#whens a hot lady gonna come drag me into a fantasy world

[tomeitwasagoodtime]

Why is "i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding in" bad???? i do that all the time

#maybe im just a ya protag idk #whens a hot lady gonna come drag me into a fantasy world #i want a sword

[emwritesfootball]

Her Majesty's Men 6 | Mason Mount

Word Count: 1,317

Warnings: an almost kiss and Declan hooking up with someone

- - -

Two Weeks Later…

Your doorbell rings unexpectedly, and you find yourself begrudgingly answering it. You gasp in surprise when you find Mason standing on the other side, looking at you shyly.

“Decs is asleep,” you say by way of a greeting, unable to keep the disdain out of your voice.

“I know,” Mason replies, giving you a small smile. “I was hoping you’d wanna go to the Eye with me today…?”

You give him a look. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He huffs out a laugh, running his hand through his unstyled hair, which makes you realize that this is the first time you’ve ever seen him without his hair unstyled in...forever. “So...come out with me?”

And that’s how you find yourself on the London Eye at sunset, sitting across from Mason. The two of you have made a day of being tourists in London, exploring all that the city has to offer. There’s a part of you that’s happy Mason didn’t make it as a footballer, loving the opportunity to get to walk through London completely anonymous. You’d been preparing yourself for fame-by proxy ever since Declan had announced his dream of becoming a famous footballer to your parents one rainy spring morning, and for a long time you’d thought it was going to happen.

“So, what’s next?” You asked, curious. “Dec is so secretive about the future and I’m not sure if it’s because he knows and doesn’t want me to worry or because he doesn’t know and knows I’ll worry.”

“Well, Stonesy’s got plans - big plans, apparently. He knows how popular we are, and he wants to expand us. He’s always talking about taking us on tour, but we need funding. There’s rumours he’s planning some sort of fundraiser but there’s no definite answer yet. Stonesy’s...not the best when it comes to figuring out the logistics. I was doing the books for a while but when I saw all the holes in the financials and told him about it, he wasn’t happy and got the bartender on his side and she’s now doing all that. I’m not sure what she’s telling him but he seems more optimistic about it than before.”

“So, assuming everything gets off the ground, are you going with them, then? Is Dec?” You felt a pang of something, wanting to reach out and hold Mason’s hand - or kiss him.

“Dec is more a part of this than I am. Me? I want out of this life eventually. Yeah, sure, I make almost as much money as I would’ve made if I’d been able to sign a contract with Chelsea - or a Championship club on the slower nights - but I’d like to, I don’t know, coach or something. I still wanna be involved in the world of football however I can be. Tarzan Ty has plans to open his own football academy with his money and I’d love to be a part of that. For right now, though, until I get a clear handle on my life, I’m just gonna be Money Mase.”

You didn’t overthink it this time, placing a hand on his forearm. “Oh, Mason, you’re so much more than Money Mase - I hope you know that.”

Mason gave you a soft smile, the action making your stomach dip. “Thanks.” His gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips and he leaned down.

You were about to let him kiss you but you placed a hand on his chest, stepping back. “Mason...we can’t.”

“We can.”

“You’re my baby brother’s best friend, Mase. We can’t.”

“But we want to.”

You swallowed hard, biting down on your bottom lip. “Yes, we want to, but that doesn’t mean that we should.”

“Fine.” Mason ran a finger down your cheek and you sucked in a breath. “But we are going to kiss someday and when we do, it’ll take your breath away. Okay?”

“Okay,” you breathed, nodding.

***

“All right, all right, all right. Tonight’s the night, lads!” Stonesy clapped his hands together, rubbing them like some sort of shirtless, ripped movie villain. “The investors are here and they are primed and ready for you. Show them what we can bring to the rest of England, and maybe the world!”

“God, he’s corrupt with power,” Tarzan Ty mumbled under his breath as he finished rubbing the contour into his abs to define them just a little bit more.

“He’s just got a vision,” Declan defended, buttoning up the trenchcoat.

“Yeah, a demented one.” Jacky Boy growled, rolling his eyes as he reached for the umbrella.

Mason stood silent, reading the room. Declan seemed to be the only one blinded by Stonesy’s smoke and mirrors, but Mason didn’t know how to tell him otherwise. Declan had thrown himself into the flashy world of male entertainment, trading the screams of a crowded stadium for the cheers of horny women, and Mason didn’t know how to get him out. Mason knew he wanted more out of life, but Declan seemed content to just live in this world. A part of Mason wanted to just let Declan be, but the other part - the part that was slowly falling for you even though the two of you hadn’t even kissed yet - wanted to save him. “Hey, Decs, can I talk to you?” He asked, placing a hand on his ex-teammate’s arm.

“Uh yeah, sure. Now?”

