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jazy3 · 3 years

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Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X13

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Oh my gosh! Wow! There’s so much to say about this episode. I'm so glad that Meredith woke up and appears to be on the mend. As much as I loved the beach, I am ready for Meredith to rejoin society and the land of the living and get back to doing what she does best! I'm glad that Meredith got closure and that we as fans got closure too not just with Derek but with George as well. The beach wedding scene was perfect and the dialogue throughout was great.

I laughed out loud multiple times and Meredith and Derek’s scenes were both funny and bittersweet. I particularly liked Meredith and Derek's lines about how Meredith hates weddings, but Ellis hates the Post It Note story and wishes they had a big wedding. That she would give her that big wedding if she could. I felt like she was also saying she would give Derek that big wedding if she could. I also loved their conversation about Amelia. Derek told her what she needed to hear. Sometimes losing someone close to you at a young age makes you stronger and sometimes it turns you into Amelia.

Amelia has grown so much, but she spent most of her life a mentally unstable drug and alcohol addicted mess spiralling out of control in large part because she witnessed the brutal murder of her father at the age of five. And that’s not to say that Derek wasn’t just as screwed up by what happened to their Dad. He like Amelia became a neurosurgeon always chasing the high. He stayed in a loveless marriage he hated and when Addison cheated on him with Mark he moved to Seattle where he pretended to be single and pursued a relationship with Meredith.

Even after he and Meredith got together, he lied and cheated and repeated that pattern over and over again. First with Nurse Rose and then with Renee his research fellow in D.C. Derek could be selfish, cruel, hypocritical, and jealous. While Amelia’s scars and trauma were more obvious and blatant Derek was just as affected as she was it just showed up differently. Derek makes it clear he does not want that for Zola, Bailey, and Ellis and after talking to him Meredith realizes that she doesn’t either.

I loved seeing Meredith talk about how well Amelia is doing and Derek saying, “I know!” From the moment Derek on the beach I had a feeling they were going to talk about Amelia and the kids and all of that and I’m glad they did. One of my favourite moments of the episode was when Meredith told Derek that Ellis hates the Post It Note story and wishes they had a big wedding and Derek said, "She gets that from my mother!" I loved that they showed Ellis’ drawing on the fridge when Maggie is talking to Winston on the phone.

I love that Meredith and Derek got their beach wedding like Derek talked about in Season 5 when he made Meredith a bed in front of the fireplace. She went from never wanting to get married to marrying Derek on a Post It Note, getting legally married at the court house so that they could adopt Zola, and then marrying him on the beach in her COVID dream and giving Derek and Ellis the big wedding he always wanted and the one Ellis dreams of. So beautiful. I’m glad that they got closure and that Meredith decided to go back and that she knows Derek will be waiting for her when she’s ready, when it’s her time. When she’s old and senile and smelly just like they promised.

But now is not that time. She has kids to raise. Patients to treat. Sisters, friends, and family that need her. And a certain Irish doctor who would very much like to take her for a drink once she’s feeling better. I loved that Meredith realized through talking to Derek that even though her body was tired her soul was still fighting and that she needed to go back to her life. I loved her scene with Zola when she woke up and said, "We love you so much," meaning both her and Derek. That Mommy and Daddy love her so much and that’s why Meredith came back. She gave up on an afterlife with Derek to be with her children, friends, and family in the real world. That was so beautiful.

I loved Maggie's talk with Zola. I love that she took what Catherine gave her about screaming out your feelings and used it to help Zola who has been through so much express her emotions in a healthy way. I really felt Zola's heartbreak and how much she missed her Mom and Dad. I'm glad that Maggie decided to take Zola to visit Meredith. It was risky, but it paid off. The set department did a great job with Zola’s room. When she’s sitting on her bed crying you can see the photo of Meredith and Derek holding her at her first birthday party. You can also see a sock monkey that she had at the dream house.

The slop of the roof indicates that her room is in the attic. At last we saw it Lexie was living in there and Mark was visiting her while they were sneaking around, and it was an unfinished space with wood panelling. It appears that since that time as her family expanded Meredith had the attic finished and turned into a proper bedroom for Zola. We don’t know how big the attic is so it’s possible that there are more rooms up there or that there are more rooms upstairs than what we’ve seen.

I'm glad that Derek was there for Meredith in her time of need and helped her find the will to fight even though she was exhausted. I'm interested to see what's next for Meredith. If we'll see her being discharged in the coming weeks or if they will do a time jump. Will we see her at home with the kids first or back at work? Will her and Hayes finally have that drink? If so, how soon? I want to know more! I’m excited to see Maggie tell her about her engagement to Winston and see her meet Winston properly and get to know him. I’m also excited for what I’m sure will be an emotional scene when she thanks Amelia and Link for taking care of her kids while she’s been sick.

I’m also expecting some very emotional scenes with Richard and Bailey. I’m interested to see how they will address DeLuca’s death. I’d also like to see Jackson’s reaction when he returns from his most recent quest and finds out that Meredith has woken up and is doing better. I’d also like to see someone notify Cristina, Alex, Arizona, Callie, and April that Meredith is doing better. I can’t wait to see Hayes’ reaction to finding out that Meredith is on the mend! My heart!

Now let us turn our attention to the other shenanigans that were going on at Grey Sloan Memorial this week while Meredith was busying getting closure with Derek and waking up. We saw Teddy back at work trying her best to move forward. I was glad to see that she found a therapist that works for her even though it has to be virtual due to the pandemic. I'm glad that Owen was there for her. She really needs a friend right now and as Owen said previously, he's well placed to be that person. I like that he backed her up, but also pointed out that she would be destroyed if something went wrong with Meredith. That lead to her paging Winston to scrub in with her which I think was the right call.

I think Owen did the right thing by rejecting her kiss but choosing to stay with her and let her cry and breakdown. She needs the support right now and while I’m not usually an Owen fan I think he did a good job supporting her this episode. I also really felt for him when he lost a patient he thought they were going to be able to discharge and struggled to tell the family. As he says to Teddy, they did this all the time during the way, but this is different. They are losing patients on a level that they’ve never experienced before, and they can’t even take a moment to catch their breath because they have more patients to treat and pronounce.

My heart breaks for the real life doctors and nurses who are dealing with stuff on a daily basis. It’s so hard. On a lighter note, I really loved Amelia and Link's patient storyline this week. It was funny and interesting, and it was great to see Amelia back in the OR. While it was wrong of Amelia to steal Link’s patient and I think she did overstep I understand why she was so eager to get back into the OR and she was right about what was wrong with the guy.

I understood Link’s anger and frustration, but I also appreciated that he understood Amelia and was there to support her and build her up. I like that he brought in Tom and had him on standby, but also showed complete confidence in Amelia. His line about how Amelia always likes to raise the stakes was hilarious and accurate. Another scene I loved was when Amelia and Link were leaving the hospital and Link thought she was using sexual innuendo and then she clarified that she needed to get home because her boobs felt like they were going to burst, and she needed to either pump or breastfeed. That one cracked me up!

We also saw some amazing acting by Caterina Scorsone when upon arriving home and finding Link’s parents looking after Bailey and Ellis, they rushed to the hospital thinking something was wrong with Meredith. Amelia was riding high from the surgery that day and when she thought Meredith had gotten worse, she panicked only to realize that Meredith’s condition hadn’t changed. Her sobbing and desperation as she said over and over again that she really needed Meredith to live were gut wrenching. Caterina did an amazing job.

I also really liked Bailey and Levi’s patient storyline. The peanut butter brittle woman who took up roller skating was the best! She was funny and helped Bailey see that you need to rest and also follow your joy. The scenes where the woman gave Levi the brittle and then he was smelling it made me laugh! As a result of treating that patient Bailey decided to reverse her earlier decision and let Jo switch specialities. While I’m not on board with that storyline I'm glad that Bailey decided to support Jo in following her joy. Making someone stay in a role they don't like will only make them resent you and make everyone involved unhappy.

That being said, I hate this career switching storyline. It’s so dumb. I've realized with this episode that my opinion on this storyline isn't ever going to change. If they use it as a segue for Jo adopting Luna that could be interesting, but watching Jo leave general surgery behind and re-specialize in OBGYN so she can stand on the sidelines while all the other characters do ground breaking work and cool procedures just seems dumb to me. I am not invested in this storyline at all.

