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#when i heard online school was back i was devastated
ninapi · 1 year
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Premise: Rintarou unexpectedly meets the girl of his dreams through an online game and he does his best to find this mysterious girl in the real world and keep her for good.
Word Count: 3289
Note: Hello, my beautiful dumplings. Welcome to my Suna miniseries, huhuhu. This will be a short story (4 chapters lol sorry, that’s my definition of short 🙃 sometimes I wonder how people write complete stories under 800 words, I just cant-), while I prepare for my new big series. Some high school drama, no multiple endings or routes just one~ Smooches for all of you.
Warning: Mild spoilers, if you’re up to date with the anime you’ll be just fine.
Chapter 1: Not so bad.
Suna Rintarou was by no means enjoying his second year of high school. Summer weather was definitely not his favorite, always tough on him, but the agony was even worse this year. He was tired, not just physically but mentally, the toll of dealing not only with his own sense of failure but also his teammates who were gravely disappointed of not being able to give their captain the satisfaction of going to the finals and bring victory to their school in his last year on the team.
It hasn’t been long since Inarizaki lost to Karasuno, which meant the practice schedule has increased not only in frequency but also in intensity. Days were very long and every single muscle in Suna’s body hurt. He was really looking forward to the holiday weekend, meaning he would have an extra day to rest.
His classmates were raving about this new online game that had recently come out and was very popular. They had plans to play together during the weekend and advance into one of the heaviest of dungeons before classes resumed, but their plan came to a sudden stop, the twins were being dragged by their mother into a family wedding across the country and they wouldn’t be able to join the team.
The boys were devastated, whining men heard all over the class. They were really counting on the Miya power to beat the hell out of the dungeon boss, help was needed desperately.
¨Hey Suna, I know you said you didn’t like the gameplay you watched the other day but can you please join our team? Without Osamu in our side we are doomed.¨ Suna heaved a deep sigh, collapsing on top of his desk. ¨Am I your last option? Can’t you find someone who really wants to play this? I’m so tired, I was planning on staying in bed all weekend.¨ Osamu pulled him back up, giving him a stern look, ¨Come on, help your mates. I wish I could stay and beat them up but there’s nothing we can do about it, it’s just for this weekend, we’ll be back for the next and continue where you left off.¨ he really didn’t want to do this, but if he didn’t agree to it they wouldn’t shut up until he did, ¨Fine, text me the link. I’ll be there after dinner.¨ the boys were smothering him with hugs and trying to kiss off his face in joy, making him grimace as he shook them all off and went back to sleep on his very comfy desk. The thought of finally resting this weekend turning into nothing but a sad memory.
・ 。゚☆: .☾ . :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.・
The guys added him to a group chat and everything was ready for the first quest. 
His sister tied his hair up at the front in a tiny ponytail so he would look like some of those cute game-streamers she watches, not caring if her brother needed it or not with his hairstyle. He was beyond annoyed with life in general, why do people not leave him alone, even his sister was now conspiring to destroy his peaceful long holiday weekend, ¨Curse those damn twins. It’s all their fault.¨ he was grumbling under his breath while putting his headset on and going in the game to create his character.
¨Alright guys, let’s go level up first, stay in this area and let’s meet up at the bottom of the hill when you reach level 20, then we’ll move in to the forest.¨ they all hummed in acknowledgement, breaking the group. Suna went off to chase some slimes and smaller monsters, hating his life every second of it, the game had a very cute looking art style and it was just not his jam at all. He found it hilarious though that the toughest guys in his class were all hunting cute rabbits and crying over it out loud and in their shared group chat space, so he made sure to screenshot some of those moments, posting them in his account and tagging all his playmates. He had to get something out of this torture, at least he could make fun of them for a while.
His character stopped moving and it turned into a pixel block, ¨Guys, is the game acting up or is it just mine?¨ he could only hear static coming through his headset and some of the guys were posting on the chat that the game kicked them out and they were rebooting their pc, so he just stayed there waiting for the rest to go back in. His character was still a bit glitchy but it was moving now. Then all of the sudden he heard a very loud screech pressed to his left ear, and he was positive that it was not human. ¨Oh my god, sausage! What are you doing to my poor headset? Leave it alone!!¨ saying he was confused was an understatement, all the players in his team were dudes, ¨Ehm, hi?¨ the line went quiet but he wasn’t hearing any more static, just some shuffling on the other side, ¨Who’s this?¨ you were sitting on your chair now, the fluff ball being kicked out of your room for good. ¨Uhm, Rintarou? How about you? Did the guys call you over? I didn’t hear anything about any girl joining our party.¨ Rintarou? What- you were just chatting with your girlfriends when your cat jumped on you and stole your headset, there was no Rintarou in that group, ¨I'm (Y/N). Are you Miyuki’s boyfriend?¨ Miyuki? Was there a Miyuki in his class? It was possible, not like he knows everybody but this was all so confusing, ¨Nope, definitely not that Rintarou. So you are not with the guys either? How did you get into the group? The game didn’t say someone new joined the party.¨ 
You were so confused, you could see your actual party on the screen and on the side chat but you couldn’t hear them talk, just this random guy, ¨Did your game get glitchy too? Maybe that’s how you ended up in my party.¨ he moved his character around, looking for you, but he was completely alone in the area, some of the guys still complaining about the game not letting them in through his phone. ¨Well, I mean yes. It did get glitchy but I can still see my girls playing on my screen, could it be just the audio that got crossed over somehow?¨ it was so weird, none of the girls even noticed your absence, you said you were having some troubles with your headset and so they just continued killing monsters, ¨Yeah, I don’t see you around me either, so I guess it’s just the audio getting messy. Hold on, Imma log out and see if that resets us back to normal.¨ you nodded even if he couldn’t see you. ¨Ugh, what the hell. The logout button is gone. How about you, do you see it?¨ you were checking everywhere in your screen, it was definitely not where it usually is, ¨It’s gone for me too. I bet it’s just still glitchy and will go back to normal in a bit, if it’s fine with you, we could just keep playing like this until the game fixes itself?¨ he was already back to killing slimes, way over level 20 by now and his classmates were still gone, ¨Yeah, fine with me.¨ 
Both of you continued doing your thing in complete silence, so much so that Suna forgot you were still there and started mumbling curses quietly, he was being targeted by larger monsters now and was still on his own, he didn’t know much about this game and he was loosing HP fast, ¨What’s wrong?¨ your soft voice startled him, his ears flushing bright red in embarrassment, ¨Sorry, I forgot you were still there. Just being attacked by inferno wolves, don’t know how to kill them, today is my first day playing this.¨ you chuckled quietly, he was kindda cute, those were very easy to kill lesser monsters, ¨Just jump on them and stomp hard.¨ he did as instructed, killing one instantly, ¨Oh wow that was easy, thanks. Are you like a guild master or something?¨ that made you smile, you were right, he was cute. ¨Nothing of the sort, just been playing this for longer. Let me know if you need more help, I know my fair share of tricks.¨ 
・ 。゚☆: .☾ . :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.・
He was about to just ‘x’ out the game since the logout button was still gone, it was 9:30 and none of the guys were able to log back in, the game refusing to accept them, it was a waste of time, he didn’t even want to play this ridiculous game, the happy tune coming out of it was driving him insane at this point, that was until he heard your quiet giggles, it made him curious. They started soft, he almost thought he’d imagined it, but they grew louder each second and without realizing it, he was smiling, ¨What is it?¨ he wasn’t going to say anything but he just needed to know what was causing the cute fit of giggles on the other side, or he wasn’t going to be able to sleep in peace. ¨You heard that? Oh no, so embarrassing. Sorry, my cat, he is crazy you see. Earlier he was chewing on my headset so I kicked him out, but he got out of the house and got back into my room climbing all the way to the window, he’s like a ninja! And was nuzzling my tummy just now, I’m very ticklish.¨ was it normal for such a story to be this cute? Since when does he find cat ninjas cute? Why does he feel the need to tickle an unknown woman-
¨Was that sausage?¨ he chuckled evilly, wanting to continue the conversation, ¨Oh GOD, you heard that too? This game is like boycotting my life, I’m telling you. But yes, that’s sausage. He’s very heavy and of a brownish tone so he kindda looks like one, that’s why we named him that.¨ it’s not like he was interested in cats, but this was way better than killing blue pixel blobs, ¨It’s kay, I find names like that fun, I really don’t like when people name their pets, I don’t know Steve or something,¨ that caused you to laugh loud and clear, getting stabbed by a monster in the process, which made you just laugh even more, ¨Steve? What? Who would name their cat Steve?¨ you let your character bleed to death and were now hugging one of your pillows while sipping on some juice you had left, getting comfy on your chair. ¨Believe it or not, I’ve seen things, specially since I got in my current school volleyball team, there you see crazy, crazy stuff.¨ so he played volleyball…you’re nowhere near athletic but damn, he sounded like an interesting individual. The night was nothing like what you expected it to be, it was getting better every second.
Time surely flies when you’re actually having fun. He got some fruit jelly out and was chewing on it while speaking, needing some extra sugar to stay awake longer, ¨Are you eating fruit jelly?¨ he sits up right away, making sure his cam was actually off, ¨How do you know? Is this game livestreaming now or-?¨ you wished, ¨Hahaha no, it’s just that they make this sound, you know what I mean? Like when you suck the jelly out? I know I’m weird, I’m so sorry.¨ was he making sucking sounds just now? Why was he blushing? He didn’t know his favorite snack made suggestive sounds, well, that was embarrassing, he didn’t do that on purpose, ¨Ugh, well yeah you got me there, I’m eating fruit jelly. But I don’t think you’re that weird. Just a bit.¨ now you were the one blushing, it was fun talking to him, you've been talking about everything and nothing in particular at the same time for the last couple of hours and it was nearly midnight now. ¨Hey, is your game still glitchy? My chara is like dead now but still let’s me talk to you, I think there’s something really wrong with this game today.¨ his character was sitting down on a daisy field, enjoying his life as much as his owner, no monsters in sight, but the logout button was still not available, ¨Yeah, well I’m not dead, but things look the same, my mates were also complaining because the game kicked them out and didn’t let them back in.¨ he actually lied to his classmates and told them he was going to bed like twenty minutes ago but he just wasn’t capable of telling you how tired he actually was, ¨Hm, yeah I don’t think it’s going to let us sign out tonight, should we leave it open and just go to bed? It’s getting late and even if there’s no school tomorrow we should probably get going.¨ so you were in school too, your voice sounded right about his age but he didn’t know how to ask without sounding like a creepy old man, ¨Yeah I was thinking of going to bed too but sausage wouldn’t let us go.¨ us, huh? you smiled bashfully, playing with the headset cord, ¨Sausage is like that, I think he likes to hear your voice.¨ oh boy, was he smitten, he didn’t know much about you or what you looked like even but he wanted more of this, whatever that was, ¨Well then that means we gotta keep talking so he can hear it some more, maybe then he won’t eat your headset.¨ he could hear your giggles once more, they were creating a hole in his stomach, pretty sure it was eating itself out at your cuteness, he just wanted to continue hearing them, people never laughs at his comments, this was a first you actually thought he was funny, ¨We should. Do you think if we just don’t close the game it would stay like this? I mean like the audio and all…? Maybe we could talk some more tomorrow.¨ were you asking him on a date? That was a date, definitely. ¨Yeah I can do that, anything for sausage’s sake.¨ you were both grinning at the screen like idiots, not wanting to leave, ¨Then, since it’s the weekend how about we come back in the morning? Oh wait no, here in Miyagi the holidays are important, I gotta go to the shrine early, but how about after lunch?¨ he was so tired that even getting up by lunch time seemed like a task, but he would gladly lose sleep for this, ¨Yup, can do. See you tomorrow, sausage girl.¨ both of you left the pc on and went to bed, the smile on both of your faces causing your cheeks to hurt. 
