#what is life what is adulthood

[smallpapers]

growing up is so dreadful

life here is a race but i stay loitering at the starting line

oh id rather be asleep anyway

#illustration #doodle #artists on tumblr #procreate #myart #papers original #becoming an Adult with A Job and Responsibilities sucks. absolutely mind boggling I have a whole ass life ahead #I need to get my professional license and take this adulthood stuff seriously but I don’t want to I’m not ready!! #I never got to enjoy my youth and what little I have left is slipping away so rapidly

[crescentfool]

the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!

#lizzy speaks #persona 3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #guys friendly reminder that this is what adulthood is about dont listen to anyone who calls you cringe #hence why im putting these in the main tags. i mean they're not incorrect for what the photos are about. lmao #anyway this was a very fun birthday!!! i feel very loved and supported by so many people and i got to do very fun things (like this)... #i think... birthday is like thanksgiving to me. in the gratitude respect. #a reminder of all the lovely people that i have gotten a chance to meet and how i've learned from them #it makes me very happy to have been born... i think every day is a great day to celebrate life's grandeur + brilliance + magnificence #it's just a very poignant and strong feeling that i have that i'm happy to have met so many wonderful people #and while there are some people i've only known for brief periods of time or people who i havent really been good at keeping in contact wit #i do cherish it! im so grateful. so happy that there are people who cheer my silly shenanigans on #while there are ways in which aging makes me go “oh hmm” i think overall i'm happy that i get to keep on living and learning #i have so much fondness for humanity and people... like even if i dont get to talk to ppl directly i just get very emotional yknow #like wow.. you exist.. thats so fucking awesome... i hope you have an awesome day... im glad our paths could cross #if you have read up to this point of my tags.. thank you for reading and being part of my life #i will keep on being the silliest guy ive ever known! cheers to more shenyanigans and self-discovery :3

[duusheen]

we made each other happy, Jay

#ts4 gameplay #ts4 challenge #ts4 legacy challenge #ts4 screenshots #it buuuuurrrrrnnnnssssss #you stupid pixel jay pollock what have you DONE to my baby miracle 😩😩😩 #Lindsay was right #jk he's not an ass just... well that's life i guess #mir looks so young and she is! but she doesn't look like a mom of three at all :'( #btw i love/hate this post omg idk why #it took me ALL FKING DAY #and i hate it #but i love it #😕😕 #let's see if these two can survive until adulthood 👀 #pollock legacy #gen4 #miracle holm #brisa pollock #luna pollock

[yarboyandy]

Chosen Ones

#buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #buffy summers #rupert giles #kendra young #Faith Lehan #the council #andy drawz #MANY THOUGHTS MANY FEELINGS ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP! #both of them getting what the other one wanted so much. #buffy having a normal childhood vs giles having a life in adulthood outside of the council. #both having their fates presented a young age unknowing of the consequences of accepting it. #the council seeing them both as tools that arent very useful and would rather them both die...ARG #I would also like to say: art LOOSELY based off the song revelaton by Balance and Composure #we are the same / the dark is all we know / I hope you see it / don’t let it go #ok ill shut up now

[lesbian-space-fish]

or the one.

#may i offer you some tragic spirk flavored mashwood in these trying times? #so heres how it goes #vash is using up all his plant energy to save some lives #they have a nice little funeral for him #in lieu of bagpipes mr hornfreak plays amazing grace on the saxaphone #they bury vash in the ground #a little while later some leaves sprout from that exact same place #little while later than that vash is reborn like a fuckin cabbage patch kid #he quickly grows back to adulthood but he remembers nothing of his past life #then chronica comes and picks up vash and meryl and wolfwood on her spaceship to yeet them back in time to earth to get some whales #why do they need whales on a sand planet? not important #what is important is that vash gets his memory back and everyone lives hea the end #trigun #my art #trigun maximum #trimax #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #mashwood #vashmeryl #vashwood #merylwood #vashmerylwood

[cannotgiveafuck]

I don’t tend to age Billy passed like 12, or even young teenagerhood for some snippets, just as a personal preference thing, but I have another Billy Batson concept - where Billy, now entering adulthood is a grown man and closer to Marvel’s supposed age and looks. No longer is Marvel some child fantasy of being Grown Up, because now he IS a grown up. And how would that conscious inner awareness go, with those streams crossing.

