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#what he craves
avidcollectorofdust · 9 months
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Had a dream where I was exploring a cave in totk and found Demise’s sword
Edit: stay tuned I’m turning this into a mini comic series. It’s posted on @avid-makes-a-comic
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htub · 9 months
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I really like that they made Jor-El speak Kryptonian and Clark unable to understand him. The whole "aliens speak English" thing that happens in every goddamn media has bothered me all my life. Ik sometimes Clark just gets zapped in the brain for insta-second language but that always felt like a cheap shortcut.
Jor-El had a lot on his mind when he set up that magic spaceship okay. The world was ending and he was trying to do as much as he could before time ran out so he could be there for his son. He was rushing. He likely didn't consider Kal would be raised with a whole different language and not know any Kryptonian nor have anyone to teach him.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months
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MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 2 - Psyche Skills
Part 1 - Part 3
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#disco elysium#MDZS disco elysium au#jiang cheng#jiang yanli#yu ziyuan#While it's more in vogue to draw a character's skill roster tailored to them -#One of the more subtle details I love in DE is how some of the skill portraits parallel character portraits of people hbd associates with.#Theres somethine rather poetic to be said about how other people shape out thoughts and sometimes act as a 'voice' in our head.#How we are in part a collection of impressions other people left behind on us.#I am a huge Skillhead (Those are my friends! My party members! They love me! They have their own agendas and alliances!)#so of course a healthy portion of this AU is dedicated to them <3#the Int skills go basically unchanged from DE. Psy as well (with changes to a few quirks in voice).#Fys skills though...well...wwx is in a different body! Those voices belong to Someone Else.#Esp electrochem (MXY in this AU also partied to near death. WWX is withdrawing and craving substances he's never even heard of before)#While I personally don't fully subscribe to Volition Jean I *do* see Volition Jiang Cheng. The voice of your Not Brother keeping you afloat#All three of these parallels make me unbelievably sad. They are also both purple. Art is like that sometimes.#Empathy Jiang Yanli...oh man do I have a lot of thoughts about her. Disco fans Who Know....you can probably see what I'm cooking.#Authority is a really interesting skill in DE because *yes* its about power and intimidation - but it's also about finesse and respect#Titus Hardie and YZY both abuse *and* finesse how they establish their authority - in a way that leaves quite an impression.#2 more mdzs disco posts that I *need* to create and then I'm off to working on raffles <3
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jayisfuckingtired · 8 months
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Have some Revali because I miss him
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strigital · 2 months
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just... him... 🥺
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inkskinned · 2 years
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it's the levels of scrutiny too.
a movie that has a largely-female cast has to be well-written, well-shot, well-acted, well-advertised. people will spend 2 hours on youtube talking about a single plot hole; about a moment of bad pacing, about a singular background character's poor scripting. if there isn't something obvious, they will say - well there's nothing specifically bad, but it wasn't specifically good either.
they will turn out another all-male movie, and it's just a movie.
a book that has queer representation in it has to defy every convention of writing while also being true to traditional plot, structure, format, and pacing. it must have no boring chapters, no missteps, no awkward dialogue. it must be able to "prove" that any queer relationship "makes sense", their sparks must fly off the page and their love must be eternal. the writing must be clear and beautiful, the storyline original and fresh, the values traditional but with an undercurrent that is modern and saucy.
they will turn out another book without queer rep, where a man and woman just-fall-in-love, and it's just a book.
i am latinx. i am queer. i am nb & neurodivergent. my father said to me once: you will need to be exceptional to be just-as-good, and you will need to be beyond exceptional before they see you as just-a-person, and not your labels.
i am not beyond exceptional. i am a human person. i am skilled because i worked my ass off to be skilled.
i am currently reading a book that's so-bad-it's-good about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. i was 64% of the way through the book before she figures out tall-dark-fanged is not natural. i like books like these, i like letting myself relax while i just enjoy the read. but i do spend a lot of time wondering - would this have been published if it was about queer people? would this have gotten past the editors if the characters weren't white and sexy?
i want to write a movie about being a woman in a male space, and i want to start that movie with a 10 minute scene where the woman is lectured with the exact same whining that occurs in the youtube comments of even the trailers for those movies: "haven't we had enough diversity?" "we've had enough girl power movies" "sorry, this is just pandering. it's boring."