He was cute, you’ve never had so much fun talking with a guy before, it all felt so natural like if you were talking with your best friend, like if you’ve known him since forever. You wondered if asking for his number would be too bold, he was funny and you just wanted to talk to him some more, maybe even meet him one day. Just thinking about it was making you feel giddy, your legs kicking on your bed as you squealed against your pillow, trying your best to quiet down your excitement and not wake your mother up.
Suna was on his bed thinking the very same thing, would it be weird to ask for your number? You were complete strangers, but that’s how people make friends, right? Not weird at all. He rarely had intentions of talking with any girl but talking to you tonight has been the highlight of his year and he wasn’t exaggerating. He didn’t even know he could laugh this much, Suna just couldn’t wait anymore, he was sure he wanted this to continue and with new resolution, he went to sleep, hoping noon would come fast, so he could ask for your number and maybe, hopefully, get to see you even if it was just through his phone, he just needed to put a face to this bubbly feeling inside his chest.
・ 。゚☆: .☾ . :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.・
When he woke up the following morning he noticed his pc was off, this causing him to go into panic mode, what happened? He made sure it would stay on all night-
¨MOOOOM, why is my pc off? Did you touch it?¨ he was pissed, anything but that, not the pc. ¨What? No I didn’t. I think we lost power for a bit earlier, your dad was trying to fix the oven and was messing with the power box.¨ that explains it but it wasn’t less aggravating, would he even be able to go in the game again or would he be kicked out like his mates.
He turned it back on as fast as he could, going in the game, but luck wasn’t on his side, two of his classmates were already in leveling up on his screen. He grabbed his headset and literally screamed on the mic, ¨(Y/N), please tell me you are there.¨ but he could hear very manly snorts on the other side, crushing his heart ¨Who’s (Y/N)? Your girlfriend, Suna?¨ he just couldn’t deal with them right now. He rebooted his pc in hopes of getting the line back up to yours, but when he did, he saw a notification pop up on his screen, ¨We apologize for all the troubles caused last night, as an apology, we’ve sent 100 diamonds and 2 HP refills into your inbox.¨ 
No, this couldn’t be happening. They fixed it overnight. He hadn’t ask you for your number yet, that’s what he was going to do as soon as he heard your beautiful voice.
You were fixing your make up, silly thing to do since he couldn’t even see you, but it was definitely a date. You got your headset on with a bright smile on your face as you saw your screen moving, the game still playing on the background, ¨Morning, Mr. Sausage. Got a nice sleep?¨ your friends were beyond shocked, ¨Mr.Sausage? (Y/N) are you talking to your cat again? I think you need to go out some more.¨ Miyuki? No, no, no, no, why??? Where was he? What happened? You didn’t turn the game off, he should still be there! ¨Yeah…did they fix the game? I can hear you guys just fine now.¨ you were seriously hoping he was just late and would jump in the conversation any second now, ¨Mhm, they gave us some dias, check your inbox. You can buy the sword you wanted with that!¨ Stupid sword, you didn’t want it anymore, not if that meant not being able to talk to him again. ¨Sorry guys, I…I’m login out for the day.¨ without another word you just closed your laptop and collapsed face first onto your bed, life sucked.
・ 。゚☆: .☾ . :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.・
Tuesday couldn’t come faster for Suna, he just ran over to the class next door almost clashing with the wall, ¨ATSUMU! I need your help.¨ the eldest twin glared at him with intensity, couldn’t he see what time was it? Why would someone ask for a favor so early in the morning ? He was barely awake after getting up at four to jog. ¨Tell me later, maybe during lunch break when I can actually listen to you.¨
He threw his bag on the floor and went over to the tired setter, shaking him lightly, ¨Please, only you can help me.¨ what could be this important? He looked over at the middle blocker giving him a dirty angry look, but he was sporting a not so fashionable pair of bags under his eyes, even his skin tone was a bit off, was he not supposed to rest for three days? This made him reconsider his actions, ¨What is it? Stop shaking me, dammit!¨ he sat down on the chair in front of his desk, serious mode on, ¨You have the phone number of the Karasuno setter right?¨ huh? this was definitely not worth the while, he went back to sleep on his desk, ¨Atsumu please! I need you to ask him something, please I’ll beg if you want me to.¨ he’s never seen him this desperate, ¨kay, I think I do, yeah he should be on the group chat. What do you need from him?¨ he was pulling out his phone, ready to rely the message and hopefully go back to sleep, ¨Can you ask him if he knows a girl named (Y/N)¨ a girl? This was unexpectedly interesting. ¨(Y/N) what? Is she from Karasuno?¨ he was punching the message out, waiting on the details, ¨Well I don’t know, all I know is her first name and that she lives in Miyagi, she goes to school there and is possibly around our age.¨ Atsumu couldn’t believe what he was hearing, talk about dumb teammates, ¨You do know Miyagi is a prefecture, right? Not a city. How many schools are there even in Miyagi? Why would Tobio-kun know her? You are being stupid, Suna.¨ he was deleting the message, shaking his head, ¨No, no, please just ask him. I know he probably won’t know her but is my only chance, please. I won’t bother you again if he says he doesn’t know…¨ the setter sighed, sending the ambiguous message out, this was really silly, but he could see how desperate his friend was, and he just wouldn’t let him sleep ever if he didn’t comply. 
To their surprise, Kageyama replied almost immediately, ¨I don’t, but I’ll ask around.¨ Atsumu showed him his screen and the small smile that painted his features left the setter breathless, so he can smile-
¨Thanks, please let me know if he says anything else.¨ he would find you, no matter what.
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Tagged babes: @dazaisfavgf
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𝗔 𝗪𝗮𝘆 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 ~ 𝗛𝗝𝗦
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⤜WORD COUNT:3.9K
⤜PAIRING: Jisung X GN!Reader
⤜GENRE: Angst, friends to lovers, “best friend” being a bitch, hurt/comfort
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2022
⤜MASTERLIST
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The air was crisp and freezing outside so you were kind of glad that Areum and you had agreed to meet up for coffee on campus instead of trekking out into the city to go and have a drink together. The two of you didn't get to hang out that much anymore so when you both found out you had the same day off you wanted to grab the opportunity as quickly as you could though you had to admit you were a little disappointed that her best friend hadn't come along.
"I ordered yours with extra whipped cream," Areum giggled as she sat down across from you in the corner of the shop, this was what she called "her corner" it was a spot in the cafe that had a window right next to the two armchairs that seemed comfier than any bed you'd ever seemed to lay in. 
There was nothing better than Autumn mornings when you didn't have classes to get to and you could just spend some time with one of your closest friends though you did wish she'd brought Jisung along. Then again this gave you the perfect chance to try and ask her about Jisung without him listening in to you.
"Thanks, bubs," You glanced out of the window and watched some of the students that were beginning to walk up and down the street just outside, this spot was perfect if you liked to people-watch. Looking down at your hands you knew that right now would be the perfect chance to speak about your crush but you were worried Areum would hate you for it...After all, she and Jisung had been best friends since they were kids. You didn't want her to think you were only friends with her because she was close to him.
"No Jisung today?" You asked, trying to play it casually as you asked about Jisung, Jisung who had struck your fancy months ago now and you couldn't seem to get him out of your mind, there was just something about him that invaded your brain at all hours of the day. It didn't matter what you were doing you always thought about him, in the mornings when you woke up he was the first thing you thought about and the last thing you thought about before going to sleep.
You felt like a silly little school kid with a crush which was insane, you were in college at this stage of liking guys this way but apparently, it couldn't have been further from the truth since Jisung invaded your mind, body and soul. He was like some kind of alien.
"He's got music theory with Chan and Changbin this morning," Areum rolled her eyes as she pouted out her bottom lip,
"But I did ask him to come and join us, but you know how he is," She shrugged, making space on the table as your drinks were placed down in front of you both. Areum took out her phone to snap a photo the way that she always did and you watched her with a smile on your lips.
Areum was well known online, she had quite a large following on Instagram and she was always taking chances to snap moments that she did during the day.
"He's a workaholic." You told with a small laugh going back to your conversation, you could just imagine him sitting at the desk with his notepad in front of him as he was writing whatever lyrics would come to his mind. Looking down at your hot chocolate you smiled to yourself, you remembered the last time you'd hung out alone when he was working on something, he got completely inspired by a bar of chocolate and ended up with one of the most beautiful songs that you'd ever heard. Then again all of Jisung's songs were beautiful to you, even the most devastating ones were too beautiful for words...The man just had a way with words.
"He gets it from Chan, the man is a bad influence," Areum grumbled as she shoved her phone back into her bag and you bit down on your tongue forcing yourself not to say anything. Areum hadn't liked Chan ever since they broke up in her freshmen year and she took every chance she had to talk down about him when Chan hadn't done anything.
The two of them had simply grown apart and fallen out of love with each other but Areum had a habit of over-dramatising everything and blowing things out of proportion if she had the chance. A part of you felt bad for Chan for having to deal with the backlash of everything.
"Erm...Areum," You whispered, looking up at her as she beamed back at you which instantly gave you second thoughts about all of this. What if you lost your friend because of a silly crush that you had? Should you even tell her at this point? Maybe you could get over it but it had been so long you were afraid if you didn't tell someone you were going to end up bursting.
"What is it? Did you fail a test? I can hack into the system if you want," She offered with a completely serious tone to her voice, you had no doubt that she would do exactly that - or pay someone to - but that wasn't what was wrong. No, it was about her best friend and how you felt as though you were falling for him.
"It's about Jisung..." You said slowly before lifting up the mug of hot chocolate to try and keep your hands busy so that you wouldn't fiddle with anything. The last time you were getting anxious like this you ended up unthreading some of your hoodies and caused a giant hole in one of your favourite pieces.
