#when im done im done and i say fuck it every time

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 31] || [Chapter 33]

Pairing: Gaz x gn!Reader || Ghost x gn!Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.3K~ cw: not angst but a bit 'angsty', fluff fluff fluff. Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: This one made me all emosh to write ngl.

Chapter 32: No Harm Done.

You're sitting by the sliding glass door leading out to the balcony on Sunday morning, looking out and holding a warm drink in your hands.

It's raining outside. It's always raining in England, so it shouldn't really surprise you... but it still feels like a lazy, down-sort of day regardless.

You're home alone. Johnny went to base for P.T. and a meeting of sorts, while Kyle went out to the gym himself, giving you some time for yourself.

Your phone sits in front of you, fingers tapping away, back-and-forth, between chats with friends and with the lads, your lads.

Ghost said they'd text you to let you know when they were back, a promise they'd made after they sort of just turned up at your door all injured and hurt without warning so many weeks ago.

It feels like it's been an eternity since you had them all here.

Your eyes find your chat with Simon, flittering over the last couple of texts you sent each other. Right before the boys left on their newest mission.

Regardless of what Kyle and Johnny say about Simon, he's actually the best texter out of all of them... John being the worst.

simon: Have about 5 minutes before we have to go. you: will u be safe? simon: Always am sweetheart. simon: Don't you worry about me. you: i meant ALL of you. you: and of course i worry about u! simon: If it was about all of us, you wouldn't be messaging me separately. simon: And I appreciate it but you shouldn't. you: i hate how smart u are. you: u face death literally every day in your job simon: And I always come back. you: okay but im allowed to worry no? you: youd worry about the others too? simon: I guess so. simon: But I'll be fine. you: u dont know that. simon: I know enough. simon: Been doing this for over a decade. you: that's not reassuring the way you think it is. simon: You're very worried. Is this because of what I said?

That text makes you set down your phone when you read it again, your face warm with embarrassment at the reminder, just like it had been during that text exchange as it was happening.

He had told you he loves you. Two of them had by now.

The thought of that still makes you shiver, the words so full of emotion and vulnerability when Simon said them, never any pressure on you, just a gesture on his end.

you: maybe? simon: That's really cute of you. simon: Don't let it make you worry or overthink. simon: I'll make sure I come back to you. you: si... simon: GTG ✋ simon: Will text you when I touch down.

Kyle's, however, were a lot less vulnerable. They were sweet, sudden, driven by happiness and amusement...

Both of them came out of left field and caught you off-guard.

Both of them felt just as real, however.

You took a sip of your warm drink and glanced out of the window again, watching the droplets slide down the glass panes.

You can't help but think about how things have been going for you.

Is this becoming too much? Is it going too far? Did you finally lose the plot?

When did a silly little Tinder account you made with your friends while fighting heartbreak become a 4-way relationship and 2 out 4 men telling you they're in love with you?

You're lost in thought when the door opens behind you, Kyle making his way in.

"Hey, lovie." He greeted, causing you to jump a bit, spilling some of your drink over the glass top of the table.

"Ah, fuck." You complained as you reached for the napkin holder and started mopping up the liquid. "Hi, Ky." You added as you cleaned the mess you made.

"Sorry, did I catch you off guard?" He asked as he approached the table and began to help you.

"Yeah..." You murmured and looked up at him, finally, finding him in a grey sleeveless hoodie and black workout shorts.

You smiled softly at him as you gathered the wet napkins and moved to the kitchen to dispose of them.

Kyle seemed to catch the look in your eyes as you glanced up at him. "What's wrong? You seem strange..." He asked as you followed you into the kitchen.

"Just thinking, it's nothing." You told him as you turned after throwing out the rubbish, only to find him standing right behind you, looking at you with scrunched brows.

"Is this about yesterday?" He asked you softly. "Was it too early?" He added in earnest.

The memories of the day before come back to you sharply. The way, after he told you he loved you, you sputtered for a bit, your face burning up, your eyes wide...

And how you had come back home together, your nose still pink, his cheek still red, the both of you looking embarrassed and sheepish, avoiding eye contact and biting your lip.

How Johnny had teased the two of you, thinking you had gotten down and dirty in the car and that's why you had come home looking so embarrassed...

You look up at him with a sigh and shake your head. "No, it's just..." You trailed off.

"Was it because Soap teased us after we came back?" He reached forward and gently ran a hand over your cheek.

"No!" You added and sighed, leaning into his palm, and gently holding his forearm in your hand.

"I'm just worried... I've never... been in something like this before." You explained, as you looked into his eyes. "More than one partner and-"

Kyle nodded at you, watching you with understanding eyes and a soft gaze, like he wanted you to keep talking, communicating.

"I don't know how to act about this... I don't know..." You trailed off and looked away for a moment. "It's... a strange feeling."

"To love more than one person at once?" He asked you as his brows raised in inquiry.

You nodded in response and looked up at him. "Yeah... And to... have them love me back."

"So I wasn't the first to tell you, huh?" Kyle asked, having caught the way you mentioned 'more than one person' when it came to 'loving you back'.

Your face burned up hot in embarrassment and you shook your head at him.

"Simon was." You replied, which made Kyle's eyes widen and then a smile take over his lips as he shook his head.

"Wasn't expecting that..." Kyle admitted as he caressed your cheek again.

"Did you say it back for him? Like you did for me?" He asked and you nodded your head in reply.

"Well..." Kyle trailed off, seemingly lost in thought for a moment, as if pondering what to say, and how to say it. "It's not exactly a bad feeling, is it?"

You shook your head. It wasn't a bad feeling. In fact, you quite liked having said the words, having had the words said to you.

