#when volume 7 breaks your heart so you draw the babies

[vannistilldraws]

Day 8: Yang and Blake

#my art #rwby #rwby blake #rwby yang #yang and blake #yang x blake #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby bmblb #bmblb #bmblb fanart #let me 🐝 your bmblb #when volume 7 breaks your heart so you draw the babies #rwby bees

[nakamoto-aesthetics]

Period | n.yt

synopsis: just know it got really sexual out of nowhere

genre: sexual, fluff in the beginning

pairing: boyfriend!yuta x female!reader

warning: nipple orgasm, heavy mentions of period blood and period sex, also yuta knows everything.

a/n: this story went way farther than I thought it would but it’s okay. please enjoy :)

word count: 4.1k

‘ding’

you pull your eyes away from the tv as your phone lights up. it was a text. the contact popped up as ‘yuyu🐙❤️’ a.k.a yuta.

‘gonna be late tonight, don’t wait up. I love you angel <3’

you press your lips into a thin line. that was no good for you. you wanted to be cuddled up with your boyfriend and feel all of his body heat radiate onto you. you press the camera icon that’s next to the message bar and hold out your phone so your whole face was visible. you stick out your bottom lip, creating a pout. you press the circle button at the bottom, capturing the picture. you look at the pic for a few seconds and decide you were satisfied with it. you press the done button and accompany it with a text. ‘okay :( I love you too yuyu <3’ you press the send button and shut off your phone, sighing.

‘you’ll see him soon, it will be just fine’ you say to yourself in your head, trying to put your brain to rest. you’ve been craving yuta all day, desperately waiting for 7 pm (the time he gets out) to come around. you did all that just to find out that he was gonna come home late. usually, you were never this clingy but considering you were on your period it was much, much different. you weren’t having cramps or anything you were just super-duper clingy.

‘ding’

you quickly pick up your phone. ‘1 image’ you hurriedly unlock your phone, eagerly wanting to see the love of your life. your eyes are met with a picture of him pouting his lips, hair sticking to his forehead from all the dancing, and his eyes still managing to shine brightly. you could tell he’d secretly taken this from the way his phone was held from a downward angle, and he was looking down at the camera. you smile and move your eyes down to the caption.

‘your so cute baby, I can’t wait to get my hands on you later :) but I have to get to work :( see you later my love❤️❤️❤️’

you bite your lip softly and send three red hearts, finishing off the conversation. you press your phone to your chest and close your eyes, letting your mind wander to him. yuta was your mr. right, he always knew how to make any situation better than it was. you absolutely adored him, with his big smile and shiny eyes. he kept you smiling all the time. damn did you miss him right now. you lay your head back against the couch and release a long breath.

you put your phone down on the coffee table and lay down on the bed, pulling the comforter atop of you. you figured a nap would help ease your mind and push you closer to seeing yuta. you close your eyes and try to stop the random thoughts popping in your head. your lips press into a thin as you try to go to sleep but it doesn’t work considering, that you were laying there for multiple minutes on end.

you heavily sigh and open your eyes grabbing your phone, you knew just the trick. you open the vlive app, clicking on the NCT tab, then on the star board, scrolling down to one of your favorite lives. you smiled when you found it, the title was ‘everyone, thank you so much!!’ (yuta’s vlive from february 24, 2020) you clicked on it and there he was… the love of your life. you pressed the icon in the corner and it full-screened the live so then yuta was taking up your whole screen.

you sighed in relief trailing your eyes over every feature on his face. he was beautiful and you reminded him of that every day in different ways. ’this would have to do for now’ you thought. you turned up the volume on your phone just so you could hear him talk, his voice was so calming and therapeutic especially when he spoke in japanese. oh, how you loved it when he spoke japanese. you didn’t understand most of it but it was still a huge turn-on, and at the same time it made you feel so relaxed. yuta truly had a healing soul and there was no doubt about that.

you watch the vlive for a few minutes before your eyes started to feel heavy. you close your eyes immediately fall asleep, no random thoughts in mind once-so-ever.

only the thought of yuta and his healing being.

yuta walks into the house, at an earlier time than expected but still later than usual. yuta pulled off his jacket and took his shoes off.

“angel?” he says loudly. he doesn’t get a response and heads to the first place he knew you would be at. the bedroom.

sure enough, he finds you there, sleeping peacefully. your back was facing him so he couldn’t see your face, it didn’t matter to him though. he leans against the doorframe and watches you for a few seconds. he wanted you to have a few more moments of solitude before he broke it. he couldn’t see your face but he knew you were sleeping. he could hear your soft breaths drawing in and out. he wakes up before you all the time and this gave him a lot of time to memorize your breathing patterns. sure, it was a little weird but yuta didn’t care. he paid attention to the small things you did, observing and analyzing them. it sounded a little creepy but to him that’s wasn’t the case at all. he wanted to learn all about you, if he could take a class on you he would’ve but for right now all he could do was talk to you and observe you.

he decided enough was enough and walked over to you. the first thing he noticed was his face on your phone. it was his vlive from a few months ago, the volume wasn’t too loud which is why he hadn’t heard it until now. he smiled softly, feeling so warm in that moment. he looked at your face. you looked so soft and adorable making him smile further. he pushes a strand of hair behind your ear and in return, you shift and pout softly.

yuta couldn’t wait any longer, it felt like his heart would burst right then and there. he crossed his arms and pulled his shirt up over his head. yuta knew how much you loved to feel his skin on yours. he turned off your phone, putting it to the side, and opening up the comforter to get inside. you whine in your sleep and naturally move over, making room for him. he slips inside and pulls you towards his chest gently. you stir a little bit but end up with your head pressed to his chest and your hand laying flat against his warm skin.

“baby” he softly says, caressing your hair with the back of his hand. you whine softly and slowly stir awake. he continues to caress you softly, moving his hand down to your cheek. you lean into his touch, still half asleep, slowly turning your lips up into a smile.

“hi,” you say softly and cuddle more into his chest. you look up at his face but only visible see a little bit of it. you connect your lips to the bottom of his jaw.

“hi princess,” he kisses the top of your head. “did you miss me?” he grins.

“yes I did,” your cheek flushes against his chest. “you're so warm and cuddly” you move around to wrap your arms around his waist.

“so are you” he bites his lip softly and rubs your back softly.

“how was practice?” you press your lips to his skin and kiss it softly.

“tiring as usual. how was your day?”

“boring. I missed you the whole time” one of your hands move to grip his bicep.

“aw, you were on my mind too. I had to imagine singing and dancing for you to get through the practice” you chuckle and lean up so then you can see his whole face.

“you’re too cute” you smile widely and peck his lips. he immediately connects your lips again and grips your chin, holding it in place. he kissed you sweetly, not too fast and not too slow, it was… just right. you smiled against his lips, making him bite your bottom lip softly as he pulled away.

“you’re a tease” you pout and cross your arms.

“and you missy are on your period don’t forget that” he kisses the tip of your nose. you pout and sigh.

“you could still fuck me though,” you pretend to be interested in your nails. “all you have to do is wrap up”

“yeah, no” he strokes your cheek. you shift your eyes onto him.

“I know you wouldn’t mind it… yuta you inserted a tampon into me once. period blood doesn’t disgust you obviously”

“you're right it doesn’t disgust but doesn’t mean I'm gonna fuck you” he chuckles and kisses your forehead.

“but it gets rid of cramps” you pout and peck his lips.

“nice try, you don’t have cramps” he pecks your lips.

“how do you know?” you press a kiss onto his lips.

“because you would be curled up in a ball with a heating pad pressed to your stomach, some chocolate, and your phone so then you can watch friends,” you widen your eyes and he chuckles into the next kiss he presses to your lips. “and then you would be texting me to get more chocolate on the way home”

“you're wrong” you look down at his chest, not being able to look him in the eyes because you knew he was in fact, right.

“am I? you can never look me in the eye when you lie” he tilts your head up and smirks.

“why do you know everything about me?” you narrow your eyes at him.

“because I pay attention” he smiles and kisses your cheek. you huff and lay your head on his shoulder, looking up at him. the atmosphere got quiet after that. you were looking at yutas face as he was looking at yours. it was like you both were in a trace, taking in the features of the other.

“you were watching my vlive to fall asleep?” yuta breaks the silence. you hum and nod at the same time. “did you miss me that much?” he smiles softly.

“more than you know” you shift your eyes down to his lips and stare at them.

“your adorable baby girl” he rubs your back and flashes his pretty smile. that was the last straw for you. you sat up abruptly, making him furrow his eyebrows. you heard him utter a ‘what's wrong?’ but you ignored it and continued to hoist yourself upon his lap.

“y/n what are you doing?” he rests his hands on your hips. you don’t say anything and rest your hands on the sides of his torso, pressing a firm kiss to his lips before moving down to his neck.

“babe what did I tell you-” he gets cut off by your index finger against his lips signaling him to be quiet. you nip at his sweet spot and hear soft breaths from the boy under you. you smirk against his skin and move down to his collarbone creating a few hickeys. yutas hands squeeze your waist a few times letting you know that he’s enjoying it, you could also hear soft moans leaving his mouth. your hands grip his biceps as you move down and his hands slide up to your upper back. your lips were hovering over his pec, one of your favorite places on him.

you licked your lips and pressed a few kisses along the outline of his left pec, making a few hickeys here and there. after you finished kissing all the skin you moved down slightly to his nipple. you looked up at his face, you wanted to watch this. you dipped your tongue down and lapped at his nipple once, you knew how sensitive they were once he got turned on. it was always a beautiful sight, to say the least.

yuta let out a sharp moan, throwing his head back. you stared at him in amazement, biting your lip softly. you connect your lips to his nipple and start to suck on it. you move your other hand to his other nipple, you play around with it a bit. you squeeze it between your thumb and index finger. you then take your hand off his nipple and squeeze his whole pec.

one of his hands grip the sheets and he looks down at you, he watches the way your lips move but that doesn’t last long because he throws his head back as soon as he looks at you. the sight was too hot for him, he swore he could cum right then and there from just watching you. a string of moans leaving his mouth as he felt a knot forming in his lower stomach. that’s right he was indeed about to cum untouched.

yuta looks down at you once more. his mouth releases a mix of profanities and throaty moans, his hands reaching to your hair and pulling on it harshly but it didn’t disturb you. you were pretty used to it from all the other times you guys have had sex, it turned you on a bit. you sped up your pace, sucking harder, and played with the nipple roughly. you watched his face contour beautifully, his eyebrows were knitted together, eyes squeezed tightly shut, nose was scrunched up, and lips parted with whiny moans falling from them.

“i-i’m g-gon-” a pornographic moan rips his throat. his back arches, catching you off guard for a second but you continue to suck, letting your other hand flick his other nipple. you feel his body convulse and his lips widen further as he throws his head back.

he’s panting after that and you take that as a sign to detach your lips and hand from his nipples. damn, you got to see all of that. you watched him intently, lips parted and eyebrows raised slightly. you couldn’t believe that just happened, you’d never seen something so lewd. porn couldn’t even compare to what you just saw but god damn was it hot, you swore you almost creamed your pants when he was cuming. you let your mind wander for a bit, thinking deeply about what just happened.

‘wait did he just-’ you shuffle down to his lower half and go to open his pants but not before a hand stops you.

“I need a second” a voice mumbles out, making you look up at him. he looked toasted after that orgasm. it must’ve been powerful as hell. you’ve never seen him orgasm like that before, it was very intense, to say the least.

“I’m not gonna suck you I just wanna see something” you lift the waistband of his pants now looking at his boxers. you could already see a prominent wet spot formed on the thin fabric. you then lifted the material and was met with a huge white sticky mess. “yuta” you softly say and sigh, looking at him.

“mm?” he hums, his eyes were closed and his body was relaxed as if he were going to sleep.

“you made a mess,” you huff. this catches his attention and he opens his eyes looking at you.

“what are you talking about?”

“in your pants, you made a mess in your pants”

“so? what does it mean to you?” he shrugs.

“I'm the one that has to clean you up”

“no you don’t, just come cuddle me” he opens his arms to you. you deny the offer, shaking your head.

“I can’t do that knowing that your sitting in your cum” he sighs at your statement and drops his arms.

“so how do you plan on cleaning me?”

“we’re gonna take a bath” you smile.

“but you're on your-”

“oh, I’m sorry, as, in we, I mean you. I’m just gonna be the one washing you up from outside the tub” you grin. he pretends to contemplate it when in reality he’s already made up his mind.

“okay,” he smirks and walks over to the bathroom that’s inside your shared room. you follow him seconds later and see his pants and boxers are already off.

“damn that was fast” you look him up and down and move around him. you bend down to plug the drain, then you turn the knobs to the temperature you knew he liked. as you waited for the tub to fill up you felt hands slip onto your hips, stroking them lightly. you close your eyes and sigh feeling so relaxed under his touch. you swore nobody could compare to the way he touched you. his hands glide up your sides, slipping under the thin shirt you were wearing he rubs the bare skin gently and trails over to the front of your belly. you stood up completely and rested your body against his tall frame. yes, you could feel everything but you didn’t mind it one bit, letting your eyes shut and your body relax.

you loved the physical connection you and yuta shared, you could feel his love through his touch. you were proud to say that was something you’d never felt with anybody else. you and yuta had been together for a year and a half now and every single moment up until when you first met him was amazing. you were sure that he was the one which is why you let your guard down with him. you’ve never shown someone so much of your personality because you were afraid of being hurt. you trusted yuta that much that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable in front of him.

“baby it’s done” he kisses the crook of your neck softly but doesn’t move from his place. you open your eyes and sigh bending down to turn off the water. his hands moved from your stomach to your hips and he gripped them before he moved from his place and stepped in.

he sat down slowly and relaxed his back against the tub. you got on your knees next to the tub, resting your forearms on the edge. you dip a finger in the water and swirl it around, watching him as he breathes in a deep breath and slides down in the tub, going all the way under the water. soon he comes back up and pushes his now wet hair up and out of his face, wiping his eyes. he then opens them and looks at you.

“damn” you whisper, the wind gets knocked out of you from just looking at him. yuta was undeniably pretty.

“what?”

“you’re so… sexy,” you say in awe. he doesn’t reply to that and instead, slowly turns the corners of his mouth up. you can’t help but to smile and look down. you hear the movement of water and soon his finger is under your chin and tilting it up.

“thank you princess” he leans over to you and pecks your lips.

“for what?” you smile.

“for everything, the compliment even though you're sexier, but for being my girlfriend, giving me a bath and giving me the best damn orgasm of my life holy shit” he shakes his head and smiles.

“you’re welcome and wait can we talk about that orgasm because holy shit yuta, I've never seen anything like that from you before” you widen your eyes and picture it.

“I know it was so intense, maybe because you weren’t touching me but I didn’t even know I could orgasm like that. is that how girls feel?” he whispers the last part making you laugh loudly and throw your head back.

“I don’t know about other girls but for me, it sure looked like it” you shake your head.

“well damn,” he laughs and shakes his head.

“wait but like, the noises you made really turned me on. they were so pretty,” you say in a slightly shy manner.

“oh really?” he smirks and leans in close to you. “maybe I should just start moaning in your ear randomly,” he says in a seductive voice, right next to your ear.

“no, no there’s no need to do that,” you gently push him away. “wait actually-” you give it some thought but then get cut off by a small gasp.

“you naughty girl,” yuta says with a smile and lightly hits the back of your hand. “your so lucky im in here because I would spank you” you stick your tongue out at him like a kid and presses his tongue to his cheek. “oh you’re in for it tonight. I don’t have to use your pussy I could just use your pretty mouth” his thumb reaches to stroke over your bottom lip.

“okay sir” you hold his hand and press a kiss to it before you stand up and grab the washcloth, putting soap on it. “stand up for me” he does so and you start at the top of his body and slowly work your way down. the whole time all you could think about was how perfect his body was, you would kill for a body like his.

you got down to his dick and released a breath, hesitant to touch it. you looked up at him for some type of permission. he looks down at you and furrows his eyebrows.

“you act like my dick isn’t yours, you can touch it whenever you want baby I hope you know that” he laughs loudly. you chuckle and nod, grabbing a hold of it and washing it. you can hear soft breaths coming from him and in an instant, his dick starts to grow.

“yuta” you sigh and let go of him before looking up at him. he looks down at you and releases a sharp breath.

“just like that, keep looking at me” his hand keeps your face in position, he’s looking at you with heavy lust-filled eyes.

“no” you shake your head. “after” you grab him in your hold and finish washing the rest of his body. you heard occasional grunts along the way. once you were done you pull the plug releasing all the water from the tub. you grab a towel and wraps it around him, helping him out of the tub.

“there, all done” you smile and kiss his shoulder, walking him to the bedroom. “sit down please” he does just that, sitting on the bench right in front of the bed.

“your gonna dress me?” you hum in response and grab clothes from his drawers. once you were satisfied you set them on the side of him, grabbing the towel he had on and drying him off. you slip his boxers on and then grey sweatpants on.

“perfect” you lean in and peck his lips a few times before pulling away and putting the towel back in the bathroom. you return to him laying in the bed and go lay beside him. “aren't you gonna do something to me?” you stroke his chest with your index finger.

“yes” he turns toward you and pulls you up against him. your breath hitches at the abrupt movements. his hand slides down the curve of your hips and to your ass, gripping it harshly.

“what are you planning to do?” you saw the dark look in his eye like he wanted to do very bad things to you. usually, when he gave you that look it meant you were gonna be sore for a whole week.

“I’m gonna fuck you that’s what I’m gonna do” his hands slide between your bodies and his fingers graze over your clothed clit making you gasp and lay your head against his chest.

“b-but im-”

“it’s day 4, there's barely any blood there” he cuts you off. you sigh, he was right, you weren’t gonna get out of this one.

“then why didn’t you let me get in the bath with you?”

“you could’ve got in, I wouldn’t have cared and you know that. I was gonna ask you to get in but I got lost in you and forgot” he kisses your head and tilts your chin up to his face. “are you gonna let me fuck you?”

“yes,” you say slowly, feeling intoxicated by him. he smirks and presses his lips to yours gently before flipping you onto your back and hovering over you. his dark eyes changed from soft to harsh in a matter of seconds and before you knew it your arms were above your head.

“you're my slut tonight baby” he smirks with a sinister look. you were in for it tonight.

NCT Masterlist

#nakamoto yuta #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct imagines #yuta au #yuta x y/n #yuta nakamoto x reader #yuta imagines #yuta x reader #yuta #nct 127 #nct yuta #nct smut #nct #nct x reader

[furubaa]

Notes on Mushishi - Vol 1 & 2

This is the start of my personal notes on every Mushishi chapter (anime ep # in brackets). I’ve reread the manga over and over again looking for specific stories, so this is just for easier reference. 

VOLUME 1

1 - The Green Gathering (S1E1, The Green Seat)

Ginko learns of a boy who can create life by drawing or writing and decides to pay him a visit 

“The green here is so vivid it’s eerie”

A personal invitation to a banquet, presented with clear sake in a shallow green saucer - the exquisite scent of kouki, the water of life. 

The dull pain of being frozen mid-transformation, one foot out the door; realisation of emptiness, and yearning for a full exit from the world

Color seeping out of an untouched brush; power passed down the generations

Everything covered in moss where the kouki soaked in the ground

2 - The Soft Horns (S1E3, Tender Horns)

Ginko is summoned to cure villagers from hearing problems caused by Mushi, and to cure the village head’s grandson Maho, who has sprouted four horns on his forehead.

A quiet village deep in the mountains where even the wind does not pass; absolute silence on snowy nights, when even the sound of your voice disappears.

