#what therapist

[cyancees]

i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing

#adhd #doodles #show this to your therapist instead of failing to explain it like i did #me: its like i cant control my thoughts like i was trying to think of something earlier today but #all i could think of was this giraffe eating leaves and no matter how hard i tried to focus the thought would just. replay #my therapist: what happens if you try to let the thought just play out #me: ........ i dont know but i dont want it to be there at all when im trying to do simple addition in a maths exam #10k #100k

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[chloesimaginationthings]

NEVER ask FNAF Vanny about her past…

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #fnaf vanessa #fnaf vanny #mike schmidt #fnaf gregory #glitchtrap #fnaf #fnaf movie #security breach #fnaf help wanted #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #it’s so funny we all look over the fact Vanny has definitely killed people #like in canon and everything #and just has a ton of dead therapists #don’t be Vanny’s therapist!! you’ll never return 🙏🏾 #Gregory had no problem of being blunt BAHA #siblings moment 🩵 #and glitchtrap laughing too they gangin up on her #glitchtrap acting like he didn’t play a huge part in that smh #same with Gregory dudes just throwing her under the bus #we know what you did too Gregory

[animatedtext]

#gif #transparent #animatedtext #wordart #what if your therapist and my therapist compared notes

[overlymetaromantic]

*slaps Loid like I’m a salesperson showing off a new car*: you can pack so much anxiety into this one man

#spy x family #loid forger #anya forger #sxf #spy family #loid x yor #yor x loid #twiyor #it's there if you read the text lol #twilight #if you do actually read the text please know I am very impressed #poor loid man he's in the one industry where his constant paranoia is actually justified #I'd say he should see a therapist but considering he's currently impersonating one I don't think it'd actually help #I haven't made multiple fanarts in a row in eons what is this 2017 #let's pretend I can draw

[thedisablednaturalist]

I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.

And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.

But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.

Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.

So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.

Respect our rest.

#wrenfea.exe #DISCLAIMER: dont take this as me saying you should be pushing your mentally ill friends #this is more about how physical conditions often differ in how they are treated #also dont like. force your friends or anyone with anxiety to do things they dont want to #thats what therapists are for #also most mental illnesses require medication alongside therapy before they can get better #but even chronic illnesses and disabilities that benefit from exercise still require knowing your limits #and not being pressured to push past them #ive noticed some professionals who help both mentally and physically ill patients tend towards the push method #like my therapist and sometimes my counselors fall back on that method #and i have to remind them i am already pushing myself #and i need to adapt rather than push forward #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #chronic illness #cripple punk #cripplepunk #cpunk

[catmanbowser]

What zoro?

#damian wayne #duke thomas #dc #catman's art #hi finally got a therapist <3 oky bye <3 #peace and love #sleep schedule is still fucked but what’s new!!! #so have damian doodles #idk i just wanna draw damian like in college or idk..

[ekat-fandom-blog]

Batman acts as a secondary parent mentor to all the young justice members, so when a mentorless Dani Phantom joins it was only natural that he tried to be a parent mentor to her as well.

Because she's never had a parental mentor figure, Dani's very confused about what Batman's doing.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp prompt #Dani being like “What do you mean you all go to him when you have a problem?” #“he's not a counselor or anything.” #“What do you mean you feel most comfortable going to him when there's a problem? Black Canary's a therapist? Isn't that her job?” #“also he's a weirdo that dresses like a knock-off count dracula”

[slfcare]

dealing with embarrassment is not about erasing the moment, but rewriting its impact. consciously decide to not care as if it's really that easy and after enough practice, you'll find that it actually will be.

#i just passed out when i was with my physical therapist #he's an intern so he didn't know what to do #woke up to like 8 doctors hanging over me!!! #i cannot stop thinking about it #i'm so embarrassed #this is for us easily embarrassed people #comfort kindness family #learning to be a social being #mental health #positivity #positive

[apollos-boyfriend]

pac canonizing that his character lost a leg bc cellbit ate it in prison makes everything so much funnier. which is saying a lot because the concept of becoming a co-parent with the serial killer that tried to kill you and your friends when you were in prison and later went on to reform his life so you guys could play hide-and-seek together is already hilarious. but now on top of all that that guy also ate your fucking leg off?? insane. peak comedy. nothing will ever top this.

