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#what we do the shadows fanfiction
cringengl · 9 months
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Brb I'm going to SOB
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hotpinkboots · 7 months
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vampires can't digest anything other than blood. most of them have probably forgotten what food tastes like.
that's why they lick the sweet flavored chapstick from your lips when they kiss you.
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orchideous-nox · 27 days
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okay but imagine just before a full moon when Remus is all grumpy and short tempered and the other marauders are like "hey, hey! remember, werewolf not swearwolf" and make him put money in a swear jar for the next hogsmead trip
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morgpeko · 8 months
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Hurt/comfort this, enemies to lovers that, NO ONE talk about the joys of crack treated seriously
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nanawritesit · 9 months
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WWDITS Headcanons: You Having the Opposite Aesthetic of Everyone Else at the Vampire Residence (fem!reader)
tw: vampires, blood, corpses, mentions of killing, mentions of virgins, immortality
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you were brought into the house to work as nadja and laszlo’s familiar
after having so many familiars die on the job, they had pretty much lost hope that they would ever find one that was right for them
so when you of all people, with your brightly colored hair, glittery makeup, long nails, and hot pink platform boots, were still around after a few weeks, they knew you were special 💞
of course they had their doubts at first, thinking you were much too soft for the job based on your cute aesthetic, but you surprised them with how tough you were
you had no problem finding them victims, cleaning up blood stains, and disposing of corpses. the promise of eternal life was much too great for you to give up because of some gore
nadja is overjoyed to have another woman in the house, and quickly becomes more of a bestie than a boss (as long as you do all of your duties as a familiar too)
she requires you to attend weekly “girls nights” with her, the guide, and mini nadja, but even if they weren’t mandatory, you’d happily go along
sometimes you’ll get all dressed up and go clubbing, taking everyone’s drinks for them since they can’t ingest human food
you stick out like a sore thumb in your pink sequin mini dress and heels, the rest of them shrouded in black lace, but you have an amazing time regardless. they really know how to party!
but sometimes you just have sleepovers where you watch mamma mia and talk shit about all the men in the house
laszlo didn’t take you seriously at first. he never really saw the appeal of having a familiar, thinking he got along just fine without one, but wanted to please his good lady wife
he could never understand how nandor was so attached to guillermo. he was just some human who followed him around and did his bidding
that was, until you came along
he found it was really nice to have someone to practice his music with, to organize his library for him, to help him into his coffin every night… and after a while he really grew quite fond of you
which scared him, because he knew how fragile human life was
but that only made him want to keep you under his wing more, to protect you until the day him and nadja decided to turn you
they love having you accompany them on their nightly walks, carrying their parasol behind them as they bask in the moonlight
they’re super protective of you, especially from people who assume you’re an easy target because of your looks
like, if anyone tries to mess with you around them, lazslo will yell at them to go fuck off, and nadja will practically go feral and rip their heart out
you’ll have to BEG her not to hurt them for her to even CONSIDER letting them go 💀
nandor pretty much falls in love with you upon first sight
he absolutely adores your style, loving how unique it is compared to anyone else he knows
he tries and fails to flirt with you all the time while you’re working, until nadja eventually yells at him to leave you to your chores, and he’ll scuttle away bc he’s scared of her 😀
he sometimes asks you to do his makeup like yours, saying he wants to “glitter like twilight”
his undead heart stops when you lean close to his face to do his eyeliner 🥺
he desperately wants to ask you out but is terrified of what nadja would do to him should you agree
she thinks you’re MUCH too good for him
he eventually goes to laszlo for help, since he’s such an “expert” on modern women 💀
he agrees to help him, but tells him that if you guys start dating and he hurts you, he’ll kill him 😗
guillermo is honestly just so thrilled to have another human in the house to sympathize with him 😭
the two of you quickly become partners in crime, dragging bodies down the stairs together and recruiting virgins for your vampires to feast on
he also wouldn’t hesitate to slay any vampire who tried to feed on you
you always stick up for him when the vampires aren’t taking him seriously, which helps since they all value your opinion tremendously
nandor gets a bit jealous when he finds out that you and guillermo get lunch together everyday 😭
guillermo admittedly gets a bit jealous when you’re turned into a vampire before he is, but is obviously very happy for you
but since nandor has such a soft spot for you, you’re able to convince him to turn guillermo sooner :) that way you can be a big happy vampire family forever
collin robinson thinks you’re quite entertaining, although he gets frustrated at the fact that you somehow always dodge all of his attempts to drain your energy
when you go out on the town with everyone, you have major scary dog privilege
when you walk by, people see a pretty pink princess 💞
and then they see the three huge, dramatically dressed vampires, one emotionless suited man, and one monster slayer walking behind you and they’re like oh shit nvm 💀
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cottoncandysprite · 1 year
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POV: You're taking the subway back from watching the most fucked up talk show interview you've ever seen
(Read the fic here)
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sharlinefreire · 2 years
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i love my new superwholock.
