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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

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thanks to doing a few rounds of akinator for winston billions at like 5am last night & the 80th question in one round being abt if your character is in love with someone, i turned to look at the camera like “no,” b/c idk whatever News winston knows of in the finale ep involves rian & while he could be keeping a more personal reaction to himself certainly, we aren’t informed about it, and it’s also a case of like, the material really not trying to touch on him Still crushing on her, such as that he may not actually be doing so, & such as that [who knows why they put that in in the first place if it didn’t matter at all]

but like also then just moving back an episode at a time it’s like well episode eleven sure he doesn’t need to have like courtlily pledged himself to rian but it’s pretty bold to just hop up & go get laid w/a stranger b/c while your would’ve been Crush is drawing other ppl’s attention by singing, you’re looking elsewhere like oh hello =) & that goes for episode ten as well like really Something like here we are at this party & everyone desires rian carnally, Except winston apparently does not lmao, that point would’ve made a world of sense if they Had actually been the ones peacing out to find some narrative consistency, but ig like the hell with that, it’s nihilism no narrative times, in fact rian gets to stop being A Character X’D but anyways folks lol like winston’s really just like “hi gamers, remember how we were talking about my interest lately” (& everyone goes “die” about it like sorry guy) when it might otherwise be prime time to try to stick to rian or at least have a moment like the 5x05 soiree & make a vague pass about something. but it’s taylor’s turn for that, for some reason, why is what all they have happen after 6x08 even like, Conducive to their dynamic resolving to a better place much less apparently required for it lmfao; is this particular step of it just about taylor’s sort of own limitations in navigating their own life lol like happiness?? well i can only maybe get that through dating someone & i can only get That through work, maybe time to see if any positive feelings towards rian could be romantic interest, that’s my best shot....wherein at this point maybe winston sure can’t be hanging off of rian’s arm this evening b/c he has to be out of the way so Taylor & Rian Time can take precedence, which is possibly true re: the next two episodes / the last two episodes of the season lol, is he standing w/trading floor guys in the finale b/c they’re besties now or b/c rian needs to be separate b/c it’s more Taylor & Rian time, not goofing around ft winston’s involvement. But it can also be true that he’s more established as buddies w/tuk at least. like how yeah he may be pushed out of the way all three eps but he may also be more Over rian, bopping up at the party like what’s up? wanting me to die? oh okay bye. then next episode he’s arms out, going off & hooking up w/someone, still sitting & talking w/rian but she takes the opportunity to insult him & there’s no effort to remind us of the quant duo in the finale, just whatever taylor & rian have going on (being the only members of tmc) like both watsonian & doylean exclusion of winston lol

but also taking it back to episode four like, that felt to me like the clearest instance of like “btw remember winston Likes her” but even then it was like “Or Maybe he does simply really wanna hang out & be friends” and that could be the case lol like they sure are tantalizingly close to friendship for much of all this, and they Do go hang out outside of work due to connecting over a Personal Interest as would sorta be the case in this scenario of like “why don’t you take me camping & i’ll bring my honed spatial algorithm” like i’m not about to say he can’t have been that enthused about anticipating forming a genuine friendship, why wouldn’t he be, & it can be both that & a bit of [also remnants of a crush] motivation....and i mean not like we Know what all they got up to while doing media analysis together in ep ten like. yeah feasible that analysis is all they really got up to, could well be intensive, but it also seems feasible you know, there were interludes about other things, anyone have a meal together and/or unrelated conversation? anyone kiss or hook up? it’s a Hilarious(tm) aspect of like, all winston’s dynamics that there’s never any Real resolution like, even now it’s like well i guess riawin’s not truly completely certainly a non factor / possibility at this juncture, but that’s thanks to the fact that you know, characters aren’t regarding him as serious or important, we never get material wherein say, anyone has a real conversation with him that we get to see, or with anyone else About him, or say, their thoughts / feelings on their own relationship / dynamic with him, so in that way it remains this more Ambiguous Zone where you can fill in blanks / What If about what’s unexplored b/c like, sorry, if i was supposed to automatically sense & accept some Factual Premise that winston is a romantic / sexual nonentity & even too much of a joke to have a friend? first of all i did not, second of all you’re the ones telling us he has crushes & exes & is now just going off getting laid cuz he felt like it & is maybe already regular friends with tuk, so what do you want

but anyways you go “even episode burn rate may not Necessarily have been about winston having a crush vs him being aware of this Quant Duo emphasis that’s Been in place & wanting to get Hanging Out / more personal connection out of it” and really that’s like, the main instance all season of anything plausibly abt winston still having a crush on rian. episode one Introduces Them like remember the quant duo?? they’re a duo. remember how we made sure to have winston show up silently in the finale for a few shots of rian standing right beside him? like yes what of it. and then they go well who knows, but here’s episode two, little quant duo moment again. ep three, Really quant duo moments. ep four, this Maybe [remember winston has a crush] thing that might also just be about him trying to explore / extend this duoship Somehow that’s more ambiguous at least. ep five, god, quant duo, ep six, sure leans on the like “why’s rian want to trip him & take his lunch” thing but also we end on her smiling at him / looking to him like “[all this], am i right??” like. ep seven dear god the quant duo. even ep eight like hey they’re standing together, and then aproposly winston just kind of inexplicably vanishes and the ep becomes this combo of taylor & philip and taylor & rian (subset: rian & wags, apparently) material. and then frankly ep nine kind of counts too because it’s Something that for both quants this is the one episode they simply don’t show up for some reason. ok. then obviously the last quarter of the season moves focus to all that and the quant duo material becomes rian ditching winston after hanging w/him all episode, rian insulting winston, winston going :\ about waving through a window at whatever rian and taylor are up to, like genuinely probably his guess is about as good as anyone’s.

it’s also Something Or Other that “rian pwns winston” is a lot more explicit & repeated this season than “is this material based on winston particularly having a crush vs just liking rian more generally / hoping they’re friends?” like ep one she pwns him out of nowhere, prince jumps in too for no reason when he’s supposed to be trying to ingratiate himself to everyone And this is the sole exception we see to that. ep two, why’s she have to go “oh you cannot really surf ever” like why shouldn’t he. ep three, we get winston directly commenting on their dynamic, that rian has and does hurt him & he thinks she’s doing it on purpose (why wouldn’t he, & seems that she is, tf else is going on. and/or else she’s just really unconcerned abt the effect of [hurting him] even if that’s not her main motivation), oh but also people see them as a duo & they’re also operating as one / completely amicable sometimes, such as like 7 sec out from rian pwning him & him going “stop trying to hurt me” & her completely ignoring that. ep four, that she pwns him again but also kind of lets up on it b/c he thought she’d responded positively actually. ep five, for some reason there needs to be an aside from rian about how winston’s not like the vlogger guy or his followers, who aren’t like posited as Respected Parties by anyone anyways, but the only consistency here is foregone conclusion disdain for winston i guess. ep six like he can’t get his phone back lol it’s more indirect like, it’s a Practical Matter for rian & she’s not very concerned about him beyond that, & kind of like “oh right you have your own perspective here, forgot about that smh whatever though” like, not the friendliest, but then suddenly episode seven is like remarkably same wavelength same page Utterly Amicable where go figure, the only particular instance of disdain / dismissiveness towards winston comes from taylor, ep eight no disdain, ep nine they’re both gone, but ep ten & eleven both with giving him shit out of nowhere & for no reason when he’s trying to like, have a conversation, but apparently oh speedrunning personal bonding with taylor with conversations and hugs in there lol like well. discouraging perhaps b/c why wouldn’t it be.....like i totalled up what i’d consider to be like discrete instances of positive (amicable) vs negative (the dislike/disdain realm) moments from rian directed at winston & surprisingly it came out even by my interpretation & count, but it also is like....that shit isn’t weighted lol, distinct instances of rian directing a smile at winston vs going out of her way and verbally insulting him, the smiles have counterparts of shooting him more negative Looks but the verbal insults do not have counterparts of her like complimenting him or hyping him up or anything, so feels a bit uneven still. yet oh also she’s hung out with him outside work for personal reasons, yet oh also she’ll then turn on that shared interest to insult him And the interest he has in it like, violence on an nd wavelength there, that Sharedness of the interest as a point of connection, and for what. taylor’s making a seemingly not not romantic move here that rian rejects but is Still more personally interested in taylor than ever in other ways & sees them as like romantically desirable in theory, & apparently she’s also looking to get some but oops only in the [she’s not operating like She Is A Character Known To Us rather than “yep, this is someone who is a woman, could’ve been fan fave jean anne”] realm, but personal friendly connection with winston???? waste of time, hurt him for it, he doesn’t seem to be making a pass but apparently the abstract Potential of other ppl’s romantic &/or sexual capacities out here is something so motivating & relevant in general otherwise

where’d i even start this post. yeah like going “so where’d winston’s crush on rian end” and maybe it didn’t even make it into this season but really even the duoship was cruising along until ep ten demands rian partly be [Any Woman] suddenly & some Personal Something for taylor which kind of makes sense but idk why it’s not still more of the mentor / mentee business, was this the only way it could progress?? seems like a particularly shaky premise and like, So specific lmao. if that’s the only way to connect to rian Or taylor no wonder winston’s getting nowhere. haha no but really he’s up against the impossible situation where everyone else has negatively judged him & it’s all about the foregone conclusion of [everything about you sucks] (And punishing him for it / treating him worse than any particular individual does other people, certainly) that precludes connection and he can’t just unilaterally put in enough effort in the right ways so that he can create a good relationship b/w him and anyone else, but it Is all unilateral so far as we’ve seen....the tl;dr is like “why’d they do all that then” re: winston textually Liking rian at least in s5 there, but also truly it’s “why’d they do all that then” re: all the obvious emphasis & establishing of rian & winston As A Duo. would hardly be surprising if winston Was shifting more to actively pursuing friendship with tuk, who he interacts with & is interacted with as a friend, and to passively giving up on much of anything with rian, who has to like him at all in some way/s, but where their interactions are mostly on her terms & where she’ll give him shit spontaneously seemingly for her own entertainment, or because he’s like, responded to her / answered a question / provided info / talked abt something relevant to/of interest to them both / agreed with her, & who knows if she’s banked on his Liking her as a reason she’ll never have to like, consciously wonder abt whether she can hurt him enough he won’t be an amicable party towards her / someone she Can talk to at any time, apparently she doesn’t think about consequences (except that also she does, so whatever) & idk doesn’t seem to feel confident in knowing herself or what she wants or what she’s doing so it’s also just feasible idk she doesn’t know what she’s doing with this relationship / isn’t putting a world of Care And Consideration into it, we’ve hardly had a chance to see if winston hanging w/tuk rather than rian or rian & taylor is a pattern that’s been Shifted to rather than that he needed to be out of the way in Serious Finale Zone times & can now go back to mostly being around rian & being as game to talk to her in earnest at any time, seems utterly plausible b/c winston Has to, & Has, put up with anything forever b/c otherwise if the way ppl treated him like, lastingly affected him, he’d lose his panache & personality, or rather, stop expressing it around anyone here. and so far billions hasn’t really let winston have an arc, 5x05 through 5x07 looked the most like one but then after the hiatus it’s like, rian’s desk stuff is gone, her [trademark bi haircut] is grown out, the seeming Hurtling Towards Something just kind of flew out of frame b/c now it’s time to enter into the Rian & Taylor Serious Arc world & never look back......i said tl;dr before but Now tl;dr like what was making it clear winston has a crush about, was it an explanation for him getting over the rivalry immediately. but getting over it so what, they can be friends?? because what is That for, if they don’t get to do that either really, rather winston is determinedly amicable towards her up till now where Maybe he hangs out with tuk when possible as his new default, we can’t know, maybe he’s still just down to suffer forever b/c he does apparently have to do that, taylor hasn’t really given him anything since 5x05 (except the Back Pat the full season later) & he’ll still wear his tmc tee in ep one & doesn’t individually bring up any grievances w/them all season, even if we don’t know whether he’s less hyped about them at the end of the season at all, seems as matter of fact as ever like yep he’s taylor’s quant & he’s here for them, but, is he especially enthused abt anything here....yes, in 6x05, but nothing came of it. will anything come of Quant Duoship overall or was it just something else for rian to do before becoming taylor’s other bestie or something and only employee, will anything come of winston and tuk getting along completely successfully, will anything come of winston material and the fact that he’s actually a person any of these other characters could connect with. tl;dr winston

#pondering your billions fave is a full time job....''will any of this ever result in anything'' continual refrain #dynamics go all over the place in billions but they never really get started w/winston #when other people are friends it's not about one person seeing the other as primarily a joke #rian's only had thorough exchanges with winston offscreen....#if wags or taylor happens to wander onto your crisis go ahead and have a conversation that matters #winston's clearly seeking out conversations casual or otherwise all the time & what of it. he couldn't have anything to say #even when in ep ten it's bookended like rian ''ugh idc abt your interest'' then ''ugh idc abt your interest like yes i'm also interested in #the same Interest but i do not care abt Your interest'' & all their apparent thorough enthused discussions are unseen like oh ok #no idea what to make of the Duoship. has it been a joke. is it even relevant to rian or will being something to taylor be her full time job #like it is lmao but not like they weren't already doing that. and who can even guess abt winston and tuk #possible that even if they're not both punched harder as ''the punching bags are hanging out together'' in universe that like #just the handling by the material is like ah it's silly inconsequential jokes time with the joke guys #not like that apparently can't encompass ''winston earnestly hypes tuk up & everyone loves it & then he goes & gets some'' i'll take it #if billions has never thought / been willing to give winston arcs idk why start now #winston billions #i'll still be strung along hoping for it because if nothing else winston earnestly hopes for xyz so i'm hopign for it too lol #this character sure is [recurring] at all b/c of the Execution Of The Writing vs what was written in the first place....#potentially where plenty of the [winston is autistic] and [winston has genuine feelings] resides. lol. give him an arc ffs...

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callie-the-creator · 7 months

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the boy from second period

nsfw. mdni. warnings: yandere behavior, stalking, emo oc being delulu, mentions of self harm, brief smut but you’ll most likely miss it if you blink lol, you get the picture.

author’s note: the yandere in this is just an oc i whipped up for the sake of writing some yandere!emo boy hcs— 😭✋🏻 but if i’m being honest, this is more chronological hc stuff. from where he first met you to now.

• elijah was never much of a romantic. in fact, he cursed the name of love…frequently. it was becoming more of a hobby as of late. he was exhausted tired of spending valentine’s day alone, having no one to spend time with during the holidays, or spending so much money on promposals or simply ask someone to a dance only to have them reject him…

— he swore that he wouldn’t lose himself and not develop some crush to save himself from the embarrassment of his affections getting denied. lord knows that he can’t handle rejection well, as he tries to open a vein every time he does…things were better this way.

…

• that was until a few weeks into his senior year when you suddenly moved from (your school name) to his: willowbrook high.

• he only knew you were new because in the middle of his second period, you came in with a schedule in hand, asking if this was english 11 with mrs. hadley…it was. of course it was.

— at first, elijah paid you no mind. he mentally sorted you into a category with how he saw the rest of his classmates. a waste of his time.

• it didn’t help that mrs. hadley decided it was a great idea to sit you with elijah, given that he sits at a table by himself in the corner of the room. he felt almost embarrassed when he was called out and it wasn’t like he could just say ‘no,’ especially not in front of all these people…so, he endured it.