Just as Mason was about to respond, Stonesy cut in. “Let’s get out there, boys! Show these high-powered investors what we’ve got!”

~~~

“Was that...Victoria Beckham I saw in the crowd during our opener?” Jacky Boy asked, loosening the tie from around his neck. It was the only thing he still had on, besides his thong, his body slick with sweat after the ‘Raining Men’ routine they’d just finished. “Posh Spice - more like Sexy Spice, goddamn.”

“She’s one of the investors?” Tarzan Ty said, reaching for his hand drum for his classic Tarzan routine.

“Her and all of her lady friends,” Stonesy chimed in, smirking. “I pulled a few strings. You’re all welcome, lads. Just don’t screw it up.”

The only one brave enough to go near Victoria Beckham was Declan, the rest of Her Majesty’s Men watching in awe - mixed with a little bit of fear - as he sauntered over to her and took her hand, leading her onstage. Hot seats were a blur, Declan’s sole focus on Victoria as he gyrated his hips against her, fulfilling a fantasy for her.

When she cornered him at the end of the night, he was surprised. “You were...magnetic up there,” she murmured, a look in her eyes that had Declan pausing.

“I, uh, thank you. Does this mean that you’re donating?”

Victoria placed a hand on his chest, pressing him up against the wall. “Darling, I’m funding the whole thing,” she purred, nibbling his earlobe.

“Wow,” Declan breathed, chuckling nervously. “What does your husband think?”

“David will find out soon enough. For now, I’d like to have a little fun - celebrate my new investment, don’t you think?”

“Yes, you should celebrate.”

“With you.” Victoria dragged her index finger down his sternum, smirking. “I’ve invested in your little show, which makes you my investment...and I’d like to make sure you’re able to return dividends.”

“What about David? The man’s a legend, I can’t-”

“David and I love each other very much, but sometimes we need to have a little fun separately.” Victoria stepped back, giving him a sultry once-over. “So, Dangerous Deccers, what do you say we have a little fun?”

Declan didn’t hesitate after that, gripping her hips and pulling her into him. Victoria matched him, kiss for kiss, eventually taking charge. She was over twice his age, but that didn’t stop Declan from taking her to the back room, letting her lay him back on the futon as she proceeded to show him just how she planned on investing in him.

<< >>

#her majesty's men series #declan rice imagines #mason mount imagines

[nurvuss]

I Watched the First Episode of Every New Spring 2021 Anime Airing on Crunchyroll

Hey, are you like me, and feeling like you're not getting the most out of your Crunchyroll subscription? Sure, there's stuff on there that you know you like. But whenever I look at the big long list of simulcasting shows, my eyes glaze over and I don't even know where to begin.

I wanted to change my habits and see if there were any shining gems that I should be watching. So, as per the title, I watched the first episode of every new Spring 2021 anime on Crunchyroll. And guess what? There’s a lot of crap! But indeed, there’s some stuff that’s worth your time.

Some clarification: I've only watched shows that began their first season in April 2021.

Backflip!!

Show Link

The Lowdown

As Futaba Shotaro comes to the end of middle school, his interest in baseball has begun to wane. Soon he notices the Ao High Boys Gymnastic Club and becomes enthralled, especially after seeing them perform. Once he learns they're down two members, he chooses to sign up and pursue the art of gymnastics. The club is also joined by Misato Ryoya, a star solo gymnast looking to expand his technique through teamwork.

Our Thoughts

Pretty formulaic shoujo sports anime: you've got your himbo, your thug, your ladies' man, your stoic guy, with Shotaro rounding out the cast as the shy and awkward audience surrogate. It looks wholesome enough, and the choreographed routines employ CG in a way that's quite convincing without being hideous.

Who It's For

Fans of  FREE, or Yuri!!! on Ice, or any similar shows about cute boys who succeed at athletic feats. 

Borscht Rating

Burning Kabaddi

Show Link

The Lowdown

Legendary high school soccer star Yoigoshi Tatsuya has given up on sports! That is, until he's blackmailed to join the high school kabaddi team, under threat of his online persona being leaked to the entire school. Although Tatsuya initially writes kabaddi off as stupid, the unexpected happens as he begins to have fun.

Our Thoughts

Kabaddi is kinda like competitive tag, or dodgeball but with your body instead of a ball. Burning Kabaddi is basically the shounen alternative to Backflip!! above, replete with nosebleeds, pratfalls, and dudes punching each other. The main cast don't seem to like each other very much; that probably changes as the show goes on but at first blush it's a dynamic I always find annoying.

Who it's For

Fans of Haikyuu!!? Maybe?

Borscht Rating

CARDFIGHT!! VANGUARD overDress

Show Link

The Lowdown

The newest series based on Bushiroad's collectible card game, featuring character designs by the beloved collective CLAMP. Petit middle schooler Yu-Yu just doesn't know how to say no. As his older students dress him in drag to use as live makeup practice, he suffers a panic attack and flees into the streets. After being accosted by a pickup artist, he's befriended by Megumi, who invites him to witness a Cardfight match at the local abandoned amusement park. However, Yu-yu is too shy to tell Megumi he's actually a boy…

Our Thoughts

What an unexpectedly weird concept for a show about a card game. Our hero spends the whole episode in drag, whimpering and simpering at the sight of any conflict. Then they show off the latest series of cards, which all seem to be giant buff knights with names like "Bad Steve" and "Violent Bruce". Your guess is as good as mine.

Who it's For

Cardfight!! lovers, Japanese gender studies majors, or the most desperate fujoshi. 

Borscht Rating

Cestvs: The Roman Fighter

Show Link

The Lowdown

The year is 54AD, and Nero has taken the throne as the youngest emperor of Rome. At the bottom of the population, Cestvs is a young slave training to be a colosseum boxer. Reluctant, his only choice is to fight or die.

Our Thoughts

Seeing Nero depicted as a gentle little twink is pretty funny. It's also pretty funny that the central character is named after a Roman boxing glove. The animation style transitions to some very uncanny CG when a major fight takes place, and I didn't like that one bit! This seems like a pretty average tournament anime but with a historical setting. It's currently unknown if any of these dudes are fucking each other. I'm gonna say probably.

Who It's For

The venn-diagram of Greco-Roman history buffs and lovers of tournament series?

Borscht Rating

Don’t Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro!

Show Link

The Lowdown:

Hachioji Naoto is a nerdy, introverted student who spends his time studying and avoiding socialising. When pages from the fantasy manga he's drawing fall out of his bookbag, they catch the attention of a younger student named Nagatoro Hayase. Nagatoro begins to tease Naoto for his otaku interests and awkward demeanour, peppered with some suggestive flirting.

Our Thoughts:

What would you do if a younger girl flirted with you? Would you cry? Piss your pants maybe? Maybe shit and cum? Don't Toy With Me… attempts to barely conceal its BDSM fantasy with its comedic elements, but it's incredibly apparent as Nagatoro always wipes away Naoto's tears as a sort of aftercare. It's like a lighter, comedic version of Aku no Hana, but lacking any of the ponderings or danger that made that work so special.

Who It's For: 

People who search Pornhub for "bratty sister femdom".

Borscht Rating:

86 Eighty-Six

Show Link

The Lowdown

The Republic of San Magnolia and the Giad Empire, have been at war for nearly a decade. Using advanced military technology, the frontlines are fought by giant mecha drones called Juggernauts, controlled remotely by Handlers. Major Vladilena Mirizé is one of the military's most talented Handlers in the 1st District, and one who is constantly teased by her peers for the humanity and empathy she shows her squadron. The government line is that drone warfare has kept casualties to zero, but unbeknownst to the public these "drones'' are piloted by 86ers—the lowest class of citizens, forced to live in military internment camps in San Magnolia's 86th District.

Our Thoughts

This is incredibly my kind of thing. We've got a dual narrative being set up here: Vladilena as the kind, reluctant officer of a fascist regime, and the Bad Company-esque antics of her new ragtag squad, Spearhead. The first episode is split pretty evenly between the two, with each story converging at the end as Vladilena "meets" Spearhead for the first time through her comms station. It's an explosive and enticing first episode, and I can't wait to watch more of it.

Who It's For

Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist, Psycho-Pass, Gundam, or any number of anti-imperialist war stories.

Borscht Rating

Fairy Ranmaru

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The Lowdown

In a quiet corner of the city sits Bar F, a modest drinking establishment staffed entirely by five hot young men. Unbeknownst to the general population, these men are a crack team of fairies sent to the human world to gather the latent energy of "attachment". They do this by solving the problems of young women, taking their hearts in the process.

Our Thoughts

Hubba hubba, a little something for the ladies! It's Weiẞ Kreuz with a bar instead of a flower shop, fairies instead of assassins, and some pretty revealing outfits. There's definitely a little Persona 5 inspiration here too, from the punctuating phrase "Take your Heart!" to many of the visual cues. Make of that what you will.

Who It's For

Fans of Weiẞ Kreuz, slash fic authors.

Borscht Rating

Farewell, My Dear Cramer

Show Link

The Lowdown

Onda Nozomi was once the star player of her middle school football team. Completely unmatched, she no longer plays as there's no opponent she deems to be on her level. Meanwhile Suou Sumire far outpaces her teammates, causing her frustration. By a twist of fate, these two girls find themselves joining the scrappy Warabi Seinan High School FC as they begin to learn the value of teamwork and friendship.

Our Thoughts

I don't know sports. And I really don't know football. I had to look up what the title meant, and now I barely know who Dettmar Cramer is. I'm really not the best person to judge this, but it seems like a pretty good female-driven sports anime. 

Who It's For

Fans of Ace o Nerae! or other sports manga/anime about those ever burning bonds between young teammates.

Borscht Rating

Gloomy, the Naughty Grizzly

Show Link

The Lowdown:

Pitty lives with his pet Gloomy, a massive pink bear. Can a boy and a bear truly get along?

Our Thoughts:

