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poisonous-honey · 3 months

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Soul Crushing Guilt

(This is a re-upload: Originally posted to UniverseUchu on December 2nd, 2022)

You've treated them all like toys. In your defence this was just another video game to you a couple of weeks ago, but they're actually real with thoughts and feelings of their own. You don't know how to feel.

Who’s Here! Venti

Contains: isekai reader, Self Aware Genshin (not the Cult SAGAU), Insecurities (reader), Hurt/Comfort I guess it’s called

Note: I will say this takes place in the middle of a story, but it works on its own and I really liked how this turned out. I do have more written, but it's incomprehensible (even after a whole year it's still incomprehensible lmao)

Sitting on the cliffside of Starsnatch is not where you intended to be at this time, but your soul crushing guilt and insecurities have led you here. You needed to be away from all the positivity from everyone in Mondstadt. Their kindness was only worsening your mood. Staring over the edge, lost deep inside your head, you almost miss the way the wind whirls around you before you hear the one person you wanted to avoid the most right now.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Why’d you leave without saying anything? Everyone back at Mond is worried, you know.”

You don’t say anything in response and let Venti walk up and sit next to you. You both stay silent and watch the waves crash onto the beach. Venti occasionally takes glances in your direction, but for the most part his eyes are on the scenery. After a few minutes, he tries asking you again.

“I know you told us that we aren’t overwhelming you, but please, if we actually are-”

“That’s not the reason I left Venti.”

“Then what is it?”

Silence is all that greets him. “Please, we just want you to be comfortable with us. We can’t help if we don’t know.”

Hearing him say that only makes you feel more guilty. They’re all so nice to you, and for what? The pressure and the guilt keeps building and building the more you stay here. Everyone’s been so understanding and kind, but all you’ve done before is use them any which way. You’ve judged them for superficial reasons and have even gotten them killed on numerous occasions. Venti showing up and putting the blame on himself and the others like they’re the reason you left just adds onto your shame as tears start to escape your eyes.

Upon seeing your eyes water, Venti slightly panics. “W-Wait, why are you crying!? I’m sorry for whatever-”

“Venti please stop.”

You turn to look Venti in the eyes, and see the panic and worry etched onto his face. It only makes you feel worse.

“Venti… Why are you here? Why do you keep following me?’ You look away from him, trying to keep from balling on the spot. ‘Why are you so nice to me?”

Hearing this, Venti’s face slowly scrunches in confusion. “What do you mean? Of course, I’m going to be nice to you. Where is this coming from?”

“You were conscious the entire time I was playing. I used you all like you were dolls for my amusement. After I got you, didn’t you feel like I was holding you captive or-or like some sort of toy forced to do my bidding? I don’t understand why no one hates me! I feel so guilty of everything I’ve said and done, but everyone’s apologizing to me like they’re in the wrong, and I don’t get it! Especially you! As the God of Freedom, don’t you hate me for taking away your own freedom from you? I just don’t understand… So why…” Unable to continue, you look away as you try to wipe your eyes and wait for Venti to finally tell you he hates you. That he’s going to stop pretending and get up and leave you alone. In your mind you know he would never, that's not who he is, but fear and anxiety is irrational.

Your breath hitches as you feel his hands land on your cheeks and turn your head to look at him. Instead of the disgust or apathy your heart was expecting, Venti’s face is filled with sorrow.

“I can’t believe you would think so low of me.’ He looks downwards and wipes away a few tears with his thumbs before looking back at you with nothing but care. ‘I guess from your point of view that’s a reasonable assumption to make, but you seem to be forgetting one key detail.”

You stare at him as he proceeds to give you the smuggest look you’ve ever seen on him. “I came home extremely early on my banner, didn’t I?”

What he’s saying doesn’t make any sense to you. He’s already treating you extremely differently than you anticipated, and now his question is putting your already malfunctioning brain into overdrive. What did his banner have to do with anything?

“What? Venti I-I don’t understand. What are you trying to…’ Finally, it all starts to click into place as your eyes widen, and his stupid grin gets larger. ‘You… Did you influence the banner wishes???”