"Then, I'd say there's not a big cause for worry. We all knew this would happen, right?" He added. You, once again, nodded at him.

Gently, he cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks. "Then, let's just... let it be." He chuckled.

"You and I love each other. You and Simon love each other. I love Simon too..." He admitted with a shrug. "No harm done, right?"

Smiling a bit more, you ended up nodding and gently pushed up, kissing him slowly and deeply, both of your eyes closing, his hands caressing your face, your hands caressing his forearms...

You're so into the kiss, you don't hear the front door close, nor Johnny approach, until he shows up at the kitchen door. "Greedy bastard, leave some space for the Tav, will ye?"

taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):

@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling ,

@tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva ,

@emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes ,

@irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @cod-z , @frescoisnotinthemilitary ,

@leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark , @xxshadowbabexx , @severenswife , @enarien ,

@l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago ,

@sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki ,

@comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear ,

@mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat ,

@stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving ,

@blckbrrybasket , @agoodmoviekiss

#ikea writes 💚 #it's a match! fic #cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #text story #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #141 x reader #gaz x reader #ghost x reader

[jistagrams]

Nerdy jisung..... def would be sitting in his car listening to some rnb singer like frank ocean or sza, talking to eachother as the music hums in the background, car was barley dirty. Looks way to clean to be owned by some 22 year old in college, little do you know he had taken it to get washed and cleaned the day before you guys hung out. you both went on random subjects, but he can't get one thing out of his head. that thing was your stupid little dress you had on, sure u wanted to look all pretty for some nerd you had seen in the book store looking at some kid reading level Lego book. Thought he was cute so you asked him on a date, 4 weeks later and 6 dates here you are. Talking to jisung who won't take it a step further cause he wants to move "slow". Right he wants to move slow. So why is he thinking about how sweet you taste, or how pretty your moans would be. He's thought every disgusting thing you could imagine, he's thought about you in the shower as his whines fill up the room, thought about you right before bed as he opened up his photos and scrolled to your very own album that lies in his phone, labeled "💗" cute you had thought when you had saw it on his phone while he sheepishly went on Instagram once you saw it, little did you know he used all the e pictures of you together to get off to when he's alone at night, when you spent the night just that one time because it was raining, he held back every fiber in his body to not quickly run to the bathroom to drop his load. Anyways. Back to your dress. Too short, wayyyy to short for jisung to act like he doesn't even realize. what you realized was him spaced out, "you good ji?" your soft voiced brought him back to reality, "uhm yea, was just thinking" he shyly says as red fills his cheeks. "u sure? Kinda look like a tomato" you teased softly, uncrossing your legs immediately jisung notices, one more move and im gonna lose it. He was right, once you let out a soft sigh while stretching he couldn't be silent anymore, 4 weeks was surely enough...right? "yn, I can't hold myself back anymore please let me touch you" he whined unbuckling his seatbelt, you smile and laugh softly, unbuckling yours soon after. "was hoping you'd say something, wore this dress to get you to fuck me" you smile, sliding over onto his lap mid sentence, "fuckkkkk, it definitely worked cus there's no way your leaving my car without me getting to fuck the living shit out of u" he says while holding your hips down, "always thought of u as a lil virgin loser" you whined softly when he started moving his hips up. "May look like one, but trust me baby i definitely know what I'm doing" he plants hickeys on your neck, sliding your panties to the side as you unzip his pants.

"I know damn well jisung didn't give you all of those hickeys"

"you'd be surprised what that man has done."

"....what?"

"js know he definitely isn't a nerd."

#jistagrams rants #kpop #kpop smut #jistagrams answers #nct imagines #nct x reader #RAHHHHHHH NERD JISUNG #nct dream smut #jisung smut #had this thought while watching doctor slump...how? idk dont ask me

[itneverendshere]

guilty conscience (+18)

chapter iii

pairing: rafe cameron x female!reader

summary: when ward cameron, a renowned business man and millionaire specifically requested your services through an escort agency, you assumed it would be just another job—brief and straightforward. however, your entire world shifted when ward disclosed his true intentions and rafe cameron stumbled into your life. there were rules, and rules were meant to be followed.

was money worth breaking someone’s heart?

taglist: lmk if you want to be added (comment down below! if you've already asked me to be here and I didn't tag you LET ME KNOW AGAIN CAUSE IM VERY FORGETFUL) : @haruvalentine4321 @maybankslover

Your phone buzzed in your nightstand, startling you out of your reverie. 

With a sigh, you fished it out, glancing at the screen to see Ward's name flashing in bold letters. You’d just texted him an hour earlier but spared any details for your sake.

Taking a deep breath, you answered the call, plastering on your most professional tone. 

"Hey, Ward. How's it going?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end, followed by Ward's booming voice, filled with impatience. 

"Well? Did you find him? How's it going over there?"

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to tell him you royally fucked up. The truth was things hadn't exactly gone according to plan. Rafe had slipped through your fingers not once, but twice, leaving you feeling more defeated than ever.

But you couldn't let Ward know that. Not yet, at least.

"It's... going." you replied vaguely, trying to keep your tone upbeat.

There was a pause on the other end, and you could practically hear Ward's mind whirring with impatience.

 "Make it faster," he snapped, his tone sharp and demanding. "He’ll be at the golf course tomorrow, 9 sharp.”

The golf course?!

You had never golfed a day in your life, let alone attempted to blend in with a bunch of rich snobs on the green. For fuck’s sake. This was going to be a disaster.

On the other hand, you were nothing if not resourceful. You didn’t know the first thing about golf, but you were a quick learner. And if there was one thing you were good at, it was improvising on the fly. 

“Sofia works there. Get his attention off her.”

Easier said than done. 