This is a series of minute-long gag episodes in which Gloomy mauls Pitty and blood squirts everywhere. It's definitely meant to be a morbid parody of Sanrio or San-X; it might be a Rilakkuma parody in particular? Gloomy is the kind of thing you might laugh at if it came on in between shows, but it's pretty slight to go through the trouble of putting on.

Who It's For:

Gag anime fans with one minute to spare.

Borscht Rating:

Higehiro: After Being Rejected, I Shaved and Took in a High School Runaway

Show Link

The Lowdown

After a night of drinking in Tokyo, slovenly salaryman Yoshida encounters a teenage runaway sitting under a lamppost. She offers to sleep with him in return for letting her spend the night in his apartment. Yoshida refuses her offer but allows her to stay. The next morning the girl, Sayu, reveals she's travelled all the way from Hokkaido, sleeping with random men in return for lodging and money. Feeling responsible for her safety, Yoshida agrees for Sayu to stay indefinitely in return for handling household chores.

Our Thoughts

This is kind of the inverse of Koikimo (see below), but without a scumbag character and from a male perspective. It's not nearly as nauseating as that show, but it's still a fantasy about living with a busty teenage girl.

Who It's For

Libertarians.

Borscht Rating

I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level

Show Link

The Lowdown: 

Office lady Aizawa Azusa dies of overwork in her early 20s, and finds herself standing before a lecherous goddess. Allowed a wish as compensation for her untimely demise, Azusa wishes for an endless life of leisure. The goddess reincarnates her as a 17-year-old immortal witch in an RPG-coded fantasy world. Thrilled, Azusa lazes about, brewing potions for her neighbouring villagers, and kills a small amount of slimes each day to supplement her income. After doing this every day for 300 years, she inadvertently finds herself at Level 99. Her peaceful life is soon upended as adventurers and dragons come from miles around to challenge the legendary witch.

Our Thoughts:

I'm not really an isekai fan, and that goes double for series which aren't set in an RPG, yet use RPG mechanics. Levelling up, grinding stats, min-maxing, as if it's a part of the fabric of the setting. I don't get it. I like watching numbers go up as much as the next dork, but I don't need to watch numbers go up in absolutely every piece of media I consume. Just play a fucking video game, Jesus Christ almighty.

I thought this might be setting up a fun series in which a layabout is reluctantly called upon to undertake a dangerous quest, but I don't think that's what's going on at all. When the red dragon Laika wrecks Azusa's house, she transforms into a cute young girl and the two begin living together, teaching each other the pros and cons of hard work and slothfulness respectively. The trajectory of the series might be as laid back as its protagonist in the end, which, ultimately, would be fitting.

Who It's For:

Isekai fans, slice-of-life fans. The twain have met!

Borscht Rating:

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood

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The Lowdown

In alternative history Japan the Meiji Period continued well into the 1930s, and the ongoing Tokugawa Shogunate has brought technological prosperity to the nation through a magical energy source called the Dragon's Vein. Sawa Yukimura runs a bookshop where she lives with her little sister by day, but by night she's an assassin for Nue, the shogunate's secret police. As the terrorist group Kuchinawa deploys transforming beasts in an attempt to topple the shogunate, Nue springs into action with their own abilities.

Our Thoughts

There are a lot of concepts competing here, and a few too many flashy transformation sequences for my taste, but I'm really into it! Nue are made up of sex workers and street musicians, often overlooked and therefore easily able to blend in. There's a supernatural Standalone Complex vibe to how the team operates, and they're almost assuredly on the wrong side. Worth a shot!

Who It's For

Fans of alternate history science fiction, Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, Demon Slayer.

Borscht Rating

Koikimo: Koi to Yobu ni wa Kimochi Warui ("It's Disgusting to Call This Love")

Show Link

The Lowdown

Amakusa Ryo is a womanizing salaryman concerned with nothing but his own base desires. As he slips on the train station stairs one morning, he's saved by the swift action of Arima Ichika, a kind-hearted high schooler. When it turns out Ichika is friends with Ryo's younger sister Riou, he decides she's his soulmate, and begins to pursue her no matter how many times she refuses him. Comedy ensues!

Our Thoughts

Yeah, OK groomer.

Alright look, Korikimo is written by a woman and told from Ichika's perspective, so this is obviously meant to be a lighthearted "older man" shoujou romance. As an older man, all I saw were the adventures of a paedophile and the teenager he's stalking. Fuck off.

Who it's For

There's probably other stuff like this, right? If you like that, here you go.

Borscht Rating

Let's Make a Mug, Too

Show Link

The Lowdown

After the death of her mother, Himeno and her father relocate from bustling Tokyo to quiet Tajimi City in Gifu Prefecture. The former salaryman opens a quiet cafe using the remarkable mugs made by his late wife, while Himeno follows in her mother's footsteps and joins the school pottery club. Although her first project ends in disaster, Himeno makes fast friends with the eccentric pottery enthusiasts who make up the club.

Our Thoughts

It's no Eizouken, but I guess it's probably not meant to be. I'm not a big iyashikei genre fan, but if that's your thing, you might enjoy the wholesome non-adventures of three girls trying to make a mug. It's worth noting these episodes are only about 12 minutes long, with the remaining runtime segmented into live action episodes where the voice actresses tour Tajimi and unconvincingly pretend to be interested in Gifu's famous mino-yaki pottery. I think this must be a tie-in with a local tourist board. 

Who It's For

People who enjoy stuff like Aria, actually.

Borscht Rating

OddTaxi

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The Lowdown

In a Tokyo populated by anthropomorphic animals, a solemn walrus named Odokawa spends his nights driving his cab around the bustling metropolis, spending his free time drinking with his pals. Odokawa soon finds his quiet life disrupted by a caper involving a missing girl, some crooked cops, and the animal yakuza. 

Our Thoughts

A deft blend of working class slice-of-life with mystery, cute animals, and striking visual design. OddTaxi might be the sleeper hit of Spring 2021.

Who It's For

Fans of existentialist film noir with absurdist comedy, Polar Bear Cafe, walrus lovers.

Borscht Rating

Osamake: Romcom Where The Childhood Friend Won't Lose

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The Lowdown

Suehiro Maruo Sueharu Maru has his heart set on Shirokusa Kachi, the hottest girl in school. When she begins dating a young actor, Sueharu confides in his childhood friend Kuroha Shida, who's openly in love with him and he rejected in the past. Kuroha suggests the two get revenge on Shirokusa by pretending to be in love. Will Sueharu fall in love with Kuroha for real, making her dreams come true?

Our Thoughts

Give me a fucking break.

Who It's For

I don't know and I don't care.

Borscht Rating

SD Gundam World Heroes

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The Lowdown

The newest instalment of the SD Gundam media-mix franchise. In a world populated by super deform mecha, a burning meteor lands in the middle of Captain City. From it launches a terrible mechanized beast: Naughty Lion. When the police are powerless to stop it, a crack team led by Zhuge Liang Gundam and Liu Bei Gundam sorties to bring Naughty Lion to justice. When the beast stops rampaging, it transforms into Sun Wukong Gundam, a youthful amnesiac mecha horrified at the destruction he wrought. The Three Kingdoms Gundams welcome Sun Wukong into the fold to make sense of this mysterious event.

Our Thoughts

I'm an 80s kid, I know a 30-minute toy commercial when I see one.

No, seriously though, I'm aware of SD Gundam's merchandising—they're cute designs, and I even used to have a bunch of the gum rubber mini figurines. I've played the SD Great War Super Famicom games, they're fun! This is a vehicle to get kids hyped up about the latest toys, which are...based on  a hodgepodge of Journey to the West and Romance of the Three Kingdoms this year? There's even a little SD Guan Yu Gundam with a big long beard!

I kinda wanted to like the idea of a bearded robot, but the mechas are super busy and overdesigned. I guess there's only so much you can do to make your next series of toys bigger and better, so these guys are all decked out in gold accents, capes, horns, and antlers, and half the time I couldn't parse what I was seeing.

I'm so glad I don't have to watch any more of this. 

Who It's For

Very, *very* young mecha fans.

Borscht Rating

Seven Knights Revolution: Hero Successor

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The Lowdown

Long ago, the Dark God Nestra ruled the world through fear. Standing against him were the Seven Knights, seven brave warriors chosen by the Light Goddess Serrass. With their powers combined, Nestra was defeated and the lands returned to peace. Hundreds of years later the wicked Physis Cult seeks to revive Nestra, summoning undead beasts to ravage the countryside. With the Seven Knights long dead, the Granseed Academy has risen to train the next wave of heroes to combat this threat. Using special cards, the students of Granseed are able to call upon the power of the Seven Knights to guide them in battle.

Our Thoughts

As soon as the opening started with its transforming heroes and lovingly depicted weapon cards, I realised this must be based on a mobile game. Indeed, this is based on a free-to-play gacha from Korean developer Netmarble. Even before I was able to confirm this, Hero Successor failed to draw me in, eschewing details on the nature of its world in lieu of a glamourised marketing push for its source material. What's here is incredibly slight, and likely to be of little interest to anyone who isn't deep into this game.

Who It's For

Seven Knights whales, I guess.

Borscht Rating

Those Snow White Notes

Show Link

The Lowdown

Sawamura Setsu mourns the death of his grandfather Matsugorou, a talented shamisen player who refused to pass his secrets on. Not knowing what else to do, he leaves his remote village for Tokyo, taking nothing but his shamisen along with him. Soon he finds himself wrapped up in the complicated life of aspiring actress Yuna and her scuzzy rockstar boyfriend Taketo. When Setsu opens for Taketo's band, he stuns the audience with the raw emotion of his playing. However, his heart is still tumultuous. 

Our Thoughts

