#what do i like to do? this for example

[daisywords]

One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.

Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.

It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?

Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.

#idk what to tag this #worldbuilding #writing fiction #historical fiction #fantasy #a real-life example: my dad (a pediatrician) was once entrusted with the care of a baby who was born with a rare condition #this was in a place without great hospital/medical access and anyway they were going to fly the baby over #and he specifically asked them to bring the mother and baby #they show up with baby and...the baby's uncle #and he was like. y'all. do you think I asked for the mom to come just for fun??? We don't have formula here. what is the baby going to eat?

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ladybeug]

I drew the same comic twice because I didn't think the first one was funny enough. I don't know if the second comic is funnier though??

Here's both of them

Side by side because i couldn't decide which one to put first - knowing the punchline changes the experience?? pick your adventure. read either one first.

which ones funnier i honestly can't tell

#this is what its like in my head when im writing comics #its cool to have an example #of how different the same joke can be #i mean i dont know if you think its cool but i think its cool #i think i have a favorite out of the two of them but its close #to be honest neither of them quite thread the needle for me #theyre not QUITE as funny as i want #but theyre still good #anyways #my art #miraculous ladybug #I did these a while ago. long tags sorry but how else am i supposed to tell you how im doing lately #found a bunch of comics that made me laugh #excited to post some of them #ill organize them soon and do a couple comic dumps

[robotpussy]

#polls #personally i dont like it but thats only because i dont like fandom. the type of stuff that gets the most attention #in fandom usually just annoys me idk. how to explain it in a way that wont come off as me saying #fanfic or whatever is evil its just the fact that it just bombards alot of the conversations? #i prefer it when the thing i like has 10 fans and theyre all on one message board or forum #like for example mtvs downtown is getting popular but apart from annoying #'me and the mid nerd guy i copped by being weird and sexy' posts its not awful.... #but then smth like... clone high or smth i suddenly cant remember ppl just got so annoying abt that show?? #like i cant stand it i dont even bother watching it anymore plus its just weird to me now like i can't watch it regardless #im just rambling but personally i do not like it. like i dont want what i like to get a revival #i dont want anything new! i just want to enjoy the thing and move on 😭 #fandom seems to prioritize shipping and memes over evaluating or simply just enjoying something! #this goes for anything. music film tv books....

[firestorm09890]

Penny stardewvalley makes me so sad because she's SO sensitive to, like, basically everything you tell her (telling her that you can't stand children while two children are nearby is a pretty lousy move but -1500 friendship?? being a jerk to other characters' faces typically loses you about 50 points, and if you choose the option labeled "creepy" and ask Leah for a kiss in her 2 heart event she physically hits you and kicks you out of her house but that's only -100 friendship…) and so if you want to befriend her it's a whole lot of lying and tiptoeing around her feelings (2 hearts: George was right but saying that makes her feel bad. 6 hearts: her food sucks but even if you try to be polite about it she feels like a failure; only a bald-faced lie pleases her. 8 hearts: saying you don't want to be tied down with a family loses you a little bit of friendship and she's only happy if you say you want kids) and I can't help but think she's a product of her environment. She lives in a trailer with only her mother, who gets drunk every night and has something of a temper. Penny's like a skittish rescue animal who won’t even come out from hiding under something unless you leave her lots of treats

#stardew valley #penny sdv #I didn't mention the SECOND opportunity to lose 1500 friendship with her #because I think if you go out of your way to date her and then tell her that you don't like her that way then you deserve it #but yeah she's super volatile #i was upset for a little bit after reading that one post saying the ‘right’ answer in the 2 heart event is ableist #like nooooo not my favorite farming game :( #except that in the context of several other things in the game it becomes clear that winning someone over #does not always mean doing the right thing #looking directly at how the easiest way to befriend shane and pam is by enabling their alcoholism #which is framed as a harmful thing even if the characters themselves like it #you have to lie to befriend other characters too like with sam dropping his egg #and you can lose a little friendship based on preferences like sebastian asking about what books you like #though to be fair if i saw someone who could potentially be cool and i found out that what they like was stuff im not into id also #lose interest a little #anyway those are all examples spread around on different characters #penny's got it all at once #me post

[rattusn0rvegicus]

Man I feel like a lot of leftist activists would do a lot better to just use common fucking language to talk about things rather than dense academic shit that's only understandable to people with PhDs and people who spend 95% of their waking life on Leftist Twitter lmao

Like, you're talking with other academics? Great, use academic language. You're a social media account trying to interact with the general public? Don't say "decarcerate", say "find alternatives to imprisonment". Don't say "collective liberation", say "freedom for all". By GOD don't say "bodymind autonomy", say "the ability to have control over our own minds and bodies".

