#when do we get the turkey grimm

[otherpeoplesheartachept-2]

day 1: A Record of You and I

A diary from the mid 1700s kept by a man named Simon Snow, a farmhand for the Grimm estate. He records the death and the subsequent vampiric transformation of his close friend, and heir to the Grimm estate, Basilton Grimm.

Rating: M

Length: 4,321

Warnings: main character death/undeath. non-graphic (maybe slightly graphic) depictions of violence/blood, mentions of animal death, implied sex

Read on AO3 or below the cut

September 3rd 1742

I've never had a journal before but Basilton tells me it will help with my reading and writing. He's taught me all my letters and wants me to practice on my own now. He says he’ll continue reading to me if I like. He’ll keep helping me with handwriting too, but Basilton insists that having a personal record will do me good. Even so, I do not know what to record. Though I must not waste this lovely gift. Basilton says to write about my day, my thoughts. He must have more thoughts within him than I, for I am already out of things to say, and Basilton adds to his journal at all hours of the day. 

September 6th 1742

Today I milked the cows and took them out in the field to graze. I ate fresh bread with a lot of butter.  I did some other chores. It is late. I do not wish to write more.

September 7th 1742

Today I had porridge for breakfast, and some tasty stew Ebb made for supper. Charlie, the cattle dog, found a new favorite stick out in the pasture today, he hasn't stopped chewing it since this morning.

September 8th 1742

I hope Basil will forgive me for my short entries. It's not as if he’ll read what I put down here. Personal journals are to be personal, he tells me. So I’m just meant to speak to myself? I will keep at it, if only to gain more surety in my handwriting. 

September 9th 1742

It is Sunday, I went to Mass. Basilton came to the cabin after the service. Brought me some scones Vera made. Sir Grimm does not approve of his son spending so much time with a farmhand, Basilton told me of another scolding he got earlier this week. I do not know why he spends time with me, against his father’s wishes, but I will not stop him. We ate lunch together. I enjoyed the food, and the company more. Basilton would call me a liar if he read that, my love of scones is rarely bested by anything, but Basilton is a good friend to me. 

Everything feels so easy with Basil. He can make me laugh no matter what, even when he's poking fun at me. We talked for hours yesterday, and he listened when I spoke about my days, my observations of the cattle. Basil worries I work too hard, but I don't do much really, and I enjoy the labor. Besides, what else am I to do with my time? We discussed a poem Basil had read to me a few weeks ago. I am not usually one for poetry, but Basilton speaks about poems in a way that makes sense to me. I thought him unbearably arrogant when I first started working for his family, speaking of literature constantly and looking down his big nose at me. He still is arrogant at times, but now that we are friends I know he is also kind and caring and truly intelligent. He speaks of his sisters often, and how he worries he won’t meet his father’s expectations. He remains unmarried and this troubles Sir Grimm. 

But Basilton has land to inherit and good social standing. He has many admirable qualities, and it goes without saying that he is handsome. He should have no trouble finding a wife. I said this to Basilton today but he became uncomfortable. Quickly, he brushed it off and picked up a new topic of conversation. This has happened before, I do not know if it’s the subject of marriage, or if he is too modest a man, but many times I have stated his good qualities, only for Basiton to blush and deny them, or leave the conversation. 

September 20th 1742

I ate Turkey for supper yesterday. One of the bulls charged at me today because I looked at him wrong. Bastard. Gareth made me help him till the field today. Another bastard. He said he couldn’t get it done in time without help, despite the crops being his and his sons’ job, and the cattle being mine. 

Went to the pub with Ebb, the goatherd yesterday. She told me a great joke about goats but I was drunk and can't remember it now. I might ask her to tell me it again.  

September 22nd 1742

Today was an easy day, I fiddled with my carving knife while out in the field. Made a little wooden Charlie but when I showed it to him the blasted dog chewed it up. I tried to stop him but then I just laughed. I suppose I’m glad he found my carving nice enough to devour. 

September 30th 1742

Basilton visited today. He brought me some of his books, said I could keep them, since I mentioned how much I liked the last one he read to me. I thanked him for the books, he is so kind to me. I do not know if I will ever read them though. Perhaps I should not have taken them. It’s not that I am ungrateful, I just didn’t know how to tell Basilton I mostly enjoy hearing his voice read to me, more than I care about the contents of the books. I am sad as this probably means he will not continue reading aloud to me. 

October 1st 1742

I’ve not been writing as much as I feel I should. I fear my life is just not that interesting. Basilton tells me it’s plenty interesting. He’ll listen to my stories about cattle and Charlie without complaint. Gareth tells me my stories are boring though. “Who cares if a calf was born with a spot that looks just like a field mouse?” he said to me when I told that story at the pub last week. As if throwing seeds on the ground makes for great stories. 

October 8th 1742

I found some poppies in the field, the first of the fall. I picked a couple of the red flowers. Gave them to Basil when he came round my cottage in the evening. He tried to resist them but I insisted. I told him it was repayment for the books he left with me. That wasn't all true, I just wanted to share the beauty of those little things with him. Basilton accepted the flowers then, I do hope he likes them. I cannot offer him much more, though I wish I had more to give to my friends. 

October 10th 1742

I tried carving a flower out of wood but I cocked it up. I might try again with a thicker stick.

October 12th 1742

The cattle are well. The sun is shortening our days. I heard a bird song I did not recognize today, while out in the field. It was lovely. I must start saving up for a new winter coat, mine is threadbare and has not been keeping me warm enough as the world gets colder. Basilton tells me he’s going deer stalking with his cousins in a few days. He will be gone for at least a month. It will be their first hunt of the season. 

October 15th 1742

Basilton left today. I tended to the cattle. I tried to brush off the sadness that seemed to hang over the day. Perhaps the cloudy days are affecting my mood, or the cold weather. I might just sleep early today. 

October 30th 1742

He died. On that trip he

November 25th 1742

I went to Mass today. I sat alone. I tried to welcome the Holy Spirit but I feel so alone in this world. I grieve Basil every waking moment. I thought this would pass, it’s been nearly a month and still the wound is as fresh as the day I learned of his death. I’ve never had someone to lose before, like this. I loved him deeply, as if he were my own family I have come to realize. I find myself almost grateful that I did not know my parents, that I will not, one day, have to grieve them as well.

The Lord’s Day is the most painful, God forgive my soul for saying so. I cannot distract myself with work. I try to pray, but my mind wanders ever back to my lost friend. I grow tired of writing, but I will not put down this journal forever, Basilton wouldn't want me to.

November 27th 1742

I woke up this morning to something strange. I found one of the cows dead in the field. I hadn’t noticed any signs of sickness in the herd, but there were also no signs of an animal attack. There was no wound I could find, no blood. She looked strange, I cannot say why, though. It was as if something was missing, from beneath the skin. I told Sir Grimm, and the other farmhands, in case there is sickness in the herd. I’ll be keeping a closer watch on the cattle.

November 29th 1742

I visited Basilton’s grave this evening. It did me no good. I only felt the pain of loss much stronger standing there, reading his gravestone. It was as if there were a stake ran through my chest. I could hardly breathe through the sobs that came out of me. It was so strange, knowing Basilton was so close, only two meters or so below where I stood, and yet he was impossibly far. 

It does me little good to dwell on these negative feelings. 

November 30th 1742

I try to fill my days with actions. I inspect the cows twice, three times over, to check for any signs of decaying health. I pace the perimeter of the field while they graze. I help Gareth work the land when I should be resting. I chop enough firewood for this winter and the next two. I stay too long at the pub and drink more than I can afford. I imagine spots in my cabin that need cleaning, and I scrub and scrub and scrub until the pain in my hands is all that I can feel. And yet, I still ache for the companionship of Bailston. What am I to do with myself?

December 1st 1742

I cannot stop thinking of Basilton. Truly, I never stopped thinking of him, even when he was alive and with me. The Grimm family told us he was trampled by his own horse, fell off it while hunting. In quiet moments my mind creates imaginations of his last terrible moments. When I lay in bed, if I am not drunk as a lord, I cannot sleep for hours. I pray to God for a miracle, but my pleas are left unanswered. I know it to be foolish, but I cannot help myself. I would do anything for Basilton. Anything to see him again. 

December 4th 1742

I do not want to write this, but I feel I must. I saw Basilton last night. I know, I know that he is dead, and God willing, he is at peace in heaven. But I came home from the pub late last night, crawled into bed, then, I saw Basil in my room, as if he were alive. He did not look ghostly, no, he looked as if he had new life coursing through him. His skin flush. His smile wide. There were no signs he had ever been dead. 

I cried out, I could not help it. He came to me, to my bed. I sat up to meet him. And he held me. A hand pressed to my chest, the other wrapped around my back. His dark hair against my chin as he rested his face to my collar bone. We did not speak. I feared I would wake from the dream. And it must have been a dream. 

I woke up this morning half expecting to see Basilton about the grounds, as if his death was a nightmare I could finally wake from. But he was not here, of course not. My mind has been so fixed on Basilton it only makes sense he would creep into my dreams.

December 5th 1742

It happened again, last night, I was not asleep this time. I was changing into my night clothes, when Basil appeared to me. I did not hear him come in. My candle cast his shadow against the wall. He must have been standing there as flesh and bone, not as a ghost or a vision. He wore regular clothes, not the burial shroud–made from his own family’s wool–that he was laid to rest in. He had on his purple vest with yellow embroidered flowers. It was one of his favorites, he told me years ago. Again he did not speak, but he touched my hand. He was so cool. a welcome feeling; I was so hot. I pulled him into an embrace. I whispered his name, I did not know what else I could do. I swear to God, he spoke my name in response.

Suddenly I felt so tired, so drained. Likely the day’s work catching up to me. I tried to fight the urge to sleep, but my eyes closed before I could watch Basilton leave, or say anything more to him.

December 6th 1742

Another cow, and one of the bulls have died, for the same mysterious reason as the first cow. The herd was restless yesterday, as if they could sense misfortune in the air, but I could not do anything to prevent their deaths. I do not even know what I need to be protecting them from.  

I am worried, and unsettled.

December 8th 1742

The night before this last I stayed up, hoping to see my old friend again, though he never came. But last night I saw Basilton again. He spoke this time, only my name. My heart filled with joy to hear my friend’s deep voice call me Simon after I was sure we’d never be able to speak to each other again in this life. He sat beside me on the bed. I told him I had missed him. He placed a cool hand on my cheek, looked into my eyes. His were a familiar light grey, but he wore an expression I couldn't make sense of.

Then, he kissed me. I hesitate to write these words. He must be a sodomite. I have always heard such men are evil, but I could never think of Basilton that way. He's always been so lovely. 

And the worst part is that I kissed him back. The best part is that I kissed him back. I have not kissed anyone before. He was so soft against my lips. So cool. His hand held my jaw, and his tongue pressed against my lips. An elation sprung up within me that I cannot describe. I held him tightly, wanting more than anything for this moment to last forever. I couldn’t help but think he should have done this sooner. We should have done this when Basil was still living. 

Oh God! I weep remembering that he is dead. 

Basilton kissed farther down my neck, across my collar bones, left kisses on my chest so hard they hurt. I did not stop him. He didn't go farther than my bosom, but-

I wanted him to. I felt as if under a spell, wrapped up in a world of pleasure balanced by the slightest pain. I wanted more, wanted all of him , but before I knew it I was awake, and alone, as the morning sun shown through my window. 

I was slow in my work today. Gareth noticed, told me I should not be so lazy. My body betrays me, I feel so weak.

December 13th 1742

Basilton visits me nightly now. I welcome his touches, his hard kisses. I walk through my days now, dreaming of night. 

The cows have begun to distrust me, they put up a fight when I try to milk them, and a few are no longer eating. I do not know why. Sir Grimm, despite having experience with livestock, seemed just as perplexed as I when I brought up the strange deaths and behaviors of his herd. Though, I know his mind is elsewhere, the mourning clothes he and Madam Grimm wear are a constant reminder of their loss.

I hear whispers at the pub of ghost sightings. I hear gossip from the house servants that the Grimm children wake up screaming in the nights now. 

December 19th 1742

The weather gets worse. I feel frozen to the bone. My hands hurt daily. My work gets harder, as more animals under my care drop dead, and my strength seems to dwindle with each moment. The waking world has no joy, no pleasure left. But I go through each day, waiting for night. Only at night can I remember what happiness is. Basilton comes to me. He holds me, and we kiss for hours. Basil leaves marks and bruises on my skin but I welcome it. My hands praise the skin he uncovers for me. We commit sins I never knew could bring such pleasures. 

December 20th 1742

I admit, I have not allowed myself to consider how or why Basilton appears to me alive, when I know he was laid in his grave two months ago. I just cannot think of it, I cannot search for reasons to distrust this gift I have. I may be a fool, or a doomed sodomite, but I cannot find it in me to fight what is happening. I cannot consider this to be anything but good or I might truly lose myself. 

December 24th 1742

Last night was disturbing. Basilton came to my room as usual. We kissed, and lay together, and I felt so joyous, but quickly the tides turned. He pinned my naked body to the bed. He sat over me and tore at my flesh with his bare hands. I cried out but I could not stop him. Some dark part of me did not want to stop him. Basilton lapped up the blood that poured from my chest like a starved dog. The unGodly sight did things to me. As if possessed by something, I craved his bloodshed.

I do not know what is wrong with me. 

I awoke with deep wounds on my chest. A mess of horror and lust arose within me as I touched the raised flesh, the dried blood. I know this is not natural, this is not holy. I should seek out a doctor, or a priest, but I can't stand the thought of losing my dear Basil again. I would open up a vein for him. I would tie our hearts together for eternity if it meant Basilton could be mine. 

December 25th 1742

It is Christmas Day. A holiday that should be full of cheer. Basil once told me it was his favorite holiday, so it holds an extra special meaning for me. I wish he had been here, enjoying the day. I try not to be too sad, he will be here soon, arriving with the stars in the sky.  

Ebb spent the day with me. I gave her a small wooden goat I carved. She does not say it but I know she misses her brother most around this time of year. I tried to be there for her, as I pretended not to notice the tears running down her red cheeks. But I found it hard to care. All my thoughts were consumed by anticipation for my next visit with Basilton. I know that is terrible. I tried to fight it, to focus on the friend I had with me at the moment, but I struggled. My mind, and my heart are trapped in a world with only Basilton and myself. A world no one else could understand. 

December 26th 1742 

Basilton attacked me again last night. My neck, chest, and stomach are covered in signs of his violent affection. Oh my dear God, I try to feel remorse, to summon disgust at our actions, but it is just not there within me. My mind is a haze of painful pleasure, my thoughts, along with my flesh and blood, fully consumed by Basilton. He is a fallen angel. He is a monster, and I must be one as well, but I have no will to change that. 

I love him. I’ll love him no matter what we become. 

I found more cattle dead this morning. Now nearly a third of the herd is gone. This time they have markings to match the wounds on my chest. 

I told Ebb about the deaths, she told me a few goats have passed as well. I will tell the baronet tomorrow. 

December 27th 1742

I went to tell Sir Grimm about the dead cows this morning. 

In the manor I overheard the baronet and baronetess speaking of another attack last night. I stopped myself short of the doorway into Sir Grimm’s study. I stood in the hallway, slowing my breath to hear them through the door. 

“Mordelia saw Basilton again last night. He hurt her, picked her up and left scratches on her back,” Daphne said to Malcolm. Sir Grimm stated he’s seen their son some nights as well. I became jealous upon hearing these words, at learning I was not the only one Basil is giving attention to. A foolish thought, of course he would want to see his family. But they spoke of him in fearful tones. They do not know my sweet Basil is only full of love. 

“He is a vampire,” Sir Grimm said. I had to stop myself from crying out. Madam Grimm gasped, begged him no. Sir Grimm mumbled something comforting. “It must be done. He’s not our son anymore, Daphne, he is an evil creature.” 

A vampire. The livestock dying, the frightened children, and my nightly visits from Basilton, all signs of a vampire. Dear God, Basil did not deserve such a fate!! I know what they will do to him: dig up his grave, stake his heart, cut off his head, and burn him to ashes. 

He will be gone forever. 

I cannot bear the thought! 

I know now what I must do, and I must do it quickly. 

Later on the 27th

Hastily, I have made my preparations. I could not risk Sir Grimm getting to Basilton first. I am prepared to go tonight. 

December 28th 1742

I went to Basilton’s grave late last night. I was the only soul awake besides the owls. I brought along a lantern, a shovel, a small pack with all my coin and what few possessions I care to keep, and a small wheelbarrow I took from the barn. The light of my lantern guided me through the familiar trees and headstones, until I found the name Basilton Grimm carved into stone. 

The rain poured down endlessly. The wet earth offered little resistance to my shovel, but digging was not quick work. The wind put out my lantern thrice. I gave up relighting, nothing would stop me. I had a singular purpose. I felt as if I’d been guided here, to this moment, to save my love. 

After hours of labor, my shovel kissed the wood of a coffin, I nearly collapsed from relief, and exhaustion. Prying the lid from my Basil’s prison was harder than I had expected. Once I had it off, I threw it from the hole. 

I wept. There was my dearest Basilton asleep in his coffin. I relit the lantern. I fell to my knees, sharing the cramped space with him. The light revealed a blood-stained mouth and burial shroud. His hair was a little longer, more lustrous than in life, his skin ruddy and plump. I worried I would find his face smashed, his body mangled from horses’ hooves, but he was unmarked and as beautiful as ever. His hands were free from his shroud, also bloody. 

These are all signs of a vampire, but I could not care. I had to reach out to touch his cold flesh.

I had to kiss him. 

My lips met his, and in that coffin, surrounded by earth, over the sound of the attacking rain, Basil softly moaned. I swear I heard it. I swear his lips moved against mine.  

Elated with indescribable joy I tried to wake him more, desperate for proof he really was living. He did not open his eyes, or speak to me, or move. But when I pressed my ear to his chest I heard the drum of his heart beat steadily. 

My sweet Basilton alive! Now that I have him, I will let no harm come to him. I will keep Basil safe from those who want to kill him again. 

It is early morning now, the sun is just starting to peak over the land in the East. This will be my last entry. I shall leave my journal here, in my Basilton’s empty grave, in case anyone is searching for us. I care not who reads these words, they will not find us. I will be far away, with my love, finally happy. 

(A note placed in the back of the journal)

Dearest Simon, 

I hope this journal will be of use to you. I do believe keeping a journal will help you continue improving your literacy. And perhaps it will aid in other ways. I find it helps to have a private place for one's thoughts and feelings. My journals are a great comfort to me. 

Beyond that, I must admit I do enjoy the thought that there will be a record of you and of I. That people may know who we were, and that we were good friends.

Yours truly, 

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm

#carry on countdown 2023 #coc 2023 #carry on countdown #simon snow #baz pitch #vampire #blood #blood drinking #1700s au #simon snow pov #the simon snow series #carry on #the simon snow trilogy #fanfic #corascrap

[svnnyd4ys]

(some of the) eah rebel students as incorrect quotes

Cedar: Are we really going to let Raven keep Cerise? Kitty: We kept Maddie.

!!!

Maddie: Awww, why don't you like cats, Raven? They're just snuggly buddies! They have toe beans! They make a little blep! What's not to love?? Raven: I don't know Maddie, I just prefer to be conscious instead of dead on the floor. Maddie: Raven: I'm ALLERGIC.

!!! Kitty: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses. Maddie: Elephants. Kitty: Blocked. Cerise: Camels. Kitty: Extra blocked. Cedar: Donkeys. Kitty: Ultra blocked. Raven: That dick. Kitty: ...Followed.

!!!

Raven, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

!!!

Maddie: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Kitty. Cerise, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff? Maddie: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Cerise: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood? Maddie: You wanted fake blood? Cerise: Maddie: I’ll go call Kitty.

!!!

Headmaster Grimm: Raven, I’ve left a letter telling your mother not to worry— Raven: She won’t. Headmaster Grimm: that you’re safe— Raven: That’ll just depress her. Headmaster Grimm: —and you’ll see her in a few weeks. Raven: Do I have to?

!!!

Kitty: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Cerise, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

!!!

Maddie: How would you like your tea? Cedar: As dark as my soul. Maddie: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

!!!

*at 3am* Kitty: *runs into Cerise’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead! Cerise: *wakes up* Dude! Kitty: *cackles* Raven: *sits up from where they were sleeping behind Cerise* What the fuck, Kitty? Kitty: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT-

!!!

Maddie: YOU CHEATED! Cerise: So did my dad, but hey, my mom knew it all and even sorted out their wedding, so what’s the problem? Cedar: I… can confirm that that actually happened. Maddie: …What.

!!!

Kitty: Hey, Cerise, have you thought about having children? Cerise: ... Cerise: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it. Kitty: But we're not childr- Cerise, already distracted: MADDIE, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!

!!!

Cerise: Maddie just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.

!!!

Cedar: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.." Raven: I saw you. Cedar: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Cerise in a turkey costume.

!!!

Cedar: Did it hurt when you fell- Kitty: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Cedar: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Kitty: ... Cedar: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

!!!

Maddie: Raven, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee! Raven: Rebuke? Is that a word? Maddie: You have all invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions! Raven: What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?

!!!

Cedar: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food! Cerise: You can eat a rock. Raven: Air. Kitty: The fabric of time and space. Maddie: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems. Cedar: You guys are not helpful.

!!!