Bombarded with a flood of sounds, the spirit tires, and body weakens til death. The murmuring of a single Mushi is a microscopic sound, until made aware of the trillions of Mushi clamouring all over the world, calling to each other like echoes.

An intimate gesture of protection - the sound of your mother. A volcanic eruption seen long ago. The lava inside of you, dissolving everything.

3 - The Pillow Path (S1E4 The Pillow Pathway)

Ginko pays a visit to a man named Jin who has premonitions in his dreams as a result of a Mushi affliction caused by Imeno no Awai. 

4 - The Light in the Eyelids (S1E2 The Light of the Eyelid)

Ginko visits a girl named Sui, who is suffering from a Mushi affliction that has made her eyes sensitive to light.

“Behind your eyelid you have another eyelid.” 

There's a river of light flowing underground that illuminates even the pitch black; there has to be total, true darkness to see it. “Light particles come from very far away/ and they flow past me.” “Stretching out for eternity at your feet”

Ginko sitting on the opposite side of the river bank; a warning from a stranger.

“You spent too much time in the dark with Sui” ... Mushi that breed in the darkness. 

5 - The Traveling Bog (S1E5 The Traveling Swamp)

Ginko is traveling through the mountains to see his friend, Adashino. Along the way, he meets a girl named Io, who lives inside a swamp that is capable of moving by itself.

Ginko finding himself travelling in step with a swamp that sinks into the earth and then floats up over and over again, passing through the mountains

A girl sacrificed to save her village from a flood, wearing ceremonial robes; a bride presented to the water god, pushed off a cliff in a storm.

A large green thing that calmly rose up through the raging water; swimming at the bottom of a river that was overflowing its banks. It said, “You should continue to live.”

“When people drink them, their bodies become transparent... and then, they flow away.” Choosing to become Mushi is to exist between life and death; slowly wearing away at your human heart.

Following the journey of a ten thousand year old swamp to its death; moving towards the sea, the dying form of a liquid mushi. Accompanying it on its final journey.

“Swamps are born, eventually they stagnate, and when the universe they have contained within themselves ends... they get up on their own and start to move.”

VOLUME 2

6 - The Mountain Sleeps (S1E11 The Sleeping Mountain)

While traveling, Ginko passes through a town settled near a mountain. He learns that a Mushi Master is living on the mountain, but hasn't visited the village for quite some time, and every person who had been sent to find him has fallen ill and died.

“A smell both sweet and rancid that rises from the ground and touches each leaf. One by one. Coiling around them and choking their skin. A light vein, where the river of light flows.”

Ginko tapping into a mushi that acts as the mountain's nerves, sinking their wills into the plants and running around. 

“The water of life (...) Women bear children like cats or dogs; twins, triplets, or even quadruplets, abandoned in the mountains.”

A travelling Mushishi who puts his roots down. The one he loves committing an unforgivable act so that they can be married. Assuming the role of a slain mountain boar god; his bones will lie here. 

An aged man, summoning an immortal spirit to take his place of guardian forever - a necessary sacrifice to return the world to natural order.

7 - The Sea of Brushstrokes (S1E20 A Sea of Writings)

Ginko comes to a house which has a library full of mushi-related scrolls. There, he meets the girl who writes the scrolls, and hears the story of the curse that has been afflicting her family for generations.

A large dark crypt; an enormous library of scripts recording ancient history

Scribes cursed with immobility and marked for death, the only way to quell the Mushi is to seal them with words. A tradition of inviting travelling Mushishis to feed the writers myths in order for them to expel their words, physically manifesting them, an excruciating process for survival of self - and if not, the survival of your descendants. Plucking words and returning them to order, duty. Little by little, a receding scar. 

8 - They That Breathe Ephemeral Life (S1E6 Those Who Inhale the Dew)

Ginko's services are requested by a boy named Nagi, who lives on a distant island, to investigate the case of Akoya, a girl revered by the people as a "Living God".

A brief moment during the spring tide is the only time you can get to the island; only safe one day per month to take a boat out. a barren island with little soil, villagers surviving with moral support from their god. 

Tapping the center of the forehead with a needle, a curlicule of a mushi spiralling out

“When i was the Ikigami and aged when the sun set i could always shut my eyes and fall asleep feeling satisfied (...) But now my legs tremble at the immense amount of time ahead of me.” Living Mushi's life cycle of a single day - every second of every day experienced fresh, so much wonder you can't keep up. “My heart was always satisfied.”

When faced with tragedy, the girl finally chooses to return to the state of suspension - the luxury to forget and detach from mortal burden.

9 - Rain Comes and a Rainbow is Born (S1E7 Raindrops and Rainbows)

Ginko encounters a man named Koro, who has a strange habit of pursuing rainbows, and helps him find one particular rainbow that he is looking for - the Kouda.

A father delirious for rain - a strange man running around happily, and a mysterious rainbow dancing in odd shapes. A body that thirsts - “I miss that rainbow so much… I can’t stand it.” 

A boy who runs away to escape the burden of a dying father; to prove his worth and his father’s.

Ginko who must travel constantly, taking a break by finding purpose in small goals - You can’t live only for the sake of living; rest is essential. 

A natural phenomena created from light and imbued with kouki - “There's a reason they occur, but they have no purpose - existing only to keep flowing. Nothing can affect them, but they affect those around them, and then they leave.”

* 10 - The Veil Spore (S1E21 Cotton Changeling)

A couple summons Ginko to investigate their sick child, Watahiko, who has developed green spots all over his body. The father explains that the child didn’t look human when born - instead, it was a strange green mass that swiftly escaped. A year later, he found a baby under the house.

A wedding procession that passes through a forest - “A green stain on my cotton wedding gown.” A boy born green and formless, that slipped out and under the house. The main body; a mat of spores spreading under the house, dirt that wriggles under the sun.

One year later, it sends out a human-mushroom; every half year, the same child born again and again. Harmless children joined together at the root, that exist only to collect nutrients, that die and spit out seeds. “Mushi that wear the skin of your dead child.”

The human instinct to kill everything we don’t understand.

A baby with a body that grows faster than the mind. Children that evolve rapidly - “After learning words i forgot how.. I forgot how.” The primal instinct for survival lost. The cost of intelligence.

The Watahiki, when faced with danger, disconnects its children from the root, in an attempt to save at least the seeds - the children change form and enter a long dormant period.

An organism that strays from its recorded life cycle. 

Not that I’m doing this for public consumption (who even is going to read all this) but anyways FYI I’ve got structured notes on the next volumes in my drafts & if I ever get round to finishing all of them they’ll be tagged as #mushishi notes 

#mushishi #manga #mushishi notes #started doing this because i was trying to decide which volumes to buy lol #and also i love this manga dearly and wanna organise my thoughts on it

[reynie-muldoons]

'A Whisper, Not a Shout' liveblog!

0:00 I'm screeching I've been looking forward to this so much

1:30 so that's Miss Perumal, right? Right???

1:30 WAIT HOLD ON Number Two was sleeping????

1:48 I'm sorry but Number Two being ready to fire at will with a slingshot is funny as hell to me

1:58 Oh, I guess Rhonda makes sense too. But like what is she doing out at night if she's not the one keeping watch

2:10 as always, the intro slaps

3:14 WAIT HAHAHA Sticky yelling about cheating in the open is so in character 😂😂 so is Kate giving him shit for it

3:22 tactical advantage? Constance, as always, in on something different

3:44 ah yes, convenient Dr. Curtain is convenient

4:16 is....is she spearing a fish

4:25 is that water deep enough to even have octopus?? 😂

4:37 OOH GO RHONDA

4:43 OOOOHHHHH that's where the badminton racket from the intro comes in!!

5:15 dont fucking tell me the episode is named after an octopus dish and not the fucking Whisperer

5:29 they do all seem a bit rattled, that's a good way to put it

5:36 he cares about the kids so much stoppp 🥺

6:14 the hand gestures speak volumes 😂

6:41 workplace matters?? Workplace matters??? How is Milligan so goddamn funny on every occasion 😂😂

6:50 HIS FACE EATING THE OCTOPUS HAHAHA

6:55 here we gooo, it's time for Assault Alpha featuring special agent Bookmarks

7:10 never takes long for Dr. Curtain to say something pretentious, does it

7:16 show!Curtain is much more insidious than book!Curtain imo because in the book, he had no reservations about barking orders and being openly rude to his subordinates. In the show, he's covered in this nice, polite veneer.

7:38 omfg he's asking about the tableside salad thing, what a gem

7:57 I kinda love that he's the sort of guy to carry colored pens for coordinated notes

8:02 AYY CALLED IT Kate's in the tree, I called that in the preview last week 😂

8:21 here we go, now enter special agent Bookmarks

8:56 for some reason I expected Constance to tell her telepathically, but that's jumping the gun a little 😅

9:02 I like how the smile doesnt quite reach his eyes, he's losing patience and you can tell

10:19 and just like that, he's called Reynie a whacko with the words of a compliment

10:37 ayyyyy Sticky tryna draw a brainnnnn

11:03 hahahaha he drew everything upside down because he saw it upside down, that makes a hilarious amount of sense

11:18 "it's supposed to be a shoe" honey.......

11:39 soooooo cheating

12:10 every time I think we're seeing Miss Perumal, we see Rhonda

12:21 why is the thought of Number Two tailing her sister so funny to me

12:38 Rhonda Kazembe with the reminder to wear a mask 😌✨

12:45 OOOH VIGILANTE GRAFFITI

13:44 the butterfly effect at it's finest. It's risky, but Rhonda makes a good point

13:49 that is an exquisite example of what it's like living as a neurodivergent person. Coping mechanisms keep us sane and keep us functioning, and that's tangible.

14:30 the beauty of having a multi-faceted team with diverse skillsets

14:57 I love how he just agrees to rappelling off the building in response to getting caught cheating

15:19 Constance and Reynie's relationship hits that sweet spot later on, but right now it's really funny watching her ignore the fuck out of him

16:09 Number Two coping with her stress by withdrawing and getting snappy with everyone is painfully relatable

16:48 Mr Benedict and Rhonda being co-conspirators scratches an itch I didnt know I had

16:59 that's even funnier when you remember that the kids used 'saltines' as a code word for them

17:40 this is the class from the trailer that it looked like sticky was caught in 😬

18:34 oh yeah, not like the teacher is watching the class and would see you two staring at each other

18:51 ew 😂 I didn't have a close up on a drop of sweat on my bingo sheet, but maybe I should have

19:13 yeahhh I really dont know what he expected, they kept looking at each other and he made a face every time he did morse code with the pencil

19:46 Mr Benedict feeling hyperfixated on seeing his brother breaks my heart

20:27 Milligan 🥺🥺🥺🥺

20:38 oh hello Waiting Room

20:55 idk what to anticipate but I'm anticipating something

21:39 Oh.

22:33 nooooo 🥺

23:28 here it comes, the arc where Reynie blames himself for everything. See you in Prisoner's Dilemma when that arc concludes

24:15 she's not wrong 😂😂

24:18 HELLO TELEPATH HELLO HELLO HELLO

24:35 this is a sensory overload nightmare

25:21 oh shitttt, here's the billiards from Number Two's intro card

25:49 throwback to Rhonda saying what keeps her sane 🥺 sisters sisters sisters

26:13 dont fucking "oh"

26:28 this is what I mean about that veneer of kindness. Curtian knew Sticky was there, but presented it as a polite welcome to his office with a touch of concern.

26:54 here we goooo

27:12 disruptive fidgeting? That's ableist as fuck

27:24 "walk me through that" is such a condescending way to approach a conversation

27:47 I know he's acting it up to convince Curtain but he has made ✨points✨

28:00 so Dr. Curtain was playing the long game the whole time, knowing it was Morse code? What an ass, show some transparency

28:25 time to pin it on Martina

28:48 he's cruel and nothing less

29:28 this is psychological torture

30:02 turbines?

30:08 YEAHHHHH

30:34 he's not gonna be pleased until he sees Curtain, calling it now

31:03 Milligan gets it. He gets it so much.

31:59 STOPPPPP 😭😭😭😭

32:19 awwwwwwwwWWW

32:49 I'm so glad they kept that suspense

33:19 KATE STOP YELLINGGGG

33:38 SWEET KATE

33:45 YES ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR STRENGTHS STICKY

34:23 something about being read a story by Mr. Benedict is so comforting

34:45 🥺🥺🥺🥺

35:00 HERE WE GO MILLIGAN'S MEMORY TALK

35:48 THE PIECE IS KATE AND SHE'S ON THE ISLAND

35:57 fuck everything just give me that dynamic forever

36:29 she decoded it???? Dayummmm

36:32 so what I'm hearing is Constance has sensory overload problems. Fucking LOVE that rep

37:22 STOP YOUR BREATHING HHAHAHAH

38:04 Oh boy, we're already talking about The Improvement??

38:20 A LIST OF HELPERS?????

38:42 WHAAAAA

39:26 so what I'm hearing is, Mr. Benedict also feels as though if he sleeps in he'll miss something

40:00 traps traps traps traps

40:49 WHAT DOES RED MEAN, WHAT DOES RED MEAN

42:11 Kate overthinking everything 🥺

42:26 tetherball?? I love that that and water polo are the sports of choice

43:50 oooh tetherball team, good job Kate

44:49 HAHHAHH

45:29 Connie baby, my love, my child

45:53 Reynie putting himself out there for Constance kills me

46:33 promotion????

46:44 PROMOTIONNNNN I DIDNT THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN THIS SOOOON

47:24 lmaooo she really will never live that one down

47:47 Rhonda spits facts at every opportunity

THAT WAS SO GOOOOOD

#a whisper not a shout #mbs liveblog #mbs disney+ #the mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

[hes-writer]

Exclusive Content

this is a master list of all one shots, blurbs, series parts, and unfinished content that i have posted on patreon (so far)! click the title to read the sneak peek (if i’ve posted one)

———

*+VALENTINE’S DAY

the one where harry has an eventful day

“Shit! Are you crazy?” Y/N gasped in surprise when the passengers seat was occupied, the door opening and slamming shut all while the car moved at a speed of 15 km/h —cursing her forgetfulness for not clicking the locks shut.

“Keep driving!” The passenger shouted, looking back through the windshield.

* ACHY BACK

the one where y/n’s back hurts and harry draws a bath

“Took too long,” Y/N mumbled as they met in the middle, knuckling tiredly at her eyes. A pout sat on her face as Harry stopped himself from ducking his head and catching her plush lips with his, craving the sweet taste of her and her strawberry lip balm. Her arms wrapped around his snatched waist, halting his breath at the tightness of her embrace and settling for a kiss on her forehead, the scent of her shampoo wafting in his nostrils, knowing that she had taken a shower hours prior. Her back had been aching since then, the pain barely bearable for her stature, causing a crease in between his brows.

+ A LETTER TO THE MAN I’VE LOVED

the one where harry receives a letter from y/n

Is it really worth it to look back in retrospect about ‘what had been’ when she can think about ‘what could have been’ if both of them realized their faults? Granted, he was more resilient in that sense than her, but he was no better at the time. She made mistakes and it had haunted her to this day, practically killing her with each moment she spent without him by her side.

+ UNWAVERING (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

the one where harry cheats (another version of ‘a cheat’)

"I-I'm in a bit of a rush, baby.” He took a step back, increasing the distance between them. "I have a meeting today. Lots of work to be done," Harry responded his tone suggesting that he didn’t want to talk anymore. Y/N nodded to please him.

"Right. Maybe we can go out tonight to grab some dinner," She suggested, a hopeful glint in her eyes and he almost felt guilty for putting her at the back burner of his mind.  

"I really have to go, baby," Peeking his head around her frame, he spotted the untouched toast and apple juice resting on where he should be. "I'm sorry."

+ ALL I ASK

the one where feelings aren’t mutual and hearts are broken

“I don’t want to be scared of what will happen tomorrow or if all we have is right now because we’ll have nothing left but I am,” A sob ripped through his throat, emotions were heightened tenfold because she was so close yet so far and they were still Harry and Y/N but at the same time they weren't. They’ve changed over the span of one night. “All we have is tonight,”

* LITTLE PRINCE

the one where harry and y/n are 7-year olds

Harry gasped in horror, crouching to his knees and getting his knee dirty beside the girl.

"Y/N? Y/N! Are you okay? I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen. I swear I wasn't mad at you, I was just jok- Why are you smiling?" Harry yelped, panic evident in his shrill voice. His hands wandered towards her face, tilting it left to right, up and down, searching for any visible and invisible injuries besides the bump on her forehead.

RENEGADE

the one where y/n teaches harry the ‘renegade’ dance

“What are y’doing?” Harry asked, his eyes wide as his large palms ruffled the fluffy towel on his damp curls. The steam from the bathroom escaped to your bedroom where you were panting with effort, your chest heaving so hard that the peaks of your breasts rose with each breath. 

“Uh, what are you doing?” You retorted slowly, hiding your hands behind your back were your fingers gripped your phone. Your thumb dug hard on the volume bottom, frantically trying to decrease the music from the phone speaker. 

DROP THE TOWEL (m)

the one where harry does the ‘drop the towel’ challenge

“Hey, babe,” He greeted, walking closer to you in a towel that made him feel liberated. You hummed in a silent greeting, giving him a smile before doing a double-take at his appearance. He dropped the towel on the floor, his length hanging proudly between his legs. 

You gasped at the sight, the knife clanging on the marble counter, “Ooh, hi there,”

He smirked cockily, watching your eyes observe his body, tongue subconsciously peeking out between your lips until you snapped your head to the window, “Oh my god! There are people out there, Harry,” You wailed in alarm, bending over to hand him his towel.

DREAM WITH ME (exclusive content as of right now) - this fic will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus

the one where y/n has trouble falling asleep

Harry’s admiration gets interrupted when a sudden jolt took over Y/N’s body. He dropped his mouth open a little in shock, rubbing her back soothingly when she whimpered quietly, “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe with me,” She must have had experienced one of those moments when she was falling until her vision drooped to a shaded black. 

DIGRESS (1) PROGRESS (2) REGRESS (3) 

the one where love fails

What happens when love fades away? How do you cope with the feelings disappearing slowly like a blot of dark blue paint diluting with every stroke of a ruffled paintbrush? Y/N wondered if there was a chance to fixing what has been lost--what has disappeared as the canvas soaked through in a permeated osmosis. Coating the brush of blue with white paint took several layers to completely cover the mistakes. There had to be an effort in wanting to make the faults and errors completely opaque from the eye; the bleary, watery irises soaked with tears, dampening her lashes in a thick haze as she cried.

ROUTINE (1) (the first part will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus. following parts will be patron-exclusive content)

the one where harry is a camboy

In a blink of an eye, Harry’s toned body was showcased on the screen, allowing him to view what his viewers had the pleasure of seeing. The ‘LIVE’ sign blinked repeatedly.

“Hello,” Harry drawled out purposefully using a deeper tone to set the mood. “How are you today?” His fingers stayed hung over the armchair, griping it slightly when comments started rolling in.

NOTES ON CAMP (1) (2) (3) (exclusive content as of right now) - this fic will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus

Y/N plastered a smile on her face as she shook Belle’s hand. “Sorry but I need to steal Harry away,” Belle tugged on his tattooed arm, fingers clasping around his wrists as he started walking along with her. “See you, Y/N!” Harry greeted, turning around with his arm draped over Belle’s shoulder.

