#when it was first Off-Broadway and whatnot

[per-the-jellicle-magician]

What Warsaw character is most similar to their general stage counterpart? And who's the most different? Visually or through choreography / storyline

Hi, thanks for the ask. Those are very interesting questions and the short answers are: visually it's a bit complicated, but most of the "main" characters are decently similar to their general replica counterparts, and story-wise the biggest differences I think are with Victoria, Misto, Demeter and Griz, while the rest of the "mains" are mostly similar to what you'd expect

Long answers after the obligatory read more cuz it got pretty long XD

Starting with the visual stuff, it's mostly complicated by the fact that Warsaw is a non replica and has a rather unique visual style. With that in mind, I would say most of the main characters are actually pretty similar to their replica counterparts, in that you can rather easily recognize who is who based on their costumes when they appear on stage. The patterns and shapes are different but the colours and vibes generally match (Munk is gray, Alonzo is white with some black, Victoria is white, Skimble is orange, Gus and Griz look old and falling apart etc). The only main ones that don't really look similar in this sense are Jellylorum (Warsaw is darker gray with black wig), Jemima (pale pink with black spots and black wig, very glam style as opposed to punk rock replica one) and Cass (black instead of brown).

It's a little hard to tell for me how recognizable they actually are, given how very familiar i am with them, but i'm guessing that for example here the ones least recognizable are Victor and Jemima in the second photo

Speaking of Victor, most of Warsaw' side characters don't really match visually their replica counterparts, and you basically need a cheat sheet to recognize who is who

One fun way to look at the visual similarities are Warsaw's psychic twins. They don't look very similar to their replica counterparts, but their costumes' shape and make up is the most similar to the general cats costume vibe out of all Warsaw costumes so I thought they deserve an honorary mention

And now, story-wise

I'm just gonna focus on the "main" characters, and for the most part it's pretty matched. I think the most similar to their general vibe are Jelly, Gus, Skimble and Old D. Basically they're what you'll expect, and I don't really have much to say about that. But those who are different, that's a different story. I already mentioned it's Victoria, Misto, Demeter and Griz, I can't really pick one so i'm just gonna break it down for all of them

Victoria

As opposed to the regular Vic, Warsaw Vic is very much a little kitten. I'm pretty sure someone said she was the youngest, maybe she is, either way she is very young. And with that she doesn't get a pas de deux with it's coming of age or whatnot vibe, just 2 solos. And in those solos she's taking stars out of the sky so i'd say her being at least a bit magical is another difference.

And the last one: she is really scared of Griz up until halfway through "Memory". First Griz entrence - she's hiding behind the closest adults the whole time, second one - Tumble needs to escort her off stage cuz she's not gonna move if there's no one between her and Griz, and it changes only during "Memory"

Misto

I'm putting him here with the caveat that he is quite different to the current general version. He is more similar to the old versions like old Broadway and stuff, with being full adult, using magic way more and generally being more confident and stuff. Speaking of magic, he's proficient both with actual magic and stage magic, whereas I don't think regular Misto does much of the latter. Plus his power set is closer to what general Mac got, mostly mind controlling and disappearing in the shadows. He does a lot of mind controlling everyone and moving stuff around throughout the show.

There is a difference in choreography in his song too, with some of the dancing being given to other cats or replaced by the magic show, plus the turns got moved after old D is saved. Also his relationship with Tugger, they are very much best friends, got a special handshake and a very much well rehearsed magic show, plus he is the one getting the screen and licks down and moving half the set during RTT. Like there's less fangirling and more "i got you bro" between them, at least to me.

Also, this is kinda random, but he's taller XD. Og Warsaw Misto is 180 cm/5'11 and it's just a funny detail when generally everyone else tries to have Misto on the shorter side XD

Demeter

There are 2 main differences about Warsaw Deme, and it's the fact Griz is her mother and that she seems to be less anxious and more angry when it comes to Mac. First one, adds layer to the fact she is the one to introduce Griz, and then she spends every Griz appearance torn and anxious cuz she clearly wants her back but can't/shouldn't want it.

And with Mac, yeah, to me she seems more moved on from him than general Deme, still bit anxious and scared when he attacks but also kinda more pissed off. More "he's my ex that I'm angry with" than "he's my ex that i'm afraid of". Also little less admiring him. Like she seems more anxious about the Griz stuff than Mac stuff. And while she isn't the one to spot Mac in disguise, she is very much trying to get everyone away and later after he disappears seems to use herself as a bait to get him in the open so the guys can take him out

Griz

Besides the fact that current trend is Young Griz and Warsaw one is very much old, one difference in her story is the aforementioned fact that Demeter is her daughter. Which gives her a new reason to be there and also in the song Deme states Griz was forgotten by the clan.

Another difference is Griz's motivation. This is just my theory, but based on Jemima's line in "Moments of Happiness" where the last line she sings "And you'll feel that you want to be one of us again and you'll start to live again" I don't think Griz crashed the party first 2 times with wanting to be taken back in mind.

Again, just my theory, but to me it seems she gets there wanting to see her daughter and her maybe ex-lover maybe ex-friend Old D once more before she dies, it doesn't pan out. But then Jemima comes in with this "hey follow the memory, you still got the chance". It changes Griz's mind and she comes back again. And the line in "Memory" that seems to get everyone on board, the one right before Jemi comes in, is "I so wish I could turn back time", so in a way she does actually kinda say "sorry" and/or "please take me back", whatever interpretation we want. It's not just the appeal to their goodness and memory of her (which they may or may not have consciously tried to erase), but she actually reaches out to them in this more direct way. And/or apologizes for whatever she did that made her leave and get forgotten if we wanna go with that.

So yeah, this got kinda really long and is probably more detailed than expected but well, I can talk a lot about Warsaw when prompted XD

Thanks again for the ask 💖

#oh yeah it got long and kinda detailed XD #idk if you wanted that or smth short and sweet XD #cats the musical #cats warsaw #grizabella #victoria cats #mistoffelees #demeter cats #jellicle cats #warsaw guy talks #ask post

[kelsiejayy]

Hi there, love! I was wondering if I could have a Criminal Minds and Marvel ship!

I’m a straight female, Sagittarius, INTJ-T, and Slytherin. I love Broadway and I’m a piano player. I sing in my school choir. I love Harry Potter, marvel, and stuff to do with crime solving and whatnot. I’m very sarcastic, to the point of being mean unfortunately. But yet I take things very literal. I love Disney world and Universal Studios. I have good grades, very good grades actually. Ummmm I’m sorta artistic but mostly logical. I don’t put up with attitude from anyone and won’t hesitate to tell someone off or tell them they’re wrong.

I think that’s all!

Thank you and have a lovely day!

thank you for your request!

CRIMINAL MINDS: hotch!

assuming you would work at the bau at first i feel like you and hotch would butt heads...he wouldn't like your sarcastic approach to things and it would kinda piss him off if you argued with his ideas(even if he knew you were right). but eventually, i think it would become the thing he loves about you. i can't give you too many date night scenarios because y'all are probably working nonstop to even go out on dates but when you can they're definitely classy dinners at nice restaurants. he also makes it his mission to take you to disney land every year on your birthday but the first time he does this you make him watch every marvel and harry potter movie so he can be fully prepared. it takes a while to get through but for you, he's doing everything i mean c'mon. overall i feel like the relationship would be very classy but there would always be light-hearted jabs thrown around to make the other smile(which is perfect bc hotch needs someone to make him smile more).

MARVEL: peter parker!

ok maybe i am a little biased bc your profile is peter but never the less i am standing by this statement. you guys are the definition of young sweethearts and he is absolutely whipped. he probably wouldn't catch your sarcastic remarks at first and would get confused easily but i don't think he would even care. your date nights are always movie nights, you're watching everything and anything. harry potter and star wars are your top two series but i can see y'all just scrolling through netflix and picking some dumb rom-com to make fun of. since both of you guys are star students there would also be quite a few study dates although idk if you guys would ever get anything actually done

i hope you enjoyed it! this one was really fun to write, if you have any feedback feel free to leave it in my ask box!

if you would like to request a ship check out my blog they are open as of 6/22

#ships #marvel ship #criminal minds ship #arron hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner ship #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker ship

[pluviophile-bookworm]

HSMTMTS 3x2: The stakes have never been higher

I’ve been semi-off the grid for the past week or so, and will be even more off-the-grid for another, so I’m now so late to this episode, but from what I’ve been glimpsing during my very brief online presence, it seems quite a bit more promising than the first one. I just hope I’m not disappointed again. I’m putting off re-packing my suitcase for this. But, the thing is, waiting extra long to get here has sort of made me care more about the show again, so I suppose there’s that. Let’s dive in at last and see what this one’s got to offer.

‘Disney+’s Frozen: the Musical: the Series’? This season is entirely too meta and I love that! Also, EJ, they would totally call it that. I mean, they sort of already did once, not that you’d know… and now I sort of want season four to be about the characters becoming aware they’re, well, characters in a tv show… that would be something for real. And I’m only half-joking here.

Also, can we acknowledge how wholesome Portwell are being here? Love that for them. I refuse to take any part in any ship wars, besides, if you recall, I didn’t really see Portwell coming until halfway into season 2 (oblivious much?), but like, they’re the real deal. If we can’t have Redlyn or Seblos this season, at least there’s still them.

Idk why, but Maddox is just bothering me entirely too much. Which is a shame because I wanted to like her. But then again, I wanted to like ‘Napoleon over here’ (yes, I’m still calling him that, it’s now become part of honouring Big Red who first called him that) and then he severely disappointed me, so… I suppose the lesson which can be learnt here is ‘never get attached to a new character before you’ve seen them actually in the show’ or something…

I said it once before and I’ll say it again (and I’ll probably say it at least once an episode if things keep going in the same direction they are now) — Carlos is entirely too relatable this season. Not that he wasn’t before, but, come on, Broadway-diva-in-the-making Carlos Rodriguez in a summer camp setting? Hits different.

I am so intrigued by Jet though… like, I want to know more about him, and I want it now. Just give it to me already…

Kourtney without her phone is reminding me a lot of me in my last year of high school when I had to cut off flour and sugar from my diet in order to get into my prom dress… would not recommend. But yeah, I was fully just scenting bread whenever I went even where there was definitely none, and can I just say I feel for Kourt here…

Ashlyn saying Gina’s brought 1.0 to camp… sort of true, and it’s not like a little bit of that is a bad thing at all, or like she means it in a bad way. Like, come on, these two are sisters. They love each other. But Gina 2.5 is a Gina I’m liking a lot. And this season’s soundtrack is really pulling out all the stoppers, isn’t it? I feel like no matter how the other aspects of the show may get, the music is still going to be the best part of it all, and that’s saying a lot.

Ricky ‘rewinding’ himself was so funny and adorable and, like, embracing the obvious awkwardness of the moment… love that for him honestly. I feel like he’s on a good path this season and I’ll be back to liking him full time, not just occasionally.

‘Friends? Enemies? Lovers? *looks at camera*’ Ricky is fully giving bi energy here and I can’t say I (and about a few thousands more people on here) didn’t call it ages ago. Now can we please just make it happen?

Ok but Ricky and Gina at the sight of EJ and Val hugging reminded me a lot, for whatever reason, of Angelica and Laurens at the Hamilton wedding. I said what I said. Just… idk. That was the vibe I got for some reason.

And… suddenly I want to see tiny Val and EJ together in The Sound of Music… I love that show and I love the thought of these two as tiny little kids, being the best of friends and whatnot… just… add that to the list of scenes I’ll never see except for in my imagination, ok.

Ok but Maddox is just really getting on my nerves right now… it’s one thing being used to do things by yourself, but it’s another to rudely refuse any sort of help. What scares me the most about her, however, is that I feel like I’m seeing quite a bit of myself in her and I’m just not liking that at all. Like, I want to like her, and then I don’t, and then it’s because she reminds me of the side of me I’m still learning to love… an acquired taste, alright. Is it possible to be terribly annoyed by a character and still relate to them way too much? Because that’s where I’m at with Maddox right now.

‘… you’re not even friends. You’re the competition’… Now why would Gina say that… to her fans, too? Like, she might have gone through some stuff and learnt a few lessons along the way, but they’ve not been through what she’s been through. What if they mess things up royally because of her words of advice? But hey, that’s a solid reminder that Gina is still just a kid, too, and she’s got a lot to learn yet.

EJ embracing his inner Miss Jenn is… well, something I didn’t know I was supposed to expect, but then, is it a season of HSMTMTS if the director doesn’t circle everyone up and sing a song from the show they’re doing in the highest pitch they’re capable of? Or… or if Ricky doesn’t show up late with a bang? I think Carlos put it best here, in another one of his highly-quotable one-liners: ‘Now that’s tradition!’ Enough said.

I was going to comment on individual performances during this audtition montage, but… how could I single anyone out? Everybody is just lovely and, like, I came prepared with a cast list but I don’t know anymore… except… Alex and Emmy are 100% young Elsa and Anna and you can’t convince me otherwise.

One thing other than the music which I’m loving about this season is definitely the guest stars. I mean, Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Nini’s donor wasn’t something I wanted or expected or anything, but now that I’ve got it, I’m just curious to see the dynamics. And the contractually obligated awkwardness is there, but it’s sort of a positive, embraced awkwardness. I said last time that I didn’t care much about Nini’s story this season and that was because I thought they’d be basically just replicating Olivia’s own, but it seems I’ve underestimated this show’s potential in terms of storylines. I like this much more than a 100% focus on her music or whatever. That might be a bit of a controversial opinion, but it’s my opinion and I’ll stand by it until I don’t believe in it anymore… if that ever happens.

So… let me get this straight (or, like, as straight as possible when there are exclusively queer people involved) — Marvin and Nini’s mums were in a band together? Well, then, you can say it runs in the family, indeed. See, now that makes any music-related Nini storyline that much more interesting to me.

Pls… Jet arriving an hour late to the auditions and everyone just supporting him, no questions asked (shout-out to Ricky and Ashlyn especially)? I’m not crying, you’re crying! And I love his vocals, too. But in a show like this, that was a given.

‘He’s like a little Ricky’. Couldn’t have said it better myself. And… proud big brother (?) Ricky is my new favourite Ricky.

I love it so much when songs tie so inseparably into the context of their scene in the show… and You Never Know has definitely got that going for it. I mean, the first verse mirroring what Marvin told Nini, and then the title being the same as The University Clowns’ one big hit… I love that for it. And the music in this season continues to be top-notch.

Pls Ashlyn’s got a BATB rose? Love that so much!! It’s just a nice detail, you know. Also, it makes me wonder if maybe Big Red gave it to her?

Has… has Gina defending Maddox got to do anything with the fact that, out of all three Wildcat girls, she’s the only one Maddox hasn’t been vaguely rude to yet? And what… what was Maddox up to in the dark? I need details and I need them now. And I want to know what it is in the cast list that Carlos refuses to let happen… I suppose I’ll have to spend another week barely-online, waiting to find out… I sort of like it how life is making me more interested in HSMTMTS by taking it away from me for the 2nd week in a row. But I hope this next one will be the last one like this.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts season 3 #hsmtmts s3 #hsmtmts spoilers #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #gina porter #ej caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #carlos rodriguez #kourtney greene #maddox hsmtmts #jet hsmtmts #val hsmtmts #jnk watches hsmtmts

[ollietreetime]

Oooooo character solidifying, 19 for Doozy

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

I don’t think Doozy expected to find a job acting and singing to be so difficult. 

Doozy comes from a family that is very Not Showbiz (butchers that live in a rural area) and she basically ran off to NYC to pursue her acting dreams. She's someone who has done a ton of research on the business in her spare time, and thought she knew all she needed to about the industry, but reading about something is completely different from experiencing it. She fully thought that her ability to act and sing would be able to carry her to live broadway stages, but it ended up being… a lot harder than that. 

I think she was really depressed for a bit when she discovered that she couldn’t just audition and get in like she used to, but in order to distract herself she just KEPT!!!! AUDITIONING EVERYWHERE SHE COULD in between working minimum wage jobs elsewhere. She had been in local plays and whatnot back home enough times that it seemed like being given a role would come naturally, but in NYC she is less of a big fish in a small pond and more of a big minnow in a massive ocean. I think that’s when she started turning more to voice acting jobs to see if she could get anything, and she was lucky enough to come across Mayhem Studio and audition. She eventually got the role of Alice, her first serious acting job, which she is over the moon about now. 

I think her current deepest disillusion is that no matter how hard she tries, no matter the leads she gets and the research she does, she can’t seem to help the people she cares about most. 

#shazzbaa #ollietreeanswers #dorothy 'doozy' chrystel #batim fusion #ollietreeocs #batim #batim oc #doozy is so so excited about this role. she's worked so hard. she's so excited that her work is finally paying off #but at the same time there are places in her life where she wishes she had done better. or she thought she did her best #but it wasn't enough to help the people who needed it most.

[miss-multifandom-mess]

Okay, so this is sort of a story time post?? Anyway! This is how I first sort of got into Star Trek (aside from me being bored after watching the last season of Sherlock for the hundredth time):

The first fandom I have ever been into was Gravity Falls, okay? And I once watched a charity stream with Alex Hirsch, Jason Ritter and Kristen Schaal. And in this stream video, Jason Ritter sang You’ll Be Back from the musical Hamilton. That’s what got me into Hamilton, because by then I was already listening to the soundtrack and watching animatics.

So I was into Hamilton for quite awhile that I began learning the actors and actresses names and whatnot (like ever fan does, so don’t say you’re not one of those people 😂). And, looking at Jonathan Groff’s movies and TV shows he’s been in, I was shocked and amazed to see that he voiced as Kristoff from Frozen. And then all of a sudden I began getting news about the Hamilton cast that Google suggests to me based on my searches and such.

And I remember I was suggested an old article—I think from 2015 or somewhere around that time when Hamilton first came to Broadway. It was an article of Jonathan Groff being in a relationship with actor Zachary Quinto, and I thought, “Aw, they’re a cute couple!” But then I see another one saying they broke up soon after I think.

But then I began looking into what Zachary Quinto was in, and I saw that he was in Star Trek 2009. Now, at that point I was saying to myself, “I don’t think I’ll ever be interested in something like that.” (But here I am, obsessed with Star Trek.)

But I never watched it because I thought my dad got rid of the movie a long while back. So I forget about it and get into more fandoms as time goes on. But then I’m looking through movies my family owns after watching Sherlock, and see the movie! 👀 After so long of forgetting about it! So I put the movie in.

So I’m watching the film, I see AOS!Spock for the first time. I’m like, “He looks familiar...” At that point I’m looking through the cast and I’m like, “OH YEAH! He once dated Jonathan Groff!” 😂

And then I’m into both Star Trek and Hamilton and I see there’s more Star Trek shows and I start watching those and so on and so forth.