Like, he gets mistaken as Marvel by someone. Maybe it’s the black hair and blue eyes or maybe it’s the way he smiles with his whole face and laughs with his whole body. But it’s obvious that he’s NOT, ya know. Billy isn’t as big and strong, doesn’t have the height or muscle or radiating magical aura that draws others in. But still it’s the first time as BILLY that a stranger has seen / thought of him as Captain Marvel.

And it gets to him.

In a way that has him staring at his own reflection. Because he always thought Marvel looked like his dad - C.C. Batson. He’s thought that the moment he turned into Marvel. And he knows that it is reasonable for him to grow and look like his father. But he never thought about the next step of him, Billy Batson, looking like Marvel when he grew up. And now he’s staring at this face that sorta looks like his dad and sorta looks like Marvel and is all Billy, and it hits him that he’s there at that point of existence he never thought he’d live long enough to reach.

Like a Lost Boy all grown up.

And he doesn’t know if he’s disappointed or elated that he doesn’t look exactly like Marvel. That he looks close enough sometimes, at certain angles or when he does something reminiscent. Wonders if maybe he should work out more or instead dye his hair a completely different color. 

Then he wonders what changes to himself he could do that would transfer onto Marvel. Because Marvel is more an avatar than an actual body, but it’s the ideal Mighty Mortal body taken from the blueprint of Billy Batson, so why wouldn’t different hair or a tattoo show up? Thats all different from the scars he has, the Lichtenburg figures and the evidence of a hard life at a young age permanently marring his skin. 

And how eerie that must be, now so close to Marvel’s build and physique, to look upon the proof of his mortality and life, and see them gone from the other body that no longer feels like he’s a kid wearing an adult suit. Left wondering if he’s going to keep aging, if he’ll keep living, and one day look older than Marvel, or if this is where it stops. If there was ever a Champion that lived long enough to see that, too.

#billy batson #captain marvel #shazam #something something the passage of time to a short human life #but also does billy even have a short human life anymore #how long does it take for him to reach adulthood if he ever does #or do the gods decide to grant him immortality on that front #with the wizard gone and no other Champions #do they allow him to age and live his life or do they take that away too #billy looks in the mirror and has an existential crisis on if hes even human anymore #on top of the rehashed issues of if he's Marvel what is the point of even being Billy #See this is why he goes to therapy #and why he needs Cyborg to keep him grounded

[willowser]

i have this like one hc that pro-hero work involves a lot of traveling, especially in the beginning. they move here for six months and then there for four and then here for 14 and so on, just to get experience out in the field.

so it only makes sense you and bakugou end things, right at the start of his career.

and it's okay. it is. bc you both love each other and you know that, know that it's not ending bc of any huge, terrible fight that makes you enemies of one another. all the memories you'll carry can stay gold, not tarnished by anything other than the bittersweet distance.

getting used to it takes a little time, that's all; before he was your boyfriend, he was your friend, first and foremost. someone you had inside jokes with and had similar interests you could talk to about for hours, things that you only did with him and no one else. things only he knew. and not getting to tell him exciting news about college or ask if he saw the limited edition, golden age all might nendoroid they're releasing at the end of the year...sucks. it feels wrong, like these are things he's supposed to know, no matter what. things you're supposed to talk about.

you call him five months into his eight month nagoya contract and he doesn't answer. you think maybe he changed his number and didn't tell you, bc he doesn't actually have to anymore. bakugou has always been good about self control, keeping to himself, and it wouldn't surprise you if he's written you off without a second thought—bc this is how it's supposed to be when you break up with someone.

it's not until the next day that you get a text, late in the evening.

