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sweetiejunie · 3 years

Text

It’s Because I Love you

Summary: Soobin dug himself into a hole and needed his bestfriend to help him out

Genre: Fluff, Friends-to-lovers, Slow-burn(ish)

Word count: ~10k (oops sry)

💕 Requested

A/n: to the anon that requested this. I’m so sorry this took me forever... haha~ I hope you liked it! And writing this actually reminded how much i like writing these. Do you guys prefer these kind of longer fics or the shorter reaction type fics?

Warnings: Some swearing

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“Y/n i fucked up.”

Was first line that came out of soobin’s mouth when you opened the door. It wasn’t unusual for soobin to randomly show up at your place. But you really weren’t expecting his presence today, since you knew he would be busy packing to head home for the week break. You were about to greet him but before you could say anything, he beat you to it, his sentence laced with regret and panic. “What did you do this time?” You answered, “aren’t you supposed to be packing?” “I- excuse you what do you mean ‘this time’?” He mocked. “Okay, whatever, we’ll get back to that and yeah, i am, but I fucked up real bad,” he repeated. “Huh?” You took a step back so soobin could enter. “Are you alright? What happened?” “So you know how all my cousins and sibling are in a relationship right?” Soobin continued, making his way to your couch to sit down. Resting his head back against the cushions as he groaned. “Yeah, what about it?” Tilting your head as the conversation got more confusing by the second. You closed the door behind you before joining him. “Well... my brother just called me and may have been bothering me about being the only one that isn’t in a relationship...” he trailed off, “and erm, i may have said i... had a girlfriend. And now my family wants met her.” You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his confession, “you did what? You really dug yourself into a hole this time.” Soobin was the youngest of his family. He was always the one that chose to focus more on his grades than actually making friends. Sure, he went to parties and drank every now and then, but other than that, he rarely did anything short of the ‘perfect son’. But despite all his efforts, there was always one thing his sibling could tease him about, and that was the fact that he was 21 and has never been in a relationship. Soobin always tried to not let this bother him, but i guess today, he just snapped. “I really did,” he sighed. “That’s why i need your help.” “How can i possibly help you out of this, soobin?” you ridiculed, glaring at him. “You do know that you’re one of my only friends, right? Meaning, I won’t be able to find anyone to play girlfriend with you.” “Um, actually about that... i kind of told my family that my girlfriend goes to the same school as me and studies the same major as me. I also kind of told them that she has y/e/c eyes and y/h/c hair.” He sat up, looking for a reaction from you. Instead, all he saw was your blank expression, staring back at him. “Yeah so, if you hadn’t caught on yet, i might have, sort of, just described you to my family.” Your eyes widened at his statement, you weren’t sure what to reply. You met soobin all the way back in high school, and you’ve stayed friends ever since — 5 years, 11 months, 23 days, to be exact. Not that you were keeping count or anything. You remember the first day you approached the shy boy, the new transfer student sitting at the back alone. He was the first friend you made there. And to makes things worse, you’ve had a crush on him, but you knew better than to confess and possibly ruin the friendship. You’ve suppressed all your feeling since then. Maybe. Probably. Okay, no. But you’ve tried. And all this talk of ‘pretend girlfriend’ did nothing but make your heart start racing again. “Why on earth would you do that!” “I dont know! You were the first person that came to mind! So are you okay with doing me the favour of playing the role of my girlfriend?” Soobin said with a slight pout and puppy dog eyes. A move he knew you could never refuse, “You’re free this break, right?” His sudden confession was like a blow to your heart. The first person that came to his mind... but it’s probably just because he didnt have many female friends, right? “Erm...” you paused. The more you thought about his proposition, the more you found yourself weighing the consequences. “Come on y/n. Please? We already get engaged every other week at clubs for free drinks. This won’t be that much different.” “Would your family believe it? I mean, it’s me.” “Sure they will. And it’ll be easy to fake it since you already know me.” You paused for another second before replying. “Hm, right. Fine. But you owe me. Do i have to bring anything?” You were helping out a friend. A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. “Nope, just bring enough clothes. You don’t need anything too fancy,” he stood up, leaning down to give you a quick hug. As he walked towards the door, he looked over his shoulder before leaving your apartment. “Thanks for doing this, i really owe you. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow after our classes, alright? See you then.”

————-————-————-————-

After an hour, three outfit changes and completely unpacking and repacking your luggage twice, you were finally satisfied and ready to go. It was only a weeks worth of clothes in a small luggage, yet, you still found a way to overthink it. In the end, you had settled for a simple tee with jeans and a coat to keep you warm for the ride. Already, you were beginning to regret your decision of going along with this whole ‘fake girlfriend’ act. It had nothing to do with soobin or his family. They were absolutely wonderful, his parents were kind, his siblings were fun and sweet and his baby nephew was, well, a baby. The only problem was what if your heart liked the idea of being his ‘girlfriend’ just a little bit too much? You had met his siblings and parents a handful of times when they visited him at his apartment. They’ve always been nothing but nice to you, and now, you were going to have to lie to them. The more you thought about it, the more your mind was playing angel and devil with you. On one hand, you didn’t want to spend the weekend being dishonest and possibly screwing up the image soobin’s family had of you. But on the other, you wanted to be selfish and be able to call soobin yours, even if it were just for a few days. You sighed quietly, sitting in your living room waiting for soobin to pick you up like he said he would. The entire day you had been unable to focus in your classes, whatever your lectures said just going right through your head. At this time on fridays, you would normally have found soobin dressed in any lounge wear he had, crashing at your place to watch whatever movie he found that week. But now, you were going to find him dressed up, ready to bring you to meet his parents. The relationship sure escalated quickly. Just as your mind started drifting further, your doorbell rang. “U ready?” Soobin’s signature eye smile greeted you, his front bunny teeth exposed. You’ve always noticed how soobin’s appearance resembled that of a bunny, but no matter how many times you tried to tell him, he didn’t want to believe it. “As ready as ill ever be,” you returned the smile, grabbing your luggage and locking your front door. Well, this was it, no turning back now. Helping you with your things, soobin lead you to his car and started the journey. It was only about a 3 hour drive and a car ride proved to be a great distraction. You hadn’t been to soobins hometown before, so being able to look out the window and see the scenery was no doubt better than sneaking glances at soobin in the drivers seat. You just knew that if you saw soobin, with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other propped on the arm rest, you might have gone into cardiac arrest. The ride was quiet for the most part, that was until soobin pulled up at a red light. “I made a playlist,” soobin flipped his phone around to show you and connect it to his car. “It’s like, if you were my real girlfriend, this would be the playlist i would share with you.” You couldn’t help but smile when you realised how sweet soobin would be in an actual relationship. His future girlfriend is really lucky. But you had to control yourself, reminding yourself that it’s all just pretend for the week. “I’m sure its great. You have great taste in music,” you faked a laugh. “Um... so... soobin? How exactly are we supposed to fake this? I mean, what we supposed to do? What will your family do?” “Oh...” he started, his eyes focusing back on the road, the lights turning green again. “To be honest, i haven’t actually thought about that part yet.” Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought. “Mmm, when my brother first brought his girlfriend home, my family teased him a lot, just to make fun of him and get her reaction. But they already did that with you whenever they visited me so... I’m not sure what they’ll do, honestly.” “Oh...” That was completely unhelpful. Pulling your knees to your chest, you continued staring blankly out the window. “Hey, don’t worry too much okay? We’ll just wing it like we do everything else. And that’s worked out for us so far, right?” Soobin chuckled, trying to comfort you. “As for what we need to do. I guess it’ll just be all that couple stuff like holding hands and hugging. And you’re already such a cuddly person, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. We got this, alright? And I’ll be with you the entire time.” You nod a response, “yeah, we got this.” On the outside, you tried to seem cool and composed. On the inside however, you were a mess. Sure, you and soobin already had your fair share of cuddles when he showed up for a movie night at your place. And on the days he was too lazy to go back to his dorm, you would find him whining and groaning for you to make him breakfast the next day. But now you were expected to act that way in front of his family? That was a whole new level of stress you didn’t think about when you agreed to this. After a while more of driving, it was a little over 10pm when soobin finally pulled up alongside the curd in front of his house. The remainder of the car ride had been relatively silent, except for the playlist that soobin had made for you, and the occasional mindless singing you would start that turned into a carpool karaoke. Getting off, soobin unloaded his and your luggage and lead you to the front door. Probably noticing your nervous state, soobin grabbed your shaking hands. “I’m right here alright?” He smiled, “it’s show time.” With that, he rang the doorbell. And not 15 seconds later, soobin’s sister answered the door. “Soobin!” She greeted, pulling him into a hug, “we’ve been waiting for you and- oh! Y/n! I knew it. Same major, y/e/c eyes, y/h/c hair. If it wasn’t you, i was about to kick his ass.” “Hah, yeah, surprise?” You said, the last part sounding more like a question than a sentence. “Aish, this boy. The previous night on the call, he just told us he’ll be bringing his girlfriend home, gave us a description but never told us who. Left us all to wonder who she was and well,” she chuckled, putting an arm around soobin’s shoulders, “if she even existed. I’m glad it’s you, the first time we met you, i already knew you two would end up together.” “Wait, so you all took guesses on who it was?” Soobin chimed in, shooting a glare at his sister. “Well, yea! All of us pretty much guessed y/n. Except for mom though, she’s kept quiet about it. But i guess it was just because she didn’t want to get her hopes up.” Looking at soobins annoyed expression, you laughed. Shrugging of his sisters arm, soobin grabbed both your luggage, pushing past his sister and pulled them into the house. “Alright, alright, just let us in already, its freezing out here.” “It’s nice to see you again y/n,” his sister said as she held the door open for you. “Likewise.” You smiled before stepping in. You’d never been to soobin’s house before. Sure, you’ve seen bits and pieces of it when the two of your FaceTimed over the holidays, but never in person. In the hallway where you stood, were the stairs that you presumed lead to the bedrooms. Sporadically placed were a few house plants that looked as if they had been watered quite recently. The walls were littered with family photos, and most noticeably, soobin’s baby pictures. You smiled looking at them, taking a mental image of the cute, little baby this giant once was. Closing the door behind you, soobins sister spoke, “you guys wait here. I think mom and dad are in the living room. I’ll go get them.” As you saw her silhouette disappear towards one of the entries, you felt the nerves building up again, “soobin...” you tilted you head up to look at him, your face portraying nothing but worry. “Don’t worry okay?” Taking your hand in his, gently squeezing for reassurance.“ Just follow my lead and pretend you’re in love with me. Which should be easy since I’m your favourite person,” he joked, in attempts to lighten your mood. ‘Pretend to be in love with him’. Okay, shouldn’t be too hard, considering the fact that you actually were in love with him and spent years pretending not to be. “Yea, alright.” Letting go of your hand, soobin walked forward to hug his parents when he saw them approaching. “Soobin, we were starting to wonder how long more you would take,” his mom said. “How are you? How’s everything at school?” “Everything’s fine,” he replied. Turning to you, he held out his hand for you to take. “Mom, dad, you know y/n.” Accepting his hand, you stepped forward to greet his parents. Just hoping that your nervous trembling wasn’t too obvious to the naked eye. “Ah of course! How could we ever forget,” his mom smiled. “We always knew the two of you would end up together eventually. He’s always been so obvious about you,” his dad added, causing blood to rush to your cheeks, and soobin to immediately retaliate. “Dad! Stop it. No i have not!” You looked around at him just in time to see him cross his arms and roll his eyes, cheeks pink and eyes shining. He met your eyes and looked away, but the grin on his face never faltered. Hitting her husbands arm, soobins mom scolded, “aish, stop teasing them, they just got here. Speaking of which, have you two eaten?” “No we havent, actually. We came right after school,” soobin answered. “In that case, you can take yours and y/n stuff up to your room and get settled in. I’ll order some food for you. Pizza sound okay?” his mom spun soobin around, pushing him back to where your luggage laid. “His room?” You thought out loud. Of course they were expecting you to share a room with soobin. What else could you have possibly thought. “Of course his room,” his mom answered, “you have known each other for such a long time. And i have no doubts there are days that soobin stayed over at your apartment instead of his dorm anyway. There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on the couch.” With that, you and soobin grabbed your things and headed up to his room. Sure, the nights soobin stayed over you have shared a bed before. But this time, it just felt different. Even though everything was still purely platonic, the element of you being in his home, pretending to be his girlfriend, was still no doubt intimidating. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Soobin asked rhetorically, snapping you out of your thoughts. He laughed, clearly taking the whole situation a lot lighter than you were. Opening the door to his room, it was exactly how you pictured it when he called you. You stood at the doorway, it seemed so familiar, yet unknown at the same time. His bed in the corner of the room with a few pillows and plushies, at the other end, his desk and wardrobe filled with clothes he left behind. His walls were mainly bare, except for one that had a few old polaroids hanging loosing from the ceiling. It felt weird being there. “Well, don’t just stand there,” soobin grabbed your luggage from you, pulling you in to the room so he could close the door behind you and crashing down on his bed. “First, let me give you the official welcome to mi casa. My family is a lot, but you already knew that. Make yourself at home.” “Honestly, i cant believe they bought it so easily,” you let out, taking a seat next to him. “Told you they would. My family probably loves you more than they love me.” You laughed halfheartedly, still feeling a bit awkward about the whole thing. “We should clean up before we head back to the wolves den for dinner. The bathroom is right down the hall to the right. You can go first, ill clear a drawer for you,” he offered. You nod, gathering your things for the night. This is all just pretend.

————-————-————-————-

The shower definitely helped calm you down a bit. You loved the warmth of the water against your skin. “It’s just for a week. Dont get used to it,” you muttered to yourself. Getting out, you quickly dressed yourself in a tshirt and some shorts. The normal attire you wore to sleep, anything else was always just uncomfortable for you. “You’re turn,” you announced when you entered soobins room again. “That was quick. Here, take one of my sweaters.” “What for?” You shot him a look, raising brow. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t stole his hoodies before, it was just the fact that he was offering it this time. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, aren’t you? Girlfriends always take their boyfriend’s clothes.” Fishing a plain, red sweater out from his wardrobe, he threw it in your direction, hitting you directly in the face and causing you to yelp a little. “Besides, you already take all my hoodies. This is no different,” he continued, eyeing you as you pulled it over your head. As usual, soobin’s clothes were huge on you. And this sweater was no doubt oversized, even for him. “How do i look?” You looked to him when you didn’t get a reply. But this only caused him to turn away from you quickly, mumbling something to himself before answering, “it’s my clothes, it’ll look great on everyone.” Scrambling to gather his things, he left for his shower. You could have swore you saw him blushing when he was looking at you. But you brushed it off as your overactive imagination. You decided to swiftly blow dry your hair before laying on his bed, scrolling through your phone while waiting for him. You were hungry, practically starving, but there was no way in hell you were going to face his family again on your own. With your new status, god knows what they would do or say. A mere 15 minutes go by before you hear the door open again. Revealing a damp haired soobin, dressed in a white tee and sweatpants. A simple look you have seen many times over the years, but one that still made your head and thoughts hazy. “Ready to go down?” He spoke, smirking at you, almost knowingly, “I’m starving.” “Ye- yeah,” gathering your thoughts, bringing yourself back to reality.

————-————-————-————-

Dinner with the family wasnt all that bad. Sure, there was the occasional teasing and questions. But that was to be expected. Any parent would have been curious, right? You let soobin take the lead on most of those. You didn’t want your cover to get blown by having any clashing answers. Once in a while you would feel soobin grab your hand under the table when he needed your help, but for the most part, they were the basic questions like “since when?” Or “who confessed first?”. The usual relationship stuff, nothing too hard. And it was a lot easier with the fact that it was you and soobin, the two friends that have mastered the art of bullshitting your way out of situations. At the end of the day, the awkwardness ended soon after it started. With it being past midnight, Soobin’s family had long gone to bed, leaving you two alone in the dimly lit kitchen to finish up your dinner, which had quickly became supper. “So, how was day one of being my girlfriend?” He looked over to you, munching on another piece of pizza. Even in that horrible lighting, he still managed to take your breath away. No one could possibly look good with dull, ugly, yellow kitchen lighting, but somehow, he did. The way the soft light bounced off his skin, partnered with the reflection in his eye that gave that perfect shine to them. You were sure you looked horrid next to him. “Mmm, it’s alright i guess,” you teased, earning a pout from soobin. “You big baby. I’m just kidding,” nudging him on the shoulder, causing you both the laugh. You didn’t know why this question surprised you as much as it did. Maybe you wanted to flip the tables, or maybe you just weren’t expecting the answer he gave. “So how was day one of having me as your pretend girlfriend?” He thought about it for a second before facing you and speaking. “Honestly, it’s been fun. Even though we haven’t done much. But then again, i always knew you would be great girlfriend to someone one day.” ‘Someone’. If only you could tell him how much you wanted that someone to be him. If only you had the guts to say what’s was on your mind. “Want to play some music?” Breaking the silence, soobin picked up his phone, quickly scrolling through his playlists before stopping on one he named ‘midnight’. “It’s just some chill songs i found that i thought would be nice to listen to at night.” The playlist started and the first song to play was ‘what falling in love feels like’. “Oh, i love this song,” you mindlessly stated between bites. “Really?” Soobin replied. “I never heard you listen to classical music.” Your eyes widened slightly when you realised what you said. You didn’t just listen to classical music. You’ve also imagined what it would be like to slow dance to it. “I never really told anyone... but i always wanted to dance with someone to this song. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit,” you trailed off, the surface of the counter suddenly becoming more interesting. The dead of night had you confessing unspoken words. There was another second of silence. You could feel soobin’s stare on your face. He was judging you. You were sure of it. Now you were just mentally preparing yourself for a laugh- “Let’s dance.” “What?” You weren’t expecting that. You shot your head up, seeing his outstretched hand. “Let’s dance,” he repeated. You reached for his hand, but didn’t grab it. You were hesitant. Never would you have thought you’d be slow dancing with your crush — of over 3 years, in the kitchen of his childhood home — at midnight. He held you hand, helping you to stand before twirling you into his arms. He lead your hands around his neck and his around your waist. You fell in step, letting the rhythm control your movements. Your eyes gazing into his brown, glistening ones, a soft smile on his face. It felt like a dream. Your surroundings and any other disturbances dissolved. It was just you and him. Right here, right now. You stayed like that, dancing. Everything felt just... perfect. “You know i’d never judge you right?” He said, his eyes watching your expressions closely. “I know that’s what you were thinking earlier.” You looked away, unable to find the right words. Soobin always had a way to read you so easily. Every once in a while he would remind you how expressive your face was. And you were certain a blush had crept to your cheeks when you heard soobin chuckle. “You silly girl. You can tell me anything. You know that. After all, you are my best friend.” “Right... best friend,” you offered a small smile to mask the resignation in your words. And just like that, the song ended. Soobin let go your waist. Leaving nothing the ghostly feeling of where his hands once were and the sensation of having his body so close to yours. “It’s nearly 1am. We should go to bed soon,” he nodded towards the clock on the stove. “You can head up first. I’ll clean up here and join you in a bit.” You nodded. Once you were back in his room, you crashed on his bed. Regret and agony the only things left for you to feel. Why did you agree to this. You knew it would be hard. But not this hard. You rolled over to your side of the bed. And true to his word, soobin entered shortly after. Climbing under the covers with you, poking your side when you paid no attention to him. You jumped, immediately facing him. “What was that for!?” “Nothing,” he laughed. “It’s just fun to do that to you. I have a fun day planned tomorrow, so get up early. Good night y/n.” “Good night, asshole.” You scoffed.