I know, you must be thinking I’m weird. And I am! But I’ve already gotten this far into typing up this post and there’s no turning back (even if I’m given the option to delete it). But I don’t intend to sound mean or anything, in case I at some point gave off those vibes. I know it’s weird to look into people’s relationship statuses, but I was young and naive when first getting into the fanboy state and discovering new things; even discovering myself! So yeah, thanks for sticking with me if you’ve gotten this far in reading. XD

#star trek #spock #aos #long post #shit post #brooks rants #zachary quinto #hamilton an american musical #jonathan groff #star trek alternate original series #aos spock #jason ritter #alex hirsch #kristen schaal #gravity falls #you’ll be back #kristoff #disney frozen #broadway #sherlock bbc

[kylo-hen]

The Milk Man

A/N Hello I wrote this while I was in a Sackler mood yesterday at like 4 am and its the first actual smut I’ve written so bare with me! There is quite a bit of build up because for some reason I love establishing characters. It’s also vaguely  plus sized!reader but not strictly! Anyways, hope you enjoy & my inbox is always open for requests/feedback.

Adam Sackler x Reader

Summary: You run into an intense man in the dairy section in the dairy isle one Saturday Morning, and by Saturday Night he’s in your bed.

Warnings: SMUT! Spanking, name calling, Oral (F receiving), hair pulling, longer build up, and oat milk.

    Living in New York has its odd challenges here and there. There aren’t dishwashers in unit, rent is the price of one’s soul, people were colder, and grocery shopping was a drag. This Saturday morning was supposed to be relaxing, no work, no designs, no awkward booty calls from dudes I met in the club a moth ago looking for some action. It was all looking up until I looked in my fridge and remembered the Wednesday ritual was pushed back because of a meeting.

     With a groan I resigned myself to the reality that I would have to do some chores before I could allow myself the relaxing pamper day I deserved. Once I was out of my apartment, down a couple blocks, and at the grocery store I was relieved to know that on a Saturday morning it was pretty empty. Only a couple people that really just ignored each other as they passed in the cereal isle or the small produce section.

     It was an overall normal trip until I made it to the dairy section. There in front of the large selection of milk stood, what I could only describe as, a smoldering giant hunched over a comedically small phone.

    Usually in this kind of situation I would let them be, but he just happened to be in front of the only brand of Oat Milk I actually like, so it seemed like I would have to wait it out. This dude, however, was not one to mind social cues. After what felt like five minutes of awkwardly waiting off to the side for this dude to get the message and move on from the last bit of the store I needed before I could get on with my day, I decided he wouldn’t move without a nudge.

     “Ehm,” I cleared my throat softly, hoping that would alert him to my presence, “Excuse me.” The man barely grunted, acknowledging I was there but continuing to frustratedly channel into whatever he was doing on his phone. “Excuse me?” I said louder, hoping to get a civil response.

    “What the fuck do you want?” He finally snapped at me, actually turning to look at me. That was also the first time I was able to see him fully. The man was hot, I’ll give him that much. His tall frame matched by solid muscle, a tasteful amount of facial hair that suited the intense features, and now a scowl. A scowl that was presently pointed in my direction while I ogled at him. “What the fuck do you want?” he demanded again; this time much harsher. I took a step back, not really expecting this full-bodied giant to be yelling at me on a Saturday morning in the grocery.

    “Fuck,” I muttered to myself trying to dip into some of my confidence I gained in the years living here and finding it much harder to let his anger flow off my skin as it usually does. “I’m- fuck- I just need some of the oat milk and you-“ I rambled on but stopped at the sound of a deep sigh from the man in front of me. “I’m sorry, I’ll just-“ I abruptly turned, figuring the milk wasn’t even worth it anymore. The experience spoiled any hopes for a peaceful day, and the faster I made it back to my apartment the faster I could wallow in the new mood crashing over me.

     “Wait, shit!” I heard from behind me before I felt two large hands brace my shoulders. One thing the man didn’t expect was for my self defense lessons to kick in the second he grabbed me. I swung my elbow into his stomach, well because of his height it ended up being more of an elbow to the man’s balls. As I turned and backed away from him, I noticed in his hands he had the milk I was looking at earlier. Shit fuck fucking shit fuck! He was trying to give me the fucking milk!

    “Oh my god, I’m so sorry fuck, shit!” I moved to help him stand up, his face beet red a twisted up as he processed the pain, I unintentionally put him in.

    “Fuuuck,” he groaned out while he took some deep breathes, “I, fuck you’re a good shot… I just wanted to give you the fuckin’ milk.” He muttered out, still mostly bent over. Guilt washed over me in waves. I just attacked the poor guy trying to give me milk, even if he yelled at me earlier. Fuck, I can’t believe I just did that. My body heated up in shame, burning from the inside out, hoping that I could just melt within my own skin. The day only getting worse by the minute, I prayed that I would get to my apartment in peace so I wouldn’t cause any more damage.

    “I’m so fucking sorry,” I said again, not being able to emphasize it enough, as he began to recover more and more, and stand taller but not his full height, “Thank you for the milk.” I said still feeling the dark pungent shame in my chest. As he stood up more and more, he handed me the milk.

    “Don’t-“ he breathed sharply, still regaining his footing after being in pain, “Don’t apologize kid.” He muttered the name out at me and I wondered how old he was suddenly, or how young I looked trembling in the middle of the grocery store. “I was a dick.” He breathed and straightened fully, towering over me.

    “No, no, “ I denied his apology, shocked that he wasn’t pissed anymore, “I shouldn’t just go around attacking people, you didn’t deserve that.” I took the milk that I realized he was trying to give me still.

    “Nah, don’t sweat it kid,” again with the fucking nickname, oddly enough it lit a fire in me somewhere I hadn’t felt in years. “I should’ve known better than to just grab a lady.” He smiled at me, chuckling at his own joke and I smiled with him. His moods sending me for a bit of a loop, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle myself.

    “I still feel bad,” I admitted to him, he tilted his head curiously, “could I get you a cup of coffee or something?” I offered, hoping that he wouldn’t be too offended by the offer. Something about this man was drawing me in, his effect leaving me wanting more and more. What the hell is going on with me today?

   “Oh, I don’t drink coffee.” He stated, rejecting me bluntly and with that statement. The shame bubbled hire a fire burning in my cheeks whether he can see it or not I was embarrassed. Another time I put myself out there, thinking I read a situation one way, and it going very differently. My eyes suddenly very interested at the floor rather than the attractive man before me. “Shit,” he muttered to himself, “Not, I don’t drink coffee but maybe we could get lunch or some shit?” he offered with a cocky smile.

    My eyes snapped up to meet his, a warm feeling that for once wasn’t shame flooded my veins, I smiled at him in return, “Yeah we can get lunch and shit.” I replied easily, proud of myself for regaining some of that confidence I usually held. But then I remembered where we were, and that I had a cart full of groceries I needed to get home, it seemed he was coming down in the same way. “Actually…” I trailed off, not knowing his name.

    “Adam.” He answered and shook the milk carton playfully in lou of my hand, “Adam Sackler.” His crooked teeth poking out through his smile making my heart pound faster in my chest.

    “Adam,” I hummed, testing out the way his name felt on my lips. It felt like they were always meant to say his name. “Since you don’t drink coffee, which seems sac religious to me,” I allowed myself to flirt with him, testing the water, “And I’ve got a shit ton of groceries to put away, what about dinner tonight?” I asked.

     He laughed, unabashedly checking me out, my chest tightened hoping he liked what he saw, “Fuck yeah, dinner sounds great.” He replied confidently, boosting my confidence.

    “Alright Sackler, it’s a date.”

    After exchanging numbers, into his comically outdated flip phone, we decided to meet at the grocery store before dinner. I rushed home to clean my apartment, a girl can be hopeful, and get ready for any outcome of the date. It had been months since any person had given me any romantic indication, dating apps had long since run dry and I was tired of having to explain my size to people before they met me. Rarely after meeting someone, in real life, had they shown as much interest that Adam has shown me in the last hour. That meant I was hopeful and hope was a dangerous game for a girl like me.

    By the time it came to meet up with Adam I was a nervous wreck. My brain kept trying to convince me of the worst-case scenarios as I made the walk to meet up with him. All of those thoughts seemed to fade to black when I saw him. He was dressed casually, as I was as well, in a pair of dark wash jeans and a white t-shirt. He smiled when he saw me approaching, he perked up from where he was leaning and met me halfway.

    “Sorry if I’m late, there was a man trying to save the turtles outside my apartment and I’ve already out run him twice so he’s out for blood.” I joked when he was finally close enough to me. He laughed at my ice breaker, and I thanked all the powers at play that he had a sense of humor, he was shaping up to be quite a catch as long as his mood stayed up.

   “Don’t sweat it kid, I got here early anyways. Fuckin’ in my bones at this point with acting and shit.” He grumbled the last bit as he flailed his arms about. An actor? I’d never actually been on a date with an actor before, I mean with there being globs of them in the city for Broadway and whatnot. I always assumed they were stuck up about looks, and if anyone could be Adam was definitely a hot enough actor to be picky.

    “You’re an actor?” I asked coyly, hopefully digging deeper into the mysterious moody man.     “Yeah, also do some other shit.” He answered vaguely which only drew me in deeper to the mystery of this man. Who the fuck is he? And why the fuck is he so hot? “I know this diner just a couple blocks that way, does that sound good?” He asked considerately, and in that moment, I swear I could marry him.

    “Fuck yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about, Lou’s is a fucking gem.” He responded with a grin, wide and unabashed, that made my heart flutter. But even when I made my way that direction, he kept his gaze on me, not in a creepy way but in a refreshing way. He acted like if he didn’t take all of me in now, that I would disappear forever, or that I would have been a figment of his mind. When I looked back at him a moment of sadness crossed his features, maybe it wasn’t sadness, maybe it was fear. He looked so young for just a split second, and I saw him, I really saw him.

    So instead of saying anything I simply reached out and offered my hand, and he grabbed it. With that we began walking back in the direction of my apartment on the way to the diner, and throughout the walk we talked about meaningless things like the mean lady that lives in his building to his morning run routine. I kept it light, trying to stay away from sticky topics before we sat down, but I also wanted to actually know who I was going out with.

    Once we were seated, the games began. Adam and I ordered before we got into a grittier subject matter but instead of just asking, Adam wanted to make it more fun. So, like middle school girls at a sleepover, Adam suggested we play truth or dare.

    “Truth.” I stated with no hesitation, what could he even dare me to do right now? It’s not like anything juicy could happen while we were in public.

    “Oh, come on, you scared of what I could dare you to do?” He taunted at me, still flashing his signature crooked grin.

     “I’m giving you an opportunity to ask me whatever you want Sackler, use it wisely.” I goaded him testing his waters, watching his reaction to see if he was game. His eyes trailed down to my shirt. Bingo, he’s interested.

    “Alright Kid, when was the last time you got laid?” He went straight out of the gate with a sexual question. The longer I spend with him the more apparent it becomes that Sackler might be a little sexually deviant, that thought only escalated the fire burning in my belly.

    “It’s been about six months since I got laid,” I started, “But about a year since I actually, let’s say, enjoyed getting laid.” I clarified, feeding into the building sexual tension.

    “Hmm, that’s a crime,” he responded, trailing his eyes over every part of me visible across the booth, “They should be punished for leaving a woman like you unsatisfied.” He murmured, leaning forward tracing a finger along one of my hands placed on the table. Every light touch, even if it looked innocent, felt dirty and drenched in the want I had for this man.

    “Truth or dare Sackler?” I angled my torso to him so he could see down my shirt, I could see his reaction, his eyes start to glaze over, his mouth open, ready. I had never been with a man so openly affected by me and at every move I took the opportunity to tease him.

     “Fuck, Truth.” He said, not really paying attention to what he responded with but more paying attention to the parts of myself I was revealing to him.

    “What do you think of me Adam?” I asked softly, some could even say sensually, as I retracted my hand and my body, ripping away the points of contact that he was latching to physically and visually. He suddenly retreated his stance as well, looking me in the eyes to see a knowing smile already dancing across my features.  He groaned playfully, knowing he played right into my hands.

      “Fuck, kid, what do I think of you?” He asked redundantly, “For starters I think you’re the biggest fucking tease and if we weren’t in public right now, I’d put you over my knee and punish you.” He began, speaking in a low threatening tone. Every word, every syllable, every fucking letter sent a shockwave to my core, shaking my resolve and tumbling every other instinct down. I let a soft delicate whimper, only loud enough for him to hear, pass my lips as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back to take in what else he was saying. “You’re a tease, but you’re also fuckin’ gorgeous.” I snapped my head open, not expecting a real genuine compliment from the sexual haze we were in.

    “What?” it slipped out of my lips before I could really do anything about it.

    “Kid,” he began, by putting his hand on top of mine and staring so far into my soul I felt like I was naked in front of him, “You’re so fucking beautiful, like I- I saw you this morning and fuck I think you might actually be perfect and fuck! Like even if you’re not, you’re better than that.” He said and I couldn’t remember the last time I had ever felt like this, maybe never. He was so different, and intense, but funny, and God I want to sleep with this man, but I also want to cook dinner with him and see how he likes his eggs, or what his favorite book is, and who hurt him. I want him, and he wants me.

    “Thank you,” I began, getting a bit shyer under the smoldering chestnut eyes, “I don’t think anyone has ever called me gorgeous before, or if they have, I can’t remember.” I explained, trying to brush it off as a joke, but he doubled down.

    “They must be blind kid, or stupid.” He chuckled to himself, “Probably fuckin’ both.” He smiled, and I smiled back, bursting at the seams, but before I could respond our waitress came with our food.

    The spell we were under before we got food was somewhat broken when we were eating, returning to the more casual atmosphere, talking about our jobs and whatnot. He was really interested in knowing more about my job which made me feel almost as special as before the food came, but I kept it to surface details for now. Adam had a lot of weird habits from what I could tell, he cursed like a sailor, and he got super intense then switched back to normal out of nowhere. Yet, despite all the odd facts this man drew me in every time he opened his mouth, he had me on the edge of my seat constantly. Throughout the meal I couldn’t help but wonder, what’s going to happen next?

    When we both finished our meals the tension from before began to seep back into the conversation in doses. By the time the waitress returned with the check it was pretty clear Adam was ready to get out of there, and I wasn’t much farther behind. While Adam went to fish for his wallet, I threw enough cash out on the table to cover both meals, not wanting to linger for change. Adam looked like he was going to protest, but I just offered my hand out to him.

    “I asked you out,” I explained, leading him out of the restaurant and back on the sidewalk. “Its only polite I pay since I invited you out.” I turned to him and realized he was much closer to me than expected. He took a step closer to me and his long shaggy hair began to cover his face.

    “I guess I’ll just get it next them then kid.” He offered with a smile and I looked away, feeling an excitement bubble through me for more. “We never did finish our game.” He said not teasing anymore, I looked at him and pondered for a moment before answering his unspoken question.

     “Dare.” I said confidently this time, leaving him to smirk down at me in pride. He puffed up his chest and moved even closer. He leaned in like he was going to kiss me but just before he allowed our lips to finally meet, he stopped.

    “I dare you to kiss me.” His gruff tone sending my nerves haywire, a chill running down my spin at the command. His eyes darker than I had seen them, only balanced by the smirk on his lips daring me, goading me to follow through. The final straw was the sensation of his hands settling heavily on my waist, keeping me steady and sure as I surged forward and planted my lips on his.

    From there he wasted no time gaining access to my mouth and invading each of my senses one by one.

    Touch; the feeling of his tongue languidly pushing against mine, fighting a war for dominance and winning without hesitation. His hands finding themselves roaming over every point of my body, and mine deeply nestled in his hair.

    Sight; the possibilities of what comes next floating by in my head in vivid detail. The sheer number of ways this encounter could finish, all unbelievably tempting.  

     Sound; the deep velvet groan from his dulcet tones when I tugged on his chestnut locks, the whimper that snuck out of my mouth when his hands made home on my backside.

    Smell; the dark woodsy pine notes of his cologne mixed the sweet vanilla of my perfume creating an intoxicating scent.

    Taste; nothing I’ve had in my life could compare to the taste of Adam on my tongue, the feeling of wholeness only grew. My wanting grew with it, wondering if Adam tastes good now, what other perverse acts would taste even better.

     Eventually the heated kiss broke, and the depths of Adam’s eyes told me everything I needed to know in that moment. “My apartment is just a block that way.” I spoke breathlessly, pointing behind us in the direction the night would take place. He threw his head back with a groan, a sight that sent shockwaves of anticipation through my body and to my center. He nodded his head furiously.

    “Fuck yeah kid, lets go.” He spoke, pulling me along with my hand to head in the direction of my apartment. By the time we made outside my apartment and pulled out my keys Adam sprung into action, pulling my back to meet his front allowing me to feel the full effect I’ve had on him throughout the night. His errection dug itself into the curve of my behind and suddenly I realized just what I would be dealing with for the night. Adam Sackler is fucking hung.

    His kisses trailed up my neck, his hips grinding into my body and the noises he was making were borderline pornographic. The task of opening my door was lost as I allowed myself to lean back into the pleasure, he was giving me. His hand trailed down my arm slowly as he sucked on a particular spot behind my ear that made my knee buckle in bliss. His hand wrapped around mine, that was still holding the keys, and raised it to the door.

    “If you don’t unlock that door now, I’ll fuck you in the hallway.” He threatened, no doubt in my mind he would follow through with the threat. I quickly refocused on getting my key in the door and getting this man inside.

     As soon as the door was shut, he had me pressed against it, mouth pushing against my own once again, but now his hand travelled under my shirt kneading my breasts in his large sturdy hands. I reached, clawing at his shirt to come off as he unclasped my bra from the back, which only succeeded in turning me on. Once his shirt was removed, he made quick work of mine, stopping only to marvel at the sight of my topless body. He stared for just a moment too long, doubt flooded my veins and my throat tightened at another failed encounter where someone didn’t like what they saw.

     Just as I resigned myself to my own fate, reaching down for my shirt, Adam took both of my wrists and pinned them above my head. Once again pushing me against the door and pinning me from any other means of movement.

    “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he demanded with a dark grit in his voice I had not heard before, his fire like anger only lighting the fire of hope in my belly once more.

    “I thought,” I started and as soon as I began to speak, he ground his erection into my core, effectively beginning my decent into madness. “Fuck, Adam that feels good!” I cried out rather than explain myself.

    “Come on little girl,” He teased breathlessly into my ear, obviously enjoying the act as much as I did, “Explain yourself to me.” He spit out all that came out of my mouth in return was a needy whimper and shuttered breath. It set my body on fire, turned my bones to jelly as he shifted to hold my weight for me.

