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#when is season 2 i've been waiting for 4 years
helen-with-an-a · 13 days
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The object that stood in the way of a World Cup
Hi. So this is going to be a 2 part (maybe 3 part) story that I've had floating in my head for a while now.
It's angsty - I do want it to end with a fluffy end, but it's getting a little too long to be 1 thing ahahaha. Anyways.
Ona Batlle x Reader
TW: Angst, no direct mention of bad mental health, but it's clear R ain't ok.
Word count: 3.3k
Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Epilogue
Flashbacks are written in Italics; for anyone not aware of the British school system GCSEs you take at 16 (you have 3 or 4 choice subjects and 5 or 6 compulsory subjects) and A-levels you take at 18 (you choose 3 or 4 subjects)
Description: R sees Ona again for the first time since their breakup
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This is what you had been waiting for. All summer. All year. Hell, probably all your life. The World Cup Final. And the thought absolutely terrified you.
Your first thought after the final whistle wasn’t one of joy or happiness. You weren’t elated like Lessi or Tooney who barrelled into you and squeezed you so tight it hurt. You weren’t jumping for joy like Gee, Kiera and Lucy who manhandled you into the middle of their huddle. You weren’t screaming so loud your voice went hoarse like Hempo and Es. You weren’t standing in disbelief like Mearps and Millie.
Your first thought was of your ex- girlfriend, friend-with-benefits, situationship, Ona. Your first thought was of Ona. Spain had won against Sweden yesterday. And now you had won against Australia. The last time you had seen her was not a fun experience for you. Screaming. Tears. Spiteful words she didn’t mean. But that was the last time you spoke to her. It had been a long 8 months without her.
You weren’t quite sure what you were to each other when you were both at United. You had met on her first day. You were meant to be her buddy. The management had asked around during pre-season if anyone spoke any Spanish. You had done it at A-level, so you stuck your hand up. Barcelona was The Dream for you, so you had tailored your studies at school as much as you could to help you achieve it – taking Spanish at GCSE and A-level and continuing to watch Spanish shows and reading books to help you maintain it. You weren’t fluent but you knew enough that it would help Ona feel more comfortable. And you clearly had.
After winning the first derby of the season, the team had gone for drinks. Alcohol flowed, inhibitions were lost, and boundaries were blurred as Ona ended up in your bed. You had thought it would be a one-time thing. A drunken mistake that wasn’t much of a mistake to you. And it was … until it wasn’t. The next time it happened was at your birthday. And then her birthday. And then the end of the season. And then alcohol wasn’t a factor in taking you both to bed. She was suddenly all around you. Her jumpers were in your wardrobe. Her football boots were by the door. Her stuff was in the shower. Her snacks were in the cupboard. You had never spoken about what you were, but you drove her to training, she cooked you her mother's dishes, you snuggled into her side when watch your show, she slept in your bed every night.
And then it all came crashing down.
November 2022
You knew you needed to tell her as soon as possible. You wanted to tell her the news that had you pouncing on her the moment she stepped through the door. You were happy and giddy and so, so excited. You hadn’t thought that she wouldn’t be all of those things for you. You had made no secret that Barcelona was your dream. Everyone know that if Barcelona came knocking you would be gone without a doubt in your mind. You had received a phone call from your manager that afternoon.
“Hey, Y/N. Are you free to talk? There’s an offer for you.” Paul said down the phone. He sounded composed but happy, it intrigued you.
“Yeh, I’m free. What’s the offer? It’s mid-season though and I’m out of contract in the summer, why are they wanting to talk now?” You were questioning but not closed off. You knew joining a team mid-season would be hard but not impossible.
“Well… it’s Barca. They’ve but in an offer for you.” You were in complete shock. Barca wanted you. You were going to play for Barcelona. That’s all you’ve ever wanted. You screamed. It was the only thing you could think of. “I’ll take that as a yes, then?” Paul laughed. He knew Barca was the dream. He’d already written up the acceptance email.
“Oh my god! Of course it’s a bloody yes. I’m gonna play for Barcelona” You shouted.
“They want you to sign on the first day of the January signing window. It’ll be announced just after El Clásico. Is that ok with you? It gives you a couple of months to get everything sorted. And since United haven’t played in the Champions League, you aren’t cup tied or anything.”
You were floating on a cloud of happiness when the door clicked open. Ona was back from having a ‘Spanish Day’ with all the Spaniards living in Manchester. She had barely made it into the living room when you jumped her. Lips trailing everywhere you could reach. She laughed that gorgeous sound as you shoved her gently to the bedroom, her coat slipping off as you went.
You lay with your head against the pillows, hair fanned out to the side. You were sweaty and out of breath in the best way. Ona collapsed down next to you, her arms quickly wrapping around your waist.
“I had a phone call today.” You said nonchalantly. “From Paul,” you added as you tucked the duvet around the both of you. “There’s been an offer for me in the January window”. She looked at you expectantly. “Oni, Voy a jugar para el Barcelona” you breathed out. She stiffened in your arms.
“Qué quieres decir, amor?” She choked out after a few moments of silence, sitting up and moving away from you. You knew she wanted to go back to Spain, go back to Barca … but this was not the reaction you were expecting.
“Paul phoned. They’ve put in an offer for me for the January window. I’m signing on the 1st with it being announced after El Clásico.” You stated the facts. The simple outline of the facts that made you feel so, so happy.
“Are we not going to talk about this? You can’t leave in the middle of the season. United need you. We need you…. I need you, amor” She started off loud, angry, and upset, but by the end of the sentence it was barely a whisper. You had never seen Ona so… you could describe the look on her face. The way her body seemed slumped over in sadness.
“Hey… hey. No, don’t think like that. I’m here until the break. We’ve got a month or so. Everything will be fine, Oni. You are well aware that Barcelona is only a few hours on a plane. Everything will be fine!” She seemed to accept your comforting words.
But everything wasn’t fine.
There was a shift in the relationship arrangement whatever this was. Fewer jumpers were in your wardrobe. When she ran out of body wash, she didn’t replace it with a new bottle. Less of her snacks were added to your weekly shopping list. You still drove her to training but her music no longer blasted out of the speakers. She still cooked for you but there were never leftovers for the next day. She still slept in your bed, but she held onto your arm rather than curling up on top of you.
And then it was the Christmas break. Your last day at United. You weren’t sad to be leaving the club. But you were sad to be leaving the people. Of course, you knew you would see some of them during the international windows and whenever you came home but it wasn’t the same. Once again, the alcohol in your system led you to be on top of Ona. The first time you had done anything since you told her about your move. Something felt different this time. She was leaving to go back to Spain the following morning and you wouldn’t see her again before you left.
You woke up with a slight headache, but that wasn’t what pulled you from your sleep. Catalan came drifting across the flat. Ona was awake, and by the temperature of the bed, she had been for a while.
“Hey. Qué ocurre? Qué pasó?” She was pacing the living room, muttering away to herself. “Oni? Hey, estás bien?” She wasn’t paying any attention to you. “Ona”. Your hands rested on her shoulders, halting her scattered movements.
“Don’t touch me,” she snapped. You jumped at the harshness in her tone.
“What’s wrong, Oni?” You asked again.
“I can’t do this.” She answered back. Her tone just as sharp. You knew what she was implying but you hoped you were wrong.
“This being…?” You trailed off.
“Us.” She stated simply. You waited a heartbeat, hoping she would realise you would do anything for her.
“It’s not like there was really an ‘us’ to begin with!” She spat at you. You felt your heart begin to splitter into a thousand pieces. Ona was looking for an argument. She was terrified you’d leave her behind at Manchester without a second look. Ona was hopelessly in love with you. She had been for some time. It wasn’t fast or scary. It was subtle and peaceful. One day she had woken up next to you and she knew it was you. It would always be you. But she didn’t know if she was yours. You were never a tactile person but with Ona, you always had some form of body contact. She thought it little of it. She was Spanish after all, touching your friends was fairly normal – she didn’t realise that you didn’t hug Lessi or Tooney unless they forced themselves at you. She didn’t consider how you were quick to shake off Mary or Maya’s arms. To you, and to everyone else but Ona, it was really obvious that she was yours and you were hers. You just hadn’t had the ‘what are we’ conversation yet. She was also jealous. Barca wanted you. Her home wanted you. Not her. Never mind that her agents had mentioned that Barca wanted her in the summer when she was out of contract. Barca offered money for you. Barca wanted you so badly that they offered a record-breaking fee in the middle of a season. She was scared, angry and jealous. How was she to know that you rarely argued back with someone? How was she to know that your easy-going nature was a result of growing up in a household where shouting was the norm? How was she to know that your mild-mannered temperament was due to your habit of placating your family to stop the noise? You had never told her that particular part of your childhood.
So, she hit you where she knew it would hurt the most, hoping to get a reaction out of you. “Eres sólo un polvo rápido. Fácil. Nada mas para mi. Something to pass the time. I don’t even know why Barca want you, honestly. No eres lo suficientemente buena.” She waited for a reply, but none came. She waited for you to lash out at her. Snap. Do something to make this … breakup? … easier. She wanted to be able to hate you in the same way she was trying to make you hate her. She did the second most painful thing she could think of. She spun on her heels and marched out the door.
You knew she was lying… you think. You hoped she was lying. You knew Ona could get mean when she was upset or scared. You had witnessed it after a particularly bad game – her harshness, her biting words. But she had said those words with such conviction, and you couldn’t think of a reason as to why she would be scared or upset. It had been a wonderful night. Laughter, soft touches exactly where you needed them, and love. You could feel the love between the two of you. Every lingering touch, every passionate kiss, ever whispered word. Everything was done with love, for the pure enjoyment of the other. Everything was perfect.
You're just a quick fuck. Easy. Nothing more to me. Was that all you were to her? Did the late nights mean nothing to her? Did the secrets you whispered into her hair mean anything? Were all the promises she made you lies? Was everything she ever said to you just so she could get her regular fix? Did she really think you weren’t good enough for Barcelona? She knew her opinion of you and your football meant a lot to you. Was every reassurance that you were good enough for the starting XI mean nothing? Was every calming word when you were waiting for Sarina’s call false? Did she genuinely think that you weren’t good enough?
You were in a daze all throughout Christmas. Seeing you family was fun, but you couldn’t shake the clouds in your mind. When you met with the some of the Lionesses in Manchester in between Christmas and New Year, everyone could tell something was wrong. You were normally on the quieter side, preferring to listen rather than speak. But you didn’t really do either. You were just there; not contributing to conversations or laughing along like you usually would. Something was wrong but no one knew what. And then you were on a plane, staring out the window as you watched Spain get closer and closer. You had never been to Spain outside of camps and tournaments. Ona had promised to take you there, to show you Barcelona, to show you her home. But you had to make it your home without her by your side.
And now you were about to play Ona in a World Cup Final.
Lucy knew something was eating at you in the days leading up to the final. She had phoned Leah to come to the hotel to cheer the whole team up and boost morale. It had worked for the other girls but not you. Kiera phoned Alexia as well. But the comforting words had washed straight over you. Everyone thought that it was because you were facing the Barca girls. No one in Barcelona knew of your history with Ona beyond that of teammates at United. If she was ever in town for a quick break, you always, miraculously, had other plans you couldn’t get out of. They didn’t know you lied and hid yourself away in your flat – moving your car a few streets along and leaving your phone off so the location couldn’t be tracked. You’d even gone so far as to phone up Hayley Raso in Madrid to ask if you could come visit her when you found out Ona would be at a team bonding event due to her free schedule coinciding with game-less weekend for Barca. Hayley was a little confused, but you were close enough friends from your time at Manchester that she didn’t question it.