Cedar: So anyways have y'all seen Maddie? Cerise: I think they went in Kitty's room 'studying'. Raven: Doubt that. I heard groans there. *Meanwhile in Kitty's room* Maddie & Kitty, fighting:

!!!

#long post #shut up sunny!! #svnnyd4ys #ever after high #eah #my ever after high hyperfixation is back lmao #ever after high rebel #eah rebel #raven queen #cerise hood #maddie hatter #kitty cheshire #cedar wood

[bridgyrose]

turkey day ask: Ruby tries to hunt a turkey for the holiday and... gets outsmarted by the bird.

Ruby carefully laid down the noose she had just tied, making sure everything was in place. The string was laid out carefully, traveling from the small clearing and up the nearest tree. Wild berries and a small squirrel carcass were placed in the middle of the noose with a trigger that would tighten it around a turkey’s feet so she could finally have something to bring to the celebration of thanks that Blake had invited her to. Though, after hours of trying to catch a single turkey, she was starting to think that she’d never catch one. 

“What are you doing?” 

Ruby nearly slipped out of the branch she was perched up in as Yang appeared behind her, her heart thumping for a moment as she made sure she didnt tangle up any of her line. “Trying to catch a turkey for Blake.” 

Yang looked at the trap that Ruby had laid out, sighing as she got herself comfortable in the tree on another branch. “Do you have to catch one yourself? There’s still plenty you can get from the store and its not like you couldnt pay someone to hunt one down.” 

“As a huntress I should be able to provide for others, not just fight grimm. I can hunt deer, rabbits, quail, elk… everything we could ever need when we’re on a hunt-” 

“And you’re struggling to catch a turkey?” 

Ruby sighed and looked towards the trap again, watching it. “Its not like I can just shoot it with my sniper rifle. And I tried to hunt one with a bow and I… didnt exactly hit what I was aiming for.” 

Yang shook her head, looking up to the sky through the leaves of the tree. “And if you cant catch it with this?” 

“Then I’ll figure something out.” 

“And if you dont?” 

Ruby rolled her eyes and motioned for Yang to be quiet as she watched a turkey make its way to the trap. A smile crossed her lips as she watched the peck at the squirrel carcass, her fingers on the line as she waited for the right moment to tighten it. As soon as the turkey stepped into the noose, she pulled the line with all her might… only to watch the noose not move. 

“Having trouble?” Yang asked. 

“I’ve got this,” Ruby said in a hushed, angry whisper as she pulled the line once more. This time, the line pulled all the way to her, cut a few feet before the noose. She let out an exhausted sigh as the turkey finished its meal and walked off. “You really think Blake wont mind if I bring a frozen turkey?” 

“I know she wont. Besides, you have nothing to prove to her.” 

“Yeah but-” 

“No buts.” Yang put a hand on her shoulder with a smile. “You’ve proven time and time again that you can provide for her and now she’s invited you to spend time with her family at Menagerie. If there was anything more for you to prove, its how much you love her.” 

Ruby sighed and jumped down from her branch, landing down below the tree. “Yeah, you’re right.” 

“Always am.” 

Ruby made her way to the noose to pick it up and clean up the rest of her traps, stepping on a small snare she had forgotten she set up. With a yelp, she was yanked back up into the tree by her foot, blood rushing to her head. 

Yang held back a laugh as she made her way to Ruby again. “Need help?”  Ruby, having given up, stared at the ground below her as she started to rethink her life choices. “As long as you never mention this to anyone.” 

#rwby #ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #yang xiao long #drabbles

[a-tale-as-old-as-taiyang]

Salem would like to wish all of you in America a happy Thankgrimming today!

#rwby #rwby puns #Salem #when do we get the turkey grimm

[cynergy-laughter]

Devildom Dad Jokes and Pun fest! Obey Me!

MC: Hey Lucifer...

Lucifer: Yes?

MC: A lion paints a rainbow on a stone and shows it to his pack... the Lion now has a Pride Rock.

Lucifer: *puts his hand over his face, stopping his paperwork* Get out of my office...

MC: Another Lion paints another stone white, gray, black, and purple and tosses it onto the Pride Rock. It lands right on top of it. She was an Ace when it came down to it.

Lucifer: *biting his lip* Out... now...

MC: Come on, you’re smiling... you’re just mad that you didn’t think of it first.

_________

MC: Mammon... what did the teller say when you asked to cash in?

Mammon: *blinks* MC... please don’t...

MC: Lemme check for you.

Mammon: ... That wasn’t even clever.

MC: Yeah, I should be fined for such a terrible joke.

Mammon: Stop.

MC: Don’t be so Grimm, Mammon, it’s just another joke.

Mammon: You have one more time...

MC: Okay, I’ll just go and make dollars and cents of my life.

Mammon: Unpact from me... right now.

________

Leviathan: ...And that is why the manga is so much better than the anime.

MC: Wow, you have such anime-zingly vast knowledge of that particular story.

Levi: Yeah, it’s one of my favorites, true fans can appreciate the manga, especially when they leave out major points in the anime all in the name of fanservice.

MC: I can definitely see that... thanks for Shonen me the difference.

Levi: Of course! Anything for a budding fan.

MC:

Levi:

MC:

Levi:

Levi: Wait a minute.

MC: PFFFFFFTTT!

________

Satan: *reading, minding his own business*

MC: *sneaks over to Satan* SATAN!

Satan: *eyes widen and jumps up* MC! Why do you always do that?!

MC: I have a joke or two for you.

Satan: You interrupted my reading for attention?

MC: Everyone else kicked me out of their room...

Satan: ... Fine.

MC: What do call an edlritch cat?

Satan: ... I don’t know... what?

MC: Cathulhu.

Satan: *puts his fist over his mouth, trying not to snicker* Okay, that’s enough...

MC: But I have another one... what do you call a cat mixing cake batter?

Satan: ... what?

MC: A catfectionary whisker.

Satan: *snorts into a laugh* That’s a foul, you know cats are my weakness..

MC: I do, that’s why they were...

Satan: ... *smirking* No, don’t you dare, I’m mad at you.

MC: Purrfect for you.

Satan: *hides his face with his book* gehet ohout...!

_______

Asmodeus: *does your make up* There we go, your cheeks contoured, eye shadow is glittered, and those eyebrows, oh! I’m such an artist~!

MC: Yeah, it looks very good. I sure need to brush up on my makeup skills. Could you teach me?

Asmo: Of course! Let me go get my palettes.

MC: And don’t gloss over any details, I want the primer advice from the best.

Asmo: *smiles and walks over to you, handing you a make up wipe* Wipe off your face and we’ll get started anew.

MC: *wipes off face* Alright the grand contour please~.

Asmo: *smiles* Three strikes and you’re out. No dad jokes allowed in my art space.

MC: ... so this make up class is a bust? *points to the headshot statue of Asmo*

Asmo: OUT!

_________

Beelzebub: *eating as usual, with you hanging out next to him*

MC: You’re so lucky you have the motivation to workout as much as you eat... for me, I even look at a chip and gain several pounds.

Beel: It just takes a lot of work and discipline. Plus, I also play sports.

MC: I guess you can say you got all your bases covered.

Beel: *smirks* Don’t start this, you don’t want none of this.

MC: Oh you gonna block my goal of trying to make you laugh?

Beel: Only if you start by making your shot.

MC: Then I’ll just serve it to you.

Beel: I’ll spike it back down to you.

MC: Heh, well, I guess I could spare you a few more jokes.

Beel: That’s when I’ll strike when you least expect it.

MC: And I’ll have a turkey of my best ones waiting for your one.

Beel: *chuckles* That was a stretch... but now I want some turkey...

MC: *chuckles as well* I win~. Thanks for being a good sport.

Beel: *laughs* You’re too much...

_______

Belphegor: *snuggled up to MC’s chest*

MC: *smiles* Hey, Belphie.

Belphie: Hmm?

MC: What does James Bond so before he goes to bed?

Belphie: *already smirking* What does he do?

MC: He goes under cover.

Belphie: *snickers* you are such a dork.

MC: How does the moon cut its hair?

Belphie: *snuggled up to you closer, hiding his smile* How?

MC: Eclipse it.

Belphie: *snorts* you have one more time before I start tickling you.

MC: Speaking of, how many tickles does it take to make Cthulhu laugh?

Belphie: *raises his head to look directly up at you* How many?

MC: *already starting to giggle* Tentickles.

Belphie: *starts a tickle war* Thahat’s it!

MC: You’re going down! *laughs and tickles back!*

#obey me #one master to rule them all #obey me main character #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #dad jokes #puns #comedy #devildom dad jokes #tickles at the end

[razorblade180]

Frost family in a nutshell

Adam: *a menace to society*

Jacquelyn:Hey I’m going out shopping. Turkey is in the oven; I’ll whoop your ass if of burns. Love you! *Closes door*

Adam:...That threat was unnecessary but okay I guess...

xxxxx

Toddler Jael:Dad, can I have breakfast for dinner?

Adam:What did your mom say?

Jael:Aren’t you the man of the house?

Adam:Yes, and your mom is the maiden of this house and Remnant; I am out ranked.

xxxxx

Adam:*getting life together* It’s kinda nice not having to be in a tense situation every waking moment.

Sienna:Hey dad, what happened to women you named me after?

Adam:.....

Adam:Set myself up for this one I guess....

xxxxx

Neo:*opens front door* Yo boss, I need you to approve this hit li-

Kid Jael:*braiding a Barbie*

Sienna:*braiding Jael*

Adam:*braiding Sienna*.....

Neo:....Can I braid your hair?

Adam:Really, that’s how you wanna approach this?

Neo:Please?

Adam:Sigh......no pictures.

Neo:Yes!

xxxxx

Adam:I’m home. How’s everything going?

Jael:*staring at a noodle bowl*.....

Adam:Woah, that’s quite a pile in front of you.

Jael:I cooked two packs because I thought I was that hungry. I forgot how much they fill when cooked. I’ve been here for twenty minutes.

Adam:Well if you’re full then dump the rest.

Jael:Yeah but....we’re poor. I don’t wanna waste your money.

Adam:Jael...*pats head* their noodle packs. You’d have to throw away twenty just to waste five dollars.

Jael:Oh yeah. *pushes bowl away* kinda forgot that part.

xxxxx

Sienna:Hey dad, I got a question.

Adam:Fire away.

Sienna:Am I pretty?

Adam:...Yes?

Sienna:*squints* Ummm I would’ve liked more certainty in that answer!

Adam:Sorry. It’s just...this never was a thing you seemed to concern yourself with. Other’s opinion I mean.

Sienna:*red* Yeah well you’re not other people. It would be nice for my father to think his daughter was pretty. Even if I don’t have your gene-

Adam:You’re a beautiful young woman.

Sienna:Shut up! You can’t just say things like that! *storms off*

Adam:....(Why am I a parent?)

xxxxx

Jael:This society is warped. Change needs to happen. A change I’ll bring about with my own hands.

Adam and Jacquelyn: *sweating* Like....?

Jael:.....*shrugs* I don’t know. I’ll be a huntress I guess and help people.

Jacquelyn:Oh thank the gods.

Adam:Really thought we royally screwed up parenting for moment.

Jael:???

xxxxx

Adam:....How did this happen?

Sienna:Simple. He knocked, and I took action. Not my fault you didn’t tell me others knew where we lived.

Sun:*hogtied* Twerp, we’ve met before! Several times!

Sienna:You keep saying that but there’s no proof. I would remember a monkey faunus.

Sun:Like you remember Neo?

Sienna:.....Dad do I know this man?

Adam:Yea you do sweetie. Nice knot work though. Very resourceful.

Sun:I’m never picking up things for your house ever again.

Adam:Jacquelyn is making a roast tonight.

Sun:Uuuggghhhh! I guess I’ll put up with this.

Sienna:You sure I know him?

xxxxx

Phone rings

Kali:Hello?

Adam:It’s m-

Kali:*hangs up*.....

Ghira:Honey-

Kali:Fuck him...

Ghira:We made a promise. Let’s not make a liar out of our daughter.

Phone rings

Kali:....*answers* This better be good or el-

Adam:The baby is sick, and Jacquelyn is too.

Kali:....

Half an hour later, the Belladonna’s door was opened and let in a little tiger girl holding her baby sister, who were both guided by a giant man. Kali stared at tired and almost drained eyes that were once hidden by a grimm mask

Adam:Thank-

Kali:It’s for the children and mother, not you. Please leave.

Adam:Of course. Just make sure Jael takes her meds every six hours, and rush to a hospital if-

Kali:I know the signs. Your child will be in good hands. The safest hands.

Adam:Right....

Sienna:Excuse me?

Kali:Hmmm? Yes little-

Sienna:Don’t talk to him like that.

Kali:....

Ghira:....

Adam:Umm, Sienna it’s ok-

Sienna:No! It’s not. Who’s rude to someone that just carried two kids through the desert? They should’ve came to us. Now you gotta walk back to take care of-

Adam:It’s fine. This woman like many other people, have been wronged by me. You know that. Fortunately, her heart is big enough to care about you and your sister. That’s enough, so thank her.

Sienna:.......No. She can judge your past all she wants, but what’s the first thing she knows about your parenting? She hung up on you too.

Adam:That’s...I’m sorry about her Sienna.

Kali:.....No worries. Not like she’s lying. Anyways....Ghira, sigh can you make sure this father makes it home to his wife.

Adam:!?

Ghira:Consider it done.

Before Adam could register the gesture, he was already being guided away by Ghira, the door closing behind them. Kali looked at a scowling little girl that had her fangs barley hidden. Footsteps from upstairs made them both look up to see Blake walking down the stairs with her hand out. Sienna’s expression immediately softened and took hold of Blake. The young woman put the small girl in her arms and went back upstairs. All while keeping a neutral expression that was pretty easy considering she had just woken up.

Blake:I’ll take care of this one while you tend to the baby.

Sienna:How much did you hear?

Blake:Enough. As your loving daughter, I understand. However, as the High Leader, please respect the rules and authority I’ve set, even if it’s uncomfortable. *smiles* Please?

Kali:Sigh....yes ma’am.

Blake:*walks away*

Sienna:Thank you....Mrs. Belladonna.

Blake:Thank you by apologize to the actual Mrs. Belladonna tomorrow, okay? I still have several months to go before I get that title too.

Sienna:Yes ma’am.

#rwby #rwby au #blake belladonna #kali belladonna #jacquelyn frost #my ocs #jael frost #sienna frost #ghira belladonna #sun wukong #neo politan #rwbabies #adam taurus

[jadekitty777]

On Your Six, Chapter 8

You’re going to be offended when I tell you I’m still not done. How did this happen? How did this end chapter get so long that I have to break it in half and I still have not finished it? 

Oh right, I wrote myself into a corner and had to get myself out of it in the most outlandish way possible. Yeah that checks out.

For now please enjoy chapter 8 of what is now a 9-chapter story. Because I have no self control.

Day 8: Free Day for @taiqrowweek

Rating:  T for this chapter, M for overall

Words: 6.5k

Summary: Qrow was what most of society would call a small-town criminal. But to those oppressed, he hoped only to be a healer. In an effort to make a change in the world, he moves from kingdom to kingdom, searching for branded omegas in need. His goal? To turn the derogatory words the reformatories forced them to bear on their skin into works of art.

Then one day, his past catches up to him in the form of Taiyang, his former best friend, with a brand of his own stained onto his skin and a plea for help in his eyes. Qrow has no choice but to answer, even if it means he’d have to face his mistakes once and for all.

[An ABO-style universe in a modern-day style Remnant. No Grimm, because people are the real monsters in this one]

Ao3 Link: Hang...

~

Qrow was thirty-two when it finally happened.

He was working out of Mantle on the cusp of winter. The bustling, compact metropolis had become a bit of a mainstay for him over the years, thanks to his connections with the Omega Alliance. The political party had formed half a decade ago, heralded by none other than Robyn Hill. The movement was quickly becoming a worldwide spectacle, with more factions forming in every major city of the four kingdoms almost every week. With the main branch strategically close to Atlas though, it had become a media-struggle to both stay in the spotlight and to silence the oppressed.

It was just the kind of thing that might turn the tides for omega rights once and for all.

However, for Qrow, the Alliance had become a bit of a safe haven. The group had welcomed him in with open arms and encouraged him to continue his work, with the stipulation the Alliance would be endorsing the rebranding efforts in their press conferences and rallies. In turn, he was given a ‘secret nesting spot’ no matter where he seemed to travel to and a donation fund that kept him so well off, Tai stopped trying to measure his waistline with his eyes whenever he came to visit. All the while, his anonymity was kept intact and his clientele full.

It seemed like an eternity since he’d been able to live so comfortably.

Which led him to where he was that fateful day. The Greenleaf Inn was a well-sized, three-star hotel that always conveniently had its mini-suite open whenever he was around. The bed alone was worth its weight in lien, but the mini-bar fridge and spa tub made him feel like he was a king. The extra space also allowed for more pleasant accommodations for his clients.

That day, he was working with a young journalist by the name of Forest. He was a chatterer and a bit of a political enthusiast, his support for the Alliance borderline fanatic. Most of their time was spent discussing current events.

“Vacuo’s press conference is all in an uproar. Pride leader Kali can’t even get a word in edgewise; no one’s listening to her. It’s all looking pretty bad – then her Alpha gets to his feet. He’s like a monster of a man – wider than a truck and tall as a house. Everyone shuts up when he clears his throat and says his mate has something to say. Then he just sits down and lets her talk. Sienna reported that Kali turned into a real lioness and took charge!” Forest mimicked the swiping of claws. “It was spectacular! But of course, the headlines are all about what Ghira did and Kali’s performance is just a side note. It’s always about the alphas – uh, no offense.”

Well maybe discussing was too strong a term. “None taken.” Qrow replied offhandedly from the floor, more concerned with getting the arch of the fox’s face just right where it curled over the shin bone. He wasn’t even sure Forest heard him anyways.

“Suppose the end result is what matters though. Vacuo was the last agenda we needed to be on. Now we’re ensured the UFK really starts discussing omega affairs this winter. And I think-”

He never did find out what Forest thought – because a rapping on the door cut him off. Qrow turned off his pen, wary as he got to his feet. It wasn’t typical he got visitors out of the blue.

Then a voice shouted from the other side. ���Harbinger, hurry up!”

“May?” Forest sat upright.

Qrow was already across the room in two strides, throwing open the door. The blue-haired omega was in a state, her scent bleeding panic as she cut right to the chase, “You need to get out of here! The police are in the lobby, looking for you!”

“What?!” He barked, heart rate skyrocketing. “But how?”

May pushed him back, hurrying inside. “Don’t know. Joanna’s trying to stall, but we only got a few minutes at most before this place is crawling. What do you need? Forest, you too, get up!”

The reporter seemed to snap out of his daze, jumping to his feet. “Why don’t we just hide in another room?”

“That might work for you, but not him. They’re gonna raze this place from the ground up.”

“Then hide him. I’m going down the stairwell.” Qrow insisted, having already thrown his kit back together and snapping the case closed. He got to his feet, pulling his scroll from his pocket. “Here. Destroy it.”

She looked from the device to him, uncertain. “But I can help-”

“No.” He barely withheld the growl. “You’re a lead member of Atlas’ branch. They see you helping me and the kingdom’s gonna run with the bad press. You don’t need that, especially not with the UFK assembly so close.”

For one long terrible moment, he was certain she was going to keep arguing. But any bluster was blown out with a heavy sigh and a helpless, “Good luck.”

He was going to need it.

~

“Shit.” Qrow cursed as he caught a gander of the lobby floor from the little window in the stairwell door. The place was crawling. He could already see a pair of officers at the elevator doors. There was almost definitely one at every exit point as well.

He backed up, trying to think. There was no way he was getting out undetected and the moment they started questioning him or asking for identification, he was going to be in trouble. He thought about reconsidering Forest’s idea – but even if they played a game of Scooby Doo chase with the cops, it wasn’t going to be long before they caught sight of him. He couldn’t just go up to his room and wait for the inevitable either.

He was trapped. His only hope was if he spontaneously learned how to fly.

Unless… He tilted his head up, looking at the flights of stairs. Which went all the way up to the roof.

The buildings weren’t that far apart.

It was crazy. But, it might be his only chance.

Qrow shoved his tattoo kit underneath the last stairwell, pushing it in the corner until the black case was hidden in the shadows. It would be too heavy to take with him. He’d just have to hope no one would be able to find it in the meantime. Appeased, he rushed up the stairs, trying to take several at a time. He was about halfway up the third when he heard the first-floor door open. He froze.

“You really think he’ll come down this way?” A voice, high and reedy, floated up from below.

The other voice was gruff and masculine. “You heard the chief, Viola. She wants all exits covered.”

“Just seems excessive Taylor. All of us for a guy not even hurting anyone.”

“Rookie, I’ll give you some advice: the judgment calls are for the courts. We just need to do our jobs. And yours right now is to get to that top floor in case our perp makes a break for the roof, capeesh?”

She sighed. “Got it.”

The first footfall hit the steps.

Qrow thought about it for half a second – and then he bolted.

Surprise was on his side, because it took the officers a precious few seconds to understand before their shouts rang up and they started chasing after him. He could hear Taylor fumbling with a radio, calling for backup. By that point, Qrow was bypassing the second floor and heading toward the third.

“Stop! Police!” Viola’s voice cracked on the yell.

He felt kind of bad, scaring the newbie. Had he had any breath left, he might have shouted back an apology. As it were, all his focus went onto the stairs in front of him, trying his best not to fall as he climbed five… six… seven… eight-

Bam!