    “I- fuck- I thought you didn’t like it.” I said softly, simply as the pleasure built with every thrust of his hips against mine. My back arched as he slowed to a stop, my eyes shooting open to see him looking down at me with furrowed brows.

    “You thought I didn’t like your pretty little tits huh?” he looked down at me, and I nodded softly, shyly up at him and his eyes softened slightly. He made the move to prop me up against the wall and move his body down. He kissed his way from my jaw down to my chest, finally settling with both his hands caressing my breasts. “You have,” He punctuated it with a small suck on my chest leaving a hickey a few centimeters above the nipple, “The most,” He took his sweet time worshiping every square inch of my chest, “Glorious tits I’ve ever fucking seen.” Finishing it off with an intense attachment to my nipple that sent earthshattering shockwaves throughout my body from the first real contacted pleasure Adam had given me all night.

    “Please, baby girl,” he murmured against my tits as he moved further down my body, “Let me eat your sweet little pussy.” He spoke, the dirty message matched only by the lewd and carnal tone he spoke with. Before he could anywhere with my pants, I took his hands and began leading them to my bedroom, which wasn’t too far away.

    He followed like a lost puppy trailing its owner, looking at me with wide and hungry eyes, taking in every movement my body made. As soon as I laid back in the bed, he made quick work of my pants, pulling them off with my underwear in one swoop. I let him handle me however he wanted and he moved with swift expertise that had my core drenched by the time he was done.

     With his hands stabilizing my hips, keeping them pinned to the bed, he sat between my legs admiring the sight laid out before him. He smirked at my disheveled appearance, trying desperately to hold on to my sanity and he hasn’t even laid his hands on me. Suddenly his tongue was on me, taking one long stride of my core before focusing on my clit.

    “Fuck yes!” I shuttered out when he brushed his tongue in a zig-zag on my clit before detaching with a sadistic chuckle. He explored every part of me, places no man had ever considered now have me careening towards the pit of bliss at lightning speeds. He took his time prodding at my hole while swiping his nose at my clit and in that moment, I swore no one was better at this than Adam fucking Sackler. My hands twirled themselves into his hair tugging harshly, making him pause for his own pleasure. Only then did I notice his gyrations on the mattress himself, which sent my mind into an overdrive of pride and arousal.

     “Your pussy tastes so sweet for me baby girl.” He hummed smugly into my pussy, the vibrations bringing me that much closer to the edge. He looked up at me, watching me fall apart as he brought his hand to my entrance working in a finger, beginning to stretch me out for him. “Your pussy’s tight, that for me?” He spoke, knowing I was way too close to orgasm for me to respond with anything but whimpers of his name mixed with any expletive that comes to mind.

    “Adam,” I called out, tightening my hands in his hair, trying to signal him for more. “Please!” I cried out, his pace slowing to a teasing momentum before he added another finger without warning. My head tilted back, losing all sense but the sense he was feeding me through his ministrations. I was teetering a dangerous ledge and with every thrust of his fingers he brought me to the edge. He took one last thrust of his fingers hitting the deepest part of me, paired with his tongue swiping my clit and the damn burst within me.

    Euphoria was flooding my system; I was floating in orgasmic bliss surrounded by nothing by the feeling of Adam bringing me through my haze and the smell of sex mixed with his cologne. After what felt like a lifetime of bliss, I felt him begin to kiss his way back up my body, taking special care of my stomach, sucking hickeys along the way.

    “You’re so good at that.” I murmured, still coming down from my high. He chuckled into my neck before coming up to my face and planting a big kiss on my lips. I immediately responded, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and bringing him flush to my own body. I could taste myself on his lips, his facial hair still coated in a layer of my cum, which only added to the kiss. “Adam, I need you to fuck me.” I said as I broke the kiss. His eyes lighting up again like in the living room, he moved away from me to finally take off his pants.

    “Condom?” He asked as he stood in his boxers, outlining his prominent erection pulsating in need. I only shook my head, moving to the edge of the bed where he stood to palm him over his boxers.

    “I’m on the pill.” I whispered seductively in his ear, he nearly doubled over in pleasure once the statement registered in his brain. He wasted no time taking my hips and twisting me around so I was on all fours before him. A deep feeling of butterflies reverberated in my stomach as I arched back into the hands he planted on my ass. He let himself groan at the sight of me before him once again, this time he had his hand moving over his thick cock.

    He rubbed the head of his dick over my pussy before catching it at my hole and pushing forward. The sting of him stretching me was not lost on him as he braced himself around me, caging me into his dick. He hissed as I clenched around him, trying to accommodate the difference. “Fuck your pussy’s so fucking tight you’re gonna squeeze me out.” He gritted out through clenched teeth, waiting for my signal to go ahead. His dirty comment only helped relax me, sending me spiraling in euphoria.

    “Adam, I need you to move.” I whined out, desperate for the friction he was made to bring me. He pushed farther and farther in until he was buried at the hilt. Both of us shuddered out, he filled me to the brim, his body made for mine in ways I had never felt before. Suddenly he pulled back and slammed back in with a deliberate force, landing perfectly on my G-spot. I cried out his name, the only thing I could remember at this point.

    “Yeah, yeah that’s it,” He praised my squeals of pleasure, “Say my name you fucking whore.” He spit out making my pussy clench around him in absolute pleasure. The way his hips slammed against mine, the way his hands groped at the cheeks of my ass, mixed with the things coming out of his mouth sent me into another dimension. “You like that you little slut? You like when I call you dirty little names?” He prompted me, adding a harsh slap to my ass to punctuate his thrusts.

    “Yes!” I cried out, burying my head into the sheets, letting Adam have his way with me exactly how he wanted. “Yes, I love being your little slut! Fuck!” He landed another spank, jolting me forwards on his cock. He retaliated by taking charge with my hips once more, grunting out insults mixed with praise.

    “Are you gonna cum? You gonna cum on my fucking cock you whore?” He stopped his thrusts, teasing me and my climax fading. “If you want to cum on my cock, fuck yourself on it.” He demanded, his hands kneading and soothing the damage he caused my backside already. I began rocking back on his dick, creating a similar rhythm to before. The harsh slaps echoed around the room and the lewd situation escalated my frenzy. “That’s its little slut, you’re fucking yourself so well.” He lost himself in the pleasure of it all, meeting my thrusts halfway.

    “Adam,” I moaned out, feeling the same euphoric anticipation building in my gut, I escalated the force trying to push myself to the place of bliss. “Adam, I’m going to cum!” I announced feeling the cliffs edge building and building. His hands trailing up my back and grabbing a fist full of my hair and pulling me flush against his chest, changing the angle so he was pushing deeper inside me.

    “Cum for me little slut.” He commanded, another hand wrapping around me to rub my clit in time with his thrusts. The bubble built higher and higher until I felt myself release for the second time that night. His thrusts continued, faltering as my body spasmed in absolute satisfaction, his grunts of pleasure travelling into my ear as he chases his own high.

    As his hips begin to falter their rhythm, he pushed into me for one last time before he let go and painted my insides with the ropes of his cum, marking me from the inside out. He wrapped his arms around me, collapsing us both on the bed, his cock still inside me, beginning to soften as he spoons me from behind. Our highs collectively lower and he is left trailing small kisses on the back of my neck and shoulder.

     “Where have you been all my life?” I joked once the atmosphere was returning to normal. He chuckled out, squeezing me into his chest even if I didn’t necessarily fit, and shifted his hips away from mine for the first time slipping out of me.

     He moved to look at me properly before saying, “Brooklyn.”

A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought, my inbox is always open!

#adam sackler #adam sackler x reader #fluff & smut #smut #slow-ish burn #The Milk Man #Girls HBO #adcu #reader insert

[violent-bulldog]

Chloe Valentine: Book VS Musical

Oh boy, here we go

(Mentions of “Rape”)

In the book, Chloe is one of the “Hot Girls” and is therefore, popular and whatnot. However, she isn’t the ‘main’ hot girl, that would be Katrina. They’re basically the Heathers only none of them die. Well, after the party, we never hear from any of them again so I’m just assuming that they’re still alive.

During chapter fifteen, Rich asks Jeremy which one of the “Hot Girls” he’d want to get with and Jeremy replies with Chloe. He previously states that he stares at her the most, most likely due to her costume. Jeremy essentially wants to use Chloe to get to Christine, as per the Squip’s guide. Jeremy doesn’t care about using her to get what he wants.

Chloe takes a genuine interest in Jeremy during chapter twenty-two as Jeremy flirts with her in the mall. He presses his leg against hers and asks for her number. She becomes jealous when Anne cries into Jeremy’s shoulder, pushing her leg against his even more. They do this in the back of the car too, just before Chloe gives him her number.

After Jeremy fails to get Christine (one of many times) and his failure at hooking up with Brooke due to an infected nipple piercing (which, by the way... yuck) his Squip tells him that he needs to focus on getting with Chloe as Christine is still with Jake and Jeremy needs to make her jealous. Jeremy’s reply to the Squip is “Woo-Hoo! Deal” which shows that he is very much down with the idea of sleeping with Chloe just to get with Christine.

Jeremy calls Chloe and they make mostly small talk until Jeremy suggests doing something together and Chloe tells him about Jason Finderman’s party. She asks if he’s going to be “Rolling” (which means doing drugs, I gather?) and Jeremy actually goes against the Squip’s advice and says that he is. Chloe replies with “Really? You will? With me? Aww, Jeremy, you’re so sweet” which further proves that she has a genuine interest in him. She then asks if he’ll have a car and he says he will, leading him to steal his mother’s car for the party, just to impress her.

Chloe is already “Rolling” by the time Jeremy (and Michael) arrive at the party. She instructs Jason’s brother, who’s guarding the door, to let them in. She enthusiastically runs up to Jeremy (probably due to the drugs, but it could also be because she’s happy that he actually showed up) and gives him his pill. She then starts to lead him somewhere, but he tries to blow her off for Christine. The Squip tells him that Chloe is about to have sex with him, but Jeremy just cares about the fact that Christine is currently alone. 

Chloe notices that he’s distant and says that he’s in his own little world. Jeremy goes to make up an excuse of some sort, but she interrupts him. “”Come!” Chloe grabs my shirt. “I like you” She adjusts my baseball cap. “You can go back to your world later. Be in mine for a while”” This is the first time that she states that she genuinely wants to be with Jeremy, unlike Christine. Jeremy lets her lead the way to where she was originally going.

They go into a laundry center (which, as a Scottish person, I’m assuming is the same as a utility room) and they start to make out, with Jeremy pulling Chloe into his lap and groping her (all with consent). He then starts to dirty talk and ends up telling her that he wishes she had a tail. Chloe calls him weird and straddles him. They start to make out again and Jeremy takes off her shirt and she takes off her bra. Things are about to escalate further before Chloe’s boyfriend, Brock, interrupts them by breaking the window. Chloe tells Jeremy to watch out, before dressing and leaves, blowing him a kiss.

Jeremy ends up in a bathroom with Stephanie (the third “Hot Girl”), hiding from Brock. Stephanie states that Jeremy is “That guy Chloe likes!” and then talks about how Jeremy is apparently super cool, which means that Chloe must have talked about him between the events in the mall and when she invited him to the party.

Chloe ends up getting back with Brock (and snorts Ritalin...) and everything is fine with the trio. Jeremy even drives Chloe and Brock home and that’s the last we really hear from them.

Chloe had a genuine interest in Jeremy, despite having a boyfriend, but Jeremy was only using her to try and get with Christine. If Brock hadn’t interrupted, Chloe and Jeremy would have most likely had sex and it would have been 100% consensual. Jeremy isn’t in a relationship with anyone, so he isn’t cheating. Chloe technically is, but her boyfriend really doesn’t seem like that good of a guy and there’s a very high chance that they broke up at some point. Especially since he calls her a slut and a whore...

HOWEVER

In the musical, the “Hot Girls” don’t exist. Chloe is the only one out of the trio to appear, most likely due to the entire situation with Jeremy. Brooke and her are the equivalent to the “Hot Girls” with Chloe being at the number one spot and Brooke being at number two. The musical focuses a lot more on Jeremy and Michael’s friendship than the book did and a lot less on any other romantic relationships beside Jeremy and Christine’s. 

Chloe and Jeremy barely interact during the musical before the Halloween party, which has merged the Halloween dance and Jason Finderman’s party, the only interactions being Chloe stating that he was getting of to her discussion with Jenna and Brooke about Jake and Madeline/Chloe asking what he was staring at when Jake says that they should see other people and the scene in the clothes store in the mall, where Brooke offers Jeremy a ride (like how he asked for one from Anne and Chloe in the book) and Chloe just goes along with it mainly. Their only real interaction is at the Halloween party.

(I have never seen any production of the show live, I am going off of any visual bootlegs on youtube, a copy of the script I found online and the audio bootleg of the London showing. I apologise if anything is incorrect)

During the song “Halloween” Chloe tells Jeremy that she’s been sent to get him because Brooke has a surprise for him. She leads him to an upstairs bedroom, telling him that it’s Jake’s parents. Jeremy says that she knows her way around and she tells him it’s because she’s had sex in most rooms in the house. Jeremy gives he a shocked look and she defends herself, saying that it’s because she dated Jake and asks what kind of slut Jeremy thinks she is. 

Jeremy asks where Brooke is and Chloe says that she isn’t coming. Chloe starts singing “Do You Wanna Hang?” and dances around Jeremy. She’s been drinking from her flask (which is a baby bottle) and it’s clear that she’s very much wasted. Jeremy says that he should leave, but his Squip prevents him from standing up. Chloe then starts to talk about how she doesn’t understand why Brooke is so crazy about Jeremy, and how she isn’t as innocent as she seems.

There’s a pause and Jeremy accuses her of being jealous. In the Broadway version, Chloe gestures to herself and states that she’s obviously not jealous, but in the London version, she snaps at him and says that she’s not jealous but she just doesn’t understand why people like Brooke more than they like her. In both versions, Jeremy asks why anyone would be jealous of her because she’s the hottest girl in school. He goes to take back his words, but Chloe kisses him. He tries to tell the Squip to make it stop, but the Squip says it doesn’t understand what Jeremy wants to stop for.

Chloe continues singing “Do You Wanna Hang?” and offers Jeremy the baby bottle flask, stating that it’s not actually milk. The Squip forces him to drink before making him kiss Chloe again. 

Brooke interrupts and knocks on the door, asking if Jeremy is there because she was told by Jenna that he had gone upstairs. Chloe and Jeremy stay silent and Brooke goes away. Jeremy ask Chloe if she doesn’t care about Brooke finding out, but Chloe just replies by telling him that he’s not as cute when he’s talking. Jeremy asks the Squip for help, but due to the alcohol, the Squip shuts off.

Chloe says that she’s had enough, until Jake pounds on the door shouting for Jeremy. She then says that the fun is beginning. Jake yells that Jeremy better not be having sex on his parents bed or else he’d have to rip Jeremy’s balls off. Chloe says that they can both be ball-less and Jake pauses before asking if it was her and tries to break the door down. Chloe, who is jumping on the bed, yells that they’re having sex all over Jake’s parents linens and Jeremy tries to protest. 

The banging of Jake trying to break down the door stops and they both think that he’s gone away until Jake punches through the window and climbs into the room. Chloe straddles Jeremy (who may be shirtless at this point, but I’ve never seen that in the bootlegs) and Jake tells him that he’s dead. Chloe tells Jake to go away because they’re busy screwing and Jeremy moves away from Chloe and goes to the door, opening it to find Brooke standing there. Jake climbs completely through the window and Jeremy apologises to her before shoving past her and running from Jake.

Many people call the events in this scene “Attempted Rape” and I think that is way too far. From what I’ve seen, they go no further than kissing and Chloe states that she’s had enough and is about to leave before Jake arrives. It’s not Chloe’s fault that Jeremy couldn’t refuse or deny consent. That’s the Squip’s. Chloe was lead to believe that Jeremy was into it as he showed no attempts to stop her or deny what she was doing. It was a miscommunication due to the Squip’s attempts at getting Jeremy to sleep with the popular girl. It wasn’t Jeremy’s fault. It wasn’t Chloe’s fault. It was the Squip’s fault. 

I don’t know why Chloe and Jeremy’s relationship was changed like this. Maybe due to the musical not having a long enough run-time to support the development of it as well as the development of Jeremy’s relationships with Michael and Christine. Chloe played a fairly important part in the book, but the musical makes her seem like a completely different character. Book Chloe was popular and hot, but also kind and genuinely interested in Jeremy, whereas musical Chloe is popular and hot and that’s about it. She’s mean and blunt and is a major part in making Jeremy cheat on Brooke. She doesn’t seem to care about her actions and only seems to think of herself until “The Play” and, unless you’re like me and you dive deeply into what her mental state may be like, she is seen as the secondary-antagonist (the Squip being the primary-antagonist).

They did her character dirty in the musical. But, she isn’t a rapist. So please, for the love of god, stop calling her one. She’s a sixteen-year-old who made a drunken mistake that people like to blow out of proportion. 

#chloe valentine #be more chill #bmc #bmc chloe #be more chill chloe #jeremy heere #bmc jeremy #be more chill jeremy #jake dillinger #jenna rolan #brooke lohst #bmc book #be more chill book #bmc musical #be more chill musical #character analysis

[weirdcanucks]

Highlighting Canucks Podcasts #2 - Area 51 Hockey Podcast

Here is an excerpt from Area 51 Hockey Podcast in which guest Brock McGillis discussed in length about the concrete steps to change hockey culture. I transcribed this powerful message. Listen to the full episode where McGillis shared his journey from closeted goaltender in OHL, to the verge of suicide, to becoming an influential advocate for the LGBTQ+ community here 🎧[x]

Sam If Hockey Canada or any one of those leagues were to, say, hire you in the role that Kim Davis kind of has in the NHL, but with more concrete actions than I think Davis has been able to do in the NHL, what what are kind of the first things you would do in that role?

Brock McGillis I would recognize all the issues. I think that is the first step. You need to recognize all the issues. And in terms of social issues and why they exist. And I've already thought this all through, and I know them all. Hockey is incredibly insular, arguably of all sports, maybe the most insular. And let's keep it to male team sports for now. Most sports are played at schools. Hockey is not. Even school teams don't play at school. Hockey is played when you sent off to arenas, when you're isolated in arenas. And then if we take like elite hockey, let's say you're matched up based off your age group. So from the age of 7, through the age of 15, you're with essentially the same kids six nights a week for eight or nine months of the year. And with the same coaches in a room who came from the same culture. And you're together there more than you are with your family, than anywhere else besides maybe school. And even at school, most of them go to school together and hang out with hockey players at school. So you have this insular environment and the way the culture is set up right now, they tend to majority come from similar socioeconomic backgrounds, are predominantly white. They are presumed to be straight and all these things. So let's just take that. So from the age of seven, you start talking the same walking, the same dressing, same because you're around each other so much. And we've known society people become products of their environment.

