#what the fuck dc

[thebatbaes]

Jason, Tim and Damian:

#what the fuck DC

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

So Lian just has a younger brother that she's never met, huh?

Jade had a son with Catman. And they named him Thomas... aka Tom.... because he's a tom cat I guess?

#i feel bad for jade on this one #fucked up that they told her that her infant child was dead when he wasn't #and then placed him up for adoption behind her back #would she have been a good parent? probably not. but you don't trick someone into thinking their kid is dead #ALSO THE AUDACITY TO PULL THIS BULLSHIT AT THE SAME TIME LIAN DIED #SHE HAD TO DEAL WITH BOTH OF HER CHILDREN DYING WITHIN A YEAR #WHAT THE FUCK DC #dc #dc comics

[spacedace]

Hey.

Hey hey hey hey hey

So, I was looking up clones in the DC universe for my Clone Queen Elle dp x dc AU thing, and I only got as far as the first one because I started with that clone of Damian that killed him, and I got completely derailed because -

What do you MEAN he was BORN in a WHALE??? What? WHAT?

WHY DID TALIA PUT HIM IN A WHALE? HOW??? WHY?!?

Was the whale alive?? Was it like a surrogate thing? I know I asked this already but really why a WHALE? Like what the actual fuck???

Like I'm sure there's context I'm missing because I just looked at the wiki and I know I should just read the comic to get my answers and I will eventually but I just gotta get this out of my system first because of all the things I could have possibly expected to read there was no way I could have been ready for that

#batman #damian wayne #the heritic dc #what the fuck Talia #what the fuck DC #a WHALE #like the dude probably didn’t have much of a chance to begin with #but his first moments of life being spent having to bust his way out of a fucking WHALE could NOT have helped #like can you even IMAGINE

[chadra-fan-irl]

Do y’all ever think about how weird it is that one of the most commonly referenced events in DC is a child getting brutally beaten to death?

#dc #Jason Todd #joker #red hood #Batman #death in the family #what the fuck dc

[what-is-your-plan-today]

This is a shitter! A real shitter! Especially if this was the reason he’s not continued with the Witcher!

I mean… 😖

That’s poor from DC.

#henry cavill #superman #what the fuck DC

[alyakthedorklord]

Duke, new to the family, awkwardly entering the kitchen where various members of the Waynes are hanging out/baking/drooling over the baking: Uh… random question, is Tim dating someone?

Steph, all her training focused on stealing baked goods: oh yeah he’s got a boyfriend, why?

Duke, just wanted a book, utterly disgusted: I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t outing him if I told you he’s currently defiling the library.

Jason, slamming down a bowl of brownie batter: he’s fucking WHAT-

#steph immediately takes advantage of jason’s distraction #*grabs like 10 cookies* #‘lmao more like he’s fucking who!’ #timkon #or #timbern #idk what to tag so #either works #jason’s gonna kill them either way #duke will help #alliance of bookish bats #dc prompt #tim drake #duke thomas #batfamily #jason todd

[finemealprompt]

DP x DC Prompt #9

When Phantom joined the Justice League, he wasn’t prepared to be approached by Batman of all people. He had been warned to not take everything Batman says to you personally, but that he was a great hero.

Batman had a request. A simple one, at least according to Batman. He asked Phantom to meet an anti-hero who had come back from the dead and had some … nasty side effects.

Phantom, intrigued, agreed. Batman set a time and place, and Phantom showed up. But, Phantom thought Batman had said the one in the red helmet was the undead.

He doesn’t understand why everyone freaks out when Phantom approaches the vigilante with half a cowl dressed in black and red. This boy reeked of death, did Batman seriously not know?

#finemeal prompt #dp x dc #danny fenton #tim drake #batman #batfam #tim drake is some kinda fucked up #for what reason? #who knows #but i thought it’d be funny to have someone else a lil fucked up from deatg #jason todd is gonna make fun of tim so much for this you already know XD #y’all think tim’s obsession would be batman? #or vigilantism? #idk could be fun

[nerdpoe]

There's a level of Hell that Constantine loves and hates in equal measure.

The Level of Lust and Debauchery.

He loves it for what it is, but he also really, really hates it. The beings in it are unhinged at best, completely insane at worst. Stronger than Demons, but weaker than Gods-it's always more stressful than fun dealing with them.

So needing to summon the King of that level is...well. John can already feel the exhaustion.

But instead of exhaustion, he feel rage. Disgust.