Levi and Jo have great comedic timing which was on full display in this episode. Jackson was MIA this episode because he went roaring off on another one of his quests leaving the person he’s dating in the lurch and telling them about it after the fact. He took a leave of absence from work and then left Maggie a voicemail back in Season 15 telling her he needed some time to think and then went camping in the woods to look at trees which lead to him talking to April and texting a woman he met on this trip behind Maggie’s back. He then left her in the fog on a dark road in an area with bears at the end of Season 15.

Now he’s left Jo to go on an unknown quest that’s 11 hours away. When did Jackson become the guy that just vanishes at random to go do whatever the heck he wants? I was surprised that Nico asked Levi to move in with him at the end of the episode. That was not at all the answer that Levi was expecting so I understand why he ran off and said he promised Jo he'd do a movie night with her. Levi wanted to move in with Nico last season and Nico didn't want that, but instead of just saying that outright he dodged the topic and was a real jerk about it. That resulted in them breaking up and Levi moving in with Jo.

They only got back together because of the pandemic and in the intervening time Levi has grown as a person and no longer wants that kind of a relationship with Nico. When he told him that him leaving his bathroom bag at his place didn't mean he was going to move in with him he was being sincere. He just didn't want to have to keep carting his toothbrush back and forth all the time. In response Nico realized he's always running away from what scares him and pushing people away when they get too close and he wants to fix that, so he asked Levi to move in with him.

Therein lies their problem. They're never on the same page. When Levi wanted to move forward and take that next step Nico didn't want to. Now that Nico wants to move forward and take the next step Levi is no longer interested. What a dilemma. I also noticed that Jo and Levi had very similar outfits at the beginning of this episode. You know you’re becoming good friends with someone when you start unconsciously matching outfits.

Onto the next episode’s promo! We see Jackson driving in the rain, showing up on someone’s doorstep talking to himself about how his appearance might seem impulsive, but he has thought it through. The door opens to reveal April who is holding Harriet in between clips of his and April’s relationship. I have a few theories about this. First off, I think they are faking us out. If there was trouble in paradise and things weren’t going well with April and Matthew, they wouldn’t have had Jackson make a comment in the first half of the season about how Matthew is spending more time with Harriet then he and April are because they are taking more COVID shifts.

April is a deeply religious Christian woman whose faith is really important to her. She was vehemently opposed to getting a divorce even though her relationship with Jackson was clearly over because of her faith. Marriage is not something she takes lightly so I have a hard time seeing her divorce Matthew out of the blue because Jackson shows back up and is in crisis when her and Matthew have been together for the past three seasons and have been married for two.

Also, they are raising two children together and co-parenting one of those kids with Jackson. A lot of court services were shut down in the first few months of the pandemic for safety reasons which made it difficult to get a divorce and this episode takes place in June of 2020. So even if April and Matthew split up they couldn’t legally get a divorce very easily at this time and if April and Jackson got back together they would still have to interact with Matthew on a regular basis because they are co-parenting kids together and there’s no way that April would walk away from Ruby.

The only way I could see April and Jackson getting back together is if Matthew has died or fallen ill somehow. Otherwise I just don’t see it. I think they’re faking us out. I think the clips in the promo are there to entice japril fans and play into that because logistically I don’t see how a storyline in which April and Matthew suddenly divorce and April and Jackson get back together in one episode is possible.

Until next time!

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tvandenneagram · 4 years

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Hamilton Enneagram types

I know that this is mainly a TV blog, but I have loved Hamilton ever since it came out and wanted to type the characters since the ‘film’ came out this week 😊

Alexander Hamilton - 3w4 - 1w2 - 7w8

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Hamilton is the archetypal 3, he is obsessed with raising his station and finding success. Hamilton works tirelessly and never ‘takes a break’ which causes problems with his loved ones. He is fixated on creating a legacy and does not want to go back to the poverty of which he came from. Hamilton is assertive and takes every opportunity he has to succeed. He advises Burr that you get nothing if you wait for it and encourages him to stand up for his beliefs. Towards the end of the musical, he has lost his son and his career, making him more unhealthy. During this time he is withdrawn, listless and shows little motivation (disintegrating to 9).

Key lyrics:

“Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm young, scrappy, and hungry. And I'm not throwing away my shot”

“I probably shouldn't brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish”

“Will you relish being a poor man’s wife. Unable to provide for your life?”

“As a kid in the Caribbean I wished for a war. I knew that I was poor. I knew it was the only way to rise up! ... If they tell my story I am either gonna die on the battlefield in glory or rise up!”

Eliza (about Hamilton): “You and your words obsessed with your legacy. Your sentences border on senseless. And you are paranoid in every paragraph how they perceive you”

Aaron Burr - 9w1 - 3w2 - 5w6

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Burr always keeps his stances on different issues ‘close to his chest’ because he doesn’t want to say something that can be used against him. He does have values and feelings, he just isn’t open with his feelings and doesn’t say anything to keep the peace. In the later part of the play, Burr begins to show his ambition more openly and begins to campaign for president. He starts to take more initiative and tries to be more like Hamilton and take what he wants rather than ‘waiting for it’. As Burr gets into the lower levels of health, he becomes paranoid like a 6 as we can see in “The Room Where It Happens.” When Hamilton supports Jefferson for the presidency, Burr becomes vengeful and challenges Hamilton to a duel. He does not understand why Hamilton would support his enemy over his friend, when all Burr is trying to do is take Hamilton’s advice. Burr is ultimately very jealous of Hamilton, as he believes that Hamilton gets everything he wants by taking it. Burr’s style of lying in wait directly contrasts Hamilton’s more assertive nature and deep down he wishes he was more like Hamilton.

Key Lyrics:

“I'm not standing still, I am lying in wait”

“Talk less. Smile more. Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for”

“What is it like in his shoes? Hamilton doesn't hesitate. He exhibits no restraint. He takes and he takes and he takes and he keeps winning anyway.”

“I’ll keep all my plans close to my chest (wait for it, wait for it). I’ll wait here and see which way the wind will blow. I’m taking my time watching the afterbirth of the nation, watching the tension grow”

“I am slow to anger, but I toe the line as I reckon with the effects of your life on mine”

“I wanna be in the room where it happens”

Eliza Schuyler - 9w1 - 2w1 - 6w7

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Eliza is kind-hearted, caring and naive. She is shy, but she is fiercely loyal to her loved ones. She has a tendency to go with the flow and is very easily influenced. Eliza is deeply trusting and tends to take what Hamilton says at face value. It seems that she is naive to Hamilton’s intentions to raise his station and to his later affair. She is helpless when it comes to Hamilton and hangs on his every word. Eliza wants Hamilton to give her more attention and show her more affection. She wants to show him that there is more to life than creating a legacy. Eliza is very forgiving and when their son dies, she shows Hamilton the ultimate compassion by forgiving him. In her later life she becomes more of an activist and speaks out against slavery as well as establishing an orphanage to help children.

Key lyrics:

“I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight”

“I'm erasing myself from the narrative. Let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted when you broke her heart”

“We don’t need a legacy. We don’t need money. If I could grant you peace of mind. If you could let me inside your heart…”

“I stop wasting time on tears I live another fifty years It’s not enough”

Angelica (about Eliza): “I know my sister like I know my own mind. You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind”

Angelica (about Eliza): “ If I tell her that I love him she’d be silently resigned. He’d be mine. She would say, “I’m fine”. She’d be lying.”

Company: “Forgiveness. Can you imagine?”

Angelica Schuyler: 6w7 - 1w2 - 2w3

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Angelica was very hard to type, we were stuck between 1 and 6 because she is very, very compliant. One of her defining characteristics is her self-sacrificing nature and devotion to her sister. Angelica values duty and tries to do what is right for her family. When she meets Hamilton, she is able to correctly deduce that he wants to be with her because of her family’s social status. Despite feeling an instant attraction to him, she sets him up with Eliza instead because (as the oldest) she has to fulfill her father’s expectations and marry into society. Angelica is also extremely loyal to Eliza and her family, as most of her actions are in service to them. When she returns from London, she reacts aggressively to Hamilton as he betrayed Eliza.

Key Lyrics:

“I’m a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich. My father has no sons so I’m the one who has to social climb for one”

“He’s after me cos I’m a Schuyler sister. That elevates his status, I’d have to be naive to set that aside”

“In a letter I received from you two weeks ago I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase. It changed the meaning. Did you intend this?”