So you grew up, then by the time you hit 16, you moved away from home. I don't know any other sports where that happens. You are that young. So you move away from home or as consistently as in hockey. You move to this new community with 22 other hockey players who have moved away from home into this community and each other essentially. And now you're together seven days a week and you're out the arena even longer. And then you're traveling around the province or whatnot, northern the United States or in the WHL across multiple provinces. And you're together all the time. So once again, that culture of the language you use, the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you act... you're going to start to mimic each other. It's normal and it influences the older players, influences the younger players, just like in minor hockey. The culture is continuously copied and the cycle is vicious. And they're also influenced by the coaches who came from the same culture and management who talk the same way, dress the same way, act the same way, etc. Then once they hit like Junior and whatnot, they go home in their off season. And who are they going to hang out with? Their buddies they grew up with. And the only people they really spent time with are the hockey players they've hung out with since they were seven. And they're going to train for hockey, then go back and do it again the next year. And it's over and over and over. That's the reason why they're not exposed to anything else. And they're taught put your head down, worry about hockey. You're not allowed to have hobbies. It's very conformist. You're not allowed to enjoy anything else besides hockey. And in locker rooms, all you can talk about are partying girls and hockey when you're a teenager. So you have that aspect. OK. So that's kind of the root reason why this exists. And then you see the social issues are the biggest problems and hurdles in hockey culture.

OK, to recognize each one. And then what do you do? In my opinion, you start off by humanizing them. We're seeing society right now through the Black Lives Matter movement that even hockey players are speaking out publicly. Something that they kind of knew existed but didn't know because players probably didn't say how racist the sport and culture is to them, because they have either conformed or afraid to, in a sense don't really speak out on matters because then they are "the other" and they are seen as different. So they kind of have to fly under the radar. Same as being gay. But we're seeing in society that when things have been humanized for these players, they've spoken on it. So you need to humanize it, and I think the easiest way to humanize these things are taking hockey people who have the lived experience within the sport to humanize it. I'm very fortunate that I am masculine presenting, I am cis gender, I am a white man who happens to be gay that grew up in hockey culture and also worked in hockey culture afterwards. So I can infiltrate that culture very easily. And so when I go into a room and speak to players, it may have and it's sad to say, but it's just reality, a little more impact than somebody who's never been in the culture trying to talk about being gay in hockey, and the impact of being gay in society and the language we use and and whatnot. So we need people with the lived experience within it, who understand it, to humanize the issues for the masses within the sport and for the parents and for the coaches. Because then once it's humanized, hockey people are softies. They act like these tough, rugged, hypermasculine men, but they're actually real soft. And you can tug at their heartstrings and you can pull at them a little bit. And when you do, they become more engaged. They'll be willing to learn. You just got to teach them why they need to learn.

And we haven't done that, so that would be my first step. And then from there and take educators like Courtney, educators like Cheryl MacDonald, like, there's so many out there who study the different areas within the sport of hockey. And they're not utilized. They're not utilized by the culture. And it's so foolish to me that we have people in Canada who study this stuff for a living and are the best in their fields. And hockey isn't utilizing them? So from there, after you humanize the issue, you have academics that can put the programs together in a manner because they've been in the culture that people will relate to it, want to learn it and be a part of it, instead these stupid videos.

Then once we've done that, we have to break the conformity of the sport. So one exercise I do when I go into locker room after humanized through my story, my struggle and how I empowered myself, et cetera. I do a little breakout where I will try and break the conformity by saying, "OK, you tell me that you're going to fight together and you're there for each other. They're your bros. Yet all you're allowed to talk about are women, partying and sports. Share something with me you wouldn't typically tell a teammate that you enjoy." So I started thinking about it and I did a podcast with Ben Fanelli and Ben's really insightful guy. You should read his story sometime, if you don't know. It's pretty fascinating. And I said "Ben could imagine being in a locker room and reading a book for fun?" He's like, "oh my God, you'd be harassed." And like, “yeah, you'd be the fag.” He goes, "Yeah." And I start thinking about Dougie Hamilton. Dougie Hamilton is a six foot five defenseman who can skate, and he's a right handed shot, that should be every team's dream. He is a point per game defenseman in the NHL. He's been traded twice because he can't fit into the culture, because instead of going for beers and drinking and partying and all that, he enjoys reading. He enjoys museums. He loves history and art. Like when did knowledge and the pursuit of knowledge become a bad thing? But it is in this culture, which is one of the issues, which is why everyone's so fearful of allowing people like myself in, allowing the academics in, or allowing anyone else in to shift it. Because then where's their place? Right? So you need to break down those barriers of culture. So one time I went into, I had a player, say, a major junior team, a tough guy, stood up and said, "I love writing poetry." Then another kid stood up and said, "if I don't make the NHL, I want to be a zoologist." Then a first year player literally jumped out of his seat and said, "I love animal documentaries." And the coach stood up and said, "I love Broadway musicals. And my wife and I go to them every summer." Now they're bonding on a deeper level. Now, hopefully, if that continues, at some point, they can stand up and proudly talk about being Muslim in a locker room. Then the gay kid could stand up and say, I have a boyfriend, and we stop judging people for their differences and recognize we're all different. But we've conformed to a culture, because I know, personally, I can walk into any mall in Canada and I will tell you which kids play hockey. I go to school, as part of my speaking is going to schools because I am passionate about shifting culture within youth, because I think it's the only way we're going to ever fix things. And we saw it with the zoomers in Trump's rally the other day. It's phenomenal. But I think they're the ones who are going to fix humanity. And I actually ask questions. And when I do, I intentionally pick out the kids I know are hockey players, because I can tell looking at them and I go "you play hockey, right?” And they say, "yeah."

Then from there we have to put in better systems to evaluate coaches. Teachers have to go to school for how long to become a teacher to work with children. But these coaches spend as much, if not more time, and they take a little course online, like really? And they're influencing society and future generations? We have to invest more in the system we put in place or evaluating them. We should have people that are third party on each team, to ensure that nothing is done out of line with the coaches and we have to continue engaging with them and teaching them, because this can be more difficult for them because they're older. And they've been ingrained in this culture. Or, in this culture longer, it's ingrained in them.

Then after that, put rules in. After that, put punishments in. And suspension or fine is not gonna do anything. All you're doing is telling them just shut up so it won't be as obvert. But it's still going to exist. The problems will still exist. At that point, they should have to sit down with people either within the culture or the academics and do deeper dives into why this is happening and sit down with the parents and find out why they're making comments like this. Like I saw a video recently of Tony DeAngelo and and how his father said, "yeah, I said the same stuff." Well, we should sit down and help educate them so this doesn't exist any longer, instead of just a five games suspension and then they're back, and all of a sudden they're saying worse things. Or, for that matter, most of the time the suspensions aren't even called because referees and officials don't want to ruin kid's career and don't want to get this kid labeled or they may be homophobic, racist, sexist themselves. So they don't call it.

And so the whole culture has to be reformed. And I think those are the steps in reforming it. And if you do punishment first, which has been done or any leagues will argue they do. It doesn't work. It doesn't work! I've been looking at this every day for four years. And this is the only path I see the shifting in it. And it seems it's doable. Why wouldn't it be? They charge thousands and thousands of dollars. You can't put money towards this? And investing in people's futures?

#nhl #hockey #hockey culture #lgbtq #brock mcgillis #canucks podcasts

[iminyourhandskara]

Chris Wood on FatMan Beyond with Kevin Smith and Marc Bernardin. (Full interview transcript)

A MASSIVE, MASSIVE THANK YOU TO @bwaybenoist WHO HELPED ME A LOT WITH THIS. ❤❤❤❤

to the anon who requested this, and for whoever wants to read this, enjoy!

__________________

Kevin: One of my favorite people in the world, man. If you're lucky enough, you get to work with people you like, and I met this kid on a set and most people on sets, you know, 'not necessarily all likable and stuff like that.

Marc: Careful.

Kevin: Yeah. (indistinct) This kid ain't just likable, he's fucking lovable, man. I was like, goddamn it, I fell in love with him the way I fell in love with Ben Affleck, where I'm like "You should be in everything! Fuckin, you should play Fletch." I still to this day think he'd be the perfect Fletch based on the Gregory McDonald books. When we got lucky enough to work on Masters of the Universe from Mattel on Netflix, I, you know, there was always a like "We could probably get a big cast for this" and stuff, so I played very few cards in terms of like "Well, here's who I think you could get and stuff like that" because Netflix, Mattel, these cats putting up the money, they should tell us who they want and stuff and Teddy who's our Netflix exec, he loves MOTU, so like casting of course with Netflix, the ability to draw talent is gonna be right up his alley. But one of the only names I put forward in the process..I was like “I worked with Chris Wood, and he is SO good, like he would be an excellent Prince Adam and He-Man as well of course, but like, can I put him on the list?” and they put him on the list, and you know, I thought that was gonna be it, “Kevin made a suggestion and we’ll put him in there and then it will never happen.” And he got the job, legit got the job. Mattel loved him, Netflix loved him, boom, he’s our prince Adam! So, here tonight, you got him? Here tonight, man..*Skype sound* Making a little chit-chat, that’s the sound of joy. That means we’re gonna talk to a guest, we get to open the door and welcome to Fatman Beyond, uh, He-Man himself, ladies and gentleman, Prince Adam, I give you..Chris Wood.

Chris: Oh my goodness.

Marc: Look at that intro.

Kevin: And look at that pretty ass man, look at how pretty he is.

Chris: *Plays Jellicle Cats from CATS*

Kevin: Somebody’s been listening to the show!

Chris: Reminiscing about..the Winter Garden Theater.

Kevin: This is actually..I was gonna say..

Chris: My first Broadway show I ever saw, Kevin!

K: Was CATS?

C: Was CATS!

K: I totally forgot as we were sitting here, going “Nobody’s gonna care about us talking about Broadway.” There’s one guy waiting to be on the show who was like “I’d love it if it was all--”

C: I was having the time of my life! This was like Batman, Broadway edition, I loved it.

K: Give us the full rundown of every Broadway show that you’ve ever seen, and when you say Broadway, do you mean--

C: I mean, I mean Broadway.

K: You mean like seeing it on Broadway, not just live theater.

C: No man, that’s where I got my start, that was my whole...the stage was my whole thing. You’d have to sit here for like three hours to hear all of the shows I ever saw..

K: Are you serious? So wait you-

C: It’s got a soft place in my heart still.

K: You uhm, I remember when I was working on Supergirl, at one point Melissa was just like: “He was in Sweeney Todd!” and I was like “What?” Were you in Sweeney Todd?

C: It’s true, yeah.

M: With Victor Garber?

C: Yeah.

K: Yeah, it’s surprising, he was in Sweeney Todd and has worked on a Victor Garber adjacent show.

C: Yeah.

K: I (was) saying before Ben Affleck’s my last card, I’m turning to Chris Wood to make that Victor Garber connection.

C: Yeeees! Hey guys!

M: Hey man!

K: How are you sir?

C: What’s going on?

K: So wait, what- you were a musical theater guy.Correct?

C: That (was) my thing, man. All through college and high school and growing up, that was like-- aside from making movies on my Super8-- that was my, that was my other hobby.

K: What is uh- look, for those who don’t follow very closely: Chris has acted for a long time, I met him playing Mon-El when I was directing Supergirl episodes. Of course as I said, he’s playing our He-Man. What was the vampire show that Mewes loves that you were on?

C: The Vampire Diaries, yeah, yeah.

K: The Vampire Diaries as well and stuff, uhm, and he’s a wonderful actor and gorgeous human being but-

C: You’re always- you have the kindest intros in the world, Kevin. You’re- I come on just blushing every time I talk to you. 

K: He’s wonderful (but) this is wanna lay out there: he is a fucking hell of a writer.

M: Outstanding. 

C: Oh wow! It’s still going!

K: And you know that like I’m not just saying it’s a butter him up because we could totally just talk about He-Man and that’s it but like-- I’ve read a script that he wrote that took me back to 1994, where I was like-- This is what I felt like when I saw Indie Film. It reignited a love for indie film because the film was impressionistic and wonderful and original and singular in vision and stuff..

C: And nobody will ever make it..*Laughs* All of the qualities of a terrific independent film.

K: You got- you got some pushback on the movie. “Some people like this? What?” but he wrote- didn’t you write a script that went someplace legit or whatnot? Are you allowed to talk about it?

C: I did, yeah. It’s not public yet, but we’re--

K: That’s not public? That wasn’t in the trades or anything like that?

C: Not yet, man. It’s still like..under the table wheeling and dealing.

K: Alright, we can’t say what it is, but I can tell you right now, it’s like- it’s something that you and I (Marc) would work our Whole lives to achieve and we’ve been doing- all we have is writing. And this motherfucker has everything in life and he’s about to have that as well. But well worth it, because he’s wonderful at the written word. What do you attribute that to?

C: The written word?

K: Yeah. Where’d you- How come you’re such a good writer?

C: Well, that’s very- Thank you first of all. Uhm, writing, I always kinda did it. I think I was like you, Kev, when I was a kid I just- no one was giving me pages to shoot or to have my friends put on plays in the garage, so I had to write my own words. So, I kind of always done it. I remember writing plays and I’d write up thirty pages of a script when I was 13 years old and I’d hand it out to my cousins and we’d perform it for all of our aunts and uncles and grandparents. I kind of always done it, just never been paid for it.

K: Yeah, that’s the dream, to get paid for it at the same time. I saw when my man got married, he whipped out beautiful words as well. Like you know, where you get to like say something to your-

M: Your vows.

K: There you go. That’s that word, “vows”

C: “What do we call those *snaps fingers* those promises we make.

K: I smoked those away. *Laughs* Even his vows, were like beautiful, like incredibly well fuckin written, beautiful choice of words, look-

C: My missus..

K: I mean, yes.

C: (Blew me out) the water.

K: Who went first, was it you or her who went first?

C: She went first, that’s why I couldn’ t-- I couldn’t speak through mine.

K: Yeah, both of them got real beautiful.

C: Oh man..

K: The thing is, I knew Woody was a writer because I read his script and what not. Didn’t homegirl open with “I’m not a writer” and then dropped one of the most beautiful fucking speeches that you’ve ever heard in your life? It was really great, really special for me to be there for, man. The point is this kid here writes well, the point is one day he’s gonna take my advice and write himself his own fucking lead in the movie that he should make, particularly that one that I love and make a movie, ‘cause he’s got all the ingredients. Like you know, like me I was like “I wanna make a movie” but like I had to hire actors and shit like that. Well, not hire but beg them to be in it. Thank God they were. But like he could write himself a part and be that fucking part and direct himself in the part, because he’s been on enough sets so knows how the process works.

M: So what you’re saying is he’s unfair.

K: Yes, I don’t want to say it in front of him and embarrass the man but yeah.

C: I’m so sorry.

K: Um, take us into, for those watching at home uh, talk a little bit about Vampire Diaries. When did that, was that the first thing you did?

C: That was one of my early kind of like public roles, um, I had done some stuff before that, nothing really that caught on with a fan base. That was sort of the first thing I did where people got excited about a character I was doing, um and wanted more of them, so they wrote me more stuff, um, yeah that was, I guess, I started on that seven years ago? Eight years ago?

K: And what was the, did you leave? Did they kill you off gracefully? Did you leave because you were like “I don’t want to do this”.

C: Yeah, I was a bad guy, so with like all good villains in our favourite shows, they have to meet some sort of demise or just, you know go into a spin-off *Laughs*. It’s kind of either-or. Or they’re Skeletor and then they just exist forever as an equal force.

K: So after, how long were you done with that show before you went and did Supergirl?

C: So I did a couple of things after that, um, I did a mini-series and I was on a limited series called ‘Containment’ about a pandemic, much like what we’re living in now. A little too timely, I kind of don’t recommend it at the moment, but yeah I did that and then right after that ended, that’s when I went up to Vancouver.

K; So wait, and if I remember correctly, Containment, did Julie Plec do that? Didn’t she also…

C: Yeah, yeah, that was Julie Plec, who did Vampire Diaries. She kind of pulled me across, from that experience.

K: When you’re making it, are you like “silly fictional world this will never happen.”.

M: “I’ll never need to remember any of this.”.

C: You know what, I feel like in a way the show kind of prepared me for the quarantine because I read so much about the Spanish Flu and about outbreaks and what actually happened, so when this all started happening, I was like “guys no no no, this is real” you know like, when people who play lawyers think they’re lawyers? It was kind of one of those things, suddenly I thought I knew, I was like “send me in I’m ready guys”.

M: Was there any Containment swag that you got to keep like “oh they sent me all these masks, I got all of these masks!”

C: I wish! I think I have some uh, dog tags and that’s about it..

K: Alright so wait, did they come after you to come audition for Supergirl? How does that happen?

C: That was the first time in my career where I got offered something without reading for it. Which was kind of amazing. And I played hard to get for a second because I wasn’t sure if it was the right coloured spandex. I was always more of a Batman guy than a Superman and then eventually it clicked and apparently, there was some part of me that knew I was going to meet my future wife and the mother of my children. *laughs* So I guess it all worked out.

K: I mean, yeah, and aside from just getting to play a hero and stuff, it gave you the rest of your life.

C: The rest of my life, which is a pretty lucky thing to get from a job, usually the job doesn’t serve you that. So that was pretty fantastic.

K: And there are very few people who can walk away from the CW going “and that built the rest of my life”, you know what I’m saying?

C: *laughs* Well it does match, the network that matches my initials should promise me something like that. I think it’s somewhere in the rulebook, I don’t know where.

K: I just put that together.

M: Like the Wendy's girl walks into Wendy's and is like “I will take all of your hamburgers, I’m Wendy."

(all laugh)

K: When you, when they gave you the suit finally, which is something you know, for the run of the show was something you would look forward to and then finally they do give you the suit, looked tight. Was it as uncomfortable as it looked?

C: Oh yeah, they’re terrible. It’s the worst thing you’ll ever wear in your life. You know, it’s like a giant onesie. A onesie is known for comfort and relaxation and too many zippers. This is as few of zippers and you can have including no accessibility to use the restroom, and you really can’t move in them, it kind of squeezes your everything, if there’s a thing that can be squeezed by the spandex. So things are going like, your elbow is going up to your shoulder and you’re not really sure why. You know that you’re not controlling it. Uh, it’s an odd experience, but um, I’ll tell you what, those lunch breaks were always very, it was like a great release to unzip the spandex and just lay on the couch.*laughs*

K: Tell them what it’s like to be up on the harness thing man, when you have to do flying and shit, on the green screens.