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mondodisco · 5 months
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Hello dear wwdits fans.
I have a request, a very specific request and please PLEASE satisfy it.
I need angst.
I need so much angst I want to ugly cry on my pillows while screaming and banging my head against the wall.
I love these little characters too much for not wanting to see them suffer.
Know an angsty fic? Share it.
WROTE an angsty fic?? Share it!
You headcanoned something so fucking sad moving and angering that if suffering was an Olympic sport the vampire gang would have a terrible posture because of all the medals they have been carrying around? SAY IT.
I confide in you <3
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flash-bastardd · 5 months
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"I'm sorry, whose funeral?"
"Guillermo's."
"What...? Guillermo...died?"
"Probably a couple decades ago now."
"H-How?"
"Old age I think is what he called it."
Nandor still decides to go into super slumber, too bad it's the biggest mistake of his life.
{Or where vampires greatly overestimate the life expectancy of humans}
I have written pain
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tottallynotanalien · 10 months
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The new Superwholock
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torturedpoetemotions · 2 months
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NOW COMPLETE.
(Little slightly spoilery graphic under the cut)
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indashadows · 8 months
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This is a prompt that the amazing @weakformemo gave on discord after the release of episode 3 of season 5! "Nandor giving Guillermo the sign he made for him while Guillermo dresses him in pride stuff, where is the fic!!!!!!" And I found it so cute I needed to start this little experiment!
I have never wrote a fanfiction before, also English is not my first language, but I was extremely lucky @impossiblyizzy and @kristylime helped me so much with the grammar and everything in general!! Thank you so much to both of you!!!! <3
Also I made art for it because why not :3
I don't think I will ever write a fanfic again, kudos to all the writers, this stuff is HARD
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eldritch-thrumming · 1 year
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i made this silly little post and then just did the thing myself :)
“I would say that Steve is… relatively smart. For a human.”
“Hey!” comes an irritated yell from the other room.
Robin turns to face the doorway, turning away from the camera. “Zip it, human! I’m doing my interviews. I have important things to say. People are very interested.” She turns back toward the camera again, a smile plastered to her face. “Now, what was I saying? Oh right, Steve. He’s… passably intelligent. I mean, he’s no Einstein, that’s for sure. That guy could party.” She laughs.
“Okay, and how long has Steve, uh, been with you guys?” Dustin asks from behind the camera.
“Um, maybe a year, I think?”
“I’ve been Eddie’s familiar for ten years,” Steve grumbles as he comes into the room with a cup of tea, which he holds out for Robin to take. He turns to Dustin and the camera. “It’s really just a matter of time before he turns me.” He rocks back on his heels. “He said literally any day now.”
Robin smiles placidly, nodding at him until he leaves the room.
“Between you and me,” she stage whispers to Dustin, “Eddie is never turning him.”
“Could you explain what a familiar is?” Dustin asks.
“Well… usually a familiar takes care of you, you know, does the cleaning, shopping, finds you victims.”
“Victims?” Will, another one of the producers, asks. He looks a little anxiously toward Lucas, the camera guy, who does his best to ignore it.
“Yeah, like. Food. You know.” Robin takes a sip from her teacup, waving her free hand in some vague gesture. “Nancy and I are partial to virgins.”
“Uh, right. Better watch out, Dustin,” Lucas laughs a little nervously, nudging Dustin with his elbow.
