#when the only rodent is the capy!

[nobodylikety]

Capy-what? ₍ᐢ•(ܫ)•ᐢ₎

I found the idea of @incherryblossoms about capybara hybrid! reader x hybrid! New Jeans very interesting! so here it is!

I did some research on capybaras (which by the way was very interesting, since one of my favorite things when I make a hybrid! character is researching the animal and its characteristics), so I hope you like it <3

tags: Hybrid! New Jeans x Capybara hybrid! Reader, College AU, comedy??, fluff.

summary: New Jeans sets out to find out why capybaras recently been a sensation among people, social media and the animal kingdom, by meeting one for the first time!

Seoul National Hybrid University (SNHU) has university houses close to campus for its students. One of said houses is occupied by Hanni, Danielle, Minji, Haerin and Hyein —although Hyein is only doing Pre-university, before officially joining as soon as she sends her exam results and final averages.—

In this way, only five rooms of the six in the house are really occupied, because the one that is free, the girls use it as a kind of storage-room.

So it's an empty room.

That is, until Haerin opens the door, ready to throw another piece of junk inside, a cat toy that she broke because she doesn't know how to keep her claws still, and she finds that there is a damn capybara snoring in the bed, which until this morning, it was empty.

The creature lies on its side on the blankets like a deformed dog, and even lets out a snort in its sleep.

If she had her way, history would say that she remained calm and collected; that she silently took out her phone and sent a text message to the group chat, and she would simply leave the storage-room and return to her room. In the morning, she would brainstorm with Hanni, Danielle, Minji, and Hyein about what the hell she had seen, and she would go on her merry way and simply no one would do more about it. Because, a capybara in the damn room? Seriously? The largest rodent in the world, and also quite docile. Nothing to be scared about.

But history will tell otherwise, because instead of calming down, Haerin is screeching and meowing. And upon noticing her, she immediately covers her mouth with her hand, but the damage has already been done. The capybara wakes up with a screech and lets out some warning barks.

All the noise in the storage-room, that is, the barking of the capybara, as well as Haerin's desperate feline meows and screeches, are so loud, there is no way that the rest of the girls cannot notice that something, whatever that is, it's happening.

"No no no. Shut the fuck up. You can't bark at me, you big rat," Haerin hisses, trying to be dominant, in order to defend herself from the big rodent that stands on top of the bed and glares at her. But she's just a scared kitten who plays the tough role, and doesn't do it very well.

“HAERIN ARE YOU OK? YOU ARE DYING? I'M ON MY WAY!" Danielle, loud and hyperactive as she is, is the first to come to the grumpy hybrid cat's rescue.

The puppy peeks out from behind Haerin, whose tail and ears are perking up, to bump into the barking capybara on the bed.

“Is that a radioactive rat?” she asks, tail wagging gently.

“How am I supposed to know, you stinky puppy? I opened the fucking door and it was there!”

For a moment the capybara on the bed takes a backseat, while Danielle and Haerin fight like a cat and dog, trying to decide if what is on the bed is a deformed, obese dog or a giant radioactive rat.

“I'm a capybara, actually?” You interrupt their discussion gently, after resuming your human form. The little ears are still poking out of your head, half hidden by the brown hair, as is the tail, where...well, where the tails go.

Haerin and Danielle look at you, in a mix of caution and silly surprise. They look meticulously at the room, detailing that there are some half-open boxes.

“Hi” you greet, smiling slightly and holding out your hand.

What are you doing in that room? In the storage- room? What if you're a sociopath who took over the room and is going to kill them all? In Haerin's head, all the panic alerts are on.

Not Danielle's.

Haerin will never understand what kind of gears move a dog's brain; she swears Danielle has sawdust in her head.

"And you are…?" Haerin inquires, with a knot in her stomach. She ignores the outstretched hand, even after Danielle does accept it.

“Oh, sorry. I'm your new roommate, I just moved in this morning. Didn't they give you notification? They were supposed to send it to your mailbox…”

Ah yes, the mailbox. Danielle hates the mailman. She probably ran around him, and in the process she missed the envelope that contained the notification inside it.

“Uh, uh, no. I'm sorry," Haerin feels less tense knowing that at least you're not a sociopath who's going to kill them. “So, you were the sleeping capybara?”