C: The flying is fun, that’s one of the really, that’s when you feel like you’re on the trampoline in your backyard as a kid fighting the invisible villains. It’s literally the same thing, except someone is doing the jumping for you with a rope. But that’s when you get to play and feel like a kid. Those are my favourite, the big action sequences. They’re a bear to shoot because they take days to shoot two minutes, as you know. But when you’re actually doing the thing, it’s a great time.

K: How long before you think, because I know it ain’t happening now, how many years from now do you think it’ll be before you and Melissa are like “let’s watch the episodes and see if we can spot the chemistry, and see if I can see myself falling in love and blah blah blah.” Do you think you’ll ever get there?

C: You know, I think it’s probably all over every second of every frame *laughs*. You could probably just uh, start at the beginning and then the first second on-screen probably in some way, shape or form go “oh there it is, there’s the first bits of it”.

K: I believe that, Mr. Broadway.

C: Mr Broadway!!

K: Can I tell him [Marc] a quick Broadway story? I actually went to a Broadway show, where I got to sit next to Mr Chris Wood.

M: Did you now?

C: Oh man, yeah you did.

K: It’s beautiful. So we go see Beautiful, is the show, the Carole King musical.

C: It was also beautiful.

K: It was beautiful, branded and in my heart. The lead of the show that night is of particular interest to both me and Mr Wood, him a lot more. Melissa Benoist, "rhymes with moist", I learned that from Chris Wood.

M: That sounds awfully romantic.

C: He texts me late one evening..

K I used to say Ben-o-ist all the time, I don’t know why.

C: And then I shot you a text I was like “You know it’s Benoist like moist, like a chocolate, decadent chocolate cake”.

M: That was the most Christopher Walken thing I’ve ever heard: “It’s Benoist like moist”.

K: “And delicious like a chocolate cake”. We’re watching Beautiful and we’re watching Melissa open, this is the debut, the first opening night of the show, and Chris is there um, a bunch of people that love Melissa were there. Fucking Lynda Carter was there, Wonder Woman was there to watch Supergirl, how awesome is that? The curtain opens and it opens with Melissa, she’s up top like bang, singing, right at the top of the show and I’m sitting right next to Chris Wood who is crying. Crying those joyful tears of seeing his lady love’s dream come true. She always wanted, is that her first Broadway performance?

C: It was, first and last. *laughs*

K: *jokingly* She’s not going to do it again?

C: No, no, no, no, no I’m just kidding, no it was her first. Life long dream.

K: She was like, she’s like Chris, she’s a theatre kid. A couple of musical kids and stuff, drama kids.

C: You can say nerds, it’s okay.

K: Drama nerds, the idea of Broadway, that was the goal, it wasn’t like “one day I’m gonna be Supergirl”, that was the surprise and the delight where she met the love of her life and stuff, but the dream was Broadway and her dream came true and as you know, if the curtains open and Melissa was crying, of course, people forgive it because they’re like “Oh look at her dreams coming true” the fact he was bawling, I was like "oh my God, she’s got the right guy." All of the joy he felt for her joy, as she was concentrating on doing the very thing that she dreamed about doing, performing, so she can’t just stop the show and be like “can you fucking believe this?” which is how she feels inside, he’s expressing for her just by emotional, he was crying, it was one of the most beautiful things in the world.

C: I’m not ashamed of it.

K: No!

M: Nor should you be.

K: It was so fucking wonderful so supportive but he is a- point of the story, he is such a Broadway kid.

C: You could say I’m a Jellicle kid.

K: Somebody could explain that.

M: I too was sitting next to Chris Wood when he was crying, but it was in New Orleans, in a waiting room to shoot a scene for Reebot, and he's like "Listen, I gotta fly back to Vancouver and my flight is like twenty minutes from now and we haven't shot yet, and it's 4 AM and I'm a little bit daffy in the brain.

K: *Laughs* It's true.

C: Yeah, we were drinking- we were on coffee number four, at like 5 AM, and I looked at my watch and I went "Oh!! My flight's at 6:30." *Laughs*

M: "Anytime you're ready, Kev!"

C: But we got it done.

K: The boys were so sweet, they came out uhm- Chris and Jesse Rath came out and they're in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot during Chronicon, if you haven't seen it on Amazon Prime.

C: With the most extensive and detailed backstory that any limited amount of screentime has ever had in the history of film. There's a story in those eyes, if you look closely.

K: Oh my God, he's working. But he's sitting next to Mr. Marc Bernardin.

M: Yes.

K: Throughout the night, and it was- we ran up against- what time do we finally shoot you guys?

C: I don't even remember.

M: It must've been like 5:15 or something like that.

K: And then rush them to the airport so they could get on (a) plane and get back to Vancouver, correct?

C: That's right, I had to get back to work.

K: Such a special-

C: But it was such a blast, though. And thank you again for letting us come out and play. That was such a trip.

K: It just means that uh, one day your kids are gonna watch that movie and be like "They're both in this terrible movie? Who are Jay and Silent Bob? Was this before you guys met on Supergirl? Why would you be in a movie like this?"

C: *Laughs*

K: Let's talk He-Man. What-- Had you done voice work prior to He-Man?

C: So, when I was broke, living in New York, in between babysitting for three boys on the Upper West Side to make cash so I could support my acting aspirations, I bought a little USB microphone and I joined this- I can't even remember the name of the site. It was some like, some freelance voiceover site, where you join and you can record audio samples and submit auditions and that was the only voice work I had done. I would- I was making like 100 bucks here and there, doing a voiceover for a animated-- "Hey kids, don't run in the cafeteria!" Like a school PSA, or I did some military PSA teaching soldiers etiquette in the barracks and-- so strange. But that was all I had done.

K: Tell'em about how- what acting in front of a microphone is like, 'cause it is acting-

C: Oh yeah.

K: -And in some ways, it's way more acting than one can do on a camera, on a camera one can be subtle, you can't be subtle behind a microphone. You gotta communicate emotion just with the voice, tell 'em about it.

C: You know it's so funny, I actually would describe voice acting as incredibly physical work, whereas camera acting it's all- you know, it's what you're feeling, it's..they say it's through your eyes, which actually means they're seeing through your eyes, through your soul, right? If you're feeling something you'll see it. But for voice acting, we don't see anything, it's all voice, so you really have to take the feeling and elevate it, and sometimes it helps to physically express it, so people sweat in the booth and they, you know, they grit their teeth and they stomp into the ground, and really, you have to really dig in, to grab the emotion and kinda amplify it, otherwise *monotone voice* you're just kinda talking like you do on film and nothing's really happening, and no one cares. Which is sort of what American acting is a lot of the time, we kinda just try not to seem like we're interesting and care about anything. *Laughs*

K: Is that the secret to acting? Did you just let it-- Is that all acting or just CW acting? What kinda acting are we talking about?

C: I'm actually doing a master class series on early '20s acting and basically, the first lesson is to speak as monotone and enunciate as little as possible.

K: Fucking worked out, you married Supergirl for heaven's sakes.

C: Listen-

K: Mumble away, kids! That's what your future looks like if you can mumble your way through a performance.

C: Mumble core.

M: So what you're saying is, voice acting then is very much like theater acting? Where like you've gotta play to the back row, right? Like you can't see that person's eye from a hundred feet away.

C: This guy!

K: Right? This fucking guy, he made-

C: You've found a way to bring it back to CATS! Wow!

K: Thank you, fucking excellent job, now there's a writer. Marc Bernardin is a writer.

M: *singing* Midnight and the kitties are sleeping..

K: Yes, your theater training really comes in handy in that shit, I never fucking put that together!

C: Yeah! Because you learn how to take a truthful feeling and amplify it, that's what the best stage acting is, right? An emotion that an actor is feeling that can reach the back of the house and, with voice acting is that same sort of thing, but your relationship is with the microphone uhm, and it needs to go through the microphone and then into the character and then the audience gets to it. So it's a whole-- There's a learning curve, I feel like it takes a second. Hopefully we got it right.

K: Now you're way younger than us, so I don't know if like- was He-Man in your wheelhouse growing up? Or that was before you?

C: He-Man, yeah, He-Man was on uh-- we didn't have cable when I was a kid, 'cause we didn't have the money for it. So I was watching, they were rerunning it on-- I'm trying to think what network it would've been. I can't even think of the names of what they were back then, but they were running- it was the rerun after the original series had aired. 'Cause I would watch that and I would watch X-Men, those are my cartoons.

M: Where'd you grew up, in New York?

C: In Ohio. Yeah, Dublin, Ohio, home of Wendy's, yeah.

K: That's true, that's where Wendy's begins, is in Ohio!

C: Yeah and there's a callback to Wendy! So..

M: This guy!

K: There's a writer, there's a writer! *points at both Marc and Chris*

M: High five!

K: What uh-- you know, we gotta be very careful of course, when we talk about MOTU, all of us are NDA'd up the A-H. You gotta play two different characters, what was that like?

C: That was one of the fun aspects of Prince Adam slash He-Man. It's finding these very different placements for the same person, right? So it has to feel like the same character but that, their emotional states are- Prince Adam is sort of in a different place: he's covering, he's deflecting, he's more fun and goofy..And then He-Man we have to drop the truth of his core mission, you know, to save the world, so..I mean, it starts with registers, right? That was the easy part. Prince Adam is supposed to be full of youth so he's a little higher and a little more excited, and then He-Man, *lower voice* go down and be more heroic, down in the basement and use his big fighty-fight voice.

K: It's pretty awesome, like you join a tradition of storytelling in which performers get to be two people, like you know, whoever plays Batman gets to do Bruce Wayne, and then they get to do the Dark Knight, whoever plays Superman gets to do Clark Kent and then they get to do the Man of Steel, so you get to do Prince Adam and then you also get to be his heroic alter ego, man.

C: Right.

K: It's a wonderful fraternity that you join.

C: Although I hear I'm in deep trouble, because the internet has found out that I'm not bulking up--

M: You're not doing the work?

C: --for my performance.

K: Somebody on Twitter was just like "Chris Wood, he's not big enough to play He-Man!" and they meant in size!

M: "Have you seen his thighs? His thighs are not nearly there!"

K: "He skips leg day all the time" but oh my God--

C: You're right! "He can't possibly play the character!"

K: Yeah I had to point out, I was like "I better get in touch with Netflix and see if they'll send Chris some steroids and a fucking peloton so he could do the the voice in an animated series."

M: Also, Chris is not from another planet. That's also an issue. Could you not have cast an indigenous actor to play somebody from Eternia?

K: Who was it tweeted, somebody tweeted something about Griffin Newman, they were like "Oh, tell Griffin we gotta cut his fucking legs off". Maybe it was there, texted that, tweeted that. What uh, now that you've voice acted and led an animated series: is it something that you see yourself doing again? I mean, of course, hopefully we all get to do this one again, but other stuff. You got like one of them Disney voices and you can sing like a motherfucker, man.

C: Oh man, I would love to do Disney too. Let's uh, put that in the bucket list. I honestly, I get a real kick out of it, it's..like you said you can really go to a larger-than-life place, and it all, it always has to come from, you know, something sincere, that sense of play has to be grounded in something. You just kind of yell and scream, I think people can hear that..so there's a challenge to it, but it's also super rewarding because you get to, you know, play characters that fly on cats that are oversized and wear armor and..

M: Jellicle cats?

K: None of that Jellicle shit in our show, Marc! Battle cats!

M: What kind of Jellicle are you? I'm a cringer cat!

K:*jokingly* Somebody point a sword at me, quick. Yeah man, it's a..

C: It's a long life with He-Man too, 'cause this, I mean the character is so fun and obviously..I had the action figures when I was a kid and those toys..I hope to introduce my son to Masters of the Universe via the action figures, 'cause I mean they're so weird! They really went there-- have you seen that special that they do on the toys on the Netflix show?

K: Oh yeah, the toy, the wonderful-

M: The Toys That Made Us.

K: -The Toys That Made Us.

C: Yeah, yeah The Toys That Made Us.

K: Their He-Man episode is unbelievably wonderful.

C: Oh, it's great! And it just shows you- you know they were thinking "what weird crap would a little boy like, put together on a toy?" And then they end up with these wild names, and these characters who do insane things and it's part of why it's so fun. And the fact that they found a way to build a story around those bizarre toys, that was also compelling.

K: Thank God they did--

C: 30 years later, it's amazing.

K: Thank God they did, we all have fuckin jobs, all three of us.

C: *laughs* You're right.

K: Wait so before we let you go, it occurs to me that Melissa just had her episode air of Supergirl, that she directed.

C: Directorial debut!

K: That's right! Did you- Did the Wood-Benoists or Benoist-Woods- did you guys like kick back and watch it together?

C: You know, we didn't because *laughs* we don't have cable. So, no!

K: Don't let CW hear that, or perhaps do and they'll pay for cable! Why don't you have cable? Where are you quarantining?

C: We're in California, so we're home, but we're usually not home.

K: Right! Oh my gosh, that's right!

C: As a fortunate actor you move to California to never be there. I was shooting in New York and she was shooting in Vancouver when this all started and we were lucky to get home quickly but uh, but yeah I mean, we don't spend that much time in our house, so we don't have cable!

K: Tell 'em why you were in New York. Was it the- that's been announced, right?

C: Yeah, yeah for Thirtysomething, Thirtysomethingelse which is an ABC show that hopefully, knock on me, hopefully ends up going when we get out of this situation with Covid. Yeah, it's a reboot of Thirtysomething, another 80s classic.

K: Oh my God, that's-- you'll have two, you'll have fuckin MOTU and Thirtysomething. I watched Thirtysomething in real time when I was a kid, I loved that show, my mom watched it so I watched it with her and stuff, so I know all about Hope and Michael. I saw that they were redoing the show and I saw that fucking Chris was involved and I was like "What?!", and I texted him "Are you fucking for real?" and shit, and you're playing Hope and Michael's- did they announce that? I don't know

C: Yeah, yeah, I'm their son, yeah.

K: So he's tied in-

M: He's a legacy character!

K: Legacy character and like-

C: Legacy! This is what's all about.

K: That's fucking dope, man. So I mean, look I can't wait to watch that, but I have seen and heard four animatics so far of MOTU and-

C: Oh man.

K:- your performance..

C: I cannot wait.

K: It's wonderful, you did a great, great job and made me proud as the guy who was like "You know who'd be good? This guy." Put you forward--

C: This guy and they're like "who's that?" and you're like "hang on, let me tell ya!"

K: Yes, "Here let me pull up IMDb". They knew who he was, they know you, man.

M: If you did like The Music Man it wouldn't have been an issue: “You know who’d be good? Wood would be good, if he could do that, I bet you Wood could.”

C: *Laughs* Well, you got He-Man, my friends. (inaudible) city.That was a, that was a deep cut.

M: Hell yes.

K:Look at you, look at how you came to life with a little theater ref, man. Jazz hands all around.

C: Oh yeah, you can feel the jazz hands from there in the Cantina.

M: Touching us all over

K: Go back and enjoy the rest of your Thursday night, thanks for hanging out with us, say hello to the good lady Benoist and whatnot.

C: Thank you gentlemen. It was wonderful seeing you both.

M: Good to see you, sir. Be well.

C: Alright guys, be well.

K: Give it up for He-Man himself, Chris Wood, everybody.

M: *cheers*

K: Mon-El..flies away. He’s so good, such a good guy. I forgot he was such a fucking theater kid, that’s right, and we were like talking theater and shit. And I forgot his connection to Garber. One more we wrote in.

M: We have another point of entry.

K: That’s true, that’s good. Man, I’m telling you, I ain’t fucking around, his script was one of the most impressive thing I’ve ever read,

M: Yeah, that’s awesome.

K: It did make me feel jealous where I’m like “he’s that pretty and he can write like this? Like, all I had was writing, fuck!”

M: That’s a problem.

K: God, what a good guy.

#chris wood #kevin smith #marc bernardin #fatman beyond #melissa benoist #melwood #mon-el #masters of the universe #MOTU #he-man #prince adam #masters of the universe netflix

[its-pronounced-quoassoint]

Power Rangers AU-Chapter 8

Pairings: romantic Logicality, Prinxiety, Demus, Remile

This Chapter features: Logan centric, trans!Logan

This Chapter Warnings: talks of past violence, brief mention of PTSD, description of scraped hands, mention of past ‘possession’, talks of manipulation, some cursing, sympathetic Deceit and Remus

Credit for this AU goes to @when-day-met-the-knight (specifically this post).

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this fic please let me know in reply!

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Chapter 8-Renette

Logan still thought they should have brought Patton to a medical proffessional. Thomas had practice with typical medical proceedures from his own time as a Ranger, but Patton's collapse should have been treated more carefully. However, he also knew that taking him to see a real doctor could potentially reveal his and their identities. Logan complied with Thomas's instructions and allowed Patton to be taken back to Thomas's home. The team was frantic. Remus and Dee weren't speaking to anyone but each other and it was starting to get on Logan's and Roman's nerves. Yes, they may be good friends, or friends-with-benefits, or whatever they were, but they had to confide in the others. The risk they had taken of talking to Virgilius like that was too great to not at least ask Thomas about. Then when their plan-well it didn't fail, to be honest Logan didn't know what had happened-but the two's plan didn't have the outcome they wanted and now they were shutting everyone else out.

Finally they reached Thomas's house. Emile discreetly hurried them in through the back. Remus set Patton down on the couch carefully and the rest of the Rangers, plus Emile sat around the table. They all deactivted thier Ranger armor and looked around. Emile came over to Logan and sat down next to him, pulling up a first aid kit and silently asking for Logan's cooperation. Logan hadn't even realized how badly his hands hurt. He looked at his palms to see them scrapped and raw, bleeding slightly in a few areas. When had that happened? He asked himself.

Logan allowed Emile to begin the disinfecting. It didn't hurt as badly as he had anticipated.

"I'm sorry." Thomas croaked out. "There's been quite a few attacks since Roman and Remus became Rangers, but I didn't expect she'd-she'd do . . . that so soon."

"Thomas it's okay." Roman gave a weak smile. "Really, you couldn't have known."

"Yeah, but I could have given you a warning."

"Even with such a warning, we likely wouldn't have known the extent of her ability, and I'm assuming that was barely scratching the surface of what she can do." Logan winced a little as Emile pressed the cotton harder into his palm.

"What even was that?" Dee asked. Oh so he hasn't totally forgotten us? Logan rolled his eyes to himself.

"Joan and Talyn called it possession-"

"Any ghost can do that in less than one lesson." Logan heard Roman whisper. That must be some Broadway reference I have yet to learn, he thought.