Yes it takes a little more effort to explain shit in common language but I promise you people will stop looking at you like you have two heads and dismissing everything you say as Woke Bullshit if you like, actually get on their level, goddamn it. Not everyone has the privilege to have a graduate-school level understanding of this type of language or spend so much time reading leftist theory that they can perfectly understand this stuff.

#being a public health student has made me even more passionate about this too #like. You want to make a change? You have to make sure the general public UNDERSTANDS WTF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT FIRST #Like for example I think Project LETS is a great concept and is doing great stuff #But my god their public outreach needs some MAJOR work #By using this type of language you are isolating the type of ppl who can benefit from your services to 'college educated Twitter leftists' #Social justice is a MAJOR INTEREST OF MINE and even I struggle with making sense of some of the shit y'all say!! #Like I have to translate it in my head to normal speak #And like. These types of spaces constantly talk about accessibility for disabled people? Bullshit man #What about those with intellectual disabilities or cognitive impairments who struggle with this shit? #What about people who are just learning English? What about people who work full time and don't have the time to learn this terminology? #Goddamn #It's all performative!!!!

[doodle-hell]

joker can canonically draw... so i just imagine him drawing cute little illustrations all the time to accompany their journal entries...

(1/23) heres some more!

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #ryuji sakamoto #goro akechi #p5 morgana #p5r #making these little doodles as if im doing it in character has weirdly helped my frustration with drawing lately #so i might do more #i also need more examples of what jokers art is like #i know ive seen some examples before. a lil drawing of the monabus #and the pt logo on the chalkboard at shujin

[monacodarling]

Cant stop thinking about how paradoxical Charles and Max are I mean the narrative is there right but

Max growing up in a harsh condition—almost to the breaking point. Wanting nothing but to be the best. Conditioned to be alone. Used to being lonely.

Charles growing up in a loving family. Support from the family, having friends, growing up with different people hes still friends with today.

Max growing up under public scrutiny. Nothing like a famous father whose expectations you have to live up to. You can say he was born to race. That was his sole purpose.

Charles growing up wanting to be the best. The adoration and belief and faith from his family.

Max finally drawing boundaries with his own father. Christian and other people stepping in. Years of understanding. Finally in F1 in Red Bull.

Charles and his grief. One loss after the other. Finally in Ferrari, although a bit too late.

Max and his teammates—Carlos, and Daniel, and Pierre, and Alex, and Sergio. Some people he really start to let in, and be genuine friends. People like Lando start to come in. His demeanor slowly changes as people get to know him who he is and his love for animals.

Charles and his teammates—Seb and Carlos. Seb as someone who’s gotten to know what it’s like living with grief. Grief being a part of you. How much promises and faith weigh you down. Charles is very accessible. Kind and open to people. But he holds most at a distance. Like this is only where you get to only know me. This as far as you can go.

Max, doesn’t care what the public thinks, used to him being painted the villain, as someone who is angry and mad and raw all the time. But proves you can be as hungry and greedy as you can be, and only have a few people at your back. He’s fine with it. He’s used to be alone, he’s genuinely grateful of the people who’s been with him through thick and thin over the years. At the end of the day, he does things for himself. Because if being the best is his purpose in life, to make people happy, then that’s what he’s going to be. And if he’s tired of being the best, he can go because he knows there are people no matter who he is, they’ll be there.

Charles slowly suffering with the burden of the tifosi’s faith, his promise to Jules, his dad, to Anthoine. Charles wanting to be hungry and greedy but can’t stand of losing someone, of people abandoning him. Like I feel the more reckless and desperate he gets, it’s because he’s pushed by his own want. Sometimes what he needs to do and who he needs to be versus who he really is messes up his own vision of what he wants. He needs to be the best because it is a debt to be paid. And as long as it goes unpaid, he ignores the blood, he ignores the pain, he ignores the gnawing loss and sadness because he deserves it. He’s not winning, and he keeps on losing, and he is afraid if he’s unable to win, people will leave him. It’s either he leaves first, or he makes people leave, or in the end, he’s sure that people will leave him. He doesn’t know how to be alone.

Max with the faith in himself.

Charles’s faith of others towards him. Never from himself.

And I think that’s beautiful.

