#when it comes to this stuff i usually end up hating myself and trying to use feelings like that to hurt myself (not physical SH or anything) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uglyducklingofthe2000s · 4 months

Note

hello i’m newish to tumblr so i don’t know if this is gonna be where it’s supposed to be anyways i was wondering if you could do a lando x reader

where she either is part of the small 🍒 community and is really insecure and lando reassures her that she is perfect the way she is

lando and reader have an argument about anything and they go to bed without sorting it but reader is like on the edge of the bed and lando pulls her in for a hug and they fall asleep and apologise in the morning

and please know you don’t have to do this i just wanted to ask since you are one of my favourite blogs 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Don't Be Such A Muppet - LN

So I'll admit, I am not part of the small boob community. I'm going to try and write it, but it's not an insecure I've ever had so if I'm not happy with what I end up writing then I'll not be uploading it as usually if I can't kind of properly put myself in the position of the reader (or get as close to possible as being in the position of the reader) then I struggle to write something I like or think is worth reading. I promise I will try, but I can't promise it will end up being uploaded.

But this is the second request. I hope you like it :D

Y/n hates to sound ungrateful especially when she got into a relationship with Lando knowing that he'd not always have the most spare time. But recently it's felt like he'd rather spend the spare time he does have with anyone else but her.

What she didn't expect was Lando to get so defensive when she tried to talk to him about it and in turn it brought out a more hostile side towards her.

"I just said I felt like you are busy all the time when I want to do stuff together."

"So I'm supposed to just not have a life beyond work and you?" Lando scoffs making her flinch back a little and while he feels a twinge of guilt, he doesn't stop himself.

"Lando, I just...I want to spend time with my boyfriend? Why is that asking too much of you?" Y/n questions feeling an ache in her chest over this whole situation. "You are being an arsehole about this and it's so unnecessary."

"Y/n, you are around me all the time!" Lando exclaims making her clamp her teeth on the inside of her cheek, definitely cutting a little deeper than intended and it doesn't help with the growing tears. "You're always by my side and baby I love you, but I'm not going to choose spending what little time I get with my friends or doing what I want to do with my spare time over you!"

"The only time we spend time alone together is for sex or while we're asleep! I just-I want to feel like you actually want this relationship as more than just something you could find with anyone else."

"Christ, do you know how many girls would love for even just sex and sleep?"

Silence falls between them for a few beats. Passing almost painfully slowly. But eventually she speaks up after they've stared each other down.

"Right." Y/n nods then clearing her throat and straightening her posture. "I'm uhh...I'm tired, I'm just going to bed. Don't want to crowd you or impose myself on your spare time that you don't want to spend with me."

She hears Lando groan in frustration as she turns and walks out the room. Rather than heading towards the bedroom, she locks herself in the bathroom for a while.

Silently crying is embarrassing enough as it is. But hiding from her own boyfriend so he doesn't catch her crying is just the worst situation to be in. She hates it on so many levels.

But she still loves Lando and hopefully he'll calm down and realise that he could've approached the whole conversation and her attempt to have good communication with a much better attitude.

"Y/n, are you in there?" Lando asks knocking on the door.

She was really hoping to hide for a little longer, just to really depuff her eyes from crying. But she moves to the door unlocking it and coming face to face.

"Sor-I'm done. Night." Y/n starts then correcting herself from apologising to him then moving around him while he sighs heavily, clearly still very much annoyed about their argument. Also probably a little annoyed at her for being the one who appears to be handling this by not shouting and screaming back, which does make him look a little immature.

Getting into bed and pushing herself to the furthest edge just in case Lando does have the balls and audacity to try and sleep in the bed with her. She has enough knowledge of her boyfriend's personality to know that he has exactly the balls and audacity to get in this bed with her tonight.

No more than 15 minutes pass of her still silently crying before she hears him shuffling around the room and then his weight lands on the bed behind her.

"You're going to fall off the bed if you fall asleep like that." Lando states in a soft voice, clearly trying to improve his position with her since she's made it obvious that she's not very happy with him.

More silence follows before y/n shifts ever so slightly further to the edge of the bed. Only just keeping herself from completely falling over the edge.

"Stop being stupid." Lando sighs reaching to pull her back when she sniffles trying to keep her breath steady.

Y/n hates how much comfort she finds in just being held by the man, she's supposed to be upset at him and mad. But instead she just lets him hold her tightly and accepts sleep as her form of escape away from this situation.

Arguing is never at the stop of her agenda and she really hates arguing with Lando of all people because in her eyes he's the most important person in her life right now. She doesn't want the relationship to turn sour or slowly fade away, she mentioned not being at the top of his list of first choices for how to spend his spare time.

Morning comes around all too quickly, y/n is definitely feeling the weight of Lando's words last night. She is definitely feeling worth a lot less than she thought she was worth before yesterday.

Lando is still heavily asleep and wrapped tightly around her. So she pulls his arms from around her and stands up, not caring if she wakes him up. She just needs to get away from him.

"Y/n?" Lando groans, groggy as he lifts his head and she moves to get dressed. "Baby, where are you going?"

"Out, I need clear my head."

MOVE DUMBASS

Lando actually falls out the bed getting tangled in the sheets and while y/n's initial instinct is to check he's ok, she knows she needs to use his trip up as a means of getting out there faster and not being caught.

"No. No. Baby, we need to talk. Don't go out and clear your head-"

"Lando, listen to me...because you need to listen. You need to understand that-that last night hurt. A cuddle isn't going to fic is. It still stings. It hurts and I'm-I just need to think." Y/n hiccups, getting caught up in her own emotions. "I-I need to get some air and just think about everything because being-being second priority is one thing. But not even being second or third when I try to put you first."

Saying it out loud stings even more. It's made the truth sink in.

"Baby, you are my first priority. Before F1, before my friends."

"I'm not." Y/n cries too overwhelmed trying to tug herself from Lando's hand that is holding her elbow gently. "Please."

"I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry, y/n. Sorry for upsetting you. Sorry for shouting. Sorry for making you think you are worth any less than what you are worth. You are worth a million of me. I was a muppet yesterday." Lando states then sighing. "I'm just really fucking sorry and I'm going to make sure you never feel like I'm not making time for you again because I love spending time with you and you shouldn't be grateful just because we have sex. I don't even know why I said that. You deserve better."

Y/n isn't quite trying to leave as much as she was, but she's still not moved to properly look at him.

"I know it's not going to be immediately better. But please forgive me." Lando whispers not wanting to come across too aggressive.

"Ok...but you've got some serious grovelling to do...and I want an expensive gift with thought put into it." Y/n huffs trying to hide a sly smile.

"I will get you the most thoughtful expensive gift I can possibly find and I will grovel in as many ways I can think of." Lando promises then moving to kiss her a few times.

It's not going to be an immediate fix. Lando realised in the few minutes between her coldly passing him leaving the bathroom and pulling her over to himself in the bed. He was majorly at fault.

But he can't lose y/n because of his own stupidity and stubbornness. So he's going to improve himself to be someone who deserves her, not someone she has to accept lesser treatment from than what she should get from someone who claims to love her the way he does.

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christhopersturniolo · 2 months

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୨ MY LITTLE SISTER ୧ matt

summary: you had some plans with your boyfriend matt for the weekend, but something unexpected happens, and you have to babysit your little sister.

notes: this is my second time ever writing a fanfic (go read my first one) and english isn't my first language, it's probably not very detailed and there might be some mistakes, but I hope you enjoy it! all ears to feedbacks, l'd love to know what you think!

warnings: cussing, fluff

୨୧

I sigh “And why can’t you take her with you?” I say taking my eyes out of the screen and looking at my mom.

“How long will it take for you to understand that your dad is on a business trip and i’m going on one as well?” She answers walking from a side to another, packing some of her things. “I can’t take her with me, even if I wanted to.”

"But mom-" I start, only to be cut off.

"No buts, Y/n.” She interrupts, her tone firm. “I’m being serious." She looks straight into my eyes "It's what I'm telling you, you'll have to stay with your sister. I won't be paying for a babysitter while you're here with your ass in the couch. You are almost 18, you can very well take care of her, it’s only for the weekend.”

“But I told you I have plans with Matt!” I exclaim, leaning my head back on the headrest of the couch in annoyance.

My mom is about to reply when we hear the sound of my 3 year old little sister's footsteps coming from her room, followed by her little giggles.

We automatically get silent about this topic. I take a deep breath, reminding myself she's not the problem, she's just a child caught up in our adult issues. Bella is not the problem.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my sister, but it's a bit overwhelming to adjust having a sibling after being the only child for years. And with my mom's age, it's unexpected, to say the least.

SKIP TIME

Today is the day that my mom is going to her ‘super important business trip’, and also the day Im supposed to have a date with Matt.

After my mother left at 7am, Bella and I found ourselves up earlier than usual. We already had breakfast, so now, we don’t really have anything to do. We go to the living room, watch some TV.

Bella sits on the couch next to me and chooses the channel. After some good ten minutes, I look at my right to check on her, and she’s completely asleep, what makes me smile.

Until I realize that I didn’t canceled my dinner with Matt.

Shit, I completely forgot to talk with Matt! Fuck!

I get up and I go over to my bedroom, getting my phone and calling him. He takes some seconds to answer the call.

“Babe? Sorry, did I wake you up?” I ask, hoping the answer would be ‘no’.

“No, No, No..” He says with his husky morning voice, he definitely just woke up. “But why are you calling this early? Is something wrong?” I could feel myself getting fucking soaked as he talks, sorry, but his voice in the morning? I can’t take it.

I take a deep breath, trying to think straight. "Um, yeah.. Actually, my mom went out for the weekend, and I have to babysit my sister.. I don't know if I'll be able to make it to the dinner we had planned tonight”

“Oh” A simple response, What does that even mean? He probably hates me now.

"I know you already made the reservation, and I was super excited, I swear," I start saying nothing with nothing, feeling guilty for ruining our plans. "But then my mom told me she had this thing and..."

Before I could finish apologizing, Matt cuts me, understanding. "No babe, that's fine. Don't worry. Maybe we can do something else? With your sister? I have stuff to do all day, but I’m free at night, maybe we can have a sleepover or something?”

I sigh in relief “Yeah sure, that sounds great, I will talk about It with Bella”

“Alright call me later sweetheart, love you, bye” He ends the call and I go back to the living room, getting back on my place.

Bella is still peaceful sleeping on the couch. Not wanting to disturb her, I cover her with a blanket, but my actions unfortunately wake her up, blinking her sleepy eyes open. A small yawn escapes her lips, and she looks at me with a drowsy smile.

"Hey, sleepyhead" I whisper, gently brushing a piece of hair from her face. "Did you have a nice nap?" Bella nods, rubbing her eyes with tiny hands. "Mhm" she murmurs, snuggling deeper into the blanket.

I think about a way to tell her that Matt is coming over before she could fall back asleep “So.. do you remember my boyfriend, Matt?" Bella blinks, her sleepy expression turning curious. "Mm-hmm" she mumbles again, nodding slowly.

“What if.. He came over to a super fun sleepover with us today?” I say trying to sound extra excited to convince her.

Bella's eyes light up with excitement at the mention of a sleepover. "Yeah!" She exclaims, her drowsiness quickly dissipating. "Matt is funny!" Her sentence makes me chuckle “Oh he is?” She nods giggling, It doesn't even look like she just woke up.

The rest of the day, she doesn’t stop talking about Matt.

“Then- Then will Matt play games with me?”

“And can we watch frozen? I think Matt will like it”

Over and over, she’s more excited than me. But I mean, I can’t blame her, It’s Matt over all.

Around 8pm, Matt rings on the doorbell. I go over to the front door, Bella follows me, getting behind my left leg. I open the door and I see my boyfriend with two bouquets of flowers, a big one, and a small one.

“Hey love” He leans for a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, then he hands me the bouquet “This is for you”

A smile appears across my face, I chuckle “Thank you so much.. You really didn’t had to” I say looking at my favorite flowers.

“No that’s fine, don’t worry” Matt returns the smile, his eyes lighting up as he sees Bella peeking out shyly from behind me. "Hey, Bella" he says warmly, crouching down to her level. "I also brought these for you, little princess" he says, offering her the smaller bouquet with a gentle smile.

Bella looks at me, seeing Bella's hesitation, I give her a soft nod, silently urging her to accept the flowers from Matt. With a shy smile, Bella reaches out and takes the bouquet from him, still with one hand around my leg.

“What do we say Bella?” I place my hand on the top of her head, caressing her hair.

“Thank you Matt” She says still shy.

"You're welcome, Belly" He responds getting up, his voice gentle and kind.

Some hours after playing some board games and talking, Bella decided to go get her toys.

She returns carrying a bunch of dolls and stuffed animals, then she settles onto the carpet in front of us and places everything there. “Matt come play with me!” She says excited with some barbie’s in her small hands.

He gets up from the couch, and sits down next to Bella on the floor “Alright so what doll am I?” Bella looks around “Hmmm..” She grabs a really bad looking doll, marker-covered, and hands it to Matt. I automatically start laughing uncontrollably, Matt matches the energy.

I am just watching as they play, Bella makes Matt use a girly voice, what just makes everything ten times better for my entertainment.

After Bella got tired of playing with her toys, she made us watch frozen, it’s her favorite movie, this is probably her fifth time watching it. I sit on the left side of the couch, Matt on the middle and my sister next to him. Some 30 minutes after the movie started, Bella is already with her head on Matt’s lap, sleeping like a little angel, as Matt gently strokes her hair and she snuggles closer to him.

His eyes meet mine, seeing me watching him, he smiles “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” With a soft smile, I rest my head on Matt's shoulder “You just look so cute taking care of kids” He chuckles and leaves a kiss on the top of my head.

୨୧

this actually sucked, i’m so bad at doing cute scenes, this def wasn’t what I had in mind lol, maybe i will delete it later.