"The Dragon witch, sometimes she would possess the Generals that attacked us. When we came too close to actually stopping them. She'd take over their body and that black cloud would leave us almost defenseless." Thomas continued.

"Did she ever do, ya know, that?" Roman grunted, likely referencing the Dragon Witch's verbal maltreatment towards them.

"Only a couple times. She never really took possession of her generals, and when she did she was never that mad. She acted impressed, almost proud. It was so unnerving. Like she wanted her generals to fail against us. We didn't know why." Thomas sagged back into his chair. "She's never really said any of those things before."

"So we should expect her to do it again?" Roman asked incredulously.

"If you keep trying to make Virgilius turn to our side, I'd say so." Thomas sighed.

Logan, Roman, and Thomas turned to Reus and Dee, they held somewhat guilty expressions, but weren't backing down.

"What the hell you two?" Roman finally broke the silence. "Why didn't you tell us you were going to do that?"

"You didn't seem too keen on the idea when I asked you the first time, Roman!" Remus crossed his arms and huffed.

"What?" Logan looked to Roman. "When did you talk to Roman-"

"Saturday. Dee read up to the second to last chapter at that point and we came up with the plan." Reus stated.

"Remus talked to Roman about it later that day but apparently he said Virgilius wasn't gonna be convinced and we were just wasting time." Dee growled. "Figured if that's what Roman thought you two would be even less inclined to do it."

"But you did it anyway! And look at what happened!" Roman gestured to Patton on the couch.

"How could we have known that was gonna happen!" Dee refuted. "We just figured if we talked to him long enough he might see our side. We could help him!"

"And if he didn't then we'd know not to hold back." Remus lowered himself further in his chair.

"Not hold back?!" Roman stood. "What so when we fight him you're just holding back!"

"Roman you don't get it. That's not him." Dee's voice simmered.

"You don't know him!" Roman harshly put it.

"Patton and the two of us are the only ones that have gotten this close to him. He just gives off this feeling it's-"

"Unnatural." Patton's soft voice said from the couch. "Pink Ranger deactivate."

The Rangers and Emile rushed over to him frantically. Logan felt the weight on his chest that he hadn't realized was there, get lifted off of him. Patton smiled a little, but his eyes showed a  protectiveness Logan was familiar with.

"Patton what-" Roman started.

"Dee and Remus are right. Virgilius, he's-well-I don't know what he is, but being so close to him, it just felt wrong. Unnatural. It doesn't feel right. He's just like what Dee said; a pawn in her game. She's using him and if he hasn't seen it already then he's going to real soon." Patton explained.

"Patton-"

"I think he needs our help." Patton looked to Logan, desperately trying to get him to understand.

"I think he's been using Downright as a message. I mean why else would he attack after each chapter is posted, he wanted us to read it for a reason." Dee said quiety. "Then the last chapter was posted and it was all about Richie and Eddie leaving Derry, it was such a strange choice, but after talking to Dee we realized there were two ways you could look at it. We didn't really know for sure if he wanted to leave the Dragon Witch or not, but asking him what he thought was the perfect way to really figure it out."

"If he thought what the writer did made snese, then we could be even more sure that he's coming to our side." Remus finished. "Then his explination, it just made everything click! He wants to leave just like Richie and Eddie left Derry! I mean come on it just makes so much sense."

"We were getting through to him! Thomas said she only possessed the Generals when they were about to lose, we didn't even start fighting!" Dee went on. "We were making sense to him and it scared her."

"Before she possessed him, he seemed so tired." Patton said. "His emotions were just so strong I could feel it! He was so tired of the fighting! I'm not making this up. I know what I felt."

"How?" Roman asked. "Pat you're so sure this was how he felt, but you don't know him."

"I could feel what he was feeling!" Patton tried.

"Patton has always been better at sensing people's emotions, and knowing how to help them in times of distress." Logan nodded

"Megan calls it my sixth sense. It's not a super power but I'm almost never wrong. I know what I felt, it-it came from him." Patton stated firmly.

"If you're so sure that's how he feels, then what do we do about it?" Thomas asked. "Knowing the Dragon Witch, she's just going to make him hate us more now that she knows you two tried to help him. He's not going to be as easy to sway."

It was quiet. Logan looked to Patton and sat next to him, allowing Patton to intertwine his pinky with Logan's. Patton moved to fully hold his hand, but Logan felt the sting of his scrapes and pulled away. Patton looked at Logan curiously, to which he showed Patton his palms.

"I hate her." Patton whispered for just Logan to hear. "You know I don't say that lightly, but it's how I feel. She shouldn't have said those things to you. I didn't like her before, but when she sa-said that, gosh it made me snap."

"Patton-"

There was a knock at the door, interrupting Logan. Everyone was still.

"I'll get it." Emile said calmly.

"Wait Emile!" Patton whisper-yelled after him.

Emile only waved off Patton's concern and strode to the door.

"Renette!" He exclaimed giddily, jumping into the person's arms.

"Hey Sugar." The person responded.

Emile was set down and he dragged the person into the room for everyone to see. A tall, built woman follwed him. Her dark skin and even darker hair complimented the rose gold color of her suit, and her boxbraids were up in a bun. Her overall look was proffessional and Logan admired it greatly.

"Renette." Thomas sighed, relieved.

"Sorry you had to wait so long Thomas. Every time I planned on arriving something got in the way. Luckily, I was here for this one, so less work on my part had to be done. I came over here as quickly as I could." She stated.

Logan then recognized her, she was a pedestrian that he had helped in the square.

"Sorry, but, who are you?" Dee asked.

"Right, oh this is long overdue." She adressed the rest of the room. "My name is Renette Rademeyer-"

"That's awesome." Remus remarked.

"Thanks I picked it myself." Renette chuckled. "And I'm going to be working with you all on behalf of the federal government."

"You work with the FBI?" Roman asked.

"With your part of the FBI." She clarified. "I'll be handling a lot of things for you boys like foreign affairs, and other aid you can provide, I'm a go between, and a form of mentor. Thomas has been doing good, but you boys need to get some real training in."

"Foreign affairs?" Logan asked.

"You've been doing a great job fighting Virgilius and whatnot, but that's not the only thing you can help with. Other places around the world need you."

"Like the Avengers. They didn't just defeat aliens, they stopped terrorists and stuff." Patton said.

"We have to fight terrorists?" Roman asked.

"Oh, no no. Fighting terrorists is far too complicated to send you boys in." Renette stopped him. "Mainly outreach. Helping people in other countries get food, supplies, help during natural disasters, that sort of thing."

They nodded.

"And of course there are other things that I have to speak with you all about. This may take a while, so please get comfy." Renette waited.

Roman the sat next to Logan, then Dee, then Remus. Thomas sat in a chair, and Emile on the ground, looking up to Renette happily.

"To start, there's the matter of none of you except Thomas have summoned your Zords yet, so we'll be working on that." She began. "And because of this, we aren't going to be asking for any outreach, but know that once you can consistantly summon them, your participation in world helping efforts will be madatory."

Logan and the others felt a twinge of guilt at that. The zords were a vital part of the Power Rangers and to deafeat the Dragon Witch they would definitely, need them. Thomas said it had taken a long time for any of the last Power Rangers to summon them, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Then there's the matter of publicity. Currently as I'd hope you know, mattel is coming out with a new line of Power Rangers action figures and other companies plan to make products in your images. Then there's movies, music, and other forms of entertainment about you. Since, technically the Power Rangers have been copyrighted, you will all be compensated. However, you will not be actually receiving any compensation until after you've become a legal adult and college fees are paid."

"I've been wondering about college." Logan piped up. "I don't plan to stay in Florida for college and if the Dragon Witch is still attacking-"

"I guess I should get into that now." Renette sighed. "While there's no demand for you all to go to college here, I would hope by the time you leave you'll be able to summon your Zords and arrive to the sight of the attack quickly. If not, other arrangements will have to be made. Whichever college you attend shouldn't be a problem."

"So um, what was that about money?" Remus asked.

"And movies?" Roman piped up.

"Yeah that too, but mostly the money."

"Well, the compensation you all will be receiving for items being made about you, will go into a fund for each of you to attend a college that you are accepted into. When the time comes to go to college, that money will be paying for all of it, and if it doesn't cover wherever you would like to go the government will handle the rest." Renette explained. "Also any explaination to your parents will be provided, so don't worry about that. Any questions so far?

"No? Good. Next we have to talk about any invites you as Rangers may receive. Movie screenings, parades, celebrity parties, lunches, news station interviews, possibly even public addresses." Renette went on. "You'll obviosly have to go as a Ranger so your identity isn't revealed. You will be briefed later about how to speak to the public, but really it'll depend on the situation."

"Are we gonna be invited to see Broadway shows?" Roman asked expectantly.

"I would assume so. Thomas, I believe you and Emile saw Hamilton in Chicago upon invitation, correct?"

"And Dear Evan Hansen in New York." Emile nodded.

"So yeah, I would expect that." Renette shrugged and smiled at Roman's happier expression. "As for celebrity parties, well, you're not encouraged to go to all of them obviously. If you are able to attend a party that you've been invited to, you have to run it by me first and get my approval. There will of course be consequences if these rules aren't followed. When it comes to the news, like with public addresses, we'll brief you on what to say beforehand."

There was a beeping from inside her suit jacket that Logan recognized as the same text tone he set for his own phone. Renette pulled her phone out and scrolled up, likely unlocking it. Logan noticed the case looked much like his own, but rather than black, hers was yellow and clear.

"My son needs me." Renette grunted as she looked at the screen. "I-I'm sorry boys this was supposed to be a longer talk, but I've got to leave. One more thing though! On friday, I need all of you here after school. We'll be taking you to meet with your therapists."

"Therapists?" Dee asked.

"Of course, you think we expect kids to fight aliens every week and not have some kind of PTSD? You're all mandatorily meeting with seperate therapists. You can figure out schedules with them when you all meet." Renette stooped down to give Emile a hug, pulling the boy up into the air and squeezing before setting him back down. "And so you know Sugar, Remy says 'hello', but in that caffeine pumped voice he gets."

"Aww!" Emile folded his fingers. "How's he doing?"

"Better. Renae and Roland are being way over protective of him, just so you know."

"Well, tell him I said hi and that the cappuccino machine in Mr. Richard's room doesn't work anymore." Emile replied. "It was good to see you Renette."

"Always a pleasure Sugar." She smiled and left for the door. "You too Thomas. We'll talk again soon boys!"

With that she was out the door.

"Who's Remy?" Patton asked, there was a tone to his voice that suggested he was subtly trying to say something else, but Logan didn't know what.

"Renette's son." Emile said happily.

"That was so weird." Dee remarked. "I mean she just walked in here, said she was our FBI agent and left."

"Why didn't you tell us we were gonna have to see therapists?" Roman asked Thomas.

"Well, they were still trying to find some for you all, and frankly it wasn't the right time."

"It feels like no one's talking in this team anymore." Roman pouted.

"Renette tends to just show up and leave a lot Dee, you get used to it." Emile shrugged.

Behind him Thomas mouthed 'No you dont'.

"I liked her." Logan decided to say, not quite intending for anyone to hear.

"Agreed." Patton said back, softly though so only Logan would get the response.

Logan smiled at Patton and looked back down. His own phone suddenly alerted him of a text message.

Nora Montgomery:

Mama's home.

We told her you were in bed already. Come in through the back, Lauren's ready to let you in whenever.

"Shit!" Logan stood suddenly. "I have to go!"

"What why?" Patton followed, standing as well.

"Lo, what's going on?"

"Roman, my mom's home." Logan breathed out.

"Shit." Roman agreed.

Taglist:

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors @maddarc @pheonix-inside-reblogs @thisismysanderssidesblog @almost-all-my-ships-are-gay @mostpeopleannoyme @the-smol-est @i-sexually-identify-as-a-mistake @nadja-chamack16@too-bi-too-function @rainbowbowtie @mistypelt1234 @tricksterangel25 @authorized-trash @echocw @stripestar128128 @coffee-mugz @slitherynchicken

#logan sanders #patton sanders #trans!logan #sympathetic dark sides #thatsthat24 #logicality #demus #ts emile

[quinncupine]

hiya babie❣️ i hope you’re doin swell, drinkin water n taking care of yourself n whatnot! 💕 for tha brutal asks: e, p, t, & v? 🥺

Hi my Love!!❤I'm doing alright this week! I had monday off and I basically slept for like half the day, something I really needed lol (and I was so tired yesterday that I fell asleep writing this, sorry!)

Okay, let's get to some brtual asks!

E: how many holes do I have in my ears.

Just the basic piercing, one in each lobe. I always wanted to get another near the top but never got around to doing it. (Plus I like always forget to put earrings in anyway so getting more piercings would be a little pointless lol)

P: what kind of music i like?

I love soft songs like deep slow songs that have so much emotion to them. I'm a fan of certain rap artists like NF. I love epic music, just that huge orchestral vibe is really fun when I'm daydreaming or writing. Oh and I can't forget showtunes. Im a huge fan of Broadway and those are like my go to songs to sing when I'm in the car or the shower!

T: 5 things I love unconditionally

1. The first is definitely my family. Even when we fight, there is literally nothing I wouldn't do for them. They will always be the first to have my heart.

2. My pets. My animals are too pure for this world. I love them even when they chew through my favorite clothes, no matter how upset it makes me. Because they are baby🥺

3. Music. I don't know where I would be without music. I usually have to have some type of music playing while I work or I'll just go bananas, so music is a must!

4. My friends. I have a few loyal friends in real life that have gotten me through some pretty rough spots and if not for them, who knows where I would be. And of course, we can't forget about my favorite Tumblr friends who I absolutely adore and cherish with all my heart🥰

5. Writing. Writing has also been loyal to me, helping me through so many issues. Even if I get frustrated with it (a lot) I still wouldn't trade it for anything because its a part of me and I love it.

V: 3 big dreams

1. Find the love of my life and get married.

2. Land my dream job

3. Settle down with a family

#quinn talks #thank you Peaches! #love ya

[fvckyouimaprophet]

A Place to Belong

Prompt: 100 drabble challenge Number: 81/100 Pairing: Kurtbastian

New York is gray and wet in the winter—Kurt decides. He finds out quickly that snow in the city is much more romantic a concept than a reality as he passes by black, muddied banks of snow and tries to dodge unavoidable puddles of slush when he crosses the street.

“Are you sure your Scrooge act doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Blaine dumped you?” Elliott asks, and Kurt scowls.

It takes two weeks before he’s is able to convince Kurt to go to a bar. "I’m not ready,” he says, but Elliott pushes and prods until he gives in, if nothing for the drinks.

The Bushwick bar Elliott takes him to is emptier than he’s used to. So many people have left the city for the holidays, and the tourists don’t typically venture this far east in Brooklyn. But Kurt is grateful for it.

Halfway through his first drink, Elliott’s gaze moves past him, and when Kurt turns around, he spots a man in a knit turtleneck staring back at Elliott. He snorts and shakes his head. “Go for it.”

“I’m not going to leave you,” Elliott says, though his voice wavers.

“Elliott, I’m fine. One of us deserves to get lucky today.” He narrows his eyes, and when Kurt’s resolve doesn’t crumble, he nods.

“If it turns out you’re lying, and you tell me later that you wanted me to stay, I hope you know that I won’t feel bad.” He downs his drink and stands up. “Last chance.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “I’ll see you back at the apartment.”

By the time he makes his way up to the bar, Elliott is nowhere to be found. He’s walked in on more compromising situations with Elliott than either of them would care to admit, so he decides on one more drink before calling it a night. "A gin fizz please,” he says as he leans across the bar.

“I saw your boyfriend leave with another guy earlier,” the bartender says.

“Not my boyfriend.” He hears the sharp edge to his voice as it comes out, and the bartender lifts both hands in the air.

“Sounds like someone’s having a rough holiday.”

With Burt and Carole in DC for the holidays, the only thing for him in Lima had been Blaine, and Kurt doesn’t want to get into conversations about his ex with a stranger. “Something like that,” he says. He straightens his shoulders and sighs.

“Bad breakup?”

“None of your business.”

The bartender smirks and pours Kurt’s drink. “Your next one’s on the house,” he says as he slides it across the bar. Any feeling of guilt over his attitude evaporates as the bartender continues, “If you tell me the story, that is.”

“Who says there’s a story?” Kurt asks.

“Let’s just say you develop a knack for telling these sorts of things working at a bar. And holiday season is always rough.”

“Telling someone they’re a cliché isn’t the best way to get them to open up.” Kurt takes a sip from his drink. Despite the fact that the bar is unassuming, the drinks are better than average, and Kurt can sense that the bartender knows it as well based by the smug look behind his eyes. “Two drinks, and I’ll tell you.”

The bartender surveys him for a moment, impressed. “Okay.”

“My boyfriend broke up with me over the phone two days after I got a plane ticket to go home and see him,” Kurt says, and the bartender winces.

“Oof. That’s worse than I expected. He sounds like an asshole.” It’s oddly comforting to talk to someone about it without any looks of pity, and Kurt takes another sip of his drink as he takes the bartender in properly.

“Kind of. Long distance wasn’t working out for us for a while, and I didn’t want to accept it. I could sense that he wanted to break up when I moved to New York, but he clearly felt bad. Not too bad to cheat, though.” The last bit slips out before he can stop himself, and Kurt sucks in the inside of his cheek and bites down.

Before the bartender can respond, however, someone else walks up to the other side of the bar. “Give me a minute,” he says, and he walks over to them. Kurt finishes his drink feeling flustered, and for a moment, he considers leaving. But before he can decide, the bartender makes his way back to Kurt. “When’d you move to New York?” he asks as if they hadn’t been interrupted.

“May.”

“Oh wow, you’re still a newbie to the city, then. Why New York?”

He’s certain the bartender means no ill will by calling him a newbie, but the word feels oddly condescending, and Kurt bristles. “Why did you move to New York?” he asks.

“I was done with Paris,” he says with a shrug. Kurt nearly laughs, but the bartender looks oddly unfazed.

“Oh, you’re serious.”

“You’re not the only one with stories to tell.” But he doesn’t expand on it. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Well, like the rest of the city, I want to act. Broadway and whatnot. My boyfriend and I promised each other we’d go to the same college. Only I got into NYU, and we both got into UCLA, so we went to UCLA. Maybe a year and a half after I graduated, I realized that I’d been putting my dreams on hold for too long. So I moved to New York.”

“So you were high school sweethearts?” He looks at Kurt, amused. “You really are having a shitty holiday.” He sets his arms down on the bar and leans over until Kurt is aware of how close they were. “Let me guess your next drink.”

“Aren’t you confident?” Kurt scoffs. “Fine.”