#icarus speaks #what fucking therapist did cellbit go to #because we NEED a bitch like that on the island

[writer-room]

Its so funny that Arin and Sora have shown to have significantly better emotional intelligence than any of the ninja from all of the old seasons combined. "You should be taking care of your mental health" and "yeah saving the world is upsetting! no wonder you're having stress dreams" oh my precious children. You are surrounded by a teen dad with massive self-worth issues, the only one of two people who remembers the genie incident and also turned into the sea once, guy who's died like 3+ times and committed genocide under mind control, and a child soldier who's been living the hard knock life since age 2.

I hope to god you two are prepared to witness the most mentally unwell behavior you've seen in your entire teenage lives. You think you've already seen how bad it can get now? Fools. Just wait until you get a mission involving the Departed Realm

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #lego ninjago #arin #sora #ninjago ninja #text post #departed realm #i wouldnt say 'prepare to become the team therapist' because lets be frank #its not even a matter of 'they wouldnt make the kids their therapists' #its literally just bc they would literally never get to that point #because that implies talking about their problems. like an normal person #what do you mean that random fits of rage or fcking off into oblivion from time to time isnt healthy #this is how i cope! this is a perfectly reasonable way to cope #arin and sora are watching the most mentally ill people alive fray at the seams before their eyes #theyre like the monkey side-eye meme warily looking at each other like are #are they good??? are they good..... #then they hit the departed realm and suddenly all that morro & ghost cole trauma FLOODS back #and theyre just like OH THEY ARE NOT GOOD

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

all the rise boys get done dirty on characterization by fandom in different ways i think. (not ALL the time every fanwork etc etc these are just like, trends i tend to notice?) every fandom suffers from losing character nuance.

- leo i’ve talked about plenty on this blog, how some of his canon traits (genuine belief in his skill and cockiness, capacity for joy, his manipulativeness whether for good or ill) seem to get watered down or wiped off the board and supplemented with generic sad boy. his struggles with purpose and identity and not wanting to fail somehow morph into “he hates and completely holds no value for himself”

- donnie’s canon personality gets blurred out and largely replaced with whatever list of Neurodivergent Traits. and i think there’s such a fine line to walk between exploring a character that’s been word of god confirmed as on the spectrum and overwriting what’s canonically there. it’s a hard needle to thread. it also feels like a lot of his canon emotiveness gets left off the table for some reason. bc he does have his moments of flat/deadpan delivery, but a lot of the time he’s honestly very emotive. he has the passion of a theatre kid and the vindictiveness of... also a theatre kid. and the mind of a scientist.

- raph loses so much of his rowdy teen boy energy it’s kind of wild? like interpretations sand off that he’s also impulsive and can be reckless and dumb and LOVES fighting and roughhousing and isn’t the most eloquent person. suddenly there’s this pitch perfect soft boy big bro who would never hurt a fly and always says the exact right supportive thing and singlehandedly raised his 3 brothers (which simultaneously sands off all the nuance of splinter’s issues emotionally connecting with his sons and how that affected all of them). and like i LOVE raph, he’s so full of love and care and anxiety, he clearly has learned to put a lot of work into being aware of his strength and size. but there’s a difference you know?

