#what type of job should i go for

[dj-wayback]

[PRIVATE BROADCAST: 1 Anonymous participant (BC, NS)]

BC: With all the talk about your work on finding the solution NS, I would want to ask-

BC: What research do you conduct? What recent iterations have you completed?

BC: I seem to find another that still has not given up on the problem. I am one of those too.

BC: Personally, I specialize more in simulations. How about you?

I’ve always tried to partake in a little bit of everything. I create programs, run simulations…and yet, my main area of expertise have always been calculations. Not objective, tangible ones, no—theoretical. Math that exists in a hypothetical state. While it might sound…paradoxical, I suppose, considering my stance on such subjects, calculating the statistical possibilities of certain events happening has always been my biggest focus.

…I understand that might not be fully getting the point across. Now, allow me to try and reimagine this in clearer terms: my research centers around alternate universes. Around their possible existence, of course, along with if it is plausible to somehow travel to said universes; along with the nature of the Cycle—if it is, perhaps, a pocket dimension of its own, duplicating in on itself, and particularly if it even exists as a concept in other universes. If it doesn’t, perhaps that might’ve been the Answer this whole time—if, somehow, there was a feasible way to transmit oneself to a universe such as that…well. That would’ve been it.

...But, as you can clearly see, I am still just standing here, unable to provide you with a proper answer—despite all my time and effort, as much as I loathe to admit it, my research has been rather futile. It has lead me nowhere—universes, the Cycle…it’s just dead-end after dead-end. Perhaps it is because I’ve never been one for entertaining pointless mind exercises such as these, but once upon a time even I had some hope for a project like this to—

…

Apologies. I shouldn’t bring my own personal feelings into this, even if the lack of concrete results is very frustrating. However, has left me no choice but to continue my endeavors, no matter how tired of this back-and-forth I’ve become.

#diversity win! the overworked bitch of an iterator is a disillusioned quantum physicist who doesn’t even enjoy their job anymore #anyway. hopefully most of this makes sense but if it doesn’t Pls pretend it does. it is 1am and also i am not smart #my understanding of quantum multiverse type shit hinges on undertale fanfiction and spiderverse #junji ito was right btw artists should go to sleep so they can get good ideas #it’s just so good to me. a character constantly haunted by what-ifs and hypotheticals and what-could-have-beens #being forced to center his work around these concepts. but it never lead him anywhere #it never saved him #(closes my eyes forever) #needless separation is here

[roguemonsterfucker]

Sorry to talk about it again but I'm just still flabbergasted by the whole plagiarism thing

Like... When watching hbomb's video the first time and seeing him point out the rewording of stuff to change it *just* enough to (hopefully) not get caught stealing... I flashed back to my college days of when I did exactly that. 😅

There was a limit on how many actual quotes I could use, so I got around that by literally looking at my sources and rewording it enough to get past the plagiarism checker (TurnItIn.com my belothed) without losing the meaning of the text that I honestly didn't fully understand because I was writing on topics I had no real knowledge of myself.

BUT BUT BUT

I still cited my fucking sources.

Yes, I was using other people's words so I could get through the hell that was college, but if you read my stuff, you'd know exactly where I got it from. I never claimed credit for all the ideas.

And... again... I was just doing it to survive. I wasn't making money. I didn't even end up actually graduating, so it didn't even help me academically.

Somerton on the other hand not only rarely *if ever* credited the people whose words he stole, he was doing it for money, while also putting down fellow queer creators. He *wanted* full credit for all the ideas in his videos. To cite his sources would be to pass the credit on to others. And he couldn't do that.

Edited to add: It's probably a bit extreme to say I "stole" anything for my papers. Like I said, I cited my sources. I just paraphrased what I could when needed, probably to a degree that was questionable at worst. I just have anxiety and feel like "OH NO I"M A TERRIBLE PLAGIARIST."