The next morning you woke up to a post-it on your head. You tore it off and looked around the room but soobin was nowhere to be seen. You groaned, sitting up to stretch and read the note. ‘Wake up sleepyhead. Come to the kitchen for breakfast.’ Oh, how you wished the entire night before had been a dream. But alas, it wasn’t. Pulling yourself out of bed, you cleaned yourself up and descend the stairs. The smell of fresh pancakes engulfing the entire house. “Good morning y/n,” soobin’s dad greeted you when you entered the kitchen. “Grab a seat. Breakfast is almost done.” “Your dad cooks?” You whispered as you pulled out the stool next to soobin. “Mainly breakfast. But yes,” he whispered back. Soobin’s dad placed a plate in front of each of you. 3 pancakes a piece, and more to come. “Butter or maple syrup?” “Both,” soobin smugly answered. “And you y/n?” “Ill have both as well, thanks,” you smiled before facing soobin. “Where’s your mom and sister?” “My mom went to the store. And my sister doesn’t get up till later.” Soobin grabbed the syrup his father had just put on the table and poured a generous amount. His attention was fully on his food. You couldn’t help but grin at his childlike manner. He always loved breakfast. Or any dish that can be both sweet and savoury actually. You both enjoyed your breakfast, watching soobin’s father flip pancakes, cheering when it landed, and messing around while cooking as your morning source of entertainment. “The pancakes are really good, mr choi,” you complimented. “Why, thank you y/n. You always have been such well mannered,” he said. “Hopefully some of that will rub off on my son soon.” “Hey! I am well mannered,” soobin retorted. “Oh, really now,” you taunted, giving him a look of disbelief. Soobin tsked, lightly pushing you over. “Okay, whatever. Anyways, hurry up. I’m going to show you around town today.” “You two don’t come back too late now,” his father added. “And bring a coat, it’s supposed to get colder today.” Stuffing down the remainder of his food, soobin linked your arms and dragged you out of the kitchen the moment he saw your plate empty. “Hey! I’m not done yet, i wanted one mo-!” “Bye dad!” Soobin interrupted, ignoring your plea.

————-————-————-————-

“So much being well mannered.” You mocked. “Not my fault you wanted to eat so much,” he shrugged. Both of you strolled along the road. You weren’t sure where soobin was bringing you, other than his aforementioned ‘town’. Despite it just being the two of you, soobin still dressed nicely, in a turtleneck and scarf with a black coat to go over it. “Wait...” you started, noticing a passing sign. “Why does that say the town is the other way?” “Cause i changed my mind. I’m bringing you somewhere else,” he replied, shooting you one of his, oh so charming, eye smiles. “I’ll bring you to town another day.” “This way’s to the forest,” you raised an eyebrow. “Are you planning to kill me or something? After 6 years of friendship. This is how you want to end it?” You dramatically gripped your chest and joked. “I’m sorry for whatever i did. I can change, I swear.” Soobin rolled his eyes and guffawed. “Of course. This has been my plan all along. To befriend you then brutally murder you among the trees where no one can find your body,” he played along. “Relax, I’m no murderer. An avid liar? Maybe. But not a murderer. I just want to show you something.” You hummed a response and continued on your way. Not long after, soobin was leading you down a path in the deserted forest. As the path reached deeper into the woods, the trees got denser. “Erm, soobin, where are we going?” You called from behind him. “I’m really starting to question the whole murder thing.” You’re not going to lie when you say the woods kind of crept you out. You could have sworn you felt someone behind you. But when you turned around, there wasn’t a soul. The twigs and dead leaves making a deafening crunch under your feet as the — seemingly never-ending — journey continued. “Just trust me,” he provided a simple answer that proved to be of no help in ensuring you. As you continued, the sound of snapping twigs got louder. You turned the corner and the sudden sound of birds fleeing their nest startled you, causing you to jump and grab soobin’s coat from the back. “Are you really that scared?” He laughed. “Don’t worry,” he continued, turning around and reaching for your hand. Gently running his thumb over yours the rest of the way. “We’re almost there. It’s worth it, i promise.” Having his hand in yours definitely provided some comfort. But it was also making you feel things that you shouldn’t be feeling. After another minute of walking, you finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The horrid crunching sound had been washed out by the sound of, well, rushing water. A waterfall. You gasped in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue waterfall. It was spurting over the basalt rock, spilling eel-like over the ledges. Its clamorous passage at the foot of the mountain threw up bubbles of spray. They sparkled uneasily in the beams of light that shined through the leaves of surrounding trees. When it toppled into the ecstasy-pool, it foamed it at the bottom. The rest of the pool was as clear as cellophane, allowing you to see down into the rocky bottom. Fronds of forest-green plants waved gently in the depths. The waterfall looked like a sheet of blue velour as it swished down. Its edges were hemmed with whipped-white lines. “Wow,” was all you managed to utter out. “I told you it was worth it,” soobin grinned. “Come on.” He lead you closer, collapsing on the bank and letting the nougat sweet smell of flowers wash over him. You followed suit. “How did you find this place?” “A friend of mine showed it to me when we were kids.” He said, leaning back against his palms. “We used to hang out all the time here. The five of us. That is, until i moved away for high school. “I wonder what they’re up to now.” He added after a slight pause. “You don’t see them when you come back for the holidays?” You asked. Soobin shook his head. “I don’t get to see them much anymore. I barely leave my house, y/n, you know that. Besides, they’re all busy with their own lives.” You listened to soobin reminisce about his childhood. You would listen to soobin talk for hours if you could. His words are were like gold to you, or perhaps some elixir you’ve been waiting all your days to hear. He had nothing but good things to say. It sounded like he had a lot of fun here, in the small town he grew up in. You both sat there for a while, gawking at the waterfall when the suddenly rustling of the bushes behind you caught your attention. “Y/n,” soobin stood up, holding you behind him as the rustling got louder. And then a figure walked through, a boy. He was wearing a brown furry jacket. His hair was a strange shade a pink, but it complimented his skin tone nicely. “Soobin?” The boy said, folding his arms. “No way. Is that actually you? Mr choi soobin. After all these years.” “Yeonjun?” Soobin replied, letting go of you and walking up to yeonjun. “What are you doing here?” “I was on my way out and thought i saw you earlier entering the forest so i decided to follow you. Who else knows this place anyway?” Yeonjun laughed, swinging an arm around soobin’s shoulder. “So you practically followed, what could have been, a complete stranger into the forest?” Soobin shot him a look. To that, yeonjun just smiled and nodded. “You never change, do you?” “Nope,” yeonjun answered confidently. “Anyways, are you going to introduce me to the pretty lady or do i have to do that myself?” He gestured a smile towards you. Beside him, soobin stiffened, his jaw slightly tensing before he answered. “Right... Yeonjun, y/n. We met in high school, she’s my best friend. Y/n, yeonjun. He was one of my friends i was telling you about-” “Yeah, until this bastard moved, changed his number and practically became a hermit that never left his house much.” Yeonjun jibed. “Hmm, that sounds about right. The only place I’ve seen him, other than class or the library, is at my apartment binge watching shows,” you added, causing yeonjun to burst out a laugh. “You guys are mean.” Soobin grumbled, pushing yeonjun’s arm off him. “I have a feeling she and i are going to be great friends.” Yeonjun said matter-of-factly. The three of you sat there, talking for what seemed like hours. Soobin and yeonjun continued to tell you about the different adventures they had together as kids with their friends, beomgyu, kai and taehyun. They recounted all the accidents that happened, all the fun moments they had together. Yeonjun eventually proceeded to tell you about all the embarrassing soobin stories he could think of, sharing jokes and making you laugh. The entire time though, soobin barely directed any conversation at you. Let alone laugh at Yeonjun’s ‘jokes’. As your laughter died down, yeonjun spoke again. “I have to ask though, what’s she doing doing here? Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m just curious. Does she live around here too?” You looked to soobin, unsure of how or what to answer. “It’s okay, yeonjun won’t snitch,” he said. “Y/n’s pretending to be my girlfriend for the holiday.” It hurt you every time he said it. In your head you wished so badly for it to be real. To think, by now you would have learnt that wishing only wounds the heart. And each time soobin said it out loud, it was like a punch to the gut. “Pretending to be your-“ yeonjun cut himself off by scoffing. “What for?” “Well....” soobin started explaining the whole situation to yeonjun. To which the only response he got out of the other boy was mockery and disbelief. “Are you serious?!” Yeonjun exclaimed. “So you two aren’t together?” You shook your head. “Oh... good....” he mumbled, grinning in the process. “You have got to be kidding me. But you guys do you, i guess. My lips are sealed. “I hate to ruin the moment but i have to go. It was nice meeting you y/n.” He tipped an imaginary hat. “It was nice to see you again too, soobin. But let know, the next time you’re back.” “Right, ill keep that in mind.” Soobin replied. Just as yeonjun started to walk away, he stopped and turned around once more. “Oh! Right. How long are you guys staying? I’m meeting beomgyu, tae and kai on monday at the diner. You should come,” his eyes travelled to you, “both of you.” “We cant-“ “We would love to!” You cut soobin off, “come on soobin, you haven’t seen your friends in ages. I would be nice to say ‘hi’ again.” Soobin stared at you for a second. Maybe it was the excitement in your face or maybe he truly did want to see his friends again. But in the end he agreed. “Great! Ill see you two monday at 5.” Yeonjun ended, giving a small salute before leaving, for real this time. Soobin went back to the bay, laying down on the grass, letting out a long held sigh. He stared up at the sky that was quickly becoming darker. The stars and moon announcing their arrival. “You alright?” You asked, sitting down next to him. “Yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” He answered, his eyes still closed. “I don’t know. You just seemed... off just now. Like my or yeonjun’s presence bothered you.” “It’s nothing. Im just tired.” He sighed again, sitting up. “While on the subject, we should head back. It’s getting dark.” He stood up and started walking without another word. Was he mad at you? No... he had no reason to be, right? Was he mad about the joke you made with yeonjun? You quickly caught up to him and followed him out of the forest. Other than your footsteps against the concrete road and the cicadas that came out to say their daily greetings, the awkward silence followed the rest of the way. “I’m not annoyed at you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” soobin broke the silence. The entire walk you had your focus on the ground, not noticing the stolen glances soobin took. “Stop sulking. People are going to think i kicked your puppy or something.” He chuckled, bending his waist slight to look at your face. His face was mere inches away from yours. Memories from the previous night came flooding back. You didn’t offer a response, not trusting the words that would escape your lips in that moment. Instead just turning your face to the other side to avoid his stare. Soobin let out a light hearted laugh and continued walking. You recalled how soobin always said you had an expressive face. He must have seen something you didn’t realise. The sky got darker as you continued down the road. The cool winter breeze greeting the concrete and skin just the same, causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. Mentally cursing the fact that, other than your khaki coat, you didn’t think to wear more layers that morning. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed. “Are you cold?” Soobin asked, already shedding off his cherry red, wool scarf. “No, it’s alright, you’ll get cold,” grabbing his hands to stop his actions. “I’ll be fine. And we’re only about 5 minutes away,” he argued, wrapping his scarf around your neck. He took your hand, pulling you behind him the rest of the way quickly before you ‘caught a cold’. The scarf sat snug to your skin, soft and gentle, the ends becoming a colourful flag in the wintry winds. It was still warm from where it sat before. You could smell of his cologne on it. Faint, from the day’s activities. But still prominent enough to know it’s existence. Your hands trembled in his and you thanked the cold for that excuse. Burying your face deeper into his scarf before he could make out the slight blush that painted your cheeks. When you reached soobin’s home again, there was a faint chattering echoing through house. “Oh, i think my older sister’s came for a visit.” Soobin’s older sister. The one that’s the account, married, with the baby — soobin’s nephew — and the lovely husband. You’ve only ever met them once, well that, and the occasional pictures soobin would send you of him and his nephew. Seeing soobin with babies did things to your heart thats you didn’t like. You’ve already imagined the unlikely scenario of what it would be like to have soobin as your boyfriend. You can’t go fantasising an entire family as well. But you had to admit, he would make a great dad one day. “Soobin!” His older sister ran and hugged him. He’s always had such a close bond with his siblings. “Mom and dad told me you brought your girlfriend home this time.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Hey sis. And yeah, y/n. You know her,” soobin turned to you. “Of course. The last time i saw you two I knew you’d end up together.” She cheered as if she had just won the lottery. So, from what you’ve gathered, soobin’s entire family had always had some hopes on the two of two. You wanted to smile at that fact. But at same time, you were lying to them right now. It was a bittersweet feeling. The remainder of the night went on rather unproductive. You had dinner with his family, chatted with them, played with the baby and that was about it. The worst part came when the family decided to watch a movie together. The movie was great, dont get me wrong. You all sat together and watched kingsman again. Even though it was the tenth time you’ve seen it, it was still yours and Soobin’s favourite. The bad part came when you had to find a seat. The family couch say four, soobin’s mom, dad and sisters. The older’s husband took one of the arm chairs, leaving you and soobin to share the other. In other words, you ended up having to sit on his lap. “I can just sit on the floor, its no problem,” you suggested. “Nonsense. I won’t let you sit on the floor,” soobin rebutted, holding your waist, pulling you back onto his lap. You swear, if it wasn’t for the dimness of the room, the redness of your face would have matched that of the fire place. Throughout the movie you found it extremely hard to pay attention. Soobin had left one of his hands to rest on your knee and the other around your back. Sure, he was probably just putting on a show for his family. But he didn’t have to do the thumb thing as well. Or gently whisper in your ear, so close that you could feel his breath against your neck. The rest of the time you couldn’t help but fidget in your seat — which just so happened to be soobin’s lap. As interesting as the fight scene on screen was or the dramatic music playing, the only thing you could focus on was the fact that soobin’s hand had now traveled to your thigh. And underneath you, soobin’s breathing was becoming short and uneven. He was starting to stir as well before getting up, forcing you to stand and murmuring, “I’m going to head to bed early. You guys enjoy the rest of the movie.” Within the next beat of the soundtrack, he was dashing out of the living room and running up the stairs. What...? You weren’t the only one wondering that. Soobin’s family were now staring at you, his mothers brows furrowed, his sister’s head tilted quizzically. “He said he’s tired,” you blurted, face-palming in your head. Great. You already felt out of place and this certainly wasn’t helping. You sat down on the, now vacant, chair and continued the rest of the movie with his family. I’m sure he’s fine. You can always ask him tomorrow.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You woke up to an empty bed again. But this time there was no post it note or anything from soobin. So you assumed he’d be in the kitchen like before. “Morning y/n,” it was his older sister this time. “Morning.” You looked around. No sight of soobin. “Where’s soobin?” “Oh he didn’t tell you? He went out for a walk around 20 minutes ago.” Why didn’t he wait for you? “Yeah, he didn’t. Did he say where he was going or when he’ll be back?” You asked. To that, she just shook her head. Oh...

“I almost forgot,” she continued. “There was a note for you. I left it on the counter for you.”

You picked it up, hoping to see Soobin’s name as the regards, telling you his whereabouts. Instead, the note was fairly short.

Hey y/n!

Once again i just wanted to welcome you to town. It was really nice meeting you yesterday! Maybe we could hang out some time?

(Hopefully) Your friend,

Yeonjun

Did Soobin see it? Either way, why does it matter. After breakfast, you decided to wait for soobin to come home. If he didn’t tell where he was going, it means he cant be gone long, right? You sat in his room, figuring it would be the only place you didnt have to face his family members. It was only about an hour and a half of waiting and a lunch break, that you got bored. You could only scroll your phone so much before it started to get more redundant than it already was. So, checking the weather report, you got dressed and left for a walk around. You hadn’t seen much of the area yet, it wouldn’t be harmful to do some exploring. Learning your lesson from yesterday, you put on a wool sweater underneath your coat. A pair of dr marten to match. It was a rather fine day out. You walked under the sun that warmed your skin, but the cool winds keeping the temperature cool enough. The only thing that would make this better would be if soobin were with you... “Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call from behind you. ��You turned around and saw a familiar lock of pink hair running towards you, frantically waving his arms. He was wearing a leather jacket today. Behind him was someone else that chased after him. He had nicely styled, bleached blonde hair and was slightly short than yeonjun was. “Oh, hi.” You greeted the two of them. “Fancy running into you again.” “I know, right!” He agreed, a bit more enthusiastically than what you would imagine. “Why are you alone? Where’s soobin?” “No clue. He just took off this morning. Didn’t tell me anything and i got bored of sitting around alone.” “Maybe the pressure of a relationship getting to him,” yeonjun suggested. “It’s fake though,” you mocked. He just shrugged. “Doesn’t make it any less of a commitment.” You hummed a reply. “Fair enough.” “Anyway. If you have nothing better to do... taehyun and i,” he said, gesturing towards to boy beside him, “were just headed to the arcade in town. Care to join us?” “Sure, I don’t see why not.” You followed as yeonjun and taehyun lead you through the town soobin said he would bring you to. Every corner they turned, they greeted someone new. From little kids to elderly ladies and gentlemen. Small town, i guess everyone knew everyone. Eventually, they stopped in front of a building, the arcade. The pings from the pinball machines, the bullets from the shooting games, and the ‘jackpot’ announcements, all a dead give away. From the outside, the building looked old and rundown. The paint was old and cracking as if it hadn’t been repainted in years. Even the neon signs provided to the retro aesthetic, casting a purple-red hue over everything. You stood there, taking in the atmosphere for a second. It sure was different from any arcade you had back in the city. You glanced around, when a figure at one of the pinball machines caught your eye. “Soobin?” You spoke out loud. Confused, yeonjun and taehyun followed your gaze to said figure. “What in the?” You walked up to him. the further into the arcade you went, the louder everything got. Tapping him on the shoulder, you just about had to yell to have any sort of conversation. “Y/n?” He asked, looking at you with the same expression as culprit that had just been caught red-handed. You scoffed playfully, crossing your arms. “So you ditched me to come play games alone?” “Um, kind of? Not really though,” he said. His eyes darting towards the two boys that to came up behind you. “You came with taehyun and... Yeonjun?” “Hey soob, long time no see,” taehyun added. “I went out for a walk and ran into them,” a quick and easy reason. “You could have just told me if you wanted to come to town alone, you know? You don’t have to sneak off at the crack of dawn.” “Nice to see you too tae. And I do want to show you around the town. It’s just,” his eyes travelled between you and yeonjun, back to you in a blink. “I just needed a break from things for a while.” “Hm, alright,” you accepted his explanation, but something still felt weird. “Since we’re already here, there’s no use standing around.” Yeonjun spoke. “Y/n, come play the shooting game with me!” Before you could reply, yeonjun was already dragging you towards one of the machines. Leaving taehyun and soobin to do whatever it was they did. He handed you one of the guns available and scanned his arcade card. The entire time you could feel eyes watching you, but shook it off. Yeonjun was pretty good at the game, you had to admit. He spent a lot of time here, you assumed. Time seemed to disappear the longer you were in the arcade. The atmosphere around you never changed. It was still as lively and colourful as when you first walked in. The bright lights and loud music blasting, disrupting your senses. But outside, the sun was quickly setting. “Good game, y/n,” taehyun offered a handshake after you beat him at yet another game of air hockey. You took it. “Not too shabby yourself.” Beside you, yeonjun and soobin clapped for your victory. “We should probably go back soon,” Soobin said, showing the clock on his phone. It was nearly 8pm. Time sure flies when you’re having fun. You all travelled back together. Turns out yeonjun and taehyun only lived a street away from soobin. “See you tomorrow,” taehyun and yeonjun waved goodbye as you parted ways, leaving you and soobin to go your way. Neither of you said a thing to each other. And for reason you were having trouble thinking of a conversation starter, this hasn’t happened before. Usually you and soobin had endless things to talk about. It didn’t matter how stupid or unimaginable it was, the two of you never ran out of things to say. “When you were a kid, did you ever pretend you were smoking in winter?” You said the first thing that came to mind, the cold air making your breath visible, helping to elaborate your question. You laughed at yourself, holding your fingers up in a peace sign, imagining a cigarette between them. “Yeah, when i was like 7.” Okay, ouch. Soobin’s answer was short, providing no further conversation. You pressed your lips together, stuffing your hands in your pockets as embarrassment crept up on you. So much for never feeling judged. The rest of the night you didn’t speak much. Every attempt you made just being shot down with one liners. Every time you showed soobin a funny video or meme, he gave little to no response. And eventually you gave up. This continued to the following day. Sure, soobin was an introvert. You knew that. But he’s never ignored you to this extent. Was he getting sick of having you around everyday? If that was the case, he should just tell you, you’d give him all the space he needs. You can’t lie and say you weren’t hurt by that thought. Your crush was ignoring you. That would have hurt anyone. And right now, you felt nothing more than a parasite in his home. “Come on, we have to go meet the others,” the first words he’s said to you in hours.