• for now

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦

• what followed were two excruciatingly long weeks for poor elijah. the only times you two talked were brief. i mean it. 🥲

“hey!”

“…hello.”

“how are you doing?”

“fine. you?”

“i’m good. thanks for asking.”

• …and then fate had a funny way of twisting things! aka mrs. hadley assigned a partner project to the class, but the catch was that she already picked who people were going to be paired with and shockingly (yet he could see it coming from a mile away), you and elijah were picked to be each other’s partners.

— it flipped his world upside down, completely blindsiding him because this could only mean one thing: elijah was going have to step out of his comfort zone and to be forced to spend more time with you, primarily outside of school. yikes!

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦

• even though it took a little time, you and elijah started talking more, both outside and inside of school. it even got to the point where he feared that he had grown attached to you, but that’s just crazy talk!…right?

• he would even find himself stalking your socials to learn more about you as a person, so he knows what to not do casually bring up the next time he sees you

• he hated to pat himself on the back, but elijah has deemed himself as the first official friend that you’ve made ever since you came to willowbrook

— but this didn’t mean that he didn’t get jealous.

• you always had ideas on how you two could spend more time together such as giving each other playlists for song recommendations, going to the movies, things like that…but elijah didn’t like whenever you suggested doing something that concerned more than just each other’s company. crowds.

— he fucking hated crowds, mainly the school’s football games because it meant that your undivided attention wouldn’t constantly be on him.

— and it doesn’t help that you are oblivious to his blossoming crush on you and start to swoon over the cute band geeks or football players. elijah felt like a sore thumb, someone not worthy of your time…even though he knows deep down in his heart that you and him are meant to be together.

• if there is a point where he catches you talking with another guy, elijah will give him the nastiest look in all of existence.

— there are a few times where elijah has just flat-out lies to a few of your classmates and told them that you and him were dating just so they would back off. there have been lots of close calls.

• he’s one clingy bastard. he’ll admit that outright.

• after dropping you off at home, elijah will return to his house feeling pent up, and if that happens, he’ll l do one of two things:

use a sharp kitchen knife to carve your name into the thick of his pasty thigh. he will even make sure to cut a giant heart around it for extra gusto. and, yes…he does take photos of his beautiful work. he wants to send them all to you, desperately, but knows that they’ll only scare you off.

wank one off to some photos of you that you either posted or took himself, or into one of your undergarments that he was able to steal. still…his hand and your underwear pales in comparison to what pleasure you could give him. elijah wants to feel your warmth. cuddle you closely and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as he presses his naked body against yours.

• he wants you so bad…

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦

• unfortunately, all good things can’t last forever. the time for the project ended and as expected, you two passed with flying colors, but this didn’t mean that you and elijah stopped contacting each other completely, but it was…different. different from what it was.

— elijah didn’t like that. not one bit.

— he wants to be your boyfriend. he wants to be your boyfriend. he wants to be your boyfriend. he WANTS to be YOUR boyfriend!

• he has even taken up photoshopping as a hobby, so he can edit him into every single photo you have posted. oh, he can’t wait for the day where nothing but your beautiful face fills his camera roll.

— well…more than it does now anyway.

• that’s when he had an epiphany. there is a school dance coming up. as much as elijah didn’t want to blow through his money, he knew that you were worth it. all those lovely conversations you shared with him couldn’t be for nothing, right? you MUST like him back.

• and that’s how he spent the next few nights, thinking of ideas for the board and when he finally had an idea of what he could do, he wasted no time in making it for you.

• when elijah got to school, he made sure to ask you in the morning since he didn’t want to be holding the board the entire day.

• but…

• you immediately shook your head when he popped the magic question.

• he instinctively laughed at this, but not in a condescending way. he just didn’t understand why you were doing this to him. all eyes were on him, not you. you like him back, don’t you, so why are you toying with him?

• seeing that elijah clearly wasn’t getting the hint, you verbally say that you don’t want to go to the dance with him which causes him to freeze up like a scared goat.

• you’re shitting him, right? RIGHT?!

you. bitch.

you’re going to regret saying no to him.

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enchantressiren · 3 months

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❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈’𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞; 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐦.❞

Who are you and what makes you seductive? (Advice + Detailed)

Subliminal channel | Masterlist

Tips | Paid Readings

This is a tarot card reading. 3 cards were chosen. I added advice as well.

Normal intuitive readings: @sefinaa

Average word count: 1.6K

Divider

Pile 1:

6 of wands, the hanged man, and 9 of cups.

Your desire for success and your goals to get whatever you want without letting obstacles hurt you are what make you seductive. I can feel that you have the fire within you, and you don’t let other people step over you. You also have a sense of enjoyment from protecting what you want, as you are reserved with your goals. Therefore, no one can sabotage you, and you cannot sabotage yourself either because it doesn’t make any sense to you. Why have the need to sabotage yourself like in the past? You come to the realization that it's not worth it because you have this mindset where you know you deserve good things. Some of you are questioning how this makes you seductive—nowadays, it’s very rare for someone to have this mindset. To be so authentic with other people without putting on a mask. How can that not make you seductive? To be able to have other people in your fingers, yet you do not have any intention to harm them. How can these qualities not make you seductive?

You don’t even do anything, and you’re able to get people to find you so attractive that they're actually turned on by you. Some of them have fantasies about you that are very spicy, and some of them have sexual fantasies about you that they actually want to pursue. A specific fantasy I’m feeling for them is that they want you to be submissive because I feel that a majority of you are a top leaning towards a vers. I’m getting that it’s a power dynamic situation. You have this persona of a dominant person, the leadership aura, which is people’s perception of you, but in reality, you’re very soft and calm, and I think this is what makes people so intrigued by you because you’re contradicting their impression of you.

With the hangman, this card represents self sacrifice and a release for something. So I’m feeling that some people that you are close with know that you are a person who values justice, and you do have this desire to help others without asking for anything in return, which would make sense with your soft personality. I hear that a lot of men actually find this very sexy, and I have an image of someone that you are acquainted with or know. They have a bright smile, and they have black hair. They’re light-skinned, and they wear casual clothing, primarily sweatpants or jackets, and you don’t see their shirt often. This person has feelings for you, but not as a crush, only as sexual attraction. I feel that this person often daydreams about BDSM with you and desires to pull your hair and dominate you, but they also want to be pegged by you when you are their dom. I’m also feeling this person is a masochist in terms of sex, and they definitely love to call you mistress/master or mommy/sir. Some of you feel uncomfortable with these terms, and some of you like them, but I feel that if you were to get into a friends with benefit relationship, you should be open with them about what makes you uncomfortable. Also, you’re going to enjoy the relationship, as it will open up the guards that you hold dearly. This person broke through your guards and showed you happiness and freedom; however, if you don’t get into a relationship with them, then you will find it on your own terms, which is the idea you have in mind right now. Some of it is your career, some is going back to college to change your major (which is something you have been scared to do; this is your confirmation), and for the rest, it’s living a little more. I see that you already do, but intuition says, “Explore more, eat such food, do something that you want too, but couldn’t do because of x. Take this time to enjoy life to the fullest.”

Going back to what makes you seductive, I’m also feeling that your idea of love—the way that you express your affection for other people—is also another way for you to heal yourself. I’m picking up that you used to be very selfish in the past—not in a way where you did things for yourself and prioritized yourself but in a way to hurt or harm others. Some of you did not acknowledge that you hurt them, but intuition tells me you’re doing this as a way to repay your sins. People have actually noticed and started to appreciate this quality because you have opened up about it. With this quality, you were able to have another secret admirer.

Intuition tells me this is a close friend of yours or will be; she has a goofy and sweet personality, and she likes wearing 80s clothing and/or cute clothing. She likes to experiment with her makeup style and prefers purple and maroon-red lipstick or purple and/or pastel green glitter eyeshadow. If you haven’t met this person, you will meet her in 2 to 3 months.

With the nine of cups, I'm able to channel that one of the best qualities that make people find you seductive is that you know you’re worth, you’re confident, and you truly love yourself. You are so proud of yourself for how long and how hard it was for you to come back from this mindset that you grew up with and got out of. Your environment wasn’t great, and it did not have the best influences, but you were the one who taught yourself how to better yourself, not for others but for self-improvement. This is what has triggered people to find you beautiful.

“They have all the qualities I want in a person to love and cherish. I want them, but I can’t have them because they want themselves.”

You were able to offer people this desire to come after you because you could offer them some sort of safety or protection. They feel so safe with you because you’re authentic with them, and it is so hard nowadays for authenticity. But because of the hardship that you went through and the environment you grew up in, you learned to understand how important it is to be your real self. Your authentic vibration is so hard to come by because you’re able to influence people in the best possible way. That is why you have so many people after you; that’s why you’re so seductive; that's why you’re so attractive because you have one of the best frequencies, authenticity.

I finished the reading at 4:49, and 449 means you should stay open to the opportunities life brings you. That you should understand that everything happens for a reason, and I feel as if you found this reading because you were looking for a sign to keep going. So you should keep going so you can open up your horizons even more than you already have. I think you should keep this mindset, because whoever you believe in—gods, god, the universe, yourself, etc.—will help you achieve what you want. This mindset is bringing you closer to your desired self or higher self, and some of you are struggling to keep at it because it's hard, and I completely understand. But I do want to remind you that I’m incredibly proud of you and that I am with you. So if you do not have anyone, please be aware that you have me.

Pile 2:

Queens of wands (reversed), kings of sword, and the devil (reversed).

The reason you are considered so seductive is because you portray a dominant and bold persona. You have these goals in mind, and you do not sit around. You actually work hard for it and obtain the desire that you want. You also have this mindset where, like, you don’t let anyone step over you. You also feel this need to push yourself to the limit to achieve what you want because you know the harder you work, the more you can achieve. But I feel that your intuition or your inner child wants you to back it down because you don’t have to work that hard to get what you want. I’m also hearing that your inner child wants you to take it easy and relax because they know that you can achieve what you want, and it's also important to prioritize your mental health or mental diet. Because without it, you won’t be able to function properly, and I feel like the majority of you reading this pile are burned out completely, and you’re actually killing yourself about it. But it is not necessary to do such thing because it is normal behavior. Also, my intuition says to take care of your mental health before you start achieving your goal again. Another thing that makes you attractive is the determination that you possess when it comes to your hobbies. I feel as though many of you have active hobbies or vigorously challenging hobbies in order to improve your growth in knowledge and physical strength. A lot of people have noticed that you have worked tremendously on your mental concept, and they have also noticed that you possess this sexiness by creating new goals or ideas to achieve when you’re in a stagnant period of your life.

With King of Swords, I’m picking up that you have this very smart mindset with people, like you’re very intelligent, great at explaining things, persuading people, and manipulating people, but I’m truthfully picking up that you have this magical aura when it comes to your knowledge. I can’t explain it properly, but the feeling that I feel as of right now.. is like I am in a fairytale with the smartest person in the world who is guiding me into the right path or my life purpose. That is how I feel about this pile. You have wisdom, and you guide people to the right path or whatever they have in mind. You have so much intellect to share because you have experienced so much, but you also have this power to change people’s minds. You’re also very calm, and I can also feel that you use your calmness to make people fall in love with you, so I’m also picking up some of your manipulation of other people, which makes you have them in your grasp and get what you desire. But I think, despite some of you having a manipulative interest when it comes to such things, you do honor your morals. Because I feel that those who have a manipulative personality reading this pile only do it on a whim or because the person deserves it. The majority of you have a moral code and aren’t manipulative; you truly honor your morals because, in a way, it keeps you grounded from doing something that you will regret in the future. And I know that a majority of you have done actions that you have regretted, and now you’re able to use the past to make the right choices in the present moment and the upcoming future.

With the devil card, I’m actually picking up what I wrote in the second paragraph. This card stems from freedom and release, as well as releasing control. I’m feeling that a lot of you actually spoke to people about the trouble you have with manipulating other people, and I know that some people find it seductive and you have noticed it. However, I think with the devil card, you actually understand that having such power can be dangerous, and you’re trying to change the way you manipulate your admirers. Some of you are trying to let go of the satisfaction of having such control, and the rest of you are trying to release this guiltiness when you unintentionally manipulate someone. And in order to incorporate what you desire, you must understand that these desires are natural to have, and you must understand not to kill yourself over them like you keep doing. If you implement the idea that this is wrong, this is right, and this is neutral, you are going to have this ideology that every small thing you do is wrong and the small mistakes are wrong. But you’re also going to have this assumption or idea in your mind 24/7 of what is right and what is wrong, and this idea will or has already drained you, and I believe that is what you were feeling right now.

Aside from the blunt answers that I have written for you, I think the most important thing that makes you seductive or why people are drawn to you is that you put yourself out there. A majority of you have an egotistical mindset, and some of you have a self-centered mindset. I see that all this stems from trying to protect yourself so you do not get hurt, which is ok, but if you were to implement your morals into the way you speak to others, then you'd be able to achieve what you desire because I know that this pile wants to better themselves and learn to not be so afraid of getting hurt.

Now, if we are speaking about the sexual part of this reading and what makes you so seductive, then you should know it’s the way that you act. With the word seduction, it sounds very sexual, but I think with this pile, it’s more like your appearance can seduce men without even trying. You have confidence, and people don’t expect that from the way you look. You kind of are a surprise to people, especially men, as people think you are an enigma. And I see that you are because during sex you are very submissive, or you’re a bottom unless angry.

When they degrade you, it’s kind of like a thrill for you because you get this anger inside as you use anger to bring out your dominant side. You flip to your masculine energy upon them as you take control during it. I also feel that you tend to use ropes when you take control with your person, partner, or whomever, like fwb, or one night stands, and such. But I feel that you somewhat have a rougher side when it comes to taking control, and I think you kind of seek entertainment when they’re slightly in pain (which is consensually). I also feel that, in general, you like to wear tight fitting clothing and "slutty clothing." Which breaks people's perception of you because of your presence or how you speak to them. I think when it comes to your face, you look younger than your age and have a baby face. And, as mentioned before, you are more confident and egotistical, so I believe you draw many eyes towards you because of your outfit, which is what truly makes you seductive. Because a lot of men will not admit it, but they do like this type of person (I am speaking of those whom you meet), and you like their attention, so you tend to accentuate your assets. Which works, and this is why you tend to be certain of their attention as well.

Pile 3:

Six of pentacles, four of wands, and ace of swords.

As a person, you like to prioritize other people's feelings, but you seem to forget about yourself. I’m seeing a golden cup that is filled with coins, riches, and jewels. I see 4 to 5 crows circling around as they peck on the coins, and the crows are the people who are after you because you let them walk over you. The jewels, or riches, are the love and generosity you give them. But the golden cup is your heart. My intuition is telling me that you are pure as a river as it flows around a rocky area. The rock area is the weight in your heart that is trying to balance out being kind to people while also being kind to yourself and trying to understand not to be a doormat. At this moment, I’m really picking up this feeling of sadness and anger. I feel like you guys are very angry with yourself, you’re very emotional, and you’re really hating yourself at the moment because you let people walk over you and you try your hardest for them, but you don’t get the same appreciation. When you let people walk over you, you allow yourself to fill a bottle; in this case, the bottle is overflowing, and some of it has exploded for others. I can feel a lot of wrath in my heart right now as I channel this message. There are a lot of emotions, and I cannot describe them all, but you must learn to channel the anger into something that can be symbolic for you. Trying to at least communicate how you feel with other people; if they do not reciprocate, leave them immediately because you must learn to self-respect yourself; you must learn to love yourself—that is what my intuition is literally screaming to me. You can also put your anger into words, like writing a song that you do not have to publish, writing poetry, writing a story, drawing, running, punching a pillow, etc. But what I do hear is that you must communicate with other people, because letting yourself be walked over does not benefit you in the long run. It only causes you more pain, and then you have a tendency to self sabotage.