#should i be admitting to kinda sorta plagiarizing a few college essays? #probably not #but again: i didn't graduate #what are they gonna do? take away my nonexistent degree? #i was literally only taking online college classes to avoid being kicked out of my parents' house #at the time my options were get a job or go to college #and i couldn't get a job because of my disabilities #and honestly i only even did this on *a few* papers #because most of the time i actually was very interested in the subject matter and enjoyed writing my own perspective #it was literally only a few subjects i was forced to write on that my brain couldn't comprehend at all #i didn't like doing it #i wanted to write about things i understood or enjoyed learning about #but some of my required classes... uh... sucked #as did the teachers =/ #i was not suited for that type of situation #but i did learn a lot in a few classes that i think helped me become a better writer #overall though college was a waste of time and money and i ended up having a mental breakdown when i was only one class away from graduatin #literally *one* more class and I'd have a degree #but my brain noped out and so here i am ten years later with nothing #a degree wouldn't have helped me though #i still wouldn't be able to get a job because of my disabilities

[samuraisharkie]

ok I genuinely think @is-the-owl-video-cute has gone off the deep end. what makes you act like that on the internet for real. I don’t even have a real stock in this bullshit drama but they are just the most reactionary asshole to people? how can y’all look up to them they are genuinely so immature and pissy. they’ve been throwing a fit over users they personally dislike and using absolutely no proof at all to say they doxxed ppl. there’s like zero proof other than they don’t like them LMAO. can y’all log the fuck off please?? before someone actually gets hurt??

#is-the-owl-video-cute #yeah I’m tagging actually I hope ppl searching for drama see this and get a reality check #I saw that archived link what the actual fucking shit in hell were they thinking typing that? #they arent fucking animal murderers. they don't like the way scout handles their media presence or their farm #but that doesn’t mean they doxxed them and there is zero evidence to suggest as much. they’ve said they didn’t so like. nothing to go on.💀 #(frankly also. scout and owlvid should be able to handle criticism and disagreements like normal fucking people #instead of flying off the handle literally every single time. like it’s a pattern) #I think both of them should just log off until they learn to handle this shit in a normal way #and without encouraging their impressionable followers to go on witch-hunts after ppl. #especially bc they don’t like it when it happens to them?? yet they say NOTHING when their followers start harassing ppl?? telling lol #I can’t stand it. y’all aren’t educators and you will never be the end all be all of every opinion you have. stop assuming such. #owlvid has had wildly inaccurate ‘facts’ about rabbits before but acting like they KNOW this shit is infuriating. #I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that every ‘is the x animal cute’ blog has gone to shit and up a creek though #just particularly disappointed in owlvid and scout for the way they’ve handled this #while KNOWING the amount of followers that would swallow their boots all the way their their head if they could #like. cmon. you can say you don’t know enough abt this subject to comment. it’s ok. #and I think scout should be able to handle and address criticisms abt their cows without losing it every single time like #I’ve never met a good farmer that can’t handle criticism for their animals. it’s part of the job you won’t please everyone #and if you are planning on being an educator you have to be able to handle those criticisms with a level head and understanding. #that’s not what owlvid OR scout do. they are influencers on a power trip. #if you want respect you have to give it. not one of the dreaded rabbit people have been disrespectful about their criticism. #it is not so the other way around and that’s telling as hell #the only time I’ve seen these apparently evil sadistic rabbit bloggers make sardonic or disrespectful (I guess?) comments is on their own #and when they’re frustrated about being labeled like they kick puppies for fun for being a fucking normal ass farmer lol #you’d think maybe scout would be able to get that. maybe not so much owlvid bc they don’t seem to understand rural animal care #for the record I’m not looking at any of these blogs involved with scrutinizing detail bc I have better things to do #but I have kept an eye on the situation w scout and animal control being called and how it got twisted into ‘doxxing and swatting’ #by high strung ppl who should not have been online #I value my blood pressure too much the urge to just turn off my phone overcomes any desire to look through the drama

[disdaidal]

So I think I'm finally getting a contract and I'm going to start my new studies (as a youth/school counselor) in my old school. I met the principal today and had a talk with him, and he said he was pleased to see me there and would like to have me there because I already know my way around and seemed to manage things just fine when I was still their student. So, that's great, I'm finally getting somewhere.

But I'll have to wait until Friday because he's still not quite sure who's going to be my supervisor, so he's going to have a talk with a couple of staff members about it at first.

And then my teacher in my new school is already pressing me with contract matters and stuff, wanting me to start earlier than I had originally planned or at least get the contract done by then, so uhh. I'm going to have a Teams meeting with her on Friday at 8 o'clock in the morning (I'm not a morning person at all), and I'm sure we're going to have such a lovely discussion about my schedule and study plans and all that stuff.

All this phone-calling and paperwork is giving me a headache. And I still have some school assignments to do and to return before next week, and guess what - ya girl just wants to read and write fanfiction all day and all night. 🤪 Priorities, I has them.