Venti laughs joyously as he lets go of your face. His eyes sparkle like he’s recounting the best moment of his life.

“Why yes, I did! I actually got in a lot of trouble for that! It's part of the reason you lost the next 50/50, but I couldn’t miss the chance to join your team. I refused to wait another second.”

“But why? I still don’t under-”

“I have the freedom to make my own choices, do I not? I wanted to join your team, so I did.”

His expression changes from smug to such a soft look. You have a hard time believing it is being directed at you.

“Why, yes, I may be the God of Freedom, but I’m also simply one of the many characters this game has to offer. I’m one of your many characters in particular. And out of such a colourful cast of individuals, I was your favourite. To be the reason someone even downloaded our game in the first place sends me over the moon. For everyone else, you still give their lives a purpose and have earned everyone’s respect. Sure, you might be a bit crass, but even when you were rude or made a mistake, you still treated everyone with more care than necessary. I especially could feel and hear the level of adoration you had for me through the screen. To me, there’s nothing I want more than to travel by your side for as long as you’ll have me.”

Such a heartwarming and earnest speech from Venti has your eyes start to water again. Not all of your insecurities and guilt have been lifted, you don’t think that kind of guilt will be something you can get rid of, but with Venti here…

“You’re allowed to stay for as long as you want.”

He cups your cheeks again while looking straight into your eyes.

“Then till death do we part, my dear player.”

You break down and cry as Venti pulls you in for a hug. With Venti by your side, you know he’ll help you through your guilt with as much care and love as you’ve given him.

#sagau #self aware genshin #Venti x reader #Genshin x reader #x reader #self-indulgence ftw baby #I don’t know if I’m going to post more of this #If I am I’ll make a header to organize just a little bit #I really love what I have #but I’d need to heavily edit it because what I actually have written down is nigh incomprehensible #Pois.Posts #Pois.Writes

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koipalm · 1 year

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resident evils.... snoozing

#the evils are ASLEEP do NOT wake them up. because theyre snoozing.#my art #resident evil 8 #resident evil village #re8 #ethan winters #karl heisenberg #wintersberg #at least i am. pretty sure that is correct #anyways this might be surprising content but i DO doodle. on occasion. i dabble #and of course it is the most self indulgent thing.... but that is what i do here no #the primal urge to see your little guys snug as a bug and snoozing....#i should draw more quicker sketches like this. it was very fun #anyway heisenberg snores LOUDand ethan sleeps through it like a true dad

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gremliinsart · 3 months

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Your bubble propoganda came in the form of putting him in a letter with cute decor, glitter, stickers, stamps, and cursive, and slipping him under my door.

I grieve the timeline where you never drew Carnival Bubble. I would be absolutely DEVASTATED if he never made it in the au... IM SO SORRY IVE COME TO LOVE HIM SO MUCH... CAINE WOULD N O T BE THE FUCKING SAME IN HIS WRITING WITH OUT HIM.

Wehehe 💖💖 I gave you an offer you couldn't refuse >:3

It always makes me happy seeing people in the comments going "BUBBLE IS SO CUTE!!" Everytime I see a drawing of Carnival Bubble I kick my feet and giggle and point and go "Ahaha! I did that!" It always brightens my day UwU

I have partly to thank my sibling who encouraged me to DIY my own Carnival Bubble after I was in shambles to see my favorite little guy missing from the line up

Anyway enough rambling I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU DO WITH THEM I KNOW YOU GOT SOMETHING PLANNED I KNOWWWW 🫵

BUBBLE LOVERS REJOICE!! WE'RE IN THE GOOD TIMELINE!! YIPPIE!!

#Listen I'm of the opinion that if your au doesn't have Bubble then WHAT'S 👏 THE 👏 POINT 👏/j #...or am I #I'm glad you came to love them as much as I do because tbh they were a very self indulgent design #listen it's my brand at this point. I see something that could use more pink and hearts and I do it!!#I'm such a lovecore ass bitch what can I say?#and again I'm always a sucker for a main character with a little buddy who's their best friend 💖#Caine deserves a little guy who follows him around and shows him funny cat videos on YouTube ok?#sits in his lap like a dog and talks about the history of cotton candy y'know?