The bartender lingers for a moment, holding Kurt’s gaze. Kurt gets the sense that he’s reading him—perhaps trying to figure something out—but his face remains infuriatingly unrevealing. Kurt does his best to stand his ground and return the favor. Not for the first time, it strikes him that the man standing in front of him is attractive.

Wordlessly, he pulls back and begins to make Kurt’s drink. “Close your eyes,” he says, and Kurt finds himself listening despite his better judgment. He waits until he hears the click of the glass in front of him to open his eyes.

He smells it as soon as he lifts it to take a drink, and Kurt knows. “French gimlet. It’s my favorite drink.” And when he takes a sip, he can’t help but let out a satisfied sigh. The proportions are perfect. “Fuck, you’re good.”

“It’s one of my many talents.”

“What are your others?” Kurt asks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” When he raises an eyebrow, Kurt feels his mouth dry out, but a voice from behind them interrupts.

“Pint of Guinness please,” a woman says. She sets cash down on the counter when Sebastian hands her the drink and steps away.

“Grab a bite to eat with me after my shift.” There’s barely a question in his voice.

“When do you get off?” Kurt asks.

“Eleven.” Although he wants to say yes, Kurt hesitates, uncertainty starting to bubble within him. The bartender must sense it because he wets his lips before adding, “I’m going to get in trouble if I just talk to you, but I want to the chance to talk—uninterrupted.” His voice drops for the last word, and Kurt feels heat crawl from his neck to his cheeks.

"I don’t even know your name.” Kurt can hear how light and breathy he sounds.

“Sebastian.”

He pauses for a moment before nodding. “If you try to take me to get dollar pizza, though, I’m leaving.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Sebastian smirks and starts to walk away.

“And it’s Kurt,” he says. He settles into the stool and runs his finger over the rim of his glass as he watches Sebastian take someone else’s order. Perhaps, he decides, winter in New York isn’t that bad after all.

#kurtbastian #my kurtbastian #my fics #100 dc: kurtbastian #the last time i filled a prompt for this challenge was in january of 2016 #let's see if 2020 is the year i finally finish all 100 of them

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

Spooky babbles about RENT (the Broadway Musical (about assholes ))

We all have our guilty pleasures, or at least enjoy things that we acknowledge are bad. I’m sure that you and I can both name examples of these things specific to us.

It’s also likely that, like me, when someone makes a compelling video essay about something that you’ve never seen, that you agree with that person. Only to become exposed to more of it, and then you realize that “hey some of this is pretty good”, but then you become super conflicted bc you know that it’s bad, but you still enjoy aspects about it.....

I’m just making this about me, aren’t I? Welph, let’s do this proper and make another essay, bc I totally have time, and I totally won’t regret this later when I have a million things to do:)

.... oh quarantine, what have you done to me~?

... so, Lindsey Ellis. I consume her content regularly, and I would absolutely say that she’s probably one of the best YouTubers nowadays. You might remember her from her nostalgia chick days, but since distancing herself from that character, she makes video essays on several topics, a lot of them pertaining to popular shows and stories. If you write stories or enjoy creating characters and whatnot, I would make her channel a must to check out.

She also has a podcast on Spotify called “Musicalsplaining”, which I would also recommend you check out. It’s a podcast she does with her friend Kaveh, who dislikes musicals. They both watch a musical, and have a discussion over it, and it can get pretty funny due to their discussions being unscripted banter between two buds stuck in quarantine.

Lindsey has done both a video on a musical called RENT, and she and Kaveh covered it in their podcast. If you want a more funny coverage of it, I’d say listen to the podcast, as both Lindsey and Kaveh basically bond over their mutual rage, which is honestly beautiful. For a more in depth look at how RENT misrepresents the AIDs crisis, the lgbt+ community, and is just a bad story in general, check out her video essay on RENT on YouTube.

As you can probably guess, I’ve listened to both the video and the podcast. At least 8 times each (seriously, they’re really good). Now, I had never watched Rent before, nor had I listened to the soundtrack. The most I did was read the synopsis on Wikipedia. And I still haven’t watched the musical... but I currently have over half the soundtrack downloaded on Spotify.

So.... yeah. And after listening to the soundtrack, I have some thoughts. I don’t disagree with Lindsey’s take on Rent, honestly I still 100% agree with everything that she said, but now... something’s different. I see potential in Rent, and I see some gold hidden in what is basically a steaming pile of narcissism masked as “being artistic”. And that actually makes Rent that much more frustrating for me.

I’ll assume that despite my recommendations, you might not feel like listening to Lindsey’s coverage of Rent. While I still recommend you do so, since she explains the issues better than I ever could, I’ll do my best to give you as brief of an explanation as I can.

Rent is a rock musical loosely based on the opera La Boheme. It follows a group of “struggling artists” attempting to survive in New York during the AIDs/ HIV crisis. It’s one of the first popular Broadway musicals that featured LGBT+ characters, and it was rather successful when it was a new thing. Then years past, people forgot about it, then a terrible movie adaptation was made. Said movie caused a lot of people to realize that maybe Rent wasn’t actually that good.

The heroes of our story are as follows.

We have Roger, one of the more decent people here (which isn’t saying much), who’s a former drug user who’s trying to stay clean from drugs. He lost his last girlfriend to suicide, and he’s currently dying from AIDs. He’s trying to write one great song before he dies so he can leave some kind of legacy.

Mark is a wannabe filmmaker who exploits people’s misfortune for his own passion project (without their consent). He likes to film and romanticize the plight of the homeless while doing fuck all to help. He’s struggling financially, so he considers it fair to not pay for anything bc he’s an artist and being poor is admirable or something. Also, not only is he a privileged white kid with rich parents who could help him, but he refuses to contact them, he also quits a decent job bc he can’t express himself artistically. I wish I was kidding.

Mimi is a stripper with a drug addiction and AIDs. She’s also the love interest for Roger. While logically, it’d be a bad idea for Roger, someone who is trying to be clean of drugs, to not get involved with Mimi, the story wouldn’t have you believe that. She tries to get him to do drugs with her and “live”, and the story tries to do a thing by having her fake die by aids, only to be revived and cured by Roger singing. I wish I was kidding.

Maureen is a narcissist who gaslights her partners, has a weird job as a performance artist, and is bisexual so of course she has to be super slutty and flirtatious, and dance around the idea of cheating on her gf, Joanne, who’s this super smart, serious gal who leads protests for social justice.

Collins and Angel are the local maybe adora-gays, maybe adorable trans x cis person couple. (It depends on the adaptation and audience interpretation whether Angel is a drag queen or trans). Angel takes in an ailing Collins to live with her, and she also gets super rich by killing a dog. Collins is an anarchist currently fighting the aids epidemic. They’re a cute couple, but then Angel dies of aids bc we need a sad, and then Collins starts robbing atms in memory of his dead lover. I wish I was kidding.

Yes, I skipped over some stuff, but kids, this is a Tumblr post, and we’re already dealing with an essay here. And Wikipedia is right there. Basically, all you need to know is that Rent is a musical about assholes justifying their behaviour by being like “oh, but we’re artists!!!”. Oh yeah, and there’s also a guy called Benny who’s a former friend, and the only decent person here despite being portrayed as a bad dude, but I honestly don’t think I can remember anything beyond that for the life of me.

So, clearly Rent isn’t perfect. But, it’s hard to deny its impact. After all, it featured a main cast where half of the characters are POC and LGBT+ . Mind you, it was written by a straight man who “knew some gay people”. But, at the time, it was at least better than nothing.

And one aspect of Rent that people still appreciate to this day are the songs. And honestly? The majority of it is pretty great. A lot of people might recognize Take Me as I Am and Seasons of Love, two iconic songs brought to this world by Rent. And the rest of the soundtrack is great.... well, it’s better if you can make yourself forget the context of the songs, and look over some poorly aged lyrics. Light My Candle and I’ll Cover You are pretty cute songs, Goodbye Love has some great vocals, Another Day fucking slaps, and la Vie Boheme is a fun listen despite some weird lyrics.

While listening to the soundtrack, I realized something. A lot of these songs are great.... out of context. Another Day is great, until you remember that Roger is being portrayed as unwilling to live life bc he’s trying to stay clean of drugs. Yes, he likes Mimi, but there’s a pretty legitimate reason why he shouldn’t. And yet he’s in the wrong for... being concerned about his health? La Vie Boheme is soured when you remember that the cast is doing this entire performance after the restaurant owner begs them “no, not tonight, please!” Like, the guy’s doing his job and trying to run a business, but fuck him, let’s piss off people who don’t agree with us! And Take Me Or Leave Me is basically Maureen accusing Joanne of being too controlling and not accepting, when Joanne is taking issue with how Maureen is flirting with others constantly and is dancing around the line of being unfaithful. And Maureen’s logic is, I shit you not, “oh, but I just can’t resist temptation, and I’m attractive, and as long as I’m in your bed and not someone else’s, it’s ok!”

This... made me think. Maybe all Rent needs is a rewrite. An update. Something like Rent can probably work, but the misunderstanding of how poverty, aids, and societal unfairness works ultimately drags it down. Most of all, I think that Rent is an example of how a Broadway show can have great music, but that’s only part of it. If you fail in story and characters, the music won’t save you.

Let me know what you guys think about this.

I apologize for wasting your time,

- Spooky

[sophiashortcake]

Boba delivery with a side of please drop your makeup routine please~🤲 ( and hehe because your nonies are dropping their star signs I feel like I should as well- I’m a Taurus with a Libra moon and a Leo rising) -🧋

LIBRA MOON AND LEO RISING? you’re so hot 🤬

also i’m putting a read more option because my makeup routine is so wack

moisturizer: cerave daily moisturzing lotion

good for dry skin!!

sunscreen: bioré watery essence spf 50+

wear sunscreen or i’ll beat u

primer: e.l.f. poreless putty primer + milk hydrogrip primer

use the putty one first and then the hydrogrip and my makeup lasts 12+ hours!! very smoothing

eyebrows: nyx micro brow pencil or literally any eyeshadow i have laying around + nyx tinted brow mascara

okay so i’ve been doing my makeup for?? 3 years?? i still don’t know how to draw my eyebrows honestly. i don’t even make them look bolder or anything, i just fill them in and then put gel on them. the micro brow pencil is good for just naturally filling in eyebrows and i use the eyeshadow like a brow powder if i want something more noticeable.

concealer: makeup revolution conceal & fix ultimate coverage concealer

i spot conceal before foundation!! i put on the concealer ontop of my blemishes + discoloration and I DON’T BLEND IT OUT, i let it sit before i apply my foundation ontop. i like pot concealers for spot concealing because they’re heavy coverage.

foundation: colourpop pretty fresh tinted moisturizer

this is really natural but still good coverage!! feels a bit more like a foundation than a tinted moisturizer though. i also wouldn’t use a sponge if you’re trying to get some coverage, i personally use a brush to blend it out.

concealer: e.l.f. hydrating camo concealer

since i already concealed my blemishes and whatnot, i just conceal my dark circles now. i prefer the hydrating formula rather the matte because the matte gets kind of crunchy under your eyes.

loose powder: kvd lock-it setting powder

k*t v*n d is no longer affiliated with the company and no longer profits off of the makeup so buying from them is okay now!! i’m pretty sure there are better powders out there because this one is just okay, nothing amazing, but i got mine as a gift and i’m trying to use it up before i get a new one.

pressed powder: covergirl clean fresh powder or maybelline fit me matte + poreless powder

i’m not really picky with pressed powders, so i just buy any one from the drugstore and call it a day. these get the job fine and i just grab whichever one is closest to me so i don’t really have a preference between the two.

bronzer: benefit hoola bronzer or beauty bakerie neapolitan bar

so the beauty bakerie neapolitan bar is a face palette so i use it for my entire face most of the time. i have the hoola too, but i use that when i’m being more natural. the beauty bakerie one is good for contouring and bronzing because of the tone.

blush: milani rose powder blush or beauty bakerie neapolitan bar or flower beauty blush bomb color drops or milani cheek kiss blush

i tend to buy alot of blush so i use a bunch. i like matte ones because sparkly ones tend to emphasize my cheeks. i use a liquid then set it with a powder blush.

highlighter: benefit cookie highlighter or beauty bakerie neapolitan bar

really good highlighters!! they’re more sparkly than metallic and are soft goldy colors.

eyeshadow: anatasia soft glam palette

good for people who don’t know how the fuck to do a smokey eye 😖 (the brush is also so good for nose contours!! i use the stamp and blend method hehe)

eyeliner: nyx epic ink liner or nyx matte liquid liner and wet n wild pencil liner

so i use the epic ink liner when i want to draw a wing fast because it’s easier to use and i use the matte liquid liner when i want my eyeliner to last longer. both are good, and are just a preference on how you like your eyeliners! and if i tightline, i just use a regular wet n wild pencil liner i have laying around

mascara: essence lash princess or l’oreal telescopic or maybelline lash sensational

good for volume and length!! but i tend not to care about my mascara really because i just put on falsies afterwards

eyelashes: dysilk false eyelashes or kiss lash couture triple push up lashes in brassiere with duo brush on dark adhesive

the dysilk ones are good if you don’t wanna spend alot on lashes and are very good quality for the price of it. and the kiss lash push ups are my favorite lash line >:) ALSO IF YOU WEAR EYELINER PLS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BUY BLACK LASH GLUE!! AND GET THE ONE WITH A BRUSH!! YOUR LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH EASIER!!

setting spray: milani make it last setting spray and milk hydrogrip setting spray

throughout the process i’ll spray the milani one to melt my makeup together but to finish i’ll use the milk one because it’s more long-lasting!!

lips: literally any clear gloss from the beauty supply store (i like the broadway ones)

#[📨] — inbox #[💌] — anonymous #[🧋] — anon

[asoftervirge]

Of “Love” & Murder - (8/13)

CHAPTER TITLE: Intelligence is Lethal and Deadly

RATING: M PAIRINGS: P. Sanders/V. Sanders (main/one-sided); R. Sanders/V. Sanders (former); V. Sanders/L. Sanders (former); V. Sanders/D. Sanders (former); Remy/E. Picani (side); T. Sanders/OMC (mentioned)

CHAPTER WARNINGS/KINKS: Murder, Arsenic Poisoning, mentions of Lying, mentions of a False Past, brief mention of Alcohol, minor Religious Allegory, introduction to Janus Sanders CHAPTER SUMMARY:  Logan tells Patton all about his death.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: And now, the death of Logan! Plus, we get the introduction to the last of Virgil’s spouses! :D Not a lot of triggers for this chapter, but it’s still a death chapter, so please take care of yourself if you decide to keep going! And in case anyone was wondering, Logan’s death was inspired by an Italian novel, and actual arsenic poisoned books that are currently housed in the University of Denmark. Have fun reading everyone! xx Virge

INSPIRATION: This post by @phantomofthesanderssides

AO3 || Buy Me a Ko-Fi!

Patton’s heart dropped to his stomach. Like with hearing the method of Roman’s murder, his face grew pale and his hands started quaking. He could swear that his legs were also buckling and quaking underneath of himself.

“You—” he almost didn’t know what to say. “Y-You were poisoned?!”

“I hadn’t realized my sentence has fallen upon deaf ears,” Logan’s mouth twists into something almost cruel. “After hearing of Roman’s ultimate demise, I did not realize that hearing Virgil is capable of committing such horrific and murderous atrocities is still hard so conceive.”

Again, Logan didn’t have to be mean about it, but it’s true! Even after hearing Roman explain how he was murdered; Patton was still in some form of denial. He’s been seeing Virgil for over a month now, and he’s just now discovering the truth about him? It was like he was in a nightmare! And, in a way, he is; a nightmare where he isn’t sleeping, which seems to be much worse.

He didn’t have it in him to ask how, he didn’t even know if he could. Poisoning was poisoning, it was so linear that there is almost no need for an explanation. And yet, Logan was willing to give him one.

“It appeared to be a normal day for the two of us. We woke up together, made and had breakfast, then spent some time by ourselves— I was working on essays for journals and drafting a possible novel idea. Virgil isolated himself upstairs in his office doing whatever he tended to occupy himself with— but that didn’t mean we did not spend quality time together. We would have afternoon tea, then then dinner, and after that we would spend some time reading in the library before we would go to bed.”

“It was very unexpected,” the novelist’s frown grows deeper. “Virgil seemed…almost normal, as normal as a murderer can be. I failed to see him poisoning my possessions, I failed to any murderous paraphernalia in the manor, and most importantly, I failed to see the truth behind all the niceties. I failed to see how I had fallen into the trappings of evil.”

Patton’s heart sunk lower in his body. Logan’s fancy way of words almost made is seem crueler.

Xe continued on. “I was here in the library, simply enjoying my novel when he came in with a tray of drinks and snacks. Then he left and returned with a box for me, a box containing my favorite work by Agatha Christie. One could say that I was touched by what he had gifted me. I absorbed myself in the novel, but I slowly started to have an upset stomach. I drank my tea in hopes that would help me, but then an unbearable pain quickly took hold of my being. Sweet-sounding words were then cooed into my ear, but they didn’t hide any cruelty. And finally, blackness.”

…

Virgil shuffled about the kitchen, humming a tune under his breath as he finishes preparing drinks for himself and his new spouse Logan, French press coffee and green tea respectively. The kitchen still faintly smelled of the dinner they had just had together moments before, a dish that was a particular favorite of the novelist.

(Even though xe was going to die soon, he figured he would give xem the same treatment he did his first husband. Minus the whole drowning and choking, that is.)

He also got started on biscuits and cake for themselves, grabbing dishes of butter, marmalade, chocolate sauce, and jelly spreads— which was an unabashed weakness of Logan’s.

All that was needed was one more finishing touch.

He made his way upstairs and into his office. Sitting on his desk was a decorative box, but he wasn’t focused on that just yet. He rummaged through the drawers before finally finding what he was looking for.

It was a small bottle filled with a white powder.

Any normal person might confuse it with everyday things like flour or baking soda, but Virgil knew exactly what it was and what it was used for.

Smirking, he grabbed the bottle and the box before taking them back down to the kitchen.

He opens the bottle, making sure he doesn’t inhale any of the toxins, before dumping some into Logan’s tea. He quickly puts the bottle away before stirring the contents together so it would dissolve.

When it did, he finally carried the tray to the library where he knew his second partner would be.

Sure enough, Logan was reclining in one of the chairs closest to the fireplace. One hand was holding xyrs book securely so it wouldn’t fall out of xyrs lap, while the other was perched on xyrs chin. Xyrs dark blue eyes were looking at the text in deep fascination.

Virgil couldn’t help but peak down and look at the cover.

Cosmos by Carl Sagan.

He liked talking about stars and constellations and whatnot with Logan every now and again, but sometimes he would get annoyed because the novelist would drone on and on. He often wondered how xe was able to do that publicly, every single day and not annoy people. Then again, the panels and conferences they would attend (much to Virgil’s chagrin) would often have people that shared in xyrs interests.