#personal #no seriously i went to bed around 4am because i was writing a fic. and then i got up at 8:30 after snoozing the clock for an hour #because i had the appointment with the principal around 10am so #but anyway despite my poor sleeping schedule i am actually happy about this opportunity #i should be able to work in the evenings if they can just find me a supervisor. which would be super because then i'm not going to have to #wake up early. unless i get a side job because i need money and this is only training so i don't get paid for it. but remains to be seen #i am not feeling awfully energized for school/work combination right now so uhh #but then i'd also get to work as a special needs assistant because this school has a lot of special needs students #so that sounds pretty good actually. it was something i was also thinking about doing before #because i was kind of a special needs student myself when i was younger and i didn't get the help i needed so #helping others with that could be great. a great opportunity indeed #and i may have to help with this other type of class as well #i think they're calling it preparatory education for vocational training in english. i'm not 100% sure what it even means #but well if i get a chance then perhaps i'll find outl #so all in it sounds like they have need for me and i get to do a lot of different stuff so. it should be good #it's. just this. studying itself. and like i said. all this paperwork and making phone calls and stuff. it's stressing me out #so uh #let's just hope that friday makes me a little bit wiser

[cakemoney]

i don't want to put my uninformed foot in my mouth or get involved with the Discourse but i've been seeing the two extremes of reactions to the korean low birth rates issue (on tumblr and twitter both) and i'm just kind of like. look. i feel like "low birth rates (in many countries but especially japan and korea as part of this conversation) are more broadly the result of capitalism/a culture of overwhelming overwork that makes social relationships and having families incredibly inaccessible to young people" and "low birth rates are very much a part of the current conversation about misogyny and social expectations for women in korea especially in the context of reproduction as 'unpaid labor' for women" are statements that can both be true

#laughs awkwardly #gender #especially considering the ways patriarchal expectations and capitalism very much intersect in terms of quality of life for women #ex. women being expected to have kids / raise kids / do all the housework and cooking in a relationship #while ALSO existing in a society where women (even married women) have to work demanding jobs to deal with the high cost of living #AND women are systemically discriminated against in terms of pay / job availability / work environment and harassment #all of these things add up. these conversations are not opposing points of view. you know? #and also like. not super comfortable with how TERFs are discussed in terms of non-white cultures #TERFism / radfems as a MOVEMENT (and a cult) is very much rooted in white supremacy / ideals of womanhood #again. multiple things can be true at the same time. yes i do see (from my perspective involved in taiwanese social media) #some east asian feminists engage in transphobia in ways that approach radfem rhetoric ('women are victims of men' 'men are predators' #type generalized sentiments which you can imagine gains a lot of traction among women traumatized by patriarchy) #but movement-wise i don't think it's fair (or just in good faith) to generalize radical feminists from non-white countries #to straight up TERFs. which again. rooted in white supremacy. keep feeling like i have to remind people it doesn't make sense #for asians to be white supremacists and that not all oppression on earth stems directly from white people. you weirdos #'what are you talking about' in east asia the type of feminist statements called 'radical' are stuff like. #women shouldn't have to wear make up every time they go outside. women shouldn't be expected to do all housework. #should men pay for women on dates. debates that i think in the states we kind of take for granted as stuff settled years ago #even if some feminists might be transphobic it's not necessarily Transphobia As Core Tenets Of The Movement. does anyone get the difference #basically what i'm saying is. wow these tags got long. maybe let's not apply uniform standards of 'correct language and values' #to non-white people and attack them when as all movements they are fluid and influenced by the people living in it #TERF-style transphobia is not the predestined course for them. maybe it's more productive to have open discussions about transphobia #to work towards inclusivity and solidarity in these movements than to prescribe White Internet Morality to them #and declare that they're evil when they are still very much having conversations that need to be had. thanks i think that's all #essentially. i find that 'how dare a non-american movement not have morally pristine vocabulary priorities and membership #as determined by white leftists' to be in itself kinda a racist attitude

[devilsskettle]

“horror movies spend less time establishing character” have you only ever seen 2 movies

