#when bad people kiss

[trevorpi]

i need everybody on this webbed site to know that i am constantly constantly resisting the urge to reread when bad people kiss.

#trikey #trevor philips #michael de santa #fanfic #when bad people kiss

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[unitedstates0fdakota]

Reddit gets a lot of shit (and rightfully so) but going on the disco elysium subreddit and looking at HarryKim stuff has been the funniest shit like

Oh and this fuckin post

Shoutout to the Reddit HarryKim truthers love u guys

#disco elysium #harrykim #replying to someone with a picture of ur ship kissing is hysterical #counterpoint: Yaoi #Reddit usually hates ships #so it was fun to see those posts actually getting a lot of positive attention #also makes it hysterical when people come in and argue #have you played disco elysium? was such a takedown #ramblings #my bad yall

[strangersteddierthings]

The thing is, Steve has learned, that becoming untouchable isn't all he wants it to be.

People were too quick to try and reach out for him, ask for more than he was willing to give. He hadn't wanted to give up his first kiss to some random girl at some random boy's twelfth birthday party because of spin the bottle. He hadn't wanted to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Jenny Jackson or Linda Simons at Tommy's birthday party the following year. He did want to take Mary Linscott to Snow Ball, but she just wanted to make out behind the bleachers instead of dance with him. He didn't want to do that but then Brian called him stupid for not wanting to, and asked if he was queer. So, Steve had turned right back around and dragged Mary back under the bleachers, kissing her until it was time to go to prove Brian wrong.

(Even though Steve knows Brian isn't wrong. That Steve had wanted to ask Brian to the dance as much as he'd wanted to ask Mary but knew better than to do that. He saw how they treated Eddie Munson last year for the suspicion of liking other boys and Steve wasn't going to let that happen to himself.)

Brian had congratulated him after and asked what base he got to. Steve didn't want to get to any bases, but he couldn't say that, so he just punched Brian in the arm and said 'more bases than you' which was true because Brian's date didn't kiss him even once.

Then Carol Perkins approached him at lunch, shortly after Snow Ball, and asked if Steve would be her first kiss. Not because she wanted to kiss Steve, but because she wanted to kiss Tommy H, but didn't want to be bad at kissing. Steve agreed because he liked Carol. Not in the way she liked Tommy, but mostly because she'd asked.

No one had done that yet.

She came over to his house on a Saturday because she didn't want Tommy to catch them and think she didn't like him. They made out in his room because, despite his parents being home, they didn't really care who was in his room with him or if the door was open or shut. Probably didn't even notice he had someone over. She leaves an hour later.

By Tuesday Tommy and Carol are an item and by Friday they were Steve's best friends.

However, for reasons Steve doesn't understand, more girls keep asking him to be their first kiss. And maybe it's because he's already got a reputation, or maybe Carol let slip he'd said yes when she asked, but Steve finds himself kissing a lot of girls he doesn't want to. He doesn't know how to say no. Can't find a reason too. Brian's words play in the back of his mind every time he thinks about saying no.

(Are you stupid? Are you queer? He doesn't want to be either of those things, and given his grade in biology and pre-algebra, he's really only got a hope of avoiding the queer label. His father would tolerate a stupid son. He doesn't think he'd survive if his father had a queer one.)

There are a few girls he's been crushing on that ask him and that was nice. One, Alice Baker, even becomes his girlfriend for a month. His first relationship.

Soon eighth grade gives way to being a freshman and Steve, who has always been handsome and cute, catches the eye of upperclassmen now.

And Steve's not sure how it happens, but he ends up moving past first base with another girl whose name he can't remember, or possibly never knew. He doesn't remember asking her for hers when she led him into one of the bedrooms at the house this party was at while he was way too tipsy.

And then it just grows. The reputation and what people expect from him, and he doesn't want it, but he's never said no before so can he start now? Doesn't he need a reason to say no? If he doesn't have a reason, does that make him queer? He should be wanting this. What boy doesn't want this?

And maybe he does want it. But not like this.

He doesn't want to be slightly drunk at yet another party, following the first girl that grabs his wrist and pulls him after her into whatever secluded area they can find. He doesn't want to keep saying yes when he wants to say no.

The summer between freshman and sophomore year he confides in Carol. It's a risk. Carol can be cruel, quick with her words to tear you down, to spread the rumor that will ruin your life. But she's also fiercely loyal.

He tells her he's tired of kissing people he doesn't want to.

Carol is quiet for a long time, and Steve almost thinks he's made a mistake. But then she speaks.