The roof access door swung open and hit the brick. He paused long enough to scope his options –apartment complex to the left, half a story lower, flat rooftop; warehouse to the right, higher, guardrail fencing on the perimeter – before he made a decision and skirted left. The ground underneath him was slippery from rainfall that had frosted over with late autumn’s crisper temperatures, so he struggled for traction, preparing to jump.

“Don’t do it!” Viola yelled just as he did it.

For a moment, as he leapt over ten feet through the air, nothing below but a sharp drop to the alleyway, he felt weightless and free.  He really was flying.

And then realty was rushing up to meet him as his feet hit the opposite roof, slipped on the ice, and slipped again when his hands weren’t enough to catch him. The impact, mostly taken on his right side, was jarring and left him a little breathless and aching. Still, he was able to stand a few moments after, turning back to look at the officers staring down at him across the gap.

“Ha! Better luck next time turkeys!” Qrow saluted them before he strut towards the roof hatch. Now all he had to do was-

Wait.

Why was everything spinning?

The distant sound of cars was fading, and as he lifted his hand to his face, he watched it double before his eyes.

Shit. He was gonna-

The ground rushed up to meet him a second time, having just enough consciousness left to land on his back.

He watched the sky above him until the last star blinked out.

~

She’d been staring at him for the past five minutes.

He could just barely see her above the pages of the newspaper he was pretending to read. He figured she would eventually go and pester her dad, just one room over and making quite a racket in the kitchen as Tai no doubt overdid it in trying to be the perfect host (and would only try harder if Qrow told him it was no big deal). But the longer he tried to wait her out, the more it became obvious his niece had a mission and he was part of it.

Eventually he folded – both the newspaper and his resolve – and turned to her, trying not to be appear as intimated by a mere child as he actually kind of was, “Something wrong?”

Yang lifted her chin up high, stomped her way over from the staircase to his little corner of the couch, and slammed a box of markers down on the coffee table. “Make me pretty.”

“Huh?”

“Like daddy.” She said with great exasperation. She climbed up beside him and with the lack of shame only children could have pulled off the shirt of her PJs and turned so her back could face him. “I want to be pretty too.”

Understanding slowly dawned on him. “Shouldn’t we ask your dad first?”

“I did, he said it was fine.” She hadn’t but Tai thought it was too adorable to be mad about it.

“Alright then.” Qrow turned, pulling a blue marker from the box. But when he turned back to face her, the pen was now black and Yang was two years older. “What do you want this time firecracker?”

“A motorcycle!” She shouted, bouncing excitedly.

He laughed, draping her long hair over her shoulder. “A motorcycle? Now what would a girl like you want that for?”

“I’ma get one when I’m older. Daddy said! I can get a real motorcycle when I turn eighteen.” She told him.

He uncapped the marker. “And that’s what you want, huh?”

“Yep.” She nodded. “He said I could get a real tattoo too, as long as I think really hard about it since this one won’t come off in the bath.”

Qrow started to outline the wheels. “That’s right. You want to make sure it’s something you want forever.”

“Once I decide, you’ll do it for me, right?”

The words halted him momentarily, overcome by the sudden fondness filling his heart. “’Course I will.”  

“You swear?” Yang turned her head, trying to look serious but only managing to look adorably pouty. “Even if they pop out your eyes?”

The snort of surprise burst out of him. “It’s scratch out your eyes – and yes, even then.” And just so she could know that he meant it, he crossed an X over his heart.

“Good.”

He pressed the marker back to her skin, moving onto the bike’s frame, when Tai called out to him, “Qrow, look!”

He rose his head, looking out across the yard to see the omega holding a square, plywood board between his hands. As he gave the nod, Yang didn’t hesitate to bust her fist right through it.

“Looking good!” Qrow called back, before turning back to Ruby. Draped over his lap so she could reach her toys, she was making little action noises with her mouth as she crushed Bastinda underneath Zwei’s massive paws. He was just adding the color to the fur of the corgi version on her back.

A sharp movement had Bastinda flying down the porch steps and a stripe of white going all over her back. Luckily, six-year-olds weren’t picky.

“Bye, bye mean witch.” Ruby waved before she started taking her wolf on a walk along his side. “Uncle Qrow, who’s your favorite?”

He wrinkled his nose, trying not to think of the shoddy reboot that was slowly destroying the integrity of the original. Still, he answered honestly, “Rosette.”

“Why?”

“’Cause she was the big hero.” He explained. “I wanted to be just like her growing up.”

Her eyes lit up. “And now you are her, right?”

He quirked a brow. “What do you mean?”

“Daddy told me that’s why you’re gone so long, ‘cause you’re out making the world a better place.” Another stripe went down her back. She blinked curiously. “Why’d your face go all red?”

“Ah, nevermind that! Hey, you know what this needs?” He looked away, grabbing at the pink marker.

It was the same color his cheeks had been by the time he was turning back around, no longer outside but sitting up in Ruby’s room, consoling the sniffling ten-year-old the only way he knew how.

As he added to the growing chain of roses growing along her shoulder blades, he said, “Don’t let them get to you kid.”

“But it’s not fair! I’m way faster at running bases than Cardin, but they made me sit on the bench the whole time! I didn’t even get to play.” She swiped angrily at her eyes.

If Qrow listened real hard, he could hear Tai’s voice rising from downstairs. The phone call didn’t seem to be going well. “You’re right, it’s not fair at all. Do you know why your teacher did that?”

“Because,” Ruby buried her face in her pillow, the rest coming out muffled, “I’m going to be an omega and omegas don’t do great things.”

He was glad she couldn’t see his scowl. “Who told you that?”

“Everyone knows that.”

“I don’t.” He capped the marker, setting it aside before shifting on his knees, brushing back her hair with his fingers. “Because I’ve met omegas from all over the world, and so many of them are doing great things every single day. Dangerous things even, all so that they can make things more fair for everyone. They’re some of the bravest people I know.”

She rose her head. “Really?”

“Really. But you know what the big secret is?” He lent back, tapping his scent gland. “It doesn’t matter what’s here.” He tapped his head. “It matters what’s in here. As long as you put your mind to it and work hard at it, then there’s nothing you can’t do.”

Ruby considered this, asking, “You’re not just saying that?”

“Hey now, take it from the alpha who can draw. I know my stuff kiddo.”

It earned him one of the few things she seemed to share with her dad – a bright, beautiful smile. But as she went to a respond, a knocking on the door drew his attention.

Qrow blinked blearily at the cell doors where the guard was banging his nightstick against the metal. “Branwen, up! You got a visitor.”

Gingerly, he pulled himself up, his healing ribs screaming in protest at the movement. It took several moments longer before he could actually stand and shuffle his way out the door, following the guard down the hall. He kept his head down, not wanting to meet eyes with any of the other prisoners.

Since he was injured, he was being kept in the protective custody side of the prison. It had its bonuses – he didn’t have to share a cell or run through the motions the general population side did. He also didn’t have to cuff up when they let him out of his cell, mostly because they couldn’t get them on around the sling. The downside was the PC side of the jail was also where the most violent criminals were kept. There was one inmate in particular who-

“Oh little bird, you’ve come fluttering my way yet again.” Tyrian jeered.

-particularly got on his nerves. Qrow didn’t look up, but that didn’t stop the fierce growl from leaving his throat. The serial killer only cackled at his display.

If this was what it was like in here, he wasn’t entirely sure how he’d survive once he was reassigned into GP. A whole room full of alphas, all of them constantly competing for dominance, was a disaster waiting to happen. Not for the first time since he’d arrived, did he start wishing he’d presented differently. He’d have better chances in an omega-beta prison.

So preoccupied he was by his anxious thoughts, he’d forgotten entirely why he was out of bed in the first place until he was walking into the visitor’s area. The section was marked by a row of doors, each one leading into a small room that had nothing more than a few chairs and a wooden counter separated in half by bulletproof plexiglass. There was a metal, slated ring in it to allow the two parties to talk.

The guard unlocked the rightmost room, saying, “You’ve got one hour,” before swinging open the door.

Seeing a familiar face, even if it was only Clover Ebi’s, filled him with so much joy he could have cried.

The soldier was all smiles for him, though the cursory look over he gave him left a twist of worry at the corner of his eyes. “Hey Qrow. I’m so relieved to see you. You look… rough.”

“What gave that implication? The fractured wrist or the three broken ribs?” He replied tightly, delicately sitting down. “Suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you know my name either.”

“’Fraid everyone does at this point. You’re all over the news.”

He grimaced. “Internationally?”

“If I said no, would it make you feel better?”

“Not if I know you’re lying.” Gods, Tai was probably having a heart attack right now. And the girls… he wondered if they even fully understood what was going on. He raked a hand through his hair. “Fuck.”

Clover’s expression was one of sympathy. “Hey, it’ll be alright. Now that I’ve found you, we can get you a good lawyer, rather than the pro bono one they appointed you to. Robyn’s already running rallies in the streets of every kingdom and donation rings to hire the best in the business. And Fiona’s calling about a dozen firms a day. She’s already got-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Qrow cut him off, disoriented. “Slow down trigger. I get I’m not in a great position, but isn’t that a bit excessive for a small end criminal court case? And anyways, it’s not like I’m going to trial tomorrow.”

His flippancy only seemed to make the omega more agitated as he lent back, running a hand over his face. “Oh shit. They didn’t assign you a counsel, did they?”

“I’m not that depressed.”

“A legal counsel Qrow!” He scoffed. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Okay, now he was so off-track he wasn’t even sure he boarded the train. “Am I… missing something?”

With a deep breath, Clover schooled his features, resting his arms along the tabletop to lean forward. “Qrow, your crime is being considered as a global offense. They’re expediating your case through the process so you can be tried at the UFK.”

Realty cracked and shattered around him.

“W-What?!” He squawked, panic setting in immediately. “Are you fucking serious?!” When the other could only offer him a solemn nod, Qrow withdrew, dropping his head onto the table and curling his one good arm around his face, as if it would be enough to shield him from the future. “Oh Gods. Oh fuck.”

He was screwed. Utterly and royally.

The UFK, or United Four Kingdoms, assembly was a yearly session of the kingdom’s four heads of state and their councils. Mostly it was a peace gathering, a way to discuss the improvements or needs of each kingdom and provide support or discuss any eco-social changes that may need addressing. It was why the Alliance had been so prominent in recent months; so that the four heads might talk about potential alternations to omega rights. A discussion that had not been gaining enough, if any, traction in the past few years. That was why Robyn had organized the ‘Prides’ – a central team in each kingdom whose sole job was to attend the national press conferences and make a loud enough roar that the council would have to take notice. Each one had done a fantastic job, and the news channels had been bustling with stories about how this year’s session would absolutely have to focus on the matter of omega equality.

And in one fell swoop, Qrow had ruined that.

Trials weren’t unheard of at the UFK, but they were extremely rare. In the eighty years the assembly had been convening, there’d only been three prior cases that had gone to court there and each one had had a huge impact on universal laws. If he was tried and convicted, there was no telling what impact his case would have.

A tapping on the glass made him look up tentatively.

Clover’s jaw was set with determination. “It’s okay, Qrow. We’re here to help you.”

“No!” He sat up, gritting his teeth around the pain it caused him. “None of you should get involved! I can’t drag you down with me.”

“Qrow, think for a minute – do you really believe your arrest was just a coincidence?”

That drew him up short. “I…”

“Face it, you’re not exactly impossible to locate. Someone’s probably known where you were for a while and they were just waiting for the perfect moment to bring you in.” He indicated the air around them. “And this is it. The absence of counsel, the lack of prep time, keeping your whereabouts classified. It all adds up. They’re trying to turn you into a scapegoat.”

It was hard logic to beat. Qrow wasn’t exactly uninformed on just how messed up the legal system could be – and the more involved he’d gotten with his work, the deeper the rabbit hole just seemed to go. But to have it be twisted onto him in such a way, like he was merely everyone else’s plaything, made him feel violated.

He wondered how his mother would have felt, seeing him like this.

“So now what?” Qrow finally asked.

“Now, we fight back.” Clover replied assuredly. “Your case could be a gamechanger for omegas everywhere. We aren’t just going to lie down and watch it happen.”

He snorted. “So you’re turning the scapegoat into a martyr.”

“No.” The soldier declined, then added with a quirk of his lips, “We’re turning you into our harbinger.”

It took Qrow a moment to get it. Then he laughed.

A harbinger of change. There might just be some hope left after all.

~

Three days later, he met his defense attorneys.

Pietro was a kindly, wheelchair-bound beta with thirty years of experience. The minute the man started talking, it was obvious he knew his stuff as he lined out what to expect for the court process and what laws that may entangle them from certain kingdoms they might have to prepare for. Things Qrow hadn’t even considered, like operating a business out of a building with only a residential grade fire system – a law the more wildfire prone Mistral took very seriously.

His understudy was named Rhodes. Also a beta, as all lawyers were, the man had only a few years on Qrow himself, but he had a sharp wit and passionate aspiration for justice. He spent most of the time keeping a detailed note log on the things being said, explaining it would help them decide on the best strategy to use when they were in front of the UFK.

“The most difficult thing we have to contend with is time.” Rhodes affirmed. “Unlike most high-profile cases handled in the courts, the kingdoms aren’t going to allow the hearing to go beyond a single day so it doesn’t interfere with the other agendas they have to get too. That means limited evidence presentation and witness testimonies. We’ve got about eight hours to prove you’re an innocent man, which means every second in that room is going to count.”

Qrow swallowed hard. “What about the jury? They on a time limit too?”

“No. The jury are the councils.” Pietro explained. “The members of each kingdom’s council board will give their verdict, and it’s the majority vote of each council that decides their verdict. As long as you get a unanimous majority, you’ll be given your verdict. So, our focus will need to be on swaying each kingdom individually.”

Yeah. No pressure.

Rhodes tapped the end of his pen on the desk between them. “As you can see, it’s a bit of a balancing act. Ideally, our witness testimonies need to come from all over. If you can get us even just a moderate list of people from each kingdom you believe would be willing to speak for you then we can scope out the best choice from each one.”

“Perhaps.” The elder beta intoned, rubbing his chin. “Though Vale may not need any pushing. Our focus should truly lie in targeting the kingdom’s core values.”

“We also need to make sure to address the issues with improper due process.”

“A fine point.”

“I hope you both know I’m barely keeping up with this.” Qrow admitted.

Pietro smiled forgivingly. “Don’t worry your head about it, my boy. Just focus on giving us everything we can possibly work with to keep you out of jail. Do you have any family or friends who might speak on your credibility of character?”

There was only one person that came to mind – and there was no way he would even dare suggest Tai to spill his whole story for millions to hear.

“No.” He replied shortly.

“Not even-”

“Really. No. My old man’s a deadbeat. I haven’t seen my sister in over a decade. And unless these things come with a séance, my mom ain’t gonna have much to say either.” He lent back, shrugging his good shoulder. “As for friends, I haven’t exactly been living stably to form many close relationships. ‘Fraid I won’t be much use on that list either – never kept a detailed record to keep my clients safe. But, I know someone who just might be able to rally up a few.”

Pietro nodded. “Then let’s start there.”

Thankfully, that was the last time they asked him about family.

~

One day short of a week later, he was visited by someone other than his attorneys.

This time, the sight of a familiar face did actually make him cry, even if Tai immediately laid into him.

“You jumped off a roof?! What in the Gods’ Realms were you thinking? You could have died!” Tai smacked his hand on the table for emphasis. He wasn’t even sitting, too agitated to. Had the glass not been separating them, he was pretty sure he would have been in for the ear pinching of his life. “Are you okay, or did the fall knock out what little brain cells you have left?!”

Yet, the omega’s worry was so strong, Qrow could scent it through the little holes in the metal ringlet. It was familiar and more comforting then even a single second locked up in this awful place could even marginally hope to feel like. So, he broke down harder.

Tai sighed and gave up, dropping his forehead against the glass. Qrow struggled to reign himself in, but the days had been too long, too awful and too terrifying to stop the broken dam. The most he managed to get out was a wobbly, “m’sorry.” As he curled himself over the desk.

They hovered there, in silence.

Then, for the second time in his life, Tai purred at him, “I‘m here. You’re okay.”

It was like being draped in an extra soft blanket or pulled into an exceptionally warm hug, something he felt from the inside out. The shakes started to fade and the tears slowed to a drizzle, and then even that went away.

When he lifted his head, Qrow could almost pretend the outburst hadn’t happened at all. “Sorry, meds I’m on just make me emotional.”

“Sure they do.” Tai let him lie, finally taking his seat with the heavy gracelessness of someone who just got off an overnight flight.

While there were at least a dozen questions he wanted to ask, the most prominent came forward first: “Where are the girls?”

“In the waiting room. Ruby got scared. Somehow she got it in her head you’d be crippled.” He gave him a disdainful look, “Can’t imagine why she’d think that.”

He hid his grimace behind a smile, “Shoulda just told her birds my age can fly.”

It was the wrong thing to say as Tai scowled. “Don’t joke! Seriously, I can’t believe how idiotic that was. You’re lucky that little stunt only resulted in a few injuries.”

“Well, I ain’t feeling very lucky.” He snapped back. “Seriously what did you want me to do?”

The omega threw up his hands. “Not try to kill yourself! Do you know how terrified I was?! And then I couldn’t find you no matter how many jails and hospitals I called and I thought-!” His shoulder dropped. “I don’t know what I thought.”

But Qrow knew. He knew exactly what kind of worst-case scenarios must have played through his head when suddenly Qrow was all over the headlines after he tried to escape police arrest and was transported to a nearby care facility for his injuries, only to then disappear completely, the system deliberately hiding him to secure him for the big case. It wasn’t until he’d started meeting with Pietro and Rhodes that he’d learnt just how many infringements of his rights there’d already been. He wasn’t even supposed to be in a prison without being tried first. They were trying to work it into his case.

“If it weren’t for Robyn I never would of even of found you.”

Qrow’s confusion spiked. “Wait, how do you know her?”

“I don’t. She called me off your scroll.” So much for destroying it. “Once she got me in the loop, I took the first flight over I could.”

He didn’t know whether to feel thankful, or violated.

Wait.

He sucked in a sharp breath. Robyn was the one he’d directed his attorney team too. “She didn’t tell you anything else, did she? About the trial?”

“She just told me you were going in for it soon and that you could use some support.” Tai replied. “They aren’t really letting anyone in to see you if they can’t show that they’re family. I had to bring Yang’s birth certificate just to get in here.”

(Qrow might have cited Clover – if he wasn’t fairly certain the man could get himself into anywhere on badges and charisma alone.)

Still, relief swept through him. By whatever graces of the Gods there were, it sounded like Robyn had played him straight on this one. She must have figured out why he’d chosen not to disclose that information himself – and of that he could be grateful. He’d rather spend a hundred years in jail then let any of his family take the stand.

Now he just had to make sure Tai didn’t screw the pooch instead.

“Just be careful with that little tidbit. If the press gets a whiff of it, they’ll be all over you.” He warned.

If anything, Tai seemed insulted. “I’m not afraid of some headliners. I can handle it.”

“Can the girls?” The statement drew the omega up short. Qrow felt bad, playing that card, but it wasn’t like reporters had a moral compass. “Just being realistic. This case isn’t exactly coasting quietly under the table, and the last thing I want is my family being dragged into it all ‘cause of my mistakes.”

“They’re not mistakes.”

“Renegade behavior then.”

“You-!” Tai sighed, running a hand down his face frustratedly. “Stop that. You’re not a joke, you know?”

It was Qrow’s turn to draw up short, heart catching in his throat.

Tai barreled on, unconcerned with his organ transplant. “I’m proud of what you do. More than that, I believe in what you do. You make a difference, every day, even if it seems small. You wouldn’t have risked so much, if you didn’t think that yourself. So will you please try to trust in that, so you can tell those judges where to shove it?”

Still stuck in limbo, his heart pressed insistently against his voice box, willing him to say those accursed three words that desperately wanted to burst out. Instead, all he managed was a wheeze of laughter, and a quiet, “I will.”

“Good.” Satisfied, Tai got to his feet. “I’m going to go get the girls, okay?”

“Okay.” He watched him head for the door, calling just as he opened it. “And Tai?”

“Yeah?”

“…Thank you.”

For supporting me.

For being here with me.

For always knowing just what I need to hear.

He couldn’t decide on what was most important to say, so it all got stuck just like before.

Tai smiled like he’d heard them all regardless. “Anytime.”

~

“Are you ready, my boy?”

Qrow looked away from the airship window, where the Amity Tower was looming, to Pietro’s kind smile. It did little to calm the storm in his stomach. “Pretty sure no one’s ever ‘ready’ for this. My whole life’s about to be decided by a bunch of rich assholes who’ve probably never used the word ‘struggle’ in their lives.”

“Then I suppose it’s up to you to define it for them.”

He scoffed, falling back against the glass. “Hate to tell you this wheels, but English was my worst class.”

That at least earned him a hearty laugh. “You know there’s a saying among us lawyers: You don’t cry until it’s all over. So for now, keep your chin up and fight hard.”

Would be an easier fight if it didn’t feel like he was armed with only a pocketknife going against a trove of machine guns. Still, he couldn’t deny the weight of that sentiment. Especially knowing there was so much more to this fight than just what would happen to him.

Momentarily, as he shut his eyes, he could see Ruby. Coming home with tears streaming down her face after being told she wasn’t good enough to play baseball like the other kids. What if her fears were realized and she did present omega? What if she didn’t and, beyond all expectation, Yang did instead? What if one day, someone decided to throw either one of them into a reformatory and he wasn’t there to overwrite the wrongs?