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #fanfic #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader

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sourbinnie · 9 months

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☆ regrets & replacements ☆ (2)

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst with a hopeful ending ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> hyung line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> it's not about making up, it's about owning up to your mistakes. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

a/n -> BEFORE YOU READ ; if you're expecting an angsty ending, this is not gonna please you but if you expected everything to be happy and good in the end, this isn't for you either. i really did try to write a part where they fully make up and i couldn't do it. i don't even if it's my angsty side kicking in or if it's just instinct where i just don't find it possible for that to happen. i also didn't feel like giving in and making it sad as hell because i got requested to do something happy and i'm sorry if i disappointed that person. i literally couldn't do it:( and i'm really sad with myself about this one, i would say this is a neutral ending and i'm gonna leave it at that.

first part -> hyung line

chan ✉

waking up with no chan next to you was rare. your birthday was gone now but not your feelings and that sucked because that meant you would have to talk to chan about what happened. you didn't feel bad about not explaining it to him, you kinda hoped he already realized his mistake but even if he did it wouldn't change the course of things right now.

as you got up and walked to your living room, you saw the never ending pile of gifts. the flowers, the cake, the different things the boys got you and of course your boyfriend chan. he looked tired as hell, bags under his eyes and just overall the energy he usually had wasn't there. he looked at you and sighed when he saw the the reddish eyes from crying but he still had hope in him.

"you know getting me stuff won't make me forgive you that easily channie." you said and chan nodded as he heard your words. he wasn't doing this to earn your forgiveness, he knew he didn't deserve that in the end. but he still wanted you to have a birthday, even if the day had gone by, you deserved a celebration and he would leave if you asked him to because he just respected you that much.

"this isn't for you to forgive me even if i am so fucking sorry. this is because you deserved a good day yesterday and because your boyfriend's an idiot, he ruined that." he muttered and it was your time to nod as you listened to him. there was no easy way to forgive him really because what he did hurt you so deeply and this was beyond just forgetting.

"why did you do that chan? i mean i don't really expect you to always remember my birthday but i wasn't expecting to find out that you spend it with someone who deeply hates me." you explained and felt like you were going to cry again thinking about it. it wasn't fair to you and chan knew better than that, he didn't want to push it but he did want to fix things. losing you was not in his mind right now, he needed to make things right.

"when soohee called me yesterday i left without a comment because i truly was worried that something happened to her. it turned out she broke up with her boyfriend and whatever, begged me to stay with her and everything just went by so fucking fast. i didn't notice anything and i just-." he had to cut himself off because he knew he was rambling and he was desperate to make things okay but he was feeling so broken. thinking about you being all alone and waiting for him to come back was probably gonna haunt him and that made the tears build up in his eyes. "i know i don't deserve it (y/n) but please let me make it right."

you looked at him as you took in everything. you wanted to believe him because you knew chan and you knew how kind hearted he was when it came to his friends. you saw how he realized that soohee wasn't who he thought she was and it's hard losing a friend, you hated that this was all happening and felt absolutely betrayed but you were not heartless and chan crying always made you feel the worst way.

"channie, i don't know if i'm gonna be able to forgive you right now. but i would really like to spend the day with you because i missed you so much yesterday." you said and he could feel himself crying more but understanding. he was so scared that this was gonna be the end but he was given another chance. you got close to him and as soon as you were next to him, he wrapped his arms around you.

"i'll make it right, i promise." he mumbled through tears and you really hoped he would. drying the tears from his face with your thumb as you gave him a little kiss on the lips and he smiled again. it wasn't quite alright yet but the wound would heal eventually.

minho ✉

you knew it wasn't gonna be easy to go through the night all by yourself. of course you had your friends there but usually having minho by your side made things easier. jisung stayed by your side, disappointed in his friend and sad to witness the falling out but he was rooting for him to show up and make things right. the night was still young and he had been texting minho to come over even if you told him not to. jisung knew better though, he could read you and your eyes were always at the door.

when minho arrived at the place, he sighed deeply and prayed that he could fix this. the boys greeted him but jisung had a look on his face of "make this right" and it was scary. he wasn't the type to be afraid but if he did lose you today, that would be his biggest fear coming true and he didn't know what he would do without you.

he saw you looking as beautiful as ever out on the balcony. he had you all alone, he needed to talk and he needed to choose his words carefully before thinking of the worst.

"minho? i told you not to show up." you said but you didn't sound confident in your words. he could tell there was a mix of anger and sadness in your tone and it was all because of him, this wasn't going to be easy.

"i could not miss my partner's birthday even if i screwed up everything." he said and looked at you. you weren't even looking in his direction but he was captured by your beauty every time he glanced at you and it was beyond your outfit and how you did your hair. he got so lucky with you and knowing that this could be the last night he saw you would kill him slowly. "i can't lose you (y/n) and i know everything's beyond wrong right now but i just need you."

"i didn't feel bad that you forgot or even that you were with her of all people. but you lied to me and we've never had an instance where i felt like things were beyond repair but right now i just don't know what to say minho." you said and you didn't want to cry right now but it was all too much. he felt like crying himself as he saw those spill from your eyes because like you said, there wasn't a situation that you lived before where you guys wouldn't make up and he felt you slipping away from him.

"don't say that, i don't deserve you and i should've remembered in the first place. i choose someone who doesn't understand that i met the love of my life already and that i'm not gonna give up on them. i won't put you second ever again (y/n) and i know you probably won't believe me right now but i truly do mean it." he said confidently and you looked at him, meeting his honest eyes. "i lied i know and i thought i was making things better by keeping soohee away from everyone. i cut her off and i know i should've done it sooner."

you took his hand in yours as you looked down. he knew you did this when you were nervous, when you needed to hold or do something to distract you so he just let you.

"i can't forgive you even if i want to because all i wanted was for you to show up and explain yourself." you said and it warmed his heart. even if he let you down, you always believed in him and will always wait for him. "minho i love you, would you give me time?"

"all the time you need, i'll be here waiting for you as long as it takes." he responded and even if it hurt that things went so wrong, there was a glimpse of hope in the end. "i love you more (y/n)." he then said and you kissed his cheek as you headed inside.

changbin ✉

waking up to someone yelling over the phone wasn't really what you had in mind. you went to the living room where all the noise was coming from and you saw changbin looking as tired as he could be. you really didn't expect for him to stay in your apartment and for him to be mad was rare.

"changbin what's going on?" you asked genuinely concerned because even if all the events from yesterday were on your mind, you cared too much about him to not be there if he needed you. on the other hand, changbin couldn't take that you still were looking at him with caring eyes, he deserved to be yelled at and deserved to be kicked out.

"i'm cutting someone out of my life and they didn't make it easy. as soon as they started insulting you, i had to say some things that were not quite nice but i don't regret it." he responded and you could imagine who he was talking about. it still surprised you that he did that because even if you hated her, you knew that changbin in the end cared about her but from how angry he was you could see there was no going back.

"you didn't have to do that changbin." you muttered and he was so sad to hear that, not because of soohee and cutting off their "friendship" but because you genuinely thought he shouldn't have defended you. "i mean it's not like you didn't go there yesterday and spent all day with her when she needed you."

"stop that right now. first of all, i know what i did and i'm always gonna be fucking sorry about not being here with you, celebrating your day and choosing someone who clearly wanted this to happen all along." changbin said and you were glad he was now finally realizing but you also felt like it was too late. "but i'm not gonna hear you say that you don't want me to defend you because i'm always gonna be choosing you even if you want me to go right now, you will always be the one for me. i'm genuinely serious (y/n), i don't want soohee and i'm never gonna want her because i am in love with you."

"and i'm always gonna be in love with you but it doesn't change the fact that you hurt me." you said and he nodded now getting what you meant and how you felt. there might no be going back from this one and he just wanted to disappear right then and there.

"tell me what i can do to fix this. i'll do anything you want me to because i swear i can't live without you." he begged basically and you could hear his voice getting higher pitched. it wasn't common for him to cry and if you saw him cry, you would end up crying as well.

"binnie i don't know. this is not the end and i don't want you to leave, can we pretend for a while that yesterday didn't happen?" you said and he looks at you. his eyes filled with tears but he still finds the strength to hold on to you and give you a hug. you felt like you needed to be in his arms, maybe even more so yesterday than today but right now is all you have and your birthday is long gone.

"i will make it up to you, i swear i will." he whispered as he kissed your forehead. you let the tears go, staining his shirt but he didn't care as long as he had you in his arms where you belonged.

hyunjin ✉

to your dismay and your surprise at the same time, he was knocking at your door an hour later. you knew it was him, he had been spamming your phone ever since you left the building but you couldn't even respond from how disappointed you were. even now you were doubting if you should open the door or leave him knocking all night but you couldn't do that without a neighbor complaining so you decided to head to the entrance and open the door.

"i told you not to come. go back to soohee or whatever you had in mind for today." you said and you wanted to close the door again but he stopped you before you could do it. you looked as he walked into your apartment and took in his appearance. he looked like he almost ripped his hair out and like he had been crying, so pretty much like you did right now.

"i don't even know where to start." he said pacing back and forth and as much as you wanted to hate him, you grabbed his hand and sat down with him before he kept spinning around your apartment. that action alone was enough to calm him down but the glare you were giving him was making him doubt himself all over again. "the only thing i have in mind right now is the fact that i don't want to lose you because i was so fucking stupid."

"you were and i truly don't know how you're gonna get out of this one jinnie. this is beyond it being my birthday just why? why didn't you pick up? why did you show up with her? why didn't you defend me? i feel so stupid." you expressed and the tears were rolling again but so were hyunjin's because he could not stand seeing you cry. you didn't have to feel stupid, he was the stupid one and the one that messed everything up on a special day.

"i didn't pick up because she kept telling me that it was an unknown number calling and hanged it up for me. i showed up with her because she told me she would help me pick up your present at the end of practice and i didn't defend you because i truly wasn't expecting her to say that. i thought she was my friend and i thought she cared about me but i had to kick her out as soon as i saw it all go down." he said in between tears and rambles. you didn't want him to justify himself or his actions but it was nice hearing his side even if you were still very much hurt by everything that happened.

"hyunjin i always told you how i don't want to interfere in your friendships but she has always hated me and you put her first." you said and he nodded, he was already accepting defeat because he truly did fuck it up this time. you pushed the tears away because you didn't feel like crying anymore and yet they wouldn't stop.

"i'll leave, you don't deserve to spend the rest of your birthday with someone who did you wrong." he said and even in all this pain, it still hurt when hyunjin didn't fight it anymore. there was a point in all the fights that you've had where he gave up because he could not take in your anger or your sadness, he just wanted to see you smile again. right now he felt like he was holding back what could be a good day for you because it was still your birthday after all and he didn't want to ruin it anymore.

"hyunjin, stay. i can't say that i'm past it yet but i just wanna be with you right now even after all that happened, i just don't see myself going out celebrating if it's not with you by my side." you said, giving him a little smile through all the tears. he got closer to you as he placed a kiss on your lips which you responded to, the most hurtful one you shared yet.

"i'll stay for as long as you want me to and i'll leave if you need me to." he whispered and you nodded because everything was hurting but his words would always find a way to your heart. his hand on your cheek as he caressed it slowly and you met for another kiss.

#sourbinnie #skz imagines #skz reactions #skz scenarios #skz x you #skz x reader #skz drabbles #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #skz angst #skz #chan x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader

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erinlindsayy · 5 months

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professor || carol danvers

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ . ┊ ⁭You're Carol's designated note taker, and usually the one teaching her a few things. What happens when you give her the wrong set of notes?

➺ warnings: dirty talk, spanking, edging, violent use of straps, carol danvers tops (but I fully believe she's a switch now), umm... general unholiness, bratting, etc.

✧ a/n: surprise... I'm back... more content coming soon... I promise I've got a val/carol/r fic coming soon, but this popped into my head and I couldn't resist... JOCK COLLEGE CAROL, OK? JOCK RUGBY COLLEGE CAROL.

↬ like this work? let me know! comments help encourage writers to write more and let them know that you liked what they wrote :)

★ requests are open–I write for a number of fandoms! just ask :)

☆ comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated ☆

“Can any of you attempt to discern meaning from this week’s assigned reading? Why might I have selected this particular work for you all?” asks Professor Valkyrie, starting class for the day. Your hand immediately raises, and she nods in your direction.

“Well, was not Beckett’s entire point to find meaning in the absence of conventional meaning?”

Professor Valkyrie, nods.

‘Interesting thought,” she says. “Care to elaborate?”

“Well,” you begin. “Beckett created a landscape for us that is so alien and foreign, and unlike what we know. The play does not include any symbolic elements, and it does not really go anywhere. You might try to make meaning out of the carrot that Didi and Gogo share, or the leaves appearing on the tree, but they literally mean nothing. At the end of the play--we, as well as Vladimir and Estragon, are all still waiting for Godot. So, in a sense, there is no meaning, but perhaps there is meaning in the fact that there is no intended meaning.”

“Good,” replies Professor Valkyrie. “As always, a carefully articulated and thoroughly crafted response. Excellent work as usual.”

You smile politely, and fall back into your seat as Professor Valkyrie continues to lecture about Samuel Beckett and the wonderful nature and reality of Waiting for Godot.

Meanwhile, you’ve jotted at the top of your notes, in big bold letters ‘I hate this play!’

After all, the ability to just to understand and converse about a work of literature does not mean that one has to enjoy it.

After class, you’re stopped, as usual, by the one and only Carol Danvers. Resident jock, captain of the division one team, aspiring pilot, rumored sex god extrodinare, Carol Danvers. She’s quite the legend around campus, but not exactly for her work ethic as it pertains to academic pursuits, which are... lacking, to put it politely.

“Do you have my notes for me,” she asks, holding her hand out. “I need to at least act like I’m going to study tonight, right?”

You roll your eyes. “Carol, why do you ask for my notes if you never use them? You do realize that mere possession of the notes will not translate into you understanding the material, yes? You have to actually read them in order for the information to enter your head.”

Your reply is snarky, short and snappy, but you’re fed up with Carol at this point. She asks you for notes in all the classes you share together (which, granted, is not many,) but never seems to read them or take any of her classes very seriously. Carol narrows her eyes at the response.

“I’ll just sleep on them? Os--”

You cut her off, finishing her sentence.

“--mosis does not apply, Carol. You know that. You cannot absorb the material through the pores of your skin. Read the notes, and actually try for once, or stop bothering me. I could be taking notes for myself, rather than focusing on summarizing all of the lectures so that you can stuff them into your bag, never to see the light of day again. Don’t ask me for notes again unless you’re ready to be serious.”

With that, you hastily pull out a few papers from your bag, not bothering to double check if they were the correct ones or not. You shove the papers into Carol’s and turn away sharply, not bothering to look back. Granted, you were headed in the completely wrong direction, but you weren’t about to give Carol the satisfaction of seeing your face again.

Of course, Carol knows that you hardly need notes for your own purposes. Summarizing the lectures for her provides you with the information you need to keep your own mind sharp, with years of literary study and reading filling in the blanks to broader context for you. But still, you love to hassle her. Carol does feel guilty occasionally, knowing how much work you put into the notes you take for her. They’re always organized, and you write important little tidbits down in the margins. She always glances at them, but can never bring herself to actually study the notes.

