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#when most people graduating college still don't fully know

minhosimthings · 4 months

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Cherries

Symphony Smut Series Day 8: Lana del Rey's Cherries

Lyric: My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme, and all my black peaches are ruined

Pairings: Heeseung × fem!reader, strangers to friends to eventual lovers

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, loss of virginity, virgin!reader, sub!reader, dom!Heeseung, corruption kink, fingering, oral (f receiving), reader wears a dress, overstimulation, heeseung had a big dic, size kink, swearing, sorts of fluff too

A/N: GASP? TWO CORRUPTION KINK FICS? scandalous, Mona. but I just had to, cause apparently y'all like corruption a bit too much so have it ya beautiful people.

THE SYMPHONY SMUT SERIES MASTERLIST

Going to a college graduation party with a stranger you had met at the grocery store two weeks ago didn't exactly seem like the most perfect plan, but it was the only one you had.

But Heeseung somehow managed to make you feel better about it.

You had met him at your local grocery store, when he was taking the last blackberry pie. You coldly stalked off somewhere else, trying to find something to fullfill your sweet tooth, when the cute purple haired guy walked up to you shyly and handed you the pie.

"You were glaring daggers at me, so here you go." You remembered him saying, as he took a piece of Oreo cake from the shelf behind you.

One encounter led to the other and you and Heeseung somehow managed to bond over assignments, dumb teachers, and not being able to find dates for the end-of-semester party.

And as a chain reaction does, you miraculously got him to be your date for the party, which you really didn't have an appetite for.

He was a handsome man you had to admit, with the prettiest eyes and lips you could stare at and fullfill your hunger, how you wished to kiss those lips.

“oh, wow. you’re so beautiful.” Heeseung's eyes widen at the sight of you, your figure clad tightly in that little black dress, the fabric hugging your curves perfectly, providing him with a feast to his eyes.

"Please, you look better than me." You scoffed, looking at him in his jeans and white shirt, which was open at the top, exposing his neck. He was an actual meal, as your roommate would say.

The party was lame, lamer than any party you had ever been. And that was something to say, considering you had attended Jay's book party last year.

But it had turned better as the seconds ticked by, and now, you were laying naked on Heeseung's bed, as he leant over you, ghosting his lips against yours.

He was gorgeous, his hair falling slightly onto his face which was illuminated just right by the moonlight falling through the window.

"Do you want me to do this, princess?" Heeseung leaned back to look at you properly, his hands on your hips, his eyes almost filled with pity, "I won't do it if you don't feel comfortable."

It was almost pathetic to admit to Heeseung that you, a woman in her early twenties, had never fucked anyone. But he was more sympathetic than you had expected him to be, very philosophically explaining to you how 'virginity didn't deter a person's life', which made you laugh.

But then again, here you were, telling Heeseung to fuck you, so that you know what it feels like before you turn 21.

Your hands are on Heeseung's hips, fingers almost digging into the waistband of his jeans. You’re aware of the room's coolness and how the moonlight flickers on the side of Heeseung’s face, casting shadows of his features. He leans in to kiss you, his lips careful when they press themselves to yours. His hands are still holding your face like he’s afraid you’ll break or, worse, disappear. You kiss back fervently, not wanting to take a single second of contact with Heeseung for granted. He lifts your hips up, letting your legs wrap around him. He pulls away, momentarily, to look at your face.

“Relax princess,” Heeseung says, caressing your cheek, "I want you to relax for me alright?"

Your eyes fully conform to the darkness, seeing some of Heeseung’s features as he unfastens his shirt and rips it off his arms. He climbs over you, pushing up your dress over your thighs. Before you have time to protest, which you aren’t going to anyway, Heeseung kisses your bare cunt tenderly, softly letting his tongue glide up and down your slit before teasing your bundle of nerves. You mewl quietly, Heeseung's large hands splaying out on your thighs and holding them still so you don’t move.

"Ahh fuck Hee." You moan, feeling his tongue move inside you, something you hadn't ever felt. It felt good though, as he moves in and out.

He lets his tongue delve inside you, your warmth enveloping him. Heeseung picks up your thighs and pushes them against your torso so you’re spread open for him. His hands brace themselves on your shins as he laps up your arousal seeping from your entrance. You groan as his tongue circles your clit with your wetness before he sucks it between his lips. Heeseung slips two fingers inside you, your pussy taking them with ease. Your body is in tune with Heeseung and the shapes of his tongue, fingers, and cock. So much that you can take anything he gives you with pleasure.

This was pleasure like you've never felt before. Everyone had always told you that the first time would always be the best. You were starting to believe that myth now as your eyes were on Heeseung's.

He curls his digits inside you, caressing the spongy spot that drives you insane. Your hands fly to Heeseung’s curls to hold on as he sucks your clit desperately, pumping his fingers in and out of you. Adding a third, he stretches you out delightfully in preparation for his cock. Heeseung removes his fingers from you, licking them clean before lapping up your remaining arousal leaking from your hole, all stretched out and ready for him.

Heeseung keeps your knees pressed to your chest as he pumps himself a few times, spreading his precum along his length. He hovers over you and gives you a deep, passionate kiss. Heeseung, even though only a friend for some weeks, loves you more than anything, and he will prove it. As his tongue explores your mouth, he pushes his tip into you, and you moan into the kiss.

Heeseung pulls down the front of your nightgown and squeezes your exposed breasts as he continues to move inside you inch by inch. Bottoming out, Heeseung stays there, focusing on kissing your jaw and neck for a moment.

"Pretty girl." He muttered softly, pure affection on his voice, opening your legs even more to give his body enough space. He lined himself up to your cunt, gently pulling his foreskin down to rub the tip of his dick up and down your wet entrance, slowly going in until he's bottoming out again.

"Ah-ahh" you moaned, feeling Heeseung's cock split your walls open slowly. He felt big, really big, and he slid into your pussy so easily as if it was made for him and only him. His cock rubbed against your pussy's walls, making you whimper. That was the only thing you could get out of your mouth at the time.

"Are you okay?" He asked you gently, his hand slowly running up and down the length of your hair worriedly when he noticed the slight grimace on your face. Heeseung smugly knew he was big in every single way, and his cock was not the exception.

"I'm good, just— move, please." Feeling the stretch of his massive shaft was just as painful as you imagined, yet the pleasure that came from it couldn't be denied.

“Fuck sweetheart” he groans looking at the way his cock disappears inside of you. His neck straining as he holds himself back.

He builds up a pace, slowly going more and more intense as his thrusts get rougher, deeper, harder. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills his bedroom. You're thankful his roommate isn't home at the moment.

"Ah fuck you're so perfect." Heeseung moans. For some reason, he felt protective over you now, wanting you all to himself

"No one else gets to touch you like this." He growls out, sitting on his knees while his massive hands easily hold onto your hips, lifting you up with him while he pounded into you, your moans mixed with his as he used you like you were simply a fleshlight— compared to his massive frame, you are.

He moves your hips away as he pulls out, suddenly slamming himself all the way back in before you can protest. He drags a whiny moan out of you, pain and pleasure mixing as you can feel a familiar warmth building up in your stomach. He leans down, his breath hot against your ear as he mutters out pure nonsense. His voice sounds hotter than ever and you listen intently, dumbly nodding your head to his words despite not understanding him.

“S-shit baby, don’t wanna hurt you” he grunts, slowly pulling out and back halfway in. As he refuses to go deeper again, his eyes already rolling back as your tight velvet walls grip onto him. But you keep pulling him back, practically an animal for him

“Fuck Princess, so fucking tight” he whines.

“Jesus fucking Christ” Heeseung moans at the sight of you. Most girls would’ve cried in pain, he always needed at least an hour of stretching and foreplay to get half way in and yet here you are taking it.

“Ohh fuck- fuck- fuckkk fuckkk” you all but scream as you let go. You tremble under Heeseung’s body, face contorted, jaw slacked, drool dripping down your chin. It’s like you’re high and drunk at the same time.

“That’s it Princess Taking me so well.” he grunts. His eyes rolling back as he clenched his jaw and comes hard. Thick white ropes paint your velvet walls already dripping down to your ass. Your pussy too small to accommodate both his cock and cum.

“Shit” he heaves, slowly pulling out not trying to hurt you further.

"Did I hurt you?" Heeseung looks over to you wrapped up in his arms. He had cleaned you up all good, while you were still dizzy from all the overstimulation, and now Heeseung felt worried.

"That was the best thing I've felt in my life." You chuckle, easing his mood, "Thank you, Heeseung."

"You're welcome princess." Heeseung presses you closer, wanting to be with you even more, "Don't worry I'll take you out for a real date tomorrow."

Taglist: @ramenoil @mynameisniya150 @demigodmahash + whoever wants to be tagged, send an ask my way!

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itsharleystuff · 4 months

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╰─▸ 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

‘ I just wanna be one of your girls tonight ’

— 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Rockstar!Joel x afab!fem!reader (no outbreak alternative universe).

— 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 8.7k

— 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Your best friend’s boyfriend has an older brother that turned out to be the guitarist of a famous rock band from the 80s. You meet Joel by accident before his concert and things take an interesting turn.

— 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ content (minors dni!), age gap (Joel is 48, reader is said to be in college tho her age isn’t specified), sex, p in v sex, porn with barely any plot, sex with a “stranger”, a bit of dirty talk, oral sex (f), use of ‘slut’, praise, mirror sex, fingering, some oral (m), cum eating, reader calls Joel an ‘old man’, smoking (they share a cigarette), pet-names (sweetheart, darling, honey). Also, I know nothing about guitars or concerts so this is probably very inaccurate. This one’s roughly edited, forgive meee. No use of y/n.

— 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬: One of the girls - The Weeknd, Lily Rose-Depp, Jennie. Breakin’ dishes - Rihanna. Todas mueren por mi - Cartel de Santa.

Third-wheeling has now unintentionally become your most recurrent hobby since your best friend started dating Tommy Miller. Not that either of them minded, given that it was their idea.

Tonight was different, however.

"I could've been a part of it, y'know?" the man boasts, "I just didn't know how to play any instruments or how to arrange tunes... I have a nice voice, though. If that counts for anything."

Ary, your friend, giggles at his statement and replies with a comment that you didn't quite listen. Tommy's car stereo is currently blasting The Clashers' latest album— Joel Miller's rock band, that is. Two days ago, you had no idea who the eldest Miller was –only that he existed–, much less that he was the guitarist of a very popular 80s band. Now his brother is taking you and his girlfriend to their gig, to which he was given front row tickets. Nice.

Their music was actually pretty good, though some of the songs sounded more country than rock. Tommy explained that those were most definitely written by his brother, due to his love for the genre. Apparently, The Clashers have had a recent comeback with their newest album and a small tour, all after a long, undefined hiatus that went on for nearly a decade and a half. "Joel's fault", the younger Miller said, "he became a father. A single one, to top it off. But he's the best at it, don't ever doubt that."

"How old is he again?" you wonder, suddenly curious about the age gap between the siblings.

"Forty-eight. His girl Sarah just turned nineteen a couple months ago." You nod absentmindedly at the response.

You met Tommy almost a year ago, when Ary and you used to work at a cafeteria outside of Dallas' university. She'd graduated a few years ago, but needed money to pay her rent and coincidentally, you did too. You hit it off right away, becoming friends but also roommates in further time. Though you were still in college and she was a bit older, that never seemed to be an issue with your friendship or your schedules. Tommy came along shortly after, turning up every day at the café with his charisma and nice manners, making his intentions with Ary very clear since the beginning.

"D'you think there'll be a crowd?" your question makes her raise a brow quizzically.

"Most likely," she retorts thoughtfully. "Why? Are you regretting your own idea?"

Her boyfriend chuckles at that, knowing perfectly well how much you disliked loud, cramped places. It's not that you didn't enjoy this sort of events once in a while, but being someone who gets easily overwhelmed around people, you mostly prefer the sort of lay-back dates. Nevertheless, it was you who came up with this plan for today. With college giving you such a hard time and your colleagues being tremendous assholes lately, you needed something out of your comfort zone to fully unwind. Some action to pull you off the dull routine.

"Are you subtly implying that I'm a boring person?" you ask, falsely offended, crossing both arms over your chest. "Cause I swear I know how to loosen-up, I just need time to... Get used to it."

Tommy seems to be holding back laughter, but Ary doesn't even try to hide her amusement. "Girl, you're lucky I'm your friend, or else you'd be rotting in our local library," she scoffs.

You roll your eyes playfully, a smirk pursing your lips, "Yeah, cause that'll be such a tragedy. Who'd support you financially if I didn't study, huh?" you turn your head to her boyfriend. "Tommy?"

The man shrugs his shoulders, fighting against the urge to grin. "Oh, dear," she glances over her shoulder to look at you from the shotgun seat, bright smile painting her face. "Don't give him any ideas. He might just marry me."

✩ ° ｡⋆⸜ 🎧

Whilst Tommy went looking for a place to park, you and Ary walked to the nearest convenience store to grab some beverages. You were still running early anyway, which only meant a quick stop wasn't going to imply much trouble.

"I'll wait for you out here," with a head tilt, you silently indicate your friend to go ahead. "I need a cig."

She nods understandingly, "Want me to grab something for ya'?"

"No, I'm alright. Don't worry about it."

Ary stopped at the entrance to look back at you, staring intently for a weird extent of time, her eyes sparkling with joy. "Did I mention you look stunning?"

"You might've had, but that doesn't mean I don't love hearing it," the reply widened her smile. Once she went inside the store, you took a chance to peer at your reflection in the showcase.

This whole eighties vibe was certainly not something you were used to, but there was no denying how hot it made you appear. Aiming for a 'rockstar girlfriend' kinda look, you went for that smudgy, dark eye-makeup; as for the clothes, the mini skirt, low-cut bustier and oversized leather jacket paired with some nice boots kept the whole outfit together.

You blinked away, stunned by how confident you suddenly felt in your own skin. Chuckling to yourself, you started digging in your purse for a smoke. And as if the gods decided to toy with your faith, you luckily found a single one sitting at the very bottom; putting the filter between your lips, you then turned your bag upside down to search for the lighter, only to find that you hadn't brought it with you.

"Damnit," you spat in frustration, closing your eyes to picture in your mind where the last place you'd left it was.

Maybe it was next to your bed, on the nightstand; or perhaps in front of the stove... No, it definitely wasn't in the kitchen. The blurry image in the back of your head resembled more of a–

"Hey," a low, masculine voice called from beside you in a mellow tone, almost as if this mysterious man had a naturally sly nature but wanted to cool it down. "Need a light?"

He had a deep, soothing ring; raspy, profound and very southern-like. Frankly, you didn't know what you were expecting before setting your eyes on him, but it definitely wasn't a man such as he was. A wave of emotions washed over your body as you pried on him; big, broad, rugged and devastatingly handsome. Not to mention older than you— however, how much older is not a detail you care to find out. Your skin felt ticklish and warm, added to the sudden acceleration of your pulse.

First thing you noticed were his big brown eyes, shiny in sort of a childish way, regardless of the wrinkles that surrounded them when he politely simpered. You could tell he was a total heartthrob by the way his lips quirked and his head tilted downwards when addressing you.

He's thick in the arms and wide in the shoulders, something that was noticeable despite the black leather jacket he was wearing over a plain white t-shirt, tucked into a pair of worn-out denims. The cowboy hat on his head casts shadows upon his face but you're still able to make up his features: aquiline nose, strong jawline, soft lips under a styled mustache and a patchy, graying beard. Tall and handsome as hell.

"Yeah," you answer as soon as your mind allows you to, suddenly feeling your mouth dry when realizing you were staring. He bit back a smirk as he gauges at your reaction. "You've got one?"

"Lucky for you, I do." His left hand disappeared in the pocket of his jacket, taking out a simple red lighter. "I don't suppose you've got a cigarette to spare, do ya'?"

"Sorry," you frown apologetically, "this is my last."

He closed the gap between you, but instead of handing the lighter, he hunched down to lit the end of the dart still hanging from your lips, caging it with his big hand. And fuck, he smelled good. A mix of cedar and sandalwood, fresh and manly.

"No worries, doll." Dizzy with his presence, your eyes unconsciously bored into his. You can't move away, diving inside his pupils like you're hypnotized. "I'll just buy a pack for myself."

Caught up in that urge of keeping him near, you take the dart between your fingers and hear yourself say: "Unless you wanna share."

It was impulsive, not to mention irrational. Yet, all of the rational thoughts inside your brain had unforeseeably vanished in thin air, replaced by a strange need that rested in the pit of your stomach, a wicked desire that rushed through your veins like a drug. His brow shot up in surprise, giving you a subtle, pleased nod. He realizes there's something else behind your proposition, nothing that could be hidden with the way you're shamelessly looking at him.

"Let me guess," he commences, his calloused fingers brushing against your own when he takes the cig, orange end stained with your lipstick, "you're headed to the concert."

Your eyes squint with a crooked smile, "Are you that perceptive or am I just that obvious?" he takes a short drag, holding the fag with a nonchalant attitude and a mannerism that expressed experience.