- mikey is like. where raph gets overparentified by fanon, mikey gets over “family therapist”-ed IMO. the impulsiveness, the goofiness, the powerful emotions including a VERY powerful temper, the flat-out dumb teen boy choices... they get ignored. suddenly there’s this only very sweet and earnest boy who has read a hundred psychology books and runs group family therapy weekly or something. he is crying in his room bc leo and raph are arguing about something. which is so. he IS very sweet and can be very earnest and is full of love! he HAS come in with his opinions and unsolicited advice a couple of times and life coached for the greater good. but there’s a difference between what he does in canon and the role he gets in fanon.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #idk this is not a very eloquent rundown its very hard to explain exactly my vibe #ig the long story short is i feel like a lot of their most interesting and fun qualities get left in the dust #mikey as family therapist is getting under my skin the most rn i think its just so. #for as much as it seems like his brothers try to shelter him (esp raph with his overprotectiveness)..... i just dont see it #i dont see his brothers and definitely not his dad putting their issues on him like that... #him dragging donnie into that one dr feelings session and dragging draxum into a new moral alignment were different #than 'yeah everyone tells mikey their stuff and he has to do the labor of helping with it' #like it just doesnt vibe for me #i think he is very emotionally OPEN on all levels compared to his family #i think he is more likely to share when HE struggles #i dont think raph or leo is sitting with him at 3am like 'it all started when i was 4 and accidentally broke a plate' or what have you idk #it's all so ymmv i do just scroll past stuff i dont vibe with i dont drop hate on it i just #idk dudes its so hard to see the appeal in some of the choices made

[babycharmander]

Weird folks: Vent art of any form is good and all but it should ONLY be between you and your therapist. Don’t share that stuff online or publish it!!!

Me, an artist/writer: *goes to therapy, talks about my trauma and mental health and how sometimes it’s hard to talk about it with others*

Therapist: Have you thought about using your art and writing to help you work through these things and share them with others?

#writing #I don’t know what to tell you man #when you go to therapy—at least in my experience—your therapist will tell you to share your art with others #obviously tagging and whatnot is important #but sharing vent works is healthy #you don’t have to always share it but it can be a very good thing #my therapist regularly asks me about my art/writing #I even brought this up to her—the fact that I see people claiming you should never post vent works #and she was BAFFLED #also like… man if I didn’t post vent fics #most of my fics would not exist

[brehaaorgana]

i ended up finding a therapist's guide to a CBT treatment program for clients with adult adhd. and in addition to clearly stating the primary treatment for adhd itself is generally medication, they also have session number #1 built around and literally ending with this practice to start:

- Create an organizational system with a calendar and a task list. - Put all appointments on the calendar and start ONE master task list.

hahah

#adhd planners #i need a general adhd tag help what it should it be #the guide even tells the therapist they should SET THE AGENDA for every session as part of this #adhd blogging

[deafening-radio-silence]

I think that Dr. Christina "I was an excellent soldier" Raynor needs to deal with some personal things before she's anyone's therapist, because she strong-armed more of Bucky's autonomy away from him than Zemo did within the series.

#yeah man make amends for the shit that happened when you didn't even have control over your own thoughts #so she was giving him a way to “fix things” but that wasn't on him to do so #all she did was doubly reinforce what he already thinks - which is a justified but false and guilt-laden perception - about the situation #idk much about therapy but i don't think that they're sposed to do that. correct me if i'm wrong and then i'll go fight all therapists #bucky barnes #tfaws #alpine #my art #thank you for putting up with my drawings of a comic book character and his asshole cat lol #i had to put my dog down recently in a bad way and i can't rightfully get another house dog with my current work schedule #so i got a cat since they can handle being inside for the day and the shelter lady said she's super antisocial towards other cats #she's super antisocial towards me sometimes too but she sleeps on me at night and my house has never been cleaner #now that i have to vacuum cat fur and mind what i leave lying on the counter #i've never liked cats before but she's special i guess idk ain't everyone's cat special lol #anyway i'll stop using my tumblr blog as a blog now lol

[tei-to-tei]

December 16 - Mischievous Activities

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 16 | ...

#rottmnt #rise fanart #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #rise mikey #turtle tots #one could argue that mikey knows exactly what he's doing here #and just feigning ignorance #but... he's jus a wittle baby #so yeah #not cannon or even well-drawn at all i'm just feeling meh #hope everyone else is doing okay <3 #trying to spend more time writing this weekend instead of drawing and playing family therapist but... *shrugs* #it's a hard knock life #teidoodle #tei's dec23