of reflex, making tomato sauce go everywhere as a result.
"Well, I was attempting to cook for us tonight," you said eyes you eyed the red spats on the wall, making a mental note to not forget to clean that afterwards.
"What's that burning smell?" Laxus audibly sniffed as his hand reached for the pot that contained the source of the vile scent. "No! Don't open... That"
Your protests fell on deaf ears as he proceeded to remove the lid, revealing the burnt food "how did you manage to burn pasta of all things?"
Laxus wasn't sure whether he found it hilarious or just straight up disappointing, he decided to just act indifferent out of respect towards you, but he was having a hard time not to let at least let one chuckle pass his lips "Well... It appeared I did not use enough water"
The dragon slayer cocked his head to the side as he tried to make sense of your mistake, "I see, and what about those vegetables?"
"What about them?" You turned your head to look at the said food you had neatly washed.
"Don't tell me you were planning on putting them in there without even cutting them" Laxus shook his head lightly as your mouth formed an o "I knew I forgot a step!"
"Darling, I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen" the blonde was done with the fake understanding, fearing you might burn the house down if he let you cook
"Yeah... Maybe it's for the best" you mumbled as you grabbed the pot with the burned spaghetti and start emptying it in the trash can. Laxus silently start helping you by putting the vegetables back in the fridge.
While Laxus choose to be silent because he was afraid, he had upset you. You took his silence as him being annoyed at you.
The both of you continued cleaning in awkward silence until there was no more trace of your failed attempt at cooking.
You awkward stood against the counter as you stared at your feet while Laxus was standing on the opposite side of the kitchen, staring at the now empty sink "Laxus, I-" "Listen, I-"
You both look at each other as the words left your lips at the same time "you go first-" "you should go first-"
A chuckle escaped both your lips as your voices got mixed again "this is too weird, you go first"
"Agreed" a small laugh escaped your lips once again as you cleared your throat before speaking up "I'm sorry for the mess I made. I thought I'd do something nice since you were gone on a mission all day, but I just made it worse"
Laxus was taken aback by your words. Sure you had made a mess, but he had appreciated the thought and the attempt you made for him "you didn't mess anything up, (Y/N), I mean, you did, but it's not like I'm upset about it, on the contrary. I'm flattered you wanted to do such a thing for me. If anything, I thought I had upset you for belittling your work"
This time it was your turn to be surprised by his words, "it's not like there was anything to belittle. I literally burned pasta"
The room was filled with soft laughter coming from you both as you thought back on the horror scene that had only happened moments ago, "so can we stop this weird tension?"
"Yes, please" Laxus agreed as you both visibly relaxed, "how about I order us some food, and we watch a movie to put this miscommunication behind us?"
"I'd love that" while Laxus did what he said he'd do, you decided to turn the living room into a pillow fort, just to make it that tad little bit comfier.
"I ordered some pizza" Laxus announced as he crawled into the dark cosy space you had just created "they'll be here in like 10 minutes"
"Perfect," you said as you just finished setting up the television with your favourite movie.
"Do you have any plans tomorrow?" Laxus asked as you snuggled into his side until you found a spot that was comfortable, not that it took long because it was basically as if you fit perfectly next to him no matter what position you took.
"Hmm, I was thinking about maybe taking some cooking lessons" you pondered, making him roll his eyes playfully at your response "you're an idiot"
 "Yeah, but I'm your idiot" you smiled at him which he took as the perfect opportunity to place his lips softly on yours, making you melt right into the kiss as you placed your hands softly on his chest while his much larger hands caressed your cheek softly. "Damn right you are"
 "Why'd you ask?" You asked as you broke away from the love-filled kiss.
"I was thinking about taking you out on a date" making you place your hand over your heart to feign a hurt expression "is my cooking not good enough for you?"
"Keep that attitude up, and I'll tell everyone about the burnt pasta" he warned making you stick your bottom lip out to pout "you wouldn't dare"
"Try me" he challenged at the same time the doorbell ring, signalling the pizza had arrived. You took that as the perfect opportunity to jump up "sorry couldn't hear you over the sound of the doorbell"
You missed the loving lingering look Laxus send your way as you skipped out of the room to get your food. You were an idiot that was for sure, but it was like you said, you were his idiot, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
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chameleonwritess · 4 years
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Never Been Kissed
Series: Sanders Sides
Pairing: Moceit (Janus/Patton) (minor Logince)
“I dare you to kiss Patton,” Roman grinned.
“Truth,” Janus changed his mind.
“Do you want to kiss Patton?”
“Pass,” Janus spluttered.
“The game doesn’t work like that,” Virgil pointed out, unhelpfully.
Words: 2923
Read on AO3
It had started with a stupid truth or dare game. Janus was having a legitimate breakdown over a game of truth or dare. Curse the fateful day that the other sides had begun to accept him.
If it weren’t for the fear of being stuck with the company of Remus and only Remus again for eternity, Janus would leave them.
Only, he wouldn’t really, because even despite being the cause of Janus’s current predicament (although it could also be blamed on Roman), he’d never leave Patton. Not now. Not ever, if he had anything to say about it.
Patton, who smiled as brightly as the sun when Janus walked into a room. Patton, who laughed softly when Janus messed up baking cookies and smeared cookie dough on the end of his nose. Patton, who understood what it was like to feel alone, helpless, unwanted and unimportant. Patton, who, despite Janus’s best efforts, had captured his heart.
And now Patton was not only going to figure out that Janus was completely smitten with the bespectacled side, but also realise how pathetically inexperienced at loving another person he was, removing any infinitesimal chance there even was of Patton liking him back. All thanks to a game of truth or dare.
Patton had invited him to join in the game. Janus knew the basics of how to play, thanks to Remus frequently insisting that Janus, Virgil and he play it once upon a time. Still, he was quite sure the version of the game the other sides played would include a lot less biting and a lot less blood than Remus’s version.
The game had started innocently enough. Roman had insisted that they spin a bottle to choose the next player, avoiding any biases in selecting a victim. Janus agreed that it did seem the most efficient solution. The game began with some silly confessions about embarrassing secrets, favourite songs and guilty pleasures.
Of course Roman would be the one to change it up. Logan’s dare for the creative side had resulted in him feeling particularly elated after managing to fit seventeen spoonfuls of Crofter’s in his mouth before he had to swallow and he spun the bottle with enthusiasm, practically causing it to fly directly into Janus’s lap. Roman laughed loudly.
“Looks like it’s chosen you, Janus! Truth or dare?” he asked. Janus had considered the options. Knowing Roman, his dares would likely have Janus doing something ridiculously embarrassing (Virgil was still sporting faint remnants of red lipstick, despite his vehement attempts to remove it, and Patton still looked as though he was feeling sick from the many marshmallows he’d had to shove in his mouth).
Deciding he’d take a gamble that Roman’s truths were slightly more pleasantly… creative… than his dares, Janus replied.
“Truth,” he decided. Regret immediately followed at the wicked smile that flashed across the Prince’s face.
“If you had to kiss one of the sides, who would it be and why?” he asked.
As the embodiment of Deceit, Janus should not have found himself as panicked at the prospect of having to lie his way out. After all, he could hardly open his mouth and declare,
‘Patton, because I’ve been hopelessly in love with him since the very first time he smiled at me.’
“Inventive,” Janus muttered sarcastically to Roman, stalling for time if anything.
“Oh, come on, surely you don’t have to think that hard about it,” Roman complained as the others looked intently at Janus for an answer. He deliberately avoided Patton’s gaze. There was only one way he could answer without admitting every feeling he had tried (and subsequently failed) so hard to suppress.
“There’s only one obvious answer,” Janus started, clearly piquing the others’ interest, “Virgil still has lipstick on his mouth so it’s an automatic no. Logan looks as though he wouldn’t know how to kiss if he read an in-depth instruction pamphlet. Roman, you probably use too much tongue and that’s definitely appealing and Remus would bite me. That only leaves one option.”
Janus paused to look at the others. Virgil looked indifferent, Logan was trying very hard not to seem offended, Roman was failing at not looking offended and Patton… Janus drew in a sharp breath. Patton’s eyes were practically sparkling as he looked at Janus.
“That was a biased answer,” Roman huffed, clearly still salty, but Janus was relieved for the distraction, “I don’t use too much tongue!”
“You do every time you open your mouth,” Virgil protested.
“Besides, Logan can ki- I- nevermind,” Roman cut himself off, flushing distinctly redder. Janus raised his eyebrows and looked between the logical and creative side. Logan’s cheeks were dusted a darker shade than normal, too. Of all the confessions Janus had anticipated coming from this game, that was certainly not one of them.
“What?” Virgil blinked.
“Janus,” Logan interrupted, slightly louder than necessary, “it’s your turn to spin the bottle.”
“Of course,” Janus said, flickering his gaze back across to Patton, who was still glancing at him with a small smile. Janus snapped his eyes away again, quickly, spinning the bottle, instead.
“Logan, truth or dare?” Janus asked when the bottle stopped.
“Dare,” Logan wisely insisted.
The game continued for a few more rounds and Janus had practically forgotten about his previous predicament. He suffered through a couple of dares and another truth until, fatefully, Roman’s spin landed on him once again.
“Truth or dare?” Roman asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. Janus had learnt his lesson, this time.
“Dare,” he decided.
“I dare you to kiss Patton,” Roman grinned.
“Truth,” Janus changed his mind.
“Do you want to kiss Patton?”
“Pass,” Janus spluttered.
“The game doesn’t work like that,” Virgil pointed out, unhelpfully.
“I- uh-“ Janus foraged for words he could usually weave together so effortlessly. What was he supposed to do? Kiss Patton and pretend it meant nothing to him? Not kiss Patton and have to explain that it meant too much to him? Explain that he’d never kissed anyone and he refused to let his first kiss be in a truth or dare game?
“You don’t have to, Janus,” Patton’s soft voice said from next to him and a hand landed on his leg. Janus jumped at the contact and Patton retracted his hand quickly. Janus wished he hadn’t- he’d just been surprised at the contact.
“I mean, it’s the rules, so he kind of does,” Roman pointed out, examining his nails for no particular reason.
Patton was looking at Janus with the same soft, understanding smile as always. Janus wanted so badly to lean forward and kiss him, but he couldn’t. Not in front of all the others. Not when he didn’t have a clue what he was doing.
“I- I can’t,” Janus finally spluttered out.
“That’s okay. It’s not a problem,” Patton insisted, but his smile wavered slightly. Janus panicked. Patton had thought Janus didn’t want to kiss him- that he couldn’t bring himself to do it, even for a dare.
“It’s not about you, Patton,” Janus insisted, quickly- quicker than he had meant to, “you’re wonderful, it’s just that I- I don’t- I-“ Janus’s breaths were getting faster as he looked around the room at all of the others. What had he just said in front of them all? What was he about to admit?
“I have to go,” Janus said abruptly and he immediately sunk out of the room.
And that’s how Janus found himself inside his room, his back pressed against the wall, breathing heavily and trying not to cry or have a panic attack.
How pathetic had he become? He couldn’t even complete a dare as trivial as giving someone a quick kiss. Admittedly, that ‘someone’ just happened to be the side he’d fallen in love with, but it didn’t require almost revealing his true feelings to all the others and having to physically leave the room for fear of breaking down.
Janus groaned in frustration and threw his hat across the room, more for dramatic effect than anything. Now Patton was going to think he was repulsed by him or something when it was the literal opposite, but if Janus revealed that, Patton would just be repulsed by him. There was seemingly no way out of the situation in which he didn’t lose Patton. Maybe he was destined for a lifetime of Remus, after all.
A knock at the door snapped Janus out of his self-pitying and caused him to wonder exactly how long he’d been dramatically sliding down the wall onto the floor for.
“Jan? Are you in there?” Patton’s gentle voice called out. Janus’s breath caught in his throat. He glanced in the mirror on his wall quickly, noting that his eyes were still red, the human half of his face was flushed and blotchy and his hair was sticking up slightly. He looked a mess but he couldn’t ignore Patton. Not if the other side wasn’t avoiding him as he’d feared only mere minutes ago.
Janus flattened his hair down, desperately and opened the door, trying to look as blasé as possible. Considering acting was one of his greatest skills, he was doing a notably abysmal job.
“Patton. Hello,” Janus said in an awkward, stilted way.
“Hi,” Patton said, breathlessly, “are you okay? I didn’t want to come straight away in case you needed some time but I didn’t want to leave you by yourself for too long if you weren’t alright. I hope that’s okay.”
Janus nodded.
“Yes, I’m great. Fantastic, even. Please don’t be worried about me,” he lied. Patton raised an eyebrow.
“You tell me off for repressing my negative emotions. I can tell you’ve been crying. And of course, I’m going to be worried about you, silly!” he insisted. Janus blushed a little. He was suddenly relieved that his face was already red.
“I really am okay,” Janus said more earnestly, “I’m sorry about what happened at the game. I just got… flustered.”
“You have nothing to apologise for,” Patton insisted, “Roman shouldn’t have pushed you to do something you didn’t want to do. He knows that, now, and no one else has a problem that you didn’t want to do a silly dare!”
“But that’s not true!” Janus blurted out before he could stop himself. Patton’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.
“How do you mean?” he asked.
“Never mind,” Janus shook his head, desperately wishing he hadn’t said anything. If he just ended the conversation now, maybe things could go back to normal between him and Patton. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.
“Hey, Janus,” Patton protested gently and as Janus tried to turn around to walk back into his room, a hand encircled his wrist, causing a shock of warmth to jolt through Janus’s body. He immediately froze at the touch. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Patton continued.
Janus closed his eyes and nodded, slowly turning around to face Patton again.
“Is this still about the game or is it something else?” Patton asked, taking both of Janus’s gloved hands in his own now that Janus was facing him again. His touch sent shots of electricity through Janus’s arms. Patton was so free with his touches. Janus wasn’t sure he’d ever be used to it, but he wasn’t complaining.
“It’s just the game,” Janus huffed, “how stupid is that?”
“It’s not stupid at all!” Patton insisted and he took a step closer to Janus, his hand reaching up to touch the scaled side of Janus’s face, “do you want to tell me what it was that was the problem. I can tell the others not to do it again and I promise I won’t be offended,” he added with a giggle.
Janus released a shaky breath, both from the effect Patton's closeness was having on his heart and from the nervousness of what he was about to admit.
“I’ve never kissed anyone,” Janus muttered, barely audible. Patton heard, though, if the soft gasp he gave was anything to go by.
“There’s nothing wrong with that! You don’t need to feel embarrassed about it. You know, I’ve never actually kissed anyone, either,” Patton admitted, “and I don’t think I’d want my first kiss to be because someone dared me to kiss a random guy in front of everyone else.”
“Oh,” Janus muttered. He hadn’t considered that Patton might never have kissed anyone. He was just so likeable that Janus had assumed one of the other sides must have wanted to kiss him at some point.
“I won’t tell the others if you don’t want, though,” Patton promised, “it can be our little secret.”
Janus nodded as Patton smiled at him. Why was he still feeling so agitated? Patton wasn’t mad at him, he’d explained why he hadn’t kissed Patton in the game and he hadn’t been forced to admit his true feelings for Patton. He should be feeling calm again.
Apparently, his discomfort was still visible, as Patton’s face contorted into a frown.
“Are you sure that’s it? You still look worried. You know I won’t leave until you’re smiling again,” Patton insisted. Janus cracked a small smile at his insistence, but it wasn’t the genuine smile Patton was referring to. Those smiles were only reserved for Patton, anyway.
“Really, everything is okay now. I’m sorry for freaking out and I’m sorry if Roman’s dare made you uncomfortable. It did include you, too, after all. And I’m sorry if the truth I answered earlier made you uncomfortable, too,” Janus began to say, wondering where all these apologies were suddenly streaming from. He suspected his and Patton’s still adjoined hands had something to do with it. “I’d never want to make you uncomfortable but I probably did. I should have lied instead of trying to be honest. I’m the literal embodiment of Denial.”