Tonight is different. Carol is inspired, reenergized by your scathing talk. She sits down at her desk, and finally pulls out the notes you gave her. She reads the first line, and laughs to herself.

These definitely weren’t the notes she meant to give me, she thinks to herself.

_______________________________________________________________________

You’re startled out of your evening study session by a loud ding from your phone. Normally, you wouldn’t check your phone in the middle of studying, but you’re intrigued.

Your jaw drops slightly when you notice that the text is from Carol.

8:57 hey. I’ve got a question about the notes

You’re shocked. Carol actually... read the notes?

9:00 Shoot for it. How can I help?

9:01 Well. The notes weren’t really on Waiting for Godot

9:04 Oh. Did I give you a repeat copy of last weeks’?

9:05 Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that they’re standard academic notes

You roll your eyes at her comment, typing out a harsh response before deleting it and sending a far more cordial reply.

9:06 Oh?

9:07 Well, for starters, I don’t think that Waiting for Godot has anything to do with sex.

Attached to her text is a picture of your recent exploration of the things that turned you on, or as you aptly named it “An empirical study of the things that make me wet.”

You’d never meant for anyone to see it, ever. It was purely a list of the things that you desperately wanted to try, things you enjoyed watching and reading, various things that interested you.

You’d written the list mostly as a joke, as a way to get the ideas out of your head. You wondered how it even found your way into your backpack, and you’re ready to curl up into a ball and cry when Carol texts you again.

9:13 I could help you, you know

9:14 I have a few things that I could teach you

9:15 What do you say we make a deal?

You swallow thickly, intrigued.

9:17 What sort of deal?

9:19 You teach me literature.

9:21 I’ll fulfill your deepest fantasies. (And take you out on a date ;) )

You blink slowly, unable to process the words appearing on your screen. A date? Lessons in sex? It all seems to be far too much to handle, and you’re not sure if Carol is serious. The prospect is alluring, however, and you can’t help but admit that you’ve had the tiniest (largest) of crushes on Carol ever since you saw her in that signature leather jacket of hers, kicking her legs up against the desk in front of her, even if your feelings were against your better judgment. You knew she was aware of this fact, and the way you were always angry around him for some odd reason.

9:24 If this is a joke, it isn’t funny, Carol.

9:30 I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow. Be ready. We’re getting pasta.

__________________________________________________________________________

“So. You want to be a pilot, but now you’re here playing rugby and studying literature?”

Carol shrugs.

“My best friend Maria and I were supposed to enlist together, but some shit happened and he needed me to stick around. I’ve always been good at rugby even though my dad hated that I played sports, and so I stuck around here. Got a full scholarship for rugby, and put the dream of flying aside. The academy will always be there. It’s not what I wanted, but it’s what Maria needed. I couldn’t just leave her when she needed me most.”

You smile softly at Carol, shocked by her sudden display of emotion. She’s clearly conflicted, and her eyes drift up to the sky, staring wistfully at the dimming horizon.

“I think that’s very brave of you, Carol. You’re a really good friend,” you say, reaching out to place a hand atop hers in a sudden burst of confidence. The evening had been oddly pleasant, and conversation flowed between the two of you. Granted, Carol was still somewhat of an egotistical jerk, but she was obviously emotionally conflicted, and she had sacrificed her biggest dream to help her closest friend when she needed it most.

Carol looks down at your hand, tensing up for a second before flipping her palm to meet yours and giving your hand a quick squeeze.

“I’m alright, ok? I don’t want you worrying about me.”

You nod. Carol smiles, and moves to stand up.

“What do you say we get out of here, and head back to my place? Maybe watch a movie?”

You smile, nodding at Carol. “I’d like that a lot,” you whisper. “I’d like that.”

Carol holds her hand out to you, helping you up out of your chair. You move to pull your hand out of hers, assuming she meant to just assist you up, but she holds on firmly as the two of you walk back to her vintage red Mustang.

The drive back to her apartment is filled with throwbacks from the 90s, widows open and hair wild. You’re both singing the words of the songs obnoxiously, relishing in the sweet freedom of the open night.

When you finally reach her apartment, your eyes are bright and your hair is messy. You look over at Carol, messy hair strewn about. You begin to laugh uncontrollably, with Carol joining shortly after upon seeing your own windblown look.

When the laughter finally succeeds, you look over at Carol to find her gazing at you intently. You laugh apprehensively, but Carol’s gaze does not falter.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful,” she asks.

You nod your head slowly. “Not really, no.”

“But you had a boyfriend?”

You nod. “It wasn’t really the best of situations. I’ve since come to many realizations about myself since then.”

Carol smiles. “Well, then I guess I’ll just have to tell you as many times as I possibly can to make up for the lack of times you’ve been told that.”

“Carol, I don’t even know how to respond to that,” you sputter out.

“So don’t.”

Carol leans in over the middle of the car, hesitantly pressing her lips against yours in a tender kiss. You’re surprised at first, but you lean into the kiss, melting against her mouth. Your hands tangle in her already messy hair, and you smile against her lips. The kiss intensifies as your hands begin to roam down Carol’s back, fingers itching to explore. She pulls her hands off of you, smiling softly.

“Let’s head inside, Princess. We can have a lot more fun in my bedroom than we ever will out here.”

You nod your head, eagerly anticipating the next steps.

When you reach her apartment, he leads you past the kitchen, flipping on various light switches as she heads through the living room, finally reaching her bedroom. It’s surprisingly neat, with framed photos of her and a woman that you guessed was her friend Maria. There’s a small pin shaped like a sort of star resting atop her desk, with a framed photo of an adorable orange kitten. Her bed is neatly made, and the room is incredibly put together.

“You like it, huh?”

You jump, startled by Carol’s voice.

“Yeah. Um, it’s very nice,” you reply. “Super neat.”

Carol laughs.

“Yeah, for all my disorganization at school, I do like to keep my apartment pretty tidy.”

Carol walks over to her desk and picks up your list.

“I think this belongs to you, my darling. We don’t have to do anything with it, or even speak of it again should you so wish that to be the case.”

You bite your lip, considering your options.

“Were you really serious, Carol?”

Your heart is beating fast, and your palms are beginning to grow clammy.

She laughs.

“Of course I was serious, Princess. Why would I offer if I wasn’t?”

You look down, mumbling your answer out.

“I didn’t really think someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me, honestly.”

Carol laughs, walking over to you. She gently tilts your chin up, meeting your eyes.

“Hey. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, and you drive me up a wall when you’re yelling at me to fucking finally read your notes, as you so kindly put it in your own words. Of course I would be interested in a girl like you. You’re incredible.”

She kisses you softly, slipping hers hands underneath your sweater. Breaking away for a second, she whispers to stop her if anything is too much. Green for go, she says. Red for stop.

Her hands roam up your body, making their way up to your neck. She gently squeezes at the column of your throat, whispering in your ear.

“I noticed you had this on your list, Princess. I did read your notes this time, and I did study up. I know all the things that could make you tick. And yet, I still want to hear you tell me what you want. You want me to choke you? Squeeze your throat till you’re begging me to stop?”

“Yes, please,” you moan out.

“Then use your words, Princess. Mmm... and what else should we do today? What other things from your little list do you want to try? I know you don’t want to start off simple... You even said so yourself. Tell me with your words, Princess. Tell me what you want.”

You gasp, head tipping back as Carol’s hands resume their exploration of your body.

“Cat got your tongue, Princess? Normally you’re so vocal during class... Why change now?”

You moan again, unable to speak properly as Carol’s fingers find your nipples, gently pinching. He pinches harder when you are unable to answer her question.

Moving hers hand to cup your jaw, he harshly tilts your face to look at him.

“Answer me, Princess. I’m growing impatient and I don’t have all day. Normally you’re so quick to answer. What a shame.”

“Put me in my place, please,” you gasp out, voice breaking. “I want you to edge me and spank me and punish me and tell me what a naughty little girl I’ve been, touching myself to the thought of you. I want to eat you out while I’m forced to touch myself, unable to cum without your permission. I want you to choke me as you pound me into the mattress with your cock, reminding me of my place. I want to be your good little girl, moaning only your name as you show me who I belong to.”

Carol smirks.

“I’ll be honest—I always knew you had a thing for me. You weren’t exactly discreet. The secret is, I had a thing for you too. I wasn’t expecting you to write about me in your notes, though. And I definitely wasn’t expecting you to write something like that ever. Our little teacher’s pet, our good little girl, the smartest girl in class—and such filthy thoughts! Didn’t take me long to figure out who the mysterious blonde figure was. You wrote some pretty explicit stuff in there, Princess. You’re such a filthy little whore... So many dirty thoughts! Imagine if those notes had fallen into the wrong hands...”

Carol’s hands dip to the edge of your sweater, swiftly pulling it off of your body. She cocks an eyebrow at you upon seeing the lacy navy blue bodysuit underneath that you’d specifically selected for tonight.

“Did you wear this just for me?”

You nod.

“Good girl. I like the way you think. Now, take off those pants for me. While you’re at it, get rid of that lacey little thing. It’s pretty, but you’re prettier.”

You obey her quickly, shedding every stitch of clothing from your body. You’re trembling with excitement and anticipation, and you’re nervous as Carol’s eyes rake up and down your body.

“Stunning,” she says, never taking her eyes off of your body. “You’re absolutely perfect. I can’t wait to teach you how to be a good little slut for me... you’re such a good learner. Wonder if that translates in the bedroom?”

You groan, rolling your eyes. “Why don’t you shut up and find out already?”

Carol laughs condescendingly.

“You sure you want to mouth off like that, Princess?”

You nod. “You seem to be all talk right now, and no action.”

Carol growls. “We can change that. I don’t tolerate brats around here. Brats get punished. If you’re a good girl, you get rewarded. Which is it going to be tonight, Princess. I need an answer.”

You roll your eyes without even thinking. “Just fuck me already, Carol.”

Carol tangles her hand in your hair, pulling your head back. “I told you that brats get punished. It looks like you've selected the brat role tonight. Get on your fucking hands and knees. I’m not going to ask you a second time.”

You quickly obey, scrambling onto your hands and knees. You wiggle your ass slightly, but Carol firmly holds it in place.

“Stop. Now, since this is your first time, I’m going to take it easy on you. We are only going to do ten, but mark my words, if you pull this sort of bratting on me again, I can and will increase that number. Now, I want you to count.”

The first strike comes faster than you were expecting, but it does not hurt as much as you thought it would.

“One,” you gasp out.

Carol strikes again, harder this time.

“Two,” you gasp out again.

He continues, hitting a bit harder each time, and your ass is red by the finish.

“Good girl,” she whispers in the shell of your ear. “You took your first punishment so well for me—it is almost like you were made to do this...”

She ghosts her fingers lightly over your neck, drifting down to your collarbone before moving her hands to gently massage the soft tissue of your breasts.

With a gentle slap to your aching ass, she gives you a new set of instructions.

“Now. For our next lesson, you’re going to suck me off. The better you do, the less edges I’ll give you tonight. I hope you’ve been studying, Princess. Either that, or you just better wish that this comes naturally for you.”

Carol swiftly pulls her pants and boxers down and throws her shirt to the side, revealing her toned abs and muscled back. You can see her muscles ripple as she stretches her arms above her head to take her shirt off. Your jaw goes slightly slack at the sight of her perfect nude figure.

“Close your mouth, Princess. You’ll catch flies.”

You blush. “Sorry, Carol. You’re just so beautiful.”

Carol winks. “I can tell, Princess. Your eyes haven’t left my torso.”

You giggle, but quickly stop when Carol moves directly in front of you.

“Test time, Princess. Hope you’ve studied. But, if you haven’t, I’ll allow for retakes. Think of this one as a pretext, if you will. How much do I need to teach you when it comes to this particular subject?”

You moan at her words, mouth salivating. You’re desperate to touch her, to run your tongue over her strap. Carol leans down to press a quick kiss upon your lips, immediately guiding your face to her strap after. You’re unsure of what to do at first, the feeling foreign upon your tongue. Eventually, you begin to find your rhythm, head bobbing as you introduce a hand to match your rhythm. You continue your tiny kitten licks, timing them with the thrust of your fingers. Carol is silent for the most part, but every so often she breaks her stoic silence with a loud moan or gasp when you hit a particularly sensitive spot against her body. You grind against the pillow that Carol has placed between your legs, annoyed with the lack of friction you got, but thankful to have anything at all. Your tongue continues its way along Carol’s strap, body quivering with pleasure.

It isn’t long before she’s moaning continuously.

After all, you have always been a very quick learner.

Carol pulls away, and you whimper at the loss of contact. She messily kisses you, groaning at the taste of herself on your tongue.

“For your first time, that was surprisingly good.”

You beam in satisfaction.

“However, I’m still going to edge you at least five times.”

You whimper.

“But Carol—“

“No buts, pretty girl. It’s for your own pleasure, alright? It’s good to practice delayed gratification. Now, get over there on the back of the bed for me. Spread those legs as wide as you can. I want that dripping cunt of yours on display.”

You move off of your pillow, following her instructions. Carol walks over to you, hovering over you on the bed as she cages your body with her arms.

“I want to hear every moan you make,” she growls. “Don’t hold back on me, Princess.”

You nod.

“Yes, Carol.”

Carol smiles and strokes a single finger through your dripping folds. You shudder. The feeling of her soft fingertips against your throbbing core is heavenly, and you’re unable to hide from the breathless moan that escapes your mouth.

Carol continues to slide her fingers through the folds of your cunt, relishing in the puffy texture as she explores. Her fingers trace small circles here and there, dipping into your soaking hole when she feels like doing so, pinching your clit, edging you into oblivion.

You ask her to cum numerous times, but she always pulls away. Finally, she pulls away for the last time.

“You can cum this time, Princess. But I want to cum on my cock for me like a good little slut, alright? I want you to scream my name for me. Let the whole world know you’re mine now.”

You nod, moaning at her filthy words. She carefully lines up with you and thrusts in quickly, giving you a chance to adjust to the size and foreign feeling of the cock inside of you.

When you nod at her, she begins to thrust her hips at an ungodly pace, hitting that perfect spot inside of you that makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. She moves one hand to your clit, rubbing tight little circles over the throbbing organ, and her other hand moves to your throat, lightly pressing down. She’s pushing you into the mattress, firmly grinning the column of your neck as her hips thrust faster and faster.