Dustin scowls, but before he can respond, Robin says, “Don’t worry. Nancy’s forbidden us from eating any of you.” She smiles again, like that’s supposed to make them feel any better.
~*~
“Okay, Steve, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?” Dustin asks Steve, who’s fidgeting on the couch.
Steve pulls at his collar as he answers. “Uh, sure. I used to be a kindergarten teacher. I actually really loved it? But then I met Eddie at a bar. Thought he was, uh, pulling my leg, you know, about the whole…” Steve rubs his palms on his thighs. “Vampire thing? Is that what we’re calling it?”
“Yeah, being a vampire. Sure,” Dustin responds.
“Right. Thought he was joking. Thought it was a line, you know. So I… this is kind of embarrassing.” Steve scratches at his cheek. “Well, I went home with him, y’know. You’ve seen him.” He laughs a little nervously. “Anyway, I found out that he actually was not lying, much to my… absolute horror really.”
“And… what made you stay?” Will asks.
“I dunno,” Steve shrugs his shoulders, eyes darting to the side of the camera, like he doesn’t really want to answer the question. “It’s an interesting prospect, isn’t it? Living forever? Being immortal?” He shrugs again.
“So,” Dustin starts, drawing out the ‘o’ sound. “Are you guys, like… more than friends?” Lucas visibly cringes at the phrasing.
Steve laughs, bright and surprised. “Uh, no. No. Just, uh. I’m just his familiar.”
“But you’ve been here ten years?“ The way the question comes out of Will’s mouth makes it sound like he hadn’t really meant to ask it. Dustin cuts him a look, scowling again.
“Yeah,” Steve sighs, looking down at his lap. “Yeah, I have.”
~*~
“Tell us about how you became a vampire,” Dustin says.
Eddie, who’s sitting on the couch in front of the camera, scratches at his neck, just under the collar of his shirt. “Hmm. I was turned in the 80s. Can’t really remember most of it. Was at some concert and some guy offered me some coke or something in the back of his van. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in a field feeling like shit. Thought I’d had a bad trip.” Eddie laughs.
“And have you ever turned anyone?” Will asks.
“No,” Eddie tells them, frowning slightly. “Don’t think I’d even know how.”
“But—“ Will starts, but Lucas digs his elbow into his ribs, cutting off his question.
“What about Steve?” Dustin asks instead.
“What about him?”
“He said he’s been with you ten years. That you’ve promised to turn him any day now.”
Eddie smiles, boyish and sweet. “Well. I say a lot of things. And look at him. Who’d give that up?”
Will and Dustin look at each other. “What do you mean?” It’s Lucas who asks this time.
“A pretty little human who does anything I say based on the abstract promise that I might one day make him a vampire?” Eddie grins.
Next to Dustin, Will lets out a long exhale.
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octoberobserver · 5 months
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We're a Documentary, Not a Fucking Sitcom - WWDITS Fic
(Read on ao3 here)
I read ' 'The power dynamics seem so problematic. I mean, that’s his boss,' and this possessed me. Enjoy! 😉
“I shouldn’t have done that.”
Guillermo blinked his eyes open, the ghost of Nandor’s cold, smooth lips still lingering on his own.
He had just kissed him. Right on the mouth, mid-sentence, on a random Tuesday night, three months after Guillermo became human again.
“I…Mas–Nan…”
The words died in his throat as his brain whirred like a computer with too many tabs open.
“I am your boss,” Nandor continued as if he had not heard him, beginning to pace the length of the Fancy Room. “You are my employee. It is frowned upon…problematic.”
That snapped Guillermo out of his stupor, frowning as he tried to make sense of his rambling.
“Okay, first of all, employees get paid. If anything, I was an unpaid labourer,” he held up his hand to stop himself from tracing his lips with the pad of his thumb.
“Second of all, you’re not my boss anymore anyway. I’m just your human roommate now, remember? I have a new job teaching self-defense down at the YMCA. I’m not your familiar. We’re equals. We made the deal that I would stay in this house once none of you treated me like shit anymore and you got a new familiar. You’re just too stubborn to let me help you pick a replacement.”
That stopped the vampire in his tracks, a petulant pout on his handsome face.
“That’s because they are all terrible, Guillermo! Francine didn’t know how I like my hair combed, and Jason did not do my buttons up correctly!”