You nod your head.

“I was just supposed to take a nap and then wake up to say hello, but…” you wave your hand, smiling slightly embarrassed, cheeks rosy. “Things didn't go according to plan.”

"Don't worry! You just scared Haerin to death, but she's over it," Danielle comforts you, whose tail wags so enthusiastically that it looks like the propellers of a helicopter, while she animatedly pats Haerin's shoulders. She hisses back at her.

But before you can answer, the rest of the inhabitants of the house heads to the room-no longer-cellar, due to Danielle's lack of return after saying that she would go to 'save Haerin'. A hybrid bear towers over the others, while floppy bunny ears appear among the group, along with a bushy fox tail.

Minji, Hanni and Hyein, respectively, as introduced to you by Danielle.

“So it's because of you that Haerin screamed as if someone had eaten her cans of tuna,” Minji comments, covering her mouth, half yawning, half laughing. She is disheveled, as if she just woke up from a nap.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare her, or you”

“L-let's just hope t-the screams don't happen again.” Hanni lets out a shy giggle, then adjusts her floppy ears. She seems to be sensitive to noise, and she is softer and gentler than the others.

“With Haerin in this house, it's kind of difficult,” Danielle responds, panting with her tongue out to cool herself. Having her tail wag so vigorously must have tired her out. “But maybe you'll give us some peace,” she says, looking in your direction.

"What are you saying? Me?"

“You're a capy-something, aren't you?” Hyein, the youngest of them all, asks with genuine interest. Her bushy tail dances behind hers, with the elegance that Danielle's tail does not have, even though they share some kinship relationship as they belong to the same Canidae family.

“Capybara, yeah”

“They say that capybaras are very popular. People love them, they are like… super sociable, calm and very adorable” Hanni has done her research on it, a fact that makes her blush hard, realizing that it is as if she had done some research on you. Or more precisely, as if she had deliberately commented on that, because you are there.

"That's why I say it! Maybe if she's here, she'll make us get along better. Finally someone will be able to exorcise the demon that Haerin has inside!” The nonsense that Danielle constantly says makes you unable not to smile. You can still hold back a little the laughter, but you have the feeling that the more you live with her, the less you will be able to stop yourself from laughing.

Minji yawns again, slumping against Haerin, who wraps her arms around her waist and nestles her chin against the crook of her neck.

“Haerin doesn't have a demon inside her. Haerin is the demon,” Minji points out, laughing. To annoy Haerin, the bear hybrid plants a kiss on her cheek that makes her hiss. "You see? totally demonized”

It seems like everyone is very close, which is nice. And friendly too, because they make you feel very welcome.

“Don't pay attention to those three,” Hyein suggests with a smile, referring to Dani, Minji and Haerin. “They're like the Three Stooges, really.”

“They don't seem that bad to me” You smile, realizing that she doesn't mean it in a bad way. But from affection. She knows them. And she loves them. It is that type of love and closeness that implies mockery and complicity.

“Anyway, we're glad you're here. It's..-” Hannie covers her ears, because Danielle is barking again.

“Because you are another person to love!”

When you think that someone, probably Haerin (you don't have to live with them much to realize that they get along like a cat and a dog and that, even so, they love each other very much), is going to tell Dani to shut up for shouting cheesy things, they all nod in agreement.

“If they say people love capybaras, why don't we?” Despite Danielle's earlier outburst, which causes Hanni to panic and cover her ears, she continues. Her voice is so gentle and soft it sweetens your ears. “We will have plenty of time to get to know you”

“Let's see if capybaras are as charming as people make them out to be on social media.” Haerin snorts under her breath, but you notice how he looks at you for a moment, eyes shining, before looking away with a growl. Tsundere.

“They must be! You seem huggable” Minji seems like the only thing she cares about is whether you're comfy and soft to cuddle with. She's a hybrid bear, taking naps with people she likes is something you'll have to get used to from now on.

Then another discussion breaks out about why-capybaras-are-so-loved-and-popular, which only makes you smile.

Living in this house will not be boring at all.

Not when there are five hybrids who seem to just had a crush on you.

Which only proves that capybaras are capable of having anyone head over heels.