You followed quietly as soobin brought you to the diner. When you arrived, the others were already there. Yeonjun and taehyun, along with two new faces. Beomgyu and Huening Kai, you figured from previous conversations. They sat at a semi-circle booth meant for four with two extra chairs at the end. One of which occupied by taehyun as the other three shared the banquette bench. “Soobin! Y/n!” They waved. Yeonjun sat at one of the ends and shifted when he spotted you enter. “Y/n, i saved you a seat next to me,” he said smugly, smirking and cocking his head to the space beside him. You rolled your eyes at his antics, lips curling upwards. Soobin’s expression remained hard, unbothered and unimpressed even. But you didn’t question it, he’s been like that since yesterday. And frankly, you’ve gotten sick of it. Might as well spend time with someone that actually wants your attention. You got along well with the boys. You learnt that Kai and taehyun went to the same school and beomgyu had just graduated recently. Most of the time though, was spent whispering jokes between yeonjun and yourself. And at some point of the night, he had managed to sneak an around the back of the booth. On the other side, Beomgyu and Kai snickered to each other and eventually shook hands, some bet or deal you presumed. All of a sudden you heard one of the chairs beside you shift. The feet scratching against the tiled floor. And the next thing you knew, soobin was walking out the door, the bell ringing behind him. “Where’s he going?” Kai asked. “No clue,” Beomgyu answered. Taehyun just shrugged. All your attentions still on the door that had already been shut. “Um, ill go check on him,” you announced, running out of the diner after him. Sure, you and him weren’t on good terms at the moment, but nontheless he was still your best friend, and a huge part of you still cared for him. “Soobin, wait!” You called, but he kept walking. “Soobin!” You tried again, chasing after him. “Stop right there choi soobin!” You yelled, your voice echoing through the empty street. The boys silhouette stood still. But never did he turn to look at you. “Dont you dare take another step!” Never once in five years have you ever felt intimidated by him. But with his large figure being illuminated by nothing but the dull, yellow street lights, you couldn’t say that anymore. There was silence as you gathered your thoughts, making your way towards him. You had him right in front of you. Now what? You wanted soobin back. Your soobin. “What’s going on with you?” Your feet stopped on their own accord, right behind the tall boy. “You’ve been acting strange.” No answer. “Soobin, don’t ignore me!” You said again, desperation and annoyance laced in your tone. “I don’t know what you want me to say y/n,” he sighed, trying to keep his temper from exploding. “I want a damn explanation, soobin,” anger from the previous day slowly consuming you. “Do you know how much of an asshole you’re being? God! I try to talk to you, but it’s just like i’m talking to a god damn wall! So, you can either tell me what’s going on or I’m on the next bus home tomorrow.” No answer. But you could tell the last part hit him hard. He couldn’t look at you. If he did, he was sure you would see the remorse and anger in his eyes. He hated that you were mad. He hated that you were yelling. But most of all he hated that he was the cause of it. “You asked me to come play girlfriend with you and i did,” you sighed, continuing when he started walking again. “I only did because,” swallowed the lump in your throat, “you’re... you’re my best friend.” Best friend. “I’m your best friend... you can me anything, you know that.” You quoted his words. “There’s some things better left unsaid,” he offered before walking away again. “I’m sorry y/n.” “No!” You cried, stopping his tracks. “Apology not accepted.” You could see frustration building in soobin. His hand pinching his temple, his shoulders tensed as you spoke. “You said you’d be by my side the whole time! But since the waterfall you’ve barely talked to me! You leave me in situations on my own, you’re ignoring me and you randomly take off without a word. You’re doing it right now! So, again, you can either tell me what’s going on or-“ “It’s because i love you, okay!?” Now it was your turn to stay silent. Soobin let out a sigh, turning to face you. “Is that what you want to hear?! I love you, y/n!” His tone got softer, “I love you so much. For as long as i can remember knowing you. It hurts when I see you with other people. Especially people that so blatantly flirt with you in front of me. You’re stunning, beautiful. Even a fool could see it. But you’re also so much more than that. “You were the only person that bothered to come talk to me the first day of school. Others probably viewed me as the weird, loser kid that sat alone during lunch. But you didn’t. You were my first and only friend for years. Before i knew it, i had a crush on you. At first, i thought it was just a phase. But it wasn’t, y/n. And now, im so hopelessly head over heels for you. “I know, I haven’t earned your heart. I never will. I could spend a million years worshiping you and still not earn it. You’re my best friend, i know I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I know you’re mad at me. And i know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But please... please, don’t leave me.” He sounded raw, real in a way you’ve never heard before. When he was done, he was closely inspecting the road, afraid to look up. Chewing on his bottom lip nervously, waiting for your rejection. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked, keeping emotion from your voice. He shrugged and laughed. “You’re my best friend, I didn’t want to lose you.” You let one hand slide against his cheek, resting your palm there. “You wouldn’t have.” “Wha-“ “I love you too, you doofus.” You felt the pull of a muscle as his lips twitched. “Really?” “Yes. Really. For as long as i can remember.” Soobin, your best friend — now, boyfriend — pulled you into his arms. “I love you, y/f/n. And I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been. What can i say to make you forgive me?” “Words only mean so much. Actions speak louder, don’t you agree?” “I do.” He lowered his head and brushed his lips against yours. “Am i forgiven?” He asked rhetorically. You laugh. “Only because i love you.” “Yes! I told you so!” You turned and saw Kai yelling and celebrating, pointing fingers at beomgyu. Taehyun and yeonjun shaking their heads in disappointment. What a crazy group of friends they were.

#txt post #txt imagines #txt imagine #txt reactions #txt fanfic #soobin fluff #soobin fanfic #soobin imagines

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thechangeling · 3 years

Text

Shame

Kit reflects on his life and his sexual orientation. I guess this is kind of a character study peice but also partly headcanon.

Ok so massive trigger warnings for internalized homophobia and biphobia. Also a 2012 definition and understanding of bisexuality and gender sk sorry about that but I wanted to be accurate to the time period.

I still have a lot of internalized homophobia even in the year of our lord 2021 so I wanted to work through it in my writing I guess.

"I think you're only fighting for the sake of fighting. Because it's the only state in which you can function. The only way to stop that voice in your head from driving you insane. The one telling you that you should be ashamed of yourself for having loved him."

- Black Sails: Season 2 Episide 5

Kit could remember the first time he felt it as clear as day. The first time he felt that twinge at the pit of his stomach after being reprimanded for talking about his crush on a boy. The inward cringe that followed. That disgust others showed him, reflected back onto himself.

Self loathing became as easy as breathing at such a young age.

He could distinctly remember being in mundane first grade and being asked by a loud girl with light blond hair and crystal blue eyes who he had a crush on. Kit had seen no reason to lie at the time. He had told the girl that he had two crushes. One on a girl in their class who was shy and asocial (he had always had a thing for nerds apparently) with her jet black hair that was always full of hello kitty clips, and another on a boy in a different class who was blond like him with a round face and a giant friendly smile that Kit loved to stare at.

At the time he had no real sense of the seriousness of what he was saying. No sense that he was breaking an unspoken rule in the eyes of his classmates. But Kit would never forget the look on the girls face. The eyes that narrowed in distain, the curled lip and the way her nose crinkled in disgust as she she said, "boys arent supposed to have crushes on boys. That's gross." And the cackling laughter of his classmates surrounding him.

And the feeling that followed, the one that would become as familiar and easy as breathing.

Shame.

That pinch in his gut and the way his blood went cold like someone had just injected him with antifreeze. And then the sinking in his chest accompanied by the realization that he had done something terrible. Kit realized that day that he could never make that same mistake again. So after that day he vowed never to talk about his interest in boys ever again.

The first time he heard the word gay he was eight and it was as an insult. It wasn't directed at him but it still felt like it was. He learned to make the connection between the word and disgust and contempt. But as he grew older he became relieved, because he knew he liked girls. He had always thought they were pretty with their soft skin and nice smelling hair. This meant he wasn't gay so he was safe. He convinced himself that he had just been confused before when he was younger.

So he grew up pushing those feelings to the side and telling himself convincing lies over and over until he finally believed it, and Johnny Rook made it easy. Kit was often so preoccupied with running cons and keeping a low profile that he didn't have much time for self reflection. When he found his gaze wandering, he told himself he was just being curious or suspicious or just appreciating an attractive guy from a purely aesthetic point of view and there was absolutely nothing else to it. He kissed pretty girls whenever he had the chance and enjoyed it and relished in the fact that this meant he was safe.

From an outside perspective it may have looked like Kit Herondale was losing control of the situation.

Maybe they were right.

Tiberius Nero Blackthorn felt like a giant fuck you from the universe for believing that he could ever escape this. Or maybe he was a test. But whatever Ty was, it was a little hard to care when he was animatedly explaining the reproductive cycle of a starfish and beaming at Kit with his rare carefree smile that made Kit feel like he was drowning in bliss.

And despite everything. Despite Kit's fear, it made him want to smile too. The urge to reach out and touch Ty was like a burning in his veins, accompanied by the foolish belief that if Kit could just run his fingers through Ty's matted black hair or press his forehead against his, then everything would be alright.

Kit wasn't sure if he should be grateful or furious.

"How beautiful" had been his first thought upon seeing him. Slipping out of some deep treacherous part of him before he could stop it. Followed of course by the shame.

But he wasn't gay. It didn't matter that Ty was beautiful and captivating and made him feel like he was strong enough to fight the gods themselves given the challenge. It didn't mean anything. He was just confused.

And when Julian made a comment about Herondales having a certain type when he called Clary hot, he ignored the twisting of his insides and the painful fact that his thoughts were drifting off into forbidden territory. He pretended that he was what Julian said he was. What he was supposed to be.

When Livvy had asked him to kiss her it felt like a lifeline. A way to distract himself from all the chaos in his life as well as a way to take his mind off of Ty. A pretty girl was giving him something to cling onto, if only for a moment. He still paused to look upwards. An automatic reflex. Almost as if he was a magnet trying to snap back into it's original place.

Livvy kissed him and although it was nice and sweet, he still felt nothing. Only longing for something else.

Then he learned about Kieran and how he was basically Mark's ex boyfriend. He had been sure that Mark was dating Emma so he asked Livvy about it. She had given him a confused look and just said that Mark was bisexual.

Bisexual.

He had heard the word before, mostly to describe celebrities who wanted to make a name for themselves in the tabloids. Kit had always quickly dismissed it before he could allow himself to actually ponder the idea. It was safer to assume it wasn't actually real, because if it wasn't real then it couldn't be him. He wouldn't have to face up to the fact that an attraction to men and women sounded uncomfortably accurate and familiar.

Bisexual. It gnawed at him in his sleep. Poking at his insides and refusing to let him forget it. And so Kit clued his eyes shut and squirmed his way out if it. He thought of the way Ty's smoke coloured eyes seemed to bore into Kit's soul. The sharp angles of his cheekbones and curve of his cupid's bow. Kit thought of the way Ty had asked if he could give Kit a permanent rune and when Kit had answered sarcasticly, Ty's crestfallen expression had horrified him to the point where Kit had practically begged Ty to do it.

Anything to get that look off Ty's face. But it wasn't like that he reminded himself. It wasn't love. It wasn't love.

Jesus. Love. Just the idea of the word sent Kit into a blind panic. And there was that old familiar feeling curling around his gut. That same disgust. That shame.

Not towards Ty. No of course not. He could never feel that way about Ty, or Mark or Kieran or Helen or Aline or anyone else because they didn't deserve it.

But he did. He always did.

When Livvy was killed, Kit almost felt a sense of relief because at least now he had something else to focus on, something g else to worry about. If he was focused on protecting Ty from his own worst instincts then he wouldn't have time to get list I'm thoughts he shouldn't be having.

He knew this made him a selfish horrible person. Kit accepted it.

Kit knew this plan of Ty's was a reckless and horrible idea but he just couldn't stand to see him in pain. He also couldn't bare the thought if what might happen if he refused to help Ty. Also he was helpless in the face of Ty's pleading gaze. Deep down Kit knew that he would probably do anything for him.

He would break himself trying to put Ty back together.

It wasn't until Ty actually attempted the spell that Kit finally cracked. He couldn't let Ty go through with this. He couldn't risk it.

Why? Something inside of him pondered.

Why?

Because Kit was going to die if something happened to Ty. The spell was going to go bad and Ty was going to get hurt or killed and Kit's heart was going to be brutally ripped from his chest and it was going to be unbearable.

Because-

"I love you Ty," he breathed, hating himself instantly. "I love you."

Ty didn't respond. He didn't react, didnt even flinch. Just stared blankly at Kit.

Shame.

It was going to ruin him. It was going to swallow him whole.

Yikes that was kinda all over the place sorry.

I'm basically tagging all if my mutuals at this point. Let me know if you want me to stop tagging you. @scrat-is-god @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @knifescythe @ti-bae-rius @irene-blacxthorn @dianasarrow @doitforthecarstairs @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @zfoxdraws @julieandthefandoms @older-brother-kit @anxiousbookenthusiast @ilikebooks8 @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @autumnangel20 @hufflepuffyskam

Also let me know if you want to be added!

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #kit herondale #twp #ty blackthorn #tw internalized homophobia #tw internalized biphobia

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 3 years

Text

Little Sunshine (Miss Venable x reader x Alice Macray)

okay..hi :) this is reallyyyy long xD And its the story of this 3 cuties and how they fell in love with each other.. Well, its a little bit like the 3. part of “purple roses” (purple roses u can find here: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/640902350735818752/purple-roses-ms-venable-x-reader )

I know, that there is no second part online today, but there will be! If u didnt read the first part, u dont need to, coz i wrote this fanfiction that way, that u dont have to read the first part, i guess its angst idk

anygays my english is a mess, thats why i use google translate:’)

can we just talk about the fact, how perfect alice and mina would match? Mina the hot top with all that bdsm vibes and on the other hand we got the cute and innocent Alice sksksks

I guess Mina is the protagonist of this fanfic

A good description of your relationship would have been complicated. Because it was all incredibly complicated. Don't get me wrong, you loved your girlfriends and they loved you, but sometimes when you woke up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head against your chest, you might just be confused how all of that could be possible.

And sometimes you couldn't help but wonder what your life would be like without one of your girlfriends. But you knew that you could never live without one of them, that was a fact.

You needed both to be happy, there was no other way.

Mina brought firmness and structure into your life. Thanks to her, you had developed routines for your daily routine and were no longer so distracted. And you loved the fact about her that she was more rational than emotional about things.

And every time she went on a business trip and left Alice and you at home alone, a huge mess broke out and all structures were thrown away.

You would oversleep in the morning, be late for work and your house would turn into a huge disaster and mess.

It just wouldn't work without Mina.

Alice, on the other hand, was the most innocent, gentle, and naive person you had ever met. Mina helped you solve your problems, but Alice helped you understand and accept them. In addition, Alice was incredibly cute and she was fantastic at cooking.

And whenever you needed it, she was there to hug you and tell you how much she loved you.

And the proof that it wouldn't work without Alice was the relationship you had with Mina before Alice came into your life. At the moment when everything you had with Mina broke, it seemed like God would have sent a gentle angel to save you.

----------------------

"This is going to be a new record .." you said as you leaned into the door frame to watch your girlfriend who was still working at her desk.

"What do you mean?", She lifted her gaze from her laptop in confusion to stare at you with a frown.

"You have been home for 4 hours and are still working .."

Mina sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I just have to make one phone call and then I'm done .." she muttered with her eyes closed.

"You always say that ..." you started, shaking your head. "One last phone call, one last document, one last email ... and then it's 10 p.m."

Mina was startled at your words and took a quick look at the clock on her laptop. You were right, it was 10 p.m.

"I doesn't matter ..." you sighed and turned to go back into the hallway.

"I'm going to bed, good night Wilhemina ..."

"Good night .." she replied quietly and stared after you.

Wilhemina.

That's what you called her only when you were angry.

Mina swore quietly and grabbed her phone before dialing the directory assistance number and letting it ring.

"Uhm..Hello, you're connected to the directory assistance, I'm Alice ..", came a soft female voice, which sounded a bit too happy for Mina's taste.

"I want you to find Lennox Fischer's private email address for me ..", Mina said in a commanding tone.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment before the woman, Alice, continued.

"We have actually been closed since 6 p.m. .."

"Then you shouldn't have answered the call, could you still find this address for me?" Mina sighed and propped her chin on her palm.

"Give me a minute ... I've only been working here for a few weeks ...", Alice laughed nervously and Mina closed her eyes in annoyance.

"That's when I realize I shouldn't have told you my name .." Alice remarked after a few seconds.

"How tragic .." Mina replied ironically and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Do you have the email address?"

"I'm sorry..but what was the name again?"

"Damn it, it's not that difficult. Then why do you have this job if you can't get anything done anyway? I've rarely met someone who is as damn unqualified as you," barked Mina and slapped the table with the flat of her hand.

"You have no idea .." the other woman yelled back.

"Can you all stop being so impatient with me? I'm only human too ... And all because you're too lazy to look for it yourself and now take out your frustration on me ... I'm getting this right now not paid either, so it takes as long as it takes. And if you have a problem with it, fuck off.."

Miss Venable stared in confusion at the phone in her hand.

"Uhm, I'm sorry ..", she stammered overwhelmed.

"It's just that my girlfriend is impatiently waiting for me to finally get to bed .."

On the other end of the phone, Alice snorted.

"Yours too, yes? Get a divorce from her, even if she's just your girlfriend, it makes everything easier..You know- "

"Lennox Fischer ..", Mina interrupted the woman to bring her back to the subject.

"Oh yeah .. m'sorry .." Alice muttered and laughed nervously again. "You have to know that I got divorced from my husband two months ago and it's all a little bit complicated .."

"Aha."

"Well, I now have his email address, can you write it down? Then I'll dictate it to you .." Alice said and Mina sat down straight again to type in the email address down that Alice dictated to her on the phone.

"Good .." Alice said and sounded polite again.

"Then I thank you for your call and hope I could help you .."

Mina let out a small snort and had to grin at the strange woman.

"I have to thank you .." she muttered before hanging up and finally shutting down her laptop.

When she finally opened the door to your bedroom, you were lying with your back to her in bed and she couldn't tell whether you were still awake or already asleep. She undressed quietly and then climbed into bed behind you.

"Honey?" She whispered softly as she leaned over to gently press kisses against your exposed shoulder. "Are you still awake?"

"Nope .." you made with your eyes closed and Mina laughed quietly.

You blinked against the darkness of the room as you turned your head to face her. Your girlfriend was hunched over you naked, looking guiltily at you. After staring at her for a moment, you reached out your hand to reach behind her head and carefully pulled the hair tie out of her hair. Long red hair fell down her face and the ends of her hair tickled your cheeks.

"I'm done with everything now .." she whispered, smiling gently.

"Now is half past ten ..", your hand slid from the back of her head to her cheek to linger there.

"Now is a little bit late.."

"I know and I'm sorry .." she muttered and you could hear the regret in her voice. But a simple "sorry" wasn't enough for you anymore.

You sighed before you sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"Look, I know you have to work a lot, but sometimes it's just too much you know?"

Mina, who had also leaned against the headboard, nodded shortly before you continued.

"It's not about that the whole thing can't be healthy for you. I mean more us ... Although that might be a bit selfish, I know you love your work, but I uhm .. I don't know- you know, you work all the time and even on weekends and I know it's not your fault, but I just can't do this anymore..I'm sorry that I claim your affection so much, but I just need you and you have no time .. "

Carefully you looked over at Mina, who sadly returned your gaze.

"I'm sorry .." she whispered and grabbed your hand to pull you close to her so you could rest your head on her chest.

"I'll do better, I promise .."

"I know I'm no better myself .." you muttered as she began to comb through your hair gently.

"As a professor at this college, I have to work a lot too, but not until 10 p.m."

"I'll do better .." she repeated and you smiled before leaning over to press your lips against her cheek for a moment.