"What? Did he say something dumb?" She laughed a little loud and shook her head. Jisung was always saying or doing something silly which was one of the things you liked most about him since he never failed to make you laugh...Even in those moments, you felt as though you were never going to be able to smile again.
"No...No I-" You sighed and put the cup down and stared at her, it was now or never and you needed to get it all off your chest.
"I like him...A lot...As in more than a friend and I know it sounds stupid because you're his best friend and I don't want you to think that the only reason I'm friends with you is to be close to him because that's not it Areum...I-I just...I like him and I wondered if you knew...how he felt about me." The air suddenly turned thick and a brush of cold rushed over your body as she stared at you, giving no indication of what she was thinking or feeling. She was completely blank and you hated it.
"Forget I said anything," You quickly added, your body heat raising as you thought about her hating you for all of this. Of course, she was going to hate you, Jisung was her best friend after all and she probably didn't want him to be seen with someone she didn't think was good enough.
"No...Babes, it's just-" She bit down on her lip and put her hand on top of yours giving it a small squeeze and that was all you needed to know that there was something wrong.
"Jisung...He's-" She stared at you and you waited eagerly for her to continue, you knew Jisung didn't have a partner since he was almost always with Areum or the boys or in his dorms.
"He doesn't like you like that...Actually, he doesn't like you." She said plainly and you stared at her, your chest tightening as you heard the words coming out so easily from her.
"What?" You stumbled a little on your words, your throat felt as though it was going to start closing up. You could hardly believe it, Jisung had never mentioned not liking you when the two of you would hang out alone.
"I never wanted to bring it up because I thought it would be something that wouldn't get bought up," She shrugged her shoulders as if this was the easiest thing in the world to say but you couldn't believe any of it. How could you have not noticed he didn't like you? 
"He only kind of hangs out with you because of me...He finds you annoying...He told me that's why he doesn't come to hang out anymore...He doesn't want to be near you... That you can be kind of clingy and weird with him." Each comment was like a stab to the gut but you couldn't let her show how much it was hurting you, the last thing Areum would want was for you to break down in front of her so you bottled it up.
"Oh."
"Yeah..." She trailed off and shook her head sipping on her drink as she pulled out her phone to scroll through her feed but your mind was still trying to wrap its way around her words. Clingy? Annoying?
"Did he really say annoying and clingy?" Your voice cracked giving away that the words had hurt you a lot more than Areum probably would have realised and she glanced up at you,
"I'm sorry..."
"I-I mean..." You scoffed and shook your head at her,
"It's fine," You forced out a laugh while rolling your eyes, trying your best to pull out an award-winning performance.
"Not everyone is going to like me." You lifted the drink up and stared down at the table, sipping on the drink as you thought about the times you'd been with Jisung alone. If he found you annoying why had he agreed? Was it just to spare your feelings?
A few minutes passed in silence and you knew you weren't going to be able to sit here much longer without breaking down you cleared your throat and put the mug down.
"I just remembered I have to study," You said as you did your best not to choke on your words or to let her see that tears were welling up,
"Want me to walk with you?" She offered but didn't move from the seat, you stood up and shook your head.
"No...No I'm fine, I said I'd meet with Jeongin anyway, we have a test next week." You lied through your teeth but either Areum couldn't tell or she didn't care as she just nodded and went back onto her phone while you walked out of the cafe. You ignored the way the air hit your cheeks and made you freeze as the air hit the tears that rolled down your cheeks and you sniffled keeping your head down as you walked.
Your dorm was past the music studio and you made sure to pull up your hood and try and blend into the other students but you stole a glance through the glass window to see Jisung laughing at something one of the boys said and it broke you even more.
You could almost bet that that was the way he would look when he laughed about you being annoying to him and you felt yourself sinking lower into the floor.  
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A week passed by and Jisung was beginning to wonder where you'd gone, every text he was sending you was being left unread and you weren't answering your door whenever he came by. When he'd performed at a small gig you'd known about you hadn't shown up which really wasn't like you since you ALWAYS came to every gig he had whether it was small or big he could always count on you being in the back of the crowd cheering him.
Which was why he was now standing outside of your last class of the week and waiting for you to come out, he didn't care if you got mad at him for being here he was going to find out what was going on with you.
"Yn!" He called out when he saw you heading in the opposite direction of the wall with your hood up,
"Yn! I know you can hear me!" He yelled, rushing down the hall and catching up to you when he took your wrist gently in his grasp and pulled you to the side of the hall so you wouldn't cause traffic.
"I have to go, I have a test to study for." You mumbled keeping your head down as you tried to walk away from him again but he trapped you by placing his hand on the wall in front of you blocking you from his body and you bit down on your tongue. This was everyone's dream with their crush but right now it was making you feel like a fool, after all, he didn't like you back.
"Your tests ended last week, what's going on with you?" Your heart leapt at the thought of him knowing when your tests were but you were quick to push that feeling down as you remembered the words.
Clingy
Annoying
"I'm busy," You grumbled at him but Jisung wasn't going to let you walk away that easy. Your tests had ended and he knew you well enough to know that all of your projects were probably done already so he knew there was nothing academically holding you back. His chest clenched as he thought about you suddenly getting a boyfriend...But Areum would have told him if you found someone since she knew of Jisung's crush on you.
"Busy with what? I had a gig last week and you never showed." He pouted a little and you resisted the urge to drop everything to try and make him smile, it wasn't your job to do that.
"So?" You shrugged your shoulders, it wasn't as though he needed you at every gig he ever had and if he found you so annoying why was he standing right in front of you? 
"You're my good luck charm, I sucked without you there." He explained while staring down at you, it was clear there was something really bothering you since you were refusing to meet his eyes. However, there was a small smile pulling onto your lips as he told you he sucked,
"You didn't suck, you're too good to suck," You mumbled, folding your arms over your chest as you did your best to look anywhere but at him right now.
"Tell me what's going on." He begged softly, he hated the idea of something bothering you so much that you were keeping everything bottled up deep inside of you.
"I figured you'd be happy about me not being around, after all, I am clingy and annoying," You said while staring at him, his eyebrows knitted together and he shook his head at you clearly having no idea what you were talking about. You frowned at his confusion,
"What are you talking about?" He whined on his words a little only further making you confused,
"You told Areum you find me annoying...T-That you only hang out with me because she's there," He shook his head at you, it couldn't have been further from the truth. He'd told Areum months ago that he had a giant crush on you and was constantly trying to get you to spend time with him alone so that he would get to know you more.
"And all those times we're alone?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows at you and you bit down on your lip. That was a valid point but why would Areum lie to you?
"You...You have a valid point," You whispered while making Jisung chuckle at you and shake his head at how cute you were, he slowly moved his hand from the wall and took your hand into his grasp.
"Let's go and grab a drink...And talk...Please?" He kept his eyes on you, the two of you were going to have a lot to talk about with Areum messing things up so you nodded and began to walk with him.
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"So...You like me?" He questioned as you finished explaining everything that Areum had said to you, a week ago in the same spot that you were sitting in right now. You'd told him everything from start to finish, deciding it would be best not to leave any details out...No matter how embarrassing they were.
"Yes. And I understand if you don't feel the same-"
"I do. I like you a lot actually and Areum knows that" He moved his chair closer and reached out for your hand, he gently began to rub his thumb over your skin and smiled at you. That was the one thing that was hurting him the most, the fact that someone he had considered his best friend had lied to you about his feelings.
"So you don't find me annoying...C-Cause I can change." You offered but he instantly began to shake his head at you. There wasn't a single thing that Jisung wanted you to change about yourself since he had fallen for you just the way that you were.
"I don't find you annoying at all...I don't expect you to change. I don't want you to." You smiled at his words before he lifted your hand to his lips and kissed it softly causing your entire body to heat up as you laughed softly at him. 
"So you like me...and I like you," He said while keeping his eyes on you,
"Can I take you out?" He questioned, giving your hand a squeeze before you glanced around.
"We are out," You teased before he glared at you playfully, this wasn't exactly what he had in mind for a first date. Jisung was going to make sure it was a date you weren't ever going to forget,
"On a real date...One I can impress you on," He told you with a smirk playing on his lips but you shook your head at him, he didn't need some big date to impress you when he'd always impressed you.
"Jisung you always impress me, this is a real date." You laughed softly but Jisung wasn't going to back down from this, when he committed to something he committed to it 100%.
"I'm going to make the date special, extra special." He promised you before beaming at you making your whole body feel as though it was going to burst into thousands of butterflies at any given moment.
"There's something we should do though." He added while biting down on his lip, it wasn't something that was going to be easy or pretty but it needed to be done and both of you knew that.
"Speak to Areum?" You quizzed, slowly letting go of his hand as you thought about facing her about everything.
"Yeah, I mean she must have had a reason...None of them is justified but we need to confront her." He said with a small voice, going to confront his best friend wasn't something he wanted to do but he had to. 
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"Hey! I thought you couldn't hang out this weekend," Areum giggled as she threw herself around Jisung not noticing you in the chair next to him until she opened her eyes and her mouth formed a small "o" shape. 
"Hey," You said softly as she slowly took a seat opposite you both and Jisung slowly began to take your hand into his. Neither of you had a plan for what you were going to talk about, you just knew that you needed to say something to her.
"Why did you tell Yn I find them annoying and clingy?" He asked simply, it was something he couldn't wrap his head around. After all these years he figured Areum would be happy that he was finding someone he finally liked and wanted to be around but she appeared to be pissed off about everything. 
"I didn't, they're lying. Tell him you're lying Yn," She ordered while staring at you, her eyes narrowed a little as if she was trying to command you to do something with a simple look but it wasn't going to happen.
"Areum," Jisung said sternly as he stared back at her, his hand never leaving yours as you both leaned on one another for strength during this conversation.
"Because why should they get to be the one you want to be with! It should be me, I've been the one that's been here for you since day one!" She yelled drawing attention to you all as you felt yourself slumping down in the chair a little at the eyes that were on you. You'd wanted to do this at her dorm in private but Jisung had said it would be better to do it in public so she wouldn't cause a scene...He couldn't have been more wrong. Areum was exactly the type to cause a scene and to try and make everything about her,
"So you told them I found them annoying? You knew how badly I liked Yn," Although Jisung was pissed off he never once raised his voice at her, he wasn't going to yell at her for something like this. Instead, he wanted to be calm with her and for her to see exactly what she was doing was wrong.
"Because you should like me, not them." She spat the words out so harshly it felt as though she was stabbing you and twisting the knife.
"You know I've only ever seen you as a friend," He strained out the words and you smiled weakly at the thought of her being friend-zoned so openly in public it couldn't have been easy on her.
"I figured once you got over Yn you'd see things differently," She mumbled, folding her arms across her chest while staring at him but you'd had enough.
"So you sped up the process?" You questioned, finally finding your own voice as you decided to get involved since it wasn't just Jisung she had hurt with her words but you also.