#a lot of horror movies are character driven #some aren’t but a lot of other genres don’t focus on character either #but like there are some complaints i see about certain movies where people complain that ‘nothing happens’ or whatever #or like the plot is less structured or whatever #and it’s like yeah maybe and sometimes that’s boring but sometimes it’s a fucking character study type thing #so like. what. ladybird is great but american mary isn’t structured enough #or like. may. excision. fucking uhh reanimator i’d say has pretty established characters #saw. what about saw. the whole movie is just two guys stuck in a room talking #the ritual is very character driven. the og film version of hill house #you know i hate orphan but orphan is pretty good at that actually #i would argue that the first 2 friday the 13th movies pretty well establish the personalities and dynamics of the characters #the exorcist. are you telling me that the exorcist doesn’t take its sweet time introducing the characters #establishing a status quo to be disrupted? an established pattern of behavior to deviate from? to say nothing of karras himself #the underlying conflict is all about internal beliefs and decisions this man is thinking about #oh the invisible man 2020 i thought they did a good job of establishing characters and relationships #anyway #i could go on. it’s just like this thing i hear ‘film critics’ (people on the internet who think their opinions are interesting) say #if you’re only watching horror movies where the characters are underdeveloped so you don’t care about them you should watch better movies #same thing with action movies. like sure you want to get to the action but plenty of good action movies have good character writing too #anyway!!

[lonely-dog-song]

vent post

#lonely dog speaks #vent/ #THIS WAS GOING TO BE A vague jokey post but i did end up typing a bunch. sorrey -> #:•\ #not feeling great #i feel like every day i am missing something #but i'm too afraid to actually connect to what that missing thing is #and i realize my anxiety is back n bad #which i'm not really sure if it ever left #i was going to make a joke about being unmedicated but that's noteven true but if i feel this bad then that is probably Not good #and my general fear prevents me from feeling like i can DO Things. like. i can't just Do A Thing #i have to putz around all day to maybe do it a bit. but i can't commit to it in case i get interupted #but the thing is that i also /do/ do things i want to do through the day. but it's nott a lot of things #specifically i want to be drawing. but actually getting to the drawing part is so hard and i end up not drawing #but i think about drawing all day!! #but stepping back. on a much wider scale i realize icant even think about the idea of doing someting like move out or get job #because if i decide to commit to it what if something bad happens and i never get to do it #and everything feels wasted.......... #why dont i sit on my phone and try to have fun instead and not think about that >_> #OH GIRL. I should get a therapy #isnt it so annoying how being aware that your brain is irrational doesn't just make you Think Rationally

[izzy-b-hands]

Just got three more job apps out and on a list for employers to reach out to me if they think I'd be a good fit! (It had a lil essay spot to tell what u can do, what u like to do for work, etc and I think I did well in that spot!)

Got some filming done earlier so now all i need to do is edit that, post it, get the vacuuming done, do some Prolific, and figure out something for Housemate's bday bc Bday is coming up! (which is all I'm saying cuz i know ae will see this post. Not a huge surprise or anything but just A Little Something bc i want to 🫂)

I know im probably gonna drop tomorrow and get nothing done, but for today. For today, I am vaguely productive 🙌!

#text post #that said my legs are still v shaky post filming so i may have slightly overdone that but u know what? idc aksndjfng #my cane has shipped and should be here soon so I'll be fine even if the legs fuss for the next few days #the job apps are going out hard again bc the university isn't getting back to anyone on if they're keeping us employed for the fall or not #so i am Nervous! abt that and want to get ahead of a possible layoff as much as i can #which isn't much really but better than nothing lol #im not really ready for the fatigue drop to hit tomorrow but that's just How It's Been since i had covid this last time #and pretending it isn't happening hasn't been helping so like im not happy abt it but I'll acknowledge it at least aksndjfngj #enough typing tho bc laptop needs opening for posting and prolific!! so i can get to the vacuuming!

[polygondotcomvideoproducer]

Uni lecture is making me think about my future for a minute and auuuggghhhh the agonies

#personal #taking a brief break from it bc the feeling hasnt quite overwhelmed me yet but i dont think I'm going to be okay by the end of it! #its asking me to consider what my strengths are. what kind of role I'd like to have in the industry when i graduate #these are questions that i SHOULD certainly have answers to but they kind of just make me not wanna be alive yk? bc i have no answers #I'm not really good at much. like the things I'm best at I'm still completely unexceptional #what are my strengths? don't have any. next question #what job do i want to have in the industry? well that requires an answer to the first question doesn't it #not to mention it requires me to think about graduating and having a job and I've simply never imagined myself getting that far #and i can only give this so much of my attention span bc I'm also thinking about how hard i failed my modules from last semester #my best grade this year has been a c #one of them is a marginal fail meaning i do the reassessment this year (i think) #the other is a hard f. what does that mean? do i resit the entire course next year? maybe #and i can't look it up just yet bc i need to make it through the lecture bc I'm really far behind this other module already #and it's only week 3 and i have a presentation tomorrow #and if i stop watching it im not convinced I'll bring myself to start watching again! #so instead i was just sitting here trying not to get overwhelmed by all of the things i should be thinking about!!! #that's why I'm making the post tbh. just to organise my thoughts and get it out of my system and give myself time to breathe #and my phone keeps buzzing while i type and if it does that one more time i will launch us both out of the window I'm so fucking done #semester has barely begun and im so fucking overwhelmed already #I've joked about being the token nt mutual before but honestly the past few years I've just been getting gradually more convinced I'm not #this can't be how everyone else is experiencing life. surely #like dude I'm so out of fucking touch w the concept of being a human #so in summary: augh the agonies