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fisheito · 23 days

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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking #my immediate thought was #i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him #bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent #but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally #it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying #the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias #then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought #i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him #AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND #originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went #WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN #BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS #but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it #i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding #so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown #i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said #kuya #yakumo #yakuya

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natade-art · 2 years

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kuina lives au #8374 u can't see it but kuina has wado here

ID: first of three images is normal pre-timeskip Zoro standing next to Kuina. Kuina wears a white sleeveless top, green hakama pants with a pink sash, a brown leather belt, and a blue embroidered haori over his shoulders.

Second image is a page of sketches in blue lines. Kuina and Tashigi side by side, Tashigi sheepishly smiling and holding her sword to her chest while Kuina looks sullen: captioned “transmasc swag but in different ways”. To the right, Kuina holds up an image of younger Zoro and asks “have you seen him he’s green and very stupid”. Under these is Kuina sitting, looking serious, fist clenched, labeled “cool rounin looking for brother”, and one more sketch of Tashigi berating Kuina (no dialogue) and Kuina thinking with an exasperated grin “she sounds just like I did...”

Third image is just two sketches in green: Zoro laughing at Kuina, asking “so, brothers, huh?”. Kuina embarrassed and annoyed says “do I need to beat you a 2002nd time?” with the context “started saying he was looking for his brother out of convenience and it stuck” to the side with an arrow pointing to him. Under them it says “they are brothers now”, followed by a sketch of Kuina waving and introducing himself to the Straw Hats, with Usopp and Nami thinking “this is Ace all over again” end ID

#next time i draw this kuina design ill make the pants look better more like what they actually are i am afraid of carpal tunnel though #roronoa zoro #kuina one piece #one piece #kuina lives au #its not even really a kuina lives au REALLY its just a fun little self indulgent twisting some detail of the straw hats stories au #im still figuring it out #thats a really long id. well...

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ahollowgrave · 2 months

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#pigeon screens #odette hollows #these are very self indulgent (what a surprise) but i am very enamored by the rue/yab body out of the yab discord #I wish (always) for a bigger belly and I know the lux body is out there and it's *beautiful* but the chest is too much for Odette #which is why I haven't used it #anyway she has such #shape #i love she #i'll stop taking shots of her naked when i'm dead tyvm #kissing the stretchmarks on her inner thighs my favorites

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rivalmelty · 9 months

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they are fukuzawa’s boys, adopted twins, and menaces to the yokohama police

(pls do not tag as beast)

#oriondrewthis #bungou stray dogs #bungou sd #bsd ranpo #bsd odasaku #i’m glad everyone likes my extremely self indulgent au #i’ve literally been thinking about it for three years and it’s like free therapy istg #as far as i’m aware there aren’t really any fics about this au #but i could be extremely wrong about that idk i haven’t read too many bsd fics if i’m being honest #i have a personal google doc full of hcs and drabbles that i’ve been adding onto for years #but that’s really about it #i know i’m not the only one who’s thought about this concept #i just have never interacted with anyone who shares the sentiments who aren’t my friends who i’ve forced the concept onto #i will defo be drawing more of them in the future especially considering. canon events currently agskdjdkd #but yeah thank you for the love 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽#they are brothers your honor #oh it’s very important but ranpo is older #by five days but it doesn’t matter he’s older and that’s what’s important #yes i am ignoring that technically in canon ranpo would’ve been 22 in dark era #and odasaku is canonically 23 in dark era #this is my self indulgent au and i make the rules #two pillars au

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ministarfruit · 1 year

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day 24: “got into your nerd activity because I love you” ♡

(prompt list for femslashfeb)