“Some men say that I’m intense or I’m insane. You want a revolution? I want a revelation - so listen to my declaration”

“And when I meet Thomas Jefferson Imma compel him to include women in the sequel”

George Washington - 1w9 - 6w7 - 3w2

Washington has very strong principles which manifest in his efforts for the revolution. He has a tendency to dwell on his past mistakes and feels deep shame over them. Washington takes Hamilton under his wing and wants to show him the wisdom that he has learned throughout his life. He remains true to his convictions and fights for what he believes in. Washington abdicates his presidency because he knows that it is the right thing for the nation. He understands that for the nation to move forward there needs to be different leaders and viewpoints. Washington wants his address to inform of the wisdom he gained from leading the country and help advise America’s future leaders.

Key lyrics:

“I made every mistake. I felt the shame rise in me and even now I lie awake knowing history has its eyes on me”

“Dying is easy, young man. Living is harder”

“Pick up a pen, start writing. I wanna talk about what I have learned. The hard-won wisdom I have earned”

“Can I be real a second? For just a millisecond? Let down my guard and tell the people how I feel a second? Now I’m the model of a modern major general the venerated Virginian veteran whose men are all lining up, to put me up on a pedestal, writin’ letters to relatives, embellishin’ my elegance and eloquence”

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lordjohntheshow · 5 years

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John Grey and his boyfriend Stephan Namzten have a great life (and now three dogs) and are considering taking the next big step: marriage and children. Complications arise. This is a Modern AU set in 2019.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

VANITY FAIR, November 2017

A FAMILY AFFAIR

An excerpt from the actor’s forthcoming memoir WILD NIGHTS chronicling his early years growing up to his days as a struggling actor. In anticipation of the Royal Wedding enjoy his take on a wedding among Britain’s upper crust.

By: Percy Wainwright

Imagine my surprise when my stepfather George invited me to his third wedding, in London. He wanted me there with him as he took on his new life and invited me out for the “whole season”. I took one look around my tiny, non air conditioned studio apartment in the Valley and knew I had no other choice. Within 24 hours I was touching down in Heathrow. I wondered a little about why George invited me, but in a small way it made sense: he had no real family himself and didn’t want to feel left out. He let me have the use of his apartment- or “flat” as I learned to call it, having already moved in with his bride to be.

I then did what any self-respecting 22 year old with a large, empty apartment, an allowance, and too much free time would do. I went clubbing. That’s how I first met Kay*. It was sometime past midnight, and the DJ was trying out some experimental trance pop. I saw him before he saw me. He was small, but he didn’t have that obnoxious edge some short men get. Cute blonde hair a shade most boys grow out of. Muscular, but the white shirt and jeans he wore showed he didn’t really care about his appearance. He glided through the crowd, disappearing in the back room for a moment. I lost track of him until I saw him cut through the dance floor to leave. On a whim, I grabbed his hand and kissed it. He looked up at me and laughed, crinkling a pair of baby blues that would have made Paul Newman jealous. I pulled him to me, like he was water in the desert. The music was too loud to have a coherent conversation, but neither of us wanted one.

After three or so songs (who can really tell with electronica?) he was pressing me up against the wall outside the bathroom, kissing my lips, my neck, as if he wanted to swallow me whole. In fifteen or so minutes we were in my flat and I was flat on my back. When I woke up the next morning alone in that big bed, I actually laughed- I’m usually the one that leaves them high and dry.

I still went clubbing, but I didn’t see my blonde boy again. Four weeks before the wedding George invited me out to a dinner with the family. “They’re gentry, you know. You don’t have to bow or anything, but do you know the proper forms of address?” He’d asked me nervously, in the taxi on the way over. “Um.. milord and milady?” I’d said, trying to remember what I’d learned from my days of getting high and watching Downton Abbey. He sighed. “They’ll just think you’re an uncouth American, it will be fine.” He’d huffed in reply. It was cute, to see him so nervous to make a good impression.

How to describe the family. Everyone looked like one of those paparazzi pictures of the royal family on their time off: trying to look normal in jeans and a sweater but the outfit still cost 700 pounds. I suppose I’m not one to talk though, my style’s always been very Gucci via Goodwill.

My new stepmother’s flat also had that rich, lived in feel. There was a couch from 1972 next to what I’m fairly sure was a pair of original Chippendale settee chairs. Every flat surface or shelf was covered by books: leather bound ones in the library and slick, glossy ones in all of the real living areas. Yes, you read that right: this was an apartment. With a library.

We all sat down to drinks in the living room. I chose one of the Chippendales, of course. An actual butler took my drink order. Once everyone was arrayed and properly lubricated, the true conversation began. The son who was obviously serving as Head of the Family grilled me and George about our jobs, hobbies, acquaintances, and was probably about to start on what petty misdemeanors we’d committed when his wife patted his arm and started a real conversation instead of a background check. It was boring, but I was surprised to find I was enjoying myself. Mostly I was enjoying what I am dead certain were a pair of original Degas’ ballerina studies.

Nearly an hour in I was shocked out of my art appreciation when my own tiny dancer walked in. He was out of breath, dressed for work (a boring navy suit, so a professional of some type, I noted), and apologizing profusely, to his mother, his soon to be stepfather, his annoyed brother, and then his gaze fell on me. I’ll say this about him: I’d never want to play poker against him. There’s not a man alive better at controlling his face. For a moment I was certain he didn’t remember me (I mean, I was in a clean cut Oxford, not the neon green mesh tank he’d last seen me in.)

“Hello. You must be Percy. I’m Kay.” He said, warmly, holding out his hand for me to shake. The look he gave me, and only me, had so much heat I thought I was back in L.A.

He sat across from me when we moved to dinner, and chatted politely. I was annoyed to find someone so handsome was also smart, and funny, and kind, especially to his mother and my stepfather. Yet, when he raised his brows to me at the end of dinner- a challenge, and invitation- I was all mush.

The next four weeks went by quickly- too quickly. All the pomp and nonsense of what American hetero weddings have become pales in comparison to An English Society Wedding. There were morning suit fittings, tux fittings, and even normal suit fittings, to make sure I wouldn’t be looked at some poor American cousin. Forget a bridal shower at some swanky country club. There were at least three engagement parties, a trip to the Queen Anne Enclosure of the Royal Ascot (requiring another suit), and multiple days involving skiffs, yachts, polo ponies, and cricket. I was game: it was like being stuck in some specialty park at Disneyworld, and I love to learn the rules so I can break them. Here were a few I discovered:

-You can’t ask people where they go on vacation. You ask them where they summer, or winter, or, for the younger, sportier ones, where they ski.

-An American accent threw them, especially when I turned on the Southern drawl I usually kept safely packed away. If I wasn’t from Newport, or Vail, or New York, I was no one of importance.

-No one ever discussed money, but every conversation was about it: where children were going to school, what new homes or paintings were being purchased, who had just closed what deal.

-And unlike in L.A., where everyone bedecked themselves in the latest runway looks, here you often learned the richest people also had the oldest clothes. The Princess Royal attended one of these parties in a dress she’d had since 1983. I know the year because I asked her.

By the time the wedding rolled around, part of me was ready to go back to the plastic sheen and bounce of Los Angeles. Other parts of me, like my heart, wanted to stay in this weird world forever, because it’s where Kay was. If this world was a weird Disneyworld, than I was its Cinderella. I’d been scraping things together for so long, spent so many nights wondering where the money was going to come from, how I was going to eat, I cannot explain the relief of having that disappear. Of having someone ready to pick up the check like nothing- and unlike a lot of the men I’d slept with, not expecting a quid pro quo.

Kay and I spent a few weeks before we even had sex again- he was busy, and I was being pulled along to every wedding event anyone could possibly imagine. It’s the stolen moments I remember the most. The way his breath hitched when he saw me partially undressed during our tux fitting. How he always made sure I had what I wanted to drink, no matter the party we were at. When his hand brushed mine and we hooked our pinkies together, walking down this hallway or that. And the night we were finally together again: breathing our secrets together in the dark.