The idea made him sick inside.

He rose up, facing Pietro once more. “Alright then, let’s do this.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Qrow tried to hold onto that feeling of confidence as long as he could as he continued to watch Amity Tower draw near. Like a beacon welcoming travelers to its side, the building stood alone on the seaside of the most northern part of Sanus. It wasn’t really a tower – it was more akin to a concert hall in size and shape. But it got its name from the spire that shot up in the middle of the roof. The decorative piece was meant to mimic the communication towers that each kingdom built to allow for scroll communication across the nations. A display that proclaimed this place would always be a venue in which the kingdoms could speak freely to one another.

As they began their descent towards the airstrip, he finally noticed the crowd. Circling Amity like a school of sharks were dozens upon dozens of people. They were spilling out along the grand front steps and thickly congested across the massive lawn area to the point barely a patch of green could be seen.

“What in all realms is going on?” Qrow breathed. He’d expected a few news reporters, sure. But nothing like this.

Before he could answer, Pietro’s scroll began to ring. He was quick to answer it. “Ah Rhodes, got here safely then? How are the witnesses doing?”

“Everyone is settled and prepared.” He replied assuredly. “Heard you guys were touching down, so I figured I’d warn you about the protest group.”

“Group?” Qrow echoed. “That’s an army. What are they even protesting?”

“Your arrest.”

His head snapped around; eyes wide.

Rhodes continued, unaware, “They’re all omegas or omega supporters from every nation in Remnant. They’ve been gathering here for days.”

“Incredible.” Pietro declared, adjusting his spectacles. “In all my years, I’ve never seen something quite like this.”

The rest of the conversation faded to background noise as he turned back towards the window, something unexplainable but good lifting him. Somewhere inside of him, he knew they weren’t really here for him, but what he represented. He was a loose cog in the machine, a shift from the system, a shield against the onslaught of endless ammo. Or, as Clover had jokingly coined, their harbinger of change.

Yet it didn’t stop him from feeling overwhelmed with support as the doors to the airship opened and the roar of cheers started up. It was a massive, thunderous noise that shook him to his very core then solidified there like an unbreakable diamond, giving him strength he hadn’t had just minutes ago.

Even as he was led out in cuffs, barred between two officers, he found himself walking tall. Like land making way for a river, the crowd parted for them. Some were carrying signs that said things like ‘Justice for Qrow’ and ‘Branwen can win’. There was even a really ridiculous one that said ‘Uncage our bird!’, complete with an illustration of a crow in a birdcage.

They made him smile, as did the few encouragements that he managed to pick out from rumble of hollers trying to reach him.

“You got this!”

“We’re here with you!”

“Your story’s not over yet!”

He carried it all the way up the stairs and through the entrance. Yet, as the large ornate double doors swung closed behind him, it muffled most of the noise.

Silenced once more.

#qrow branwen #taiyang xiao long #Taiqrow #taiqrowweek #rwby #fanfiction #Chase Firekitten's Tale

[rwbyconversations]

RWBY Volume 7 Review

Two weeks out from Volume 8 and I finally cared enough to write this. Go team I guess. 

Part of it came down to my feelings on Volume 7. It’s a complicated season that’s made me realize a lot of my overall feelings on RWBY as a series, particularly a lot of the less flattering feelings. Volume 7 is just... frustrating in general, as for all the good that it does have, and it does have a lot of great elements to it, it’s let down by a frustrating script and writing choices that feel distinctly amateurish, especially as the series moves on and gets better and better looking each year. There’s elements and kernals here of great character writing, season-wide arcs that land in a really good way and get me emotionally invested in the characters. But on the other... Ren only has two hundred words the entire season and you can tell! 

Volume 7 is a season of dizzying highs, some of the best moments of the entire franchise... and some of the series lows. It’s a season where there’s no production reason for its shortcomings... it just comes down to an awkward script that focuses on the wrong elements far too often. Let’s talk about that. In a very long and drawn out manner.

Thanks to @jamesbranwen​, @h-e-m-o-goblin​ and @retro-riffraff​ for help with GIFs and consultation on this review.

1) The Good Stuff!

A) Atlas is very pretty!

I cannot stress enough how on a set level, Volume 7 is leaps and bounds above the other seasons in sheer environmental detail and setting dressing. Mantle has a great atmosphere with its New York influences, the smog covered backgrounds and oppressive streets and alleys. Ironwood’s office which is deliberately designed to evoke astronomy themes to represent James’ love for the stars. The cold oppressive atmosphere of the Schnee Manor and how Jacques has begun warping it to glorify him with only lip service paid to Nicholas in public. Penguins! 

There’s a lot of great set design work that went into this season and the crew deserve props for it. Genuinely. 

B) Ironwood’s arc is the best character arc in the entire franchise

Yeah just wearing my heart on my sleeve there, I fucking love Ironwood and his character arc here in Volume 7 is the best written arc of the show. I simp for the tin man who just wants to do the right thing. This one season of content is better than a lot of the series-wide material being honest. I went back to James’s big volumes in the last month to rewatch the show and it’s interesting to see the early seeds in retrospect for where his arc goes. His need to protect everyone he can and the brutish measures he considers necessary for such an act, his conflicting loyalties towards Ozpin that manifest in both frustration at Oz’s seeming apathy to the growing conflict, but also desperate desire for validation from Ozpin that what’s he doing is the right call. After the Mistral seasons set up James as going off the deep end following Volume 3, having him open the season with an earnest smile, an immediate apology for the team’s arrest and trusting them with his plans for Amity and Salem is a jarring but pleasant surprise. He’s not been slacking off, he’s been trying to keep the world together in the way he thinks is best. He lets his guard down around the heroes and we see the good man underneath, which makes the moments where he raises his walls hurt all the more. While Em and Merc are still probably my favorite characters period, James is absolutely my favorite character in Volume 7 and Top 5 favorite characters series-wide. I’m very eager to see where he goes from here. He also rocks the beard and fixed his T-Rex arms so James came out of the washing machine that is Volume 7′s costume design. He truly is the Best Boi, and I cannot give Jason Rose enough credit for his performance this year. He hit every note of Ironwood’s character perfectly and I wish the fandom would give him more credit for giving James as much life as he does.

Oh, and as the obligatory comment on mlm rep that I am known for getting obsessively weird anon hate over: IronQrow hug nearly had me crying on a convention floor from how goddamn soft it was. Remember conventions? Ah good times.

This just... hits me... ya know? Seeing him lower his guard so much to come in for a hug just shows how isolated he’s let himself become to let himself have this moment of contact... Godamnit James. Also this is the second time after Martial Arcs that two guys hug and I really liked their ship for the following hiatus. 

C) Soft Qrow hours are nice

Qrow’s a good guy, he went through a lot of bad stuff in Volume 6 but now he’s on the other side and purged his voice of the demon within. I think Volume 7 was a very good year for Qrow overall. It was great to see him interacting with more characters his age and lowering his own guard. His moments of letting the facade drop around James and Clover especially are great expansion for his character. Jason Liebritch hit the ground running as Qrow and gave him a far more dynamic range than I think Vic could. While I wish Qrow going off alcohol had been given more of a focus as it’s kind of done off-handedly that he’s gone cold turkey and otherwise doesn’t get brought up barring his revulsion at the wine in the Schnee Manor, he overall had a great year. And trust me I’ll get to the fights later, I have a lot more I can say about the bird boi there. 

D) I liked the Ace Ops! 

I was ambivilent towards the Ace Ops on first watching. They’re kinda underdeveloped in the context of the season at large and most people immediately pegged them as a miniboss squad/fodder for Salem to kill. But in rewatch they do still get to shine, if not as brightly. They’re very enjoyable. Clover especially is just really fun in retrospect, I love cocky fighters in general, and he was infectiously enjoyable (I’ve already covered the FG stuff in the past, not doing it again). Marrow came a close second because... well it’s Marrow, he is The Best Boi. Harriet got points for being a punchgirl which is always cool, I liked how her Semblance was shown and being cocky while being able to back it up is always a win. Elm and Vine are tied for dead last, I like the body diversity Elm introduces with her muscles and Vine... existed... but overall I think with the time they had, they did get to establish themselves well. I wish I could say that about their relationship with Team RWBYORNJ but this is the Nice Section so we’ll leave it there for now.

This is one of the best shots of the entire season. I adore it. God I like the Teryx design.

E) God the villains rocked this year! 

I am a villain whore. I own that. I will embrace that monkier. But when they’re as cool as this, I feel validated in this Chilli’s tonight. Watts and Tyrian really make the season shine and don’t have a dud scene all season. They have great chemistry together, shining bright in even the weakest or most mediocre episodes. Watts went from “Oh yeah you exist” tier to “Oh yeah you rule” tier. His vendetta against Ironwood feels so real and pre-established, even though this season is the first time it’s ever come up. Watts just ozzes style in everything he does. The animators bring him to life and make every step, every flick of his twist and even just how he moves his eyes all bleed contempt. He’s such a rat and I love him! Chris Sabat finally gets to stretch his wings after a few years playing Watts as just Evil Scientist Guy, and he makes the most of it. 

And Tyrian remains an absolute treat. He didn’t get much in V6 but here he takes center stage with Watts and also gets so much impact because of it. All the little twitches, and tilting of his heads, and dramatic gestures, he’s still just so goddamn cool to watch and we even get a little backstory of him. I know he’s irredeemable. But I just want to watch Tyrian kill people and scream. Like hot damn his line “THE GRIMM SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED OUR ENEMIES, NOT MADE THEM FRIENDS!” is so fucking raw. He’s having fun destablizing a nation with his boyfriend! 

“You want more chaos than a Grimm invasion?” “If anyone on Remannt can do it, wouldn’t it be you?” There is no heterosexual explanation for how these two look at each other and yes this is me outing myself as a Nuts and Volts fan.

Watts and Tyrian really do become the absolute highlights of the season alongside James. They have a great dynamic and even during their more slower moments there’s so much care and thought put into their every mannerism. Animators, seriously, great job, I love what you did. And their fights... we’ll get there. But they’re so goddamn good. 

Look they even run the same! They’re soulmates! 

Honorary mention to Salem by the way. She’s only in two scenes but her presence is felt throughout Ironwood’s arc and his growing fear of her and she damn well delivers when she shows up. That shot of her arriving in person is a killer shot to end on as well.

Oh and I guess Cinder and Neo exist don’t they? Eh, we’ll come back to them. 

F) Oscar got a character arc!

Finally! He did it! He got an arc that began, continued and ended all onscreen! It only took four tries! 

But yeah Oscar had a really good set of scenes in Volume 7. I like him being the first to confront Ruby on the Ironwood lie, bringing up the hypocrisy after their condemning of Ozpin just last season. I like him having a more forward role (outside of not getting to be part of the celebration in episode 4 what the hell guys), and that he’s the big link between RWBY and Ironwood was a great call. Having Ozpin shelved for one more season so Oscar can take center-stage was an inspired choice. I love his dynamic with Ironwood, and how James closing himself off emotionally gets reflected in how he begins slipping in how he refers to Oscar, starting off as treating him and Oz as separate, ending with him gunning Oscar down as he doesn’t care anymore to differentiate the two.

My big issues with Oscar’s arc are that I’m first of all annoyed at the lack of followup on the Oscar stuff from V6, I’m still waiting for Qrow to apologize for punching Oscar guys! I also really wish Neo’s first attack wasn’t offscreen. CRWBY’s cliffhanger fetish meant I got to break out the Offscreen Pine jokes again. And of course, the Neo hallway punch was a bit bullshit.

G) (Most of) The fights are amazing

There’s no punchline. These fights are great, two of them are in my Top 10 Series Wide fights list and at least the duds aren’t Volume 5 bad.

If you’d told me before Volume 7 that Watts would get an extended firefight with James, I’d have felt that a bit cheap as Watts to me doesn’t feel like a fighter, more a planner who hides behind armies of mechanical soldiers. But damn if they didn’t sell me on Watts “You’ve yeed your last haw” Watts whipping out a Glock just to spite James. 

This is another one of my favorite shots in the entire series.

Ironwood vs Watts is potentially my favorite fight in the entire series, and if it’s not, it’s easy Top 3 alongside Yang vs Mercury and Pyrrha vs CRDL/Mercury. It makes great use of Amity in the abandoned gravity biome meant for SSSN vs JNPR, with Ironwood and Watts deftly moving around in a manner that very easily could have been difficult to track with the constantly shifting gravity, but the crew do their best to keep it coherent as to who’s where. The credits showed their dedication also stretched into visual continuity, as James and Arthur’s route throughout the Arena was carefully considered so they’d loop around organically. 

This is what I mean when I say the crew went above and beyond to keep things clean.

Ironwood vs Watts could have easily failed to impress, given its lack of choreography on the level the series usually does, but the team’s efforts went instead into showing a situation that lets Watts get a dragged out battle: James wins whenever he closes the distance here, so Arthur’s constantly on the run and being forced to tamper with the arena. Great camerawork, a GOD TIER song from Caleb Hyles that I’m still listening to today, and two characters with a fantastic history coming to blows makes for easily the best fight of the season and a series-wide highlight. Watching it develop from storyboards, to mocap, to animations and the full version is a delight to see. This is what CRWBY can do when everything comes togehter. The orchestra’s all tuned. It’s a goddamn symphony.

THIS is my favorite shot of the season.

Tyrian also gets to shine with his two battles this year. His alley fight with Qrow, Robyn and Clover is short but sweet, the corvid and the scorpion especially trading brutal blows in the cramped space. Qrow goes full Devil May Cry with his style-switching here, Harbinger being swapped between sword, tonfa and gun forms freely alongside Qrow applying The Power of Punching. His 1v1v1 with Clover and Qrow though is the true highlight of the season in terms of choreography. It’s lighting-fast, and has some impeccable shot work. Qrow gets to use his scythe with deliberate nods to the Red Trailer, Clover gets to shut up everyone who doubted his weapon, and Tyrian is just along for the ride and he makes the most of it. It’s frentic, it’s heart-pounding, it’s everything a fight should be. 

Honorary mentions as well go to Ace Ops vs the Geist, which is just really fun and has a great backing music choice, the opening battle with Sabre having Ruby’s obligatory ten seconds of fighting that come at the start of every new era of the series, and the Ace Ops vs RWBY fight which has some good choreo in places.

H) Winter and Penny have good chemistry

I don’t have a ton to add here, I just like their dynamic and how they advance each other’s arcs. It’s nice writing. I also like Winter apologizing to Penny when she’s angry at Jacques and takes it out on Penny by accident with the “You wouldn’t understand” line.

Penny as a Maiden is a nice idea, I think her new design is cute. Penny says trans rights.

Those are a lot of my favorite things about Volume 7. It’s a killer season when it’s firing on all cylinders but unfortunately... it often misfires in frustrating ways, many of which are unfortunately due to core emblematic problems with the series that won’t go away.

2) The Bad Stuff

A) The costumes

It’s been a over year. It’s low hanging fruit. I don’t care. Most of them are still not good and they’re ludicrously over-designed.

Blake’s in a fetish suit and I wonder how she even goes to the bathroom. Weiss just looks like an abino Sabre alt, Yang is what a Halloween costume site would describe as “Sexy UPS Driver,” (why does she have a thigh window) Ruby... looks fine, it’s one of her better costumes. Jaune’s hair is silly, Ren’s model has lost some muscle definition and he looks like an e-boy, Nora’s costume really doesn’t fit the Atlas visual design and looks like a rejected Kingdom Hearts costume. Cinder’s is too black and I actually can’t track her in darker scenes because of it (which is kinda bad during... a fight scene... where I need to know where she is...), Neo looks like a Ren Fair cosplayer doing a bit for her OnlyFans, Winter’s is anatomically weird with super skinny arms and legs, and Blake’s hair is a fucking hate crime. 

Qrow’s is one I liked at first but in retrospect it does feel like a downgrade. To quote @h-e-m-o-goblin​ from a Discord chat:

in a show like rwby, where color is such a vital defining aspect of every character, a cohesive colorscheme goes a long way. qrow's original outfit works great in this regard. neutral tones. greys, whites, and blacks, with red accents that pop against the otherwise sparse color. it's good! it's distinctive! it doesn't feel cluttered and it doesn't look like a clown vomited on him! the subdued colors really lend themselves to the grey, cynical energy qrow seems to carry with him. a literal lack of color in his life. the outfit itself feels like something he would wear; a combination of "clearly trying to look cool" and "a little disheveled and laid back." the design breathes, it isn't cluttered. let's contrast this with his vol 7 outfit. a lot of outfits in vol 7 suffer from this problem, but first and foremost it doesn't look like something he would wear. where his old outfit had a casual feel to it, his new look feels like someone dressed him up for a family christmas dinner. it's too... tidy. now of course you could argue this is him "cleaning up his life," but i dont feel like you have to sacrifice his own personal style in order to convey that. if that's really what they were going for, they easily could have just, oh i dont know, given him a cape that isn't tattered???

remember how i said qrow's original outfit really made his colors pop? how less is more when it comes to having a character with a specific color theme? vol 7 butchered that. we suddenly have articles of clothes that are tinted with greenish blue tones, browns, and with gold trim? on TOP of the old colors he already had in his design. it's muddy. it's ugly. the burgundy vest is fine, if they wanted to work more color into his outfit they should have done it that way throughout, shades of grey and different tones of RED. his COLOR. it just feels like they tacked so much on there without a second thought and i really think he deserves better. its just. such a mess.

The ones I did like were Watts’ new coat (I like the puffy hood), Penny’s is fine, the Ace Ops look great, Ironwood’s new outfit is stellar (those last six are great examples of how to do a lot with just primary colors of white and red), Neon’s Jolyne cosplay is cute and Flynt is slick. Otherwise, Volume 7 feels like it’s taken a lot of the wrong lessons from the costume design of the earlier seasons. Less is often more but now it feels like they have a pathological aversion to empty space on the costumes, leading them to feel like... costume vomit for lack of a better word. I didn’t love the Mistral outfits, but their modifications at least were carried by how many of them called back to the Fall of Beacon and emphasized the themes of loss in Volume 4. The new Atlas outfits... don’t have that shared theme. It feels like a hodgepodge of different design influences without trying to find a way to unify them. It’s like putting Baki the Grappler beside My Little Pony, they just fail to mesh.

Also for fuck’s sake already CRWBY just give the girls muscles already.

2) JNR suck and Ren’s arc is glorified character assassination

I don’t love JNR. They’re fine, but the show has arguably not needed them for a while and while I’ve liked them all at different points, it’s never been adoration outside of Ren in Volume 4. I was cool with the idea of them staying in Argus to help cover Mistral after its Huntsmen were wiped out, and Volume 7 has... made me wish they did that.

Jaune is just comic relief, and it kinda blows for later reasons but the big one is that he’s just not very funny. His big role in Volume 7 is basically to crosswalk some kids so we can have a joke scene during the Mantle Battle where Jaune uses his tactical genius to teach people to walk in single file. I feel like at this point Miles is just actively trying to kill Jaune’s fandom out of spite for how badly Jaundice was received. He’s never allowed to be cool or try and redeem himself. His hatedom aren’t going to stop hating Jaune because he gets more comedy guys. They’re going to stop when you write Jaune well. It’s a bummer he got some genuinely great upgrades for his sword and shield and never gets to use them outside of the opening. 

Nora exists. She got a surprising amount of focus this season in that she got focus of any kind. I liked her confronting Ironwood over his choking of Mantle because we know she was once the kind of person Ironwood would have been stifling. I like her being the one to realize the loophole in Jinn’s “You can’t” line. I don’t like much else about Nora this year, or at least the Nora the writing team are pushing. She’s not funny like Jaune but Nora just absorbs so much screentime in the first half with her constant shrieking. Sam Ireland has good range but making Nora into Discount Harley Quinn is pushing her out of it. She sounds shrill, making Nora sound like she has no heart outside of the election rally. A shrill voice is one thing. A shrill voice that never lands a single joke? Yeah that character is tainted by association. 

And Ren... oh God Ren what happened to you.

The Volume 7 commentary confirmed a suspicion of mine that Ren’s arc was heavily cut down from what was planned. Even watching V7 I could tell his arc was bare-bones at best, and it’s downright character assassination in places. Why is he suddenly so cold to Nora? Why is he now so obsessed with training? Why does he side with Ironwood for all of... one line which is this last between episodes 7 and 11. Ren only has two hundred words of dialoge in Volume 7 and they feel so weird in places. Ren goes from seemingly disliking Nora, to kissing her, to never referencing the kiss, to partaking in the Worst Scene Of The Season, all with no consistency. It’s not even threadbare. Ren’s arc just has no connecting tissue for so much of it! It’s insane how badly Ren was hurt by this, and I shudder to wonder how bad his Volume 8 arc will be because you know that was one of the first plotlines they cut down on when they inevitably overreached again. 

I don’t know how they made Renora kissing feel unearned? But by God they found a way with how much of a trainwreck Ren’s writing is in regards to tainting this. 

If Ironwood is an example of RWBY doing character writing well, Ren is the mirror image of how badly they can do. JNR really suffered from Volume 7 (also fun fact, Ren has about 200 words of dialogue? Ironwood has 4400). Maybe not to the level of irredeemable dislike? But very close to being on the same tier as Cinder of “Just go away already.”  I’m not looking forward to their content in Volume 8. 