The thing is, your good heart is what makes you seductive, but only from the people who show you the same love and appreciation. People get turned on by your innocence and your kindness. I’m also feeling that there’s a particular boy in your life who has a major crush on you despite your sexuality, and they like how cute, pure, and innocent you are. They have green eyes, brown hair, and a mole on their left cheek. I hear that some of you have a mask of this “cuteness persona,” and they can see right through it. But I’m not talking about the mask that you put out; I’m talking about the pureness inside your heart despite the hardship, despite some people not showing the same appreciation, despite people walking over you, etc. Despite all this.. you still show the same love nonetheless, and I know you have anger inside of you.. but I know you still show such kindness to other people because you think that people deserve the same kindness. You believe everyone has a bad day, and you know what that’s like, so you want to spread kindness and positivity to people, and frankly, I think that’s quite gorgeous—and so does this guy.

With the four of Wands, I can see you as a person who has a lot of respect for the homeless shelters and those who volunteer. I also see you as someone who has a desire to help poor people and those who are also orphans at the orphanage. Some of you are actually already volunteering during your free time with homeless people, and you guys have a great reputation within the community. As for the rest of you, you don't have enough time for it, or your parents won’t allow it, as some of you do live with your parents due to cultural backgrounds or because you do not have enough money to support yourself. I'm feeling that the majority of you, though, do live alone, whether with a roommate or in your own apartment. But you really do want to help the homeless, which is what I can feel. With the four wands, the card is about community and support, showing a sense of security and safety. And honestly, that is what I feel with you guys. You guys are basically this tarot card. You guys have a sweet and caring soul. And you bring a sense of safety, and people feel at home with you. And as I mentioned before, this is truly one of your biggest qualities with you being seductive. People have noticed your genuineness in helping others without expecting anything in return. And you look forward to this. Your enthusiasm to help others is what has brought a lot of people to you, especially in this community. Even if you haven't started to volunteer with other people, when you do, more people will come to you because your heart is so pure. People can feel it. Try to imagine an angel on Earth. That is what my intuition is telling me and showing me this image of you where a bright white light is surrounding you and glowing inside and outside of you. That is your energy.

Another thing that makes you seductive is the way you present yourself to others with the facade when your admirers know damn well you aint innocent. You do come off as pure and innocent. But I know that a lot of you are not because you guys are some kinky people lol. I swear, I can feel you guys having a dirty (emphasis on dirty) mind. But you like to hide it with your innocent facade. And some of you watch adult content, and some of you read steamy books. You guys like the steamiest things, and honestly, some of you are ashamed of it, but please do not be; it's completely normal, and that's not something to be ashamed of. But I do like to remind you that your admirers do like this part of you; for them, it is simply a mystery. I believe they like this idea of fun, as if you’re a puzzle in the wrong puzzle box. That is the energy I feel. Because of your contradictory personality, you have achieved this idea of sexiness without even realizing it.

With the ace of swords, I feel as though you already know about the struggles and trauma you are facing. The majority of you are having a realization of what’s wrong. That you allow people to walk over you like you are a doormat. The ace of swords is, in my opinion, about strength and about how we can find solutions within our minds because we are all intelligent. I find that people go through external means to find a solution. But with you, I feel as though you’re working on it internally to understand how to give yourself more self-respect. I believe I have already mentioned this; however, I feel What makes you seductive is self-explanatory. I believe that with the energy that I’m channeling, your last seductive quality is how you work on your own problems without bringing other people down and asking for help. You rely on yourself because you know that people will always come to you for advice. I can tell that you have come to the realization that you are the key that opens up people's worlds, and you open it up, expand their horizons, and make them understand their worth. So now you’re embodying this idea, this ideology, onto you, and I feel that as of now everything makes a lot of sense. I feel like this is why I could not channel your message for 2 weeks because your energy just changed. When you read this, you will have shifted to the right path, as my intuition says.

I hear my intuition tell me that some of you wanted to ask a question, but then you guys are looking at tarot card readings on Tumblr, and some of you are finding them on different sources. I also feel like some of you guys are using those spinning wheel generators with yes, no, and maybe for questions that need to be answered. I need to tell you that the answer that you are looking for is within yourself, but you do not accept it because you do not like the answer. Sometimes we have questions about life and we want a different answer, and sometimes when we find out, we want to change it because that's not what we want, but that does not help us in our path and how we can enjoy life, so you must listen to yourself and your intuition because all of you do not listen to it at all. Some of you say logic this, logic that, and some of you say or listen to what your heart feels at that very moment, and both of these are ok, but it is important to prioritize your intuition because it knows best. And I understand what it’s like to follow logic more than your intuition, as this is how human brains function because of what society taught us and this is how we have grown up. However, it is important to prioritize your intuition in these circumstances if you want to heal from the trauma that you’re putting away from fear.

I know that a majority of you wanted to come here and find out what makes you seductive, but you got more advice than qualities, and I believe it’s because you need to focus on your healing. I did mention 3–4 qualities, which is very true for you, so do not worry that you are not seductive because you are, and I can feel your energy. It’s very beautiful. However, I want you to really focus on healing yourself and saying positive affirmations. Try to at least allow yourself to disconnect from those who do not treat you well, and make sure to learn how to say no and prioritize yourself so you don’t end up in a rabbit hole. Because I feel your emotions right now, and it has a lot of anxiety, and that is what I’m feeling right now. My heart is beating very fast, and that is what you guys feel on a daily basis, so please take care of yourself. I would truly appreciate it if you learned how to do the things that make you happy, because I feel like if I were to meet you, I would want to give you a hug, and I don’t like to do it that much. I feel like you guys need so much affection and love, and your inner child is hurting, so at least show them that love. So prioritize yourself, make sure to take care of yourself, and do not worry if people do not like you when you learn to do better for yourself. You're doing this for a reason, so you can become your higher self. The people who are meant to stay in our lives are meant to be with us and will help us achieve our higher selves. For those who are not meant to stay with us, I truly believe they are a lesson. I feel like they are there to teach us something so we can become the people we are meant to be, but we cannot become them if we don’t learn what’s right for us.

I also feel like some of you need some words of encouragement, so allow me to be that person.

“You are a strong person, and I truly believe that you are meant to do great things in life. I truly believe and I see your future that you will be happy and you will have the most beautiful things you cannot imagine as of now, but when it does happen, your heart will be content and you will find the person who makes you feel all giggly inside, whether that’s a platonic lover or a romantic lover. Your family does not despise you as much as you want to believe. It is true that your family cares for you. I’m not talking about your biological family, as the majority of you have a lot of trauma and a shitty family; I’m speaking about those who are friends or coworkers, or even your pet(s) or one of your siblings. They care about you, and they love you. A family does not have to be blood related. It can be anyone; maybe your favorite YouTuber or social media creators are like family to you; then, so be it, and they care about you. I feel as some of you feel it with me.. I prefer to be humble, but I feel like some of you feel like I am there to help, that I listen, that I care, and that you enjoy my content and that I’m like family to you, so be it. People love you, and people care about you. I care about you, and I enjoy your company, whether it’s anonymous or not, but you must know that you are not worthless. You are worthy and you are so loved right now, and I can feel this sense of peace right now as I channel your message. I can feel this sense of comfort, and some of you right now are taking a picture of this or screen recording it. And I also feel some of you are crying because I can feel your inner pain or because I understand you (because people don’t), and I am glad I can be the light for you. I am glad you found this pile because it's meant for you. I am delighted and blessed you want to change yourself and that you want grow as a person and feel more safe within yourself. And I know you are scared right now because you do not know what will happen, but do you know that this journey will be beautiful. It will not be all rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it will be skulls and lightning. But that is how all journeys are, and at the end, it’s always the most beautiful of them all. And that is who you will become. I can feel this beautiful and mesmerizing energy from your higher self. It’s so calming and so soothing. I feel like I’m in heaven right now. I feel peace, I feel happy, and I feel like crying, and honestly, I feel like once you achieve them, you will feel the same peace I feel right now.” —my intuition.

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thankskenpenders · 7 months

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Amy's fortune cards

The Sonic fandom has long been the kind of fandom that takes minor details very seriously, for better or worse. On the one hand, this means fans will really dig for the diamonds in the rough, latching onto fun character interactions, animations, bits of background worldbuilding, and more in pieces of Sonic media that many would write off as "the bad ones." But it also feels like every week another needlessly hostile debate over Sonic minutia erupts on Twitter, whether it's over individual lines of dialogue, fanart that makes Tails' shoes blue, or the ideal length and volume for Sonic's quills.

So it was probably inevitable that a fandom-wide debate would erupt upon seeing Amy's new gameplay style in the DLC for Sonic Frontiers, which takes the once-obscure fact that she enjoys reading tarot and shines a spotlight on it like never before.

I mean:

The thing is, while I basically always try to tune out Sonic fandom bickering... for once, I kind of sympathize with the detractors? Don't get me wrong, I like Amy's tarot stuff, and people on all sides of the discussion are being overly nasty about their opinions, as usual. (Sonic Twitter remains my personal hell.) But when I set aside the hyperbole and zoom out, I do think I understand why some fans are put off by the sudden shift in focus for the character, even if I think it's cool.

It's complicated. Let me attempt to present the cases for and against Amy's fortune cards

For years, I was always one of those fans who thought it could be fun if they played with Amy's tarot reading, or even leaned into some kind of magic with her. Part of that is my own biases showing, but there's just something that makes sense there, especially when you look at Sonic, Tails, and Amy as a trio. (I would argue that's the real "Team Sonic" these days, especially in the comics where Knuckles is more likely to be stuck on Angel Island or otherwise doing his own thing.)

You could argue that Tails is all about logic, relying on science and technology and deductive reasoning to solve problems. But Amy is all about emotion. She wears her heart on her sleeve, is extremely empathetic, and is very prone to magical thinking - both figuratively and sometimes literally. Her origin story has always been that her tarot cards told her it was her destiny to meet Sonic on Little Planet. She's claimed to be able to "sense" peoples' presences - particularly Sonic's. She's the type to believe that The Power of Love is a literal magical force. So, on some level, it makes sense to mirror Tails's science by having Sonic's other best friend believe in magic. And then Sonic is somewhere in the middle, primarily following his own gut instincts but taking advice from both of them as needed. This isn't totally accurate to how their dynamics actually function in canon stories, but I think it's a mode that could work for them.

Going off of that, it's fun to lean all the way into Amy being a magical girl, or even a witch, using her fortune telling as a foundation. Take, for example, this version of Amy from Diana Skelly's old Sonic cast redesigns from before she freelanced for Archie and IDW. This is one of MANY such redesigns for Amy.

Fast forward to the 2020s, and Amy's tarot cards are, in fact, finally getting brought up again in canon. Which is fun! I like seeing that. I like all of the individual stories involving Amy's fortune cards. This is a fun character trait for Amy, a fun nod to old lore, AND a fun storytelling device, all in one. It's really cool that the Sonic universe has its own thematically appropriate arcana, and that the cards are getting made as physical merch. And sure enough, the official card backs and borders were designed by none other than Diana Skelly, in yet another cool example of an ascendant fan leaving their mark on the series.

BUT... when you step back and look at the big picture, I get why some fans find this shift in focus jarring. At the moment, it's starting to feel like every new story about Amy involves her fortune cards to some degree.

The most recent mainline comic arc to feature Amy as the lead character, 2021's Trial by Fire arc, prominently features a sequence where she reads fortunes while camping with the girls. The Origins version of Sonic CD now bookends the game with scenes of Amy and her tarot cards. Sonic randomly mentioned it in a scene in Frontiers. And now, just this week, we got the (very cute, gorgeously illustrated) Amy's 30th Anniversary comic with a story revolving around Amy's tarot cards, followed the very next day by the Frontiers DLC in which she gets a brand new tarot-based moveset. Even her base melee attack now has her throwing tarot cards instead of swinging her hammer. Again, I like all of these individual things, but after years of it almost never coming up at all, it's VERY noticeable that Amy's tarot cards are suddenly everywhere.

To be fair, I'm looking at this from the perspective of a superfan who's actively following ALL Sonic media. Casual fans - especially kids - aren't necessarily going to be reading the comics every month, buying the thousandth rerelease of the Genesis games, or playing the ultra-hard new alternate ending DLC for a game that came out last year. Each of these stories is going to be someone's introduction to the idea that Amy can read tarot, and that's probably part of the idea behind this unified push.

But to play devil's advocate, for my fellow superfans, I understand why it feels like a very minor footnote of Amy's character is suddenly becoming the entire focus of her personality. While Amy has always been said to enjoy fortune telling, that wasn't really a character trait in and of itself, but rather an example of her being a typical girl who hopes she'll be able to find true love one day. It's less that Amy can literally predict the future and more like her using a cootie catcher or going "he loves me, he loves me not" while picking the petals off of a flower. So I get not vibing with this stuff, or feeling like it's being pushed very hard out of nowhere.

What I don't agree with are comparisons like "it's like if they made Knuckles' moveset revolve around him liking grapes." Like, I get it. Ian Flynn loves shoehorning in his little winking references for us nerds, and mentions of Amy's tarot cards were previously on the same level as other random bullet points from old Japanese manuals. But a multifaceted hobby like fortune telling that opens up so many narrative and aesthetic possibilities is obviously very different from having a favorite food. It's ALWAYS been a part of her story, not just a random fact, and there's no reason why the fortune telling can't be elevated to something more.

And, hell, even if it wasn't an established character trait, there's nothing inherently wrong with injecting new ideas into a character. One of the best Amy stories in recent years, the Free Comic Book Day special "Amy's New Hobby" written by Gale Galligan, came up with the idea that Amy's secretly been drawing little comics about her and her friends. Is this based on Lore? No. But it's cute, and helps tell the story of a younger Amy who's still coming out of her shell as both a hero and a friend.

Certain fans are also looking at Amy's Frontiers moveset and using it as evidence that once again the Vile American Contributors like Ian are CORRUPTING Sonic Team's perfect vision of Sonic with their misinterpretations. And like. Come on. Ian does not control the gameplay. He's a freelance writer. The tarot stuff is clearly something that Sonic Team likes if they made it the basis of Amy's new moveset - and, you know, if they keep approving comics and animations about Amy's fortune telling. None of this gets made without their blessing, and lord knows how much they can micromanage shit and shoot down ideas over the most minor of details.

Like, yeah, Amy's fortune telling was probably conceived less as a sign that she Knows Magic and more as a pretty mundane hobby for a lovesick young Japanese girl to have. But you're gonna sit there and tell me that using Amy's tarot cards for more than that could only be the result of a cultural misunderstanding? That nobody in Japan uses tarot card theming and aesthetics (or the general idea of magical cards) for the cool factor? Stardust Crusaders? Persona? The Astrologian class in FFXIV? Cardcaptor Sakura?? Hello??? Do you think Capcom put Gambit in Marvel vs. Capcom ironically because they thought using magic to throw cards at people was stupid? There's tons of precedent for this! It's nothing like Knuckles throwing grapes at people, be for real.