"You guys are together, no harm no foul." She mumbles while standing up and heading for the door, it was obvious that she wasn't going to take responsibility for her actions and you scoffed a little while Jisung shook his head.
"We don't want to be around you if you'll behave like that," He told her as she paused at the door and threw a glance back in your direction,
"You can't be serious! You're choosing them over me? Over our friendship?" She asked a little louder than she needed to, once again gaining the attention of the people inside the coffee shop,
"You ended our friendship the moment you lied to us," Jisung snapped back and she scoffed at him storming off and slamming the door behind her as she went. The action was soon followed by a couple of claps from an elderly couple on the table closest to you, 
"Never let a friend treat you like that," The old man said before smiling and nodding his head at the two of you, you looked at Jisung and bit your lio. You couldn't help but feel a little bad for Areum but she'd hurt you both with what she'd done and she needed to learn that her actions had consequences.
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Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @taestannie @illicee @army24--7 @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @kimahnjung98 @halesandy​ @lost-leopard-beanie​ @ethereallino​ @afternoonteabiscuit​ @itmehc​ @rubberduckieyourtheone​ @heeseunger24​ @laylasbunbunny​ @lovelychann​ @critssq​ @pearlygraysky​ @lenfilms​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @meowmeowisdaname​
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gayerthanevertbh · 9 months
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Hi, u can call me l. I'm a Jap Filo who is currently living in Japan. A Carol stan and im new here.
I dont know how thise eorks but i usually read in ao3 and i saw people under comments that they interact eith the suthors more in tumblr so i msde one. And I happedn to came across your fic called: lights, camera, action only because i saw your icon which is natsha in bun and if I may ask are you planning to continue it?
I actually did experience the same thing as yours and I am really sorry you had to go through that. But mine was a lot different because it happened mostly online, I don't know how to put it but yeah. I was sent photos, videos, we made calls, she made me do things and have it sent to her online, I experienced it with my teacher in 7th grade; my Mom found out when we were about to migrate in Japan. We went to court once before I flew here and I actually forgot everything about it. But when I was in 10th grade evrything crashed back to me, I strted getting scared going to school also bullies here in Japan are worst. so I decided to work, I stopped studying.
Last year christmsd we flew back to the ph and the first news I got when I stepped in our van was I have to be attend a hearing because their side knew we were going back in home. I nver thought that the case was still on going after how many years. She even messaged me to show up in hearing, that she's sorry, she's building a family now and is 2 months pregnant and that at some point we have to put an end to it she said
But you know what? Nothing happened, I lost. My Mom couldn't pay the lawyer anymore and I had to go back here in Japan before the hearing could actually happen. I was so devastated, I only wanted her license to be revoked so she couldn't teach anymore. And ivee heard a lot of casesone from my friend back there in ph that if the teacher was caught or like reported harassing a student their license wouldn't be taken from them instead the school would just kick them out (it can be taken if the school are doing their job but gues what? Its Philippines. The system is fucked up, the justice is nowhere to be found if you lay under the lowest hierarchy). And funny thing my friend said, after they were kicked out they would always settle in the provinces there in PH, which I found very accurate because I found out that she moved in a suburban province in ph, i yhink its pampanga.
I could still remember how I lied being sick one sunday afternoon, my family are going to church that time so they left me to rest but I sneaked out and went to her place.
And also, the pandemic made much more worst. I started questioning everything, everything I receive and everything I feel. I remember saying, 'I love you' to her and the fact that when I went to the first hearing to find that I couldn't hate her. My cousins were explaining to me that it was wrong, she did something bad to me, but to me it was right it felt right. I never understood how court hearing lawyers works before but when I saw her I knew she has been crying, I could still remember her eyes fuck her look tht time it was the worst state of hers that I had ever seen and I knew from then that I want it to stop so I pleaded for my Mom not to go through the case and flying to Japan made me think that everything was finally over she wouldn't suffer anymore and so do I.
I even tried messaging one last time using the new account my Mom made me which she also had accessed that time, I risked it all but I never found her account it was already deleted i think
I never went to therapy, my Mom never sent me to one and I actually don't know if it'll help. But my friends in ph asked me to go to one and i also been working so i am considering it for a while and ive been also foing sh lately iwant yo go back yo school but my family back in ph eont let me.
I don't know why am I sharing this to you im actually crying while writing this. Because you know what? Until now, I still couldn't figure it out. Half of me still thinks that that was love and it's msking me sick that i was glad we werent able to bring everything back again in the court i fuvking hate it.
I don't know maybe i just wanted to find out your story, how your story went how you overcame everything. The freedom i would never feel.
I font know how this works i wish i could really talk to you.
I'm reall sorry
hi, i read through your message over and over again and im truly sorry. you have no idea how devastated i am for you, and i wish i could even hug you. please feel free to message me, talk to me if you want. im all ears for you. 🤍
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woman-respecter · 1 month
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I've had 2 besties ghost me. The first, we were sixteen and in our junior year of high school and I started dating a girl and made friends that weren't her, and she just... stopped speaking to me. She would ignore me in the halls, she moved her things out of my locker, and she dropped the class we had together. The next time I heard of her was from her parents, for her funeral, because she'd died of cancer. That was when I found out she'd started internet dating an older man in Canada and moved to be with him immediately after we graduated high school.
The second was one of the girls I became friends with after her. We were so close people assumed we were dating (I was one of half a dozen openly queer people in our school, she loudly insisted she was straight to anyone who would listen). We spent hours on the phone, cuddled, shared a bed during sleepovers, she'd sit in my lap and play with my hair, and I really loved her in a totally-not-homoerotic way.
Our first summer back from college, she came out as "demisexual" and told me she'd met a girl and started dating her. A few months later, she told me we "needed to talk" about my "lack of support" for her sexuality and how hard it was being demi. At the time I'd recently come out to my own parents and my mother said she'd kill me if I ever brought a girlfriend home, because she "didn't raise a dyke." She never spoke to me again after that conversation. It's been 20 years and I still get a little sad about it sometimes.
those are both so devastating, i can’t imagine how hard it is to have a friend actually die (though a sick part of me wishes exbestfriend had died instead of left me so i could mourn her properly and fully get over her. which is fucked i realize.)
as for the other one she sounds insufferable. she did the thing mine did where she borderline yuribaited you while insisting that she’s straight. and then had the gall to act like YOU weren’t supportive enough about her sexuality or whatever after what u had been through. some extremely online behavior from her imo
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n1ccult · 1 year
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Welcome to My BPD blog
Hi, my name is Nicole. I’m nineteen and I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder for nine months, but I’ve exhibited symptoms of BPD since I was eleven or twelve. I’m starting this blog to help myself heal from BPD.
I’ve always had a strained relationship with my parents. My father wasn’t the father people saw on TV shows. My mom wasn’t perfect either, drowning her sorrows in a bottle of tequila or two 20-ounce cans of Coors Light. They always forgot I was there. Being an only child I was so alone and I started exhibiting attention-seeking behavior such as pathological lying and self-harm. The self-harm was originally for attention from those around me, but then it turned into a way to release my pain, then it turned into a way for me to feel something. I would abuse substances at very young ages and was sexually active very young. At fifteen I had even attempted to take my own life. Just to preface, I’m not judging anyone who is recovering and struggling. These are just self-destructive behaviors I took part in which made it so much worse for me.
As I got older fifteen and sixteen I would have sex with men who were often older than me to feel loved. They were pedophiles who just wanted to get laid. Even though these men just saw me as a piece of ass, I would cling to them and when they would block me I would feel so devastated I would have suicidal thoughts. Was I not good enough for these men? No, I was too good for them. I was just in such a bad place not receiving love from my family, I would try to fill the void with sex, drugs, and a new friend group every other month. I only had one friend who stuck by my side in high school until one day she blocked me on everything, because “I was too much.” I saw her as Satan after she did that. I felt like she had ruined my life. Let’s just call her Kathy. However, after that happened I was alone. Had no friendships and I realized, maybe I was the problem. On top of that the guy I was seeing called me a whore and a mistake and once again I heard the phrase “you’re too much.” It clicked and I knew I couldn’t live like that anymore. Being late in 2020 in the middle of my senior year of high school which was all online, with no job, I knew I had to pull up my big girl pants and start recovery. That recovery started with a Bipolar II diagnosis, which many people who are Borderline get. However, that was not the truth. I lived with that diagnosis for a year and a half, but it never resonated with me.
I moved from California to Montana for college which was a huge part of my recovery. Within a week I had already had my “favorite person” picked out. His name was Sam and I spent every single day of orientation week with him. End of the week we ended up hooking up, and afterward, I flipped. I would get paranoid he was going to ghost me. I would Snapchat at him saying he didn’t care about me and one day I threw his sweatshirt out the window at him from the fourth floor of my dorm. I blocked him and cried every single night. There it was, not the Bipolar disorder, but the BPD. That’s when I seriously knew I wasn’t Bipolar, but something was wrong. However, I still continued that toxic behavior. For the rest of the first semester of college, it was just a pattern of Sams. Then I went home for Christmas and there were no more Sams. I couldn’t bring myself to text any of the old hookups I had in California because I was embarrassed. I was able to go back to the job I had before I left for college and I spent my nights journaling and watching youtube videos about BPD. I reflected on my past behaviors from the past semester and I just felt embarrassed. I didn’t want to be like that anymore.
In February 2022, I deleted my own social media so things to be quiet. I figure my shit out. Being in the second semester of my first year of college I was still adjusting to the move and trying to figure out what was wrong. I had therapy once a week. I talked about my past traumas as a child, I dissected all my behaviors and started plans to help me cope with my destructive behaviors.
A year later, I’m still on my BPD healing journey. There are so many more details I left out of this, which I want to cover more as I continue this blog. I’m doing this as a way to help me heal and hopefully, it can inspire others while I go on this journey. If I even help one person from this post or blog I will feel like I have done something to help. 
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Dear Kai,
I don’t know why I’m writing this now - it’s hardly the first time I’ve wanted to. For me, this is part of healing and self-affirmation. Since August 2018, I’ve contracted COVID twice. The first time (winter 2019/2020) left me with substantial cognitive long-haul symptoms which I’ve only begun to heal from in the last 9 months or so. Recently, I’m rediscovering memories and accessing some of my “advanced” conversational vocabulary, among other things that I haven’t been able to do for a couple years. I’ve also been working through the mental health fallout resulting from the brain damage and other life circumstances. Writing this is a part of my recovery. (In case you do end up reading this, I will try to keep it as short as possible.)
Your exit from my life transformed it. I want to be clear - it’s not that you didn’t want me in your life that really got to me - it’s the specifics of how you chose to leave. I just dropped you off at home one night and never heard from you again.
