something something The most capable person in the world, who could kill a human being just by finding a particular artery in the neck, who can move faster than a speeding bullet, who can break bone by squeezing hard enough, who can shut off the parts of his brain that recognize pain in order to push through it and do what needs to be done, who’s been forgotten and abused and turned into a monster by the world he regardless chooses to love and yet if he deemed it necessary he could destroy that world with barely a single finger lifted, who bears such a heavy rage a fury inside of him that he pushes into the dark cold cell in the back of his mind every day because if he lets it out who knows who he would hurt, who cares for the world but never at the cost of the people closest to him, the people who have equally suffered at its hands
and yet. one slim, pale, scarred hand around his throat. a steady, golden, single-eyes gaze. one word. and he would kneel.
he would allow those fingers to pull open his jaw, a thumb to run over teeth stronger than most and just sharp enough to easily break skin if necessary, and he would not bite down. his eyes would close, his breath would shake, and he would go easily when his chin is pulled forward, up, presented like a prize hound at a show, docile and calm and so, so still. fingers running gentle down his jaw, taking again a loose grasp of his throat, a gentle reminder of where control lies.
no chain or collar or cage is necessary. the calm voice of a man who burns hot as the sun and furiously as a forest fire is plenty enough to keep him in check.
after all, he holds the end of that dog’s leash in his own palm
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Let's try a weird one and see if I've double up on it too XD
Joshua by Simon Curtis for Caleb.
now this is some PRIME amv potential for Caleb's self-loathing and longing...
many words, so see under the cut for Thoughts :3
I'm so tired of people always saying that I'm a good person, 'cause I'm not
It's like, if they could only see what was in my head
So our intro is Caleb's standing conclusion of his character and backstory c. ep 18 when he tells Beau and Nott the story of how he killed his mother and father:
"But you didn't know what you were doing--"
"So what?"
"You were brainwashed."
"So what?!"
"Programmed."
"Doesn't matter, I should have-- I'm a disgusting person. It doesn't matter."
[Instrumental]
Backstory time! Titles over pleasant shots of Bren and his parents and Frumpkin :3
Little boy's coming to his own
He's gotta make them big decisions 'cause he's grown
He's gonna get a rude awakening if he don't realize
Who really loves him, who lies
This bit could covers the beginning of the Caleb origins comic pretty well, I think. First line, a smiley Bren heading into Rexxentrum, getting settled. Second line: excelling in his classes and getting picked by Trent alongside Astrid and Wulf. Third line is the haircutting and 'endurance training' with residuum. Fourth line starts with blumendrei cuddling up in the tower and then the 'lies' hits with Trent's grin as he sees them the next morning.
Do you ever stop to wonder if they love you
When you look into the mirror do you see the truth
Or do the voices in your head still got you confused
Do they make you wanna say
More Caleb origins. First line: blumendrei teamwork torture and bath. Second line: blumendrei going home (good end) and then 'do you see the truth' goes with Trent's Modify Memory. Third line: back to Blumenthal, murder time. Fourth line: fire, screams, yowling.
I-I'm not who you think I am
I-I-I-I-I'm not who you think I am
I-I-I-I-I'm not who you think I am
1: Bonk -> in the Sanatorium
2: Aging/beard growing
3: Mind cleared + escape -> Trevor Albrecht
Who I am
Who I am
Who I am
1: Eren Angermeier
2: Colin Krämer
3: Philip Sommer
I'm not a good boy
In jail (Max Degenhardt) -> Caleb Widogast
Wonder if you ever stop and think
About whatever happened to me
Did you ever maybe think that I was victimized
By those who said they loved me, they lied
Line 1: Trauma response in the manticore cave -> Molly's slap + forehead kiss. Line 2: Party's on the road! Line 3: Victory Pit Trent sighting + High Richter house Fjord sword moment. Line 4: Nott saying her fake name is Bren.
Do you ever stop to wonder if I love you
When you look into the mirror do you see the truth
Or do the voices in your head still got you confused
Do they make you wanna say
Line one is totally this moment: "You should just go. You have told too much. I am going to go. It's time to go. He sits there for a solid five minutes. Then two hours. Wait for everyone to wake up."
I-I'm not who you think I am
I-I-I-I-I'm not who you think I am
I-I-I-I-I'm not who you think I am
Who I am
Who I am
Who I am
I'm not a good boy
Pirate arc montage maybe? (<- is in desperate need of a rewatch)
Ooh, do you know that you broke me down-down-down
Ooh, and I'm letting it go, I'm breaking it down-down-down-down
Would be fun to flash forward and back here
1: "You made vulnerability look so easy"
2: "Light them up, pretty."
Ooh, forever I know you've broken it down-down-down-down
Ooh, I just want you to know you can turn it around
this time back and forward
1: "Your people were doing experiments and trying to find out and harness the power of-- What? It's your people! It's the people that you know and trained with."
2: "Maybe if I could talk plainly with you and see one inch of change, then I wouldn't believe we're all damned."
[Instrumental]
This bit from ep 49:
"I'm not a very good person."
"Well, I don't think our actions define who we are all the time. Good people do bad things sometimes. Even bad people do good things. I think you're a good person."
And then Fjord and Jester with the one-two punch of:
"Also, I don't think a very bad person would care about us."
"I don't think a very bad person would care that he was very bad."
I-I'm not who you think I am
Cut to Caleb offering the beacon and Essek being all 😒
I-I-I-I-I'm not who you think I am
I-I-I-I-I'm not who you think I am
Who I am
Who I am
Who I am
I'm not a good boy
Xhorhas arc + traveler con mayhaps
I-I'm not who you think I am
I-I-I-I-I'm not who you think I am
I-I-I-I-I'm not who you think I am
Who I am
Who I am
Who I am
I'm not a good boy
aeor montage
and then the outro getting staggered like so:
"You're a good person."
This isn't about you
It's about me
"(sighs) I... could be."
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