#hybrid!au #kpop hybrid au #new jeans x reader #new jeans imagines #danielle x reader #hyein x reader #haerin x reader #minji x reader #hanni x reader

[normal-thoughts-official]

Top five animals

Oh god how the hell am I supposed to pick between animals. They are all so great and important and I love so many of them for so many different reasons

Okay, I'll give this a shot. I'm sorry other animals

5. Tigers

I used to be obsessed with tigers as a kid, and I do mean obsessed. I had a little binder covered in tiger pics that I'd fill with other tiger pics and articles on tigers and basically anything else I could find on tingers. They aren't particularly unique creatures biology-wise but goddamn if I didn't love those bastards. They are so unique and cool. The hype has died down tho and nowadays I barely remember any tiger facts, but I still see a tiger and go omg look a tiger!!!! The fondness is definitely there so they deserve to be on this list

4. Capybaras

Or as I like to call them

ID: An YouTube video titled "We Found Giant Hamsters On The Streets Of Brazil". The thumbnail is a picture of a capybara on the sidewalk, with a huge red arrow pointing to it and saying, "what is that?". Capybaras are about a human knee's tall rodents with dense brown fur. End ID

There is nothing not to like about capybaras. They are the world's largest living rodent, which is an absolutely crazy thing to be. "Mom I want to be the world's largest rodent!" Timmy what's wrong with you. Yet there they are

And like you'd expect the world's largest rodent to be some kind of Australian nightmare, like a Godzilla rat that eats cables and wrecks the city or whatever, but they are such chill animals. In my uni there is a large river that runs along campus and there are always capybaras just chilling there. One of my friends even petted one of them. I don't think I've ever even seen one of them moving at all. Ideal life

Like look at these guys

ID: Close-up of a capybara's face. They are staring ahead of them. Their head is rectangular and they have very small features, with two nostrils, a tiny mouth, and small eyes that seem narrowed. Their expression is blank. End ID

They said 🗿 [moai emoji]

But also they're so cute

ID: A capybara with two baby capybaras. The baby capybaras look exactly like the adult capybara, except instead of being barrel-shaped, their body is almost perfectly round. End ID

I once saw a capy with three babies and one of them was just on the top of the adult capy's head. Both of them were just chilling, everyone completely immobile. Love those guys. I literally live in The Country Of Capys and I see them all the time and they never get any less amazing. 100000/10 another amazing South American creation

Even their names are cute! Capybara is cute, and presumably comes from Capivara which is the Brazilian word for them. And in Spanish they're called carpincho!! Adorable. Presumably all names in other languages come from these since capys are native only to South America. In short I love them

Bonus: they have a bird guy. Izzy, why don't we have a bird guy?

ID: A capybara, looking exceptionally bored, with a screaming bird resting on top of their head. End ID

Stan capys

3. Eels

Look. At. These. Guys

ID: Four close-ups of eels' faces. They are large snake-like sea creatures with round eyes on either side of their head and a large mouth that's usually open. When seen from the side, their open mouths and unfocused eyes make them look as if they are confused. When seen from the front, their extremely large and round eyes, thin face and open mouth make them look completely shocked. End ID

They look so stupid ❤️

They can also be extremely colorful and beautiful but mostly I just love how dumb they look. Also they are like snakes except from the sea which makes them a billion times cooler. Also I remember going to a talk on them once where they mentioned that eels are some of the most feared creatures for deep divers because they tend to attack their oxygen tubes thinking they are other eels, which can break the tube and lead to uh, unfortunate results. R.I.P those divers but that's so funny

I also have a sorta soft spot for them because when I was a kid I went to the TAMAR project which is a project in Brazil dedicated to sealife conservation, particularly turtles but not just. And they had a gift shop with an eel plushie and I fell in love with that lil guy. Unfortunately it was too expensive as gift shops usually are so I didn't get one but To This Day I think about it. I never found it again either. Eel plushie wherever you are I still love you

2. Planarians

Those bitches are literally called Flat Fucks in scientific lingo so you know they are an absolute hit. And look. At. Them!