At first, I just assumed family life was happening, and you’d get back to me. Then, for at least a couple weeks, I was legitimately scared that you were seriously ill or injured; I assumed you hadn’t died simply because no one had sent me an obit or a funeral/memorial time. I respected you and your ability to communicate your needs. Understand, from my perspective, I had no reason to think you were angry or unhappy with me, we’d spent years quasi-living together, and we had plans to eventually have a household together.
I respected you as a partner, and, as such, I assumed you’d at least inform me that you were no longer interested in our partnership. When I opened Spotify on my computer one day and saw you were listening to some of your favorite music, I was relieved (that you were safe/healthy enough to be listening to your  music) and devastated (that you’d apparently ghosted me). I remember our discussions about how disorienting and hurtful ghosting could be; I was stunned that someone I’d respected so deeply, who knew how much I hated to be ghosted, would choose that particular method to end our partnership. It seemed to me like you chose the method of maximum damage.
Like others who’ve been ghosted, I spent hours/weeks/months dissecting each recent interaction that could have possibly given me a clue as to what was about to happen. I know I wasn’t perfect; I made mistakes that I was not mature enough to apologize for at the time.
(If you’ve ever wondered, I am so sorry for partially un-koshering your kitchen, for the time I accidentally partially outed you, and for the multiple social faux pas I managed to commit at Philly THC. I’m sorry for scratching/denting that rental car in California, and for being late to the Rose Bowl. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay the full time house-sitting in Philly with you. I could go on.)
For all my analysis, I couldn’t find an answer that warranted ghosting. I thought there was a good chance that there had been some sort of parental ultimatum. But then I thought, “Kai is so smart, and we are connected online through so many platforms. Their parents are smart but they would have to completely strip Kai of any internet-connected device to keep them from communicating with me if they wanted to - even if it was just to send a final goodbye message.” And, because of Spotify, I knew that was not the case.
You could have emailed me (like we did when you were in Italy), messaged me on Steam, Tumblr, Snapchat, Telegram, and probably ten other ways I’m forgetting about right now. Even without electronics, I trusted you could scribble something on a scrap of paper, put it in an envelope, and drop it off at a post office discreetly. So it seemed to me that no matter what the exact circumstances, you chose to end it maliciously.
More than once, I considered messaging Joey to ask what happened, but I was so ashamed. And it felt so middle school.
I’d built so much of my self-confidence (and discovered my personality) alongside you, and because I truly believed that you respected me enough to send a message - even one sentence - part of my brain just couldn’t handle the malice I perceived. I will always wonder why you chose that, but now I’ve accepted that I’ll never have an answer. 
I abandoned Tumblr, Snapchat, computer games, and anything else that reminded me of you. I avoided picking up my phone for any reason. I’m still trying to relearn how to take pictures at appropriate times - so often I was taking pictures to share with you. I completely withdrew from anything queer or gender-fucked - the last Pride-related event I attended was with you. The last musical I attended was with you; the last movie I attended was with you (unless you count Frozen 2 in China - obviously not my choice). For the first six months or so, any reminder of you or what we had together (like 75% of my life) was a gut punch.
I haven’t made friends partially because when I tried, it was so much work and no one could even begin to compare to the way we understood each other. Or, at least, the way I thought we understood each other. I will never know how much/little of that understanding actually existed. More than anything, I knew I never wanted a partnership to end like that again, so I was desperate to avoid social mistakes. All of that just made friends draining and depressing. Friends are something that I hope to someday reincorporate into my life.
You still appear in my dreams sometimes; not every night, just occasionally.
In conclusion, this writing has two main goals (I don’t know if these matter to you now, but they would have mattered to the Kai I knew): (1) if you’re close to someone and you want to end contact without causing more damage than necessary, just give them a message, even if it’s short, saying you’re out/done/whatever; and (2) I need to honor myself and my experiences - the good and the bad and the ugly - I deserve to record my experience so it lives somewhere more than my mind. This is actually my first written record of what happened, and I’m extremely proud of myself for writing it.
@eternal-blank-flank @showmesomeoneinnocent @handmeacoatifyoureinthere
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prisrona · 1 month
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'Hoping for a brighter horizon"
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Growing up in a family that isn't financially stable makes you think about working hard and being ambitious. When I was a kid, I thought that everything was fine. I grew up with a simple life and hard-working parents. Growing up, I could see that both of my parents worked every day, but the thing which we are struggling is our money. I grew up with hard-working parents; my mother is the one who would take care of me and my sister, while my father is the one who is working for the family but can't really provide because of his alcoholic issues. I don't even mind at all because I thought that my life was normal; I was happy, young, and didn't know anything about the world.
I could see my mother and father fighting over it. When I was young, I struggled with not having connections with people; I had really bad anxiety; I had no friends; and I hated school. If my teacher called my name, I would freeze, and that's how bad my anxiety is. I would envy my classmates for having things that they could afford, while I just look at them and wish that it were me. It was exhausting to struggle with things that you couldn't control and to know that you were struggling with poverty and facing problems at a young age. You were told to study hard and be successful.
But life was not I expected because my mother found out that her sister which is my Aunt had a cancer, I could see her face trying not to cry and she would pray every day to God that everything would be fine, I would see her borrowing money from other people, like our friends, neighbors and even her colleagues, she and her other sister would take care of my sick aunt, she would pay for the medical payments even if we are also struggling financially, she would pray every day and beg to God that her sister would be okay, she would do anything just for her to feel okay, but not until a really bad news came, my mother got a phone call from her other sister saying that her sick sister had died from cancer, which is very devastating. My mother did anything; she worked really hard, but still, the money was not enough to pay for anything. After the death of my aunt, we mourned, but we struggled financially; we had a lot of debt.
Fast forward: When I was 13, my father quit his job and started our own business, which is a tailoring shop. We made a lot of money that year and even this year, and my parents even bought me a laptop for my online class so that I wouldn't be struggling with using my cellphone.
In the month of December 2023, something bad happened in our lives again. Even though we are comfortable with our lives now that we have everything, everything got lost after our house was caught on fire. I was at school when it happened, when I heard the news I ran immediately and called my sister even though I was shaking, but she didn’t respond so I cried the whole time because I was nervous that something bad might happened to my family, what if they get stuck in our house what if my mother was trapped, I had a lot of bad thoughts in my head so cried, but then my sister replied and said that they were safe, I felt a relief, after the incident we were struggling to find a house to sleep with but there are a lot of friends that offered me to sleep in their home so I could go to school tomorrow but I still choose to sleep next to my parents on a small guard house, even if we were struggling but it was okay for me because we are safe and nothing bad happened to all of us, after the incident I went back to school like nothing happened but I was tired and miserable the whole time, I was still trying to not give up and tried to fight every day.
Because Life is a cycle that encompasses a series of interconnected events and experiences. These events and experiences shape our perspectives, attitudes, and behaviors, ultimately influencing the choices we make. Understanding and managing our emotions is crucial for personal growth and well-being, as it allows us to navigate through life's challenges and build strong relationships with friends and family.
Life is a beautiful circle, a never-ending wheel that revolves around happy, sad, growing, and contemplative times. Our lives are in perpetual flux, much like the seasons, from spring's flowers to winter's silence. Accept the beauty of this cyclical path, as it teaches us about resiliency and the certainty of change. As you work through this cycle, remember how crucial balance is. Honor both the brightness and the shadows, just as day gives way to night and vice versa. Every stage enhances the quality of your life and molds you into a more whole and wiser person.
I was very grateful that we faced a lot of difficult things in life, but we still managed to be stronger because we all know that life is hard. Even if we were poor, having a loving family is a cornerstone of support, comfort, and growth in my life. I could see a lot of sacrifices that my mother made for my aunt; I could see the sadness in her eyes and the feeling of grief when she passed away; I could see family members who offered love, acceptance, appreciation, and encouragement to one another, reinforcing a sense of belonging and security. Additionally, a loving family serves as a source of guidance and support, helping us navigate life's challenges.
Our family is not just a group of individuals; it's a powerhouse of strength, unity, and love. Your hard work is not only a testament to your individual character but also a shining example of the power of collective effort. Together, we have achieved more than we could have ever imagined, and I am excited for the future knowing that we face it as a united, resilient family.
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newspaper12 · 5 months
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A Voice for the Vax-Injured
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Angela Wulbrecht, a nurse for the Vaccine Safety Research Foundation, discusses the consequences of COVID vaccinesIn a recent episode of "American Thought Leaders," host Jan Jekielek and Angela Wulbrecht discuss the devastating and sometimes deadly consequences of the COVID vaccines on certain recipients. A nurse for over two decades, Ms. Wulbrecht suffered a life-threatening response to the vaccine. Today, she works for the Vaccine Safety Research Foundation, where she advocates for injured patients. She also appears in the new documentary, “The Unseen Crisis.”Jan Jekielek: You're one of the stars of “The Unseen Crisis,” which is now screening at a New York City film festival. Let’s talk first about how you became a nurse.Angela Wulbrecht: My mom is from the Seychelles Islands off the east coast of Africa in the Indian Ocean. My father was American, and I was born in the United States. When I was 8 years old, my father and I were in a car accident. I survived with a fractured vertebra, but my dad was killed instantly, and I was rushed to a children's hospital. My mom wasn't in the States at the time. I was terrified and alone, and devastated by my dad’s death, but these nurses decorated my room with balloons and teddy bears, and loved me, and got me through the most tragic time of my life. So even then, I decided I wanted to become a nurse, to give back what they had given me—this incredible gift of love and compassion.