"Okay. Let's make a plan."

And they do. Then suddenly Steve is untouchable. Carol teaches him how to see the weakness in people and call it out. How to wield his facial expressions as a weapon and a shield. How to put on the air of being the most important person everywhere you go so well that everyone else begins to believe it. How to fall back on the fact his parents are rich, gone often, and, almost most importantly, well known in the community. It gives Steve's name a weight to throw around.

More importantly, all of that culminates in people no longer asking things of him. Instead, they look to him to take the lead, they wait to be asked. It makes Steve feel in charge of his life for once.

But now.

Now, years later, having survived a spring break from Hell and averted the apocalypse, Steve watches Eddie hang off Argyle with ease, fling an arm over Jonathan's shoulder while laughing at a joke, easily pull Dustin into a headlock or wrestling match.

Easy touches that Steve should be able to do, too. A jealousy wells inside him almost as much as the unease he feels in his stomach at the mere thought of letting them know they're allowed to reach out and touch him, too. That Eddie's allowed to reach out and touch.

But then he remembers what happened when he let people have that power over him and he can't bring himself to do it.

It settles in Steve, then, the realization. When you become untouchable, you're unable to touch.

-

@nburkhardt @i-less-than-three-you adding my own lil bit of angst into the mix now (:

#pre steddie #my fic #cw dubious consent #internalized homophobia #steve kisses a lot of people he doesnt want to because of peer pressure and his own fear of not fitting in #it is also implied steve has sex with people when he didnt really want to #steve harrington has bad parents #touch-starved steve #also if you know the song that last line is from i am smooching the top of your head softly

[saphirdevil]

HSL ep 36-37 was wild.... it wa sso fun to play with friends

#my candy love #amour sucre #mcl castiel #mcl kentin #mcl nathaniel #mcl #fanart #xavi ocs #other people's oc #xavi art #THE SHADE THESE MEN HAVE... #unprovocked... although it do be funny #ALSO THE LOVE INTERESTEST AND CANDY KISSES SO MUCH I WAS EMBARASSED REAIDNG IT ALL WHEN STREAMING TO FRIENDS #LIKE THIS REALLY DO BE PDA #ITSCRAZY #made me miss castiel and her rude ass #its that bad guys

[f4gwithf4ngs]

currently smothering my face in a pillow because AAAHHHH I WANNA KISS A BOY!!!! I WANNA KISS A BOY SO BAD!!!! MAYBE MAKEOUT A LITTLE… AAAHHHHH

#fangedfagyearning #one time i submitted an anon to a MLM twt saying that like. when i’m deep yearning my lips ache bc i want kisses so bad #believe it or not several people agreed and shared that experience #tl;dr: wanna kiss a boy. lips ache from no kisses :( someone should fix that #mlm #gay #mlm yearning #t4t mlm #gay yearning #nblm #mlm thoughts #mlnb #ftm mlm #gay mlm

[sneez]

pathologic but it's a lost 1920s german expressionist film [id under cut]

[id:

image 1: a digital drawing of a fake poster, using bright colours and rough, painterly brushstrokes. the title, 'pest' (german for 'plague'), is written at the top in spiky black text. in the foreground a man dressed as a tragedian is staring intently at the viewer, his hands raised and splayed as if in horror. in the background, the town is framed against a red sky, with the polyhedron in yellow behind.

images 2 and 3: fake casting sheets for the film, with the names of the actors and the characters they are playing above a black-and-white portrait photograph of them. all the text is in german. in english it reads: 'Pest', a film by Robert Wiene Alfred Abel as Victor Kain Ernst Busch as Grief Lil Dagover as Katerina Saburova Ernst Deutsch as the Bachelor Carl de Vogt as Vlad the Younger Marlene Dietrich as the Inquisitor Willy Fritsch as Mark Immortell Alexander Granach as Andrey and Peter Stamatin Bernhard Goetzke as General Block Dolly Haas as the Changeling Ludwig Hartau as the Haruspex Brigitte Helm as Anna Angel Brigitte Horney as Maria Kaina Emil Jannings as Big Vlad Gerda Maurus as Yulia Lyuricheva Lothar Menhert as Georgiy Kain Asta Nielsen as Lara Ravel Ossi Oswalda as Eva Yan Fritz Rasp as Stanislas Rubin Conrad Veidt as Alexander Saburov and Tragedian Paul Wegener as Oyun Gertrud Welcker as Aspity

image 4: four digital sketches of set designs for various locations. all are strongly influenced by expressionist imagery, using extreme angles, warped perspective, and dramatic shapes. they are labelled 'street 1' (a street lined with houses), 'street 2' (a square with a lamppost and a set of steps), 'polyhedron exterior' (the polyhedron walkway), and 'cathedral interior' (the dais at the far end of the cathedral).