ID: A planarian. They are a small tube-shaped but extremely flat creature with no limbs. Their head is slightly triangular with two small and extremely close to each other eyes on top of their head, facing up. They are sand-colored with a grainy brown pattern. End ID

This is what a friend looks like. No, scratch that, this is what happiness looks like. These dudes are happiness incarnate and I'd do anything for them, especially the Tricladidas

"Wah wah but some of them are parasites" good for them! Get that food dearies. I love you

And also they are so cool like they can regenerate no matter what you do to them and they can be found pretty much anywhere except on air! You've got terrestrial planarians, sea planarians, planarians inside the intestines of like every animal that possess one. They are such a successful group and they do nothing except be FLAT FUCKS with VERY TINY EYES ["flat fucks" with "very tiny eyes", in caps]. Fucking iconic

I unfortunately can never find out the name of this particular species that has the triangular head and stuff, there are other planarians that are different. However I will also give a shoutout to them (and other flatworms) because they are very beautiful and colorful and I stan them also.

ID: Three sea flatworms. The first one looks like a slug, with most of their body being neon green with a thin black stripe right on the middle. Around their body they have what looks like a full-body flap in black with neon orange edges. They also have two antennae-looking orange appendages on their head.

The second one also looks like a slug but they are flatter, with a black body with neon pink edges, and two triangle-shaped appendages on top of their head that are orange

The third one has the thinnest body of them all, paper-thin, and their whole body looks maleable and foldable. They are sand-colored with thin black oval patterns, one inside the other, and white edges. End ID

But they are still not as funny as the first guy. Sorry, love you, keep on rockin', but that one right there is my fave

(PS: Although they look like them, those are not sea slugs! Sea slugs are mollusks and these guys are flatworms, or Platyhelminthes. Isn't that cool? I love that. Completely different phyllums and they look almost the same)

1. Trilobites

Can I pick an extinct animal? You never specified so I will. Hehe look at them

ID: A trilobite fossil. They are oval-shaped animals with their body divided in several thin stripes that go up and down three times in a circular shape. End ID

I have always loved them and I will always love them and I have no reason for it. Just. Look at them! They bring me so much joy. They look like a stim toy or a foot self-massager or something. Unparalleled character design. And they could get so huge! Up to 72cm long which is longer than a capybara is tall. They are also flat fucks so maybe I have a thing for them. But that is the coolest exoeskeleton design ever and I'm so sad that they were extinct. They were doing so well! They dominated the seas for quite some time. IDK what happened to them but R.I.P trilobites, always in my heart

And that ends this post! Sorry it's so much longer than you probably expected. If anyone wants more rambling, feel free to ask me for my top 5 anything

#this got long sorry #long post #animals #capybaras #flatworms #planarians #since i talk in quite a bit of length about them #described #ask #mauvecatfic #ask game

[g4yr4t]

hate it when people are wrong abt which animals are rodents

#babble and blather #like there's a pic in the capybara tag #that has pictures of four animals #and op refers to them as rodents #when the only rodent is the capy! #possums raccoons and otters are not rodents

[iuniversallystudentperfectionme]

It is heartening news that some 20 CONCERNED LAWYERS have come together to undertake the mission of cleaning up the Aegean stables that seem to pass today for the Nigerian Judiciary. Some of us do need an institution to which we can look up, of which we should even live in awe. Some find that in religious institutions, others in traditional fixtures, some even in family and so on. All agree that the Order of Justice is a pre-eminent candidate for collective regard and even self-regulation. No matter, we all know that, without Justice, society unravels at the seams, and its citizens resort to self-help.

I feel especially exercised by recent happenings within that Body currently from a dominant perspective: it has become increasingly fashionable to sneer at any anti-corruption preoccupation. No, no one actually ever goes so far as to condone corruption. Perish the thought! Gradually however, the nation’s psyche is being both subtly and brazenly retuned to accept not simply corruption as the norm of social relationships, but its heightened product, impunity, as a national emblem. The justification? The machinery that was launched against corruption with such fanfare, it is claimed, has run aground. Selectivity has been cited as proof. Insincerity, non-seriousness, cynical distraction, are routine assessments of the current governmental campaign. Even the heady draught of ‘stomach infrastructure’ – ‘na anti-corruption we go chop?’ is now applauded, accompanied by guffaws wherever decanted. Not surprising then, that it was only a matter of time before the flagbearer of one of the ‘parties to beat’ came out openly to dismiss the punitive option, delivering the promise of Amnesty as one of the corner-stones of his plans for the nation. It was a well-calculated gambit. That candidate, an astute politician with his nose to the ground, found that ground primed, ready and conducive. Soon, this will be topped by some rivalling knight in shining armour from rivaling parties who promise prosecution and prison sentence for anyone who bad-mouths corruption - of course, always with a  caveat -  until all the ills that infest society have been completely eradicated – guinea-worm, river blindness, soil erosion, oil pollution, rape, kidnapping incest etc. etc. not forgetting the transformation of the entire national infrastructure and the full elimination of the last vestiges of Boko Haram, killer herdsmen, Lassa bearing rodents and potholes on the road.