An entertaining first episode of a speciality music series, which is the kind of thing I have a place in my heart for. I couldn't shake the feeling of some latent misogyny that suggested the role of a woman is to inspire a tortured artist, but I might be wrong. The final few minutes take a twist by introducing Setsu's weird, horny mother who seems to have her own personal SWAT team, and it looks like the series becomes a more conventional high school anime from episode 2 onwards. Don't know about that!

Who It's For

Fans of Kids on the Slope, Sound of the Sky.

Borscht Rating

Tokyo Revengers

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The Lowdown

Former delinquent Takemichi is unsatisfied with the way his life turned out, living alone in a paper-thin apartment and working a minimum wage job under a boss who doesn't respect him. When watching the news one evening, he learns that his highschool sweetheart Hinata was killed, alongside her little brother. On the way to work the next morning, Takemichi falls in front of an oncoming train and wakes up 12 years in the past. Armed with foreknowledge, he attempts to turn his life around and save his onetime lover.

Our Thoughts

This is drawing from a lot of sources; the whole train sequence is lifted straight from Gantz, while the story itself initially seems like a Life on Mars kind of deal. In fact, Tokyo Revengers sees Takemichi jump back and forth between the present and the past, seemingly making small changes until he achieves his desired outcome. It feels like a very video gamey depiction of time travel, and one that's not super interesting.

Who It's For

Steins;Gate fans, maybe? Delinquent manga (Shonan Junai Gumi, Crows, etc.) fans, maybe? It's pretty self-serious compared to any of those.

Borscht Rating

To Your Eternity

Show Link

The Lowdown

An immortal being in the form of an orb falls to earth and becomes a stone. Years pass, an ice age sets in, and a white wolf stumbles onto the tundra and dies. The orb, able to take the form of anything that leaves a strong impression on it, transforms into the wolf and slowly learns how to use its newfound ambulatory body. The creature treks back through the tundra where it meets a boy living alone, after the rest of his village left in search of a better life. The boy recognises the wolf as his beloved pet, Johann, and the two begin living together in the harsh, lonely wastes.

Our Thoughts

I'm being a little coy with the synopsis here, and there's a major shake-up at the end of this debut episode. This one's based on a manga by the critically acclaimed Yoshitoki Ooima (A Silent Voice), and it's a depressing, compelling, and exciting start to a series. Lots of potential here!

Who It's For

Fans of NieR, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon, Last Exile, Kino's Journey.

Borscht Rating

So, there you have it. I'm hoping this will be of use to anyone who experiences a similar sense of dread when faced with so many choices. Maybe we’ll do this again during the Summer 2021 anime season.

Also, please don't get mad at me if I'm snarky about your new favourite show! It’s just TV and I'm a big idiot anyway.

#anime #crunchyroll #backflip!! #burning kabaddi #cardfight!! vanguard overDress #cestvs #don't toy with me miss nagatoro #86 #eighty six #fairy ranmaru #farewell my dear cramer #gloomy #higehiro #koikimo #killing slimes #joran #let's make a mug too #oddtaxi #osamake #sd gundam #seven knights #those snow white notes #tokyo revengers #to your eternity

[neerons]

Some of the HLITF MC’s best quotes

“Instructor Goto... Always kind and diligent, his instructions easy to understand... I owe him a great deal. Instructor Ishigami... Very Spartan methods. The hardest of them all to make the grade with. Instructor Soma... They say his remarks can cut like a knife from time to time, but his advice is invaluable. Instructor Kaga... ......All that comes to mind is being backed up against a wall. Also, the fact that he has a ton of closet fans among the male trainees. Chief... Always paying for your instructors’ ramen... Wait! That’s not what I’m going for here!” (—MC’s thoughts, in Shinonome’s route)

“Hurrah, scientific mumbo jumbo on parade. I’m following about half of this conversation.” (—MC’s thoughts)

“Shinonome, you magnificent man, you!” (—MC to Shinonome, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“I think they look pretty awesome, personally. Who doesn’t love boobs? (—MC’s thoughts about her breasts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“I mean, Shinonome’s real type is more Sachi than me. So calm and kind... And then there’s the whole, um... boob thing. Man, she has great breasts. So jealous.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“I love everything about Shinonome! Even when he’s being nerdy, even when he’s being mean. Even though he’d make a better girl than I do and his mushroo— I mean, his hair’s so silky...” (—MC to Sachi, in Shinonome’s route)

“Okay, when I go back to visit my folks, I’m a total slob. I don’t help around the house, I just laze around and throw my socks on the floor.” (—MC to Sachi, in Shinonome’s route)

“And anyway, who cares what I eat? I’ve got abs of steel. Wanna touch? Put your hands on these babies and you’ll see...” (—MC to Shinonome, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“(...) All I was trying to say is that I accept you for everything you are, anyway! Bad hair day? Slipped on a banana peel? Wore your shirt inside out? Bring it on! And again, even if your equipment’s not working, I’ll accept that too.” (—MC to Shinonome)

(...) I’m not that much of a pervert! So please, let me sniff you a little longer? I mean, no. Scratch that. Let me HUG you a little longer. (—MC to Shinonome)

“I mean... yes, they DO look very... tasty out there on the field. But oh my god...” (—MC’s thoughts about the instructors)

“The roundness of the mushroom caps reminds me of something... Ah... I’m grilling Shinonome’s head.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“(...) Graduation means the culmination of a long-held agreement between us. Starting with that post-graduation kiss. And I dunno if there’ll be a celebration or what, but what I’m most interested in... MOST interested in... Is that Shinonome and I are finally going to... We’re gonna... YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“Who shows up on an overnight trip with their hot boyfriend in bargain bin undies? Me, apparently.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“Is it me, or am I hitting like, peak fabulous girlfriend here? Hangin’ out in my boyfriend’s kitchen, totally got a handle on things! Kinda deal? YES! Freaking yay!” (MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“(...) I got to see glimpses of your stomach, and... those abs... Your abs are just, yeah, wow... Intriguing stuff, believe me.” (—MC to Shinonome, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“I-I’m broke! I’m waiting on salary day, and I used my winter bonus on a year-long train pass.” (—MC to Shinonome, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“Say what you like about me...But don’t you dare insult my darling Kaga!” (—MC’s thoughts, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

(...) a friendly and gregarious Kaga wouldn’t really be Kaga.” (MC’s thoughts, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“I figured Kaga had brought me here for some freaky hanky-panky.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“Demon...” (—MC to Kaga, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“(...) Mean is like his default factory setting.” (—MC talking about Kaga to Chiba, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“Chief thinks he’s so smart... he’s just a pachinko playing slacker!” (—MC’s thoughts, in Namba’s route)

“I discard my fantasy into a mental box marked ‘never gonna happen.’” (—MC’s thoughts)

“With all the love in the world, I give him the finger.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“How about we stay inside all day and bang it out on every surface we can think of?” (—MC to Shinonome)

“I’m nothing if not motivated when it comes to getting down with you.” (—MC to Shinonome)

“They dissed my silver fox! Unforgivable!” (—MC’s thoughts about random boys, as Namba’s girlfriend)

“Kaga looks so cute, obediently opening his mouth for the rice porridge. (...) Yikes... I’d better not say the word ‘cute’, or they’ll never even find my body...” (—MC’s thoughts, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“Recently Kaga flip-flops between being a snarling beast and a purring kitty.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“I pull off his shirt, taking a moment to appreciate his chiseled body. Usually it’s dark when we... you know. To see him up close in full light... (...) I drag my eyes back up to his face with difficulty.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“Why am I the only one all flustered? Why does he get to be cool?” (—MC’s thoughts, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“Finally you value me! It’s been such a hard road to get here!” (—MC to Kaga, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“Usually I’d cringe at being in the pretty girl role at work. But this is serious! If batting my eyelashes can help, I’ll bat away!” (—MC’s thoughts)

“I’m becoming a real pervert thanks to Kaga!” (—MC’s thoughts, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“Sorry. I kind of got excited over the thought of you seeing me in my swimsuit. (...) I’d like you to take it off me...” (—MC to Kaga)

“Take me, please.” (—MC to Kaga)

“Oh, actually I haven’t been eating much because I’m so exhausted from the heat. I’ve only been having seconds, not thirds!” (—MC to Kaga, as Kaga’s girlfriend)

“A year has passed already, and yet Kaga still manages to inspire mortal fear in me.” (—MC’s thoughts)

“I personally have had a marker to the head so many times, it barely stings anymore!” (—MC talking about Kaga’s class to Namba)

“I wonder what people are thinking when they walk past us? I bet they’re jealous that I’m out and about with a silver fox. No wait, he’s married...” (—MC’s thoughts about Namba)

“Oh no! Ishigami thinks I’m useless, too! I mean, I know I am, but to have him basically agree...!” (—MC’s thoughts, in a Prologue)

“Why am I wasting precious fantasizing time with that nonsense?!” (—MC’s thoughts)

“Yikes, stop staring! I’m totally perving on his body!” (—MC’s thoughts)

“This is what passes for democracy these days?!” (—MC to the instructors and Namba)

“He’s a fantastic kisser, too. Where did he learn to kiss like that, anyway? Who gave him the right?! I’d genuinely like to know why kisses feel so good. Y’know, for science. What a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man! Mm.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“Man, I am just so good at this improving thing, I even impress myself. (...) If you don’t give yourself a pat on the back from time to time, who will?!” (—MC to Miyayama)

“Hey! I’m a beautiful daisy, not dandelion fluff! Or maybe I’m both. Maybe I’m more like a burr! Not like I’m planning on letting you go anytime soon, anyway. Mwaha!” (—MC to Shinonome, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“Kaga got up close and intimate against a wall with a criminal? Okie dokie.” (—MC’s thoughts)