"That's all I want .." you pulled back and lay back on your side of the bed. Your girlfriend was not long in coming and lay behind you before she put an arm around you and pulled you back to her.

"What do you think if we go out after work tomorrow ..?" She whispered in your ear.

You hummed in agreement. "That's a great idea..".

"Yes?"

"Yeah .." you muttered with your eyes closed.

"Good night Mina ..".

"Good night baby .."

---------------

You slammed the car door angrily before turning around to stomp up the steps to your front door. You were angry. Very angry. After you hurried to get off work as quickly as possible, you drove to the restaurant where you had an appointment, only to wait an hour for someone who didn't come and now you drove back home and then to see Mina's car parked in the garage.

"Wilhemina fucking Venable .." you shouted as you opened the front door.

"How dare you humiliate me so much ..".

You ran to her workspace and as you expected she was sitting at her desk in front of her laptop and seemed to be working. Her brown eyes widened when she saw you angrily standing in the doorway.

"I'm so sorry ..", she stammered and got up.

"Oh of course you are .." you hissed with narrowed eyes.

"I called you 4 times while I sat in this stupid restaurant for an hour .. You can't imagine how embarrassing it was, the waiter felt so sorry for me that I didn't have to pay for my tea .. "

Your girlfriend stared helplessly at you.

"Like I said, I'm sorry, Y / N .. i was just so busy and then I forgot .."

"So do you admit you've forgotten? You know, at one point I thought you might be doing this on purpose because you think it's funny."

"I never could, I-", she began, but you raised your hand to silence her.

"The only problem is that you always do that .." you bit your lip.

"You promise me so often that you will spend time with me only to then skip it for your work .. Then just leave it straight away and I don't always have to make myself hopes, only to be disappointed ..".

"Y / N please .. I'm as good as finished .. We can still go somewhere and have dinner ..", she looked at you desperately, but you just shook your head.

"Just forget it, Mina .." you muttered before turning around to leave her workspace . She looked after you sadly before let out a frustrated moan and slumped back into her desk chair.

How could she have forgotten?

Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and dialed the directory assistance number like the night before.

"Hello, you are connected to Directory Assistance .." said the same soft voice as last night.

"Alice ..", Mina remarked and didn't really want to notice.

"Ohh you're the rude woman from last night .." Alice laughed on the other end of the phone.

"The one with the impatient girlfriend .."

"Now more likely the one with the hating girlfriend ..".

"What did you do wrong?", Mina could hear real concern in the woman's voice and that confused her. She didn't even know this woman.

"She's upset because I always move her for work .." she mumbled.

"It's not your fault if you have to work."

"Exactly! ..", Mina shouted loudly and was surprised by her own volume.

At the other end it was quiet and Mina noticed that the whole thing was more than just private right now. She cleared her throat just before continuing.

"Can you find out Leigh Chaplin's phone number for me?"

"Of course..give me a minute .." Alice muttered and Mina heard Alice tapping on the keyboard through the receiver. For a brief moment Mina thought about just hanging up. That call was quite weird and had taken on a very personal direction. But just when she really wanted to hang up, Alice began to dictate the phone number to her and she had to take notes.

--------------------

Mina had decided to make amends for what had happened a few days ago. The only problem was, whenever you had time, she couldn't. And once she was done with everything, you had to work. It was a never-ending cycle that dragged you both further and further down. And the worst part was that you both knew that and still couldn't do anything about it. She loved her work as much as you loved yours and neither of you would ever be willing to sacrifice your work for the other.

And yet Mina had decided to make it up to you and that meant for her to help you with saving time. That's why she was now at the city library to bring back the books for you that you had borrowed a few weeks ago. Actually you had your own little library in your house, because you valued books very much, but at some point all these books were read and you were both not people who read books again.

And as a college professor, you had a habit of researching books rather than the internet anyway.

Here she was now, hobbling her stick through the library building. Which turned out to be quite difficult as she was holding your books in one arm and then had to go through the big building with her stick. If she were to trip and fall, she would have no way of catching herself. Mina knew that this would probably never happen, but still she didn't like the feeling.

But of course it happened as it had to, as always in such situations. It wasn't Mina who fell, but it was one of the books that slipped out of the crook of her arm and landed with a thud on the wooden floor of the library. How much she hated that ... such situations were almost unbearable for her. Simply because it was embarrassing to know that because of her scoliosis she was unable to bend down to pick up the book herself.

She wanted to swear loudly, but she knew that a library might not be the best place for this. She poked her senselesslyn stick around on the book and tried to put it upright somehow, only to grab it. But it was useless. Of course it had to be the thickest of your books that she had dropped. Her stick seemed to be against it like a thin branch.

"Let me help you .." suddenly came a soft voice from behind her and made her flinch. Mina turned around and looked into the friendly face of a petite woman with light brown hair.

"Your book ..", the woman said when Mina didn't answer and pointed to it with an outstretched finger. Again Miss Venable didn't answer and just stared at the woman in front of her. She was 100% sure she had never seen her before, but her voice ... She knew that soft voice, she just didn't know where from.

Without hesitating for another second, the strange woman bent down and picked up the book.

"You are welcome ..", she smiled and put the book back in the crook of Mina.

"Thank you ..", Mina mumbled, still staring at the woman in front of her, confused.

"I'm sorry, but do we know each other?"

"I think I would know that..", the woman laughed and suddenly Mina knew who she was looking at.

"You're Alice .." she uttered. "Alice from directory assistance ..".

Alice's eyes widened.

"Then you must be the one with the impatient, hating girlfriend .."

Mina's pale skin turned red at the other woman's words and she began tapping the floor with her stick in an irregular rhythm, as she always did when she was nervous.

"I may have exaggerated a bit .." she muttered. "She doesn't hate me ..".

"Well, I'm glad .." Alice honestly smiled before she nodded at the books in Mina's arms with her chin. "By the way, you have a very good taste in books .."

Mina's gaze followed that of the woman in front of her and landed on the book that she had dropped.

"Oh..these aren't my books, my girlfriend read them .."

"So she has a very good taste in books ...".

Mina nodded briefly while she was still staring at Alice. The fact that she had actually met this woman was so weird that it couldn't be a coincidence.

"Uhm .. I should bring the books back .." she muttered and Alice nodded quickly.

"I can wait .." said Alice.

"So .. if you want .." she added quickly when she noticed Mina frown.

Mina narrowed her eyes while she could only stare again. Alice exuded such confidence and she was so kind, it was like she couldn't help but agree.

"Okay .." Mina muttered. "Just give me a minute ..".

Alice's eyes began to glow.

"Perfect .." she said, beaming. "I'll wait outside."

Mina nodded shortly before leaving Alice to return the books.

"Where is your car?" Mina asked Alice as she stepped out of the library.

"Oh uhm I came here on foot .." Alice muttered and Mina frowned.

"It's getting dark .." she said curtly and Alice, who obviously didn't know what to do with that remark, nodded shortly.

"I can drive you home."

Mina studied Alice's face for any dislikes, but the woman just smiled again.

"That would be nice..".

Mina nodded again before going to her car with Alice.

"Well ..", Mina began after getting into the car with Alice.

"Where do you live?" She looked at Alice from the side, who was desperately trying to put the strap over her blouse so that it wouldn't crease.

"Uhm..Woodhill Avenue ..", the woman mumbled when she was finally satisfied.

"You can't be serious ..", Mina stared at Alice, not sure whether to laugh or be upset. "We live on the same street .."

"Oh really?" Alice's eyes lit up again.

Mina just hummed in agreement before starting the car.

For a few minutes they drove through the crowded streets and neither said a word. And although something like that was usually uncomfortable, at that moment it was actually quite pleasant, at least that's what Mina thought.

"Actually we know the whole neighborhood, but I've never heard of an Alice, nor have I seen you ...", she said finally as she turned into the long street of Woodhill Avenue.

"Well .. actually I don't live there .. I think I told you that I separated from my husband and since then I've been living with my daughter ..", Alice explained and Mina didn't even need to look at her to see how the woman was uncomfortable with the topic.

"I'm sorry .." she said curtly.

"Oh no .. you know, I'm happy the way it is now, at least I'm happier than I was with Buck a few months ago ..".

Mina didn't know what to answer, so she decided not to say anything again.

"Do you know the people who live in this house?" Alice suddenly asked and pointed to the building that Mina referred to as her home. "Venable and Y / L / N are their names .. My daughter told me that everyone is afraid of them .."

Mina stared at Alice and when she realized that the woman was serious, she started to laugh.

"Is it really that bad that everyone is afraid of us?", Mina said and couldn't help but grin as she watched the eyes of the woman next to her widen.

"Wait..I- you live in the house with your girlfriend?" Alice stammered and Mina nodded.

"I'm so sorry ... God ..this embarrassing .."

Alice buried her face in her hands and stared between her fingers at the house where you lived with Mina.

"Well, it's a nice house ..", she muttered, trying to get out of this situation somehow. Mina just snorted in amusement before continuing down the street with the car.

"Which house does your daughter live in?"

"In the green one over there .." Alice muttered and Mina's eyes landed on a green low-rise building.

"Ohh your daughter is Evangeline ..", Mina remarked as she parked the car in front of the house.

"You know her?" Alice sounded confused.

Mina nodded.

"I've never really spoken to her before, but I know her .."

"Okay .." Alice frowned before reaching for the seat belt to unbuckle her.

"That's when I notice, I don't even know what your name is ..".

"Miss Venable .." Mina said curtly and bit the inside of her cheek.

"uhm..or Wilhemina .."

Alice smiled.

"Well, then thank you, Wilhemina, for taking me home .."

"Good Night, Alice ..", Mina muttered and had to smile again.

"Good Night .." Alice repeated before getting out of the car and disappearing into the green house. And Mina couldn't help but stare after her.

In her mind, for whatever reason, she was back on the day the two of you had met in the flower shop where you had been working at the time. Even then, she had wanted to smile all the time.

When Mina finally stood in front of the house for a few minutes and finally decided to go home, she felt nothing but guilty feelings and she did not know who these feelings were for: Alice, because Mina had let her go or you, because she felt exactly the same things right now as she did when you and Mina first met.

----------------------

It was Saturday evening and Alice was on her way to the house of the interesting woman she had met in person a few days ago. Somewhere she had a guilty conscience, as it was already 10 p.m. and it was probably impolite to disturb Mina so late, but she really wanted to see Wilhemina again and at the same time she really wanted to get to know you.

She stepped onto the site of your house and hesitantly raised her hand to the bell before finally pressing her finger against the little button.

When two minutes later still nothing had moved, Alice actually wanted to turn around and go home, but then she remembered that Mina probably needed longer due to her stick and that's why she stayed. And actually a few seconds later an angry looking Mina opened the door for her.

When Alice saw Mina's angry look, she was afraid for a moment that she had more than just disturbed, but when Mina recognized her, her look softened.

"Alice .." Mina uttered happily and Alice could see the woman in front of her trying to suppress a smile, which she failed.

"Uhm..I hope I'm not bothering .." Alice gave Mina, who quickly shook her head, a bright smile.

"No .." said the woman, her face serious again. "How can I help you?"

"Uhm well, I've got something for your girlfriend .." Alice muttered as she reached into her pocket to get the book out before she passed it to Mina.

"I saw on Thursday that your friend had checked out the first part .. I thought she might want to read the second part too .. It doesn't exist in the library .."

"Oh that's nice ..", Mina picked up the book.

"But unfortunately she's not at home all weekend because of a seminar .."

Alice frowned

"Are you sure you're the one who transfers his girlfriend because of work?" She asked and watched Mina just shake her head.

"I think you have a completely wrong picture of her ..", Mina muttered and chewed her lower lip.

"Isn't that important either, do you want to come in?"

"Sure .." Alice nodded quickly and started smiling again.

When Mina led Alice into the living room, Alice couldn't help but be impressed. The walls of the great room were lined up with full bookshelves sorted in alphabetical order. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling and was not switched on because a fire was burning in a large marble fireplace. In the middle of the room was a large dark red carpet on which a dark wing chair, a couch made of the same dark fabric and a square wooden table with short table legs stood.

Alice's gaze caught on the wing chair Mina had obviously been sitting in, before Alice rang the bell. A blanket lay untidy on the seat, covered with an open book and on the table was a half-empty glass with red wine. On the edge of the glass Alice could see traces of Mina's dark lipstick.

"Excuse the chaos, please ..", she heard Mina say behind her. Alice let out a low snort.

"Chaos .." she repeated mumbling and turned to Mina. Except for the few things on the wing chair, the house seemed to have been furnished down to the last detail.

"Do you drink wine?" Asked Mina, clutching her stick with both hands.

"Sure." Alice replied curtly.

"Red or white?"

"White, please ..".

"Well, then wait here for a moment ..", Mina said before turning around to leave the room.

Alice looked after the woman briefly before going to the dark sofa to sit on it. She sat there for a moment, but then the pictures on the mantelpiece caught her eye and she got up again to walk to the fireplace to take a closer look at the pictures.

All of the pictures showed Mina and a woman Alice was unfamiliar with, but Alice was smart enough to say that it was you, Mina's girlfriend.

And she noticed that Mina was right when she said Alice had the wrong picture of you. You didn't see at all like someone that could be impatient or strict. All these pictures showed you laughing honestly, with a cocky twinkle in your eyes. And of course Mina, who, as always, tried to suppress her smile. Alice grinned at the thought.

Each picture showed a different moment, presumably dates or vacations and all in one, Alice thought that you and Mina looked cute together, at least in the photos.

"So you've already discovered Y / N's altar .." mumbled Mina, who suddenly appeared next to Alice.

"Oh yes .. It's cute ..", Alice said and took the glass of white wine, which Mina held out to her before she mumbled a little "thank you".

"I think it's rather cheesy, but it was her idea ..", Mina stared critically at the pictures and for a few seconds neither said anything.

"She's pretty .." Alice finally remarked and Mina just nodded.

"She is.."

Alice's gaze wandered carefully from the pictures to Mina, who was staring sadly down at the pictures.

"You know, I think this is what I like the most .." she suddenly mumbled and tapped an actually inconspicuous picture with her finger. It showed you both in your winter coats squinting your eyes against the flash of the selfie camera. It was also pretty blurry.

"I know it's nothing special .." Mina explained. "But the moment behind it was special ... It was New Year's Eve last year and shortly before midnight we climbed onto the roof of the skyscraper in which she lived at the time, to watch the fireworks from there. I remember exactly how she was angry when I forced her to come on the roof with me .. it was pretty cold ..

But I wanted it to be special when I propose to her .. "

Alice's eyes widened.

"Are you engaged?"

Mina shook her head and smiled sadly.

"We were engaged .. but she broke off the engagement three months ago until .. until things were settled .. You already know how complicated everything is at the moment .."

Alice looked worriedly into Mina's sad eyes before slowly nodding.

"I understand .." she said softly.

"You know, I really love her, but it's just so weird .." Mina pinched the bridge of her nose. "I met her a couple of years ago in the flower shop she worked and earned next to nothing and actually had a shitty life, and now she's been working as a professor for a college for a few months and is finally happy with that... and that is great, don't get me wrong, but we hardly have no time for each other, because now she also has to work long hours ... and it's like she pretends that it's all my fault .. "

"I'm sorry .." Alice muttered before stretching out her arms and pulling the woman into a hug. Alice felt that Mina was uncomfortable when she lay tense in her arms, but when she wanted to withdraw, Mina quickly put her arms around Alice and hugged her back. Alice put her head on Mina's shoulder and inhaled the woman's lavender perfume. They stayed that way for a few minutes, until Mina finally cleared her throat and withdrew.

"M'sorry .." she muttered without looking at Alice and Alice could see the tear marks on her face.

"We shouldn't talk about this anymore .."

Alice nodded quickly. "If I got too close to you, I'm sorry .. "

She followed Mina, who sat down on the couch and sat with enough space next to her.

"Now that you've heard my shit, I'd love to hear yours .." Mina said, giving Alice a subtle sideways look. Alice blinked a few times and thought about it for a moment. Actually, she didn't really know the woman and a divorce is not really a pleasant topic for an evening like this, but a few seconds ago Mina had stood in her arms and cried, so what was wrong with it?

"Uhm .. so I've been divorced for 2 months ..", she began and for the next two hours she told Mina the whole story with Phyllis Schlafly, the E.R.A. and that Houston had somehow opened her eyes and she'd been working on directory assistance ever since. She told Mina about her children and that she couldn't believe she was a grandma. And then she told her about Buck and that for a few years she had wondered if what she had with him was really what she wanted the rest of her life to be.

To be honest, Alice wouldn't normally have been so talkative if it wasn't because of the alcohol. She usually didn't drink, so a glass of Mina's expensive white wine was enough to get her drunk.

"You know, I only noticed now how bad that asshole was in bed ..." she laughed out loud and held onto Mina's thigh. "Well in any case our house belongs to him and I have to live with my daughter .."

Mina, who was just as sober as she was a few hours earlier, might have been a little overwhelmed by Alice's drunkenness, but somehow she found it incredibly cute.

"I'm sorry .." she muttered and Alice missed the worried look the woman was giving her.

"Yikes .." Alice suddenly made as she stared intently at the clock on the wall.

"Am I wrong or is it 14 minutes past midnight?"

Mina was shocked at her words and had to find out that it was actually that late.

"I should call your daughter, then she can pick you up ..".

"Oh let Evangeline sleep .." Alice waved her off.

"I can just sleep with you .. you know I like you, you're nice to me and don't treat me like the failure that I am. Even if you were pretty mean to me on the phone ..".

Alice grinned crookedly before leaning forward and dropping her head into Mina's lap. Mina winced and immediately got up to let Alice rudely fall back on the sofa. The drunk woman let out a low wail and looked reproachfully up at Mina.

"We should put you to bed .." she mumbled and pulled Alice into an upright position before she gently grabbed her arm and pulled her up the stairs with her.

"Uhm .. this is the guest room ...", Mina muttered as they stood in the door frame of the room. Alice stared into the beautifully decorated guest room, which was so much better than the sofa she'd slept on for months. But it wasn't what she wanted.

"You know, I can sleep with you..", she remarked and looked carefully at Mina, who seemed frozen.

"Okay .." Mina finally said before stepping out of the doorway and leading Alice into your bedroom.

A large king-size bed stood with its head against the wall and filled most of the room. One side of the bed faced the door. Alice' gaze ran to the bedside cabinet on this side of the bed and could see reading glasses, a pill box and a tube of some kind of cream next to a small lamp. She suspected that Mina slept here. The other nightstand was a lot messier. Unused kleenex were piled on top of each other while a pair of gold earrings lay on the lamp stand. On one corner of the cupboard was an empty glass, but it was definitely used. And then there was a big black hairbrush and either it was Mina's red hair that was caught in it or you had the same hair color as your girlfriend, which Alice found unlikely. On the wall next to this side of the bed was a large painting with some flowers on it. Alice's eyes wandered to a large ground plant that stood in the corner of the room. She noticed that she had seen beautiful flowers all over the house and she remembered Mina saying that you had once worked in a flower shop.

All in all it was a nice bedroom, but Alice only saw the best part when she had stepped completely into the room:

On the wall opposite the foot of the bed was a huge picture window, which allowed a view of the neighborhood and the beautiful night sky. That was the advantage if you didn't live in the city. Alice couldn't help but grin than her eyesremained hanging on the black grand piano, which crowned the bedroom on top of everything else.

"A piano in the bedroom?", She turned to Mina, grinning, who turned red for whatever reason.

"Y / N can play the piano and when I gave this one to her, she wanted it to be here ..", Mina explained and nervously began tapping the floor with her stick to a random rhythm.

"It's pretty cheesy, but you should hear her play ...".

Alice nodded quickly and put on a neutral expression again when she realized that Mina didn't like her grin.

"I imagine it would be nice to wake up in the morning and then hear the piano .." she muttered and looked back at the piano.

"Anyway ..", Mina said and held her stick tighter again.

"We're about the same size, you can have my nightgown if you want ..".

Alice turned back to her and gave the woman a grateful smile.

"That would be nice..".

Mina only nodded shortly before she left the room, only to come back a minute later in a lavender nightgown.