“Ward, your son looks at her like she hung the moon and the stars."

"I don't pay you to play matchmaker, sweetheart," he retorted sharply, his tone laced with irritation. "I pay you to get the job done. Now, I don't want any excuses tomorrow. Make sure you're at that golf course bright and early, and don't screw this up."

With that, he hung up the phone.

Fucking assshole.

You slammed your phone down on the nightstand, cursing under your breath.

Ward might have been your current employer, but that didn't mean you had to like him. Dealing with his crap was like dealing with a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum. Except, you know, this toddler had a lot more money and power, which somehow made it even worse.

You were not some puppet he could just yank around whenever he felt like it, constantly ordering you around like some sort of lackey.

But you were not about to let Ward's ridiculous demands get the best of you. If he wanted you to be a professional golfer, you would give him just that.

The evening turned into a crash course on all things golf. Who knew there was so much to learn about golf etiquette? You spent hours glued to your laptop, absorbing every last detail you could find. And those YouTube tutorials? Let's just say you had never clicked on a video so fast in your life.

Then came the real fun—practicing your swing.

Spoiler alert: it was a hot mess. You must've looked like a total dweeb flailing around with that golf club in your hotel room. 

And let's not forget about perfecting your fake smile. You must've spent a solid hour in front of the mirror, trying out different variations until you found the one that said, "I'm totally a golf pro, trust me."

By the time morning rolled around, you were as ready as you'd ever be. 

You found yourself standing outside the gates of the local Country Club, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves. You glanced down at your outfit, a bunch of preppy pieces that you hoped screamed "I belong here" rather than "I have no idea what I'm doing." 

And hey, bonus points for the fact that it made your ass and legs look great. Confidence boost, check.

With a mental pep talk and a final adjustment to your collar, you stepped through the gates, steeling yourself for what lay ahead. The crisp scent of freshly cut grass filled the air, mingling with the distant sound of clubs striking balls and polite laughter. You felt like a fish out of water in this sea of polo shirts and khaki shorts, but you refused to let it show. 

Taking a deep breath, you approached the pro shop, hoping they had something available for a last-minute rental. Inside, it was bustling with old men browsing through rows of shiny clubs and chatting with the staff.

You stepped up to the counter, plastering on your best smile as you tried to appear confident. 

“Hi there," you greeted the clerk, your voice coming out a little shakier than you would have liked. "I was wondering if you had any clubs available for rent?"

The clerk eyed you curiously, clearly noticing your lack of golf attire. "Sure thing," he replied with a friendly smile. "What kind of clubs are you looking for?"

You paused, realizing you had no idea what kind of clubs you needed. "Um, just something... basic?" you ventured, feeling completely out of your depth.

The clerk nodded understandingly and disappeared into the back room, returning a moment later with a set of clubs. "These should do the trick," he said, handing them over to you. "Just sign here, and you're all set."

You hastily scribbled your signature on the rental form, feeling a rush of relief as you finally held the clubs in your hands. 

The course stretched out before you, lush green fairways bordered by trees and dotted with sand traps and water hazards. It all looked so pristine and posh, like something out of a magazine. You couldn't help but admire the luxury of it all, even though you felt like a total fish out of water.

Glancing around, you realized you were flying solo. No caddy to show you the ropes, no fellow players to offer tips or cheer you on. It was just you, your instincts, and the vast expanse of the course.

And let's not forget, your sheer power of delusion. 

Taking a deep breath, you placed your ball on the tee and tried to remember everything you'd learned from those YouTube tutorials.

Grip firm, eye on the ball, swing smooth. Easy, right?

With trembling hands, you lifted the club and took a practice swing, hoping to shake off some of the jitters. Then, with a quick scan down the fairway, you drew back and swung.

The ball sailed through the air, arcing gracefully before landing with a satisfying thud on the fairway. It wasn't the most impressive shot in the world, but it was a start. You hadn't missed the ball entirely or accidentally hit someone in the head.

Small victories and all.

You grinned, feeling a rush of pride. Maybe this golf thing wasn't so bad after all.

You continued to take swings, each one feeling a little more confident than the last. It was all about finding that rhythm, hearing that satisfying "thwack" when the club met the ball, and watching it soar through the air.

You got lost in the game, forgetting all about the stress of the morning. The sun was climbing, spreading this warm, cozy light over the course, and all around you, there were these little moments of nature - birds chirping, clubs swishing, and the occasional "fore!" from nearby players. 

It was kind of peaceful, in a way. All you cared about was nailing that next shot. Walking down the fairway, you couldn't help but grin to yourself. Sure, you weren’t exactly a golf prodigy, but who cared? 

Just as you were lining up for another swing, a voice startled you from behind. "Hey new face, need a hand?"

“Fuck!” You blurted out, nearly dropping the club at the sound of his voice.

There he was, Rafe Cameron, looking all cool and collected in his golf gear like he'd just stepped out of a magazine. And of course, he caught you in the middle of your amateur hour on the course. You were hoping to find him during a break, probably around the bar, lurking around Sofia.

"Hey.” he said with a smirk, sauntering over to where you stood frozen in embarrassment. "Didn't mean to scare you.”

You tried to muster up a nonchalant response, but all that came out was a nervous chuckle. "Yeah. Just, you know, getting some practice in."

For the first time in my life, you’d like to add. 

Rafe glanced down at the clubs in your hand, a glint in his eyes.

"Practice, huh? Well, you definitely look like you're giving it your all."

You wanted to die.

You forced a smile, hoping he couldn't see the panic swirling beneath the surface. "Yeah, well, gotta start somewhere, right?"