[9:26 PM] did you mean to call me

of course you did, but maybe you shouldn't have. hearing the line ring over and over again—it's cemented the realization that he's not thinking about you anymore. that he's moved on and you should too and he probably doesn't want to hear whatever if is you want to talk about. he'll probably just think you're weird. clingy.

yeah, but it's nothing important [9:32 PM]

he reads it immediately and—nothing happens. and you think that's it. hopefully you didn't come off too passive aggressive and now he thinks you're mad that he didn't answer. maybe you should have put an emoji, the little smiling one with the hands to show no biggie ! maybe you should have just said that, or that you couldn't remember the name of that hiking trail you did together two summers ago, but then you googled it and didn't need him anymore. or something.

he calls at 10:03.

your heart is in your throat when you pick up, beating like crazy bc you haven't heard his voice in a while. "uh, hello?"

and he hesitates too; his drawn out inhale doesn’t go unnoticed. "hey."

there's a brief period of silence on the line, some light shuffling on his end. sounds of cars passing, the rare honk of what traffic lingers this late at night. the wind scratches by, audible, and you shiver despite being in your own bed. you imagine him under a dim streetlight, fully outfitted.

bakugou huffs, "you called me?"

"yeah," you blink and sit up, though you don't know why. maybe because this needs your full attention, or because you don't want your voice to get muffled by your pillow. "i was just, uh—my roommate. she asked me if i've ever been to gekikara gourmet festival—"

"oh my god."

it's the exasperation in his voice that makes you laugh, so vivid, exactly as you remember it, and you can picture the face he must be making. "i know, i was like 'oh boy, have i'."

"d'you tell her you puked—"

"—with my head between my knees while sitting on that kiddie slide, yes i did."

he snorts, just the way he did as he patted the back of your head that night, awkwardly, standing beside you with a fist at his side. "told you not to try those fucking noodles."

you agree. "they were making even you sweat, i don't know what i was thinking."

it had been one of your first official dates, and you think all the spicy food didn't help with your restless nerves. it always felt stupid, looking back on it, to be so afraid; you'd known bakugou forever, and the only difference between that night and the many you'd spent before as friends was that he'd kissed your temple, lips red from spice and all. it was just bakugou, you thought. what was there to be anxious about?

and now the silence is making your stomach turn.

"yeah," you continue lamely, "nothing important, it just—made me think of you."

he doesn't say anything. if it weren't for the distant slam of something—a trash can lid or car door—you would think he hung up. he's always had a hard time with his words and you don't really even understand why he called instead of texting. if there was something he wanted to say to you, you aren't sure he could.

"so, i guess i'll let you—"

"y'got a roommate now?"

"uh, yeah." something ugly in your stomach wants there to be jealousy in his tone, and you shake your head to be rid of the thought. because it shouldn't matter. "she's in a couple of my classes. big fan of, like, kpop and stuff."

he snorts again and you can imagine the roll of his eyes, bright with amusement despite the frown on his lips. you love that look on him; so content that it felt out of his character, something he wanted to hide. being the cause of it has always been so sweet. "different apartment?"

"yeah, in a little dorm on campus." he didn't live with you long, just in the time between graduating and when his applications to agencies began returning acceptions. "couldn't afford that place by myself."

bakugou hums, and your eyes swim so suddenly that you have to take the phone away from your head. you wonder if he misses those days as much as you do. the simple life, doing the mundane together; washing clothes in the laundry room downstairs, having to clean the dishes by hand or the dishwasher would flood the tiny kitchen, taking quick showers together so that you'd both get hot water.

it was terrible. it was perfect. the kind of life you could never have, with dynamight.

his voice buzzes distantly and you sniff, wiping at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater before putting the phone back up to your ear.

"what'd you say?"

"that—" he huffs, "nothin'." you sniff again, unthinking, and he goes completely silent again. no inhale, no exhale.

he's not stupid. he probably knew this would happen and that's why he didn't want to answer. it was hard enough for him to get the words out the first time ("just gonna be shit, for you to be waitin'. eraser told me not to—won't be able to keep any fucking—and i don't wanna be some jackass that just lets you down all the fuckin' time.")