"I'm going to change in the bathroom while you can do this here ..", she explained as Alice took the nightgown and mumbled a little "thank you".

And less than 5 minutes later Alice, who was actually still drunk, was lying in bed next to a completely stranger and, like Mina, stared at the ceiling in silence. And yet she would have preferred nowhere and it was the first evening in weeks that she could fall asleep without any worries.

---------------------

Contrary to Mina's guess, the next morning hadn't been weird at all. Actually nothing special had happened, but Mina had been worried about Alice's drunkenness, but the woman had been kind as always.

And while everything was fine between Alice and her, she worried about what was between her and you. She felt incredibly guilty and could never have told you that a strange woman had slept in your bed. Mina knew that Alice was way too innocent to think anything about it when she and Mina shared the bed, but you didn't know Alice and you would never understand.

Miss Venable couldn't deny that the brunette had turned her head. Alice was so gentle, it was almost impossible to feel uncomfortable in her presence and Mina finally had someone who understood her and who showed her compassion.

And when you came home on Sunday night and she pushed you right against your front door to kiss you passionately, she did that not only to show you how much she had missed you, but also to prove to herself that she still loved you . Because she did, but what she felt when she saw Alice confused her feelings and it scared her.

It was Thursday afternoon and Mina was on her way home. She had tried again and again over the past few days to show you how much she loved you, but for whatever reason, that only made it worse. At least you just seemed to get a little bit more bitter every day, and she couldn't explain why.

Mina let out an aggressive growl when she sounded the horn because the light turned green and the idiot in front of her stopped driving.

She had got out of work late and now had to hurry to get home, even if she didn't really want to go there. You'd only be disappointed again because she was late again.

Nervously, she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove home as fast as she could. She was almost in your street when she spotted none other than Alice on the pedestrian path and automatically her bad mood had flown away. Mina stopped next to Alice on the side of the road before pulling down the passenger door window to see Alice's surprised face.

"Jesus Mina .." Alice exclaimed, clutching her chest.

Mina raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"I thought church mice dont swear ..".

"Actually, I don't swear either .." Alice stammered. "But do you have any idea how scary it is when someone pulls up their car next to you?"

"So am I someone then?"

"No .. but .. you know what I mean ..".

Mina nodded curtly before leaning forward to open the passenger door.

"I guess, you want to go home?"

"Oh yes ..", Alice smiled gratefully at Mina before climbing into the car.

"So how are you Mina?" Alice asked after they had driven for a few minutes.

"M'fine ..", Mina mumbled and was well aware that she was lying.

"Good to hear .." Alice said, sounding in as good a mood as ever.

"How did Y / N find the book?"

Fuck.

Mina bit her lip.

"So uhm..I didn't give it to her..Y / N doesnt know you were with me .. "

"Oh ..", uttered the woman next to her and didn't sound that happy anymore.

"I may not be allowed to interfere, but I think you should talk to her .."

"About what?" Mina frowned.

"About how you feel .. Tell Y / N that you feel misunderstood and make it clear to her that it is not your fault ..".

Mina didn't answer and concentrated on driving again.

"You know, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, so talk to her, I think that might help .."

Great, thought Mina and bit the inside of her cheek. Talking about feelings, that was exactly her thing.

She stopped in silence next to Alice's daughter's green house.

"Thanks, Mina ..", Alice mumbled and wanted to open the car door to get out, but Mina stopped her by locking the whole car.

Alice turned to her in confusion before Mina grabbed her by the collar of her blouse, pulled her close and pressed her lips against Alice's.

Alice let out a shocked whimper and Mina immediately withdrew.

For a few seconds both women stared at each other. Alice looked totally overwhelmed and horrified, while Mina slowly realized what she had just done.

Without a word she opened the car doors and not a second later Alice jumped out of the car before running into the house.

A few minutes passed and Mina didn't move an inch. She stared at the street in front of her, trying to understand what had just happened.

All she wanted was to solve the problems between you and her and now she had kissed another woman. Damn it.

She let out a loud scream and hit the steering wheel before leaning forward to lean her forehead against it. A few more minutes passed while she cried against the leather. She hated being so emotional, right now when so many feelings were boiling in her at the same time and she couldn't define all of these things.

After she had calmed down a bit, she took a few deep breaths before starting the car and driving home.

"I'm home, baby .." she called in a thin voice after entering your house.

"Oh, finally ..", she heard you sigh before you appeared in the hallway. Your usual smile faded when you saw her and you frowned.

"What?" Mina asked nervously and chewed her lower lip.

"You have lipstick on your face ..", your voice sounded dark and made Mina nervous.

"Oh .. it must be smeared .." she said and smiled shakily.

"This is not your lipstick .."

Mina's smile froze and she stared at you.

"So you're really having an affair .." you growled and she could see tears glistening in your eyes.

"What the- Y / N..No ..", Mina's voice faltered as she watched you turn around and pointed with your finger to follow you before you led her into your study.

"If you're not having an affair, what is that ..", you opened one of your desk drawers and put a white lace bra on it.

"I found it under our bed and it can't be yours .. you're not wearing white underwear .."

Mina stared at Alice's bra hanging on your finger.

"Okay, how long?", You looked at her piercingly.

"I uhm- We dont-" Mina struggled for words and clung to her cane.

"You just can't be serious .." you yelled. "All I want is your affection and while I give everything to hang out with you, you fuck someone else?"

"I'm not having an affair, Y / N ..", Mina tried to calm you down and held up a hand.

"Oh, then explain to me why I find strange underwear under our bed and why your face is such a mess .. You know, you could have at least tried to hide the whole thing ..".

"Please let me explain ..", Mina chewed her lower lip and briefly considered what to say.

"Well I know you from the directory assistance ..-"

"Ohh, phone sex..", you interrupted her and raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell, no y / n ..", Mina hissed.

"It turned out that she lives in the neighborhood and then she was here on Saturday and slept here, more not .."

"More not? Are you kidding me?", You spat and ran your hair through. "You let this stranger sleep in my bed and you don't tell me about it? .."

Mina didn't know how to answer it, so she just kept silent.

"Did you have sex?" You asked as you crossed your arms and chewed your lower lip.

"She never could, she-"

"Okay, I'll ask differently ..", you pinched the bridge of your nose.

"Did you want to have sex with her?"

Mina stared at you with wide eyes. In her mind she traveled back to Saturday night when she had been lying in bed next to Alice and staring at the ceiling. She remembered it well, how disgustedt she was of herself, but all she wanted to do at the moment was bend over the innocent woman to do the dirtiest things to her. Things Alice didn't even dare to dream of. All she wanted was to hear the desperate whimpering of the women and how she shouted her name.

But Mina could never have done that, partly because her loyalty was yours and partly because Alice was far too innocent for something like that.

"Wow .." you mumbled when she didn't answer.

"And then that bitch kissed you today ...?"

"Don't call her that ..", Mina defended Alice. "And besides, I kissed her ..".

"Oh..That's even better ..." you screamed as tears ran from your eyes.

"Congratulations Wilhemina, something like that is called an affair ..".

Angrily you threw the bra at Mina before you ran past her back into the hallway. Mina followed you and watched sadly as you packed your handbag with simple things.

"I'm going to see my mother .." you explained without looking at her while you put on your jacket. "I have to think about a few things ... I have no idea how long I'll be gone ... I also have no idea if I'll ever come back ...".

That was the last thing you said before you ran out of your house and left her with all the guilt.

-----------------------

You spent three weeks with your mother. Three long weeks of thinking about everything that had happened. You loved Mina so much, and the fact that there was probably someone else almost killed you. And actually you hadn't meant to come back to her, no matter that all your things were still in her house, but you were too scared that you would then have to see how she got over you and went on with her life.

After all, it was your mother who persuaded you to go to Mina to talk to her.

And now you stood in front of the door of your house and at least from the outside it looked exactly as you had left it. You bravely raised your hand to the door to knock gently on it.

And when Mina opened the door a minute later, you couldn't help but stare at her. You thought you looked like shit, but Mina topped it all. The actually proud woman was just a pile of misery when she opened the door for you that day. The red hair curled untidily over the fabric of her pajamas as she trembled on her stick. She was obviously in pain and probably hadn't taken her pills, something you usually reminded her of. You looked carefully into her face, which seemed even paler than usual, and noticed how she squinted her eyes against the sunlight, she didn't seem to have left the house for a long time.

For a moment you both stared at each other and you felt guilt creep up inside you.

"Can I come in?" You finally asked and looked carefully into her cloudy eyes that were staring down at you. Mina nodded slowly.

"It's your home ..." she muttered before stepping out of the doorway and hobbling into the living room. Without hesitation you ran after her after the door had closed behind you. You sat down next to Mina, who was staring into the empty fireplace, on the couch and also stared at the fireplace, but your attention was focused on the photos on the mantelpiece.

"You didn't take your pills .." you mumbled and she just hummed in agreement.

"..uhm, how are you?" you tried again before carefully looking at her from the side.

"M'great .." she muttered.

"Okay.."

"And how are you?" She asked while she was still staring into the fireplace.

"I'm great too."

Mina snorted.

"So we're both liars."

You ignored her comment and got to the real reason you came.

"Okay Mina, uhm i dont know- So about this woman .. I don't know what you had or just didn't have with her ..-"

"I had nothing with her ..", she interrupted you with a growl.

"You understand that I can understand that pretty badly?", You bit your lower lip and watched as Mina shook her head.

"I think you should get to know her .." she muttered and you frowned.

"So are you still in contact with her?"

Mina shrugged her shoulders.

"You should get to know her," she repeated.

"Okay .." you raised both hands in surrender. "Tell me when and where and I'll be there ..".

"Are you coming home then?" She whispered as she finally turned away from the fireplace and her injured eyes met yours.

"I .. I don't know ..", you stammered. "Please let me get to know this woman first .."

Mina nodded just before she got up and left the living room.

"What are you doing?" You called after her, confused.

"I'll call her .. "she muttered.

Your eyes widened.

"She's not coming here now, is she?"

"No ..", Mina called from the hallway. You didn't answer and after a few seconds you heard her talking softly to someone before she came back into the living room and stood in the doorway.

"You will meet her tomorrow in the café next to the library ..", she explained.

"Tomorrow I have to work late .."

"I know .." she said. "That's why you don't meet until 6 pm .."

"Okay .." you nodded briefly and stared at her for a few seconds.

"Uhm, I actually wanted to take some clothes with me .. For three weeks I've had to wear the shit my mother still had from me .."

"It's your home..", Mina replied shortly as she again clutched her stick with both hands.

You jumped up from the sofa to run past her up the stairs. In your dressing room you quickly packed a few clothes in an old sports bag before you turned around and actually wanted to go again, but then the white bra of this woman caught your eye, which was lost in the window sill. You knew stuffing that stupid thing in your gym bag might not be a good idea, but you would do anything to break the owner of this bra, for something to do with your girlfriend.

You ran back down the stairs where Mina was waiting for you in the hallway.

"I should go now .." you muttered as she stared at you expectantly. She nodded sadly.

"Uhm..Can I hug you?" She asked quietly and looked at you carefully.

"uh..of course ..", you nodded slowly before suddenly finding yourself in her arms again. She hugged you so tight that you were afraid you would suffocate. Her red hair tickled your face and for the first time in three weeks you could inhale her lavender perfume while she clung to you like her life depended on it.

"I am so sorry ..", she whispered and you swallowed when you felt guilty again.

"I should go now .." you repeated and withdrew from her arms.

She just nodded before you stumbled to the front door.

"Uhm..Y / N ..", she called after you when you were already out the door. You turned back to her and looked at her questioningly.

"Yes?"

"Alice didn't do anything wrong, so please don't kill her tomorrow ..".

You nodded just before turning to go to your car.

Alice.

--------------

"Damn .." you cursed as you nervously stared at your watch.

18:23

You parked your car in the library parking lot and walked briskly to the café.

Your gaze wandered through the almost empty room. Two men were sitting at a table and playing chess, an old woman was sitting in a corner and drinking coffee, and then your gaze was fixed on the graceful figure of a woman who was sitting with her back turned to you. It has to be her, you thought as you stared at her hazel hair curled up on a pastel colored blouse.

You got a little nervous when you approached her from behind.

"Uhm..Alice ..?" You asked and the woman winced slightly before turning to you and staring into her friendly eyes.

"You must be Y / N .." she said with a bright smile and got up.

"Uhm..ja .." you mumbled with a frown before you sat down across from her.

"I'm sorry ..I'm late .."

"Oh its okay .." Alice waved her hand before she sat down again. "Mina told me about your work .."

"Did she?", You looked at her confused and she just hummed in agreement.

You used the next few seconds to take in the woman in front of you and understood what Mina had meant. Alice looked so harmless and didn't fall into the category of the horny neighbor slut at all.

You cleared your throat and pointed with your index finger at the cup in front of you.

"What's this?"

"Tea," Alice said curtly. "She told me that you drink tea .."

The furrow on your forehead only got a little deeper as you pulled your eyebrows together a little further.

"She seems to have told you a lot about me .."

"I also know that you play the piano .." Alice replied, sounding kind of proud.

"She had to explain the piano in our bedroom .." you growled darkly as you remembered that this woman had slept in your bed.

"Y / N, she loves you .." she said and looked at you piercingly.

"I'm not sure about this.."

"Okay .." Alice sighed before starting to tell you the whole story from her point of view. How Mina had called her directory assistance late at night, how they met by chance in the library and how she ended up at your home on Saturday evening.

You listened to her attentively without interrupting her and with everyoneSentence made you feel a little worse because everything she said made sense.

"You must know, I never kissed a woman before and- you know ..." Alice muttered, staring at the table.

"And I thought it was a sin all my life and when Mina kissed me I wasn't really happy at first. You know, I was with her on a Tuesday two weeks ago to talk to her about it and she was really sad..- "

"Did she tell you she loves you?" You interrupt her.

"She-" Alice's voice faltered. "She apologized and said she was confused .."

You stared at her in silence.

"I don't want to offend you, Y / N, but Mina feels totally misunderstood by you .. She tries to do everything right and you reject her .. As if it was her fault that she has to work so hard .. And even if she doesn't seem like anyone that gets involved with something like that, she feels totally terrible about it all .. You didn't see how she cried when I was with her that Tuesday .. "

You looked at Alice sadly when you understood what she meant.

"Damn I'm such an idiot .." you muttered, rubbing your hair.

"There's something else, Y / N .." Alice sat up straight before continuing.

"When I was with her on Tuesday, I kissed her again ..".

Her words made you freeze.

"You did what?"

"You already understand me .." Alice said, looking at each other nervously.

"Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?"

"I kissed her."

"Okay .." you frowned.

"She loves you .." Alice repeated, putting her hand on yours.

Tears stung your eyes.

"But she loves you too ..", you croaked as you felt warm tears running down your face. Alice reached out her hand to wipe the tears from your face.

"Maybe .." she said softly. "But you mustn't be mad at her for that, it's not her fault .. Mina and I don't have an affair or anything, she loves you too much for that .."

"And do you love her?"

Alice thought for a few seconds before answering.

"I don't know to be honest .. This is all new to me, if you get what I mean .."

You nodded slowly and thought for a moment about everything she had just told you.

"I uhm .. thanks for trying to explain everything to me .." you finally said.

The woman in front of you smiled gently before taking her hand back.

"I hope you don't hate me now or anything.."

"Oh no!" You shouted loudly. "You are really kind .."

"Thank you," Alice muttered, her eyes shining a little more.

You stared at her for another moment and you could totally understand that Mina found this little sunshine attractive.

"Uhm by the way .." you started and reached into your handbag.

"I uhm .. I brought your bra .."

You put the bra on the table and pushed it over to the woman.

"Thank you .." Alice mumbled embarrassed and blushed, which made you grin.

She was really cute.

And that was your first "date" with Alice. Although one would call this educational talk less than a date. That same evening you drove back home and by home you meant Mina and not your mother's house.

The following months were more than overwhelming for you, Mina and Alice. Mina and you both applied for less working time at your work, which you also received and you had more time for each other.

That wasn't what overwhelmed you so much, the problem was, that it was pretty difficult for all 3 of you to come to terms with how you felt about each other.

After all, Mina got along best with it because she was the one of you who had been confronted with it the longest.

For her sake you accepted her love for Alice and began to meet the brunette more often and at some point you had to find out that you too were hopelessly in love with Alice.

Alice struggled with it though. The mere fact that she was in love with one woman scared her and then there were two. It was pretty hard for her to put aside all of her lesbian advantages and what her church said about you. Fortunately, Alice's children had different opinions and were glad that their mother was happy again after the divorce.

You and Mina were a little afraid of Alice's extended family, but they had all been nice to you and there was almost nothing better for you than to take care of Alice's grandchildren.

It took a while, but finally Alice also managed to get rid of her inhibitions and give herself completely to you.

And sometimes when you wake up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head to your chest and you were wondering how all this was even possible, you were probably the happiest person on earth at the same time.

And all you needed for that was the little sunshine in your arms while the red hair of your beautiful protector tickled your face.

#wilhemina venable x reader #alice macray x reader #wilhemina venable x reader x alice macray #wilhemina venable imagine #sarah paulson x reader #alice macray imagine

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bubblybubbubs · 4 years

Text

Bland (1)

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Royalty AU

Summary: Draco Malfoy is the Prince of Ebery and hates being a royal so when he meets you he calls himself a different name to hide his royal status.

Warning: Cursing

AN: hope you guys like this i definitely have an idea to make this a series <3 also this was very roughly inspired by the barbie princess and the pauper movie . had to repost because it wasn’t showing up in tags the first time?

btw a governess according to google is like a royal nanny.

Draco Malfoy lead a bland life. He knew he was lucky to have the riches he had, to be born a prince of Ebery, but he truly had hated his life. He had hated waking up everyday to please everyone other than himself with the same court niceties.

It was selfish of him but he wanted to just be Draco, not ‘Your Highness’ or ‘Prince Draco’. The formalities were just a reminder of how his life had been decided for him the minute he was born.

He only had two real friends Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass, the only two tolerable members of the court.

Anyone else was ancient or insufferable, such as Vincent Crabbe his cousin who he could not stand. Crabbe was almost an exact opposite of Draco, which was interesting considering they had been raised by the same governess.

Crabbe was all too eager to jump at any chance of power, there were countless times he had told his grandfather how unfit Draco was to be King. There was little Crabbe wouldn’t do for the crown, Draco was lucky it wasn’t passed down or Crabbe might have killed to get his hands on it.

In Ebery the monarch would chose any one from his lineage to rule after his/her passing, this was always announced the day after the Monarch’s death which left a lot of animosity between the possible heirs.

Draco didn’t want the crown and he was pretty sure he wouldn’t get it even if he did, Abraxos Malfoy wasn’t exactly his biggest fan. He didn’t remember a single conversation they had, they usually ended abruptly when the King decided he had enough family bonding time.

He hadn’t cared about the royal life or the crown. he had planned on leaving his dreadful life to a place where no one would know about Ebery and he would’ve done it, had it not been for y/n.

He met Y/N Y/L/N when he was disguised as a commoner with Blaise, and they both decided to go out on the town.

“Here put this hat on it’ll hide your hair.” Blaise said pushing a hat towards him. It was a big fedora that was an ugly shade of yellow, it looked about as old as him.

“It’s hideous, where did you even find this.” Draco groaned.

“It was all I could find with the short notice, we can go back to the castle if you’d like.” Before Blaise could continue Draco put on the huge hat making sure to hide his hair before they entered the pub.

“That girl is totally checking you out.” Blaise whispered when they sat down. Draco peered behind him to see a girl staring at him who had smiled when they made eye contact.

“Do you think she recognizes me.”

“I don’t know, go ask her.” Blaise said encouraging Draco to go talk to her. Draco straightened the smock he wore before going up to her.

“I was hoping you’d come talk to me.” She said grinning up from her drink.

“Really how come.” He said talking a seat next to her.

“A guy with a hat like that is bound to be intresting.” She chuckled.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I haven’t seen you around here, what’s your name.”

“Um my name is Julian and that’s my friend uh Norman.”

“I’m Y/N”

Draco had made a point to visit her as much as he could, he grew fond of her.