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jxsterr · 3 months

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ghhghgb pre calamity zelink but zelda grows a quiet rebellious streak after her father forbids her from engaging with sheikah technology and link volunteers as her ‘grew up as a regular village boy so of course he’s a terrible influence’ sidekick so they sneak around and do all sorts of things kids their age do because they yearn to feel at least a little bit normal despite all the pressure on their shoulders. also because i’m still hung up on why the hell his royal cap was in her room

i’m a slowburn truther but hear me out

i’m talking about link soothing an upset and understandably frustrated zelda as she rants about how unfair being forbidden to engage in something she enjoys by suggesting they simply just sneak out and enjoy it anyway. by telling her that he knows the patrolling routines well enough from being around the other guards so often that he can evade them. that he’d take the brunt of it if they were ever caught and watches how stars burst in her eyes at the prospect. he tells her that if rhoam is willing to void her of any sort of hobbies, any kind of relief from the stresses of her duty that they will simply make it themselves

so they learn to sneak around. he takes her out late at night to marvel and prod at the inactive guardians, jotting down notes and making sketches of the mechanisms as he keeps watch for her. she sneaks into the guards quarters to see him whenever she’s been too caught up in prayers and duties for him to be around. he sneaks into her bedroom to sprawl out on her bed while she dishes the castle gossip idly or drags him into her study and miserably details her struggles at growing a silent princess herself. they essentially become each other’s source of respite

but you know what i eat up the most?? them having the thought that. damn. they’ll never get to experience what a lot of kids their age get to because of their positions and responsibilities. they’ll never get to experience proper physical affection from another person, or steal wine from the kitchens and deal with the consequences of being a little too overzealous with it, or even experience what it’s like to be kissed. they’re just two kids desperate to feel normal just for a little while

so they’re like fuck it. the world could genuinely end tomorrow so why not start ticking off the list. they’re two people stuck in a shitty situation against their own volition who’ve grown close because of it and trust each other with their lives. why not help each other live a little

so they do it. they let tentative fingers tangle themselves whenever they dare stand near, cuddle on zelda’s bed after a long day until they fall asleep by accident and have to figure out a gameplan to get him the hell out without being suspicious about it, steal a bottle of wine to take turns drinking from on the battlement between her room and her study and cough at how damn strong it is because they didn’t realise you had to sip it, and exchange lingering kisses behind the safety of her bedroom door because why not. they lose even when they’re playing good, so why not take a little bit of control of their lives and do something for them when the calamity could appear at literally any point. they may as well live every day like their last when there’s so much to lose and nothing to gain.

it doesn’t even matter if they catch feelings from any of it anyway because they can figure it out if they even get past ganon. nothing is for certain when her cursed powers refuse to answer her so what the hell does it matter. so what if it starts with kisses that only occur occasionally when they’ve stolen wine again and their hearts can’t seem to stay off their sleeves for long enough to realise just how close zelda is sat next to him. so what if they use it once while completely sober to reassure the other in a last ditch attempt to calm them down and it just kinda sticks. so what if it becomes a game of how many they can sneak in small fleeting moments where every second counts and they only just about avoid getting caught. it’s a little bit of fun and goddess knows they need something good for once

they’ll figure out what all of this means after everything—and that’s if there’s still anything to come back to

#yes this is incredibly self indulgent shoot me #also idk what happened to the formatting i am sorry #zelink #legend of zelda #link #loz link #loz zelda #zelda and link #princess zelda #zelda x link #loz breath of the wild #pre calamity #zelink analysis

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youdrewstarsxaroundmyscars · 1 year

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PRONGSFOOT SMUT DRABBLE

tags ig: making out, mlm, smut, frottage, coming in pants, hickies, biting, thigh riding, um pet names but the good ones (love/sweetheart), james/sirius, marking, possessiveness (it feels both very obvious and very subtle), slight dom/sub but only a little bit i feel, very self indulgent on the foreplay, choking, dialogue heavy i suppose

This was literally purely self indulgent (i'm a whore for this type of shit don't judge me)/a dare from my other half so...enjoy?

also my first time writing anything like this so don't tell me if it sucks i'll cry (lie if you have to)

•••••••••••••••••

It was all just a bit of fun really.

Or, well, that's how it started anyway.