3) RWBY themselves are poorly handled in Volume 7

It’s unfortunate that the actual title characters of the series are also some of this season’s weaker links. RWBY feel... superfluous to this season in a way they’ve never felt before. It’s baffling how much of the season doesn’t change if you just don’t include them, and apparently Volume 7′s first draft? Was even worse.

The commentary says that many of the RWBY moments were added later in production. Stuff like Ruby and Renora at the rally, Blake and Yang’s talk with Robyn and Ruby and Qrow’s chat were all either added in near the end of the writing or were “low priority” enough that they could have been cut which is... veyr alarming that’s stuff even the main protags have to worry about! 

Ruby feels half-baked. I was looking forward to her in V7 after how V6 gave her a more dynamic personality and the focus she got in Brunswick, and having Penny’s return had me interested in seeing Ruby grapple with her emotions about it. She watched Penny die, how would it influence her to see Penny back and OK? Good question, we never get to see it. Ruby’s just OK with Penny’s return, the one time they touch on it Penny immediately glosses over it. Ruby just goes back to her old happy go lucky persona where any and all negative emotions are immediately forced down instead of confronting them and growing from them. I’m getting a little tired of Ruby bottling her grief and being teased about finally getting her snapping like a Twix Bar. We finally got her crying and it lasted all of ten seconds. And it doesn’t help that Ruby’s still getting shafted for fights. Her scythe choreography has no excuse being as flacid as it is now after Qrow vs Clover showed they can do scythe fighting! Why is Ruby being upstaged by (let’s be real) a supporting character! Why is she being limited to ten seconds of good combat then nothing for the rest of the season outside of flimsily swinging it or shooting. It’s disappointing, especially after how good V6 Ruby was.

I swear, Gravity’s not just my favorite episode of the season just because Ruby finally cries in it.

Weiss was kinda just done dirty though. At least Ruby has a good outfit. Weiss confronting her father has been a long standing plot thread for the series, it’s been Weiss’s Big Thing since the White Trailer. And when Jacques finally appears, he’s very... bland. He’s just evil corporate dude who exists less as an obstacle for Weiss and more just a roadblock for the plot through the election. Weiss finally gets a chance to take her father down and work to redeem her family name... but instead of earning said victory and it being treated with the same gravitas and emotional weight as Blake defeating Adam... Weiss has her victory handed to her. And it’s played for comedy by her abusrdly attractive mother. 

Listen, I like I Willow Schnee. I think she’s a fascinating character and I like the idea of a person who is aware of the harm they’ve done by accident but is too broken to fix the issues she accidentally left. I love her calling Weiss out on her treatment of Whitley. But she is absolutely a Deus Ex Machina that exists to get Jacques out of the plot as fast as possible. You mean to tell me Hackerman Watts never once made sure Jacques had hidden cameras? Or that none of the staff found Willow’s cameras and reported them under the assumption they were White Fang spies? It’s so... convenient. It’s handing Weiss her victory on an unearned platter. Which sucks. I was really looking forward to Weiss beating Jacques. Instead she just gets given the plot device while JNR engage in the Worst Scene of The Season in that Whitley food stunt.

Me whenever I’m asked to rewatch Cordially Invited

Blake and Yang have much the same problems, in they never separate. I know they’re going to be together. I know CRWBY are making it canon (get it over with already). I still would like Yang and Blake to have individual character scenes. I’d like Blake and Marrow to talk about being a Faunus Huntsman in Atlas (another thing that got cut thanks to Robyn Hill). I want Yang and Ironwood to discuss their PTSD and have Yang thank Ironwood for his trust in her that he commissioned the arm despite Yang attacking Mercury. I want Blake to be well animated in fight scenes so she’s doing more than just jobbing so Yang looks better. I want Yang to stop hogging all the good Team RWBY choeography. I want them to interact with other characters and continue to grow instead of feeling like two halves of one character. And no, making a meta joke of how Blake and Yang don’t talk to other people doesn’t make it OK. It just means you’re self aware about your own faults. 

(Also give Yang better merch or quit the favoritism. If you’re gonna milk her, put effort into it beyond crapply overpriced flannel. RT’s merch store is actively making me hate Yang.)

Team RWBY’s biggest contribution to the season is the Ironwood Lie which is... a can of worms. They certainly had a point in withholding some of the bigger truths from James but I feel by Pomp and Cirumstance he’d proven himself truthwrothy enough to warrant being told the truth about Salem. But then when he’s finally told the truth, it’s offscreen’d and the consequence isn’t “Why didn’t you tell me earlier” but “Fucking Ozpin man.” Gravity has it bite them in the ass, but it’s more an accessory to Yang and Blake telling Robyn about the Amity tower. I wish more had been done with the team disagreeing on whether the lie was a good choice or not, maybe have Yang be hardline against it due to her own “No more lies and half truths” policy instead of... having Yang tell more lies and half truths (Commentary confirms she never told Ruby and Weiss about the Robyn stuff BTW). But that’s a wider problem where RWBY aren’t allowed to disagree beyond surface level “I don’t know if this is the right call” dialogue. There’s never a threat of one of them cracking and just spilling the beans to James, everyone just blindly trusts Ruby and Qrow tells the audience “No this is different from when Ozpin lied. Trust us.” 

This is the most RWBY get for content in the season finale: Ruby just nuking Cinder with no difficulty after having trouble with the eyes three episodes ago. Kinda lame tbh.

Team RWBY are just disappointing in Volume 7. They’re not given good animation, their story roles are largely insignificant, the impact of their roles on the story is threadbare and... well most of their costumes suck don’t @ me even CRWBY have admitted Blake and Weiss’s haircuts looked bad. It’s a whole barrage of a letdown for the main girls. And it’s really sad that the best scenes of the season... are usually the ones where RWBY are nowhere in sight.

Why the hell didn’t Yang get to keep the sunglasses come on guys. One job.

4) Robyn, the election plot, and the Happy Huntresses

Oh God, Robyn Hill is... not great. I could and likely will write a full meta on her character and how they bungled it but I’ll just be blunt here: I don’t like her design, the colors don’t mesh well, he head’s too small, Christina Vee is sleeping through the role and her weapon’s lame. Introducing her in a scene where she threatens to attack our heroes, and her agents are actively sneaking up on them to do it, is not a great first impression for a hometown hero. And that the commentary thinks she’s meant to be the hero in that scene is... staggering. 

RWBY’s greatest threat yet is a wine mom Karen and her Home Owners Association army. 

The election plot is less a misfire and more the engine just exploding. There’s so little good content between when it’s introduced and concluded, with it usually being individual scenes that are more good in spite of their connection to the plot (such as Tyrian’s massacre). It drags in pacing, going on for nearly half the season between episodes 5 and 10, and it purely exists as a roadblock to keep RWBY spinning their wheels while Watts and Tyrian keep going with the main plot. I don’t know why CRWBY went for this plot. They could have easily had something else fill the gap that also allowed for a lot of the character beats (such as Marrow and Blake’s talk and Ren’s entire arc) to shine, or at least condensed it to the important elements instead of letting it become bloated. It ends in such an unsatisfying way where Willow just shows up and goes “We have four episode left, here’s the plot device to beat Jacques, get back ot the main plot.” If they wanted to do the election plot, the best route would have been to give Volume 7 more episodes or stretch out its events to two seasons, but neither is realistically possible while RWBY lives off the teat of AT&T. 

Jacques and Robyn are just boring. Evil corporate man and a lame adaptation of Robyn Hood who only has fans because of thirst who also like downplaying Robyn making a racist remark at Marrow (to say nothing of that weird subsection of Robyn fans who make her a Fox Faunus who cut her tail off to join Atlas Academy which is... certainly a creative choice especially when Marrow and Neon are punching holes in that angsty BS backstory). They can’t carry this plot and the artifical attempts to make it seem more exciting with the two cliffhaners ending on Mantle under riot or Grimm attack are laughably cut short by the next episode in each case opening the morning after. On binge watch it becomes weirdly funny more than anything and that’s not a good reaction. The dual cliffhangers being cheaply resolved is a short but succint example of V7′s pacing issues, and they almost always loop around to the election plot being too bloated, slow and just boring.

Also the Happy Huntresses are just... lame. I like their Semblances but that’s it. Fiona’s OK because she gets some screentime but May’s just “the surly one” and Joanna doesn’t even get her Semblance or much dialogue (oh wow she really is just a female Sage Ayana isn’t she). Robyn should not have been leading the HH and running for Council. That’s really stupid. And kind of wrong. Having May or Fiona be running instead while Robyn leads the team in relief efforts would have been better and could have split the focus more effeciently instead of leaving May and especially Joanna feelng like roster padding. There’s also some delicious irony in the show trying to frame the HH as the resistance fighting for the people and representing individuality, only for them all to have the same boring outfit and weapons (I think even the exact same model just with different sizes) while the Ace Ops are meant to be the military drones who are “Just following orders,” only for them to be more racially diverse, more diverse body-type-wise, and have more unique weapons. It’s another one of those odd creative dissconnects between what the writers wanted and what the artists/animation teams chose to do. 

The election plot is overall toxin for Volume 7, and Robyn in my opinion, has one of the worst introductory scenes of any character in the franchise (and CRWBY have tacitly admitted that V7 had a character they were surprised at how controversial they were, which has to be Robyn). In a year where they were already juggling so much content and characters, adding in this bloated subplot was something I don’t think anyone wanted, especially now that we know we lost so much content on the sacrificial altar for this. It’s a black mark on the season and I don’t really care for the return of the Happy Huntresses or Robyn in Volume 8. None of them are interesting enough to care for outside of meta reasons like “cute.” 

Also fuck you Fiona, can’t believe you got a shirt before Ironwood. 

5) Cinder and Neo sure exist

To be fair, this is one of Cinder’s best years, easily her best since Volume 3 but that’s more because Cinder in the Mistral era was crap. (And if I wanna be cruel, because Cinder wasn’t in two thirds of the season)Her fans were finally vindicated after years of telling anyone who dunked on Cinder that “nooooo she has a super covert backstory that’s gonna be amazing when it’s revealed! You’ll see!” And well they finally got it. All of one line during a fight about how Cinder “refuses to starve.” 

It’s still something so I guess we have to take it. Seriously... how do we still not have Cinder’s backstory. 

There’s just not a ton to say about Cinder and Neo in V7 barring I that don’t think they needed to be here. They feel very superfluous and just here to have a big boss fight in Cinder’s case alongside continuing her streak of ending the odd numbered seasons fighting a female side character... which for me became an exercise in tyring to find during Cinder during the damn fight.

And this is why when most people saw Cinder’s V6 outfit they went “It’s gonna be hard to see her in darker environments,” then were vindicated when it became legit difficult to see Cinder in this scene. God if they at least just made the inside of the cape red it’d be easier.

Neo is Neo, which means she makes funny faces and mocks Cinder (I like that), but she doesn’t get a super good fight which uh... we’ll get to. I’m interested to see her finally exploding at Cinder and going for a backstab, but really Neo in V7 was kinda hit hard by the double whammy of the Oscar Hallway Punch and how humiliating ORNJ vs Neo was for ORNJ. Cinder’s definitely had far worse years and after how aimless she was in Mistral this feels like a sep in the right direction, but at this point CRWBY just need to shut up and tell us her deal. It’s been seven years guys. Come on. At least make her interesting if she’s gonna say around. They’ve had worse years, but unfortunately Cinder and Neo’s role in the finale leads into...

6) Some of the fights weren’t good

I wanna be clear, I like most of Volume 7′s fights. It’s just a bummer the worst ones are back and back and make up a chunk of the finale. ORNJ vs Neo is just crap. It’s the worst fight since the Battle of Haven. There’s nothing else I can say, it’s poorly animated, paced, choreographed and written. JNR especially are made to look like complete jokes after they spent all season training, to the point where it looks like V2 Yang could solo V7 JNR after this. Oscar I expect this from because he’s not allowed to have fun stuff onscreen after accidentally stealing the Haven budget for his fight with Hazel, but JNR were just done dirty. There were ways to make the fight work in a way where Neo still won but JNR looked good. They went for the worst possible outcome that just leaves Neo looking like she got fan-wanked and JNR looking like they’re just not allowed to be cool due to Miles’ spite at the Jaune-Self Insert stuff (and that’s not even getting into JNR being forced to run from lame rent a cops who can’t even handle a single Grimm). Cinder vs Winter and Penny isn’t much better, with her dark outfit making it very hard to track the fight because she blends into the background too well. It’s not a great showing for Winter or Penny given their earlier feats but, hey, some random female character had to fight Cinder in this odd numbered volume, carrying on Glynda, Pyrrha and Raven’s tradition. It’s at least better than ORNJ vs Neo, but that’s really not saying anything. At least Cinder’s VA work isn’t too bad this time but this fight commits the cardinal sin of a finale fight: It’s just not super interesting because we know Cinder can’t kill both Winter and Penny and she’s not becoming a Maiden, while Winter’s been too blatantly set up so it has to be Penny.

RWBY vs the Ace Ops also gets a dishonorable mention due to the choreography on display here... and the lack of it for Weiss, Blake and Ruby. Ruby never once swings Crescent Rose the entire fight and is just reduced to getting the tar kicked out of her by Harriet. Weiss barely gets to use her sword and largely just sticks to her summoning and glyphs which makes for a very visually uninteresting fighting style at the best of times. Blake just swings around and gets caught by the bad guys so Yang is motivated to fight stronger. She never dual wields (again) and her best moves are just setting up Yang to do all the hard work while Yang gets to personally KO two of the Ace Ops. There’s a lot that can be said about whether or nor RWBY earn the win, but while the animation team try to sell the Ace Ops landing heavy hits, having only Blake’s Aura even flicker really undercuts the idea from the commentary that this wasn’t meant to be a stomp for RWBY and they had to work together and be in synch to win.

Which is why Yang solos two of the Ace Ops whle Blake plays support, Weiss beats Marrow alone and then kill steals Harriet from Ruby, all while the song playing is an extended diss track from RWBY to the Ace Ops about how badass they are now, and the commentary itself says the Ace Ops are hard carried by Clover’s Semblance (because you gotta love basically saying four POC were only competent because a white guy led them, and then have them lose because said white guy wasn’t around to carry them!). Great job guys, you really sold it.

And talking of Clover, I feel it worth mentioning Qrow vs Clover vs Tyrian. It’s animation wise near perfect, but unfortunately I do feel it would be remiss to not mention that I feel the writing really has to bend over backwards to justify this fight. A lot of it is stuff I would say in that hypothetical Robyn essay, but I feel Robyn, Qrow and Clover all have to become massive idiots for this specific sequence of events to occur, and for Clover especially every retroactive attempt to explain why he prioritized Qrow over Tyrian just sounds more and more desperate. Between the references to MCU Captain America (a person whose entire arc is about learning when it’s OK to defy bad orders) or the attempt in the commentary to say “Oh Clover thought it would be easier to take out Tyrian alone instead of Qrow,” none of them land and just further drive home how much the plot had to stretch and reach to get that moment of Tyrian killing Clover. I like the fight. But I hate the road the show took to get there.

Some of the misc fights are also weak like ORNJ vs FNKI and elements of the Mantle Grimm battle, but those are the big offenders. Otherwise, again, the fights are largely good. 

7) The soundtrack wasn’t... great

I mean the vocal songs only, don’t crucify me. Trust Love is just lamer Let’s Just Live/Triumph, Celebrate and Let’s Get Real are so boring I thought they were the same song until the OST dropped, Brand New Day is boringly peppy and Jeff’s vocals are dreadful. I completely forgot Touch the Sky until I was checking the tracklist to make sure I didn’t forget any songs. War has good singers but tries to sell the RWBY-Ace Ops bond as way deeper than it was. The lack of a villain song did really sting though, those are always the highlights.

There are good songs. I really like Fear, I feel it encapsulates the themes of the volume well and serves as a good condemnation of Ironwod’s mentality. Until The End is finally the Ruby song I’ve waited for since Red Like Roses 2 and I enjoy that she got a melancholic song, and Hero is easily, hands down, best track of the record and probably best RWBY track, full stop. Caleb killed it, I loved the second verse, opening opera was strong, guitar riffs were a plenty. Stellar work all around for that one.

The OST has great work from Jeff and Alex as usual, but the Jeff and Casey songs are really starting to lose their appeal. Going for a peppy feel this year didn’t help cover the cracks that are beginning to show with RWBY’s vocal songs (especially Jeff’s vocal range), and while a few standouts remain such as Fear and Hero, they are the slim minority in an otherwise very boring vocal tracklist that barely scrapes above Volume 5 for weakest set yet.

8) It wasn’t as funny as it thought it was

Comedy is subjective but man a lot of these jokes didn’t land. RWBY really needs to realize that does work in traditional 2D does not translate into 3D and just comes off as making official reaction GIFs for your Twitter account. Making characters SUDDENY SCREAM LOUDLY is not good banter. Please stop making Nora into Harley Quinn. Marrow was probably the most consistently funny character but that was it. Also I dunno why CRWBY thought Forrest was funny or what the deal was with that FRWBY crap. 

“Honorary” mention to the JNR food scene in Cordially Invited which is genuinely one of the worst scenes in the entire show and I hope whoever animated it has their save files deleted for a game where they were about to beat the final boss. Nothing sums up JNR’s pointlessness in the series more perfectly than this.

C) Conclusion

See what I mean about Volume 7 being frustrating? 

It’s weird that I overal think of Volume 7 as a mid-tier volume. There’s so much here I genuinely adore, with some of the best stuff to do with the show coming out of this season (barring lame, overpriced merch that feels like clothing gacha), but simultaneously the whole thing is let down by outside circumstances that unfortunately are ones the show can’t ever really recover from. Put bluntly, Volume 7 is the most technically proficient season of the show with the best lighting, backdrops, (some of the) character models, etc. CRWBY definitely didn’t slack off this year, but the problem isn't with them. It’s with the writing. A wider reaching problem is just that Miles and Kerry can’t really improve to the level that the series now requires. Eddy and Kiersei’s first season could have gone far worse, but it definitely was notable whenever they took over. Volume 7’s core problems are fourfold: The comedy is terrible and none of the jokes really land, the season focuses on the wrong plots and gives them too much effort, too many episodes are spent building up to new plots only for them to be weakly resolved (especially the Mantle Riot/Grimm attacks that are shoved off-screen), and the character bloat strikes hard here and leaves a lot of the cast feeling like dead weight. CRWBY don’t need more writers. They need more editors willing to tell the team what has to go instead of them hemming and hawing themselves on if they if they can include a plotline. The election never should have gotten past its first draft, there was too much already in this season before adding that.

When this is an unironic shot in your series... you’ve got character bloat issues.

At this point, I think JNR need to go. The show had no idea what to do with them throughout the season, leading to Jaune just being comic relief while Ren and Nora became characters I actively dislike. Renora was the easiest ship in the show to land, and they still managed to blow the engines and ram at least three icebergs just to prove that RWBY can’t romance to save its life. Team RWBY themselves are little better, with Ruby’s feelings about Penny’s return being shelved, Weiss’s victory against Jacques feeling un-earned and undercut by comedy, while Yang and Blake are benched for the volume and become a singular entity with how tied at the hip they are. Maria basically yeeted herself out of the show and I didn’t notice, Pietro is just a death flag, and while the Ace Ops had a good intro, it was undercooked by how they had to play the villain role to give RWBY something to do in the final hours. Cinder and Neo didn’t need to be here. Robyn had one of the worst introductions for a character I’ve ever seen, I never enjoyed her moments and it genuinely feels like she only has a fandom because RWBY’s community are in fact that desperate. 

On the brighter side, Ironwood’s arc is fucking perfect and Jason Rose deserves all the love. Great fight, great song, great design, love the beard, it was a perfect downfall for Volume 7’s true protagonist. Qrow had a fun volume and I loved his dynamic with Clover (I don’t see the ship stuff but that’s more because I’m an IronQrow main so my blinders were on). Clover was also way cooler than I remembered. His fights stood out but the guy’s just really cool at the end of the day, with Chris doing great work as a VA. Oscar even managed to do stuff this year which was a shock and a half, but a welcome shock and a half. I didn’t mention it, but the Ozpin fear monologue is one of my favorite scenes in the entire show and it and the Ironwood/Oscar confrontation in the vault save the finale. And of course, Watts and Tyrian were the MVPs. I don’t have a bad word about either of them, they fucking nailed their roles and I can’t wait to see them again. 

And that’s kind of what I mean when I say Volume 7 flummoxes me. It’s frustrating at times with how it handles seemingly easy tasks and drops the ball. Renora went from “everyone liked that” to wondering how badly Ren’s stuff got butchered for him to be the way he is. RWBY themselves could be almost entirely cut and so little would change, and the fact that the finale basically hinges its entire emotional stakes on Winter, Penny and Oscar is a staggering call. And it really feels like the season was compressed beyond necessity because they decided going in that Volume 7 had to end on Salem’s arrival. There’s two volumes worth of material here, and maybe it would have been best to have broken up these events. Volume 7 does too much in too little time, and RWBY especially suffered from it. But when it works… it’s good. Never close to the highs of Volumes 6 or 3, but there’s genuinely good material here. The fights are mostly getting better with far less missteps than previously, the acting (mostly) continues to improve and it’s obvious that RWBY is a very good looking show at this point. Ironwood’s arc is franchise-wide highs, I loved Clover, and Marrow remains the best boi. But it’s frustrating that despite all the tech advances Volume 7 has made, it still makes such threadbare, rookie writing mistakes in cast management, comedy and character arcs. I’m glad Miles and Kerry finally realized that they needed more writers, but it won’t mean anything if the show just continues to circle the drain on the core mistakes it’s been making since 2013. Volume 7 has good in it. But I can see where it could have been great.