“Woah, Janus, slow down, you have no reason to be sorry! I wasn't uncomfortable at all- with anything!” Patton pleaded, his eyes wide. Janus looked at him anxiously. He had not meant to pour out quite that much of his heart. There was something about being with Patton that made him want to be more vulnerable.
“You weren’t?” Janus confirmed. Patton nodded and smiled brightly before a tinge of red crossed his cheeks and he broke eye contact.
“I, uh,” he began, “I really wouldn’t mind if you did want to kiss me.”
Janus’s eyes flew wide with shock. Was Patton implying that he’d be happy for Janus to kiss him?
“But I know you only chose me because you’re not as comfortable around the others! And you were forced to choose for the game, anyway, so I’m not saying you have to, but-“ Patton started to continue, his face growing gradually redder as he did. He looked positively adorable and Janus didn’t think he’d ever been more attracted to the moral side.
“I do want to kiss you,” Janus blurted out, his face darkening at his sudden confession. Patton looked up again, his mouth forming a perfect ‘o’ shape. “I have for quite a while, actually,” Janus continued because if he was going to confess, he might as well go all the way with his honesty, “ever since you accepted me into the group. You just smiled at me and it made my heart flip and I tried so hard not to fall for you, but my heart clearly had a different idea, because here I-“
Janus’s words were stopped when two hands planted themselves on either side of his face. Patton’s face was right in front of his and he was smiling, fondly, his eyes sparkling. Janus’s heart thumped loudly in his chest.
“Patton-“ Janus sighed and then he was kissing him.
Even the simplest press of lips was enough to set Janus’s body on fire and he immediately wanted more. He wrapped his arms around Patton’s torso, pulling the shorter side closer to him. Patton, despite his equal inexperience, certainly seemed to know what he was doing. His mouth was moving languidly against Janus’s and he’d snaked a hand into Janus’s hair.
The soft scrape of Patton’s fingernails against Janus’s hair caused a sort of mewl to escape Janus’s throat. Patton giggled softly against Janus’s lips, and the puffs of air that Janus felt against his mouth made him just want to kiss Patton even more insistently. So he did.
Janus wasn’t quite sure how long they ended up kissing for, but he did know that at the end of it, his hair was most definitely a dishevelled mess, Patton’s glasses were askew, his cardigan discarded from his shoulders, and both of them were grinning like idiots.
“Wow,” Janus mused, unable to form coherent thoughts, “that was-“
“Amazing,” Patton finished for him with a grin. Janus nodded in silent agreement.
“I should have just told you the whole truth before,” he mused. Patton wrapped his arms tightly around Janus’s shoulders, pulling his face close once again.
“You really should have. I can’t believe I’ve been missing out all this time,” Patton sighed against his mouth, leaning in and kissing Janus’ again, “and-“ he added, breaking away briefly, “in case it wasn’t clear, I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, too. I really like you, Janus.”
“Good,” Janus smiled, leaning down and pressing their lips together again. He would kiss Patton whenever and wherever he could just to chase the feeling of soft lips against his, gentle hands in his hair and a warm, comforting body right under his hands.
Maybe Janus should thank Roman, after all.
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daughterofzagreus · 3 years
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Assigning Zodiac Signs to Greek Gods
Zeus - Sagittarius 
*sigh*, my sign. During Sag season too, LMAO.
Sag is ruled by Jupiter, which is Zeus's Roman counterpart. And it's fitting. It's the planet of expansion and good luck which relates to Zeus. He was the only one of his siblings who wasn't swallowed by his father, which makes him pretty lucky to me. Zeus is a cheating fuckboy, with a love for chasing tail that is the root cause for about 90% of all the issues and conflicts in ancient Greek mythology...that's a pretty typical Sag male move. It's no secret that Sags can be hoes (I say this with love🤗). According to the myths, Zeus was actually a pretty fun, jovial guy who loved a good party, singing, dancing and some drink (the word "jovial" comes from his Roman name Jove/Jupiter). He's impulsive and has a bad temper when angered, though. All fairly Sag tendencies.
Poseidon - Pisces
Pisces is ruled by Neptune, the Roman counterpart to Poseidon. It makes sense that the god of the Sea would be a water sign. Uncle Sy was an emotional MESS in Greek mythology, he's been described as emotionally unstable, temperamental and moody. I'm sorry Pisces but (as someone with a Pisces mother) I can definitely see it. He was quite a hoe too, so I don't know if it's just a mutable sign thing (In which case, welcome to the Hoe club, Pisces👏🏾). His moods and emotions change like the tides (like Pisces), so he's either in a very good mood or a very bad one. Apparently he was quite the sweetheart when in a good mood, as well. Although, man gets a lot of good PR from the Percy Jackson series😒.
Hades - Scorpio
Obvious Scorpio is obvious💀. Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, which is the planet of death and rebirth. Makes sense, as Hades rules over the underworld. Pluto is also Hades's Roman counterpart. Hades isn't technically an Olympian because he doesn't stay in Olympus, his kingdom is in the underworld. I think that's significant because Scorpios like to keep to themselves. The stereotype of Scorpio is that they're morbid, secretive and mysterious. Into the macabre. Kind of like an intellectual brooding, which all fits for Hades. He's not an unfair guy, though. Likely, more on the misunderstood side. I think the fact that only a few people (like his wife Persephone) understand him shows that he doesn't open up or get vulnerable easily or with just anyone. A very Scorpio trait.
Hestia - Cancer
We don't know much about Hestia's personality. She's demure, simple and rules over the hearth and home. Cancers tend to be family oriented. If not, they do have a significant relationship with their home (be that their actual house, or their hometown. Wherever "home" and the family is). The hearth is the centre of the household. It keeps the home warm and provides a place for the whole family to gather around to commune or just feel safe. So, I think that's fitting.
Hera - Virgo
Oh gosh, I can't help comparing her and Zeus's relationship to Jay-Z and Beyonce 😔. Bless her heart, that Sag man has her looking a fool. A complete fool 🤡. Anywho, Hera is beautiful and a perfectionist. Very regal, and strives to maintain perfection. Besides being the queen, Hera is also the goddess of motherhood, monogamy, family marriage, home and protector of all married, so I imagine that she's quite conservative and that (despite the fact that her family is a hot, hot mess) she likes to present the image of the perfect family, kind of like a first lady. She just brings to mind the type of wealthy lady-of-the-manor Virgo woman who runs a tight ship (i.e.: the house/the estate).
Demeter - Cancer 
I was debating on whether or not to make sis a Pisces. But, Cancer is linked to the mother and maternal instincts, which I think is fitting. Cancer is a very maternal sign (at least, there's a lot of significance with Cancer and its relationship to motherhood). The most famous myth involving Demeter is about her daughter Persephone being kidnapped by Hades, and how that affected her emotionally. Demeter is described as being very maternal, protective and kind and embodying a very specific type of love, the "mother's love". One the flip side though, she's also quite OVER-protective. She really does embody some of the more negative traits of Cancer as well such as smothering and being a bit over-bearing with her love. She also strikes me as the type to be emotionally manipulative and play the melodramatic "after all I've done for you, how could you be so cruel to your own mother😭" and "so what are you going to say at my funeral now that you've killed me😔" victim card that overbearing mothers like to use so much. But she doesn't play when it comes to her babies and loved ones.
Ares - Aries
Obvious Aries is obvious😠. Do I even need to say anything? Aries is ruled by Mars, which is Ares's Roman counter part. The planet Mars symbolizes raw masculine energy (you get words like "martial arts" from that), and so does Ares. Both Aries the sign and Ares the god are loud, quite aggressive, and they like conflict (they find it quite funny, and they can move on from it pretty quick, it doesn't really distress them). There's also the passion and explosive temper. Ares is also brave, strong and straight forward. He's also incredibly protective of those he loves. According to Greek mythology, the first murder was committed by Ares when he killed a man who raped (or tried to rape) his daughter, so don't fuck with an Aries's loved ones.
Athena - Capricorn
Capricorn is ruled by Saturn. In astrology, the moon (which rules Cancer - Capricorn's opposite compliment) is The Mother. It's soft, maternal and nurturing. Saturn is The Father. It's the planet of obstacles and boundaries and is a very harsh, stern planet. Success will come, but only after learning some very hard lessons. If the moon is like a emotional parent that coddles and nurtures their child (Cancer), then Saturn is that strict, tough parent that teaches their child (Capricorn) from day dot that the world is going to be cruel and unfair, and so they want to break you to make you stronger and prepare you for the world. That's what I get from Athena. Athena was born fully grown and fully clothed (in battle gear, at that). She literally came into the world with her guard up. She's the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy (among other things), so she's very pragmatic and somewhat cold (not cruel, but just realistic). She's Zeus's favourite child, which links to her ruling planet being The Father. She's kind of like the embodiment of the woman who works in a male dominated field (which, she does) so she has to work harder, adopt more masculine traits and develop a harder exterior in order to survive and thrive. She's not the most emotional or vulnerable person either, and it's noteworthy that she never had a childhood (again, she was born fully grown), so she's never had any of the innocence and naivete.
Artemis - Cancer
With the twins (Artemis and Apollo), Apollo is the sun while Artemis is the moon. Since Cancer is ruled by the moon, it makes sense that Artemis would be a Cancerian. This is the third time I'm bringing up Cancer being maternal, but here we are. Artemis has a close relationship with her mother (she killed this one woman's 7 daughters, because said woman was talking smack about her mother), but Artemis also acts as a foster mother for a lot of different people. She's nurturing, compassionate and protective. Artemis is the protector of young women, and women in childbirth (right after she was born, she helped her mother deliver her twin brother, Apollo). She has a group of huntresses (which any girl is allowed to join, so long as they forgo marriage) and she basically becomes like an adoptive mother towards them (she also, in general, likes to take in strays. She’s goddess of moon and hunting so she spends more time in the wild and at night, whereas Apollo spends more time in civilization in the daytime).
Apollo - Leo
Obvious leo is obvious 🦁. Leo's ruling planet is the sun, and is symbolized by a lion with a ~fabulous~ golden main. Apollo is the sun god (among other things). He drives the sun chariot every day and is always described as having long blond (or ✨golden✨) locks, a golden tan, and is just ridiculously bright and golden overall. Hence his other name being "Phoebos Apollo" (Phoebus meaning “bright”). Leo rules the 5th house, which is basically the house of having fun and being yourself, which matches Apollo. He's one of the more active and fun personalities. He's an over achiever (God of music, poetry, prophecy, archery, young men) and is considered to be the most beautiful male god on Olympus. Like most Leos, humility is not his greatest strength, to say the least. He's dramatic, loves attention and likes to stand out and be the sun (around which everything revolves), like a leo, too.
Hephaestus - Taurus
I really don't know why, and I'm exhausted from writing so much for everyone else. I really don't know which sign to put him in, but Taurus seems to match him. Mainly because he's patient and calm. He's a kind(er) soul who just minds his business and does his work. I know Taurus gets a bad rap for being "lazy", but Taurus actually are quite hard workers. They just like to work on their own terms, and usually the more "slow and steady" type (but still hard work with results). Tauruses also love beautiful things, and Hephaestus is an amazing craftsman who's created the most beautiful jewelry that's ever been made. Taurus is also a very possessive sign that is easily prone to jealousy when it comes to their romantic partner. This is exactly how Hephaestus is when it comes to his wife, Aphrodite (who frequently cheats, since she never wanted to marry him in the first place). The fact that Haphaestus STILL loves her and tries his best to prove himself to her an impress her by making all that jewelery for her (even though it's clear that she just doesn't love him, and the relationship won't ever be what he wants) is something a Taurus would do, as they are solid, committed people. Once they've decided they want to make a relationship work, they're fully committed to it. He does have a temper, but it's generally a long fuse, and he seems to function by the law of "don't start none, won't be none". Very Taurus. They mind their business and they don't start mess...but they will end it. The Taurus fuse is very long, but once it goes off...
Aphrodite - Libra
Obvious Libra is obvious😘. Libra is ruled by Venus, the Roman counterpart of Aphrodite. As the goddess of love and beauty, I don't think it's all that surprising to have Aphrodite be a Libras. Libras could flirt for their nation. They're also a bit vain, like Aphrodite, and they can be people pleasers. But, it's well intentioned. Libras are the scale because they like balance and harmony, and they generally don't care for discord or unpleasantries. Aphrodite is the mother of the goddess Harmonia (goddess of harmony) as well. The vanity also comes from their artistic love of beauty, as libra a generally a very creative sign. If the libra themselves isn't creative, they at least appreciate creativity and art.
Hermes - Gemini
Obvious Gemini is obvious. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, which is the Roman counterpart to Hermes. Gemini are multifaceted which makes sense for Hermes as he does a lot of different things. Kind of like a jack of all trades but master of none kind of deal. Hermes is one of the smartest gods in a witty, inventive and humorous way. He was Zeus's second favourite child and his favourite son, and has a more trickster vibe to him. A bit of a scam artist. Hermes is also the god of travelers and thieves. Man just has a way of charming people into liking him, which is a very Gemini trait. As the messenger for the gods, Hermes is also the god of communication (probably a bit of a gossip)...and lord knows Gemini's can talk your ear off. Hermes has a pair of sandles with wings to help with his messenger duties, so he's very fast and is all over the place, since he was so much to do and is always on the go (Gemini rules the 3rd house which is the house of, among other things, short distance travel).
Dionysus - Aquarius
The laid back stoner of the group. And a cult leader. He not only invented wine, but was also the god of substance use, ecstasy and madness. I find it hard to describe Dionysus just like I find it hard to describe Aquarius. I know that traits, but they're just too complex to be able to describe in a single sentence.​ Like Aquarius, Dionysus and his cult originally was a place where marginalized people could feel free. Sticking it to the man and whatnot, which goes with the activism and revolution that comes with Aquarius, along with the idea of paradise.
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everyone on the carte blanche for the ask meme
everyone? oh boy this is gonna get long ajfhdsf
JUNO
First impression: i, like a lot of people who get into the podcast without knowing a great deal about it, was expecting at most an ambiguously bisexual angst machine with a closely-guarded heart of gold. juno being an explicitly bisexual genderqueer angst machine is perhaps the most pleasant surprise of my life. the angst machine heart of gold characters were kind of my type at the time, so i loved him right away
Impression now: every time i think about juno’s arc from depressed mess held together by bad coping mechanisms, safety pins, and a few good strong puns into someone who can talk about his feelings, feel comfortable about being happy, and recognise when he needs to change, i want to cry about it a little bit. the depth of my love for juno steel has only grown along with him
Favourite moment: juno has a lot of great one-liners and i’m still a big fan of the “on the other hand i wasn’t wearing a watch” bit and who can forget such classics as juno finally deciding to stop moping over nureyev and move on only for him to open the door to his apartment and find nureyev sitting in the dark dramatically, but honestly nothing will ever hit me harder than his sudden, pissed-off declaration of “i can’t die yet, i still have shit to do!” in promised land. god.
Idea for a story: oh i have so many and i want to write most of them so no spoilers, but juno accidentally kidnaps a baby during a carte blanche heist and shenanigans ensue
Unpopular opinion: obviously we all know he’s dummy thicc but i feel like a lot of people forget he’s an actual genius, like the stuff he notices and how he strings it together is sometimes so obscure and he’s almost always right. oh, also juno is not skinny and i will not be taking criticism on that
Favourite relationship: this is so tough because every dynamic is so good, but i think it has to be juno and rita. those two are so good! the best best friends in the world!! i’m really a sucker for any dynamic that’s ridiculously in-sync so i loved these two as soon as juno saw rita’s notes in prince of mars and went “makes perfect sense to me” (which it probably didn’t, because rita, but he trusted that she knew what she was doing which is the important part)
Favourite headcanon: this isn’t really a headcanon but i still think about how juno is (was?) deathly afraid of heights but when he heard rex glass coming he still attempted to climb out of the window. either his aversion to working with dark matters/other people in general was so strong is overrided his fear, or his office was actually on the ground floor. not sure which of these is funnier.