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My mom had no family in the United States. She decided to go home and be closer to her family, and we returned to the Seychelles. After high school, I went to nursing school in the United States. Once I graduated, I started working as a labor and delivery nurse. I loved helping women at one of the most beautiful times of their lives. Within a year, I pretty much was a charge nurse for the Department of Women, Infants, and Children.Mr. Jekielek: Let's fast-forward to when you worked in a hospital in Sonoma, California.Ms. Wulbrecht: When the pandemic hit, everything shut down. My daughter had to be homeschooled. I took it all really seriously. When the government told us this was bad, I believed them. When they said the vaccines were safe and effective, I believed them and rushed to get my vaccine. Within 12 minutes of getting it, I was on the ground.At first, I thought I was having an anaphylactic reaction. The paramedics took my vitals, which were extremely unstable. My blood pressure was so high I could have stroked out. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital.That was the first of five 911 calls and five hospitalizations. Those first weeks I was at the doctor's office every day if I wasn't in the hospital. I was fortunate because I was valued in the medical community where I worked. They were eager to take care of me. This was also early on when only medical staff could get the vaccine, so they did all sorts of tests to figure out what was going on. Three or four different cardiologists plus other doctors worked on me.I was still pro-vaccine. I looked at it as similar to giving penicillin to me, because I'm allergic to penicillin. So I was encouraging people to get it to protect each other.Mr. Jekielek: Then you appeared in the media.Ms. Wulbrecht: Kaiser News interviewed me to share my story. By that point, I’d started to learn of others getting injured and how they weren't being properly cared for. My goal in this interview was to highlight that. After the article hit other major newspapers, I started to realize thousands and thousands of other people were having vaccine reactions. People who were injured would ask online, “Are there any vaccine injuries out there?” My name would pop up, my number wasn’t blocked, and they could find me.Then I was invited, along with others, to speak to the CDC and the FDA . I was happy we could present our evidence to them.They listened, gave us their email, and told us we would have a follow-up meeting. We never heard back from them. I emailed multiple times but never heard from them.I thought, “If the CDC and the FDA won’t listen, the NIH will, because they’re doctors. We're in this together.”I sent Dr. Nath, the head of neurology at the NIH, my hospital credentials and asked for his help. He was wonderful. I emailed him cases of vaccine injuries, and he would reply right away.In one email, I asked him to look at data compiled by Steve Kirsch. His response was this generic email saying they didn’t treat vaccine injuries and that if I had further questions to look at the CDC website. That was the gist of it.At that point, I realized my perception of these people putting health and safety first hadn’t been true. Greed, money, and power came first.So I joined the VSRF team, founded by Steve Kirsch. It lit a fire in me. We were a team. None of us had a background in event planning and media, but we were passionate about caring for people.Mr. Jekielek: A silver lining of the whole recent madness is meeting some really principled people, which I'm grateful for.Ms. Wulbrecht: “The Unseen Crisis” filmed by Cindy of NTD News and The Epoch Times reveals who the vaccine injured are, and I hope doctors will watch it. The whole crew was wonderful. I felt like I was with family.If I'm never allowed to work in another hospital again for speaking out, for helping the helpless, that's okay. I went into this to do my duty and to protect patients first. I want help and compensation for all the vaccine injured. That's my goal.This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity. #Voice #VaxInjured A Voice for the Vax-Injured https://img.theepochtimes.com/assets/uploads/2023/10/16/id5510944-Angela-Wulbrecht-700x420.jpg Read the full article
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lecirueblr · 9 months
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Feel free to make fun of me, or think its too much information, but there is something I wish to speak of online.
Recently, I was talking with a group of friends about stuff we liked when we were little and how sad it is when shows you like as a kid end. Well, I was majorly obsessed with My Little Pony over the course of its entire run. I stopped watching after the TV glitched out and the guide would no longer tell me when the next new episode was on, that was sometime in season 7 or 8.
When I heard that the series had permanently ended after season 9, I was devastated. It felt like a part of me ended with the show. I liked it despite all the bullying I got for liking it.
As a girl in elementary school when the first seasons came out, I was the exact target audience for the show and it was considered normal for little girls to like rainbow colored ponies and anything pink. Back then, I was bullied almost everyday for my enjoyment of the show. I felt very lonely, but it helped that my best friend and I shared mostly the exact same interests.
The teasing is something I can look back on and laugh at, because the parody of the theme the boys made up is kinda funny. But it just shows that no matter what age, a girl isn't allowed to have any sort of interest, even if they are considered girly. (This is why Wilbur Soot is one of my favorite content creators, for the one time he said that girls being made fun of for having interests is his pet peeve.)
The worst part about that conversation I had just last week was that a girl, maybe two years younger than me said that she would've made fun of me for liking My Little Pony if she knew me when I was in 2nd grade (age 7 in school).
This is a major problem that I feel needs to be addressed and brought to people's attention more. A person, especially when they are little should be allowed to have interests without judgement, whether boy or girl, or whether the interest is more masculine or feminine. Children need to be taught to not make fun of another's interests.
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roybunnies2023 · 11 months
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“You are beautiful in your own way”
By: Johnnes Rish M. Fuscablo (11 - ROY A)
“You’re so skinny!”, “Do you still even eat?”, “You have so many pimples on your face!”. These phrases are the ones that I always heard and received back when I was in my high school days. Many people don’t know that body and face shaming is a form of bullying. It is the act of criticizing or making derogatory comments about someone's physical appearance, particularly their physique or facial characteristics. This sort of behavior may be unpleasant and devastating, and it can harm a person's self-esteem and mental well-being. Traditional Filipinos may regard body and face shaming as a source of affection or fun, but it has evolved into callous and solely judgemental behavior.
As someone who has been through these circumstances that involve body and face shaming, it’s really hard to cope up and deal with it. I get too lazy to get out of my room, I only get out to eat then go back inside and I don’t want to go out of the house anymore. I think It was around Grade 9; when COVID-19 started, I got skinnier and my acne started getting worse through time. It was because of online classes and sleepless nights due to the numerous assignments assigned to our class. I tried countless expensive beauty and cleansing products for my acne problem, vitamins for gaining weight! but, to no avail, it failed. That time, I felt I was ugly and unattractive anymore, but thanks to my boyfriend who helped me boost my self-confidence and my self-esteem. When I was about to graduate junior high school, I still had my acne problems and I was still skinny. I didn’t like my graduation picture because my makeup didn’t cover up my acne and it was really horrible. I was too shy to take off my face mask as I didn’t want my classmates to see my acne and pimples. For me, face masks were a lifesaver at that time!
All I want to say is that everyone has a distinct bodily form, size, and facial traits, and it is not fair to disparage or humiliate someone based on these attributes. Body and face shaming may take place in a variety of settings, including in person, online, and through media portrayal, and it frequently enforces unattainable beauty standards and fosters negativity. It's critical to cultivate a culture of body positivity, acceptance, and inclusion. Rather than emphasizing physical looks, it is more helpful to highlight the value of uniqueness, self-love, and acceptance of variety. Respecting and treating others with compassion, regardless of their physical appearance, is an essential aspect of building a healthy and inclusive community. “You are beautiful in your own way”. Don't heed what others say about you; they don't know what obstacles and challenges you're dealing with on your own journey.
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globalvoices · 1 year
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atsukawolfcat · 2 years
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LaTale Rant
Note: This post is just me venting about this game, nothing bad really its just me mourning the loss of my old account, in particular a character I had named Lucy0127. Just wanted to get it off my chest.
I was watching a speedpaint of Klee from Youtube that I will probably link here later, but after 13 min in of the video I had realized how much Klee's outfit reminded me of something and its been bothering me for 10 whole minutes during work until I finally clicked what it was. The outfit color isnt the same at all, but the shape and style reminded me of one of my old character from LaTale, a Papaya company game. This was when they had LaTale with a launcher, with like 5 other games you could download and play (I think around 2005?)
Okay guys, I am sure many of you don't/didn't care about this little MMO game or were too young to remember this little gem, but little Wolfcat here adored this game. It would get me in so much trouble with my parents but I didn't care. It was the first thing my grubby little paws would reach for when I got home after school and my parents had to physically pry me off the computer or shut off the internet/computer to make me stop. I was obssessed.
So obssessed in fact, that back when I played the game the level cap (if I remember correctly) was level 199. I don't remember the exact level I was (I think its around 130? maybe 120?) but I know for a fact it was level 100+, and that was strict grinding. I had started with the bow class and leveled all the way to my favorite Gunslinger. I carried my guildmates and randoms when I could, because it was all for fun. I believe I had my first online boyfriend through here too lol.
I had stopped playing the game due to IRL responsibilities, i.e my younger sibling being born, classes were getting harder, and my parents not being able to afford me playing too long anymore etc. I still had the game in my mind, and I opened it to be able to draw my character that I worked so hard on and was so proud for.
This was a level 100+ Gunslinger by the name of Lucy0127, with a pet called Brownie and my outfit had matched it. Black hair in a simple ponytail and I believe red or blue eyes. I loved it, and I think the Brownie pet and outfit were paid for as a birthday present from my parents who gave me permission to use the family card to spend (less than 30 dollars I think, this was all back in like early 2010s so memory is hella fuzzy).
I had given this game a pause for years, focusing on getting my education together and looking after my sibling. I had remembered one day about it and excitedly opened my laptop and downloaded it, since it was the weekend I could play all I wanted and level it up to reach cap, either new or old (this was around the time they had dropped the new card user class).
When.. I loaded the game and I heard the familiar music I was so happy. It felt like I was a child again. But then I went to the character select screen.
My Gunslinger was gone.
All my thousands of hours of grinding. The precious 20 dollars my parents so lovingly gave to me to spend how I wished, to pay for my favorite pet and the matching outfit for it. My guild, my friends. Everything. Gone.
I was so devastated. I tried loading another server, thinking maybe they changed how it loaded the characters depending on the server number. Nothing. I begrudgingly made a new character, named her, and first thing I did was see if the Brownie pet was on the shop. Because even after getting my character deleted, I could still grind it back up. I could still play and let myself hope to get everything back. The Brownie pet and outfit were long gone, it was no longer on the shops. I tried looking around for more info, but because this is essentially a small game with unique playing styles and outfits, nothing really came up because everyone had their own thing. I cried that day. I essentially lost the one part of my childhood that was so happy in one fell swoop.
Do I hate the game for it? No, I understand that with programs, some things had to go. Maybe I missed the email where they sent a warning and I missed my chance to keep my account as it was. Its long gone now, and I am just making this post to try to move on from it. The account has been unused for 10+ years now, and I do want to play again but it will probably be with a completely new account now. I will just have to see if I can find my old drawings of my characters. Maybe one day they will bring the pets and outfits back that I had so I could get them again.
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passingthetime · 3 years
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I never thought I'd be thankful to the Hungarian government for anything, but damn the details of our new restrictions are a relief...