"Bit of both," the shadows of smoke surround his face, hiding his features behind a thick, mysterious fog. "You've got that groupie vibe to ya'. The kind of girl that has her walls filled with boy-band posters," he jokes.

"Oh, is that it?" you ask playfully, mirroring his action to let the nicotine circle your system. "Cool it, cowboy. I ain't trynna get in trouble for fighting an old man."

He chuckles at your sarcastic remark and you can see the spark of a thin chain around his neck, along with the soft curls that gathered at his nape. Jesus, his side profile was divine.

"What's your name, darlin'?" he asks. You tell him, that southern drawl of his being more noticeable when echoing it. "You from around?"

"Yeah," you blow the smoke away from him, though he takes back the dart while you're at it. "Been here my whole life. You?"

He shakes his head lightly, "Austin. But I've been all over."

You can't help but smile inwardly, "That explains it."

"What thing?" the man asks with a certain intrigue.

"Nothing... You've just got that particular vibe." He's already laughing when you point at the cowboy hat, rejoicing in the way you played with his own words.

"I see that, groupie." He takes the almost consumed cigarette between his teeth and removes the hat from his head, running a hand through his soft curls. "Let's trade."

You watch in awe as he unexpectedly places the hat atop your own head. It sits well there and the way his eyes grow dark and his lips curve upwards can only mean he likes it too.

"What'cha think?" you inquire, slightly adjusting it.

"I think..." he eyes you up and down, ashing the cig with a tap of his index, "You should keep it. In exchange, I'll just take what's left of this lung-junk."

"Well, that doesn't seem like a fair trade," you cross both arms over your chest. "Isn't there anything else you want apart from that half-burnt smoke?"

His head tilts to the side as he meditates his answer, his chocolate hair now messy and a couple of those brown curls hanging loose across his forehead. For a moment, you're worried you might've sounded too raunchy for the occasion, but he looks pretty pleased. His eyes lock with yours and you feel your knees wobbly just from that undeniable tension that lingers in the air.

"I'll tell you what, sweetheart." Sweetheart. Damn, he's good. "Find me after the concert's over. You can repay me then with whatever you might find convenient."

Your brows crease at the scheme, curious, "How will I find you, though? I'm certain there'll be a lot of people."

He laughs darkly, like he knew something you didn't –which, to be fair, was probably true–. "Just ask for Joel. I'm sure someone will point you to the right direction."

Joel.

Joel...

Joel?

Could it be...?

"See ya' around, groupie." He sets off with a subtle head gesture, waving back at you.

Your mind was spinning so fast that you didn't even notice when Ary reappeared beside you, rambling something about a woman being annoying over the prices and fighting cashiers, too worked up to even notice your distraught— or your new acquisition.

✩ ° ｡⋆⸜ 🎧

The venue was crammed with people and there was a heady scent of pot all over the place, not unusual in these sorts of businesses. Thankfully, Tommy had arrived earlier to guide you through the masses.

"Here," he said, taking you and his girlfriend by the wrist. "We've got VIP seats, no need to go all the way down there." He pointed the barricade, where a ton of people were congregated to get the better spot.

The area in which you were located had a better view of the stage and was way more comfortable. Only till you finally sat down did Ary notice the new addition to your outfit.

"Did you buy that outside the store?" she wonders, sorta screaming to make herself heard over the mass. Tommy's eyes land curiously on you.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Funny," the man mumbles to himself, shaking his head lightly. "Very funny."

"What?"

"Well," he clears his throat and licks his lips nervously, "I just think it's funny that you'd get a cowboy hat in one of my brother's gigs."

Still in the shadows, you raise your shoulders to beguile him into spilling the details, "Why's that?"

Tommy taps his knee anxiously. "You see, when Joel was younger he'd often 'gift' his hats to any girl that would catch his eye. It was a way of... I don't know, making them one of his girls, you could say. By doing so, the other band members would see her and no one would dare to make a move."

His words fell upon you like an ice bucket. Joel, Joel, Joel. It just had to be the same Joel, because honestly, what were the chances?

Before you can retort, or even form an answer in your brain, the lights go out and the crowd bursts in cheers and shouting. But you can't for the life of you pay any mind to them, too focused on Tommy's story ringing in your ears. Seconds prior to the lights going on again, the sound of a single guitar key reverberated through the venue.

Did Joel Miller just mark you like cattle so no other man would approach you? Was that some kind of sick game he liked to play? If that were the case, you can't really say you're mad about it... Mostly thrilled, so to speak.

"So what would happen afterwards?" you asked, leaning to his ear, so you could make yourself be heard.

"Huh?"

"He'd make his move and then what?"

The man slightly winced as if you had just asked him the dumbest question in the book, "I think you know the rest."

You knew.

Of course you knew.

There's a voice saying "Goodnight, Dallas" and the spotlight is now on the five men standing on stage. You didn't even need to search for his image, your eyes immediately attaching to him like a magnet. A feeling of beguilement settles in your bones as you realize you've achieved that excitement you hoped to get tonight, at last.

Amidst chaos and loud screaming, he stood there in all his glory, perfectly aware of the impression his sole presence could cause. Messy brown hair, sun-kissed skin and that patchy, graying beard. Convenience store Joel turned out to be rockstar Joel.

The only thing that was different about his appearance were the dark aviator sunglasses that gracefully framed his face, a belt with a big, round buckle and the black Epiphone Wilshire guitar that was strapped to his shoulder with a sash. All of this new fashion somehow made him more physically appealing, if that was indeed possible. He looked like the type of man you'd rip off from a magazine and stick up in the corners of your vanity; the kind of star that girls and women would salivate over.

You could totally see the fascination and understand why it was easy for him to simply pick out someone he liked and take them back to his dressing room for a nasty time. Joel Miller was that guy.

In the back of your mind you register the fact that you're probably eye-fucking him whilst his younger brother and your best friend are both standing at your right. But you can't really help it— he was just so electrifying, such a magnetic force of a man. The whole world seemed to stop as the concert carried on, though you can only make out the melodies when you're far too distracted by Joel's charisma and mysterious air.

The way he moves on stage, too focused on his own act, fingers tugging at the strings and metal vibrating underneath his touch... It's fascinating how he makes it look easy and like a tremendous labour at the same time, pulling it all off with a wolffish smile on his face. The other band members had their own charm too, but your preference was undeniable.

They played the songs that you had been previously listening to, and the fact that they're being played live just amplifies the feeling of intimacy regarding the lyricism and musicality. Songs that talk about life's hardships, love, heartbreak and carnal desires. They all just hit different.

Towards the end of the concert, Ary started feeling dizzy, the amount of people and sudden dehydration giving her signs of a posible migraine. She tried not to say anything for the sake of your fun, realizing just how much you're enjoying yourself tonight. But at the end she truly couldn't, deciding to tell Tommy she needed to step back for awhile and go get some fresh air.

"I should go with her," you said in concern. His boyfriend shook his head and patted your shoulder.

"I'll go. You can stay if you want to, just call me if something feels off and I'll be back in a sec," he said reassuringly.

It took a few seconds to agree, although you eventually did. The event was almost over anyways. "Tell me if anything happens."

"F'course."

You watch as he leaves behind her with a certain remorse in your gut. The Clashers play three more songs afterwards, turning out to be much more emotional and heartfelt than you could've expected.

One by one, every single band member thanked the audience before the lights went out completely and the crowd stopped their clapping and cheering.

In order to avoid getting stuck at the exit from the people storming out, you decided to stay back and wait. You intended to reach your friend via message, sending a short "everything alright?" that did not deliver due to the awful signal. Only then did you start to grow nervous and more worrisome.

"Excuse me," out of nowhere, one of the security guards called for you when no one else was around –aside from the scattered people that had the same idea as you did–; a tall man with a 'staff' pin on his shirt. He asked for your name, but something about the way he worded the question made you believe he already knew it. "You've got a backstage invitation."

"A backstage invitation?" You tried holding back laughter. "From whom?” your eyes narrowed at a new clue. “Wait... Did Tommy meet up with Joel?"

The staff member furrowed his brows in surprise, "You came here with Miller's brother?"

"Huh? Yes... Isn't that why you approached me?" the stranger gave you a kind, slightly embarrassed smile.

"No, but you should come with me. Joel's in fact the one that asked."

"Oh..."

So, it was him after all.

'Someone will point you to the right direction', turned out to be quite literal.

You agreed to follow the guard. Maybe Joel could just reach Tommy and tell him you were fine. Although that'll mean you'd have to explain how you two had met. Well, shit... It’s not like it was a bad thing, right?

✩ ° ｡⋆⸜ 🎧

Backstage dressing rooms tend to be different depending on the facility where an event is held. In this case, there were rooms with the artist's names hanged on them and a handful of people moving around, spitting orders and following instructions. Everyone was so involved in their own affairs that no one really seemed to notice you, specially standing next to the security guy, who knocked twice on the guitarist's door.

It didn't take long before he appeared before you, that post-concert glow brightening up his features. His cocky smirk told you just how certain he was that you'd end up here eventually and how glad he was for it. You gave a quick nod to the man that guided you here and he disappeared just as quick as he came.

"Hey there, groupie."

"Joel." Your lips unconsciously curved, too. "I believe I owe you something." His hair was ruffled and the sunglasses rested atop his head, looking better up-close than he did on stage.

"Wanna come in?" the question sounded so genuine and innocent, it almost made you believe there wasn't a meaning behind it... Yet, you knew; you were both aware.

"Sure, but-" there was something you had to tell him... God, he smelled good— what was it you had to tell him? "Won't they scold you for having me here?"

His dressing room was fairly spacious, with a small leather couch, a coat stand with a couple of jackets and shirts hanging. His guitar rested on the corner, tucked inside its case; facing the couch was some kind of vanity where celebrities could get their makeup done, the lights around the mirror reflected a warm light.

"Don't think so, darlin'. I'm way too old for a scolding," he joked, closing the door behind you.

The very moment you were left alone, away from any prying eyes, the air shifted entirely; as if this whole space was your own private setting. That same feeling you experienced outside the store somehow crawled under your skin once more, adrenaline rushing through your veins in a crushing expectation.

"Did you enjoy the show?" you nod distractedly.

"I did. But I ain't gonna lie, it was a total shocker to find out that the hot guy I'd just met was actually a part of the group." Joel's eyes gleamed with an unfamiliar simplicity that invited you in and provided a certain comfort.

"I wish I could've seen your face," he retorted, his voice smooth and low.

"Why?" you bicker, "So I could further boost your ego? No, thanks."

He chuckles softly, his eyes squinting to reveal the tiny wrinkles that form around them; a sign that he's always been the type to laugh without remorse. Those are the small details that make him even more attractive in your perspective.

You lean against the makeup board, giving your back to the mirror and crossing both arms over your chest. The heel of your boots had started to feel uncomfortable, so you placed one leg across the other to shift some of the weight whilst his gaze followed your every move intently; the unfathomable depth of his eyes stirred something inside you, an urge to unleash your impurest thoughts.

"You've got quite an attitude, don't ya', groupie?" the man questions with humor. "But I'm pretty sure you just called me hot, so, either way, my ego was boosted," he pointed out smugly.

"Joel," you click your tongue, subtly shaking your head. "I bet there's tons of women saying that about you, and there's no doubt in my mind that you’re aware of it already."

That could not be denied. Throughout his life, Joel had always been aware of his charm and good looks, which eventually brought him popularity amongst the group. After having Sarah, he saw himself forced to tone down the amount of affairs and adventures he'd have, specially as a single father, always trying not to get his daughter's hopes high if she saw him with someone.

Honestly, despite him being back on track with the 'celebrity' lifestyle, he still wasn't planing on keeping up with his old tricks of bringing women backstage and giving them something to gush about with her friends. He really hadn't gotten involved with anyone during the tour until now... And it wasn't something he'd intended to do either. Everything happened so spontaneously, the way you two sort of bonded and just met out of the blue. Joel's goal wasn't any of this at first, he merely thought of how gorgeous you were and how comfortable he felt in your presence.

However, logic and good sense abandoned him the minute your eyes gaped at him; dark and alluring, with a spark in them that he could not escape, an intriguing verve that entranced him and crept under his skin. From that moment forward, he could only think about you while being on stage, hoping to catch a glimpse of your skin amongst the crowd but having to settle with the fresh image of you on his mind: your confident mannerisms, your striking smile and how good your legs looked in that mini-skirt. He tried to put on his best performance just to impress you.

"Yet, your perception of me is the only one I currently care about," he declares, taking a few decided steps towards you.

You beam, keeping your head held high, "I gotta give it to you, Joel. The hat thing, your whole performance... Very clever."

He's taken aback by your words, surprise written all over his face. "What d'you mean?"

"Come on, Joel," you reply with a roughish grin. "You really thought I wouldn't hear all about your schemes? Oh, here I believed I was special," you joke.

The man gets rid of that 'respectful' distance that kept you apart, slowly making his way to you, exuding that perpetual arrogance he naturally carried and never breaking eye contact. You returned the same energy; piercing his soul with those siren eyes, barely tilting your head back to expose your throat and unhooking your arms to give him a better sight of your breasts. Intentional or not, those little details were driving him insane.

"You are special, sweetheart," he murmurs, emphasizing the second word. "All of my girls are."

He was quite close now, his scent dazing your senses and the warmth of his body, plus that southern drawl of his, formed goosebumps on your skin. With boosted confidence, you reach out to softly grab the lapels of his jacket. You wait for him to push you away, scold you or react negatively... though he never does. Instead, his eyes fall from yours to your lips, licking his own distractedly. You motion to remove the shades form his head and place his hat back on, adjusting it lightly. In the meantime, you take your time to run your fingers through his hair, drag them along his jaw, feel the raspy sensation of his beard scratching your fingertips.

"S'that so?" you whisper, your breath fanning across his cheek. "You know what I want...?" His eyelids shudder, a muscle twitching on his neck as you lean to pour the next words into the shell of his ear. "I just wanna be one of your girls, Joel Miller..."

Those words have an immediate effect on him, his eyes darkening with blown away pupils. Your hand lowers to his chest, conscious of the strength with which his heart was beating, the heat of his feverish skin there where you touched him. His palms land on your hips, caressing the covered skin as they make their way to your waist.

"We'll see 'bout that, darlin'," he hushes, cupping your face with his right hand to keep you steady, restrain your control over him. His face is barely inches away from yours, practically breathing each other in. "You know what's gonna happen now, don't you?"

You gulp in suspense, eyes glued to his lips, waiting, wishing he'd just kiss you. "Yes..."

"Good," Joel's thumb swipes across your bottom lip, slowly coaxing your mouth open. "Is this what you want?"

You can barely muster up the courage to speak, nearly falling from the tension. "Please..."

"Mmm..." his nose rubs against yours and your eyes close instinctively. "That's not an answer, sweetheart."

Your hands fist on his shirt, desperate to touch him. "Yes, Joel."

"That's my girl," he praises, effectively creating a pool of arousal that smothers your underwear. But you've barely got any time to process it before his lips are finally on yours.

The kiss knocks the air out of your lungs, his plump lips molding against yours. Your fingers play with the curls at the base of his neck, your nails scratching his skin deliciously. Everything feels hot all of the sudden, the need to get rid of your jacket latent on the edges of your body. Joel holds your waist and quickly sits you fully on top of the board, making you squeal from the abruptness of the action; this way he can settle himself between your legs and flush his chest to yours. His lips never part from yours, swallowing down any noise that escaped your mouth.

The coarse fabric of his jeans feels rough against your exposed skin, his hands coming to grab the back of your thighs, sliding them beneath the hem of your skirt as you wrap your legs around his waist. The kiss is breathy and intense, you taste him when your tongue drags inside –a mix of mint and cigarettes–, your teeth crashing when he tries to assert his dominance by pulling your body closer to his. Your perfume, sweet and floral, lingers around him in a way that makes him want you even more. When he slowly licks your lower lip, you moan faintly and the sound makes him throb.

His fingers splay on your asscheeks, prodding you to feel the weight of his hardening cock against your inner thigh, consequently setting a fire in your lower belly. You catch his grunt in the kiss, the feeling of his mustache tingling on your skin whilst you grind your hips just to experience that friction once again, relishing in the familiar sensation of your arousal spilling into your panties, wet and warm. And fuck, part of you doesn't believe that this man is hard for you. Joel suddenly backs away, just enough to stare blankly into your eyes, casted with desire, and regain a bit of composure.

"Not a word about this, 'aight?" something you had figured he'd state sooner or later.

"Yes, sir. It'll be our dirty little secret," you grin right as he whispers a goddamnit.

Before he pulls you in for another heated kiss, you struggle to take your jacket off, taking your phone out of the pocket and hastily throwing it to the floor as he mimics your action. Joel uses this moment to fully take in the sight of you; the way your tits sit perfectly in that top, chest rising and falling from drawing ragged breaths, your exposed neck and shoulders, flushed skin ideal for him to nip at and trace with his lips. So he does just that.