“See you,” She whispered under her breath, looking at his retreating figure towards the cafeteria. Y/N couldn’t help the disappointment she felt, her shoulders slouching at the realization that it was too good to be true. Of course, he had a girlfriend.  A gentleman with chiselled features and a caring personality complimenting her? No way. Still, she wasn’t too sad about it. It wasn’t like they’ve known each other for long. Plus, they were co-workers! It would feel wrong to start a relationship anyway.

STRESSED OUT

the one where y/n is stressed and harry wants her to take a break

“What d’ya mean I don’t get it?” He closed the paperback, making sure to clip in his bookmark to save his spot.

A pregnant pause slithered the room. Her fingers typing against the keys of her laptop ceased as she shot him a glare, “You’re not studying, are you? All you do is write songs, fiddle with a few instruments and sing it in front of people who adore you,”

Harry physically pulled his chest back. He felt like he had been shot. He knew she didn’t mean it though, but it still hurt to hear, “O-oh. I didn't know y-you felt that way,”

She continued, “You don’t know what it’s like having to spend hours researching so you don’t get anything wrong. Sleepless nights to perfect one paragraph that my professor nitpicks to the bone,” Y/N penned a few words on her notebook, not noticing the pout plastered on Harry’s face.

DESSERT

the one where harry wants something else

She pulled away, shaking her head adamantly, “No way! I spent all day cooking and you’re not gonna skip it just to eat my pussy,”

He the corners of his eyes squinted in offence at her description, “Your pussy’s top tier, baby.” Harry ‘tsked’ his tongue, “If yeh didn’t know that already, then I’m doing a horrid job,”

PET NAME

the one bff!harry just wants y/n to call him by his pet name

“Am I, Harry? Seems like you’re putting me at the back burner nowadays,”

He was speechless; had he? Harry didn’t mean to make her feel this way but he wasn’t aware that he was actively blowing her off for Ruby. And why won’t she call him ‘honey’? That was his nickname, wasn’t it? H stood for Harry but it was also the pet name Y/N had given him.

His voice emulated a soft, syrupy tone that lingered in the air whenever he spoke. He was the colour honey itself--golden and yellow like the colour of the sun. Harry was bright in its sense of intelligence and the way he illuminated the whichever room he entered. His kindness catered to everyone’s needs and left pieces of his heart wherever he went.

Harry was honey.

ROOMMATES SERIES (3) (4) (5) (6)

the one where harry and y/n are roommates

updates every 2 weeks!

will not be posted on Tumblr until the series is finished

Y/N gasped at Harry’s proximity, lids snapping open with her hand reaching over to pat along until she found her phone which was blaring with an alarm that she had set. Harry gulped, eyes wide as his mind ran through what the hell just happened.

“What are you doing here? Get out!” She yelled, tugging the sheets higher on her body. 

“I-I was just waking you up so you can make us dinner,” Harry stuttered out, his excuse sounding lame but he patted himself on the shoulder for making it up on the spot. Well, that was his intention in the first place until he got distracted.

FRIENDS DON’T MINI-SERIES (1) (2) (3)

“Is this okay?” Her doe irises searched his. Harry raised his head lazily to make eye contact, nodding his head with a bit lip. Y/N clenched her inner thighs together at his already blissed-out state, his pupils slowly becoming larger with arousal. “Friends don’t touch each other this way,” She purposefully drew out her statement, giving Harry an out of the situation if he needed to.

“More than okay,”

FIC EXTRAS #1 - TEASE

the one before ‘under the table’

“Fuckin’ dirty,” He spat, the pads of his thumb tracing circles on her hipbones, not feeling a trace of clothing resting on her hips. “Wearin’ a short dress with no panties,”

Y/N hummed, arms slanting behind her to support her upper body so that she could spread her legs further, making room for Harry’s hand. “Didn’t feel like it,”

“Y’just waiting for me to find out, hmm? You knew I couldn’t resist myself when you look so goddamn pretty,”

UNFINISHED DRABBLE #1

the one with fratboy!harry

“Y’alright?” Harry’s husky breath barely made its way to her ears, only then did Y/N feel the hand palming her lower back, another one gripped around her shoulders. Her front flushed against his own, feeling his hard chest on her heaving ones. She peeked one eye open, looking around at her angled stance, then to Harry who wore a concerned look scanning her face. Y/N nodded in response, blinking rapidly, her nipples hardening at a sudden cold breeze beneath the thin fabric of her dress, surely poking him through his shirt. She blushed at the thought and his brief glance over her where they touched, his eyes dilating the tiniest amount.

UNFINISHED DRABBLE #2

the one where harry’s a cheating asshole

Harry wormed his way through his delectable voice and his ever-present words that somehow scorched your shield to the ground. Again. He promised never to do it again and your love-sick heart trusted him. Again. 

But your trust wasn’t something that was particularly valuable to him. To Harry, it would always be there, lingering like the stars in the night sky; always present, always gleaming. Harry was very sorry for what he was doing to you. It was ironic, really; he hoped and prayed every day that you wouldn’t find out but his carelessness left everything out in the open.  

TEXT MESSAGES #1

the one where y/n has silly thoughts

TEXT MESSAGES #2

the one where harry and y/n share the same class 

#harry styles one shot #harry styles #masterlist #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #patreon exclusive #harry styles smut

[bittererlemons]

A Study in Family

Gen., Bobby&Dean, Family Comfort.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Dean wakes up to the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee. He rubs his eyes, which are still light red and agitated from crying the night before. He’s 10, and his dad says he’s practically a grown up – too old to cry like a baby. Bobby tells him he’s just a kid though, and that it’s okay to cry sometimes. It’s confusing, but Dean thinks he believes Bobby more. Kids on television and in movies cry all the time.

Besides, dad dropped him off at Bobby’s last night without an explanation and – more importantly – without Sammy. So Dean’s having a hard time putting much faith in his dad’s words at the moment.

He peels himself off the couch and trods to the kitchen, bare feet making soft noise across the carpet and linoleum. Bobby’s on the phone with someone, but he hangs up as soon as he sees Dean turn the corner.

Dean fights back a flinch and averts his eyes. Guilt climbs up his throat like a bug.

“Wasn’t listenin’ to your phone call, I promise.” And wow, if he thought his eyes looked rough from crying, his voice is a hundred times worse – rough and scratchy.

Bobby takes one look at him and scoops him up, sitting him down on the kitchen counter. He ruffles Dean’s hair and hands him a bowl of pancake mix and a whisk, “C’mon kiddo, enough worrying. ‘Gotta busted up Corvette in the garage just waitin’ for us to finish breakfast.”

Dean smiles as he whisks the pancake batter together. Pancakes mean maple syrup, and Bobby knows a couple of hunters up in Canada who send over the real stuff in exchange for help and intel.

Dean wonders if this is what normal kids feel like, waking up to their normal families with normal fathers and normal hobbies. He wonders if normal kids always have enough to eat and enough love to go around. He wonders if normal boys become mothers at age four, or if they have to call their fathers Sir. The thought of normalcy suddenly makes his chest hurt, so he stops wondering.

“Hey Dean, why don’t you go wash up? Food’s almost ready,” Bobby is gentle as he takes the pancake batter bowl and starts dolloping batter onto the griddle. Dean nods, hops off the counter and rushes to the sink.

By the time he gets back, the table is loaded with food and drinks better than any greasy truckstop diner. There’s enough for Dean to eat and feel full, and enough for leftovers if he gets hungry again before lunch. Bobby always makes sure he has enough food, even sneaks nonperishables into Dean’s bag every time he goes back to life on the road with John and Sammy.

Dean allows himself to wonder again, just briefly, if this is how it feels to be loved.

***********

The Corvette is more busted than Dean expects, but the sight of it fills him with a purpose. The thing looks like a modern art piece, all hard angles and uncomfortable valleys and canyons. He throws on some very clearly oversized coveralls and slides underneath the heavily dented body, only to find rusty wear on the exhaust and the passenger’s side strut shattered, abrading the front right tire.

Fixable, of course, but it would take some creative graverobbing from other cars to do so. He tells Bobby so, and he laughs and claps him on the shoulder proudly.

“Best get to it then. C’mon, let’s take a lap ‘round the scrap yard and find our victims.”

And Dean runs into the yard so fast he nearly trips over to too-long pant legs of his coveralls. Bobby smiles fondly down at him and kneels to re-cuff the material around Dean’s ankles.

They circle around the scrap yard like vultures, picking out Cameros and Novas to pick apart for pieces-parts for the Vette.

Bobby walks him through the process of welding patches into the exhaust. He doesn’t yell when Dean messes up the first tew times, only offers gentle correction and the opportunity to try again.

They settle into a steady rhythm, Dean working patches while Bobby drops in a new LT-1 engine under the hood. Bobby replacing both struts and Dean changing the front tires. Dean playing around on the creeper while Bobby brings out two glasses of lemonade and suggests a break.

Dean can’t argue with that; dad won’t be back for a couple days, so they have time to work on the car gradually. What work they’ve already done has lifted his mood and settled the restlessness in his bones. He feels alright enough to call it a day.

Bobby ruffles his hair and tells him he’s done a good job.

For a second, he lets himself wish that Bobby was his dad.

*******

They study after lunch.

Bobby takes pity on Dean and gives him a book he’d already translated into modern English. He also gives Dean a notebook for notes and margin doodles of the described creatures. Bobby picks out a file-folder of pictures from the inside of long-forgotten Greek temples to Hecate – the writing on the walls is barely legible, but he’s been working on it for a solid month so far. He also pulls some Greek myth compendiums to cross-reference.

He does all this knowing that he’ll likely spend most of their little study break helping Dean with reading comprehension and pronunciation, but Dean gets embarrassed when Bobby hovers too much, so Bobby has to have a project of his own to work on.

Dean makes good progress on the book, doodling absentmindedly as he works through tougher concepts and more complex syntax. More structured drawings come at the end of each chapter, almost as a reward for getting through the highly technical reference material. He only asks for Bobby’s help a handful of times.

Dean yawns and asks for a break. Bobby sends Dean off, staying behind to clear off the desk they’d been working at, hiding a smile as he does. Dean did well – had asked for help, had asked for a break, and had read through several chapters of the book without a fuss. Bobby is proud beyond words.

“That’s my boy” he whispers, just to see how the words feel.

***********

Dinnertime rolls around, and Dean is fast asleep on the couch, drooling into a pillow and clutching a blanket loosely. The television is on, playing a secondhand VHS copy of High Noon.

Bobby drops the volume down a bit

The house is warm and safe, and there’s no pressing matters to attend to at the moment. Bobby reaches to smooth out the furrow between Dean’s eyebrows; Dean leans into his hand, snuffling quietly. Bobby can feel his heart melt like butter in a hot skillet. He drops a kiss to Dean’s forehead and tucks the blanket around him snugly.

#spn #supernatural #bobby singer #dean winchester #fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction

[youarerageandserenity]

Borderlands Foam Wig Tutorial (Tyreen)

I was chatting with the lovely @void-noises-exe​ and it eventually circled around to offering to make a wig tutorial because you don’t see too terribly many, just thought I’d throw mine out ( especially because It was next to impossible to find good references of a foam version of Ty’s hair.) So this will be for foam wigs in general but Tyreen’s hair specifically (with a few pics of my Fiona wig from tales as well because they better accentuate my points) I didn’t plan on making this so I am missing a few pictures that might be helpful but here we go. This will not be short.

Supplies: 

-Craft foam (ideally, in small and XL sheets, but you can make do with whatever size you have available) 

- Spray paint as close to the BASE color of the wig you need (for Ty I used white, for Fiona a medium brown) ideally in a matte. 

- a FUCKLOAD of paints (i use cheap acrylics from the craft store ) in Black, and then several shades of the colors in the hair. (For Fiona i used i think four browns? Tyreens shaved sides have three browns, and the top had an additional yellow-brown i mixed) try to vary them in darkness levels to add depth.

- multiple paint brushes. I like to use around four or five of varying sizes and hardness levels.

- plenty Hot glue, and a hot glue gun (note: you COULD use other typres of adhesive, I like hot glue because its got great hold on foam, it sets FAST and worst case scenario I can take a hair dryer to it and melt it again if I need something to be undone.)

- scissors

- duct tape

-plastic wrap

-sharpie

-wig head

-Plenty of reference images

(optional supplies include a rotary cutter and or exacto-knife [trust me, itll make your life so much easier] ,  and patience. )

SO to start

1) Put your hair in a wig cap or however you plan on wearing it under your wig. Wrap your whole hair bit of your head in plastic wrap. Make sure you get over your ears and the baby hairs on your neck if you want to keep them. 

2) Wrap all the plastic covered bits in duct tape. This is easier for a friend to do on you, but not impossible to do alone, just make sure to get it all. It should be snug. Make sure you get as far down the back of your neck and down your sideburn area as you can. (Most characters have a bit of fringe hanging down in the back so its not the BIGGEST concern for them, but Ty’s got nada so you’re gonna want some good coverage for your hair line.) 

3) Take your sharpie and draw an outline of where your ear is, and along the hairline you’d like your wig to have. For short haired characters you dont want to cut too far behind the ear or your hair will peek out, so I like to underestimate how big my ear is and adjust as needed later. Dont make your wig hairline too high either, particularly if you’re making a wig for a character who has no fringe in the front. 

4) Take that bad boy off and cut along your outlines. Try it on again, adjust lines as needed. rinse and repeat. 

5) once you reach a semi-accurate mold of your head, you’re gonna wanna take it off and cut AT LEAST 4 (front, back, and both sides (I like to do 8, it will lay flatter) sections,coming to a point at the crown of your head. It should come out looking something like this. NOTE : they’re all still connected in the middle. If you’re doing 8, cut each of these 4 in half. )

6) Lay out your foam beneath this. If you dont have a piece of foam big enough to trace this bad boy onto, what I do is literally just break out the hot glue gun a bit early, glue a couple pieces together along the edges, until i get a nice big connected surface. Trace this guy on there as accurately as you can, cut it out, and then glue all your sides together. Now you should have a foam version of your duct tape hat. 

(Dont worry if the sides wont stay down, if you’re doing a character like Ty where thats an issue, we’ll get to that part later. ) 

7) (Optional but VERY helpful) Grab your wig head, and your duct tape head. Tape the duct tape back together and put something in it to make it hold shape, I use poly-fil. Tape the head-form to the wig head, and put your little foam cap on top of that. 

8)  Time to get creative. You’re gonna want to start from the bottom layers first. For Tyreen that’s the long fringe and her undercut. The strategy I decided on was to take a few large rectangular strips of foam, and lay them out everywhere I wanted the undercut to be and cut along the edges to match the hairline. I don’t have a picture of this exact point in the process but I have one from the beginning of the next step. Really the only thing to note at this point is obviously, your head is round and rectangles are not, for the curves where it sticks up along the edges, cut down where it sticks up in a little triangle and hot glue the ends together (you can sort of see this at the top left in the picture below). Dont worry about seams at this point, we’ll hide them later. 

9) This was not the case for Fiona who has very flat hair ( especially because of her hat) but Tyreen has a lot of volume especially towards the front of her head. For hair pieces that need volume, such as the ones that are glued down here, cut two of the exact same foam piece (i like to do them in little waves like the side, but also just a little arch is good for volume without flips such as the front piece) and glue the matching edges together. Make sure the hair triangle is facing the way youd like it to! Then Flatten out the top as much as you can, the bottom will keep the volume and the top ill be able to be covered by “2D” hair pieces. 

(NOTE: Honestly, it’s REALLY difficult to end up with an exact copy of cannon, and I ALLLLWAYS get carried away with the spikes. In the end, go by your reference images, but also follow your heart. Cosplay is half about having fun creating. )

10) Once youve started gluing, make sure to keep in mind where your part is (if you have one). For Fiona i didn’t trust myself so I glued in the hair at the part BEFORE anything, and left them ready to be glued down while I worked my way up to them. 

NOTE: All the hair at the parts of BOTH wigs is a single piece of foam.You want a nice wide base whenever possible to cover up the seams of all of the other edges of the hair. For your part, Carefully glue along the very end of your strip of foam and stick it down. It will be the last piece to be glueddown on top of everything else to make it look nice and clean. 

11) Slowly start working your way around the head, gluing down first anything that will need to be covered (3D pieces and bottom pieces) before getting towards the top where youll need to be more strategic about what is going down and what can cover your edges. I’d definitely recommend mixing 2D and 3D pieces if that’s something you want to experiment with, otherwise, such as in the pic below, it is possible to get volume from a 2D piece, simply by gluing it in a way where it wont lie flat against the head. 

12) in the picture above you can also catch a glimpse of Ty’s cow lick. Those are done exactly the same as our 3D pieces from before, only you trace the edges of the open end, and should end up with a triangular third side to be glued in, then just glue along the edges just like the hair part. 

13) Dont feel you have to overdo how many pieces the hair has, remember you may also paint in pieces and designs when it comes to the line-art! 

14) Once you’ve added everything from the bottom that you’d like to, go ahead and glue down your hair-part. 

15) So, obviously, I wasn’t a big fan of Tyreen’s undercut just being flat foam across half my head. So I took an exacto to it for what felt like years. REALLY over-do it on the edges, it’ll get rid of that harsh foam line and give it a little more of a natural blend. Also pay special attention to all of your seams in the foam. The more distressing there is there, the less youll be able to spot lines later. 

16) So once you have the overall structure of your wig and you’re thinking you might be happy with this, its spray paint time. (I’d recommend disposable gloves for this, you’re gonna need to maneuver it every which way to get the pain in every cranny and that paint does NOT like to come off easy.)  Theres really not much advice I can offer on it, just be patient, and do a couple layers, spray it from every angle and let it dry completely before moving on to the next step unless youre as impatient as I am and dont mind ruining a few paintbrushes. 

17) So, like the Fiona pic a few back or this one here, you should have a fairly flat evenly painted foam sculpture. Now is around the time you might start seeing all the inaccuracies in what you’ve made. You gotta push past that it’ll look great I promise. Time to get really creative. 

18) for Ty I started by painting the buzzed bits in a base brown, and started in on the line art and her roots while i waited for it to dry before going in with two more colors of brown for depth. 

19) For her roots I ended up using three colors. Black at the very bottom (which blends into the line art) a dark brown that matches more or less the buzz, and then after the fact, a custom yellowed-brown to blend better into the white and give us a little more texture. For this and the rest of the cel-shading in the hair, dab your brush before painting and try to mostly stick to light strokes in one direction (OR: if you have one, a particularly hard bristled paint brush does wonders for this) you don’t want the ends of your strokes to be too defined. 

20) Outline the edges of the hair and all prominent pieces, particularly the hot-glue seams, itll make them less noticable. (dont forget the little animation squiggles for Ty’s sides) and beyond that-- honestly, black out to your hearts content. These pics are from when I thought I’d finished. I really felt I’d over detailed. The next day I looked at a picture and realized there is always WAY more texture and outlining than I feel like I see. Honestly, you cant really over-do it, especially with fine solid black lines. 

21) The next day I came back at it with the yellowed-brown and LOTS more solid black lines. (Currently in the process of taming down where I got too excessive with the spikes on the side) 

22) Once it’s all dried, time to try on. Here’s where we address if you have a short haired character, and the edges of your wig just wont stay down -- invest in a little theatrical grade spirit gum. It’s not too terribly expensive, and unfortunately, I tried the cheaper halloween makeup kind, and it just wont hold how you need it too (and please for my sake, also make sure you get spirit gum remover) I took some hair gel (you could also use elmers glue) just to glue up as much of my hair as I could on the sides and the back of my neck to keep them from the spirit gum, and dabbed it along all of the prominent edges of the wig (namely, side and back) wait for it to get a little tacky and stick that MF-er down good. 

Aaaaand Voila??? 