He chuckled, a sound that sent a shiver down your spine. "Mind if I join you?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the suggestion. This was not part of the plan, but you welcomed it anyway. You couldn't help but feel nervous at the thought of him witnessing your less-than-stellar golfing skills up close. But then again, you weren’t here to become a professional golfer, you were here to woo him off his feet and get paid.

Ward's words echoed in your mind—get his attention off her. And what better way to do that than by keeping him occupied with small talk on the golf course?

You shrugged, "The more, the merrier, right?"

"Exactly.” He said, falling into step beside you as you headed down the fairway. "So, how long have you been playing?"

You hesitated, not wanting to admit that this was your first time on a golf course. "Oh, you know, just getting into it recently," You replied vaguely, hoping he wouldn't press for details. "How about you?”

Rafe ran a hand through his tousled hair. "Been playing since I was a kid," he admitted. "It's kind of a family thing."

Of course, it is. Rich people. Nothing like a little golf for some family bonding time. But it gave you the opening you needed to make a personal connection. Nothing like sharing personal information to establish contact.

 “That’s cute. My family thing was shoving pizzas down our throat every Friday.”

Rafe chuckled at your comment, the sound genuine. “Pizza Fridays sound pretty great, actually."

You smiled back, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. Maybe this wouldn't be as awkward as you'd feared. "Yeah, they were definitely the highlight of the week," you admitted. "But I have to say, golf seems a lot more... sophisticated."

Rafe raised an eyebrow. "Sophisticated, huh? You must be hanging out with the wrong crowd."

You felt yourself relax a little more with each passing moment. 

"Maybe I just need the right teacher," you said, giving him a sideways glance.

Rafe's smile widened, and he stepped a little closer, "Well, lucky for you, I happen to know a thing or two about golf."

 "Is that so?" you replied, trying to keep your tone light despite the sudden flutter in your stomach.

Rafe nodded, his expression turning more serious. "Yeah," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "If you're interested, I'd be happy to show you."

You could feel every little detail, like how close you were and the intensity in his eyes, like they were trying to unravel some mystery hidden deep inside you. 

No, no, no.

Pull yourself together! You mentally slapped yourself, shaking off the dreamy haze that seemed to cloud your brain whenever he looked at you. You had goals, a mission to nail, and getting all googly-eyed over some suave, wealthy guy was not on the agenda. 

You flashed him this playful grin, trying to play it cool even though your heart was doing somersaults in your chest.

 "Oh, I dunno," you teased, taking a little step back to collect yourself. "Golf lessons? Sounds like it could burn a hole in my wallet. Can't be going broke over a new hobby."

Rafe chuckled, his eyes lingering on you for a second before he backed off, “You think I’d charge you?”

The way he said it, so casually, it sent a thrill through you, but you knew better than to let yourself get carried away. This was part of the game, after all.

“You’re always this nice to strangers?”

His blonde, tousled hair fell just so, framing his angular jawline, while a subtle stubble added a rugged charm to his appearance. And his smile... ugh, it's like he knew how fine he was. Rafe had this smirk that was just... chef's kiss. And his eyes? Sparkling like he was up to no good but in the best way possible. You couldn’t stop staring. 

“Only the pretty ones.” he replied smoothly, his tone dripping with flirtation.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, trying to maintain your composure despite the butterflies dancing in your stomach. But damn, if he didn't have a way with words.

"Well, lucky me then," you quipped, hoping your voice sounded steadier than you felt. “But don't think you're getting off that easy. 'M not just some pretty face, you know.

Rafe raised an eyebrow, gaze fixed on your hands as you moved them to fix your ponytail, “Is that so?"

Ah, you have no idea.

"Guess you'll just have to stick around to find out,” you replied with a cheeky wink, feeling a surge of confidence wash over you. “But fair warning, I'm not exactly a pro at this.”

Rafe chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Don't worry,” he said, his voice softening. “I'll go easy on you.”

His confident demeanor was infectious, and you couldn't resist playing along.

“Who said I wanted easy?”

He tilted his head slightly, his hair shifted with the movement, “You think you can take me?”

With that, he gestured for you to take the next shot. You could feel his eyes on you as you lined up your shot, the weight of his gaze fueling your focus.

Taking a deep breath, you blocked out all distractions and focused on the ball. Grip firm, eyes locked on the target, you swung the club with all the force you could muster.

The ball sailed through the air, soaring gracefully before landing with a satisfying thud on the fairway. You couldn't help but grin as you watched it roll to a stop, a surge of pride coursing through your veins.

Rafe let out a low whistle, his expression somewhat impressed. "Not bad," he conceded. "Let's see if you can keep it up."

“Sounds like you’re scared…”

His eyebrows practically hit the sky when you threw down the gauntlet, his lips curling up. "Scared?" he shot back, his voice oozing with playful doubt, “Of you?”

Oh boy.

“Of losing.”

“Pretty girl, I don’t lose.”

Yeah, we’ll see about that. 

“And you’d swing a lot harder if you arched your back just a little.”

"How so?” you retorted, your tone teasing.

Rafe stepped up behind you, his presence suddenly much closer than before. His large hands gently adjusted your posture, touch gentle yet firm. 

"Like this," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear as he guided you through the motion.

The warmth of his palms seeped through the fabric of your shirt, sending a wave of tingles across your skin. His fingers rested lightly against your sides, the pressure just enough to provide guidance without feeling intrusive. You tried to focus on his instructions, on the proper form and technique, but it was so fucking hard with him standing so close.

Every subtle movement, every brush of his body against yours…goddamn. You bit your lip to stifle a gasp, unable to believe how good it felt to have him so close.

"Alright, let's work on that swing.”

 There was a confidence in his tone, a subtle reassurance that made you want to combust on the spot. The way his voice rose and fell with each word…it was difficult to do anything with the sensation of his touch sending your senses into overdrive.