In a way, xe almost reminded him of Roman, what with how he would talk about Disney and Broadway musicals all the time. The only difference was he didn’t hear singing constantly coming from the novelist’s mouth, if any for that matter.

(Such a minute thing almost made Virgil miss the late actor…almost.)

A soft clearing of his throat got Logan’s attention.

“Ah, Virgil,” Xe sits up a little straighter and closes his book, but not without putting a page-marker in it. “How are you this evening, my moonlight?”

Despite his dark motivations, Virgil couldn’t help the tiny blush and faint growl. Damn this nerd for saying something so simple yet making it affectionate at the same time!

He quickly recovered however. “Oh, I’m doing just fine, starshine.” He says as he sets the tray down on the table beside Logan. He moved closer and gave him a small pinch to the corner of his lips. (This was their special way of expressing love to each other since neither were very affectionate people). “Reading anything special?”

“Nothing that I already didn’t know about,” xe tells him, showing him the cover. “But it’s still an exciting read regardless.”

Virgil hummed. “Well, I’ve brought some tea and biscuits for us before bed. I even brought your favorite jellies because I know you can’t resist.” He snickered at the noise Logan made. “I’ll be right back, just have to get something else from the kitchen.”

“Alright.”

His devious smirk returned as he slipped out of the library and back into the kitchen where he left the box. He grabs it and returns to see Logan still preoccupied with his current book.

The wealthy man cleared his throat once more, signaling that he came back.

Logan looked up. “Oh, you’ve returned.” Xe noticed the box Virgil was holding. “What is that you’re holding?”

“Just a little something special for you,” he says with a sweet-looking smile. “Here. Open it.”

Setting down xyrs book and taking the box, Logan opens it and is surprised by what was inside.

“Is— Is this a copy of my favorite Agatha Christie novel?” xe asks in astonishment as xe pulls out the copy of The Murder of Roger Ackroyd. “I-I…I don’t even know what to say…”

“Maybe a thank you?” Virgil snickered.

Logan cleared xyrs throat, faintly blushing in embarrassment. “Y-Yes. Yes, I suppose— Uhm. Th-Thank you for this, Virgil. It is a very thoughtful gift coming from you.”

“Anything for my new spouse.” He gives him another pinch before taking his mug of coffee.

No more words were spoken between the two as they read from their respective novels. The only sounds made were the crackles of the fire and the occasional turn of a page.

Virgil couldn’t help but look to see how Logan was fairing. He watches with a hint of amusement as the novelist was more absorbed in this book than the last. He hadn’t even touched his tea yet!

Although he wanted to frown at that, he didn’t.

He knew better.

The time will come eventually.

What he did notice was that Logan read (or maybe skimmed?) the pages then lick at xyr fingers before flipping to the next one.

Virgil hid his victorious smile within his mug. He sprinkled the corners with that exact same powder he dumped into the tea, so at least xe were ingesting it. But it wasn’t enough to garner a true reaction out of xem just yet.

He goes back to his book, but still looked up at his spouse every now and again.

Things started to get interesting sometime after.

Logan let out a quiet grunt, which wouldn’t be a big deal had it not been for what Virgil had done to the book and tea. He watches as the novelist tries to play it off.

“You okay there, starshine? Got a headache or something?” He feigned concern, watching his second victim for any tell-tale signs that the poison was slowly taking effect. He then sees xem drinking xyr tea, hoping that would help ease his pains.

That only made things worse, however.

Logan began to cough, and again, it wouldn’t be something to worry about had it not been for the blood that appeared on his hand.

“Are you sure you’re alright, L? That was a pretty hard cough.” Virgil continued to fake his concerns.

Logan coughed again, waving him off. Xyr hands started to shake as xe brought xyr cup to xyr lips. “Y-Yes,” xe reassures. “I-I’m alright, Virgil.”

Xe think xyr fine. How adorable. Virgil had done his research; it takes about a half an hour for an eighth of a teaspoon to kill someone. He put in a little more than that, just for good measure.

Virgil kept staring at his spouse, watching every little thing that went on. It was intriguing, if he were to be honest.

Preoccupied with his dark thoughts, he didn’t realize Logan’s eye roll into the back of xyr head, and only became aware of his surroundings when he heard the thud of his spouse hitting the floor, a book falling right beside xyr body, and xyr glasses flying of xyr face.

With a smirk, the widower slid down to the floor, holding Logan’s head in his lap. He pets xyr hair, the very thing he remembered the novelist doing to him when he (pretended to) have anxiety and panic attacks. All the while he whispered quietly, knowing Logan would hear but wouldn’t respond to.

“Oh, Logan. My brilliant but naïve starshine. I think I forgot to tell you something. There might have been a little…surprise in both your tea and your book. Yep, a surprise. What was it, you might be asking? Well, if you hadn’t already deduced it— and I doubt you have— it was a bit of arsenic that I keep in my medicine cabinet.”

He chucked sinisterly while Logan seized in his arms, all the while, petting xem like xe were some sort of sick puppy.

“How does it feel, Mx. Oxford? To know that your death was caused by the two things that had meant the absolute world to you?”

Logan jerked violently, foam starting to slip past xyr lips. Virgil laughed.

“The minute I heard you come into my old bookstore, it seemed like a sense irony was on my side. And you were such an easy target too! All I had to do was debate with you, butter your ego up with flattery and you followed me like a schoolboy getting praise from a teacher.”

Virgil’s smirk grew wider, almost to where he was smiling.

“Too bad it wasn’t gonna last. Like I did with Roman— you’ve heard about him, haven’t you? The Scarlet Rose from my first marriage? — I had to get rid of you eventually. And now, I am.”

Logan’s body jerked violently again, foam now pouring out of xyr mouth and down xyr chin. Xe kept coughing, blood turning the foam pink and red in places where blood clots came out.

“Now, just sleep, Logan. Sleep and dream of those oh so wonderful constellations you kept ranting about to me~”

Suddenly, after Virgil’s last coo, the novelist stilled. The blood and foam slowly stopped leaking out of xyr mouth, but xe already drench the now two-time widower’s hands in red.

Virgil fished cleansing wipes out of his pocket and cleaned his hands as best he could. He knew he would have to get the peroxide out later. Right now? He was going to finish reading his book.

Allowing Logan’s head to thump to the carpet underneath, he stood up and simply sat back down in his leather chair, acting as if nothing had happened.

He flipped the page and chuckled at the short story he turned to.

Edgar Allan Poe’s “Murders in the Rue Morgue.”

Devilishly ironic.

Name: Logan Oxford November 03, 1954 -  April 18, 1978 Cause of Death: Arsenic Poisoning Accidental Suicide

…

Patton felt tears burning his eyes once more as Logan finished his recollection. The novelist looked down at the floor, xyr hands were behind xyr back so the confectioner couldn’t see how they were shaking in slight rage.

He didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t say anything. All he did was sniffle and wipe his tears.

“I was stupid to play it off as nothing,” Logan says, a cold anger slowly seeping into xyr voice. “I should’ve recognized the symptoms of arsenic poisoning.” Xe huffed something akin to a laugh. “It’s indescribable…watching your spouse place your head in his lap and pretend to comfort you in such a sickening way. All the while telling you it was his intention to kill you.”

First with Roman, and now Logan?… He still can’t imagine it, it all sounded so horrible.

Suddenly, something that the novelist said resurfaced in his mind.

“Wait,” he says with a small crack in his voice. “Did you say…Virgil worked in that bookstore?!”

Logan nodded. “That’s what I hypothesized from his words. He didn’t seem all that comfortable with being there the first time we had met, last I recall.” Xe tell him. “While it is not a lot of evidence, there is no way he wouldn’t say that to me— as I was dying, mind you— if it wasn’t anything but the truth.”

All of this was changing everything for Patton.

Virgil originally worked in a bookstore? He lied to him from the first moment they met? His heart was slowly breaking. If this was just one thing Virgil lied about, then how many more lies did he tell him? And, most importantly, how many of them did he fall for?

“I’m not one to beg,” the novelist tells him. Xe looked at him with a small hint of desperation in xyr dark blue eyes. “But you must leave this place at once, Patton. We are warning you because we do not want another person to fall prey to Virgil’s inhumanity.”

Patton was surprised by how tiny his voice became.

“Logan—”

“I’ll have you know that we are not saying this to scare you,” Logan’s eyes sharpened, causing the confectioner to coil back in surprise. “We all have been flattered by his smooth praises, compliments, and other methods of blandishment. He made us feel good, made us feel more appreciated than how we were before we fell into his hands.”

The novelist’s shoulders slumped and now xe were looking at him tiredly. Xe were tired. Tired of all the emotions xe had suppressed while xe were alive. Now, they were finally breaching up to the surface.

“Listen to me, Patton. There is much more to your life than just having Virgil in it. You have accomplished so much before you met him, and you will be able to gain so much more if you leave.” Xe explain. “Love makes people do extremely irrational things. It makes them pull stupid actions, and this, is one of them. So please, heed our warning and escape this manor. Escape Virgil.”

“…I promise.” Patton says in a whisper, another one that had a lie burning underneath it.

Feeling satisfied, Logan nods and fades away. The fireplace flickers out the second xe vanished.

Two stories down and only one remains.

With a sigh, Patton leaves the library with a gentle shut of the doors (or as gentle as double-doors can close). He curled forward as he rested against them.

His mind was swimming with emotions, primarily those on the negative end of the spectrum. And despite the deep (very deep) desire to run and never look back, he still didn’t have it within him to do that just yet. He needed to know who the one in the suit was, what role did they play as Virgil’s last husband (or spouse), and how did the two-time widower destroy him too.

So, Patton forced himself to straighten up and made his way to the back of the manor.

Light shined from the glass door of the conservatory, sending him a small amount of comfort as he stopped in front of the walnut door. He looked up and down it, observing the serpentine engravings marked on it. Then, his gaze settled on the cobra-looking door handle.

After inhaling and exhaling a deep breath, he inserts the key and moved his wrist. It finally clicked open after a few minutes of jimmying with it. Feeling emboldened, he pulls the door back and walks inside.

It was an office, he realizes. A simple, yet fancy looking office.

The carpeted floor was a dark green as opposed to the dark blue ones in the library, and instead of silver embroidery, it was detailed in gold. The desk was mahogany wood and in front of it, were two black leathered seats.

A file cabinet rested against the wall right of the desk, and a glass tank (maybe for fish? reptiles?) rested left of it. A bar was to the left of the door, no alcohol was stocked on the shelves, aside from a crystal platter holding cups for vials of stock and whisky.

Behind the desk was a beautiful, ornate glass window that shined moonlight thanks to the parted dark green and gold curtains. Photographs hung in various places on the walls, many of them were newspaper headlines — headlines of famous court cases, many of them won.

Patton closes the door.

“My, my.” A deep, silky voice rings in the air. “It amazes me how an innocent little lamb continues to wander far from the comforts of Eden.” The confectioner shivers at the sound. “But I wouldn’t want to be a lost sheep forever. One must return to God soon, or he shall be slaughtered by the wicked Devil himself.”

Patton looks around to see where the voice was coming from, but he couldn’t find anyone. Then the leather chair slowly swivels around to face him.

The person sitting in it? Was the one in the third portrait.

The one in the suit.

“I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Hart.”

#Sanders Sides #Patton Sanders #Logan Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Janus Sanders #Moxiety #Analogical #Anxceit #death tw #blood tw #poison tw #Of Love & Murder

[starlene]

A long, itemized, soul-searching list of complaints

...related to theatre in Finland, and my personal relationship to it.

This has been brewing in my mind for a while, and I have to write this out somewhere or I think I’ll start wailing in frustration. I’m putting it on Tumblr, because I feel like now is simply not the right time to start airing my complaints about the Finnish theatre scene in spaces that people from said scene actually visit. But I still have to try to get this out of my mind.

So.

Seeing how theatres have been closed for over four months now, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on my own relationship to Finnish musical theatre. For the past decade, it’s been the thing I’ve been the most interested in – which is why it feels so saddening to me to see where the whole scene seems to be going.

You see, for a country with only 5,5 million inhabitants, and only 18 people per square kilometer, Finland has a ridiculously robust network of state-subsidized theatres. There are dozens of them, most big and mid-sized towns have one. So far, so good, right? But then, when you look into this a little bit deeper, and figure out how musicals fit into the equation...

Well, here’s how it looks like:

1) Musicals are widely regarded as the cash cows of Finnish theatre. Put on Fiddler on the Roof and you’re guaranteed to get butts in seats. The most popular theatrical productions in this country are almost always musicals.

2) In so-called intellectual circles, musicals are widely regarded as worthless drivel that should not benefit from any public funding.

3) During the past... dunno, five years or so, a handful of our biggest theatres have been getting into this ridiculous ours-is-bigger-than-yours type of competition with their musical productions. They buy the rights to some mediocre new musical that ran on Broadway for a year and a half, promote it as a huge Broadway success story that is finally being brought to Finland, and come up with some way to make it bigger or otherwise more special than any Finnish musical production before – be it the biggest ensemble, the flashiest special effects, the most famous composer visiting the premiere, the most accordions added to the original orchestration (added accordion has seriously been used as a selling point over here)... And the productions themselves tend to be these replica-ish-but-not-quite, professionally made but artistically bland and devoid-of-any-deeper-meaning spectacles.

4) The ticket prices for these big musical productions have shot through the roof. I’m talking about increases up to 80% in ten years – increases that simply cannot be explained away with the overall rate of inflation. I’m talking tickets to Finnish state-subsidized musicals costing the same as tickets to Finnish commercial musicals (well, granted, we only have one theatre that’s making big scale commercial productions – but it’s not a good look that their prices match the state-funded prices), tickets to Swedish commercial musicals costing less than tickets to Finnish state-funded ones.

5) Did I mention a big percentage of the funding for Finnish arts comes from our state-owned betting agency? In practice, that means a big chunk of the arts funding comes from the pockets of poor people addicted to gambling. Seriously. 50% of the profit the agency makes comes from the most active 5% of gamblers, and almost 25% of the profit comes from people that have a gambling addiction. There is also some evidence suggesting the agency has deliberately been placing the majority of their slot machines in poor neighbourhoods. There is talk about dismantling this whole thing, but it’s a really difficult issue, since no one really has a realistic idea for an alternative way of funding the arts.

...and the more I think about this nasty circle of things I’ve written about above, the worse it makes me feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% for state-funded arts, and I 100% believe musical theatre is a form of art on par with any other. But the way the funding works right now, the way the biggest theatres keep increasing the prices and, thus, pricing everyone who’s not well-off out... It really makes me furious. My family has always been well-to-do, but I could not have had the experiences I’ve had earlier in my life if I was born ten years later. I would not have the money to see all the musicals I got to see as a teenager if I was a teenager now. (And then they wonder why young people don’t seem to be interested in theatre.)

Of course, I know that no one needs theatre to survive. It’s a good thing to have, but it’s not at a matter of life and death, far from it. And that’s another big thing I’ve been thinking about. This spring and summer, four months and counting without theatre, has shown me that personally, I truly do not need theatre to survive. If it’s not available, I’ll just do something else.

So now that certain theatre people have been giving these statements about the importance of the arts and making the audience trust going to the theatre again despite corona (which is... it’s such utter nonsense, it’s not in your hands if we get a second wave or not – if anything, reopening theatres makes it more likely we will – and if we do, nothing you do or say can make us “trust” going to the theatre since it will not be safe to do so and that’s that)... I just can’t help thinking, are you actually as essential to our society as you like to pretend you are? Are you actually offering a public, accessible service? (On top of all this, add the fun fact that only 50% of Finnish arts organizations that are required by law to have an equality plan actually have it, and you get a picture of how important being equal and accessible actually is for the arts in this country.)

And once you see this stuff, really see it, it’s really hard to unsee it and to go back advocating for Finnish musical theatre.

It’s like the big theatres are hearing the criticism that musicals should not be subsidized at all, and to debunk it, they do exactly what the critics have been saying they shouldn’t do. I do love a big musical production every now and then – but I super do not love getting one every single year in all the big theatres, if that means that prices will continue to rise, and that more and more people who don’t have a lot of money to spare can’t see musicals at all. I do love a Broadway musical every now and then – but I super do not love that in 99% of the cases, the people in charge don’t even consider the world of musicals that exists outside of Broadway. (I also hate the nonsense argument of pitting original Finnish musicals and Broadway musicals against each other, but that’s a rant for another day.)

And in the end, I feel like the Finnish theatre scene in general is out of touch with reality. We have things like climate change and inequality and whatnot going on in here, and for the most part, it seems like they do not even notice – or if they do, it’s an opportunity for them to look good, not to do good. Common enough in corporate world, sure, but for a field that prides itself for being so humane and essential to human survival... yeah.

Of course, I’ve been personally let down by certain aspects and people of the Finnish theatre world, which partially caused my burnout, which in turn has had some severe repercussions I keep battling with to this day. I’ll be the first to admit that this experience will probably always colour my views on Finnish theatre as a whole, and if everything had taken a different turn some years ago, I likely would not feel this bitter now.

But as it is, I’m going to live my life with the memory of that disappointment and the shadow of that burnout, and I don’t think they take away the validity of my criticism.

It just feels a bit rough. I’ve been trying to speak for Finnish musical theatre for a decade, I’ve cared about it deeply, and it’s given me plenty of happy memories too – so, to examine the whole system, and to end up with this deeply cynical outlook of it all... it’s a bit sad. I know losing interest in things you used to like can be related to depression and things like that – but what if this is not that, what if this is how I’d be feeling in any case?

It’s just a bit sad, I guess.

It’s not that there are no directors or actors whose work I’m interested in anymore, there certainly are, and there are exciting things coming up. It’s just... with everything I’ve mentioned above, and especially when you remember the ongoing pandemic, it doesn’t feel so important right now.

I actually feel a bit queasy thinking of going to theatre in the fall since it doesn’t feel 100% safe. I really need to think that through before I decide to go or not to go. I mean – I know the corona situation in Finland is looking very good right now, and maybe this is just the future we’ll be living in from now on, but at the same time, the chance of being the person who got sick because she went to see West Side Story or whatever... Yeah. Doesn’t sound too good, does it.

So yeah, just wanted to write all this out somewhere. I know the arts have been hit really hard because of corona, so I can’t really go around criticising them in public right now, even if they 100% deserve it – now is simply not the right time. But all this is making me feel so conflicted and confused, seeing how much of my own life has been and still is entwined with these things, and not knowing what to make of it all, not knowing how to reframe the place Finnish musical theatre has in my in my life and in my heart.

Thank you for reading. If you have any thoughts, I’d love to hear them.

#personal.