NUREYEV
First impression: we’ve all seen the memes about nureyev knowing juno steel for one (1) day and deciding to Risk It All by leaving him with his name, look at this Hopeless Romantic, this utter DISASTER of a homosexual. the fact the very next time we hear from nureyev (at least directly) he’s patiently waiting in juno’s dark apartment to surprise him with a heist definitely supports this image.
Impression now: even after literally being inside peter’s head, i feel like we didn’t get a real sense of who he is until man in glass, where we find out he aggressively compartmentalises everything that causes him stress. he’s also distinctly someone who’s had his heart broken before, i think, which makes those first appearances of his very strange. but it does remind me of what juno says about diamond, and how he decided to provide the trust first and wait for the trustworthiness to grow in (only to get severely hurt), and i think that’s exactly what nureyev did. i am also... very uneasy with how suspicious he’s behaving this season because obviously i want to believe he’ll sort it all out and not betray the crew but... oof
Favourite moment: the beginning of what lies beyond pt1 where he’s affectionately bullying juno into taking care of himself? cleared my crops watered my skin etc etc etc
Idea for a story: i’d love to hear more about his past as a young thief idolising buddy and vespa (i can’t actually remember if that’s canon or fanon but anyway i wanna read it!)
Unpopular opinion: i think people often cling to an image of him that more resembles his first impressions in season 1 instead of seeing the depth that we’ve been given about his character in season 3
Favourite relationship: him and juno but honestly it’s a close call between them and his budding friendship with rita. even though she learned it by accident, his name is still a point of intimacy and it’s one less secret to keep around her which has to be a weight off his shoulders, at least a little? they seem like they could be really good friends once ultrabots is out of the way. juno steel love (and also bullying) zone activates whenever they’re together
Favourite headcanon: i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - nureyev has never done a household chore in his goddamn life. he doesn’t know the water needs to be hot when you wash dishes.
RITA
First impression: honestly i’m not sure? i don’t remember having a big awareness of her in murderous mask but i remember loving her “note-taking” in prince of mars, i thought she sounded really fun and cute
Impression now: rita is really fun and cute, she’s also an extremely hardworking and dedicated woman who had the guts to throw in with a detective fired from the force and then invest all of her time and money into helping him help people.
Favourite moment: Rita Gets A Knife. enough said
Idea for a story: i don’t know honestly! i really struggle to write rita because her thought processes are so wild and i don’t think any story i could come up with would match mega ultrabots of cyberjustice.
Unpopular opinion: this shouldn’t be unpopular because juno steel himself shares this opinion but all future-jupeter headcanons are incomplete without rita also being a huge part of their lives
Favourite relationship: rita + franny 4ever obviously.. jk it’s juno & rita have you heard rita minute 3 they’re too adorable for this world. im still Soft over their conversation at the end of soul of the people when he said he couldn’t stay in hyperion anymore but he wouldn’t leave with the carte blanche if rita wasn’t coming because he was done leaving her behind, and she threw out all her hesitations on the spot and said call the big guy. speaking of, rita & jet are a close second. instant best friends i love them.
Favourite headcanon: i think this is basically canon now but rita being literally half the height of jet is so good
JET
First impression: “haha lorge funny man puts juno in the trash”
Impression now: jet sikuliaq is one of the dearest characters to me out of anything ever. he is a huge, menacing, polite, kind, sincere man who i would very much like to give me a hug. he’s the best aro ace in outer space and while being generally very levelheaded and straightforward, also takes every opportunity to fuck with juno because it’s very easy and very hilarious to him personally. he is everything my autistic acearo ass needed and i’m so glad to have him
Favourite moment: all of them every single one. him putting juno in the trash is of course a classic and every moment jet chooses to be funny makes my heart happy, but also every piece of genuine advice he gives. i’m a particular fan though of buddy recounting her years in the lighthouse and him saying he became concerned when she didn’t come downstairs at the usual time. “you took the door off its hinges.” “i was deeply concerned.” king of understatement
Idea for a story: again no spoilers for you but..... tools of rust time loop au
Unpopular opinion: this isn’t “unpopular” as much as it is unknown but jet is buddy’s queerplatonic partner and i will keep saying it until everyone believes it
Favourite relationship: jet and buddy,,, just everything about them. the way he suspects when she’s lying, the way she makes tea for him when she expects him to drop by. the fact he comes to check on her when she is 41 seconds late to the family meeting because it’s unlike her to be late and the last time she was late for something her brain was turning to radiation soup. but most especially the way she snaps at him to stay out of her business and he said he could not because he made her promise eight years ago to never stay out of the business of her health, no matter how many times she asked. they r literally in a qpr
Favourite headcanon: i don’t think this is true but i still think it would be funny if the ruby-7 used to be painted red but when jet got it he had it painted green because he Just Really Likes Green (as evidenced by his hovercycle). it’s very funny to me.
BUDDY
First impression: it’s been a minute since i relistened to time gone by but i’m pretty sure the first thing she ever says in the podcast is sliding up to depressed accidental whiskey thief juno and say “that’ll be ten million creds,” scaring the shit out of him, so needless to say i was in love instantly.
Impression now: my love for buddy aurinko has only grown and if it sounds like i already said that in this post it’s because i did about juno and it’s appropriate because the parallels are astounding. the heart of it all gave us such depth to buddy’s internal monologue and why she always sounds like she knows exactly what to say and what that’s like and honestly will i ever be over the heart of it all as an episode? unlikely. i think i’m gonna have a little piece of it in MY heart forever.
Favourite moment: everything she’s ever said is iconic as hell i especially like “in an impressive fit of hubris i’ve decided not to prepare my words for this vow” which made me laugh out loud but once again i must give it up for her iconic “I WANT TO LIVE” moment. honourable mentions to her taking rita out for ice cream and giving juno shooting lessons while she’s in her actual wedding gown. i love her
Idea for a story: buddy and vespa as sun/moon dieties.... that’s all
Unpopular opinion: stop drawing her with a fancy high-tech eye like the theia!! it canonically looks like garbage and it’s described in detail, please, i’m dying, also don’t minimise her scars you bastards
Favourite relationship: buddy and vespa invented romantic love and the entire carte blanche crew’s relationship to her is great but you know by now i’m a slut for buddy & jet out-of-this-world queerplatonic partners. the way she checks in on him during tools of rust to make sure he’s not relapsing and he comes to find her when she is 41 seconds late in the heart of it all to make sure she’s not having a heart problem!! it’s the trust,, the devotion,, the mortifying ordeal of being known
Favourite headcanon: she can sing. absolutely tears it up at karaoke. i’m right
VESPA
First impression: knife lesbian goes STAB. she will heal your wounds but she will be threatening to give you more the whole time
Impression now: she is extremely strong, heart-rendingly tender, and despite being in the older half of the carte blanche crew somehow has unmistakable little sister energy which makes her downright hilarious. i’m so glad she got to marry buddy and they’re official space wives now they’re so good for each other
Favourite moment: both from shadows in the ship, either “GUN!!” “KNIFE?!” (iconic) or when she clocks the dark matters drone pretending to be juno because it called her crazy and juno wouldn’t call her crazy. i’m always a sucker for “shapeshifter fails to fool mark because they Know Each Other Too Well” and it was just *chefs kiss* so good
Idea for a story: i really want to write something about when she was first staying at the lighthouse with buddy post-reunion, and getting to know jet and stuff. i think it would be cute
Unpopular opinion: i know vespa doesn’t canonically have lots of scarring but people who don’t draw her with scarring? cowards.
Favourite relationship: once again, although buddy and vespa invented romantic love, i just love the dynamic between vespa and juno so much. they’ve come so far with each other and their weird sibling dynamic gives me life. at the end of what lies beyond when juno says “we’re not gonna kill her, vespa” and instead of sounding full of Rage and Suspicion she’s like “whyyy notttt?” and he’s like “because i said so!” and that’s just good enough for her even if she’s a bit grumpy about it. i love it.
this took.. a hot minute to do! jshkfjsdgsa thank you dyl ily <3
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alexaplaysgames · 3 years
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Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.
Tagged by: @onlyhereforinteractivestories thank you so much this was a blast! 🥰
Tagging: I reallyyyy hate doing this because I don’t want to make anyone feel obligated to do it. So anyone that wants to do it, do it and tag me please!
Name/Nickname: You can call me Alexa or Alex, I don’t really mind which.
Gender: Female
Starsign: Aries ♈️ 🔥 I think I’m a Gemini moon sign or sum but I’m bad with astrology.
Height: 5’0 welcome to Whoville y’all! Haters can’t bother me cause I can’t see em.
Time: it’s 9:43 AM as I’m writing this.
Birthday: April 17th
Favourite Bands and Favourite Solo Artists (combined): Listen, I’m honestly not a huge music fan. This list would include: a wack of rock bands my middle-aged father likes, a whole bunch of French-Canadian artists no one has heard of, and the people that write Disney songs. I also really like Michael Jackson, The Bee Gees, Mika, Led Zeppelin. It’s a weird list.
Song Stuck in my Head: Well now it’s Beat It by MJ because I had to think about him. But before that, the House MD theme song. I have problems with a capital Need to Get Some Help.
Last Movie: I watched The First Purge with a friend it left me scarred... The world is fucked up man.
Last Show: The Queen’s Gambit and Beth Harmon can step on me please.
When did you create this blog?: uh... like a few months ago? Idk? For quite a while I did nothing on it. Just stalked people harder than Joe Goldberg.
What do I Post: Garbage, honestly. Tbh, it’s just like everything that goes on in my mess of a brain. It’s really unorganized in here fam. I probably should’ve made seperate accounts with the number of fandoms, but I am lazy. So, like my bio says: everything interactive fiction.
Last Thing I Googled: Other than school related stuff (which is boring), The Wayhaven Chronicles fics on AO3. I obsessively read fanfiction- it’s unhealthy.
Following: 102 (let me love you my pretties)
Followers: 91 and they are all my children so my mother can’t ever ask me why I never gave her grandkids.
Do I Get Asks: Not really, but tbh I wouldn’t ask me questions either. My parents don’t call me a disappointment for nothing.
Why I Chose my URL: Honestly? I was planning to change it and just wanted something that worked. Do you know how many users with Alexa in the name there are? A lot, apparently. Too many. I’ll have to kill them all to become the only one. I’ll probably choose a new one until then.
Average Hours of Sleep: I actually sleep quite a bit, somewhere between 6-8 hours per night which is healthy, so wow! I guess I have accomplished something in my life. Although I am a uni student, this term just started so it’s pretty chill. But it probably won’t last for long.
Lucky number: 6! It was my soccer jersey number for a long time.
Instruments: Look... I’m a band kid. The only instrument I can actually 100% play is the euphonium. It’s not a pretty instrument; it sounds equivalent to a tortured elephant. Don’t bother looking it up, I promise you it’s not cool. But I did take guitar lessons. I just sucked.
What I’m Wearing: literally a t-shirt with a huge ass picture of Rupert Grint’s face on it that just says Ron in a font that looks vaguely threatening. I got it from my cousin. Other than that, Roots sweatpants.
Dream Job: I’m currently pre-vet so it would be nice to actually follow that through! We’ll see how that goes though. Sounds like a lot of commitment.
Dream Trip: I would love to visit Australia or Japan! They both sound really neat. Also, random fact: did y’all know Chris Hemsworth lives in Australia? That’s... an odd coincidence.
Last Book I Read: In reality, it would be an IF book (Supernatural in New York, precisely) but in terms of an actual novel? The Hobbit. Actually no, it would be my Biology textbook but that’s boring. I’m a cool kid.
Favourite Food: I really love pasta. Like crazy obsession amount of love for any kind of pasta. I’m not even remotely Italian. Give me those carbs.
Nationality: Canadian! 🇨🇦 and I find Canadian stereotypes hilarious. I often laugh over them while drinking maple syrup and riding my pet polar bear.
Favourite Song: Once again, I’m not a huge fan of music. So I’ll put the song I’m listening to right now: Golden by Harry Styles. I didn’t even know the name of the song until I looked it up. I’m sorry.
Top Three Fictional Universes: The Percy Jackson universe has been one of my favourites since forever. I also love Middle Earth, the setting of Lord of the Rings (I sound so basic). Lastly, the MCU! I’m a huge superhero fan :) it would be cool to be a superhero but I’d probably die in 0.02 seconds :/
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My personal connection with Taylor’s discography, part two: Right Where You Left Me
Basically this is just a series I’m doing where I write down my feelings on what each of the Taylor songs means to me personally. Part one was my relationship with It’s Time To Go, which you can find here.
Before we get started with this one though, I just want to mention how much I love this song, even outside of relatability. While I do prefer Taylor’s ‘mature’ voice nowadays, the fact she tapped into her ‘fetus Taylor’/RED era voice in an album filled with her ‘mature’ voice to show that she’s stuck at an age that no longer suitable/where she’s meant to be adds a lot to the song. Likewise, the urgency she uses when saying ‘Help!’ because it feels like an emergency to her makes me want to scream every time I hear it.
Anyway, with that being said, this is how I personally relate to this song.
Right Where You Left Me
As a whole, this song is one of the most relatable songs of Taylor’s for me right now. It is somehow comforting, yet also reads me like a book. It is also one of the many songs Taylor has written that I relate back to the trauma of losing my family. Specifically, Right Where You Left Me feels like a vocalisation of what I feel on the worst of days where I do not feel strong enough to go on alone and just want them to come back. Because of this, Taylor’s ‘immature’ voice adds even more to the song as the situation it relates to in my own life makes me feel like a child crying out for their parents to help them.
Friends break up, friends get married
Basically I’m at this part of my life where it feels like all my friends are hitting these milestones that not only do I not feel close to hitting, I just have no interest in hitting them because I’m too focused on what happened with my family.
Strangers get born, strangers get buried
In the last year or so, I found out through facebook that I am an aunt and via the phone that my grandfather, someone who called me their favourite grandchild, had died. These are people who should in theory mean the world to me, but instead, they were born/died strangers to me, as will any other members of my family. And as a result, I felt nothing hearing the news.
Trends change, rumors fly through new skies. But I'm right where you left me. Matches burn after the other
Time has passed, but I still stuck in that moment, so much so that things that used to catch my interest no longer phase me.
Pages turn and stick to each other
A lot of people have spoken about how this song is about trauma, but I feel like this line is often left out of the conversation when it’s perhaps the most obvious show of it. When you’re traumatised, time all blurs together and as a result, you often find yourself in a position where you’re questioning how you even got there or feeling like you’ve missed part of the story. And part of this goes with my friends’ lives too. Like it feels like I am so stuck in the moment my family fell apart that I wake up some days noticing my friends have made these achievements that I didn’t even know they were working up for despite them telling me things I just do not remember. In non-traumatised terms, it’s almost like being invited to a wedding where you thought the bride was still single.
Wages earned and lessons learned. But I'm right where you left me
Obviously life has still gone on for both myself and my family. None of us have just stayed in bed for almost six years doing literal nothing, at least from what I know. I’ve started and finished my degrees, assumingly my family has gone to work etc and I’ve been able to reflect on what went wrong and why not to trust them again. But despite that, it still feels like just yesterday that this all went down. The damage losing my family has done is and may always be a fresh wound.
Help, I'm still at the restaurant, still sitting in a corner I haunt cross-legged in the dim light. They say, "What a sad sight"
Continuing from the above, I am still traumatised and don’t really know how to move past this. And while most of my friends have tried to help, there’s nothing they can realistically do but say that they’re sorry that it happened.