here's what's fucked up: it shouldn't matter, you're right. my identity shouldn't fold after my name like a battalion of stars: a cry of what i've gone through. what we all know i had to move past and through. i should just be a writer, plain and simple, without my work being shifted through with tweezers - i know everything i make, always, i am incredibly responsible for. beholden to. i don't like knowing that if i fuck up, i am also fucking up for every person like me. every person in a community i belong to.
once, back in undergrad, i wrote a short story about a girl who had been kicked by a horse. it was my first time writing about my experience with my ocd; i felt proud of it. the story was mostly about grief and slow recovery. the queerness of the main character was not important to the plot, my main character was just-queer. there wasn't even a romantic interest in it.
i remember one of my classmates being disappointed. "i just feel like you always write about girls who like girls, and i'm bored of it," he said. "you're a beautiful writer, but i'm like - oh, at some point, it's gonna be gay again." during the workshop, he folded his hands over my story and said, "and okay, i'm just going to say it. she's ocd, she's gay, she's depressed - it's a little much for me to believe is all happening to one person."
it is a little much to be that person (and more besides). i have therapy weekly, after all.
over and over, belonging to exception.
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atorionsbelt · 11 months
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“jamie can’t take his eyes off the love of his life.”
…yeah. they will pay for this (please keep going)
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strawglicks · 10 days
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welcome to the Coal & Ice District!
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sunshinemarauder · 1 year
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i don't think i can name a single artist whose discography has 0 skips for me
... except for hozier
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crystalflygeo · 1 year
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Safeword. ft Zhongli + fem!reader
cw/tags: a bit of anxiety/panic attack, bit of dirty talk but it's all praise, bit of nipple play and fingering, safeword use, bondage (tied arms, blindfold) hurt/comfort, aftercare, just reader in general dealing with negative feelings but being comforted PLEASE BE WARNED IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. READ THE TAGS.
notes: I literally just woke up and wrote this in a rush in my phone lmao what. Listen my mood jumps between depressed and horny and I've always loved safeword use and aftercare done right, it is very important and intimate. Also who doesn't want Zhongli softly soothing and kissing them? I almost made this gender neutral reader but I ended up being self indulgent so sorry.
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Everything felt hot, too hot, but not in a good way. It was... sticky, ah, uncomfortable.
You squirm a little, shifting on your legs until you feel Zhongli's hands slowly caress your skin, making you shiver. His breath fans your neck "Good girl.” He mumbles at your shoulder, and kisses there.
Yes, this was fine. This is what you wanted, to just let go and release that pent up energy.
Right?
"Hmm... you've been so stressed lately, darling, haven't you?" His strong hands start massaging and kneading at your shoulders and you groan, it feels pretty good.
Until one of his palms lowers to your chest and starts playing with one of your nipples and you hiss. It hardens under his attention, sure, but feels... odd, it kind of hurts.
You shift again awkwardly, and the rope holding your wrists together digs into your skin.
You don't know what's wrong but something is. You don't feel the same lightheadedness as usual, in fact you're hyperaware, parted lips panting but the pressure is not on your lower belly, it’s at your chest instead. It feels cold, empty, oppressive.
Your hands clench into fists and you whimper.
Zhongli kisses around your chest down to your navel and that feels good too, tender, loving. His voice soothes you, even though you feel oddly disconnected.
"You look so beautiful my dear, laid out like this."
Did you really? The anxiety starts gnawing at you, body tense. Your mind is far away, going over some dumb mistake you made some days ago, some stupid thing you said last week...
You've been so frustrated lately, feeling sad, and angry, and disappointed and-
Zhongli's thumb circles over your clit and you gasp and keen, hips jerking on reflex.
Oh. That felt good, but-
But then why did you feel so wrong?
"Z-Zhongli." You hiccup. Voice wobbly, you feel your eyes start to water. What is wrong with you? You're suffocating. Choked up. Sweaty and awkward and-
His fingers dip inside you and you clench on them, crying out.
"Fuck... Y/N you're so tight." He rasps.
It's too much, you can't, you can't-
"Hng r-red. Red!"
In an instant you feel the mattress dip and shift with his weight as Zhongli quickly takes off your blindfold, and just like that the damn breaks. You start crying and hyperventilating as he curses and immediately frees your hands.