#the potential angst #of lestappen #I’m in love #I’m salivating #f1 #charles leclerc #lestappen #max verstappen #I feel if Charles has someone to push him #and challenge him #in good faith #like max or Alex for example right #he’d do so beautifully #but what he gets is muddled politics #and favoritism #and the tragedy of a legacy #cl16 #mv33 #mv1

[uncanny-tranny]

Another bonus to learning a fiber art is being able to speak to others in a Lovecraftian language that nobody else understands...

...and also being able to read things like THIS:

#art #crochet #fiber art #described images #image description in alt #used a crochet pattern for this because it's just INSANE #see i can recognize some of these stitch markings but i haven't done them all yet #i actually kind of prefer the diagram pattern because it actually shows you the shape and the way stitches compliment the piece #with a 'normal' pattern (e.g. 1 dc in fifth ch from hook ch 2 4 dc) i understand it sure but. it isn't the same. #i was reading somebodys recommendations for tapestry yarn and understood all the abbreviations and what they mean #plus i feel like diagrams can be a great way to teach you not only how stitches look but how they contribute to the larger piece #one of my crochet proficiency goals is to be able to look at a piece and know instantly what made it #*cue me at the store analyzing a crochet piece so i can replicate it for 5× the cost* #if you're selling a crocheted piece for like $20 then it's my imperative to replicate it and not buy it 🫡 #i think that has the same moral implication as like... 'proplifting' #did crochet as the example because thats what i do as a fiber art. if theres a similar thing for knit/weave/ect then DROP IT BELOW I BEG YO #i want to learn all the lovecraftian languages of the fiber artists <3 #i feel like describing the image in exactly what stitch marking indicates what would have been too much so hopefully the explanation as to.. #...what the diagram DOES and how it visually indicates a pattern was helpful <3

[beescake]

Sorry for the spam (^o^;) I just really like your blog

no need to apologize ayy!

in this corner we welcome all forms of enjoyment, regardless of whether you're a

happy to have yall here w me,

headin into homestuck 2024 :^)

#was debating if sollux truly was lurker type but then i rmbr'd him quietly reading all of karkat's memos for a good laugh HAHAHAHAAH #ask #aleemie #homestuck #karkat vantas #sollux captor #solkat #2024 #vioart #but o. regarding the etiquette learned frm other socmed #spamming here is safe+good! it does not harm the op by shadowbanning like instagram #and its not 💀 like twitter where ur likes/following are permanently set to public #ur tumblr experience is within ur control it can be as free/empty/curated as u want!! #((tho ofc i do encourage rbing for ppl who've been hoping to start that habit!! #s'cool to slowly work ur way up from the extra special posts that hv lingered longest in ur heart and quietly build ur cache trove :-) #for example back when i was struggling to rt on a new twt acc i just started setting nonsense criteria for myself LOL #like “breaking this void is scary holy fuck ok i shall start by rting posts w brownish/reddish clrs bcs its inspo vibes for my art” #and gradually after a while of deliberate sharing i gained more confidence to share a larger variety of posts that make me feel things!!!! #no more training wheels i may be scared but i love loving more!!!! #same goes for engaging w fics too it takes energy to think of how to comment and thats ok‚ do ur best to explore what works for u!!!! #take screenshots of ur fave paragraphs & start annotating in gallery/notes app if that helps!!!! #also tumblr's customizable queue means u can stack posts and bolt hgehehe. my preferred form of existing on the net))

[just-your-average-tangerine]

In my experience a lot of the shit trans men get from within the queer community comes down to ignoring half of our identity in favor of the other half

Either were men and therefore are basically the same as cis men

Or were trans so they'll use gender neutral/ inclusive language while still reducing us to our sex assigned at birth

#transgender #trans #trans man #transandrophobia #trans men #hopefully this makes sense on its own #but heres some examples also #on the ignoring trans part there's the whole trans men have unconditional male privilege thing #and on the other side theres the whole trans men are safe because they're not *really* men #or like #i have a friend who would never call me a woman but will claim every problem i have is related to my uterus #like i was having liver problems and she was like 'yeah our uterus' always trying to kill us right' #like darling i have no idea what that has to do with my liver but you do you #op

[rusty-gloinks]

dandelions - hope, healing, and resilience .

lilies - purity, innocence, and rebirth .

Day 4: Angel x Demon

#Murder drones #N murder drones #Murder drones N #N md #md N #serial designation N #V murder drones #murder drones V #v md #md v #serial designation v #my art #art examples #these are like fake wallpapers? Kinda? They work I think for iPad (since that’s what I used) #For phone you may have to crop it :] #(Might use the V one on my phone IM SOOOO proud of these !!!!!!!) #Cringetober #U do not have to ask for permission to use!!! Free to use for whatever as long as you’re not using for promotion/merchandise!!