Giving Amy a very magical girl-esque moveset also just makes a lot of sense. For decades her hammer attacks have literally made sparkly heart shapes appear around her. Leaning into both that and her tarot cards in her new moveset makes a lot of sense to me.

But, admittedly... I do think it's very odd that her hammer is treated as a secondary element here, rather than having her primarily use her hammer and adding the cards for extra flair. If hitting the attack button made her swing her hammer instead of throwing cards, I'm not sure we'd even be having this discussion right now.

But the tarot-cycle and Amy riding her hammer like a witch's broom are fucking SICK and I will not concede on this point

The thing is, this whole fortune card discourse is but a small piece of a bigger problem. Amy's been a character who needed some work for ages, but there's basically nothing you can do with her without pissing SOMEONE off.

Years of stories where Amy's crush was her primary motivator and Sonic went "Ew, cooties!" have lead many casual fans to believe that being Sonic's obsessive fangirl is Amy's entire personality. At best people might call her Sonic's Minnie Mouse. This isn't just a matter of Amy having haters within the fandom - venture outside of that bubble and you'll realize that this is how MOST video game playing people seem to see her to this day. I don't feel like this is a fair assessment of the character, but this idea didn't come from nowhere. No matter how much good deeply entrenched Sonic fans may see in their old dynamic where Amy perpetually chases Sonic, this is a very real problem that Sonic Team has to contend with for their leading girl. Of course all those games where the way-past-cool protagonist thought Amy was annoyingly clingy and tried to get away from her made people think less of her.

If new stories were to go back to emphasizing Amy's crush on Sonic a little more, they'd probably be taken as confirmation that Amy's just the girl with a crush on Sonic and that this is her entire personality. Conversely, when the crush is played down, you piss off the hardcore SonAmy fans who don't seem to understand that they're Charlie Brown and Sega is Lucy holding the football. You can't win.

And so here we are. In the absence of what was once her defining trait, now reduced to an occasional blush or wink in Sonic's direction, new stories are trying to mine Amy's past for additional material to work with. Having been a thing fans wanted to see for years, right now we're getting a lot of tarot, but we're also getting reminders of her compassionate nature and her desire to go out of her way to help the little guy. This is an ongoing process. I continue to hope that her bubbly, exuberant demeanor can shine more in future stories. Now, I also hope that the tarot stuff gets balanced out a little better with other traits of hers. But I don't want it to go away. I think it's fun.

This course correcting is far from exclusive to Amy. Knuckles is getting stories that remind us that he's a competent fighter, an experienced treasure hunter, and even a self-taught archaeologist after years of him being perceived as either the dumb one or just the guy who stands in front of the Master Emerald all day. And Tails has been getting some stories reminding folks that he's a capable hero in his own right and not just Sonic's timid kid sidekick.

But no supporting character will ever compete with the sheer number of new ideas Sega has tried with Sonic himself. Like Amy, his Frontiers moveset has also given him half a dozen new superpowers that he never had before, from the Cyloop to air-slicing projectile attacks to his own take on Shadow Clone Jutsu and beyond. He's also been a hoverboarder, a swordsman, a time traveler, an Olympic athlete, a racecar driver, cursed with a Flame of Judgment, imbued with alien power, a fucking Werehog with stretchy powers, and on and on and on.

If Sonic can do all that, Amy can try out using a tarot-cycle.

Anyway TL;DR the REAL problem with Amy's current characterization... is where the FUCK is Amy's bestie, Honey the Cat???????

#tkp post

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 6 months

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go for it! ; yuuta okkotsu

synopsis; yuuta’s been crushing on you ever since the first group project you had together, but he’s too nervous to confess. luckily, he has some over-eager friends willing to help! step 1: ask for your number!

word count; 7.4k

contents; yuuta okkotsu/reader, gn!reader, university au, yuuta majors in creative writing and writes poetry in his spare time <3, no curses au, yuuta is a cutiepie, he’s also a loserboy, pining and longing, one-sided love, maki inumaki and panda are wingmen (but not very good ones), fluffy vibes, gojo makes a guest appearance (stay safe), literally just yuuta being whipped for like 7k words straight

a/n; im gonna have to edit this a lot i think….. but for now it should be fine :3 i love the boy!!

”you’re staring. again.”

yuuta flinches. a jolt overtakes him, running through his body, and the pen he’d been absently writing with slips from his fingers. it tumbles down to the ground with a soft thunk.

gazing up at the shadow towering over him, his eyes are wide, a little flustered; like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. like he’s expecting a smack on the head from the person in front of him.

— it’s maki.

and she looks displeased, lips pursed and a single eyebrow raised. unimpressed, as she stares him down — the same way he’d been looking at you just a second ago.

”they’re gonna think you’re a creep if they catch you, you know,” she sighs, shifting from one foot to another. carrying her bass in a case on her back.

”maki, c’mon,” comes from behind her, an even larger figure strolling up to the pair. grinning brightly, fluffy hair tousled by the afternoon breeze. ”cut him some slack!”

”salmon,” a third voice joins in. inumaki’s got some green paint staining the sleeve of his hoodie, and his fingers are dirtied with charcoal.

his closest friends, all joining him on the table they usually frequent on campus. right next to a giant tree, casting a pleasantly cool shade and obscuring the irritating brightness of the sun.

maki, headstrong and resilient. infamously rude. a music major, primarily, though yuuta knows she has more than a couple minors. if you pay attention, you can see her almost everywhere on campus, and she always does well on exams. confident, enough so that just being around her makes yuuta feel a little more secure in himself.

panda, a big kid with a big heart, always wearing monochrome clothes. ‘panda’ can’t possibly be his real name, though yuuta’s never found the courage to ask. truthfully, he isn’t sure panda even has a major, or goes to this university at all — but nobody’s mentioned it yet, and he doubts they ever will.

and then inumaki, the quiet kid, always helpful and kind. a little teasing, too. selectively mute, speaking exclusively in rice ball ingredients, but yuuta has already begun adjusting to the thought behind his phrases. an art student with remarkable talent, from sculptures to comics to paintings. he mostly spends his lectures playing games on his phone, though. and he's the kindest guy yuuta knows.

his beloved friends. the reason he can smile through each day, even when it’s a little difficult.

and maki’s right, he knows she is. if you were to lock eyes with him, and realize he’d been glancing over at you for the past ten minutes… god, he doesn’t even want to think about it. you’d be weirded out for sure, wouldn’t you?

but yuuta just can’t help it. you’re far too radiant to ever look away from, smile much too pretty.

you’re just sitting there, laughing and talking with your friends, the same as any other day. comparing hand sizes with miwa, or leaning over to whisper in mai’s ear. snorting over something momo said, or trying to understand the code kokochi’s fiddling with on his laptop. just being yourself, with people you’re close to.

and yuuta desperately wishes he could be among them. wishes he could see your honeyed smile up close, hear the melodic lilt of your laughter, breathe in the lingering scent of your shampoo. he wishes he could speak to you without stuttering, without tripping over his feet — hang out with you outside of class. just something small, like studying together, or grabbing a bite to eat.

he wishes he could get to know you.

yuuta thinks he must seem like a fool, to be so affected by your mere presence. everything comes to him so easily, when he looks at you; the pitter patter of his heart, his sweaty hands, the whirlwind of butterflies swirling in his chest. even just the way you twirl your hair or chew on your pencil is so mesmerizing.

so all he can do is stare, hopeless, a moth to a flame. basking in the warmth of your gaze, directed at your friends.

hoping one day, maybe… that warmth will fall upon him, as well.

(maybe one day.)

”hellooo? earth to yuuta!”

”see? he’s hopeless.”

”mentaiko…”

”inumaki’s right. he’s a man in love!”

”he’s a boy with a stupid crush,” maki scoffs, picking at a piece of lint on her tank top. ”and we have a study session we need to get done. the exam’s next week, remember?”

exam.

yuuta shoots up, wasting no time in grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. the ring hanging around his neck dangles with the sudden movement, and he clutches onto it.

”ah — right!” he squeaks, apologetic. ”sorry, it completely slipped my mind —”

before his mind can begin to overthink every action he’s taken these past few hours, a hand reaches out to pat his shoulder. pat, pat. reassuring and stabilizing.

inumaki smiles at him. yuuta can’t see his mouth, from behind the fabric of his hoodie, but his eyes crinkle softly; and it’s enough to put yuuta’s heart at ease.

”don’t apologize,” maki says. simple, straightforward. ”let’s just get going. i need to do better than naoya did last time.”

”you’re still mad about that, huh?”

”he only got a higher score because i wasn’t on top of my game,” she grumbles, digging her nails into the pockets of her baseball jacket. ”he doesn’t even like music. he’s just taking the course to piss me off. grown ass man.”

a chuckle slips from yuuta’s lips. the warm breeze ruffles his hair, and he holds onto the strap of his backpack, following closely behind as his friends begin to leave. sending one final glance at your figure, over by a table near the apricot trees.

and that’s when it happens.

— he looks over at you, and finds that your eyes are already on him.

a moment passes.

while yuuta struggles to find his breathing, your lips curl up into a soft smile. then you raise your hand, waving to him cheerily, teeth peeking out from between your lips. he can see it clearly, even with the distance between you.

a smile that glimmers like a jewel, in the light of the sun.

yuuta feels his lips part, mouth falling open ever so slightly. but he waves back, afraid to take too long, unable to stop the pounding of his heartbeat — smiling giddily, like a schoolgirl tripping over her feet.

his friends just watch, wholly unimpressed.

”do you think he’d notice if i threw a rock at him?”

”maki!”

”what do you like about them, anyway?”

the question is unexpected. yuuta has to do a double take, eyes straying from his excerpt of sappho 31 up to the person seated across from him. tapping her pencil on the edge of the table, resting her sharp jaw on the heel of her palm.

”huh?”

”them. your crush,” maki reiterates. ”what caught your attention? there’s got to be something, yeah?”

”oh?” panda chirps, leaning back in his chair. a teasing grin playing at his lips. “i thought you didn’t care about his silly little crush.”

”i don’t.” a huff pushes past her lips, hands reaching to fix her lazy ponytail, hair tie dangling from between her teeth. ”i’m just bored. i already know all this, anyway.”

”tuna mayo.”

”oh, are you curious too, inumaki?”

”well, out with it. why them?”

yuuta blinks. once, then twice — mind spinning in circles, as his friends await his answer.

and, truthfully, yuuta can’t pinpoint the exact moment he felt it. that burst of joy, that tinge of excitement — the puppy love that rika always spoke of. she was always good at verbalizing her emotions, in a way yuuta never could.

(he always knew he loved her, but he could never put it into words.)

and he knows that he likes you. he knows because every word you speak has him stumbling over what to say, because even a single smile sent his way makes the world feel so gentle. he knows because he’d probably throw himself into incoming traffic, if you just asked him to.

but he can’t put it into words. not spoken ones, anyhow — putting them on paper is one thing, the one thing he can do. writing out his love for you in similes and metaphors, sonettes and alexandrines. it’s how he copes with everything; writing and writing, til his fingers start to hurt. he can compare you to a dandelion, to the way cicadas buzz in the light of the sun. the scent of childhood. but it’s harder to speak it out loud, to turn the feelings into sounds — that’s maki’s specialty, not his.

why does yuuta like you?

he remembers it clear as day, but still can’t pinpoint the exact second he fell headfirst into love. it was more of a creeping realization, something soft and sweet trickling through his veins. that sinking feeling, how helplessly he fell for you.

it all started with a pencil.

in hindsight, it’s a little silly. but yuuta can’t bring himself to think back to that moment with anything other than fondness.

(your smile was just so bright.)

that day had been a disaster. he was nervous, painfully so, afraid of every single new thing he came across during his first week of uni. scatterbrained, running on almost no sleep, unsure of where to put his feet as he walked.

honestly — what kind of trainwreck forgets their pen and notebook during their very first workshop?

all that anxiety, all those hours spent overthinking, and he still couldn’t manage something so small. in the moment, he almost panicked; sitting with you, a total stranger, wholly unprepared for such a simple assignment. read a couple excerpts, analyze them on paper. all yuuta could do was stare blankly at his lap, frozen, throat dry. hands cold with sweat.

but then you smiled.

”did you forget your notebook?” you had asked, voice set to a soothing tilt. calm, not angry or impatient.

”ah — yeah, i, um…” yuuta could only swallow thickly, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. ”i’m sorry. i haven't been sleeping well, so —”

”hey, hey, it’s fine!” you chuckled, teeth peeking out from between your lips. ”i totally get it. i almost forgot my laptop at yesterday’s lecture. we can just share!”

then you pushed your notebook closer to him, inviting him in. moving your chair a little, angling it towards him. but all yuuta could think of was how pretty your smile looked, how kind your presence felt.

”here you go,” you grinned, snapping him out of his trance. ”you can use this.”

a pencil. yuuta took it from your opened palm, gazing at it in wonder. an orange-coloured, halloween-themed pumpkin design. completely out of season. the tiny pumpkin was cute, though.

such a casual kindness. but maybe that's exactly why it made his heart flutter so deeply; as if you did it without even really thinking. as if kindness comes easy, to you.

that’s probably how it began. by the time the workshop ended, yuuta knew that he liked you, and he knew that he wanted nothing more than to be your friend.

(subconsciously, his fingers tap at the zipper of his backpack. the pumpkin pen is still with him, after you waved him off with a smooth you can keep it, if you want. yuuta has found that he always writes best when he uses it.)

”well?”

maki’s voice snaps him out of his trip down memory lane, and he stumbles for something to say. what does he like about you?

squirming, yuuta feels his face heat up, as he thinks of you. all he can see is your smile, the kindness in the tilt of your voice. the brightness of the grin you sent his way. warm and saccharine, like the sun peeking out after a downpour — when the streets smell like honeydew and rain.

”they’re just… so cool,” he finally sighs, a dreamy look smoothing over his face. ”they’re so nice. and their smile is so beautiful. they’re so smart, too — god, you should see the way they write — everything about them is just…”

yuuta blushes a deep red, smiling even still. lovesick. ”.. so, so wonderful.”

maki freezes in the midst of the tapping of her pencil. panda stops kicking at the foot of the table. and inumaki looks away from his phone, messing up his full combo.

a moment of silence passes. the study hall grows quiet, and yuuta looks down at his lap; suddenly embarrassed. sipping from his little carton of apple juice.

”hey…” panda starts, delicate. somehow, yuuta dreads the teasing edge to his voice. ”have you thought about confessing to them, yuuta?”

”what?” the boy in question squeaks, choking on his juice. ”no, of course not!”

”why?” maki deadpans. popping a chip into her mouth. ”you’re head over heels, right? might as well do something about it.”

inumaki hums. affirmative.

”i… don’t know,” yuuta sighs. a heavy breath, a little wobbly. meek. ”they’d just reject me, wouldn’t they? i mean…”

(you’re totally out of his league. right?)

maki scoffs, sitting up a little straighter. there’s an angered kind of affection in her eyes. ”you’re just deciding that all on your own. how would you know how they feel?”

the gaze she sends his way is intense. it always has been. there’s a kindness to it, though, something that makes yuuta want to look her in the eye — but he can’t, eyes still locked on his hands, resting in his lap. ”… still,” he manages a weak smile, somewhat sheepish. ”even if i wanted to, there’s no way i could. i’m too much of a coward.”