You tilted your head slightly and threw out the question, "Like this?"

Before he could even answer, you couldn't resist the urge to push the boundaries a bit. So, you arched your back ever so subtly, pressing yourself back into him. It was a total spur-of-the-moment move. 

There was a beat of silence that felt like an eternity. And then, oh my god, you felt his hands tighten slightly on your waist.

“Just like that.”

But then he stepped back and you couldn't help but feel disappointment at the loss of his proximity. You gave yourself a mental shake and got back into the swing of things – pun totally intended.

Grabbing the club again, you were all set to take your next shot. With Rafe's tips fresh in your mind, you took a swing, putting everything you had into it. And would you believe it? The ball actually went where you wanted it to, landing way closer to the hole than you expected.

Rafe's reaction was priceless. His eyebrows shot up again, and there was this look in his eyes like, this time he was genuinely impressed.

Score one for you.

But you weren’t about to get cocky just yet. So, you gave him a smirk and threw down the gauntlet. 

“Funnily enough, I never lose either.”

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron au #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe fic #rafe cameron fluff #rafe angst #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe imagine #rafe x you #rafe x female!mc #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron x y/n

[sturn3]

i lowkey really got out of hand, girl... i'm sorry, i can re-do it if you'd like!!! (btw im not really sorry, im kinda proud of the smut i wrote) tw: not proofread cause im kinda lazy rn

matt's girlfriend was the sweetest angel anyone had ever met. always putting everyone's needs before her own. never wanting to disappoint anyone and she just had a very motherly nature, needing to take care of everyone around her.

so, that translated that she was a pathological people pleaser. taking up extra shifts at her work, always saying yes to her boss even though she didn't want to do something he suggested, giving her coworkers rides home, baking them the cookies she once brought to work and everyone continuesly asked for, giving rides to her coworkers and so much more.

her natural instinct of saying yes to everything to please everyone left her exhausted all the time. so, when she did have free time all she'd do is nap, that would be the case, of course, if no one of her friends called her to hang out or have her do some kind of chore. matt had finally had enough of missing his girlfriend so much and never having any time with her. and that's when he decided to intervene.

firstly, he decided to mix up her white laundry with a piece of red clothing, painting all of her formal clothes and cute lingerie, pink. you moved on and said, "That's fine, sweetie. everyone makes mistakes." matt had to work harder to pull out the beast he knew you were hiding.

secondly, he started messing up all of your orders. putting onion and peppers in every order, two vegetables you hated passionately.you did show a little more aggression towards that, but you picked the disgusting veggies off and made no deal about it.

thirdly, matt thought this was his best shot at getting out the worst version of you. you were currently enjoying a party at full swing, everyone was having fun and drinking. you were with your girlfriends a few feet away from where you had last left matt. what you had failed to realize yet was that matt had some added companion from the last time you looked over to him. a girl glued to his side. at that moment ,you didn't think you'd ever been angrier. matt tried to hide his smirk as he saw you stalking over to him with crossed arms over your chest. when you got there, you tapped the girl aggressively on her shoulder, causing her to turn around and give you a look as if you were the one interrupting something. she suddenly spoke, "what do you want?" she said as her big brown eyes bored over your figure,"for you to stop talking to my boyfriend." you said as you pushed her out of the way and grabbed matt by his hand.

you had to managed to get away from the crowded house party and inside his parked car."can you tell me why the fuck that bitch was on you like that? you fucking bored of me or something?" you said as you slapped down his neck, matt couldn't help but smile wickedly. "maybe." he replied testing you even more, he knew he was playing with fire. "maybe, huh?? i'll fucking show you how boring i am, matt. get in the back and strip." he knew not to piss you off more so that's what he did. finally, you climed to the backseat right after he had obeyed and done everything you had asked him to.

"so, you think you're funny, matt, yeah? you think i'm such a people pleasure who would let you fuck some random dumb whore?" oh my god, did he love seeing this side of you. he made a mental note to piss you more often. he was getting a bit too excited while you were sat on top of his lap and quite literally could feel his dick stood up against your thigh. "no, no that's not what i was trying to do. i love you, baby." you laughed bitterly at that, grabbing him by his face and pulling his lips close enough to yours, touching but never kissing, "well, i think you deserve a lesson, baby." you said mocking him. so you got to work. you were currently on your knees on the floor of his car, leaving kisses on the length of his dick and occasional "kitten" licks on his tip. taking your sweet time teasing him and making it more painful each moment you passed without doing anything further. the growns you'd hear of him, making your core drip to the carpet of his car, due to your lack of underwear. whenever he'd to push your head so you could take him further into your mouth, you'd shake your head and shot him a disapproving look and he'd quickly let go. after a while of teasing him, you decided to fully take him in your mouth. he almost came when your warm mouth came into contact with his dick. your movements slow and steady. keeping him guessing your next movement. he knew not to try you, either. but when you felt his dick twitch in your mouth, you decided it was time to let go. you had brought him to such point of overstimulation and overwhelm that he could feel tears spill from his eyes. sat perched up on his lap with your legs spread, your skirt so shirt, giving him a view of your pantie-less pussy, he wanted to cry. so, when you finally leaned in to kiss him, he sighed in relief. your lips moving so hungrily against each other, his kiss so bruising. you could feel his hands grab the bottom of your tight crop top and pull it off your head. hands immediately going to grab at your breasts, meanwhile kissing and sucking your collarbones. then, he went down to suck your nipples, paying equal attention to both of them, his hands dropping to play with you clit. your pornographic moans filling the silence of his car. when you pulled his hands away to replace them with his dick he was gone for. he came almost immediately, as expected. but that didn't stop you. you weren't gonna stop if you didn't get to cum. so you eagerly moved on his dick trying to reach your high. your breasts jumping up and down on his face, a sight he wishes he could see every waking second of his life. that fueled him to thrust up inside you, not being able to resist but play with your tits once more. kissing and sucking. "you're so perfect, baby. no one could compare to you, my love." he said as he pulled from your tits and looking up at you with a lust filled gaze. both of you came to a high eventually. completely spent from your actions. "you love this side of me, don't you?" you accused matt, he couldn't help but let out the biggest smile "mhm yeah really turns me on how crazy you can get.", "oh, is that so?" "yes, i love my sweet kind girlfriend but baby you need to let out more the insane girl only i get to see."