"Y/N, my love, are you alright? I'm so sorry." He starts, and though his voice is leveled as ever you can feel the slight stutter of panic. "It's alright, everything is okay, I'm sorry."
You shake your head, crying into your hands, you want to tell him it's not him. It's never him. But words fail you, you breath stutters.
You know he won't touch you without explicit permission, so you lean into him, your smaller frame trembling as you press closer to his chest. You need this. You need him.
"May I embrace you darling?" You nod frantically and feel his arms curl around you just so slightly, as to not make you feel trapped. One of his hands sweeps your hair over your shoulder and starts rubbing circles on your back, soft. "Is this alright?" He asks.
You nod and try to find your voice again "S-sorry. Sorry... don't k-know... wh-what's wrong."
Zhongli shushes you gently. "Please my love breathe, focus on calming down, slowly. It's ok. Just breathe. I'm so glad you used your safeword. You did well."
You placed a hand at your chest feeling your fast paced heartbeat and trying to calm down a little, regulating your breathing, leaning onto his comfortable touch and words.
You made Zhongli worry, you panicked out of nowhere and still don't know why, you feel dumb, needy, annoying. "S-sorry I'm-" You sob. "Don't know what's wrong...” You repeat unable to find words to express that creeping cold numb feeling that took hold you. “Please d-don't be upset." You add quietly.
You hear him sigh, his hand never stopping tracing soft shapes on your skin. "May I kiss you?" He asked instead and you gave a weak nod. Zhongli planted a soft kiss on your hair, on your forehead. "My dear, I would never be upset. I love you. I'd never wish to make you uncomfortable, I'm sorry I didn't notice in time." Zhongli sighs again, heavy. "But right now, I need you to calm down, you don't have to explain or apologize at all, what matters is that you're safe, and I'm here for you for anything you need."
Your eyes flutter close and minutes pass by while he holds you, whispering sweet nothings, your breathing calming down to a steady rhythm. You place a small fleeting kiss against his shoulder and he replied by nuzzling at the top of your head. After a while, you shift and look up at him, red puffy eyes staring at his beautiful cor lapis ones.
"Better?" He asks, swiping his thumb over your cheek tenderly. You nod. "Would you like to eat something? Or I can prepare a bath for you?"
Oh he's so doting, your heart flutters. "Zhongli I'm- I'm sorry I didn't want to make you worry." You can see he's holding back from objecting again but lets you continue. "It's just... I've been so stressed lately and I thought, if we... played... I could let out all that. I-It did feel good! But then it was just... too much. I don't know." You avert your gaze. “It wasn’t you I promise, I just got overwhelmed and everything felt… wrong.”
Zhongli caresses your cheek with his knuckles softly "As I said, you have nothing to apologize for dear, and I'm glad you spoke up. I'd be happy to offer you whatever support you want and take care of you. You're beautiful, hardworking, strong, kind, and I love you."
You feel your cheeks heat slightly and let out a small smile. You're truly literally blessed to have him. "C-Can I... take you up on that bath offer?"
He chuckles, and it's so refreshing. "Of course." He kisses you again and you nuzzle into his touch this time.
"I love you too, Zhongli. Thank you."
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doodlerh · 8 months
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GOAT/DRAGON SIBLINGS!!
YAAAAA AREN'T THEY COOL thank you guys for taking the trait poll, that was super fun i might do that again sometime!!
jianjian (literally just means "spiky", not really a name) is a goat-horned, dragon-tailed young lady who is super sensitive and impulsive. she's very fiery but ironically can't handle spicy food. she will unflinchingly destroy whoever bothers people she cares about (such as her brother), but killing flies makes her scream and cry and sob. and also bell peppers
haihai (just the word for "harm" twice) is a dragon-horned, goat-tailed young man who can't feel anything. sometimes he actively puts himself in harm's way seeking pain, anger, fear, anything, but he can't feel a thing. he is thus very good at handling spicy food, though he can't taste it </3
haihai is like 4/5 yrs older than jianjian, and jianjian grew up just as he (and their parents) started to realize he isn't sensing stuff like he should. whenever jianjian gets a papercut or stubs her toe she cries, meanwhile haihai breaks his leg falling down da stairs and he's just like ? why isn't my leg working
once he realizes what's going on, he feels determined to feel something ANYTHING, like he doesn't really feel happiness (though he doesn't feel sadness either) or pain or anger or grief which he's smart enough to know are Bad, but also are what what makes you human. he feels inhuman, as a result he gets himself in massive danger to see if he can make things right.