I told him I loved him. I didn’t actually say “I love you”, I’m not an idiot. I told him “I’ve never felt this close to someone,” and that “I’ve told you things… I’ve never told anyone before” and “I know this must sound strange.” He soaked it up, and looked at me, those blue eyes full of affection, rubbed my arm. “I care deeply for you, Percy. My heart… I think someone else has that. I can give you everything else.” He said it like he’d pried it out of himself… carefully and painfully.

I wish everything had been enough for me.

The summer swept along, and suddenly it was the day I’d come for all along: the wedding. It was held in a quaint village in a “small, country chapel” that sat the two hundred guests with ease. The interior looked like a florist’s shop the night before Mother’s Day. (Kay’s big brother had to take at least three puffs from his inhaler and everyone had to pretend they didn’t notice it happening.) All the women were arrayed in pastels, or florals, most looking ten years older than they actually were in the severe, pinned up styles the occasion demanded. One of the coach horses ate the fascinator Kay’s girl cousin had talked about incessantly over the summer. But seeing my stepfather trip over his words, bursting with happiness at his new life and new wife was truly one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. In short, it was a perfect family wedding.

And then it was over. They were off on their honeymoon, backpacking in East Asia as if they were 22 and not 62. I’d seen my stepfather off. I knew he would always be part of my life, but that I wasn’t meant to live in his. I finally understood why they call it a flat: that’s all I felt walking around that apartment.

I wanted Kay to say: “I love you. Move in with me. Marry me, when it’s finally legal.” He didn’t. He was still caring, and attentive, and sweet, but we never talked about love or a future. Maybe that’s why I invited the Swede back to the flat on the last night before I left. Why I forgot that Kay was coming over to cook me a farewell dinner. Why I didn’t lock the door.

Turns out, he’s not as good as a poker player as I’d thought. I saw it all. Shock, dismay, pain, but never the anger. He left, never saying a word.

It wasn’t until the next day, somewhere 10,000 feet above Chicago, my suitcase full of a bunch of fancy clothes I’d wear only to auditions that I realized he always got quiet when he was angry.

*names, dates, and details have been altered to protect the innocent

#writing percy is hilariously fun #outlander fanfiction #outlander rarepair #john/stephan #john/percy #lord john grey #outlander modern au #percy wainwright #percy beauchamp

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authormitchel-blog · 6 years

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GOF: Part 13

Throughout his life, Harry had woken up to quite unsettling and unusual things. Aunt Petunia in her rollers and green face cream, Percy’s bottoms on top of his face as he ran around Ron’s room chasing his Prefect’s Badge as Fred and George had enchanted it to fly away at his touch, Goyle’s bare chest every morning since he started getting chest hair, so Dobby’s big eyes almost didn’t scare him out of his seat. Almost.

He had fallen asleep in the library, his invisibility cloak slipping off him some time during the night.

“Harry Potter needs to hurry!” squeaked Dobby. “The second task starts in ten minutes and Harry Potter….”

“Ten minutes?” Harry croaked. “Ten….ten minutes.”

“Harry, Harry Potter,” squeaked Dobby, plucking at Harry’s sleeve. “You is supposed to be down by the lake with the other champions, sir!”

“I can’t. It’s too late, Dobby,” Harry moaned hopelessly. “I don’t know….”

“Harry Potter will do the task!” squealed the elf. “Dobby knew Harry Potter had not found the right book so Dobby did it for him.”

“What?” said Harry. “How?”

Dobby thrust something into his hand.

“You has to eat this, sir,” squeaked the elf. It looked like slimy, grayish green rat tails.

“Eat this right before you go into the lake, sir…..it’s gillyweed! It will make Harry Potter breathe underwater, sir!”

Thoughts of the last time Dobby tried to help him ran through his mind.

“Dobby, are you sure about this?”

Dobby nods solemnly.

“Dobby is quite sure, sir!”

And since Harry had no choice. He accepted it.

“Thanks, Dobby,” Harry said with a broad smile.

“Dobby will be missed….good luck, Harry Potter, sir, good luck!”

Harry made it to the lake just in time to be scolded by Percy Weasley.

“Where have you been? The tasks about to start!”

He was sitting at the judges’ table, Mr. Crouch had failed to turn up again.

“Now, now, Percy, let him catch his breath!” said Mr. Bagman.

Then after assuring him that Harry really did have a plan. Bagman announced the task.

“All of you champions are here, and are ready for the second task, which will start on my whistle. It is easy and admirable to save and love what is natural to us, but difficult and even more admirable to accept the traits in others that confuse and challenge us. Champions find the thing you despise the most and embrace your envy. On the count of three. One, Two, Three!”

The whistle sounded, Harry pulled the handful of gillyweed from his pocket, toasted Dobby, stuffed it in his mouth, and jumped into the lake.

Harry thought he was drowning. The gillyweed hadn’t worked. He opened his mouth to scream as he felt a slicing pain on each side of his neck.

Harry felt his neck….he had gills? Great, Dobby had turned him into a merman. He hoped they would fade in the hour or else Harry was going to have to get quite cozy with the giant squid. Fred and George had always said he could be a tad prickly.

Small fish zoomed past him like silver darts. Dark shapes flirted just outside his vision. Harry swam past seaweed and large rocks that turned into caves and a ….village. The merfolk looked nothing like the image in the Prefect’s bathroom mirror, but had greyish skin and wild green hair. They blended in so well, Harry wondered how he had noticed them at all. In the center of their town rose a crude sort of statue; a gigantic merperson hewn from a large boulder.

Four people were tied tightly to it’s tail. Ely McGovern, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, and Hermione Granger.

Bagman had said who you despise the most, what you envy, the clue was what you’d never miss. Harry immediately swam towards Draco, but then thought who did Ely belong to? Surely Fleur and Krum wouldn’t have cause to envy or despise Ely. Harry doubted they really knew him, but as Harry swam to look at Ely. Cassius Warrington swam right beside him. Some sort of bubble was wrapped around his face. But Harry could see his face clearly. He stared at Ely in what could only be seen as horror.

And Harry knew that it wasn’t Ely that he was taking back up to the surface. Harry drew his wand and sent a burst of fire toward the rope that held Draco to the statue, grabbed the prat by the arm and tugged him toward the surface, leaving Warrington behind him.

When they popped to the surface Malfoy woke out of whatever state he had been placed under and instantly started screaming that Harry was attempting to drown him.

“I’m trying to save you, you prat!”

Harry was announced as being the first to complete the task as he dragged Malfoy to the platform. A towel was tossed over his shoulders as an eager and lost looking Crabbe and Goyle told Draco about the clue?

“Aw, ack… Potter…I never…kkknew…you admireddd meee so…” Malfoy carried on despite his shivering.

Harry could barely roll his eyes he was so cold.

Thankfully someone thought to cast a warming charm over the platform that they were on. The way Malfoy looked you would have thought they did it just for him.

“Ever want a repe….”

“No,” Harry said, stopping the boy from discussing anything that had happened in that bathroom. Harry certainly wasn’t thinking about it, no, definitely not.

In quick succession, Hermione and Fleur broke the water and then Viktor and Blaise. The two champions were only a few seconds apart, but Cassius was still under the water. The look on Fleur’s face as she stared down at the murky water hinted that the witch knew why Warrington was yet to finish.

Then Warrington and Ely’s head popped above the water. Cassius seemed to cradle his boyfriend as the two made their way to the platform. Ely was enjoying the attention, allowing Cassius to garner the cheers of the crowd for saving him. Cassius helped Ely on to the platform and the Slytherin boy took a deep nod toward the people.

“Well done, all of you,” Bagman’s voice boomed from the crowd.

“Alas, the task is not over. Each of the champions must confront the object of their envy, the vessel of their distaste for the only way to overcome an obstacle is to face it.”

Viktor held out his hand for a shivering Blaise and the two moved off into a secluded corner. Harry watched for a moment in case Blaise needed him, but in a matter of moments Blaise was laughing at something that Krum had said. And Krum seemed to be blushing. Some of the other Durmstrang students fought to hear what the pair were saying, but neither seemed to care.

“I do not hate you,” Fleur said near Harry’s ear. But she wasn’t talking to him, she was addressing Hermione.

“I envy you.” The blonde part veela was soaked to her skin, her wet hair plastered to her skull, and yet she still looked enthralling.

“What?” spluttered a recovering Draco Malfoy before Hermione had a chance to say anything.

“You’re jealous of this mudblood?”

Fleur turned sharply in Malfoy’s direction.