He ghosts your mouth, towering over you but ignoring the need to reattach your lips to his. Alternately, he gently kisses your chin, making his way down your throat and between your collarbones. You're a panting mess under his touch, trying to keep yourself collected for the sake of not getting caught, yet failing when his teeth sank onto the pillowy flesh of your breast. You audibly gasp, holding onto his arm for dear life; though he simply huffs a laugh that vibrates through you.

"Don't worry, darlin'. In here, you can be as loud as you want to," he assures.

Joel descends to his knees in front of you and the image is far too erotic for you to hold back a whimper. He coaxes your knees farther apart, your denim skirt hunched up around your hips so he can peek at the red lace of your underwear. He grabs your calf and places a kiss to the side of your knee, looking up at you hungrily.

"Should we take this off?" he taps on your boot, calloused fingers tracing random patterns on your leg.

"Let's keep them on," you say, your hand stroking his cheekbone. "I want to wear them when I come on your cock."

His eyes glint with lust, "Fuck..." he rumbles, almost pained. "Who would've thought a pretty girl like you would have such a filthy tongue."

You can't help but smirk as his lips roam upwards, "You think I'm pretty?"

His gaze scorches with intensity, both his hands languidly sliding up your sides till his fingers hook on the edge of your panties, pulling them down your legs to take them off, "I think you're beautiful," he murmurs amidst. Your heartbeat hammers in your ears at the time he leans into the apex of your thighs, one of his brows quirking up at the sight of glistening slick sticking to your swollen skin.

"Poor thing," he coos, taking off the hat like a cowboy who's worked his whole shift and comes home to eat the best dinner he's ever had, placing it beside you. "You're so sensitive, baby..." you inhale sharply when he lays a teasing kiss on your inner thigh. "Been a while?"

You nod, though even if it has been a while since the last time you slept with someone, you're certain that most of your responsiveness falls onto Joel's doing. He tsked, shaking his head in the meantime and using his thumb to barely spread your folds. Your eyes look at him beneath heavy lids, lips parted as his mouth explores the area, his breathing tickling the sensitive skin.

"I'll take care of you, sweetheart."

Without warning, his tongue darts out to lick the slick around your entrance, ravishing on the sweet taste of your juices. Your fingers thread through his curls, swallowing hard at the new sensation. He takes his time with you, leisurely allowing your wetness to gather on his tongue, his nose nudging at your clit when he moves his head a certain way. It all makes your brain spin, overcome by the pleasure you're experiencing, actually permitting you to loose your cords and spill uninhibited whimpers that only egged him on.

"Shit, you're doing great..." you can feel his smile against your dripping core.

"You just taste amazing, darlin'," he's not lying. Joel's enjoying himself far too much as he buries his tongue between your folds, holding you tighter. "So fucking good..."

The back of your mind registers the brief pain of his fingertips digging in your flesh, thinking it may bruise in the morning. The other part can't even form a rational thought. You moan his name, calling out for something to ground you; but he's just as gone, if not way worse. Joel is bewitched by the headiness of you, clogging his senses entirely. It's been so long since he gave head, but he doesn't remember it like this— like he couldn't get enough, so eager to make you feel good, to hear those pretty sounds spill from your mouth.

"Oh my god..." you mewl when his lips close around your puffy clit, gently flicking his tongue over it whilst you run your hands through his locks.

He flattens his tongue against the bundle of nerves, tracing delicate circles that make your whole body shudder. You're messily dripping all the way down to the wooden surface as he selfishly alternates his attention between your aching bud and your hole.

"Look at you, honey," he mumbles, voice laced with desire. "Doin' so good for me."

His fingers swipe across your slit, making you squirm. "Joel, please-"

"I know, baby, I know..."

Though when he's about to dive in again, you catch the light of your phone through your peripheral vision: an incoming call. The ID read the name 'Tommy <3'.

Tommy???!!!!

"Shitshitshit," you quickly reach for the device, swiping the green button and muttering a wary wait to the man before you. Joel simply gawks at you with intrigue, the pads of his fingers still roaming around your core. "Hello?"

On the other side of the line, Tommy says your name with utter relief, "Thank god. I left you a thousand messages. Are you okay?"

More than okay. Your brother's tongue was inside my cunt just a few seconds ago, actually.

Obviously you can't say that.

"Uh... Yeah, everything's fine." You clear your throat, trying to mask the gasp that threatened to escape when Joel started rubbing tender circles on your clit. "The signal's just really bad."

"Yes, I noticed," he mutters, a bit frustrated. "Should I go get you? There's still plenty of people at the entrance and I don't want you to get lost."

"No- no..." you have to bite your bottom lip in order to muffle the unholy moan you were about to slip out. The bastard had just sinked one finger inside you experimentally, watching your face contort in pleasure as he reached for that particular spot. "I- have... Is Ary alright?"

"She took a pill and is knocked out in the backseats of my car right now," you can practically hear his smile as he speaks. "But... Are you sure you're okay? You sound... Agitated."

That was a way of putting it.

Joel is a greedy, jealous man. He wants all your undivided attention and will make sure to let you know. He decides to add a second finger, watching your eyes screw shut and your mouth gape as he curls them, your slick covering all the way to his knuckles.

"Yes, I met with a friend-" you tug at his hair hard enough to make him groan, his cock twitching with interest. "She's taking me home."

Your thighs start quivering and your body feels hot all over, an abrasive feeling of bliss rushing through every single nerve ending. You're close, and judging by the way you clench around his fingers, he knows too.

"Oh... Well, in that case just let me know once you get home. Please?" You think you answer, but you're not entirely sure. The call ends and your phone slips from your hand.

"Joel, I can't..." you whine when his lips latch to your nub once again, his fingers still working you open.

"Yes you can," he vows. You clutch at his curls with enough strength to work him up. "You're a big girl, you can take it."

And it's right then, when he repeatedly hits your g-spot, licking and sucking at your delicate clit, that your hips get a mind of their own, barely kept in place by Joel's strong grip on your hip. The coil finally snaps. You're not sure what you say, what words fall from your mouth... But they do dawdle on his mind. You shake from the magnitude of your orgasm, muscles starting to relax as Joel licks up every drop of your release, absolutely lost in the sweet taste of you. Your grasp on his hair loosened as he rose to his feet, letting you catch your breath.

He's on edge, his voice a hoarse rumble when he spoke. "Didn't anyone tell you," his left hand came up to brush his fingertips over your lips, "how rude it is to answer phone calls when this pretty pussy of yours is getting eaten?”

You lick your lips nervously. "I'm sorry..." he hums in response, "I'll make it up to you."

There's no time for him to reply since you crash your lips to his once again, frenetically searching to feel his weight pressed on top of you for a second time. This kiss is messy, rushed and needy. You can taste yourself in it as he pushes his tongue past your teeth.

Amidst the fuss, your hand snakes between your bodies to tug at his belt, fumbling to pop his pants open. Once you do, you can feel how warm and heavy his cock is, rock hard beneath your touch. He hisses at the flick of your wrist, moving up and down his length over the thin fabric of his boxers. Joel rests his forehead against yours to even his breaths, his chest heaving with a lustful sigh.

"Fuck," he grumbles, swiftly manhandling you so you're facing the mirror. His hand holds your face for you to stare back at your own reflection. "Aren't you a sight to behold?"

And you're certain that for a man like him, those words couldn't be truer. Sweat beads around your neck and sticks a couple hairs to your temples, eyes teary in the corners and lipstick smeared from the make out. Here and there your skin displays signs of his presence, part of you wishing they'd stay there till the next morning. If there was an accurate way to describe how you looked, that'll be wrecked.

"You should see yourself, Miller," you smirk, gesturing in his direction. His eyes reflected a prurient nature that added to his sex appeal, hair messy from your doing and an eager expression that gave him a downright pornographic aura. "Not bad for an old man."

His lips caress the back of your ear, hands driving the denim skirt farther up your hips. You cling to the edge of the work desk, making an effort to stand up in your weak knees, chills running down your spine when he gently nibbles at your earlobe.

"So much for not wanting to boost my ego, huh, sweetheart?" his gruff voice is both soothing and stirring, making all the blood rush straight to your pussy.

He parts your legs, spreading them with his knee and forcing you to bend forward a little. Your head turns to peek behind your shoulder, his every move being closely monitored by you, eyes widening when you finally fathom the sheer size of his cock. Your lower body pulsates with anticipation, another wave of arousal sticking to the inside of your thighs.

"Holy fuck-" you ramble as you watch him expertly roll a condom on his length. He's long and visibly thick, a prominent vein running from base to tip; your mouth waters just from the idea of wrapping your lips around it. "Shit..."

"Don't be getting all shy now, honey. Tis' what you wanted, then you're getting it," he rasps, lining himself between your legs.

"M'not shy," you retort, staring back at him through the mirror. "Was just thinking about how badly I wanted to blow you."

Joel stifles a groan, his hands snaking to your front to pull down the top and expose your tits. There was no need to wear a bra with a bustier, which you were glad for, cause it made it easier for him to pinch the peaked buds of your nipples. The head of his cock glides across your folds, coating it with the slick that keeps dribbling each time he bumps against your clit or makes you watch as he gropes your breasts.

"You talk like a slut." Your cheeks soared red and your pussy fluttered at the name-calling. The heat of his body on yours was simply intoxicating, making it difficult for you to think. "Is that how you want me to fuck you?" he whispers in your ear, nudging his cock at your entrance but not quite going in yet. "Nice and hard until I make an absolute mess out of you? Mmm?"

You nod, "Yes, god- yes. Please, Joel..."

He takes that plea as his cue to press himself inside you, slow and steady, allowing your body to adjust to the intromission. Your mouth falls ajar, nails scratching the wood under your fingers, vaguely squirming at the sharp sting of the stretch.

"That's it, takin' my cock so well," words of encouragement fall hoarsely form his lips like a chant and your body willingly melts into his. "See? I knew you could take it."

His thighs plunge to yours when he bottoms out at last, letting out a few pants and groans, his fingers pushing stray hairs out of your face. You can feel him jerk inside you, your walls enveloping his girth tightly, a wave of pleasure licking his spine at the feeling. He doesn't waste any more time, finding a pace of his liking as soon as he started moving and being relentless with it. The way his neck chain hits your shoulder blades with each thrust, the scrub of his beard when he kisses your temple and the dirty praises that he murmurs in your ear, somehow make the situation grounding; like it's really happening and you're not dreaming about it.

As Joel cradles you in his arms, your hand skirts to his nape in order to bring him in for a kiss. Each roll of his hips is calculated, deep and unswerving, knowing exactly how and where you liked it, studying your reactions. When he kisses you, he does so earnestly, almost affectionate in contrast to the rhythm in which his dick drags inside you– but it's short, the need for oxygen overpowering both. At this point, not even your stilted whimpers and his soft moans can mask the lewd sound of your squelching pussy or the sporadic noise of skin slapping against skin.

"Good fuckin' slut," he locks your jaw in place, pushing you to keep eye contact with your own reflection. "Sneakin' behind your friend's back to get fucked by a stranger –shit– an 'old man', nonetheless..."

Your stomach tenses each time the head of his cock grazes that sensitive spot within you, legs shaking at the way he speaks to you. Through the mirror, you see the way his thumb digs into your cheek, his hand cupping your breast as he twists your nipple in his fingers and the worst of all: that haughty fucking smile that suited him perhaps too damn well.

"I always did like them older," you utter, out of breath.

He chuckles darkly, heftily, letting his hand coast down your abdomen and reach your clit to tease it while he takes you from behind. The feeling was so intense that all you could do was claw at his bicep and let a hushed whine slip past your lips, knowing that a second orgasm was approaching faster than you had expected.

"Fuck, Joel- It feels so good..." your moans are like music to his ears, a syrupy melody that he wants to maintain on replay.

The way your pussy clenches around him, squeezing his length with every push, has his head fuzzy with sheer pleasure. And god- you look beautiful coming undone for him. No; because of him. He sees you looking at him through the reflection, pupils dark with an obscure desire, feels your cunt soak him every time he tells you how good you are, with each sound he makes just for you.

"I'm so close-" you warn, white sparks blurring your vision at the building of your crescendo.

"C'mon, come for me," he purrs, skillfully teasing your nub. "Wanna feel it— oh fuck, wanna feel you live up to your promise..."

Joel fucking whimpers, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck as he pulls your hips to meet his pace. The sound is so enticing that it throws you off, wanting to engrave it in your mind. Your thighs waver and your back arches, an overwhelming sense of euphoria partaking your body. "I've got you, let me hear you," he fucks you through it, slowing down but never losing precision. "Right there, you did so good..."

In your state of frenzy, you feel his cock throbbing inside you, his grip on your body tightening: the classic telltale of his own climax looming. Through it all, with your heart thumping so loud that it's almost deafening, you blurt out a dulcet: "Come in my mouth..."

God help him.

He nearly loses it right then and there.

"As you wish," he sighed, his deep voice raspy with passion.

But he's an indulgent man, so he musters up the strength to pull out and snatch the condom away, throwing it to the trash can. You fall to your knees with no hesitation, arms stretching to reach the outline of his hips. Joel guides the ruddy head of his cock to your lips, spreading precome all over them before you fully take him in your mouth. You suck him earnestly, focusing on the tip and tracing the vein on the underside of his dick. He's so worked up that it doesn't take him long to start panting; head thrown back and hand grabbing firmly the back of your neck.

Your gaze stick to his, knowing perfectly the power of looking into his eyes. You love the taste of him, musky and strong; all man. All you can think of right at this moment is how you want more, so much more of him.

"Perfect," he slurs through gritted teeth. "Perfect girl."

You can't contain the hum that reverberates through him, pushing him over the edge whilst you massage his balls. A deep, guttural groan claws its way from his throat, hips stuttering and thighs trembling as he comes in thick, hot spurts down your throat. You swallow instantly, not thinking much about it and stroking his shaft unhurriedly until he's whimpering from overstimulation; though he doesn't tell you to stop or pushes you away, letting you work him up to the time of your choice. Once you're content, you straighten your posture and rearrange your top, roughly registering when he tucks himself back in his pants.

"You okay?" he asks, helping you get on your feet. His thumb swipes around your lips and chin to clean the smeared lipstick, a sweet concern dithering in his eyes.

“Feelin’ great,” you say with genuine joy, pulling your skirt downwards and grabbing your panties from the floor, laying next to your jacket and his guitar. “Thank you.”

“I should be the one thanking you,” he lends you a hand in putting your jacket back on. “It’s been a while since I’ve… Uh, well, you get it.”

You turn to face him, beaming radiantly. Gosh, you’re stunning. He’s certain he won’t forget those mesmerizing eyes of yours.

“Joel, let’s be honest with each other…” your hands shot up to caress his cheek and thread at his curls. You don’t believe him one bit. “We’ll meet again. You know we will.”

You didn’t really mean it, merely wanting to make an impression. But there was a minuscule possibility that your paths would cross for a second time; after all, you did know his brother. Though you never mentioned that. Deep down, you were scared that he wouldn’t want to make a move if he knew of that connection— specially after seeing Tommy’s reaction when he saw that hat on your head.

“Hope that’s true, groupie.”

Joel insists on calling his chauffeur to take you home, arguing that it was past midnight and it was dangerous to take a cab. Eventually, you let him, making a quick stop to the bathroom to set things right with your appearance. He waits for you patiently, the cowboy hat presented to you as a gift when you walked out.

“Keep it,” he sways, “as a little souvenir for if we don’t end up meeting again. Besides, it suits you better.”

“Won’t you have another pretty girl to gift it to?” he rolls his eyes at your inquiry.

“I can always buy more,” he laughs. “I want you to remember I sent you home sore and aching each time you look at it.”

You giggle, getting on your tippy toes to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Don’t worry, Miller. I’ll be thinking ‘bout it… About you. That’s a promise.”

And he truly hopes you mean it.

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whereserpentswalk · 2 months

Text

When you met your girlfriend in college she was studying to be a wizard. It didn't suprise you that much, there were a lot of magic majors at your school, and the city that your college is in has a lot of companies that hire wizards.

As time went on you started to realize she was become a very specific type of magic user. Her spells are long, taking yo hours of her time, longer then any other major user you know, and they're draining. She says she's always been interested in magic since when she was a kid, but this particular type of magic isn't something anyone gets into because they find it exciting, it's the type of magic you get into because it pays the most. You understand why she chose this, it's hard for wizards, for anyone really, to find work nowadays.

Your apartment isn't very big so you can hear her trying her spell from the other room every time, straining herself, sometimes screaming, spending the weekends of her youth alone in a closest trying to pull off these impossible spells, with purposes that normal people don't even care about. When you told two freinds you have who are wizards from diffrent specialties of magic, necromancy and illusion, what kind of spells she was doing, they became really afraid for her, and said that they hoped she transfered to a diffrent specialty before she was locked into this path. Every time you hear her screaming from that room you want to grab her and save her, let her rest and enjoy her world, but you know that you can't.

It gets worse once you graduate and while you start working as an artist, she gets hired on by a big company that could use wizards like her. You don't leave the city you went to college in so your freind group doesn't really change, but you realize that all of your freinds start talking about her in the past tense after that. You don't have to deal with hearing her funnel magic though herself in your apartment anymore, but instead you're spending days not really seeing her when she's at the office, and comes home later then you're asleep.