"sorry," you laugh because you feel awkward, because you didn't mean to force what you've been suffocating on him all at once. "i don't know what just happened."

bakugou mumbles, "s'fine."

you think that even if there was something he wanted to say, he wouldn't know how.

"but yeah," you sigh and scrub a hand over your face again. "no biggie, just thought it was funny when she asked and wanted to tell you. it's actually kind of late and i need to head to bed, but i'll—" talk to him later, is what you want to say, but your stomach drops and you know that it's not that easy. not anymore.

maybe it will be one day in the future, but this is the life you have to live, for now. all you can do is hold onto that hope, as your throat tries to tighten again.

"fuck, i—" he breathes, so frustrated that it nearly becomes a grunt, "y'don't know how—just, goddammit, in three months i'll—"

"i know," you tell him, and you smile like he can see it. in three months, he'll come back, to accept another contract, and then he'll be gone again. if there was a way to make it work, bakugou would have found it. of all people, bakugou would have found it. "it's okay," you tell him.

and it is. it is.

#wow whoops made myself cry LOL #no but like imagine dating him and getting like this taste for such a simple life #the crappy start up after graduating high school #when you can hardly afford you water bill and don't know what to do when the air conditioning breaks #trying to figure out adulthood together #and bakugou just won't get that #by the time he's out of school he's already been a child soldier #faced more in his life than most people ever will #he could never live a normal 9-5 with you and that's probably not even something he ever thought he would want #until he couldn't have it #BYE #on the other end he's gripping the phone and clenching his teeth so tight and curling into himself #as if he could submerse himself into your laugh just one more time #BYYYEEEE #bakugou drabble #bakugou angst #bakugou x reader #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: bakugou

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I literally feel so anxious it's making me feel like I'm gonna throw up

#like. wanting things I can't have. also worries about money. helpp #adulthood woes #why does anything except living my life doing jack shit in this two horse town seem so unattainable #I'm just trying to be realistic but does that have to mean being wise? #it's like. reality and my dreams are at odds. my wants and what I can have are mutually exclusive. #alexa play fake out

[msnihilist]

Sorry, but Phineas and Ferb going to college as adults is soooo fake. 1) What the fuck is college gonna teach them? 2) They're both WAY too restless to study for four years or more for ONE degree. They spent a single afternoon building to the MOON. FOUR YEARS might as well be an ETERNITY. Spending that in SCHOOL?? WASTE OF TIME.

#phineas and ferb #p&f fandom pls stop doing this in fanfics it's so untrue #they both clearly dropped out of high school and immediately got their GEDs anyway #not as impressive as baljeet who got his first degree in middle school— #but y'know phineas and ferb waited until freshman year because of the social opportunities #then they spend their twenties solving world hunger and ending war everywhere and not only saving endangered species but bringing a few BACK #phineas uses a teleporter to visit isabella at her college whenever he wants #and he and ferb have a multi-terrain mobile home they share that has twenty stories and two pools on the inside #I've read so many fics that go the same route 'Act Your Age' went #where real life + adulthood bog down on the boys #and that SUCKS #it's realistic sure. life gets harder when you grow up. but so what?? #this show has ALWAYS been about taking the universe in your hands and moulding it to whatever you want #no the boys won't go to college they won't separate or give up on their big ideas or pay taxes #it's THEIR world and everyone is better for having lived in it

[ferncloud]

hmm i wonder if tumblr user ferncloud likes ferncloud...

/.\ MAYBE...