“I don’t know what that word means, but I do know that she is far better a wizard than you. It was like dancing with a piece of bamboo. Not to mention trying to talk with one.”

Malfoy scoffed. But Fleur continued.

“She is strong and independent. She is smart and doesn’t care to cover it up. She doesn’t hide herself from others like I do.”

“And you,” she turned on Malfoy.

Hermione looked at her.

“But you’re a champion?”

“Yes,” said Fleur. “But several Beauxbatons students believe that a woman’s place is secondary to their husbands. Ruthlessness is not an attriubute that we are taught to strive for. Intelligence is neglected in favor of more aesthetical charms. But you,” she turned to face Hermione.

“But you have no fear in being the one who stands on her own. And that is why I envy you, that is why I despised you without knowing.”

“But, France is full of independent women, most of the queens took a quite active role in the making of society and even modern culture.”

As Hermione pulled Fleur to the side to educate the girl on her own fierceness it suddenly made sense to Harry. The girls who had cried and balked when Fleur had made champion. The looks from the people when Fleur was at the ball dancing with more than one person before she quickly peeled off to give attention to just the one.

Harry could see how even a girl who seemed to have it all like Fleur would envy his friend. Hermione was a force to be reckoned with. She knew it, and she made sure that others knew it too.

Malfoy having recovered from Fleur’s verbal beat down turned to Harry.

“Anything you’d like to say to me Potter? I can list at least several things that I have that you would be jealous about. My confident personality,”

“Cocky,” Harry supplied.

“My handsome looks,”

“Protruding cheekbones,” Harry corrected.

Draco stopped. “That’s a compliment, Potter.”

Harry ignored that one.

“Mother always does say that us Malfoy’s have exceptional bone struct….”

“It’s that!” Harry said. He hated himself for raising his voice, but Malfoy always did get the better out of him.

“It’s the fact that you have a family that loves you, and that supports you!” Harry shouted. The whole platform now had eyes for the pair. “It’s that you got to be raised by a mother and father who loved you and who wanted you. Yes, maybe they spoiled you into the little rat that you are today, but at least you have them.”

Malfoy looked stunned.

“I envy that you have that, but I also despise you because all that love seems to have been wasted.”

Harry stood from the platform, prepared to make a grand exit when Ely McGovern and Cassius Warrington knocked into his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me,” Ely hissed. “I can’t believe this.”

“Ely, wait, it’s not like that.”

Ely turned on him, his blonde hair disheveled but still nicer than Harry’s ever is.

“I heard what the man said, Cass. Am I what you hate? Really? Am I something that you would never miss? Am I the thing that you despise the most?”

“No, no, E, let me explain. You just have to listen to me.”

Ely laughed cruelly. “Actually, I don’t.”

He turned and jumped in the water as graceful as could be. His body barely made a splash as he swam towards the shore faster than Harry thought possible. And without hesitation, Cassius jumped in after him. But he wasn’t fast enough. Ely was already to the shore by the time Cassius was almost halfway. Harry watched as Ely walked up on the shore and headed toward the castle. The Slytherins around Harry gave each other a look. This was something that couldn’t be missed.

The scores were announced as soon as Ely hit the water, each of the champions having completed their tasks of facing their envy and in Harry’s case his enemy. Millicent pulled his arm and the two got on one of the first boats back to the castle, Malfoy far from his mind.

The other Slytherins looked eagerly toward the castle. If there was one thing that Slytherins loved more than the possibility of watching people nearly drown to death it was drama. And that’s exactly what they were due for in their common room. Ely McGovern would go no where looking like he did now, and both were too proud and too involved to let this go that easily so Harry walked steadily toward the castle.

To anyone else it would have looked like the horde of students were just returning to their rooms eager to get close to the fireplace. But as Tracey Davis nudged Millicent in comradery Harry knew there was something in the air.

Someone whispered the word to the common room, and they were let in.

Ely McGovern was standing the middle of the common room, dripping water on to the carpet from his clothes. Cassius stood in front of him.

“Please, Ely, you know it isn’t like that.”

“Then explain it to me, Cass, because that’s not what it seems like. It seems like you have been lying to me all this time, and that I don’t mean as much to you as you.”

“Of course you do, it’s not just that…it’s just…”

“Just what, Cass?”

“That you’re so free with it,” Warrington mumbled.

“Free with what?” Ely asked. “I don’t understand.”

Cassius sighed. Neither boy seemed to be conscious of the crowd that had gathered around them.

“With us, with being who are, with not having the expectations of a father who refuses to acknowledge anything that his son tells him.”

Ely seemed to drop his guard.

“I know how your father is Cass.”

“Yeah, but did you know he’s literally been counting down the days until I leave Hogwarts.”

Ely’s eyebrows scrunched together. Then recognition.

“He’s been counting down the days that you leave me.”

Warrington nods.

“He doesn’t think that we’re going to make it. He thinks I’m just going to lay down and join him at the ministry. And I’ve never once told him no. I’ve never told him that it’s not going to happen. I’ve never told him that I wasn’t going to join the ministry or marry a nice pureblood witch. I’ve never told him that I want to live my own life, but I know that you would. You have no issues in being exactly who you are, and I can’t even tell my own father the truth when he’s throwing lies in my face.”

Suddenly, Harry feels like he is intruding on a very personal moment. He feels sick with it. But just when he thinks that the pair are going to launch into another tirade. Ely crossed the room and kisses Cassius in front of everyone.

“This,” Ely says when he pulls back. “This is who you are, Cass. And I don’t give a damn about your father or about what he thinks because I see you. And while he may doubt the kind of man that you are, I don’t.”

Harry was warmed by the conviction in Ely’s words. He could only wonder what the effect they had on Warrington was. But as Ely took Warrington’s hands they seemed to become aware of everyone else in the room, and Ely dismissed them with a cool look.

“Enjoy the show, kiddies?” he taunted. And the people in the room disassemble like they just hadn’t been watching the whole thing at all.

#Harry Potter #Slytherin!Harry #Slytherin Harry #Harry Potter rewrite #Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire #Harry Potter and the goblet of fire rewrite

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ericvick · 3 years

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This election 'will determine the destiny of our nation': Reverend Willie Bodrick, II

Reverend Willie Bodrick, II joined Yahoo Finance to discuss his thoughts on the upcoming Presidential election and what it means for the future of the country.

Video Transcript

SIBILE MARCELLUS: Welcome back to “2020, A Time for Change.” I’m Sibile Marcellus. Both President Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden say they’re fighting for the very character and future of this nation. But what does saving America look like once the smoke clears after November 3? Where does that leave the millions of Americans who lost their jobs as a result of the coronavirus pandemic and still can’t find work?

Joining us now is Reverend Willie Bodrick. He is a senior pastor at the 12th Baptist Church Historic in Massachusetts. Now Reverend, you are deeply involved in this election. You’re a senior advisor to Massachusetts Senator Ed Markey, who’s up for re-election. Should Americans vote with their wallets? And who would help us get a faster economic recovery, President Trump or Joe Biden?

WILLIE BODRICK, II: Well, thank you for having me. And I think Americans should not just vote with their wallets, but they should be voting with their hearts, with their conscience. It was John Lewis who said that the vote is the most powerful nonviolent change event that you– that we have in our democratic society. And this election, I really do believe, will determine the destiny of our nation.

And this could be the difference for so many, as we know, between life and death. There’s no joking about this matter because 9 million people, to this point, have contracted COVID-19. 228,000 people have lost their lives. And their families will never be able to see them again. And disproportionately, Black, brown, and low income communities have felt the brunt of this.

And so I think we have to also not only think about what’s happening with us economically, but what we’re doing each and every day as we live in community with one another. And I believe that is what’s going to be most important. I believe Joe Biden does have the best plan moving forward to make sure that we are getting back on the right track.

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But I think it goes beyond economics. We’re talking about economics, but we’re also talking about healthcare. We’re also talking about the environment. We’re also dealing with so many issues as it relates to state action violence against Black bodies. And so I think Americans are going to the voting booth. They’re thinking critically more so about every aspect of their life, and not just their wallets when they go in.

SIBILE MARCELLUS: In a June radio interview, you said that the country needs to repent. And you said this around the time that there were George Floyd protests happening in Boston. Is it your belief that President Trump or Joe Biden needs to repent?