When you do see her, you notice her body getting worse. She was always skinny but now her body has lost so much weight you can see her ribs. Her skin is paler then it ever was before, and her eyes are almost bloodshot. Strange symbols even start appearing on her arms. You're starting to get really worried for her.

Most of the time you spend with her is just her recovering from her work. You'll lay with her in bed, and cuddle her, and let her rest her head on your breasts, and try to make her feel safe and warm, even though her body is so very cold now. You let her talk to you about the things she used to tell you about when she first met, she still loves telling you about video games, or obscure magic lore, though the latter is a bit more of a sore subject now. You watch cartoons with her a lot now, and old anime, they seems to be some of the only things that let her fully escape.

You have to be the one to cook for her, and to get her things, she's just to tired to do most things outside of work. But you still care about her, you try your best to comfort her, to pet her head, and to kiss her. She can't really have sex with you anymore, the spells have killed her libido, killed her ability to her physically aroused, but you end up wanting to cuddle her a lot, and hold her close while you have her. You try to ask if she's ok but she says that she is, that she can't stop doing this. Every time she leaves for work you want to save her, and every time she leaves she can't.

When you ask your other wizard freinds about what she's actually doing with her magic, to try and get some comfort about what's happening, they explain to you what it is. It's a type of magic their teachers taught about but warned agaisnt, that has to do with letting spirits and entities from other realms, sometimes really powerful ones, possess you for a long time, useally to talk and answer question. The necromancer specifically explains that it's useally used by companies to get knowledge about things that they want to know for their business strategies, it's why they pay so much for someone to be hurt like that. Knowing doesn't make you feel any better, it just makes you feel like she's being even more violated now.

Eventually your girlfriend tells you that she got another job opportunity out west, but it's somewhere she doesn't want to see you stuck living. She tells you to stay in the city, and that she'll text you and call you while she deals with this new job. She barely ever gets any chances to text while she's out there, and never calls. She's just able to communicate with you less and less, until she's fully gone.

You're working as an artist in the city now. You have a new partner. You sometimes think about what your old girlfriend is doing, you like to pretend that she got out of everything, that she doesn't talk to you because she found someone new. But you know that in reality very few people in that field actually make it out, and very few manage to stay fully human, it's quite unlikely she's any different.

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mr-jaybird · 3 months

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actually, reblogging that post about not looking down on community college makes me want to talk about my experiences and career to show like look. you don't have to do what your high school guidance counselor said was best

at 19 (august birthday), i went straight from high school to a four year college. i did really well academically but my mental health was BAD and after two years admin insisted i leave to receive treatment. straight up would not let me be at school anymore (undiagnosed bipolar is a bitch)

at 21 i dropped out and worked for $7.25/hr at starbucks and also got mental health treatment (and meds!!!). at 22 i went back to school at community college part time and knocked out some gen eds (and also a couple classes just for fun, like theater)

at 24 i went to a different 4 year school. i changed my major (to psych), did three years there and graduated with an excellent gpa and extensive research experience (i busted my ass there, and since i took time off to get healthy, it went a lot better!). since i'd knocked out most of my gen eds, i got to concentrate on classes i cared about. my last year i was a part time student and worked as a paid research assistant more extensively, and did a honors thesis. i also taught myself the basics of programming my last year

i graduated at 26 and got my first programming and data science job (in fintech, blegh). it was terrible. my degree was largely unrelated and they didn't give me any training. they also expected constant unpaid overtime. i was just trying to hang in there and make enough to pay my rent. i actually was struggling so much i almost got fired. i had something of a nervous breakdown but stayed there long enough (18 months) to get a better job in the same field

at 28 i went back to the tech side of public mental health health (yay! and my degree is sorta relevant again). i worked for government. their tech stack was...less than corporate, and i was pretty bored. but i did really well there since i was overqualified! but they wouldn't promote me because i had the "wrong" degree :(

i was planning to leave that job because of no upward mobility when i was invited to apply for my current job, which is the head of data science for a public mental health lab at a public ivy university. they had heard of me from my boss's boss at my government job (networking!). i got that job just before i turned 30. my first year there was really stressful because of the neglect of my predecessor. i had another nervous breakdown. but this job was cool about my mental health and gave me a paid leave and i was able to fully recover and come back and thrive. i love what i do now and at 31, i'm getting a significant promotion from where i was when i started here!

the point of all of this is, i did a lot of things people think are "wrong". i took gap years, i dropped out, i changed my major, i went to community college, i had the "wrong" major, i had to take mental health leaves, etc etc. but i'm still successful and happy with my career! when i was working at starbucks and sleeping on a friend's air mattress i thought i'd be there forever. you never know what might happen in the future (good or bad).

if you can avoid having 3(!) nervous breakdowns in a decade that's better than i've done. but listen: i've failed. i've fucked up. i've been kicked out of school and almost fired and i've come back from it! i had to go on a mental health leave from my current job and they are still really happy with everything i've done there (now i'm just working on doing it in a way that's more sustainable). you don't have to be a perfect person to do well.

and seriously, community college saves a ton of $$$ and no one has ever cared i knocked out my gen eds there. you don't have to follow the "traditional" path, you just need to find something that works for you!

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justagamerandaweeb · 4 months

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Drunk Sex - Modern AU! Sanemi and Giyuu x Reader

In celebration of graduating from college, Uzui decided to call everyone to his place to have a graduation party. It's well-deserved honesty, these 4 years have been an absolute nightmare for everyone.

You got to his place and were amazed at how big it was. You heard the sound of music blasting inside the house. "Wow, Uzui has a big house. They must be having some fun in there. Well here goes nothin'..." You walked up to the door and knocked on it.

No one answered.

You knocked on the door again.

Still no answer.

You were about to ring the doorbell when suddenly the door opens. Once the door was fully opened the person that was in front of you was none other than Uzui.

"(Y/N)! My main girl, wassup!" His hand stretched out in front of you and you dabbed him up. "Hell yeah, gimmie some. So whatcha here for? You here for the party?"

"I wouldn't be here If I wasn't." You said while smirking up at him since this man is a fucking giant. "Besides, we graduated so why else would I be here other than to celebrate?"

"Hahaha! That's what I like to hear! Come in! Make sure you take your shoes off too." He said while walking back into the house.

You closed the door, took off your shoes and followed him. The sound of music got closer and closer as you arrive in the living room. And Jesus Christ, his living room was big.

There was an upstairs that gave you a bird's eye of the entire living room, not to mention that the kitchen was right next to the living room. Speaking of bird's eye, every person you've met throughout your 4 years in college was there. Kyojuro, Akaza, Michikatsu, Yoriichi, Gyutaro, Gyomei, Daki, Douma, anyone you knew, they were there. Even Sanemi and Giyuu.

"Jeez, everyone is here." You said as you saw people dancing, socializing with each other, or just sitting down eating and drinking like it's the last day on earth.

"Yeah. Just shows you how many people are relieved to get out of college. It's a fucking hellhole. Thank God we all graduated, though."

He then pats your back. "Welp, I'm gonna leave you to it then. Have some fun while I go spit some game." He said while winking at you.

You stammered as you stood there like a social outcast. "Wait, don't you already got 3 girlfriends!?"

"There ain't nothing wrong with getting a 4th one!" He said as he cackles and vanishes into the crowd.

Though him being the second tallest person in the house, you could clearly see him. "I can still see your bitch ass!"

Uzui raises his arm to the air and flips you off. And the response, you did the same but he didn't notice it since the back of his head was facing you.

"Damn, he didn't see it. I guess I'll flip him off later. But in the meantime, I'm starving and thirsty so let's see what they have in the kitchen..."

You took your shoes off and started to walk to the kitchen to see what they had in store. To your surprise, a lot of shit was there. Meat, fish, vegetables, soft drinks, liquor, booze, beer, vodka, everything.

"Jeez... I don't even know what to pick... Maybe I should start small and go with the (F/F). Maybe I should get a drink with it as well."

You grabbed a plate and picked your food and got an (F/D) with it. You walked to the table and sat down at an empty table and started to eat.

You opened your phone and open up Youtube and started to watch (F/YT), but heard a girly voice call out your name. "(Y/N)!"

You felt a pair of arms wrapping around you and someone's head on top of yours as strands of lime green to white hair covered your eyes. "Nice to see you too, Daki."

She stops hugging you and backs up. "Aww, how you know it me?"

You got out of the chair and not only Daki is with you, but also Gyutaro. "Really? Your hair is the most thing that stands out about you, other than your face."

"Aww, cmon, the same thing can literally be said about Mitsuri! She's beautiful and has unique hair, everyone knows that!"

"Yeah, but she is the second person I would think that would have unique hair color. There's something about you that stands out the most to me the most."

Gyutaro raises his eyebrow and says, "Are you hitting on my sister or some shit?"

You shrug your shoulders. "Maybe? Maybe not? I don't fucking know! I just came to get some food and regret my life choices once I get drunk! Not spit some game at people like Uzui!"

They both laughed at your reaction to Gyutaro's question. "Yeah well, enjoy the party while you still can, you don't know what's bound to happen."

You sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. Wait, before you two go back with whatever you two were doing, mind if I take a picture with both of you?"

"Sure!" Daki said in her energetic tone. While said, "Yeah, why not?" In a tired tone of voice. Then again, when does he not sound tired?

You switched your phone to your camera mode and went to the front camera. You hovered your phone above you and told Daki and Gyutaro, "Smile!"

Daki held up 2 peace signs and smiled while Gyutaro winked at the camera, held the devil's horns, and smiled. You took the photo and went to your gallery to look at it.

Daki peeked over your shoulder to see the photo. "Oh my God, I look so cute, send that to me!" She said in an excited high pitched tone of her voice. Gyutaro looked at the photo and shrugged to himself, "I guess I look cool."

"Well, you two can go back to do whatever you were doing while I do the same." Daki hugs you and says, "Ok, see ya! Cmon Gyutaro, let's go." He nods at walks with his sister before he looks back at you and throws a peace sign at you.

You did the same and put your phone back on Youtube and went back to watching (F/YT). You sat back down at the table and continued to eat.

You put down your empty can of (F/D) as you were finished eating your food. You got up and walked up to the trash can and threw the paper plate and can away.

You stretched as you were stuffed from eating. "Man I'm stuffed. Do I have any room for dessert? Or at least get a swig of some of that hard stuff..."

"Hey, (Y/N)!"

"Oh great, more social activity." You turned around to see Kyojuro and Akaza walking toward you both of them having cups in their hands. "Oh, Kyojuro and Akaza, nice seeing you two!"

They both chuckle and Akaza walks up to you and says, "It's nice to see you too, (Y/N)." He said as he reaches his hand out for you to shake it, which you did. After you got done shaking Akaza's hand, Kyojuro wraps his arm around you and you pat his back.

He gives you some space as he backs up next to Akaza. "So, happy that you're done with college?" Kyojuro said as he took a sip of his cup.

"More you than you know."

"Heh... I feel that." Akaza said as he also took a sip of his cup. "You have no idea how much it was a nightmare for me. Especially when I had Douma as my roommate."

"Really? What's so bad about him?"

Akaza looks at you with a disgusted look on his face as if you stabbed a puppy in cold blood. "Have you NOT seen Douma!? Everything about him just spells fucking trouble!"

"I mean..." You scratched your head to think of some that give off the same energy as him. "At least he's not like Enmu..."

"No, he's not. He's fucking worse." Akaza said as he took another sip of his drink. He sighs, "But I'm glad it's over now, I don't have to deal with his bullshit anymore." You nodded as to agree with Akaza but were quickly concerned about why was Kyojuro walking away. "Hey, where are you going!?"

"I'm going to get you a drink, be right back!" He said as he walks into the crowd of people.

"That's Kyojuro for ya, always want to help other people even when they don't need it."

You nodded in agreement. You cleared your throat to get Akaza's attention and said, "So, you two finally kissed and make up after these years?"

He snickers but clears his throat for a second before answering your question. "If you wanna call it that, yeah. He and I decided to put our 'drama' to the side and make up for once. Turns out we have really good chemistry with each other."

"Drama? What do you mean 'drama'?"

"Remember that time the whole university thought I tried to beat up a high school kid that had dark red hair?"

"Yeah..."

He clicks his tongue and hisses through his teeth. "Well... I think you already know..."

Your brain wasn't functioning for a few seconds until something clicked in your mind. You gasped and were about to say something until he quickly hushed you.

"Please don't shout out loud, unless you want people to give us cold stares."

"Sorry, but why would you do that?"

"Because he told me to."

You raised your eyebrow in suspicion. "Whos 'he'?

"A lot of people call him The Hee Hee Man, or The Smooth Criminal. That's the easiest hint I could give you."

"Oh! Do you mean Muzan? Why would he order you to beat up a kid that is still in high school?"

"I don't know, ask him. His psychology is very loose if you know what I mean."

You chuckled from the way he said psychology. "That's a big word for you, Akaza."

He scoffs. "Fuck you."

"I know you would love to."

....

"What?"

"What."

"Okay, I'm back!" Kyojuro announced as he jogs to you with your cup that was filled with ice and golden orange booze. "Sorry, it took so long, a lot of people were wasted when I got there."

"Thank you." You took a sip of the booze and were ready to spit out your drink when you realized that it didn't taste that bad. It kinda tasted like (F/D).

"This taste surprisingly good. What did you put in here, Kyojuro?"

"I put some (F/D) in it since that is your favorite. I thought to myself that might make you like the taste of the booze more."

"Sun boy knows his stuff, nice." Akaza said as he pats Kyojuro's back.

"No that would be Yoriichi, he's the one that really knows his stuff. I heard he aced everything during the last four years."

"Really!? Well, I guess I'll go have a word with him if I see him." You said as took another sip of your drink.

"Alright, it was nice talking with you, (Y/N)," Akaza said as he wrapped his arm around you. Kyojuro does the same as well but pats your head after he was done hugging you. "You didn't have to do that you know."

"Oh I know, I just wanted to though. Let's talk later in the future, alright? You still got us in your contacts?"

You nodded and Kyojuro and Akaza smiles. "Alright. Until we meet again (Y/N), peace!" And Kyojuro waves at you while Akaza threw a peace sign.

You did the same once again as you watched Akaza and Kyojuro walking to the living room. "Now, time to go find Yoriichi."

You searched around the house to see where Yoriichi could be and decided to ask one of Michikatsu's friends where they could be. "Yo, Kaigaku!"

He turns around, "Oh, hey (Y/N), what's up?"

"Nothing much, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Have you seen Yoriichi anywhere? Or maybe Michikatsu?"

"Oh yeah! They went to the bathroom together. Yoriichi carried him there since he was so drunk he could barely stand." He said as he took a sip of the can of peach-flavored Crush.

"Okay thank you!" You said as you started to walk to the bathroom.

"No problem." He said as he went to his phone and opened Youtube.

As you were getting closer to the bathroom, you heard faint sounds of someone vomiting. "There you go, just let it all out." A soft voice said as an overwhelming noise of someone retching was cut off from him.

You open the door to see Michikatsu on his knees and his face inside the toilet seat while Yoriichi was patting his back while sitting in the bathtub.

"Oh, hey (Y/N). What's going on?"

"Nothing much just came to see what you were doing. You?"

"Same like you. Just relieved that I'm done with college."

"Could've fooled me. Because someone told me that you aced all your classes."

"That doesn't mean I didn't like it. It was a nightmare for me, just like the rest of you." Yoriichi said as Michikatsu throws up again and you hear the sound of splashing water and vomit colliding.

You cringed from the sound and said, "Yeah keep telling yourself that while we were all struggling to pass." You took a swig of your drink and cleared your throat as you felt it go down your throat. "Well, I'm going to the kitchen to get a couple of drinks, since my cup is almost empty. Have fun with the party."

Yoriichi waved at you as you closed the door behind you and heard the sound of Michikatsu puking again. You walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of booze.

You only pour a good amount of it before grabbing some (F/D) and mixing it in. You sat down on the chair and started to drink your cup of booze mixed in with (F/D).

Time skip

"Oh fuck, my head... I feel so lightheaded..." You thought as you tried to take a sip of your drink after your 3rd refill, this is your 4th now.

"Cmon, just one more sip, and I'll drop it..." Your arm began to shake you got closer and closer to putting your lips on the rim of the cup. You successfully put the cup in your mouth and took in final sip before putting it down.

You started to hiccup uncontrollably as your entire body felt it just shut down on yourself. You then felt something pat your back and stroke it. You turned around to see Uzui behind you patting your back. "Man (Y/N), you don't look so good."

"Thanks for... *hic* pointing the obvious."

"Hey look I'm just trying to look out for you. There's a guest room upstairs if you want some time alone. It's on the right side, you can't miss it. "

"Y-Yeah. I think I'll do that *hic*." You got up off the table and walked up the stairs. You almost fell when you felt Uzui catch you. "Thank *hic* you..."

"No problem. Make sure you hold on to the railing." You nodded and started to go up the stairs while holding the railing to not lose your balance.