“I don’t get laid to get paid, fellas!” (—MC’s thoughts)

“I was searching for Captain Tsugaru, expecting a gorilla, and now I’ve run into this total hottie instead. I should be used to hot guys, though. I mean, the instructors... (...) he gives me a charming smile, and I mentally thank his parents for making him.” (—MC’s thoughts)

“My mental image of Kaga scares me into stepping forward.” (—MC’s thoughts)

“Get him a hundred roses! If I could pull a move like that, I’d straight up date myself.” (—MC’s thoughts)

“Did they just say I’m being treated like a pet? In that case someone should definitely call animal welfare on my behalf...” (—MC’s thoughts)

“...You womanizer. Tastebud psychopath. Waste of a handsome face. Emotional chair-flinger.” (—MC insulting Tsugaru)

“I thought it must have been with a special lady if he came to such a fancy place before. Sorry Kaga. You’re not a lady, but you’re definitely special.” (—MC’s thoughts/ Tsugaru’s route)

“Praise the gods for Seiji Goto, the shining beacon of Public Safety!” (—MC’s thoughts/ Tsugaru’s route)

“Wow, what a love fest. Am I intruding here?” (—MC’s thoughts about Tsugaru and Momose)

“I have a second stomach when I’m not the one paying. And besides, isn’t this a date?” (—MC to Tsugaru/ Tsugaru’s route)

“We’ll do it for sure. Like bunnies! Oh yes! As they say... nothing ventured, no one gets laid.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“I guess I just don’t tickle Shinonome’s pickle...” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“That’s him! I’d recognize his cute butt anywhere!” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“He could’ve dragged me into some secluded room and had his wicked way with me! That would’ve been nice! I would’ve flung my undies with abandon if so!” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“Your eyelashes are so long, I was thinking it would be a pain if they stabbed me.” (—MC to Tsugaru)

“(...) He’s seen my abs. In fact, nothing makes him splutter faster than a glimpse of these babies.” (—MC’s thoughts, as Shinonome’s girlfriend)

“His mushroom- I mean, silky hair... His pride and joy has turned into a bird’s nest!” (—MC’s thoughts about Shinonome)

“I’ve come to the conclusion that I suck at everything.” (—MC to Namba)

“Kaga’s niceness is so subtle you can blink and miss it.” (—MC’s thoughts about Kaga)

“He’s a brute! A fiend! He’s not my boyfriend or a detective, he’s the ruler of the underworld!” (—MC’s thoughts about Kaga)

“Sorry! I wasn’t thinking you two are cute or anything!” (—MC talking about Ishigami and Kaga in front of them)

“I do enjoy sleeping in your arms, of course… But I much prefer it when you make love to me.” (—MC to Goto)

#her love in the force #hlitf #voltage inc #otome game #love 365 #voltage otome #voltage #hlitf mc #hyogo kaga #ayumu shinonome #jin namba #seiji goto #hideki ishigami #shusuke soma #hlitf quotes #quotes collection #quotes

[thefloorisbalaclava]

A Lesson in Manners - Part 2

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Fem!Reader

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: porn with some plot

Part One Part Three

You blinked a few times before hopping down from where you sat by the bathroom sink. He hardly acknowledged you as you walked out of the bathroom. His feet were propped up on the small desk that sat against the wall by the window.

"I'll buy you a drink," you blurted. Jack finally looked at you and raised one eyebrow. "For...you know…" You gestured to your bandaged arm.

"I guess that'll have to do," he said standing with a grunt.

"Okay. I just need to change outta these bloody clothes."

He walked to the door. "You do that. I'll be waitin' in the bar downstairs." You couldn't be certain but you thought you saw the hint of a smirk on his face as he closed the door. You shrugged and quickly changed your clothes then checked yourself in the mirror.

"What the hell am I doing?" you whispered. Why did it matter what you looked like? Jack has seen you at your worst and it's not like you were trying to impress him or anything...right? You rolled your eyes and walked out of the room to the elevator. The whole way down all you could think about was how close he had gotten to you. Sure, it had only been to clean your wound, but…

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. You stepped off and turned left towards the hotel bar. It was lively tonight but you could spot Whiskey in any crowd even without his hat. That dark hair, those chocolate eyes, those kissable lips…you shook that thought away as he lifted his hand to wave you over.

"Took you long enough. I was gettin' thirsty," he complained.

"Stop complaining and order us some drinks...please."

"Oh, so you do have manners." He stood and walked to the bar. You couldn't help but to watch him nor could you help notice how he caught the eye of nearly every woman in a five foot radius. You turned and looked down at the table remembering that you didn't tell him what you wanted to drink. Before you could look up again, he was placing a glass in front of you.

"Oh! That was fast."

"Jack and coke for the lady. Whiskey neat for me." He sat and lifted his glass to you before drinking.

"How did you know what I liked?" you asked before taking a sip of your own drink.

"Saw you drinkin' 'em a few times," he admitted. "You been my partner for months now. You don't think I notice these things?"

"I just didn't think you were watching me like that." Your face felt hot but you weren't sure if it was the drink or something else.

"I know everything, darlin'. Hell, I can even tell you what you're thinkin' about right now." He finished the rest of his whiskey and leaned forward, his forearms on the table.

"Are you a mind reader now, Whiskey?"

"Could be. Let's find out." You shrugged and he looked into your eyes. You made the mistake of looking down at his lips but quickly corrected yourself. "You wanna kiss me," he said then sat back, draping one arm over the back of the chair.

"W-what?" You laughed it off and finished your drink in two gulps.

"Aw, sugar, don't be shy about it. I get it."

You rolled your eyes. "You're really full of yourself, you know." He stood and moved his chair closer to yours making you sit up straighter. "What in the world…"

"So you weren't thinkin' about kissin' me upstairs when I was fixin' you up, when I moved in real close to you like so?" His face was inches away from yours; so close you could feel his breath on your cheeks. "You're thinkin' about it now, ain't you?"

"I-I should pay f-for these drinks," you stammered.

He moved even closer. How is that possible? "You do that, sugar." He pulled away but not before brushing his lips against yours. A goddamn tease. 

As you walked to the bar to pay, you remembered to breathe. You could feel his eyes on you and that made you confident but also nervous. Please don't trip and fall flat on your face. The drinks were paid for and after thanking the bartender you turned to find Whiskey was no longer there. You looked around and spotted him at the entrance. You made your way over but without a word he turned and began walking away. What the hell was he doing?

"Whatever," you mumbled and pressed the button to call the elevator.

"You weren't even gonna try to come look for me, were you?" he asked, walking up behind you.

"Does it look like I was looking for you, Whiskey?" You smiled back at him and walked onto the elevator. He walked on after you and stood on the opposite side staring at you.

"How about you come on over here and kiss me like you want to?"

You scoffed. It was true but you weren't going to tell him that. "You arrogant sonofa--" His lips were on yours before you could finish the thought. You made a sound of surprise but your brain was screaming: finally! Just as you were getting into the kiss, he pulled away and walked back to the other side of the elevator car as if nothing had happened.

"There's more where that came from," he said as the elevator doors slid open. "All you gotta do is say thank you." He walked off the elevator and you followed as if you were in some trance.

"You're really still on that?"

He opened the door and let you inside first. "I sure am." You turned to argue but he was so close to you that you collided with him and he had to wrap an arm around your waist to steady you. "Two little words."

"No...way." You smiled at him and he smiled back before looking down at your lips. 

"Dammit." He kissed you again and you laughed against his lips. "What's so damn funny?" he growled as he pulled away from you.

"Nothing. It's just you...well, you taste like...whiskey."

He smirked. "Heh, ain't that somethin'? But I gotta wonder...what do you taste like?" He backed you up until the back of your knees hit the bed and you fell onto it.

"You've kissed me more than once now. You should know."

"I ain't talkin' about that." He looked down at you and bit his lip.

"Oh," you said quietly.

"Is that all you have to say?" He climbed on top of you but would not touch you. "Tell me you want me. Tell me you want this."

"I want you," you whispered.

"What was that?"

"I want you, Jack." You spoke a little louder.

"How bad?" 

You rolled your eyes and tried to sit up but once he touched you your body fell back against the bed. His hands were under your shirt on your stomach and slowly pushing your shirt up. 

"How bad?" he asked again. His hands found your bra and you gasped. "You gotta tell me, sugar." He squeezed lightly.

"So bad. Please," you begged.

"Sit up," he commanded and you did. He pulled your shirt off then reached around to remove your bra. "Oh, you are a sight." He pushed you gently so that you laid down again.

"Jack…"

"Hm?" Before you could say anything else he lowered himself over you and wrapped his lips around one of your nipples. Your hands found his hair and pulled on it. He snarled and bit down on your nipple.

"Fuck." You never wanted him to stop but he did and you whined.

"Gotta see all of you." He tugged on your pants and you lifted your hips so he could pull them down along with your panties. "Look at you."

"You're a little overdressed don't you think?" You reached out to him but he grabbed your hand and kissed it before holding it above your head. With his free hand he reached between your legs and felt how wet you already were.

"All that for me?" He trailed his finger achingly slow up and down your slit before moving his hand away. "Too bad you don't wanna thank me."

"Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" you shouted desperately. He chuckled as he stood up from the bed and undressed slowly. When he was completely naked he laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "I said thank you, Jack."

"I know. I heard ya. I'm just waitin' for you to get on up here."

"Oh...right." You climbed on top of him excitedly but he stopped you. "What?"

"I meant up here." He pointed to his face and you stiffened.

"Are you sure?"