"You ever kiss a bloke James?" Sirius had asked, second beer bottle in hand as he sat back on the sofa, legs spread wide–the picture of nonchalance.

"No I suppose I haven't. Just girls," James had replied, sitting crosslegged on the sofa with his back resting against the opposite arm, also on his second beer.

Sirius wished he knew how to think before speaking. Maybe the combined forces of his years long crush on James and the alcohol induced confidence is the reason he didn't keep his mouth shut.

"Would you like to?"

There was silence.

"Yes."

---

It started off innocent enough, Sirius had moved closer to the center of the couch, James doing the same.

"So, what do I do? Do I jus–" James questioned, looking at him with poorly concealed excitement and slight nervousness. Sirius shushes him, smiling reassuringly before leaning in until their lips were a few inches apart.

"Just close your eyes," He whispers, his breath softly fanning James' face. Only once his eyes have fully slipped closed does Sirius carefully close the gap between them, softly pressing their lips together.

It was only a quick press of lips, but Sirius' breath still caught in his throat at the feel of his best mate's lips on his. They pull away, Sirius slowly opening his eyes to meet the slightly blissed out expression on James' face. Seemingly remembering himself, James' eyes flutter open, mouth parted slightly in awe.

"Can I uh-" James licks his lips, dragging Sirius' gaze down to the movement, "Can I do that again?" he breathes, eyes almost slipping closed at the thought.

"Yes please," Sirius replies, breathy. James surges forward to connect their lips again, Sirius catching himself on his hands as the force pushes him back a bit.

James kisses him with vigor, and he finds himself melting into it. A soft moan escapes his throat, encouraging James, who pulls Sirius in by the waist until he was kneeling on the couch, towering above James.

Now with free hands, Sirius brings them up to cup either side of James' face, his glasses pressing into his cheek from the angle. James' arms wrap tighter around his waist as he tilts his head to the left a bit and–

Fuck.

Sirius moans at the change in angle, and James lightly drags his tongue across his bottom lip. Sirius opens up easily and the taste of James floods his every sense.

Their tongues meet and James has to stop himself from letting out a whimper at the sensation. Fuck he wants to devour this man. He brings his hands up to cup Sirius' face before dragging his fingertips lightly down the sides of his throat. Sirius grabs his waist, pulling on the bottom of his shirt, cold hands finding purchase on his warm skin. James shivers at the contrast.

"Can I try something else?" James asks, mouth ghosting over his best mates. Sirius nods once and James lets out a quiet "tsk" in disapproval.

"Words love," Sirius' rolls his eyes as he lets out a soft "yes" in response. James smiles then tilts his head, leaving feather light kisses across his jawline. He grips Sirius' chin in his right hand as he makes his way down the right side of his neck.

Sirius' breath hitches as James reaches a particularly sensitive spot, his eyes falling closed. James grins to himself and closes his mouth around the spot, sucking harshly. He quickly pulls off.

"Fuck-wait-I don't wanna leave a mark you have work tomorrow," James looks at him, concerned.

"I couldn't give less of a shit. Leave as many as you want," a light kiss on James' lips, "please," Sirius moans. James stares, an unreadable expression on his face. Sirius looks at him, brows furrowed.

"What's wr–"

"You're into that aren't you?" James asks, his hand slipping from Sirius' chin to find purchase in his hair. James almost melts at the softness of his long, dark curls. Sirius raises an eyebrow.

"Into what?" James tightens his hand in his hair, pulling just slightly, not missing the way Sirius' breath catches as he tries to maintain eye contact.

"Don't be a brat, you know what I mean." James leans in closer, breath ghosting along Sirius' face, "Being all marked up for everyone to see, showing the world you belong to someone else? You like being owned by someone?" James whispers, giving another light tug to Sirius' hair, who's eyes finally roll back as he whimpers.

"Fuck–I, yes. Yes," Sirius stutters out. James groans, tilting his head back down to the pale boys throat, biting harshly at the junction between his neck and shoulder.

Sirius moans, hands tightening on James' waist, nails digging in to the soft flesh of his sides. James hopes they leave marks.