Ona’s words had stayed with you. Every time you failed gave the ball away, passed a too-wide cross, or missed a shot on goal, her words echoed in your mind. You’re not good enough. The venom lacing her tone permeated your brain. You pushed yourself hard then ever before. You went for runs before training to improve your stamina, stayed late to practice free kicks and penalties. You lifted heavier weights and broke your old PBs in the gym. You were eating correctly and always seemed cheery enough, so no one really questioned it. Slowly the muscles started to grow. You were always on the stockier side, the muscles you had slowly built up helping you with your defence. But now you were really built. Your muscles were obvious, even under looser fitting clothes. Not that you really wore loose clothes anymore. At first, it was because everyone on the team, everyone in Barcelona, looked good. Their styles were just rubbing off on you, you had justified to yourself. But eventually, the tops became tighter and shorter. The trousers became low rise, and the hemlines became higher. The Barca Glow Up (and Lotte had coined it) was definitely real. You told yourself it was for you. The clothes you were wearing, the muscles you liked to show off, was because you were proud of them. Which you were. But you couldn’t lie to yourself for long. The Barca media frequently posted game day fits. You knew Ona followed Barca. You knew you would appear on her timeline. Yes, you were a little more tired than you used to be. But that was fine. You didn’t tell anyone the words that rattled around in your head when you were alone. You were fine. Everything was fine. You were playing the best football of your life at Barca. You were a key part of their defence, making your way into the Starting XI quickly and constantly proving your worth in every game.
You were fine. Ok, you hadn’t had sex, or even looked at another girl, since Ona arriving in Spain. Ok, you had to have some form of noise constantly in the background because every time there was silence your thoughts drifted back to Manchester. Ok, you couldn’t be around Ingrid and Mapi or anyone else in a relationship for too long otherwise you might start crying. Ok, you were still very much broken hearted. But you were fine. You weren’t necessarily good, but you were fine
The morning of the final, you were quiet. But everyone was, even Tooney. The buzz of anticipation. The air of expectation. Everyone was doing their own pre-match routine. You had followed yours to the letter. A gentle walk alone this morning followed by breakfast. A full bottle of water on the coach to the stadium. Pitch inspection with Less and Tooney. Warm up with Lucy and Millie. Hair slicked into a bun. A spray of perfume and into the tunnel to walk out.
She was standing just a head of you. Perfect. Breath-taking. Even with her game face on and her concentration as Irene spoke to her, you could see the usual kindness in her features. Those soft warm eyes that you had been lost in far too often. The freckles that littered her skin that you had traced and played dot-to-dot with as you laughed sleepless nights away. The braid that you used to tug on to get her attention before a match that always made her smile and break her focus. You knew you were still desperately in love with her. You shook your head. You couldn’t let her get to you. Not now. Your walls went back up as you pushed all thoughts from her mind. She wasn’t your Oni – even though you knew in your heart she would always be that to you –, she was the object that stood in your way of a World Cup. As Jess and Alex pulled your attention away from the Spanish players, you missed her looking at you.
She knew you had more muscle than before but seeing you in the flesh was something else. Your eyes that have the ability to truly look at a person, looked a little more tired than she was used to. The genuine smiled that was a defining feature for you was replaced with a hard line and a smirk every now and again. She thinks you have had a haircut since being in Barca – your bun wasn’t as big as it used to be in Manchester. She wanted nothing more than to trace her fingers gently over the new scar just above your eyebrow. She knew exactly how you got it. She watched every game of yours, live if she could – on repeat if she couldn’t. You had collided with a player during Chelsea Champions League match. She had been so terrified she almost picked up the phone to call you several times. She did play a little more brutally the next time she faced Chelsea. She had been carded after she left a particularly nasty tackle on the girl that had hurt you. She didn’t know that you also watched all of her games. She didn’t know that you also wanted to phone her after that match but was so scared of her rejection. But right now, you weren’t her Amor – even though you would always be that to her –, you were the object that stood in her way of a World Cup.
Part 2 will probably be out fairly quickly as a lot of it is already written but yeh
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taahko · 1 month
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I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before
oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long
ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv
but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec
for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:
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september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please
more talking points:
consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"
hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized
in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party
there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea
details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2
we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments
overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.
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haikirii · 6 months
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Paranormal Order Community Survival Guide (and other things you need to know for Saturday)
Ok, let's start. First of all, I've been in the Paranormal Order community since the first live season announcement. I've seen this community change so many times and I think it would be cool to warn a few things for those who are going to see Saturday's episode with the global creators.
Despite the recent problems - which have been translated here - the community is not complicated to deal with, you just need to know where to enter and where to stay to have a good experience. So, here are some tips.
1 - Watch the rpg live with the chat CLOSED.
The Paranormal Order live chat IS NOT the regular stream chat. This is one of the biggest tabletop RPG projects in Brazil and, because of this, it is very difficult to have 100% control of the chat.
Obviously, the moderators already have years of experience to deal with. The chat will be 100% in submode and only the Tuesday chat, which is when the episode replays for those who missed it on Saturday, will be open to everyone.
However, this does not prevent hate comments from happening in the chat, as many do not watch Cellbit regularly and just sub to talk in the chat/watch the episode without ads. It's no joke, the rpg chat is known for being a toxic chat that has made players cry in the middle of the session when it was still online.
2 - If you see any hate, ignore it or make a joke.
It's more of a personal recommendation. Even within the community, the essential thing is to ignore hate that has few likes or things like that so it doesn't spread OR turn into a copypasta.
Generally on Twitter it's easier to ignore, because you can just filter things and rarely does anyone post hate on the tag where we comment the live.
MAYBE hate can happen from outside the community, we have suffered a lot of hate for years because it is a "nerd thing" and/or it is a Cellbit's project, which receives a lot of hate here in Brazil and we suffered from hate for a long time. I don't know if it will happen in this episode since the community is much larger, but it's just a warning that it could happen.
But as the old saying goes in the fandom: talking bad about Order gets likes on Twitter.
3 - Some people who watch Ordem are unhappy.
Nothing really serious, but some people in the community don't like QSMP out of sheer annoyance with the project and are frustrated with Saturday's episode because they expected something from the main story - which they've already been warned won't happen until Enigma of Fear comes out.
Which brings us to the Discord situation that I mentioned at the beginning of the post. Just situating what is happening, ignore these people and support Cellbit, which is doing his best.
Paranormal Order is his life project, we all want to give as much support as possible despite these people who call themselves fans and seem to hate the project.
4 - General dates and stuffs.
It's an independent story from the main story and will be in English, so don't worry about needing to watch past seasons to understand because the basis will be explained in the episode.
The episode will happen live on Saturday, September 23rd at 6pm BRT. I saw some people asking and no, it's not a pre-recorded video being show in live, everything is 100% done on the spot.
If you missed the episode, a rerun will take place on Tuesday at the same time and the vod will be for subs only. However, you can still wait until it comes out Thursday on YouTube for free on the official channel.
On average, typical episodes last 4-5 hours. However, as it is a oneshot, it may last 6 hours but Cellbit always warns you in advance if the episode is too long.
The episodes have breaks for you to go to the bathroom or stretch your legs and for the players to rest a little.
The Order fandom does a LOT of live tweets at the time of the episode, the fun is seeing everyone commenting together so we use a # specific to each campaign. In this campaign, we will use #OPQ and you can also use it to post memes and fanarts.
When the episode starts, you will be notified on the official Twitter. But there are two things: IT'S ALWAYS DELAYED and THERE'S ALWAYS A TIMER. So don't worry about arriving at exactly 6pm BRT, you'll have a little time to prepare until the episode actually starts.
5 - We organize ourselves on Twitter.
The order fandom is very active on Twitter and always does dynamics with all profiles and we upload a sentence on the day of the episode to give hype. Even Wiki and some official Order players participate.
We are still deciding on the phrase we will upload to tts, so if you want to help, just keep an eye on the brazilians in the fandom. However, the pack has already been decided and if you want to participate in the fun. Here's what my profile looks like.
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I think this is the basis of what you need to know, maybe I'll reblog adding things later if I remember too much. The Ordem community is not a monster, but I'm giving you these tips so you can live in peace in it.
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ravenadottir · 4 months
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ok, i understand why fusebox is taking down the old app from a financial perspective, and with it the first three seasons, but if that's not the biggest shot in the foot idk what is.
there are so many people that start playing the stupid games this shitty ass company puts out there because of said seasons, so like... no. it's by far the most commented seasons in any discussions on reddit and it's still a winner when it comes to fics and headcanon posts on tumblr, like ????
i get that it hasn't been lucrative for them probably (?) but it's a stamp of what fusebox used to be and how it could improve... and that empty promise of remastering the seasons to bring it back?
no thanks, i know y'all are gonna kill some storylines like you have been doing for 3 years now, so don't bother. just take down the only seasons that are worth playing so we can just get the fuck out of here and concentrate our attention on the fics.
now, i tried playing seasons 4 and 5, couldn't go pass a few chapters because everything seemed so stupid e pointless. i was determined to get through season 5 (don't ask me what dumb title it has, i can't be bothered to remember) but like, i couldn't ???
it was so disengaging i would rather do a jakub route and cheat so i can get dumped by returning!islander than going back and trying again. i guess this is it for me regarding fusebox.
and since i'm on the subject, i have been feeling like that for a while, just waiting around for a season that is worth my time, and it hasn't happened yet. i'm over this shitty company and whatever they released after season 2, that's just it.
if you like what they did, and has been doing, good for you, i can exist on this corner absolutely hating everything and you can love it all, my problem is with the company not the people that find joy with the work they put out here (which apparently there's a bunch of evidence of AI and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest). well, that's it. that's all i have to say on the matter.
i've barely been here due to several personal life issues, and i fucking guarantee my personal life and the gossip i've been digging up from my family would make a far more entertaining game than whatever the fuck they're doing now.
i'm still gonna continue updating the fics though, and maybe eventually turn my inbox on again ?
but for now, i'm still going through a lot and time has been wasted on multiple problems in my personal life, maybe i'll expand on those on a different post because i do need to shout into the void about everything that has been happening.
this post is not nearly as articulated as it could be, but that's just me venting. anyway, carry on with your day.
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you are in love.
tom blyth social media au
pairings: tom blyth x reader
warnings: accused cheating
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*yninstagram has posted*
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tagged rachelzegler & tomblyth
liked by joshandresrivera, tomblyth, hunterschafer, rachelzegler and others
yninstagram as promised, here's some more bts pics for tbosas. massive thanks to suzanne collins for letting me be apart of your universe 💚
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rachelzegler not that photo of me 😭
↪️ yninstagram sorry babes 🫶🏻🫶🏻. forgive me?