I swear you could hear a hair pin drop right when I felt the moment stop. Glass shattered on the white cloth
Christmas Day 2015. Before then my sister had been in a two year cycle of running away but coming back for special events to get gifts. So when she didn’t show on Christmas, I knew she wasn’t coming back. Also the moment I read the facebook messages from my extended family stating that they’d rather I starve and be homeless than speak to my father about helping put the family back together.
Everybody moved on. I stayed there. Dust collected on my pinned up hair
Again the continuation of the idea that it feels like everyone around me has moved on and done amazing things and I’ve just sat here, achieving nothing.
They expected me to find somewhere, Some perspective. But I sat and stared right where you left me
My family falling apart was one of those ‘everyone knew before me’ moments. Like friends of mine have flat out pointed out that the signs were there from when I was like ten. And yet, part of me held on thinking that anyone in my family would come back and fix things someday.
Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it
Again, so much time has passed since then and everyone else (barring my mother) seems to have moved on, leaving this trauma behind as just a memory and yet it feels incomprehensible that this happened and that I was meant to do anything afterwards until this got sorted.
She's still twenty-three inside her fantasy, how it was supposed to be
I still spend so so much time wishing things were different and imagining all these different events in our lives that the other should be at and how it should have been even though I know at the end of the day that just breaks my heart worse when I am forced to reconcile that that’s never going to happen.
Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?
I spent two years truly believing my father would eventually realise how messed up the situation was and reuniting my sister and extended family with me, my brother and/or mother even though he had the means to do so the whole time but didn’t. Or that my sister would come home on her own at 18 knowing mum couldn’t set boundaries anymore. Or at very least, one of the extended family would call and ask how they could help. Like I had zero reason to have faith in these people anymore, and yet I sat around like a delusional idiot truly thinking that 2015 wasn’t the end for my family.
Breakups happen every day, you don't have to lose it
In an attempt to either make me feel better or just move past the subject, I’ve had people in my life constantly compare it to their siblings who came back or their parents divorce where they still speak to both parents or just generally telling me that I’ve gotta forget them and just move on to be okay. And while well meaning, it has just felt more isolating and like they want me to just shut up for their sakes, even if they don’t mean it to. As a result, I’ve been left to fester more about it, because outside therapy, I have nowhere to put that energy. And as someone who feels like they can “infodump”/rant and then move on, at least for a while, it’s the most frustrating thing.
She's still twenty-three inside her fantasy and you're sitting in front of me at the restaurant when I was still the one you want, cross-legged in the dim light. Everything was just right
While it was not the last day I had with her, the last positive memory I have of my sister was when the three of us went to Merimbula, my then favourite place in the world, to visit my grandmother in January 2015. It was the time in my life where I was the happiest, both with myself and how the rest of my life was going, and felt that everything was going to work out. We had just moved my sister to a different school away from the people who were pushing her to act out (they later transferred to the same school :/), I was about to start my degree, I felt the most recovered from my PTSD, Bipolar and Eating Disorder than I ever had and I felt the most loved I ever had, both by my family and others. Looking back at the photos from that trip, I also noticed that it’s the only photos I’ve smiled in and the most huggy I’ve ever been towards my sister and father.
I could feel the mascara run. You told me that you met someone
This line specifically feels aimed at my father and the moment in 2017 he told me that he’d rather stick with my sister and allow her to do whatever she likes than stand by my side and try to reconnect the family and I realised that that was never going to change.
I'm sure that you got a wife out there, kids and Christmas. But I'm unaware ‘cause I'm right where
Like I said, I know I have a nephew that I’ll never meet now. I know my younger cousins are probably getting married and having these other events, but I’m never going to be part of that and I can’t even comprehend having those events for myself after what happened. The specific mention of Christmas also feels like a kick in the guts not only as the day that I realised my sister wasn’t coming back, but that was the main time we saw everyone from the extended family and would literally spend like 12 hours at my uncle’s place for the day.
I cause no harm, mind my business
Again, I just cannot find it in myself to do anything anymore. I don’t get involved in things I used to, I don’t make new connections and I can’t bring myself to explain what happened. I just go through the motions of living the same day, over and over.
If our love died young I can't bear witness
Quite frankly, I’ve pushed this shit so far to the back of my head because I just cannot face the pain, even after all this time. Like taking a ‘out of sight, out of mind’ approach and trying to rationalise it to myself that everyone else was right and this was inevitable is the only way I’ve been getting through each day because the alternative is that none of this had to happen but still did.
And it's been so long. But if you ever think you got it wrong I'm right where you left me
This is the child in me screaming out and begging me to reach out to them on the bad days that I want them all back and can’t do this alone.
You left me no, you left me no
The disbelief. Like none of this can be real. Like my father and extended family couldn’t have decided a broken family was better than the work it takes to fix one, right? My mother can’t be so torn up in her own grief that by her own accord, has admitted she will never love me, right? It just all cannot be real. But it is.
You left me no choice but to stay here forever
And to finish off, we have a triple meaning line.
The father version: By manipulating events and turning my mother, brother and I into the villains, he has forced us into a future where we do not have family. He has brought on grief to my mother that I am expecting her to die at her own hand soon. And he has left me living in my fantasies of what could have been.
The mother version: Within her own grief, my mother is living in a mindset where anyone wanting to move on from this and have a life is selfish and is herself constantly talking about it and giving ultimatums to listen to and agree with her or refuse to pay bills, which I need her to do as someone who is financially dependent on her. Ironically, she also shuts down any inkling that my brother and I have been affected by this to the level she has and refuses to entertain us talking about that in the household. Both of which mean I am forced to relive this over and over without the recovering aspects that I need.
The me version: Basically the combination of the two above. Because I have not been given the chance to recover in the way I need and do not have an outlet outside of therapy to properly work through this, I am forced to relive the events with myself each night just to try and make sense of it all. Further, the trauma has hit so deep that again, even the idea of starting new relationships whether they be familiar, romantic or platonic seems both unworthy of my attention and horrifically terrifying because it still feels like I am unloveable because if my own family, the people who are meant to love you forever, have abandoned me, why would anyone else stay?
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writingsbychelle · 6 years
Text
Reckless Behaviour
Summary: Being angry at Peter for risking his life as Spider-Man.
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Request: /
Warnings: Uhhh, there’s a mention of a gun and the events of Homecoming plus the reader being Tony’s adopted daughter (bc in this house we aren’t exclusive). OOH and you’re all gonna hate me for that last sentence.
Word Count: 1,315
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     “I don’t understand it, explain it to me again?” you hopefully looked at your best friend, and crush, Peter Parker, who was currently sitting together with you in the kitchen in the Avengers Tower, catching you up on biology. 
     You had always a slight misunderstanding for biology but as the (adopted) daughter of Tony Stark people expected you to always be the best of your class which obviously put a lot of pressure on you. However, since you met Peter he had helped you a lot, patiently explaining everything to you, sometimes even several times, until you finally understood it.
     “No problem, (Y/N). Okay, so basically-“ Peter began explaining only to be interrupted by Friday, your father’s IA.
     “I am sorry to interrupt but Mr Stark is waiting for Mr Parker in his laboratories.”
     “Sorry, (Y/N), I gotta go, talk to you later?” 
     Peter quickly stood up and shoved his stuff into his backpack before he threw it over his shoulder and hurried into the elevator that was already waiting for him, leaving you looking like a confused mess. The following hour you tried to work through everything yourself but you just ended up feeling like you fried off your last brain cells so you ultimately decided to sit down in your favourite café down the street to grab a coffee there and relax for a bit.
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     “Hello, one cold brew latte please,” you ordered, pulling your wallet out of your purse but before you could open it to give the money to the barista you felt the cold metal of a gun barrel press against your temples, causing the young woman behind the counter to let out a gasp, alerting the few customers that were sitting in the small café as well.
     “I know who you are. You’re gonna come with me, nice and quiet, and then we’re gonna see how much you’re really worth to your father,” the man behind you growled in your ear, your body still as you slowly nodded your head. 
     Sadly Tony had given you a few lessons in case you’d ever end in a situation like this, behind held at gunpoint by someone that only wanted your father’s money.
     “Alright, relax, I’ll come with you,” you raised your hands as he slowly led you outside of the café bringing you into a side alley where a van stood waiting.
     “Hey, I don’t think that’s how you take women out on dates nowadays or is it?” you heard a familiar voice behind you, causing your kidnapper to turn around with you, his arm still wrapped around you. 
     In front of you stood a masked man in what looked like a red spandex suit. 
     Spider-Man.
     “Let go of her and we can settle this,” Spider-Man said.
     “Oh hell no, I’m not letting this deal slip through my fingers.” 
     You felt the barrel of his gun press harder against your temple, causing you to press your eyes shut, wishing for that moment to be over soon.
     “Okay, okay, I’ll just…” 
     You opened your eyes to a “thwip” noise, seeing the man that stood behind you just seconds before pinned to a brick wall, Spider-Man’s webs keeping him there.
     “Are you alright?” Your saviour asked gently, his right hands resting on your shoulders.
     “Yeah, I...Yes, I’m fine, thank you so much,” you sighed, a hand running over your face in relief.
     “I…Listen, I gotta go. Are you fine with finding your way back home by yourself?”
     You nodded your head in response and before you could say anything else Spider-Man was back to swinging his way through Queens.
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     Just the next day you were back to sitting in the living room of the Avengers Tower with Peter, watching some TV as you were taking a break from studying.
     “You know, I really love Spider-Man. I mean I knew he was amazing but he literally saved my life. I owe him big time…God I hope he isn’t like a creepy old man, that’d be so weird for me to have a crush on him,” you ranted to your best friend.
     “Yo-you have a crush on him?” Peter’s cheeks turned slightly pink as you said those words.
     “Yea, I mean, he’s absolutely amazing and he does so much to protect his neighbourhood, you know? He just seems so approachable, like he could literally be your neighbour in disguise.”
     Peter mumbled something that sounded awfully close to an ‘if only you knew’ before you heard your dad’s voice echo down the hallway, ripping you away from your thoughts about the masked superhero.
     “Hey Spidey, I wanna talk to you about someth-“ 
     “Uhm…Hello, Mr Stark.”
     “Spidey?” you asked confused, eyes darting between Peter and Tony.
     “Uhhh...yea, about that...”
     “I’m Spider-Man,” Peter blurted out, causing your head to snap towards him.
     “You’re…Spider-Man…” you trailed off, your best friend nodding next to you.
     “Wait…that was you in DC? And on the Staten Island Ferry? And…oh god, the Coney Island thing, that was you too? Shit, Peter how stupid could you be? You were risking your life there, man. Dammit, Pete, why do you always have to be so fucking reckless, can’t you be a normal high school student like the rest of us?” you rambled on, your fist hitting his chest before you stood up and paced around the living room, fingers massaging the bridge of your nose before moving towards your temples.
     “I was just trying to help, (Y/N), I was-“
     “You were risking your fucking life there, Peter. You could’ve died for fuck’s sake," you exclaimed, throwing your hands into the air.
     “Yeah, I know but I didn’t. I’m alive and well,” Peter tried to argue with you.
     “God knows what could’ve happened with your reckless behaviour.” 
     You let your head hang low, shaking it in disbelief until your dad put a hand on your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
     “Come on, kid. Let him be, I already gave him a hard time about all that.”
     “I’m really sorry, (Y/N). I don’t know what to say to make you feel better,” Peter pouted slightly, placing his hands on your cheeks and raising your face so you were looking at him.
     “You’re an idiot, Peter Parker.” 
     Shaking your head you wrapped your arms around the brunette boy, pulling him in for a hug.
     “Well, I’m gonna leave you two alone, you got a lot of explaining to do, Pete,” Tony teased as he wandered off again. 
     Your gaze turned from your father to Peter the second the former was out of your field of view, Peter’s eyes focused on your lips but quickly shooting up to your eyes the second he noticed you turned your head back to him. The tension in the room thickened as you met his intense gaze, your face inching closer to his with every breath.
     “Did you ever plan on telling me?” you mumbled, his breath fanning over your skin.
     “Eventually, yes. But I wanted to find the right moment.” 
     Peter’s eyes shifted back towards your lips, biting his own as he did so, just for his gaze to flicker back upwards.
     “Can I kiss you?” he asked anxiously.
     “Please.” 
     Without hesitation his lips collided with yours, your arms wrapping tighter around his neck while he pulled you closer. The kiss you shared didn’t last long, just a few moments but you were just as breathless as you would’ve been if it lasted for eternity.
     “Don’t ever be so reckless again, please. I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”
     “I promise, I'm never gonna leave you,” he mumbled, not foreseeing just how much pain these two words would cause you in the future when you would realise he broke his promise to you, doing what he promised not to do.
--
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amethyst-wind-uk · 6 years
Text
The Agency of Max Caulfield (major Life Is Strange spoilers ahead)
Life Is Strange spoilers below (haven’t played Before The Storm yet though, so no spoilers in comments)
Life Is Strange spoilers below (haven’t played Before The Storm yet though, so no spoilers in comments)
Life Is Strange spoilers below (haven’t played Before The Storm yet though, so no spoilers in comments)
Life Is Strange spoilers below (haven’t played Before The Storm yet though, so no spoilers in comments)
Life Is Strange spoilers below (haven’t played Before The Storm yet though, so no spoilers in comments)
~ ~ ~
There’s a TL:DR at the bottom if you want to skip the full read.
Okay, so I just finished Life Is Strange. Probably the best story-focused videogame I’ve played in ten years. One of the best overall games I’ve ever played period.
However, as seems to be happening more and more with videogames, I can’t say I’m too fond of the ending. It kinda flies in the face of what Life Is Strange is supposed to be.
Max can either sacrifice Arcadia Bay so that Chloe lives, or she can sacrifice Chloe to avert creating the storm that consumes Arcadia Bay in the first place (via her time travel powers basically throwing a brick through the causality window).
I picked save Chloe btw, and it ties into my point for this post.
Chloe Price is the reason for Max Caulfield’s life. When she and Chloe separated as children (due to Max moving with her family to Seattle), Max basically... stopped. She stopped for five years. Her life went into standby mode. From her inner musings, Max basically confirms that her life is Seattle was comfortable and mildly happy, but ultimately there is nothing of it that made particularly memorable. Max was not the girl she was without her best friend, Chloe. She’d lost the part of her life that made it an adventure.
Chloe also suffered by losing the stability and unconditional love that Max provided for her, which tempered her impulses. Life Is Strange makes no bones about this fact. Chloe invigorates Max’s life via giving her courage and agency, while Max invigorates Chloe’s life via giving her a stable foundation to fall back on.
It continues right where it leaves off in the present-day events of Life Is Strange. In the prologue, before Chloe and Max reunite, Max is withdrawn and lifeless, even in her supposedly favourite class. And Chloe tries to extort cash from a literal gun-toting lunatic.
Once they find each other again, face-to-face, their immediate effect on each other returns. Max instantly gets more energy, and Chloe regains a friend and focal point.
Chloe and Max are soulmates. There’s no disguising that fact. There’s no attempt to.
Max, though, draws on the energy that Chloe provides to reach out to other students and make a difference in their lives AND her relationship with them, whereas she’d clearly been coasting with a select few, or simply not trying at all with most others. Her time travel powers give her the means to do this, but Chloe’s return to her life is her catalyst for it.
Still though, as the game goes on, Max makes ever more bad decisions. Mostly it stems from falling a little too much into Chloe’s Maxless lifestyle (which is up-and-down for Chloe as she goes through the contradiction of having Max back in her life, while simultaneously dealing with the fallout of events from when she did not). It’s a wonderfully done juxtaposition overall, and the writestaff should be extremely proud.
What Life Is Strange repeatedly beats both Max and the player around the head with, however, is that all your actions (good or bad) have corresponding reactions...
...BUT, far more importantly, it is made more and more clear that almost every decision that Max (or the player) makes should be made in the knowledge that the outcome of those is final. While Max’s rewind powers become more mechanically effective as the game progresses, they become less narrative-effective as time goes on. The bigger that Max tries to go in fixing her problems, the more that time itself fights back to deny her.