his parents (mom is a shepherd and dad is a scholar) try to stop him when they can and they are so scared for their son n his self-destructive tendencies but yknow like they can't always keep an eye on him so he sometimes slips past and gets himself in trouble :(
meanwhile, jianjian is Overly sensitive, and she can sort of tell something's up with haihai and always wants to help, but haihai is distant and won't talk to her because she wouldn't understand what he's going through. and she wouldn't! she feels everything too hard, and he can't feel a thing </3
bc of this distant relationship and lack of a guide in proper childhood, and also bc she has a dragon's claws and temper, jianjian ends up impulsive and somewhat reckless herself. if she sees anybody doing evil she straight up decks them in the mouth. this includes haihai's bullies (whom haihai brought upon himself purposefully to test himself). haihai, his plans foiled, lashes out at jianjian repeatedly, which only makes her more angry and confused. meanwhile, haihai doesn't even feel frustrated, he just recognizes that he has to start all over again, with no results still.
over the course of their lives, jianjian always tries to look out for haihai when she can (they've left their childhood home of course) but they aren't always together. they live their own lives and have their own adventures and lore, though i haven't given em much thought they just came in a pair here SDHSH in their main art, they're like around 23 and 27?? haihai has thankfully become wiser and has moved to focus more on emotional sensitivity, putting himself through the Psychological horrors instead </3
jianjian doesn't really know how she can help with that so she just tries to hang out with haihai n take his mind off things. he doesn't really laugh or cry, but she can tell he seems to prefer hanging out as opposed to constantly pursuing the horrors. EVENTUALLY sorry im hungry so im just gonna lay it out, EVENTUALLY haihai learns that his constant drive to find his humanity and purpose is a feeling!! he wants to LIVE!!
once he has that realization, haihai spends more time with his family and less time holed up in his study or the horrors places. jianjian learns a little impulse control from him (not that he has much of it himself tbh) and stops being, that much of a menace, and they get along a lot better and share their experiences/knowledge/feelings and overall live much richer, happier lives the end
FUN FACTS:
jianjian's tongue is forked, while haihai's isn't
jianjian is right-handed, while haihai is left-handed
jianjian works as a mercenary (she can't kill unless she's really riled up so she mostly takes her targets alive), using her horns as a sort of battering ram and everything else about her as intimidation
haihai practices floromancy, hence the flower motifs on his clothes. their dad is a sea dragon, so haihai can do a little bit of hydromancy as well, but he prefers flowers. he isn't sure why
their mom's people are closely related to cunhua's sheepfolk, while their dad's people are distantly related to jing'er's mountain dragon tribe! the CROSSOVER
they're eating chicken soup udon because im gonna make that for lunch today
jianjian is stocky and broad-shouldered like their mom, while haihai is tall and slender like their dad. though both somewhere in the middle; so like if the dad is idk 6'4", haihai is 6'2", jianjian is 5'11", and the mom is 5'9" (not drawn to scale up there)
this doesn't really matter but i see jianjian as aroace and haihai is probably demiromantic n maybe pan, it'd probably take him many years to be comfortable enough with himself to be comfortable with another person but he wouldn't be picky
they go visit their parents many years later and jianjian is significantly less chaotic and haihai is smiling, and their parents are like WAHHHHH OUR KIDS ARE ALL GROWN UP. is it irresponsible of them to just let em go when they are both clearly Somewhat Wrong in the Head? yes. but idc
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kerizaret · 2 months
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Strike week has ended so I'll be back to my normal posting too, but remember to still keep boycotting and spreading information about what's happening in Palestine
I'll also do my best to keep doing it as well
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clotpolesonly · 3 months
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Call Down The Hawk ch 62 || Greywaren ch 42
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SOMEBODY SEDATE MEEE
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fronomeeps · 8 months
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the localization of old man emmet....
ok out of seriousness- for fun i made old man emmet an oc counterpart! his sole purpose is to be the protag of a lil rpg game id like to make. he doesn't have a name yet and have just been calling him the conductor/star conductor, he's the conductor of a space train! ill post about him mostly on my new game blog @fronosgamerchair
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I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.
But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.
Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.
I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.
I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?
Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?
I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.
...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.
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