WILLIE BODRICK, II: Well, I think all of– America needs to repent. I mean, when I said that in that interview, I meant seriously that we have continued a cycle of violence against Black bodies. And this is rooted in what I believe is systemic racism. And I think both the president, who has continued to stoke the racial climate in this country, and even Joe Biden, who has admittedly said that, you know, there were some things that he’s made mistakes on.

And so, as a Christian, as a pastor, I believe that the first step of becoming whole again is repentance, acknowledging and introspectively looking at what you’ve done and being able to step forward. So that we don’t have, like we just saw in Philadelphia, the Walter Wallace, Jr, situations and we don’t have George Floyd’s and Breonna Taylor’s. And we can actually move towards healing this nation.

I believe that though both– and they need to repent and this country needs to repent for the sins against those Black bodies and other bodies in this country who have not been able to be healed and brought forward to a fullness of the Americanness that we all are striving towards.

I deeply believe that right now, we are seeing the racial flames stoked again by our president. And I think that has added to the reasons why people are turning out. Some 85 million people have already voted. And they’ve stepped up, firm, knowing that they’ve made a decision. And we’re praying that we can step closer towards unity when we need it most.

JEN ROGERS: When you talk about those voter turnout numbers, and earlier, we had Ben Jealous talking about registering voters, and especially Black men, to get to the polls, and to hear you talking about the president turning people out right now with the flames being stoked, maybe that can happen. What happens in 2021? What happens in 2022? Do you think these voters will continue to come back? Or is this just a vote against President Trump?

WILLIE BODRICK, II: Well, we know that there’s been an ebb and a flow. I mean, I think we can’t have this conversation seriously without having a conversation around voter suppression writ large. Since the 15th Amendment in this country was granted to Black people the right to vote, what we know very critically is that there’s been a constant attack on Black voting efforts historically.

We also know that our foremothers and forefathers fought fervently to ensure that the Voting Rights Act was there in 1965 and it was passed. But even now that is under attack. And so I think that voters will turn out. People will see their real lived experiences.

But we also must acknowledge that there are tactics that are continually affecting the voter turnout in many communities, particularly in communities of color. We have to deal with not only just the international interference that we’re seeing in our elections, but we’re also talking about misinformation. We’re talking about gerrymandered districts. We’re talking about automatic voting purges. And we’re talking about voter ID requirements and barriers for those brothers and sisters that are returning citizens from incarceration.

So there are a lot of issues that we must address. I don’t think that this is just a flash in the pan. I really do believe that voters are tuned in. And this pandemic has done something very interesting. It has really focused us to really look at what really matters. Who are the people who are being most affected? This really lifted the veil off of those pre-existing systemic conditions that we know that we have already been there pre-COVID for many Black and brown communities.

And so I think 2020 is just a sign that we are going to see a more engaged voter base and a more engaged populace. And we’re going to continue to keep doing that work in churches and our communal organizations, advocating for the right to vote for each and every person.

SIBILE MARCELLUS: Well, America is definitely watching and can’t wait for Election Day and see who wins. Reverend Willie Bodrick of 12th Baptist Church in Massachusetts, thanks so much.

WILLIE BODRICK, II: Thank you very much for having me.

#Bodrick #destiny #determine #election #nation #Reverend #Willie

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qqueenofhades · 6 years

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You're going to think I'm such a weirdo because you're my go-to person for whether particular British monarchs were gay, but I have another question along those lines. Was Queen Anne in a lesbian relationship with Sarah Churchill? And if not, was she gay? I read one book that explained she wasn't "because she hadn't heard of it." Needless to say, I didn't finish it.

Ahaha. We’ve all gotta be known for something, right?

Short answers to both your questions: No and no, but also in both cases sorta, and which reflects a really fascinating entry point into a discussion of the female side of seventeenth/eighteenth-century LGBT culture. (Seriously, guys, the eighteenth century was HELLA GAY. I’ve written about the male side of it, but there is just as much or more to look at from the female. It’s also why you should continue to laugh at Certain Unnamed Persons telling you gay people did not exist before the 1960s.)

Anyway, so, Anne. As girls, both she and her sister Mary (the future Queen Mary II) had a passionate attachment to an older woman, Frances Apsley, and wrote letters to her that reflect this romantic imagining. (p.1648-49). The thirteen-year-old Mary addressed the twenty-two-year-old Frances as “my dearest dear husband” and called herself “your faithful wife, loyal to your bed […] how I dote on you, oh I am in raptures of sweet amaze, when I think of you I am in ecstasy.” In fact, when Anne began her own correspondence with Frances, Mary was jealous of her/seemed to have viewed her sister as a romantic rival for Frances’ affections. In their letters, Anne cast herself and Frances as star-crossed lovers from the play Mithridates, and there was an atmosphere of unabashed hedonism and sexual liberty at the Restoration court of Charles II. The girls were mostly kept away from this, but there were plenty of plays, novels, etc that centered around themes of female same-sex desire. Eighteenth-century English literature (see p. 261-62) had all kinds of exploration of it, and indeed reflects a vernacular for LGBT relationships arguably more detailed than what we have today (if by nature pejorative): “sodomite” and “molly” were the terms for the active and passive partner in a male homosexual relationship, and “sapphic” and “tommy” were the equivalents for a female homosexual relationship. (But of course, I forgot, we didn’t have LGBT people before the 1960s.)

What Valerie Traub calls “the renaissance of lesbianism in early modern England” wasn’t just a literary phenomenon either. The habit of women sharing beds at all level of society, from working class to noblewomen, and the usually all-female social circle of young women offered a convenient environment for practical explorations of the kind of passionate desire seen above. At least one contemporary commentator had no problem with it (see p. 54) and viewed it in pragmatic terms:

Calling himself “neither their censor nor their husband,” Brantôme maintains that “unmarried girls and widows may be excused for liking such frivolous and vain pleasures and preferring to give themselves to each other thus and so get rid of their heat than to resort to men and be put in the family way and dishonored by them, or to have to get rid of their fruit.” As for the homoerotic exploits of married women: “the men are not cuckolded by it.”

In other words, female same-sex activity might not be optimal, but it’s essentially harmless, preferable to unwanted pregnancies, illicit abortions, or the spoiling of marriage prospects. And since everyone knows (according to bountiful eighteenth-century medical wisdom) that women are “hot” and need to relieve their humors with sex, lesbianism (though it wasn’t yet called that) was fine as an option. This of course was not the only view on it, but it does absolutely make it the case that yes, Anne (and other women of her class and era) would have heard of it. (Seriously, do these Str8 Historians just… assume that nobody ever mentioned same-sex relations/desire/literature, because gay people are “so modern” or… what? I’m baffled. On that note, Emma Donoghue’s “Passions Between Women: British Lesbian Culture 1668-1801″ is also a recommended read.)

Anyway, back to Anne and Mary themselves. It’s highly unlikely that their ardor toward Frances Apsley ever went beyond letters, and Mary did not have another relationship with a woman of the same intensity; after a very rocky start to her 1677 marriage to William of Orange, she fell quickly in love with him and devoted herself to him. However, Anne continued to have the same sort of passionate attachments to women, including that to Sarah Jennings, later Lady Churchill, the Duchess of Marlborough. Sarah is a fascinating historical lady for many reasons, and through her relationship with Anne over several decades, was able to exert considerable influence and prestige. She was a strong-willed, well educated, politically ambitious, and formidable woman, and I think the assessment of her relationship with Anne in the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography (login needed for full text) is essentially correct:

Anne wasemotionally vulnerable and always depended very much upon her near circle offriends; Sarah wasthe closest of these. Anne wasromantically, but platonically, in love with Sarah, who, for her part, understood very well theimmense value of her relationship with the princess. So close did Anne feel to Sarah that from about 1691 she insisted thatthe aliases Mrs Morley and Mrs Freeman be used between them, to overcomeany undue feeling of formality when in private. Although Sarah eventually found the princess’sattentions irritating in their childlike ardour, she responded with genuineaffection, but not with love. She later wrote that she had little in commonwith Anne; she usedher periods of exclusion from the court to widen her reading, including Shakespeare, Dryden, Milton, Montaigne, and Seneca, whereas Anne remained stubbornly non-intellectual. Nonethe less, their political interdependence and genuine affection kept theirpersonal relationship alive.