The King that shimmers into existence is a fucking child.

And John honestly loses some time after that.

He comes back from ranting with the tiny King forcefully yanking him to a stop.

"Wait, you thought the Infinite Realms were what?"

Turns out, that wasn't the Level of Lust and Debauchery at all. Turns out, the Infinite Realms has a Red Light District.

Turns out, that is a very, very small part of the Infinite Realms, and this tiny child King had no idea it was there, and now he has to explain what a Red Light District is to an increasingly mortified Royal Teenager.

All around, it's not a fun time for anyone present.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #john made some assumptions and now he and danny have to suffer for them #danny didn't mean “what's a red light district” he means “what the fuck would a red light district in the ghost zone even look like” #now he's getting the birds and the bees and the chains and whips that bind them talk from some scrungly magician #and he's too mortified to tell the man he already knows #afterwards danny and john pretend like they never met #pretend like the next summoning is the first one #but the other Leaguers who were present for the first know #even though they really didn't want to #that John is into some FREAKY SHIT #and think that the King of the Infinite Realms is an innocent babey

[frownyalfred]

Bruce learns Kryptonian secretly just so one day during a JL meeting he can turn to Clark and go “hal really thought that haircut made him look good huh” with the most deadpan expression ever

#Clark: what…..what the fuck did you just say #bruce wayne #batman #dc #superbat #clark kent #superman #it’s THEIR language ok #he and Bruce are like two of the only people who speak it fluently #that’s my hc #before they meet other Kryptonian etc at least

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 215

Danny has found himself as a cat. And there’s good news and bad news about it. The good news is that he’s a magical cat or something similar, seeing as he has two tails and can go Very Big if he wants to. Bad news? He’s pretty sure they’re in a different dimension now.��

Cute news, both Ellie and Jordan are itty bitty kittens and utterly adorable, he would murder for them. They’re so tiny! Like, yeah they got physically de-aged before all this so they could properly pass as his kids- along with part of Dan’s parole- but this? He could hold them in his hands if he still had them! 

Alright! First things first, find a shelter and avoid the destroyed buildings along with whatever destroyed them in the first place. Then he could figure out if this is an accident or some sort of forced vacation. But shelter first. 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #DP x Marvel #Prompts #Nekomata Danny #De aged Dan #De aged Ellie #Overprotective feral Danny is about to wreck shit if someone so much as looks at his kids wrong #He’s a big fluffy feline with two “ghost orbs” floating by his tails in cameras #”Is that a fucking Lazarus Pit/Death Cat???” #What time is Danny in? Good question #He could be in any time in the past or present or future #Maybe they’re there for several centuries who knows #if DC I bet he'd get along with Dex-Star

[bbbbbbbbatman]

People are so surprised when Clark seems to actually...like Bruce Wayne? Like for his personality?

Like, when people date Bruce Wayne, it's usually for his money, his fame, or both. And everybody knows this, even Bruce, clueless as he is. It's not like he's dating them because he thinks they're his true love, he's clearly just having some fun, and if Bruce is okay with it, well, everybody else is too. No big deal. Bruce gets what he wants, his partners get what they want, and that's it.

So when Bruce Wayne announces he's dating Clark Kent, everyone assumes he'll be just like the rest. Except--he's not?

Outside of his job as a reporter and a few appearances as Bruce's date, he remains pretty private--so he's not after his five minutes of fame. So he must be after some money, right? No problem, Bruce loves spending money on his partners.

Except, it's been like two months but Clark keeps showing up to things in cheap, ill-fitting suits and sources report that he still lives in a small, mid-grade apartment in Metropolis, and he doesn't even have a car. A car is like a chump change gift to a guy like Bruce.

And then people start talking to him because they gotta figure out what this guy's deal is and...Clark seems to...like Bruce? Like obviously Bruce is a likeable guy, but not as a serious romantic partner. But Clark talks about how he likes spending time with Bruce, and spending time with Bruce's kids (which is absolutely unheard of), and he wishes they both had more free time to spend together.

Anyway, people are so confounded by smart, normal guy Clark Kent in an actual loving relationship with the guy who got in a public argument last week because he thought melancholy was a vegetable.

#everybody scrutinizing bruce and clark trying to figure out what the fuck they’re missing that makes this relationship work #everybody at the daily planet: clark blink twice if you need help #bruce wayne #superman #batman #superbat #clark kent #dc comics #dc #mine

[radiance1]

So, Danny was effectively homeless.