“In my bakery again Julian, one would think you like me.” The girl said as she stepped towards the counter to greet him.

“Maybe I do Y/N.” Draco said leaning against the counter . He definitely did, Blaise claimed it was obvious but if Y/N noticed she didn’t show it.

“I’m taking a break.” The girl yelled out towards the kitchen before grabbing Draco and heading to the streets quickly ditching her apron and hat.

“What’s with you and hats, every time I see you you’re wearing one. Are you bald?.” She said as they walked through the shops motioning to the flat cap he wore today.

Draco tensed. his hair would be a dead give away of who he was, almost every king in the Malfoy line had the same almost white hair . He knew it was inevitable she find out who he was but he liked the friendship they had and wanted to keep it that away as long as possible. Maybe he should go bald.

“I have a weirdly shaped head.” He stammered. He wanted to kick himself, was that really the best he could come up with. She still laughed.

“You’re strange Julian.” She said sorting through a box of junk a vendor was selling.

”Tell me something about yourself. I feel like you know everything about me but I know nothing about you.” She said walking towards a tree and plopping down.

“There’s not much to know.” He said sitting next to her.

“I doubt that.”

“Well im an only child-

“None of that boring stuff. What do you want to do with your life, what are your goals.” She said cutting him off.

Draco was quiet for a second, no one ever asked him what his goals were. Everyone just assumed he wanted to be King.

“I’m not sure, I’ve never really thought about it.” He said.

“What about you.”

“I want to travel the world and see everything and when I come back I’m going to be rich and take care of everyone who helped me when I was young.” He wasn’t surprised, from the little time they had known each other he could tell she had a fiery spirit with a big heart.

“Wait so you don’t want to be a baker?” He said feigning shock.

“A girl can only have so much bread in her life.”

“Can I come?” He asked facing you.

“huh?”

“When you travel the world, can i go with you?” His heart sped up, that was a stupid question they only had known each other for a month and there he was asking if they could travel together.

“I wouldn't have it any other way.” She said laying on his chest. He would do it, right there under that tree he promised himself he would go to the ends of the earth with her.

He imagined it, life with just the two of them traveling the world. No crown, no titles just the two of them.

“Do you have to go back to work.”

“My Dad will live if I skip one day of work.” She said grinning at him.

“Follow me then.” He said grabbing her by the hand.

“where are we going.” She asked.

“You’ll see.” Draco led Y/N through the streets swifting past the crowd of people in the streets and into the trees. The whole time she couldnt take his eyes off him, had she been less awestruck by him she would have noticed the Malfoy blonde hair his falling hood flashed.

“We’re almost there, close your eyes.” She did and let Draco lead her further she felt the floor under her get rockier.

“Careful.” He said holding her tighter by the hand.

She felt a cold breeze on her face. “We’re here, you can open your eyes.” She opened her eyes and she was standing on a small cliff that stood over a beautiful lake that shimmered almost magically.

He watched for her reaction carefully. This had been his favorite spot in all of Ebery growing up, whenever his mother hadn’t been busy she would take him here and they would swim together, then they would watch the sunset .

“Where are we.” She said furrowing her brow.

“Do you like it?”

“Of course I like it, it’s beautiful.”

“It’s not that well known, I was thinking it could be our little place.” She smiled widely, Draco never wanted to forget what she looked like that day so happy and carefree.

“I’d like that.” She then noticed the castle that stood tall above the trees across the lake. “Is that the castle.” He nodded.

“I’ve always wanted to go to the castle it’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” He said turning her to face him. He had known it the day he first saw her, the smile she had sent his way had knocked the wind out of him.

She blushed “I really like you Julian.” Draco was stricken by guilt and he really did want to tell her truth but how could he when things were so good. So he kissed her and just like that Draco’s life seemed a lot less bland.

——————————————-

lil extra

“Norman, why does my name have to be fucking norman.”

“I was nervous, and your dumb hat didnt make it any easier.”

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #Draco #draco malfoy x reader #royalty au #blaise zabini #daphne greengrass #second try #slytherin #draco malfoy #hp

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kikosaurscave · 3 years

Text

The Cheater and The Bear Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

10/6/21: PLSSSSS THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT ON THIS FIC BUT I HATE IT. I love the plot but i hate how i brought on the story towards the end, its boring, quick and sloppy as well, sorry for that. Ill touch it up...later🦖🦕

A/N: Kinktober, I dont know when Ill be encouraged/inspired enough to finish it, besides its obviously already overdue. This was written in a little under 5 hours and I think its pretty good.

The Angst isnt too bad, a bit of a weak ending but its alright.

F/F= Fav Food F/A=Fav Animal F/C=Fav Colour F/D=Fav Drink

Fandom: Boku No Hero Acadamia (My Hero Acadamia

Genre: Angst

Warnings/Contains: Angst. Slight/mentions of; Insomnia, Cheating, Abuse and Death(Reader), Sicknesses(Unspecified) and Suicude(Not directly)

Word Count: 1,934

Angst Level: 2-3

—

Bakugou and Y/n have been dating since they graduated college, they live together and Bakugou has been coming home late because “his boss is asking him to do extra hours” y/n being a good girlfriend, stays up and waits for him to get home so she can help him calm down from the foul attitude he’d usually have.

—

Trying not to fall asleep most the time, she would rarely get some sleep just to make sure he’s alright.

What he really does while his GIRLFRIEND is slowly falling ill for his sake is gradually getting closer to his coworker, spending the late nights with her and not his own girlfriend.

—

Slowly, week after week he starts recognising the late hours he’d yell at y/n for ‘Not minding her own business’ when she asks ‘Where he was’ or ‘How he was’, he’d notice his coworker being nothing like y/n, for example; when y/n would hug him, he’d feel warm inside, not with her.

When y/n would compliment him, he could tell she meant it, but she didnt even bother to. When y/n would wait for him and care for him, though she didnt? It just wasnt the same at all, it felt useless, he felt weird, sad in fact, he didnt know how he felt but he knew that if he looked into the e/c eyes of the person he loved; he would practically fall apart.

—

Checking the mail when he arrived home to see a letter from their local doctor to his y/n and opening it to see that his girlfriend had a bad condition with no possible ‘cure’ or ‘last resort’ to help with her condition caused by stress and insomnia he was scared, he rushed inside the house, stressfully slamming the door shut and walking into the living room to find his what looked like a now fully alert girlfriend with dark bags under her widened eyes with her hair a little messy, she tried to keep it tamed, but the first thing she still asked him was if he was alright, then she checked his forehead for a temperature while he stared speechless at her, mouth ajared and eyes wide with regret, sadness, anything in remorse “Youre sick and you didnt tell me?” He managed to mutter out after grabbing a soft hold onto her hands, something he hadnt done in a while because all his touches to her were violent and dangerous, the way he just spoke to her was the calmest in weeks, months even because he had been noticing the raggedness in his throat whenever he left to work.

She looked down, sadly, “I tried telling you but you told me I was just lying and being selfish..” his breath hitched realising that she wouldn’t live because of him.

Sure she told him she was fine and he didnt need to worry or that it wasnt his fault but that only made him realise how selfless she was, how much she really loved him and how idiotic he was, he finally realised what an idiot he was, a dirty unloyal cheater is what he called himself, undeserving of the very person he vaguely remembered promising to himself that he would give his life and propose to, because, because? He didnt remember because his mind was poisened with the thoughts of the nights he spent with someone else.

He knew that the memories would rush into his mind either after she died or while he tried his best to care for her during her last few days, when he couldve been doing this for until they grew old together.

He didnt remember why he did what he did but he knew that would be the greatest regret of his life; destined to burn into his mind while he recited her very words about moving on and living his life as strong as he always did or at least now could-though she didnt say that last part herself, he knew its what he knows wont stay out of his mind.

—

And so the days went by, he had stayed home from work to comfort her while in denial about the inevitable death ((Unus Annus👀)) coming to her.

—

He gave as much love to her that he could, made her the food she desperately needed, made her feel as needed as she was to him, bathed her himself and made her feel comfortable.

Even when she knew he was cheating on her she never stopped loving him, making sure HE was alright even when her very own health was slowly dropping as the weeks passed.

She knew what he did and she still didnt stop caring for him and his health, not her own. She shuffled and shivered in his embrace, causing him to adjust the blanket on her while smiling softly, the other rested on her back hugging her closer to him.

When her breathing evened once again he continued thinking, ‘Was it worth it?’ He would sometimes think to himself while brushing her hair.

He remembered the time he asked her if he was that worth it that she would sacrifice her health for;

‘Was I that worth it?’ He asked her while he adjusted the f/a bag on her back, to which she sadly looked down and said ‘You werent supposed to find out, When that letter arrived I was supposed to leave after seeing how bad my condition is,’ he stared down at her in shock as she continued,

“If I had gotten to the letter before you and left it would all be a little better..you wouldve forgotten me and moved on, I know you wouldve. I didnt want to bother you anymore, so I figured it’d be better if I left and probably went and lived with Hanta or Jirou instead of dying and leaving my body for you to find..I didnt want to cause so much trouble for you..’ His eyed watered and so did hers when she looked up at him..

—

Driving her to what she knew would be her last festival and what he denied it to be, he held her hand as if it would be the last time he would ever get the chance to.

—

She pulled him weakly by the hand, taking him from ride to ride—while he complained about how it might not be safe enough for her to ride, she didnt listen though, she still dragged him on, the cycle kept on going with y/n taking him on rides wether he worried about her safety or not, she took him to get some food and candy from time to time, she even asked him to win the f/c bear for and he nodded.

—

They watched the fireworks with her arms wrapped around her new bear and her bag and his wrapped around her, he watched as she looked up at the bright lights in the sky, he noticed how they reflected in them.

—

When they got home, she didnt tell him that she felt more unwell than usual, she just told him that ‘I had a great night, ‘Suki. I really love you, you know?’ She hugged him while he wondered where this came from but didnt take much mind as he listened with a smile on his own, she then continued ‘When Im gone, I dont want you to be sad,’ she whispered, ‘Dont say that.’ He shook his head, arms wrapping atound her and hugging her close ‘Youll be fine, you told me youll be fine..’ ‘I know..I just want you to know that, I love you and I want you to be happy and smile, dont dwell on the past, I forgive you, you know that right?’

He nodded, picking her up and taking her to their room, undressing her and putting her pyjamas on then the same with himself while she climbed under the cover and continued, ‘I mean it okay? So dont think it was your fault’ ‘But it was’ he muttered, sadly. ‘It wasnt.’ He didnt argue, he just stayed quiet, contemplating and dwelling on how he knew it was. ‘Are you hungry? Ill go make you some f/f..’ he left the room, not waiting for an answer, leaving you to look down disappointedly.

He didnt want to listen because he knew what you were going to say. Weakly closing your eyes, your hands wrapping around your torso, you opened your eyes a few minutes later, you felt awful, you felt your time closing in you, you swallowed some saliva or at least tried to, you heard Bakugou walk back in and the smell of f/f invaded your senses, you looked up and he walked over with two trays, both holding f/f and f/d, you smiled a small smile that weakly faltered when he put the trays down on the bed and grabbed the remote to the tv in your shared room.

—

That night when he held you in his arms and ran his finger through your hair and you slowly faded away, youre heart beat faltering, to which only the bear you held—between you two chest to chest—could hear.

‘Suki?’

‘Hm?’

‘I love you so much you know that right?’

‘I know..I love you too y/n’

You smiled, hearing him as he spoke genuinely, he really did love you, he just didnt remember or realise that he did so much until he woke up the next morning, your time had come and gone, your heart—

—‘Y/n? Baby wake up, its time to get up’ he shook you softly, you still clung to both him and the bear between you both—faltered that night, it had finally given up and you had lost your last game—

—‘Y/n wake up!’ He checked your breathing, your pulse, anything he could think of to try and give himself some hope that you weren—

You didnt want to die unhappy but you didnt want to stress him or frustrate him when or if he found your body had you stayed and he didnt read the letter.

—t dead, to try and give himself some hope that you werent dead, but the large lack or little to none of heartbeat and the fact that you werent breathing only made the tears fall from his eyes faster—

Its not the time to dwell on the past anymore, you just had to focus on not being scared of what was to come next, so instead you took in as much of Bakugou as you could, you latched closer onto him and took in his warmth and tried to focus on the bear, the calm bear that basically had no idea what was happening around it.

—‘Please wake up, Please wake up’ he repeated while dialling Emergency Services—

At least Suki would have it to take care of him while you were gone. You closed your eyes, and let out one last breath, feeling his grip tighten on you, a tear ran down your cheek as death took you with a gentle touch.

—

—‘I love you’ Bakugou whispered to your grave, tears running down his face as he hugged the bear the won you at the festival the night you died in his arms..when the found his body and a note saying,

‘Bury me with the bear next to her -Katsuki Bakugou’

It turned out he really did love you?

#katsukibakugouxreader #bnha #mha #fanfic #xreader #angst #simpcave #original #kindabadending?#bakugoukatsukixreader

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

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first off, hello 🤷‍♀️ anon! sorry i missed you out

and secondly, dw, marius is my favourite too lol, he reminds me a lot of my younger cousin who i lived with when i was younger. i was always the one who took care of him and marius calling me older sister just set off so much memories of my childhood. the both of them are also vv similar in personality, attention seeking, playful and artistic so i always see him whenever i look at marius.

artem is probably my second favourite ngl, ever since i read his ssr where he was jealous and got drunk (what a good combination lmao) i just grew so soft for him. at the end of the day, he's just a vv soft sweetheart who's insecure that we'll leave him :(( i have like 3 ssrs at lvl36, two of them are artem cards and the other is luke. i vibe with luke too bc i love the childhood friends trope, it's top tier. and as for vyn... i have vv mixed feelings abt him. i feel like he could so easily see through me if he was real and i'm just like, how about no. he's rlly pretty though, like rlly pretty.

*major spoilers*

and you've finished the archon quests!!! personally, i feel like the ending felt a bit rushed(?). it's weird bc i thought the resistance war against the raiden shogun was supposed to be the center of the story, but it just devolved to us helping yae with the entire war being swept to the side. and i already knew somebody was gonna die, and as soon as i saw that teppei had become the captain, i just knew.

it's interesting bc i would love to explore what happened to la signora and scaramouche to make them so disregarding of human life. like, i don't like them, but i want to understand their minds. it's sad to read signora's artifact's background honestly. and the fact that her crown said she used to be called rosalyne, that she had perhaps once led a more innocent and naive existence. i dunno, to me it seems like a good ending for her honestly, she had already lost herself after her lover's death and brings pain to many others, i don't think she can rlly return to being her again.

and honestly, a lot of people are talking abt scaramouche not telling signora he already had the gnosis and saying that he orchestrated her death, i don't rlly think so. i feel like he's just that apathetic to human life, even if it's someone that stands on his side, he just doesn't care enough. it also says how he never got along with anyone, not even his fellow harbingers, so i don't know why ppl expect him to seek out someone he doesn't like just to warn her of danger.

i vibe with scaramouche and la signora as the antagonists bc they're good antagonists, but as characters, well. other than the fact that they're pretty, they have like one likeable trait and that is their loyalty. they would do anything for the tsaritsa even if it cost them their life. i'm rlly excited to see what the tsaritsa has in store for us in the future.

considering our sibling is nicknamed 'the prince/princess', i wonder if there's gonna be a day where we're gonna have to go toe to toe with them. if we had them backed them into a corner with no way out, i wonder if they would kill us. it would be an interesting twist if we could actually die, but i feel like the protagonist halo will prevent it lol and i'm sorry bc god, this is so long.

— r. anon

marius. that’s the tweet. man,, you dont realize how in love i am w him?? like,, this man was literally my only hope when i fell horribly sick. i cant w myself now that i’m hearing it w my own voice. it must be nice to remember the good ol’ days… i despise my cousins and i dont have siblings so i dont really have that sort of connection w him. to me, his onee-san is just a joke? a petname? idk but it simultaneously makes me so mad and giddy just like childe’s existence does

i like vyn bc his vibes are sus but at the same time, he’s cares abt our mental health 🥺👉👈 no one’s ever said shit like that to me… jokes aside, luke is seriously threatening his spot bc of his blushing bs like pls 🤲 i’m so weak for that shit give me more. artem makes me soft too like,, he keeps mentioning that he trusts us and he’s just…. HE’S A BIG TEDDY BEAR THAT BLUSHES AT LIKE ACCIDENTAL HAND BRUSHES GRRRR. in conclusion, i love them all.

but man,, give me ssr luck… literally, im in pain…

now that the excitement’s worn off, i can now judge things properly. i think that… the pacing is horrible. like the plot is good, genuinely, but there’s just,, so much to explore abt this. if you think abt it, this is the climax and yet we didnt get much. scratch that. we got a lot but it’s all underdeveloped that it felt like nothing. we go to sangonimiya, got promoted, became captain for like, one sec before we are sent onto an investigation that didnt really produce any results bc app teppei alr knows everything? and then the delusion thing is a good plot point but it’s not really explored? just… a lot of things are left unexplored and i think that story wise, a lot of the possible lore explanations went down the drain. it would’ve been nice if we saw more abt the rebellion and if we had gotten to know whats the real deal w the commissions but eh… idk… i would’ve rather done more quests abt this whole storyline than like… do that whole dance w the three people who lost their vision in 2.0.

if im going to be honest, la signora is such a wasted character. like maybe her death was just for the shock factor or maybe it’s to prepare us for more harbinger encounters in the future.. idk but she’s such a good character from what we’ve seen but we know jack shit abt her and her motives. we know a little from the artifact set but beyond that, what do we have?

precisely! that’s how i feel abt this whole thing when we’re talking seriously. like w ei, i dont really agree w whatever they’re doing but i want to understand why they do the things that they do. everything has a reason and their psychology is just interesting to me.

i think scaramouche’s nature makes it easy for him to disregard human life. call it arrogance or whatever but ultimately, he’s seeing himself as smth above all these people bc he’s more or less capable of standing toe to toe w a god. why should he bother telling signora? it’s not like he gains anything if he does. i think that when he got the gnosis, he’s just ‘well she dies if she dies. who cares abt that? i dont have any need for incompetent colleagues anw’ i agree and i dont think he orchestrated her death but at the same time, he just allowed it to happen too.

as for signora, i’m actually surprised? for the most part, i think that the harbingers took their posts for selfish reasons. for scara, it’s to entertain himself and pass time. for childe, it’s to fight and grow stronger. for dottore, it’s to conduct dubious research w/o anyone stopping him. i expected signora to have some similar motive like power or money but it seems like she does actually believe in the tsaritsa? it would be very intriguing if signora’s main motive in becoming a harbinger is simply bc she is loyal to the tsaritsa and her will. bc in contrast, i think scara and dottore are more loyal to the fact that the tsaritsa can give them what they want, not bc they actually like her. actually, idek if they’re willing to die for her lol. like i wouldnt be surprised if they suddenly abandon post in a life or death situation but who knows…

in any case, they are very good antagonists. i like yo think that the tsaritsa isnt as bad as the game portrays her to be… of all the gods, she’s the one im looking forward to the most but… haha… what version would that be….

i’m almost certain that they’ll make us fight our twin maybe before we face the unknown god? if one of them dies, i would be very sad. like legit. but knowing mhy, well, our twin is almost 100% a walking death flag.

anw i’m shutting up rn— i also spoke too much kahdjabdhakbsjansb—

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : r •°ˎˊ˗#inazuma spoilers

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jungxk · 3 years

Note

// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

#answered

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vagarius · 4 years

Text

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it? their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most? uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing? ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them? I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them? THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them? hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s) this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon) this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together? they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why? i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10. AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them? in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?) you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why? OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing? THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them? i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them? as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them? TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.) angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation? they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date? i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts? IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

#a3 #misukazu #kazumisu #ikaruga misumi #miyoshi kazunari #a3!#act! addict! actors!#headcanons #ernb its me

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mintseesaw · 5 years

Text

Studio cuddle

Pairing: yoongi!idol producer x reader!idol producer Genre: FLUFF, idol!au Word count: 1.8k Summary: ⇀ Tired from work, you went straight to Genius Lab in the hopes of being able to cuddle with Yoongi. You did not hesitate to press the passcode of his studio, knowing he might get pissed off for interrupting him from his work.