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader

[lovings4turn]

just an add on to the oscar anon ask from yesterday

he'd dial the mocking up another 10x if you're so fucked out you're practically dizzy and have shaky legs + are responding to his little snarky questions/comments with almost nonsense because it was so good

okay i'm done i need to go take some deep breaths 😩

YOU GUYS WANT ME DEAD IM CONVINCED— cause trust it gets him so cocky oh my god …

he notices you’re absolutely fucked out underneath him ,, unable to really say anything apart from producing little noises every time he thrusts up into you ,, and he finds it so hot . looks down at you with a little half smirk like “aw, sweetheart. y’can’t even talk it’s that good hm?” and when you only whine in response , he’s chuckling and shaking his head teasingly . “don’t worry, ‘ve got you. just lie there and look pretty for me.”

#୭ 🧷 ✧˚. becca's musings #oscar piastri #oscar piastri smut

[morphogenetic]

raging loop is on sale on steam again so I'm going to give my propaganda about it since I've done it a lot on twt but I don't think tumblr was ever properly subjected to it. So.

-it's an 8/10 at best but WHAT an 8/10 it is

-FULL of insane people. no one in this game is normal and I'm including the 3 year old when I say that

-haruaki is still my favorite vn protagonist ever. he's 999 junpei if you made him 100x worse. im going to kiss him and then punch him down the stairs

-incredible theming about cycles of abuse and isolation and the purpose of folk religions that I can't get into without spoiling the whole fucking thing but Guys Just Fucking Trust Me

-it has a ng+ (in a visual novel??? its more likely than you think). that answers basically every "hey what happened there" that you might have after playing the game. including things you didn't even know you wanted answered. granted that includes some things that should have already been in the game but YOU KNOW. IT MOSTLY SLAPS.

-haruaki is there. i know I said this already but . the protagonist of all time

play raging loop. it needs a content warning for almost everything under the sun but. please. pl

#channeling my current fixation on dgs into rloop propoganda. You know how it is. #junpei.txt #haruaki (points at my profile picture) i like him a normal amount #raging loop #worlds biggest shooter for an objectively 8/10 game

[welcometogrouchland]

i was gonna make a whole seperate post about how context and art seems to imply that the ex boyfriend that got stephanie pregnant was at least 18, if not older, when she was 16/15, which is kinda squicky (i mean not if she's 16 really, but 15 yes) but in my journeys on the Stephanie Brown wiki (real and delightful thing that exists) i discovered the batman chronicles #22 where her UNCLE HITS ON HER???? i think that's what we're meant to get from it anyway the dialogue is subtle (the art is not imo). AND I. WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. STEPHANIE YOU CAN START AS MANY GANG WARS AS YOU WANT WITH YOUR LIFE THE WAY IT IS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

#ramblings of a lunatic #dc comics #stephanie brown #SORRY AND COUPLED WITH ROBIN 1993 ISSUE 111 WHERE IT'S REVEALED HER DAD'S FRIEND TRIED TO ASSAULT HER WHEN SHE WAS A KID #STEPHANIE BABY IM SO SORRY YOUR LIFE IS LIKE THIS #god no wonder she was so insane about tim. simultaneously loving him and being paranoid he was gonna cheat or something #i mean a) he skirted close to it at times very early on in his robin run which is. weird to say the least. rip tim sorry they did that to u #but also b) every man in her life treats her like THIS (guy who got her pregnant also abandoned her) so yeah #no wonder she expects the worst from tim but also clings to him like glue. bc he hasnt done any of those things (yet. to stephs knowledge) #it's super unfair on tim but also ohhhhh my god. oh my god her life is awful her life is so awful #i know a lot of ppl resent bg 2009 for not going into how awful her life is and there's merit to that criticism #but also the book was explicitly trying to give her a fucking break from the hardship #and after reading this. i can get behind it. i could before too but doubly now #i need. so many hurt/comfort fics about stephs history with shitty guys. so badly

[skitskatdacat63]

Hello guys!!!!! Aforementioned project is finally finished 🫠 It was meant to be just a simple weekend project, and ended up being 30+ hours over the period of like four days. I don't think I'm an actual normal human anymore. This is the project that caused everyone in my life to question my mental and physical wellbeing and health. But I'm super excited to share this all of you!!!! Please enjoy!!!! Even if you don't like vettonso, I hope this is still interesting????