Once you got up the stairs, you noticed a door that was right on the right of you. "This must be the room he was talking about..." You opened the door to see a tv a cable box, and a king-size bed.

"Wow, that bed looks so comfortable..." You took off your shoes and jacket and plopped down on the bed. "Oh my God, and it's Tempur-Pedic. Uzui has all the good shit in this house... Now I'm just gonna rest my eyes for a few... Minutes..." You closed your eyes and drifted to sleep as you softly snored.

Mini time skip

A couple of minutes went by as you were taking a nap and you heard the sound of a door opening. "H-Huh?"

You look back to see two men coming in. One had black hair with ocean blue eyes while the other had white hair and dark purple eyes.

"S-Sanemi? Giyuu? What are you two doing up here?"

"We came up here to relax, we didn't know anybody was in here. We'll look for another room, we're sorry for coming in."

"N-No no, it's okay. You can come in if you want to."

"Thank you." Giyuu said as he took off his shirt and layed down next to you. The blush on your face from drunkenness was reddened from how close Giyuu was close to you. It didn't help either when he wraps his arms around you and nuzzled his nose under your neck.

"Dude, why are you holding her like that? Are you that drunk that you wanna cuddle with someone?"

"Maybe... Or I'm just really excited right now..." He said in a hushed way.

"You're excited? Well, the fuck is stopping you? Go for it and get the jump on her. Were in a party after all, things like this happen."

"I mean... Your not wrong but, I don't wanna make her uncomfortable."

"Just ask for her consent then, the fuck? You're making it sound way harder than it needs to be."

He sighs and said, "Alright, fine." He looks at you and cups your cheek. "Do you want to do this? I understand if you feel uncomfortable and feel like I'm forcing you to do this. But I just want you to know is that if you say yes, we can kiss and possibly go further. If you say no, I will stop and go back to cuddling with you. So, what is it gonna be?"

"I-I..."

"I understand if you say no, since you might feel uncomfortable and were both drunk and all..."

"N-No, I want to do it. Please, kiss me." You wrapped your arms around his neck and back and you both started to lean in into each other and kissed.

The kissing was sloppy but at the same time, it was gentle. He holds you in a tight embrace while you do the same as you both disconnect and reconnect with every kiss. He makes you roll under him, making him the one on top. Even though he doesn't know what he's doing, he tries to french kiss you as he touches down your body slowly trying not to startle you.

Your moan was muffled as you both felt your tongues twirling with each other as you both feel down each other bodies. A quiet pop was made as Giyuu disconnected the kiss.

You both breathe heavily staring at each other as you both have blushes on your faces. "H-How was that?"

"It felt good, Giyuu. M-My body felt so safe when you were holding me while kissing me."

"That's good to hear, but do you want to take it further and, you know?"

You thought about it for a second and said to yourself, "Maybe he's a virgin, just like me maybe we can work this out together."

Sanemi scoffs. "Cmon it's clear that she wants to! I mean if you were kissing good enough to the point where she moans, then it's a clear sign that wants it."

He looks back at you and says, "Do you really want to do this?" He asked you with the most concerning-looking eyes you have ever seen and you nodded.

"Okay, mind if I take off your clothes?" You shook your head "No, I don't mind it." He mutters an okay before he started to take his pants off. You started to take off your clothes too as you took off your shirt and pants, everything including your panties and bra.

You both were completely naked with each other. Giyuu's cock was hard and twitching begging to be inside a warm entrance. "Lay down on your back."

You layed down on the mattress but kept your head up. "Move your legs." You separated your legs and showed your pussy to Giyuu.

He then lines up to your entrance and looks at you one more time for the approval to keep going, and you nodded. He then started to rub his cock on your wet folds trying to lube himself up to you.

"You feel so wet..." You blushed and looked away from him but gasped as you felt his tip enter you. You whimper in pain and pleasure as he slowly pushes his cock inside you.

Giyuu groans from the feeling of your hot and tight walls. "She's so tight, and yet I'm only pushing it in..."

He then felt something stopping him from going further. He looks at you and goes, "(Y/N), are you...?"

You shyly nodded as were embarrassed to tell Giyuu that you were a virgin. He then kisses you and started to move his hips slower to the point your hymen breaks. You let out a half scream, half moan as you felt his cock break your hymen as he stretches your insides.

He strokes your hair for comfort and lets you adjust to his size for a few minutes. He stops kissing you and touches your cheek with his thumb.

"That wasn't too bad, right?"

"Y-You feel so big inside me..."

"And you feel so tight, it's like you're clamping down on me. But I'm gonna let you adjust for a few moments..." He groans as he felt you clenching around him. "And your making that really hard for me if you're gonna keep clenching down on me like that..."

"I-I'm sorry, I can't help it..." You wrapped your arms around his neck and made him lean down and kiss you.

The kiss was more heated than before, both of you passionately kissing each other, every time you both disconnect the kiss, you would want to go back for more. His hips stuttered and started to move on their own, causing you to make a loud moan.

He stops kissing you and says, "My hips are moving are their own. I'm sorry (Y/N), I can't control myself." He said as he moans from the feeling of your warm and wet pussy.

"I-Its okay, it feels good s-so, please don't stop." You lock your legs around his waist as he thrusts his hips into you.

Your breathing was shaking as you tried to stifle a moan but couldn't as you were in complete bliss from Giyuu's cock pumping inside you. "Why are you trying to be quiet?"

"B-Because I don't want anyone to hear us." You stuttered as you close your mouth to stifle a moan. "It's okay, where upstairs anyway. Most of them are just downstairs." He said as he started to thrust faster at a moderate pace. Your back arched and let out a high-pitched moan but bit your lip. "That's it, just like that, I wanna hear your voice.

As Sanemi was watching this, he looks down to see his tent in his pants. He blushes as to realize that he was getting a hard-on from this. "Fuck... I'm getting excited just by watching this shit... I want fuck (Y/N) but Giyuu is already doing that... And I don't want her to suck my dick since she's drunk and might bite down on it. Unless..." His eyes pan down to Giyuu's ass jiggling every time he moves his hips and he felt his cock throbbing.

"Am I really getting excited just because of his ass? Damn... Oh, fuck it..." He began to undress as he watched the intercourse happening. A few seconds later, Sanemi was fully naked with his 8-in-a-half inch long and 5 inches thick cock erect and twitching.

He grabbed some lube, poured some on his hand, and started to stroke his cock until it was completely covered in it.

He slowly walks to the bed and gets behind Giyuu. He puts his hand on his hip and that causes Giyuu to flinch and stop.

"Sanemi, what are you-"

"Shut up. I'm fucking horny right now, and I want to be in the mix. So how bout you shut up and focus on fucking her insides while I focus on fucking your ass..." He prods Giyuu's asshole and slowly enters inside him, making Giyuu gasp and make a shaky exhale.

"It's in. Now, move your hips for her, and I'll move mine." He then started to move his hips onto Giyuu's ass and he moans. But regardless, he still was thrusting into you.

"Your ass so so fucking tight... It's like you want me to cum before you... But that ain't gonna happen, not until you cum inside her." He said as he was fucking Giyuu's tight ass.

"F-Fuck..." Giyuu said as he was thrusting inside you but at the same felt Sanemi hitting his prostate. He leans down and kisses your lips as you felt his cock hitting your womb. He stops kissing you and you said, "Giyuu..."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Go faster, p-please."

"Will do." He started to move his hips faster into you and you started to moan and pant heavily, it was like you were hypnotized by pleasure.

Giyuu was hypnotized by pleasure as well. He felt Sanemi's fat cock pumping inside him as well as hitting his male G-spot.

You felt your stomach tightening as you felt closer and closer to your climax. "Giyuu, I-I'm gonna!" He cups your cheek and pecks your lips. "That's it baby, cum for me. C-Cum on my dick for me..." He french kisses you as he pounds your pussy, hitting your womb every time he fully enters you.

You started to whimper as you got closer and closer to your breaking point until the know in your stomach snapped. You made a shaky husk moan as you felt your pussy spraying your juices on his cock and pelvis. "G-Giyuu..."

"I know, baby, I know." He said as he continued fucking your pussy that was drenched in your juices. Wet and lewd noises come out every time his hips come into contact with each other. He looks at you and you covered your face with your arms. "D-Don't look at me..." He smirks and pecks your lips. "Just try to hold on, okay? I-I'll cum soon eventually."

Said as he caressed your chin when suddenly he was pushed from Sanemi's force of thrusting. "H-Hey, you're being too rough..."

"So what? As long as I make you cum, that's all I care about." Sanemi said as he grabbed Giyuu's hips and started to pound his ass.

"A-Ah! Fuck!" He started to move his hips vigorously pounding your sensitive cunt. You let out another half scream, half moan as you felt his tip kissing your womb. You removed your arms from your face to reveal your teary face to him. He wipes the tears away from your face and gently kisses your lips.

You've wrapped your arms around his neck and locked your legs tighter around his waist as he uses all the stamina he had left on you.

A few minutes later, and Giyuu felt his cock twitching inside you as he pumps himself faster and faster into you. He stops kissing you as a thin rope of saliva stretches between you two. "I'm gonna cum... Where do you want me to...?"

"P-Please, inside me."

He looks at you with concern in his eyes, making sure that you actually wanted that. "A-Are you sure?" You frantically nodded as you captured his lips with yours. His moaning got louder and louder as he felt himself getting closer to his climax until he grunted and felt his cock finally spurted you.

You felt his hot cum flowing inside your pussy, giving you shivers throughout your entire body. You both stop kissing as you were both shaking from stimulation. His hips were stuttering as they were slowly moving even though he already come.

He felt Sanemi twitching inside him and his breath started to shake. "F-Fuck! I'm gonna... Fucking... gonna!" He slammed his hips into Giyuu's ass and leaned his head back as he let out an exhale as he felt his cock spurting out his cum.

Giyuu softly moaned as he felt his ropes filling his ass. As they were panting from how exhausted they were, Sanemi grabs his chin, makes him look at him, and connects their lips together. It was a slow and passionate kiss as their saliva was exchanged with each other. Spit running down their chins after kissing for so long.

They stop kissing as a line of saliva stretches between their lips. They stare at each other for a couple of seconds before Sanemi says, "Lay down." He takes his cock out of Giyuu and pushes him on top of you.

"Hey."

"H-Hey." He wraps his hand around your waist and makes you lay down on your side. You yawned because of how tired you were. "I'm so sleepy..." Giyuu grabs the covers and puts them under you and him. "Me too, me too baby..." He kisses your lips for a few seconds and stops as a quiet pop was made.

"Scoot." Sanemi said as he went under the cover and laid behind Giyuu. His arm went around his waist and he scoots up to him until he felt his butt touching his pelvis.

"You always this forceful?"

"Only when I'm drunk... Now shut up, and let me go to... Sleep..." He said as he closes his eyes, softly snores and drifts off into sleep.

"W-Well, good night, Giyuu." You said as you put your head between his chest and closed your eyes.

"Yeah... Good night..." Giyuu said as he puts his hand on your back and proceeds to go to sleep.

Well, this was one way to celebrate graduation from college. You for sure won't forget this for the rest of your life.

Unless you were really drunk and this will be a haze for you tomorrow.

#demon slayer smut #kny smut #wattpad #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny sanemi #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi x reader #sanemi smut #giyuu tomioka #kny giyuu #giyuu x reader #giyuu smut

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crowhyun · 2 years

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FOXY RIDE — 2

fox hybrid!yeonjun x panda bear hybrid!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, angst

Warnings: oral (fem receiving), slight dry humping, breeding kink, rough secks, creampie, really fluffy but passionate, mentions of pregnancy, ACTUAL pregnancy, mentions of weight gain and food, reader has trust issues lol

Words: 5.2k (this was supposed to be under 2k…)

AN: so, you don’t necessarily have to read the first part to read this part, but if you want more context, go ahead. This was actually supposed to be just smut, but i decided to had just a little more lol. Hope you enjoy! (also! I literally rushed with this so sorry! there may be quite a bit of typos, but i still put my love and care into it!!!)

For the past few weeks, Yeonjun had been in dreamland, heads in the clouds for most of the day, and a smile on his face. By now, the whole school was informed about you and him being in a relationship, disappointing literally everyone who was interested in him.

Despite the fact that you were seen as a nobody compared to Yeonjun, he didn't care one bit. He wasn't even aware of how people saw you. All he knew that when he was with you, he felt like the luckiest man in the world.

(Y/N): i have a homework to do tonight then i'm taking a nap

Yeonjun: okay bby <3

Yeonjun: i'll buy you dinner to eat when you wake up

(Y/N): it's fine, you don't have to, i ate a few hours ago

(Y/N): i've been gaining too much weight anyways

Yeonjun: what's wrong with that?

Yeonjun: i'll buy you dinner and we'll eat together okay?

(Y/N): you won't let me decline, will you?

Yeonjun: no <3

(Y/N): i guess then

(Y/N): see you tonight :)

Yeonjun: <3

As if it was second nature, Yeonjun's fingers glided across the screen, about to send one last text, but then he stopped.

Yeonjun: i love you (unsent)

Was it too soon? What if it made you uncomfortable? He shook his head and deleted it, deciding to leave it at that. He wanted to make sure you were fully comfortable in the relationship before he said something that serious. Yet...those were his true feelings...

"What are you doing?"

He jumped at the voice behind him, seeing that it was Wooyoung looking over his shoulder at his phone.

"What are you doing?" Yeonjun retorted.

"Just scepulating." Wooyoung shrugged. "You're always texting her." He laughed.

"Well, yeah...she's my girlfriend." Yeonjun found himself smiling at calling you his girlfriend. It'll never get old for him. Wooyoung gave him a weird look, and Yeonjun tilted his head to the side. "What's that look for?"

"Nothin', just...you're actually serious about (Y/N)?" Wooyoung asked.

"Of course I am." Yeonjun scoffed. "I thought that was obvious."

"Just asking." Wooyoung said. "Anyways, you coming to my party tonight? This time we got an actual bartender!"

"Nah, not tonight." Yeonjun said, looking back at his phone as if you were going to text him again.

"But you said that last weekend." Wooyoung pouted. "And the one after that."

"I've been focusing on my studies." Yeonjun shrugged. "It's our last year, and we can celebrate after we graduate. If we graduate, that is. You should do the same."

Wooyoung scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Jun...come on."

"What?"

"Really?" Wooyoung gave him another weird look. "Is (Y/N) forcing you to do this?"

"The fuck do you mean?" Yeonjun lifted a brow.

"Well, y'know, she's more...uptight. Focused on her grades and shit." Wooyoung said. "Ever since you guys started dating, you've kinda been a recluse. Like you've changed. Get loose a little, usually these college relationships don't last, anyways."

Yeonjun sighed, rolling his eyes. If he had a dollar for every one of his friends that said this to him, he'd be rich by now.

"Wooyoung, you're my friend, right?" Yeonjun asked.

"Duh, since freshman year of high school." Wooyoung laughed.

"Then you know what happens when you cross the line right?"

"Uh...yeah." Woo young's smile dropped and he scratched the back of his neck.

"Well, you're almost there, friend." Yeonjun said, patting him on the shoulder. "Don't push it." He gave him a tight smile before he gathered his things and left, on his way to your favorite restaurant.

He didn't have it in him to stay angry for long. Wooyoung was always his best friend, and he's always said dumb things from time to time. Besides, it's not like he knew what it was like to be in a real relationship.

——————————————

With the spare key that you had given him, Yeonjun entered your apartment quietly, setting the bag of takeout he ordered on your kitchen counter.

All of the lights were off, and it was very quiet, so he assumed that you were still asleep. He didn't want your sleep pattern to get awry, so he thought he'd go and wake you up.

"Baby?" He called quietly, softly knocking on your door. You were laid on the bed on your stomach, arms folded above your head and your leg bent up. You looked so comfortable in your baggy hoodie and underwear, as if you were having the best dream. Your bushy tail fluttered every now and then, peeking out from under the hoodie. He smiled to himself and walked in, making sure not to wake you just yet.

You always looked so peaceful while sleeping, like you didn't have a worry in the world. Though, as much as he wanted you to rest up completely, he knew you had to eat as well.

"Wake up, babe." Yeonjun said, slightly shaking your shoulder. "The food is here."

You squinted your eyes open, frowning as the light from the hallway got in your eyes.

"Oh, hi, Jun." You said, yawning.

"Hi, princess." He chuckled. "Did you get your homework done?"

You paused. "Homework...ah. I tried to take a short break, but I fell asleep instead. I don't have much to do anyways."

"Mm, okay." He nodded. "Well, if you're ready to eat, the foods in the kitchen."

“Mmm.” You hummed, slowly shutting your eyes once again.

“Heyyy. Heyyyyyy-“ Yeonjun whined, laying next to you and putting your leg over his hips so he could get closer. “Wake up.” He pouted, giving you a short peck that made you smile.

“Why?” You huffed.

“Because you sleeping pattern will be ruined.” He said. “And because I miss you. And I wanna be with you.”

