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#when it comes to you
alexiethymia · 1 year
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[book spoilers]
Lockwood’s idea of a grand gesture is to be more of a fool than usual, more death-defying than usual, to make sure that Lockwood & Co. was always on front page news because if Lucy was the best then Lockwood & Co. could be nothing less than THE best agency to deserve her, to get her to return. And no, he doesn’t stop there. He may not have asked you to return on bended knee like you wanted Lucy, but like any proper gentleman caller he couldn’t come to your door empty-handed. He brings THE case, that one case that Lucy could never refuse coming from Fittes herself. I bet he spent all those four months searching for that one case. Because see the plan was always for her to return and Lockwood has always been an end-justifies-the-means kind of guy. And the way he gets her on board speaks a lot about his own character and how well he knows Lucy.
Lockwood has always been slightly manipulative and he uses the full force of that skill during that reunion with Lucy. Every move was calculated. From his suit he wears like armor, each one carefully chosen. An old coat that reminds them of a case they worked on together, an immaculate new suit (Really? Just to hire her again?), and to top it all of, a tie which Lucy specifically gave him. He catches her off guard, he doesn’t give her time to get her bearings. He knows asking her outright to return wouldn’t work. Even if he did beg, that already failed when he ended up so angry that he left Lucy behind in that cafe (the fact that Lockwood who prides himself on being a gentleman could leave a girl, and Lucy of all people, shows that his emotions were completely haywire that day). In other words, Lucy’s stubbornness proved stronger than his own. So he had to change tactics. He had to make sure that her returning would be all her idea, that she would return all on her own.
Because see, he didn’t need a case to see her. He could have visited at any time after they didn’t have closure when Lucy snuck away in the dawn to leave. He could have normalized ties between them and remained friends even as Lucy was now a freelance agent. But he didn’t. He made sure they didn’t have closure. He didn’t even acknowledge her leaving because to do otherwise would make it final. On Lucy’s end I think she wouldn’t have minded if they could be friends and talk casually together again. She wanted it. But that’s not what Lockwood wanted. He wouldn’t have been satisfied unless Lucy was back home with them. Like a jilted lover, he needed a grand gesture to draw her back in.
So he does everything. He lies. “I wouldn’t ask you again to return.” “It’s just a one-off.” “One night, two max.” But and even though Lucy couldn’t fully see through him, what they really meant, she did pick up on signs of him fraying and unraveling. The uncertain smile that was simultaneously just for her and was shades paler than his usual gigawatt smile, the slight bitterness that she was willing to work with other agencies but not his, that studied nonchalance as if he wasn’t keeping track of her progress and whereabouts the same way Lucy tried not to follow news of Lockwood and Co., the deflection, deflection, deflection.
He doesn’t answer properly regarding Holly because he still thinks she might have had something to do with Lucy leaving.
“George didn’t like it.” This is his mixing up of I and we tendency again but way worse. For him to use George to say that she was missed was egregious because couldn’t he just say that he missed her? Or even we missed you, we didn’t like it [the idea of replacing you]. It wouldn’t be so strange. He is as much her friend as George. Unless her leaving cut him more deeply. And we know he represses that sh*t. So he doesn’t even include himself in the equation anymore maybe because he thought it would make Lucy uncomfortable because not even him losing control of his emotions, being exposed and raw could get her to stay. Or at least that’s what he tells himself when in reality he’s fortified his barriers once again. He made himself open for Lucy, all the anger he’d kept tightly locked inside, and still - she left. So he can’t even talk to Lucy anymore without using someone or something as a conduit, projecting himself because he can’t expose himself to that sort of vulnerability again until he accomplishes his goal. So yeah there’s plenty of bitterness on his part, but what trumps that, always trumps it and his pride (because I’m sure part of him expected that Lucy would come back earlier on her own so he was just waiting and when that didn’t happen because see in a contest of wills Lucy’s would always trump his own, he’s weak when it comes to her, he’s the one who comes to her instead) - is that base desire for her to just come back.
#lockwood and co#locklyle#lockwood & co#anthony lockwood#lucy carlyle#see this is why I like manipulative characters#but ouch the angst#he was desperate by that point#you can’t tell me he didn’t have a plan a to z#everything is muted from lucy’s perspective because she always downplays everything lockwood does to or in relation to her#except at least she picked up his tendency to be self-sacrificial for her#but of course she turns it around and assumes it’s entirely her fault because she can’t control her emotions#when you know lucy it could be that it’s lockwood who can’t control his emotions#when it comes to you#see this is why I will not survive if there isn’t a second#(and hopefully third and fourth best case scenario four seasons)#because I desperately need to see that cafe conversation from outside lucy’s pov#because if that’s the way she described it#then lockwood must have been livid and entirely heartbroken#which doubles the angst when you consider what they went through this first season#and while he may have been aware of his feelings for lucy this first season#I think he took the stupid stupid route of thinking he wasn’t good enough for her#which is why he sort of stays away during the events of the hollow boy as to not burden her with his feelings#which unfortunately also contributed to lucy feeling that perhaps she did have to leave#when that was the last thing he wanted he never meant or even wanted for her to go#there is so much angst in the hollow boy and the creeping shadown#they already tripled the angst with the first season#if we get the second season focusing on these two books with perhaps a mid season finale at the point where lucy leaves the agency#I will not survive the angst#but I still need it
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savvygooner · 3 months
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Fridayy - When It Comes To You
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euesworld · 1 year
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"Do I have a kitten for a heart? Cause it always feels like it is rolling around and playing when it comes to you.. I am so in looooove with you, just purrrrr."
You make my heart purr - eUë
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knwn · 13 days
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“This shits like journal entry… journal entry..”🎵
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I done gave my all to you, fell in the deep end
You done came into my life while I was sinkin'
I been on that type of time with demons
All the times I was outside, I was creepin'
It was love at first sight, girl, when you walked in
Couldn't look deep in your eyes 'cause I get locked in
You was hurtin' deep inside and you was broken
But I was on the other side and didn't notice
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When it comes to you, I've never been smart
You could break my heart
A thousand times and more
In the end, I still find myself at your door
When it Comes to You
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redbleedingrose · 1 year
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I AM GONNA COMBUST 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨🤤🤤🤤
JUST COME HERE‼️‼️‼️‼️
GONNA SMOTHER YOU IN SMOOCHES 😤😘
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mantecol · 2 years
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BWHAHAHA that’s so romantic
Im a hopeless romantic what can I say
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wizard-laundry · 4 months
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heeppy hoolida
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hansoeii · 8 months
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look at you, you're gorgeous!
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marypsue · 5 months
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Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.
All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.
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mrtequilasunset · 5 months
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Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.
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batcavescolony · 8 months
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THE TIKTOK PEOPLE ARE SAYING THEY MADE GONCHAROV!!!!!
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inkskinned · 8 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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music-in-my-veins14 · 12 days
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youtube
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the-phantom-peach · 9 months
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🗣️ huh?? what do you mean I haven’t posted any Link signing propaganda yet??
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