If you make any, please reblog this or tag me in it! I'm excited to see what other people, other than just me suffering alone in my bedroom, make out of this!!! <3

#jesus christ i cant believe i actually made this 😭😭 #originally earlier last week i was like ahhh i wanna draw more of them in different eras(like the timeswap au) #and then randomly wanted to draw every single racesuit(nightmare) #and then im like WAIT I CAN MAKE A PICREW OUT OF THIS #no joke when i say i dont think i was a human this weekend #it was truly: eat. sleep. draw. eat. draw. sleep. draw. eat. draw. draw. sleep. #the screentime count on my ipad is soooooo fucking bad im ashamed dhfjfkkg #i dont think picrews are meant to be made in the span of a weekend #*weakly* i did it~ #again as i said in the description. please request if you want anything added!!! #i dont know if ill get to it immediately bcs i just spent 30+ hours psychologically torturing myself #i actually feel so ill JSJFKGLGLG but im happy w it and i wouldnt have gone back and changed any of the process #tho the evolution of 'im having so much fun' to groaning every time i opened up my ipad again was so funny #thank you so much to suzuki i could have never have done this without your support and encouragement 🥹🥹 #hoping this picrew works as a blood sacrifice to the good health and wellbeing of the amr24. the car that is launching today! #also istg i am going to dm shill and self reblog this with no shame. it is my magnum opus(as of now) #now i am going to sleep and not touch my ipad for a while djfkkglg #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.art. #vettonso #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

[baeshijima]

it is now officially the 25th which means...

merry christmas everyone !!! regardless of whether u celebrate or not, i hope u all have a lovely day with whoever u spend it with or with urself <33

#sophie's idle chatter #this is scheduled so im HOPING it posts at 12 am.... prays.... #i havent been super active in the past month or two bc life is kicking my ass (<- has said this countless times already but its still true) #also !! i see asks and ill try and answer them when i actually have the time and energy 😭 ik i say this a lot but ive been drained good god #(not so) mini life updates : #the new lovebrush chronicles main story update has made me weep so much... ive done both clarence and ayns routes and.... #my god.... this story is darker and honestly im loving it AND i love how they did the chara roles in this world (alkaid... ourgh...) #my tear glands arent tho bc ayn ending 3.... what the fuck was that i couldnt sleep after doing that ending??? ITS WAS SO SAD AND FOR WHATF #currently having to wait until the 27th so i can do lars route 😔 #the recent ep of apothecary diaries.... ourgh my heart.... jinshi and maomao beloveds :(( #oh !! and ive gotten back into my ace of diamonds/daiya no ace phase and have been rewatching the series... #sobbing chris and yuki and miyuki my beloveds.... kissing ur foreheads and holding u gently..... #the way i got back into it bc im catching up on s2 of a clean sweep (a korean baseball variety show that i love with all my heart ;w;) #my mum is a traitor tho bc she watched every new ep that came out on tuesdays while i was in uni 🧍‍♀️ so now im catching up on the 30 eps #on my own 🧍‍♀️ #OMG AND ALSO DR STONE S3??? WHY WAS I NOT NOTIFIED THAT PART 1 CAME OUT MONTHS AGO AND PART 2 WAS MORE RECENT??? #i havent been doing that much writing recently tho bc the fingers wont type but the brain is exploding with ideas i cannot handle this #i do want to get back to the haitham sxf series tho.... and also my oc various x reader series....... #tbh ive been contemplating abt publishing the haitham series on ao3 once i write more chapters before publishing them #idk i feel like the series would be nice to have on ao3 as well as tumblr JHDG #thats abt it i think? #anywho if u read this far then know i am giving u a warm cookie as a condolence prize for getting through this life dump <33 #ill leave it off here but i hope u all have a lovely day !! mwah mwah merry chrysler everyone 🎄🫶 #queue... ueueue

[nnthyperfixation]

So some of my thoughts on the uhhh infamous Jericho and Lancelot thingy

I hate it. I absolutely hate it, along with like 99% of the fandom, which is plausible and understandable. But I don't hate it becaus it's "pedobait" or something like that, for the narrative clearly does NOT condone her actions.

First and foremost, she's treated seriously as traitor and enemy. Obviously because she has sided with Camelot, but we can still say that it means her motive aka her "feelings" for Lancelot isn't shown in a good light enough to justify her betrayal.

Her falling for Lancelot is NOT normalized. When speaking of her relationship with Lancelot, everyone immediately thinks of that of a mentor-student and older sister/younger brother, that means it is considered totally not normal for Jericho to fall in love with a kid like Lancelot. The phrases "family", "master", "sister" and the likes are used repeatedly to highlighted the contrast between her actual feelings for Lancelot how she should feel towards him.

It is clear that Jericho also expresses shame about that, as shown when she cut Guila off. She herself said that it was disgusting, and she ran away because she knew common sense and that "love" of her was inappropriate.

In conclusion, her inappropriate feelings are not condoned, she is shown under a bad light, and treated as an enemy. If you feel disgust reading this, then that is GOOD, because you are supposed to do that, the narrative wants you to be disgusted by this.

But then why do I hate it? Because it did Jericho so so so dirty.

Why must she fall for Lancelot? Her hopelessly gushing over Ban was not enough? Why must she be the pedophilic villain, fooled by Arthur and betray her comrades for a fictional world he promised her?

I used to like her so much! She's funny to read, she's compassionate, she also has flaws and that's what fleshes her out as a human. Her character arc was basically completed in 7DS: She got over her crush for Ban, kind of stopped arguing pointlessly with her brother (because he uhhh died), awoke to her magic, and with Gustav's death she could then see Ban as her brother figure just like how he saw her as his little sister. It was perfect.

There's literally no reason for Jericho to become like this. It's just so fucking sad.

The best thing we can hope for right now is that Arthur probably brainwashed her into thinking she loved Lancelot romantically so she could become his pawn. Who knows what kind of fuckery he could pull with that chaos magic of his.