“I’m so tired, though…”

“That’s because you’re still laying down, and because it’s dark in here.” He said. “Come on, cutie, get up.” He lifted himself up on his knees, grabbing your hands so that he could bring you up with him, but with a giggle, you dragged him back down in between your legs, his chest colliding with yours. “Yah-“ He laughed. “You’re naughty today, aren’t you?”

“Cuddle me.” You said.

“Ah ah ah, I know your tricks.” He shook his head, giving you a stern look. “Every time you go all, ‘cuddle me Yeonjun’-“ You laughed at his horrible high pitched mocking of you. “-you end up falling asleep after the first five minutes.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so comfy and warm.”

“Oh? Am I?” He smiled, and you rolled your eyes, knowing that you had just fed his ego. He laughed, giving you another kiss. “Will kisses keep you awake?”

“I think so.” You said. “Just keep kissing me and we’ll see.”

“Okay, so hypothesis-“ Kiss. “If I kiss my girlfriend non-stop-“ Kiss. “Then she will stay awake-“ Kiss. “Because all she needs is love and attention-“ Kiss. “Even though she doesn’t admit it.”

“Oh wow, the iconic ‘if, then, because’ statement. How educated.” You chuckled sarcastically.

“Of course, that extra studying is going to make a smarter than you.”

“Mhm, we’ll see about that.” You grabbed his face, planting your lips against his again. You didn’t want to talk anymore, you just wanted to feel is soft, plump lips against yours. Yeonjun said less, wanting to just kiss you and much as you wanted to kiss him.

If there’s one thing you’ve learned about Yeonjun since you’ve started dating him, it was that he was the best kisser you’ve ever had the pleasure of kissing. It was scary how perfect he was, and just how fast he learned what you liked. Almost as if it was too good to be true.

Over time, the kiss got more heated, even though you really didn’t mean for it to happen. Your tongues twirled together, exchanging saliva—something that you were now used to doing every day.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you, and you gasped once you felt his hard-on right on your center. He was rock hard.

“Oh…oops.” Yeonjun gave you a sheepish smile. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“It’s okay.” You said, trying to keep from grinding your hips up against him. You didn’t want to seem too desperate, especially when he didn’t mean to get aroused like this. “I…I could help you if you want.”

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Really? Do you want to?” You nodded.

“It could keep me awake for the next few hours.” You slowly trailed your hands down his lean arms.

“Oh? Then we should get to it, huh?” He chuckled. “Wouldn’t want you to fall asleep too early.” No more words needed to be exchanged as Yeonjun attached his lips to yours with more fervor this time. He didn’t stop himself from grinding into you, the growing wetness of your center leaking through your underwear and staining his sweats.

His hands held onto your hips and slowly moved up and under your sweatshirt.

“Wait…” He parted from the kiss and looked down. “Is this my sweatshirt?”

You looked down, not even remembering exactly what you were wearing.

“Oh…I think so.” You said. “Sorry, you left it here a few days ago and I guess it got mixed up with my clothes.”

“Don’t apologize.” He but his lip with a smile. “You look hot in my clothes.” This was one of the many fantasies that Yeonjun dreamt about whenever he wasn’t with you. Him fucking you in his clothes. It satisfied the primal urge to make you his, to pin you down and fuck you full of his-

Yeonjun had to snap out of it.

Don’t get too carried away, Yeonjun…

He looked down at the wet spot on your panties, seeing just how quick it was for you to be so wet for him. He trailed his fingers over your slick covered underwear, putting enough pressure on your slit to make you twitch you hips upwards.

“Fuck…” He whispered as he watched another gush of slick deep through your panties. The fabric stuck to you, outlining your slick lower lips. His cock twitched at the image in front of him. As much as he wanted to fuck you dumb, his mouth watered, and he knew he just had to get a taste. “Can I eat you out?”

The question surprised you. Yeonjun had never eaten you out ever since you’ve dated, and things were met pretty simple. Actually, you’ve never been eaten out before, so this was new to you.

“I-It’s okay if you don’t want me to, I could just-“

“Yes.” You said quickly. As much as this was new to you, it didn’t stop you from ever fantasizing about his gorgeous lips wrapping around your clit…

It’s like you saw the excitement pass over Yeonjun’s face as he quickly made his move to put his face in between your thighs.

Yeonjun pushed your thighs open a bit more, and you felt a bit self conscious of your most sensitive area being right in front of his eyes. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so he kept himself from pressing his nose right against your wetness, savoring your sweet scent.

You saw his ear twitch as his eyes darkened, and he flattened his tongue against your covered slit, getting a quick taste of you and teasing you at the same time.

“Fuck, you taste so good…” Yeonjun murmured, more like to himself than to you. In a hurry, he pushed himself up on his knees to slide your underwear off. Leaving you naked under Yeonjun’s baggy sweatshirt.

He placed himself back in between your legs, using his hands to grab onto your thighs and spread your legs further than needed. He couldn’t wait this time, immediately diving in and gathering all of the slick that had slipped out of you.

Your back arched, half in surprise and half in pleasure.

“Fuck, Yeonjun-“ You gasped, grabbing ahold of his messy hair. He held onto your thighs tightly as his tongue moved in and out of your hole, devouring your slick as if it was his first meal of the day.

You didn’t want to be too loud, so you bit your sleeve, your other hand tugging on his hair right behind his ears.

You thought that you’d be able to contain the volume of your moans until he wrapped his lips around your clit, and sucked, moaning at the taste, and it sent vibrations right up the nerves of your clit.

You mewled at that, trying to get in gulps of air. You felt like you could barely breathe with just how good he was eating you. He surprised you everyday with how good he was at everything.

His eyes met with yours, watching your every expression and every twitch and turn on your body. You just looked so dreamy in his eyes as he gave you the pleasure you deserved.

Spurred on by your heavenly sounds, he focused all of his attention on sucking in your sensitive clit, determined to make you cum.

You felt your high come closer and closer, and at this point, you didn’t care about the noise you were making. You just wanted to cum on his tongue, even more so than Yeonjun wanted.

With both of your hands, you grabbed ahold of his hair and started grinding your hips on him. Immediately, he flattened his tongue, watching as you used him to get yourself off. It was the hottest thing he’s ever seen, and it felt like he was going to cum just from this. He knew he wouldn’t last long once he was inside of you.

You repeated his name over and over like a mantra as you finally slipped over the edge, riding his tongue through your powerful orgasm. There was just something about you using him like this that made his cock twitch like crazy, and once your orgasm settled down, he didn’t give you time to breathe at all.

He didn’t even completely take his clothes off before he crawled back up to you and smashed his lips against yours, pulling his sweats down just enough to release his angry, leaking cock. You were to distracted by your own taste to notice the tip of his cock right at the entrance of your sopping hole, and you yelped once he slid into you all in one go, his hips meeting with yours in a harsh slap.

There was no time to waste, as he held himself up, hovering above you so that he could have a clear view of your face. He started pummeling inside of you, not able to control himself any further. He let himself wait for too long before allowing himself any pleasure.

“Oh my god-“ You gasped, grabbing a hold of his shoulders so that his harsh thrusts wouldn’t push you up the bed.

His moans were like music to your ears, and you felt him twitch uncontrollably inside of you, you couldn’t help the erotic noises that spilled from your throat.

“Fuck, this kissy takes me so well,” Yeonjun moaned, lost in the feeling of you clenching around him, accommodating his girth.

Suddenly, the sound of a phone ringing stopped the both of you in your tracks, him balls deep inside of you and looking over at his phone on your nightstand.

He looked so hot at this moment, his eyes furrowed in frustration, his chest moving up and down at his heavy breaths, his hair messy from the pulling, and sweat dripping down his forehead.

He reached over to pick up his phone, and he growled as he noticed it was Wooyoung. Why would he be calling him at this time?

“Yeonjun, baby~” You whined, clenching around him as you wanted to get back to it. “You can call him back when you’re done…please fuck me.”

“Fuck…” He groaned, throwing his phone to the side and returning back to you, starting his thrusts once again. He fucked you deep, not wanting you to miss the feeling of each and every inch of his lengthy cock.

“Oh, god-“ You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Please don’t stop, Yeonjun—I’m gonna cum!”

He wasn’t planning on stopping anyways. His stamina never failed to amaze you everytime he fucked you. You felt like he could go on and on for hours, but it never got that long before.

You opened your mouth in a silent scream as you arched your back, cumming hard on Yeonjun’s cock. Your nails dug into his shoulders, most likely making marks that’ll be there for days after this.

He winced, the pain turning into pleasure as he found it harder and harder to keep trusting in you. Shoved all the way into your pussy, he shallowly thrusted at a quick pace, his balls tightening as he got ready to release a load inside of you.

You whined at the overstimulation, diligently waiting for him to cum inside of you, filling you up just how you like it.

“Cum inside me, Jun-“ You whined to edge him on. “Fill me up…I want it-“

Fill her up, Yeonjun~

Fill her till she can’t take anymore~

Give her all your cum~

Fuck her full until she’s pregnant with your pups~

Knock her up, Yeonjun~

He let out a groan from deep in his gut as he finally came, spurt after spurt of his white cum filling you up and overflowing. He continued to weakly thrust inside of you until he was nearly dry, unable to continue filling you up.

Tired, Yeonjun released the weight on his arms, falling down on you, but careful not to suffocate you.

“Damn…” Yeonjun breathed out. “Tell me why I can’t keep my hands off you whenever I’m around you.”

“I’m trying to figure that out myself.” You replied, laughing even though you were tired al over again.

On the other side of the bed, Yeonjun noticed his phone vibrating every few seconds. He furrowed his brows in confusion and picked it up, seeing multiple messages from Wooyoung.

Wooyoung: bro u sure you don’t wanna come to the party tonight?

Wooyoung: you can bring (Y/N)

Wooyoung: i miss u :(

Wooyoung: where are you

Wooyoung: are you at (Y/N)’s house???

Wooyoung: can i come just to say hi

Wooyoung: i’ve never said more than two sentences to her

Wooyoung: can i meet my best friends girlfriend

Wooyoung: i’m coming over

Wooyoung: apartment number 48 right?

Wooyoung: wait…

Wooyoung: nvm it’s 49

Wooyoung: i hear y’all fucking

Wooyoung: so loud jeez

Wooyoung: i’ll come back another time

Wooyoung: have fun ig lol

“What is it?” You asked.

“Nothing.” Yeonjun said quickly. He knew you’d be embarrassed if you had known that Wooyoung heard the two of you. “Just Wooyoung spamming dumb shit about the party.”

“Oh…I’m hungry.” You pouted.

“Good thing I’ve got just what you need.” He said with a wink, then pulled out. “Oh, shit-“ He watched as his cum spilled out of you, momentarily forgetting what had just happened moments before. “Uh, let’s clean up first. Sorry…”

————————————————

About a week later, you went to class feeling more groggy than usual. There was a permanent frown on your face, and an ache in your stomach.

You guessed your period was about to come, and you dreaded it. It was almost like the week before your period was worse than the actual week of.

Though, it was weird, because you had feel this type of grogginess for a few weeks now, and your period hasn’t come yet. It was two days before it would usually come, but you weren’t too worried.

“Should you go to the doctor?” Yeonjun suggested while walking you home. “It could be something serious, especially if you’ve been feeling this way for a few weeks. What if it’s a stomach bug?”

“I’m fine, Jun.” You said. “Stuff like this has happened before.”

“I don’t know…” He frowned. “You said you’ve been gaining weight easily and feeling more tired than usual too, right?”

“Yeah, but it could be stress.” You said. “That sometimes happens when I’m stressed.”

“(Y/N).” Yeonjun looked at you with concern written all over his face. “I’m going to need you to care about yourself a little more. This really could be something serious, and it shouldn’t just be pushed to the side because of stress. Call the doctor. I’ll take you there.”

You sighed, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to argue about this. You knew that Yeonjun just cared for you deeply, as he was always there for you whenever you didn��t feel your best.

So, you were able to schedule a doctors appointment for the next day, and Yeonjun drove you there like he said he would.

“If it’s nothing, you owe me my check-up fee.” You said to Yeonjun, who scoffed and laughed.

“Is this what I get for caring?” Yeonjun pouted.

“Yes.” You said. “I doubt it isn’t even that bad.”

“Well, I hope it’s not.”

The doctor walked back into the room, clipboard in hand. She greeted the two of you again and put on some hand sanitizer.

“So, I looked over your symptoms with the nurse.” She said. “Urine testing takes about three hours, five or take, so I cannot give a for sure diagnosis right now, but…your symptoms are quite clear for what it is.”

“It’s not too bad, right.” You chuckled nervously, expecting to hear that maybe you had caught a stomach bug after all.

“Eh, depends.” The doctor said, giving you a tight smile. “You’re pregnant, Ms.(Y/L/N).”

Silence.

“Uh…” Yeonjun cleared his throat. “That’s not final, though, right? S-since the urine test isn’t complete?”

“Technically, no, it’s not final.” The doctor said. “But the symptoms are prett obvious. You’re most likely 3-5 weeks pregnant by now.”

You couldn’t speak. This can’t be. You can’t be pregnant. You’re so young. You’re still in school with no career. Your apartment might be big enough for a baby, but do you have the money for it. Did Yeonjun even want a baby? What if he was going to leave you? What if this was too much for him?

“Due to the both of you being hybrids, the change for multiples is quite high.” The doctor said. “There’s a higher chance that you’d have twins or triplets than if you’d have just one.”

“Oh god.” The fear settled in, and you felt yourself start to panic. Though the doctor felt pity on you, she continued.

“We’ll call you once the urinology results are ready, and we can give you an accurate diagnosis,” The doctor said. “But for now, that is most likely what it is.”

——————————————

The results were in. You were really pregnant, and you had been pregnant for four weeks now. You didn’t even know it, and neither did Yeonjun, of course.

You laid on your couch, crying for days at your predicament. You had distanced yourself from Yeonjun, not allowing him to see you like this.

Did it matter, really, though? No one would want to become a parent so young in their life. Especially not Yeonjun. He’s always been the party type, always the type to live life to the fullest. Now his loser girlfriend was pregnant. Would you blame him if he was done with you and the baby(s) on the way? Not at all.

“(Y/N), baby, please talk to me. We can talk this out, we can figure this out, just please answer the phone, okay?”

You listened to yet another one of his voicemails, feeling guilty but not feeling brave enough to talk to him. The relationship didn’t even last long, but you were already into something that would take a life long commitment. How could you be so stupid?

“You know I won’t come over until you answer the phone, baby. I don’t want you to be alone, right now, especially not at a time like this. I don’t care about classes, I just want to see you. Please answer the phone.”

Was he frustrated at you? You couldn’t handle seeing his anger directed at you. You couldn’t handle seeing him right now. So you texted him just to ease the guilt that weighed on you.

(Y/N): i just want to be alone right now.

(Y/N): just leave me alone for a bit…

—————————————

Yeonjun paced back and forth, not knowing what to do with himself when he was away from you. This was a time where he knew that you shouldn’t be alone. He knew that you didn’t wan to be alone. You were just pushing him away, just like you always did when you didn’t want him to see you in an emotional state.

At the least, his feelings were hurt. He was surprised, too. He was anxious, too. This was his child, too! Did you not trust him enough to show him your rough sides? Was he not showing you just how much he loved and cherished you every day?

He could only blame himself, after all. His reputation, his attitude, everything. If he was more careful, this wouldn’t have happened. You’d trust him more, and your relationship would be even deeper. How could he get you to trust him?

Right now, he didn’t care about anything else. The only thing he cared about was you, and the future you two would have together. That’s all he wanted you to know. But you didn’t know. You, of course, thought the opposite. Like he didn’t care. Like he didn’t want to care.

It made him frustrated, so, so, frustrated. With himself, with you.

He called again, after leaving you alone for a day. He hoped that you would pick up this time, that maybe he had calmed down just a bit.

His heart stopped when you picked up the phone.

“Baby?” He spoke softly. He heard nothing for a few seconds, then suddenly heard the sounds of you softly sobbing.

You didn’t mean to cry. You were done with crying after a day, but the sound of him being so worried made you break down.

“Baby, please don’t cry,” Yeonjun frowned, feeling himself tear up just hearing you in so much anguish. “Please let me come over. Let’s talk, okay? We won’t be able to get through this is we don’t talk.”

He waited for you to answer, as you were silent for a minute.

“T-the door’s unlocked…” You sniffled.

And with that, he hurried to your apartment, keeping you on the phone the entire time. His heart was aching to see you again. It’s like he couldn’t be away from you for more than a day.

Five minutes later, he showed up at your apartment, rushing through the door and finding you on your couch.

Immediately, without one word exchanged, he ran to embrace you in a warm, tight hug. As a surprise to you, you hugged him back just as tight, not knowing just how much you missed him and just how much you needed a hug.

“Baby, you can’t…you can’t just do that anymore.” Yeonjun said. “You can’t be alone at times like this. It may sound selfish, but, y-you can’t do that to me.”

“I’m sorry.” You cried, not planning to offer an explanation. You’d feel too ashamed to do so.

“How have you been feeling?” He asked, looking at you. “You haven’t been hurting too bad, have you? Don’t ignore me, again, I’ll take care of you.”