Let me know if I missed any steps? Its fairly simple, once you get going -- just time consuming. 

#borderlands cosplay #borderlands #bl3 #tyreen calypso #cosplay tutorial #borderlands 3 #my cosplays

[therainroguefanfiction]

🎃 Frightful October Act VIII, #23 ~ Murdered (Hildegarde)

📑 Table of Contents

Genre: Angst, Dark

Word Count: 1,292

Pairing: Reader x Hilda

World: Beelzebub

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

Fear filled you as your back hit the wall, the cold stone seeping through your shirt. Footsteps echoed through the empty streets, followed by the sound of maniacal laughter. Your body tensed, flattening itself against the hall. You could see his shadow appearing as he got closer to the alleyway.

‘Please… don’t let him see me…’

The man’s head shot around the corner, red eyes open wide as his grin threatened to split his face in half. “I found you, poppet~”

Your eyes widened in terror, your scream ripping through the neighborhood.

7 Hours Earlier

“Oh my goodness.”

You looked up from the murder mystery you were reading. Oga’s mom was standing behind the couch, a spatula in one hand and the TV remote in the other. She turned the volume up, the sound of a news report filling the living room.

“This is the fourth confirmed victim of the serial killer police have dubbed ‘Scythe’. On October first, the Ishiyama police department received an anonymous call. The man claimed that five people born under the sign of Scorpio would be sacrificed during the month of October. Police are urging all residents to remain in their homes this Halloween. A seven-thirty curfew has been put in effect, and anyone caught outside after this time will be taken in for questioning.”

She turned the TV off with a worried look. “How terrifying!”

You closed your book and stood up, glancing at the clock. “I guess I should get home.”

“Wait, you can stay here tonight!”

“I appreciate the offer, Mrs. Oga, but my parents… they wouldn’t be too happy about that.” The truth was that your parents despised Oga with a passion and tried to keep you away from him, but the two of you had grown up together, so of course, you ended up being close. They realized that they couldn’t stop you from seeing him, but if they found out you stayed the night at his house, they’d blow a fuse.

She frowned. “Well, okay… let me go get Tatsumi. He can walk you home, at least!”

“No, no, it’s okay, really! I know he and Hilda are trying to get Baby Beel settled…” you offered her a reassuring smile. “I only live down the street, so don’t worry!”

“Y/N…”

“I promise I’ll be okay,”

She sighed deeply, pulling me into a tight hug. “Kids these days, so stubborn. You better go straight home, understand? And give me a call when you get there so I know you’re safe.”

“I will~ See ya tomorrow, Mrs. Oga,” you gave her a warm smile before stepping out of the house. The sun was hanging low on the horizon, orange peeking through grey clouds. The smell of rain wafted on the cool breeze and you knew it wouldn’t be long before the rain started in.

Sure enough, the second you reached your front door, the sky opened up.

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

You finished reading chapter twelve of your murder mystery, stifling a yawn. It was getting late and you were starting to get tired, so you decided to get up and change into your pajamas. Before you could, though, your dad called out your name. With another yawn, you headed into the living room.

Your dad was sprawled out on the couch, face flushed from the alcohol he had consumed. His face perked up when he saw you. “Y/N~ There you are! Papa is out of beer can you run to the mart and get me some?”

You sweatdropped. “It’s eleven o’clock, dad. There’s a curfew in effect -”

“Pft,” he waved his hand, dismissing the thought. “They never enforce curfews. It’s just a couple of blocks, I believe in you!”

‘I don’t think believing in your kid successfully breaking the law is the best thing to do, dad…’

He pouted, his brown eyes watering. “Don’t you love your papa, Y/N?”

You smiled, softly. “Of course I do. I’ll be right back, okay?” You knew it was a stupid idea to give in, especially after the news report you had seen earlier that day but your dad works his butt off to provide for you and your mom, and he only ever drinks once a week. He deserved to relax and unwind.

It was still raining outside, a light sprinkling upon the earth. It hit your clear umbrella with a soft pitter-patter as you walked. The neighborhood was dead silent, a stark contrast to the typical loud and rambunctious nature of the town in which you lived. A shiver went down your spine.

‘I guess everyone is pretty spooked about the serial killer… I should hurry.’

It was very faint, but you could hear a set of footsteps trying to match your own. You acted like you were looking up at the full moon, glancing behind you out of the corner of your eye. You were being followed, but that isn’t what struck you with fear – it was the crazed look on his face.

Your body moved before your brain had time to process the situation, running as fast your legs would allow. ‘Of all the times to forget my phone, Y/N you idiot!’

“You can run~ but you can’t hide~” He laughed loudly. Even though he was at least a block behind you, his voice was as clear as if he were standing right beside you. “I can smell you, poppet.”

Your sneakers pounded the wet cement, slipping and sliding, but you managed to stay upright. The umbrella slipped from your hand, but you didn’t try to grab it. You could feel your clothes getting heavier as they absorbed the moisture. It felt like you had been running for hours, but you were too scared to stop, too scared to look and see if he was still behind you.

Your energy was fading, a stitch in your side. Your body wasn’t used to running so frantically. His laugh echoed from behind you and you panicked, ducking down the alley, only for your eyes to widen. ‘No, it’s a dead-end!’

You knew that you were royally screwed.

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

He slowly rounded the corner, twirling a knife in his bandaged hand. “You will be my final sacrifice to lord Scorpios. When you draw your last breath, the ritual will be complete!” He threw his head back, arms held out beside him as he continued toward you. “With this final act, he will finally notice me! He will praise my loyalty, my dedication!”

You didn’t have time to react as he lunged at you, stabbing you in the stomach. One, twice, a total of five times. Pain consumed your body and your knees gave out beneath you, tears sliding down your cheeks. Blood pooled under your body and the man moaned, bringing the blade up so he could lick it.

“Y/N!”

In the blink of an eye, the man’s man was sliced clean in half, blood spurting across the alley. Hilda landed beside you, turning you over onto your back, eyes scanning your torso. Tears filled her green eyes as she cupped your face. “You will be okay… you mustn’t die! You can’t!”

“Hil… da…” your body felt heavy, eyes drooping against your will, but you mustered up the last of your strength to raise your hand to her cheek. “Take care of… Tatsu for me…”

“No! I… I refuse!” she cried, placing her gloved hand over your own. It felt so warm against your cold skin. “You can take care of him yourself when you’re all healed up! Please…”

You smiled weakly. “I’ve always… loved you, Hilda… so much…”

“Y/N!” she cried, feeling her heart shatter as your hand went limp, your eyes sliding closed. Your heart stopped just as the clock struck twelve. Her pained cries filled the night air.

───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────

#frightful october #halloween #beelzebub #beelzebub imagines #hilda #hildegarde #hilde #anime #writing #creative writing #writeblr #scenario #scenarios #anime scenarios #anime scenario #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfics #anime fanfic #anime fanfics #reader insert #reader-insert #reader #one shot #dark #angst #frightful october 19

[zodiac-monkey]

episode 12 reactions!!

- the girls pouring out their info to yuki after he does the nice thing and tries to help LMAO their intensity...

- akito pulling up in the car!! love the foreshadowing and callback to the chilling shot of akito whipping past in the car and catching tohru’s eye in ep 7

- “he’s getting worse and worse at saying no to her” LOL

- tohru’s expression going totally blank as soon as kyo says it’s ok for her to space out around him is precious agkvl

- “if you got kidnapped while you were this spaced out, it’d be your fault” oof tho the scene would be cuter to me without this line, the implication here didn’t age well :/

- the outfit suits momiji perfectly!!! he even got a little sailor hat to go with it omg it matches exactly!! ;;w;; you picked such a good outfit momiji you have the cutest clothes in school!!

- i actually somehow had the impression all these years that he came to school in a skirt akghl but i guess it was shorts all along, i guess it was like that in the first anime too hjkvl my memory on this must be weak.. not that it should make a difference but this now makes it seem even more strict/pedantic that the pres is so shocked just by a sailor shirt lmao...

- HARU JUST INSTANTLY T-POSING ON SIGHTING YUKI and then he just goes over without anyone commenting or drawing attention to it hjkvhs this little background character detail is incredible

- pres yelling that he’s just being logical is hilarious to me bc it reminds me of conversations ive had LMAO some people just won’t listen....

- yuki in his imagination acts so ooc it’s jarring hkvhjsl ...someone is gonna say to me “you imagine yuki like this too don’t you” no shut up

- the uniform is more fitting than the pink dress tho im just gonna say

- oof was haru’s reply to tohru’s question about how he proved his hair color always this suggestive/aggressive? i remembered him being like “do you want to see too” but the subs go as far as “do you want to do it, even without hugging we can--” like how did you jump to that oTL.. tohrus going to be even more confused (edit: ok apparently it was always like this but i don’t have an official translation of this volume so i thought it was different lmao)

- OH THE AKITO SCENES OH HERE WE GO. oh they are hitting it SO SPOT-ON with every emotional flashback and foreshadowing i am SHAKING??? every one of yuki’s expressions, even the very slight startle and widening of his eyes at hearing momiji’s news conveys such a raw fear and realization...

- the frosty white petals fluttering down over the darkened flashback to yuki cowering in that room is such a beautiful and haunting aesthetic touch omG i love it???

- the way yuki slams his hand against the glass when he sees akito talking to tohru in the courtyard and his eyes have such a visceral shock and terror in them as he instinctively rushes off--you feel that he is acting on what he knows and has experienced and despite his own fear will fight at all cost to prevent that from happening to someone he loves, you can feel his sense of urgency like losing even a second could be too late---

- the sheer terror and anxiety overtaking his face as akito presses a thumb into his cheek, oh baby no, you are okay you are safe doN’T TOUCH HIM

- his eyes going blank and hollow while akito is hinting at recreating his trauma, oh jeez oh no stop you can tell he is just shutting down because the pain and dread of remembering that life is too overwhelming to bear sTOP

- baby yuki’s trembling, shaking glassy eyes wide in terror while the black paintbrush sprays ink around the room oh no no no baby someone hold him and tell him he’s safe ;;^;;

- and the terror in his eyes in the present, the shadow over his face he’s shaking and sweating and freezing and blanking out and shutting down no no no no they can’t hurt you now. you are safe now, it is okay you will be okay

- TOHRUUUUUUUUU!!!! TOHRU IS A HERO YAY!!!!!!!! \;;A;;/ she is so brave she jumped right in and put a stop to all that scary music!!! \>A</

- she could sense that something was wrong and recognized that yuki was scared and diffused all of that fear just by being there with her warm presence ;A; she is a hero T__T

- KYO’S ABSOLUTELY INTENSE FERAL WILDCAT GLARE WOW???? that look is something else omg i absolutely love how they captured the visceral seething anger and loathing he directs at akito from the overlooking window wow--you can feel the heat of his RIGHTEOUS ANGER blazing down as akito just shrugs it off and walks on..!!!!

- tohru realizing that yuki needs to be reminded that there are good and caring people around him, suggesting they play a game to take his mind off the fear bless her heart;;; ;;---;;

- baby yuki begging for help with the dim blue lighting seeming so ominous and desperate aaa;;;; i absolutely love the mood they’re getting in these scenes cRIES;;;; ;;A;;

- “they really exist. THEY’RE REAL” iM CRYING yuki being so happy to see living proof that there really are warm people in the world grabs and BREAKS my heart;; ;;A;; it always tears me up that he didn’t know for so long that love and support were things he could have, that were even possible.. my heart soars for him like the badminton thingy flying into the sky... i want him to keep seeing more and more of how warm and caring people can be ;___;

- tohru looks very cute in the ribbon!! ;;w;;

#fruits basket #episode 12 #reactions #fruits basket spoilers #paraphrasing btw bc it's quite late and i didnt look up the direct quotes orz;;

[calumsbabylonbabe]

The Day We Began

Summary: You and Luke go out for an anniversary dinner and Luke’s ex-girlfriend is coincidentally there too.

Warning: Cursing, yelling, angst

His piercing blue eyes take several glances towards me, but never fully look at me, as he has his head and face pointed looking out the windshield.

We haven’t left the parking lot of the restaurant yet, we’ve been sitting here for what feels like an hour, but in reality it’s been 7 minutes, and counting.

He holds a cold stare, and I the same. I stare down at my lap, replaying the events that happened just a few moments ago.

He shifts in his seat, and I’m about t break the dreadful silence, when he finally starts the car, and begins to pull out of the lot.

We left the restaurant in a frenzy, and you would think it would be to frantically rid each other’s clothes and spend our anniversary in bed, but instead, it’s out of anger and spite.

It’s not my fault his ex-girlfriend happened to be at the same restaurant as us.

“Lukey?”

“Oh my god, Maddy?”

My attention averts from something Luke has just finished saying, to see a girl walk towards Luke and I.

Immediately, Luke stands up to hug her, leaving me a bit confused, and I sit and stare at the both of them hug.

“Maddy, what are you doing in town?” Luke asks, a smile is etched onto his face.

“ Perhaps she’s an old friend,” I think as I watch them converse, still awaiting introductions.

“I have a shoot here in town, and I couldn’t miss up the chance to come to my favorite restaurant,” she replies, smiling brightly up at Luke.

“Your favorite? Last time I checked, you hated this place,” Luke scoffs, jokingly.

“Yeah, but when I have a chance to run into you again, it becomes my favorite place,” she adds as she places her hand on his shoulder.

An alarm quickly plays into my head as I clear my throat to make myself univisible again.

“Oh, right! Maddy, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is Maddy,” Luke finally introduces. Maddy eyes me suspiciously and narrows her eyes at the word,”girlfriend,” but I know better than to get offended by such subtle gestures.

I stand and I’m about to shake her hand when she turns her attentions back to Luke, brushing off my existence.

At this point, I don’t think I exist in either Luke or Maddy’s mind, and it’s starting to draw and itch to my skin.

“Are you waiting on someone?” Luke asks, as he begins to take a seat across the table from me.

I’m hoping this means their conversation is almost over and we can get on with our date.

“No, I actually got stood up, honestly.”

I’m hoping that this is the point where she leaves and goes home because she got stood up, but Luke has different plans.

“Join us!”

I just about give myself whip lash as I turn to look back at him, smiling up at Maddy.

The entire dinner ended up being what seemed like a date between him and Maddy.

Maddy was completely flirtatious and Luke seemed to flirt with her right back.

I sat next to Luke, internally eyerolling and screaming, but it wasn’t until Maddy said something that tipped me over the edge.

“Remember when we dated Luke? Those were such good times. I think fate wants us back, considering he made us run in into each other tonight,” she giggled, and she sipped her drink.

“Excuse, I think fate royally must have fucked up, because his present girlfriend, is sitting right across from you.”

“Y/N! Don’t be so rude, she was just joking. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. Jesus Christ, excuse her.” Luke defended Maddy, leaving me steaming with anger.

I kept my mouth shut the rest of dinner. I had nothing nice to say, and I really did not feel like arguing with Luke and his ex-serpent.

This brings me to sitting in Luke’s passenger seat, both of us knowing an argument is going to happen, but wondering who will break first.

I unlock my phone and begin to text Calum, warning him that Luke will probably be on his couch tonight, because I am just that angry.

“Why are you texting Calum?” Luke’s voice is rough, as he continuously glances at me.

I choose to ignore his question, and lock my phone again, staring straight at our driveway.

Luke huffs in annoyance and rolls his eyes, knowing that I’m giving him the silente treatment.

He pulls into the driveway, and before he can open the garage, I open the car door and make my way into our shared home.

“What the fuck, Y/N!” Luke yells, and he rolls down the window, pulling the car into the garage.

I don’t pay attention, as as soon as I get inside the house, I drop my purse on the and make my way to the kitchen to fix myself a drink.

I hear the garage door close and our door from the garage into our house open and clothes, followed by heavy footsteps.

“You really couldn’t stand sitting with me for a few minutes longer that you felt the need to literally jump out of the car?” Luke raises his voice and my questions from earlier is answered. We’re arguing tonight.

I sip my wine in silence, still continuing to ignore him, just to see how under his skin I can get.

“The silent treatment? Real mature Y/N!”

My head lifts from my glass of dark wine to to see him standing on the opposite side of the island in the kitchen. His eyes are a darker shade of blue and I can tell he’s angry, as his shoulders are tensed and he’s run his hands through his hair several times.

“You want to talk about mature? How mature do you think were, when you were flirting with your little friend, and inviting her to dinner with us, on our one year anniversary?”

“Oh my fucking god, Y/N! She got stood up, and I felt bad for her. We were not fucking flirting with each other!”

“Yes you were! It was so fucking obvious!” My voice is heavy and angry, and I decide that I am not in the mood to fight, so I leave my glass in the kitchen and begin to walk away.

“Now you’re walking away? Wow, you’re really on a roll for lack of maturity tonight, Y/N,” Luke scoffs as he follows me out.

“You know who might be a lot more mature? Maddy. You can probably still catch her, chances are she’s probably in our room, because being there would give her another opportunity to see you again!”

“Y/N, for the last fucking time, I was not flirting with her. We were just messing around! You see the one who decided to be a bitch and go all overprotective girlfriend on me!”

It’s the first time Luke has ever used such an intense word in such an angry tone to describe me. Needless to say, it surprises me.

“Over protective girlfriend? Oh yes, God forbid I let some fucking ex-groupie flirt with my boyfriend, on our fucking anniversary!”

“She’s not just some fucking groupie. She’s the only girl who I’ve ever had anything serious with, but like you would ever understand that,” Luke scoffs, shaking his head.

“The only girl you’ve ever had anything serious with? So, what am I? Just some fucking girl you’ve been sleeping with for the past year?” My voice is no longer angry, and it’s volume has been lowered by ninety percent.

Luke’s eyes widen at realization of what he just said, knowing he’s hit a nerve. Luke knows I’ve had trouble with serious relationships in the past, none of the problems being my fault.

I can feel tears begin to well in my eyes as I begin to quickly make my way upstairs.

“Y/N, baby, you know that’s not what I meant,” Luke follows upstairs, quickly trying to catch up to me.

Just as I reach the top of the stairs, Luke catches my wrist, turning me around on the staircase.

“So, what did you mean Luke?” My sadness has shifted into anger again, as he uses such a cliché line to justify his words.

“I-,” Luke stands there, starstruck that I’m angry again, but speechless

“Well that’s just fucking fantastic. Fuck all the ‘I love you’s you said to me, right?” I start, my voice has began to crack now and the ears are back, because the fact that Luke really meant that I was not a serious relationship, hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced, emotionally.

Luke and I have been dating for a year, today being our anniversary. We met at a café and it was one of the cheesiest moments, but it was our moment.

Within a year of us dating, I have grown to love him so much and to think that what we have is real and he doesn’t feel the same, hurts like a motherfucker.

I start towards the bedroom, leaving Luke on the staircase, not wanting to stare at him any longer.

He follows suit, still trying to justify his means.

“Baby, I really didn’t mean it that way-“

I stop him by shutting the bedroom door and locking it behind me.

“Y/N?,” Luke knocks several times, as tears cloud my vision and I slide down the door, leaning my head against it.

“Go away, Luke.”

“No, Y/N. We have to talk about this.”

“Please just, go.” My voice is cracking and I mutter the words , I can hear him stop pacing in front of the door.

Luke utters something under his breath and sniffles. As I’m about to add something else, I hear his footsteps walk away from the door, and down the stairs.

I figure he’s going downstairs into the living room to sleep the night off, until I hear the back door shut and the garage door open.

My heart aches as hear his car race down the street.

The universe has a sick sense of humor, to know that we end, the same day we began.