“You didn’t give them a chance to learn!”
“You picked it up right away!”
“Well, not everyone can be me!”
“I know! That’s the problem!”
Somehow they had closed the distance between them and were right back where they started moments ago, mere inches from each other. Naturally, Guillermo’s eyes fell on those pale, alluring lips, but he dragged them back up to a safe spot, focussing on the crinkle between Nandor’s eyebrows from where his head was bent downwards.
“Third of all,” he forced out, his breath no doubt bouncing off his chin. “‘Problematic?’ Seriously? You brutally killed innocent people that I lured here every single week for the last thirteen years. And you’re worried about us having a…a ‘workplace kiss’ being problematic?”
Look. It wasn’t like it had never crossed his mind. Both kissing Nandor and the very morally bankrupt decision to feed random humans to a group of bloodthirsty vampires every week for his entire adult life. But ever since he was faced with directly killing an innocent person so he could live and being unable to do it, he was questioning himself and his choices more and more lately.
(The whole wanting to kiss his former Master thing was a constant, ongoing thing. And definitely not a recent development. But that was his business.)
“Well,” Nandor waved a hand, undeterred. “Darla said it is frowned upon.”
Guillermo squinted up at him.
“And who is Darla?”
“My spotter at the gym. She’s a grandma looking to strengthen her pelvic floor.”
“Ew, what—? No. Doesn’t matter,” he winced. “So, what would Darla think about you kissing someone ten seconds after they tell you they’re going on a date? Is that not ‘problematic?’”
Nandor scrunched up his nose.
“Well, it just happened, so how would I have time to tell—”
“Mierda,” he muttered under his breath, staring up at the ceiling for a God he couldn’t believe in anymore.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you, Guillermo. I am sorry,” Nandor said in the ‘I’m trying to be diplomatic but am being a giant baby about it’ voice that he found hard to truly hate. “I just…thought that you had sworn off dating?”
A disbelieving laugh escaped his chest.
“So, what, you thought you’d kiss me in…protest?”
Something warm was fluttering around his abdomen as his heart beat what felt like a million times a second, his brain very unhelpfully replaying the kiss over and over in his head.
Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it, stop—
“I’m just confused,” Nandor was shrugging when he forced himself to focus. “You seemed uninterested in dating, and now you come in here and tell me not to wait up because you’re going out with some fucking gu—”
“And why is it you think I’d be uninterested in dating, Nandor? Would it be ‘cause the last boyfriend I had, you fucking cloned for yourself, and then sent him away so he could meet up with Freddie and have him cheat on me with himself?!”
The words echoed throughout the large room.
Nandor looked just like he did when he'd been slapped.
“Guiller—”
“No. Let’s talk about it,” he cut him off, shooting a glance at the nearest camera before glaring up at him. “I’m so sick, of never talking about things in this house. Just letting them revert back to the status quo. We’re a documentary, not a fucking sitcom,” he huffed, pointing a finger in his face, still standing so close he almost poked him.
“You turned your wife into my boyfriend, and that was really fucked up. You know, something actually ‘problematic.’”
He added extra sarcasm and generous bunny ears around the word, scorn and hurt rising within him from where it had laid dormant for over a year.
“You destroyed Marwa, and then my relationship, and you’ve never once taken responsibility for it. Or anything else you’ve ever done. So if you wanna talk about what’s ‘problematic,’ let’s start—”
“I changed her back.”
Guillermo froze.
“What?”
Nandor was busy staring at the red couch, murmuring so quietly that he almost didn’t hear him.
“I said I changed her back. I used my remaining wishes to…undo it all. Give her the life she deserves…without me. She’s in Washington now. Has gone back to school, last I heard.”
His heart skipped a beat as he digested that.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Well,” Nandor scoffed, stepping even closer, gaze locked back on him. “I might have if you hadn’t been so busy conspiring with Laszlo because you went behind my back and got Derek to turn you INTO A VAMPIRE. DEREK! FUCKING GUY.”
Guillermo’s blood began to boil, spilling like molten lava in his veins.
“Because YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO!” he exploded. “After YEARS of putting up with all of your shit, I had enough of waiting!”
Nandor’s jaw clenched.
