he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
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just ended up sending in feedback about the layout to support.
But I have to say it here too, this new layout is such a pain in the ass to figure out. I hated twitter's layout for the same reason, its so annoying to use and everything feels so cluttered and squished in and distracting... it's actually headache inducing.
I really wish I had the option to switch back. I wish there was an option to CHOOSE between the two layouts. I wish I had the choice to opt out of "testing" this thing.
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" really should have been brought up before they even tried making this. It was fine before, and now the new layout is completely different and frustrating when it didn't need to be.
If I wanted Twitter's layout, I would have just fucking gone to Twitter.
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survived the weekend from hell and after a packed, sad, heartwarming, healing, and stressful couple travel days i'm home again... exhausted and drained, but home and feeling so much better after mourning and saying goodbye as a family ❤️ and we also got good news from the vet 🥹 thank you once again to anyone who left a kind comment last week, it meant the world to me 🫶🏼
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i love the different interpretations of what happens to physical bodies after revival. like with c!wilbur did he revive from the same bones? was the organic material recycled? did he have to dig his way out of rubble to be reuinited with the world? or did he appear right over where his bones still rest without a proper burial, forgotten by the people he thought would at least give him a funeral?
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Having a chat about the Barbie movie with @neroushalvaus helped me to put something that bothers me about the movie to words.
At the end of the movie, when Barbie becomes a human, we see her dressed in beige, sensible clothing. Symbolically, she has grown up into a woman – and as a woman, she no longer wears the bright, pink, girly clothing she used to wear earlier.
Meanwhile, in our reality, women come to watch this movie all dolled up in their best pinks and glitters – a movie that ends with Barbie, a world-famous emblem of femininity, leaving neon pink behind her and choosing to wear muted colours instead.
Somehow, in this regard, I feel like the real-life response to the movie is more uplifting than the movie itself. In real life, adult women are celebrating the movie by wearing girly clothing, and they’re feeling happy and confident while doing so. If bright, girlish aesthetic makes you feel good, growing up doesn’t mean you have to leave it behind.
The costume design makes sense for Barbie’s character arc, sure, but on a symbolic level... I don’t really like what it says about the relationship between girlish/hyper-feminine aesthetic and adulthood, and I guess it just makes me a little bit sad how that part of the story and the real-life response to the movie clash.
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I'm just going to say it: this has been a shitty week. I had a lot of work related stress, a FEW migraines (and it's only fucking Thursday), house buying stress, and then to top it all off the offer we put in on a house was just outright refused. They didn't even come back with a counter offer. So I got really upset and ate three-quarters of a candy bar on my lunch which I don't love for me as a grown adult who is trying to stop eating her feelings.
But I have tomorrow off, I just finished a workout so I have nothing but being lazy to do for the rest of the day, and I'm currently reading my Advanced Readers Copy of the new Murderbot Diaries book that comes out this Fall.
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