Thank you for reading my late night angst! Will probably be a part 2 to this! Possibly 3! Let me know what you think! <3

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #5sos angst #angst #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer imagine #5sos smut

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Truth Pt. 9

Truth Master List

Request:

What’s up sug! sorry you’re struggling right now but I’ve come to help you If you could bring this to light for me I’d absolutely love for YOU TO DO JT So basically Bucky X Enhanced reader who are fuckin enemies. Hate each other to every last fiber of their beings bc Bucky is rude and she calls him out on it. AnywHs, they get drunk, truth or dare (go crZy baby) and LOTS LF dirty talk if u wanna do smut but if u don’t then buck taking care of her while she’s drunk cause she admitted her feelings

Pairing: Bucky X Reader (Enhanced)

Summary: Since The Avengers gave you a home the only blight has been Bucky Barnes, a ghost from your past that you can’t seem to shake. It makes you hate him. The feeling, it seems, is mutual. But… a simple game reveals that maybe things aren’t quite so simple. (Post Winter Soldier AU)

Warnings: NOTHING BUT FEELS FLUFFY FEELS

A/N: Like the warning says. We are cozy and soft with these two this week. Hope you’re enjoying it. 

Tags are open!

@midnightdream83 @mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415  @peachthatdrinkslemonade @wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @handplucked  @buckysstar @sam-jae @marauder–harder @for-the-love-of-the-fandom   @meg-asaur @jewelofwinter @fairislesheets @animegirlgeeky @lydklein1 @katecolleen @siriuslycloudy2 @zannemes @catvader1o1

The sun is setting when your eyes open. Bucky lies on his stomach next to you, breathing steadily. You don’t want to wake him but you can’t help yourself. Gently you trace the arch of one of his dark brows.

Thankfully he doesn’t wake. For a few minutes you just kind of stare at him in awe, a feeling of warmth growing in your belly. You can’t quite name it, this certain breed of peace and comfort but… you like it.

Suddenly, you’re pulled from your gawking when you realize you just how thirsty you are. Slowly, you slide out of the bed. Slipping back into the boxers and hoodie, you sneak out of the room.

You down a bottle of water in about 30 seconds and crack open another, sipping it slowly. Looking around the kitchen you note the little pieces of personalization scattered around. A pithy dishtowel on the oven, the mismatched collection of dishes in the cabinets, some silly magnets on the fridge. It’s endearing and makes your place look stoic and sterile by comparison.  

To the left of the kitchen is a little office and you wander in. A plush rug covers the stained concrete floor. The wall across from the door is pure windows with a view of the city. Reds and oranges blaze brightly over Manhattan and while there’s a similar view from your own place, it’s still breathtaking. A desk sits up against the window with one of those big comfy desk chairs pushed up to it with a blanket draped over the back. This place oozes warmth and comfort. Very Bucky.  

The wall to the right is stuffed floor to ceiling with books. Damn near every best seller in the last century is here along with poetry, history, prose, fiction, and non. Some look new, some well worn and you wonder if he got them used. There’s even a scented candle tucked into one shelf. Leather and tobacco, it actually smells incredible.

Across from the bookcase the wall is covered in photos. After a second you realize… these are his photos. A slightly younger version of Bucky smiles that stunning smile with his arm draped across the shoulders of a smaller boy… of… Steve. You stare for a minute trying to find your 6’ 2” friend in the features of this slight person. He’s there, in the thoughtful eyes and crooked smile.

Your eyes wander to the left. Bucky stands with three young girls, all in Sunday best attire, smiling posed smiles. They have the same thick dark hair and you wonder if they’re related. A woman with a vibrant smile, so much like his, standing in a kitchen. Your lips pull up at a photo of Bucky with three men, all in some kind of military garb, cigarettes in their mouths smiling; WWII you suspect.

A little farther down your heart constricts. Bucky, in full Service Uniform, posed for his photo, smiling. He looks so much like the man sleeping in the other room and yet… different. That’s when you notice the shadow box filled with damn near every military honor that can be granted to a fallen soldier and the flag. It’s folded in that recognizable triangle, the little plaque with his name, James Buchanan Barnes, rank, date of birth and… death.

“Steve thinks it’s morbid to keep it,” his voice cuts through the silence like a knife and you jump, a touch of power pulsing under your skin.

“Jesus,” you gasp laughing a little.

“Sorry,” he’s holding up his hands, a little grin playing at the edges of his lips.

“No,” you shake your head, “I’m sorry, I kind of invaded your space.” Bucky takes a few steps forward hands resting on your hips pulling you to him. His expression is soft, still sleepy.

“You’re not invading,” his eyes search yours, “I’ve got nothing to hide from you.”

His words nearly suck the breath from your lungs. For two people who lived a normal life this likely would have been a passing thing but for two who had spent decades of their lives in the clutches of Hydra… these words speak volumes.

Your right-hand curls around the back of his neck and you pull him to you. The kiss is soft, not hungry or desperate. When you break away he buries his nose in your hair for a second before taking a deep breath.

“Did you get enough sleep?”

He snorts a little laugh, pulling away a touch, “Never.” Metal fingers caress the side of your face, “I noticed you were gone, just wanted to make sure you were ok.” Worry flashes in his eyes and you melt a little.

“I’m great,” you hold up the water bottle still in your left hand, “just parched.”

Turning back to the wall leaning into him you can’t help but wonder, “How did you get all these?”

His arms wrap tight around your torso, pressing you flat against him, “After Steve and I… well… died so to speak, our personal effects went to my family. Steve didn’t have anyone left.” You can relate.

“My youngest sister,” he points to the picture of him with the girls, “Jo. She has a son who’s still alive, Eric. He inherited it all and when they found Steve, S.H.I.E.L.D. contacted him.”

Your eyes scan the wall, taking in all these pieces of him. A past and a family you’ll never know or really understand. “You still have family…”

“In a way, yeah.” His right fingers tangle with your own, “It’s… strange.”

“But, Bucky,” you turn to face him, “that’s amazing. I mean… I’d be happy to still have…” Anyone, but you don’t say it.

His eyes study the photos behind you, his mouth a hard line, “It doesn’t feel like mine.” When his eyes meet yours, they’re stormy, “Not anymore.” He takes a shaky breath, “But I feel lucky that they kept this stuff for me and Steve’s sake. Eric even gave me some albums.”

He pulls away and walks to the book case. One by one he takes four old photo albums from the bottom shelf and sets them on the desk. They’re all clearly from different eras.

“This is one my Ma,” his voice cracks as he opens the oldest one. You set your bottle down and wrap an arm around his waist.

“You don’t have to show me,” your eyes look up at him, cheek pressed to his left shoulder.

“I want to,” his smile is melancholy but there’s light in his eyes when he looks at you.

Clearing his throat he flips to the first page, “My Ma had one of these for each of us kids. She kept everything.” There’s clippings, notes, drawings, a few photos. Some things are carefully paced while others are held in with rusted paperclips. You notice it’s not just Bucky here but Steve too.

“Your mom must’ve liked Steve,” you laugh.

“Like he was her own,” Bucky nods pointing to a photo of her beaming with Steve in Captain America garb. You reach out and flip closer to the front. A gangly boy with shaggy dark hair and a megawatt smile holds a woman’s hand. It’s adorable.

“Is this you?”

“Mhm,” he plucks it from the worn corner pieces that hold it to the page. “James, 1924, so I was about 7 here.”

“May I?” You reach for it and he hands you the old square photo. He’s there in that smile, the way the nose scrunches. “You were so cute, James,” playfully you pinch his cheek.

Bucky pulls back laughing, “Oh god, please don’t call me James,” he groans snatching the picture from you.

“Who started calling you, Bucky?”

He shrugs, “My parents always called me, Bucky.”

You look back to the wall, to the photo of the woman in the kitchen, “So, is this your mom?”

“Yeah, in ’55 I think.” So after she lost him.

“You look like her.”

The look on his face is so tender, “Really? I think I look like my Pa actually.” He flips through the album and points to a picture of a teenaged him and a hard looking man. The man’s beard is full, tiny tufts of grey by the chin like Bucky’s. Other than that though you don’t see it.

“Nah,” you look up at him, touching the soft laugh lines by his eyes. “You’ve got a face for smiling, like hers.”

[Bucky]

There’s no way for you to know what those words mean to him. He can’t say he agrees. His Ma was the kindest person he ever knew… He can’t see that in himself. It’s a nice sentiment though.

“I sit in here a lot… looking at everything.” He sighs heavily, “Still trying to get it all… all of me, back.”

It had only been a little over a year. The team’s medical staff was shocked at what he managed to recover given the time he had been with Hydra. He felt like most of it was back but there were still little things he’d suddenly remember, or a story Steve would tell him and he’d realize that there were still parts of him missing.

Your brows knit, “Yeah, I get that…” You turn back to the wall of his memories. He sees the tension in your shoulders, the way you try to stand straighter, hold you head higher, anything to steel yourself against whatever it is you’re feeling.

Worry settles like a stone in his gut. He doesn’t know much about your past before Hydra. All he really knew when they were about to go after you was that you, like him, hadn’t been a willing participant and that according to Fury your father was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. He reaches out and gently takes your left hand in his right, he can feel a slight tremor passing through you. Your eyes lock onto his and he smiles.

“Who’re these guys,” you point to the picture of him with the Howlers.

“The Howling Commandos,” a touch of sadness squeezes his heart. “Mine and Steve’s unit in the war.”

“Tell me about them.”

A little laugh trips over his lips and he looks at you questioningly. “You really want to hear war stories from an old man?”

The smile you give him takes his breath away, “I really do.”

-

A few hours later the two of you have built a nest in the small office. Couch cushions, pillows, every blanket in the place all culminating into a soft warm pile up against the wall. It’s not that the apartment is overly large but there’s something about being in this small space that seems to comfort both of you.

There’s a stack of pizza boxes, you’ve both torn through two large pies already with little signs of slowing down. Photos and other bits of memorabilia are scattered all around like pieces of a puzzle. Bucky brought his record player in along with his boxes of records.

He’s surprised how much he’s enjoyed talking about his past. Telling you these stories is different than reminiscing with Steve or the forced shared moments with his therapist. He want’s to give you these parts of him. You can’t help but be endlessly amused about stories of Steve before the serum, when he was just a scrappy punk with more bark than bite. And the picture he paints of Brooklyn and New York in the early 19th century fascinate you.

Glen Miller is playing right now, the sound of the brass sending him back almost a century. He loved to dance to this music once. You’re nibbling a slice kneeling in front of one of the boxes of records. You bob along to the music as you flip through to select the next one. A small noise comes from you as your hand freezes over a battered orange album cover.

“Sinatra got big after my time but damn if he doesn’t have a great set of pipes.” You don’t respond, just stare. Faint tendrils of light swirl under your skin, the air in the room getting a touch cooler.

“Doll?” He leans over resting his right hand gently on your shoulder. Your mouth is open just a touch and tears glitter in your eyes. “Hey,” he plucks the slice from your hand, laying it inside the open box.

You snap back shaking your head, “Sorry. I, uh…” You slide Sinatra’s Songs For Swingin’ Lovers out of the box, holding it in both trembling hands. “This… this was my Dad’s favorite. Well one of them. He loved Sinatra…” A tear slides down your cheek, Bucky brushes it away. “I… I would groan every time he put it on but… secretly I loved it too.” A few more tears sneak out but you briskly wipe them away sniffing hard.

“Let’s put it on,” he says softly. You bite your bottom lip hard, not making eye contact and nod. He takes the record from you and stands up walking the short distance to the desk to change the record.

The first song, You Make Me Feel So Young, seems strangely poignant. You were younger than him, hell he was old enough to be your father. But neither of you looked close to your true age. You looked it, sure. Inside though… As Frank croons the first line he turns to you, your chin resting on your knees, staring out into space.

Bucky heads back to your nest. He sits with his back against the wall, holding his arms open, “Come here.” You look back and crawl over, settling between his legs, pulling a blanket from the pile wrapping the two of you in warmth. The feeling of you pressed against him, in his arms, is damn near too good.

After a few songs, you lean your head back onto his left shoulder, looking up at him, “Do you like to dance?”

“I used to,” his eyes wander to where your hands connect, “I loved dancing.” Suddenly you’re up and out of his arms.

“Dance with me,” you’re holding out a hand smiling bright.

“Seriously?” He looks around the crowded space, “In here?”

“Yeah,” you move by the door, “there’s enough room. Come on.” You wave him over. Laughing he shakes his head and follows your orders.

You take his hands, “Wait, not this one.” The opening notes of I’ve Got You Under My Skin start. “Now.” Effortlessly you two fall into a tight foxtrot, giggling as you bump into things or stumble over the steps a bit.

Near the end, Bucky spins you, unintentionally, straight toward the blanket nest. You lose your footing and both of you tumble down, laughing.

“Color me surprised,” he leans up on his left elbow looking down at you, laying on your back giggling.

“Why’s that?”

“I didn’t expect you to know that dance.”

“I will have you know I am an excellent dancer,” you laugh mirroring his position.

“Yeah falling down demonstrated that perfectly,” he teases.

“Hey!” You toss a small pillow at his face, “I wouldn’t have fallen if my partner didn’t spin me toward disaster.” He laughs.

You shake your head, “I swear I can almost hear my Mom scolding my form,” your accent turns softly germanic, “‘Well liebling if you were paying attention to your feet…’”

“Was your Mom German?”

“Austrian,” you sigh and fall to your back, “and I was going to be her perfect little All American Girl. Dancing, sports, music, academics, I had to be the best. Always.” You turn your head to him, “So, any dance you throw my way. I guarantee I can kill it.”

“Maybe I’ll put that to the test.” He does like the idea of dancing, dancing like he used to, with you.

You spend the rest of the evening listening to music. He tells you more stories from his life, even remembering details he had forgotten. Eventually, you drift off in his arms, snuggled in the little blanket nest.

For a moment he thinks of carrying you to the bed but it’s comfortable and warm here. He feels… safe he realizes. Happy even. Instead, he buries his nose in your hair and follows you into sleep.

#bucky x reader #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff

[dolanswhore]

Fluff Alphabet w/ Ethan Dolan

Attractive: (your most attractive feature to him and vise )

Ethan's favorite feature would be your laugh, the sound was almost heavenly, and he always tries his hardest to so exactly that, make you laugh no matter the cost.

His arms. Due to working out more recently, Ethan has noticed the swelling in them, and will always watch them flex when it comes to holding you and sexing you

Baby: (Does he want kids?)

Ethan is all about family, the most important people in his life will always be his family and you. He considers you family right away, when ever 'my family' is said hes including you without a doubt.

Ethan had always voiced hes wants children, but not specifically with you, but the one time he couldn't help but let , "let's name our baby that."

Cuddle: (How you cuddle)

Ethan will never admit it, actually would take it to his grave :)) but he lived for cuddling

He'd always wait until you ask, but honestly will just stare at you all day just wishing he could ask you.

“Ethan do you wanna cuddle?”

“i dunno pumpkin do you wanna cuddle?”

you would play along and act like you didn’t know he loved it, even though it was very noticeable when he would practically tackle you to the nearest piece of furniture, and hold you tight for the rest of the day.

Dates: (Most dates are like..)

ok ethan wasn’t the best at expressing his feelings, but would always try when it came to dates. he always came up with the best ideas, always wanting to adventuring and being with you, his two favorite things.

From cliff diving, and then just riding quads he always tries to make it a blast just to see that smile, and see you laugh for even a second

it was worth it

Everything: (You’re his everything)

It was very unlike Ethan to just be this quiet all day, usually it meant he was so into thought of course hungry. But this was different, silence was never this long, or worried you as much as it did now. 

“E?” You mumble, watching as he finally shifted to face you. “Are you okay?”

Ethan look at you unsure, not being the best at explaining his feelings, but feeling them was a whole another story. Ethan struggled he struggled with insecurities, he struggled with self worth, he just couldn’t understand why you would want him. “Why me? Why me out of everyone in this world? Why do I deserve you?

“E what do you mean?” It caught you off guard, not really knowing what to say, it was so unvery like him.

“I mean why did you choose me? You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, you’re perfect and i’m just me. You’re everything I ever wanted.. and I’m just me.”

With no words, you stand, taking a seat on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck before pressing a soft kiss against his lips, “I choose you because you are that person for me, the perfect person for me.”

Feelings: (When he first realized he had feelings for you..)

well let’s just say that these feelings hit ethan like a truck omg

you two were friends before you started dating, not really close though

you were more friends with grayson and would tend to stay but him more, but you would alway talk to ethan

it was this one time, all his friends were over the house, everyone seemed to be having fun except you, who sat at the dinning room table just staring at the plate of pizza grayson had passed to you hours ago

“Hey.” Ethan’s words were quiet, but loud enough for your ears only. You smiled sweetly besides the ache against inside your chest.

“Hey E.”

“Why are you all alone? everyone is having fun?” It was also not very like you to just sit there, usually being the life of the party.

It took a few minutes before you answered truthfully, “I miss my family is all.”

Ethan let out a sigh, knowing exactly how that did feel, he moved closer to you, arm swinging around the back of your chair. “Looks like you’re stuck with me all night.”

And with that smile he was given, he couldn’t help but feel the heat in his cheeks, and his heart thumping against his chest.

Gentle: (How gentle is he?)

Ethan is so gentle with you, doesn’t matter the situation he is so soft with you

maybe because he sees you as the most precious thing in the world, and would never do anything to break it

but like just imagine him accidently hitting you while play fighting, and as soon as he saw the tears, he literally felt his heart get ripped out of his chest, he would hold you so tight to his chest, pressing soft kisses against your head, “I’m so so so sorry baby, oh my god.”

he literally felt like he killed a puppy

Hand/Hold: (PDA)

Ethan isn’t really into public PDA, he would never not touch you though, usually it’s just holding hands with you, or small kiss to your cheek

but when you guys were alone, he loved loved loved kissing, and hugging you, just being close to you. Cuddling, or just resting his hand on your knee or thigh as he plays on his phone.

Interest: (His interest in you..)

He always asks how your day went, what you did, or if he notices what is bothering you so much.

Ethan was always so intrested in you, he would always make sure everything was okay.

and when he knew something was wrong, he would always lay down next to you, hands finding yours, entertwining them, “What happened today baby, who do I gotta beat up?”

Joker: (Funny stuff)

When you and ethan are together forget about it, you’re either dying or laughter, or jokingly yelling at each other

Grayson would get so annoyed at how stupid you guys get, like literally dropping a piece of bread on the ground, and the both of you dying of laughter, but it would make him laugh at how hard you two were laughing over it

also teaming up on grayson with pranks, and you getting ethan good with grayson

Kisses: (How he often kisses you…)

E is always kissing you.

Literally is always wanting a kiss too, 

could be cooking, “give me a kiss.”

or showering, “wait before you shower, kiss.”

“KISSSSS ME!!!”

Little Things: (A small thing he loves about you..)

Whenever you’re having a bad day, you literally wrap yourself in an Ethan burrito, never leaving his side, he loves clingy you.

Memory: (Favorite memory of you..)

Ethan’s favorite memory will have to be your first date despite how nervous he was, and his calmmy hands.

he was suttering mess the whole time, with red cheeks

he was so embrassed but hearing you laugh made him calm slightly

Nickel: (Spoiling you..)

Ethan is always buying you stuff

hes spoils you 24/7 which annoys you so much because you can’t do it back

so he tones it down and finds new ways of spoiling you such a drawing you baths, taking you on small dates and even trying to cook for you (Which turns out awful, so you usually order pizza)

Orange: (Favorite color..)

