I know I know we have already clowned on this person so much, but like step away from disco elysium brain for a second. The idea that stories have to be uplifting and palatable to all is bad. It closes your eyes to so much art that is vital to understanding people throughout cultural boundaries. Disco Elysium is a complicated, distinctly non American story that makes you step outside of your base assumptions and question the unquestionable. The story does this deliberately. Wanting that story to erode into something simple and idyllic- that is a cruel neutering. I feel like American progressive culture focuses too much on demographic diversity, and not enough on diversity of experiences and history. The need to make a checklist- you play as a disabled, non man! Queer themes! Etc. That takes away your ears towards a wide variety of stories that ARE queer disabled non white etc. Because you are looking for a hamfisted, virtue signaling obviousness, you are missing the intricate stories told by people who don't have your background. Your phd in politically correct American english. By valuing the ability to speak this progressive language, and policing the words used to describe someone's own experiences - you're not listening. You're missing out on art.
So yeah. If you close your ears to disco elysium because it's a grimy detective story with a white man (it's...not set in America but let's just let the concept of whiteness stay for simplicity). Then you're not actually accepting of diversity. You're accepting of the checklist.
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stop being preachy on this subject and trying to force everyone to interact or make posts about the situation, some people have dedicated their accounts to specific things in order to compartmentalize and not have to deal w this mental anguish from doomscrolling 24/7.
not allowing yourself any peace rest or leisure will not end the war, it will not bring back the dead, will not aid the suffering of those people. the only thing not allowing yourself peace like that will do is soothe your conscience as if you were actually doing something when you aren't. you're just watching with your hands tied like everyone else. you can enjoy things and post about other stuff while still deeply caring and being in solidarity with the people of palestine, this is the internet you can do multiple things at once in different web spaces.
telling other people what they should or should not be doing on the internet while there's a war on won't fucking do anything except shame people for trying to stay sane. you have no idea how harmful this shit is for people with moral obsessions and compulsions, you're just causing more suffering to people who don't deserve it, just stop that shit. if you actually want to help then take action, call your representatives, show up to a protest, donate to a cause. anything else.
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a lot of my issue with romance novels is that they tend to rely heavily on internal relationship conflict for drama, and i feel like a lot of people who write that sort of thing are much better at writing conflict than they are at writing resolutions, so i very often get to the end of the book going, 'yeah, no, you've totally sold me on the argument that these two should not be together because they clearly can't have a five minute conversation with their pants on that doesn't end in a fight or a misunderstanding, why is this supposed to be a happy ending, they're obviously going to murder each other inside a year'
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do you ever think about how will probably wishes he was braver?
that he could tell mike the truth about himself without having to speak in code. that he could stick to his guns when he's been wronged and stand up for himself rather than tucking tail and turning the other cheek. that he could be less shy, less sensitive, less cowardly, and maybe then his loved ones wouldn't forget about him as often as they do.
maybe then they would pick him first, rather than leaving him for last. maybe then they would want to hang out with him and hear what he has to say. maybe then they would treat him like they used to, like he can still take care of himself just like they can, instead of like a fragile little thing that they pick up only when they need him. maybe then they would care about him as much as he cares about them. maybe then he wouldn't doubt that it could all come crashing down once they know who he really is, and always has been, because the rest of him would've been enough.
like, maybe he wishes he didn't freeze or run away so much. maybe he wishes he wasn't so afraid all the time, of every little thing. that he could be brave like mike, el, or his mom. i mean, el's been through so much, too. why can't he be more like her? why does he have to hide behind her? he hides behind her when the monsters come crawling back, and he hides behind her when he can't bring himself to say what he really means—even after getting on her case about it.
he spent so much time on that painting. he didn't let anyone see it—it was that special to him. why couldn't he own up to that? there's no monster in the van with him; it's just him and mike and this painting of the party, nothing inherently incriminating or romantic, and still—he can't help himself. he retreats back into the shadow, shrinks into himself, and tells lie after lie to the person that he never lies to, that he knows doesn't fucking deserve that, just because he's too scared.
of course he'd feel like a mistake sometimes. of course he'd hate who he is (if That script is to be believed), when he can't even talk to the one person that would understand without lying straight to his face, over and over again, like a fucking hypocrite. of course he'd feel so lost without the person that tells him it's okay to be this way and shows him that there is indeed strength in it. of course he'd hate who he is when he's encouraging someone to be true and speaking about their courage, all while being incapable of taking his own advice, and giving the credit for all of his love and efforts and emotions to someone else.
so many people died to bring him back, so many people died just because he didn't stay dead when maybe he should have, and for what? so that he can continue to hide rather than live his life? so that he can turn into a "worse" version of himself? so that he can live in fear? so that he can continue to ache for a past that he can never return to, while everyone else moves forward and berates him for not doing the same? time stopped in the upside down when will went missing, and he's been stuck there ever since, too. too much has happened for him to move on from. too much has changed—he's changed. he's too different now, in every way, and the older he gets the more clear it becomes.
of course he'd feel like a mistake. of course he'd hate who he is. he's the common denominator here: in his loneliness and in this war. the boy who came back to life when others didn't. the boy that got possessed and couldn't fight it. the boy that turned into a liar and a coward and must learn to live with it, even if it's at his own expense. the boy that can't let go of the past and whom the past won't let go of either, because even after everything, he's still connected to this great evil that won't let him go. they got it out of him, and yet the tether remains, because of-fucking-course it would.
just—why? why him? why can't anything ever go right with him? why is he always the outlier? i think that overwhelming amount of fear, shame, grief, guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness would wear anyone down, let alone a teenager that never asked for any of it and has experiences so unfathomably unique that the only other people that could have possibly understood are literally dead.
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swifties, you can send me as many antisemitic asks as you want. I’m never going to care what you think. I’m never going to stop hating taylor. you’re always going to be an ignorant piece of shit who kisses the ground a racist walks on and you’ll never not look stupid, racist, and pathetic. she’s never going to see the hate you spew at minorities and think you’re cool. she’s never going to see you, like you, or want to be your friend. you will always be a dollar sign to her, a digit in her checkbook. have the day you deserve.
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