image 5: four digital drawings in a black-and-white watercolour style, showing fake stills from the film. all are similarly distorted and lit by dramatic lighting. the first shows katerina's bedroom, with katerina standing in the centre of the floor. the second shows the interior of an infected house. the third shows daniil staring out of the frame in horror, one hand on his head and the other raised as if to ward something off. the fourth shows an intertitle with jagged white text reading 'the first day' against a dark background.

end id.]

#pathologic #artwork #conrad veidt #(i know there are many other actors but i dont have tags for them my bad) #anyway :D this has been my brain project for the past week or so i have been thinking about it so much #i have so many more things i want to draw for it but i am trying to hold myself back. for the sake of my Wrists #also obviously the cast list is way whiter than it should be for pathologic but german expressionist cinema was not particularly diverse an #i was trying to go for realism so apologies for that #i had so much fun with these i dont normally draw locations because i prefer drawing people but i found it so much more enjoyable #when i could mess around with the perspective and make stuff look wacky. thank you expressionism i love you expressionism #also it goes without saying that i was most heavily inspired by the cabinet of dr caligari (which is why i went with robert wiene. he would #do such a great job i think) #i hope you are all well my friends :D kiss you

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

sharing is caring <3

#KISS THE MAILMAN!!!! #they are waiting their turns!!! #this is so fucking indulgent & niche asdjaskjcnaskclak #eddie gets all the love!!! #im such a giggly lil bitch about this im- #yall dont even know how bad it was when i was actually scribbling this. commit me to an asylum #its soooo Unserious and its soooooo Fun #eddie is the perfect size for them to Hold and Cherish #screaming crying wailing eating floor tiles!!! #ok somebody take me out back and shoot me The Voices Are Winning #scribble salad #what do i even tag this with??? DO i even tag it??? #lmao imagine i toss it into the welcome home tag #woe! laughingletterstock be upon ye!! #im spicing up the soup... at least i like to think that i am!!! #i create silly mindless stuff like this so that i can Think later #alrighty im gonna queue this for the morning #there's like. 3 people absolutely frothing at the mouth to see this so!!! #morning queue! i could post it Now but like. lmao #ive posted enough today.... gotta space it out a lil

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things. #people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time. #but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized. #sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement. #this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex. #and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love. #our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!! #it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild.... #anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that. #silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff. #love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that. #kiss kiss (<— lovelessly) #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

[mexreny]

fellas is it gay to trap your love interest (a millennia old demon) in a prison cell for three (3) days and come back each day to check in on how your little boyfriend is “paying his penance” for his sins whilst you’ve been possessed by a cunty evil force?

#qsmp #qsmp forever #qsmp badboyhalo #chat is this what friends do? #guys I love straight people #this definitely isn’t like #romantic or something #Bads going crazy already by the way he’s going to rip forever apart when he’s out of the cell #yk id rather they just kiss but if this is how they flirt then so be it

[salsflore]

i think self shippers should be nicer to themselves. seeing people call themselves weird or cringy or embarrassing is like NO!! NOT AT ALL!! i am giving you a hug actually. and a slice of cake

BANNER DESCRIBED IN ALT. TEXT

#i know a lot of them mean it as a joke or just. not seriously but then there are some that truly #believe they are doing something wrong somehow that they are odd or like meh nobody cares about [] anyways #wrong!! me!! i care!&@*$!! #i support peoples rights to kiss or hug or beat the shit out of their fave fictional characters. you should do jt more often btw #they say sorry for the bad art or gushing even when no one cares NO!!!! throws a cake at you (like affectionately)

[canisalbus]

IDK if I'm phrasing this correctly, but in my brain, Vasco is, like, the personification (caninification?) of an afternoon chilling on a back porch swing.

.