The color of your lips after he’s kissed them for hours. The swelling ontop of the slight color of irritation from him biting them.

Petnames: (what he calls you..)

usually calls you babe, baby, and babygirl. He’s main nickname for is pumpkin though. When you first started dating you expressed your love for fall which lead him to taking you to pumpkin patch to of course get your pumpkins for carving.

He loved how excited you were, and when you finally did pick the pumpkin, “My pumpkin, got her pumpkin.” The blush that filled your cheeks was the cutest thing ever.

You call him honey, hun, babe, E, and baby. You two rarely use each other names, only when you’re mad.

Questions: (What he usually asks you..)

“How was your day babygirl?” He never fails to ask you everyday, the moment he sees you after school, it always makes you smile.

“Why are you so pretty?!” Using his baby voice and pinching your cheeks in his hands. You groan tiredly, only waking up moments ago, pushing his hands away.

Remember: (What does he remember?)

Ethan always remembers things, he doesn’t need any reminding, he usually reminds you.

He does remember special dates such as your birthday or anniversaries, also he tries extra hard to remember you saying you like or want something. 

Sad: (What he does when he’s sad)

When Ethan is sad he tends to push away but doesn’t mean to

He’ll soon apologize, and just want to hold you. He hates when he lets his emotions take over, and can’t stand seeing you said.

all he wants to do is cuddle in these times, holding you makes it better.

Talking: (His talking..)

Ethan literally doesn’t ever stop talking, it’s just him, but there are so many times where you get annoyed

“ETHAN QUIET TIME PLEASE”

Untruth: (Truthfulness..)

Ethan will always tell you the truth.

but when it comes to something that might help your feelings, he won’ tell you in order to avoid any kind of sadness 

Volume: (Does he talk about you?)

He talks about you a lot

even if the person is to interested

he will just keep going on

and on

and on

bc he loves his bitch and wants the world to know

Why: (Why he loves you..?)

Hes never met someone so caring, so full of life. Someone so loves him completely, will do anything for him. Ethan is truly best and he’s reminded every time he sees that beautiful face.

You’re everything he could’ve hoped for in a girlfriend.

X- Vision: (Does he know you?)

He knows you so well, he usually guesses what it is wrong, he doesnt need help.

he knows you like the back of his hand, he can see your face and know any emotion.

You: (what you are to him…)

his very best friend in the world next to his brother.

you’re his sunshine, despite always waking up to early, he’s glad you’re the first ray of the sun he sees every morning.

ethan can’t imagine his life without you now, not having a cuddle buddy, someone who gets him food when he’s going to hard core in fortnite, but also having a food buddy forever.

Zebra: (pets)

ethan has always wanted animals, but due to grayson being severly allergic to dogs, he couldn’t

but the moment you two got an apartment, without even telling you, he walked in not even a few hours later with a puppy

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan imagine #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #the dolan twins imagine #the dolan twins

[paintedface]

takes some time

summary: you encounter your ex, the infamous lance tucker, and despite the nasty breakup, you feel him drawing you back in

pairing: lance tucker x reader

word count: 4257 words

warnings: angst, a bit of shaming, a lot of fluff (don’t worry, i still have a heart)

notes: hello! thank you so much to the beautiful @cumonbucky for motivating me constantly on this fic, and sharing my love for lance the dickhead.

it’s been 5000 years since i’ve posted a fic, and unfortunately there may not be fics for a while due to a europe choir tour and a two month camp that I go to in about a month (the latter being without wifi!!) and I’ll try to schedule some things, but in the mean time, enjoy this lancey stuff

Permanent Tags are OPEN | masterlist

“Ah, Y/N Y/L/N, I didn’t expect to see you back here.”

You tense, before bringing yourself to turn around. You instantly feel a pang to your heart when you see the man before you.

“Lance Tucker. Well, I’m only here to talk to Hope.” You give him a bitter smile, jerking your chin in the direction of Hope’s office.

He smirks, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. “You sure about that? Or did you just wanna see me again?”

You have to tell yourself to breathe, or else you’ll tell him that yes, I did want to see you again. But you manage to keep your breath under control, though your smile drops.

“I was hoping not to run into you, actually.” You say levelly, eyeing him warily. His hand flies to his heart, his expression feigning hurt.

“Ouch, that’s not very nice of you, sweetheart.” He pouts, and you can feel your nails dig into your palms as he watches your composure begin to crumble in a matter of seconds.

“Don’t pretend to be nice, Lance.” You say harshly, your bottom lip beginning to tremble slightly.

Your shaking voice lowers to something barely above a whisper. “You’re the one who cut it off.”

Before he can say something, you turn to cross the gym sharply, where Hope is coming out of her office. You can’t give Lance the satisfaction of being able to break you. You quickly wipe your eyes before you greet Hope, her wide grin making you smile again, as she pulls you into a hug.

“Run into Lance, yet?” Hope asks, the two of you now in her office. You sighs, nodding in resignation and crossing your arms over your chest.

“Yeah, just before we came in here. I almost cried in front of him.” You mutter, still ashamed.

She raises an eyebrow, coming around the desk to sit on it, in front of your chair. “Shit, girl, you’ve got to let him go. He’s the one that should be crying like a fucking baby, for letting you go.”

Hope goes silent for a moment, before saying, “What actually happened? I know the vague details but I’m pretty much in the dark.”

Tears prick your eyes at the thought of reliving that goddamn night, and seeing him again just put more salt in the wound. “I…”

Her face softens instantly, putting a hand on your shoulder gently. “You don’t have to tell me if he was really that much of a manwhore.”

You let out a slightly teary laugh at her description of him, shaking your head. “It’s okay, I wanna tell you, because I know you slap guys better than anyone I know.”

Her grin is fast and sharp. “You’re right about that. Now tell me, so I know how hard to do it.”

8 months ago

“Lance? Wh-what are you doing?” You whisper, heart beating fast as you watch your long term boyfriend throw the last of his things into his luggage.

He snorts, rolling his eyes. “Surely you knew it was coming to this. We were never going to last, Y/N.” He slings his jacket over his shoulder as your hands begin to tremble.

“Everyone knows that I’m too good for you, Y/N. Everyone.” Lance scoffs, before heading to the entrance. You can’t believe what you’re hearing, because everything seemed fine yesterday and now it’s just crashing down. Tears are filling your eyes at a rapid pace as he opens the door.

“Oh, and don’t try calling me. I don’t need your voice clogging up my voicemail.” He says swiftly, before walking out without sparing you another glance.

Your breath feels like it’s been torn out with a fist, as you let your tears flow freely, knees feeling as if they’re about to buckle at any moment. You let out a sob, and another, and another, because you don’t know where you went wrong.

Hope’s mouth is agape as you finish your story, looking down at your lap so you don’t cry again at the memories.

“Fuck, Y/N, that’s horrible.” She murmurs gently, in contrast to her teasing tone beforehand, hugging you closely.

You bite your lip to keep the tears in as you wrap your arms around her, burying your head in her shoulder.

“I didn’t know he was such a dick, but how can you even stand to talk to him now? You didn’t deserve any of that.”

You shrug, pulling away reluctantly. “I probably did and…”

“Girl, stop.” Hope gives you a glare and you shut up. “You’re one of the best people I know, you’re so fucking kind, funny and beautiful and I would honestly date you if I wasn’t dating Ben.”

You give a weak chuckle, standing up. “Ben’s good, fuck off. Don’t ditch him.”

Hope gives you a smile, flicking her fringe out of her eyes. “I won’t. I’ll go speak to Lance as you make your escape, I’ll make sure to make him bruise.”

She heads out of the door before you, instantly crossing the gym towards Lance, who’s doing one handed push ups on the gym floor. You quickly dodge out of the building, not wanting to be caught by the man. Because from the conversation you had with him before, he’s out to make your life a living hell.

“Hey sugartits.” Lance gets up from his push ups to greet Hope. Before he can even properly stand up, he sees Hope’s arm move, and the next thing, he’s stumbling to the side, his cheek throbbing in pain.

He groans, hands flying up to cup his cheek, glaring at Hope. “What the fuck, Hope?! What did I do this time?!” The sting was growing, and he knew that it, for sure, was gonna at least leave a mark for a couple of days.

If looks could kill, Lance would’ve been dead, right on the spot. Hope’s hands are curled into fists, and for her small stature, she could be intimidating when she wanted to.

“How the fuck could you have done such a shitty thing to Y/N?! And have the goddamn audacity to even talk to her when she came back?!” Hope yells, her voice increasing in pitch and volume. Lance winces at her harsh words, looking away, eyes lingering on the exit of the gym.

“I don’t know.” Is all he says, and Hope scoffs, reaching out to shove him lightly in the chest.

“Bull shit, you don’t know. I thought you were the perfect damn couple! Her kindness outweighed your dick personality, and you made her laugh so much. I know something went down between the two of you, but I didn’t know it was just you.” The anger in her voice lowers, and she shakes her head. “Why?”

He bites his lip, gesturing helplessly with his right hand. He knew he couldn’t give Hope a half-assed answer, because she’d fucking know. “I thought it’d be for the best. She’s...better off without me so I made her leave. I made her leave.” His voice cracks on the last sentence, and Hope’s face softens, if only a little.

“Lance, you gotta know that I still hate you, but if you loved her, you should’ve stayed with her. You think she’s better off without you but you hurt her more than you helped her. You made her so happy, Lance, when you guys were in a relationship, it was like a sappy teen movie and though it was so fucking cheesy, it was the happiest I’ve ever seen either of you.” She crosses her arms, looking up at the taller man.

Lance sighs, left hand massaging his increasingly red cheek. “I didn’t know what to fucking do. I was gonna fuck it up at some point, right? So I did it the way that everyone expects me to; to ditch them because I’m so far up my own ass.”

“Yeah, but you could’ve talked it out if you did fuck up at some point. You didn’t even give her a choice, and you hurt her in the process.” Hope’s tone gets harsher at the end and her eyes widen in surprise at the sight of tears at the corner of Lance’s.

“I loved her, Hope. I still fucking love her, but I went and ruined it, and I don’t know how to talk to her anymore.” He whispers, mind going back to your interaction earlier that day, heart clenching at your expression.

Hope tilts her head, and he can see the gears turning in her head. “I have a plan, but I’m only doing this for Y/N’s happiness, not yours. I still won’t forgive you and I never will, especially if you fuck it up this time as well.”

“Wait, really?” Lance asks softly, and she nods, walking towards her office.

“Come with me, dickbreath, and we’ll talk strategy.”

7 months ago

Like he said, you never called him. But every night, Lance had his phone in his hand, his only connection to you now, waiting for your name to appear on his screen, but it never happened.

He’d been living like this for a month, eat breakfast, go to work, have lunch, come back home, have dinner and and then just think back over all the memories he ever had with you. It’s his fault, he knows, but he knew that he couldn’t call you. He broke your goddamn heart, for fuck’s sake, as if you’d pick up.

He sighs, putting the phone down as his eyes flickered over to the picture frame on his coffee table. It’s a picture of you and him, on your first anniversary, when you went to a pop up carnival. He has his arm wrapped around your waist closely, lips hovering over your hair as you smile brightly at the photographer, the bright lights of the ferris wheel illuminating the two of you.

Lance picks up the photo, tears slipping out of his eyes as he smiles at the memory, but mourns the loss of the thought of never having a moment like that ever again. All because of him.

Present day

“Hit me baby one more-“

You scramble to get your phone to stop your Britney Spears ringtone, pressing answer and holding it up to your ear.

“Yes?”

“Main bitch! I have somebody I want you to meet.” Hope’s cheerful voice blares through the phone’s speaker and you grimace, settling back onto the pristine hotel blankets.

“I don’t want to meet anyone, Hope. I just wanna take a bubble bath tonight, because I bought a shit ton of bath products from the mall.” You sigh, crossing one leg over the other.

“Yeah, that’s fine, I scheduled your blind date for tomorrow night.”

“What?! You already booked it?!” You screech, sitting up straight.

Hope laughs from the other side and you groan. “Hell yeah I did, it’ll be at 7:00pm, Sylvio’s, that fancy restaurant you like, don’t you dare be late. I’ll be there to introduce you to the date.”

You huff, shaking your head even though she can’t see it. “And this date, did you rope them into it?”

There’s a moment of silence where you think she’s hung up, but then she speaks. “No. He was more than willing.” You sense that there’s more meaning behind those few words, but before you can ask, the line clicks off.

Sighing, you set your phone down and you get off the bed, heading towards your bathroom. You need that bath now.

A nervous smile comes across your face as you look at yourself in your mirror. You’ve done well, choosing out a dress that looks elegant yet modern, and that defines your form beautifully. You haven’t done much with your hair but you’ve styled it slightly, along with some subtle makeup to accentuate your features.

You check the time again, before grabbing your purse. Your Uber’s coming in five minutes, and Hope would murder you if you were late. Quickly checking things over, you exit your apartment block, quickly getting into the car and getting on your way to Sylvio’s.

You’ve had a few dates on your own accord, not Hope’s, after your break up with Lance, but that still doesn’t change your nervous mindset. What if they don’t like me? What if I make a bad impression? What if… The worries are endless, but you try to make conversation with the driver, to distract yourself. He makes for a pleasant talk, bidding you a kind goodbye and good luck as you step out of the car.  

Your low heels click across the pavement, pulling the heavy door of the restaurant open. You can see Hope instantly, her blonde hair pulled into her classic ponytail, accompanied by Ben. You smile and wave at her, and she beams, heading over to you.

“Y/N! You’re here!” She embraces you, and pulls away, nodding to the steward at the front of the restaurant. “She’s with me.”

The restaurant is just as beautiful as you remember; delicate chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings, the tables decorated with roses, candles and gold cutlery. Everything is set under a warm colour theme, making it feel cosy despite the magnitude of it all.

You look across the lines of tables, and your eyes land on a person that you know way too well. You stiffen instantly, feeling your chest tighten as you notice the empty seat opposite of him.

“Hope.” You whisper nervously, and she looks at you. “Lance is here.”

She raises an eyebrow, noticing your line of gaze. “Yeah?”

“I can’t fucking stand to see him necking with another girl, right next to me. I can’t. I’m not that strong.” You gesture to the empty seat, hands beginning to tremble. God, as much as he’s been an utter asshole, your stomach still turns at the idea of Lance being with somebody else, somebody better, than you.

“Well luckily, you won’t have to.” Hope says simply, and your eyebrows furrow in confusion, until Lance catches your eye.

And it feels like your heart almost stops, at the tentative smile he gives you as he stands up. Fuck, he’s walking towards you, Hope and Ben, with his eyes locked on yours.

“Hey.” He says, furtively glancing at Hope.

She sighs, crossing her arms. “Don’t fuck this up Lance, because I will personally rip your head off. Y/N,” Hope jerks her chin towards Lance. “Your blind date, Lance Tucker.”

Your mouth parts slightly in shock, heart thumping wildly in your chest, and before you can ask Hope what the hell is happening, her and Ben have already disappeared from the restaurant.

“I bet this is your worst nightmare, hey?” Lance chuckles despondently, his tone bordering heavily on something that sounds a lot like shame.

“I…” You trail off, eyes looking anywhere but his face, which unfortunately, is his gorgeous body. He’s wearing a dark blue suit with red accents, tailored to show off his lean figure, with a white shirt with the top two buttons undone. Typical, he obviously can’t stray from the American flag.

“I just...don’t know what’s going on.” You finish quietly, eyes trailing back to his face.

He gives you another nervous, small smile, gesturing towards the table that he was sitting at. “I’ll explain, I promise, because you deserve at least an explanation for...everything.” He says softly, pulling out your chair for you. You sit down, willing your legs not to crumble beneath you.

A waitress comes around to ask whether you’d like a drink, and you ask for a light champagne, whereas Lance gets a red wine. You then order your food, barely concentrating on what you’re getting.

“Did...Hope know about this?” Is the first thing you say when the waitress leaves. 

He nods, combing a hand through his hair. “She did. But she wasn’t trying to betray you or anything she was just…”

“I understand, Lance, but…” You gesture around his face vaguely, “why did you set this up? Last time we talked, you were sort of a...dick.” You end in barely a whisper and he sighs, eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes.

“Yeah, I was. I still am, and I was as well, back...back all those months ago.” He mutters, taking the wine from the waitress, handing you your champagne.

You take a hesitant sip as you wait for him to continue, letting the fizzy bubbles on your tongue distract you from what’s actually going on.

“So I...everything that I’m gonna say may seem insincere but god, Y/N, I swear I’m only speaking the truth. I don’t wanna be that classic fuckboy who pretends to be sorry, not anymore.” He says softly, leaning forward a little, and the edge of your mouth quirks up a little. He grins as well, but it fades as he drums his fingers on the edge of the table, not knowing where to begin.

“First of all, I’m sorry for the morning a few days ago. I just...I was scared, and I didn’t know how to act, and I know that sounds like bullshit but fuck, I get so nervous.” Lance bites his lip, before continuing.

“I didn’t mean anything I ever said to you, especially during our...break up. I promise you that. The thing is I...I never felt good enough for you, Y/N. You’re such a nice, beautiful, caring and intelligent person and with my history, I’ve always felt that I never deserved you.” He gulps, looking down at his lap. “I always had felt that I had never deserved you.”

Your breath hitches in your throat, but you don’t say anything. “And I was scared that the press would come after you once they found out that we were full on dating. They always did that with me, whenever I was seen with a girl, they would drag her right through the mud, even if they didn’t know who she was. And I didn’t want that to happen to you, because I didn’t want to get you hurt.”

“Lance, that wasn’t your decision though. And you could’ve...talked to me, instead of tearing us apart.” You say quietly, and his head shoots up to look at you, eyes shining a little.

“I know, and I realise that now. Instead, I was the biggest dickhead and I hurt you more than the press ever could, because of my own insecurity. And for all of that, I’m sorry, I’m so goddamn sorry.” He plays with the cuff of his shirt, but his eyes are still focused on you, albeit teary 

The two of you fall silent, except for thanking the waitress that brings your food. Your meal is more than delicious, bursts of flavour inside your mouth, but your mind can’t savour the taste like it usually does. It’s so goddamn distracted by what the hell is going on, and whether or not to trust Lance.

Lance sneaks looks at you during the meal, the chatter of the other restaurant patrons surrounding the two of you. He looks nervous, almost scared, as if he’s a skittish kitten that’s afraid of making a wrong move and getting punished.

You ache to reach out and hold his hand again, because fuck, you know that he’s telling the truth, but you don’t know if you can accept it.

“I can...get why you did it, Lance.” You say, once the two of you have finished and paid. He raises an eyebrow, as if he doesn’t get why you’d get it.

“But I...you really hurt me, and I can’t get over that so easily.” You fiddle with the hem of your dress, not wanting to look at him, in case his reaction made you give in.

If you had looked, you probably would’ve. His face falls immediately, teeth digging into his bottom lip in harsh acceptance, nodding slowly.

“I know. I know. But thank you for...for hearing me out.” He mumbles, as you both stand up. Your heart clenches at his despondent voice, but you need time, and you know he understands.

“It’s okay. And...thank you, Lance, for telling me.” You offer him a small smile, before brushing your lips against his cheek lightly. He stiffens under your touch, not expecting it, but you can see his skin flush as you pull away.

You give him a tight nod, trying not to let on any more emotion, as you turn and walk away from him.

The next few days are horrible. You keep thinking back to that night, how much you wish you could go back and actually resolve it all. It may sound cheesy, but he’ll never leave your mind, no matter how hard you try to distract yourself from the situation. Hope’s been telling you how much Lance has been moping around the gym, and it just makes the guilt sink further.