"Hell yeah. C'mon." He licked his lips as he helped you inch yourself up his torso to his face. You looked down at him nervously, sheepishly. "Go on, babydoll. You ain't gonna hurt Jack." You lowered yourself slowly but he must have been tired of waiting because he wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you down onto his face like a man starved. You cried out and held onto the headboard, your nails digging into the wood.

You had fantasies about how Jack's mouth would feel on you but this was even better than you'd imagined. His tongue was unlike anything you had ever felt as he dragged it slowly over your clit then flicked over it a few times. You clapped your hand over your mouth and cried into it.

"Let Jack hear you, baby." He went back to work on you, his tongue tasting you in ways you had never been tasted before.

"J...Jack...I'm gonna...fuck!" Your hands find his hair and pull. You're overstimulated and trying to pull away but he held you down by thighs, taking every last drop from you. "Please...god…"

He eventually let you go then smiled up at you, his lips and chin completely covered in your essence. "God ain't got anything to do with this, sunshine."

"Do you ever stop talking?" you asked breathlessly as you slid off of him.

"Only when you're sittin' on my face. I mean...I don't talk that much, do I? Can't help myself. See I'm ramblin' now and…" He gasped when he felt your lips wrap around his cock.

"I guess I found another way to shut you up." You slipped him back into your mouth and he immediately put a hand on your head while the other fisted the sheets.

"Oh honey...that was cruel. You should at least warn a man before...sweet mother of…" You cut his thoughts short again as you took him into your mouth as deep as you could. He made the loveliest sounds you had ever heard, crying out before grabbing your hair and pulling you off of him with a pop.

You cleared your throat. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin' at all. I just don't wanna finish here." He sat up slightly and dragged his thumb along your wet lips. "You're somethin' else, ain't you?" As a reply, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your lips around his thumb. "Fuck yeah, you are." With a growl, he removed his thumb from your mouth and pulled you up to him wasting no time in pressing his lips to yours. "What do I taste like now?" he asked.

"Like me." You smiled against his lips.

"Damn right I do." He kissed you again. "Do me a favor...roll onto your side for me. That way." He nodded toward the door. You were facing away from him and it puzzled you for a moment until he pressed himself against you and draped your leg over his. As he slipped inside, you gasped loudly and hid your face in the pillow. "Oh no you don't." He grabbed you by the hair and turned your head so he could kiss you. It was sloppy because of the angle and because he was fucking you in earnest. He reached down to lift your leg as he pounded into you and used his other arm to wrap around your middle, keeping you snug against him.

"Oh fuck Jack! Right there!"

"I know, sugar. I know. I can feel ya." He nibbled on your ear before speaking again. "Remember tellin' me I was full of myself?" You nodded. "Well, it seems that I ain't the only one full of me anymore, huh?" 

You breathed out a small laugh before reaching back and tugging on his hair as you turned your head again to kiss him. "Just like that. Please don't stop, Jack!"

"Yeah? You like that, huh?" He licked into your mouth then pulled away to look down and watch himself slide in and out of you. "You got no business feelin' as good as you do," he grunted. His hand slipped between your legs and found your clit. You tried to close your legs but he kept your leg draped over his. "Let go. I got you."

"I...I...oh Jack!" Your toes curled and you arched into his thrusts as you came around him. He cursed lowly behind you and stiffened, holding you still against him as he filled you. You moved your hips and he hissed before slapping your ass.

"Careful now." He must have felt your reaction to him spanking you because he groaned. "If you wanna go again you're gonna have to give me a minute and...you gotta ask nicely." He turned your head and kissed you before pulling out.

"I'm not doing that," you said rolling over so you could face him.

"Don't make me lasso you," he snarled and you giggled. "Wait a minute...you would love that, wouldn't you?" He cocked an eyebrow at you and you hid your face against his chest. Suddenly, he rolled out of bed and went fishing for something in his bag.

"Come back to bed," you whined. 

"Gotcha," he whispered and pulled out a rope. "It ain't my usual lasso...wouldn't wanna hurt ya but this'll do." He stood and waited for you to say something.

"You really think I'm gonna ask you to tie me up?" you scoffed.

Jack crawled over you and put his face so close to yours that your noses touched. "Still no manners." He tsked and sat up, straddling you. Taking the rope in both hands and pulling tightly, he grinned. "Guess it's time for another lesson, darlin'."

#Agent Whiskey #Agent Whiskey x Reader #Jack Daniels #Kingsman: The Golden Circle #Pedro Pascal #headcanon

[returnsandreturns]

i’m going through all of my google drive accounts and i’ve tried to write a novel with versions of these two ladies four times but i’ve never had a plot, just feelings about them and a general mood

there’s magic going on somewhere in there but i never write fantasy so who knowssssss

---

“I’m going to do it this time,” Casey says, standing underneath the big elm tree that lives outside of Em’s house. She does a few elaborate stretches, nothing they’ve learned in gym class, kind of like what Em’s mom does in front of the TV--cardioaerobics or something. 

Em’s sitting on the little stretch of roof outside her window, her knees curled up to her chest.

“You’re going to break a limb,” she says, matter-of-factly. It wouldn’t be the first limb broken in Casey’s relentless pursuit of glory, whether it was the pinky sacrificed in an arm wrestling match or the leg broken in two places trying to climb out her window last year to go running in the woods. That’s Casey. Her inherent clumsiness and shameless athleticism go hand in hand. 

Casey’s putting her hair up in a high ponytail now before she positions her hands on her hips, Wonder Woman style. 

“Tree limb,” she asks, “or--you know--me limb?” 

“You limb,” Em replies, laughing. “Should I go ahead and call the ambulance now so they’re ready for you?” 

“You used to believe in me,” Casey says, pointing up at her accusingly. “Puberty is ruining you.”

Just the word puberty sends chills up Em’s spine. Her mom avoided giving her the talk until the last possible moment, a really horrible moment where Em tried to sneak a blood-stained pair of underwear into their laundry and her mother caught her and basically dragged her into the living room to teach her about being a woman.  

It’s been two years and Em still hasn’t recovered from hearing her mom use the words pubic hair. She grabs a gummy worm from the bag beside her and tosses it at Casey, missing her by several feet. 

“Weak,” Casey says, not even turning her head, chin tilted up and squinting at the tree through the sun. She does a couple of lunges, some weird wobbly arm movements, and then she takes a breath so deep that Em can practically feel it even from so high up and heads for the tree at a sprint. 

Em holds her breath, doesn’t take her eyes off the surprisingly elegant arc of Casey’s body in a too-big t-shirt and leggings as Casey’s scuffed Keds skid for a half a second in the grass before she leaves the ground. It’s a good jump, a strong start--Casey throws her arms up immediately to grab the closest branch and actually manages to catch it, which is further than she’s gotten since her primary goal in life became Climb Em’s Ancient Tree Guardian. 

It’s just an Elm tree. Em might have been convinced when she was a kid that a little bit of her grandmother’s soul was inside of it and might have told Casey that once when they were younger. Their sleepover talk tended to veer in the direction of I thought for awhile that my grandmother didn’t so much die as she became one with the giant tree in our front yard conversations, rather than the things that girls in movies talk about. She thinks this might be true of lots of girls, but she can’t say for sure.

Casey had nodded like it was the most reasonable thing in the world and refused to enter Em’s house without first greeting her grandmother from that point on, originally with reverence, eventually with hugs. This morning, she had thrown her arms around the trunk and said, voice slipping into something a little more sweet and Southern than usual, “Granny, you’re gonna accept me into your arms today.” 

Casey swings from the branch and her feet scramble against the bark to try to force herself up before she says, “Shit damn,” in one breath and her hands slip. 

Heat flares up underneath Em’s skin. For a second, everything dims except the shine of the sun against Casey’s hair, braids piled up on top of her head. She might not actually hurt herself if she falls, but it doesn’t matter. The world shifts inside Em’s head. Two seconds pass and Casey lands gently on her knees in the grass. 

“Why does she hate me?” Casey asks, sighing dramatically and throwing herself onto her back, not noticing a thing. “Doesn’t she know I’m family?” 

Em draws in a shaky breath before she smiles, throws down another gummy worm that lands on Casey’s bare stomach where her shirt has ridden up. Casey laughs and eats it immediately.

“She’s a tree,” Em says. “She doesn’t know anything.” 

“Don’t talk about your grandmother like that,” Casey says, still laughing. She groans like the weight of the world is on her fourteen-year-old bones as she pushes herself to her feet, pointing a finger at Em. “Don’t move, I’m coming up.” 

“Yes’m,” Em murmurs, leaning back against the wall, her feet dangling over the edge. This is as dangerous as she gets: sitting. 

She can hear the front door open and shut, hear Casey yell, “It’s just me, Ms. Adams,” and Em’s mom yell something back--Casey’s footsteps diverted at the sound. She’s probably going to get some concerned noises about grass stains and the scrapes on her hands where they slid and lost their grip. Em takes deep, deep breaths until her heart finally calms down and Casey’s hands hit the half-closed window, making Em start. 

“Jesus,” she murmurs. 

“Nope, just me,” Casey says, shoving the window open and crawling through it, immediately dropping down to sit next to Em, their arms pressing together. Casey’s skin is sun warm and soft, the sleeves of her t-shirt rolled up and held with safety pins. 

“You okay?” Em asks, turning sideways to eye her up and down. Casey wipes her hands off on her knees before presenting them obligingly, showing faint scrapes on her palms, skin a little swollen.

Em takes one of them and hates the blush that threatens to rise in her cheeks at the touch, dropping it immediately and turning her head back to the house across the street. She’s been blushing a lot lately. With all the things she can control when her heart’s geared in the right direction, she can never stop the blush. 