Must one reiterate the obvious? It seems we must. A basic awareness of the link between corruption and all the above named preoccupations is fast disappearing.  Such as hospitals that were never built, or never provisioned. Unthinkable is the proposition that a military commander who diverts funds meant for the elimination of Boko Haram to his family is even more despicable than Boko Haram which does the actual killing of innocents. And what of high-profile murders that had their roots in the open adoption of corruption as a life-style, and the increasing sophistication of cover-up operations? No connection between the rising tide of unemployment and the corrupt wastage of resources meant for industrialization and job generation? For the stubborn skeptics, and/ or those who understandably mistrust the testimony of former government associates, such as Okonjo-Iweala’s FIGHTING CORRUPTION IS DANGEROUS, perhaps they will at least credit the personal testimony of a battle scarred Nigerian businessman as expressed in a passage from his recent autobiography. That work, artlessly and refreshingly frank, written by a businessman, Newton Jibunoh makes the following revelation in the chapter titled, CORRUPTION, aka GIFTING IN CONTRACTS:

“I would go to Mr. Farrington (Jibunoh’s boss) on so many occasions and say, this is the situation, this is the truth (i.e., it’s ‘gift’ or lose).  Farrington  would refer it to London and London would say, no way. I tell you, if you go into how Dumez left Nigeria, how Boutgyes left Nigeria, how Guffanti left Nigeria, how Taylor Woodrow Nigeria, it came from this issue. They all packed up. Taylor Woodrow used to be beside us at Costain. They packed up.”

So, ‘na anti-corruption we go chop?’ is not entirely rhetorical Some do chop and distend on corruption. Others however starve from job losses and die of it!

Yes, it is election time, and issues that are normally generalized take on enhanced desperation. A recent image sticks to the mind, and for it, we must be thankful to that very desperation that is born of elections. Those who are familiar with the culture of organized crime – as perfected, structurally and sociologically by the Italian Mafia, will have caught that image. Perhaps it struck me forcefully because earlier, the nation has been treated to alarms of a Sanni Abacha coming back to rule the nation. It is the image of a Mafia lieutenant paying due homage to the Capo di Capi Tutti. At freedom Park, only this last day of January, I bade the nation beware of the convocation of the Conclave of the Corrupt. The warning was prompted by that most evocative image. Many have only seen such scenarios in cinema – the Don Corleone narratives. I have however seen it in gruesome activation. I witnessed it first-hand in the ‘before and after’ of the civilian revolution that was – coincidentally – led by two lawyers. They fought, and restored the rule of law in Sicily under seemingly impossible conditions.  One of them lost his life in the process, the other lived to tell the tale of the rescue and transformation of a society whose mayor he also became. Sicily, that erstwhile island of fear has now become a beacon of liberal culture and social enlightenment.

By contrast, here, to put it charitably, our lawyers appear to be confused about what their role should be when confronted by the spectre of impropriety within their own Guild – note, I do not even say ‘corruption’. Impropriety will do for now. Is it really that hard to pursue the letter of the law and provisions of the constitution, simultaneously with the pursuit of an ethical imperative and thus, guide this nation in the morality of balanced perspectives? Is it really impossible to interweave both? The latter – the ethical imperative has gone missing in the overall collective voice of the NBA over the affair of the Chief Justice of Nigeria. The scantiest lip-service has been done to that social plinth, and I find this most distressful.

Impunity covers all crimes, not just material corruption. And any social or governance institution which, through act or negligence, fails to stem the tide of criminality within its charge, flings open the sluices of impunity. This has been the case of President Buhari in his lacklustre, indeed hands-off approach to the menace of the killer herdsmen – at least at the beginning, before swathes of Nigeria were reduced to slaughter fields, thriving farms erased off the food supply chain of the nation. (They are back, by the way, reported to have recently set fire to farms in Oyo State!) Leadership lapse was further compounded by admission by the governor of Kaduna State that he had been paying ‘blood money’ to the killers responsible for that human and sustenance campaign of depletion!