"Fuck James," James scrapes his teeth across the sensitive area, biting and sucking anywhere his mouth could reach. He felt his blood rush south as his cock twitched in his pants at the sounds Sirius would make every time he bit down. Who knew it felt this good to just give?

Sirius tugs on his hair, making him moan as his grip tightens around Sirius, not wanted to stop.

"James, let me-please" he gasps, tugging on James' hair again. James groans in disappointment as he pulls his mouth away from Sirius' throat.

"James?" James can't pull his eyes away from the absolute mess that is Sirius' throat. Adding the utter debauched look in his best mates' eyes to the rapidly blossoming hickies on his neck, ranging from a light pink to a deep purple (even some with prominent bite marks), he could fucking come right then and there just from looking at him.

"God look at you," James groans, dragging is fingertips over Sirius' throat, pupils blown wide, "i've wanted to decorate this pretty throat of yours for months," Sirius whimpers at his confession, his hand tightening in his hair as he bites his bottom lip to muffle his sounds. James presses his thumb on the edge of his lip, pulling down until Sirius lets go. He surges forward, catching James in another bruising kiss.

James brings his arms tight around Sirius' waist and pulls, dragging Sirius into his lap. Sirius goes willingly, planting his knees on either side of James' thighs. James pulls him closer, gripping tightly by the hips, and the two boys moan loudly as their clothed cocks brush together. Sirius brings his hands up to either side of James' face and pulls away, smirking.

"My turn."

James doesn't get a chance to properly react before Sirius tilts his head and descends upon his throat, returning the favor. Sirius is slow, taking his time making sure every part of James' neck is kissed and bit and sucked. James tilts his head back, letting it rest on the back of the sofa as Sirius continues his assault on the front of his throat. When he reaches a particular spot right above his collarbone James lets out a high pitched whimper, bucking his hips, grip tightening on Sirius who moans in response, sucking harder.

James lets go of Sirius' hips, hopefully covered in finger-shaped bruises, and he rucks up Sirius' shirt just enough for him to get his hands on his bare back. He splays his fingers out as far as they can go, wanting to cover as much of his canvas as possible as he slides his hands up.

He drags his nails down the expanse of Sirius' back as hard as he can. Sirius unlatches from James' neck, throwing his head back as he keens loudly, gripping the back of the sofa hard enough his knuckles turn white, and grinds down hard into James' lap.

"Fuck," James groans, eyes fluttering shut.

He leaves one hand splayed on Sirius' lower back while the other snakes into his hair once more, pulling him down into another kiss of tongue and teeth.

"Oh fuck James," Sirius breathes, hips grinding down to meet James' but hands back on his hips stop him from getting far. Sirius whines in disappointment and James bites his neck in a slight reprimand before moving his lips down to the joint between Sirius' neck and shoulder, sucking harshly. James drags his teeth up the side of his neck, grazing his earlobe just so.

"Say my name again," James whispers, breath tickling Sirius' ear.

"Beg," Sirius grunts in response, grinding down. James stops any and all movement, chuckling harshly.

"You're in no position to make demands sweetheart," He mocks, holding Sirius' hips off his lap.

Sirius groans desperately, rocking his hips but James is holding him an inch or so above his lap. Sirius' eyes roll back at knowing James is strong enough to hold him up without effort. His mind wanders to what other manhandling he could do. Sirius is broken out of his thoughts by another harsh bite on his shoulder.

"James," he moans loudly. James drops him back into his lap, guiding Sirius' hips to grind ever so slowly against his own, "James,"

"Good job sweetheart," James moans bringing their lips together. Sirius licks at his bottom lip and James opens up eagerly.

"James," Sirius chokes as James thrusts up particularly hard.

"Tell me," James whispers, dragging his lips across the shell of Sirius' ear, "tell me what you want,"

"I want," Sirius breathes, eyes fluttering as James trails his lips down the expanse of his neck, leaving a feather light kiss on a rather large hickey on the middle of his throat, "oh god,"

"Mm try again love," James teases, pulling him closer so they're chest to chest. He could feel Sirius' heart beating erratically. No doubt his own would feel the same.