I would say in my view this is about right. Anne was definitely in love with her, while Sarah liked her, but saw the overall value in being attached to the princess (later queen). They fell out over differing political opinions (Sarah was a Whig, Anne was a Tory) and both had devoted relationships with their husbands. Sarah’s was John Churchill, Duke of Marlborough, the statesman, political player, and hero of the War of Spanish Succession, and Anne’s was Prince George of Denmark. Sarah and Churchill had seven children, while Anne had at least seventeen pregnancies by George, but only one living son (William, Duke of Gloucester, who died at the age of eleven).

George has generally gotten a bad rap as a total unambitious dullard, and there has been some attempt to portray Anne and Sarah as lovers while Anne was unavoidably saddled with George and only kept having sex with him in hopes of a Stuart heir, which I think is both inaccurate and unfair to George. He had almost no political ambition at all and was absolutely happy to let his wife rule and be queen and to support her decisions, which was the reverse of Anne’s sister Mary and her husband William (Anne’s immediate predecessors). William refused to let Mary be crowned as sole queen, even though Mary and Anne were both daughters of James II and the hereditary right was Mary’s (for her part, Mary refused to countenance rulership without William and never wanted it much, but accepted it in the name of the Protestant cause/saving England from Catholic monarchy under her father). So by the time of Anne’s reign (1702-1714) it was still not at all negotiated how exactly a new (female) constitutional monarch, post-1689 and Bill of Rights, would rule by herself, but Anne did pretty much that. She didn’t have constitutional strife, she took England from the chaos and civil/religious wars/Commonwealth/etc of the seventeenth to its emergence as a major world power in the eighteenth, and George was a-okay with all of this. He declared that “I am her Majesty’s subject, I will do naught but what she commands me,” and they adored each other. George’s death in 1708 absolutely devastated Anne and was one of the reasons that snapped her fraught relationship with Sarah, as one observer wrote:

[George’s death] has flung the Queen into an unspeakable grief.She never left him till he was dead, but continued kissing him the very momenthis breath went out of his body, and ‘twas with a great deal of difficulty my Lady Marlborough prevailedupon her to leave him.

Sarah and Anne’s relationship had been steadily deteriorating over political differences, Sarah’s domineering personality, and Anne’s affection for a new female favorite, Abigail Masham. Indeed, Anne’s Whig opponents (and Sarah herself) fanned rumors that Anne and Abigail’s relationship was that of lovers, including by scandalous poetry (see pp. 157-8):

Whenas Queen Anne of great RenownGreat Britain’s Sceptre sway’dBesides the Church, she dearly lov’dA Dirty Chamber-Maid….

As Traub points out, Sarah’s accusations are more likely motivated by jealousy at losing her position as favorite to Abigail, and Anne herself never forgave Sarah for insinuating lesbianism (as in the physical act of it, rather than romantic feelings) in their relationship. Again as Traub comments: “It was the result of a transformation in discourse, whereas intimate female friends, including matronly monarchs with seventeen pregnancies behind them, could be interpreted as purveyors of sexual vice.” In other words, the accusations flung at Elizabeth I, the woman ruling alone in the late 16th-early 17th century, had been that she had inappropriate male lovers; now the charges against Anne, a century later, were of inappropriate female lovers, and reflected, as discussed above, the emergence of this entire construction and visibility of same-sex female desire. Accusations or intimations of homosexuality were nothing new to the Stuarts; both William and Mary (especially William) had been painted as having inappropriately intimate same-gender relationships, and William’s Jacobite enemies had likewise gotten considerable mileage out of pamphlets portraying him as a “sodomite.” (Which, again, they had political reasons to do, so there is that, but it’s fascinating, if unfortunate, that this had now become the preferred currency of political slander, as that was not necessarily the case before).

Overall, Anne certainly had strong emotional relationships to women for her entire life, and in some cases, those relationships were accused of being explicitly sexual (reflecting a culture that was, as noted, really hella gay for both women and men, and this gayness was both accepted and reviled in turn) but for the benefit of her enemies (Sarah’s unflattering depiction of Anne was basically accepted as fact until the late 20th century). So in one sense, Anne and Sarah were in a long relationship that ended badly, and Anne was absolutely biromantic. Sex (or the lack of it) is not the only defining marker of a relationship, but if we mean a lesbian relationship in the modern sense of the word (where they are both romantic and sexual partners) then no. Anne and George were known for being devoted and faithful to each other (as noted, not at all the norm in the Stuart court) and Anne’s seventeen pregnancies make it clear they had sex throughout their marriage. Anne herself took the accusation of physical lesbianism with Abigail Masham as an unforgivable slight on Sarah’s part; i.e. the feelings or the rhetoric were acceptable to her, but the action was not. We have no reason to think she was being a hypocrite about this, or willfully concealing/ignoring it. Because, surprise! People’s attitudes and identities toward sexuality are complicated and shifting and partial and evolving, and conditioned by class, time, place, religion, society, etc.

Anyway, since this is another novel: we could definitely classify Anne as queer in the modern definition (having romantic feelings/romantic-if chaste-involvements with women, but lovingly and faithfully married to her husband who was her sexual partner), but probably not actively and certainly not exclusively lesbian. She was traditional in her views and devoted to the Protestant church (and to George), so yes. I would classify her as biromantic with a preference for/sexual activity with men, but whose long relationships with women were both politically and personally influential and absolutely deserve attention within the context of eighteenth-century LGBT history and literature.

#history #queer history #queen anne #the stuarts #whysogrimm #ask

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critiquingblaxploitation-blog · 6 years

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Coffy: The Analysis

Although itching to be transgressive, Coffy becomes a gnarly look at a black woman’s subjection to the ugly intersections of racism and sexism. Before the title credits even roll, Coffy is offered up as a “piece of tail” by a black man in a club, followed by the exclamation, “I even got white tail!” Immediately, Coffy is reduced to her bodily assets, specifically her black bodily assets, which are apparently less noteworthy than white bodily assets. The notion of multiple jeopardy comes to mind, particularly the “double enslavement” of blackness and womanhood, discussed by scholar Deborah K. King in an article titled “Multiple Jeopardy, Multiple Consciousness: The Context of a Black Feminist Ideology.”

This predatory racialized male gaze persists throughout the entirety of the film. In fact, the exploitation of Coffy’s sexuality is precisely what undermines her moments of resistance. When Coffy finds herself in a public rumble with several white female prostitutes at a party, the scene becomes extremely hypersexualized. While the men in attendance stand back and watch in a state of perverse glee, dresses are torn and breasts are bared. Coffy is shown to be especially aggressive, prompting one male onlooker to remark, “She’s a wild animal! I’ve got to have that girl.” Not only does this remark suggest his belief in easy possession of Coffy’s body, but it also serves to draw on the fetishistic “wild woman” stereotype highlighted in bell hooks’ “Selling Hot Pussy.” Indeed, at one point Coffy is even referred to as “the wildcat from the tropical jungle.”

The commodification of Coffy’s body is undeniable in this film. When a jealous white woman spills a drink on Coffy’s dress, a ridiculous number of people in the immediate vicinity gather around in faux concern and paw at her body, in supposed attempt to mop the wine off of her dress. Later, she is pimped out to mob boss Arturo Vitrioni, whom she poses for as a Jamaican woman because, “He likes a girl who he thinks is foreign.” The showdown between Coffy and Arturo is likely the most degrading scene in the entire film, as Vitrioni showers Coffy with horrifically racist and sexist epithets. Coffy’s eventual backlash, with gun in hand and a cry of, “You want me to crawl, white motherfucker?!” does not salvage the scene, as Vitrioni retains the evident upper hand. The power dynamics here are frightfully palpable.

However, Coffy is not the only commodified black body in this film. When Vitrioni believes pimp daddy King George to be behind his attempted murder, he orders his cronies to lynch George using a highly brutal method that involves a noose and a car in motion... I’m no stranger to violent, graphic films, but this scene was particularly disturbing. The attempted rape and murder of Coffy that occurs towards the end of the film suggests that her body is thought to be just as disposable as King George’s. I should also mention that Coffy and King George are two of very few black characters with substantial roles in this film, indeed Coffy is the only black woman with such standing.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the rare moments of promise featured in this film. After all, I initially approached these films with a naive hope that I might be able to glean some level of black feminist motivation from them, and I’d like to think that my naivete wasn’t completely misplaced. First off, Coffy’s position as a proponent of vigilante justice is notable. She is driven to kill off local dope pushers in order to avenge the suffering of her younger sister, Lubelle, who is a recovering dope addict. Unfortunately, many of the strikes that she carries out are directed at black dope pushers, who clearly occupy a similarly marginalized social positionality. However, Coffy is no fool. “The law is in for a piece of the action,” she asserts angrily, demonstrating her resistance to authority. Eventually she does take on several of the white orchestrators, flipping a cop car and killing them off one by one, stating triumphantly, “That’s a present from my little sister!” Although not visibly represented, black sisterhood is present in this way.