Thanks for reading, stan IronQrow and please get Whitley a therapist.

And for the love of God already make an Ironwood vs Watts shirt! 

#rwby #rwby analysis #rwde #james ironwood #Arthur Watts #qrow branwen #Tyrian Callows #ruby rose #weiss schnee #Blake Belladonna #yang xiao long #Jaune Arc #lie ren #nora valkyrie #Renora #clover ebi #marrow amin #ace ops #robyn hill #happy huntresses #cinder fall #neopolitan #penny polendina #winter schnee #willow schnee #Whitley schnee #Jacques schnee #Salem #harriet bree #vine zeki

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord Part 17

[Date: 20/02, 03.03 AM - 20/02, 03.53 AM GMT]

“Hi everyone! I'm back :)”

[Everyone welcomes Prince back]

“I had a lot of fun answering questions today :)”

[arc: I'm glad! Any particularly fun ones?”]

“Someone asked about my favorite music disc, so I think that one :)”

[jayyyyyyyy: “Im new here, so hello Prince! How are you? You also answered one of my asks earlier”]

"Oh? which one was yours? :)"

[jayyyyyyyy: “Ah, I can't remember ^^;; but you were very kind!”]

“Aw that's sweet of you! :)”

[syl/suri: “Never mind that, Prince. How are you?”]

“I'm great! Everything is fine :)”

[syl/suri: “That's wonderful! Is everything well with the rest of the court?”]

“Yeah! Everything is going well! :)”

[arc: “I'm excited for tomorrow, any new messages for us?”]

“I'm excited too! No new messages, I just wanted to talk, because you all are so nice :)”

[jayyyyyyyy: “So how are things, Prince? Everything good in the world?”]

“Yup! Everything is fine :)”

“Did you all do anything fun today? :)”

[People respond with what they had been doing that day. Many people were drawing, learning Ender, and talking to Viscount.]

“Wow, you all sound like you had so much fun today! I'm so happy to hear it! :)”

[Everyone types :)]

“You're all so happy! It's so nice to see everyone smiling! :)”

[emuhlee: “Of course! Why wouldn't we be happy when we have this family!”]

“You're right! I don't know how anyone could be sad here :) Crown will be so happy to hear how excited you all are to be a part of our family :)”

[Marl (Maxwell): “I don't think Crown likes me...”]

“Why wouldn't... Crown like you?”

[jayyyyyyyy: “I havent talked to Crown much, whats he like, Prince?”]

“He's very nice! :)”

[Marl (Maxwell): “Uh, I called him a pissbaby and put his crown on a cooked turkey as a joke...I don't think he likes me--”]

“Oh... Um..”

“Is everyone ok...?”

Captain Corvid: “I think everyone's just a little tired”

fetchnap: “Its chill, don't worry :]”

syl/suri: “We are :) Don't you worry about us!”

[Denubbo_ (Denora/Sakura): “Just your regular old family squabble!”]

“You shouldn't fight... We're a family. We're supposed to get along..”

[syl/suri: “Prince, it's okay. We're a family, right? We fight, but we make up better than ever.”]

“Promise...?”

[Everyone promises.]

[jayyyyyyyy: “Hey Prince, do you know what pogchamp is?”]

“I don't think i do :)”

[Galahan (Grimm): “I think you'd like pogchamp.”]

“You think so? :)”

[No |Stars: “In practice it basically means the same thing as saying cool! :) Its a compliment”]

“Oh okay! :)”

[Marl (Maxwell): “OH WAIT Prince Ima make something for Crown, could you send it to him when im done it?”]

“Sure! :)”

[Redacted: “Prince i think you are pogchamp :)”]

“Aw, thank you! :)”

“I'm looking at some of the other channels... Why are people leaving the family...?”

[emuhlee: “People left because,, they thought they weren't happy here.. ”]

“Why wouldn't they be happy...?”

[No |Stars: “They confused Crown and Ranboo and got upset when we said that wasnt who we talk to”]

“But we're here to help Ranboo... If they came here for him, wouldn't they want to help us...?”

“I'll be right back, someone wants to talk to me one on one :)”

#on:discord #by:prince #if the crown fits

[mirdance]

No Matter How You Look at it, My Loving Girlfriend is a Cat Now!

Working with Gam has been such an honor! Her art is absolutely gorgeous, and I'm so glad she enjoyed my whimsical cat idea enough to draw it. Working with her MC, Cho, was a lovely experience, and I hope Cho forgives me for turning her into a cat. <3Thank you to @mysme-rbb for providing this opportunity! Link to Gam's art Instagram: gammam0n Read the story on A03 Summary: Saeran and Cho have been living together for a couple weeks in their new apartment. Co-habitation has had its up and downs, but Saeran thinks he has started to get the hang of everything. He’s even able to cook her favorite breakfast and separate the laundry. Things are looking swell. That is, until his girlfriend turns into a cat.

Saeran’s life really was something out of a fairy tale, if you gathered all the Brothers Grimm tales and mashed them into one horrifying short story with a Snow White happy ending. He thought he had his shit together by this point; who wouldn’t after helping run a cult and years of therapy? You kinda learn something about life in all that mess. But the love of his life, his one and only, Cho, turning into a cat, was something life nor therapy taught him how to deal with. While cute for fiction, the actuality of seeing her curled on the bed, white fluffy tail around her body, sent his eyes twitching.

Earlier, he’d been making them omelettes. She was always waking up early to cook them breakfast, so he’d wanted to do something for her for a change. They’d been living together in their new apartment for just a short while, but she seemed much more put together and relaxed in the fresh environment. He admired her strength, even if he was a tad jealous of her ability to adapt. She was independent, something he could never be, no matter how much he strove. Even with his progress, he still found himself leaning on her too much. Hell, when they’d first met, he’d been running around in the rain for so long, trying to figure out the bus schedule, when she’d stopped to help. She never asked for help, though.

He flopped his finished creation on a plate. Ray nudged the forefront of his mind. Saeran sighed as he prepared a glass of orange juice. All things considered; he was doing so much better than he could have ever imagined. Waking up to cook, laundry, working, they were hard, but he’d endured more and could get through this. He made his way down their tiny hallway with a skip in his step. Just thinking about how it was theirs, and how he was no longer alone. Sure, he had his family and his friends, but having Cho to hold him on those rough nights was simply different. A different kind of home.

He pushed open the bedroom door with his hip. “Time to wake,” he whispered with a grin. “I’ve made you—”

The plate fell to the floor with a clatter. Eggs flew across the floor and landed near the foot of the bed. Saeran coughed. His throat began to itch, and he pulled on his collar. “I…I’m sorry,” he reached down and began cleaning up the mess. “I thought…thought. We were going to pick out one of the kittens from the shelter next week? Because they’re overrun and all…”

Sleeping on the bed was a fluffy, white, cat. It resembled Elizabeth the 3rd in some ways, but its fur was not nearly as long, and its eyes glowed amber in the sunrise of the window. It stretched and yawned before jumping off the bed and eating the eggs off the floor.

Saeran bapped it away. “I don’t know if you can eat everything in this…”

Much to his dismay, the cat did not listen and only ate faster. What was this, a dog in a cats body? He lifted the cat as he stood and stepped over the egg mess. “Cho? Did my brother put you up to this?” He glanced around the corners of the room to find the hidden camera. There was nothing in the bed or closet. His heartbeat throbbed throughout his skull.

“Cho?”

He called her name several more times. She’d just been right here, sleeping under the covers. He hadn’t heard her move from the room. The window was intact. This had to be some joke his brother put her up to. Instinctively, he kissed the top of the cat’s head, and it rubbed its chin along his jawline. He couldn’t help but smile even through his disappointment.

“We said we’d pick one out together. I know, it’s probably dumb of me, but I’m kind of let down. It’s nothing against you, I promise.” He sat the cat on the bed and scratched behind its ear. “Please stay here while I clean this mess. I need to find Cho and see what’s going on.”

As Saeran bent to place the omelette back onto the plate, the cat jumped down once again and dove into the food. He lifted the plate into the air. “You must be hungry. I think we have some wet food.” He grimaced and checked around the floor once more. Cho hadn’t even set up a litter box. Hopefully, it hadn’t peed anywhere.

“I’ll be back.”

He’d said that, but the cat followed him to the kitchen, anyway. Were cats always so friendly? Well, in his experience, some were, but only after lots of food and getting to know one another. Maybe there was a reason Cho picked this one out? He didn’t want to assume anything bad. She was probably on her way to get emergency supplies or something. He discarded the eggs. The cat pawed at the trash can.

“I’m getting you food, hold on.”

He rummaged through the cabinets as the cat circled between his legs. They kept wet food for the stray cats that ran around and were hoping to prepare for a kitten of their own. “I hope you like chicken flavor,” he murmured as he popped open the lid. He dumped the food on a saucer before setting it on the ground.

“There you go. Doesn’t that look yummy?” The cat turned its nose up, and Saeran swore it shook its head. It turned its back to him and sat on the ground. Saeran cleared his throat. “Well, I guess it might be a bit hard to eat.” He grabbed a fork from the cabinet and began cutting the wet food into bite sized pieces. “I guess it does kinda stink, huh?”

The cat squeaked somewhat but did not meow. It jumped onto the counter and stared down at him.

“Oh, do you want to eat it up there?” He sat the plate before the cat.

The cat knocked it to the floor.

Thankfully, it was a plastic plate.

Saeran took a deep breath before anyone impatient could co-front. Maybe Ray would be better at dealing with this. “Okay, chicken is out of the question. Unfortunately, that’s all we have at the moment. The big stray Bo outside loves beef flavor and ate it all up. I think…we have turkey? For sandwiches. Hold on.”

It was a good thing he was off work today. How could Cho leave a cat behind with nothing to eat? He was still expecting his brother to pop out of a corner, but the apartment was eerily silent. Cho had never been so unprepared. He quickly grabbed his cell phone from the top of the fridge (Why was it on top of the fridge? Who left it there? Somehow, he remembered it being up there, so one of his brain mates was probably laughing their ass off.) He dialed Cho.

And it rang.

And rang

And rang

Saeran stared at his phone for far too long until he realized her phone was ringing in the bedroom. He darted for the room, only to find the phone buzzing on top of the dresser, still charging from the night before.

“Cho, this isn’t funny anymore.”

Saeran lunged for the phone and tried to type in the password. Wasn’t it her birthday? Not that they went through each other’s phones all the time, but occasionally they played games together and traded. The phone vibrated in defiance. He didn’t want to lock himself out. He logged into messenger on his own phone, but no one was awake. Not even Jumin Han or Jaehee.

Clattering noises echoed from the kitchen. Crap. He jogged back to the cat to find it…on the table, turkey on bread. A literal sandwich laid before a cat with the cat nibbling the edges. He laughed. Had he made this cat a sandwich and forgot? No, he simply thought about feeding it turkey. Maybe Ray had? No, Ray didn’t show up as far as Saeran could remember. Wait, were cats supposed to have bread?

He set the phones on the table and slid the turkey from the bread slices. “Not for kitties,” he mumbled. “I don’t know how you made yourself a sandwich, but you’re one smart animal.”

A low growl rumbled from the cat’s throat as it sat on its haunches, but otherwise it seemed at peace. Its ears were perked normally, and its tail rested softly at its side. At least it hadn’t mauled him. Maybe Cho had noticed how picky it was and ran out to get groceries. Maybe she’d forgotten her phone? He couldn’t see it, but it was possible.

“Hm, I wonder if you’re a boy or a girl?” He was tired of calling it ‘it’. It didn’t have a collar. “Excuse me,” he went behind the cat and lifted its leg. Both Cho and Saeran had learned to tell the differences between sexes while volunteering for Yoosung’s vet office, so this was nothing but procedure at this point. Its ears laid flat against its head. Saeran apologized once again before putting the cat’s leg down and allowing it freedom. “Well, it’s a girl,” he said, smiling and scratching behind her ear. “I wonder when your mom will be back. Should I got out and look for her? I’m super worried.”

She ignored him, walking past him and to the phones that lie on the table. Her tiny paws tapped the screen of Cho’s phone before it lit to life. Saeran sat down at one of the chairs and blocked the corners of the table with his hands. “Please don’t start knocking over more stuff,” he begged.

His phone began ringing. He quickly picked it up, only to find Cho’s profile across the screen. His eyes darted from Cho’s phone to his. This cat…had called him. Wait, this cat had unlocked the phone!

“I guess you got lucky,” Saeran said, hanging up both phones. He began looking through Cho’s. Everything was normal, her schedule, the menus. He sighed and sat the phone back down. “I guess I’m going to have to go out and find her myself. She’s probably just at the corner store looking for…”

Once again, the cat called him. He jerked the phone out of the cat’s paws and hung everything up. He wasn’t one to believe in the supernatural, but hell if this wasn’t weird. Against his better judgement, he locked Cho’s phone and set it back down. There, cat. See if you can unlock it again.

The cat seamlessly tapped its little paws on the screen, unlocking the phone with what seemed to be Cho’s birthday. Saeran wanted to smack his head on the table. “You can’t be serious. I swear to god if my brother is in here, he will not live to see tomorrow.”

The cat used its nose to click around, smudging the screen in the process. Sarean wiped it with his sleeve. “You’re going to ruin the screen.”

The cat, resigned to its fate of only using its paws, eventually opened up notes and tapped at the keyboard. Saeran--still not believing that the cat knew what it was doing because how could it—chuckled and pet its flank.

Hhji itds mje cvho I lolve u

Saeran slid the phone over to himself and read the garbled message. What…no. Ha. Hahahhahahahhaa. No. That looked an awful too much like Hi it’s me, Cho, I love you but typed with fat cat toes.

Everything was too much of a match for Saeran to doubt. Even the cat’s eyes were the same color. “Cho…is that really you?”

The cat placed a paw on his hand and nodded…cats didn’t nod. Well, unless they were in some cartoon, which Saeran was very much beginning to feel like the protagonist of. Did someone sneak elixir in his juice? Had he taken too much medication?

He gulped. “If…if you’re really Cho, spin around two times.” He wanted to laugh more, but part of him was deathly afraid of his own mental state. The other part of him was afraid for hers.

Saeran almost reached out to stop her as the cat spun around twice. She sat and seemed to glower at him, as if daring him to ask for more party tricks. Saeran lifted his hands in the air in defeat. “Okay, okay, Miss Cho. I believe you. I’m either high as a kite or you’ve somehow turned yourself into a cat, but either way, I trust you.”

Cho nudged his arm with the side of her cheek. God, it was so cute. He couldn’t think like that, though. He had to gather his thoughts. How could they turn her back? Whether he was off his rocker or not, it was important to settle the matter. Cho was a cat for a reason, and even though it was super cute, it was probably not the most comfortable. After all, how could she go to the bathroom? Would he need to get a litter box? Or maybe keeping the lid up on toilet was enough. Could she eat human food, or would that hurt her stomach? While they get to the bottom of this, maybe it would be best to try and get her to eat cat food. Should he take her to the vet?

“Merow.” Cho rolled onto her back, and Saeran’s heart thumped against his ribcage.

“Ha…you’re so cute. I know cats down like belly rubs but…” He reached out tentatively and gently ran his fingers across her belly fur. So…soft. She put her paws around his hand and nibbled his knuckles. “Is that too much?” He tried to pull his hand back, but she bit down harder. “Hey, that’s not fair. Stop that.”

Cho licked his hand apologetically with her sandpaper tongue and let go. Saeran would have to remember not to give too many belly rubs. Hopefully, she would poof back into a human any time, but it would be good to take mental notes of her likes and dislikes. It sort of reminded him of the fairy tales his brother used to tell to put him to sleep.

“Oh, maybe the princess needs a kiss from the prince?” He rested his head on the table and pushed his nose against her wet nose. But how was he to kiss a cat? He pecked her nose and mouth area, but nothing happened. “Well, it was worth a try.”

Cho licked him on the mouth; her sandpaper tongue felt pretty gross, but he tried not to grimace. He thanked her for the kiss and sighed. Maybe whatever was wrong with her would eventually wear off? He’d need to make a list of quality-of-life necessities and see if she agreed with them. In addition to food and toiletries, she probably needed toys. Maybe Jumin could recommend some cat trees.

Jesus Christ, he was beginning to sound like the man himself.

“I’m going to take care of you, Cho. Even if we can’t figure out how to change you back, I’ll love you. Just the way you are.”

Cho stretched into a stand and rammed her head against his several times. He couldn’t help but laugh as fur danced around his nostrils. They’d need several lint rollers, too. Would she want to go out on walks? He couldn’t keep her cooped up in the house, no matter how much he wanted to protect her. It would be fun if she could speak to other cats.

“By the way,” he whispered as he ran his fingers along her back. “I didn’t get to mention it the other day before I left for work. But thank you. You’ve worked really hard to help me despite my struggles. I know it’s not easy living with me. I can be an airhead sometimes, and I shouldn’t have put your shirt in the wash like you said. I just wanted to get it clean because it’s your favorite. Now it’s ruined. Gah, I don’t know anything about this stuff.” He ran his fingers through his hair, and Cho placed a paw on his cheek. He smiled shakily into her paw and pecked it.

Her paw grew warm until it was almost scalding. Before Saeran could freak out, cat paws turned to fingers. Her nose turned human, and the rest of her body followed, save for the cat ears on top of her head. Saeran’s face tingled, and he quickly looked away from her naked form.

“Omelette is ready,” she said. It almost sounded like a morphed meow, but he could tell it was her voice.

Saeran cocked his head to the side. “What?”

“Merowwake up.”

The top of his head began tingling and sent a cool sensation down his neck; he went to scratch his head, but his hands were fuzzy. As he stared at them, they grew into paws. He sneezed as fur tickled his nose. Wait, no. He didn’t want to be a cat, either! How could he learn to cook with his girlfriend? Pick out the kitten together?

As he cried out, only meows echoed against his skull. The kitchen stretched into ginormous walls as he shrunk and shrunk and shrunk. He reached his little paws as far as he could to grab hold of Cho, but he fell off the chair.

Before he hit the ground, his surroundings changed. Bedsheets stuck to his back, and his fingers gripped the comforter. Fingers. Good. He stretched them out in front of his face to make sure he hadn’t grown paws. There were no ears on the top of his head, either.

“You’re acting lively,” Cho said. She set a glass of orange juice on the nightstand. “I hope that means your fever is down.”

Saeran rolled his head over on the pillow. Cho held a plate of omelettes and sat next to him. The bed creaked as she crossed her legs and stabbed the food with a spoon. She wasn’t a cat. He wasn’t a cat. And in the end, he hadn’t even woken up to make her breakfast.

“I’m sorry I’m so useless,” he mumbled. “I meant to wake up and make you something since you’re always doing it.”

She rolled her eyes. “You went to bed with a fever, don’t even start. And I enjoy doing these things. It gives me a sense of freedom.”

She pushed the spoon towards Saeran, and he took the food without complaint. He’d stayed up all night over the toilet; no wonder his dreams were whack. He debated on telling her, but the thought embarrassed him. He didn’t want to seem as cat obsessed as Jumin. Saeran couldn’t lie, though. He was a bit nervous about taking care of something totally reliant upon him, but Cho said they were ready.

After his meal, Cho gave him cold medicine and ran her fingers through his hair. “I know you’re stressed about postponing with the shelter,” she said, gathering the dishes. “But it’s no big deal. Just get some rest.” She leaned down and kissed his nose.

He closed his eyes and touched where she had kissed, making sure to imprint it into his memory. “I’m sorry about your shirt,” he mumbled.

She sighed and pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “Don’t worry about it. Make it up to me by feeling better soon, okay?”

He nodded as she left the room with dishes in tow. His eyes were heavy even though he had just slept. Part of him wanted to jump up and offer to do the dishes. Offer to make her food. Offer something, anything. Yet his body fought against his mind. There was no energy left in his limbs. He’d make it up to her eventually. He’d promised her that he’d take better care of himself. Thus, he allowed the voices to quiet down in his mind and sleep peacefully.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger saeran #saeran choi #mysme reverse big bang #mysme rbb

[sylvanfreckles]

Day Ten: Sweater

Fandom: Grimm

Summary: Monroe gives Nick a Truly Awful (tm) Christmas sweater. Juliette tries to make him wear it with no luck...until Hank steps in.

* * *

Nick settled onto the couch, coffee in hand, as Juliette and Monroe's chatter from the kitchen filled the air. “Thanks for this,” he commented, gesturing at the space around them.

Rosalee, curled up at the other end of the couch, raised her eyebrows in question. “For...dinner?”

“No,” Nick shook his head with a grin and waved his hand to indicate Monroe's heavily-decorated home. “This. I know you're not big into the Christmas stuff, but it means a lot to Monroe.”

“Oh,” Rosalee nodded. “Well, it's important to him. And I think it's...growing on me,” she added with a shrug.

“Like athlete's foot.”

“Nick!” Rosalee, pretending to be shocked, kicked his hip. “That's rude.”

“He took Juliette to some artisan market last week,” Nick complained dramatically. “My house is full of Poinsettias now. And you should see the nativity creche she brought home.”

“What about it?” Juliette asked, appearing behind the couch to lean over and wrap her arms around her boyfriend. “You told me you love it.”