“You like it when I choke you? When your brain starts to go a little bit foggy and you can’t tell if it’s from the sex or lack of air? You like it when I tell you what a good little slut you are, taking my cock like such a good little Princess, showing how well you learn and how well you take instruction?”

“Yes,” you manage to gasp out in between moans. “Please, fuck me harder.”

Although it seemed humanly impossible, Carol managed to fuck you harder. The relentless snap of her hips grew faster, thrusts hitting further and further inside of you each time. The hand rubbing your clit runs faster, harder, and just before you’re about to rip over the edge, Carol whispers in your ear.

“Cum for me, Princess. Cum like the good little girl you are.”

You scream out in ecstasy as you tip over the edge, collapsing against the mattress. Carol pulls out, falling into bed next to you, wrapping her arms around you as she presses kisses to your neck and collarbone, drifting up to your forehead.

“You did so well, Princess. You’re such a good learner. Looks like you’re just as good in here as you are in a classroom.”

You smile.

“I try my best. Honestly, that’s all I can ever do.”

Carol smiles.

“A good attitude to have. Now, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

A few snacks, some water, and one blissful shower later, you’re dressed in Carol’s old sweatpants and sweatshirt as you climb into bed beside him. She’d invited you to stay the night, and you hadn’t been able to resist. Carol flips the lights off, pressing a delicate, featherlight kiss to your forehead.

As you lay in bed however, you remember an important fact.

“I still have to teach you all of literature,” you mumble.

Carol laughs softly.

“And I have many things to teach you still, darling. But for now, sleep.”

You smile, closing your eyes as you feel Carol’s grip on you grow stronger.

Literature could wait until tomorrow.

#carol danvers smut #carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #captain marvel x reader #captain marvel smut #god i cannot believe i am back here #holy hell #help lmaooooo

634 notes · View notes

heartsoji · 1 year

Text

haikyuu boys with an s/o who's really scared of horror movies

pairings: iwaizumi x reader, oikawa x reader, tsukishima x reader, bokuto x reader

a/n: lol this is me i actually cannot with horror like at all

warnings: post-timeskip in iwaizumi's

iwaizumi hajime

iwaizumi's pretty good with horror movies

occasionally, he'll be a little caught off-guard with a sudden jumpscare, but he's pretty much fine otherwise

now YOU..

you are not ok.

you are screaming, hiding, and tearing up

he honestly doesn't really understand what's so scary about them

since i hc iwaizumi to be a realist, he'd be like

it's a movie. it was filmed. those are actors. it's so obvious none of that stuff could ever happen in real life

still, he understands that you're really scared and tries his best to comfort you

time to put those beefy athletic trainer arms to work

he lets you cling onto them for the whole movie and lets you use then as a stress ball

iwaizumi's a traditional, old school, cheesy hopeless romantic. convince me otherwise.

therefore, his method of comfort usually comes in the form of soothing words and back rubs in his arms

its actually quite nice. he lets you scream into his titties (HE HAS TITTIES AND THEYRE MORE ROCK SOLID THAN REGINA GEORGE'S MOM'S. CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.)

when you're truly scared scared (like heart pounding, sobs racking ur body, you're def gonna get rlly bad nightmares type of scared scared)

he will probs turn it off bc he thinks that no movie ending is worth this much terror

he cares about you a lot, after all. he thinks its slightly amusing when you're screaming your head off at the obviously fake blood, but he would never want you to be fearful for real

rubs your back and whispers soothing words into your ear

"its ok" "i'm right here" "don't worry, i'd protect you if they ever came" type of stuff

after you've calmed down a bit, he'll try to make you laugh

jokes, tickles, anything, really!

he hates seeing you scared. he just wants you to be happy

10/10. marry me sir.

oikawa tooru

lol

hate to break it to you but

tooru is equally as scared of horror movies

you guys have to cuddle up in blanket burritos together and scream at every jumpscare

honestly you both only make it through the movie through sheer willpower

if you're crying, he'll try to comfort you, but tbh he's pretty damn scared himself

however, once the movie is over, he's totally fine

movie forgotten. out of memories. what movie should you guys watch next?

but YOU

you're still crying

you're still really shaken up

you're def gonna have nightmares

he takes that opportunity to be the manly man he is and swoops you up bridal style

he's very charming. he looks at you in the most dazzling, heart-melting way

lol boy u were just crying too stfu

he cuddles you close, and just like iwa, whispers sweet words into your ear

however, unlike iwa, they're much more...childish? playful? how to describe them..

"it'll be ok. your big, strong, boyfriend will protect anything that tries to hurt his princess" "*dramatic gasp* YOU DON'T THINK I'M CAPABLE OF FIGHTING IT OFF BY MYSELF? HOW COULD YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME LIKE THIS? THIS.. THIS IS BETRAYAL" "they don't even look that strong. im sure i could hit a volleyball at one and it would rip into two!"

stuff like that

he would make sure to cuddle you extra close that night

overall, he's pretty fun and is good at making everything seem less serious. 8.5/10!

tsukishima kei

honestly, he's as affected by horror movies at the average guy

he doesn't find them as terrifying as oikawa, but he's definitely not as unaffected as iwaizumi

but you'd never know that

why?

he just hides his emotions really, really well

also he just sometimes focuses on the wall behind the tv and drowns out the voices

he just sits through them and bears them, basically

now, why? why in the world would he do this when he doesn't even enjoy it?

to make fun of you, duh. shouldn't that have been obvious?

when you leap 30ft out of your seat into the air, he laughs at you

he'll even add onto your fear by like grazing your opposite shoulder when you aren't looking and pretending he didn't do it

hes a brat

but honestly, he partially enjoys it when you spring onto him at the jump scares, no matter how much he denies it

as we all know, the boys a lil shy about asking for affection

with horror movies, he gets your affection without even asking for it! yay!

but once the movies over, if you're really shaken up, he'll use his giant beanpole arms and spoon you until you fall asleep

but then he'll be an ass about it the following week

pokes, grabs, jabs you and will say,

"huh? it wasn't me. maybe it was the (wtv villain or ghost or spirit or wtv from the movie)!"

2/10. makes fun of you and makes the movie even scarier tbh. the 2 points r only bc of the comfort he gives after its over.

bokuto koutaro

like most things in life, bokuto goes between two extremes, and never crosses into the middle

he's either having super insane cut shots that go BOOM

OR he's doing awful and is in his emo mode

same thing with this

he either isn't affected by it at all and just laughs

or he screams when the character breathes a lil too heavily

now, if he thinks the movie's not scary at all, he's pretty good to watch with if you're super scared

during the scary parts, he lets you cling onto his beefy arm while he just watches the movie in amusement

like there's a really scary scene where there's a huge jumpscare into the most climatic scene in the movie and you're burying your face into his arm but in the background you just hear:

"HAHAHAHAHA! Y/N Y/N! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! HE'S...HE'S GETTING CHASED BY THIS GREY LITTLE CHILD! HAHAHAHA ITHIHIHIT'S EYES LOOK LIKE TAPIOCAAHAHAAHA"

"oh the grey little child is smiling! it's kinda cute! why is the main character guy sweating? he looks like me right after a long game"

"why'd the grey little child pull a purple thing out of his throat? what's that? i wonder what it tastes like though..i think it would be a thick gummy texture, but maybe a little gooey on the inside. definitely grape-flavored. the really sweet artificial good one. oh.. now i want a gummy!"

yeah

he definitely makes it less scary because he makes all the scary stuff seem really stupid

honestly pretty nice. you might not get as many nightmares because of him

now

when he's terrified, he's more terrified than you

*main character sneezes* "AHHHHHHH"

think oikawa x 800

mhm

honestly, you kind of have to take the comfort role even though you're deathly afraid of horror movies

"kou, he's just walking. its ok."

honestly he makes it seem less scary like this too because it forces you to see why the movie isn't actually that scary because you have to find out the reasons to comfort him

8.7/10. a sweetie

2K notes · View notes

lunajay33 · 2 months

Text

New World🪵🍂

Summary: You grew up in a crappy town with one friend who kept you going, everything started to fall into place, that’s until the world ended and the dead ruled the world

•Masterlist•

I just came home from teaching, throwing myself down on the couch, usually Daryl stops by every night for supper and it’s been a tradition we have continued every night since I came back from college

I hated leaving but I needed to get out of this shitty town for a bit, and when I got the opportunity to come back and teach I had to, I couldn’t be apart from Daryl, my best friend, anymore

We’ve been friends since his mom died, my parents told me about his mom and so the next day in school I sat with him at lunch and from then on we have been inseparable, sure he was a hard nut to crack but after that he was the sweetest kindest person I’ve ever met

As I got up to start dinner the door burst open and Daryl and Merle came running in frantic

“Guys what’s wrong?” I asked worried

“Ya need to get yer fine ass movin” Merle laughed

I never liked Merle he was a terrible person and a terrible brother

“We need to go..now” Daryl said grabbing a bag off my counter and throwing a bunch of food in it before taking my hand and dragging me to his truck while Merle got on his bike

“Daryl what’s going on you’re scaring me” my voice trembled as he started up the truck and followed Merle down a back road out of town

“Shits happenin, people are dyin, comin back and eatin everyone, we just gotta get outta here” he said taking my hand in his

“Oh god…..well where are we going”

“Up to that quarry I took ya to last summer, it’ll be far away enough from the city and we got fresh water, don’ worry sunshine I’ll keep ya safe” he said giving me a reassuring squeeze

It was silent for most of the drive all I could hear was the blood pumping in my ears, how could this be happening? What was going to happen now, everything was just falling into place, me and Daryl were just planning to go on a trip to Tennessee too but I guess that’s down the drain

Everything I imagined for my life felt like it was slipping away

“Remember that first day we became friends?” I asked trying to distract myself

“Yeah, ya came and sat with me at lunch, had that green dress on and lil matching bows in yer hair, ya were my first friend, glad ya came up to me that day” he smiled looking at me

“I’m glad too, you were so scared and a blushing mess when I was talking to you, it was adorable then I gave you my cookies and you finally opened up to me” I laughed remembering him snatching my pouch of cookies when I held it out to him

“I wouldn’ cute” he groaned

“Come on Daryl you were adorable you still are” I teased loving how he was getting red

“Stop that” he gentle pushed me making me laugh

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a long drive we finally made it to the quarry only to find a few people already camped out but thankfully they allowed I three to stay given Daryl and Merle’s hunting abilities

As daryl and Merle were setting up the tent I went around getting to know everyone and asking them what they knew about everything, it’s been scary everyone’s experience and lucky I had Daryl to get me out safely

As the sun got closer to setting I and the air was cooling I helped Lori clean some fish as she laid it over the fire

“Do you need anymore help?” I asked tired

“No dear you go relax for now we will come get you when everything’s ready” she smiled

I smiled and nodded as I made my way over to the tent, unzipping it I found Daryl and Merle having a heated conversation

I stepped in and took my usual place next to Daryl on his sleeping bag

“What’s going on?”

“There’s lots of folks here I say we jack all there stuff and get outta here ‘fore the sun rises” Merle said smirking

“Come on Merle these are good people we need to stick together and we are in a good place can we just see how things go I don’t wanna leave”

“Damn pussy, I knew we shouldn’ have come and got ya” he groaned as he left the tent

I sighed and turned to look at Daryl and of course he had a defeated look

“It’ll be okay Daryl! I’ve gone around and they seem like a good group to be with everyone carries their own part, we can make it work” I smiled trying to cheer him up

He didn’t say anything which was typical but I was fine with that I knew he wasn’t much of a talker I just hoped my words got through to him a bit

“So…..where am I sleeping tonight” I asked trying to avert the conversation

“Ya can take my sleepin bag I got a blanket I can use” he said looking back at the little thin blanket by the sleeping bag

“No daryl it’s your sleeping bag I can take the blanket”

“Nah ya ain’t doin that”

“Well….i mean the sleeping bag is big enough for us both to fit” I said feeling the heat rise to my cheeks, but it’s not like daryl and I have never shared a bed, we’ve had many sleepovers as kids when his dad was being an ass but this felt…..different

He shrugged his shoulder “sure might get cold tonigh’ anyways” always the survival man

“Okay umm….dinner should be ready soon we should go set up around the fire” i said standing up and pulling my shoes back on, I looked back at him and he was just staring

“Ya coming?”

“Ya I’ll be out soon” he said grunting as if clearing his voice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daryl’s pov

Me and Merle were coming back from hunting when we safe people on the sidewalks being torn apart, guts everywhere, people screaming and and we knew we had to get outta here

“We gotta get away from these things, we’ll stop by the house get some shit, my bike and we will head to the quarry” Merle said speeding to our crappy house

After we got everything I stopped Merle

“We gotta get y/n, I can’ leave her”

“Nah leave that slut here, just gonna slow us down”

“Man im gettin her, ya either follow me or not but im gettin her” I groaned as I hoped in the truck and drove off the her place