I’d also like to note Coffy’s occupation as a nurse, in which she moves through a predominantly white space. However, the representation of this aspect of her character is minimal, and the air time that she’s shown in uniform is soiled by the condescension of a white male doctor.

One particularly interesting character in Coffy is Coffy’s part-time lover, congressman Howard Brunswick. Although he proves himself to be highly deceitful, his character is arguably a mouthpiece for the exposure of the racial injustice and hierarchy within the drug trade. While Howard is filming his campaign appeal, one gets the sense that he’s directly addressing the black 1970’s viewer when he proclaims,

“You ask, ‘Why would a power structure deliberately create narcotics addicts?’ Well, I ask you, where do you think that $100 a day goes? Part of it goes to the black pushers and distributors, but the main part of it, the really big part, goes to those white men who import the narcotics. The big part goes those white men who corrupt our law-enforcement agencies. And the big part goes to those white men who draft our black boys and send them over to Indochina to protect other white men who were the original suppliers of the narcotics. It becomes a vicious attempt on the part of the white power structure to exploit our black men and women in this society.”

When Coffy later confronts him about his own hypocritical collusion with these exploitative white men, Howard insists, “I did it for our brothers and sisters… I want to get all that money back into the hands of black people like you and me.” Yet his argument quickly collapses in on itself when a partially nude white woman appears upstairs and calls him back to bed. At this, Coffy shoots Howard dead and retreats, disheveled and alone, into the waxing light of sunrise.

The conclusion here is conflicted. Although highly problematic, Coffy has some redeeming moments. There is a sense of powerful resistance and justice embodied in Coffy. However, the overwhelmingly degrading nature of her representation serves to counteract the potential for black feminist inspiration. Thanks to a healthy dose of racialized sexualization supplied by the ever-leering male gaze, Coffy becomes a fetishized sex symbol rather than the kickass superhero we all know her to be. Despite her success in killing off the men behind the local dope trade, the final moments in the film are more discouraging than empowering, as Coffy returns to a social atmosphere that does not favor her. Indeed, she braves her wandering alone, not because she desires solitude, but because she was not afforded a more palatable choice.

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johneburton · 4 years

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Revival or Riots? There’s One Solution To Today’s Unrest. https://ift.tt/2yTNqhc When crisis comes, the church must respond with a fiery resolve to fan the flames of revival. Revival or riots? It's clear which one is taking the nation by storm right now. It's been said that wherever Paul went he'd kick-start either a revival or a riot. The sharp edge of the message he was bringing resulted in people either surrendering all to follow Jesus or in a mass resistance. 5 But some of the Jews were jealous, so they gathered some troublemakers from the marketplace to form a mob and start a riot. They attacked the home of Jason, searching for Paul and Silas so they could drag them out to the crowd. 6 Not finding them there, they dragged out Jason and some of the other believers instead and took them before the city council. “Paul and Silas have caused trouble all over the world,” they shouted, “and now they are here disturbing our city, too. Acts 17:5-6 (NLT2) When the true Gospel of Jesus Christ is preached we can expect either revival or riots. However, the riots that are erupting in cities all over the nation as a result of the horrific and inexcusable death of George Floyd has nothing to do with a powerful message of truth. Love expressed through the truth of the Word will result in a rioting mob, but so will hate. Today's riots have everything to do with hate and nothing to do with love. All of this is happening on the church's watch. RIOTING IS THE LANGUAGE OF THE UNHEARD Pastor Eric Smith of Destiny Church in Dayton, Ohio saw a protester holding a sign that repeated the words of Martin Luther King: Riots are the language of the unheard. Eric simply and profoundly said, “Time to get a new language.” It's important to note that Dr. King was a fierce resistor of violent protest. His analytical statement, however, was true. When people are not heard, when they are pushed to their limits, it's possible to break. An uprising is to be expected. However, Pastor Eric was correct. If riots are the language of the unheard, it absolutely is time to get a new language. WICKED SPIRITS OVERTAKING OUR NATION Part of my grief over the death and violence that has erupted is due to a loss of discernment in our nation. I believe there's a mighty spirit of confusion that's settling over America right now. Coronavirus exposed a severe spirit of fear that absolutely devastated millions, whether they were infected by the virus or not. Mobs verbally assaulted those who didn't wear a mask while shopping. Stop and think about just how fierce that demonic spirit of fear is. Then a spirit of rage and, for many, hatred exploded overnight after another heart-wrenching and tragic death of an African-American at the hands of a police officer. A call to “kill cops” is being sounded by some in the midst of this crisis. As you watch the news and witness fires burning all over the nation, you can understand the power of this particular spirit of rage and hate as well. Another spirit preceded our recent testings, and it's gaining strength today. America has been seduced by a strong delusion. Strange confusion has overtaken our culture. Just a week ago, protesters marching against the lockdowns due to COVID-19 were called murderers by some because they weren't social distancing or wearing masks. Fast forward several days and a new set of protests emerged in the land for a very different reason. Where are the calls for social distancing and masks as peaceful protesters marched and as rioters converged in mass to destroy businesses and attack people including business owners and police officers? Add to this the gender confusion that's been in the news in recent years. Men are women and women are men, so it seems, and you can be legally responsible if you don't address these people by their chosen gender. It's absolutely bizarre. I could write into the night with example after example of strange confusion and delusion that has spread through society. Suffice it to say it's clear that a very wicked and very strong demonic agenda has been unleashed against our nation. Fear, rage, hate and delusion have blanketed the land and it's time for the church to finally rise up. A NEW LANGUAGE Some of you will be frustrated with my prescription in the midst of the virus and riots and madness. Most, it seems, are looking for governmental resolutions, legislation and penalties for those who don't comply. While appropriate new laws can certainly help, the truth is that we can never legislate away the assaults of invisible and very crafty evil spirits. Satan rages and he won't submit to man's laws. You can't create a law that eliminates hatred. You can't create systems that alleviate fear. Why? These are spirits warring against us and the only way to fight back is in the invisible, spiritual realm. The grief that grips me is that most are looking for logical and natural solutions to a spiritual problem. While we can certainly take some steps in the natural, our victory won't be found there. The new language that Pastor Eric was referring to, if I might suppose just a bit, centers around repentance instead of riots, love instead of hatred and spiritual violence instead of natural rage. Simply, we must pursue full-blown, supernatural and overwhelming revival as our primary resolution. The new language, at its root, is passionate, aggressive and vein-popping intercession. We as God's government on the earth must rise up and pray! This is the force the spirit of the age must feel coming against it in these end times. As we live a life of soul-ripping repentance and contend for revival in the land, we will be consumed with the desire for prayer. The need will overwhelm us. Tears will flow down our cheeks as we stand in the gap as spiritual warriors and push the enemy back. It makes little sense to attempt to seek peace in the midst of war when the enemy hasn't yet been defeated. The enemy isn't a virus or blacks or whites or Asians or the police or politicians. To think so is laughable. The destruction of the adversary, of Satan's hordes, is the solitary key to winning this battle and driving out spirits of fear, rage, hatred and confusion. It's the love of Jesus that will cause us to fight like this. From that place of intercession and spiritual warfare we will discern the enemies that those who are not living in the spirit can't see. We are God's secret agents and revival is our cry. Imagine the cities that are burning today transformed by the fire of the Holy Spirit! We need millions to fall desperately in love with Jesus! The harvest is ripe! They are waiting for an otherworldly message that will shock them to their core and drive them to their knees! Only then will we have the revival and riots that Paul experienced. As for the riots we are seeing today, they are the cry of the unheard. Yes, we must all listen to them, hear their pain and cry with them. I also pray their cry turns to intercession instead of violence. That's the language that Pastor Eric was really talking about.

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