#when i heard online school was back i was devastated#this is my last year in art school and actually my school's adult courses will be banned after that so my last chance too#and we were just starting to have live models in art class and that's pretty much pointless in online class...#but this time students learning a profession may participate in classes that require physical attendance in person#i didn't think they'd consider us honestly#but i'm grateful they did#also there's a national curfew between 8 p.m and 5 a.m which would be an issue for dog owners#but they get an exception to the curfew dogs can be walked at night near one's home which must be a relief for my parents#i didn't expect dog owners to be considered either so it's a pleasant surprise?#also they let go of some taxes#and restaurants and pubs can do delivery without any paperwork otherwise necessary#it's a lot more thought-through than in spring i can actually live with most of the new rules#the fact that our prime minister has absolute power now is scary though#so is the military presence in the streets even if they are just there cuz we don't have enough policemen#honestly the police patrolling the streets scared me enough already#also the new regulations will be published on facebook by the prime minister instead of the usual clear and detailed written stuff#which sucks because the shit he says usually makes no sense??#like there was a regulation back when restaurants could have guests#he said 'you can only remove your mask when you're eating' which was really vague#i mean when you're in the process of putting food in your mouth? or just when you have food in front of you?#then when details were released it turns out that meant you can take your mask off if you're sitting at a table...#so yeah hope i won't be fined for not being able to make sense of the prime minister's videos#but otherwise#as i was saying current regulations i can actually live with to my surprise#detailed and surprisingly minimizing negative consequences#rambling
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puttingherinhistory · 3 years
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"When I  arrived  to  speak, a boy  in  the  front  row  was  waiting, pencil poised  above  a  ruled  notebook.  He  gazed  at  me  intensely  throughout the  talk,  scribbling  furiously  away.  After  I  finished,  he  flipped  back to  the  front  page  to  read  out  a  question  that  he’d  prepared  and brought  with  him.  He  cited  false  statistics  about  rape,  claiming  men were  vastly  more  likely  to  be  victims,  and  asking  why  I  chose  to ignore  their  plight.  He  seemed  nervous  but  excited,  confident  he  had caught  me  in  a  lie,  with  the  air  of  triumphantly  unmasking  me  in front  of  all  his  fellow  students.  He  was  wearing  a  red  hat  emblazoned with words in white:  Make  America  Great  Again. Over  the  next  few  months,  I  started  to  notice  something  strange. There  was  always  that  one  boy.  Sometimes  two  or  three.  They watched  intently,  eyes  shining  with  excitement.  Then  they  asked  the same  questions.  They  gave  the  same  statistics.  Often  they  repeated each  other,  word  for  word. Particular  themes  started  cropping  up  again  and  again.  Why should  we  listen  to  you  when  women  lie  about  rape?  Feminism  is  a man-hating  conspiracy  designed  to  let  women  take  over  the  world when  men  are  the  real  victims  of  gender  inequality  in  today’s  society. Men  are  actually  more  likely  to  be  victims  of  domestic  violence  than women. The  gender  pay  gap  is  a  myth.
Eventually,  one  boy  referred  to  the  ‘gynocracy’  and  another  asked a  question  in  which  he  directly  quoted  Milo  Yiannopoulos  by  name. Everything  started  to  fall  into  place.  Instead  of  just  answering  boys’ questions  and  gently  providing  robust  statistics,  I  started  asking them  where  they’d  heard  the  quotes  they  were  repeating.  The  answer was always the  same: online.
And  so  hatred  of  women  is  ushered  into  young  men’s  belief systems  without  them  even  realising  that  that’s  what  it  is.  It  isn’t hating  women;  it’s  standing  up  for  men.  It  isn’t  hating  women;  it’s asking  for  ‘real’  equality.  It  isn’t  hating  women;  it’s  accepting biological  difference.  It  can’t  be  hating  women  if  everybody  is laughing  about  it  online. As  messages  and  conversations  like  this  increasingly  cropped  up on  my  radar,  it  began  to  seem  like  there  was  a  gradual  rise  in  the number  of  young  people  coming  into  contact  with  manosphere ideology. The  hostility  reported  by  girls  who  identify  as  feminists  at  UK schools  is  enormous,  with  repeated  stories  of  meetings  disrupted with  misogynistic  chants,  abusive  slogans  scrawled  over  posters,  and long-term  verbal  harassment  that  has  left  girls  devastated  or  even forced  to  change  schools.  A  young  woman  who identified  herself  as  a  feminist  in  a  school  discussion  I  attended emailed  me  after  she  was  subjected  to  a  campaign  of  harassment from  her  male  peers  as  a  result.  She  showed  me  text  messages  she had  received  from  boys  in  her  class,  whose  content  read  more  like  a manosphere  forum  than  a  teenage  text  exchange.  They  informed  her that  feminism  was  ‘sexist’,  that  men  are  simply  biologically  superior and  that  giving  them  better  jobs  is  just  the  best  way  to  progress  the human  race.  It’s  not  their  fault,  they  write;  they’re  not  trying  to  be ‘mean’,  it’s  just  the  way  things  are.  And,  reading  their  messages,  I really  think  they  believe  it.  These  are  the  arguments  that  teenage girls  today  –  not  100  years  ago  –  are  facing  from  their  male  peers. Imagine  having  to  try  to  confront  those  views  among  your classmates.  Imagine  going  to  school  and  learning  alongside  boys who  genuinely  believe  they  are  simply  genetically  superior  to  you.
The  boys  I  meet  at  schools  don’t  even  know  they  hate  women. They  are  mild-mannered  and  wide-eyed.  They  think  it’s  only  polite to  point  out  the  factual  inaccuracies  and  lies  repeated  by  feminists. They  have  seen  misogyny  online  so  often  and  heard  it  promoted  so persuasively  that  they  wouldn’t  even  recognise  it  as  a  form  of  hate. The  total  lack  of  awareness  about  this  form  of  radicalisation,  and the  enormous  impact  it  may  be  having  on  some  young  people,  is  a missed  opportunity  to  tackle  the  problem  before  it  spirals  out  of control."
- Laura Bates, Men who hate women
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piggyjeans · 3 years
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Talentless (request)
Sebastian stan x teen!reader, Sebastian stan x costar!reader
Request description: so a Sebastian Stan x teen!reader, where they are really close and he helps them a lot and. they are in a few movies together. in one interview or online or something some accuses the reader of riding their career off of Sebastian’s and Seb assures them that it is not the case
Requested by: @ellerosie2332 it won’t tag u idk why im sorry :(
Warnings: online bullying & insecurity
(A/n): ok I’m sorry bc this is really really short :/ I honestly don’t like thjs fic at all but I wanted to post it for u bc u deserve it . Thank u for requesting it :D I love the request just not the way I wrote it. I hope u like it tho, sorry if u don’t :(
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You’d met seb a few years back when you were a brand new actor cast in a movie with him. It was your first acting job and you were ecstatic to be working with someone so extravagant and famous. You didn’t know what to say when you first met him, because of how new to the acting game you were, and you’d had no experience. So you just decided to stay quiet.
But when you finally met him, he’d walked over to the coffee & pastries table you stood at, and introduced himself. “Hi, I’m y/n. Nice to meet you.” You replied politely. But by the end of the day, you two were already laughing and making jokes out of everything. You’d shown your true self and Sebastian loved it.
Over the time the two of you worked together on that first movie, you grew closer and closer everyday. You were such close friends that the directors and crew had to separate you as often as they could because otherwise you were incredibly disruptive with your laughter and constant ability to find humor in anything.
The day you wrapped was devastating, because you didn’t want to leave your best friend. You didn’t remember what life was like before you’d met Sebastian and you don’t want to go back to figuring it out. The two of you hugged for like an hour before you left on your flight to go back to your hometown, and you cried the entire way, texting Sebastian about how sad you were, and the old man who was sleeping next to you on the plane. You even took a selfie with him while he was drooling on his neck pillow. Sebastian made you smile even when you were states apart.
And only a few days after you’d wrapped the movie, you sat in your bed after finishing school, with nothing to do. Once you checked your email you were offered a role in another movie that had casted Sebastian stan, So you screenshotted the email and sent it to Sebastian and you both freaked out. Yeah, Sebastian freaked out like a teenage girl from his apartment in NYC.
Low and behold, no more than a month later, the two of you were reunited to work together, and make more and more crew members aggravated out of their mind.
This was only one of many. Over the course of the past few years, you and Sebastian have worked in five different movies together, and there could possibly be more in the future. You two had a Seth Rogen & James Franco dynamic, in the aspect of how many movies you’ve worked in together, disregarding the controversy with James Franco.
You two were doing press for your most recent movie, where you played Sebastian's daughter. It was incredible to film, as always. So much fun, and that’s what you told anyone who asked you.
Today, you and Sebastian had been doing interviews all morning nonstop, and you were absolutely exhausted. It’d been one after another of answering the same questions, and you barely had any time to do anything else.
In the interview you were currently in, a 30 something man was asking you the same questions you’d been hearing all day, and you were ready to just repeat all the other answers you’ve said. But this was pretty much the first time all day you’ve heard a different question. The man said, “So y/n, how do you feel about getting nominated for a young actors award?” You stared at him.
You didn’t say anything at first, your eyes were confused as you were trying to comprehend what he just said. Sebastian must’ve been feeling the same way, because he replied for you when he said, “what?”
The man repeated his question, and neither of you answered, again. “Y/n was nominated for a young actors award today, have you not heard?” He said.
“Holy shit, what!?” Sebastian said, as he turned to look at you. Honestly you were still processing when the man told you the first time, and it barely even hit you. “Oh my god.” You said. Thank god that was the last interview for the day, because after that, you and Sebastian went back to your own hotel rooms and just sat around. You were alone in your room, scrolling through social media, liking and replying to all the nice comments.
Then you went on Instagram and saw that Sebastian had tagged you in a post. He posted a picture of you that he’d taken from many years ago. You barely even remember the moment because of how young you were, and you look entirely different. The two of you were eating ice cream. You can’t believe sebastians kept such a low quality picture on his phone for so long, but it makes you smile as you double tap on the photo, slightly scrolling down to read the caption.
sebastianstan: give it up for the coolest kid I know! Y/n is such an amazing actor, and has been since the day I first met them. I’m so thankful to have had the honor and privilege of getting to know them so early on in their career, and I wouldn’t change that for the world! Y/n has built their career from the ground up and it’s been incredible to watch, congratulations y/n, go big or go home!
You smile at your phone, and comment LOVE U SEB💓💓💓
You spend a few more minutes on Instagram, and the last social media you decide to check is Twitter. When you first open it, you see fan accounts that you’d followed tweeting things like, “y/n antis are being ruthless rn I feel terrible :/“
You’re confused, so you check the trending page, and there you are. Y/n l/n is trending. You screenshot it five times and send it to your best friends. This is even crazier than when you’d found out you were nominated for the award in the first place. Once you click on your name, you wish you hadn’t. Your fan accounts are right. People are being ruthless.
Sebastian congratulating y/n as if he’s not the entire reason they’re famous LMFAOOOO
I just know seb feels bad for y/n and the fact that they have the emotional capacity of a fucking dog and had to post that to try to convince them otherwise… he’s too nice that he just bold faced lies I can’tttt😭😭😭😭😭
I don’t get it bc y/n literally doesn’t have an ounce of talent ?? Like anyone of us on stan twt could do better than them I-
Bruh the way y/n would literally be no where if not for seb…😭😭😭
LMFAOOO THE WAY I JUST KNOW Y/N WAS SO HAPPY AFTER SEEING SEBS POST AS IF ITS NOT ALLLLL A LIE I CANT
You furrow your eyebrows in anger, and close out the Twitter app. You stand up and walk away from your phone. Are they right? Is it all because of Sebastian? You barely had any projects that Sebastian is not a part of, so maybe they are right.
You get ready to go to dinner with Sebastian, even though you’re not feeling like it anymore. Your stomach turns in embarrassment as you think about how people really see you that way. You never meant to build your entire career off of him, but I guess people noticed. Before you or Sebastian did.