You were so tired and stressed. Your eyes stung from being in front of your computer screen for 2 days straight with only sleep and call of nature as your form of breaks. Now that you’ve finished editing the third draft of the song and ready to be critiqued by Pdogg, you could use a long nap to recharge your energy. Perhaps, a long and actual sleep in your own bed sounds so much better than a cup of coffee, which in other circumstances the latter would always win.

But a cuddle with Yoongi appeals to you more.

You may have seen him for a minute or two in the past few days, may have exchanged texts with him, and may have consulted to him about your in-progress tracks, but it was not enough to cover up the hole of your heart from craving his touch, his kisses, and his presence. It became a familiar thing to you—missing him.

You two are always busy with your own worlds as idols, even busier being producers. Both of you have different set of schedules which made you see him less. If not for the frequent (not so secret) rendezvous, quick make out in genius lab and sleepover in your studio, you bet you’d barely see him in a while. Of course, you love what you’re doing. After all, it didn’t go easy for you to become an idol.

Debuting has always been your dream. And being able to do what you love has never crossed your mind, not even in your wildest dreams. Now that you’re living with your dream as an idol, you always think you were robbed of the right to complain to the universe. Not even when you miss the love of your life. Is it really hard to wish for two things at a time? To do what you love and be with Yoongi all the time? Well, not if you and Yoongi are both idols. It’s impossible.

It was past 2 in the morning. You made your way to Pdogg’s studio knowing he’s still inside finalizing Jimin’s song before it goes to the top floor office for evaluation. You have to pass it now so he can start reviewing it tomorrow.

“Are you going home, now?” Pdogg-nim didnt even spare you a glance when you came in and greeted him. You understand because he really has so much to do. Unlike you, he’s been working on several other songs for two weeks straight, that was what you heard from Slow Rabbit. He was that busy.

“Uhm—yeah, but I’m going to drop by Genius Lab, first.” You replied and bid him goodbye.

You were excited to see your favorite producer. You longed to kiss him and wrap your arms around his body, feel his comforting warmth. As you neared Yoongi’s studio, you contemplated on ringing the doorbell or pressing the code of his door.

You immediately typed in:

To: Yoongi

I’m gonna let myself in, okay?

You were not even sure if he’ll see it. You didn’t want to call him. He would not want to be distracted by anyone. So you didn’t wait for his reply, letting yourself in so he wouldn't need to get up to open the door for you. The door made a click sound as you pressed its passcode.

Being here would distract him. You were being selfish, you know. But right now, you can just do anything to see him in flesh and to have some skinship with him. He may not give you all his attention and you were okay with that.

The familiar scent of his fabric mixed with his daily used perfumed entered your nostrils just as you opened his door. He didnt turn on your way as you close the door because he knew it was only you being the one person he had entrusted the passcode of Genius Lab. You were only able to have a glimpse of the back of his head, the swivel chair covered his body. It was cold in here, you noticed. Not too cold, but cold enough to make your goosebumps appear.

Going behind his chair, you crouched a bit to wrap your hands around his shoulders, greeting him with a soft, “Hi,”. You snuck in a kiss to his cheek from behind, then to the back of his ears. Your mouth stayed longer in his hair. You always love the smell of his shampoo. It smells like the spring flowers and a definite masculine scent combined. He hummed, not turning to your direction. Although he does not seem bothered by your presence. But you knew better.

“I’m sorry I came here.” Words muffled against his clothed shoulder. Your mouth proceeded to inaudibly show him how much you miss him. Peppering a kiss to the exposed skin where his neck and shoulders met before nuzzling his neck, pecking the skin a few times before pressing your nose against it. You heard him let out a sigh. You knew what that sigh means. He likes what you’re doing.

“Have you finished?” He murmured so softly, if not for your head pressed so close on his mouth, you wouldn't have caught what he said. He was referring to your song that you’ve been working on for 2 weeks now. The two days you’ve spent in your studio was dedicated to the polishing needed for the third draft of your track.

“Yeah.” You wished it would be the last revision before bang pd reviews it. A song, especially a title track, will only be reviewed by him after being approved by Big Hit’s producers which meant going through series of editing. His suggestions are the most crucial ones and he knows what he’s doing so one revision from the executive producer is not enough.

“Good.” You untangled yourself from his body, moving to his right so you can see him well. Half leaning on his desk, you called for his name. He was too focused, you were not even surprised. This is what you get for disturbing his work time.

“Hmm?” He took a quick glance to you and looked back on the screen.

“Can we cuddle?” You observed his face changed into confusion. He might not have heard you right. “What?” His attention suddenly shifted into you.

“I want to cuddle, please, can we?” He gave you a ‘are you serious’ look. Your determination leaving you alone with growing embarrassment. Coming here unannounced, distracting him while he’s working was not the first time. Although there was a time he got pissed off, not by you, but by himself because he was almost finished and he was the one who initiated a quckie instead of pushing you away. You didn’t even attest his patience. The moment you walked in and greeted him with an innocent kiss, he was already on his knees ready to beg for your consent. Your presence is that irresistible to him.

“Baby, you know I miss you too, but I’m working.” He pursed his lips, trying not to give in to your request. He turned his attention back to what he was doing to prove his point. You watched his hand traveled north up until the back of his neck, rubbing the skin right there. His mannerism, whenever his thinking or when he’s nervous.

“I know, just let me sit on your lap, please… just cuddle, I promise… nothing else.” You reassured him because you’re too tired to do anything other than hugging him. After all, you’re here in his studio to recharge your energy, and not do anything to physically exhaust you more. Although the thought excites you, now is not a good time to do it. Some other time, maybe.

“Your presence is enough distraction, baby.” He groaned. He rubbed his face out of frustration.

“Please?”

“Jagi–”

“Please… I’ll just sit on your lap. I won’t even talk if it will distract you more.”

His defiance running thin as you begged more. But he kept silent.

“I just want to hug you, that’s all. Please, Yoongi…” Your bottom lip protruding. Yoongi let out a low sound of frustration seeing your sulky expression. It was his weakness.

You smiled inwardly when you saw his defeated expression. He finally gave in.

“Fine.” He shot.

You smiled when he pushed his chair back to give you room. You climbed carefully on his lap, folding your knees so you can fit comfortably. His free hand pressed on the small of your back, pulling you closer to his body. Your arms found their way on his lower back. Face flat against his chest, right where his heart is beating. Oh how you love the sound of his heartbeat. It gives you emotional tingles and makes your own heart flutter. It was comforting.

He planted a kiss on your head, his hand rubbing your back gently. You pull away slightly and tilted your chin to fish for a kiss. He didn't hesitate, closing the distance between your lips. Your hands cupped his cheeks, pulling him even closer. Sweet, short and full of longingness. You wanted more when he pulled away. He chuckled then planted few more kisses before turning his attention back to what he’s working on. You settled in resting your head on his shoulder, nose nuzzling his neck. The smell of his perfume mixing his own natural scent enveloped your nostrils.

Home, you thought. Your exhaustion and the the need to go home and sleep in your own bed in your dorm slowly evaporating into the thin air as you found yourself in your own comfort place. Being home in the arms of of the man who has owned your heart since the first time you two met.

Your eyes remained closed, not minding the sound of continuous clicks of his wireless computer mouse and keyboard.

You couldn't see the progress of his work. But you could feel his lips on your skin every now and then, planting small kisses to your skin wherever his mouth can reach. And it only confirmed what you have been worrying before you got inside his studio—his attention being divided. Between you and his work.

You scooted ever so slightly against his torso as if there’s still space between your bodies. Fisting his shirt, you sighed contentedly just as his warmth sipped passed your body through your soul. No one has ever made you feel this way. That a simple skinship alone can make you feel like you’ve had rested well, like a medicine curing your stress away. His touch and kisses supplement your life like a water keeping a flower bloom during the spring. Just as how perfect you fit in his arms, you believe destiny has chosen him as your other half.

You were closed to drifting away, when a thought had struck you–

Later on, when the sun has lit up the world bright, you’re sure you’ll face his temper as he works with haste and, you in defeat, would let him lecture you until he simmers down. Few hours more, you’ll hear yourself asking for his new passcode because he would absolutely change it so that you cannot enter his cave unannounced, anymore.

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oliversaluki · 4 years

Text

Truth Or Dare {Kidnapped Princess}

After Dodger dares Ollie to send a PG-13 text to Isa back during Phil/Tom/John’s party, Isa comes out for some fun and then they head home for more fun. (includes a fade out so it’s not really bdrpsmut)

@littleprincesa-isabel

ISABEL

Isa was comfortably lounging about on her bed with a text book splayed open. She had a Physics exam coming up soon and since she really wasn’t in the mood to conversate with family she thought studying would be best.

She hadn’t expected for her phone to suddenly vibrate. All her family was home and Isa knew most of her friends and even Ollie were all out so who would be texting at this time?

To her surprise it was Ollie after all and as her eyes read through the text message her cheeks suddenly began to grow super hot and very red. Not that she didn’t well you know like the message, admittedly she was smiling right now, but she was also a slight bit taken aback.

They really weren’t that type of couple and heaven forbid if she texted back, Isa was sure she wouldn’t know how to “sexy” talk without making a fool of herself.

And what if this wasn’t Ollie to begin with? It could be someone else with his phone, so rather than jump to conclusions, Isa began to dial his number and waited until someone picked up.

“Ollie?”

OLLIE:

Ollie was beyond embarrassed even though he knew by the looks he had gotten he had been pretty tame. That was just what happened when you haven’t slept with your girlfriend or really had that conversation. Maybe they should. Especially considering a certain couple who apparently didn’t have that conversation.

So when his phone went off Ollie excused himself from the group heading out and finding some quiet.

“Heyyyy. Sorry. It was a dare. I probably should have sent that as a follow up text.”

ISABEL

Isa was very relieved to hear Ollie’s voice at the other end of the phone and not some random stranger thinking it funny to play a prank on her. She even found herself giving a soft laugh as Ollie immediately explained himself without her even asking. It made her smile.

“I love how you knew exactly what I was going to ask, before I even had to ask it.”

She teased unable to help herself as she propped herself up from her lying position on her bed.

“I just had to verify to make sure that it was you, and not someone else but now that I’m fully aware, I have a follow up question to ask. Would you have meant it even if it wasn’t a dare? At least the company part because I’ve been staring at the same text in this text book over and over again and the four walls of my bedroom are very boring. I wouldn’t mind leaving.”

OLLIE

Ollie felt bad in a way sending the text. He didnt know what Isa was okay with. Something that he was going to make sure and remedy sooner than later and then maybe if this happened again he wouldnt be the wholesome kid in a room of adults.

"I meant all of it, the shirt thing too though that might have to come later in the night when we get away from everyone."

ISABEL

Isa felt her cheeks go hotter, if that was even possible at all. They were never this straight forward with each other and yet oddly enough, she didn’t feel like she wanted to shy away from it all. She was always at her most comfortable with her boyfriend. Ollie understood her in ways her own family didn’t. It was so easy to be herself around him.

And even though she was an intellectual person, she was not blind nor was she void of hormones. Her boyfriend was very good looking, who wouldn’t smile at the thought?!

“Why is it that you are always planning an escape when it comes to me?”

Isa was already hopping out of her bed by this point and walking over to her closet. She was in her pajamas and obviously that was not appropriate party wear so she had to change.

Thankfully, Ollie had already made outfit picking easier by half as much.

“Would you mind grabbing me?” She wasn’t so sure if she should really be walking the Swynlake streets alone at night. Probably wasn’t the safest of ideas.

OLLIE

Ollie laughed leaning against the house taking another sip of the beer that was in his hands. "Apparently I want you all to myself whenever I can get you and if that's by planning an escape so be it." It didnt help that Ollie almost always assumed Isa was looking for that escape and that control of her own life the way Ollie had been.

He just wanted to give that to her.

At the request Ollie had to grimace looking at the drink in his hand. "I would but I've had a beer or two already and while I think I'm still under the limit I'd rather not take a chance are you okay if I call an uber for you instead?"

ISABEL

“Well, I happen to like how selfish you are with me, so I never mind being a willing participant in these escape plans.”

And right, why hadn’t she thought of that? Ollie was at a party, party and drinks were almost always mutually exclusive. It could also be the fact that she was going through her closet picking out clothes while at the same time holding a conversation.

“An Uber works! Thank you. I’ll let you go so that you can do that. It’ll give me time to change. I was already in my pajamas.”

Isa said her goodbyes before hanging up, already finding the shirt in question and pulling that out of her closet. Along with it came a nice pair of fitted skinny ripped jeans and heels.

Although Isa wasn’t one to wear heels on an often basis, she did know how to properly walk in them and everything. She was a princess after all, she was trained in the art of heels not long after she mastered walking.

After a quick work of some light make and thanking the heavens for natural voluminous curls that could easily be left loose, Isa placed a light jacket on and walked out of her place yelling at the last minute that she was leaving.

The Uber was already waiting for her and it didn’t take long at all for her to reach her destination. She walked past some faces she knew and others she didn’t but she didn’t smile wide until she spotted the one she wanted to see.

“Thank you for the Uber.”

OLLIE

Ollie was quick to call the Uber sending the information to Isa so she knew who was picking her up before joining the game again. Just in time to catch Dodger and Lou locking lips and well the boy couldn’t help but laugh as he kept an eye on the app as the dares went around the room.

And how stupid one guy was just to dare girl’s to take off their shirts.

When it looked like Isa was about to get her he walked off again to get her a drink and top off his own beer.

“Of course.” Ollie grinned handing Isa a drink before pulling her into his arms. “Now you get to be embarrassed as equally as I am.” Ollie teased. “And I can tell you in person just how good you look with the top on but maybe I can make good on my promise later.”

ISABEL

Isa was only too happy to slide right into Ollie’s arms and even with heels on she still fitted in just right. This was definitely a lot better than the text she was reading over and over again in her Physics text book.

“Oh, I don’t do embarrassed well, so I might need the help of a couple of more of these to get me through.”

The brunette grabbed a hold of the drink Ollie had gotten for her and took a long sip from it only realizing afterward that she had no idea what she had just drank. She didn’t have a long history with drinking so she was still rather new with all the variety of alcohol available out in the world.

“What exactly am I drinking?”

She took her eyes away from the drink for a moment to look up at Ollie, a grin beginning to form over her lips.

“Let’s see if you'll be able to win my permission to do so by then.”

OLLIE

“It’s just a vodka lemonade. Some girls probably brought in the fruiter stuff so I figured you might like it but there’s beer and all types of drinks you can try if you want. And feel free to come back to my place tonight if you don’t feel like heading home and dealing with you family in the morning.” Ollie had three places to go, his dorm, Rita’s or Dodger’s. And even his roommate was here so it wasn’t like he wouldn’t know Ollie brought home a guest.

“You know I figured just by you coming here and wearing the top you were already into the idea.” Ollie grinned leaning down to kiss Isa’s cheek right by her ear as he spoke.

ISABEL

“I do like it. Smart girls. I’m not too into the taste of beer.”

Isa did not do her spanish blood proud in that area. Most hispanics loved a good cold beer, but the brunette was never one to acquire the taste for it. Not that she dwelled on that thought long with Ollie speaking right by her ear. She could feel an instant tickle running right down the line of her spine from the action and it left her void of any ability to think too coherently.

He did that on purpose.

“I am.” Isa admitted quite frankly. “But, what fun would it be if I made it that easy for you?” Her lips curved into a grin, a bit of mischief playing in her eyes.

“I like a bit of a challenge.” And she did. It worked the brain more.

OLLIE:

“I had a feeling about that. Fruitier the better.” Ollie was a bartender and he knew the ones that were popular with people that didn’t like beer. And it was the safer option when you didn’t know what they were in the mood for.

“It would be a lot of fun for us.” Ollie stated wrapping his arms around her at this point. “Sometimes there’s no need for a challenge. If anything we can join the truth or dare game.”

ISABEL

Isa had taken another sip of her drink already having close to about half of it done. It was actually pretty good, maybe a little strong by her standards, she could taste the sharpness of the vodka down the back of her throat. Then again she had low standards since she could practically count the amount of times she drank with one hand, so who was to say she really knew what was strong or not.

Not that any of that mattered right now because Ollie had wrapped his arms around her and she was already smiling up at him enjoying all the warmth that enveloped her.

“Fruiter definitely works best for me.” Then she made a little face upon hearing about the truth or dare game. “Hmm, I don’t know if I really want to end up giving freebies around. I already saw enough topless girls just walking in.”

She inched herself a little closer. “And I really would only be comfortable with you.”

OLLIE

“Oh I’m gonna hit that guy if he dared you to take your shirt off.” It was kind of gross. A few beers in or not it was gross. Even Peri had gotten dared to switch shirts so yeah it was probably safer that they didn’t join that whole thing.

“I would also be super jealous if anyone else saw you shirtless. So I’m not having that.”

ISABEL

Isa couldn’t help the smile that began to form on her features. She loved hearing when Ollie would be jealous because of her. It’s not something she would ever purposely cause but knowing that he preferred to have her for himself was always kind of hot for the brunette.

She gave herself a bit of added height getting on her tiptoes (yes, even with heels on she still needed the boost) and pressed a kiss on Ollie’s lips.

“And I wouldn’t want you getting into a fight.”

Which was true, even though Isa was sure that Ollie could defend himself well, she still wouldn’t want that. She finished the rest of her drink and smirked up at Ollie.

“There isn’t need for that, even though if I am really honest, I like hearing when you’re jealous but I don’t have any inclinations of having anyone else see me shirtless.”

OLLIE

Ollie had no problem leaning down to steal a kiss giving Isa a small squeeze. “There’s a reason I’m taking boxing. I’m getting better at handling myself.” And he didn’t want to ever feel like DeSoto could beat him up again. Even if he was sure that Des could.

Slowly his hands trailed underneath her shirt just grazing along her waist.

“Plus there’s a chance they’d dare you to kiss someone else and then we’d really have a problem.”

ISABEL

“I have absolutely no doubt that you are.” And Isa really truly didn’t. “Even still all that fighting would just make your hands very rough.”

Hands that were now resting over the skin of her waist for which Isa was very aware of. The touch had initially been a little cold, probably because of the beer Ollie had had in hand, but the brunette actually welcomed the coolness. She was wrapped up very close to Ollie and with all that warmth some coolness was happily received.

Isa brought her arms up to snake them around the crook of Ollie’s neck.

“Don’t believe in sharing?” She teased because not that she would ever. Isa would have declined that dare very quickly if placed in that predicament.

OLLIE

Ollie laughed leaning further down to kiss along her neck. "Why would I ever believe in sharing when I know exactly how lucky I am to have you in my life. That would sound very much like an idiot making that decision."

Plus Ollie had to imagine there would be limits in this game. Dodger never would have dared Ollie on something he couldn't do. And mess with him or one of the gang whoever wasn't in for a fun time.

ISABEL

Isabel found herself laughing a little too and that came due to a mix of Ollie’s answer and the alcohol that was beginning to settle itself in. She was such a lightweight.

“Good answer.”

She fluttered her eyes shut a moment as Ollie’s lips were now trailing along her neck. It brought that heightened spike of excited nerves right down her spine again and Isa found that she was rather enjoying this sensation. Without much thought or realization Isa had even craned her neck a little to allow more access.

“I wouldn’t want to share either.”

OLLIE

Ollie grinned before pulling back grabbing his beer off the step he left it on and downed it. Tonight was going to be a good night and if it started all from a dare maybe he just had to thank Dodger after all.

“Good. Though seeing you jealous would be pretty entertaining as well.” Isa almost seemed calm. Like she had it all under control. It sucked sometimes feeling like you had to be the best and in control.

ISABEL

Isabel simply laughed allowing an airy, playful shrug to roll off her shoulders. Although, truth be told, she felt very bereft now that she was no longer wrapped up in Ollie’s arms and she didn’t like the empty feeling.

“Guess you’re just going to stay stuck waiting.”