You miss him, and fuck, you want him back. You know that you’ve accepted his apology, but you don’t know if you can wait any longer. You just want to hold him again. It’s almost like torture to you. Trying not to touch him in the past week has taken so much goddamn willpower, and you’re ready to let it go.

Dialling Hope’s number with slightly trembling hands, you hold your phone up to your ear. “Hope? Where’s Lance’s apartment?”

Lance wouldn’t be back from the gym for another hour, but you wanted to get there early, just in case. So here you are, sitting outside of Lance’s apartment for god knows how long already, hands shoved in the pockets of your sweater dress and eyes focused on your lap. You’re trying to figure out what to say, and there are reams of sentences that you could say, but you still don’t know how to talk to h-

“Y/N?” A voice asks softly, breaking you out of your thoughts. You look up, and oh god, it’s Lance. His skin is glowing from the exercise, his hair slicked back a little, and dressed in his classic tracksuit.

You stand up quickly, dusting off your dress, embarrassed. “H-hey.” You stutter out quickly, your coherent thoughts conveniently disappearing from your mind.

The two of you stare at each other for a moment, unable to form anything to say. Finally, you just give in, deciding that actions speak louder than words, right?

He opens his mouth to say something but you’ve wrapped your arms around his body, almost melting into him at the feel of the press of his body against yours again.

You pause when you realise that he’s not hugging you back, and you instantly feel a pang of hurt in your chest as you pull away. You thought that he wanted you back, so why was he-

Warm arms pull you back into his chest, shattering that doubtful train of thought as he cradled you softly but tightly in his embrace, lips pressing to the top of your head. You rest your head on his chest, feeling your bottom lip begin to quiver as he delicately runs his hand through your hair.

“Hey, baby.” He mumbles, pressing you impossibly closer as you relax in his hold.

You bury your face into his t-shirt, hiding the tears that are suddenly building in your eyes. “Hey.” You whisper, voice muffled by the t-shirt. Lance lets out a weak chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I missed you.” His voice cracks a little as he speaks, and you tilt your head to look at him. His steel blue eyes are brimming with tears as well but despite it, he grins, and you can finally feel like you can smile back.

You wake up with a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, clutching you close as if afraid to let go. You blink, wincing as the light comes into your vision, letting out a soft yawn as your eyes focus on your surroundings.

You’re at Lance’s apartment. The memories of the past afternoon and evening come flooding back to you, and you smile, remembering how Lance treated you to a homemade dinner and then a beautiful bath, finished with holding you as the two of you drifted off to sleep.

“Y/N?” A hoarse voice speaks behind you, and you turn a little to see Lance staring at you, his voice still sleep-heavy.

“Morning.” You say shyly, and his mouth breaks into a wide, albeit tired, smile.

“For the record…” He tilts your chin up with his fingers, “I adore the sound of your voice. I used to want to…call you, even if it was just your voicemail, because god, I missed it.”

You tilt your head, cheeks warming a little. “Really?”

He pulls you flush against his chest, nuzzling into the crook of your neck as you stroke his fluffy hair lightly. “Yeah, really…I thought yesterday was a...a dream.” He murmurs, and you raise an eyebrow. 

“Why?”

He inhales sharply, gazing back at you. “Because sometimes it did happen, in my dreams. But it would always end in me fucking up again.”

You sigh at his remark, shifting a little so you can tap his nose. He wrinkles it and you laugh softly, his face lighting up at the sound of it. “I trust that you won’t fuck up again, and I’ll stay. I promise.”

“I won’t do anything to push you away again, I swear on my heart.” Lance breathes, and you smile as he hugs you closer, kissing your forehead.

The two of you have a lot to clear up, but you know that you’ll handle it together.

permanent tags (possibly closing): @vibranium-arm / @gallifreyansass / @omalleysgirl22 / @girlwith100names / @buckysinthesinbin / @infinitishuri / @buckyofthemyscira / @iamwarrenspeace / @alohabucky / @cuddlysteven / @buckybarnesappreciationsociety / @debbielovesbucky / @metal-armed-dino / @helloitscrowley / @sebastian-stans-thighs / @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics / @lorna-danee / @feelmyroarrrr / @mjuikoli / @megan-atthedisco-blog / @yoyolovesbucky / @sebbies / @carriefish-er / @jurassicbarnes / @ssweet-empowerment / @shieldagentofthemonth / @palaiasaurus64 / @i-love-superhero / @infiniteholland / @ailynalonso15 / @bywonater / @vanillaicecrusher / @titty-teetee / @breezy1415 / @the-geeky-engineer / @mercedesbarnes / @bioticgoddess / @thewonderfulworldofafangirl / @realgreglestrade / @memory-of-a-goldfish / @amynotsantiago / @bandbooktvaddict / @edgyroses / @buckysmaingirl / @thefridgeismybestie / @cumonbucky / @untimelyideasforstories / @ridingmoxley / @jadalecki-jackles / @peters-vlogs / @em--z / @hdthdthdt / @thefridgeismybestie / @jamie-leah / @heyrogers / @ivy-16-18 / @marvlemarvlemarvlemarvle / @nephilimseb / @saveyourbucky / @wonderless-screwup / @rashinyx2002 / @httpmcrvel / @thunderous-flower / @buckys-newarm / @cordysblog / @swanky-batman / @bythebloodofafangirl / @disneymarina / @whyisbuckyso / @katiekitty261 / @plaid-skirt / @stan-by-me / @samwinchxtr / @mypage-myfandoms / @its-daydreamer23 / @goldenkillmonger / @savonid / @ohhhotstan / @softlysgtbarnes / @perksofeatingbacon / @sweet-barnes / @clever-theorist-painter / @thesergeantandstevie / @hewassortapunkroque / @rosescentedblood / @swtltlmrvlgrl / @thisismysecrethappyplace / @sydm15

(strike through means I couldn't tag you, sorry!)

#sebastian stan #seb stan #sebastian stan x reader #seb stan x reader #sebby stan #lance tucker #lance tucker x reader #sebastian stan imagine #seb stan imagine #lance tucker imagine

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Top 50 Songs of 2019

1.  Julia Jacklin - Head Alone

Lyricism, pace, snowballing, power, catchiness. Pure catchy and melodic, angelic, lovely, lusty.

2. Cate le Bon - Sad Nudes

Her voice, always, a thing of intelligent beauty. 

Interesting subject matter.  Reclaiming nudes?  Is it sad to take nudes? I feel like it’s empowering but not also.  I hate the thought of men requesting nudes.  My sister and her peers get this a lot and I don’t like it.  It confers power to the voyeur (often deeply unattractive comparatively!) 

But then it could be seen as empowering also, if it’s just for yourself taking it.   For centuries, people want to see themselves depicted in narrative and photo form - is this what makes us human?  Fascinating.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

As a tenuous link between Cate’s track and Julia Jacklin, Julia also has a track named ‘Body’ which explores a past relationship.  It reflects on a relationship that ends.  These next lines are powerful:-

‘I’m not a good woman, when you’re around’  (Cat Power’s - Good Woman also explores this, what defines this?  Why do people make us feel like we need to perform the role of a ‘good woman’ - why do we feel bad, if we are angry or negative or depressed?  I think says a lot about the social construction of femininity being tied to ‘goodness’ I think it harms us sometimes, comparing ourselves to these ‘selfless’, good women that are also beautiful, hard-working, intellectual, but not too intellectual, and always sensitive to men’s needs over their own. 

Back to Julia’s perfect lyrics:-

That’s when the sound came in.  I could finally see.

I felt the changing of the seasons // All of my senses, rushing back to me.

Go your own way // Watch me turn my own head.

Eyes on the driver, hands in my lap, heading to the city to get my body back. 

I remembered early days // when you took my camera

Turned to me, 23, naked on your bed.  Looking straight at ya.

Do you still have that photograph? Would you use it to hurt me?  Well I guess it’s just my life and it’s just my body.  

I guess it’s just my life, and it’s just my body.

That feeling of intrusion, I can relate to massively. Sometimes you feel alienated by your own body and that it is “just a body”, and that you’re not really valued for anything but your body.  I think it’s more of a female experience. 

3.  Sharon van Etten - Seventeen

Strength, defiance, powerful, connectivity, ageing.  Ace lyricss, “I used to be 17, now you’re just like me”.  There is such beauty and wisdom in this song, “i see you so uncomfortably alone / I wish I could show you how much you’ve grown”   “I used to be 17, I used to be 17.”  Love the way she signs “la la la” oh gorgeous simplicity but with this intelligence and edge.  “I know what you’re gonna be, I know that you're gonna be”   “Afraid you’ll be just like meeeeeeeeee”  (Och, sad/sweet/reflection, feeling old but with the responsibility and confidence that comes with it.  Sounds a wee bit like Patti Smith on the extended high notes on “meeeeeeeeee” so feisty.  How we are all basically that under confident, anxious 17 year old, even when we’ve grown and learnt all these life lessons.  

4.  Sault - Up All Night

Opening bongo drums and bass, slick and classy, draw you in. Such a catchy tune.  “no time for sleep”.  Such an exciting weekend song, makes you feel excited.  I like the kind of declarative “shut up you need to shut up” entwined with “don’t stop the beat again”  I can’t work out if the male vocals are referencing vulvas, if so, hell yes.  “And I will walk alone” Such feistiness and catchiness.  At around 2 minute 32, it picks up volume into some kind of psychedelic and calediscospic drop that just keeps building and I feel like I am in a 70s movie walking along the pavement, euphoric and bombastic.  Then drums again.  The drums, vocals and bass are the strength of this track.  

5.  Faye Webster - Room Temperature

Wonky, sassy, hubby, intelligent, sarcastic, bittersweet breakup sass.  

6.  Buzzy Lee - Sundown Queen

Purely for the most gorgeous, romantic voiced line of the year:-

“In the seventies, we’d be in love”.

7.   Ada Lea - The Party

Another brilliant female vocalist.  “Ditch the party, in your beat up truck.  You’re always leaving when the night starts”.

Fave line - And the moon was a strange shade of green, orange, was i wrong cause I couldn’t tell the difference at all?

At all, at all, at all.

Stood on the porch, watching you get away.

Second fave line:-

And the night, that night was a pure shade of honest, or something Was I wrong? 'Cause I couldn't tell the difference At all, at all, at all, at all

So it’s kind of like the moon and the night verses, are similar, in tone of voice or enunciation and I really really like this.  

8.  Grace Ives - Anything

Lovesong, post-modernity.  Like a future scape, electronic, tinny, flimsy but with a depth to the writing, also a boom boxy 90s feel. 

Rhyming.  

Electronic.  “Holding hands, silence sigh”  “I can’t think of any way to move, I look you in the eye”.  

“I’m right here, I wanna love you.  I wanna fight”.

“I would do anything, anything, anything to keep you in my life”. (Oh my life)

“That’s the way it’s got to be from now on”.

“I’m gonna talk, I’m trying harder, I’m sleeping less”.

“I would do anything, anything to keep everything above my chest”.

“Chest” it’s the way she says it.  Dark, light, sarcastic.  Kind of reminds me of Cher or someone with a deeper vocal range.  

“That’s the way it’s got to be from now on”.

“Oh that’s the way it’s got to be” (highness, lightness)

That is the way, it’s just the way it’s gotta be (guaranteed to get in your brain all day).

Also, a mention for her song Mirror which is brilliant.  It’s like a song we might have heard when we were 13, but so much better and sassier.  It has this 90s r+b feel, but is smart and weird, “I think I think about it too much right now, I didn’t know what I was about, I think I finally got it f- figured out”. 

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Money, move me along

Heart, in the air

Baby, I don’t care 

Also another mention for Butterfly

It’s so sexy and her high range is amazing.  

9.  Ztella - Samba

Do I like samba songs because I spent my late childhood/early adolescence in a dance hall in Bolton doing the samba with various girls from places in Bolton I didn’t know.  Yes, I am pre-disposed.  

But this song is fine.  It’s fit as.  Exuberant.  Classy.  Mid summer evenings.  Breezy holidays, sun sea air catching your neck, and making you want to dance.

10. Brijean - Show and Tell

Those hazy female Californian vocals I like so much like Mama Cass.  So slick and lovely, also a few 70s funk whistles and synths as the drop comes in.

11.  Babii - Seizure

12.  Jorge Albrecht - Only Gonna Break Your Heart

Those male/female vocals, laced, layered with back and forth woozy bass, similar to some other songs I like such as Marilyn by Them are Us Two and Soft as snow (but warm inside) by MBV.

13.  SASAMI - Pacify my Heart

Classy, sad, melancholic, fresh, zen, neutral, complexity.  

14.  Weyes Blood - Picture be Better

All the Joni vibes on this record.  Sad sad reflection on wanting to be redeemed and seen in a better light.  I love her voice, production, depth to the lyrics.  I like how her voice is in a lower key than most, lyrics flowing with such intricacy yet also stripped back and melodic.  

15.  Noname - Song 32

Sweet rhyming style, super feminine and confident flow, so slick tho, could be any male rapper.  “I am the Kennedy’s out for lunch” nice reference to history.  “Diddy money” oh yes, talking about this commercialisation of rap backed by big business (1 person monopoly).  Also, what I like about this track is that it reminds me of being younger and in the summer listening to pop and rap and r&b in the garden, only it’s a kickass female rapper who is smart and funny.

16.  Big Thief - Not

So fulfilling to listen to, belting it out and feeling angst.  

17.  Planet 1999 - Spell

Dream like 90s vibes, lush harmonies are so light and airy and then the bass and drums kick in.  So melodic, I feel like I am feminist Barbie listening to this.  Beautiful vocals.    

18.  Lightning Bug - Vision Scraps

Distortion opening, reminiscent of MBV.  Sweet hummingbird vocals, laced with distorted guitars. Nice drums. Having to really listen to the words. Break in the distortion at approx 2 minute

19.  Carla dal Forno - Dont Follow Me

20.  Teen Body - Dreamo

Twin peaks synths and guitars open the song.  Lovely MBV drone guitars on the 2 count, lovely, dreamy.  Then vocals begin so angelic and beatific, i love it.  Could be a much clearer Blinda Butcher vocal.   Hazy, woozy, wavey and repeat.  Male/Female vox interplay I like, so reminiscent of MBV.  MBV being the best archetype.  Male vocals, a little too high in pitch to be as good as Kevin Shields, however, still this track is very pleasing.  “I could have told you that”

Nice wee break in the track at 3 minute 34 secs.  

21.  James Massiah - Natural Born Killers (Ride for Me)

Trippy, bubbly, spaceagey, acid vibes, dystopia/utopia cityscapes.  Danceable, intelligent and jocular.  

22.  Sandy - Not There

23.  Mount Eerie - Love Without Possession

24.  Easter - Muscle

It’s no wonder to me that Easter is a novelist because her word play engulfs you in these romantic, callous, cruel, visceral, trippy, sexual double entendres and European flaneur narratives.  

While the (heart) beats are 90s Euro beats but with a finesse and style no one rivals. Also, about the drums and electronic synths - they really punctuate the spoken word lyrics, it feels like a marching band or something - so taut and percussive.  

I’m going to eventually write a list of my favourite Easter lyrics and this is such catharsis, they bring me joy.  Smart and critical but trippy and fun.  Decidedly adult.

“Back to the studio.  Holding my crotch.  Laying it down”.

“Sadness is an evil gas inside of me”.  (I can totally relate).  

“like a pack of miniature Russian figure skaters on a suicide mission across the frozen lakes of the world to find true love” Oh my, the imagery, startling and beautiful.  Think about also trafficking of Russian women?  Is this what she is referring to?  Or Russian athletes?  Intriguing.  

“A future where each pussy gets a puppy when she hits the floor”.  What does this even mean?  Cats reigning supreme.  Women/femininity to be rewarded for action or inaction?  Fascinating.  

“I fall asleep on these sticky sheets to dream of you and how we’ll meet, again one day to fuck, and eat, and drink and kiss and never sleep”.  Holy cow!!  Gut punching eroticism and obsession.

25.  Okay Kaya - Ascend and Try Again 

Great guitar, slow melancholic and then the singing starts which is just gorgeous and reflective. 

“Ascend and try again” (I like the lyrics, I want to ascend to be honest).

Her voice feels so comforting with this depth and clarity that shines through.

Definite ear worm you can’t stop singing. 

26.  Sandy (Alex G) -  In My Arms

27.  American Football - Every Wave to Every Rise

28.  Sleep Over - I don't want to hide

29.  Molina - Venus

30.  EDDYEVVY - All for Me

31.  Fauness - Soon There Will Be No Summer

32.  Infinite Bisous - Island

33.   Aldous Harding - The Barrel

This song is catchy, but slightly off beat, you don’t know where she’s going to go with it, left-field, jarring.  I wasn’t sure about the vocals initially, but each time I listen, I enjoy it.  

34.  Free Love - Everyone

35.  Eartheater - Concealer

36.  Hand Habits - Placeholder 

37.  Erika de Casier - Good Time

38.  Aya Gloomy - vs Reality

39.  Fee Lion - Re(Visit)

“I love you but I cannot think about you anymore”.  Pulsating bass and catchy distorted synths.  Vocals are beautiful.  “Time to erase our time”.  Breakup contemplation.  Becomes more intimate yet intense, picks up tempo but vocals are more stripped “I am walking alone, feeling fine on my own”.  REPEAT.   Pertinent.  More explained.  “I knew you, oh how I knew you, oh.  I kne-ew you (lovely enunciation” Can we really stake claim to having known someone once?

“All I have is time, time to erase our time”.  When you just want to erase someone so much and it takes a long time because the way you think is so merged with that person.

Ultimate power track.  Deriving power.  Gaining strength.

“Feeling fine”.  One last declaration of strength.  

40.  Equip - Shop (New Inventory!)

This is the song I want to soundtrack my weekly shop so I can imagine being a vaporwave, nintendo or anime character going about the shops, similar to kick ass Negative Gemini, but instead I will reconcile I am a boring nerd (while listening to sick beats, yo!)

41.  Pearly - Too me

Self-composed/self-control

Post-rock with Julee Cruise angel vocals I love.

42.  Mount Kismet - Teenage Fantasy

43.  Prince Rama - F.A.T.E. bought us together

44.  Space Drum Machine - The Mauskovic Dance Band

Infectious, brilliant sitar sounds and synths, makes me want to dance.  Light, breezy, melodic holiday song that sweeps along at pace.  

45.  Ariana Grande - Ghosting

Such a sad melody and lyricism, that sounds cinematic its perfection.  Woozy synths and sirens, that engage the listener straight away.

“I know you hear me when I cry

I try to hold in the night”

Sadness, her voice is stunning.  

“Baby you’re doing so well” Her voice.  Oh so beautiful.

“We’ll get through this, we’ll get past this, I’m a girl with - a whole lot of baggage” (I can identify).

I dunno what this song is about - a couple becoming stronger

The strings, the synths becoming more orchestral.  

‘I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again”.

46. Lana del Rey - California

I could have put any track off Normal Fucking Rockwell to be fair as her songs are ace.

47.  Elena Setien/Mary Lattimore - Wreckage of the hunt

Beautiful harp offsets beautiful vocals.  Lovely and classy.  

48  Blue Hawaii - All that Blue

“Give me sunshine too, oh yeah”. 

49.  Xavibo and Aleesha - Last Call

Best line “some drunk cop might pull me over’.  I like how American people are contextualising this in regards to people of colour being pulled over by inept cops.  Worrying it still happens though.  I guess as well, you wouldn’t really expect a hyper feminine female pop track to be referring to this though - which is great. 