↪️ rachelzegler always 🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️
tomblyth did me dirty with that photo when I know you took hundreds of nicer ones
↪️ yninstagram sorry not sorry, just giving the fans what they want 😘
hunterschafer it was so lovely to finally be in a project together ❤️
↪️ yninstagram here's to hoping there's more 🥂❤️
user is that y/n with tom in the 2nd pic?? they look awfully close
↪️ user back off and leave the cheating rumours alone. y/n confirmed that they were only friends during filming
↪️ user exactly!! leave them alone!! plus, they were probably just going over the script or something. it's not your business dude.
user these photos are everything
user everyone say thank you to y/n for listening to the fans and giving us more bts pics
user y/n stoppp, I can't fall in love with snow again
user can't decide if tom's hotter with blonde hair or brown
↪️ yninstagram I've been asking myself the same thing
↪️ user 😂 she's one of us!!!!
☆☆☆
*yninstagram has posted*
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tagged robertdowneyjr, sebastianstan, chrisevans, gwynethpaltrow, anthonymackie & marvelstudios
liked by zendaya, tomholland2013, jacobelordi, tomblyth and others
yninstagram happy 10 year anniversary to my marvel debut (and also CATWS). huge thanks to @/robertdowneyjr for being the best onscreen dad, let's be in another project together soon pls ❤️
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rachelzegler omg forgot that you were in the mcu!! iconic behaviour
↪️ yninstagram little me was really living the dream!!
tomblyth can't wait to see what the future of the mcu holds in store for you ❤️
↪️ yninstagram love you tom ❤️
↪️ user omg confirmed y/n return to the mcu??
↪️ user I hope so!! missed her character so much!!
zendaya happy 10 years to my favourite marvel character
↪️ tomholland2013 hey, what about me? :((
↪️ zendaya I said what I said 🤷🏻‍♀️
↪️ tomholland2013 no, but for real @/yninstagram, congrats on making it a whole decade in the mcu. it's awesome to be able to share a screen with you xx
↪️ yninstagram aww, thanks guys 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻. let's meet up next time I'm in town 💕💕
jacobelordi you used to be so cute. what happened? 😂
↪️ yninstagram shut up (said with love 🫶🏻)
user are you coming back to the mcu??
↪️ yninstagram you'll have to ask the marvel execs, sorry lovely. I wish I knew x
☆☆☆
*yninstagram has posted to her story*
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☆☆☆
*yninstagram has posted*
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tagged tomblyth
liked by zendaya, florencepugh, tomblyth, joshandresrivera and others
yninstagram award show season was a blast 🥂💜
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tomblyth stunning 😍😘
↪️ yninstagram no, you 😘x
rachelzegler obsessed with you 😍😍😍
↪️ yninstagram I expect nothing less 🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️❤️
joshandresrivera I wanna know what was said to make you pull that face in the 3rd photo
↪️ yninstagram probably someone bringing up that once again I wasn't nominated smh 😤
user mother is mothering 😍😍😍
user you were snubbed. you should've been nominated 😤
↪�� user for real!!!
↪️ user she defo deserves an award, but I don't think any of her projects last year (other than tbosas) was really award worthy. don't get me wrong, they were brilliant. but they weren't on the same level as the stuff that was nominated
↪️ user 100%
user you just know she's so fun to hang out with
↪️ user for real!! she emits such friendly energy
user what's the new project??
↪️ user wdym??
↪️ user she posted a story the other day with the caption "new project pending"
↪️ user it's probably stranger things season 5 tbh
☆☆☆
*yninstagram has posted*
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tagged greysabc
liked by tomblyth, rachelzegler, camillaluddington, jessicacapshaw, caterinascorsone, taylorswift and others
yninstagram shoutout to the stars (and my schedule) for aligning and allowing me to make my greys anatomy debut. thank you @/shondarhimes for letting me step through the doors of Grey Sloane Memorial hospital 💙
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tomblyth super proud of you ❤️❤️
↪️ yninstagram ❤️❤️
camillaluddington welcome to the family ❤️
↪️ yninstagram thanks for letting me join ❤️
rachelzegler watching you get your dream roles is the best thing in the world 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻. endlessly proud of you bby 💕💕💕
↪️ yninstagram stoppp, you're making me cry 😭💕💕
hunterschafer we better be having a watch party at your house
↪️ yninstagram of course!! ❤️
joshandresrivera iconic
taylorswift big fan of this news!! congrats lovely ❤️
↪️ yninstagram love you!!! ❤️❤️
jacobelordi how the hell did you manage to keep this a secret??
↪️ yninstagram it was a real struggle
zendaya insanely proud of you!! 💕
↪️ yninstagram 😘
user I hope you're in it for at least more than one episode
↪️ user same, tho I doubt she'll become a series regular
user omg!!!
user congrats!!!
user yes yes yes!!!
user ooh, who are you playing??
user this is so cool!!! love greys anatomy!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
parts 5 and 6 will probably be the last parts to this social media au, unless there's anything you guys want me to write for this series
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angelstate · 1 year
Text
You Shouldn't (PT. 1)
Pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader
Genre:, Angst, Fluff? (Not finished ending)
Warnings: low self-esteem, depression, negative and pessimistic mindset, mention of eating disorder, suicide attempt.
Please do not read if you're sensitive to those topics or if you're easily triggered by them.
Summary: You could no longer pretend to be happy, your boyfriend peter notice but you were too far gone into your own head.
Words:4.7k!
(sorry for being gone! I wasn't doing well mentally and i wrote this throughout that so this is super sad and maybe a little heavy to read)
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you were ok, you had to be, everything in your life was great, you were studying to become a psychiatrist just like you wanted, you had a loving boyfriend and you were writing a book about a tragic love story.
How could you not be happy? You had no reason to be unhappy but..you are.
you were so unhappy it was maddening, you couldn't eat or sleep because of how tired and suicidal you felt since the moment you woke up to the moment you would fell back asleep.
you tried to blame the final exams, because of course they were super stressful, but you have aced all of them. you tried to blame the pressure you felt about finish writing your book because of course that was super stressful too, but you had all the time you wanted to write it.
maybe it was the fact you went low contact with your parents because of how against they were about you studying psychiatry but you did that for your own good 2 years ago and you never regretted it.
maybe it was seasonal depression? it could have been it if it wasn't for the fact you have had clinical depression since you were 8 years old.
it was so infuriating. Because why, why right after you had finally put your life together you were drowning again in the ocean of depression you had fought so hard to get out of? It was like the universe wanted you to fail and fall deep into your feelings.
you knew the moment you stopped eating breakfast and dinner that you were spiraling back into your unhealthy cycle; your pride didn't let you pay attention to that though.
you held too much pride into the fact the you finally had control over your life to stop and accept you were going into your depression again.
maybe if you had gotten up one day and told your therapist that it had gotten bad again you would already been out of this horrible state.
instead you chose to fake it till you make it, stupid decision because even if you fake your not depressed that doesn't change the fact that you were. Being in denial about it was just going to harm you in the long run.
and it did. it harmed you so fucking much you stopped pretending you weren't depressed. What was even the point, nobody even noticed the first time you were depressed so they wouldn't the second time.
_______________
"you have to get up" peter said and looked at you.
you were laying on your bed, blankets covering you till your neck, hair messy and full of knots because you haven't brushed it in 3 days.
"i don't want to" you answered and closed your eyes pretending to sleep right in front of peter.
"you have to" peter pressed and sat in your desk chair.
"no i don't" you said, today you didn't have classes so you had no reason to get up.
"you do, when was the last time you ate something?" he asked and pointed at you with a look of worry in his face.
"i don't know, like 4 hours ago?" You lied and pressed your lips in a thin line.
"really? because I've been here for the last 8 hours so how didn't i saw you at the kitchen?" He Said with a tone of disbelief, questioned you.
"i had food here" you lied again.
"ok, then what did you eat?" Peter crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow waiting for you to answer, maybe this time with the truth.
"i ate a Snickers and a protein bar" you answered after 10 seconds of silence.
"where are the wrappers then?" He knew what to ask. You were cornered because what lie could you possibly say now.
"i don't know" you pouted and looked down.
"don't lie to me, flower. tell me, why have you not eaten?" peter said softly, worry dripping from his eyes and voice.
"i haven't been hungry" you answered.
"ok...are you hungry now?" he asked, ready to get up and bring anything you felt like eating.
"not really" you whispered and closed your eyes again, you felt so tired.
"are you ok flower?" peter stood up and walked towards you, sitting on the bed and moving the covers do he could see your face fully.
"yes, just tired" your voice was shaky, you were the furthest thing from ok.
"alright, then sleep, tomorrow ill pick you up so we can go eat breakfast at the new coffee shop" he said before giving you a little kiss on your forehead.
"good night, flower. I love you" peter whispered in your ear.
"bye pete. I love you too" you whispered back and let yourself fell back asleep.
________________
you pulled away from peter two weeks after he caught you lying about your eating habits.
you were ashamed and embarrassed. Not just for getting caught lying but because no matter how bad you felt for doing it, you still believed that stop eating wasn't a bad thing.
You were losing weight, you actually had lost 11lb in the span of 4 weeks. it's not like you needed to lose weight, you were underweight now.
But who didn't liked to be underweight? That meant you didn't have to worry it you gain weight because that meant you would enter into your perfect weight.
It was different with you, you had anorexia nervosa when you were a teenager. You punished your body by not eating everytime you weren't good at something.
you punished yourself a lot at the time, not because you weren't good but because your parents always told you that you could be better.
It didn't matter if you were good because you weren't the best.
now, 2 months have passed since you slowly pulled away from peter. You didn't cut him off or broke up, you talked to him, you spent time with him but you no longer could be by his side all the time.
you wanted to be left alone, in the dark of your room, in the hole you dig to hide your feelings. You just wanted to pretend you weren't in pain with no people around you to show you how obviously you were lying to yourself.
"can i have uhm...a water with strawberries toppings" you said.
"what size the drink?" the girl behind the register asked with a kind smile.
"a venti please" you answered.
"do you want ice in the drink?"
"yes."
"ok, it will be 2 dollars and 50 cents" the girl said and you gave her a 5 dollar bill.
after she gave you your change you sat down on one of the empty tables to wait for your drink.
you had a lot of things to do today so you forced yourself to get up early, brush your teeth, shower and brush your hair.
now all you needed was breakfast, what you just ordered was your breakfast.
you felt guilty about even coming to Starbucks and buying it.
you should have just brought a water bottle from your department but you didn't thought about it before you left.
you were on Instagram seeing your friends posts when suddenly peter called you, sighing you decided not to answer.
thirty seconds later he called again, you picked up this time. Maybe it was something important.
"hello?"
"hi, flower. how are you?"
"i'm great, what about you?"
"i'm good, what are you doing?"
"im at starbucks, uhm..eating breakfast"
"really? That's great. i called you because aunt may want you to come and have dinner with us today"
"today?"
"yeah, are you busy?"
"uhm, a little but i can make time"
"great! i can go pick you up at 7"
"you don't have to, I'll just go after i finish my errands"
"are you sure?"
"yeah, I'll be at your house at 7"
"ok, i love u"
"love u too"
"I'll see you later, flower"
"see you"
you hung up, your body already felt tired and drained. All the energy you had for the day was already gone after that phonecall.
when did putting effort in your relationship began to feel so tiring? why were you becoming such a shitty girlfriend.
you loved peter since you were 14, you became his friend and spend months of your life with peter by your side till he finally became your boyfriend and now you couldn't bring yourself to putting the effort even though you're mind was screaming at you to do so.