“It’s just…just some nausea, that’s all.” You said. “I’m fine.”

He sighed, looking at you with deep concern. “Baby…you know you don’t have to hide anything from me, right? I don’t like how you shut yourself out when you’re sad or mad. I’m always here for you, especially now. Tell me what’s on your mind. I’m listening, I always am.”

You refused to look at him, eyes glued to the floor. Did you really want to open up to him? What if he wanted to eventually leave you? Leave you with your future child(ren)?

“Do…do you still want to be with me?” You asked him softly.

“What?” He tilted his head of the side, and gently grabbed your hand. “Of course I still want to be with you. Pregnant or not, I still want to be with you. What makes you think otherwise?”

“I just…we’re so young.” You said. “You have your whole life ahead of you, and…it feels like I’m trapping you with me. Don’t you…don’t you want to go explore and be free without the responsibility of a girlfriend with a child?”

“Of course not.” He said. What you were saying to him was absolutely ridiculous, but he didn’t want to show you how much it frustrated him while you were in a sensitive place right now. “I don’t think you understand, (Y/N). You are the most important person in my life. You’re young, too, and even though having a baby at this time isn’t ideal, I would never leave you alone to go through this yourself. This is something we both did, and I would hate myself for vet even thinking of leaving you alone. Do you understand, baby?”

You bit your lip, taking in everything he was saying.

“This is far from a trap, and…having a baby may not be the worst thing. Especially when it’s with you. I…I love you, (Y/N). I love you so much, and it hurts me to know that you’re thinking this way. Put a little faith in me, okay? I’m here for you, and I always will be.”

Tears fell from your eyes, but this time, they weren’t negative. This time, you felt loved. This time, you felt that you weren’t alone. Despite your insecurities and trust issues, Yeonjun still tried his hardest to show you just how much you meant to him. You were difficult, but Yeonjun didn’t care, because he really just loved you that much.

“Come here.” He said, gagging you in a hug again. He held you close to his chest, one of the many warm hugs that happened right on this couch. “I love you so much, okay? Never forget that.”

You nodded against his chest, letting out the last of your tears as you two hugged in silence.

A few minutes later, you uttered out the words, “I love you, too.”

Yeonjun didn’t think you’d say it. He didn’t think you were ready just yet, and he was fine with that. But hearing it come out of your mouth made his heart warm. There was no feeling better than love. Feeling loved, being loved, to love. Yeonjun never prioritized the feeling of love until he met you. He learned just how strong it could be, and just how important it was for him to feel. If you could make him feel this way, there was nothing else that he needed in the world.

———————————

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@suopaterry @justlanasworld @bluejin0812 @hwasatiny @hyukakes

#underworldnet #ficscafe #txt yeonjun #yeonjun x reader #choi yeonjun #yeonjun smut #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fluff #txt smut #txt angst #txt fluff #crowhyun

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mike-haters-dni · 6 months

Note

GIMMIE THE FUTURE MIKE HCS I BEG

oh boy here we go time to dig through my adopted oc's lore

The first thing you notice about post-coming-of-age Mike is that he holds his face a lot more softly. The teenage angst has burned away and revealed the tender, affectionate (and sometimes vaguely sad) core it was protecting. Make no mistake, the judgy bitch will still come out if the situation calls for it, but he no longer approaches every social interaction assuming the other person is going to hate him. Turns out he can actually be pretty charismatic when he doesn't feel the need to be a dick in preemptive self-defense.

The low self-esteem never completely goes away but it does diminish to the point where he can occasionally believe people actually like him and maybe he deserves to be happy. He even gets to the place where he can accept most compliments, except if you specifically imply he is either kind or attractive, which he will reflexively scoff at. The two things he can never truly believe about himself 😔. El finds this endlessly frustrating ofc.

During high school, Mike is the first one to get a car (birthday present from his rich parents) so it becomes his job to carpool everyone to school, as well as drive El anywhere she wants to go at any time. idk anything about cars but its black and pretty nice (Karen is absolutely treating her kids after they almost died in a monster war) and Mike lowkey mostly agrees to favors because he likes driving it around so much.

Actually no one else but Lucas gets a car bc why go through the hassle when you can just barge into Wheeler residence at any time and guilt Mike into driving you. He does have a driving toll however, and that is maintaining full control of the stereo, which he uses to blast hair metal.

(El fucking hates hair metal but she's too nice to admit that to Mike, who eventually figures that out on his own after seeing her visibly tense up whenever he plays it. She never fully admits to hating it but she also doesn't really deny it when he says that she obviously does. This also applies to 90's Mike getting into grunge)

The only reason El graduates high school is because Mike absolutely insists that she can and acts as her personal (unrelenting) tutor for the last half of 12th grade (love her but she's really not good at school), despite her best efforts to persuade him to just let her give up because "Did you know that you can legally drop out of school at 18?" ("Yes, but having a GED is really important if you want any opportunities in life." "…See I don't even know what that is." ":/") Luckily, Mike is a talented and very passionate Explainer of Things and took all the classes she's in last year (he's in AP classes now obv) so it all works out, though after she passes her last final she makes him swear to never ask her another math problem again.

After high school he tries to go to college for writing but ends up mysteriously losing the ability to focus on anything or be creative, which causes him to not do any assignments so he starts avoiding going to class out of shame. He rationalizes this as him being tired of school and not needing to go to school for a creative endeavor anyway haha (true), and he ends up dropping out. (Unfortunately, this is just the start of the college/post-college plot line, which is the gang all getting hit full force with the ptsd induced by the Everything upon entering adulthood but uh we don't have to get into that here hehe)

After (attempting) college, Mike and El (who get married at 18 ofc) move to Chicago and Mike gets a boring job as an editor or something just as an attempt to get a career going, but soon quits that as well bc if you're keeping up with the lore you'll remember that El is getting paid restitution by the government so neither of them actually have to work and he really doesn't like working a boring job just to attempt getting a career going. He then spends the next few years working ("working" sometimes) on personal projects, the main one being a sci-fi novel and, eventually, dming at a local game shop, where he becomes a bit of a local geek celebrity for his excellent dming skills and being a generally cool guy. His original campaigns and one-shots are particularly popular, and people keep suggesting that he start distributing them or maybe even sending something to TSR? Hmmm... not something Mike ever thought about doing but he does have the easiest time and most fun coming up with dnd stuff...no way that could be a real career path could it...hmm.....

Seriously tho Mike is like a master dm. You can ask him any obscure question about anything in the game and he can answer instantly with perfect accuracy. And like any passionate gamer he has many Opinions about the editions and a whole set of house rules he runs his games by.

I wasn't originally going to have him and El have kids but then I imagined Mike telling interactive bedtime stories to his 5-year-old daughter and idk man I think that has to exist. Its not until they're like early 30's tho. Also her name is Ava.

#phew i did it #this is a pretty long post but i still feel like ive barely scratched the surface idk #hes a vivid entity in my mind what can i say #ty for asking btw :) i very appreciate the excuse to Post #mileven

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peter-guy · 7 months

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How Peter Griffin helped me realize I was trans.

No, that title isn't a joke. My heavy Peter Griffin kin geniunely helped guide my path to realizing I was a transgender male.

I'm not gonna lie- I used to make fun of kinning when I was younger when I was a kid with unrestricted internet access & made fun of all these concepts that were fairly new to me at the time. I think I realized kinning wasn't bad when I was 12 but acted like I hated it because I didn't want my friends to make fun of me. Said friends donot talk to me or atleast changed their mindset on kinning. When I was around 14/15, I became more invested in the kin community. I realized that most of the things that described kin fit me perfectly. I always related to Peter Griffin- He was my favorite character in Family Guy, besides Brian & Lois. Yet, the word "relate" didn't fit strong enough to me. I felt "related" to Peter to a more spiritual connection sort of way. Even to this day, it's a bit hard to explain but that's a story for another day when I can find the words to say it. Anywho, I eventually realized my feelings aligned with kin. I won't lie, I was in heavy denial since kinning Family Guy is considered cringe & we're not quite at that point where it's considered normal. I tried to identify with my kin of Stan Marsh more since South Park kin is considered less embarassing. I do kin Stan, but it's not as heavy as Peter so I felt like I was being someone else. Sounds familiar to another experience of pretending to be someone you're not, right? Anywho.. I was known as a Stan Marsh kin for about 3-ish years or so. Yet I couldn't hide the Peter kin I was hiding. By the time I was 18,I accepted it. I realized I can't hide who I truly identify with, and accepted it. I told some friends- They were more accepting than I expected. I felt so happy. I decided to go by Peter as a second name (Keep in mind, I identified as a female at the time but I thought of Peter as a gender neutral name (If you think about it, all names are inherently gender neutral.). Yet, I still didn't feel right. There was a weight off my chest, but it wasn't fully off. I started feeling uncomfortable with my deadname being used & started using Peter as my first name. But then I realized she/her pronouns weren't working for me either once I made the leap to being called Peter- I asked people to refer to me by any, but secretly I meant don't call me she/her. I started asking those close to me to use he/him and they/them interchangeably for a week, and I realized he/him made me more comfortable than both she/her and they/them. It was at that moment I realized I wasn't a female. I was a male, born in the wrong body. (I know I realized I was FtM pretty late in life, but keep in mind during my teen years I was coerced into following some pretty crappy ideologies + the environment I grew up in IRL just wasn't for trans people + Just had an incredibly low self esteem growing up to realize the reason I felt miserable was because of dysphoria.). And then I realized.. Embracing my Peter kin was the core reason that led me to figuring out my true identity. If I hadn't accepted it & let cringe culture take over my life, I would've never realized my true self. I would've stayed closeted and self conscious my whole life. I'm proud to say I'm a happier person now after coming to terms with both things.. I'm planning on starting testorone once everything in my life is settled- I'm currently in college and work a 9-5 job, so once I graduate & move from my state I'm excited to start the path of turning into my true self. I'm glad I got to share this story with yall, I used to be embarassed about it but I've learned to embrace the "cringe " sides of me, realizing I was much happier.

#family guy #kin #peter griffin

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my-castles-crumbling · 1 month

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Something I find really challenging is the fact that i only started thinking about my gender identity after graduation high school. It’s been a year since I’ve been questioning my gender, and I finished high school a year and a half ago.

I feel as though I can’t fully identify as anything other than cis bc it’s taken me too long to figure out. I also feel like I express myself rather cisgendered as well. Like I am not masc in any way, but also not femme. Just me. Just a ‘girl’ presenting person, even tho I don’t believe I am a girl.

I also feel as though I’ll never be able to talk about my gender to anyone I know bc the second someone doubts me, I’ll just agree and be like, ‘you know what, it doesn’t matter’. Bc I don’t want to make it a big deal and I hate explaining myself.

I also feel like I doubt myself a lot.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense but I just needed to talk about it and your blog is the most safest space!

(Also, introducing myself as the Yellow anon as I’m always ranting and being an anon in your asks)

Hi Yellow!

Let me ask you something: I didn't start questioning my gender until after I graduated college. Does that make me less nonbinary? Did it take me too long to figure it out?

(I'm hoping you'll say no?)

Listen, I totally get that feeling. A lot of times, I feel like I wasted my teens being a 'girl' and trying to fit into the gender binary when I clearly don't.

But the thing is, this is when I figured it out. And this is when you figured it out. It doesn't make you any less of who you are.

As far as the way you present...gender identity and presentation are two different things. It's is completely okay to wear femme clothing and still identify as something other than a girl.

And listen, I get doubting yourself. It's so hard to stay true to yourself and your feelings, especially when people are doubting you. But remember that you are valid and important, and your feelings are real. Keep reminding yourself of that, and I'm here to remind you any time you need it!

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas #gender #gender stuff

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submissive-and-readable · 3 months

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Skater Boy by Anthony Nerada

Source: Audiobook ARC from NetGalley

Release date: 6 February

Genre: young adult contemporary romance

If you like: queer coming of age, explorations of toxic masculinity, pop-punk, flawed protagonists trying to be better, Sk8ter Boy by Avril Lavigne but gay

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

Synopsis

Stonebridge High’s resident bad boy, Wesley “Big Mac” Mackenzie, is failing senior year—thanks to his unchecked anger, rowdy friends, and a tendency to ditch his homework for skateboarding and a secret photography obsession. So when his mom drags him to a production of The Nutcracker, Wes isn’t interested at all . . . until he sees Tristan Monroe. Mr. Nutcracker himself.

Wes knows he shouldn’t like Tristan; after all, he’s a ballet dancer, and Wes is as closeted as they come. But when they start spending time together, Wes can’t seem to get Tristan out of his head. Driven by a new sense of purpose, Wes begins to think that—despite every authority figure telling him otherwise—maybe he can change for the better and graduate on time.

As a falling out with his friends becomes inevitable, Wes realizes that being himself means taking a stand—and blowing up the bad-boy reputation he never wanted in the first place.

Content warnings

Explicit language

Bullying

Alcoholism

Underage drinking

Racism (as experienced by a Black love interest)

Past domestic abuse

Childhood trauma

Smoking (cigarettes + weed)

Homophobia

Physical violence

Review

Why'd Wes have to go and make things so complicated 😔🤘

I hadn't expected to, but I found myself relating to Wes quite a bit. His experience of being labelled as a bad kid, and then only being seen as such without being given the chance to break that expectation, as well as his feelings of anger and fear and powerlessness, that no one wants to listen to him, that he can't open up to people, that he's inferior and will never amount to anything, took me right back to primary and secondary school lmao. (I'm so glad I'm not a teenager anymore.)

I also empathise with how awkward Wes feels around Tristan, or when he's trying to talk to people who aren't his friends; not knowing the right thing to say, or when he says something that comes off as angrier or meaner than he intends—that's literally me, baby!

A part I don't relate to is the bullying. Wes is like, a legit bully, like pushing kids into the lockers like in american high school movies kind of bully. While he's not the main aggressor among his friends, it still kind of hurt to read about how he hurt people in the past. I liked how his character arc developed, with him facing up to his actions and apologising to his victims, although I do think he was forgiven pretty easily; I personally would have held a grudge until I died, but good for them!

At the start of the book I was worried that this would be a whole "find a bf and magically all your problems are fixed!" kind of story, but while Tristan is definitely a motivating factor for Wes to improve himself, I really appreciate that Wes was the one who decided to take initiative and begin the first steps to becoming better.

There's layers of complexity to Wes and Tristan's relationship, because (a) Tristan is Black, and so deals with racism that Wes could never understand, (b) Tristan is out and Wes is not, (c) Tristan is a perfectionist and has a goal and life plans, while Wes is flunking high school with no plans to apply for college, (d) Wes had an abusive childhood, and Tristan has loving supportive parents, and (e) Wes is poor and Tristan is wealthy.

These are a lot of issues to handle in one book, and while I feel like the author does a good job discussing and resolving most of these elements, there's one point that I feel didn't get fully resolved, and that's the wealth disparity between them. Wes is super aware of this, he constantly notices the differences between the way they live, which makes him feel self-conscious around Tristan.

Spoiler warning, but at one point Tristan dresses Wes up in like a pricey cardigan and a polo shirt to meet his parents, and later Wes is furious and leaves early because he feels out of place and insecure, and that Tristan is trying to change who he is. Later, they talk and Wes comes to the conclusion that he was over-reacting, which, yeah, he was. But Tristan never apologises and is like "you know I would never have made you change your clothes if I knew it would make you feel bad!" He also makes fun of one of Wes's friends, and Wes wonders if part of the reason why he doesn't want to introduce Tristan to his friends was because he felt embarrassed.

I feel like this is a pretty big deal, and an obvious source of tension, that doesn't seem to get fully resolved. Most of Wes and Tristan's discussions about their relationship revolve around Wes apologising, but Tristan, even though he never does so intentionally, never apologises for making Wes feel inferior in this aspect.

I also feel that Tristan was kind of one-dimensional. From Wes's perspective, Tristan is perfect and flawless, and he puts him on a pedestal, while Wes is the one messing up. Tristan's only flaw, as far is I can tell, is that he struggles with anxiety, but he never seems to show it to Wes, for all that he encourages Wes to be emotionally vulnerable with him. I would have liked it if Tristan messed-up, or needed Wes to support him or comfort him in some way (Wes does support him, at near the ending, but that doesn't really count), to balance out their relationship a bit, instead of always having Tristan encouraging him, and having Wes mess up and make up for it.

The climax of this book gets really chaotic, huge shit goes down, like life-ruining shit. He manages to work it all out in the end, but I feel that it came way too easily, especially the problems he had with his friends. I feel like it got dismissed as some sort of misunderstanding, like Wes was the one making a big deal out of nothing. Afterwards, he and his friends talk it out very maturely, but where was all that maturity when shit was going down!!

I realise that a lot of my review sounds like I'm complaining, but this is really worth a read! The way this book discusses toxic masculinity, emotional vulnerability, dealing with trauma (because Wes is very clearly traumatised) is so well-done, and you can tell from the author's note that he put a lot of love and thought into this book. I would discuss this more but this review would get very spoilery.

To finish off this review, here are some nitpicks! These are minor details and do not affect the overall story! Some of these are purely personal issues I have that may not apply to other people!