#ah #that's adorable #I can totally imagine him doing that #answered #anonymous #Vasco #to me he usually conjures the feeling of being warmed by sunlight #winters in northern Finland where I'm from tend to be pretty rough at least for me they are #they last about six months or so #sun starts to set earlier and earlier until it gets dark before 2 pm #in december the sun barely rises at all it's like this brief moment of twilight at noon between two 22+ hour nights #it gets harder to wake up in the morning and your energy levels plummet you go into battery saving mode #polar night messes up your brain seasonal depression gets really bad #and the cold and dark goes on and on and you feel like you'll never feel warm or happy or properly awake again #but eventually it starts to veer towards spring and on one day you notice that the sun is shining??!?! #not like bleakly and weakly but proper sunlight with warm hue and capability to actually warm the things it touches #you've forgotten what it looks like when it's truly light outside #and it's the craziest feeling to see bright natural light it blinds you and pierces right through into your very core #being kissed by the sun for the first time in months feels unreal it feels SO GOOD #I don't know it's probably not that big of a deal for people around me #but I personally react to things like changes in temperature and the amount of daylight pretty massively #I like to think that Vasco is a first ray of sunlight hitting you after you've spent what feels like an eternity in someplace cold and dark

[tunderilona]

💀

#HELP..... literally me #do other people actually enjoy it i just feel nothing #well apart from when i almost threw up once but other than that #was also watching a show the other day and there was a guy who looked attractive then he kissed the female character and it just #seemed SO gross like even just watching it made my stomach turn so bad that i couldnt even look at him after when he #showed up in other scenes💀💀💀💀

[seraphicalsuccubus]

oh no I smoked too much weed and gave myself zoomies both from the excitement from my new peak pro and the excitement from the new weed itself and def smoked way more than I should have and probs will continue to smoke more than I should because of this double dose of excitement until I finally just pass out after days of hardly sleeping recently lmao

but ANYWAYS before that happens !!! I currently have the strongest urge to go wreck people in fucking battlegrounds to level one of my assorted disc priests and because like …. ever since I got 100k honorable kills achieve, I’ve wanted that goddamn fucking ‘the Bloodthirsty’ title from the 250k honorable kills achieve and I was farming that before I stopped having the drive to game a few months back.

so let’s see how queues go at 2am on a fucking Wednesday morning, I wonder if I’ll give up before I find a bracket with fast pvp queues tonight tbh. it’s more likely I’ll end up pugging a raid on my mistweaver main if it takes too long to get into a battleground just to preoccupy myself for a bit and try to get a chance at trinkets and shit lmao

#this is huge tho I haven’t WANTED to game enough to drag my laptop out and play in MONTHS #I logged in for the first time in ages the other day and I had so much fun in my battlegrounds I didn’t even realize we were winning #I was just having a fucking blast being a healer and a menace because I’m playing a disc priest rn of course lmao #and now I want to game again so bad but like mindlessly and bgs are mindless to me I guess??? #like they’re so easy and all muscle memory and hardly take any thought so I think I could function enough to fuck some people up for a bit #or raiding Amirdrassil on LFR or normal. also pretty mindless even when pugging groups and all that. #everything’s usually one shot one kill or like 2 shots per kill max because people learn from their mistakes !!! #but like as a healer I know my shit so it’s just mindless (except for Larodar ((MY BELOVED)) because I LOVE that fight and get super into it #his dialogue is just too fuckin good and the voice??? truly chefs kiss like perfect voice casting #almost as fantastic as Sire Denathrius tbh and that’s like the big vocally satisfying one for me LMAO #this tag rant went on a wild roller coaster what the fuck I am so sorry for anyone who read these #I’m trying to read them back and I can’t even understand my fucking thought process LMFAO

[clownhonkbonk]

loving EVERYONE talking about good omens pride and prejudice for " the ball" episode

#i dont think thats what it is but i support it FULLY #i am giggling SO hard that o gave crowley a moustache you dont understand #cause everyone hates when he has a beard or something #and i strive for chaos #good omens #good omens season 2 #crowley #good omens 2 #aziraphel #good omens fanart #oh and i so so dearly am in love with the people who said they totally have given the hand kiss ebefore #thats just so cute for them idk maybe thats ace brain talking #brain is so alive and inlove and i think thats gonna be so great or so bad. #HELP i made him phineas fogg #from atwied

[morninkim]

“How are you doing?”

“I’m hangin’...”

Tomberly kiss scene from Season 1 but now they’re 45 and recovering from being action figures on Aquitar

#mmpr #power rangers #tomberly #tommy oliver #kimberly hart #once and always #following on from yesterday's post bc im feral over this concept and i love them so much i think they should kiss and stuff #pls ignore my inability to draw people from the back im bad at art (specifically when i'm doing that) #i think tommy came out pretty spot on to jdf but kim only kinda looks like ajj im so sorry queen i love your face so much #im so stupid i made the post the day before yesterday anyway-