"i'm a shitty person" you whispered and walked out of Starbucks with your drink.
_____________
"why didn't you show up?" Peter was in your front door, face filled with frustration and anger you knew you had provoked.
"im sorry" you said, that all you could say to be honest. you weren't capable in going on a full rant about how suicidal you felt yesterday to the point you just went home without even finishing your errands and then fell asleep crying because of how tired you felt.
the thing about the depression is, you can't tell people why you're depressed. sometimes you don't know why. And when you do, you can't bring yourself to tell anyone. you didn't want for people to think you felt entitled to receive help.
"i knows you are, what i don't know is why you didn't show up" he said loudly, stepping inside of your apartment and closing the door so this conversation would be private.
"something i ate made me sick" you lied and hugged yourself, looking up you saw how peter face had a expression of disbelief.
you saw how his eyes scanned your figure, throwing daggers at the way your "skinny jeans" were baggy on your figure, how your shirt seem oversized and how your skin was pale and dull.
"don't lie" he finally answered and looked at you with worry, his voice still filled with frustration.
"im not lying" you weren't exactly lying, you did felt sick, you had thrown up but you didn't ate so no food made you sick.
"you are, i know you're not eating. There's something wrong and you're not being honest with me. I can help you if you don't talk to me" peter stretched his arms out, reaching out to you but waiting for you to walk into his arms.
"i don't need help" you took a few steps back until the back of your legs made contact with the couch.
"i know you need help, if this is like when we were in high school i can help you. I know how you just need to let me in" peter pressed and walked closer to you.
"this isn't like high school, pete. I'm not sick i don't need your help or any help at all." you lied.
you needed his help, your body and mind were screaming for it. for him to save you from drowning in this ocean of depression. to give you his hand so you can take it and see the sun again and felt nourished by the sun rays.
"don't do this, please." peter suddenly begged you.
"don't do what?" you asked unsure of what to do at the sudden change of mood in the room.
"don't shut me off again. I want to help you and be by your side, you can't give up on yourself. You can expect me to give up on you" peter whimpered at the last sentence, his eyes slowly began to form tears.
your heart broke, and your emotions began to explote in your mind, how sorry you felt for peter, for feeling sad about your unhealthy state and for how miserable being with you was making him be.
you needed to be comforted and yet you broke the boy in front of you to be point he needed it more than you at this moment.
you were a shitty girlfriend.
"in sorry, ok?" you whispered and closed the distance between peter and you before hugging him.
you were sorry, you were really really sorry about not showing up, about lying, about pulling away and not putting effort in the relationship.
You hated the fact that even feeling extremely sorry you couldn't bring yourself to speak to him about how it had gotten bad again and this time you really believed you wouldn't be able to get out.
"please don't push me away" peter whispered in your ear and hugged you back hiding his face on your neck, breathing in your smell and realizing how his frustration didn't left his body.
"i won't, your stuck with me forever" you answered but didn't what you said didn't felt true
of course you wouldn't push him away again, but 'forever'? would you really be here for him forever, alive? you weren't sure that was a promise you could keep. Sooner or later you would give up.
"forever" he whispered back.
____________
forever: adverb
meaning: for All future time; for always.
you shouldn't have used the word forever, not then and not now. In the ending of your suicide letter.
you shouldn't be promising to be stuck by his side forever in the after life or on all the other lives you'll have to live until you can finally rest.
you shouldn't be whispering to yourself forever now, promising yourself and eternal bed of rest.
you shouldn't be laying on your bathtub with your clothes on, filled to the brim with hit water, so hit that it's making your skin sting.
you shouldn't be eyeing the blade in your right hand like your past lover from another life, finally reunited after such a long wait to kiss again.
you shouldn't.
you shouldn't.
you shouldn't but you were.
you had love and fear tattooed on your eyes, your mouth tasting the bitterness of fake acceptance of the ending.
your hands shaking with excitement and fear; with anticipation and hesitation.
you shouldn't be doing this if half of your body is drowning on sorrow and hesitation but you were doing this.
it had been way too long, you used too much time to feel your feelings so now you were acting on them. your pain was acting his most desired fantasy.
you were screwed from the moment you picked up the red inked pen and wrote on that white sheet of paper that was laying on your desk, waiting to be used, waiting to be stained with your tears.
you wanted to pick up your phone and cry for help to your peter, tell him you were about to do something you shouldn't and to save you like the super hero he is.
but you couldn't, you couldn't, you couldn't.
you couldn't and it that was about to kill you.
"god please forgive me" you whispered, running the blade deeply in both of your wrists, cutting a long line across your upper arms.
the pain took your breath away, like when you were a kid and almost drowned in your uncle's pool, the same pain and breathlessness the water inside your lungs created.
the sound of your blood dripping into the bath made you feel nauseous, like when you were a teenager and the smell of food when you starved yourself for to long made you throw up.
the smell was slowly getting stronger to the point in got overwhelming to your tired body, like the first time you took this same desition.
This was too much.
you shouldn't, you shouldn't, you shouldn't.
but you did.
and god how good it felt.
wow.
everything went black, your mind filled with peace, the silence was comforting and you were wrapped in a bed of comfort. Slowly sinking more to the point you couldn't breath.
your skin felt warm, like your head was disconnected to your body, your thoughts finally leaving your mind like a running tap, nothing stopping the flow of your most secrets and suicidal thoughts.
there was nothing and there was everything around you, all the things that filled your soul with experiences was happening around you, memories flooding the endless space you were floating so carelessly.
this was paradise, until your mind started to rant about the way hell was here
hell was you
hell was waking up
hell was taking deep breaths
......
wake up and take a deep breath; look around you and accept your alive in between disasters out of reach of your fixing hands.
wake up and take a deep breath; look beside you and take in the features of who's laying beside you, in the same bed of pain. Suffering differently but in the same level as you.
wake up and take a deep breath; look at your body laying in a bathtub of pain filled with red water, realize is the same as the bed of pain, only lonelier and eternal in your dying body.
wake up and take a deep breath.
________________
you woke up and took a deep breath, looked beside you and found the familiar features of who just like promised, was laying beside you, this ion a uncomfortable chair, head resting on the hospital bed your tired body was resting on.
his hands was holding yours, touch warm and comforting, just like the last thing you remember.
he moved, slowly. Bringing his head slightly closer to your body, searching for the warm your tired body wasn't able to provide him anymore.
he just found your waist, bringing his free hand to rest on the new found skin, searching for a trace of past memories.
the ones his bedroom walls witnessed.
you took a deep breath, filling your lungs with the air you desperately tried to get rid off, you body slowly fighting to bring your warm back.
to bring you back to life in the spiritual way, the one you died long ago.
you took a deep breath.
this time he woke up, eyes adjusting to the light of the room before falling on your face.
your eyes wide open, lips and skin pale but screaming silently about the minuscule life it held.
slowly, his expression filled with realization of your not so lifeless body, his eyes grew wide and desperate, his lower lip quivered and his hands that held you began to shake.
"your alive" he said in disbelief, voice shaking and out of breath.
you couldn't say anything, there were no options going through your mind, everything was empty. no words sounded appropriate in your mind.
so you just stared at him with your clueless and death doe eyes, no light inside of them to show him a peak of your bruised soul.
"why are you alive?" your eyes went completely empty, how can you answer that?.
"I don't know'
.......
(to be continued)
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chelemlem · 2 months
Note
scouring your blog for more characterisation on lando/oscar dynamic.... the not correcting mispronunciations blew my mind wide open. do you have any other wise takes
hello anon :3 pretty sure i've mentioned all of this in some capacity b4 and much has been covered in depth by greater scholars than myself but here are some 814 charactization quirks i'm fond of ↓
oscar resignedly accepting his own attraction to lando but choosing not to act on it because well..... it is what it is. in his mind being 4 tenths off his teammate is a more immediately pressing matter than lando fake moaning from an icebath 2 feet away [clenched fists]
lando subtly looking out for oscar, especially march-may of last year because he distinctly remembers his own rookie season (see: the "it's a lot, isn't it" exchange in the melbourne unboxed, giving oscar endless opportunities to redeem himself in challenges etc). i think part of it was him not knowing how much of oscar's quietness was a factor of the explosive feeder series to f1 jump and how much is his actual personality but wanting him to feel comfortable either way. also just lando being endlessly curious about this guy who is just a guy... because oscar is lowkey a lot funnier (to lando) than the general public's flat/boring diagnosis gives him credit for
a sort of blase level of comfort and wordless communication (see: virgin radio with zak brown) and also in general communicating via just. noises (the yes/no challenge is an esp egregious example of this like why are u bleating at each other. nvm) to borrow an oscar term here: they're low-frequency! bc while lando has a tendency to match the energy of whoever he's with (vs oscar who's pretty much always the same lol) imo at their core 814 are both different flavours of introverts so when they're together it's just kinda. chill
oscar being deeply tolerant of all of lando's idiosyncrasies and even assimilating to his rhythm... eating the same pre-race meal as lando/changing his answer's to match lando's in the who's most likely to vid/listening to lando's music through their shared wall/"are you ready oscar piastri" "i'm ready lando norris"... insanity
a measurable give and take because as indulgent as oscar can be he will rib lando and give him if not a hard time certainly A Time. basically oscar having a spine... but also bending to lando's whims... it's a fine balance
rating each other as drivers...... sure oscar is a well-socialized young man who can (occasionally) pretend net competence has a lot of moving parts and lando genuinely likes a lot of people he doesn't rate (real) but when it boils down to it the fact that they both think v highly of the others' skill as drivers (oscar constantly calling lando one of the quickest guys on the grid, lando saying his recent run of form is in part due to oscar being good enough in his own right to push him, "i mean, he already is") adds a whole new layer of intrigue. bc even when they get along there's that undercurrent of caution/what's he gonna do next/etc and who kneowsss how this aspect of their relationahip is going to evolve over the next three (3!!!) years together as teammates but i for one can't wait to watch :')
they barely (if ever) touch. compelling 2 Me
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kpopscatterbrain · 4 months
Text
Kdramas i've watched this year
Some of these are older dramas but i'm a procrastinator
Black Knight (2023): Loved this one! I have watched it probably 5 times now. Kim Woobin kicking ass is all i need!
Under the Queen's Umbrella (2022): I didn't watch this when it aired (no idea why). I was worried that the plot would be overrun by romance but thankfully i was wrong. Loved Kim Hye-Soo's performance (i cried a little).
Island seasons 1 & 2 (2022-2023): Honestly i only started this one for Kim Nam-Gil. I loved the cast, but the flow of the plot was a little off (don't know how, i can't put a finger on it). Was positively suprised by Cha Eun-Woo's acting, i think he needs more roles like this! Hot villain alert no.1! Sung Joon as a bad guy is either a blessing or a curse. Cgi could have been better.
Taxi Driver season 2 (2023): Loved the first season so of course i had to watch the second one. Love Lee Je-Hoon. Love the main characters. Love the plot and the message of this drama. A masterpiece. Waiting for season 3.
Weak Hero Class 1 (2022): Only heard of this drama wayyy after it aired (thanks tiktok) and god does it deserve every award there is! I was a bit hesitant because Park Ji-Hoon was the main lead, but boy was i wrong because his talent got me speechless (weren't we all). I cried, i cheered, i shadowboxed, i cried a little more and in the end i called my therapist. Thankfully season 2 is coming.