This is good. It’s the lesson that Life Is Strange should be teaching more than anything else: You get one shot at most important moments in your life. No do-overs. Make the right decision, and knowingly accept what comes your way because of it.
And now, finally, my point. There is clearly a higher power in play somewhere in Life Is Strange, as it gifted Max her powers in the first place. There’s no radioactive spider here, Max receives a literally superpower from something or conceptual entity greater than humanity will ever be.
The storm that destroys Arcadia Bay should have been nullified by Max’s resolution to make her own decisions, and seize control of her own life. In the game, Max’s final choice boils down to a simple ‘save a loved one or save many strangers’ choice. It’s a tried-and-tested morality choice. Fine.
Wasn’t necessary or, in my opinion, optimal for this particular game. The climactic decision in Max’s life shouldn’t have given the ‘paragon’ ending by her using the time powers she’d spend five chapters realising she shouldn’t rely on. It SHOULD have revolved around Max’s saying goodbye to her powers, resolving to give them up, and take control and ownership of her own decisions, fully in the knowledge that she has made mistakes in the past (on her own and for/due to Chloe). At which point, the mysterious power-providers would take back their gift, leaving Max and Chloe to deal with whatever final fallout the sum total of your game’s choices would bring. They’d accept the consequences, and resolve to make the right decisions from then on.
Max’s journal entries in the later game are increasingly about how helpless she feels about fucking up over and over, and having to rewind to fix it. I think the logical conclusion to that should have been for Max to work harder to make the right decisions in the first place, not be so rash or impulsive, and consider more when making decisions. Max should have grown as a person in her decision-making processes, and come to accept that she will still make errors despite her best efforts (though will learn from the better than she currently does), rather than continuously lament having to fix her errors.
One of said decisions is to finally accept that neither she nor Chloe are close to perfect people, and that their influence on each other is not always positive, but ultimately come to the conclusion that they are better together AND will reach a much higher ceiling on making the right decisions together.
THAT should have been the revelation to complete Life Is Strange, not a moral choice that clashes more than a little with how the rest of the game plays out up until that point.
Max’s final refusal to continue to use her given powers, and rely on herself and her own decisions, should have been what caused the storm to disappear, by taking Max back to that first scene, in Jefferson’s class. Only this time, she’d take on the agency that Chloe provides her before she even reunites with Chloe, and from that point on. The final scene would be her waiting for Chloe in the carpark, with visible agency in the process.
I think this would have made a far more coherent message for Life Is Strange to leave us with: That your decisions can’t be done over, and you should know this (and that there will be consequences) before you make them.
And, also, that that’s okay. Because you have made those decisions and have the courage to live with their outcome.
The only reason I hesitated before picking ‘save Chloe’ (which is how I saw it over ‘sacrifice Arcadia Bay’) is because I knew it was the ‘paragon’ choice, and I usually go that way in these moral choices. Chloe is the only part of Arcadia Bay that would do anything to help Max reach her full potential, and vice versa. The other choice is far inferior, in my view. More overall is gained by saving Chloe. They don’t need Arcadia Bay, only each other. (Sorry Kate/Warren/Juliet/Joyce/Daniel).
TL:DR - Max should have lost her time powers by willfully resolving not to use them, as she has gained the agency necessary to not need them, nor want to rely on them, anymore (initially through her relationship with Chloe, and then via their relationship leading to greater growth for both than they could achieve without each other). Passing this final test of character should have rewound Max to the first scene, rather than her consciously choosing to rewind, so that she could FINALLY start making the last set of decisions on the matter.
(P.S. sorry if this is rambling mess, I’m kinda writing it as I go here. Still gonna post it, though, because that’s a decision I’m going to make and live with.)
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head-and-heart · 6 years
Text
The 100 Ask Game
Thanks for the tag @istilldothiseveryday ! This looks fun :)
1. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? 
Protests? Can you get arrested for that on the Ark?
I dunno. I have a very strong personality I’d probably get into to some kind of trouble politically on the Ark 2. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? 
Nah. I’m very much alike with Clarke in the way I think and as much as I may like to stick my middle finger up at the council if I was sent down on the dropship, I think I would see the value in having the Ark (aka. a functioning society) follow us down to the ground. I would be scared out of my mind of the Grounders - back up would be nice. 3. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) 
Probably a mangled mess of metal cause I’d shut down that shit SO hard
4. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? 
Maya. I understand that her surviving doesn’t really make any sense and they needed her to die for jasper’s arc or whatever BUT TBH SHE HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL??? Like, I stanned her team-up with Bellamy so hard; I’d literally sell my soul to satan for her to be incorporated into the delinquent’s group. Can you imagine her suiting up and going on hunting missions with Harper? Attending Lincoln and Bell’s sparring lessons? Sharing her music with Gina at the bar????? Helping out Abby and Jackson in medical???? Having heart to hearts with Clarke about her mom (and Clarke’s dad), who both died rebelling against the system??? Cracking jokes with Monty?? imagine if she went up to space with the squad, and what their relationship could have been like then! She could be their medic on board. 
People always simplify Maya to her relationship with Jasper (and yes they were cute) but SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE. She was smart and courageous and selfless - she had fire and wit and strength and i m i s s her. 
She’ll never see Earth, never breathe real air, never float on the water, never meet Riley 
We’ll never get to see her grow up and it makes me sad
5. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? 
Raven and Monty because they’re GENIUSES obviously.
Lincoln and Bellamy so I don’t fucking DIE lmao - I know they got my back (my poor boys - both too selfless for their own good)
Clarke cause the Angry Cat game is strong and she’s got a real knack for not dying even when she should, probably, be 110% dead 6. Minty or Briller? 
Briller. Tragically, Bryan only started to interest me in 4x02 when they gave him more dimension by visiting farm station. 
Also ... how can you say no to chickens?  7. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)
Uhhh. Keit? Kayt? 
What a lame name 8. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious
i don’t know him
9. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? 
I doubt I would take it. Unknown drug with unknown effects? Sounds pretty sketch. I don’t see myself going for that - I’m a generally skeptical person. 10. What character do you relate to most & What character do you like the least not including the obvious ones like Pike, etc… 
Definitely relate the most to my INTJ queen Clarke Griffin! 
And Octavia is probably my least favourite character. I can see why some people like her and the merit in her character arc I guess but tbh she just IRRITATES me to no end - she has certain characteristics that really grate at me. Obviously, some characters are horrible people (like Dr. Tsing ew) but Octavia just infuriates me because of some of her characteristics.
She’s not for me. 11. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical) 
Something practical cause I’m boring. 
Cargo pants. Ark-issued t-shirt. And a nice warm jacket. The jackets the characters wear on this show are pathetic - they barely look like they keep the wind out. And only Bellamy zips his up. smh vancouver is colder than it looks - all that humidity
As for a trademark thing? 
I’d be the only arker with an “I <3 BELLAMY BLAKE” t shirt probably
12. Favorite type of mutant animal?
Bellamy’s three-headed doggo he hasn’t found yet
anyway i still have hope
13. What would your job be on the Ark? 
I think I’d follow in Raven/Monty’s paths a bit and go into something mathematical like engineering but knowing myself I’d probably end up moving into politics later on. I have too many strong opinions to put up with the Ark system lol 14. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?
Oh HELL no. I’d probably throw up all over it. I’m sorry Clarke. It’s not like that’s ACTUALLY how blood transfusions work anyway *intense side-eye at The 100 “science”* 15. If Lxa wasn’t Heda, but she’s still alive right? then who would make the best commander? 
None of them. Bellamy x Clarke leadership duo. I don’t care about the Grounder commander system - it’s all kinda bs anyway. 
None of the individual leaders on this show have done a good job. They’ve always functioned best as a team (which is why I want the Bellarke leader couple back) 16. If you were a grounder, then where would you live and who would be your mentor? 
I mean I know she went all cray cray and they all died but probably Luna’s rig. I don’t want shit to do with the other clans, who are always warring with each other. And I think Nyko would be a pretty good mentor. I’d like to learn medicine.  17. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? 
Let’s be real, I’d probably start crying about how Bellamy and Clarke are in love and wHy cAn’T tHeY jUSt bAnG aLrEAdY ... and Finn would be real mad about it if he was in charge of picking my ass off the floor like in “Day Trip” 
ha! I think it would be worth it 18. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake? 
I mean ... I definitely wouldn’t lead a manhunt to kill a thirteen year old girl so I can say with a lot of confidence that I would NOT follow the Murphy route. Not so sure I’d just pardon her though. I think the delinquents needed some kind of prison system. Charlotte did murder a kid. Even though she was a child, there probably should have been some kind of consequence for that (though not killing her would be ideal) 19. Who should be the Chancellor, if anyone? 
Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin co-leading motherfucking power couple
I will accept no less in canon. just let me fucking have this
20. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod)What is the one thing you would snatch while there? 
Oh, the iPod for sure. I literally don’t know if I could live without music. I’m listening to it ALL the time - I’m listening to it right now. RAIGN is playing *cries in Bellarke* 21. Do you think you’d have caught the virus spread through camp or would you have been immune like O.ctavia? 
I’m a weak ass bitch so probably 
and on the basis that I don’t like any of the people who ARE immune then maybe I don’t wanna be - what’s the point of surviving in a world where you’ve only got Finn Collins and O.ctavia Blake for company?  22. What would your grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? 
I want whatever makeup L.exa’s got from Polisephora. You think she’d share some of that eyeliner? 23. Favorite quote? 
“Shouldn’t there be more to life than just surviving?” - Clarke Griffin (2x14)
24. Can you forgive Murphy for his actions? How about Bellamy?
Yeah. I feel like we’re kind of past this point in the plot. They’ve both showed development and change and I think we’re definitely at a place in the story where both of them are intended as sympathetic characters to the audience. 25. If one of the characters was in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? NOOOOO ALREADY SO MUCH DEATH NOOOO 
I’m going to answer this as if all of our characters were thrown into the ring and I have to predict which one would win. 
I wanna say Octavia because I think she’s independent and - er - determined enough to take out someone she knows if it came down to being the two of them to grant her own freedom and survival. Whereas, someone like Clarke or Bellamy or Kane would probably just nightlock it cause they’re self-sacrificial af. 
But then I also think maybe Murphy ‘cause cockroaches never die (thank you Raven). 26. Least favorite ship? Favorite ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC 
Least favourite ship that people actually like? (aka. not something like Clarke and Jaha)
Probably B.echo (as a romantic relationship, not necessarily sexual). Hate to be basic and predictable but I think I would actually die if it were endgame.
FAVOURITE SHIP THAT ISN’T BELLARKE
how dare
If you asked me this a few months ago I would have told ya Niytavia but now that we’ve gotten more teasers about Octavia’s character in Season 5 I’m not sure if I want her anywhere near her (I like Niylah when she’s hot, but not cooked, ya feel?)
So maybe Jasper and Raven. Idk. I liked their friendship. Still bitter about Season 4.
I don’t really ship anything besides Bellarke that much. They’re an anomaly for me. 27. A song that should be included in the next season, like when Radioactive was? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo? 
Tbh RAIGN goes hard af so anything by her would be pretty lit. 
I mostly only associate songs I listen to with Bellarke when I’m applying them to the show so I’ve got like 100+ songs that I would love to use for them but its hard to think of a context where they would fit in with the tone of the show
And I want Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir to cameo. They don’t need to say anything - they just need to stare soulfully into each other’s eyes in the background. 
... or makeout
Whatever. 28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time? 
Steal the wine. Have karaoke battles. Drunkenly cry because RaVEn iS sO sTrONg and sO gOoD (and he would cry with me - he WOULD). 
Gossip about Bellamy’s butt.
The possibilities are endless, really. 
29. Opinion on Emori? Roan? 
I don’t really have a strong opinion on Emori. I feel like our knowledge of her is still so limited. She’s still barely interacted with anyone besides Murphy. But I’m guessing that may change in Season 5. I’d like to see her interact more with Bellamy, since they both have siblings (and Emori was the disgraced child too, just like O). Not many people can relate in that sense.
I really liked Roan but TO BE HONEST I found him more intriguing in Season 3 than in Season 4. He was literally up there in like my top four or five characters in Season 3 - I was so excited to learn more about him! In Season 4 he didn’t have much of a character arc, he was just kind of there to look moody and badass.
But honestly Roan is one of those characters that I don’t think was necessarily intended to be funny (as opposed to characters like Jasper and Wick) but his interactions with Clarke, Bellamy, and Echo offered up the occasional piece of comedy gold. He went too soon. Forever mourning the bromance that he and Bellamy could have had.
30. Would you want to be an extra that is killed off in a brutal way? 
I wanna be Satisfied Girl.
Or Riley. Everyone loves that guy
so ... no? maybe? does it come with the job? 31. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?
CADOGAN. @metastation has ruined me; now I just want more!
Also any of the Eligius crew tbh 32. A character you’d bang? 
Omg like all of them.
Bellamy and Raven are up there tho. 
And highkey Bree could get it. She looks like she knows what she’s doing.
Echo’s hot but i dunno chains and choking aren’t really my thing
Anywayyyyy I’m way too late to the party so I won’t tag anyone but like if you feel like doing this GO AHEAD ! And you can tag me in your post if you want too
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sveasauvageon · 4 years
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Nothing happened to me. I happened. || GW
☾♔; March 19, 2018 ☾♔; sotd: idk yet ☾♔; comedian otd: JOHN FU.CKING OLIVER ☾♔; GW NPC Audition II ☾♔; {G} https://goo.gl/XSTtMc ☾♔; mod(s): @themadmonarchist @maybones et moi
Preamble Ramble: finally an opportunity to write for my favourite psychopath (also probs my fave out of all the characters I've ever made. soz everyone else)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀Dominika Grigoryevna Vororina, (approx 460)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I'm a cool girl ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I'm a, I'm a cool girl ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ice cold ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I role my eyes at you, boy ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-⠀Cool Girl by Tove Lo
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ THE BASICS
Nickname: Nika, Professor Vororina (generally addressed as such, rather than as a nickname), Khalessi (self-applied), Professor Khaleesi (makes students call her that, mostly first and second years as a joke, somewhat, older students whom she is "fond" of may continue calling her that, or people trying to be a teacher's pet), Rurikovna (literally; "daughter of Rurik", it's a self-applied title as well) Gender: cis-female Date of Birth: Vaguely winter (it was a long time ago) Place of Birth: Moscow Kremlin Nationality: Russian (she's held a bunch of citizenships over the years, but she's gone back to Mother Russia recently)   Ethnicity: Eastern Slav Accent: Russian   Blood Status: muggle-born/half-breed (of sorts)  
Profession: Potions Professor at Hogwarts (also Head of Slytherin House)
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Face Claim: Rebecca Ferguson
Hair: She's had an array of colours over the centuries, always long, but the styles have varied over the centuries. She currently favours fiery red or slivery-gold/platinum, changes it on a whim. Could be Russian witch stereotype red in the morning, and then Khaleesi coloured in the evening.
Eyes: Blue-green, occasionally they seem to flash red, though she claims that's just a trick of the light (or is it? tun, tun, tun!)  
Height: 1.7m
Weight: idk, but also what does it matter, she's immortal and basically undead, her body doesn't change.  
Body: lean, lithe, unnaturally attractive
Any Scars/ Marks?: none
Any Tattoos/ Piercings?: just her ears, triple pierced or whatever for ear cuffs.
Quirks/ Mannerisms: - eerily silent, she doesn't make any noise when she moves, no matter what she's wearing.   - some may notice her smirking to herself in the corner now and again when chaos is erupting in the foreground (did she 'cause it, is she approving of it? Who knows)
Style: expensive. She likes wearing dark and/or vivid colours, as well as sharp and elegant clothing. Her style can best be described as "instilling fear in the hearts of men". Well, that's her wardrobe's goal, anyway.  