#LOL #when i first got this username in 2014 i liked her just fine but in a sort of whatever way #over the years ive grown quite attached HAHAHA i love her shes so kitty of all time #her mother is killed horrifically and left outside her home & she immediately offers herself to lead the dogs which is a near death sentenc #& weeks later she participates in a massive battle to the death with bloodclan... these events r often credited as traumatic experiences #explaining ashfurs terrible life choices but ferncloud went thru the same thangs. & then dustpelt.... was an adult hovering over her through #out all of this. & then she just wants to have kittens & if were reading into it maybe she wants to raise kittens the way she wishes she was #raised but many of her kittens die early or make it to adulthood but die b4 her. & on top of just what we know about her life shes hated by #thousands of readers for being a woman who wants to raise kids. & SHES KILLED CUZ SHES SO HATED... #i notice even now ferncloud is still reduced to motherhood by a lot of ppl #& thats ok its not that deep shes a bg character its nobodys job to think about everything. but she can be so personal & special & emo too #she is to me 💗 im proud to be a ferncloud. if ferncloud has 0 fans it cuz i died 😁 #Oh i also have the handdrawn comic page from a shadow in riverclan by james that has ferncloud blushing at feathertail LOL #i am sooooooooo sorry for this miles long tags rant #ask

[cinna-bunnie]

not me and my manager trauma bonding over mommy issues 💀💕 i love her aksksk oof i had to go smoke and Think after this one

i love when our one on ones are basically like lol i don't have much 2 talk about this wk and we get like 40m to hang n talk after getting work stuff out the way. she is such a sweetie and so fun (❁´◡`❁)

#i talked about my intro 2 adulthood and what it was like around before/when i left home and how my sis was just 10 when i left #so we never rly got to be close n i just started talking 2 her this year. but the last thing i told my mom was she lost her son forever #and that she better not fuck up with my sister - and she took it to heart fr which was Great for my sister. #she grew up v loved and supported and idk as the eldest u have complicated feelings being the experiment child. #and as an older sibling u are genuinely happy ur younger sibling has it so much better but there's this disconnect where u both have #Very very different feelings about ur mom and family in general ig. but it's from having lived different lives and idk. #she relates though 😔💕 oldest sibs rly b dealing w moms that tear them down then watch w bittersweet feelings that ur sibs get a better #life. my life itself is fine lol im kinda stoned (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) but like. a good loving childhood. support. community n never feeling like #there's Nothing for u here. she's turning 21 in December it's crazy how time flies. I'm glad she's doing good but I'm just thinking about #how we had Very different lives and stuff going on in our late teens 😮‍💨 #bless my manager fr i'm glad we got to get into it !! 😹 i can see why i miss her when we don't get to meet for the week

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

#lizzy speaks #hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023 #but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me #so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s #it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything #and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are #all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it #for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet' #and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient- #kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an- #instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.' #like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space #and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i #some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues- #our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol #but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard- #of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works #i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things. #in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive' #but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity' #...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people! #who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish! #thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories! #and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more #it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly! #ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves #as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like #wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!

[itspileofgoodthings]

💕💚

#so. Rambling on this my 28th birthday #I think I might have some kind of hormonal/mood imbalance #maybe. I think that could be likely #and I also think I have very fast emotional cycles #so I work through things quickly #and so I’m in kind of a pattern right now where I post in utter anguish #and the anguish is REAL and I am by no means faking it #but then it resolves. Not even the thing that causes the anguish but the feeling itself #and I just feel better and then I move on #and I am trying to get somewhat of a handle on what exactly it is #and I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation of what I post #but I guess also I would like to #and I think—as I type this out—that what’s happening to me right now #is TWO things #and one of those things is the very real very new pains of adulthood and life #that are hitting me like a shock to the system #but then ALSO some old emotional echoes that need to be purged from my psyche #that are not in fact how I want to deal with things or react to things #but which flare up in response to triggers #and cause anguish so bad it is literally physical #and I would love to be able to distinguish between the two #because there IS much that is hard and scary and painful and confusing in my personal life right now #and also there are simply old wounds and fears at play that I would like very much to set down #and allow myself to change. In response to which I would like to choose a new way of thinking!!!! #a truer and different attitude! #and yeah. it’s so hard. It’s SO HARD. It’s SO HARD TO ACCEPT THAT IT’s BOTH and it just AHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHJJ #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway thank you for listening and for seeing and for taking the cries of anguish posts #I guess I just wanted a follow-up of some kind #because sometimes I feel insane and I feel like I LOOK insane #and it’s awful

[hawkhills]

talk to me about profound, formative events in adulthood impacting people's settled daemons. are their shapes set in stone? would a strong enough experience manage to cause a crack in their settled shape? is there such a thing as daemon dysphoria? do our daemons define us, or do we define them?