Wes is stated to be a punk, and a lot of this book (the title, the chapter titles, the marketing) is about pop-punk, or scene music in general. But Wes doesn't seem to listen to pop-punk? The only band he mentions listening to is Metallica, which, last I checked, is a metal band. He wears a Linkin Park t-shirt once (huge slay) and mentions the My Chemical Romance reunion (double slay), but that's about it. He seems to be more of a metalhead tbh, which there's nothing wrong with, but I was hoping for more pop-punk references. (This sounds greedy, since almost every chapter title is a pop-punk reference, and I did appreciate that, but I wanted more!!)

I didn't vibe with the audiobook narrator. I'm kind of (very) picky about audiobooks, so the fact that I didn't dnf shows that he did a decent job at least, but I feel like he missed the mark on narrating the dialogue. Sometimes I couldn't tell the difference between Wes's internal narration and when he was actually speaking which was confusing, and the narrator also read everything in this sad, hesitant sort of voice, which works for the overall vibe of the story, but makes the happy, lighthearted moments in the book feel sad as well.

Minor spoiler, Wes's mom got him and his friends tickets to see Metallica, but later they start growing apart and the concert is never mentioned again (unless I somehow missed it?), so its unclear if they did go to the Metallica concert. I need to know if they went, because if they skipped out on it due to their beef, I will be very sad on their behalf.

#skater boy #anthony nerada #booklr #book review #lgbt #queer #queer books #mlm #coming of age #young adult #gay #lgbtq #lgbtqia #achillian #gay romance #gay books #mlm representation #mlm romance

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beardedmrbean · 10 months

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You know who I am I just can’t say this on my blog I’ll be attacked so here it is…

All these people should have 4 years saved to pay off their student loans but their dumb as fuck went out buying new cars wasting money then they will complain about the evil government

Woe is me I’m a poor innocent little baby

Grow up. Make the payments. Shut your mouth and work to pay off debt

didn't know right off, did by the third sentence tho lol.

There's the 800,000 people that got their debt cleared this week or somewhere around that because they faithfully paid their bill for the allotted time they were supposed to pay it for at the rate they agreed to when they signed for the loan.

$39 billion I think was the number I saw

Those were 20-25 years old, so it's not like this is anything new and people haven't been well aware of how messed up this system is for a long time, wild to see people walking in and saying 'how was I to know' bro we've been at this since before you were born, if you didn't know it's your fault at this point.

Smart enough to get into college you should be smart enough to know you will have to pay the money you borrowed to do that back.

The ethics of the whole thing and if it should be fully taxpayer funded or not is completely irrelevant here, that's a red herring argument meant to distract from the fact that even if that's true it still doesn't matter since you signed on the dotted line stating that you understand the obligation you're taking on.

This guy is extra smart

Gets into harvard, stanford, yale, yada yada yada.

Says nope, I'm gonna graduate with my degree and no pile of debt.

Like I said before tho, people were yelling about the cost of college and the whole student loan trap when I was in high school in the mid 90's, even more widely known now, you only have yourself to blame.

In most cases, obviously there's exceptions but not a lot of them I'd wager.

CA will cover tuition for 2 years of community college, so here you can get your associates and big chunk of general ed out of the way and then do 2 years at a traditional college and have way less debt, that's always been a option.

And as for the current forgiveness kerfuffle I hope that this is the last time I have to remind people that

Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi screwed you over, they played the public in order to generate outrage at the Supreme Court for upholding the constitution.

They had 2 years of congressional sessions where the democratic party controlled congress and the white house, they could have passed something and they didn't, they had the authority and they did not take advantage of it.

Because they didn't want to, because they don't care about getting people out from under piles of debt if they can instead use that pile of debt to increase their level of control.

no need to get mad at Clarence Thomas, he did his job, nancy on the other hand didn't, instead she hid behind J6 nonsense and other Trump bs.

#anonymous

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rimouskis · 2 years

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I don’t even mean to get emo in a way but it’s crazy to think about just how he started so young. From the age of 7 and adults making him to cry to them being 15 and Don cherry of all people always making fun of him and alluding to horrible things about him and his sexuality all because he didn’t like the way he looked. Then him getting to the pros and once again all his opponents immediately going for him violently. I mean I remember when he got his teeth knocked out for the first time I think in 2007 or maybe 2006 commentators were laughing about it saying how finally he’d “keep his mouth shut”. All of that done before he even 20 years old, the abuse he took and he’s still a good person. I just think about that sometimes

I'm going to answer this question and a few others down below, just because they're pretty long!

absolutely. a big part of my interest in ~the rimouski years~ is because that really felt like a pressure cooker to me with the lockout, and how sid was the focal point of hockey media in north america due to it. that interest carried over into the big leagues, and I love, LOVE, sid's reputation as a whiner and a baby because it's such clear growing pains! even for a kid who was used to taking punishment on the ice, the transition to NHL-caliber roughness was hard for him, as was swallowing his protests when shit didn't get called.

for sure. I don't want to make it out like the crosbys were on the verge of poverty because of hockey, but they weren't well off, and I also find it interesting how that fact itself has contributed a lot to the "blue collar hero" characterization sid's gotten. part of that, I think, is due to the "pittsburghification" of him—pgh's history as a working class steel town is something that a lot of people, older yinzers especially, tend to cling to with a double-sided pride/shame. pride in the hard work and the distinction is offers them from yuppies, and also some shame about being the rust belt, about being a town that fell from grace when the industry collapsed, about being distinctly working class in a way that feels "lesser than" in comparison to common vacation spots along the east coast.

I think the nhl and the penguins very much wanted to blend sid's history into pgh's history seamlessly. if they could make him out to be a blue collar hero, well, then it would be fitting for him to wind up in a blue collar place. it's funny, considering he was a millionaire by the time he was 17. again: I don't want to deny his family's financial status growing up (from what I know, neither of his parents were college graduates and did not have "skilled" [extreme air quotes there] labor to sell), but sid hasn't been working class since he was in his teens. he's a multimillionaire now. more than that, he has now earned the most career earnings EVER in the NHL. he is very, very rich, and the fact that he's REMAINED a ~working class guy~ in terms of public perception and yinzers' protectiveness about him speaks VERY highly to both his + the pens' PR teams and his own humble nature.

it makes me laugh to think about the whole "he hasn't had media lessons!" argument troy put up only to have someone else in hockey say "yeah brisson totally coached him," haha. I think culturally hockey does place a lot of emphasis on "saying the right thing" in those sort of interviews, and sid's lifelong obsession with hockey probably meant he was already incredibly used to the language and speaking patterns.

about him chilling out though — part of that is absolutely age, but you know what I miss about rookieish sid? the fully-bellied laugh! the infamous "giggle-honk!" he doesn't do it as often (when he's recorded) anymore!

#ask #anonymous

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bettsfic · 2 years

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hi, i'd appreciate a little advice on this. as someone who is currently seeking a career in creative writing similar to yours, do you have any advice for those just starting out? i don't have much connections to my local industry and i don't really have a mentor that would help me with this.

if it helps, i am an undergrad (but soon to be fresh grad).

congrats on your soon to be graduation!

your best bet is going to be applying for cw MFA programs, which would offer both connections and mentorship. you're going to want to look for fully funded programs, which is to say, programs that cover your tuition and offer a monthly stipend in exchange for teaching composition or cw. don't apply anywhere you have to pay for. it's never worth it to go into debt, and moreover, paid programs are a nightmare mix of gross wealth and competition for what little funding there is.

but! if you're still in your early 20s, there's no harm at all in holding off on the MFA to work somewhere full-time for a while. i thought my 5-year gap between my undergrad degree and my grad degree made me a poor candidate for grad school but really that's what most people do. undergrad puts you through the ringer and there's no shame in recovering from academic burnout for a while. one good thing about a career in writing is that there's genuinely no hurry. the more life experience you can pick up, the more inspiration there is to draw from. so have fun, don't rush, live your life as close to the way you want to live it as possible.

the first and maybe hardest thing to accept about a career in writing is that you'll always have to split your attention. almost no one is a full-time creative writer. but the good news is that there are lots of jobs related to writing. you could go into publishing and be an editor or agent. once you get your MFA you can teach college courses or work in a writing center. or you can go into commercial copywriting or copyediting (that's where the big money is). it's hard to make enough money to live on just your creative work, but there's a ton of money in adjacent fields.

as far as pursuing publication, i would focus on short form. read short stories, write short stories, publish short stories. (or if you write nonfiction, focus on essays.) short form allows you to practice the complete drafting, revising, submitting, and publishing process in a safer and more contained space than novel publishing. once you go through the entire process over and over again, you gain the extremely valuable, extremely rare skill of knowing when something is finished. it's absolutely necessary to reach that feeling, that little click when you know something you've written is the best version of the thing it is and more edits will only turn it into something different, not better. getting to that point lends you confidence and security in your own work.

more specifically, i recommend writing one short story, max 4k words, the best work you're capable of. now you have a writing sample for applications and awards, and something to publish. getting a good sample ready will start opening doors for you.

while you're doing research on figuring out what lit mags to send to, keep an eye out for publications looking for slush readers. there is no experience more valuable than putting yourself on the other side of the submission window. you get a very rapid understanding of what editing really is, what kinds of stories are out there, and where your own work stands. you'll also gain some connections that way, and maybe some editorial mentorship. these positions aren't paid, but they also aren't a huge time commitment, and it's worth its weight in gold in helping you accept rejection. the rejections you receive hit different when you know how it feels to vote thumbs down on someone else's work.

if your goal is to eventually get an agent and then a book deal with a big publisher, know that the road there is a long one, and that's a good thing. i feel horrible for writers who debut at 25 to major acclaim. it may seem like a dream come true, but it's a curse. first of all, now that i'm in my 30s, i'm glad it's taken me this long to get where i am, because i'm confident enough in my work and i know what i'm doing well enough to push back on things like bad edits. i can, and have, turned down people interested in my work who didn't actually vibe with it. you want to hold out for the people who love your work for the same reasons you love it. it takes a long time to cultivate that kind of security, the belief that you and you alone know what's best for the story you're trying to tell. too many voices too early on can ruin something beautiful.

also, in literary fiction, the debut novel is a big deal. it might be in other genres too but specifically in literary fiction, a book deal isn't just a book deal. it's your introduction into the community. once you have a book out, you'll start getting ARCs for blurbs, requests for interviews, signings, juror requests, maybe even commission work from big magazines. so it's not just "oh i finished a novel time to publish it i guess." a debut is "this is the absolute best work i'm capable of, i know and have faith in what it's doing, i know my own unique style and aesthetics, i know where it belongs, and i'm ready to share it with others."

that might be hard to take in and i know i didn't listen at all when my mentors told me not to rush publishing. i put a lot of undue pressure on myself when i should have been focusing on craft, and i also queried agents when my first manuscript was only half-baked. i can't tell you how badly i regret that. i went out with my second manuscript instead, which was a bigger risk but i was far more confident in it, and which signed me an agent and got me on the desks of dozens of editors. one editor put a bid in but her publisher said no. so i ran a marathon only to get to the finish line and have to turn back. i started writing it in 2016; the last round of submissions was late 2021. five years, and it's still not published. and it may never be. but there will be other manuscripts, other editors, and other opportunities. and as time passes i only gain a sharper understanding of what i'm trying to get on the page.

meanwhile, there's plenty to do before big publication. put your work out there. apply for workshops, residencies, grants, awards. start building up your CV. keep writing and generating new work to build up your portfolio. keep an eye out for opportunities that come your way. just yesterday a residency reached out to me to ask me to be a juror on their application board and in exchange they're giving me a month-long stay at their place (i can't tell you how much i love residencies. pain in the ass to apply for but a godsend once you get in). you just never know what's going to open doors for you; a publication in a small magazine might net you award nominations, maybe even award wins. the more you put yourself out there, the more rejections you'll receive, yeah, but the acceptances can be huge. unfortunately that means it's hard to plan your future, but it also helps you develop faith in yourself knowing good things will come your way at some point, as long as you keep writing and sharing your work.

#writing advice #the writing life

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southslates · 2 years

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I'm a Zutara stan but I sometimes think Aang and Mai were what Katara and Zuko needed at one point. I just refuse to believe those relationships were a complete disaster for the both of them. I sometimes laugh/cringe at how salty some fics are towards their exes (because Zutara is canon!!) but I get it.. Zutara is treated much worse.

I get it and I would actually agree that there was merit to having them date at some point.

I graduated high school last week and with adulthood on the horizon, almost every single couple I know has broken up or is on the verge of breaking up. Sure, there are a few that are sticking it out and I'm sure that a few will make it past college and whatever comes next, but that amount will definitely be minuscule. The reality is most couples from grade school don't end up together--but that doesn't mean that those relationships are pointless, right? There's fundamentally a lot you can learn in a young relationship about yourself and what you want in your other relationships as you become an adult.

What bothers me about the endgame couples in ATLA is how young they are and how quickly they dedicate themselves to each other. Katara and Aang are generously the equivalents to a thirteen and fifteen-year-old, and Zuko and Mai are more like seventeen-year-olds. Because of that, I'd say the latter had more of a shot at making it, but still, that's super young.

And the fact that Katara is like, fifteen or sixteen in the comics and running around the world fully dedicated to her fourteen-year-old boyfriend? She's fifteen, her boyfriend should be secondary to her own growth.

But yeah, I agree that there was never anything wrong with Katara dating Aang and Zuko dating Mai. They were caught up in a war and maybe at some point Katara needed to date someone who gave her hope, and Zuko needed to be with someone who understood the societal pressure of being Fire Nation nobility. But that doesn't mean that they were compatible life partners, you know?

The most common criticism I see of Zutara that isn't flat out your ship is for teenage girls who love bad boys is that they wouldn't work because they're too similarly passionate. I think that this stems from The Southern Raiders which most Zutarians interpret as Zuko helping Katara get the revenge she needed, but a lot of other people see him encouraging her tendency to get carried away.

Katara and Zuko both often make brash decisions based on their own moral compasses and I like that. I think that similarity might have been an issue over some of ATLA and while they're young but as they grow (because they're literal young teens in ATLA) it could have been exactly what the world needed from young leaders.

And that's really why I believe they should be endgame because the whole opposite-personalties attract and "Aang and Mai keep Katara and Zuko in check" thing might be important and relevant when they're young but in the long run, matching personalities can compromise and understand each other better.

I'm not wholly Anti-Kataang and Anti-Maiko from what we see in the show, but I don't like the way the relationships are seen to progress. Aang is pushy with Katara in ATLA and then he never grows out of it and Katara just accepts it. And Zuko and Mai start to break apart and don't reconcile their differences (all this to say I haven't read the comics entirely and I do think Mai and Zuko definitely could have grown into a healthier relationship, we just don't see that). Maybe if the show had ended with Zutara I wouldn't have liked it because Zuko and Katara weren't ready to date at the end of ATLA. None of these characters were, they needed to deal with the trauma of the war and build healthy friendships and relationships with their families.

I'm sorry this answer is so ranty, I'm just getting out my feelings. I really hope the live action ATLA ends with no established relationships for any of these characters so that it's all open to interpretation. I just can't see how a bunch of relationships forged in wartime between twelve to sixteen-year-olds supposedly were all meant to be.

#zutara #AGAIN IM SO SORRY FOR RANTING #i have so many feels about all of this stuff #zuko #katara #antimaiko #antikataang #atla

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theladwhoisweird · 7 months

Text

"Why's Turning Twenty-One Inevitable?"

Twenty-one. The age of ripe maturity, The start of so called adulthood,

A point where I religiously looked up as a child who thought it's cool.

Now, I'm reluctantly, restlessly striding out of the adolescence wood,

Now, I'm at the end of the juvenile track and I'm standing here as a fool.

It's a milestone for almost every living person who yearns independence.

From parental confinement, young folks wanted to be uncuffed.

It's the time to build the foundation of the long run of an existence.

Upcoming pathways that we'd all conquer which are so rough, so tough.

Some are excited to turn they would be legal to alcohols and liquors.

For them, it's the period to do wild and crazy things to the most of hedonism.

Those are seems fun and indulging but not my own kind of youthful thirst.

By now, I should've been well equipped to do great things such as heroism.

I know coming of age into adulthood is such a universal thing,

I asked those who were once in that age of how was it feels,

Am I the one who would discover and find out it's meaning?

Am I seeking for an inspiration out of their past experiences and bills?

People are either pregnant or engaged or married or divorced,

Some are already graduates or still in college or on their first job,

Some move to another country or town that ended to no remorse,

Some are serving soldiers, in their own doors, on the career they love.

I'm already turning twenty-one but I wanted to turn seventeen again.

I don't want to be an adult, I just wished to reboot my highschool years.

To the fresh juvenility, I'm praying to the innocent when.

Back to the naive children, back to the clueless minors that were gone long eres.

It's the traditional time to self-sustenance and sovereignty.

It's the crown year, the coo-key, the time to be fully responsible.

Be prepared, be your own decision maker in the age of majority.

O space, O time, why's turning twenty-one inevitable?

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