Additional Information: - wears a f u c k ton of heels, like, always, and yet they never make any noise - always seems to have a little box (or whatever) of fries/chips (whatever you wanna call it, as a north american, I call 'em fries) in her hands - likes wearing crosses, mainly as an inside joke with herself
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ PERSONALITY:
Head cannon: Nika has a slightly complicated reputation, well, first off, she's a teacher, so she's not really involved with the hierarchy, she's outside of it. Her reputation, however, runs as either the coolest or scariest teacher. It really depends on how "interesting" she finds a student, she will spend time with them (positively or negatively), if she finds them to be "dull", however, they literally look like furniture to her, she will speak without ever hearing them. She's both a chill and strict teacher, if you get the work done, you can do whatever you want, if you're goofing off without doing anything or proving to be a nuisance whilst she's speaking, you may find your cauldron spontaneously exploding. She can also be chilling with the nuisances, if someone is speaking whilst she is, the cauldron will go "boom" whilst she continues on with the lesson as though nothing dramatic is happening. She's not an all together bad teacher though, if she finds people interesting, she'll spend time with them and actually attempt to pass on knowledge and throw questions at them during class, and even ask about their problems and whatnot if they're looking down (though it has been observed that her "advice" does not lead to the best result, and more often than not results in more difficult and complicated situations for the person). Additionally, whilst she does not actively hide that she's a vampire, she also does not go out of her way to confirm that. But does make nerdy "full moon tonight, don't be out too late" type jokes.
Theme Song: Khaleesi by Ramin Djawadi
Personality (+ 5, - 5): Psychopath. like, a real proper psychopath, not just as a word thrown around at homicidal maniacs or selfish dovchebags, she feels literally nothing, and not in a "cool girl" way, she can't feel anything, her brain's just not wired for it. She generally displays herself as a confident, intelligent, classy, and elegant, well-educated, proud European, and is seemingly easy to befriend and get along with so long as you like clever things and/or sarcasm. However, she's faking all of that. She doesn't really "feel" anything, and one could describe her as being "empty". Her entire personality has been meticulously built by herself over the centuries to best and most easily fit in with society and not draw unwanted attention to herself. All of her emotions and personality traits are things she's mimicking from people she's met, and she was doing so before she even became a vampire. Having been born a psychopath, she doesn't have the same emotional range that normal people do, she just can't feel anything, she's incapable of it. She has a complete lack of remorse and guilt, she doesn't even have the same "biological imperative" impulse that the rest of us have when it comes to blood relations and their safety. A majority of her relationships are superficial, based on physical attraction and/or mild amusement, but genuine and deep relationships is a struggle for her. Next to impossible, it's not that she doesn't want to care about pretty boy 57, it's just that she can't, also who cares about such disposable people anyway?. Having said that, it's not impossible for her to actually care, it's rare, extremely, but not impossible. In her entire life (which is nearing 500 years and including all potential plotting), she only formed a genuine bond with (up to) three people, and her own family is not on that list. So when she does genuinely care about a person, she's extremely protective of them, given how rare it is, and is excessively aggressive towards any she deems has or may harm them.
Nika is genuinely very logical and rational, and has a rather scientific mind. Or more one of a mad scientists'. She's extremely curious about the nature of humanity, and one can even say that she "enjoys" experimenting on them by forcing them into complex and difficult situations and observing how they react. She also has a tendency to experiment on herself, as a child she would harm herself, not out of a sui.cidal desire, but to see how much pain she could tolerate, if she would feel fear when she got close to death, if she would/could cry, etc. (she didn't cry, or get scared, but her heart rate went up sometimes, which was fascinating). When drugs became a thing, she took literally all of them at various doses and mixes just to see how it would affect her as a witch and a vampire. She also experimented on animals, she's stopped now, except with dogs, she kills them after the third annoying bark (I'm sorry, but she's a psychopath, that's what they do! TT_TT). She's never grossed out and probably too okay with blood and guts, and too good at dealing with it. Highly organized, and punctual, she displays a reckless and complete disregard for the safety of herself and others (with the exception of those whom she has a genuine bond with). She's a pervasive liar, deceptor, manipulator, and is quite narcissistic, and superficially charming. Whilst rage is not a common "emotion" she experiences, irritation is one that she can genuinely feel, and when genuinely irritated by something, she has a tendency to cause it immense physical pain before ultimately killing it.  
Any mental health issues: she's a genuine psychopath, whilst she doesn't think there's anything wrong with her, according to society, she's messed up.
Favorite Quotes/ Sayings that your character would use: - "Nothing happened to me. I happened." - NBC's Hannibal, said by the titular character, and definitely something Nika would say because I'm a nerd who makes references. - "I have what used to be called an axis II personality disorder. So you can scream and cry, and beg all you want. You can tell me about your spouse and kids, all about your happy little life. When I kill you and them, I won't feel a thing." - okay, there isn't much context for her to use that now, but she totally used it before, or a version of it.   - "It's amazing how easily the human brain can be manipulated." - "You think I was damaged? Some childhood trauma? That's so sweet." - said by Root from Person of Interest - "You should know torture almost never produces good information. Well, almost never." - also said by Root, she has the best quotes tbh - "I bleed like everyone else, but I don't feel. My heart rate won't  even go up. Cut me open and let's see if I scream." - again, not something she has much opportunity to say now and days, but defs something she's said in the past. - "How arrogant of you to think that any of us are anything, but irrelevant." - said by greer, also from person of interest "You don't take over the world with gaudy displays of violence. Real control is surgical, invisible. It interferes only when necessary. " - also said by greer
Additional Information: - animals naturally fear her, some even go to extremes to avoid her, and dogs tend to bark at her whenever she passes by (part of why she hates them so much, also, should mention, they've been doing that since before she became a vampire. It's the psychopath they instinctively fear, well, now, the vampire too) - Seems to know every language there has ever been. - piano and violin (she had time to kill) - quite good at video games (where as I am trash), enjoys open-world/high fantasy games like The Witcher and Dragon Age
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Relation to your OC: professor
♣️ Family Background
Nika is from a mainly muggle family, her father was Ivan IV aka Ivan the Terrible, first official Tsar of all the Russias (later Russian Empire) and her mother was Anastasia Romanova of the House of Romanov (later became Tsars themselves until the Bolshevik revolution and establishment of the Soviet Union). Her father had multiple wives and mistresses, resulting in numerous siblings and half-siblings.
Through the union of her father and mother she had 6 full-blooded siblings, many of whom died in infancy; Anna Ivanovna, Maria Ivanovna, Dmitri Ivanovich, Ivan Ivanovich, Eudoxia Ivanovna, and Feodor Ivanovich (later Feodor I). She had two half-siblings from her father's later marriages, Vasili Ivanovich, born to her father's second wife; Maria Temryukovna, and Dmitri Ivanovich, born to her father's seventh and final wife; Maria Nagaya.
Nika maintained a mostly positive relationship with her father's numerous wives. Her mother died less than two years after her birth, so she didn't know her well, but a maid later admitted to Nika that the Tsaritsa was somewhat off put by baby Nika's lack of crying. With her step-mothers, she was well-behaved and polite, but she never cared for them. They provided no interest to her, and by the fourth wife, she began viewing them the same as mistresses or as toys, to serve a purpose and be quickly replaced with they failed in their purpose. She found his fifth wife; Anna Vasilchikova, enjoyable and even endearing to an extent, however, she didn't remain long and was quickly forced into nunnery.
As for her father, they had a somewhat contentious relationship. It was the 1500's, so there was the whole "women are less than men" thing going on, something which Nika never understood as a logical concept. She was always smarter, stronger, and more able than Feodor (her elder brother by just a year)since infancy (oh, also, she didn't like Feodor. She considered him weak, and a pointless existence who would've been better off as furniture). Regardless of that, however, they did get along on certain things, especially when it came to the Oprichnina and Ivan's darker habits, which she shared and initially some would say she inherited from him, until later seeing acts that outweighed anything even Ivan would dare to do. Their relationship later completely deteriorated when he killed her brother, and his heir, Tsarevich Ivan.
Ivan was always her favourite sibling. Of all the Tsar's children (excluding Nika herself, or rather Vasilia as she was called then), Ivan was best able to handle the Tsar's moods and behaviours, and similarly best able to handle Nika's psychopathy (the Tsar wasn't a psychopath, fyi, from what I've read, he was definitely paranoid, I would say paranoid schizophrenic, but they're not usually violent, and Ivan IV was super violent. It could've been due to the time period and the power he had, but meh. I'm not a professional, just a bad student). Anyway, back to little Vasilia and big brother Ivan. Out of all the others, he was the only one not immediately terrified by her darker tendencies, and even convinced their father to allow 11 year old Vasilia to join them during the Massacre of Novgorod, thinking (correctly), that she would enjoy it (she loathed when they retired to church for prayer though). Although he never fully realized how different she truly was, Ivan was the one who taught Nika to mimic her emotions and behave as a proper Tsarevna, and allowed her to express her displeasure and dislike, and every other "abnormal" emotion she experienced in private with him (some stuff which did freak the fu.ck out, especially, what she admitted to doing to the pet dog of a courtier she found annoying). Following Ivan's death and an argument with her father, she left Russia, but not before taking the cane Ivan IV used to kill Ivan with and burying it in the latter's tomb with him.
♣️ Family Affiliation: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Slytherin House, Russian Ministry of Magic, Rurik Dynasty, House of Romanov, Russian Throne, Koldovstoretz, The Bolsheviks, The Society for the Tolerance of Vampires in London (she joined jokingly, but they still haven't grasped that),    
♣️ Socio-economic status: confusing. She seems to have a lot of money, but her pay from Hogwarts is not enough to cover all her tastes and material objects. Few dare to question her, but for those few who do, her answer for where her money comes from is simply "history"
Quick facts:
Born in 1558 (February 3, though she claims she's forgotten the exact date), she is the last daughter of Tsar Ivan IV with his first wife; Anastasia Romanovna. At birth, she was given the name Vasilisa Ivanovna, and was an odd infant from the get go. Whereas her numerous other siblings cried, she never did, even as an infant, which unsettled her mother, though her father was pleased by it. As she aged, she began to realize she was different than her peers, and not just because of her position. She was indifferent to their fears about wars, and was not easily distracted by shiny things or "cute" animals as they always were. Some maids would joke behind her back that she was "undead" child, as she never displayed any joy or interest, or any emotion really. She would only animatedly chat with her elder brother, Ivan. However, Vasilia truly came alive upon her father's creation of the Oprichnina. She was only a child when it was formed, less than 10 (between 6-7), but would attend every execution, and was noted to have had a chilling grin on her face as the "traitors" (as labelled by her father) were killed one by one.
Nika discovered magical abilities at age 5, when a playmate brought over her new puppy to show Nika and the other royal/noble children. It's barking was driving Nika mad, and it suddenly lost it's voice. She later developed more control over her abilities, using them to slow down blades as it moved through someone's neck, framing annoying maids and servants for theft, sometimes setting them on fire. Ivan was the first to find out about her magic, and out of fear that she may be burned, did his best to hide her magic. They were found out by their father's third wife; Marfa Sobakina, whose mother was a witch (making her a squib). Instead of being ratted out, however, Marfa was able to convince the Tsar to send Nika to a far away boarding school, excellent for girls of "her" nature, and refining her into a lovely young woman, instead of the oddly, blood thirsty child people feared her to be.
Although beginning at Koldovstortez, she flourished there, particularly when it came to the dark arts and dueling, she had an uncanny knack for using any potion and/or spell to cause harm to others, both physical and emotional. After completing her education, she never pursued a career in the magical world, she was a vital piece on the chessboard of royal problems, and instead fell in line with her siblings, marrying a muggle boyar of her father's choosing (she has forgotten his name at this point though. Nikolay? Dmitri? Viktor? She can't recall), however, she was simultaneously engaging in an affair with a woman named Maria Dolgorukaya (regarded by history as an entirely fictitious wife of Ivan IV), who was secretly a vampire, drawn to muggle court games. Together they disgraced and ruined many nobles, a number of whom lost their heads to her paranoid father. Whilst their relationship was passionate and explosive (especially for other people), the true extent of Nika's care for Maria remains unknown, she was more than expendable to her, but she certainly did not "care" for her in the way that she did for her brother. They engaged in an argument, which eventually grew physical and resulted in Nika's turn into a vampire and Maria's corpse floating in the river (it's unclear how she died though). About a year later, her brother died too and she left Russia.
Before 1692, Nika spent a lot of time in the muggle world, particularly in royal courts, and "played" various roles, including; advisor, mistress, royal mistress, seductress, assassin, tutor, governess, maid, agente provocatrice (a female who entices one to act criminally and/or against their best interest), noblewoman, damsel in distress, and damsel doing damage. After the International Statute of Secrecy became law, she left the muggle world for a while, engaging with the newly cut off wizarding world, and she found real joy in settling into their small tight-knit communities and stirring up drama (ala desperate housewives). However, that thrill only last for so long, and she turned her attention back to the muggles.  In 1888, she ran about Whitechapel, in London, England, as the infamous and still unidentified (to the rest of the world) muggle serial killer; Jack the Ripper. Masquerading as a nurse at the time, she killed only the canonical five, and her spree was initiated by interest in police procedure and behaviour. Following the thrill of the chase, she ended up back in Mother Russia, where she took part in Bloody Sunday, also known as Red Sunday, Jan. 22, 1905, and fired upon the unarmed demonstrators as a member of the Imperial Guard. She later changed her identity and became a member of the Bolsheviks, and took an active role in the Revolution of 1917. She became an informal member of Lenin's cabinet, and was the original person to set the Romanov execution into motion, though, it was never traced back to her, and they were also distant cousins of hers.
During Soviet Russia, she based herself in Sverdlovsk (present day Yekaterinburg), where she created a sort of cult of vampires, dark magic, and murder. Whilst the humans made Sverdlovsk an economical powerhouse, she made the city a hub of supernatural superiority, deviance, and debauchery. It was impossible to walk two steps without running into one supernatural being or another, most of whom were vampires and/or dark wizards. She spent the longest amount of time in Sverdlovsk, as compared to the rest of her vampire life, living there from 1925 - 1989. Having grown bored, she allowed hunters and whatnot to enter the city and "cleanse" it, whilst she escaped and moved elsewhere in Europe. After acquiring the identity of "Dominika Vororina", she accepted the offer of a position as a professor at Hogwarts, mostly of out renewed boredom with the muggle world.  
Additional Information: - despite having lived for nearly 500 years, she's never stepped foot in the united states.   - most of Nika's life is defined by involvement with muggles, she's never really had any close ties to the magical world, which also allows her to more easily hide the nations worth of bodies and mayhem in her past
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Hogwarts school stats: n/a She never attended Hogwarts as a student, however, Nika is an alumni of Koldovstoretz, where she held a dark reputation, even as a Russian in the late 1500's. She was rumoured to practise dark magic (of the illegal and murderous variety) and consort with a displaced group of dark wizards from the recently sacked Novgorod Republic (ironically, it was her father that sacked them anyway). Largely, she was a solitary student, though in later life she would claim that's because they were scared of her station (whether or not this is true is up for debate, as she uses a wistful tone and has an expression of "struggling to hold back laughter" on her face).  
Any Pets?: none, animals fear her. Especially dogs. And she in turn loathes those grimy mutts. She does like dragons though, and they're the only known creatures not to instinctively fear her or attack on instinct.
Reputation at Hogwarts: (mixed in with the headcanon part, meh, she's a teacher and not a student anyway, so her "rep" doesn't really matter)
Additional Information: n/a
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Wand: Vine Wand Core: Thestral tail hair Wand Length: 11 ¾" Wand Flexibility: swishy
Patronus: Dementor  
Boggart: it appears in it's true form before her or simply takes her shape, as she is a genuine psychopath who does not feel real fear. She's never disclosed it's appearance to anyone though, originally it was out of a need to keep her psychopathy hidden, later, simply "just 'cause", and a desire to forever leave the suckers (everyone else) guessing.