“And I do,” Nick replied, leaning back to look up at her. “I was just telling Rosalee about it.”

“Uh-huh.” The red-haired woman pressed a quick kiss to Nick's temple before settling down on the arm of the couch beside him. “It's carved from driftwood,” she explained. “This adorable old man walks up and down the beaches every morning to gather it himself.”

“And he makes all his paints the old-fashioned way,” Monroe interjected. He brought out a cup of coffee for Rosalee, and a wrapped present that he handed to Nick. “All-natural plant dyes.”

Nick accepted the present and frowned at it. “What's this?”

“You're supposed to be the detective, Nick,” Monroe shook his head in mock dismay, pulling his armchair up to be closer to the trio on the couch. “It's a present.”

“We're not exchanging gifts until Christmas,” Nick protested. He and Hank were pulling the first shift on Christmas Day, and they'd agreed to all meet for drinks and dessert and gift exchanging after. Hence the early Christmas dinner with Monroe and Rosalee tonight.

“Yeah, but this is the kinda thing you want to have before Christmas,” Monroe explained. “Go on, open it.”

Nick glanced up at Juliette, who shrugged back at him, then handed her his coffee before popping the tape free on the colorful paper. There was a plain white shirt box under the paper, and inside the box...

“Oh, how cute!” Juliette exclaimed. “It's a Christmas sweater!”

It was a Christmas sweater, if only because it couldn't be called anything else. There was tinsel. There were snowmen. There was a big, coca-cola Santa with one finger to his lips and one leg in a chimney. It was red. And green. And gold. And silver. And horrible.

“Juliette said you didn't have a Christmas sweater,” Monroe offered helpfully, nodding at the abomination in Nick's lap. At the other end of the couch Rosalee had a fist in her mouth to muffle her laughter, and Juliette was practically cooing over how cute she thought the sweater was.

“Oh. I, uh...thanks, Monroe,” Nick worked up a smile for his friend and tried to close the box back up. “I'll just...put it away...”

“Try it on, Nick,” Rosalee teased, nearly shaking in suppressed laughter.

Before he could answer (and, really, what could he say) his phone started to ring. Nick shot to his feet, barely remembering to be gentle as he placed the sweater on the couch. “I'd better get that,” he explained, pulling his phone out and hurrying out of the room.

“You did that on purpose!” Juliette called after him.

* * *

“It's supposed to be cold today,” Juliette commented as she scrolled through her phone.

“It's Portland,” Nick replied. He managed to slide the sunny-side up eggs onto the toast without breaking the yolk and placed the plate in front of Juliette with a flourish. “It's cold here nine months of the year.”

“I'm just saying, you should dress warm today,” she said. “Extra layers.”

“No,” Nick pointed his fork at her. “No, I am not wearing that sweater.”

“I've seen you wear worse to the office,” she protested. “It would mean so much to Monroe.”

“He wouldn't even see me wear it,” he shook his his head and cut through the yolk of his eggs.

“I'd send him pictures.”

“Then definitely not. Those pictures would end up in Hank's phone, too. Then they'd someone end up on Wu's, then the rest of the department would see it. No.”

Juliette sighed and propped her chin in one hand, watching him eat breakfast. “It's a really nice sweater, Nick.”

“Yeah? Then you wear it.”

“No way.”

* * *

“Nick?” Juliette hurried into the precinct, tote bag in hand. “Nick, are you okay?”

He greeted her with a smile, taking her hand as she got closer. “Perp got a nosebleed on me. Can't walk around looking like that all day.”

“I thought you kept a spare shirt in your locker,” she commented, handing him the bag. “Why did you ask me to bring you a new one?”

“This was my spare,” he explained. He dumped me in a snowbank first and I got soaked. Thanks for bringing this by.”

Nick opened the bag and grabbed a handful of...knitting? He tugged just enough out of the bag to recognize the red-green-gold-silver of the Abominable Christmas Sweater before stuffing it back in and shoving the bag into Juliette's arms. “No.”

He knew Hank's locker combo anyway. His partner wouldn't mind.

* * *

“Merry Christmas!” Hank boomed out, wrapping his arms around Juliette when she answered the door. “Is your worse half ready for the day yet?”

“Merry Christmas, Hank,” Juliette laughed when he set her down and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “He's ready, but he's not in the spirit.”

“No, Juliette!” Nick trotted down the stairs, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt on his way to the kitchen for his travel mug of coffee. “I'm still not wearing it.”

“Not wearing what?”

“Monroe gave him a Christmas sweater,” Juliette whispered. She'd left it hidden in the tote bag next to the door, and opened it up enough that he could see the gaudy fabric inside. “I've been trying to get him to wear it for days.”

Hank blew out a low whistle. He glanced up to make sure Nick wasn't watching and stuffed the tote bag into his jacket. “Leave it to me,” he winked.

“Leave what to you?” Nick asked, joining them near the door.

“Getting you safely to work and back home for Christmas,” Hank replied smoothly. “Now let's go, partner, let's go!”

* * *

“Why is it the one call we get I end up in a snowbank again?” Nick complained. Christmas was usually fairly quiet, even for a city as big as Portland, and they'd been lucky to only have one call-out this year. Just a possible homicide that had turned out to be a staged protest by a vegan group against some sort of community turkey-frying party.

“Hey, if you ain't got the moves, you're gonna end up in a few snowbanks,” Hank replied, leaning against his locker. “You ready?”

“I don't think I have a change of clothes in here,” Nick complained. “You mind stopping by my place on the way to Monroe's?”

“No need,” Hank announced, stepping back and swinging the door of his locker open to reveal the Abominable Christmas Sweater in all its gaudy glory.

“You...” Nick spluttered for words for a moment. “You did this on purpose!” he accused, shaking the damp fabric of his button-down shirt. “You...you traitor!”

“I don't think you want to say that to the man that has Sergeant Wu on speed-dial.”

Nick tried to glare at him, but Hank just gestured to the sweater and bowed. “Well?”

With a sigh of frustration Nick whipped off his wet shirt and tugged the Abominable Christmas Sweater over his head. It was warm, at least. Not too scratchy. And when he was wearing it he barely noticed how badly the colors clashed. “Happy now?” he asked, arms spread out for Hank's appraisal.

“Ecstatic,” Hank retorted, slamming his locker shut. “Now let's get out of here before Monroe forgets to spike the eggnog.”

Rolling his eyes, Nick followed his partner out of the locker room. At least there was no one else here to witness his embarrassment...

“Hey, Burkhardt! Nice sweater!”

* * *

Just two more days! Can you believe it?

Next Time: Star - “This house has seen storms a lot bigger than this; we’ll be safe until it passes.”

* * *

Day Nine - Master List - Day Eleven

#grimm #fanfic #humor #ugly sweaters #hank is a troll #nick burkhardt #juliette silverton #rosalee calvert #monroe #hank griffin #christmas #twelve days of fictmas 2020

[carry-on-snowbazzing]

My 5 best of 2020 (in 2021 😂)

1. A summer day ☀

"Well, Baz! Do you want to move?" Penelope yelled, already in the car (a certain MG dated 1967).

Simon studied his own reflection in the rearview mirror, running a hand through his bronze curly tuft and resulting in even more messiness.

"A minute!" was the answer from a few floors above the apartment.

Penelope rolled her eyes and picked up her Iphone.

Shortly after, hurried footsteps were heard coming down the stairs and Baz, after closing the door, got into the car.

Simon leaned out of the back seat and kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled and, starting the engine, exclaimed:

"Destination: fun!"

  Later there were four of them getting out of the car: Baz with a beach umbrella over his shoulder, Simon struggling with a giant inflatable pink flamingo, Penelope with a cooler bag, and Agatha with another bag, containing beach towels and sunscreen.

"The weather forecasts were right; today’s a perfect day for the sea," Penelope commented as she slipped off her flip-flops and dropped her bag into the sand.

"Edward shines like a fairy!" Simon yelled, putting on a pair of sunglasses and pointing to Baz.

"Stop it, Snow," he laughed, "and give me my glasses back; all this sunshine stuns me."

Trying to ignore them, Agatha took off her cover-up and began to rub off the protection angrily.

"Whoever dives himself last is a pixie!" Simon yelled, throwing his t-shirt and starting to run towards the sea with Penelope at his heels.

Several splashes and laughter later, the two returned wet, smiling and hungry.

Meanwhile, Baz and Agatha had dedicated themselves to crossword puzzles and to the horoscope.

"Agatha, there must be some butter and turkey sandwiches in the cooler," Penelope said as she wrapped herself in her towel.

"I couldn't find anything better for you than beef carpaccio," she said to Baz.

He smiled making 'OK' with both thumbs.

"And for me?" Agatha asked, offended that her friend hadn't thought of her too.

"Fruit salad" she replied. "I know you're on a vegetarian diet."

Agatha blushed feeling a little guilty and muttered something like "Oh, thank you".

Everyone literally devoured their lunch, because, as Simon ruled on his fifth butter sandwich, "The sea makes you hungry."

They gossiped a bit about their old classmates, wondering if Gareth still had his belt buckle as a wand and if Trixie had a fight with his girlfriend.

  They lost track of time after falling asleep in the early afternoon sun.

It was the sound of a notification that woke Agatha, who, after seeing her mother's message ('Where are you? Coven party tonight!'), made a shrill sound that woke the others too.

"Damn, I'm in mega-delay!" she complained, sitting up and hastily gathering his things.

Seeing her so agitated, no one dared contradict her and they hurried too.

Before leaving for the return, all already in the car, Simon took out a Polaroid from the trunk (not an easy feat, given the bulky mass of the flamingo) and urged them:

"Wait! Say 'cheese'!"

Everyone posed, waiting for the flash.

Once the picture was taken, Simon reached for the film that had just come out of the instant camera, but found himself clutching a slice of Emmental in his fingers.

Baz couldn't help himself and laughed uncontrollably.

"Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch!" Simon bursted, but he couldn't bear a grudge and joined in the general laughter.

___________________________________________________

2. Shopping (Big & Little) 🥄

"They'll be emptying the mall, those two" Agatha commented, looking at the clock on the kitchen wall and adding another egg to the bowl.

"Probably" replied Penelope, who was handling the curry risotto.

"They've been away for three hours!" Agatha insisted, "and with two credit cards!".

Penelope gave her a look like 'what can we do?' and again consulted the handwritten note attached to the refrigerator with a magnet (shaped like a scone).

"Oh, I forgot the onion!" she moaned after a quick glance, "my mother would kill me if she knew!".

She went back to the stove and for a few minutes they remained silent, one intent on vigorously banging the whips, the other busy slicing the bulb.

Once Agatha had baked the chocolate cake (wiping a non-existent sweat with her glove) and Penelope had remedied her mistake, the girls dropped onto the sofa.

They were just debating which movie to watch that night when they heard the key turn in the lock and Simon exclaim from the entrance:

"We’re at home!"

The two joined them in the living room and Baz asked:

"Curry and chocolate?"

Penelope nodded.

"Sometimes I wish I was a vampire; just smell a dish to understand if the doses are right or wrong," she sighed.

"Shopping?" Agatha asked, looking at the numerous envelopes they both had in their hands and casting a reproachful look at Simon.

"There were the sales" he tried to justify himself, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hurry up; you’ll show us your spoils of war after dinner" Penelope ordered.

  "What do you think?" Simon began, smugly showing a set of jeans for Baz and a giant jar of sour cherries scones.

Penelope seemed to try not to roll her eyes.

"I stayed on the intellectual side" Baz said, pulling a stack of books and a pack of pastel highlighters out of a bag.

"I need them for the college" he explained to Agatha, who was trying to get hold of the markers.

"And you haven't seen the piece of resistence!" Simon shrieked, grabbing a smiling Baz by the wrist and dragging him into the nearest room.

They came out moments later walking backwards (in what was supposed to be an imitation of Michael Jackson's moonwalk), so they could only see their backs.

"3, 2, 1 ..." Baz counted.

"Ta daaaan!" Simon exclaimed as they turned at the same time.

They wore matching gray sweatshirts; both had a black molded spoon.

'Big' was written on Baz's, while Simon's 'Little'.

"Awww" the girls screamed in unison, in the grip of a fangirl attack (which managed to make Agatha look adoring too).

"We have a pair for you too" Baz said, handing Penelope a black t-shirt with 'Brownie' on it, while Simon gave Agatha a white one with 'Blondie' on it.

"Thanks, guys" Penelope murmured moved and Agatha initiated a group hug.

photos references

------------------------------------------------------------------

3. Anniversary 💞

here

------------------------------------------------------------------

4. Ops! 🧴

 Simon knocked for the tenth time on the bathroom door:

"Occupied!" Baz yelled for the tenth time.

"And sorry, but I can't hold it anymore anymore ..."

Simon abruptly released the handle, abandoning his irritated tone.

He let out a cry, muffled by the hands that he immediately brought to his mouth.

Baz was shirtless in front of the mirror, glaring at his own reflection.

Everything was perfectly normal, except for his hair: it had turned from raven to red.

Fawn red.

"If you tell anyone about this, Snow, I will end you" he growled menacingly.

Simon stood there, speechless. When he had regained the use of his mouth, he barely stifled a laugh and intoned:

“Weasley is our king

he always lets the Quaffle in ... "

From Baz's look, he knew it would be wiser to stop, so he did it.

He approached cautiously and asked gently:

"What happened to you?".

"I wish I knew; I was taking a normal shampoo shower" sighed Baz.

Meanwhile Simon had reached the sink and was looking closely at the bottle of the citron and bergamot scented blend.

"It doesn't seem to have anything strange" he then ruled, placing it back on the shelf.

"Indeed; I went to get it from my home in Hampshire; Daphne can only find it in our town's herbalist's shop," Baz replied sadly.

"I really can't explain it" he went on, unable to get over it.

"My sister gave it to me ..." he stopped suddenly.

He clapped her forehead and turned on the lock screen of his smartphone.

"Today is April 1st," he murmured.

He took the vial in one hand and, with the ivory wand in the other, exclaimed:

"Show me your secrets!".

The writing on the label changed from 'Shampoo with citrus notes' to 'Permanent color intense red'.

"MORDELIAAAAA!" he screamed as Simon rolled with laughter.

"April Fool!" he managed to exclaim between a laugh and another.

That’s totally inspired by a fanart of @vkelleyart​ 💖 :  that 

------------------------------------------------------------------

5. Trick or treat? 👻

 "Well, Baz! If you don't move, we'll only have the sub-brand candy left!" Simon railed.

With all the peace of mind he could, Baz went down the stairs and joined his screaming boyfriend, who was immediately silent at his sight.

"Morgana, Basilton; you really mean it" Penelope commented, watching him as she lit another candle to put in the Jack o 'lanterns carved by Simon and Baz (which occupied all the flat surfaces of the apartment).

"I've been doing some accurate researches over the last week" he began, making a theatrical gesture in his vampire cloak.

"You even have the same jacket as Gary Oldman" she observed excitedly.

He, in response, gave her a perfidious look, baring his fangs.

Simon was still in his silence and couldn't take his eyes off him.

"What's up Snow, the cat got your tongue?" Baz asked, amused.

He answered with a tongue sticking out and approached him with a raised eyebrow (in perfect Baz style).

"Wow" he commented after kissing him on the cheek.

"Enjoy yourselves!" Penelope exclaimed as they came out hand in hand.

  "Where do we go now?" Baz asked.

Simon moved with great ease between one bell and another, meticulously illustrating the specialties offered by each house.

His phrases were: "Here you can always find top quality stuff", or "No, better to avoid an indigestion".

After scouring all the houses on the first five blocks, Simon had an epiphany.

"For a thousand snakes! Baz, we absolutely have to go to the 'Spooky night' party!" he screamed, making him jump.

"Crowley, Snow! Calm down!" he retorted irritably, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt.

"You don't understand," Simon insisted.

"Our loot is loser when compared to everything you can find there; Strawberry Blood Drip, Every Flavour Beans, Pumpkin PIE, Butterbeer and, hold on ... Oreo with Orange Cream!"

Baz, seeing him so excited ('like a child', he thought), couldn’t say no to him (although he wanted to go home more than anything else; his feet protested against Count Dracula's boots).

"And where would it be?" he asked, trying not to smile.

"A couple of blocks from here; hurry up!" Simon urged him, taking him by the hand and starting to run.

  "A delusion!" Simon snapped, leaving the bag full of sweets on the doormat.

"What happened?" Penelope asked Baz, who had just closed the door behind him and limped desperately as he headed for the sofa.

"In short at that damn party they had finished everything and told us our costumes sucked" he explained.

Simon was with his arms folded, all sulking, sitting in the armchair.

"Look at their costumes! And let me have something to eat, rather!" he barked.

Penelope approached him and, looking at him tenderly, reassured him:

"We always have our repertoire of horror films."

Simon shrugged, hitting the nearby lamp.

"And I was prepared for any eventuality," she went on, snapping her fingers and popping up a pack of Oreos with orange cream.

Simon's face cleared, illuminated by a huge grin.

__________________________________________________

Ty @letraspal​ for tagging me 💕

That’s all; hope u like it!  💜

Happy new Year! ✨

#snowbaz #sorry cuz i'm late #my 5 best of 2020 #hope u enjoy

[periodictablesimschallenge]

Wow it’s been a while! I went camping last weekend and then I was trying to be responsible yesterday and I just haven’t gotten around to posting again, and when I’ve gotten on tumblr in the last 2 days I get sucked in just reblogging a bunch of stuff or I just start playing and the screenshots pile up 😬😬😬

Anyways here is party 2 of my Periodic Table 100 baby challenge

We met this hottie, Chaz, at the city community area (I always forget what it’s called)

We also met this hunk of burning love, Pacific. So she decided to tackle them both for baby #1

He likes her pretty quickly, started showing off his muscles

Harvest fest was pretty soon after starting this so she went out and made a bunch of friends and invited them over. She made a nice Turkey dinner and then the PREGNANT caterer came over and she went into labor while here and kept going out to the garbage bins to breath 😂 then she chilled in my bed before making more harvest fest food. I also just won the lottery before this so I gave her some simoleons for catering and for a baby gift. We ended the night singing about harvest fest outside and said goodnight

Spice festival was fun but everyone she tried talking to her blogs she either was ignored or she was being rejected by them 😓

Chaz: come get your fresh spicy curry!

Hydee: it’s so good to see you! You wanna come back to my place later 😉

Chaz: Uh… no. I gotta go I’m working

Hydee: …… ok…..

Hydee: *tells interesting story about the spice festival*

Pacific: *while ignoring Hydee* So Mirabelle, there’s a spice festival going on across the street, should we go?

Mirabelle: er… yeah, sounds great, c’mon Hydee

Hydee: 🙄 🤦🏻‍♀️ 🤷🏻‍♀️ *internally* I better get laid tonight

(She did not)

After the craze of harvest fest we took down the decorations and got some sleep before our first day at work. Made some nice breakfast before work and had a pretty good day

Hydee: say ah!

Patient: Aaaah

She went to hang out with Chaz at the chalet garden house in windenburg (his choice not mine) and a random townie froze to death

I may or may not have killed him to get him to stop talking to us… I regretted it instantly but then got to flirt with the Grimm reaper instead (she kissed his corpse looking hands and I nearly barfed lol)

Then Chaz got to his senses and we kissed and made up

Another day another dollar! After work we got a promotion and invited pacific over for dinner and got some action, later I found out he’s married but in 100 baby challenge who cares lol

Also I think some jerky setting in mccc is on because she gains skill levels wicked fast 😬 she went from level 6 cooking to level 10 after 3 or 4 meals 🤷🏻‍♀️

We went to a strip club!!! I downloaded one from the gallery when I was working on making a better save file. Anyways we went with Chaz and woohooed in one of the beds there and then after that she went to go to the bathroom and ran into Pacific!! So she woohooed with him as well (apparently risky woohoo isn’t a thing cuz I was trying to do it by chance but that didn’t work…)

Pacific ended up being one of my patients so I took his temperature, took him to x Ray, then swabbed his mouth 😏😉

Then we invited both Chaz and pacific to our house which was a mistake because Pacific kissed me in front of Chaz and he was hard for offended. It took a bit to get him to try for baby with me after we did that with pacific and then on top of that, I got abducted and I have an mccc setting that makes the chance for females to get pregnant higher

It’s official we are pregnant who could the baby daddy be? Pacific? Chaz? Or an Alien 👽 😬😬😬 this is fine.

Thanks for coming to the really long update 😅

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E4 LiveThoughts

And were back at it again, this week with turkey and Italian preserved sausage as a snack! Lets see what RT has for us this week.

Oh, 20 minutes. Are they normally this long?

Oh, wait, the openings almost 2 minutes long. Thats more like it.

And now to Robyn and Qrow. Seems Robyns actually liking Qrow a little bit now. 

Guess the cells aren’t secured if a fly got into Schnee’s. This a “Fly on Mike Pence’s face” reference?

Qrow sounds more growly again. Did he get smacked back two seasons by Clover dying?

If by “darkness” you mean “Tyrian” then, yes. Also dude, its Clover. He was shit anyway. All the Aces are shit. Dont feel too bad about him.

And he’s got a point too. If Clover had thought with his head instead of his dick (yes, Im sure they were gonna fuck, Fair Games totally a thing), he probably wouldnt be dead now, and Tyrian would be the one with the sword through his chest.

But of course this is RWBY and V7/8 so things cant go their ways.