His parents are dead, his sister is dead, his friends are dead. Hell, even Vlad, Vlad kicked the fucking bucket which, Danny genuinely never expected.

Vlad was supposed to be his nemesis, his main bad guy, the guy Danny's supposed to constantly pull everything out against just to win. Not to mention how significant his presence was.

A part of him assumed that Vlad would always be there and him not being there and knowing he won't be there ever again is... weird.

So you're probably asking, how exactly did this happen?

Well you see, the nasty burger exploded, for one thing. Then when he was under Vlad's care both of them got outed for being ghosts to the GIW, which was technically Danny's fault, since he did something extremely stupid.

Somehow they got caught, and life under the GIW was not great in the slightest. The constant experiments, the dehumanization (Sometimes Danny doesn't even register himself as human), the amount of times their feelings were utterly disregarded, and so, so much more.

The GIW found Vlad to be more dangerous than Danny, even if he lacked the raw power Danny had his intellect made him dangerous and for good reason. For it was because of said intellect that Danny managed to escape.

Vlad didn't manage to do the same.

Danny hated reliving that memory. Because Vlad was a villain, evil and self-serving, he shouldn't be sacrificing himself for his literal greatest enemy to escape in his stead (Not that Vlad would say Danny was his greatest, he would probably say it was the person who refused him to buy the packers). It was just, so utterly stupid and out of character for him.

So, Danny managed to escape, Vlad died. He couldn't even say anything about Dani because she got destabilized in front of him, in front of both of them actually. It hurt to watch and, he didn't quite know the specifics between Dani and Vlad anymore, but he thinks they were getting... better.

Not how it was when Dani was first created, but Vlad was working on mending it. Which, honestly, just makes everything worse.

Danny isn't powerless but it's a damn close thing. He's far weaker than he normally would be, and he's injured on top of that too boot, his powers can barely work and it's just so stupid.

So here he was, hiding out in some random sewer because he didn't want to take the risk of being on the surface and he hates the smell, but he'll take that over being experimented on again. So, Danny spends most of his time in the sewers of this place called Gotham, he even managed to make his own little area with a couch he stole and a few other appliances that were thrown out.

He lacked a Tv or laptop, but he found a yo-yo! Most of his time was spent practicing various tricks with his yo-yo.

It got boring fast. But it was really the only safe thing he could do when waiting for his powers to come back. At least he's a god at yo-yoing now.

It was while doing various tricks with it in some random sewer path, that a literal, goddamn crocodile-man just splashed up from sewer water and half-laid on the edge, since his lower body was still in the water.

Danny looked at his yo-yo, the crocodile, and then slowly stepped on over and gently poked the crocodile dude.

He made a sound, so he was alive!

Finally! Someone to appreciate his godly yo-yoing skills!

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #How did Dani get caught by the GIW? #Just assume she got caught along the way or sum #Anyways #Killer Croc just wanted a nap after being beaten up by Batman again #Why was a child in his sewers? #He doesn't even have the energy to try and eat the kid so he'll just #Let him do what he wants for now #Not like a normal child could ever threaten him #. #Why in the ever loving fuck was this kid showing him what he could do with a yo-yo??? #Why is there a weird child with-impressive- yo-yo skills in his sewers????

[queenofthequillandink]

Steph's new roommate's little brother was absolutely a meta.

The two of them weren't really trying particularly hard to hide it, but they weren't mentioning it either, so Steph just... followed their lead. Especially because Jazz, while a little neurotic, was a pretty good roommate and new some truly innovative things to make in the microwave with whatever was in their dorm fridge.

But anyway, back to the meta thing. Steph could totally back it up.

Jazz was from the Midwest somewhere, one of the "I" states. (Indiana? Illinois? Iowa? Steph could never keep them straight.) From the way Jazz talked about her parents and the things she said to Danny, Steph could tell that the Fentons still lived there and Danny with them. Yet at least four nights out of seven, without fail, Steph would come home from a long night studying or vigilante-ing to find Danny in their dorm room, usually passed out on the futon. As though Gotham wasn't halfway across the country from Indiana or Illinois or Iowa.

"Our parents are pretty loud," Jazz explained with a quiet grimace, the first time it happened. "Like 'keep you awake at all hours of the night' loud. I told Danny he could sleep here when he needs to, is that okay? Tucker's parents are great, but they'll kick him out eventually."