“You could just get a ladder,” Em says, and Casey tips her head back and laughs and laughs, a little hoarse. Casey’s voice is always just a little hoarse. Em says it’s because she talks too much. 

Casey says it’s because she’s got a lot to say, refuses to accept that it’s the same thing. 

“I’m going to get up in that tree,” she says, a grand declaration, her arms that isn’t shoved up against Em’s arm shooting into the air, “before we’re in high school.” 

It’s July. July 6th, to be exact. Em knows this without looking to check because it’s been two days since the Fourth of July and people are still setting off fireworks, like they bought too many, like they’re just not done celebrating. 

“That’s not an awful lot of time,” Em says. They left middle school behind in the hazy past, one more summer until they became something entirely new. That was the plan, anyway. The last three years have produced a long and varied list of Things We’ll Do Before We’re In High School, and they haven’t exactly done--most of them. Any of them, really. 

“We’ve also gotta get kissed,” Casey says, making a face that Em can see out of the corner of her eye. She turns her head just enough to make the same face back at her. Kissing was on the list, an unfortunate necessity that they both agreed had to be faced head-on. If gossip was to be believed, and they weren’t exactly in a position to question their only source of news, every other girl in their classes has found an appropriate boy-shaped human to touch mouths with by this point. 

“You could just kiss the tree,” Em says, and Casey snorts on a laugh, insinuating an arm around Em’s shoulder so they’re tucked together. 

“She’s too old for me,” Casey says. “I’ll just have to pick someone and go for it.”

“Romantic,” Em says.

“Kissing isn’t romantic, anyway,” Casey says. “It’s just. Wet.” 

“How do you know?” Em asks, smiling sideways at her. 

“It’s basic science,” Casey says. “Lips. Tongues.” 

She sticks hers out at Em, and Em copies her before she turns away again, hiding her face in her knees because, yeah, there’s the blush. It’s always right under the surface, ready to come out and ruin her whole life.

“Tongues,” she repeats, muffled.

“I don’t understand it, either,” Casey says, airily, “but, yeah, tongues.”

Casey’s arm tightens around her, her head tipping to rest against Em’s after Em sits up again. The sun is hot on their heads, and Casey’s skin is warm against hers where they touch, arms and ankles and temples.

“Kissing,” she says. “Safely consume alcohol without getting caught.”

“That’ll be easy,” Em says. Her mom’s got a liquor cabinet--well, it wasn’t made with that intended purpose, but there’s a cabinet in their kitchen that’s close enough--and Casey’s parents are so distracted with her new baby brother that they could do shots in the middle of their living room and they wouldn’t even notice. 

“I want to get in a fist fight,” Casey continues, “but I know how you feel about that.”

“You weigh ten pounds and you will die,” Em says, nodding. Casey laughs.

“So, no fist fighting,” she says. “Unless it comes up naturally.”

“No fist fighting at all.”

[ksj-com]

Request #7

The One That Got Away

- Pairing: Jimin x Reader

- Genre: Club!AU, smut, light angst

- Warnings/Tags: alcohol mention, flirty Jimin, new years kiss, making out, public sex, bathroom sex, doggy style, dom!Jimin, slapping, slightly rough sex, almost getting caught, unprotected sex, cream pie, one night stand, oral fixiation

- Word Count: 3,338 words

- Summary: One forgetful move and your dream guy you spot at the club remains nothing more than a one night stand.

     “Cheers to the new year to come!” The entirety of the club yells. Shot glasses and drinks raised together, the sound of clinking pierces the air. Extended arms lean towards your glass, along with the familiar face standing next to you. Your best friend, Emily, had a bright smile shining across her face as she smashes her shot glass with your water. She wasn’t the only excited drunk in the club tonight.

     The 2020 countdown broadcasted on every TV in the building, meaning everyone’s eyes were either glued to the performances on the screen or they would glance at it every chance they could. Unless, their heads were being thrown back to take in a shot of course.

     The whole crowd went silent for a second as everyone downed their drinks after the celebration cheers. Water, instead of hard liquor, traveled down your throat. And with that, empty cups were set back down at the bar and the crowd dispersed. The club was in full swing again.

     “Let’s go dance some time away,” Emily pulls you out of the bar stool onto the dance floor. Still being sober, you weren’t as daring with your moves like Emily. But, you were sure sober enough to see how much of an idiot she looked like as she whipped her hair and jumped around off beat. Meanwhile, you jumped around with the beat of the music pulsing through your chest.

     Neon pink, purple, and blue lights sprayed across the moving crowd, cascading along your chest. Only being covered by a sheer lace top, your clothing was a little more risque tonight than you were used to. With a pair of black skinny jeans containing rips at both of your knees, a black casual jacket stopping at your mid thigh, black heels with strings wrapped around your ankle, and a black and gold Gucci belt at the center to finish off the look. You were covered in black clothing from head to toe, yet you still looked classy. Or as you would like to call yourself: a bad bitch.

     It would be a lie if you told yourself that you didn’t want a New Year’s kiss for tonight. In all your 23 years, you’ve never had someone by your side while the clock counted down to the New Year. It was a silly wish, but it was a little fantasy of yours since you were a teenager. This year you were so desperate for one, Emily might even be your New Year’s kiss tonight.

     Arms draped along each other’s shoulders, you both swayed along to the music. Rocking on both feet while yelling the lyrics of the blaring song. You weren’t drunk, but you probably looked like it right now. Feeling ridiculous, giggles arise from your throat. Maybe a drink or two wouldn’t be too bad.

     You couldn’t help but glance at the TV’s to see how much longer the world had until it entered 2020. With about an hour left, you decided to reside back to the bar. Dancing wasn’t really your thing like it was for Emily, anyways.

     “I’m gonna go back to the bar. Maybe get a drink or something,” you lean forwards for her to hear. Her body moved lazily around— clearly somewhat fatigued. She managed to push out a nod before a guy swoops in behind her. Her body immediately responds with grinding into him, his hands firmly holding her waist. 

     You decided it was your time to go, so you sat down at the bar once again. Humidity covered the hot air. You were especially warm from the dancing, so you took your time to catch your breath and fan yourself.

     “Hey there,” you hear a voice come from your right. A man with blonde hair sits down next to you, smile calmly spread across his lips. Your eyes direct towards his perfectly white teeth and perfect smile. Everything to his flawless skin, kind eyes, to his full lips were so perfect. 

     “Hey!” You realize that you’re staring. God, hopefully he doesn’t think I’m creepy.

     His smile, still existent, shines brightly when watching you talk. “I’m Jimin. You are?” His knees bounces under his seat, trying to hide his nerves.

     You watch him lick his lips, after popping out into a flirty smirk. “I’m (Y/N),” you give him a shy smile. It seemed like you could flirt with anyone unless they were good looking. Bad news, this guy was beyond good looking.

     He chuckles, resting his face in his palm on the bar. “Would you like a drink? It’s on me,” his gaze drops down your figure quickly.

     “Sure! Um, I’ll take a water. I want to remember tonight since it’s the start of a new decade and all,” you laugh nervously to yourself. Stop coming off as a loser. 

     Your worries fade away slightly because, whatever you were doing, he seemed to be into it. His eyes squeezed into crescents as his beautiful smile rose to his cheeks.

     “Fair enough. I’ll have a water for this pretty lady over here,” he announces to the bartender. The bartender with the name tag, Yoongi, keeps an unamused face while sliding you the glass of water.

     You couldn’t help but smile from what Jimin has to say. Was it corny? Yes. Was is okay because he was hot? Also, yes.

     As a thank you, you clink your glasses together before taking a drink. You watched his figure take in the clear liquid that was already in the glass from before. Was that water too?

     “Thank you, Jimin. I really needed that,” you give him a smile.

     “No problem. You come here with anyone tonight?” He taps his fingers on the glass. A few fingers accompanied by metal rings. Veins and muscles moving and bulging under his skin with his movements. It takes you a moment to snap out of another one of your stares.

     “Uh, yeah. I came with my friend Emily…” you voice trails off to nothing as you scan the crowd to find her. “Where the hell did she go?” Your brows furrow as your face twists with concern. After setting down your cup, you begin to hop off the chair.

     Jimin reads your face, looking back at the crowd to see what you’re looking for. “I’ll help you. What does she look like?”

     You were hesitant at first, but you needed all the help you could get. Showing him a picture of Emily, you both began to go your separate ways.

     “I’ll go outside. You check inside?” He asks. Eyes searching your face for an answer. 

     You nod. “Thank you, but why are you doing this?” You had just met him today, not even 15 minutes ago. Here he was, helping you find someone that he’s never met. 

     “Have to end 2019 with some good karma, right?” He flashed another smile while stepping towards the door to the outside.

      Charming, you think to yourself. Making sure to check each stall in the bathroom, yet each one was empty. With no luck in the restrooms, you try to see if you can see her dancing again. Each person gave you a dirty look while you tried to push past them. Still no sign of her. You return back to the bar as a last hope. Jimin probably left by now, leaving you sitting by yourself defeated.

     A hand rests on your shoulder. “I found her outside,” Jimin’s voice says from behind you. You turn around, surprised that he actually helped you and concerned with the serious look spread across his face. Oh god, what’s wrong?

     You follow him outside to see Emily sitting on the curb bawling her eyes out. She was a drunk crier, so you definitely weren’t as shooken up by the image of her looking like a mess in public like this. A ‘ thank you’ to Jimin falls from your lips again before sitting down beside her. Her body leaned into you when you draped your arm around her shoulders. Her cries made her body jolt from hiccups and sniffles.