A few minutes later, Sebastian knocks on your door. You open it while walking past it, not paying attention. “You ready?” He asks. You hum in reply, rubbing your forehead. “You alright, y/n?” He asks, you nod your head slowly, looking for your shoes.
He walks over to you and puts his hand on your shoulder, you sigh immediately and look up at him. “What's wrong? We’re going out to celebrate, you need to be happy!” Sebastian says. You shake your head again, and walk away from him, letting his hand drop to his side. “Everything’s fine, Sebastian. Don’t worry. I’ll have fun.” You say, in possibly the least reassuring voice you could.
“Y/n, cut the bullshit. I don’t need you to lie to me, alright? What’s wrong?” Sebastian says, putting his hands on his hips. He looks maternal. If the two of you weren’t low-key fighting at the moment, you’d tease him for looking like your mother.
“Just the internet. It’s fine, it happens all the time. Stupid kids saying stupid things, whatever. Let’s just go.” You say, sitting on the foot of your bed to put your shoes on.
“Okay, well what was said this time?” Sebastian asks you, and you sigh. “A lot of things, alright? People saying I don’t deserve the award and stuff, it doesn’t matter.” You stand up and look in the mirror on the wall of your hotel room.
“Y/n.” Sebastian says, standing behind you and watching your face from the mirror. “People were saying I didn’t have any talent because I piggybacked off your career, basically. But like I said, it’s chill, so let’s just go.” You say, avoiding eye contact at all cost, searching your room for something that isn’t even there, because you know if you look at Sebastian, your risking crying.
Sebastian is quiet for a while, “That's a lie.” Is all he says. You finally meet his gaze, and chuckle. “Yeah. Thanks. Let's go.” You say, grabbing your bag. “You are talented, y/n. More talented than I am. And at such a young age.” He says, sitting on the foot of your bed. “Alright seb, thanks. It’s fine.” You say.
“I mean, who would even say those things? They’re probably just immature high schoolers who are jealous because you get to hang out with me. And I’m cool.” He continues.
You laugh slightly, “yeah, you’re cool seb. Come on, we’re gonna be late.” He shakes his head, “don’t listen to those people. You built your own career. You wouldn’t have been cast with me for the first time if you were talentless. They know nothing.” He says.
You smile. “Thank you.”
“Don’t ever listen to people who hide behind a screen and make such bold claims. Their opinions are the least valid in this world, even if they think it’s the most important.” Sebastian says, standing up.
You continue smiling, not knowing when he’s gonna stop, so not knowing when to answer. “You gonna say thank you again?” He says. “Thanks.” You laugh.
He walks over and hugs you. “You’re important to me. You wouldn’t be important to me if you had no talent.”
You gasp dramatically, and pull out of the hug. “Is that all I’m worth to you!?” You say, tapping into your acting skills. But Sebastian is just laughing. “I’m the one riding off of your career. They’ve got it all wrong.” He says. Now the two of you are laughing. You laugh out the door, you laugh walking to dinner, in the car, all night. Whenever you’re together, you two always find a way to make everything funny, and to work everything out.
Taglist: @ohworm-writes
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unoriginalmess · 3 years
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Untitled Feralnette Fic Ch. 1
Hiya there anyone who happens upon this first chapter of this fic. I would like to start out by saying that this is my first fanfic ever. I've been wanting to write a fic for the miraculous fandom for a while but I haven't had any inspiration until I stumbled upon this glorious AU created by @bigfatbreak. I highly suggest checking out all of their posts about this au because they are hilarious and genius and about 100 other amazing adjectives that could be used to describe them and their posts. Anyways enough with my rant and let's get on with the fic. ⚠️Slight angst⚠️ ⚠️Swearing⚠️
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When Marinette got home after her and Luka's breakup, all she could do was cry. She wanted to be with him, but her Ladybug duties came first. If lying is a deal breaker for him, then maybe it was best that they ended it now while their relationship was still in its early stages. Still, she couldn't help but feel the loss of her first relationship. She ended up crying for a whole entire day. She just hoped that Hawkmoth(or Shadowmoth or whatever the fuck he wanted to be referred to as this week) wasn't feeling particularly akuma-y today, because she didn't know if she could bottle up all these feelings, even though the world is relying on her ability to do so.
Ugggghhh!! It has been exhausting having to be "happy and perfect Marinette" and "happy and perfect Ladybug" All. The. Time. She's also pretty sure that Hawkmoth had discovered the similarities in her personality as Marinette to Ladybug, and that's why she's been targeted by multiple akumas lately. She has had to have her emotions under control even more than usual. If only there was a way to get Hawkmoth to stop targeting her. Maybe she should just not give a fuck anymore. Haha as if! It couldn't be that easy! Could it?
The more she thinks about it the more it starts to make sense. If she just let herself go completely crazy as Marinette, she would be killing like 10 birds with one stone. She would get hawkmoth off of her trail, she wouldn't have to deal with having to hide her emotions all of the time, she wouldn't have to deal with the added stress of maintaining her perfect persona, she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of Lila's lies taking her friends away if she didn't have friends in the first place, and so much more stress would be taken off of her plate! It was perfect! It might hurt a little at first, but it's for the best in the end. She spent that night planning out her outfit for tomorrow, doing her homework, and going to sleep knowing that, in the morning, François Dupont isn't gonna know what hit them.
....
Adrien Agreste had been having a rough week. He had been abandoned on patrol by ladybug, been broken up with by his girlfriend, and was feeling completely and utterly alone. He knows that his lady has been feeling overwhelmed by her guardian duties lately, and that he 100% deserved that verbal lasting that kagami had given him but he couldn't help but feel this way. He was also feeling guilty about lying to kagami and leading her on for so long. After she broke up with him he took some time to assess his feelings for her and realized that he had more of an admiration for her than an infatuation. He definitely didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him. She told him that she LOVED HIM, and he was so distracted (blinded) by ladybug that he didn't even process her confession. So, he was looking forward to Sunday morning. He cleared his schedule and on that beautiful Sunday morning, he did what he is only allowed to do on very rare occasions: sleep in. Or at least... thats what he had planned on doing.
When Nathalie had knocked on his door that morning Adrien was not in a good mood. He vaguely heard her say something about father wanting him downstairs in some amount of time for something involving a business partners child and some other robotic sounding words that his half asleep brain couldn't process completely.
"I have a cleared schedule this morning, Nathalie. What could father possibly want me for that is more important than my precious sleep?" He asked snappily.
"Your father wants you downstairs to welcome the new guest that will be living in the house for the rest of the school year. You have 15 minutes to make yourself look presentable and I suggest leaving the attitude upstairs," she half informed/half reprimanded him. As she walked away, Adrien reluctantly rose from his nice warm bed and went to go get ready with only one thought racing through his mind: Who could possibly be staying with them?
....
Felix Culpa was not looking forward to living at the Agreste mansion for the rest of the school year, but for their parents' sake they would do what they had to. It wasn't all for their parents either, they were also concerned about the strange "dissapearance" of Emilie (who was his aunt in all ways except blood relation) and about the treatment of Adrien since said "disappearance".
You see, Felix Culpa is the heir to the Culpa Fabric Empire. The Culpas have been the sole fabric supplier of the Agreste brand since the very beginning. Felix's mom Diana was best friends with Emilie since their college days. Diana and Emilie made the deal with the two brands because as best friends who are both involved in the same industry, it just made sense to have a business relationship with each other. Diana never really cared for Gabriel as a person, but she could tell that he loved Emilie more than anyone else in the world so she could tolerate him for the sake of her best friend.
When Emilie went missing, Diana was absolutely devastated and tried anything she could to find her. She invested in missing person ads as large as billboards, organized search teams, tried to aid the police in their search for her in any way she could, but there was no leads, no legitimate calls to the number on the billboards, and the search team came up empty handed. While she was doing all of this to try to find her, she couldn't help but be furious over the fact that Gabriel was doing nothing to help in the search. All he did was hole himself up in his oversized mansion and call it a day.
The last straw for Diana was when Gabriel tried to use the "grieving my wife" excuse to try to abuse their business arrangement. That day, she told him that the Culpa brand would no longer be associated with the Agreste brand and that after the new collection is released, he would need to find a new fabric supplier. She knew that the Agreste brand would take a huge hit from having sub-par fabric, but she never thought that Gabriel would try to make up for that fact by using Adrien as a walking mannequin and locking him up in the desolate prison that he calls a home. As soon as she realized that he was doing this she scrambled to find a solution.
That is how Felix ended up here, standing in front of the mansion they would be living in for the next 9 months in exchange for Gabriel getting back into the Culpa brand's good graces. Don't get them wrong, they were excited about being able to be in Paris, home of the most innovative fashion pieces in the world, and about being able to see their honorary cousin Adrien (who wasn't half bad to be around despite him having no backbone whatsoever when it came to anything involving his father) but dealing with Mr. Agreste was definitely one of the low points of this arrangement.
They decided to just get it over with and knocked on the door. It was opened by the man that their cousin affectionately referred to as Gorilla. They nodded a thank you to the man, remembering that he was a man of few words, and proceeded to the bottom of the staircase. Mr. Agreste stood at the top with a very tired looking Adrien a few steps down. Felix wasn't even slightly surprised that this is where he chooses to welcome his guests, looking down on people must give him some sort of power trip or something. It's almost as if he heard the phrase "It's over, Anakin, I have the high ground," and made that his own personal motto. Whatever, let him have the feeling of false power if he wanted it, Felix knows that they have all the power in this situation and they're sure that Gabriel knows it as well.
"Hello Felix," Mr. Agreste greeted them with the same amount of warmth in his voice as liquid nitrogen, "while you are staying in this house you will abide by my rules. Adrien will inform you of them and show you to your room. You will attend school with him in the morning and I'm sure that you already know that you must represent not only the Culpa brand, but also the Agreste as well. I will be in my office working, do not disturb me. Contact Nathalie with any questions that cannot be answered by Adrien." He finished his spiel and left to what Felix assumed was his office space.
"Hello Felix!" Adrien greeted him with as much enthusiasm as he could muster in his sleepy state. "Come with me and I'll show you to your room."
Adrien led Felix to their room and listed all of the rules of the household that they were expected to follow. And... wow. Felix could not believe that their cousin had to live like this. The only social interaction this kid gets is at school and fencing? Pre-approved outings only with people determined socially acceptable by Gabriel? And if he gets even one "B" he isn't even going to be allowed to go to school at all? Felix knew that the living situation was bad for Adrien but know the only question running through their head was: What did they get themselves into??
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And... thats it for chapter 1! Mostly background info at this point, but next chapter will be the class' reaction to feralnette and felinette meeting for the first time. I just want to say thanks again to @bigfatbreak for giving me the inspiration to write a fic for the first time ever. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, I'm always looking to improve, especially at writing since this is my first time posting anything I've written online, so I want to get better so that I can make better content for you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know and I'll make a tag list for ya. :)
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