"As a sleep-deprived college kid, I wholeheartedly support sleeping wherever you can get it," Steph whispered back. "As long as he doesn't eat my half of the food, I'm not gonna tattle to the RA."

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Jazz squealed, flapping her hands. Steph darted a glance at the teenager passed out on their futon, but he didn't even twitch. "Oh, don't worry, you have to be loud enough to wake the dead to get Danny up," Jazz said with a smirk.

"Alright. Makes things easier, I suppose," Steph said with a shrug, moving to sling her backpack onto her bunk. "He gonna be here in the morning?"

Jazz narrowed her eyes as though Elder Sister Glare could penetrate dreams. Hell, maybe it could. "He'll be at school before you wake up, if he knows what's good for him."

School. Which should be halfway across the country. Sure. Well, Steph could recognize a topic that Simply Wasn't Spoken About and unlike the rest of the Bats, she actually respected her roommate's personal privacy. "Cool."

So. Definitely a meta. Teleportation, maybe? Or superspeed or flying, she supposed. Whatever it was, the kid was clearly only using it to get a good night's rest in a safe space, so it wasn't really Steph's business.

At least neither of them had noticed she was a vigilante. It was an impressive secret to keep in such close quarters, if Steph did say so herself.

~*~

Jazz had clocked that Stephanie was Spoiler in a week and a half. And it only took her that long because she was distracted by orientation. The girl wasn't exactly subtle. Especially not with her injuries. Jazz had three years of experience watching someone come home injured and try to hide it, and while she was better than Danny, it still wasn't good enough.

Still, Steph wasn't making a big deal of Danny portalling into their dorm half of every week. And, like she had with Danny, Jazz wanted Steph to trust her enough to tell her herself.

And if this meant that Jazz spent a good portion of her first semester figuring out the rest of the Bats' identities based on Steph's friends and acquaintances, well. That was between her and Steph's scary-but-sweet girlfriend who read her like a book as soon as their eyes met.

#dpxdc #danny phantom #jazz fenton #danny fenton #dc comics #batman #stephanie brown #spoiler #i just think it would be funny for jazz and steph to be roommates #and jazz to know exactly what's happening #and steph to have a pretty good idea #and they just Never Fucking Talk About It #my writing #original

[mysterycitrus]

the post-crisis nightwing comic set after dick’s 2009 batman run that exists in my brain….. i could do so much w u if i wasn’t exhausted and burnt out

#this is the verse persephone is set in btw……. the What If new52 didn’t ruin fucking everything #dick grayson #nightwing #batfam #dc comics #mart

[soarrenbluejay]

Supervillains for a community. (Well, except those jerks over in Gotham, insular lot, but they’re they’re one problem) Of course they do- supervillains are a group defined by strong opinions and a willingness to see them through, often with a healthy dash of societal failures and trauma as a catalyst.

The fentons, while not active even on the online message boards, are well known and explosive when they do show up, full of fascinating insights and hours long rants on mad science on hair pin turns courtesy of that ADHD attention span. Bit of the cryptids you feel honored to bump into kind of deal. Besides, like a good quarter of the community as it aged, they’d settled down and had kids (not necessarily in that order) and taken it very seriously! Out in the middle of nowhere, where even the most fearsome government outpost members, the local branch of the IRS, quake before them in fear. Out of the way.

Reveal gone okay-ish, Danny moves to Gotham still to get some air bc now things are Akward and he landed that engineering scholarship which is loads better than any other college would give him with his track record. So- the mysterious Fenton children are finally crawling out of hiding! Everyone is psyched! And roll in to Gotham en masse to witness the fireworks!

Except Danny is Determined To Be Normal. He’s had enough of the throwing himself into harms way shit for a lifetime- he wants to be free to peacefully built Rube Goldberg machines and unintentional increasingly complex bombs to his hearts content. JAZZ, on the other hand- the coveted token Normal One, has finally snapped! She’s watched her baby brother she practically raised throw himself into danger over and over and could do nothing, and now that she’s exposed to this whole network of superheroes outside of small town Amnity, some of those uglier emotions are coming out. And boy is she pissed! And can’t afford to show it much while filing the paperwork to have Arkham legally razed to the ground!

See I love this idea of like, niches in superhero society. A villain the heroes know they can plop their kiddo down with for an exciting afternoon brawl while they take care of a particularly grisly case and come back to a few hours later ranting about some new life lesson and a new move they really want to try. A villain who has a functioning moral compass despite their somewhat batshit long term goal and you can contact to fuck with another villains’s plan so they can laugh at them and you can have an easy afternoon. One who pries up hostile architecture and fills in pot holes, idk man. Get creative here, there’s such potential!