#jericho nnt #lancelot 4kota #nanatsu no taizai #seven deadly sins #7ds #four knights of the apocalypse #4kota #she got done sooooo dirty #someone had said this before but i'd actually like it if she sided with arthur for her brother gustav? #like arthur promised her to revive him or sth #instead of... this #i will be sticking to the 'arthur brainwashed jericho' theory from now on #as far as im concerned the brainwash trope has been used like a million times by nakaba #there's nothing saying that he wouldn't use it now #when every single character including jericho herself finds this gross as fuck and shocking as hell #in a “i cannot believe this how could someone like YOU do this” way

[pepprs]

ok. moving out update. today i:

talked to my beloved ex supervisor / mentor (<- SCARY!!!!!) to ask her about her experiences living by herself esp as a short woman (which is not a big deal except for how it is + how my parents think it is) and get her advice abt how to navigate that experience psychologically and practically. i asked her if we could talk abt this very impulsively on thursday after not having the courage to do it for almost a year btw (<- BRAVE!!!!!!!!) and i was still too scared / embarrassed to ask her some stuff abt safety / self defense lol but it mostly went really well!

started making a budget and determined that a) i may be getting overpaid somehow (😳) b) i may be getting double or even triple charged for my health and life insurance (😒) so now i need to call hr on monday and figure all of that out. and also c) i suck at math but we knew that. but i forced myself to figure out what i did wrong so that’s an achievement

made my first ever student loan payment 😀🔫

booked a tour of one apartment and attempted to book a tour of another (the same place i was looking at in may) but their website was glitching out and then they didn’t answer when i called to schedule it over the phone which. hm. 😒 but yeah the tour(s) will happen mid week next week and im going to ride the shuttle to the apartment complex(es) and back to campus to see what that’s like too!

posted on local subr*ddit asking for recommendations for those two apartments + other places in the area. haven’t gotten anything back bc i just made the post but 😎👍

read a bunch of old journal entries from 2021 to remind myself of what it was like to move onto campus and how i pushed through my family’s hurt and disapproval to live the way i needed to. haven’t finished reading it all yet but i will tomorrow (while also doing my stupid homework 🙄)

#purrs #i really hope im not being overpaid lol. because if i am being overpaid that means i can’t afford to move out 😍 but my paystubs #are saying thats how much im making every week and it is… significantly more then im supposed to be making which is absolutely not a bad #thing i just don’t understand why it’s happening + want to make sure it’s supposed to be happening so that i don’t depend on an error that #would devastate me when remedied yk. but yeah. also i haven’t factored car stuff into any of this yet sooooo erm. we’ll see what happens #anyways uhm this is kind of crazy like. i am really making a concerted effort to try to move out. SOON. and my family doesn’t know. #chuckles im in danger but also….. tess pepprs epic girlboss redemption arc i think. i am doing big scary things and i can do them. fuck yeah #like. i don’t have to live like this anymore. i can change it TODAY. i have that power. i have done my time. i’m ready to fly and no one can #stop me. i will not be held back anymore. i’m going to live the life of my wildest dreams and i’m on the brink of beginning it.

[gaminegay]

it is so insanely frustrating for me to be the only person working who has an ounce of Disaster Thinking because it means I'm the only person who says "hey, this has a possibility of not going well, we should be ready for that" and get dismissed out of hand because I'm thinking too hard about things. And then that eventuality HAPPENS and everyone's like oh no how unfortunate. Yeah if only someone saw that coming and proposed a solution beforehand.

#alda rambling #Ok yeah I am riddled with the anxieties and a lot of the time I AM thinking way too hard. #But not at work! And also Im logical! We are working with PEOPLE I feel like its okay to be extra cautious- #-when things going wrong means people feel bad and potentially we have to send in a notice #Also boss I respect you but you're in the office #You do not have the same experience as the people who work the actual job all day every week. #So just fffffffucking listen to me. #'Hey this means i wont be able to step out unless someone else covers me.' 'Its NOT that big of a DEAL-' #I KNOW ITS NOT IM LITERALLY JUST SAYING. WE TALKED ABOUT INFORMATION SHARING IN THE MEETING I AM JUST FUCKING SAYING IT. #Ok I'm done. God damn. Mondays am I right

[sapphroditewrites]

workin on a little gift for the holidays for y'all bc i'm so damn slow with the affair au (which i've weirdly started writing backwards? it's funny how that helps sometimes, but it's helped a lot)

it's not gonna be super polished and spit-shined like i usually try for, but it's something i was hoping to get around to every year, if that doesn't spoil the surprise lol

#it'll def be shorter than usual but then again #every time i say that it's never fucking short so i dont even know why im trying to speak that into existence #it's like i literally cannot shut up even when writing amazing it's a real talent that i have #plus im also trying to finish my hawkeye cracked video so i at least pushed one out this year #LMAO #goddamn well hopefully now that i'm moved out #i can save up for a beefy PC with better processing power for editing #and better storage #bc lemme tell ya an ipad is not great #and i need my mac memory for..... ok fine the sims dont judge me please i have an addiction #which is impressive of me to maintain bc whenever i buy an expansion pack #fucking TD locks my card and i have to call to confirm the purchase #do you have any idea #how humiliating that has been #literally for over a decade #even with the sims 3 #they just. constantly have done that #and i have constantly had to admit that yes #yes i am doing that. yes again. yes it's that much. yeah but this time it has cute hair cuts i like. #or yeah it's tiny home living . how do i explain that like a normal person. i talked w an agent abt the chickens for five minutes.

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍 #but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation. #which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what) #anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴 #i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.) #anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡 #but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦 #cheers to being fools universe

[hella1975]

yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health

#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit #which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/ #and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it #so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly #i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does #which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it - #is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭 #like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things #im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them #like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time #whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down #and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO #so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am #and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway #and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like #and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl. #like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER #and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just #her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up? #me: why do you need a watch for that? #her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover #me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists #THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH #ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done #latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up #i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house #thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth #godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type #i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community #hella goes home