“I was going to turn you, even though I wasn’t sure if it was right for you, but you abandoned me for London!”
“Laszlo locked me in a coffin and shipped me to London like a giant FedEx package! I had literally zero control over that!” Guillermo shot back.
“Well,” Nandor cast his eyes around the room for an answer and grinned humorlessly when he found one. “You didn’t look for me.”
Oh, hell no.
“Yes, I did! But I had no way of contacting you,” Guillermo spat. “I had Nadja reach out through the ether and said she couldn’t find you, that you were blocking her somehow. So, yeah. It wasn’t like you were looking for me, either!”
His chest was heaving like an overwhelmed Victorian maiden whilst Nandor was as still as a statue, but he didn’t care.
Finally. Finally he was airing his grievances. After all this time. Years and years of pent-up anger and hurt and resentment, they were finally talking about it all. And God, it felt amaz—
“I was mad at you when you didn’t meet me on that platform…you broke my heart.”
Those words turned his molten blood to ice.
But that didn’t stop his own words from tumbling out of his mouth anyway.
“Yeah, well. You broke mine first.”
Their eyes met.
Silence engulfed the room.
“That’s a lot of information to get in thirty seconds.”
His head whirled around to find Colin Robinson staring at them from the doorway.
“This is a private conversation, Colin Robinson,” Nandor replied, his gaze still burning a hole into Guillermo. “Leave. Now.”
“Right. Private,” Colin retorted with his usual deadpan tone, gesturing to the cameras. “Whatever. Just fuck already. It’s faster. Especially the way Nandor does it.”
They listened to his retreating steps for a beat, Nandor cursing him under his breath.
“Did he quote Friends?” Guillermo gaped after him, realising it was in vain when he remembered who he was asking, though he could swear he saw one of the camera crew quietly nodding.
“Do not change the subject, Guillermo,” Nandor drew him back in, his dark gaze unwavering. “What did you mean when you said I broke your heart first?”
They don’t call him ‘The Relentless’ for nothin’.
“Come on,” he cleared his throat, his heart firmly lodged there as he tried to step around him. “We don’t have to do this. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Yes, it does, and yes, we do,” his hand shot out inhumanly fast and held him in place by the wrist, firmly but not something he couldn’t break from. “You wanted to talk, so talk. Please.”
What were you saying about pent-up feelings, again?
“You,” he took a shaky breath, forcing himself to stand his ground. “You…have to know how I…how I’ve felt all these years. I know you’re not that dumb.”
Nandor’s lips parted, but Guillermo kept going, words flowing from him like a burst dam.
“Every cruel word, every dismissal, every time you rebuffed my hugs or compliments or belittled me or my accomplishments…it was death by a thousand cuts. Because I fuckin’ loved you anyway.”
A bitter laugh escaped him as tears stung his eyes.
“Huh. Now that’s problematic.”
The silence was deafening.
Nandor had yet to move an inch, not even to blink.
Well, you’ve done in now, de la Cruz. And even managed to reference a Taylor Swift song. Bravo.
Seconds ticked into nearly a minute, and Guillermo was really starting to get freaked ou—
“‘Loved…’” came a raspy voice, barely above a whisper. “...as in past tense?”
He stared at the hand that was still clasping his wrist, right over his hummingbird pulse point and thought, fuck it.
“Love. I love you, Nandor. I always have. And I meant it when I said I was gonna be right here by your side. Even…even if it’s just as your friend and roommate. Because that’s what love means.”
He had done a lot of brave things in his life. Had taken on and killed dozens of vampires, faced witches, zombies and werewolves without batting an eye, and had emo bangs way past 2012, but Guillermo de la Cruz had never felt true bravery until this exact moment.
He watched as Nandor’s face crumpled like creepy paper, his eyes squeezing shut as he took in a deep breath he didn’t need and mumbled to himself.
“Floating through the cold, dark universe like a little grain of furry sand.”
“...what?”
Those large, dark eyes that he loved so much popped open, and he almost gasped at their intensity.
“I…I once thought I was completely alone in this world, Guillermo. Without someone to love or love me. But I’m realising now that that hasn’t been true for a long time, has it?”
Guillermo swallowed the lump in his throat.