She smiled, placing a quick little kiss on Ollie’s cheek. She walked ahead of him looking down at the glass in her hand. Her drink was empty and since she was already here she figured she might as well grab herself another one. She wanted to enjoy her night, enjoy some freedom that she was sure would probably be advised against with her family.

“You think there is any more of the same drink left?”

OLLIE

“That’s almost a challenge, what if someone there said they wanted to kiss me? Peri’s ex just laid one on Dodger which is hilarious.” Ollie still couldn’t believe that had happened but that just proved what this game was.

“Yeah there should be more. I mean as long as you stay with vodka you’ll be fine, you shouldn’t have too bad of a hangover.”

ISABEL

Isa was already making her way around towards the direction of the alcohol when Ollie had asked his question. It made her realize that she actually hadn’t thought about that. What if that had actually been a dare that would’ve been asked while he was playing? Logically speaking, it was a game and that was all it was, right?

That, however, didn’t mean Isa liked the picture that crossed into her head of her boy-friend kissing someone else. Game or no game she knew she wouldn’t have appreciated it.

She reached the alcohol table and now turned around to look at Ollie a moment almost as if studying him.

“I don’t think you would have allowed it or gone through with it if it was your dare.”

OLLIE

“Oh hell no. I’m not kissing anyone else and if someone thought that was stupid I don’t need to prove myself to them. And trust me when I say I have back up here with Dodger and Tito is showing up later too.” There was no worries in Ollie’s mind about anything in that regard and as much as making each other jealous could be fun he hoped she knew he never would do anything.

He loved her.

ISABEL

Isabel had turned to pour some more of her drink into her empty glass. She was smiling big when doing so, very elated with Ollie’s answer. Not that she ever believed that he would. Isa truly believed that he wouldn’t, but hearing it was always very nice.

Truth be told, Isa never thought she would be the girl with a boyfriend and much less one she would love and would love her back. She just didn’t think it could happen to a girl like her.

So of course she was smiling.

She took a sip of her drink, turning back around now so she could inch herself back up close to Ollie.

“If the dare would’ve happened and I was there I would’ve been mad.” He deserved his answer. “And I would’ve been mad because of jealousy too, so I would’ve left. If you followed me I most very likely would’ve had a lot of not nice words to say to you.”

Isa took another sip. “I like when you kiss me and the thought of someone else getting the chance to like it too isn’t exactly something I would like because I really like when you kiss me.”

OLLIE

Ollie popped open another can taking a gulp from it. There was no reason to be sober at this party so why would he. At this rate we was going to crash on Dodger's floor. Which was fine with him.

(Or if Isa didnt want that they could just go to Rita's)

"Well if that dare did happened and I followed through with it not only do I give you full permission to slap me but I give you full permission to make Dodger and tito and Reets slap me too." Ollie would deserve it and he understood it.

There was just no need to even think it would be a possibility.

As if they could ever cheat on one another. Dare or not. Their pride was big but not that big.

ISABEL

Isa laughed, a small laugh but the giddy sort of laugh that usually came when alcohol began settling in. She was only on her second drink, but she was also a tiny person, it honestly didn’t take much for her.

“I wouldn’t want you to get slapped, although it’s so nice of everyone to be willing to do that for me.” She smiled, taking down a little bit more of her drink.

“It could ruin your face too, and I like it the way it is.” She nodded as if needing to further affirm her own statement.

“And I think I’m going to take you up on that offer of staying with you tonight.” Elena was way too loud to wake up to after a night of drinking.

OLLIE

“What do you think I’m cute?” Ollie teased winking at his girlfriend. “Am I the cutest person you’ve ever seen. The most handsome and the most beautiful.” He continued to tease guiding Isa over to a Beer pong gang and nodding so the guys knew they were coming in next.

“Yeah you’re more than welcomed, If you’re good with the floor we can go to Dodger’s if you want a bed we can head over to Reet’s.”

ISABEL

“Pfft, I mean.” Isa paused, squinting at him and even turning her head at an angle for mocking emphasis. “You’re about average and if your face gets ruined more it will make you below average and I can’t have that.”

She teased and followed her words with a laugh because she couldn’t keep a straight face at all.

Another sip of her drink in, she easily followed Ollie wherever he went.

“I think by the end of this night I’m really not going to care if I end up on the floor or a bed.”

OLLIE

“Wow ouch, Don’t do that to me.”Ollie pouted at his girlfriend poking at her side. How dare she call him by anything but beautiful. “Dodger’s it is, no Mason to wake us up in the morning.” He loved the kid now but waking up to him didn’t seem like a pleasant morning.

Plus Ollie loved to get her out of her house, especially lately. “How are you doing by the way?”

ISABEL

Isabel giggled when Ollie poked her side. She was normally ticklish as it was, but under the influence of alcohol she was more so.

“No that tickles!” She playfully shoved him for good measure before continuing on. “I was lying. I think you’re handsome and I really like it when you wear a leather jacket.” She nodded taking down the rest of her drink. “It adds on some hot points.”

At his question, Isa simply gave a sigh, and inched herself closer so that she was able to lean get head against Ollie’s. “Umm, honestly, I don’t know. No, I’m mad I know I’m mad, and now I don’t know if I should feel even angrier because of the two for one sale we have going on.”

Because it wasn’t bad enough that her sister got pregnant after all the crap she has gotten for Ollie, but now Elena was pregnant with twins. Not one but two babies.

OLLIE

Ollie grinned he knew that leather jacket won him points and it was the weather now to wear it again. He was just ready to look like a dashing bad boy.

But a sad Isa wasnt something he was looking for even though it was a topic that she needed to talk about. Hell Ollie had to go to family therapy when he realized his family dynamic was changing.

"Mad is okay and totally understandable. You know I'm here whenever you need to talk but I could also recommend you the therapist that I talked to when Mason was on his way. She helped Reets and me a lot." God Ollie couldnt even imagine two kids. Mason was enough of a handful and that was with a married couple and Ollie to help out. Not an accident kid because two people that were just dating and had a history of immense drama.

ISABEL

Isabel wasn’t so sure if she wanted to talk about her emotions right now. For one, she wasn’t so sure what she felt these days. She couldn’t pinpoint any specific emotion besides anger. Secondly, she was drinking. Pinpointing anything right now was double as hard.

“I know.” She told him warmly. “And I’m thankful that you’re here for me when I need to talk about it all.”

She finished the rest of her drink, giving a lazy shrug of her shoulders. “But I’m okay for tonight.” And she knew it would only get better with the alcohol swirling everything about.

She looked at the ping pong table now giving it a point with her finger. “What are they playing?” She welcomed any change of topic.

OLLIE

“Good.” But they were at a party so there was no need for such a serious conversation. He was 100% willing to introduce her to his therapist. Which maybe was a weird topic but it mattered.

“Beer pong and we’re in the next game… wait have you never played yet? Or damn we’re gonna get smashed.” Not that Ollie cared, they were already getting smashed even without the game of beer pong.

ISABEL

Isabel has never played the game Ollie just mentioned. She hasn’t been to many house parties before and this wasn’t something she came across often in her books.

Not that she would’ve been able to recall anyways if she had.

“Nope. This will be my very, very first time.” But Isa was always excited to try something new.

“How do you play?” Even slightly inebriated Isa still wanted to know about rules.

OLLIE

“Throw a ping pong ball get it in their cup and they have to drink. They get one in ours we have to drink. Pretty much how it goes. Winner takes next. You can drink from your bottle but be wary you have to chug it a bit.” And with the game ending Ollie and Isa were up, Racking the cups Ollie grinned.

“Nose to nose?” With a nod from the others Ollie grabbed Isa and put her in the middle of the table. “Look at their face, throw the ping pong ball and try to land it. Whoever gets it in starts with the ball.”

ISABEL

Isabel nodded her head understanding the gist of the rules well enough. It wasn’t complicated, but Isa also sucked when it came to aiming. Oh well.

She looked down at the drink in her hand. “My drink is kind of empty right now.”

Ollie took a hold of her and was soon at the center of their end of the table. Oh, he wanted her to go first, Isa wasn’t sure if that was the best of choice, but why not?!

“Okay, look at face and throw.” So Isa concentrated (the best she could while being a little tipsy already) and missed. Shocker.

“I think my aim sucks.”

OLLIE

“We’ll get you another.” Ollie laughed as both Isa and the other guy missed. They had already drank a lot so it wasn’t a surprise that they missed too. “Wanna run and grab us both two more drinks?” Ollie questioned pinching at Isa’s side holding the ball to his nose and missing it though the other group finally sunk it.

Opening it up Ollie stepped back to let them at it watching them sink one more and miss one. He just had to wait for Isa to get back and then it was whoever that wanted to take the drink.

ISABEL

Isa let out a bit of giggle fit when Ollie poked her side, only to finish and give him a face for the action. He knew she was ticklish. Even so, she nodded her head and did as asked walking over to where the drinks were located.

She poured drinks with a smile, glad that the other person wasn’t able to make it on their first shot. Of course, the other pair was probably very drunk, but Isa didn’t place that factor into her thoughts. In her mind right now, they all had sucky aim too!

Once those drinks were done, Isa walked back to Ollie handing him his with a kiss to his cheek.

“What did I miss?”

OLLIE

Ollie grinned taking a swing from his drink moving the cup away from the pyramid. “We lost one cup already and now it’s our time to shoot.” Gesturing forward for Isa to go Ollie stepped back. “Better to go short then go long.”

Ollie was determined to sink his and after Isa had gone had just gotten lucky enough to do so. “Bam!”

ISABEL

Isabel took a swing of her own drink too right before setting herself up to throw the ping pong ball. She had no faith that it would make it as the alcohol was already settling in and making everything slightly spin around.

Even so, Isa threw the ball, her left leg picking up behind her. Long and behold the ball actually made it into a cup! Isa jumped in excitement, one would have thought she had never thrown a ball with her excitement.

Of course, her excitement had only doubled when seeing that Ollie had been successful too.

“Ahh we got it!!” She burst out in a fun-filled laugh, stepping in now to give Ollie a kiss. “And that was probably the only good shot left in me, just so you know.”

OLLIE

Ollie grinned because if they both got it in they got another turn. Watching the guys down their drinks Ollie laughed kissing her back.

“Okay one more time. Do you best, doesn’t matter what ends up happening.” Ollie grinned getting the balls back and throwing it again missing it this time.

“So maybe my luck it out for the rest of the night too.”

ISABEL

Isabel was handed the ball again and in the beginning all she did was laugh. It was a laughable idea to hand her another turn but who was she to say no to the rules of the game!

She got herself centered again and did her best to aim. Apparently, her best under the influence was very shitry because she missed. It also went a lot further then expected… like off the table.

Isa, however, didn’t get upset, instead she laughed again. Turning around she went back to Ollie smiling up at him all giddy like as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I think that floor is looking more and more real for tonight.”

OLLIE

Ollie laughed pulling Isa back into his arms. “That’s fine with me I wouldn’t worry much about Dodger and the guys too. You’re welcomed at any place at any time. With or without me.” If anything they just had to give him a quick call and he would be right there.

As the others scored both Ollie tossed the balls back to them and cheers Isa before taking a sip of his drink. “You’re gonna have a wicked hangover after this so make sure you drink some water too okay?”

ISABEL

Isabel smiled warmly (and slightly giddy too because obviously at this point she was drunk) up at Ollie. She loved that he always thought about her and knew that sometimes she could use somewhere outside of her own place with her family.

“Thanks. You’re always thinking about me.”

She got on her toes again to place a kiss on Ollie’s lips. The poor other two people that were playing the game with them because Isa just kept happily distracting her boyfriend.

And Isa had only pulled back because she realized the other team had both scored which meant she needed to drink.

“Water got it. Remind me.” She cheered back and took her good big swing. “Are there comfy sweats?!” Complete change of topic, but Isa’s head was everywhere when drunk. “Because I can’t sleep in these jeans. Not comfortable for sleeping.”

OLLIE

Ollie grinned kissing back, tucking his free hand underneath her shirt again on the small of her back. He could barely care if they lost this game. He actually pulled back enough to wave off the guys. “You win we lose I’ll chug my drink. Whoever is next is next.” Ollie called out chugging down his beer before discarding it off to the side of some table pulling Isa with him.

“I so don’t want to share you with anyone right now. Even a game.”

ISABEL

Ollie kissed her back and Isabel couldn’t help but to hum right into the kiss at the feel of his hand resting over the skin of her back. She rather liked the feeling and now with the alcohol swirling about in her she had no problem showing it.

But alas, the kiss ended and Isa heard something about the other team winning and chugging down a drink. She had all but forgotten they were playing a game while kissing her boyfriend.

Oops.

Ollie pulled her away as Isa followed, finishing the rest of her drink and dropping her cup on the nearest surface. She now snaked her arms around her boyfriend’s neck and pulled herself in nice and very close to him.

“Good because I kind of forgot we were playing anyway, I was very distracted.”

OLLIE

"I will take full responsibility for distracting you." Ollie grinned pulling her so his back was against a wall and she was leaning onto him.

"I'm so tempted to take you home now so I can make good on my promise but…" Ollie trailed off as if it was Isa who would have to give him a reason to stay because as it was right now Ollie didn't see one. He wanted to spend the night wrapped up with Isa and it wasn't like anyone was judging here but still he imagined eyes on them.

ISABEL

Isa’s body melted perfectly in line with Ollie’s when he pulled her in. She had to admit that she loved the run of warmth that was now wrapping around her body.

A smile crept onto her features at her boyfriend’s words as Isa pressed a light but very sweet kiss on Ollie��s lips.

“I’ll be very happy to leave if you want to take me away right now.”

Not that Isa wasn’t having fun, but the thought of spending the night all alone with her boyfriend was always much preferred. Plus, she probably already had enough alcohol in her and really shouldn’t be adding more.

OLLIE

“And have you for the rest of the night all to myself. I’m not going to say no to that.” Ollie grinned pulling out his phone he shot Dodger a text and called an Uber. But considering he wanted more time with Isa he put the directions to the dorms.

“You get a bed tonight. I put my dorm. No need to have Dodger and Tito trampling over us when they come home just as drunk.” Ollie grinned pulling her to the door.

ISABEL

“Mm, I’ll always take a bed. Warmer and more comfy.”

The cool air would have normally felt brisk over Isabel’s skin, but as she was close to her boyfriend and very warm from the alcohol, it actually felt refreshing.

It didn’t take long for the Uber to arrive anyways and soon enough the pair of them had made it to Ollie’s dorm room.

Quite honestly, Isa didn’t know in the slightest if Ollie’s roommate was in the dorm or not and as she was drunk she didn’t care. Being so, the minute they entered Isa wrapped her arms around Ollie and pulled him into a kiss.

OLLIE

Ollie grinned pressing Isa against the door as he kissed her back. Dipper as far as Ollie was aware was still at the party but Ollie didn’t wait too long before dragging Isa to his room and locking the door.

“So tell me. Do I get to make good on my promise. Tell me no if you don’t want it though.” Ollie worked with whatever she was comfortable. Whatever they were comfortable with.

ISABEL

Ollie asked his question and Isabel couldn’t help but to place an impish smile on features, her head falling in an almost flirtatious sort of angle. She could still feel his last kiss tingling on her lips and could remember how exhilarating it felt being pressed up against the wall.

Something she never quite felt so amplified before and would’ve most likely led her to examine it all in detail in her head. However, everything was mingling swimmingly with the alcohol in her system right now.

Isa walked up closer to Ollie.

“I think you should make good on that promise.”

OLLIE

Ollie grinned and immediately his hands found the edge of her shirt and he didn’t take long before pulling it off and admiring the girl in front of him. As drunk as he was he could take the moment to admire who exactly he had and know he was one damn lucky guy.

And then he layered kisses along her skin, Her neck to her to her collarbone down to her chest lingering on the skin available to him. “Can I take this off?” Ollie questioned flicking at the back of her bra.

ISABEL

Isabel’s skin felt flushed at seeing Ollie’s eyes linger over her. She was never someone who considered herself very beautiful. Intellectual, yes, but physically beautiful, not so much. Yet, here was Ollie admiring her and she felt the most beautiful she has ever felt before.

Even under the influence of alcohol, because yes, Isa was aware that she was drunk.

Ollie’s kisses felt light against her skin but where they lingered was enough to waken her body. Her hands found themselves wrapping at the bottom of her boyfriend’s shirt almost as if pulling him closer, hungry for a closing of any space.

Isa felt that flicker of her bra, a small grin beginning to curve over her lips.

“I think you should.”

OLLIE

Ollie grinned, twisting them around so he could slowly back up Isa toward his bed. They should want to get comfy shouldn’t they? Why be pressed against the door when all he wanted was to admire and touch her.

“I’m starting to think I’m a little overdressed.” Ollie grinned popping off her bra strap with a little bit of difficulty. (He definitely needed both hands to do it) before he tossed off toward some corner of his room.

ISABEL

Isabel could definitely agree, Ollie was certainly over dressed and more so when she felt the cool air hit her now new exposed skin. She formed a grin on her lips and allowed her fingers to grab the bottom end of her boyfriend’s shirt. She pulled the fabric up and over and simply dropped it to land wherever it wanted.

The sight before her of her boyfriend shirtless was definitely something Isa knew she could happily get used to.

There was a lot of bold liquid courage buzzing inside of Isa as she pulled Ollie closer into a deep kiss without care of feeling timid or thought of anything other than how great it felt to have Ollie pressed tight over her.

….

In all the swirl of alcohol and rising hormones Isa next found herself slowly waking up to a bright spill of sunlight hitting her right smack on the face. Sluggishly pushing through a groggy fog Isa rubbed a hand over her features and began to slowly sit up. It was then when she realized that there was an arm cozingly holding her waist. Turning her head over, there was Ollie, and taking a look under the sheets she was in…. There was a good lack of clothes.

Oh.

Isa turned her body slightly over so that she was now fully facing her boyfriend. He was also just starting to wake up from sleep as all the brunette could do was give a bit of a laughing smile.

“Good morning.”

OLLIE

Ollie could already feel a small headache forming, something telling him to grab the blanket, toss it over his head and get a lot more sleep. He planned on doing that too, if it wasn’t for Isa’s voice and well the startling reality of them both being held close and clothless.

“Good Morning.” Ollie squeaked out red coating his cheeks. “We -um - sorry? Are you okay? I didn’t mean for you to do something you weren’t ready for?”

ISABEL

Isabel could see the red that began forming over Ollie’s cheek and she had to admit it looked rather cute fused together with his sleepy eyes and tousled bed hair. She knew that very soon her own cheeks would be sporting that same color so instead, Isa simply cuddled herself a little closer.

“I’m okay and honestly, I don’t regret it.”

Of course, if asked, she probably would have never imagined her first time having sex being under the influence of alcohol, but even thinking it through in her head, she didn’t regret it. She looked up at him now.

“You? Do… you regret it?”

OLLIE

Ollie quickly shook his head. He sure as hell didn’t regret it, even if they were drinking he liked to think they weren’t beyond making a decent decision and Ollie remembered everything from the previous night. Every loving touch and every sweet word.

“Not at all- I just - We never really talked about it before and I just - I dunno I never want to make you feel uncomfortable. I know I had condoms and everything but that’s cause the guys wouldn’t let me not have some in my room.”

ISABEL

Isa hadn’t realized that she was holding her breath until after Ollie had answered her. A part of her was very scared to think that he had regretted it. They were both drunk, yes, but Isa wasn’t black out wasted when it had all happened.

All of what she remembered was good. All of her memories made her smile.

But that could have been all together different for Ollie. Thankfully, that didn’t seem to be the case. She probably would have been left shattered if it was.

“You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, Ollie, not once.” On the contrary, he had made her feel very loved.

“And I know that we never talked about it, but I know that I didn’t feel pressured and I never felt like I was doing something I didn’t want. It… didn’t feel wrong to me even knowing that were both kind of drunk.”

OLLIE

Ollie calmed down knowing that Isa wasn’t mad, in fact that she might actually be happy with what they did.

“I love you, with alcohol and without.” Ollie kind of wished that it hadn’t been when they were drunk but he didn’t regret it. “And if you don’t regret it.” Ollie mused moving to kiss her again. “We’re not drunk now?”

#littleprincesa isabel

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