Bloodhounds (2023): Woo Do-whan and Lee Sang-Yi in the same drama beating people up? Yes please! The plot wasn't mindblowing, but sometimes just simple ass kicking is enough. Bromance was bromancing. Park Sung-Woong with another great villain character.
Revenant (2023): After dropping Mr.Sunshine i wanted to see Kim Tae-ri in other dramas, so when this aired i gave it a go. Her range is phenomenal! I have only seen couple spookier dramas, so i made a mistake and watched this at night (slept with the lights on). The eerie vibes and plot twists were well made. Hong Kyung had great chemistry with Kim Tae-ri and his cop role was refreshing to see after his performance in Weak Hero Class (if you know you know).
Flower of Evil (2020): Okay, this is one of the dramas i procrastinated hard on. It's been sitting on my "have to watch" list since it aired and i'm the only one to blame (i hype up a drama in my mind, then don't want to watch it because now i'm afraid it doesn't go the way i think it does and then i get disappointed blaablaablaa). This year i finally got over myself and why. didn't. i. watch. it. sooner!!!! It is all i ever wanted in a kdrama. 1. serial killers 2. a psychopath (but is he really?) w/ an effed up childhood 3. mindgames 4. marriage problems (but has a lot of soft & cute scenes) 5. Lee Joon-Gi. Also as a plus (hot villain alert no.2) the bad guy is kindaa (i'm sane i swear). I would be lying if i didn't say that i found the wife slightly annoying (might be me, but she went too much back & forth and sometimes i had to take a breather while watching), but all in all this drama will be hard to top and i fell in love with Lee Joon-Gi.
Moving (2023): Honestly one of the best dramas of the year. I don't usually really go for plots that have a lot of romance in them (if you haven't noticed), but i found this one to be really well balanced and the romance scenes weren't "cringy". Although Bong-Seok and Hui-Soo were great and had great chemistry, i looooved the background stories of the parents. Park Hee-Soon also pops up as kind of a non-villain villain. I hope there is a season 2.
Song of the Bandits (2023): Kim Nam-Gil again. 1920s Korea and gunslingers... what more could i need? After Mr. Sunshine left me with a disappointment (this might be an unpopular opinion) i craved for a drama set around the same time period, but with a little less romance (i know, i am defective). I think dramas should explore this time period more, but i understand it might still be a touchy subject. The skills of the cast were obviously great, Kim Nam-Gil killed his role like always, but Lee Ho-Jung as Eon-Nyeon shined with her performance (i am now a new fan). Hot villain alert no.3! I have seen Lee Hyun-Wook in Remarriage & Desires and seeing him as a villain made me feel things. If there isn't a second season i will cry.
The Killing Vote (2023): A "serial killer" in a dog mask making the public vote on punishing criminals and everyone suspects each other? Cyber crime? Chemistry between two cops? Major hot villain (no.4)? Sign me up. I love when crime dramas make you question your people reading skills (i have the tism so i really got none) and have all kinds of theories flying around. I liked that even Kim Mu-Chan and Joo Hyun had obvious chemistry between them it didn't overshadow the main point of the plot. I liked Seo Young-Joo's delivery and i hope he gets more bigger roles. Kim Kwon.... why does the psychopath have to be hot? He also needs more bigger roles. !spoiler! Also Park Sung-Woong killing (heh) yet another morally grey character.
The Worst of Evil (2023): Okay, first of all i have to say... the wife ruined everything (some agree and some don't). We get another bromance duo of the year with Wi Ha-Joon and Ji Chang-Wook. Loved the crime organization infiltration plot, heavily despised the romance plot (sorry Bibi baby). I was constantly on the edge of my seat and the characters started to get so morally grey that in the end everyone needs group therapy. Action scenes were chefs kiss. A honorable mention goes for Lee Shin-Ki as Seo Jong-Ryul (or Chief Seo, knife guy, the man has many names) and Bibi for her performance as Lee Hae-Ryeon.
Evilive (2023): Heavily underrated. Kim Young-Kwang doing what he does best, playing a psychopath. This combined with a bromance plot with the one and only bromance master Shin Ha-Kyun? I'm sold. The dramas literal title "villain story" really sums up the plot. Sometimes you are not sure who to cheer for. Sometimes you are not really sure about your own sanity. But to be fair, so aren't the main characters.
Vigilante (2023): Love it. Currently re-watching it. Needs more attention. Needs more episodes. I'm in love with Nam Joo-Hyuk. The best crime drama of the year, the title is all i needed to hear. Beating up criminals in well made action scenes is my favorite genre. No romance. One sided bromance? Morally grey characters (am i repeating myself now?). Yoon Ji-Tae as a beefy cop and Lee Joon-Hyuk as a slightly insane admirer? If we don't get a season 2 i will start a riot.
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ineffablebookgirl · 2 years
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I noticed something on a rewatch about the arc of Aziraphale's coat. When it gets hit by that paintball, he says, "I've kept this in tip-top condition for over 180 years."
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So, since 1839. 20-odd years before the fight / breakup in St. James's Park, which is the earliest we see it.
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But wait, I says to myself, he wasn't wearing that coat in the 1940s Blitz scene in the church. He wears a different outer coat in that scene, one that looks new, made of a material that's stiffer and slightly shiny.
[Of course, one typically wears nicer and more uncomfortable clothes to one's wedding, and Crowley also looks very sharp and more buttoned-up than his typical look in this scene, but that's neither here nor there.]
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After that, after Aziraphale realizes Crowley still cares for him despite their fight, and realizes he loves Crowley too, he switches back to the 1800s coat for good. When he appears in the Bentley in the 60s, he's back in the old coat, and he wears it every scene after that. [He does have that other gray cardigan-like jacket, but that's for relaxing in the bookshop only.]
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In that argument in the park, he feels such a strong need to push Crowley away, for Crowley's own protection. (Every other resistance to collaboration, from the Globe onward, his argument is that *Crowley* would be in danger if they were found out; only in the park fight does he argue that *he* might be in danger. He's saying to Crowley that they need distance to protect him, Aziraphale, because even in his agitation he knows that Crowley's #1 motivator is protecting Aziraphale). Maybe after that, he tries to move on, switch to a modern new coat. And maybe Crowley coming for him again in the church lets him know it's okay to be himself again, to go as slow as he needs to, because Crowley will always come back for him.
~~~
AND ANOTHER THING
has to do with lapels.
Aziraphale's Blitz coat looks much more similar to the jackets worn by the other angels. Take a look at Michael and Uriel's jackets here. They are stiff and have that sheen to them, and the lapels point up.
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Like Aziraphale's Blitz jacket.
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Compare that to the lapels on his trusty old coat. This coat is soft, just like Az. And the lapels point down.
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Okay, okay, so what about demons? We know they deliberately did the miracle gestures with Aziraphale's snap pulling something down from Heaven and Crowley's pulling something up from Hell. If the angels have upward-pointing lapels, it would make sense for demons to have downward-pointing lapels, if my theory is going to hold.
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Yup, that checks out. Hastur and Ligur have floppy sad ugly lapels that droop down toward Hell.
So, the final piece to this puzzle.... how about Crowley's lapels?
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Outrageously spiky upwards-pointing lapels. Because of course. I rest my case.
~~~
[Okay, a couple of caveats. (1) I'm not an expert on fashion or clothes, so I welcome corrections and additions. (2) It's possible that Az's soft, favorite jacket is a summer jacket and the stiffer one he wears in the Blitz is a winter jacket. Not clear what season it is in that scene. (3) Stay tuned for a follow-up post about Gabriel and Beelzebub's lapels. (4) Also, I haven't compared any of the other outfits throughout history, and I only looked at Crowley's 2019 jacket. (5) Sorry if the gifs are weird, I don't really know what I'm doing. (6) Also sorry if this has already been discussed; I try to only post stuff that I haven't seen elsewhere, but I know I'm late to this party!]
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ghostypeppers · 4 months
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Eight Ecto Nights Day 7: Identity
Man I've been thinking about this prompt since I first saw the list over a month ago. I always liked the headcanon of Technus not remembering much about his life, so I thought this was a cite way to show it off.
(I also may have rushed this a tad because I wanted it done by the end of the day so, please excuse some digital art errors )
(I'll also add some alt text for each panel after I eat) Edit, alt text done- I'm not the best at these so I hope this is ok!
4 panel comic featuring Technus by a front door. Panel 1: 'Eight Ecto Nights Day 7' 'Identity' Panel 2: A gloved hand reaches forward to knock. Panel 3: The green man (Technus) is pulling away nervously. Panel 4: Technus: Ugh- come on, Nic. Just knock on the stupid door. Panel 5: What am I even doing here? This cannot be the only other jewish person I know- This is a waste of my time! I'm going back-"
2 1/2 panels Panel 1: Girl [Sam] enters the frame, shes wearing a dark purple sweater, looking upset "TECHNUS?? What are you doing here??" Panel 2: Technus, nervously grinning: '"Guess I don't have a choice anymore" Panel 3: Shift in camera angle, the viewer is looking up at Technus "Puny moody human child!"
Background text: "I, TECHNUS, MASTER OF TECHNOLOGY, REQUIRE YOUR PARTICIPATION WITH ME ON THIS HOLIDAY IN WHICH I AM RE-EXPERIENCING FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MY PATHETIC HUMAN PASSING-"
4 panel page Panel 1: Sam does a sassy pose while frowning "Can you please give me the short version? I was hoping to spend the holidays without dealing with ghost junk-- I'll give you 5 minutes before I call Danny-"
Panel 2: Technus, obnoxiously waving a hand at her,: "FINE, FINE. I came to reconnect with my Judaism- and I thought you were the best person to go to…"
Panel 3: Close up on Technus as he looks away from Sam: "Wait, you're Jewish?"
Panel 4: Side profile of Technus, his hair fills the frame "Sigh, yes. I don't remember much about my life prior to my death. When I came into the ghost zone, all I had was my name and my passion for science and technology. It was only recently that I decided to peel back and try to remember…myself, really"
6 panels Panel 1: Sam, looking sympathetic: "Awh Technus, thats touching…Although I'd love to have you over for Hanukkah-" Panel 2: Sam, grimacing: "I don't think my family would want an evil ghost man in their home…" Panel 3: Technus, looking triumphant: "AH- no need to fear! I, Technus, thought way ahead of you!" Panel 4: Technus: "I collaborated with Spectra to create a holographic body so I may blend in with your pathetic humans." Panel 5: Technus, shown transforming with a glow of greenish-white light: "You shall be the first to witness my psudeo-mortal form!" Panel 6: Technus has transformed into a tan/olive-skinned human male with long curly (stylized) hair in a ponytail. He's wearing a light indigo button up shirt and black pants, "TADA!"
4 panels Panel 1: Technus, crossing his arms; "So tell me, moody child- what do you think?" Sam, looking slightly repulsed: "Its…great. (I see Spectra took some creative liberties)" Panel 2: Sam in a purple void, thinking to herself with her hands on her face: "Just remember the meaning of the holiday season, Sam…He's just a sad old man who lost himself, be nice.." Panel 3: Wide shot of Sam's house with the street- two silhouettes are seen, a smaller one dragging the bigger one towards the house. Sam: "Ugh- You're so lucky I'm usually in a GREAT mood this time of year!" "But you're only staying for one night." Panel 4: Shot of a pink living room with 3 adults sitting on a sofa. A red haired woman holding a mug speaks, "So…Samantha…remind me again as to who this is?"