He shook his head.
Slowly, a small smile spread on Nandor’s face, his thumb brushing against the thin skin of his wrist.
“And it hasn’t for you either, you know.”
Guillermo felt his brow furrow.
“Wha—”
Cold, soft lips covered his for the second time that night. Heart hammering against his ribcage, he hurried to kiss back this time, leaning up on his tip-toes and gently trailing his tongue along Nandor’s bottom lip.
The kiss deepened as he opened his mouth, the corner of one of his fangs brushing against Guillermo’s tongue and sending a thrill through his entire body. They gripped each other, on the edge of frantic.
“That is why I kissed you, Guillermo,” Nandor murmured, leaning back to press his face into his jaw, peppering little pecks there. “I love you too. But I was too dumb to acknowledge it. Until I thought I was losing you again.”
Shock flowed through Guillermo at both confessions, gripping the back of his neck to pull him further down into him, arousal sparking in his gut as a large hand clutched his hip and pulled them flush together, covering his mouth with his carefully but passionately.
Over six feet of solid muscle draped over him like an awning, and he had never felt more in tune with his own body before, letting himself get lost in the sensation.
Dios mio.
After a few seconds, minutes, or several years, his heart squeezed on the bridge of pain, his head spinning a little, his lips growing numb.
Breaking for air, he gasped, reminding both Nandor and himself, “B-Breathe, I-I need to breathe.”
Smiling apologetically, Nandor’s giant hand cupped his cheek, gaze boring into him.
“I know I’m not your boss anymore, Guillermo. But I would still like it very much if…if you kept your post as my heartguard.”
Now he was breathless for a whole different reason.
Beaming, his eyes stinging again, he brought his hand up and linked their fingers.
“Okay. Only if you’re mine too, though.”
“Deal.”
“Deal.”
Somewhere in the depths of the house, they heard Nadja let out a loud gag, followed quickly by, “Give it to him, good, Gizmo, and shut up already!”
Face on fire, he turned to him, leaning back in.
They still had a million and one things to talk about and work through. Obviously. Issues like theirs—problematic or otherwise—didn’t disappear with one, two, or even three admittedly fantastic kisses. But for now, their roommates had a point.
“Fucking vampires,” Guillermo chuckled.
“No,” Nandor replied with a sharp grin. “There’s just one vampire to fuck. Me."
Groaning at the dumb pun, Guillermo allowed himself to be kissed deeply and thoroughly, winding his hand into the silky, dark hair he adored and tugging.
It was as Nandor let out a quiet mewl (that he was definitely filing away for later) that he remembered the cameras. And the other people in the room. And his date.
“Wait, sorry,” he broke the kiss, his mouth already raw from beard burn and loving it before he turned to the crew.
“Can we have some privacy, guys? Please? And here, take my phone and text my date that I’m sorry I won’t make it, but he seems like a good guy, and I hope he meets someone else.”
He watched as the crewmember closest to him just barely caught his phone while the rest of the team just gaped at them, frozen in place, until a dark shadow cast over the room.
“He asked nicely,” Nandor said, his voice an octave lower than usual. “Do not make me ask not nicely.”
Not needing to be told twice, the crew scrambled to vacate the room, lugging their cameras and equipment behind them as Nandor reeled Guillermo back in, pushing him gently against the wall and cradling his head.
“Out, out!” he shooed over his shoulder, kissing along his jugular, his sharp fangs lightly scraping his skin and making him shiver. “We are a documentary, not a fucking porno!”
“No, save that for the honeymoon, old chap,” Laszlo’s muffled voice wafted from above. “And, if you need any pointers, let me know!”
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cottoncandysprite · 9 months
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Nandermo commissions I did for @kristylime for her fics The Taste Of Strawberries and On the Precipice! These were so fun to do and the fics are amazing, definitely check them out!
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Tumblr really should have a "read later" button because I always save fanfics links in my notes (to read them when I'm in the mood and not running after a bus or sth), and I'm sorry that the authors can't see me doing that. And it happened a few times that someone deleted a post and I was like "maybe the author was waiting for comment :c". I wanna make them happy for their work and I feel awkward everytime I make a comment with "I'm gonna read it this evening!!!"
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