After I got her she was so panicked but tried not to show it but I could see it in the way she acted, I’ll do anything to keep her safe even if I gotta but my life on the line, she everything to me and has been the only one to keep me going, she’s my sunshine

~~~~~~~~

Normal POV

I got a seat on a log pushed up close to the fire some were sitting around as there was two fires going to keep the flames not as big

Finally Daryl came out and I pat the spot next to me while he laid a blanket over my shoulders

“Thank you” I smiled he always showed his friendship to me in little ways and they always made me feel warm inside

I handed him a plate of fish and some random vegetables the group has found

“So y/n, how long have you guys been together?” Jacqui asked startling me with such a question

“What?”daryl asked confused

“You and y/n, you’re a couple aren’t you, you both seem like the perfect couple” she smiled

“Oh no he’s my best friend, been friends since we were 9, barely been apart”

I looked at Daryl and he was clearly uncomfortable and the people around us could sense it as well so they carried on with their own conversations

After we finished eating he stood up and left towards the tent, I sat my plate ontop of his and thanked the girls for supper and headed of towards the tent as well

“Can I come in?” I asked at the tent door

“Ya” he grunted as I heard him shuffle around

I unzipped it seeing him changed into more comfortable clothes sitting on his sleeping bag

I zipped the tent back up and smiled

“Maybe I should have packed some clothes quickly before we left now I gotta sleep in jeans”

He shuffled through his bag and pulled out one of my big night shirts

“Where’d you get this?” I asked confused

“When ya come over for the night sometimes ya left a few things and I kept them just incase, thought I’d bring em along” he shrugged

“Thank god for those sleepovers then, mind if I change in here?” I asked taking the shirt from him

“Sure” he turned as I started to unzip my pants and pull off my shirt, quick to haul the oversized shirt over my head as I came down to the middle of my thigh

I folded up my jeans and “day” shirt and laid it by his bag

“K I’m done” he turned and started to crawl his way into the sleeping bag

He opened one side and waited for me me to join, it was snug but with the chilly night air god was it warm, I turned so my back was to his chest so we could fit more comfortably and he laid his arm over my waist

“Where’s Merle?” I asked not having seen him all night

“Said he was going down to the quarry must have wanted to get his own fish er somethin?” I hummed in understanding feeling my eyelids getting heavier

“Daryl….please don’t ever leave me” I said finally understanding the weight of everything and that this is probably gonna be our forever world now

He grabbed my waist and held me closer

“I ain’ never leavin ya”

My heart felt a bit later after such a strenuous day

“Good night Daryl” I said as I laid my hand ontop of his

“Night sunshine”

—-///—-///—-///—-///—-///—-

How is everyone liking the first chapter of this new series! I’ve very excited for this story! If you wanna be part of the taglist lmk!!

Taglist: @ghostboneswrites

Part 2<-

#daryl dixion imagine #twd daryl #daryl dixon #twd fanfiction #twd x reader #twd fluff #twd rick #twd michonne #twd negan #daryl dixon fluff #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon series #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x female reader

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sturniozo · 4 months

Text

Tutor Part Five

NOT PROOFREAD

masterlist

It’s the weekend after the game and I can’t help but lay in bed and do nothing. What do I even do? I could study or read,

I could play video games or shop online. I probably shouldn’t shop online though. I end up blowing my whole paycheck each time.

No, the options were not suitable. There was only one thing I really wanted to do and that was hang out with Chris. It’s crazy to me, I usually want to be around Nick, since he’s my best friend. But this time all I can think about is Chris.

Did he really mean it when he said he wanted to hang out this weekend? I guess there’s only one way to find out. I’d have to text him and ask.

Text him.

Just text him.

I stare at my phone, screaming internally to get myself to text him. But I just stay staring at my phone.

Text him.

TEXT HIM.

I sigh. It’s not going to happen. I lay back down on my bed, but as soon as my head hits the pillow my phone starts to ring. I jolt up and slip off my bed, landing on the floor. I pluck my phone from my bed and answer the call without even getting off the floor or looking at who called me?

“Hello?” I ask.

“Hey, y/n you free tonight?” Chris. Damn the butterflies in my stomach. God how do I respond? I need to think of something. Yes I’m free, I’m always free on weekends. Of course I’m free.

“Not really.”

What the fuck.

“Oh damn, I thought you’d wanna hang out tonight. Come over and watch a movie with me, Matt and Nick.”

I can. I totally can. I’d love to, in fact.

“Sorry, I can’t tonight.”

You fucking liar.

“That’s too bad. What are you doing tonight?”

Great. Just great. What are you gonna say to that?

“Just stuff.”

I have no words for how stupid I am.

“Stuff, really? Stuff that’s so important you can’t do it later and come watch a movie with us?”

No, it’s not important it’s nothing.

“Yep.”

I hate myself.

“Well. I see. I’ll talk to you later then.”

Don’t go.

“Yep. Bye Chris.”

He hangs up and I throw my phone. I roll over on the floor and cover my face with my hands.

God I’m a dumbass.

Before I can do anything else my phone rings again. This time I’m smart enough to check who’s calling.

Nick.

God now I’m in trouble. I answer it quickly and before I can say anything Nick speaks.

“You’re not busy doing ‘stuff’ what the fuck are you blowing us off for?” He says bitterly.

“Nothing. I don’t know why I said any of that I just… It was Chris that asked and I wasn’t thinking and-“

“He thinks you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him.”

“I know you’re obsessed with him. You have a shrine to him in your closet.”

“I do not. Shut up.”

“Come watch the damn movie with us. Spend the night.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

“You better some up with something good to spare Chris’s feelings.”

“Tell him I’m sorry.” I beg.

“Just come over and do it yourself.” Nick says before hanging up.

I get to their house and know on the door. I’m almost immediately greeted by Chris.

“Hey, y/n!” He says as he smiles at me. He steps back to let me in the house. I walk in and he closes the door behind me.

We walk into the kitchen where Nick and Matt are preparing snacks.

“Y/n you’re here!” Nick says. He holds up the bowl of popcorn. “Ready for movie night?”

“Oh yeah, definitely.” I respond. We all walk to the living room and sit down on the couch. Matt puts on the movie they had pulled up and ready.

Chris sits next to me and places his arm over my shoulders. I try to stay calm and look as if it doesn’t affect me.

Throughout the movie Chris continues to scoot closer and closer to me, until his arm is wrapped fully around my waist and has me pulled so the sides of our bodies are pressed together. My face is covered with blush so I try to hide my face from his view so he doesn’t know how much he affects me.

Movie night lasts for three more movies, and by then it’s 3 am. Matt went to bed in the middle of the last movie, unable to hold out tho whole time. At the end of the last movie, Chris stands up and holds his hand out for me.

At this point i was tired and groggy. I take Chris’s hand without a second thought.

“Wanna go sleep in my room tonight?” He mumbles close to my ear as his arm wraps around my waist, keeping me steady.

This catches me off guard, and I look up at him in shock. “Wh-what? I thought I was gonna sleep in Nicks room, like always.”

“Nicks cool with it, aren’t you Nick?”

“It’s whatever.” Nick replies. Chris turns back to me.

“See, he’s cool with it.”

“But… I’m not.” I say and look down.

“Is this about what I said yesterday after the game? I didn’t mean it like that, I swear. I’d never objectify you like that. I just meant, y’know, you looked hot.”

“Chris it’s not about that.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I just… I’d rather sleep in Nick’s room.”

“Oh. I just thought. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I would just rather be with my best friend tonight.”

“Maybe some other night then?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay well, goodnight y/n.”

“Goodnight Chris.”

Chris walks off to his bedroom and I join Nick going to his. I sit down on his bed.

“Hey, are you uncomfortable with Chris? I can talk to him for you.” Nick says to me as he sits next to me on his bed.

“I’m not uncomfortable… I was just caught off guard. I like him.”

“He likes you.” Nick tells me.

“He just likes women.”

“True, but he likes you especially. When you tried to blow him off this morning he came to me like a sick kid begging me to get you to come.”

I giggle at the thought of Chris begging Nick for anything. “But Chris isn’t a boyfriend guy, you know that.” I lean back on the bed.

“He’s always like you though. When I first introduced you to him he was obsessed. I’m not kidding. He wouldn’t shut up about you for weeks. Always asked me when you’d be coming over.”

“But that was four years ago.”

“And? He’s doing it again.”

“But he stopped for so long in between?”

Nick sighs “You always focus on the wrong parts, y/n!” He shakes his head and groans. “Do you want pajamas or a shirt or something to sleep in?”

I nod. He goes to his closet and gives me a shirt and sweatpants. I go to his bathroom and change. I come back out and get into his bed under the covers. Nick shuts off the lights and gets into bed as well.

“Night y/n”

“Goodnight Nick.”

Tag list : @freshloveforthefit @sturniolo14 @sturniolosreads @bethsturn @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @dwalk41202

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut

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noxtivagus · 1 year

Text

evening has come again huh

#🌙.vent #i'm really sorry for the vents lately but i need a way to let it out. & this. this is as far as i can go with that #i need to do better again i know i can i have to :') people waiting for me. others n me....#last night i downloaded a game for my friend. for her. & then another friend i told her i'll reply before the day ends :< 'take your time'#she said but sob she opened up abt smth n i wna help i really do & fuck it just hurts too bcs i know the ppl around me are. struggling too #i try not to put others b4 myself if i'm struggling like rn but :< i hate the helplessness. wish i cld do smth more for you #i wish i could at least be enough to help them. for you for you whoever you are i would always be willing to make these sacrifices #i'm gna cry it's been so overwhelming lately bcs i'm filled with so much hope and despair simultaneously #what do i do? which do i choose? how do i decide? how am i supposed to do. enough. find a balance #n then other friends i haven't gotten to replying yet today bcs oh i'm too worn down right now n i hate it so much i'm sorry #& other than all the stuff i want to do for myself and for others there's also things like school n #it hurts you know? i'm very much aware i've been worrying my family lately. i can't. sleep properly. i can't bring myself to finish eating #:< n then it also gets overwhelming when i. look to better things. bcs it gen makes me v happy when. idk i feel inspired or creative or wtv #but it hurts when it's also simultaneously so overwhelming bcs it's so hard to do something with it #& thinking of good memories. how fleeting those moments were. how times have changed. but also of. of how more may come #but maybe. maybe only if i'm better. if i'm not this hollow husk of my usual self? fuck i know i'm too harsh on myself. unnecessary pressur #i'm more than it i know. but at times it's just so hard to feel better when i'm. 🥹 i really really don't want to be a disappointment.#for others n. for myself.... bcs i know as always in the future. wtf the fuck happens then. i do know that parts of me will never change.#wnvr i look into my past i'll always know that i deserved being more kind to myself. bcs i'm human too.#this empty feeling of being stuck somewhere being hope n my despair hurts v much bcs it's so contradicting & overwhelming #n i wish in these moments i cld be enough for my future self. n for those around me #i wish i was better at communicating! tell everyone i know how much i appreciate them! how much i wish they'd stay in my life #i wish i cld really just say but i'm afraid that my honesty might scare you away. so instead i hide. you probably don't feel the same nyway #crying it hurts i think past experiences have made me too used to people leaving. but i can't be vulnerable enough to be #soft enough to the extent of being so honest. i've been hurt before when i was kind n younger n naive sure but oh so innocent #struggling sad n it was so bad then that i. oh i remember how it hurt.... i refuse to let myself go through that extent of loneliness again #i wish though that. i could. revive my mind. my motivation my inspo my creativity hasn't exactly dulled but it's become more passive #am i afraid that if i really be myself then i'll be alone again? if i'm weird if i'm too honest n soft n. i don't know.#it hurts feeling like i'm stuck with being too little n too much at the same time. how do i. just be. enough. for you. for me.#it hurts i'm crying i'm sorry i'm so sorry fuck i'm so overwhelmed n lost i don't want to think right now it feels so empty n i'm tired

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taggedmemes · 3 months

Text

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART FIVE

we won't survive this if we don't stand together.

it is through conflict that we strengthen our bonds.

the next resolution may not end in her favor.

it's a question that burns in my belly day and night.

have you been looking at my differently?

i was too hasty to judge you.

i thought you witless, gutless, and unimpressively bland.

i thought you cruel, stubborn, and judgmental.

you have stoked fires i didn't know i possessed.

you've gained my respect.

you know how to set my heart racing.

we'll kiss and make up in our own time.

someone prodding at a newly opened wound doesn't help matters.

admirable conviction.

how can you go through all this trouble and not understand why?

secrecy is ingrained in me.

i like night orchids and can't swim.

i can't remember much of myself.

i hope that's the end of this silly quarrel.

killing's never my first choice, but they were too dangerous to leave alive.

i've come to sate you, and be sated.

time for pleasure has passed.

there's something i want to talk to you about, something important.

i owe you my life.

i may not have survived that night without you.

i'm trying to say that you've earned my trust in a way very few ever have.

i'm not usually one to elaborate if i can avoid it.

most fear the dark, because in darkness they see their fears reflected.

in darkness we do not hide, we act.

you pray with such conviction.

the presence of your goddess must fill your whole being.

perhaps we need not speak farewells.

i never pictured myself as a hero.

never thought i'd be the one they toast for saving so many lives.

i hate it, this is awful.

i would've liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.

all i want is a little fun.

it's not you, it's me. i have standards.

you have no idea how good it feels to see these people smiling.

don't waste a night like this talking to me.

i thought you might care to have a drink with me.

i rarely imbibe, the stuff goes right to my head.

before you know it, i'd be breaking into song or declaring love to the first person i laid eyes on.

you strike me as extremely resourceful.

there are many grateful people here who want to spend time with you.

i must not keep you all to myself, as enjoyable as that may be.

this might be the wine talking, but i'm feeling inspired.

look at them all, guzzling poison l ike we've the right to be happy.

i need to dance.. nope, i need to lie down.

the others will kill me if i keep you all to myself.

spontaneous thank-yous make me suspicious.

this is a night for celebration, not suspicion.

amid all this merriment, i wasn't sure we'd have a chance to speak this evening.

were our bond a little stronger, i might even have shared a moment of magic with you.

our fledgling acquaintanceship has not yet taken flight.

such intimacy will have to wait.

they could not match your nerve today.

it was enough to drive me to madness.

i won't be nursing their pounding heads and sicks stomachs in the morning.

everyone seems to be in high spirits.

you know who i never thought i'd find myself caring for.

i think you'll find i've been showing ample concern for myself since the moment we met.

share a bottle with me?

i'll find you after everyone's turned in for the night.

i think a toast is in order. any suggestions?

sounds like you just need a little more liquid inspiration.

you're beautiful.

i know [i'm beautiful], but you're sweet to notice.

i'll trust your judgement.