So Jazz becomes a Training villain- someone the heroes know their sidekicks will walk away from in a fight 100% of the time, usually with some new lesson to ponder and only a couple of bruises. Sometimes even snacks!

She also absolutely ambushes mentors to check that they’re worth the kiddo, which they appreciate once they get over being jumped in a dark alley by a 7 foot Amazon trained force of nature. They are not used to being on that side of the jumping, it’s a little unnerving.

(Yes, she low key adopts Shazam upon checking in with him on cursory ‘is the main hero of this city and asshole’ checkin. Yes, the super clones get yoinked out from under Superman’s negligent thumb to go have a blast with Ellie. What about it?)

This however only encourages more assorted weirdos to crawl out of the woodwork. It’s not often one of their own forfeits their potential spot for the running of the coveted Most Normal I Swear prize, but when they do it’s bound to be good! But jazz is off hounding various heroes and punching the faces in of pedophiles and shit whenever there’s no cape within easy reach, and so is a mite bit harder to contact than Danny, who has innocently gotten an apprenticeship under a clockworker for access to their workshop and is gleefully going about doing nerdy shit with great abandon.

Plus this is Gotham. No one gives a shit if someone in the Mad Alchemist uniform and still smoking from their latest experiment pokes their head in a window to bother the local shrimp teen- none of the usual social rules apply, everyone’s crazy here! So everyone drops any and all attempts at masking and just acts their genuine unhinged selves, much to the alarm of the Bats and frustration of Danny.

Bc he cannot get these mfers to go. Away. Even liberal use of the creep stick has little effect when the interloper is calibrated for an opponent with super speed or laser vision or whatever, and he’s trying to maintain his guise as a Normal College Student Do No Investigate.

So he calls in the big guns. He’s not super active in the supervillain kids group chat ever since things in amnity calmed the fuck down post becoming King and then immediately using a loophole that says he will not take the throne until he is grown, as defined by finishing learning his trade a la the medieval standards Pariah set up. So he can just take his sweet ass time with his graduate degree and out of inter dimensional bull shit that much longer! Point is, he hasn’t taken the chance to rant over there in a while, so his Crazy friends are getting a lil worried.

The change to come over and shout at their batshit crazy but (mostly) well meaning parent AND see Danny? Score!

The bats, however, are getting awfully suspicious about this one kid that villains from all over the country are flocking to, especially young and upcoming ones as of recently! And he’s acting his engineering course- all the worst rogues are known to have flown through their PhD studies prior to Cracking. They seem to have a real problem on their hands with this Fenton guy.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #mad science #supervillain community #bonus points if you can pull out some super niche comic villain #justice for kite man #local child of a crazy chemist: so you know that trick you showed me with the soda and the reaction that could turn into just like all foam #Danny: yeah and also back the fuck up #lcoacc: so it’s been like my comfort food right but like I started wondering what you could do #danny: oh no (he says while making what amounts of an overachieving smoke bomb) #lcoacc: so I was like what if I add more of a base to it so it could be solid and then maybe just like a LIL acid to see what happens #Danny: oh ancients #lcoacc: but then the killjoy supes came in a ruined everything from where I was ruining lex Luther’s day #Danny:… did you get in on camera #lcoacc: OF COURSE. oh also like everyone ever if coming over for a sleepover lol #Danny: WHAT I CANT FEED YOU MONSTERS #lcoacc: no worrries we’ll rob a bulk store or something lol #Danny: nO

[sentient-stove]

Lady Gotham and Phantom are friends- Lady Gotham and Phantom are coworkers/friendly to a degree with each other- Lady Gotham sees Phantom as her child adjacent blah blah blah

Consider the funnier option:

*Lady Gotham and Danny fucking hate each other.*

Danny takes two steps into the city and he can feel the city physically vibrating she wants him gone so badly. Unfortunately for her, Danny is a teenager that fought god (pariah dark) once and on a principle doesn’t listen to authority.

Just give me two city-spirits having the absolute worst beef with each other for no reason whatsoever.

#gotham: get out #Danny: hear me out what if you fucked off #danny phantom #danny fenton #gotham #dc x dp #dpxdc #extra layer of humor if Danny gets close to the bats just to be even more annoying to her #lady gotham