#his dark materials #daemons #like ok i know daemon settlement is related to dust and adulthood or whatever #but they reflect peoples souls and the kind of people they are #AND THAT CAN CHANGE #our souls can be broken or elevated at any time of our lives #we can experience things so profound and of such incredible importance that i truly believe a person can be changed at their core #at any moment of their life #i was thinking about recently when i took an mbti test for fun for the first time since i was 20 #so arguably an adult and would have had a long set daemon by hdm standards #mbti as most other personality tests widely available on the internet are bullshit but still #a few years back it consistently would give me infp and i definitelt related to that #now its enjf and yea. i grew and changed a lot over these years and the defining qualities do seem to fit #so that made think about my own daemon again and while before an african civet seemed the perfect fit now i found im a gray wolf #[using the daemonpage forum for reference btw; their analyses are superb] #anyways yea #this just led me to think about how constricting the concept of settled daemons is #people change over their whole life #sometimes the most defining changes dont happen during adolescence. sometimes we 'grow up' more than once #what happens then #granted i have not read everything pullman ever wrote so i might be wrong #but i dont think this has been ever properly explored #i want to talk about this so bad

[the-everqueen]

re: my last post. i'm also hypersensitive this semester to being put in the position of "child." i recently detailed to my therapist how a lot of people irl have positioned me as childish, naive, infantile, etc. and then this week i had a whole moment where i reviewed my childhood and made a long list of flags for autism. and it's about agency! it's about how i'm never a subject to a lot of people, i'm a convenient accessory or a tool for their own egos. i spent my whole undergrad education being talked down to and treated as a "kid," and then i finally got a taste of being treated as a professional in grad school, and now i'm back to "kid." i hate this! i get i'm not "passing" as neurotypical and i need to mask harder but also they need to fucking reevaluate their ableism!

#about me #postdoc life #like i get they don't KNOW they're stomping on trauma but also #can we maybe think about what gets designated as ''normal''?? #also i hate this idea that being partnered with the goal being monogamous marriage and eventually having kids #is somehow the pinnacle of adulthood #this is your brain on autism #< my new autism tag

[figurativepieceoftrash]

Yeah I also find it frustrating that so many bnha fics are so fluffy and ooc. Fwiw proximity is one of my favorite fics in any fandom because of how much of myself I see in it - I did not grow up disabled, but I sure am now, and it perfectly captures the stubborn denial and the sense of loss and the struggle to carve a place for yourself in a world that does not want you as you are. I’m usually too shy to comment, but reread it whenever I’m emotionally prepared to have my heart squeezed into a sad pretzel shape. Thank you for writing ❤️

AHHHH OMG going insane over this I wanna eat it and hug it and put it on the dashboard of my car and frame it over my bed 😭😭😭

I'm so glad proximity connected with you in the exact way I intended it to, it is very much about coping with sudden onset disability and hearing that someone correctly parsed that and identified with it is driving me up the wall I'M EATING GLASS JCCHJCVJJJV

Sorry if this response seems absolutely insane I'm just. Feral over people correctly interpreting my work 🥺

I can't promise I'm going to update it soon but this ask has inspired me to immediately start work on the next chapter I need you to know THANK YOU 💕

#it's also about the general aimlessness of young adult #grieving lost potential #attempting to preserve friendships during a decisive shift in life stages #etc. etc. etc. #many many more things I'm not going to go into bc I could go off for days proximity means so much to me #also a lot of them are bigtime spoilers #literally everyone has sm going on in the background rn that I'm not at leisure to disclose :') #anYWAYS #trash talking #ask tag #fave #inspo #*devisive omg #*ADULTHOOD #I'm tired as hell y'all yk what the typos were meant to say 😭