…

maki slams her textbook shut. the sound is sudden, loud. yuuta flinches, and a wince leaves inumaki’s lips. panda just watches her, snacking on some chips, a mild curiousity simmering in his eyes.

the girl in question gets up from her seat, grabbing her bass case and throwing it over her shoulder. then she looks at yuuta, eyes full of decision.

”— well, lucky for you, we’ve got some time to spare.”

a blink. yuuta gazes up at the girl in front of him, tilting his head in confusion.

maki sighs. exasperated. ”i’m saying we’ll help you. don’t look so resigned, dumbass.”

at that, panda gets up too — suddenly excited. ”are you thinking what i’m thinking?”

she just huffs, smiling even still. ”probably not. but let’s hear it.”

the grin on his face widens. he scribbles something down in his notebook, showing off the writing proudly. ”operation: get yuuta to confess is about to commence!”

inumaki turns off his phone. sitting up straight, arms decisively crossed, a strangely serious expression on his face. completely invested.

”wait — wait!” yuuta stutters, eyes wide with flustered shock. ”don’t i get a say in this?”

”of course not.”

”nope!”

”bonito flakes.”

”b… but —”

”alright, so here’s what i’m thinking,” panda begins, writing down unintelligible notes on the pages of his tattered notebook. ”we need to start small. we don’t want yuuta getting heart palpitations and fainting in the middle of campus, so —”

”tuna mayo?”

”yeah, that’s perfect! hang on, lemme just…”

”let me see. i don’t want you messing this up.”

yuuta’s voice comes out tiny, as it falls from his lips. more of a squeaky breath. ”guys, i really — you don’t need to —”

panda continues to scribble in the notebook, engrossed, arm hanging off maki’s shoulder as they go over the contents. inumaki nods along, walking over to them with lazy steps. yuuta’s protests go unnoticed, and all he can do is watch them mutter under their breaths.

”— okay. listen up, yuuta.”

he raises his head, and meets maki’s sharp eyes. she’s smiling, strolling over to place the notebook right in front of him. ”here’s how this is gonna go.”

yuuta looks down.

everything is written out with a pink sharpie, glittery and pretty. there are little hearts doodled out across the pages, and he can tell exactly which ones were drawn by who. all of them look messy, with the exception of inumaki’s perfect little shapes.

and there, right in the middle, lies a line of text.

panda reads it out, voice loud and cheery, while maki and inumaki stick close. all smiling, as a chill crawls down yuuta’s spine.

”step 1: ask for their number!”

plan a

”okay, so… what am i supposed to do, exactly?”

panda throws an arm over yuuta’s shoulder, and he’s enveloped by the scent of fresh sunlight. the weight is heavy, a comfort. ”we’re going with my plan first! it’s the best one, so don’t worry.”

”i don’t know about that,” maki scoffs. ”we can’t ask mai. best case scenario, she’ll laugh at us a little and say no.”

inumaki hums. he rips out a part of the notebook he’s been tasked with carrying, doodling a little face and showing it to the rest of his friends.

yuuta leans in close. it’s a cute doodle, charming. and he can tell who it’s supposed to depict. miwa kasumi.

”yeah, she’s our best bet,” maki sighs, brushing some specks of dust off her jeans. ”she seems like the nicest one in that group.”

yuuta tilts his head, brows furrowed in confusion. he plays with the ring hanging around his neck, a nervous tick he’s never managed to get rid of. ”wait, so…” he trails off, unsure. ”what are we doing, exactly?”

panda tugs him closer, a friendly smile on his face. ”we’re going to their friends for help!” he beams. ”that’ll be easier for you, right?”

a blink. yuuta gazes into the eyes of his friend, something soft blooming in his eyes.

they can be a chaotic bunch — but they’re still so considerate. considerate enough to know asking for your number straight out would be too much for him. considerate enough to think of his comfort, in a way no one else has bothered to before.

(faced with such immense understanding, such genuine friendship, how could he ever bear to let them down?)

”… alright,” yuuta gulps, clutching his ring as if to give him courage. managing a smile. ”let’s do this, then!”

with newfound determination, the four of them seek out miwa kasumi. it doesn’t take too long — she’s studying, going over legal codes in the library, eyes narrowed in concentration. and she isn’t alone.

”hey, miwa. muta.”

the pair look up from their respective textbooks and laptop, meeting the gaze of a certain maki zenin, waltzing over to their table. miwa smiles, but kokichi doesn’t say anything.

”hi, maki! how are you?”

”i’m good,” she answers, straight to the point; but her eyes soften a little. then she gestures towards yuuta with a tilt of her head. ”sorry, but this guy needs your help.”

”hm?” miwa shifts in her seat, meeting yuuta’s nervous gaze, as he steps forward. ”ah, you’re… okkotsu, right?”

”ah, yeah! sorry for interrupting you two…”

”no, no! please, don’t worry about it,” she grins. sweet and soft, twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers. ”we don't mind. right?”

kokichi still doesn’t say anything. but he nods, when miwa meets his eyes — and yuuta notices that they seem a lot softer when she does.

”so, here’s how it is…”

panda explains the situation to the pair. yuuta looks down at the floor, face flushed as he shifts from foot to foot. by the time he’s finished, miwa looks wholly invested, and kokichi looks a little less like all he wants is for them to leave him and miwa be.

”awww, that’s so sweet!!” she gushes, clasping her hands together. eyes glimmering with excitement.

”right,” maki hums. already a little impatient. ”so, basically — we need their number.”

”… ah. well, um —” miwa trails off, averting her gaze. she looks over at kokichi, but he only shrugs, going back to his coding. ”see, here’s the thing…”

with an apologetic look in her eyes, she turns to yuuta. ”i support you 100% — but i dunno if it’d feel right to just… give away their number like that, you know?” she mumbles, sheepishly. ”i think you should ask them, yourself. that’d be way more romantic!”

”yeah, but that’s a tall hurdle for a socially anxious guy…” panda mutters, patting yuuta’s back.

”still! i’m sure they’d appreciate you being direct.” miwa closes her eyes, a dreamy expression painted on her face. ”i’d be elated if someone asked for my number like that!! all stuttering and shy… it’d be so cute!”

(if anyone notices kokichi stiffening beside her, they don’t mention it.)

maki sighs, resigned. ”well, i don’t think we’re getting any numbers here. good. what kind of creep just texts someone out of nowhere, anyway?”

”i thought it was a good plan!” panda protests, pouting a little. maki shoots him a look.

”it was an awful plan. what were you planning to say? hey, i forced your friend to give me your number, but would you want to hang out sometime?” she crosses her arms with a sharp scoff. ”i’d beat your ass!”

panda grumbles a little under his breath, but doesn’t say anything.

”sorry i couldn’t be of more help,” miwa mumbles, sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. ”good luck, though! i hope they say yes!”

”thanks, miwa,” yuuta smiles, already in the process of being tugged away by his friends. ”i really appreciate it!”

plan a

plan b

”alright, inumaki’s turn. what’s your take on the situation, mister?”

the boy in question sits up straight, back resting against a tree trunk. he writes something down, and yuuta waits, patiently — absentmindedly staring at the white petals of the apricot trees on campus. pure, fleeting, sweet blossoms unfurling before him.

when he’s finished, inumaki presents the page to yuuta, and everyone gathers round. reading the writing, eyes trailing over his little doodles. panda grins, and maki strokes her chin in contemplation.

”you’re a genius, inu!”

”well, it’s probably the easiest way to go about it…”

yuuta purses his lips. it’s a good plan, he thinks; writing out a note, and passing it to you in the middle of class. that way, he won’t have to turn his feelings into sounds, won’t have to speak them out loud. there’s a safety to it, the trickling of ink across blank papers. one that’s never failed him.

”… that should work,” he mumbles, and inumaki visibly brightens. ”what am i supposed to write, though?”

”just be straightforward.”

”not seconded!” panda huffs, crossing his legs. ”you need to be dramatic. heartfelt. that’ll catch their attention!” he stops to think for a moment, a hum buzzing loudly in his throat. ”hey — why not write them a love poem? put those skills to good use!”

”a love poem?” yuuta squeaks, a slight heat rising to the tips of his ears. ”there’s no way i could do that! and i’m not skilled, i —”

a pause. yuuta bites his lip.

”… it’d just be embarrassing,” he finally mutters, playing with his ring.

(he wonders what rika would think, if she were here. what she’d advise him to do — would she like the love poem idea? probably.)

”well, you could at least try. who knows, maybe they’ll like it,” maki attempts to reassure him, chewing at a piece of gum. ”if they’re anything like miwa, it’ll be easy.”

gnawing at his bottom lip, yuuta emits an anxious hum. deep in thought. maybe you would like it, but… what if you just think it’s cheesy?

maki observes him, intently. listening to the emotions behind his silence. tapping the pads of her fingers on her knee, in a rhythmic motion. ”… at least try writing something out,” she says. ”if you can’t think of anything, then just copy some random old guy. what was his name, uh — catallas? or something?”

yuuta’s gaze snaps up, eyes gone wide. ”catullus?” he gapes, in disbelief. ”are you insane? do you even know what kind of poems he wrote?”

maki shoots him a confused look, and a tilt of her head. ”isn’t he the ’give me a thousand kisses’ guy?”

”he is, but that’s —” a sigh, exasperated. flustered, as it flows from his parted lips. then he shakes his head. ”nevermind. it doesn’t matter.”

”tuna…” inumaki mumbles, nudging yuuta’s shoulder with his head. a silent encouragement. and even with no words, yuuta knows what he’s trying to say.

just be yourself. this is your specialty, right?

write from your heart.

”inumaki…” yuuta meets his gaze, and is met with a pair of warm eyes. a friendly punch meets his shoulder, soft and delicate. kind.

”… alright. i’ll write it!”

”that’s the spirit!” panda grins. ”just give it to them during tomorrow’s lecture.”

”yeah,” yuuta nods, mustering the courage to smile. ”i will!”

when yuuta gets home that night, he makes himself a cup of coffee with too much sugar, and gets ready to write.

he listens to maki’s acoustic guitar covers through his headphones, curled up with the fluffy blanket panda gave him, and munches on a hastily made onigiri to give himself much-needed energy.

(writing with a certain pumpkin-themed pencil, basking in the scratching of lead against blank pages.)

his hands are shaking.

it’s barely noticeable, but it’s there. that nervous shiver of his bones, the rattling of his skeleton. you’re sitting right next to him, so close he can smell the shampoo you use, the mint off your breath —

and yuuta can’t seem to hand you the note.

he spent all last night writing it. putting every single little drop of his love into every single little word. but that fear of rejection still remains, rendering him useless, unable to act.

you’re listening to the lecture, but only halfheartedly, absentmindedly doodling in your notebook. out of boredom, he assumes.

it’s the perfect moment to strike.

yuuta’s hands are shaking, and his heartbeat is stuttering, crawling up his throat. he takes a sip of water, hoping it’ll make the dry sensation go away, but it doesn’t work.

(just be yourself.)

with a deep intake of breath, he pushes the note over to you — not daring to look your way.

his eyes remain glued on the laptop screen in front of him, but he hears you pick it up, hears the rustling of paper as you unfold it. his heart echoes with a similar rhythm, unstable, borderline erratic. the rest of the lecture passes by slowly, minute by minute, at an agonizing pace.

when it finally ends, yuuta has to restrain the urge to run away — turning towards you slowly, hesitantly, as if just the sight of you could blind him if he isn’t careful. but you’re already looking at him. and you’re smiling.

”that was so good, yuuta!”

….

huh?

”sorry, but i honestly don’t have any feedback,” you mumble, eyes trailing over the note again. ”i like it a lot. i didn’t know you wrote poetry!”

”… ah.” yuuta stumbles for something to say. staring into your eyes, blankly. dumbly. ”t.. thank you! i’m glad you liked it.”

with a brief shake of your head, you smile, and something sickly sweet unfurls in his chest. ”not at all. thanks for letting me read it! i’m sorry i can’t really help you improve…”

mentally, yuuta falls to his knees. places his palms on the floor and dry heaves, clutching his heart. did you not get it? was he not clear enough? he wrote it with you in mind, so —

”maybe you could show it to professor nanami?” you suggest, unaware of the turmoil within the boy to your right. ”i'm sure he’ll be a great help! he can seem a bit intimidating, but he’s nice.”

”.. yeah,” yuuta smiles, weakly. ”i’ll do that. thanks again.”

for a moment, he isn’t even upset. because you flash him another bright smile, and suddenly, even the frustration of yet another setback doesn’t feel so awful.

(maybe it’s fine, he thinks. maybe this is enough; speaking to you, getting to see your smile up close. maybe he doesn’t need anything else, after all.)

”so?” maki questions, waiting for him outside of class with his other two friends. ”how’d it go?”

shoulders slumped, but still wearing a smile on his face, yuuta chuckles. it comes out sounding a little strangled. ”they… thought i wanted their feedback on my poetry.”

….

”what.”

panda attempt to stifle his laughter, but it doesn’t really work. inumaki elbows him gently, but yuuta sees his eyes crinkle, too. he breathes out a low chuckle. ”they liked the poem, at least. so i’m happy.”

a sigh falls from maki’s lips, and she waltzes over to him, a hand on her hip. the other reaches out for the note in his palm. ”let me see.”

quickly unfolding it, her eyes trail across the words on the pages, the flowery lines of writing —

and then she shoots him an unimpressed look.

”.. yuuta,” she pinches the bridge of her nose. ”what the hell is this? you didn’t even mention their number.”

panda leans over her shoulder, peeking at the text. eyes glancing over a couple lines, riddled with sugarsweet metaphors. ”uh, wow. you… really got into it, huh?”

a groan leaves yuuta’s lips, the sound muffled as he cradles his head in his hands. ”please don’t say anything else. i just wanna crawl into a hole and die…”

inumaki shakes his head, erratic, pointing at the poem with shining eyes. ”mentaiko!”

”ah, you liked it? thanks, inumaki…”

the boy in question smiles, shooting yuuta a thumbs up. he returns it with a small smile of his own.

surrounded by his friends, all he can do is bask in their warmth — and the memory of the smile you gave him.

plan a plan b

plan c

a groan fills the air, as yuuta slumps over the table. cheek pressed against the cold wood, absently kicking his legs, voice meek and defeated.

”this is never gonna work,” he mutters under his breath. eyes devoid of hope. ” i’m just not cut out for this, guys…”

”aw, c’mon….” panda reaches over to ruffle his hair, palm big and warm. ”don’t give up hope! you want to grow closer to them, don’t you?”

”i do, but…” he sighs. ”this isn’t going very well, is it…?”

inumaki frowns, sending yuuta a sympathetic glance.

”oh, quit moping already!” maki grumbles. ”we just need to keep brainstorming. isn’t it time for my plan, yet?”

”should we really even keep going…?” another sigh, heavy with fatigue. yuuta’s mind spins in circles, tiring him out. rendering him a bit cynical. ”i mean… maybe it’s fine if things stay this way.”

a moment passes. maki looks at him, emitting a soft scoff. ”what, so you’re just gonna keep pining for the rest of the term?”

”that’s the plan.”

”yuuta…” panda pouts, shoes bumping against his beneath the table. ”be more positive! just think about it; with every step you take, you get closer to confessing!”

yet another groan. this one is deep, riddled with exhaustion. muffled into the table. ”that’s the scariest part…”

before either of his friends can begin to persuade him otherwise, encourage him further, a sing-songy voice echoes throughout the air. loud, cheery — a little bit obnoxious.