[pepprs]

hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol

#purrs #delete later #not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really #comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel #where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it #all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugly #and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fucking #getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest #colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought w #we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight #we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the #participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day a #and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half of #them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we #did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like… i #have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also #HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a #failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as #emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i #failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year #and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jfs #like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE #PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and #we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting #everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid #bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i #get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i #am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done. #ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that #just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol

[mainfaggot]

Being jobless at 19 feels embarrassing

#to be fair up until now i haven't been working bc i was using all my energy to go to uni and pass my classes and go to therapy regularly #im going to get a part time job this summer 🫡 #its hard w depression but ill manage like ill work 15 hours a week and do a summer class and ill be ok #if im not ill just quit the job. sighs #im really really lucky my parents are the classic brown immigrant type that are willing to finance me until i get married 😭 #at the same time they expect me to turn out a certain (very specific) way which is . Um. distressing #idk i should be grateful if theyre paying for everything I'll just take what i can get and try my best to be as mentally stable as i can be #z.post

[terrorbirb]

Manifesting: plz make me actually get a new job once my wife goes on disability

I'm looking at research lab management jobs at universities because our bat lab was not run well (lol) and other labs were not run well, and I can keep an entire small business afloat through overworking myself

#totes bro #i do not have a masters #but what i do have is years of experience purchasing industrial goods selling industrial goods speccing out and designing them #and i can do literally any job in an organization EXCEPT closing the books at the end of the month lol I'm not doing that #but i can do accounts payable and accounts receiable i can arrange logistics i supervise a production team #i used to do sales calls i do all purchasing i unwillingly do business development because my boss asks me what we should do as a company #i schedule I have figured out how to use our ERP system more efficiently than many larger companies with it #and most importantly: i clean things #which no one else ever does #this is me just pumping myself up in 3 months i can leave..... #ill have to move? which im terrified of #i love using my blog for this kind of post because 4 years from now im going to be like “aweeee” #oh i also do engineering and the sales engineer doesnt do engineering so i literally do all engineering outside of product design #while doing everything else #But i dont have a masters degree so we'll see what happens #i also think universities hire from within for this type of thing #but i personally think they should hire me 🥰 #Because university labs are like fish out of water when they try to buy components to enact their ideas #i know because in addition to bat lab i have many university customers who have no idea whats happening or how to submit POs #my lab literally did not know how to send out RFQs? or ask for quotes? people do free engineering for you to sell you stuff #we were an engineering lab and didnt send out RFQs for components we just looked at ehat was available to buy online #??????? i dont know how they survive

[the-casbah-way]

when i wake up after a meltdown im like ok im going to be nice to myself today and then i end up being just as mean to myself in my head as i always am except i’ll also maybe let myself go to bed like an hour earlier as a treat

#i guess saying im going to go easy on myself doesnt mean youre going easy on yourself maybe #everyone is like be nice to yourself after an episode. and im like what does taht actually mean #how do you be nice to yourself #do you just call yourself a good boy in your head every time you manage to stop yourself from jumping out the window #but then like even typing this im like girl get a fucking grip everyone cries until 4am and screams into their pillow #you dont need to fucking give yourself a spa day just because youre depressed get a fucking grip #but then im like i would never think that about someone else let alone say it to them so . #but then im like im different to everyone else i get different treatment because im fucking horrible #but then im like is any of this really that deep maybe i should just go back to bed i cannot be arsed keeping my eyes open anymore #i'll just have some irn bru and NOT beat myself up for doing a bad job with down then left #and then i'll try and stop doing a bad job with down then left and if it doesn't work i will Not spiral over it again #and then if im feeling crazy i will let myself sleep #if youre still reading these tags hey. thanks for reading all this. can i kiss you with tongue