Full page Sam and human Technus are sitting on the opposite side on individual seats. There is a wonky menorah sitting by the window in the center of the room. Technus is on the right side, waving awkwardly. Sam is on the left,
"Mom, Dad…this is Mr- uh…Borowsky! Mr. Borowsky is our STEM Technology Teacher! I invited him over to spend a night of Hanukkah with us"
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lewkwoodnco · 4 months
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Now That We Don't Talk - Lockwood x Reader
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A/N: very very brief suicidal mention, sooooo much writer's block hhhh (the seasonal depression is depressing), (angst but diluted if that makes sense) add/remove yourself from my taglist in the link beloooow ALSO
🎄Special Announcement! I'll be doing a twelve days of Christmas fic series (1 songfic fic a day leading up to Christmas) BUT I will also be accepting extra holiday-themed requests (if any)!🎄
(speaking of the holidays, thinking of switching to a santa-themed george icon soon hmmm), wc 3.1k
Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 3.5 | Ch 4 | Ch 5
TAGLIST | MATERLIST
Moving had been a surprisingly smooth process that she remembered little of. She had to take care to not think too much about the ornaments she was packing or the boxes she was taping shut or the lonely town she was numbly driving towards, lest the rest of her catch up to the grief weighing her down. Her supervisor had looked plenty confused when she explained where she was transferring to, and muttered something about not knowing if there were any visitors there.
As steep as the change was from working in central London to a significantly sleepier town, she seemed to be adjusting fine. In fact, she was liking the peace and quiet. Or at least, she would, soon enough. She'd learn the right habits, like finding contentment in the stagnant void that descended on her windows far too quickly every evening, the same way she'd unlearn bad habits, like him. So no, her biggest problem was hardly the early sunsets here, but was actually what everyone wanted to talk to her about when she called. The one thing everyone - her old teammates, colleagues, friends - wanted to make sure she knew.
"The gala was fantastic this year - though not as fun without you, of course -"
"You'll never believe who showed up."
"He looked very sharp in his suit. He cleans up nice, I suppose - Anthony Lockwood, I mean."
"They've become quite the celebrities, that Lockwood & Co., though the other two don't seem to tolerate the cameras like he does."
"Oh, you should have seen it. Say what you will about Lockwood but does he know how to make an entrance!"
"Were you at the gala this year?"
She sighed for what must have been the fifth time that day. "No, Ted, I was not. You were at my farewell party, remember?"
"Tha' was for you?"
"Goodbye, Ted."
"Wait! You've seen the pictures, haven't you?"
"No, I haven't, because contrary to popular belief, I am not obsessed with evrything that goes on at Fittes."
"Well, we had a tiptop chocolate fountain this year. Didn't get clogged once and looked absolutely gorgeous. Anywho, I've recently stumbled upon this smashing business opportunity involving chocolate fountains - they're selling like hot cakes, I tell you! - and I'd love to spread the wealth."
"Theodore, you haven't joined another MLM, have you?"
"What is an MLM, other than an opportunity to invest in yourself?"
"Don't make me phone your mother."
The call ended rather abruptly after that. Only Lucy, as always, was an angel.
"I take it you've heard plenty about him?"
"Who? Oh, him. Yes, more than plenty."
"I thought you might. He has...quite the presence, so the papers wanted to interview him, and he agreed - "
" - obviously - "
"And I think they asked him about you at some point."
Her mouth dried. She struggled to find her voice, forcing it to stay casually disinterested. "Hm? What did he say?"
"Absolutely nothing. First and probably last time I've seen him stunned speechless. Naturally, it's all anyone can talk about."
"Mhm."
"He hasn't talked about you, if you're wondering. Sees it coming from a mile away every time George and I try to bring it up. It's so stupid; we know it, he knows it, and he's always in a foul mood. He keeps thinking, these days...Y/N?"
"I don't care."
"No one would blame you if you did."
"I don't."
"So how are you holding up?"
"Well, Luce, I felt happiness outside of external validation for the first time in...ever, then three months later I'm crying in my bathtub wishing I would die, and now I'm miles away from everyone I ever knew and it's always dark outside and I'm always miserable. I'm doing great."
She could hear the exhaustion in the crackling static of the telephone. It occurred to her that she wasn't much acting all that cheerful either.
"If it makes you feel any better, I think he half-expected to see you there."
She inhaled sharply and sat up in her armchair so fast she could feel a cramp curling in her neck. She didn't dare believe Lucy's words. "Really?" she wanted to breathe into the telephone, and revel in dormant delusions, if only for a moment. Instead, she gingerly sank back into the chair, continuing in a flat voice.
"Well, I don't care about any of that now. Oh, I'm sick of it. All of it. If I never hear his name again for as long as I live, it'll be still be too soon. How's George doing?"
After she hung up, she laid in her chair, watching the shadows from her shutters stretch and fold over her furniture as the sun set. She was thinking about the last party she had been to, a yacht party where some of Fittes' and Rotwell's biggest investors were in attendance. How Lockwood had managed to score an invite was beyond her, but what intrigued her more was the cab ride they shared back to Portland Row.
She had been half-dozing off when she felt a hand cover hers. As she blinked at him blearily, she noticed the rigid tension in his spine, as if poised and waiting for an attack. He was clutching her hand purposefully, as if holding off on warning her about something malevolent that was consuming him. She couldn't see his face, which began to feel no different from the cold, hard window pane it was peering out of.
She stirred, distantly unnerved by his impersonality. He glanced at her, apologetically retracting his hand with a sheepish smile. But that look of consternation remained on his face as he turned back to the window with a furrowed brow, with the air of waiting for something. He visibly relaxed as they approached Portland Row, but she couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling even by the time they reached the doorstep.
"You all right?" she was asking, while Lockwood fumbled with their keys.
"'Course. Why wouldn't I be?"
She didn't respond, and the two of them watched him wrench at the key in the lock, trying to steady his mildly trembling fingers.
"Key turns the other way."
He paused his efforts, and after a second or two turned the key the other way. The door slid open smoothly with a click. He held it open, but she just looked at him expectantly. He sighed.
"I'm fine, I promise. I just...get a little nervous around some parts of London."
"Which parts?"
"Some."
"Scared of what?"
"A few things."
"Why?"
"For fun. Look, I'm freezing out here. Can we just drop this?"
That was more than a mild exaggeration; the sun had only just set and the air was still pleasantly balmy. But he looked so beseechingly, and it didn't take much for her to relent when it came to Lockwood, so they stepped inside and shrugged their coats off in silence.
"I'll tell you some day. I'm sure I will."
That was some day too far away. Now she'll never know if, or why he ever felt like that. Or rather, she wouldn't know when he would feel like that. But it was no matter. It was none of her business then, and it was even less of her business now.
She had mostly forgotten about her conversation with Lucy by the following week, which was why her parcel came as a bit of a surprise, especially since she'd mentioned being swamped by a mountain of upcoming cases.
Y/N -
I was thinking about our call the other day. On a completely unrelated note, here's about every gossip rag from the past month I could find at Arif's.
Love, Lucy.
She was beginning to see what was so appealing about these magazines. As ruthless as they could be, they sure knew how to sell a pipe dream to common folk with less exciting lives. The gala was clearly as glitzy and glamorous as it was every year, and the articles held an air of intrigue now that she was quite separate from Fittes. But that quivering excitement became somewhat muffled as she flipped through the glossy pages.
The Anthony Lockwood she saw now looked worlds apart from the Lockwood she left behind. His well-fitting suit, megawatt smile and carefully styled hair made him look expensive in a way that destabilised her. She flipped through photograph after photograph of him looking jarringly luxurious besides walls of text effusing about the success of their latest case, and what an honour it must have been to be personally invited by Marissa Fittes herself. It weighed at the pit in her stomach to see this unfamiliar silhouette of a friend who was become increasingly unattainable, speeding along roads to prosperity faster than she could ever keep up with.
She sifted through the other rags. The most extensive feature was a few pages long, and was centered more on the exciting, up-and-coming agency that was Lockwood & Co. rather than a specific case. There were pictures from their most recent cases, and in each one he looked unnaturally distinct from the last, but in every single one he oozed an appealingly languid charisma. It was good to see him doing so well. She was happy for him. Or she would be, tomorrow, when she had the strength for it. Lockwood was unbearable in a way that made him perfect for a life in the public eye, a life for which she was somehow always deficient. She traced a too-long strand of hair flopped on his forehead in one of the photographs, as if she could magically straighten it out.
She could see him now, thumbing through the pages with an approving tilt to his head, limbs folded uncomfortably in the armchair he always insisted on sharing with her. "No such thing as bad press," he'd claim absent-mindedly, his too-long hair flopping impractically. And she'd watch him with bruised eyes like she always did, wishing for nothing more in that moment shared with him. In other words, wishing for nothing short of what she could never have.
Maybe it was some lingering wish to break herself before he beat her to it. Because that was all it was; dodging blows, lying through pretty teeth, racing ahead to pull one over on him, cursing the feel of his breath on her. There was simply no calm, no respite, only the all-consuming experience of becoming wrapped up in him and losing bits and pieces of herself which would never again be truly hers.
She picked up the telephone again. It felt too heavy in her hand. Numbly, she spun the dial as if on autopilot, keying in her mother's phone number. The dial tone comforted her in some twisted yet cathartic acknowledgement of the emptiness inside of her.
Looking at it now she could see the distinct air of mystery that engulfed Lockwood and clouded her vision. He was never quite fully present; a part of him was always tucked away to be kept secret in some dark corner, and her mind was only too happy to extrapolate, to construct this most desirable yet entirely mythical figment. She felt ragged, winded and worn from battling reality day after day, all alone. And most of all, she felt so very stupid.
Her mother was saying that she had made the right decision. Not that she needed any reminding. Of course her life had taken an upward swing ever since; she'd be a fool to think otherwise. She was positively paralysed with liberty, bedridden with joy, simply immobile with ecstasy!
She was slowly but surely going very insane. Now making eyes at each other, now disconnect, now love, now heartache, now this, now that, but never any peace. Maybe it was some lingering wish to shatter and let the pent up misery dissipate.
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Months passed. The holiday season arrived, and she choked through the November blues with shivering bones and clammy hands. Even with the slight uptick in visitors, as was expected in the colder months, her life provided little to distract her from her own ghosts under the floorboards. So when she received a consultancy request from Fittes one morning, she had written back and mailed her response all while still holding the jam knife.
The train was crowded and noisy with the bustle of the holidays, but as it chugged along through the fields of snow, she couldn't help but perk up ever so slightly at every sigh and creak of its wheels. There was a spring in her step all the way to Fittes headquarters, where she was supposed to collect her apartment key.
A tall, indistinct figure was walking out of the revolving doors as she approached. She flinched when she realised who it was - Lockwood, who didn't seem much happier to see her either. He looked mostly well, though the corners of his mouth were a little strained, his face flushed in the cold.
"...Y/N?"
"Lockwood."
"You're...home?"
"Yeah. Um, how have you been?"
"Good...good. Busy. As busy as winter gets."