”oh? did someone just say confess?”

at the same instant the sound reaches their ears, a chill runs down the youths’ spines. in tandem with each other, they raise their heads; gazes falling on a certain satoru gojo.

panda and maki are the first to act, speaking simultaneously as the white haired man inches closer.

”— no.”

maki closes the notebook containing operation: get yuuta to confess, right before their professor can get close enough to see it. then she turns towards him, shooting him a cold look.

”your hearing’s getting bad,” she hums. ”maybe you should book a doctor’s appointment.”

a pout. gojo takes a seat right beside her, uncomfortably long legs bumping against every single other pair of shoes beneath the table.

”oh, c’mon. you know i heard you.” his hand reaches out to ruffle her hair, but she smacks it away. ”you’re starting to sound just like megumi, y’know that?”

maki grits her teeth. ”guess it’s a genetic thing,” she huffs. ”now can you leave? don’t you have papers to grade?”

”don’t you have papers to write?” gojo smirks, a teasing mirth in his eyes. hidden behind his sunglasses. maki ignores him.

placing his palms on the table, he leans a little closer, lips curled up into a cheshire grin. foreboding. ”sooo… yuuta’s got himself a little crush, huh?” he teases. ”tell your favorite professor allll about it. maybe i can help!”

”professor geto is our favorite,” maki shoots back, instantaneous.

a soft huff. there’s something sour in gojo’s expression, now. ”that guy? really?”

before the two can argue further, yuuta takes the opportunity to to speak. smiling apologetically, polite and sweet. ”thanks, mr. gojo, but…”

”he doesn't need your help,” maki cuts in. so much for diffusing the tension. ”and do you really expect us to believe you get girls?”

”wha — rude!” gojo scoffs. ”for your information, i’m a natural charmer!”

…

a moment passes. then another.

”… tough crowd,” he clicks his tongue, met only with four blank stares. ”but, really — let me help! i'm your professor, you know?”

and this time, yuuta thinks that gojo’s smile looks just a little more sincere. something kind and gentle in the way his lips curl up, like a father’s affection for their children. something that makes yuuta falter.

(maki might like mr. geto more — but when it comes to yuuta, his favorite professor is a no-brainer.)

so he speaks up, again. ”we can at least hear him out, right…?” maki shoots him an unimpressed look, but he doesn’t back down. ”we’re stuck, anyway…”

and just like that, gojo brightens. it’s obvious, in the way he sits up, more alert. in the way his grin grows wider. ”right? what you need is the perspective of someone more experienced.”

”have you even talked to a girl before?”

”i see him at ieiri’s office, sometimes.”

”salmon.”

”isn’t she a lesbian? that doesn’t count. i mean, like, in a romantic context.”

”i thought mr. gojo was gay, too?”

”what? no way. have you seen the way he’s dressed —?”

gojo clears his throat, voice loud and grating. demanding attention, cutting his eager students off. ”anyway,” he chirps. ”gather round, children! i’ll tell you exactly how to ask the person you like for their number.”

”wh —” yuuta blinks. ”how’d you…?”

”operation ’get yuuta to confess!’, step 1: ask for their number!” gojo repeats, grinning ear to ear. voice rich with amusement. ”i like the glitter. it’s a nice touch.”

maki huffs. looks like she didn’t close it fast enough.

begrudgingly, the youths quiet down, finally willing to hear their professor out. and gojo seems satisfied, at last, speaking in a hushed whisper; eerily serious all of a sudden. ”ok, so here’s what you do…”

everything goes silent. yuuta strains his ears, and gojo parts his lips.

”— just ask them! easy, right?

….

”let’s go, yuuta.”

”mentaiko.”

”i heard they're serving those sandwiches you like at the cafeteria today! let's hurry before they run out.”

”ah — i was just kidding!” gojo laughs, as his students get up from their seats. ”i have an actual answer!”

maki grabs her bass, inumaki takes the notebook, and panda ushers yuuta away. they begin to walk down the hall, ignoring the pleas of the man behind them. pouting, as his shout echoes throughout the hallway.

”kids! come back!”

plan a plan b plan c

plan d

”okay, so this is going absolutely nowhere.”

relishing in the shadow cast by the giant campus tree, the four friends sit on their usual table, sandwiches in hand. yuuta takes a bite of his, tentative. a little disheartened.

”really, guys… i appreciate it a lot, but maybe we should stop here.”

maki huffs. reaching across the table, she gently smacks him over the head with her can of sprite. ”no way. we still haven’t tried my plan.”

he leans back, a little further, a hesitant look in his eyes. the sun shines down, relentless, but the air smells like rain. in the distance he sees clouds, dark, approaching at a slow pace.

an omen, he thinks. a reason not to speak out.

rika always liked the rain. she liked the scent that came with it, the puddles she could jump in. she liked shaking the branches of tiny trees, just to see him jolt and squeak as the raindrops hit him.

the ring around his neck weighs heavy on his heart. the promise of it, the oath within the silver.

(when we grow up, let’s get married!)

”earth to yuuta!”

his eyes flutter open.

the sun shines down, embracing the contours of his face. painting his world yellow. from this angle, staring up at the tree, he can see it breaking through; between the gaps of the green leaves, the white blossoms. forcing its way into his line of vision.

a flicker of hope.

”do you want to hear the plan or not?” maki scoffs, crossing her arms and tapping at her elbow. impatient.

yuuta meets her gaze, finding it in him to muster up just a little more determination. ”yeah,” he breathes. ”i do.”

a smile blooms on her face. ”good. alright.”

panda and inumaki inch closer to the pair, careful not to knock over the cans of soda resting on the table. in a mess of limbs and tousled hair, they gather round.

this is it, yuuta thinks — the final plan. if it fails, he’ll just have to keep pining from afar. memorizing your smile, over and over, until you graduate and part ways.

this is it.

maki parts her lips.

”— just ask them,” she says. ”straight out.”

silence.

a moment passes. a soft, pleasant breeze flits by, caressing yuuta’s skin. his ring sways with the wind, gently.

”… huh?!”

panda furrow his brows, leaning closer with his palms on his knees. ”i thought we agreed that was stupid!” inumaki huffs out a low affirmative noise, holding his sketchbook tightly to his chest. but maki only puffs out her chest.

yuuta tilts his head, with a soft furrow of his brows. ”didn’t you just cuss out mr. gojo for suggesting that…?”

”well, it’s dumb when he says it…” she mutters, under her breath. then her gaze turns firm. ”look — yuuta.”

when the two lock eyes, he notices a steadfast determination, glimmering in her irises. something almost burning.

”you aren’t going to get anywhere if you’re too cowardly to even look them in the eye,” she tells him, not allowing him to squirm away from the eye contact. ”you guys can come up with those convoluted plans all you want, but there’s no way you’ll grow closer if you can’t face them.”

tousling her hair, softly, maki lets out a sigh. there’s a kindness to it, distinct. he can tell she’s trying to be tactful.

”if you really want to get to know them, then you have to be direct. and you have to believe in yourself. you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that they’ll say no — but that’s just dumb.”

panda winces, under his breath, but doesn’t say anything. maybe this is exactly what yuuta needs to hear.

the boy in question listens, the eyes of his friend boring into his own. determined, confident, sincere — everything he isn’t. everything he wants to be.

”even if you don’t believe it, you’re a charming guy. we all think so,” she continues, matter-of-factly. angered affection overflowing in her voice.

”have some confidence, dammit!”

a moment passes. yuuta feels his lips part, ever so slightly. a little speechless.

panda and inumaki sit shoulder to shoulder, hands over their eyes, shielding themselves from the sight in front of them. comically, as if it’s too bright to look at directly.

”this… overflowing tough love…!”

”salmon roe…!”

maki grins, all teeth, a little wolfish. but kind. ”the worst thing they can say is no, right?

yuuta blinks. ”maki…” he mumbles, looking into her eyes, a certain sensation running through his chest. a kind of confidence. passed on from her to him — one friend to another. the most natural exchange in the world.

then he smiles. a little meek, somewhat awkward — but bright. ”yeah. yeah, you’re right!”

the lazy grin on her lips only deepens, as she gets up to her feet, dusting non-existent dirt off her jeans. reaching a hand out for yuuta to take. ”c’mon, loser. shape up. you’re gonna steal their heart, aren’t you?”

a moment passes.

yuuta takes her hand in his. ”i am,” he swallows down a gulp. willing his voice to sound even a little bit self-assured.

and she pulls him up, effortlessly, overflowing with a natural resilience. still grinning cheekily. encouraging him. ”you’re gonna go out there and do your best, right?”

”i — i am!”

another voice chimes in. ”you’re gonna finish my essay for me this week, right?”

”i am!”

…

”wait —”

maki hits panda over the head with a soft thwack. a wince leaves his lips, and inumaki giggles, quieting down when maki sends him a warning glance.

”don’t throw him off his game,” she huffs. then she turns to yuuta once more. ”let’s go find them. alright, loverboy?”

a smile blooms on his lips. grateful, to be surrounded by such sunny people. ones that make it a little easier to smile each day. ”right.”

— but before either of them can take a step forward, a warm voice spills into the open air.

”um, yuuta?”

the boy in question stops in his tracks. he feels his eyes widen, spinning on his heels, hair ruffled by the breeze — turning to look at the source of the sound.

it’s you.

you, with your sunkissed smile, that inviting voice. that soothing, soothing presence. one that has his heartbeat picking up in speed, hands growing sweaty, throat running dry. one that makes him feel a little bit feverish. and you’re looking right at him, into his eyes.

”hey!” he sputters, blinking rapidly to convince himself that he isn’t hallucinating. but you just keep smiling, answering his awkward greeting without skipping a beat.

”hi! sorry, could i just… talk to you, for a second?”

he blinks. the world stops spinning.

(you… want to talk….

to him?)

attempting to find the words, any words, he opens his mouth — but nothing comes out. not a single syllable, no vowels, not even a sound. nothing at all.

he can only stare, star-struck.

it’s not until his friends push him forward that he’s snapped out of it; they surround him, on all sides, wearing matching grins. teasing and excited.

”don’t worry, he’s all yours!”

”have fun, you two!”

”salmon!”

— then they’re off.

yuuta tries to reach for their sleeves, in a weak attempt to keep them from leaving, but they’re gone before he can even blink. leaving him all alone, with someone he can’t talk to without experiencing intense symptoms of heart failure.

he stumbles for something to say, again, but thankfully you beat him to it.

”sorry for interrupting you guys,” you say, voice set to a low tilt. apologetic. and his throat unclogs, a little.

”ah, no, it’s fine!” he smiles, maybe a little too giddy. wanting so badly to reassure you, to put you at ease. ”i’m happy to speak to you!”

…

(oh god oh no why did i say that —)

your smile widens, blooming like a flower in the sunlight. unfurling in front of his very eyes. ”me too!” you say, excitedly. ”i feel like you and i have been talking more, recently… it’s nice.”

eyes crinkling, you wringle your hands together, and look at him fondly. yuuta’s surprised he manages to keep his knees from buckling.

”i think so too!” he grins, ears pink and dimples showing.

both of you smile. the breeze curls around your hair, illuminating the colour of your eyes. yuuta stops breathing, for a moment — just taking it all in.

”so — anyway…” you murmur, fiddling with the fabric of your pants. ”um… haha. sorry, i’m — a little nervous…”

yuuta blinks.

(he knows where this is going. all the signs are there, right in front of him; the flush of your cheeks, the nervous tapping of your fingers, the hesitance in your eyes. he’s read enough shoujo manga — he knows what this means.)

and he almost can’t believe it.

all he can do is keep smiling, hoping it’ll give you even a fraction of the peace that your smile brings him. ”don’t be,” he says, voice soothing. scratching the back of his head. ”whatever it is, i’ll — um. i’ll listen, so…”

he clears his throat. swallowing thickly.

”just — whenever you're ready.”

there’s no mistaking it. your ears are painted pink, and you’re gnawing at your bottom lip. fiddling with your fingers and avoiding his gaze, with a soft inhale, clear air filling your lungs. he wonders if your throat feels as dry as his, if your heart is beating even half as fast.

”um… okay, so…” you mumble, eyes unable to stay in one place for too long. a soft bout of laughter escapes you, and he can tell you’re trying to stave off your own nervosity; it sends a pang of ache running through his chest.

he wants to tell you that there’s no need to be nervous. that he’d listen to anything you have say, absolutely anything, no matter what it is.

he wants to tell you that he’d never let you down, that he’d have to be foolish to even think the thought.

he wants to tell you that he’ll hear you out. whenever, wherever. for as long as you need.

”do you, um…”

a gulp. your eyes find his, and there’s a soft kind of decisiveness in them.

here it comes, he thinks. here it comes.

yuuta feels the heat on his cheeks, ears burning. and he hears the patter of his heartbeat, loud and heavy, echoing in his muddled mind like a mantra. but his chest feels light; fluttery, butterflies dancing around uncontrollably.

clutching the ring around his neck, subconsciously, he looks you in the eye.

they’re bright, glimmering like little galaxies — or maybe more like summer skies. painted over with a warm hue, something nostalgic and sweet, so pretty it hurts. if he strains his eyes enough, he’s almost sure he can see the swirling of fluffy clouds in the depths of your irises.

a smile rests on your lips. it's almost overwhelmingly sweet, albeit a little shy, as you part your pretty lips. voice soaked in nervosity, tingly and shaky, and something he knows to be puppy love.

a shallow, dry intake of breath. yuuta braces himself.

here it comes.

your voice spills out into the air, dripping with honey and magnolias. he thinks to himself that he’d like to hear the melodic lilt of it every single day; before going to bed, right after waking up. walking to campus together, heading back to the dorms when the sky gets dark.

just the sound alone would be enough.

subconsciously, he tugs on the strap of his backpack. thinking of the pencil inside it. his lucky charm, along with the ring around his neck — ordinary objects, both too precious for words.

(when we grow up, let’s get married!

you can keep it, if you want.)

here it comes, yuuta thinks.

a new beginning.

he strains his ears, and purses his lips, and watches your lips move as you finally ask —

”do you have maki’s number?”

(somewhere in the distance, from an inconspicuous bush, the muffled screams of three students and one professor resounds.)

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unbidden-yidden · 6 months

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I have gotten so many messages from folks who see what's happening to Jews right now, how literally any statement from us that isn't straight up "death to Israel!" "tear it down!" "river to the sea!" etc. - no matter how tempered in other ways or critical of the Israeli government it is - anything even mildly supportive of the terrorism victims/their families in their grief and/or Israelis deserving to live is getting dog piled to an absurd degree. And yes, that primarily targets Jews (because we're the ones primarily speaking on it) but it definitely is also hitting anyone not Jewish who says this as well. Immediately, overnight, the left has made any position that respects everyone's human rights and allows Jews room to grieve our murdered and missing family and friends without telling us they deserved to die in terrible ways completely radioactive. Like literally even the most milquetoaste statement attracts numerous hysterical commentators. And because it's so toxic, people are afraid to speak up.

And I've now heard from a lot of gentiles that they had no idea how deep the rot of leftist antisemitism went, how they've been seeing this unfold with horror, and are afraid to speak up.