Ouch. Deep thoughts of Qrow. And some interesting stuff from Robyn too. I still think I’d prefer hopeandharmonizing’s Briar, though.

Marrows glare gives me life. Hare’s just a moron right now though, but thats no real surprise. She’s immature emotionally.  Honestly, shes...kind of like a less bad version of our current President. Always has to be the best at everything, fastest, leader, whatever.

Thats probably why this is grating on her so much. Even though shes TECHNICALLY the Ace’s leader now (I think? Seemed like she was Clovers lieutenant, so by rate of succession she’s in command now)

A glance at the little floating control pad... “Clerance access only”. Okay, that...seems weird. Shouldnt it say something like authorized personell only? Maybe it means access by clerance only or something.

Then Robyn’s name, and then process ID 4591-27. No idea what thats useful for but its there.

Also Marrow seems to be the only competent member of the Aces rn. 

Ah now we get to see some of the hills around Atlas. For those of you who have seen my headcanons on the Hunter-Killers and their base of operations, Fortress Academy, its out in these hills somewhere.

The music sounds like a boss fight.

The screen on Ren’s hoverbike reads “HVB Rhino” and “HD5800″ I can only assume HVB stands for “hoverbike” and Rhino must be its name, like how the dropships are Mantas. No clue what the number is. 

Also apparently the cold in Solitas is so bad it corrupts machinery?

Ahh, good, some action. Lets see what we get now. Ohh, teamwork. And again, signs that aura allows you to move faster and farther than a normal human

Heh, it really is like a boss fight, like the chase scene at the end of the first Viking level in For Honor.

Oh, and it can call for reenforcements literally out of nowhere? Or is the whole tundra of Solitas just CRAWLING with Grimm?

Yes, yes it did just call for backup, Yang. Maybe these are all forward scouts and ambush units from the Grimmstorm. They did say its the biggest...

Another banger from Casey Lee Williams...

What the hell happened in Solitas to cause this geography? Seriously, its a line of bridges over a gap in two cliffs...that cant be natrual, not that equal in distance.

Man, those bikes didnt even last half an episode...I guess thats fair, they are facing obsurd odds. Or maybe they just want Yang to be the only one with a bike.

And there goes the dropwall. Woops.

Also you can just kinda see it but they bounce off the rock and thats why they slow down. Useful.

Also this part with them falling off the edge reminds me of the ending cutscene of Halo 4s Forerunner level, where Chief flies out of a portal and almost goes sailing off a cliff in a Ghost.  Except here, the bike stays on the land and THEY go off the cliff.

I paused at just the right time cause YANGS FACE XD

Holy shit what are Ren’s weapons cables MADE OF? The one atop him is holding him AND the weight of his two teammates. And the one below has both Jaune and Yang. No sign of slippage or breackage at all. 

Ahhh there’s the whaleship (Monstra? Fuck it Im gonna keep calling it the whaleship). So yeah my headcanon now is the mountain its right next too is Menachite, where Fortress is. 

Oh hey back to the Schnee manor of all things! Does...this mean military invasion of the Schnee grounds. Hey Whitley. Lesbians are here. 

Someone make a video cut of Weiss banging on the door to the “Knock knock open up the door its real!” part of that one song.

Hehehehhe. Nice Weiss.

Also convenient about the house staff. Good thing RT doesnt need to animate them or Willow now...

I hope the staff took some of the silverware and some paintings on the way out.

Why is MAY the one carrying Nora.

Ah so now they’re stuck out there with no cell service. Hehe.

Ah okay so the cold in Solitas DOES eat aura. Good, my headcanon still kind of stands. 

I wonder, does wearing proper cold weather clothing (like bundled up stuff) help? Or does it cut right through...

Why is JAUNE the one hauling the bike? Isnt Yang the strongest? Or maybe they take turns.

Ahhh inter-team talking. Also, outpost. Hmm. Atlas one? Overrun if I had to guess. Unless he saw Fortress. Which I doubt.

I do love the circling shot here, with the light on Yang’s hair and the shadows on Ren. Its...really artistic and emotional. GREAT WORK RT. 

Rens got points. And hes saying stuff I myself have been saying for ages, which is good. I wonder why this is how Ren is now...working with the Ace Ops? Being afraid of loosing Nora? No one tell him what happened last episode.

Also, Jaune’s hair seems to have gotten less crazy in recent episodes. It looks less like a banana and more like a close tactical cut.

Yangs got a point.

Ahhh and now we get to see the inside of the whale. 

SALEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SHOWING THE FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY. WE GET IT. 

...this is gonna be a really criingy torture section, isnt it.

Someones gonna take that “hound didnt break you” line in the WRONG direction 

It is amusing the only thing holding Oscar down is the Hound actually. 

Ah so they’re still searching the remains of Beacon.

Also I like how Salem calls them “her forces” as if its anything but a random bunch of expendable monsters. Like, bruh, you cant search anything with THAT.

Ignoring the boring chat between these two, notice how the Hound’s shoulder literally flexes and shifts when Salem touched it. I dont think this thing is solid at all aside from the head and the bone claws...the whole thing is just amorphous Grimm material that can adapt to whatever situation it requires. A specialist unit. A...Hunter hunter.

Yo what the fuck was that. Magic? Huh. Did we actually SEE magic for once in the show? Only took us 8 FUCKING SEASONS...

Doesnt seem to be anything but an energy blast/pain never firing though. I assume his auras still gone, cause its completely singed his shirt, but it didnt do much else.

...Im not impressed.

She really needs to stop touching his face, its creeping me out.

HAHA SHE CANT DO IT HERSELF SHE HAS TO RELY ON HAZEL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I think we know where she stands now, doesnt she...say what you will about her letting Hazel have his vengeance (which is very valid, even he admits hit), but me? I think she A) cant actually beat up on Ozma herself because she still cares and B) shes almost out of magic too. Its weakened as the Gods have been gone and shes been forced to rely on the Grimm and on pawns. Basically, once she and Oz are both gone? That’s it for magic. Remnant will belong to the Grimm...and to technology. 

At which point without Oz around to hold them back Atlas is going to go fucking BONKERS and basically ensure the Grimm get pushed back into a corner and then finally permenantly STAMPED OUT.

More Whale insides. Seems like most of its empty grandious spaces. Or possibly muscle? Hard to tell. Either way theres a lot of open air in there...with tight corridors. If you fired a thermobaric warehead into one of the chambers the resulting blastc could possibly blow the doors off and send a raging fireball through the entire thing...Hmm. Filing that away for later.

NEO IS SO SHORT ITS FUNNY TO ME. I know its just positioning BUT SHE LOOKS EVEN SHORTER IN THIS SHOT THAN USUAL.

More note on the Hound; the “flesh” around its right shoulder spike actually sinks down when it stops moving. Its neck shifts and moves too, like the material isnt solid, but recirculating.

I also dont see any eyes. And it looks like it has some kind of...forehead mouth? Def looks like teeth down the ridge of its spine.

Oh boy yeah that...whole thing is basically melting in on itself.

I wont lie; hearing Cinder get berated by CORTANA (and yes, I still hear Cortana in Salem, espeically now that the two characters are kind of one and the same, both megalomaniacal leaders of giant armies, bar the fact that one of them is about a TRILLION times more dangerous than the other because one of them has access to Guardian Custodies and the other one is...well kind of lame and has to have beefy dudes beat up on small children etc) is pleasing to me. 

Get fucked, Cinder.

And THERE is Cortana again too.

Neo Marry Popins’s Ya’lling is fucking CUTE. And I love her little smirk.

Wait the whale’s that close?

..oh my...hold on.

...thats it. THATS ATLAS’S AIR FLEET!?!

12 AIRSHIPS? 12? EXCUSE ME!?

ARE YOU LEGITAMETLY TELLING ME THE BIGGEST MILITARY ON REMNANT HAS FEWER AIRSHIPS THAN THE SMALLEST NAVY ON EARTH HAS FRIGATES? YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT? THERE HAS TO BE MORE SOMEWHERE. THIS IS A JOKE, A STRAIGHT UP FUCKING JOKE.

...

No, thats...thats it. Thats Atlas’s airfleet. 12 tiny vessels. I swear it was bigger last season...

...HA! HAHA! HA! Oh, Ironwood, and Atlas as a whole...you deserve everything your about to get. I hope you die SCREAMING, and that when your bodies fall bleeding and shattered to Mantle, the people down there will realize that, no. You cant just assume Hunters will do all the work for you

THIS IS REMNANT. ITS KILL OR BE KILLED. YOU EITHER MAKE A FORCE POWERFUL ENOUGH THAT THE GRIMM RUN FROM YOU  OR YOU DIE INSTEAD. ATLAS FAILED. NOW THEY SUFFER.

Emerald stop simpin.

Also that is...the SHITTEST outpost...I have ever seen in my life. My overall thought process of Atlas is...sinking even LOWER than before. 

Though it seems more like a waystation. Bed, Dust, some dudes coat on it. Dead heater. Its probably a rest spot for Specialists out in the tundra.

Ren does the emo sit. Lol. Yang even says it. Brood himself to death.

Alright whats this now...something forcing itself out of the tundra?

And thats it for today! Cool ass concept art at the end there too. 

#rwby #rwby spoilers #spoilers #rwby v8

[animefan299110]

RWBY Christmas Party

Five years have passed since the defeat of Salem.  It’s Christmas time at the Xiao Long/Rose house and everyone is bustling to get ready for the holiday party.

Yang: You almost ready for the party, sis?

Ruby: Yep, I can’t wait to see everyone again.  We haven’t all been together since we saved the world; it’s gonna be great! (her face saddens)  I just wish Oscar was here to celebrate.

Yang (hugging her sister): Hey, don’t be so sad.  You know he’s got that job to do in Atlas. Besides, with any luck, he may be back for Christmas.

Ruby:  I know, but it just won’t be the same without him.

Yang: Daaaaw, does little Ruby miss her Cookie?

Ruby (her face blushing): Yang, quit treating me like a baby!  I’m 23 years old, for Remnant’s sake!

Yang (smirking): True, but you’ll always be my wittle baby sister.

Ruby: I AM NOT A LITTLE KID, YANG!!

Yang lets her sister go and laughs.

Yang: Okay, okay.  Well, don’t stay up for too long.  Everyone will be arriving soon.

Yang makes her way downstairs to see her dad hanging up Christmas decorations along the wall and Zwei walking around wearing a mini-ugly sweater.  She smells something good cooking in the kitchen and walks in to see her boyfriend tending to the stove. She hugs him from behind and rests her head against his back.

Yang: So how’s the food coming, Lover Boy?

Jaune: Almost done with the roast.  And no, you can’t have any before I serve it.

Yang (feigning a hurt look on her face): Jaune Arc!  How could you think such a thing about me?

Jaune (rolling his eyes): Because I know you’re not one to shy away from my cooking whenever you get the chance.

Yang: True, your cooking is great. (smirks) But I’d say you’re the tastiest dish of all.

Tai walks in.

Tai: You know, you might be able to get the cooking done faster if you let me help you, Jaune.

Yang: And I keep telling you, Dad, that the only time that I will let you cook for me or any of my friends is when we are down to cockroaches and dry bread.

Tai: How dare you!  Who gave you those delicious noodles when you and Ruby were little?

Yang: The noodles that were over-cooked?

Tai (gasp): Just for that, one of you gifts is getting returned!

Yang: Real mature, Dad.

DING DONG

Jaune: That’s probably them!

Yang: I’ll get it. (opens the front door) Hey guys!  Glad you could make it!

Blake: Hi Yang, thanks again for inviting me, my parents, and Sun over.

Yang: As if I wouldn’t invite my partner, her parents, and her boyfriend.

Sun: It sure was cool of you to do this, Yang.

The Belladonnas and Sun enter the house.  As they put away their coats, Ghira stares back and forth at various doorways and hanging decorations.

Blake: Dad, what are you looking at?

Ghira: Don’t mind me, Blake.  I’m just trying to find any mistletoe that I can confiscate.

Tai: Don’t bother; I made sure that there wouldn’t be any this year.

Ghira nods toward Tai in appreciation.

Blake: Dad, we’re not kids anymore, we’re adults.

Ghira: True, but we are here to celebrate this holiday, not to have make-out sessions.

Tai: Exactly, and as long we’re celebrating it here, this house shall remain PG-13.

Ghira: Mr. Xiao Long, I seem to have some newfound respect for you.

Ghira and Tai shake hands and nod in respect for each other while Kali pinches the bridge of her nose and their kids give each other deadpanned looks.

Yang (to Jaune): I don’t know what’s weirder: The fact that they still see us as kids, or the fact that they think we wouldn’t have make-out sessions without mistletoe.

DING DONG

Sun: I’ll get it (opens the door) Neptune, buddy!  Glad you, Weiss, and Penny could ma- (sees the position the two are in) Dude, why are you carrying Weiss in your arms?

Neptune: Well, the snow covered up most of the trail and Weiss didn’t want to get her shoes damaged.

Weiss: Of course I didn’t, these are very expensive shoes.  I didn’t want them to get broken or wet.

Blake: Well, glad to see that some things don’t change.

Ruby comes downstairs, to which Penny takes notice.

Penny: Ruby! (tackles Ruby into a bear-crushing hug)

Ruby (weakly): Hey Penny.

Penny stands up.

Penny: It is so good to see you again!  And thank you for inviting me to this Christmas party!  I am certain this will be a splendid cele- (notices Ruby’s sad features) What is troubling you, Ruby?

Ruby: Oh, it’s nothing Penny.  I just….I just wish Oscar was here.

Penny: I am certain he is fine, Ruby.  He’ll probably be home for Christmas. Besides, one should never be sad during such a joyous and festive occasion.

Ruby: Yeah, I guess you’re right.

KNOCK KNOCK

Jaune: More guests! (opens the door to reveal the next set of guests) Guys; glad you could make it!

Nora: C’mere, you big lug!! (wraps Jaune in a bone-crushing hug)

Jaune (strained) Good to see…you too, Nora.  *crack* Oh Gods, my ribs!

Ren: It’s good to see you all again.

???: Hey guys!

The others turn to see Coco, Ilia, Yatsu, and Fox behind Ren and Nora.

Blake: Glad you all could make it.

Ilia: Thanks for the invite, Blake.

Coco: We would have gotten here sooner, but we had to let a certain someone set the pace.

Coco, Fox, and Yatsu glance back at a woman who is six months pregnant and her husband slowly walking up the steps.

Jaune: Glad you two could make it.

Cardin: No problem, Jaune.  Thanks for inviting us. (turns to his wife) Okay hun, just a few more steps.

The couple enter the house and Cardin helps his wife onto a plush chair.

Cardin: Need anything at the moment?

Velvet: Some water would be nice, Cardin.  Oh, and some cold cuts!

Jaune: I can help with that. (to Cardin) I’ll show you where they are.

Cardin: Great. (whispers to Jaune as they head to the kitchen) I’ve heard of food cravings, but hers are on another level.

Yang (to Velvet): So, how many more months?

Velvet: Only a few. (rubs her stomach affectionately) I just can’t wait to see her.

Blake: I still can’t believe you and Cardin ended up together.

Velvet: It…was a bit of a shock to see him and have him apologize to me.  Even more so when he asked me out on a date. But he’s gotten better over time.  There are moments when he feels hesitant on trusting Faunus, but he’s better than he was at Beacon.

Blake: It’s something.  (Directs herself to Coco and Ilia) So have you two been?

Ilia: Great; I’ve been helping with more Faunus rights groups without going to extremes.

Coco: And I’ve been going around Mistral helping with any Grimm problems.  (Takes Ilia’s hand and smiles at her partner) On the plus side, we’re thinking about moving to Menagerie.

Sun: Really? That’s awesome!  We’d be neighbors!

Ilia: Yeah, we figured it would be nice to be close to your parents and help them out in any way we could.

Coco: Plus, Menagerie’s got some great clothing shops.

Ilia (shaking her head): Not one to turn away from fashion, Coco?

Coco: You know it, babe. (kisses Ilia)

Meanwhile, in the kitchen…

Jaune: So Velvet’s a vegetarian, but the baby craves meat?

Cardin: Yep, and not just any meat.  Specifically cold cuts; roast beef, turkey, ham, salami, the works.

Jaune: Look on the bright side, at least the baby’s not hankering for seafood.

Cardin (shivering): I don’t want to think about that.  We’d be flat-ass broke if the kid did. (hears Jaune chuckling to himself) What?

Jaune: Nothing, it’s just…this situation between you and Velvet is kind of ironic.  One day, you’re picking on her and calling her names. The next, you two are married and about to have a kid.

Cardin: Yeah, it’s a miracle that she even gave me a second chance.  After everything I’d done not just to her, but to others…I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve any of this.

Jaune: We all deserve second chances, Cardin.  Even you.

Cardin: It hasn’t been easy; I still have moments where I’m hesitant about trusting other Faunus.  But…that’s when Vel’s there for me.

Jaune (handing Cardin a beer): At least there’s that.  And she’s not the only one willing to help you, Cardin.  We’re all here for you; you don’t have to be afraid to ask for help.

Cardin: Thanks, Jaune.

The two sipped their beer before Jaune holds up a paper plate with cold cuts on it.

Jaune: Duty calls.

Cardin (chuckling): No kidding.

As the party continues on, the guests preoccupy themselves before dinner.  Velvet and Cardin talk with Yang, Jaune, Ren, and Nora about potential baby names.  In the end, they come up with Jack for a boy’s name and Cottontail for a girl’s. Blake, Sun, and Neptune talk with Ilia and Coco about open houses in Menagerie.  Tai has a deep conversation with Ghira and Kali about Faunus rights. Ruby, meanwhile, shows old family photos to Penny and Weiss, the former of whom is elated to see what her best friend was like when she was little.  Around 6:20pm…

KNOCK KNOCK

Yang: Were we expecting anyone else?

Jaune: Not that I know of.

Jaune walks to the door and cautiously opens it to reveal…

Everyone: Oscar?!

Oscar: Hi; sorry I’m late.  I just got back from my mis-

Ruby: COOKIE!!!!!

Using her Semblance, Ruby tackles Oscar, causing both to sail out of the house and onto the snowy pathway.  Ruby lands on top of Oscar before peppering his face with kisses.

Ruby: What are you doing here?  I thought you were gonna be gone for a few more days.

Oscar: I thought so too, but we were able to get the job done a few days early.  So I figured I’d surprise you by coming home for the party.

Ruby: *sniff* This is all I wanted for Christmas: you being home.

Oscar: Glad your wish came true then. (holds up a plate)  I also got you cookies from that bakery you liked in Atlas.

Ruby: Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!! (peppers his face with kisses)

Yang (from inside the house): Hey lovebirds!  How about getting out of the snow and into the house?

Ruby and Oscar laughs before she rides him piggy-back style into the house.

______________________

After the party…

Ruby: Well, tonight sure was a good turnout.

Oscar: Yep.  Oh by the way, I know it’s not Christmas yet, but I wanted to give you this.

Oscar hands Ruby a rectangular box.  Ruby opens it and gasps when she sees a necklace with a customized rose in the center.  She flips it over to read “The most beautiful rose in the world” on the back. Oscar helps her by fastening the necklace around her neck.

Ruby: It’s beautiful.

Oscar (wrapping his arms around her back): Merry Christmas, Rubes.

Ruby (wrapping her arms around his neck): Merry Christmas, Cookie.

#rwby ships #rwby #rwby dragonslayer #rwby rosegarden #rwby blacksun #rwby renora #rwby color coordinated #rwby iceberg #christmas prompts #christmas party #rwby bird and the bunny #christmas cuteness #happy holidays

[ndgo-nebula-violette]

RWBY: Grimm Campaign Episode 4 live reaction (spoilers ahead)

Chris why are you wearing sunglasses and Laura has a cat in the back of her video.

I actually needed the recap for this episode. So very much information heavy things happened last week.

Going to the hedges alright.

Kerry: I got a 5, I'm hungover on Soda.

Omg whoever decided it would be a good thing to zoom in on Chad's face when he's being sarcastic is brilliant.

Good. Fenix looking for Tacco shaped things.

Omg the image of Fenix yelling "Rude" because he didn't get mustard for his turkey legs is great. I'm glad Chris is staying on point with his character.

"I don't have a sword but thanks for the compliment" because Pyke thinks he's talking about him. Pyke baby. Love that.

Oooh sorry Chad. Nothing hurts my rogue soul more then a low role on a slight of hand.

Aaahhh thanks Kerry for this side story with the gashapon. Mini replica of Beacon awww that's cute.

Aaahh lffmfjdndkcndmd "I'd like to give the scroll back to Fenix" right after getting the number from 13 year old wanna be huntsman.

Asher: alright guys we need to keep our heads down on this one

Fenix: Says the person who just gave my number to a 13 year old.

I love these two. And these interactions.

Did he send you? Pyke just being intimidating. Im dying. The editing is gold. Kerry pls.

Kerry doing the small wave thing while Eddy continued to explain. Chris pointing up And the team just breaking into giggles. Them having a good time is making my day. (I need a gif of this moment)

Omg text to speech thing.

Fenix is our go to guy for communications. Fenix: I dont wanna be rude so i hand him my scroll

Eddy's character (i lost track) asking for a selfie: im gonna send you this

Rolling initiative. Aaaahhh yisss. They're gonna stop soon arent they? Yes. Fuuu no i want more. I'm sad.

#rwby #rwby: the grimm campaign #fenix nemean #pyke rite #asher mora #arrastra skye #first spoilers