Impunity stalks the land, indeed it is virtually lording it all social interstices. Let no one take my word for it – simply turn the pages of the media any day. Impunity’s ravages churn the mind. Somehow, this nation – and here again we turn to our learned friends – this nation generally failed to recognize, much less learn from the murder and enabling implications of the unsolved murder of Bola Ige, the nation’s Attorney-General and Minister of Justice. The Bar Association accepted the casual disposition of its erstwhile captain and has – understandably perhaps? – moved on. For some of us however, the files are not closed. Others also appear to be determined to keep them open, though of course, remain blissfully unaware that their boastful, impenitent conduct in other departments constantly re-ignite the time clouded embers. I believe that the present crisis in judicial ranks offers yet another opportunity to bring up that tragedy starkly and rub the nation’s face in its horror. Only thus do we make all understands why it remains intolerable that any attempt be made at trivializing the nature of corruption. especially in order to score dismissive political points. The work of the Reformist Twenty – now firmly established in our minds as a pledge - is clearly cut out for them, and must not be shirked.

For those whose memories have faded on that crime: Bola Ige was murdered in his bedroom by professional assassins, his police minders having abandoned him to his own devices. Before his final posting as Minister of Justice, he was Minister of Power – and what a frustrating tenure that was for him, frustrating and humiliating. As I have remarked elsewhere numerous times, his was a ministry in which I took keen personal interest. He kept me posted on the ups and downs - the betrayals, conspiracies and actual bouts of sabotage. When he left Abuja to set up camp in Lagos in order to slice through to the centre of sabotage, we remained in constant touch, either in person, or through his Special Assistant, Dr. Olu Agunloye. Bola Ige had been named to a prestigious legal position in the United Nations and was then on his way to take up the posting. His past in the Ministry of Power pursued him however. It had pursued him into the ‘face-saving’ ministry of Justice. That transfer however only placed been in an even more powerful position to bring to justice those who had held this nation to ransom for years and retarded her development through systemic corruption of gargantuan dimensions in his former ministry. He had to be eliminated.

That was tragic enough. However, what happened next is what remains to haunt this nation,  at least those portions of it that still attempt to cling to even the barest shreds of social conscience. Talk of history repeating itself! A shaming round of judicial penkelemes, near identical to present proceedings, ensued.  Even before the trial proper, judges sat, fulminated, cooed, withdrew, were re-assigned, recused themselves, sat tight, defied pressure, succumbed etc.etc. on the issue of bail to some of the accused. Virtually all complained of external interference. One of them, Justice Abass, kept a diary in which he accused – among other culprits members of the Bar – that is, members of the Nigerian Bar Association - of improper importuning on behalf of some of the accused. One of them was set down as actually bringing messages from highly placed “least expected” quarters. The the judge was moved to soliloquize, in his diary: What is their interest?. What is at stake that officers sworn to uphold the law should attempt to exert improper influence on me, and in such a brazen manner. The importuning included material inducements.

Justice Abass put up a struggle but eventually threw in the sponge. The pressure, the harassment, proved too much. Before that however, he made copies of his diary and distributed the pages for safe-keeping. Three or four of these pages came into my possession – I made this public knowledge at the time. I asserted that, at the very least, in attempting to solve that murder mystery, the diary was one place to begin. Who were these highly placed people who had such a prohibitive stake in Bola Ige’s murder trial as well as the situation of the suspects that they suborned sworn officers of the law. The crime, incidentally, was littered with clues – this was just another wedge through which it became mandatory to penetrate through to the sordid crime and identify the conspirators. The case had developed unsavory but exceedingly useful ramifications. Who were these forces so bent on subverting the processes of justice in the investigation of the murder of the highest Law Officer of the land? We screamed in vain. The NBA did not take up the challenge. That Association had a primary responsibility of ferreting out the tools of subversion in their midst. Justice Abass set down dates, place, hour and witnesses – in writing. He used a code of initials for participants.