Here's what I'll say: those messages give me a lot of strength, because they help me remember that I'm not insane, that this is horrendous, and we are seeing in real time exactly who would have helped the Gestapo find us if they were sufficiently convinced that this is "decolonization." That yes, the backlash really *is* that bad. I hear that affirmation and I appreciate it, and I understand your fear, because it was mine too. I myself strongly considered at the beginning not saying anything about this until I could do so without being harassed. (I decided against that because I am physically incapable of shutting up when it pertains to my people, but I understand the sentiment.)

Here's the thing: this is never going to end - those people who take seriously the question "are Jews people?" are going to be the vocal minority unless and until we all speak out. Jews are 2% of the US population and 0.2% of the world's population - there are literally more self-identified Nazis in America than there are Jews. I would honestly be surprised if there weren't more horseshoe theory leftists in the world than Jews also.

That being the case, we really do need our allies to speak up with us. I think if we all spoke up at once, it might be enough to break the silence-taken-as-agreement and shame everyone but the avowed antisemites (rather than the thoughtless and opportunistic ones) back into keeping their antisemitism under wraps. Which does have the effect of bringing the mob under control. Jews have faced a ton of mob violence in the form of pogroms throughout our history and backlash to Jewish victimhood. (Tl;dr - "How dare you make me consider how I might have benefited from or been complicit in hurting Jews? This is actually the fault of the Jews." is a disturbingly common thought process.) (You may also be wondering what I mean by "opportunistic;" I can explain in another post if people are interested.)

I know it's scary. I am well aware that you might lose friends from this. I personally decided that if those "friends" valued Jewish lives so little, they were never my friends to begin with, but it's different for non-Jews. They may genuinely be your friends. I'm not demanding you do this for me or my community, but I am asking you to consider what your line is for your friends. And if you are able to talk to them, to ask them what makes this group different from all other groups in terms of deserving compassion and human rights, it may just help us to quiet the mob.

And, if nothing else, just privately reminding those of us who are speaking about it that we are grounded in reality and compassion helps combat the mass gaslighting going on.

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sc0tters · 6 months

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Strike Out | Luke Hughes

summary: a series of events that lead to Nico finding out about your boyfriend, the newest edition of the New Jersey Devils no less.

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual scenes, p in v, swearing.

word count: 1.46k

authors note: this is more plot than smut (less than 600 words are smut) and I really liked this one. The prompt Luke with Nico’s sister gave me many options yet this was one I’m happy I took.

Luke knew he was playing a dangerous game.

Not only you the total it girl at NYU with men double taking you whenever walked past. But you were also his captains younger sister.

Nico and Jack had both given him warnings about you when Luke first joined the team at the end of last season. Yet the moment Luke locked eyes with you all of those warnings were out of the window.

You were the girl of his dream for lack of a better phrase. You had the banter, the personality, but most of all you got on with Jack. And of course you knew how to wrap Luke around your little finger.

So when it took you less than three weeks to get the boy into your bed Luke finally realised what Jack meant by you were trouble.

It wasn’t in the sense of you were twisted with the cops but rather that you were addictive. Someone so far out of anyone’s league that people weren’t sure if you were real.

That’s what you were, an enigma to everyone but Luke.

Or at least that’s what he liked to say as he stuck into your dorm because somehow it was safer in there than it would have been if you were in the apartment with Jack.

As much as Luke knew he shouldn’t stay in your dorm as it meant you two were awkwardly on top of each other due to the weird size that dorm bed were. He could never help it as he got to see you in his old band tees that you had stolen from his closet during one of the many trips you had taken to Jersey.

Nico and Jack at this point were either choosing to ignore what was clearly going on or they genuinely couldn’t see it.

But that meant you and Luke were feeling more adventurous than you had before.

Constantly pushing the boundaries being less careful than before as you were now even spending nights in the Hughes apartment.

As your life360 began to have these spurs where it randomly turned off only to be turned on when you were minutes away from Nico’s apartment. You seemed to feel this thrill as your brothers phone calls came in wondering why your location had gone off.

Dawson made the mistake of walking into the Hughes apartment one day when Jack was running late making him the first and only one to have seen it.

You had been straddling Luke’s lap when the Mercer boy walked in “Hughesy I didn’t know you had - y/n!” The boy clutched his chest in surprise as you locked eyes with him.

Some would have called this, strike one.

After all of the threats that Nico gave the boys Dawson was surprise that it only took him this long to get with you.

Luke was quick to place you next to him and before either one of you could beg for his silence Jack was home “oh I didn’t know you were going to be here y/n.” Swollen lips and messy hair didn’t seem to be picked up by the older Hughes boy as he flashed you a friendly smile “you want to stay for lunch?” He added letting you and Luke know that you were in the clear with him.

The younger Hughes boy frowned as you got up “I’m actually meeting Nico for lunch.“ You explained sending Luke a wink “I’ll see you soon Hughesy.” His nickname rolled off of your tongue as you left the apartment “I didn’t know that you two were friends.” Jack had to say that you and Luke were not a pairing he thought he’d ever see.

Next you seemed to grow ballsier than ever.

After a successful preseason the entire team were at Nico’s apartment for a celebration party.

Of course your brother sent you an invite as you were spending that weekend in New Jersey.

Much to Nico’s dismay you were hidden from your brothers side for most of the night.

Primarily because you were a bit too focused on a certain Hughes boy “baby you’re going to have to keep quiet.” Luke raised his finger to your lips as you rode his cock.

Your eyes fluttered as your nails raked up his chest “you’re so good for me.” You groaned as his finger rubbed against your clit “y/n you there?” The knock at the door made Luke wrap his lips around your breast in an attempt to suppress his own moans.

Say it with me now, strike two.

You’re chewed at the inside of your cheek “little busy.” You whined making the mental note to kill Luke later.

The boy smirked from beneath you as your hands locked into his hair “Jack is just looking for Luke and he said he saw you with him last.” That almost felt like strike two in the now game of baseball that you had Luke had found yourselves in.

Nico groaned as you remained silent “I sort of wanted an answer from you kid.” It made you roll your eyes as Luke squeezed your ass “I’ll help you find him in a sec.” Your head fell back when Luke’s lips grazed over your collarbone.

You grumbled “I would have liked if you could do it now.” You were grateful that the door was locked because Nico would have opened it by now.

If Luke hadn’t been bringing you close to an orgasm you would have killed your brother “Nico give me a minute.” You were dangling closer to hitting the older boy “okay jesus I’ll see you in the kitchen.” When Nico finally left Luke was able to go back to what he was doing beforehand.

He watched as your lips pursed “I’m gonna come Luke.” You cried making the boy beneath you capture your lips in a kiss.

It was hot as he held your hips against his “where are you going?” Luke complained as you got off of him before he had the chance to do as much as cuddle you reached for your dress “remember Nico?” You spoke in a duh tone shaking your head.

The red dress wasn’t doing a lot for your body “maybe you should find something else.” Luke mumbled seeing the bruises already forming on your collarbone “maybe you should get dressed before our brothers realise that we’re both in here?” You proposed realising that he was right.

The Hughes boy pulled you back by your hand “you’re so hot when you’re bossy.” Luke mumbled pecking your lips.

Finally and by far you’re most stupid of all moments.

Otherwise known as the time that Nico finally caught on.

It was when Luke had scored his first goal of the regular season and you couldn’t help but praise him tonight.

Naturally you in the crowd as it was in New York but as you ran past the crowd of family and friends of the Islander players you were trying to find Luke.

It shouldn’t have been a hard challenge given his height but still there you were trying and failing to find him “there you are!” His voice came from behind you.

He wrapped his arms around your torso so by the time you had spun around you were now facing him “hey.” You smiled looking up at him.

His hands comfortably found their way to your cheeks making Luke grateful that he had taken his gloves off moments before “what are you doing?” You mumbled trying to see what he was getting at as you could hear your brothers laughs echo off of the walls.

Luke ran his thumb over your lower lip “he is so busy talking to Jack that neither one of them is going to notice a thing.” The Hughes boys words made you feel at ease “bout time I congratulate you on that goal then?” You smiled as he nodded dropping his head to yours.

The two of you forgot how good it felt having his lips on yours as you two had been so busy recently that the idea of hanging out was simply out of the question “what the fuck is this?” A loud voice pulled you two back to reality.

Strike three, you should have been out.

Your eyes went wide as you saw the irritated Nico in front of you “look Luke I might not be good at these things but-” your ramble was cut short as Luke matched your expression “run?” He asked slowly repositioning you to block your brothers attempt at running after him.

Part of you wanted to do more as Nico cut in “I’m going to kill you Hughes.” The captain saw you as his little baby who needed to be protected at all times, even if that was from Luke Hughes.

“definitely run.”

#luke Hughes imagines #luke Hughes oneshots #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl oneshot #oneshots #imagines #nhl imagines #hockey one shots #amber writes fics

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morallyinept · 7 months

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I don't rant very often - it's negative energy that I don't want or need in my life - but I feel that as a fan of Pedro Pascal, I'd like to take a moment to highlight what being a fan actually means.

As clearly, some people, some "fans", have demonstrated having a hard time grasping that concept...

Being a fan of Pedro Pascal means I enjoy his career, his portfolio of works.

Sure, I enjoy his physical looks too; the man is certainly as handsome as they come, let's be real here. Yes, I find him attractive.

More importantly, I enjoy what Pedro stands for; his beliefs, his passions. He stands up for injustice, he is an LGBTQIA+ advocate and friend. He is a feminist. He is politcal. He's proud of his heritage.

Is Pedro perfect? Do I believe the sun shines out of his ass? No, he's human and has flaws and off days like the rest of us.

Ain't no-one that is perfect, babe. That's delusion talking if you truly believe that.

I enjoy that Pedro inspires me to be a better human being.

Being a true fan, to me, means only positive things.

It means respect.

It means respecting Pedro's boundaries, be that in person, or online.

It means respecting Pedro's privacy. He has the right, just like any one of us, to a personal life seperate from his career.

Pedro doesn't have to answer to you, me, or anyone else about his private life.

You are not entitled to him, or his time, just because he is a celebrity. (God, I fucking hate that word.) He does not owe you anything, and nor should he be expected to.

Pedro Pascal is a human being.

As a fan of Pedro, I will not write fanfic about him. Only his characters, because his characters are primarily the reason why I admire Pedro. His characters are how I discovered Pedro to begin with.

He can make me laugh, cry, fall in love, wince when he loses an arm, gasp when he double crosses the protagonist. I can survive a fungal apocalypse with his characters by my side.

That's an incredible testament to his talent as an actor that no matter what role he plays, I don't see Pedro on the screen. I only see his characters.

It's his job and he enjoys it. As a fan, I enjoy his craft.

If you do write about Pedro, that's up to you and I am not going to judge, but for me personally, it's a hard no. And I won't be reading any of it either, sorry.

As a fan of Pedro, I can draw the line between fantasy and reality. Meaning, I would never go out of my way to invite, devise, plant myself in deliberately, or exploit a situation where Pedro is in my personal space, or I in his.

Firstly, I'm a realist. And secondly if I ever met the guy, chances are I'd walk right past him and not even notice. (It's happened a lot, not with Pedro but with other actors etc... I live in the capital, there are a lot of them here.)

And thirdly, I am not a stalker.

I would never intentionally track him down in another country whilst he is working or vacationing, and then post about how slighted I am on IG that he told me to politely leave him alone because I was too persistent in getting too close. I would never relocate and uproot my life just to live near him in the hopes we bump into one another and fall desperately in love. 🙄

This is real life people, not a movie.

This kind of behaviour from Pedro's so-called fans is questionable, and frankly concerning to anyone with a sane mind.

I would also never bully or belittle anyone because their fan account is more popular than mine. I would never actively enforce or seek to enforce the deliberate closure of any fan accounts because I am petty or jealous.

Unfortunately this has happened and I am sorry to have heard about those who were affected by it - you did not deserve that.

Sadly, all these things have happened. For real. And it's utterly gross behaviour from, in most cases, fully grown women who are old enough to know better.

We are all here to enjoy and support Pedro, so why is that such a hard concept to grasp? Why does fandom have a toxic corner?

I'll tell you why.

Because thanks to social media, and platforms like Tumblr, it's all too easy to sit faceless behind a keyboard and do and say whatever you want, without any real consequence.

There are always a few bad eggs, in any fandom, who feel they are superior, that they know everything. That because they found a new image or a clip first that they are entitled to police everything. That they are entitled to dictate how fandom should be run.

I've got news for you; you're not.

Fandom is inclusive, sharing, a creative hub for ideas, inspiration. A place to forge friendships, relationships because you have common ground. The coming together of like-minded individuals to celebrate and endorse their admiration for their idol in a safe, non-threatening place.

A place for creativity to flow, for confidence in yourself to grow. To create original stories from canon, to create unique head canon because we don't want these lovable characters to die. To paint amazing pictures. To get excited over Pedro's new projects and discuss your favourites.

That's fandom. That's being a fan.

Being a fan doesn't mean creating, spreading, peddling or posting harmful material that 1) is frankly abhorrently disgusting and is not only insulting to Pedro, but also his family, his friends etc... and 2) could also be potentially damaging to his career.

I am referring to the vile deepfake of Pedro currently doing the rounds now on Tumblr because some idiot thought it was funny to clog up our timelines with it.

I don't want, or need, to see that, thanks.

And whoever created it originally should be fucking ashamed of themselves. I would wholly encourage you to report and block any accounts that have done this.

Imagine how you would feel if your face, your image was used and violated in that way.

You'd be outraged, right? Hurt? Sickened?

This kind of manipulation of AI is exactly what the WGA and SAG-AFTRA are concerned about and were/are striking for.

What Pedro is striking for, and then someone has the gall to pull this sickening stunt.

It's what artists are concerned about. What writers are concerned about. AI wasn't created to be abused in this way.

So, what makes you think that all this behaviour is acceptable to do to a man, who is nothing but generous and kind?

A man who would give you help, no questions asked, if he ran into you, in his own words:

And you have the audacity to call yourselves fans?

A man who, if he knew, what his "fans" do, I'm certain he would be absolutely disgusted and not condone any of it.

☝🏻Let me make it abundantly clear:

If you have looked for, deliberately searched for, posted, jerked off to, liked or shared that vile deepfake clip, video, pic - whatever the fuck it is - in any way then, YOU ARE NO FAN OF PEDRO PASCAL.

And I am certainly no fan of yours.

Do better. Don't be a dick.

#pedro pascal #jett has spoken

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 19 days

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I've been told I'm kind of asshole-y for this, but I don't see any issue. Would like to ask for your opinions.

I have a very "actions matter more than the reasoning behind them" mindset. This extends to how I view others, and how I act so that others perceive me. I'm a nice person: I consider myself a perfect acquaintance. I've read a lot of books and studied people to be a great listener, friend, etc. I have a few skills and help tutor my friends (or friends of friends, coworkers, etc) as well as draw art for them, beta their writing, etc. I help them when they feel down, and I keep things lighthearted in terms of my own troubles because I know other people don't really like hearing about that negative stuff.

I recently quipped that I "am nice out of spite" and got a bunch of weird responses. Apparently this is not a normal thing to say? I thought it would be more of a compliment: in that I choose to be nice because I care about making people feel better, or happier. Yes, a big reason that I like to be a good person is because I like to feel like I'm "taking the high road" or I'm better than others. I am aware this is just a feeling but any positive feeling that makes me have a positive influence in the world is a good one, no?