He was wearing a different coat. It was quite similar to his old one, but this one was thicker and more structured, and looked like it was at least somewhat effective in keeping the brisk winter wind out. He looked foreign and unfamiliar in a way he hadn't since...since the Investors Party.
It had taken her a while to pick his face out of the pretentious crowd, given how preoccupied she was with weaving through the thicket of people. It had taken her a eyes minute to adjust to the almost nauseatingly charismatic silhouette of an especially-chuffed Lockwood in a newly tailored but otherwise identical suit. She tried to give him a reproaching look, but there was something infectious in his smooth ease as he larked about in his prime which made her lips twitch despite herself as he waded through the crowds.
"You really shouldn't be here."
"You're clearly not drunk enough yet."
"How did you even get in? This is invitation-only."
"Had an invite, didn't I?"
She pursed her lips, shaking her head slightly. He was hopelessly incorrigible in an oddly fascinating way. Her voice dropped to a murmur as she felt herself begin to relent.
"I ought to...tell someone about you."
"That you're secretly in love with me?"
"That we have an illegal stowaway."
"You're not going to rat me out, are you?"
The pleading look on his face was enough to give her pause. She was already beginning to regret her decision, but he looked so vivacious it was difficult to stay disapproving for long.
"Excellent. Now, would you be so good as to point me in the direction of the bigger spenders?"
They spend the next few hours laughing and entertaining the many important men on the boat and their great deal of important thoughts. She'd excuse herself towards the end of every conversation to leave Lockwood and the glimmer in his eye to close a deal. For someone so adept at climbing the corporate ladder, she was surprisingly poor at fulfilling these adjacent duties.
She hated every second of it, and she drank as much as she could without raising eyebrows to make it all halfway palatable, but it was all worth it then. He had wanted to stay for as long as it would have been polite, so when they finally left, long after the media had made their rounds at the event, his jacket was folded over his left arm and his hand was delicately holding hers.
When she was stuck in her drafty cottage on the edge of nowhere, she'd think about the feel of his fingers curling around her palm more than it was appropriate, and wonder how she ever thought she was somehow better off here.
But that evening's sense of camraderie was long gone. Now, she regarded him coolly, holding him at arm's length. They may have had a rough falling out, but that didn't mean they couldn't still be friends. Just friends. Nothing more. But the vaguely intimate look in Lockwood's eye told her he was in no mood to entertain any kind of platonic notions.
"I didn't know you were back."
She relented. It was the season of giving, after all.
"Only for a while. Fittes hired me as a consultant for a few months."
He blinked at her. "You could have called."
"I didn't think you'd be interested."
"Of course I'd be interested. I'm always interested when it comes to you."
She sighed sharply. It was so easy to get swept up and believe him when he said things like that, that she wondered how she found the strength to leave. He was a bastard, a ne'er-do-well who only knew how to break her heart after promising sweet, simple luxuries in whispers over expanses of skin. She made her lips tremble, her pulse quicken, her heart shake in all the worst ways.
But underneath all that, love was there. Love was there...still.
"Ready to go?"
They turned in unison towards a strikingly beautiful girl with glossy raven curls walking out of the revolving doors. The girl's smile only slipped a fraction as she shook her hand, and she was distantly aware of making some kind of clumsy introduction. They stuttered through some stunted small talk, during which all she was aware of was the blood roaring in her ears that gave the whole scene a distantly muffled feel. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"Well, this was...lovely. Shall we go, then?"
The girl turned to leave, but some semblance of hesitation prevented her from pulling Lockwood along with her.. His face still had that same confused look.
"You could have called," he repeated tonelessly, like a broken record. The girl's presence made the back of her neck smart and prickle uncomfortably.
"I might, later."
"Bye. Nice meeting you."
"Nice meeting you too."
"We're home all day."
The last one was from Lockwood.
"Just...if you want to drop by. So that Luce and George don't have my head on a platter by supper."
"Goodbye, Lockwood."
He was captivating in a way that made her want to keep him all to herself. No one needed to intrude on this tantalising secret they shared. It was at that moment that she made the very unfortunate realisation that she didn't need to say it out loud to make what she had been screaming from the rooftops of her heart any more real - him and her would forever be unfinished business.
And nothing she could do could make the palpitations of her heart any less real either.
As the life she once dreamed of walked away from her, all she was acutely aware of was that it was a lingering wish, some half-thought dream, to sit opposite him in a chilly kitchen on blustery mornings, watching him drink his tea while she got drunk on him.
TAGLIST: @novelizt @avdiobliss @dangelnleif @mischivana @mitskiswift99 @houseoftwistedspirits
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ananxiousgenz · 2 months
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okay okay okay wait i have just experienced A Thought
so it's been established that the title of the most recent juno steel eps comes from the coal miner song "sixteen tons", most notably covered by tennessee ernie ford. you can find it on youtube or spotify, but it's about the backbreaking labor and dangerous conditions these miners would go through for very little pay, and because of this, the most obvious reading is that this song title was chosen to be about nureyev working to keep slip alive for years only to discover that the dokana group was screwing him over.
but. what if the song title wasn't just in relation to nureyev but to slip as well?
stick with me for a minute here, because i've got some interesting thoughts about this.
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the lyrics of the first verse focus on how the people in power think that the men working beneath them are just soulless lumps of dirt when in reality they are people made of "muscle and blood and skin and bones" who are purposefully under-educated ("a mind that's a-weak") so they can only do manual labor for a living ("and a back that's strong"). slip's intention with his drug formula was to give people an escape from reality. he wanted to help those people who could do nothing but work and wanted to flip off the pharma corps by making it easily affordable and non-addictive. the first verse is basically a summary of the motives that drove him to that game of rangian street poker with the executives that brought him where he is now.
the chorus is even more interesting.
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yeah, you really could interpret this in relation to peter's quest for slip's resurrection, but it could also get connected to slip's dedication to creating this drug. peter flat out told us that slip put A LOT of work and testing into it and it wasn't just something that happened overnight. however, what specifically stands out to me here is the last two lines and the reference to st. peter. in sixteen tons part 2, slip basically gives peter permission to let him go (see this post from @smidgen-of-hotboy). if we're reading this from slip's pov, the song is just reiterating that message: peter can let slip go. he knew the risks he was taking by tangling with the executives and stealing from them so his soul is really the one that is owed "to the company store", which is why slip wouldn't want peter to "call him" (resurrect him) because he made the decisions and mistakes so he would want to be the one paying for them. every day that peter leaves him alive is just another day slip is getting older and not better. every day peter leaves slip alive is another day his debt is growing larger. for the sake of his own wellbeing, peter HAS to let slip go.
the rest of the verses are basically a summary of nureyev's story thus far (verse two being his new story being born as he starts working for the dokana group, verse three being his interactions with juno and leaving him at the end of season 4, and verse 4 being the absolute ass-kicking he's about to hand the dokana group) but with the chorus that is just chock-full of slip's voice getting repeated between those verses, it just almost feels like slip is begging to be let go but peter, being peter, won't listen. it's very interesting stuff.
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themultifandomgal · 4 months
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Arthur Shelby- Call The Midwife
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I was requested to do a request based on call the midwife. I couldn't choose just one character and one story line from call the midwife so I've done one for each. They will all be out over the next few weeks.
Inspired by season 2 episode 4
Falling pregnant was something Arthur and I were very excited about. A year after we married we knew that we wanted a baby. So here I am  now nearly 9 months pregnant. Groaning I sit down on our shared bed after going to the bathroom for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. Arthur puts his arms around me and rubs my large stomach
"How's my boy doing in there?"
"Making me need a piss every 5 minutes" I chuckle "Arthur?"
"Hmm"
"Esme said we should speak to the midwife about the baby not moving much. Said her lot she could feel kicking. I haven't felt him kick once"
"I'm sure he's alright in there, but we can speak to the midwife tomorrow if you'd like"
"Thank you Arthur"
"Anythin for you dear" Arthur helps me to lay down properly in bed, placing the bed sheets over me and I quickly fall asleep.
Sometime during the night I wake up to awful pains in my stomach. Waking Arthur up I tell him to go and call the midwife.
What feeling like hours pass and I'm pacing the bedroom huffing and puffing
"There here" Arthur finally says and in walks the midwife I've been seeing since falling pregnant
"Sister, thank god your here" I breath out just as another pain hits me
"How are you doing?"
"I feel terrible, look at me"
"Well it's not a beauty contest. Now let's take a look at you" the midwife says helping me on to the bed. She lifts my legs up and takes a look at me "well it looks like we're going to be waiting for a little bit. Your not quite ready yet"
"Oh god I want this over" I shout
"And it will be soon and you'll have a perfect little baby in your arms"
"Your the father I'm guessing"
"Yes sister"
"We'll time for you to leave. Go heat up some water. This is woman's business" with that Arthur leaves the room looking panicked.
Hours later the Sister checks me again and tells me that I'm ready to push
"Now on the next pain I want you to give me a really big push. Ok?"
"I don't think I can. It hurts so bad"
"I know it does but just keep thinking about this little one being in your arm. Ok right" as the pains hit I push with all my might "ok I want you to wait a minute and when the next contraction hits I want you to push really hard" I pause, panting out of breath. Another contraction hits and I start pushing again "keep going almost there"
"I can't"
"Yes you can. Baby is nearly here" finally I feel the baby leave my body, but there's no crying at first
"My baby, is he ok?"
"Come on little one" I here the midwife say and tears start to form, but once a cry is hear I breathe a sigh of relief "I'm just going to clean him"
"Is it a boy?" I ask
"Girl"
"A girl" i mutter smiling. There's a knock on the door and in walks Arthur "it's a girl Arthur"
"Mr Shelby we haven't quite finished in here. YN hasn't delivered the after birth yet"
"He can stay I don't mind"
"Erm well in that case. Mr and Mrs Shelby I need to speak to you both"
"What's wrong?" Arthur asks frowning
"Baby's had some complications"
"What's that supposed to mean. What's wrong with my daughter?" Arthur demands
"She's got a problem with her back"
"What kind of problem?" I ask worried
"Let me call for a doctor who can explain it to you"
"Spina bifida?" I repeat making sure I've heard the doctor correctly
"Yes"
"But most children with this condition don't make it past their 3rd birthday"
"Only if their condition is accompanied with other things. I want to take the baby to the London general"
"My wife and I haven't even held her yet"
"Arthur it's ok" I say placing my hand on his arm
"Your both welcome to visit whenever you'd like and once we're happy with babies progress then you will be able to bring her home"
"Thank you doctor. Sister" with that I watch them take mine and Arthur's daughter away. I can tell Arthur is feeling many mixed emotions, anger, hurt, upset, confusion. I lean my head on his shoulder
"What if she...." Arthur finally says, his voice cracking trying not to cry
"We have to have faith Arthur"
"Faith. We should name her faith"
"I love that name"
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countryclubkook · 10 months
Text
The Gold
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader
Warnings: season 2 spoilers, angst, mentions of death of course, mentions of alcohol
Summary: Rafe has changed since the hunt for gold started and you’ve had enough. But then tragedy strikes and you feel like things are finally getting better, then something unexpected happens and you have to make a choice
A/N: made some tiny adjustments to this and wanted to repost it, i was listening to phoebe bridgers ‘the gold’ when I wrote this the first time which heavily inspired it
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You knew your relationship with Rafe had come to a standstill when you began to feel like he was a ceiling waiting to collapse on you at any moment. You spent 4 years with each other and it all came crashing down in one month, it's funny how things work out sometimes. All the love you once felt for him was replaced by estranged thoughts and tears over what once was. You knew it wasn't all his fault, his father had a stronghold on him and he was desperate for his love and validation, but it still hurt you in the end.