i do not truly care if you approve.

that night meant a lot to me.

i'm not sure what kind of sourtship we'll be afforded, given all that we're facing.

if you want to see where this goes, i do as well.

we share something special.

my people are nothing if not resourceful.

thought i'd shaken you for good.

that'll teach me to underestimate you.

she's trying to trick us, don't believe her lies.

when i saw an opportunity to get away, i took it.

you're asking me to trust a devil.

i don't want this to end badly for either of us.

you know monsters, right? better than anyone?

thought i was going to have to take your head.

there have been enough threats today.

how would you feel about helping me kill some evil bastards?

turns out i've got a knack for killing demons.

she looks like she could throw me over her shoulders and carry me to safety.

i'd hug you if it wouldn't scorch your skin off.

she's got the brawn of a warrior and the wiles of a survivor.

she speaks her mind, plainly and fully.

in other circumstances, i would have done the same.

best to not dwell on nights past.

you've been naughty.

you know what happens when you're naughty.

aren't you a luscious thing.

if i had a warm heart, i'm sure it would be skipping.

i've taken more pleasant shits than you.

that's no kind of talk for a lady.

you better not lay a damned finger on [name].

a promise broken, a price paid.

been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that.

he's a good man, maybe the best of us.

the sex gets better the more experience you have with someone.

#bg3 meme #text meme #rp sentence meme #sentence prompts #rp sentences #sentence meme #sentence starters #starter sentences #starter meme #rp sentence prompts #rp starters

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razorspidey · 14 days

Text

intro ⋆ READ B4 INTERACTING ⌁

my name is ajax/reo (you can call me either of those names) my pronouns are he/xe i am a minor (i'm 4teen) and i used to be @spinnspidey and @radiospidey and @knifespidey (that was the more known one) but i got t worded (again...). to whoever got me t worded, block dnt report. thanks!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა yeah so heres my intro. i'm a little bit of a weirdo if i do say so myself and i'm heavily tumblr obsessed so yeah i'll be on here nd i'll probably post a lot ^^ i'll post whatever goes through my mind which might be bad so warning on that. i might show symptoms of mental illnesses and if i do then mb idk not really my problem… but heads up i WILL say shit that shows that im not doing great. please do not try to save me or smth. also im looking for friends so bmf i promise im nice. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT PROMOTE ANYTHING THAT I POST. I AM POSTING AS A WAY TO VENT.

more info + stats under the cut!!! (tw for talking about sh + ed. don't like, don't read.)

sh﹐tw . . . ⋆ i have been cvtting since 2022 ⋆ i have hit styro ⋆ only styro on my thighs ⋆ i am not allowed to cvt anymore (unfortunately) ⋆ i have cvt my thighs, arms, stomach, and neck ⋆ most scars on thighs + arms ⋆ mostly cat scratches ⋆ all scars have healed (or are almost done in the process of healing) ⋆ my parents found out so i can't do it for now... (⇀‸↼‶)

ed﹐tw . . . ⋆ i have always hated my body ⋆ started trying to lose weight january 2023 ⋆ started around december 2023 (probably before, like over the summer but idk...) ⋆ 160 cm (last time i measured myself at least..) ⋆ sw 57.6 kg (bmi 22.5) ⋆ cw 51.2 kg (bmi 20) [will update every morning] ⋆ gw 1 50 kg (bmi 19.5) ⋆ gw 2 45 kg (bmi 17.6) ⋆ gw 3 40 kg (bmi 15.6) ⋆ ugw 38 kg (bmi 14.8) [or lower tbh...]

dni . . . ⋆ basic dni (idrc ngl, do what you want but don't report me thanks) ⋆ judgmental people ⋆ overly sensitive people ⋆ people who aren't ok w dark topics/get uncomfortable by stuff like that (this is more for you than for me, i dont wanna make anyone upset) ⋆ people who get triggered by talking about sh, ⭐️ving, alcohol, etc… (yes i am aware that it's bad, no don't come to my dms with a savior complex telling me to get help. i'm trying to get help) ⋆ i block freely btw cuz ik a lot of ppl dont respect dni lists + theres people who are unavoidable at times…

byi . . . ⋆ if you interact with me, i might seem excited n stuff ⋆ i might sound like i'm flirting but i'm not (i have a partner and i love them) ⋆ i can make a lot of sex jokes ⋆ i am very immature ⋆ dnt try to "fix" me, i'll probably block you or ignore you ⋆ i'm a little unusual so yeah ⋆ dnt be scared to interact w me i luv talking to peopleヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ ⋆ i am not pro €d or $h i just post about it and my experience…

fandoms . . . ⋆ hypmic (hypnosis mic) ⋆ genshin impact ⋆ paralive (paradox live) ⋆ servamp ⋆ tougen anki ⋆ karneval ⋆ bsd (bungou stray dogs) ⋆ seraph of the end ⋆ litc (lost in the cloud) ⋆ kagerou daze ⋆ the case study of vanitas ⋆ pandora hearts ⋆ enstars (ensemble stars) (i am KIND OF a part of it because my ex filled me up on a lot of lore when we were together…) ⋆ pjsk (project sekai) ⋆ theres probably some others but i forgot…

interests . . . ⋆ vkei ⋆ scene ⋆ anything bloody ⋆ cannibalism (ooh edgy) ⋆ tortures ⋆ psychology ⋆ music (i listen to vkei, scene, metal, etc…) ⋆ vampires ⋆ fanfiction (mostly genshin but other stuff occassionally) ⋆ true crime (im not tcc) ⋆ rarepairs (mostly genshin) ⋆ bats ⋆ writing ⋆ books ⋆ etc… ⋆ btw if youre interested in any of these or are interested becoming friends PLEASEEE message me 🙏🙏😓 im looking for friends pleaseplwaseplease

tags . . . ⋆ i tag all my posts with #razorspidey ⋆ i tag my normal posts with #razorspideys normal posts, meaning they are unrelated to $h and/or €d related things ⋆ i dont have a specific tag for $h/€d/vent related things so beware. i usually put a warning on all my posts like that at the end of the post tho ⋆ i tag my moodboard with #razorspideys moodboards ⋆ i tag stuff about me/my life as #razorspideys diary ⋆ i tag my rants/more serious posts with #razorspidey rants ⋆ block any of those tags or my blog if you do not wish to see it!!!

other links . . . ⋆ fanfic/dead dove: do not eat blog ⋆ poem blog ⋆ carrd

remember!!! block DONT report this blog if you need to ^^ this blog is meant as a way to vent my feelings/talk about my feelings so please don't dm me about how its bad. i am aware.

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prowlerverse · 2 months

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smiling critters x reader (christmas edition !)

disc ; for the sake of the hcs , let's just pretend actual sunlight and snow get into that... DOME they live in. also lowercase intended !

DOGDAY

dogday loves holidays. especially christmas. holidays mean ; no looking after kids. It also means he gets to hang out with his friends, to hang out with you.

there's not much you can get from just around playcare, but you can get some things from out of playcare, which leads to dogday begging staff for things from the outside.

eventually, they get tired of his begging and just give it to him to shut him up, and on christmas day he tells you he has a surprise for you — then you walk to his living room to see STACKS of presents.

"all for you!" dogday chirps as he hugs you tightly. "we can hang out after, if you want to.?"

for dogday, hanging out = playing in the 'snow' all day.

CATNAP

catnap again, doesn't exactly celebrate holidays unless you force him to. which you do, every year.

you make catnap one of those itchy christmas sweaters for him to wear, it takes a bit to make him wear it but he eventually gives in.

you usually try to involve catnap in the critter's activities, which he hates. not the fact your trying; but the fact he has to be social.

either way, when playcare winds down catnap spends the night with you watching what tv shows they have and eating cookies (animal safe, of course.)

"today was.. fun."

BOBBY BEARHUG

bobby loves giving, she likes receiving but LOVES giving.

meaning on christmas not only does her love multiply, but her gifts too!

she even asked her friends to set up a mistletoe just so you could both kiss under it.

everything else aside, when the sun goes down there's nothing she loves more when it comes to cuddling with you under cozy blankets drinking hot chocolate and old romantic christmas movies.

"aweee!! aren't they such a cute couple like us?"

PICKY PIGGY

picky loves to cook. she loves to cook for fun, for her friends, and mostly you.

so when christmas comes around, best believe that you'll both be in the kitchen for hours cooking stuff as the snow falls outside.

even if they don't come out THAT well, picky loves spending time with you. even if it means a burnt cookie smell lingers around her house.

"it's okay! we tried in the end, that's all that matters!"

HOPPY HOPSCOTCH

hoppy loves being outside, so having to be cooped inside was a struggle.

but when you said you could both just gear up and go outside, she was over the moon.

you both ended up getting into snowball fights and getting sick, but hoppy found it worth it.

even if it meant having to stay inside for the rest of the week.

"hey, but I mean," she started. "it's more time with you. that's good for me."

KICKIN CHICKEN

just like hoppy, he loves to be outside in any weather.

but, he's taken consideration of what you tell him.

so just to be sure this one time.. he decided to take it slow and just walk around playcare with you, in warm clothing of course.

kickin' was usually hyper, so this surprised you. but you enjoyed it. he was happy to see the snow.

"this is nice — not running around and getting sick. pretty cool if I say so myself."

BUBBA BUBBAPHANT

bubba is mostly a stay inside person, which you don't mind. being outside is not always the answer.

that didn't mean he would just study all day though, he'd try his best to please you by watching shows, cooking (the best he can.)

all the running around and watching shows made you a bit tired, so he would let you lay down on the couch with him.

"today was great," he squeezed you a bit. "thank you."

CRAFTYCORN

crafty enjoys coloring and crafts, it's in her name.

so when it comes to christmas, everything she makes is christmas themed, and a gift for you.

she even made a little christmas city made out of paper, and you loved it.

"I made this.. and thought you would like it."

end ; am I mad that I can't for some reason use the yellow text anymore and have to make kickin and dogday share the same , just slightly different? Yes. Am I gonna update the project: fic soon? maybe. did it crash once and I lost all the progress I made? Yes. Did I wanna cry? Yes. Did I delay this because I was mad over the yellow font suddenly going bye bye?

Yes.

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #dogday #catnap #bobby bearhug #picky piggy #hoppy hopscotch #kickinchicken #bubba bubbaphant #craftycorn #x reader #reader x canon

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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WIBTA if I confronted my boyfriend about not feeling praised enough? Over dumb D&D shit?

Background - I (20s F) live with my boyfriend (30s M) and things are usually great. He's always been supportive, emotionally intelligent and caring and we've had no major problems. We met via D&D several years ago so it's pretty important to both of us, and I'm a DM. Before we met, he was involved in a years-long campaign with some friends and is generally more experienced in D&D than me (I've been DMing around 5 years, he's probably closer to 10).

The current campaign that I'm running is something I'm really proud of. It's a mid-length campaign and I made the story myself (I typically plan mine to be 6-8ish months to avoid things fizzling out) and I've tried really hard to step up my writing and story planning for this one.

I've put in a LOT of extra time and effort and have been holding myself to a much higher standard than I usually do. As a DM I get self-conscious over how much time people are spending with me each week, and I want to make sure it's REALLY worthwhile. And because my boyfriend is more experienced in D&D than me, I've been looking to him for feedback and/or praise, as it would mean a lot to me coming from him.

And I've been getting close to nothing. At the end of each session he immediately falls asleep and doesn't talk about it at all. It makes me feel like I'm keeping him up/boring him. So I started asking him things like "hey what did you think about how I handled X" and he'll give a brief response like "yeah it was great" without explaining anything.

He didn't even give much thought into the character he's playing either - for his old campaign he created a HUGE story for his character, background, goals, etc. I know for a fact he's an incredible creative writer and could have come up with something wonderful for this. But he didn't put down anything other than basic character sheet stuff. When I asked him about it, he says he only goes deep into character when it's "long campaigns like my old one" and "too bad a long campaign like that will never happen again. That's D&D at it's best but now we're all adults, and we're too busy to ever do that, half my friends have kids, it'll never happen again and it's so sad" etc etc.

It made me feel like shit - like anything I try to do is a waste of time and pointless compared to this legendary "old campaign". Like it's barely worth staying awake for, like it's some kind of chore he has to sit through every week just because I'm his girlfriend and he's just humoring me.

The other players have been EXTREMELY enthusiastic and supportive - they send me art they make based on the campaign after every session and have contacted me privately to compliment me on certain aspects of the campaign. I want to make it clear that this is NOT something I EXPECT, but moreso I just really really love and appreciate that they do this for me, especially while my boyfriend is kind of leaving a void where I'd want this kind of praise.

Full transparency, one of my worst fears is forcing people to play along with something that I am passionate about, but bores them to tears. I never want to make a big deal over something that means a lot to ME but doesn't mean that much to someone else. So maybe I should just let this go because, at the end of the day, it's just a game? And taking it so seriously makes me an asshole and I should touch grass? I feel like potentially starting a fight over stupid nerd stuff would be pointless on my end. But at the same time, the more we play the more I feel deflated and I really hate feeling that way. I'm not sure what to do tbh.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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dogtoling · 6 months

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Deep Sea Dead Zone - Album Release Interview

Deep Sea Dead Zone is a four-cephalopod band from Inkopolis, founded in 2017. After almost 6 years of radio silence following their debut album’s (Cut the Carp) release in 2017, the time has finally come for a new album release. Same Joke Twice released on November 2nd 2023 - and we’ve got the guys (and gals) in the studio to give their thoughts on the happenings!

(Actual interview under the cut!)

Q: It’s finally the day! Same Joke Twice has finally been released following a pretty long silent period for the band. How are you feeling right now?

Engel (vocals): I’m really excited! It’s been a LONG time coming getting new music out and I know a lot of people have been waiting like, forever. I’m super excited for people to hear the new songs and hear what people think.

Boy (drums): It’s been six years since our last album and people have been going insane for a while now asking for new stuff. It’s nice to finally be able to have something for those people.

Q: It’s been a while indeed - and people have been hungry for more. You guys have a lot of fans; does that come with pressure?

Engel: Well obviously. I’ve had people come up to me in the store going “new album when?” since year one. That was to the point that we made a song for the new album called “New Album When?” just to honor how much that happened.

Peppermint (bass): I don’t feel much pressure myself, I usually focus on other stuff in my daily life. But just in general yeah, especially coming outta the dark after several years is a little scary.

Engel: It’s a LOT scary. People have mostly been bugging me, and it was awful at times because I wanted to make new stuff as much as they wanted to HEAR new stuff if not more but there was just no way. You can’t really feel like you’re not letting people down in a setup like that!

Peppermint: Even if it’s not really in your control. But we’re out of the waves and the new stuff is finally here, so I hope people will give it a try.

Q: Your first album, Cut the Carp, got really big and some of the songs even became popular Turf War hits. Do you have similar ambitions for Same Joke Twice?

Boy: Honestly the first album blowing up was super random and we were all just baffled that it happened in the first place.

Engel: There’s not really anything special about Same Joke Twice. Not to say it’s not good or we don’t like it or anything but just like Cut the Carp, we made the songs because we wanted to make music, not because we wanted to blow up the Turf scene or whatever.