This narrative remains incomplete without reference to another form of intervention. Along the way, during our own ‘busybody’ forays, we invaded the American Consulate. Why? Simply because we had learnt that the American government had offered help, that they had assigned some experts to assist the Nigerian police in unearthing the mystery of the murder, but that the police had rejected help. We headed for the embassy to insist that they should ignore the Nigerian police. Bola Ige was already an international civil servant of the United Nations anyway, and was entitled, even more so in extra-judicial death, to considerations of international intervention. The Consul-General received us cordially. She confirmed our information, that the Nigerian government had refused the offer of assistance. I asked permission to use her phone and we called the president, who was none other than Olusegun Obasanjo. Was it true, I asked, that his government had rejected external assistance? 

Details of the exchange are not relevant to this narrative, though they are readily available if of interest to anyone. What matters is that there was serious talk of introducing lie-detectors to be used on the accused, its effectiveness or whatever or acceptability. We were put on Hold while Obasanjo called the Inspector-General of Police, and put him on the speaker-phone. All that is of interest, but is not really crucial to the subject of this intervention. There will be further elaborations in due course.

I have brought it up principally to exclaim: History Strikes Again! Also to decry yet again the unbelievably short memory span of that breed known as Nigerians. Amnesia is often a contrived tactic of escapism, which, to put it bluntly, is another word for moral cowardice. I have brought it up principally to remind the judiciary, and associate orders such as the Bar Association, that the war between impunity and Justice is an incessant one. Corruption is not a trait to be trivialized for political opportunism or locker-room guffaws. Corruption murdered the Nation’s Minister of Justice and Attorney-General, and Justice was rendered helpless in the defence of its own Prime Advocate. The reign of impunity will prevail as long as the legal community continues to betray its calling, its oath of office, even its rites of professional collegiality and its responsibility to the rest of us. It is disappointing that even under a government that promised to dust up the files of political murders and end that reign of homicidal impunity, the Association has not thought fit to demand from the Buhari government its findings. There is more than ample material to warrant a Judicial Commission, and that demand has come up again and again. It will continue for as long as there remains a shred of conscience somewhere in this nation, especially when provoked into resurgence by the antics of those who murdered Justice to enthrone corruption and bask in the miasma of Impunity.

As always, election time brings out the worst of animalism in political participants. Justice was betrayed on that edition, repudiated, hung up to dry, and the door left wide open for commissioned killers. Bola Ige, Senior Advocate of Nigeria, died in the line of duty. Justice Salami at least survived the rites of passage – I felt honoured to have been invited by him to deliver the lecture for his valedictory occasion. The government at the time of Ige’s killers know the truth. That government protected – I repeat – protected, and rewarded his killers. Those who wish to dispute this had better first immerse themselves in the circumstances of that murder, and the unconstitutional, indeed illegal trajectory of the principal accused, one that not only facilitated his unconstitutional participation in the ensuing election but catapulted him straight to the occupancy of the seat that had been kept warm for him during his trial and absence. On release, he was ushered straight into the slot of Chairman of the Appropriation Committee of the House of Representatives. That was not all. The head of that government, General Olusegun Obasanjo, proceeded to burnish Ige’s memory with characteristic zeal. With that victim in no position to defend himself, that inveterate letter-writer sent a reference letter to Ige’s new abode – just in case there are ministries of power over yonder:

“We put Bola Ige there to rectify the power situation. It turned out that he did not know his left hand from his right”

Bola Ige’s murder took place at election time. Once again, we are confronted with another election. Killings and kidnappings have escalated. Once again – coincidence be damned! - the judiciary is in disarray. A political association  – which I once described as a den of killers - is regrouping, wishes to direct the fortunes of this nation yet again. This nation needs no reminding that, yes indeed, the rule of law must prevail, and constitutionality must not be trivialized. Neither however, must criminality, or else, history merely repeats itself in increasingly dismal accents. Justice becomes neutralized.

Citizen Forum welcomes the Reformist Council of Twenty. On the political forum, we urge: Let the ghosts of the past be laid to rest. Let a new breed emerge.

Wole Soyinka

Convener, CITIZEN FORUM

Opinion AddThis :  Featured Image :  Original Author :  Wole Soyinka Disable advertisements :  from All Content http://bit.ly/2GnxJjK

#Blogger