Am I an asshole for being nice to others primarily to make myself feel "better" than those who aren't? (I am aware that I am not "better". But if it's a net positive and I am fully aware of the situation, then it's fine, no?) I don't believe that the other people in this situation are necessarily assholes for having a different point of view. But if anyone votes NTA (ie: other people involved are the assholes) then please let me know in the notes why. Thanks! :]

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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genderqueerdykes · 8 months

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i understand they're not for everyone, but i do think a lot of people who are primarily exposed to queerness through online discourse would benefit from going to a queer bar and experiencing other queers having fun with each other in a distinctly queer way. i had been looking to attend a kink night at a queer bar for a while, and I finally got to go to one last night, and i'm very glad that i did. I was fortunate that the bar I went to had CBD drinks, so I could enjoy myself despite not being able to drink alcohol

there was an old woman with a rollator who set up at a table right next to the stage with free candy and snacks for everyone, but especially for the drag performers. I found that a lot of people there ended up calling her mom. she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me to get home safe as I was leaving. she told me she'd see me next weekend, see was there every week.

there were adults of all ages there it was an underwear & animal play night, and the house was busy. drag queens and kings, bears, pups, bunnies, cats, leather people and all kinds of vanilla folks showed up. people in collars and harnesses, in jockstraps and leather briefs, on leashes, being lead around on their hands and knees. there were drag performances all throughout the nights and some of the queens included BDSM elements into their performances

i spent the night dancing with the leather puppy boys including an FTM pup who became my friend, some extremely cute old men with white hair and glittery shorts, a middle aged asian man in tiny black undies who really got into the music, an older man who looked like Freddie Mercury who was wearing tiny undies with pink straps and tall pink pumps, a lesbian couple who were fiercely making out most of the night, and a very tall person wearing a shirt that said "stay queer as fuck" with glittery rhinestoned shoes.

i saw a lot of people who were unafraid to be themselves. a lot of people who were willing to show this small slice of the world who they are, their authentic self, no matter what that meant. no one did anything that invaded my boundaries by being their authentic selves. others being loud and proud about themselves didn't drown me out. i felt more like it was okay to be who i was, too. dancing with the pups helped me realize that i'm ready to get into pup play, after questioning if it was for me for years. the exposure was healthy, it's hard to know certain things for sure until you actually put yourself out there

it's not an environment for everyone, i get that. but in whatever ways you can find it exposure to other queers in person is lifesaving, especially when you are having fun. sitting and meeting with each other and discussing what it means to be queer is important, but having fun together in a queer way is literally vital to our health and well being. just talking about being queer all the time won't nourish your soul. experiencing queer fun is necessary, especially when it comes to adults. we're need to and are allowed to have fun with each other in a distinctly queer way. it's important to embrace it when and where possible, in whatever ways make sense for you.

you'll feel a lot less self conscious when you see other people happily flying their freak flag, too

#our writing #about us

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i-heart-hxh · 1 month

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does ikalgo have deeper significance to killua's character? i get that hes like a new friend for killua but why does it feel like he was portrayed so importantly to killua's character during caa? its like theres a deeper meaning, why did killua go out his way just to save ikalgo from those two chimera ants when they entered the building? and why did he look so hesitant? he had thoughts that said "what am i doing..? why the hell am i going the opposite direction?" or something like that. idk it just feels like togashi was implying something abt killua there but i cant figure out what that is. do u have an idea?

Hello! This is a great question!

Ikalgo's friendship with Killua is vital both to Killua's development and also to Chimera Ant arc as a whole! I can explain that significance.

Throughout much of the series, Killua tags along with Gon and primarily focuses on him. He befriends other people, certainly, but he generally does this through Gon--it's not like he's going out of his way to make these friends on his own.

In Chimera Ant Arc, the connection between Gon and Killua gets somewhat disrupted by the events that happen, and Gon's focus shifts primarily to saving Kite and his revenge on Pitou, leaving Killua to worry and feel somewhat left behind and helpless (partly as a result of the the Palm situation as well).

When Killua splits off from Gon to try and save civilians, he meets and a battles an enemy at the time, Ikalgo.

During their fight, Killua gives Ikalgo a choice: Either sell out his friends by revealing their nen powers, or die. Ikalgo chooses to die rather than betraying his friends, and Killua is able to relate to this loyalty. He spare's Ikalgo's life and tells Ikalgo that if they'd met another way, maybe they could have been friends.

Killua's kindness in empathizing with Ikalgo and sparing him is the only thing that saves his life later when he's bleeding out from the needlefish darts. Had Killua not extended that mercy and said those kind words to Ikalgo, Ikalgo would not have saved him, and he would have died.

It's interesting/neat how the scene right after Ikalgo saving Killua from the needlefish involves Gon having his own encounter with another friendly Chimera Ant, and the tone of their conversation is quite a bit different:

Contrast is so important in Chimera Ant Arc!

Anyway, when Killua shows Ikalgo mercy, makes it clear that they're friends now, and invites him to come along and be part of the human side of the war, he essentially becomes to Ikalgo what Gon has been to him: Someone who represents light, and who represents a path forward to a better life. In this arc, Killua worries that he doesn't deserve a place at Gon's side, but at the same time here he extends the same kind of light and hope that Gon gave him to someone else.

As for the scene where Killua breaks off away from Gon in the Palace Invasion in order to protect Ikalgo, this continues to show Killua's world expanding outside of Gon. Notice how in this page, it clearly shows Killua leaving Gon behind--they have their backs to each other, which is a frequent image in this arc. His mission was to protect Gon and make sure Gon could complete his revenge against Pitou, so deviating from that mission is both shocking to him, and potentially dangerous, but it shows that he's starting to protect and care for others as well as Gon.

Now, I want to be clear that I see this as a positive step for Killua. At this point in the series, Killua had made Gon his entire reason for living, essentially, and him going outside of that and making other friends and protecting and caring about them is a vital step for his character. It's showing that he's becoming a more expansive, mature person who can care for multiple people (or ants) at once rather than centering his entire existence and sense of self around one person. He made this action as quickly and efficiently as possible so he could get back to Gon's side, but he did go out of his way and leave Gon behind momentarily, and even he is surprised by this.

And while obviously I adore his nearly single-minded love and devotion for Gon, with what happens between them in this arc he needs to have others in his life besides Gon, and it's part of his transition into also being the light for Alluka and Nanika. It's a result of Killua's own innate kindness and empathy and the choice he made to leave his previous life behind, but also, he was able to reach this point partly because Gon showed him the love and encouragement he needed to become the person he is.

Now, as for Ikalgo's role in the arc as a whole: He's part of a chain of kindness and mercy that ends up changing the entire outcome of the Chimera Ant arc. This post puts it incredibly well. The chain of kindness started at the beginning of the series, with Gon befriending and rescuing Killua in spite of his background, which then eventually leads to Killua sparing Ikalgo (who then saves Killua right back), and then Ikalgo sparing Welfin, and then Welfin giving Meruem Komugi's name so that they got to be together in the end. Ikalgo shows the consequences of Killua's kindness, which are also the consequences of Gon's kindness, in part.

A major theme of the series and of Chimera Ant arc is that love and kindness are transformative, and Ikalgo has such an important role in demonstrating that theme.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #ikalgo #killua #gon #welfin #chimera ant arc #killugon #gonkillu #meta #long post #anonymous #my posts

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comradekatara · 1 month

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notes on “the runaway”

the more i see people discuss how strangely sokka’s character is portrayed in “the runaway” the more i cannot help but feel that all my ad hoc rationalizations and justifications as to why he would contradict himself so greatly might actually be meaningless. why would he allow the gaang to endanger themselves for foolish reasons when he is the overly paranoid voice of caution in literally every other episode? why would he be so easily swayed by toph’s manipulative promise of buying him a fancy atlas when he’s literally holding her wanted poster? and most crucially, why would he say that he sees katara as his mother when no other episode in the show indicates that this is remotely the case?

this episode is great for katara and toph, whose hangups are compellingly explored here. i won’t get into the common misconceptions about katara being “motherly” or why they’re even at loggerheads to begin with, as i’ve discussed this at length in the past, but it’s actually undeniable that the assumption that katara is the de facto “mom friend” stems primarily from this episode, where toph all but outright accuses her of fancying herself their collective mother. however, katara becoming “the mother” of the group is very much a post-toph shift in her character, and you see her femininity being accentuated in contrast with toph’s deliberate lack of femininity also being linked to this sort of maternal role that she occasionally adopts, especially around toph. but i don’t actually think the issue is one of katara being a smothering, maternal figure towards toph, but rather a miscommunication regarding power, gender, class, and community vs independence. when katara and toph fight, it is for far more complex and nuanced reasons than the notion that katara is simply too overbearing. if anything, it’s the way in which she is overbearing that irks toph, just as toph’s rudeness is not the central issue, but rather that toph’s values (those of total independence and freedom) are misinterpreted as malice by katara (who values community and collaboration), and vice versa.

something very crucial to understand about this episode is that katara is not actually mad that toph endangered their group by pulling fun scams. katara has endangered their group countless times in the past to satisfy her own impulsive desires (and yes, she wants justice, but toph similarly rationalizes her scams through the lens of achieving moral vindication). katara would be all over toph’s scammery, would come up with scams of her own, would be having more fun than anyone—had she been included from the start. which is exactly the point. it is her exclusion that foments her critique, not the subject of their act itself (and the reason that you could not replace katara with sokka in this scenario is simply because toph would never exclude sokka in the first place). but katara would never admit that she is hurt by toph’s exclusion aloud, because katara is an extremely proud person. and a prideful, wounded fourteen year old is not going to thoughtfully use “i statements” as if in a group therapy session with the equally prideful twelve year old who deliberately excluded her; no, she is going to lash out. (lest we forget that in their first real episode establishing their group dynamic, katara literally mocks toph’s blindness. hardly an okay thing to do, in my opinion!) their conflict stems from their differences, but also from their similarities. they are both proud, angry, powerful, stubborn, and must assert their dominance at all times. it’s clear they both want to be friends with each other, and at times they are, but it is really only in this episode where they are able to cross a threshold that allows them to be truly honest about more meaningful insecurities than simply their looks (although i do of course find their exchange in “tales” beautiful as well). and you know who is instrumental (albeit reluctant to interfere) in facilitating that growth? sokka.

i’ve gone more in depth in the past analyzing why sokka’s speech in this episode regarding his mother and katara isn’t exactly as it sounds. i personally interpret his admission, that katara has always been there for him and that her face is all he sees when he tries to picture his mother, as an illustration of his codependent attachment to her, as she is the very locus of his identity. this interpretation is compounded by the fact that when kya’s face is finally revealed later in the season, she does bear an uncanny resemblance to sokka, which to me signifies the way in which sokka sublimates his own face for katara’s—which is also deeply unhealthy, but in a different way than an older brother parentifying his younger sister would be.

the fact is that there is simply no indication throughout the entire show (including this episode) that sokka views or treats katara as a parent. there are of course moments wherein she supports him emotionally or materially, but most of the time she is in fact teasing, tormenting, undermining, yelling at, or otherwise making life harder for him, at which point he is far more likely to act as her guardian figure and admonish her while simultaneously helping her get out of whatever mess she’s caused. and considering that sokka’s defining moment is when hakoda stakes his identity to protecting his (ontologically special) sister (which, as we know, as the bearer of kya’s face, in fact means dying for her), this dynamic makes far more sense than the other way around. i know that people commonly portray katara as the voice of reason who cleans up sokka’s messes, but besides a couple examples, it’s consistently the other way around. yes, it’s very easy to assume that sokka’s speech indicates that he sees katara as his replacement mother, but we cannot take this speech at face value if we are also to take the rest of the text into account, which we must.

but then there’s also the other glaring question that must be taken into account: why would sokka even allow all this? considering the first thing toph bartered was the sword he has painstakingly crafted just an episode prior, why didn’t sokka just pull the plug then and there? it really doesn’t make sense that sokka wouldn’t take katara’s side just for practical, logistical reasons. even if she doesn’t really care about the own point she’s making (as demonstrated by the fact that the scam she devises literally lands her in jail), sokka would see the logic in it. but... he does. he is the one to first discover the wanted poster, and he immediately points out to toph that their scams are drawing undue attention to her, and that they should put an end to it now that's it's putting them at risk. and yet, toph successfully bribes him, and so he continues to participate. why? what about the prospect of having money is so appealing to sokka that he’s willing to risk his precious rationality and caution for the potential of acquiring more of it? well, it’s actually quite simple.

toph is scamming for the thrill of the game. she loves proving the kind of men who undermined and demeaned her all her life wrong. she loves humiliating the people of the world who had once humiliated her. she’s not someone who values earthly possessions or really even understands that money is a finite resource. to her, these scams are a matter of ego. aang is also scamming for the thrill of the game. he loves a prank, a bit of mischief, getting into some tomfoolery. he loves spending time pulling hijinks with his friends. it’s funny, it’s fun, and it’s lucrative on top of that. but it’s clear that he views it as a game. now, sokka similarly enjoys pulling these scams. he adores toph and clearly finds it nearly as satisfying as she does to watch her destroy the egos of men thrice her size. but even more potent than his adoration for toph, is his appreciation for money.

when katara put them all in danger countless times in the past, it may have been to enact righteous justice, but it was never materially beneficial to sokka. sokka is a very practical person, and growing up in a state of colonial abjection taking on the role of provider for a couple dozen people mostly comprised of elderly women and small children makes you appreciate the value of goods and resources in a way that an aristocrat and a monk do not. you may be asking, "are you really arguing that sokka would undermine his own values and endanger himself and his friends so readily for the prospect of financial security?" to which i would argue that you underestimate how truly cynical sokka is. of course he loves money and food he doesn’t have to catch or forage – see: his appreciation for the immediate luxury of ba sing se that everyone else finds so stifling. he is not spiritual; he is attached to earthly possessions and the immediate physical needs of those around him. so of course he loves a material object. in his own words: “i do believe in the power of stuff.” because even when sokka is supposedly being uncharacteristically foolish or naive, he is in fact nonetheless promoting the cynic’s agenda every step of the way.

“the runaway” is a good episode, perhaps even a great one. however, it has also lent to some of the fundamental misinterpretations i see of katara, sokka, and toph that are constantly thrown around (including the occasional citing of this episode to justify that aang apparently “sees katara as his mother”). so in some ways, i do resent this episode for begetting those strange and incorrect takes, even if i think that in a vacuum, it is well-executed. it is an episode that complicates our characters, adds nuances and shades of grey to their pre-established characterizations, but does not actually rewrite them. sure, if this was the only episode of the show i had ever seen, i too might assume that katara was the maternal and responsible figure of the group, toph was a careless and rude little bitch, and aang and sokka were idiots who relied solely on katara’s infinite well of long-suffering guidance. but even within this episode, that is clearly not established to be the case, and if that notion is not sufficiently undermined by the episode’s conclusion, it is quite clearly by the episodes bracketing it, which provide crucial context through which to inform our understandings of the choices made in this episode, and why they are indeed interesting, but nonetheless do not reflect the characterizations established in the series as a whole.

#id in alt text #analysis #katara #toph #sokka #aang #katara&toph #katara&sokka #this episode is sooo #well. i like it #but the things it has done to how this fandom reads the gaang dynamic #is just. goddawful #so here are my 2 cents on why it IS in fact in character #but simply. no one is reading is correctly #feel free to disagree tho you can just straight up think its a bad episode thats okay too #i love katara and toph fighting in the mud sm tho #how could you ever hate that. i ask of you. how

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