“I love you and I miss you Rafe.” there was a tense silence before he spoke up.
“Yeah, love you. Look I've gotta go cause dad needs me. I'll see you soon.” it was all lies, his voice held the same distance it’s had for the last month.
“Okay.” this is how your phone calls had been for weeks now, it hurt more now to pretend the two of you were fine than not speaking at all but neither one of you wanted to admit to the other it was over, neither of you ready to admit it.
When news broke of Ward's death, you ran to the Cameron residence to see how Rafe was doing. He looked horrible, he had been crying and reeked of whiskey. He broke down in your arms and he didn't know if it was from losing his father or from feeling your comforting touch after so long. He hadn’t meant to neglect you or the relationship, but he was so worried about his father going back to hating him or thinking he was a disappointment again that it was all he could think about.
“I'm so sorry Rafe,” you told him while trying to hold yourself together. Ward wasn't a very good man, but you knew how much he meant to Rafe and it was still his dad at the end of the day. He still loved and grieved him.
“He's gone Y/N, he's really gone. I'm all alone again, i’ve got nobody.” the last part hurt you but you tried to ignore it, he gripped onto you harder than before as he began to sob.
“I'm right here Rafe, you’ve got me still. It’s going to be okay” you whispered, stroking his head trying to reassure him, but you were only met with silence. The only thing you could do was be there for him hold onto like a lifeline.
That was a few weeks ago and things seemed to be getting back to how they once were between you and Rafe, if not better than before. He’d been talking you out on more dates, trying to get clean, stepping up to take over the business. It felt like you truly had your Rafe back and you couldn’t be happier…that was until he had come to you saying Ward was actually alive and that he and his family had to leave in a few days but you weren't allowed to come with them. It was like a knife had stabbed you in your chest and that's when you knew, no matter what happened or how much you were there for him, how much you gave him your everything, how much you loved him, it would always be his dad that he chose. This wild hunt for gold and dire need for validation had changed him completely and his kisses didn't taste like the mint gum and whiskey you were once so addicted to, they tasted like poison.
“Rafe we need to talk.” you said solemnly, ushering towards the couch for him to sit.
“Sure what's wrong? Are you okay?” concern suddenly lacing his voice when he saw your face laced with sadness and defeat.
There was a tense silence for a moment, you took a deep breath before spitting out the one thing you were both terrified to admit, “I don't think I love you anymore.” there it was, the words you both knew were coming but too scared to say out loud finally out in the open. Maybe that's why it didn't come as a shock to either of you when you said it.
“What? Don't be crazy Y/N, of course you do.” he was just trying to fool himself, it wasn’t a surprise to him, he just didn’t want to lose his safety line. But he knew that wasn't true anymore. He had pushed you to the side and stopped caring about the relationship and you.
“No Rafe, I don't, and you don't love me anymore either so please, can we stop playing this game? It hurts too much to keep pretending and I don't want to do it anymore, I can't do it anymore.” tears streaming down your face as your voice broke. You needed him to let you go so you could being healing.
Rafe hated to see you cry, especially when he was the reason for your tears, but it was the truth. Pretending to still love each other and act like your relationship was fine was taking its toll on you and he knew it. He wanted to be selfish and keep you around as a safety blanket when things got worse after his dad but knew it had to end before he left.
“I still love you, I've always loved you. That was always real.” was the only thing he could say that was really genuine.
“I think that you believe you loved me but I don't think you really did. You don't do the things that you did to people you love. I think you've gone crazy searching for this stupid gold and I can't keep pretending otherwise. This good changed you, you’re not my Rafe anymore, you're a stranger to me. You don't have to hold me anymore Rafe so please, just let me go.” you pleaded, your voice desperate and distant. You hated to be so cold towards him but it was the only way this conversation would end the way it needed to.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I've got to go and prepare everything to leave. I did love you in the beginning though, regardless of whether you believe me or not. I'll see you around Y/N/N.” he said, tears forming in his eyes as he spoke to you for the last time without looking at you before walking out the front door for the final time.
That was the final straw for you, you burst into tears from both relief and heartbreak. The relief of being free from him and not having to pretend that the two of you were in love anymore and the heartbreak of losing what you thought was your forever person to that stupid fucking gold. It was finally over now and the only thing left to do was heal from the damage he caused and try to find happiness again.
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Text
This is reviews and ratings for the narrative/ fiction podcasts I have/ am listening to. This is mostly for me but if you want to use this as a recommendation go for it but be warned I'm not talking about plot or giving a description, there's no mentions of potentially triggering material so do your own research first if that's something your concerned about.
Welcome to Night Vale
-Night Vale owns my entire ass, no one does it better. I've been listening since the beginning and while I do think the quality has dipped a bit in the last few years its still really good. 9/10
The Magnus Archives
-Nearly perfect. Holds up and even improves with subsequent listens. The final season drags a bit imo but worth it in the end. 9/10
Old Gods of Appalachia
-really good story, gives you a lot to keep track of character wise but is written well enough that its not too hard and you can still follow the story if you forget some. 8/10
Moonbase Theta Out
-I can't wait for this to be over. Unfortunately, the storyline has a chokehold on me, and i need to know how it ends. Otherwise, i wouldn't be listening anymore. While there are several pretty good voice actors, there's enough bad ones that it's hard to listen to. Took the idea that characters should be flawed a little too far and made nearly every character completely insufferable. Nearly everytime a character is being given critical and emotional information it cuts away, in what I assume is an attempt to save the audience from listening to the same information over and over again, but instead it deprives the audience that look at how the character reacts to the information, which could go a long way in making them seem more fleshed out, instead you only see them emote in angry outbursts or melodramatic soliloquies (which is not helped by the subpar acting). 2/10
Death By Dying
-pretty funny but I don't think there's been enough episodes to make a educated review or rating
Hello from the Hallowoods
- very good overall. Good story, heartfelt and well written. Percy's story hits close to home for me, which sometimes makes me mad because he comes across as very weak and insecure and it gets on my nerves. But honestly that's less of a problem with the Percy or the writing and more of a problem of him being one of the very very few trans masc characters in existence so its extra disappointing when i find him irritating. Polly owns my ass, I would die for him. 8/10
Where the Stars Fell
-I binge listened up to the current season which I feel wasn't the way to go but it's still pretty enjoyable. 6/10
Midnight Burger
-Very funny. I love the characters and their dynamic and just the idea of a time a space traveling diner, it's beautiful. The beginning of this new arc confused me a bit but it's starting to come together. 7/10
We Fix Space Junk
- Very funny but with the underlying terror of what's going on with automnicon. Looking forward to new episodes. 6/10
The Sheridan Tapes
-started really strong but has been spending too much time on the characters agnst and not enough time actually progressing the story. At this point I'm just looking forward to a conclusion. 4/10
Camp Here and There
- it was pretty good, nothing exceptional but not bad but then I took a single glance at what was going on in the fandom and it was so obnoxious that it immediately ruined it for me. I feel bad lowering the rating due to the fandom but like, yikes. 2/10
SCP Readings
-very entertaining, easy to follow even if you don't have any prior knowledge about scp, which I do not. 7/10
The Amelia Project
-I think I'm to early in this one to make a solid judgement but I enjoy it so far. Venerio haunts me.
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theywantedplayer · 1 year
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Hi! Can you please do a Nico fic where the reader is someone in the team’s sister like Jack’s or Jesper’s? Maybe the reader and Nico like each other or are already secretly dating and the brother is super protective?
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You and Nico have only been dating for around 4 months , you both told your brother Jack a month into the Relationship. You and Nico were a Little nervous to tell him that you were his sister and Nico being his teammate after all, but Jack took the news quite well. He knew Nico was a great guy but  Jack always had a fear of you getting hurt. Even though you were a year older than him
Nico and Jack started living together during Jack's second season with the devils, so you were around their apartment a lot. But one day you and Nico got into a little bit Of a disagreement.
“Nico I don't understand why you can't take a day to come to this event with me” You said “It's important to me, I'm getting an award for my work!”
“Y/n its the middle of the season i'm busy you know this!” he groaned. Nico hated arguing with you, it made him even more annoyed. 
“It's 2 hours of your time Nico, that's all I ask!” You told
“And I told you I have an interview I cant Y/n I just can't I would If i could” He spoke
“Then do it! Reschedule the interview”  you whined
“ I can't I just cant, I've had to reschedule this interview three times in the past”his voice rose as he spoke only making you raise yours
“You know how many times i've Canceled on friends or postponed plans to go to your games sooo many times Nico”     “Y/n I kno-”   But you cut him off “No Nico you clearly don't know”
There was a long stretch of silence, you both just standing awkwardly in his apartment Until you walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed your car keys and made your way to the door.
“Where are you going?” Nico asked chasing after you 
“Out” was all you respond with 
“Keep your phone on so I know you're safe” yes you too were In the middle of an argument but that doesn't mean that he's not going to make sure you're safe “I love you”  but the only response he got was you slamming the apartment door in his face .
Nico sighed rubbing his hands in his face 
“Fuck” He Whispered
He turned around to the sound of one of the bedroom doors opening, Seeing Jack in the doorway.
“What the fuck did you do man” He asked. Nico walked to the kitchen counter leaning up against it.
“You know how Y/n got that award for her project at work?” Jack nodded in response “Well it's tomorrow but I have that interview, the one i've Had to reschedule three times and if i cancel it will look bad” Nico explained 
Jack paused before be reapsoned “I think your a fucking Idoit”
Nico was shocked at Jack sudden choice of words 
“You'd rather go to an interview than go to your girlfriends and my sister award show, You know how many times she has canceled going out with her friends to go see your games”  Jack told him
“I know I just-”
“No Nico you don't know, She goes to every single dinner, game and event that involves you,You have to cancel stuff too” He told Nico
 Jack was right and Nico knew it,  Nico knew how many times you had to cancel plans with your friends, sometimes even getting into fights with your friends cuz they were upset that you would cancel plans to go to one of his games.
“Fuck” Nico groaned
“Yea fuck is  right so before she gets home your gonna make a call and cancel the interview and when she does get home your gonna Apologize?” Jack said. Nico nodded in response as Jack walked back into his bedroom.
 Nico did end up making the call and canceling the interview. The people on the other line of the phone were quite annoyed but Nico had to do it. Now, he was nervously waiting on the couch for you to come home. Around 45 minutes later the apartment door opened and Nico was met with a still Very annoyed you,  you looked and saw Nico sitting on the couch and quickly made a beeline for your guys' bedroom not wanting to talk to him still.
 Nico quickly stood up and followed you into the bedroom calling your name but you wouldn't turn around.
“I canceled the interview,” He said. You stopped moving but didn't turn around so Nico kept going. ‘You were right you have  canceled more things in this Relationship and that's unfair I haven't been putting 100% in when I should have been Im sorry” 
 you slowly turned around to look at Nico 
“Thank you, That's all i wanted” You told
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