50.  Automatic - Calling It.

Nice drums and guitars, kind of 60s sounding, building and building.  Then female sass vocals, loud and joyous.  “Emotions always out of reach”.  The guitars have this throbbing kind of swagger I also like on a track by Maraudeur named ‘Computer Dreams’.

“A picture of your changing face / To hold it all together”.

What I like is the merging of guitars with synths to make these future/retro narratives that are existential and narrative based.

#d

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows Vol 2 #6-7 Thoughts

Previous thoughts here.

Okay I’ve finally caught up to where I left off with RYV in 2017 so these are my thoughts on the X-Men arc.

I have very mixed feeling about this arc depending upon what POV I look at it from.

As a general story unto itself and an instalment in this series it was pretty great.

However in the context of an AU series with a limited shelf-life as is and in a context when Spider-Man had so often been sharing the spotlight (and the Spider-Marriage hadn’t been seen) making what amounted to a standard paint by numbers X-Men story just from the Parker’s POV was very questionable even if I like the X-Men.

Finally from the POV of a guy who likes the X-Men but isn’t hardcore but is very much in love with 90s X-Men (which this version is based upon) my feelings are very mixed.

And that boils down to what I love about the X-Men and that era of the X-Men vs. how Conway apparently feels about them.

But let’s get general perennial opinions out the way. I’ve grown to begrudgingly accept the conceit of this series as a Spider Family book and a book where we are just going to ignore the child endangerment issues at play. But i’ve spoken about that before in my older coverage of issues #1-5. Similarly in those issues and it still holds true for this arc, Stegman is the goddam man when it comes to the artwork.

Whilst there was one panel in which he tried to draw MJ shocked and upset and it came off just goofy, over all the artwork in this arc was stunning and I genuinely said ‘wow’ out loud when I got to the splash page of Spider-Man and Wolverine.

Keeping on the visuals for a moment, I goddam love the costumes chosen for the characters here. Yes even the reimagined looks for Toad, Crucible and Mist Mistress.

Obviously I don’t talk X-Men here much but I adore the 1990s X-Men costumes from the 1992 cartoon, which originated under Jim Lee. And honestly they genuinely are among the most iconic and visually dynamic looks for the characters so it’s not purely personal preference. This is especially resonant for me with Wolverine. Spider-Man is my favourite (American comic book) character and following him are various Spider-Verse characters like MJ, Norman Osborn, Ben Reilly, Mayday, etc.

But outside of those Spider-Verse characters, Wolverine is my absolute fav Marvel character and it’s always annoyed me that Marvel were like embarrassed to put him in his classic Giant-Sized X-Men uniform once Whedon began writing X-Men.

That is THE iconic Wolverine look and in this story Stegman brought it back baby!

Similarly I appreciated that the Magneto of this story both looked and acted like classic Magneto. Not the aweful black and silver shit he was wearing around this time in the comics and I’ve never been fond of him as a good guy member of the X-Men.

Honestly, whilst I get it was well executed character development, Magneto is inherently more interesting as a morally grey antagonist for the X-Men than among their ranks. So much of the core premise of X-Men is built around the fundamental philosophical conflict between Magneto’s beliefs and Xaviers that you lose a not insignificant chunk of the essence of X-Men when you put them on the same side. Not to mention in a superhero story you want strong characters as antagonists and Magneto is arguably the best X-Men villain, scratch that best comic book villain, ever.

Okay now let’s chat story.

I wasn’t pleased with  the deaths in this. Banshee might be few people’s fav  but Beast was and in both cases their quick shock deaths were unearned and unworthy. Kind of overly dark to be honest with you given the nature of the RYV book and it gave the impression that Conway isn’t fond of either character.

But that sentiment shines through far more poignantly with Jubilee and Cyclops. Whilst Cyclops gets screwed over slightly less badly than he did in the X-Men movies, the same problems occur. He gets undermined in favour of Wolverine and so Logan and Jean can be shipped together. Which is only a different flavour of frustrating if you LIKE the Cyclops/Jean relationship as I do, than when Jean got screwed over so Scott and Emma could hook up. I still despise that.*

But at least this was kind of believable, at least to me. No X-Men expert so maybe their break up was OOC, but the idea that Cyclops and Jean broke up because Jean didn’t have faith in controlling her Godlike powers whilst Cyclops did is an interesting piece of relationship drama. And at least the characters in RYV didn’t get fucked as hard as they did in the 2000s.

Still you can kind of tell Conway isn’t a big fan of Cyclops (understandable he has his haters, I hate 2000s-2010s Cyclops) but you can equally tell he really doesn’t like Jubilee.

Again, not an X-Men expert here but I’m pretty sure Jubilee being a traitor to the X-Men and being disillusioned by Xavier’s methods is immensely OOC for her character.

Now that isn’t that big of a deal because this is an AU at the end of the day. But if you like Jubilee or just know her character then it will probably annoy you. Unfortunately for one reason or another Jubilee in my observations seems to get a lot of hate that Kitty Pryde and X-23 don’t and I do not understand why.

In the cases of both characters I could tell instantly that Conway was setting one of them up to be the traitor and honestly if you are doing an AU book, Cyclops is kind of the more interesting choice although I grant you maybe not in the context of 2010s Cyclops who already murdered Xavier in AvX and has been a douchebag for a long time. But in the context of this story and 1990s X-Men which this story is trading off of, it’s the more interesting choice. I will give it to Conway though for at least bothering to give us 2 suspects. These days most writers wouldn’t even bother with that and just think they were being subtle when they have Jubilee say shit like “Maybe your human friend wouldn’t like you if she knew you were a mutant!”

On some final notes about the X-Men themselves I feel like there was maybe something more interesting you could’ve done with Jean and Wolverine’s child than what we got with Shine. In her personality and powers she could be any one of the army of Summers/Grey children or any given generic mutant. There is no Wolverine in her to be seen.

That’s not me inherently hating her. She’s just more of a missed opportunity. She was adorable unto herself and even moreso in her relationship with Annie and I hope that gets revisited in consequent issues.

My final little note regarding the X-Men themselves was that I didn’t care for Magneto being mind controlled at the end or his over all plan.

Okay, it’s more like I felt his plan was underdeveloped. Because it’s not that it didn’t make sense because it was literally the same plan from X2: X-Men United. But Conway basically expected you to have just known  that because of the visuals and results of the plan. And for comic book and comic book movie fans like me, sure I know the shorthand but it’s not good storytelling. Similarly Emma Frost shows up at the end, barely talks but just kind of takes over as the main villain when Magneto had been the guy built up in the story and...he, he’s Magneto dude. That’s like having Puppet Master show up towards the end of a story where Doom’s been the main villain and take over.

Also doesn’t his helmet shield him from psychic control? I mean again it’s an AU and I feel like that wasn’t established until way later about Magneto but still.

I also wanna talk about how this arc more than anything else just blows up the continuity between RYV volume 1 and volume 2.

In RYV vol 1 #1 it was a big deal that the X-Men got wiped out by Regent and the implication was that the universe diverged in the early-mid 1990s.

In this arc though it’s made crystal clear that obviously the X-Men are fine and that in this universe (the dumpster fire clusterfuck that was) Civil War 2006 was avoided.

Which is again an example of Conway subtly saying screw you to stuff he doesn’t like but I don’t mind that because yeah screw Civil War it was hot trash. But it does make RYV volume 1 way more confusing in terms of continuity, especially since literally no other post-Secret Wars ongoing series (including X-Men ’92) seemed to radically alter their universe after the event like RYV did.

Honestly I think the only way to have it make sense is to just say RYV volume 2 is an alternate version of the RYV volume 1 characters and that prior to volume 2 a guy called the Regent showed up, stole some people’s powers then Spider-Man and his family stopped him. He didn’t kill anyone, he didn’t take over the world, he wasn’t trying to kill God Emperor Doom or whatever and the world didn’t know who Spider-Man was by the end of it.

This actually jives way better with what Houser would later establish in her run on RYV that Annie isn’t a daughter Peter and MJ had INSTEAD of Mayday, but in fact the daughter they would’ve had if OMD hadn’t fucked everything up. I guess in the RYV universe though Spider-Man never joined the Avengers and fashion was stuck in the 1990s even in the 2000s.

I’m not complaining I’m just trying to get all this stuff straight.

Okay let’s move onto the Parker family.

I loved the payoff to issue #2 with MJ planning a party and it turning out to be for Peter’s birthday. That was the best scene in the whole story. Normal life drama with supporting characters we know and love. This is the heart of Spider-Man! And it came with adorable scenes like Annie confronting the horror of gluten free desserts and acknowledgments of Aunt May and Aunt Anna’s deaths.

The heart of the story was the stuff related to whether Peter and MJ should make Annie stay at the Xavier school or not and the scenes exploring this were really good.

Spider-Man deal with relatively relatable everyday issues and failing that stuff that s clearly allegorical to said issues. In this case Annie’s powers are allegorical to a kid with a disability, special learning issues, or someone with a particular aptitude for learning that would make a normal school more challenging.

Special props goes to Peter relating to how he struggled in school and not wanting that for Annie. In MJ’s case though she wants to keep her daughter close. This makes sense retroactively when you consider she’s already lost one child and if you pretend RYV vol 1 happened then she spent years keeping Annie close out of fear that she died.

Putting those aside though it could be a commentary upon MJ’s own childhood growing up where she was constantly being uprooted and saw her family and her sister’s family fall apart. For MJ it’s likely very important that the family unit stay close together.

Conway’s writing shines because he organically (albeit not as subtly as he could) has them switch positions creating yet more potential conflict and makes sure Annie has her own view on the matter. She likes the school, she likes Shine but she doesn’t want things to change and justifies this in a childish way by making out a popular kid in her school is a bigger deal than she actually is.

My major point of condemnation though is that I feel way more could’ve been done with the premise (e.g. having MJ and Jean connect over super powered kids) than actually was because so much of the plot is dominated by villains invading the Xavier school for the umpteenth time.

Actually goes into two other problems with the arc. This is an incredibly generic X-Men storyline because obviously it’s from a Spider-Man perspective. Like if an X-Men story tried to present a window into the world of Spider-Man it’d be a typical thing about him making rent, working for Jameson and missing a date or whatever. It’s like default setting X-Men and whilst I like that because I miss those days before X-Men became a clusterfuck, it’s not the most compelling main plot in the world.

And honestly it wraps up too quickly and easily, MJ just decks Emma Frost and the story is done. Annie and Peter don’t get involved enough which is weird because isn’t this a team book? I mean as the story highlights it makes Mj look cool but I don’t like doing that at the expense of the other characters.

Now in fairness that might’ve been set up for the next arc, which I know is about MJ becoming Venom. The last page or two of the arc implies this because it features an overtly villainous Liz Allan.

At first I raised my eyebrow at this. Around that same time Liz had been presented as evil in the 616 books and I thought this might’ve been lame out of nowhere synergy.

But in thinking about it, if this really is a Liz Allan who is recently went through the stuff she dealt with in DeMatteis’ Harry Osborn arc from the 1990s (as is the implication) then Liz would be a darker person, would be more hard hearted to protect her son and she wasn’t the nicest person to the Parkers at that time.

Although issue #4 had MJ refer to Normie as creepy implying the Osborns and Parkers generally aren’t all that close in this universe.

Regardless Liz with the Venom symbiote targeting MJ and having the there be an explicit thematic connection between them via their shared motherhood was a darkly delicious moment.

As many mixed feelings as I have for this arc over all I give it a solid B.

*Hence I personally also loved Emma Frost just being a plain villain and getting decked by MJ because I goddam hate Emma Frost I really do.

#Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Spiderling #Anna May Parker #Spinnert #Mary Jane Watson Parker #RYV Thoughts #Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #renew your vows #Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #X-Men #Gerry Conway #Wolverine #ryan stegman #Jean Grey #Jubilee #Magneto #Scott Summers #Professor Xavier #Liz Allan

[red-and-blue-sewer-circus-arc]

Rufo the Clown: Journey pt 7

Warnings: blood, angst, mention of child death

Rufo got out of the car and stepped around to open your door for you, like he always did. You didn't fight or argue with him, instead you took his offered hand and let him pull you from the car. Once out of the car he grabbed you by the upper arm and started to walk you towards the house. You had no idea if he was trying to comfort you or if he was worried you were going to make a run for it.

"I'm sorry" You glanced up at him as he spoke and wondered if he was apologizing for how he spoke to you earlier, or if he was sorry he was leading you to your death. You told yourself that maybe it was for both.

Rufo pulled you towards the door and it opened to reveal an older man. Albert was stocky, with short grey hair and stood, dressed in a flannel shirt and blue jeans. The light from the open doorway cast shadows over the rest of his features hiding them from you. "Ah Cecil" He spoke in a friendly, familiar tone. "I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show up or not." You turned to look at Rufo or Cecil or whatever his name really was as he snarled. "We ran into a few problems."

Albert chuckled and moved out of the way as Rufo pulled you into the house. "I would say so. A burned bar, a trail of bodies across the country, a gas station explosion, cops who's bodies were partially eaten. The same cops who, need I remind you, worked at the exact station printed on the side of the vehicle currently sitting in my driveway. What part of subtle and do not draw attention to yourself did you not understand?"

Rufo ground his teeth and you could see him struggling to control his temper. "She's here, alive, and I made it before the sun rose so how about you cut me some slack Albert." Albert scoffed before finally turning to you. His grey eyes traveled over your body as he took in your condition. You were used to men staring at you, but the way he looked at you.. it wasn't sexual at all, more like he was figuring out where to start cutting. "Well, I suppose you did meet the requirements in the allotted time. I knew there were risks involved and I planned for some extra.. collateral damage when I selected you for this task. Still, I doubt anyone else could have completed this job to my satisfaction. Well done Cecil, you continue to prove your worth." Rufo visibly relaxed. "Thank you Albert."

Albert nodded, his eyes finally found their way to your face and he smiled. It was a smile you assumed all grandfathers had. "Welcome my dear, my name is Albert Miles and I'm sure you have many questions. Before I answer them is there anything I can get you?" Swallowing the lump in your throat, you glanced at Rufo before you answered. "Bathroom" You had to lick your dry lips before you could continue, Rufo hadn't stopped for water or a bathroom break since the gas station. "May I please use your bathroom?" Albert directed you down the hallway and informed you that there was a first aid kit in the cabinet.

You relieved your bladder first, then washed the blood, sweat and old makeup from your face in the sink. After that, you patched the wound on your scalp as best you could with the supplies from the first aid kit. You were bruised, exhausted and barely recognized yourself in the mirror but still, you squared your shoulders and opened the bathroom door. You wanted answers and it was time to get them.

Following the sound of voices, you found Rufo and Albert in the study seated on either side of a large, wooden desk. They both turned to look at you and Rufo gestured towards the chair next to him. You took the offered seat and noticed a cup of hot chocolate on the desk in front of you. "Now, you are probably wondering why I've brought you here." You nodded at Albert as you picked up the cup and took a sip of the pleasantly warm liquid. "The short answer to that question is quite simple. I need your blood."

You stared at him over your cup as Rufo uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. "Her blood? That's it? I could have just brought it to you instead of bringing her along!" Albert shot a look at Rufo and he shut his mouth. "Don't misunderstand my meaning. I need ALL of your blood and I need it to be fresh." You sat down your cup and opened your mouth before closing it again. "But.. why me? Why do you need my blood?" Albert leaned back in his seat and laced his fingers together. "What do you know of your mother?"

"My mother?" You shook your head. "Nothing... she gave me up for adoption as soon as I was born. I was raised by the state." Rufo turned his head and stared at you but you ignored him. Albert nodded. "This may come as a shock to you, but your ancestor on your mother's side was actually a very powerful succubus." "I knew it!" That time you did turn to look at Rufo and his smile quickly fell from his face.

"A succubus?" You stared at Albert with raised eyebrows. "Like a sex demon?" Albert nodded. "Yes, something like that. Although your powers have been dulled through the bloodline they are still there. Think about it. Your mother, too young to have a child but forced to give birth abandons you. You grow up seemingly always drawing the attention of men and are scorned for it. It's no wonder you chose your profession, I imagine the money was more than adequate for your lifestyle. Especially after engaging in sexual intercourse, that's when your powers are at their strongest." You wanted to argue with him, to tell him that was all impossible, but deep down it made sense. The desire for sex, the way you felt after.. even the way men responded to you. He was right.

You gripped the edge of the desk. "But... I still dont understand why you need all of my blood?" Albert held your gaze as he answered. "I need the blood to ink a new spell I've been working on. Your powers, however, are weak and dormant therefore I need a much higher volume." "But.." You looked up as tears formed in your eyes. A spell, you were going to die because he needed to write a spell. "But what if you take the blood, a little at a time until you have..." Albert shook his head and your heart fell. "No, I have to write it in one go, with fresh blood. That's just the way magic works my dear. I am sorry that you have to die." It seemed crazy, but he really did seem sincere. "Well, as long as you are sorry." You didn't try to hide the sarcasm from your voice as you turned away.

Rufo cleared his throat as he looked between you and Albert and you turned your attention back to him. "What if you woke up her powers first?" Albert raised his eyebrow and smirked at him. "Why Cecile, I'm shocked. I told you not to do it.." Rufo frowned behind the clown smile. "Just answer the question Albert, would that work?" Albert narrowed his eyes then shrugged. "In theory it would. But why in the world would I take the time?"

Your mouth dropped open as you stared at him. There was a way for you to survive this but he... he didn't want to take the time to do it? Albert ignored the look you gave him and continued to talk to Rufo. "Time is very important to me Cecil, you know this. I have a window but it is a very small window and I do not want to miss this opportunity." Rufo quickly looked at you from the corner of his eye. "What's it going to cost Albert?"

Albert smiled, almost like he had been waiting for that question and waved his hand. "Oh I don't know, if I awaken her powers I'll be obligated to teach her how to use them and that's just not something I want to deal with right now. Releasing a full powered succubus on the world without any training just seems... irresponsible."

"Irresponsible!" Rufo jumped up from his seat and glared down at Albert. "Irresponsible like leaving that book in that shitty little town by the weird lake?" Albert returned his glare but kept the smile on his face. "I've been alive a long time Cecil, I can't keep track of every single spellbook I've ever had."

Rufo started to pace in front of the desk. "Yeah? And what about that asylum huh? The hunter would have never become a threat again if you hadn't murdered all those babies and left their corpses in the basement! If it wasn't for the hunter, my family, that you are responsible for killing in the first place, would have had another chance at life!" Rufo was almost screaming and Albert's smile quickly dissapeared. "Those matters have already been amended Rufo, so sit down and lower your voice!" Rufo didn't sit down but he did stop pacing and stood in front of Albert. Albert fixed Rufo with a look that made you want to run and hide but Rufo didn't even flinch. "Have you been asking questions about me?"

Rufo held out one of his hands. "I kill people for you Albert. Sometimes they think if they give me unsavory information about my employer I'll go easy on them. I don't, but what kind of an amateur would I be if I let free information slip away?"

Albert chuckled and the tension seemed to ease from the room. Rufo returned to his seat and braced his hands on his knees. "Now, I'll ask again. What's it going to cost me to keep her alive?"

(Next part is the finale)

@booksdragonsdolls @pennytrash @trig-loves-clowning-around @witchyclowngirl @allkundsofwrong @float-me-to-the-moon @pinoflicious @rufotheclown @clumforme @vladsgirl @fugiecakes @claddypenny @sailor-purinsesu-moon @grotesquegabby

#rufo the clown #rufo #rufo x reader #long fic #rufo smut #rufo gore #rufo angst #albert miles