Amortentia: Amortentia potions don't emit any scent for her, as a psychopath, she is incapable of emotions like love. Whilst it's not completely impossible for her to form a genuine bond with someone, a lot of that is dependent on what that person does for her, like an uncle teaching her to hone her abilities or explore her psychopathy. Those genuine bonds are always selfish on her part, and exceedingly rare. She can't feel love the same way as normal people, she didn't even form a bond with her parents, and doesn't experience attraction (of the romantic and/or sexual kind) in the same way that regular people do.
Affinity to any particular magic? - wandless magic (she's quite proficient with it, and rarely uses a wand at all) - nonverbal spells - whilst talented with dark magic in general (she's a psychopath, how else will she magically experiment on living things), the cruciatus curse is probably her favourite, and she can perform it both nonverbally and wandlessly.
Additional Information: - although many things about Nika have changed over the centuries, including her name, her wand is the only thing that remains unchanged from when she first obtained it in 1571
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Username: @drownedinmoonlight Activity Level (Scale 1-10): 8
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⚜️ OPTIONAL Playlist: https://goo.gl/hgLGub Moodboard: https://goo.gl/CVY1pY Social Media (instagram, facebook, snapchat, twitter, etc) : Storyboard: Aesthetic Collection: https://goo.gl/8qDwce Wardrobe/Style Collection: Plotting Set: Story:
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When you have completed the audition, please tag the mods: @drownedinmoonlight @themadmonarchist and @maybones and use the hashtag #GWnpc
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franeridart · 7 years
Note
Every time I see your art of a rare pair I somehow become a huge fan of that rare pair. I have too many otps...,
...is it okay for me to be happy I’m dragging you down with me on all of my weird ships because tbh I am for a lot of them there’s just a handful of people shipping them I’m happy you’re joining us hahaha
Anon said:because of your tags on that kamisero post i now love the hc that kirishima just uses loving bakugou as an excuse to get out of conversations that make him uncomfortable, even if it makes no sense. Like 'any advice on how to confess?' 'I'm dating bakugou, you probably should ask someone else.' or 'how do you think snow works?' 'Dude I'm dating bakugou, i don't know.'
I’m in love with this ask because this has been my most ridiculous headcanon for an age I’m glad I could subtely make you share it, anon - Kirishima being perfectly aware of the fact that aside from the face there is no objective reason why he should be that smitten with Bakugou? That’s my jam, he’s as surprised as anyone else so when people ask him anything love related he’s like “do I look like a reliable source man DO I I think it’s hot when Bakugou yells there’s obviously something wrong with me you don’t want my advices”
But also for however aware of it he might be he’s still in love with the dude so people pointing it out to him gets old really fast, like, “it’s one thing if I say it myself and another it’s you talking shit about my boyfriend stop that”, which is why he just starts using “what do I know I like Bakugou” as an answer to anything - it starts with him being a smartass and it becomes just habit by the end of it, sometimes he uses it when Bakugou is around or with Bakugou himself and Bakugou doesn’t understand, doesn’t want to understand, has pondered the option of getting angry/offended/demanding an explaination and has deemed it not worth his time because the answer is most probably just gonna be that his boyfriend is an idiot anyway
(also he might or might not like how Kirishima’s pretty much just going around telling people he likes him over and over again, tbh)
Anon said:Any tips on how to be creative with ship week prompts? I'm wanting to participate in klance week but I'm worried my pics will come out really basic and yours are always so unique!
Thank you for the compliment!!!! And actually this is an hard question, cause as I already mentioned once what I draw is the first thing with a beginning and an ending I can come up with, so I can’t say I put too much focus on making it unique? But there are two things I can tell you! 
The first, is that whatever idea your prompt ends up giving you, for however boring and basic it might seem to you, I assure you 100% that it won’t be to whomever ends up consuming your content - that’s because even a “boring” trope will be completely new as long as it comes from the hands of someone new who’s giving it their own interpretation of it (take for example the nightmares prompt for the latest krbk week, a lot of people - myself included - took it literally and wrote about them having and talking about nightmares, but I enjoyed every and each of the fills a lot because even if the starting point was the same they were all very very different stories) and also any idea you get easily will seem boring to you by default, because you didn’t think about it hard enough, right? It must be the obvious thing to think about when you read that prompt, right? Everyone else must have thought the same, right? Only it isn’t right, because every brain works differently and creativity sparks from the most ridiculous things, so your idea might seem very obvious and boring to you, but completely new to someone else! You don’t know how many of my own fills felt incredibly trite as I drew them, and yet here you are telling me you don’t feel the same at all haha
The second thing is that generally I found that creativity is... how do I put it, it’s kind of like a muscle. The more you exercise it the easier it will come to you using it, or at least that’s how it works for me - being creative isn’t really something you can force on the spot, but it’s definitely something you can learn and get used to, in my opinion. There are a few ways to exercise it, but the easier one for me is playing around with prompts - how many different ideas can I get from this same set of words? what kind of story can I pull out of this song/picture? Those are the most basic ones, but there’s also reading/watching a story and trying to adapt it to your own chosen characters, fit together more than one universe to try and pull out something sensible, seeing something in the middle of the road and thinking “that’s a prompt, I can use that as a prompt”. After a while, everything becomes a potential prompt, and your brain automatically goes through a short “can I use that to create something else?” check every time you experience something new, and stores it somewhere to use in the future if it seems potentially worth keeping, if you’re used to doing so. And the more little prompts and informations and facts you have stored around in your brain, the more you can subconsciously pick them up to add to new ones to make something creative
That second part is definitely a bit useless as a short term advice, considering your week is starting soon and exercising your creativity does take a while, but I hope you’ll give the week a go anyway! Both because I’m sure you’re already way more creative than you’re assuming you are, and because making creative stuff is the fastest way to becoming more creative, really!
Anon said:I LOVE UR DRAWING OF KIRIBAKU U MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE. THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR BEING PART OF THIS FANDOM, WE ARE SO LUCKY! I ALSO LOVE HOW U HUMOUR AND MAKE IT SO SWEET AND CUTE ANNDD SOFFFTT T_T
BOI thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O* I’m glad you like my stuff??? There are so many super talented artists in this fandom, sitting with them sometimes can get intimidating haha so this really means a lot!! Thank you!!!
Anon said:Wow can u believe......ur my fave artist......ur Kiris are my fave ily
F ave !!!!!!! holy h e c k !!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!! Do I deserve such praise I’m really not sure am I gonna keep it anyway yes, yes I am, I’ll keep on thinking about this ask forever oh my go d
Anon said:Who usually tops in Bakushima?•//////•
Ohhh man, a question I can’t answer - both because I don’t dwell much into sexy headcanons territory AND because I’m honestly not a fan of that dicotomy at all? I never settle on anything in that sense for any of my ships, but Baku and Kiri especially make no sense settled in that kind of roles, for me, they probably just go at it however they feel like it’d be best atm haha
Anon said:I never expected to ship bakushimanari and yet here i am, three hours after scrolling through your tag for the third time, crying over every single interaction between the three of them in the manga. (I think my favourite thing about them is that both Kaminari and Bakugou can be little shits but then there's kirishima, who's an unrepentant sunshine, and it's just like. What a terrifying trio. I pity any villains they face).
I know right they’re such a good ot3 !!!!!! though let’s not take anything from Kiri, when he’s with the squad he can be a shit too, it’s magnificent - I do love the fact that we know from the canon that both Kaminari and Bakugou don’t sympathize with the enemy at all and don’t hold back on fighting verbally either, while Kirishima is all “stop running away and let me give you a life lesson” though ??? And the fact that Bakugou and Kaminari can’t coexist without talking shit about each other at least a little makes it all even more entertaining to me, considering how on the other hand even though Kirishima doesn’t hold back from pointing out when Bakugou’s being ridiculous he’s still always all about support and trying to better the others??? It’s like, when you read it like this they seem like a mess, and they are but they’re a balanced mess it’s incredible I love them I need more of them all together
Anon said:Saw Tokoyami, fell, and now I can't get up ))':
Anon said: Hello I just wanted to express my thanks to you for the bakugou and tokoyami interactions you drew. I love them as friends and it's pretty rarely portrayed so THANKS~
Anon said: Listen as much as i love the ot3 i am so happy you drew my bird son (and tape son! tho i think youve drawn sero more often than tokoyami)
!!!!!!!!! you all sure love the bird child a lot, don’t you!!! That’s great because I do too, he’s one of my most faves tbh and I officially made him part of the squad so you can expect more to come - I had drawn him already before, though! With Tsu and Kiri mostly, never with Baku... Sero on the other hand is in a whole damn lot of my squad/kiribaku/bakushimanari drawings so yeah, I’ve definitely drawn him more often haha what can I do man I love him too much he’s a Good™
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kristallioness · 7 years
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"North and South: Part Three" - a review
My copy of "North and South: Part Three" arrived exactly a week ago and I finally managed to read it (for the first time in the correct order without skipping any pages) yesterday early morning around 5-6 am. I'm not sure about the previous trilogies, but since I'm aware of how this one has received so much critique and it's probably my favourite out of all of them, I feel the need to share my more-positive thoughts (and protect my babies).
Before I begin, I'd like to point out what I've already written about some of the scenes/pages when I first saw them (basically my first feels about those moments): pages 5-15, 16-20, also a few random pages. Besides that, I wanna share this good review I accidentally stumbled across while searching for scans and this awesome video (with a fitting sound effect), where Katara slaying Gilak and Aang catching Hakoda has been animated.
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Alright, since the third part starts with Toph Beifong and her students continuing the work at the oil refinery, I'll start with my thoughts on her. The way Toph talks to her students is hilarious - they're the most prestigious and only metalbending school in the world. When she asks Ho Tun whether they're metalbenders or lily livers and he hesitates before answering - priceless. Dude, like you ever had a choice.. I must agree with Toph that politics are (often) dumb.
Katara ain't interested in helping to build something that can potentially damage the environment of her home - darn right, I support her! For those who might not understand why she's against the oil refinery, please read my review of the second part over here. I've explained it pretty well why I can understand her concern, as well as why she's not happy about changing everything they've ever loved about home (like she says a bit angrily to Sokka, who's clearly much more excited).
Let me continue with some other side characters while I'm on the topic. There's one character I'd like to bring up here, who simply kept surprising me throughout this last part and who I am so-so proud of - Zuko. I just wanna hug him and tell him how proud I am of him, okay!? That moment when he said the Fire Nation is ready to help the Southern Water Tribe, especially since they've caused enough harm to them during the war - it reminded me of his daughter, Izumi, doing the contrary 70 years later when she refuses to join an unprovoked attack against Kuvira's army with the United Republic of Nations due to the Fire Nation's warlike history. Even the angle on their faces during these scenes is the same. Like father, like daughter for real here. Zuko's humility is worth noting.
There were some other fun moments with Zuko that I liked, such as how he and Sokka hugged during his arrival at the South Pole (for the first time after the war!). Can I just say, brotp for life? I love how this reminded me of Zuko hugging Aang before they parted ways in "Smoke and Shadow" (the angles of these scenes are the same, too), but now they're reuniting. Speaking of hugs, I cannot stress enough how much I love that the world leaders (Avatar Aang, Head Chieftain Hakoda, Earth King Kuei and Fire Lord Zuko) are getting along so well. I repeat, I wish that such a peaceful time would come to our world, too. Kuei offering Zuko to join him in Bosco's paws is such a simple, but sweet and caring act. This really gives 'bear hug' a new, quite literal meaning. Zuko being afraid of bears is another amusing fact. One final thing, I loved how the writers showed that Zuko's a master planner, too - like Sokka, he can anticipate their enemy's moves, understand the motives behind their demands and he knows how Gilak thinks. Also, crossing-his-arms pouty Zuko is adorkable and cute.
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Enough about the side characters, I'll talk about the conference since it already came up earlier. Let's take a step back before the meeting because I love that Sokka supports Malina during the unrest in the beginning. She really needs someone (besides Hakoda) to be there for her during such a hard time - her brother Maliq was sent back to the Northern Water Tribe along with the rest of her crew, they were both nearly killed, she had to see the love of her life almost bleed to death right in front of her. She hasn't had it easy either.
I also enjoyed seeing Sokka's enthusiasm towards his father's presentation during the meeting, like a best friend cheering his mate on, supporting each other. Now that's the kind of father-son bond I love. I hadn't seen page 22 before, so that really made my heart skip a beat (in a good way, it was a nice surprise) - the foundation of the future Southern Water Tribe, laid down by Hakoda and Malina. I felt so happy to see the familiar plan of what we've already seen realized 70 years later (during TLOK Book 2). This connection made me smile. During the fight I loved the scene of Sokka throwing his boomerang to cut down the chandelier so it'd fall on the soldier's head. Look at his smug face, such satisfaction.
In contrast to Sokka's delight, I loved how an annoyed Katara defended her point of view when the Earth King declared that he might not be ready to aid them with their plans. Her comparison of the Outer Ring (I do believe she meant the Lower Ring though?) and her home in particular was supposed to be a nice (unfinished) insult, since Kuei implied that her tribe should be cleaner. Well, the tribe being warmer is something they can't change, but then again Kuei hasn't even seen the world, so he doesn't understand how climates and weather work. I'm rather quick to forgive him for his clumsiness, however, I understand why Katara is justifiably angry at him for saying such things. But, as a reader, I'm ready to give Earth King Kuei time to learn. Because I know where he comes from and why he's like that.
Moving forward a bit, there was a moment involving him, which felt like a cold shower. It was the moment I realized that the situation's serious, far more serious than I'd originally imagined. When Zuko claimed that killing the Earth King could start a new war. This was a possibility I'd never considered and the mere thought sent shivers down my spine. The Earth Kingdom attacking the Southern Water Tribe for murdering their leader. A frightening reality.
While the Earth King was gone, I really felt for Bosco, who was obviously worried about him. Hakoda correcting Malina that the bear missed his best friend, not his master, was very endearing (I'm loving their private moments more and more). Like Appa was worried about Aang when he disappeared into the Spirit World. Both times, Katara's the one who comforts them - I guess she has a way with animals, too, just like her boyfriend (these two are perfect for each other). Also, I like to think that Momo and Bosco are best buddies.
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Having mentioned the fight and the kidnapping, I'd like to write down my opinion about that as well as the beginning of the exchange in the mountains. First off, that fierce glare at Gilak when Katara wanted Aang to drop her - my only thoughts were something in the lines of "Oh, shit! She's mad.." and "Damn, she's ready to shred him to pieces!" (honestly, so would I be). Lesson learned (long ago, actually) - don't mess with this girl or her family, because she will kill you. Katara and Aang's teamwork in order to save Hakoda was excellent. Aang's face when Sokka and Katara told him about the Bridge of No Return later made me laugh though. The Southern Water Tribe can be fricking savage.. good luck with your girlfriend there, Aang! I'm just kidding.. but seriously, Southern Water Tribe people are not to be messed with.
Coming back to Aang and Katara, I've gotta admit that I was pleasantly surprised at how much they interacted in this part (my expectations were low based on what I'd heard). There were so many little moments or big action scenes where they were together, all of which filled my heart with joy. For example, once they'd reached the Bridge of No Return, Aang was standing a few feet away from Katara when he answered Sokka's question. But he noticed that Katara was worried - she didn't even address him, he simply noticed. So Aang just walked up to Katara to kiss her cheek and comfort her that everything's going to turn out fine. What a cutie! Just look at that gentle caressing of her right cheek, she's smiling while holding onto his forearm to hold it steady (or to pull him in closer because she likes what he's offering to her - love, comfort and hope).
