this is gonna make no sense bc it just occurred to me but roderick burgess was asking dream (who has a son who died young and he couldn't save but lives on as a suicidal head disowned but distantly taken care of) to bring back HIS son (died young in battle for a senseless war) IN FRONT OF burgess' other son (what would dream give to have another child, another chance? would he fuck that up too) for DECADES. THEN he watched the younger son (the discarded son) grow old and bitter over the wounds left by his father (would orpheus have gone the same way? would he have died anyway? can a son ever escape his father? can he?) and eventually become a tormentor, same as the father he wished never to become (didn't dream do the same?).
idk what to think bc like. what even t he fuck. huh. I? ow (?).
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more on wild vanillas
- saw a post that said “sneezed a lot today 🌸 but smiled even more!” … WILD
- blessed someone at work again
- i was coughing & allergies & asthma were acting up so naturally the coughing was worse because i was lowkey having an asthma attack lol & the sneezy facetime friend asked if i was okay which was so sweet
- the sneezy facetime friend once again sneezed & i blessed her & she thanked me for it
i love blessing people & being thanked for it like yes please acknowledge the fact that i blessed you
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so this girl heather that I'm completely psychotic about wanted to play mtg with me but we're both bottoms so of course we didn't make any kind of concrete plan or exchange contact info and when we finally got together for a walk she told me the only identifiable thing she knew about me was that i work for a funeral home and wouldn't it be so funny if she faked her death to meet me
anyway she wrote a book about poisoning herself to see me at work
do you think she likes me or is this some kind of psychic attack
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Now 20 years up, the landing in sight.
I grasp, but can’t pull any longer.
Millions of people just standing around.
Some see me.
“Please pull me up, I can’t take it anymore.”
“You can see if I’m to fall I’m done.”
“You’ve made it this far, haven’t you?”
“It’d be a waste of effort to not pull yourself up now.”
“You can do it.”
I see their hands completely uncalloused. They did not climb the cliff face.
And so I think of falling.
If not just out of spite, to teach them some tact.
They came this way to see me, and only brought words?
But still I hold on.
Someone is bound to pull me up.
Some see me.
“Please pull me up, I can’t take it anymore.”
“You can see if I’m to fall I’m done.”
“Another wants atop the cliff?”
And they stomp upon my hands.
“Just climb up.”
I see their hands completely uncalloused. They did not climb the cliff face.
And so I think of falling.
If not just out of spite, to teach them some tact.
They came this way to see me, and only brought malice?
But still I hold on.
Someone is bound to pull me up.
Some see me.
“Please pull me up, I can’t take it anymore.”
“You can see if I’m to fall I’m done.”
“They’ll be fine, no need to help.”
And they leave as quickly as they came.
They clearly did not climb the cliff face.
And so I think of falling.
If not just out of spite, to teach them some tact.
They came this way to see me, and only ignored my cries?
But still I hold on.
Someone is bound to pull me up.
Thousands come and go.
The best only offered their word.
None had callouses.
Noone climbed the cliff face.
They were all given a life in some way,
And are content to live by the terms of another.
Those that climbed climbed higher.
Mostly to see a similar situation to I.
And so those trying just to live learn to not seek help.
They are only offered meaning or pain.
Never life.
And months later, the edge of the cliff falls.
But still I hold on.
If not out of spite, to teach the world some tact.
The world came this way to kill me, but I love life too much to give in.
-- At the Edge of the Cliff Face --
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