Boy: Well, in terms of ambition, there just might be a tour coming next year. But you didn’t hear that from me.

Engel: Like, it’s a bit scary knowing that people are scrutinizing the new music, sometimes people like the old stuff better and end up not liking the new songs at all, and I hate the idea that there could be people out there who have waited THIS LONG for new music just to be disappointed by the new stuff.

Peppermint: I think most people who liked our previous songs are going to like these too, even though they’re a bit different.

Engel: Yeah, I try to focus less on the ‘oh no what if people hate it’ and more on the ‘what if people love it and it’s all they’ve ever wanted and so on’. And for every person who listens to the album and thinks it’s whatever, there’s probably someone else discovering our stuff for the first time and liking it, and that’s more than enough honestly

Q: I think we should address the cetacean in the room… well, the mastigoteuthid in the room. You have a new guitarist!

Boy: We do have a new guitarist. We picked up Lash from the street.

Lash (guitar): Yeah, hi.

Engel: Yeah, Lash is our new guitarist and they’re awesome! They joined the band this year and have been such a good addition.

Boy: We desperately needed a weirdgirl who does nothing except stare menacingly and they’re really good at that.

Engel: We desperately needed a GUITARIST and they’re really good at that too.

Q: There’s been some talk about it over the years, but is it right that you didn’t have a guitarist for a while there?

Engel: Uhh, yup. I want to say that’s the main reason we couldn’t make new music or perform. Our old guitarist, Dodo, walked out not that long after the release of our first album, so we just…

Peppermint: It was a rough time for everyone since we couldn’t really do anything. We didn’t want to pick up a random guitarist to fill in for him just for the sake of having someone there so we can keep making music. The band is more personal than that.

Boy: It looks really funny from the outside, because Lash is actually Dodo’s sister. So it looks like we kicked Dodo out and replaced him with Lash.

Lash: Honestly I’ll take it.

Q: So the new guitarist is the old guitarist’s sister? How did that work out?

Engel: Okay so, unsurprisingly I spend an unhealthy amount of time on InkTok. It was around Fresh Season this year that I saw her post a guitar cover of one of our old songs, Fish Outta Water, and I thought damn, she’s pretty good. So…

Boy: We all technically knew Lash before but were never anything more than acquaintances, so once we actually invited them and got to know each other better in the studio we just clicked.

Engel: I was sold as soon as she showed me her slug. If you look at the back of the CD case, we actually took our slugs to the studio and put their picture back there!

Lash: Its name is Shadow, if anyone cares.

Peppermint: I was coaching Lash before for Turf Wars, so we knew each other a little better beforehand. It was actually around the release of our first album.

Lash: I was in a team with two of Peppy’s younger siblings, so now that I’m here, I’m getting hit with the hardest eldest sister behaviors known to squidkind. It’s like she thinks I’m 5.

Peppermint: I… yeah.

Q: On the topic of Turf Wars, do any of you still play?

Engel: Be honest right now, do I look like I play.

Lash: I play a lot. I’m the solo Squiffer your mom warned you about.

Peppermint: Most of us used to be in a team together back in the day, before we started the band. We don’t play in a team anymore, but I play with my GF sometimes. I like Splat Roller.

Lash: Have you learned about the vertical flick yet?

Peppermint: I’m trying! Back in my day the rollers weren’t all shiny and fancy like they are now. We rolled and we hit people in the face and we moved on and that was it.

Boy: I was a Gal loyalist back in the day and I’m still a Gal loyalist. The .52 feels great as usual and the new Killer Wail is fun.

Engel: I used to main the Carbon Roller back when Inkzookas were still hot stuff. I actually bought a Splat Brella recently. Because it’s cute! That’s a really fun idea for a weapon.

Boy: You know, if you came to play with us that would make four people and we could form a full team.

Engel: Way to put me on the spot, dude. I don’t think so.

Q: Back to the album. How would you describe this album and the songs? Does it have its own identity?

Engel: How would I describe it… well, it’s the NEW Deep Sea Dead Zone. It’s familiar, but with a distinct sound that separates it from what you may be used to. So really it’s a bit eerie.

Peppermint: Dude, that’s cryptic.

Engel: It’s like visiting your childhood town just to see that the post office is gone, things have changed and there’s a Squidonald’s now. It’s like seeing an old friend after a long time and not recognizing parts of them. A familiar unfamiliarity, if you will. Or the other way around.

Peppermint: …sure!

Boy: The music is a little different but we kept more or less the same vibe… It’s a little less edgy than Cut the Carp was. But it’s Engel making the lyrics so obviously it’s still edgy, I’m not saying it’s not.

Engel: Yeah, I made the lyrics for most of the songs again so you know it’s not going to be all nice and cute and pink and sugar sweet.

Boy: That really made it sound more like it should be.

Engel: With Cut the Carp I was using the lyrics mostly as an outlet, there was a big emphasis on stuff like feeling out of place, not belonging and whatnot. I actually go to therapy now so the songs are a little lighter on that kind of stuff…

Boy: I want to emphasize that he’s saying that, but the album is still insanely edgy.

Engel: YEAH WELL some things can’t be helped. My therapist said to me something along the lines of music can be a good way to sort your thoughts, but it can also be really harmful to like, repeat your bad thoughts infinitely like that and turn them into an identity thing.

Peppermint: I get a little uncomfortable playing some of the really rough songs, so it was actually kind of a relief seeing some of the lyrics he’d written down and seeing that all of them weren’t outright depressing.

Engel: Yeah, I tried to steer away from, how do you say, depression fuel. There’s still a lot in there but we tried to approach some of this stuff with a more humorous or satire tone this time. It gives the ability to detach yourself from it a little bit.

Boy: He kinda makes lyrics as an outlet to reflect his own thoughts, so he can’t make them too exciting or he will lose the vibe and not be able to sing or whatever.

Engel: Something like that. I like to put my hearts into it.

Q: The new album has some interestingly named songs… one of them being You Can’t Call The Song That. Is that an example of your more humorous tone going in?

Engel: Haha, that one is great. Well, kind of. The song doesn’t really have anything to do with the name-

Peppermint: Oh boy here we go.

Boy: We wanted to name the song something else, but Peppy over here didn’t let us, so that’s where the name came from.

Peppermint: I’m just trying to get us from being banned from most radio channels or potentially sued.

Engel: Even Peppy doesn’t know this, but actually the album’s name… we named the album Same Joke Twice because we had other ideas for the name that we weren’t allowed to use. And, well-

Peppermint: No. Wait, REALLY?

Engel: We didn’t want to name it “You Can’t Call The Album That” because we already used that joke, so we went for a trick shot.

Peppermint: You CANNOT be serious right now.

Boy: Honestly we had a lot of disagreements about what the name should be and it was pretty last-minute. This one clicked and it was funny, so we just kept it.

Engel: Some people thought the joke is that we stuck around to make more music and honestly, sure. Free interpretation.

Q: Clearly a lot of secrets went into the name of the album. So, what about the cover?

Engel: Ok! Unlike the last album’s cover, we actually got a photo studio to get a nice, fancy thing going on. We didn’t really know at first what we wanted to do with the cover but then figured, we have a new face in the band, we should do a group picture to make that clear.

Boy: For the first album’s cover we just went out and posed on some shitty industrial porch, this time we went for the more abstract classic void look and focused on highlighting us.

Engel: I’ve already got people who were surprised I’m not actually 2,5 meters tall. Guys, I’m sorry… you got tricked by the good old photoshop.

Peppermint: I’m just happy to not have to be “the tall one” for once.

Q: It’s pretty common for the frontman in a band to be at the, well, front. You guys didn’t do that there.

Engel: Yeah they banished me to the back. We were kinda drawing blanks on the composition for a while until we figured it would look fresh to have me looming in the back. And! With everyone else in front I think everyone’s getting the attention they deserve. A lot of times in bands the members other than the singer are kinda invisible, I feel like we hit a good balance here.

Boy: Well, there’s other reasons but sure, that’s a good explanation.

Engel: That’s right. It is. I was in the front last time, but everyone else is a fantastic model too. Peeps already know what I look like.

Q: That’s right, Engel, don’t you model on Inkstagram?

Engel: Uhh, yeah, I do. I used to do it more in the past but I’ve been sloooowly getting back out there… it’s mostly pics of my slug lately.

Lash: I do a lot of fashion photoshoots there, though I’ve mostly been on InkTok lately.

Engel: Oh yeah, I’ve been helping Lash with her stuff here and there. We both really like fashion, so I’ve been giving them some pointers…

Lash: Any time you see me wearing some cute loser swag like ribbons and lace that makes you think ‘wow, just like Engel DSDZ’, well, rest assured it was him.

Boy: One way to put it.

Engel: What’s loser about ribbons and lace???? Every day I get disrespected and attacked in my own band.

Q: Engel, you are pretty well known for incorporating ribbons and lace into your outfits. Most inkfish guys tend to shy away from that style of clothing. When did you start dressing like you do and why?

Engel: Oh, I get that a lot… Honestly, I just think they’re really cute and really cool. I don’t really care about “girl and boy clothes”. It does lead into a lot of people thinking I’m a girl, but I don’t really mind. I’m more interested in dressing in a way that makes me feel good about myself than dressing how people expect me to.

Boy: Believe it or not, he used to dress in super normal stuff like t-shirts and Turf shorts back in the day. He thought Grape Tee was the epitome of freshness.

Peppermint: Boy, you wouldn't disrespect a grape, would you?

Engel: That was when I was super new to the surface. It took me a few years of, like, just being to figure out that I was allowed to do stuff with my appearance? So once I got through that first realization I kinda went all in. And since I started wearing frills, I never stopped wearing frills so far.

Lash: Not my question, but in general, experimenting with what you can do with fashion is really fun.

Engel: It is! It’s a big hobby for me. I got into making bracelets and little decorations when I was at the top of wanting to get new outfits and stuff going on, my house is full of beads. People tell me it’s bordering on a problem but those people are without joy.

Peppermint: Those people don’t want to keep finding rhinestones and beads on the floor and under the couch six months after those last came out.

Q: Speaking of jewelry, that candy necklace. Are those beads, or is it real?

Engel: Nope, these are super real. I have a bunch of these at home. Candy is kinda half my brand, so I just started implementing it in my outfits at some point. I really like sour candy, actually, some people don’t.

Peppermint: When we were roomies, I’d be on my way home from the city and he’d send me texts going “hey can you get me bracelets” like every day. I just started going to the candy store and getting him like, full bags. He goes THROUGH them.

Engel: I actually fiddle with it if I get nervous and the sweetness helps a lot. So if you’ve got issues with stuff like crowds or noise or like, elevators, totally get one of these to see if that helps as a distraction.

Q: We got a bit sidetracked, so back to the album. Or, albums, plural. This album cover actually has a lot of similarities to the first one; was this an intentional design aspect?

Engel: Well, yeah, in the end. We figured we might as well since we settled on doing a group photo again. Especially the baseball bat is kind of a dead giveaway… I thought it would be a fun throwback since I still had that lying around.

Boy: This guy hoards stuff like he’s Octarian. And the fact that the stuff usually ends up being useful is nuts.

Engel: I’ve got emotional attachment to this thing, man.

Peppermint: The pink splatters were Engel’s idea in the first album, but it was actually Boy’s idea bringing them back for this one. We were kinda stuck thinking about what to add to make it a bit more visually interesting.

Engel: Oh yeah, that ended up coming pretty naturally and it was like, duh OBVIOUSLY we’re gonna do that. Same joke twice and all that! Ink is always a really good addition in dark settings because of the glow and I think it turned out really good there.

Boy: I actually suggested it to back up the claims online that Engel’s ink is sweet. They’re right.

Engel: This is probably the fastest anyone’s ever made a conversation go super weird.

Q: Let’s quickly talk about some of the songs on the new album. Any favorites?

Engel: Ooh. We put a lot of work this time in making the songs seriously stand out from each other, and also from the first album’s stuff, so some of them are pretty divisive…

Boy: A lot of them have some pretty rough and scrappy guitar going on thanks to Lash. There’s some guitar solos that really stand out to me. Try to Drown Me, Suckers has to be one of my favorites because it just goes hard. There’s some real spirit in that one.

Engel: Haha, I really like that one. But - yeah I’m aware this is entirely my own fault - it is ROUGH to sing. It might have to be skipped from some live shows because uhhh… gonna be real I don’t think I can do that and like ten other songs.

Lash: I like it. But my favorite is probably Famous Fuckup. I love how quick you guys gave up on being radio safe.

Peppermint: I TRIED.

Engel: It’s a pretty personal song… well, as opposed to every other song that are ALSO pretty personal songs. Yadda yadda. I just wanted to keep it, like, uncensored.

Lash: I think it’s funny that Peppy managed to keep “Don’t Like The Song? Kill Yourself” from being used, but not censor the word “fuck”.

Peppermint: I had to prioritize the one that could get us sued…

Engel: Anyway, I really like Might As Well Be Caught, actually. It’s very tongue-in-cheek kind of stuff. The lyrics are kinda out there and it’s unusual for us, but it’s- well, it’s real! It’s a love letter to the paparazzi and a culmination of my endless annoyance with being on the freaking news every time I step out of my apartment to do ANYTHING.

Lash: I like any song that’s obviously antagonistic.

Peppermint: I like all the songs a pretty good amount… honestly I’m usually more focused on getting my parts right than like, the song happening.

Engel: She’s too humble to say she’s biased and likes her own song the best. It’s okay, Peppy. The song slaps.

Peppermint: THAT’S NOT… Well YEAH, there is one song that I had mostly free reign over. It was pretty fun…

Engel: No More Misery. She’s the one singing it, too - she made one of the songs for the first album, but even on that album I was the one who ended up singing it. So this is kind of a big deal.

Peppermint: I don’t think we need to bring up Hooked To Hurt in this… ah, shit.

Boy: I vibe with No More Misery being put right before Famous Fuckup. Good job, guys, that positive energy lasted for four minutes and now we’re back to self-loathing.

Q: The first album had ten songs, plus one that was a later release. This one has TWELVE songs right from the get-go!

Engel: It sure does. Honestly, if the guys let me keep going there could’ve been twenty, still counting. I had SOOOO many ideas, all those years we weren’t able to do shit, I was still writing.

Boy: We started the actual album production somewhere in late Fresh Season, and most of the songs were recorded mid Sizzle Season. So like we were hauling ass grilling in the studio heat and trying to narrow down Engel’s ideas into something that actually works as a song.

Lash: I think all of them work as songs if you’re not a coward.

Engel: Some of my raw lyrics are basically journal entries or venting on paper so once we started refining them, it would sometimes take, like, a LONG time to get something coherent. For example I’m pretty sure we gave up on False Eyes like five times until-

Peppermint: Oh of course, False Eyes. This guy started spam texting the group chat at 3:30AM on a weekday going “I KNOW HOW TO DO THE CHORUS!!!!!1”

Engel: If my therapist is reading this……. I know we talked about the ‘bedtime issue’. I would like to formally apologize, I promise I’m trying, but. You see….