Following this scene, when the members of Team Avatar were getting chi blocked was a moment where I felt like I wanted to jump in the middle and interfere to help them. Chi blocking has always creeped me out (in the sense that you'll be completely defenceless/paralyzed), so this particular scene wasn't pleasant to read for me, even though I liked it. Sokka's reaction really made me laugh - kind of not the time to be happy about it, buddy. Also important, Hakoda worrying about their well-being and calling them kids is touching (well, they are still teenagers so it makes sense).
I was absolutely mind-blown by the plan Sokka came up with on how to neutralize the chi blockers' attacks. This was a nice tie-in to the armour of the Metalbending Police Force of Republic City. Turns out it wasn't Toph who invented the originals, instead it was Sokka! His plan in general was ingenious. I'd seen the pages where they were chi blocked, but I hadn't seen how they come out of it. I expected them to wait or stall Gilak's army long enough for them to regain their ability to move and bend. This was an amazing turn of events. Toph and Katara getting revenge on those two annoying chi blocker siblings - I just wanna praise my girls forever because gosh, I hated those two! They really irked me. I loved Katara and Aang's quick reaction when they had to go rescue the rest of the three still hanging from the rope bridge. Sweeties saving people together.
I liked the way Hakoda talked to the Earth King while he was walking to the middle of the bridge. He was supportive and tried to help Kuei get his mind off the fear of falling by reminding him of Bosco. I didn't notice until I reread the book a second time, but when Malina is saying her final farewell to Hakoda, the Earth King is crouching and covering his eyes whereas everyone else's mouths are wide open. Either he can't look because he's scared to see what'll happen next or.. he's crying.
When the rope finally broke, the looks on everybody's faces killed me, especially Sokka and Katara's. How many times does Katara have to scream "Dad!" and have my heart break into a million pieces? I don't think this question will ever receive an answer. Hakoda's a side character and as we all know from the original series (for instance, take Yue or Jet), anything can happen to these beloved characters. And Hakoda's one of my favourites! He really has a special place in my heart, he reminds me of my dad and that's why the whole Hakoda-Katara (father-daughter) dynamic makes me emotional every single time. I see a lot of myself in Katara, too.
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And with that, I reach the most heartbreaking turning point of this part - Malina sacrificing herself to save at least one of them, namely Hakoda. How did I interpret this moment? In various ways.
First off, I immediately noticed the gleam on Katara's necklace and knew it was related to what she says at her mother's grave the next day. It symbolizes her mother's courage running through her veins, her instincts kicking in to go save the woman. But I think there are two other things that are going through Katara's mind.
Katara sees this as the moment Aang fell in the Crystal Catacombs, which she mentions the next day. She sees herself in her dad, having to witness the love of his life die right before his eyes (again). Besides that, it also symbolizes what happened 9 years ago - Katara being the first one to see the look on her dad's face when he realized he'd lost Kya. Remember, Katara and Hakoda both ran into their igloo and found Kya dead, Sokka probably joined them a bit later. Their mother, his wife. The worst part is Katara has seen it before. It's a painful reminder that back then (and for the following 6 years) Katara blamed herself for not being strong enough to save her mom. But this time everything's different. She's a master waterbender, she knows she's capable of saving Malina, that she can spare her dad from going through the same hurt he had years ago. I imagined that during this moment, Kya was knocking on Katara's conscience, telling her to "Go! You're strong enough now! You can do this, sweetie! Save her!.. For him.".
Also, I realized that this is a powerful parallel - someone Katara hates (or used to hate) finally earns her trust completely, proving that their feelings for her (as a friend / as a future stepmother) and her family are real, they really do care for her and have no intentions of betraying her or her loved ones ever again. This is exactly what happened to Zuko during Sozin's Comet - he jumped in front of Katara to protect her from getting struck by lightning, which was the final and most important act in his redemption arc (concerning her). Malina does the same in order to spare at least one of them (I mean Hakoda, since Aang could've easily flown back to safety) - she accepts her fate (her eyes tear up) and willingly releases her hold on Hakoda's hand. Neither character knew that Katara would (or could heal the damage made by lightning) save them. In a way, Zuko and Malina have a similar history when it comes to befriending Katara. And this is definitely something I really love. I'm satisfied with how Malina and Katara's relationship was handled, how she earned the girl's trust by proving that her feelings for her dad were sincere. I knew it'd have to be something big because, like I said in my previous review, Katara can hold a grudge.
Cut to the next day and I admit that I wasn't prepared for this moment - Sokka and Katara visiting their mother's grave. I was really confused at first because I thought the water tribe siblings went to the place where they found Aang, but the iceberg had melted and the ground had resurfaced. I needed to read Katara's lines twice before the reality sank in and I understood why she was saying those words. The Kya-Katara (mother-daughter) dynamic has always been a touchy issue for me, too, so I broke down in tears and sobbed for a longer while. How could I have been so foolish? I still cannot believe it..
Remember when a 14-year-old Katara confessed to Haru that her mother's necklace was the only thing left of her and it wasn't enough for her? Katara, now 17 years old, has realized that there's something much bigger she inherited, someone who's been with her all this time - Kya's courage, her mom's been with her all along. This is an important step forward (in healing) for Katara. She understands that her mother's love is still inside her heart, similarly to how Aang learned (from guru Pathik) that the air nomads' love for him is still inside his heart. Look at him staring at her lovingly as she mourns. Aang's proud of Katara for reaching this realization.
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I'm gonna finish with something slightly happier, something I haven't discussed yet, but it's connected to the previous scene. The next living southern waterbenders, Sura and Siku. I managed to completely nail this subplot when I guessed what'll happen in the third part in my previous review (I'm so happy I foresaw it!). The only part I didn't see coming was Katara explaining the loss of her mom and the meaning behind it to the little girls. I bet she explained this the same way to her daughter Kya years later, I've even written my version of this happening over here. Sura and Siku understanding what Katara told them and demonstrating their waterbending to her deceased mother shows that just like the Air Nation will be reborn in 70 years, the Southern Water Tribe is very much alive. All in all, a very sympathetic ending for this subplot.
The waterbending lesson with Pakku, Katara, Aang, Sura and Siku is among my favourite scenes from this trilogy. Aang stating that Katara helped him end the war, the two of them waterbending together to show the little girls what they can (learn to) do, Katara kneeling down to the girls' height and slightly tilting her head to talk to them (her motherly side showing) - all so precious.
Do you know how children usually say things like they are? Well, I adored how they spoke about Master Pakku, it was so sincere, truthful and funny altogether. But I also understood why the girls were scared / didn't wanna show their waterbending to him. Think about it from their point of view - a strange old man who can waterbend happens to find their well-hidden village, tells them that the Hundred Year War is over and they don't have to hide their waterbending anymore. For all they know, it may be a trap and those monsters could still be out there. Where's the proof? Sura and Siku aren't convinced until they meet Aang, who confirms it.
There were so many bits and pieces I really loved that happened after Sura and Siku ran away. Pakku being sarcastic towards both Hakoda and Aang, the latter blushing as a result and the former thanking him for trying to teach those girls. Hakoda was interested in seeing what the two of them (I believe he's referring to Katara and Aang) were up to, addressing them as Team Avatar grows on him. I'm telling you, I love Hakoda so much!
And then there's the entire scene with him, his baby girl Katara, her boyfriend Aang and his pet winged lemur Momo. I love this scene for so many reasons! Including Momo finding something to eat and Aang making sure that he's well-fed (as well as the way he gulps that fruit in one bite). Hakoda being proud of Katara for becoming such a great healer, wondering whether he'd still be alive if it weren't for her (just.. I'll never get over this). Katara worrying about her dad's health (she gently wraps her arms around his), telling him about Team Avatar and her concerns about their home with Aang defending her arguments about the plans. This is the kind of scene about Hakoda, Katara and Aang spending time together that I've been wanting to see.
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To sum up, the only solution we didn't get was an explanation as to why the Southern Water Tribe is considered to be a colony of the Northern Tribe. However, while writing this review, I thought of a wild theory I'm gonna put out there. We're aware that Sokka was the last known Chief, right? If he didn't have any descendants and Katara didn't want to take on the role (being devastated after both Aang and her brother's death), then wouldn't that mean the southern tribe remained without a chief? So the Northern Chief automatically claimed control of both tribes, whereas the South still had the Council of Elders (who would later choose Tonraq to be the new chief). It didn't happen 70 years ago during Aang's time, it happened 70 years later during Korra's time. Just my idea I thought I should share.
The ending where Team Avatar is cooking together, people/ world leaders from all 4 nations are present (note the 4 elements in the correct order forming half of a circle on both sides), sitting together like family and enjoying a good celebratory meal - I believe this is a very nice way to wrap up these series for now. Gave me warm feelings and really melted my heart. Also, chubby Momo in the end!
I'd love it if the next trilogy continued by showing Team Avatar leaving the South Pole. But just before they leave, Aang and Hakoda talk privately and he asks for Katara's hand in marriage. Hakoda gladly agrees and they leave, Katara is unaware of what Aang wanted to talk to about with her dad (he keeps it a secret). Aang would propose in the third part of the trilogy, very near the end. I'm weak, but it's a great opportunity to ask and this is a moment in their lives that I really wanna see!
In conclusion, the comic trilogy "North and South" has touched me in so many ways - I've smiled and laughed, shed countless tears during heartbreaking/heartwarming scenes. It's reminded me of how much I love the Southern Water Tribe and Katara's family. How much joy I feel seeing Team Avatar back together again. I cannot possibly put all of these feelings into words, but ultimately I'm more than content with how everything turned out and very happy to own copies of these three parts. "North and South" may just as well be ranked at the very top of my list.
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“Son of a BiSCuiT. “ - Episode 5
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You know what I just fucking love. Being on a  tribe with none of my allies in the game. That's so ideal to me. Like it makes me feel amazing knowing that if this stupid twist of individual immunity continues, I got screwed by a fucking tribe swap. I literally want to FUCKING DIE. 
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Good golly, Miss Molly! So much has happened today, where do I even begin? After immunity...the messages about strategy were surprisingly empty. I spent the whole day talking about trips to Chicago and American passports and, girl...I don't even CARE. I think the biggest thing I learned about this tribal is that...I don't really think anyone really knows what's going on. I think everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move and I'm guilty of that to. I think this taught me a very valuable lesson: it's not about subtlety. It's about being direct. I think I can pull off still being direct while being open...girl, I HAVE to. I believe the demise of Darian occurred because, from what I gathered, he wasn't...flexible enough? But that brings us to another thing. Those hookers sending their confessionals are TOO MUCH! They're mouths move a mile per MINUTE!!! I didn't know a THING about why Darian was the vote but those confessionals taught my everything I needed to know. The first thing is that Darian was leading something and was overthrown. The second is that the girls are together. ...I'm not feeling that one, Maury. Girls working together is not good, mainly because I'm not in that. At this point, I feel like I'm just barely bobbing above the water and that I'm doing the bare minimum to not be considered for a vote. I've really got to be more careful about what I do in this competition. Especially after this particular vote...looking back on the past, between Darian and Sam, it would have been better for my game for Sam to have left. Like I said earlier, I really don't have good vibes from the original Tasi tribe. I...kinda want them all to bite the bullet now that Shea's gone, I'm not even sure if Lily's the most reliable ally anymore. My trust is shifting so much from person to person from that tribe. In an odd turn of events, my closest Tasi ally is Seamus. SEAMUS. Girl...that's a twist of fate if I ever saw one. But regardless, it's an empty victory with Darian leaving. Did I vote in majority? Yes. Do I like that Sam is still here? ...No. *sigh* Whatever. Tribe switch happens. Literally...oh my gosh. I'm literally with all the people that I talked the LEAST WITH. Seamus, Gabriel, Rhea, Chrissa, Jonny, Dan...THEY'RE ALL ON THE OTHER TRIBE!!! I'M STILL WITH LIANA. FOR F*CKS SAKE!!! The only people on this Finite tribe that I can trust are Sara, Lily and Amanda. THAT'S IT!!! Son of a BiSCuiT. The only thing that I can keep in my head is that everything happens for a reason. Maybe...this is the chance to strengthen old bonds? Or perhaps make crucial new ones? There's always something to look forward to in Survivor so...that's what I hoping for here! Liana said to me that there's a lot of old Tasi's on this tribe which she views as an advantage. Girl...I hate having to suck up to Liana but if something keeps me in the game, it keeps me in the game. If going back to Tasi to destroy it from the inside is what I have to do, honey, I will do it! I've got to get to that top and I really want to have a good representation of myself in this competition. I've got a lot riding on this competition, I don't want to lose! Plus, I've got Shea depending on me to do well so...I'm going to do whatever it takes to go far. At the end of the day, I'm here to slash throats, save my family and wear ugg boots. I'm going to do whatever it takes and I'm GONNA WIN! Oh and...vote with more than 3 minutes left on the clock. LOL! Wish me luck! Sincerely, Canada's Self Proclaimed Favourite~ Kelsey Mikaelson!
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Okay so WHEW. I truly did that huh. Well my friends on the other tribe did haha. I'm just really blessed to be here and to have my health. Jesus is good. God is good. Anywho, I'm really just trying to see how the vote is going on the other side because I need to make sure Amanda and Luke are safe. Amanda told me she got an idol from the deep, which is good because if Liana, Lily, and Sam try to go for her I can give her a heads up. I messaged Billy because he's someone I'd want to work with while over on this side. He's a strong competitor and a threat so I figured he could be a meat shield for me. I don't know what kind of implications this immunity win will have for me, but this hunty is safe and all these other hoes aren't.
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http://youtu.be/Vk-qOIBmDz8
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Whew ok so I'm high-key freaking out cause my tribe is an absolute ghost town. Apparently it's between Andie and Sara which is fine but like...I don't know if it's a definite thing? I've only heard back from Lily and Liana and so that's all I have to go off of...I know Kelsey and Jenn will vote whichever way so we have the numbers I'm just nervous of Andie might've found anything in the deep. I don't know if Sam has anything or if she's even back for that matter......So yeah. I wish Dan and Seamus were here but I just hope they're safe for now. I'm lucky to have a Tasi majority here so hopefully things work out the way I think they will!
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Last round was lit! Darian started throwing my name out but his messy ass asked so many people who I was aligned with or am friends with and stuff so I had like 3 or 4 different people come to me and tell me he's throwing my name out so I went to work and got people to help me recruit other people and get Darian out. It was awesome. So this round I didn't really talk to people too much but I went to the Challenger Deep and I did level 1 which got me a sneak peek at another level so I did level 19. There's some power there that will help me save an ally or something! All I have to do is get 4K on snake. [insert extreme Ciera eyeroll gif] I hate so much honestly. I couldn't do it. I had to give up and get back to my tribe because I need to know the vote. I guess it's gunna be Andie with a few on Sara just in case? I don't know I'm just glad it's not me. 
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so im feeling fine, like i thought id be smooth sailing through this vote bc emma and rhea are inactive but i think my name is starting to come up. i made an alliance with dan. and kait and i are also close. but thats basically it. ik dan is friends with everyone but hes all i got!
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Literally Emma can fuck right off. Calling me a back stabber? Where in our conversation did you see us align? I remember talking about the state of Oregon. I didn't realize Oregon was a code word for "LET'S MAKE AN ALLIANCE." Girl bye, I don't know you and you're cancelled. All kidding aside, I hope she's okay because I heard that she has had some personal life things going one. I wish her well. 
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Okay. I just want to say I love everyone. And every vote I make is no time personal. It is just to advance my game. I love everyone. 
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Ok...I like Andie....And I don't want Andie to go over Sara....It would help if Andie talked to me....But you know....It's a little too late to change my vote....I don't know what Kelsey's doing.....Amanda wants Sara to go.....I don't know what's happening at this point so if Andie has some crazy twist up his sleeve I'm gonna be happy and terrified and...Yeah. I'm a mess to say the least.
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