[lesbianfakir]

Something that is an example of good character writing in Princess Tutu is how Fakir and Duck have little incompatibilities in their personalities (you know. Beyond the obvious). It makes it a little harder for them to get along and understand one another but you get the sense that they’re both putting the effort in. It’s sweet and it makes the relationship feel all the more real.

Fakir is serious, blunt, and he doesn’t sugarcoat things. His words often come across as harsh, even when there’s real care behind them. As a result, Duck—who reads his tone but not always the intentions behind it—doesn’t always pick up on when he’s doing something nice for her. For example, when Duck starts to tell Mytho she’s Princess Tutu, Fakir startles her to interrupt her, causing her to turn back into a duck. She takes offense and only later realizes he did it so she wouldn’t reveal her identity to mytho before she was ready (and even then I don’t think she picks up on the full extent of it). There’s another scene where he tells her point blank if she doesn’t want to fight the raven she needs to stop being princess tutu. It comes across as quite harsh and seems to visibly sadden Duck, though he cares about her deeply and is only trying to keep her safe.

The other “incompatibility” that comes to mind is how Fakir is sensitive and easily offended while Duck tends to blurt out whatever’s on her mind. While there are many scenes where he does get upset (take the scene in the Wandering Knight where he takes her request to stop getting in fights as an attack on his character), there are just as many where he doesn’t take the bait. Watch the show a few times and you’ll notice Fakir has a habit of going silent when Duck says something insensitive. He waits for her to finish speaking and he either ignores her or moves on. In those moments, you can feel the conscious effort he’s making to not lash out. Duck’s earnest naïveté is part of why draws him to her but at the same time it causes friction between then when she’s overly hopeful about something delicate to him, like his writing.

Anyways tldr; Fakir tends to hide what he’s feeling and thinking behind a deadpan demeanor, which sometimes obscures his true intentions from Duck. Meanwhile Duck tends to trample over the things Fakir is sensitive about in conversation, and he often has to stop himself from getting upset. In these moments you see how these characters may not completely understand each other but they care about each other a lot and actively work to smooth out their differences. Also it’s very cute when Duck realizes after the fact Fakir did something nice for her and her face lights up.

These little quirks make room for natural misunderstandings between the characters. Honestly, I like how Princess Tutu doesn’t smooth out compatibility issues or completely rewrite Fakir’s character when he and Duck become friends. The same flaws and tendencies are present, we just see the characters taking more active, conscious steps towards getting along.

#if you need receipts I have them I just didn’t feel like getting screencaps #ask me about specific examples #princess tutu #fakiru #my children #I looooove psychoanalzying characters #if anyone cares I would be so so down to just sit down and do a full character analysis of my thoughts on all the tutu characters #and what makes them tick #but again! anything I say might be super obvious I can’t tell

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him #I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them #like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full #his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭 #if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does #me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill #Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is) #he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations #something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that #Mikey tells people what they need to hear #Leo tells people what they want to hear #not only out of his own agenda either #when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother #even if he would have rather bullhop left #meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is #small character moment that means a lot to me #Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings #Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction #but he is easily cowed by guilt #regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade #and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want #I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED) #the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway #there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!! #literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest #no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here

[spittyfishy]

You know besties sometimes I do wish I had an explanation

#I think I got possessed by Fifth Grade Emily #this feels like her doing #but as soon as I got the idea I had to go finish it #like I got up and out of bed and went and got my iPad lol #another example of what happens when I’m allowed to draw after midnight #danganronpa #warriors of hope #monaca towa #nagisa shingetsu #kotoko utsugi #jataro kemuri #masaru daimon #udg #danganronpa udg #dr udg #udg jataro #udg monaca #udg komaru #udg kotoko #udg masaru #dr:ae #danganronpa ultra despair girls #danganronpa another episode #danganronpa ultra despair girls another episode #you can tell idk what tags this game has lol #mlp fim #my little pony #mlp #my little pony friendship is magic

[genshin-impact-updates]

Genshin Impact × Discovery Collaboration Benefit Short Documentary "Voices of Nature"

Traveler, the Discovery Collaboration Benefit Short Documentary "Voices of Nature" is online!

Nature's been talking to us all along. Have you been hearing it?

#genshin impact #genshin impact updates #genshin impact news #official #whoops forgot to post this one #great example of sustainability communication but i have to wonder what hoyo themselves is doing #like what's the footprint of the hoyo hq #because donating is nice but if they're not actually operating sustainably then this is greenwashing #Youtube