Boy: He is enthralled by the magic of creation.

Engel: Pretty much. Uh, long story short, summarize, we just collectively had a lot of ideas,

Peppermint: Mostly you, dude.

Engel: I just had a lot of ideas. I don’t want to promise too much here but, well, the next album is probably NOT going to take six years from now.

Lash: I can leave if you guys need a break.

Peppermint: Please don’t.

Q: Before we get into reader questions… I’d like to hear your final thoughts on the album release. And additionally, any gossip about live shows?

Engel: Ahhh… I’d like for everyone to give the album even a quick listen-through. I think old fans are gonna like what we have here, and for new fans or people who haven’t listened yet… if you like Inkin Park, you’ll like us at least a little. It’s super duper exciting to finally be able to put out new music and I’ve been all spiky for a week just thinking about finally getting to show it to people!

Boy: Listen on SeaTube. Use adblock. We don’t really care. We care about people getting to hear the songs first and foremost, we don’t get paid shit anyway.

Lash: I would like some money.

Engel: This has been such a long-overdue passion project I might just go home and cry to be real with you guys. As for the live shows, uh, it’s still kinda on the table…? Some of us have like, jobs, so we don’t have all the time and energy in the world to do stuff like that.

Peppermint: Chill Season’s also coming up, and we mostly just do outdoor shows, so it doesn’t super add up. For the time being I think we can promise there will be some gig action next year, though…

Boy: We’re going to sit for a while and see if people vibe with the music, see who reaches out. I’m hitting the festivals next summer as I always do, I’m just saying, it would be nice to do so as a performer.

Engel: Aside from just music-related stuff, expect to see more stuff like this in the near future from us! And follow my InkTok if you like slugs. Mine’s named Meat, it’s a fairy butterfly slug!

Peppermint: For those wondering, its name is Meat because he couldn’t stop being bothered by the cerata being flesh while naming it.

Engel: What she said!

Q: That concludes our part of the interview. However, we have some audience questions left, if you’re inclined to answer?

Engel: Well obviously they’re the scariest part, but I can’t help but be nosy.

Boy: I’m just going assume they’ll be uncensored and go in with that expectation.

Q: Audience question incoming, number one… Engel, is your Skitter account and your activities on there representative of what goes behind your lyrics?

Engel: Ummm… well. Yeah. Yes and no.

Boy: Can I answer? Yes it is.

Engel: The stuff I do on Skitter kinda ranges between sharing stuff I think is funny, or trying to be funny, or having a mental breakdown live on the net. So, idk. In terms of the latter, first of all I’m SORRY, I’m working on it. But also that’s… yeah.

Lash: Some of the posts you guys see on there are just the front for the most unhinged shit he’s ever written that would score him in the psych ward if the right person saw it.

Peppermint: Maybe not something you want to say in an interview…

Engel: Basically yeah. I mean, I’m a funny guy on Skitter but trust me when you see the kind of pathetic “i forgot to eat dinner for 4 days” funny relatable posts on here, it’s - like it happens. To the best of us. Mostly me though.

Peppermint: No actually, he’s very honest there. I’ve told him many times to maybe dial it back online, not everyone needs to know that-

Engel: I would like to add that people following me there should be careful and avoid being influenced by the stuff I sometimes post… Most of it is meant to be satire!! Please don’t actually jump off of Hammerhead Bridge.

Boy: It’s been like two years since he posted that and he’s still having to clarify that it was a joke.

Q: Moving onto the next question; Why couldn’t you get the old guitarist back? His playing was so much better.

Boy: Huh, that’s brutal.

Lash: Whoever sent that, meet me at the Reef tonight at 10pm sharp. Pick your best weapon.

Engel: Okay, well, that’s kind of mean… I don’t think it was better personally, they just have different types of playing. It comes down to personal preference I guess, I would say hey, maybe stop expecting the same kind of art from two different squids! You can appreciate something different in both playstyles and maybe you’ll find out the new one isn’t bad, just different, no?

Peppermint: We would not take Dodo back into the band even if he came in crawling on all fours and begged to be let back in. If he’s smart, he’ll stay in whatever hole he's dug himself.

Engel: Okay and uhhhh yeah we can’t get the old guitarist back. Not going to get into it, but - yeah he’s gone.

Boy: Hey Lash, are you actually going to go?

Q: Next question! It’s a bit unclear whether this is more broad, or if it’s focused… What the Fuck do these lyrics mean.

Engel: I feel like this has been answered a few times in the interview already, but I’m a huge fan of the raw emotion here, so.

Boy: Engel makes most of the lyrics for basically every song ever, the rest of us pitch in to turn it into an actual song. But he’s the mastermind for sure. Any complaints should be addressed to him.

Engel: I started writing lyrics back when I first got on the surface and got really into writing poems and just generally writing, well, stuff. It started as a kind of way to just get my thoughts out there and out of my head where they were mostly Bad. It’s always helped me to write that into songs, so especially in older songs, the lyrics are mostly just me processing my feelings, fears, things going on in my life. For the most part they’re very personal to me.

Boy: We talked about it a little before but a lot of the lyrics in this album specifically are a bit different, in terms of how much “post-production” went into them, and then there’s some like Might As Well Be Caught that are just kind of unusual.

Engel: When you hear the “this is the corner where I go to cry”, imagine I’m actually showing you my house. That being said though the new songs aren’t all random scribble, the guys just took my usual whining and we worked on making it less whiny and more like, subtext? If that makes sense.

Peppermint: There’s also songs on this album that were collabs, like Existence is a Cruel Mistress. Or in the case of No More Misery, that one was mostly written by me. So… I mean I guess for a broad answer, we just put our hearts into it and see what happens.

Engel: Peppy’s always the one writing the sappy songs, we love her and her will to live.

Peppermint: It’s not sappy! I was just being honest!

Boy: Never change, cap’n.

Q: A question about the new album. Same Joke Twice! What inspired you to make it?

Engel: The album or the album’s name? We already talked about the name before.

Boy: The album itself was just long overdue. We couldn’t work as a band for like five years, so as soon as we got a band back together we kinda went off and just got it done.

Engel: I’ve got enough ink for like two more back-to-back albums to be honest but I gotta give the others a little while to breathe.

Boy: But yeah, as for the album’s name, no the joke isn’t that we made another album. It’s just an inside joke, because Peppy hates fun.

Peppermint: I literally hate you guys.

Lash: I still think it’s a skill issue.

Q: There’s a question about the making of the pink “blood” on the cover of the album. Does it symbolize something?

Engel: I mean, blood I guess. It’s also just a throwback to the first album’s cover where it also symbolized something like blood, violence, chaos et cetera.

Lash: He is so edgy.

Engel: Using actual fake blood was an idea we had, but blood color is kinda subjective based on your species, so it might not always register. We just went for a color that stands out and isn’t a common blood color so it… I guess, equally registers as blood for no one, and everyone at the same time. I don’t know if I’m making any sense right now!

Boy: He’s saying it’s there for the edge factor, nothing more and nothing less really.

Q: Presumably about the album cover. Engel, were you always that big?

Engel: Hahaha noooooo. Have you heard of deep-sea gigantism?

Peppermint: It’s photoshop.

Boy: Did they specify it was about the album cover?

Engel: They should be asking if Peppy was always that small. The answer is no, they made Boy and Lash stand on chairs to make her look shorter.

Peppermint: Why’d you drag me into it????!

Lash: They got Engel’s photo separately and upscaled him into the backdrop. There’s no magic growth spurt or deep-sea gigantism going on here.

Engel: Yeah uh no. Also this is a common misconception, a lot of deep-sea folk are actually not giant. There’s similarly sized shallow-water species too, but the Deepsea tends to get a lot of talk about… okay well, besides the point.

Q: That concludes our extra questions and our interview. Thanks to Deep Sea Dead Zone for showing up - the new album, Same Joke Twice, is out now. Any parting words with our readers?

Engel: Thanks for having us and thanks for listening! New album now. Never ask me for anything ever again.

Boy: He’s kidding. But I’d just like to say a humble thank you for the people listening to our stuff - and an extra thank you to people already requesting our songs on the radio. We love what we do, so it’s a bonus if you guys love it too.

Engel: Yeah just in case I wasn’t clear, that was a joke. The new album wasn’t a joke tho. Thanks for sticking around through the years, I love all you guys to death.

Peppermint: Lash made this album possible, I just wanna put that out there. I better see hype for her and hype ONLY in the future and in the comments!

Lash: Don’t be shy with the hate comments, either. Most of my previous haters can’t make it to the 1v1s anymore so I could use some more.

Engel: You can listen to the album RIGHT NOW on SeaTube and a bunch of other places, I’m super excited to hear what people think about it, pleasepleaseplease leave your thoughts in the comments. Stay sweet everyone!!

#dodo ocs #deep sea dead zone #i dont have a writing tag! whoops. thats ok #dodo art #art tag it is! this took really long i hope everyone likes it.

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krystalskeleton · 1 year

Text

1992.11.11 – RAW Magazine Interview with Izzy

Music

"Yeah, music is partially my saving grace. It's been part of my life every day of the week since I was a kid. It doesn't have to be a specific type of music, it can be any type because the whole of it takes you away from the mundane, every day sort of thing.

"Being on tour, I find it like a luxury item because when I'm on tour I don't have a big stereo, I have a Sony player that cost 50 bucks, it's mono and it has this tiny speaker. For the first couple of days I only had my walkman which is fine for airplanes, but otherwise they're a drag. I found myself looking in the window of these shops at these stereos and there was this one in Chicago which was four and a half feet long and three feet tall. It was this boom box with neon lights inside it. It was really freaky looking, but I ended up getting this small Sony because it would fit in my bag, it plays cassettes and it records so I can write songs on it too. I find that if I hear a stereo now, even if it's a PA at gigs and they're playing a tape, it's a luxury and I really enjoy it."

Food

"Indian food and pizza are my favourites. I stopped eating meat a few years ago. I don't eat red meat or chicken, but I eat fish. I stopped eating meat shortly after I stopped drinking and using drugs. I think it was a case of wanting to heal myself a little quicker rather than objecting to meat, plus there were some cases on the West Coast where people were dying after they'd eaten bad meat. I'm big on salads. Salads in America are just a couple of bits of dead lettuce, but over here people are a bit more conscientious.

But Indian food and pizza are my favourites and that's why Chicago is like heaven to me because you can get a pizza delivered at 5am and it's damn good pizza. There's a place there called Mama Mia and they deliver all night long. They've got pizzas that are two inches thick with like a cracker crust with fresh tomatoes on top. "

Drink

"I like mango lassi and sweet lassi from Indian restaurants. My second would be fresh squeezed orange juice. Those are the only things I drink. I gave up drinking because I just had enough of waking up in my own vomit and not remembering who I was hanging out with the night before, getting arrested and all that stuff. Waking up in jail, and that sort of thing became old for me and I finally realised that I had to stop this and figure it all out. It wasn't easy and it took a while. I feel a lot better for not doing it."

Hate

"It's destructive in nature. Sometimes you can get angry, but it usually doesn't help fix anything. If I hate something I just get hung up on it and dwell on it. I find it easier to try and dismiss it. Otherwise it's extra baggage to be carrying around. You see hatred every day on the TV and some other places and that's enough for me, I don't need to live with it anymore."

Rock 'N' Roll

"It's that life blood. You can't put your finger on it. For me it's that other thing that only people who listen to it or love it know what it is. To the rest of the world though it probably doesn't mean shit!(laughs)

" The funniest thing I ever heard in Guns N Roses was from this guy in Canada called Gabe. God, he was hilarious! He said he saw something on English TV once that said no matter how many records Elton John sold in 1976, there were still 40 billion Chinese people that don't give a fuck and that rang so true to me- this was back in '86 so I've always kept it in mind. It's true. If you look at the globe and spin it and put your finger wherever it lands there's people there who don't know what Rock 'N' Roll is. For people who do love it, though, it's their whole life. For me it's very special.

" We used to have Rock 'N' Roll bands come to play at our house when I was a real young kid. My dad used to have these parties and me and my brothers were beer runners. The bands were always downstairs and I always hung out with them. When you're a kid and these guys would show to play stuff on the drums, it was great. They'd play stuff like (Credence Clearwater Revival's) 'Proud Mary'. I was lucky 'cos I got to grow up with that. I've been hooked on that ever since."

Drugs

"It's up to each person. It doesn't do any good to tell people not to do it. If people want to do 'em then they're gonna do 'em. All I can say is for myself they stopped being a good thing. It became a complete pain in the ass. It was destroying me as a person and I got to the point where I decided to give up. It wasn't like I didn't know 'cos you go through a peroid where you know you're tearing yourself up. I knew I had to stop or everything was gonna go down the tubes."

Sex

"It's pretty important, but to a lot of people it's hard to understand that it doesn't mean much unless you care about the person you're with. I'm lucky, 'cos I do."

Love

"It's a great thing. Everybody needs it and wants it. Life can be pretty bleak without it. I've got a German shepherd and I've had him since he was a puppy, ya' know. I bought him when he was just a twerp. He's three years old, he's healthy, he's big and he can run 40 miles an hour and he's great. I love my dog!

"I've had a steady girl for a few years and it's a great thing. Love makes life a lot easier."

Work

" I worked in a car wash when I was 15. I worked where the cars come out and you have to dry the cars off. In the winter time with the wind chill it can be 10 or 20 below zero, and that was real work getting up at five or six in the morning. It was cold and you've got these towels that are freezing and you're washing these fuckers off. Music is more something that you love to do so it doesn't seem like work. The thought of having to get a real job is difficult. I was never that good at keeping a straight job and getting enough money to do what I wanted to do. At the same time I had to work as a kid. If you gotta do it you do it.

" I've had different jobs. I worked in pizzerias and I actually enjoyed that. That was one job that didn't feel like work unless there was a gig or concert that I wanted to go to. In that case I'd leave work early anyway. I actually liked cooking pizzas, flipping the dough and stuff was cool.

"If I had to get another real job I would probably work in a pizzeria, or I'd work in the car wash and I'd be on the front end. The front end is where the guys would pump gas and vacuum the cars, and these guys were always the envy of everyone else who had it rough. This was back in the '70s when people would drive around with big joints in their cars. They'd smoke half a joint and leave the rest so that when one guy pulls up with half a joint in his ashtray, what happens to the joint? It ends up in the pocket of the guys who are up front who'd smoke them! I think I'd rather work in a pizza place though where it's warm and there's music."

#izzy stradlin #izzy #jeff isbell #jeffrey dean isbell #izzy stradlin and the ju ju hounds #gnr #guns n roses #gunsnroses #gunsnfuckinroses #80s rock #rockstars #80s #90s rock

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