Sirius untangled his hands from James' hair bringing them up to rest on James' cheeks. He leaned down resting his forehead on James', their breaths intertwining between them.

He grinds down into James' lap uttering a quiet "please" but James quickly moves his hands to Sirius' hips, stopping him.

"What did I say?"

"I wanna ride you," Sirius pleads, desperately attempting to rock his hips again, but James' grip held strong. Fuck, they're definitely exploring that later, Sirius thinks.

"My cock or my thigh love," James questions, tilting his head up to capture Sirius' lips in a short kiss. Sirius groans.

"Oh god. Thigh," Sirius gasps, stealing another kiss, "please, I don't think I could make it to your cock,"

"Good boy," Sirius shudders at the praise. James groans, shifting Sirius so he was straddling one thigh, his knee resting against James cock. His eyes nearly roll back as he moans at the pressure.

"You like that sweetheart? Like being called my good boy?" Sirius moans loudly, burying his face into James' neck, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders as he moves his hips.

"Fuck that's it love," James groans, dragging out his words between breaths as Sirius' knee ruts against his cock, "Wanna see you get off on my thigh."

Sirius throws his head back, eyes fluttering shut at the sensations filling his body. James hands grip his thighs, throwing his own head back as he gets closer and closer to the edge.

"Oh god-fuck-please!" Sirius cries out, grinding faster and faster. James brings one if his hands up to hold Sirius' throat, not squeezing, just resting there. Sirius stutters in his movement, whining as he moves his hand onto James' resting on his throat.

"Please," Sirius moans, squeezing James' hang on his throat. James groans at the sight.

"Say my name," James grunts. Sirius' squeezes tighter on the hand holding his throat but James remains still.

"James please," he begs, "James, James, Ja-" He stutters out a moan as his mouth drops open, James hand tightening on his throat. The pressure on his already thoroughly bruised neck makes him whimper. He grinds down with renewed fervor, thighs shaking as he gets closer to coming undone.

"C'mon love, be a good boy and come for me," James says, thrusting upwards into the delicious friction Sirius' knee provides.

Two thrusts later and Sirius comes with a long moan, eyes rolling back as his vision whites out. James lets go of his throat and holds onto his hips, working him through the aftershocks.

"Fuck sweetheart what a sight you are," James groans, pressing a quick kiss to Sirius' forehead, "that's gotta be one of the hottest things I've ever witnessed," he rubs a comforting hand up and down Sirius' thigh. Sirius laughs lightly before noticing the still hard cock straining against his knee.

"You're still hard," He notes.

He reached down, pressing his palm against James' dick, but keeps it still. James hisses through his teeth.

"Fuck, Sirius I'm so fucking close," James stutters out, head thrown back against the sofa. Sirius hums, turning his head to kiss along James' neck as he starts slowly dragging his palm across his cock. Sirius can feel how big he is even without the added fabric and the thought of that inside him makes his cock give a pathetic twitch. He moves his palm faster.

"C'mon baby, now it's your turn to come for me," Sirius whispers in his ear before pulling him down into a harsh kiss. James thrusts into his palm a few more times before he's breaking the kiss with a groan, hips stuttering as he comes. Sirius continues to palm him softly, working him through the aftershocks as James comes down from his high.

"Fuck."

"Agreed."

James laughs, bringing an arm around Sirius' back as he kisses him lightly. Sirius sighs into the kiss, wrapping his arms back around James' neck.

"For an amateur you sure knew what you were doing," Sirius says playfully. James chuckles lightly.

"I said I'd never kissed a bloke, not that I didn't know what I was doing," he retorts.

"Evidently," Sirius smiles. He goes to shift and then grimaces. "Think we need a shower after that I reckon," James smirks up at him, quirking a brow.

"Round two?"

They rush to the bathroom.

#self indulgent #marauders #fanfic #fanfiction #james potter #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #sirius black #prongsfoot #smut #james potter smut #sirius black smut #prongsfoot smut #literally what am i doing with my life

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