     “Hey, what’s wrong?” You ask, resting your head on top of hers. The smell of liquor surrounded her.

     “Th-this one guy tha-that I was dancing with,” her sobs break up her words, “he-he wanted to hook up, b-but,” she began to break down in tears again. A quick glance and you realize Jimin was still there. A look of concern rested on his face as he watched Emily break down into you.

     Your attention snaps back to Emily. She still hasn’t gotten out what she was trying to say. Her sobs echoed down the street and you were sure that everyone around could hear her. “But what? Come on, you can tell me. What did he do?” You give her a light squeeze.

     “He fucking pushed me! And called me a bitch! Just because I said n-no!” She looked up for the first time. Mascara and eyeliner smeared all down her flushed cheeks. She was drunk. You could tell from the slurring of her words and the way she couldn’t look at you straight in the eyes while talking.

     “What an asshole...where is he now?” Jimin steps forward into the conversation. He crouched down to your guys’ level, to look at Emily. 

     “He left,” she sniffled. Now that she was more settled, you needed to cut her off from the booze tonight. 

     “Let’s call an Uber,” you pull out your phone.

     “No it’s okay. I got it. You stay. I'm not dragging you out of the night you want,” Emily shakes her head as she looks down at her phone, already on Uber.

     “Come on-“

     “No (Y/N), seriously. I’ll text you when I get home,” she assures. You figured it would be best to agree to avoid another mental breakdown later. 

     “You better,” you nudge her shoulder. Peeling yourself off the curb, you help Emily to her feet as well. She gets a glance of Jimin, visibly impressed when she looks back at you.

     “Go on,” she shoos you both away, causing your eyes to roll before walking back inside with Jimin.

     The club was filled with shouting when you both walked in. A glance at the TV helped you realize that everyone was counting down the 2019 timer.

     “I don’t even know how to thank you. You really didn’t have to do all that,” you yell over the crowd. 

     He rolls his eyes at you. “No I didn’t have to, but I did. And to thank me, you can be my New Year’s kiss,” he pulls you into the crowd. You laugh as you stood by his side. You got what you wanted tonight: your New Year’s kiss. To make things better, it was with an amazingly attractive guy.

     “5!...4!...” You and Jimin shouted together. “3!...2!...1!” Cheers vibrate throughout the building, arms reaching at the confetti falling from the ceiling. 

     Jimin’s arm snakes around your waist to pull you into him. His lips press to yours passionately. Meanwhile, confetti sprinkled on the tops of your heads. His lips pulled your bottom lip in, teeth closed around while it was being slowly pulled back out. Not a taste of liquor was on his lips, eliminating the chance that he was only hitting on you because he was drunk. 

     The kiss was perfect. His tongue slipping in your mouth slightly deepened the already hot kiss. To pull him closer, you wrapped your arms around his neck. His grip on your backside tightens on your lower back, his arms enveloping you within them. Now basically making out in the middle of the floor, you grew hot everywhere from embarrassment to excitement.

     His hands inch down towards your ass, squeezing it in his palms. Now, you had just hoped that he wanted what you did. You pull away both out of breath. Your foreheads were pressed together as you locked wild eyes. His gaze broke from yours to look back down at your lips. His own lips were more plump than they already were, swollen and red.

     “Let’s take this somewhere else,” you decide to take the initiative for once, heart pounding out of your chest while doing so. You felt a wash of relief when you see him bite back his smile, looking back up at you with dilated eyes. 

     “Where?”

     You drag him to the bathroom, praying to god that no one was in there. There were no feet under the stalls when you pushed open the door. Thank god. He hurriedly shoves you into the biggest stall, the door slamming shut behind you both. His body was pushed against yours, completely pinned to the wall. His boner was easily noticeable while being pressed against your lower stomach.

     He smashed his lips against yours while his hands roamed around your body quickly. Fingertips digging into your skin, electrifying everywhere they pushed into. Smacking of mouths and swirling tongues fill the bathroom stall.

     Your mind was spinning and your heart was beating outside of your chest. Not from nervousness, but from excitement. Public sex was definitely something you’ve never experienced before. If this guy wasn’t so hot, you probably wouldn’t be doing this right now to begin with.

     Your hands jumble to his pant buttons, popping the button off with ease. He was left standing there with his jeans pushed down to his thighs after he peeled them down. The quick loss of his touch made your body crave him even more, the withdrawal soon resolved when he pulls your tight shirt over your chest. A groan escapes his mouth when your perked breasts were now uncovered from the sheer material.

     “Fuck you’re so hot,” he brings his lips to your ear. Your knees went weak from the feeling of his hot breath and the sound of those words.

     He continues to undress you by pulling down your pants and underwear down to your ankles. His lips latch to your neck and collarbone, meanwhile your hand runs down his abs. The feeling of each ridge and muscle under his soft skin. As you continued to glide your fingers down, prickly shaved skin pushed against your touch. You push down his boxers to reveal the site of what you were just about to get ahold of. His dick rising from the lack of restraint now. Taking advantage of the perfect opportunity, you grabbed ahold of his length. You begin to pump it from under you, watching his head being thrown back. His adam’s apple bobbing as his moans are held back. 

     His hands grab your waist, suddenly pulling you against him to pull you into a long hot kiss. Shortly after, you’re twirled around to bend over the toilet seat. Your backside was completely exposed to him as you arched it upward towards him. Arms pushed against the wall behind the toilet to remain balance. The feeling of his dick wiggling between your folds made your eyes flutter shut. You were impatient and had enough of foreplay. You whine for him to give you more. Just what he wanted. 

     He smirked before inching inside of you. Your back wall being grinder against all the way until he couldn’t anymore. His strokes were deep and pushes moans from you every time.

     “You’re so fucking tight,” he growls. His hands slide up your torso to grip onto your breasts as he pounds into you. To send you even more over the edge, his fingers massage into your tender nipples. Your eyes were rolled to the back of your head to this point. Just as you were about to guide his hand to rub you to a climax, his hand slaps over your mouth.

     The sound of the bathroom door creaking open makes your stomach drop for a second. Your knees scurry on top of the toilet lid to hide your feet from under the stall. Jimin continues to thrust slowly as you both listen to the footsteps wander in the stall next to you both. Of course. 

     One of his fingers slips in your mouth, your head licks and bobs around the finger. His deep strokes don’t stop. His hips grind circles inside of you to feel everything he possibly could.

     You tried to listen for the stranger’s footsteps to leave the bathroom, but the intense pleasure eliminated the care for you to do so. Throwing yourself back into his thrusts, bouncing your ass around his cock which earns a muddled groan from Jimin as soon as the stranger finally leaves. His hand finds a place on your ass, spreading your cheeks rough and slapping it raw.

     His pace quickens and becomes sloppy. His teeth nip at your back to try to contain his moans. You, on the other hand, moaned loud enough to echo throughout the bathroom.

     “Cum in me,” you beg.

     He moans in response. Immediately standing up straight, pushing the middle of your back down further as he piledrived inside of you. His skin slapped against yours and the wet sounds of your pussy sucked him in. The thrusts become sloppier before you feel a liquid fill your insides all the way up to the brim. But, he wasn’t done yet.

     His hand reaches under you, pushing fast circles around your clit. Your core pushes over the edge, causing you to reach your climax after his. Mixed liquid spills out from underneath you as you scream from pleasure. Your knees knock together as you release the powerful high.

     After he pulls himself out of you, you stay bent over while he cleaned himself and you up. Not being too shy to give your ass one last smack before pulling your jeans over them once again. The smile he gave you had a whole new meaning then the smile you saw when you first met at the bar.

     Your phone began to rang and the caller ID read Emily. You decided to answer even though it was probably just her crying about nothing.

     “Hello?”

     “The Uber is a total creep and, don’t hate me, but I made him turn around to pick you up too because I don’t want to spend new years by myself,” she slurred on the other end. 

     You roll your eyes. Not wanting to cause her to breakdown again, you decided to just go along with what she was saying. “Well, okay then. Thanks for asking first,” you say sarcastically. “When will he be here?” You meet eyes with Jimin, the look of disappointment on his face.

      “He’s here now. We’re waiting for you,” she says.

     You smack your lips, “Shit, seriously? Okay I’ll be right out.” You end the call, quickly pulling your outfit back into place.

     “I’m sorry Jimin. It was great meeting you tonight, and I didn’t want to end it like this. But, I have to go because Emily, the girl from earlier, decided to call the Uber back” you ramble. 

     He laughs, hands in his front pockets while he watched you get flustered. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

     You nod at him for a final response before pushing yourself out of the bathroom. You push past people as you speed walked all the way through the club and outside to meet the Uber driver. You could tell it was the right one since Emily had her head sticking out the window on the drunk lookout for you. You plop down in the backseat out of breath.

     “Same place as before?” The Uber driver asks.

     “Yes please,” you nod. Emily lays her head on your shoulder. You watched the club disappear behind the car. It wasn’t long before you and Jimin both realize one thing: you forgot to get each other’s numbers.

Requested by: I lost the usernames from the rest of my requests, so I’m sorry :(

#bangtan seonyeondan #bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts imagines #park jimin #jimin #jeon jungkook #jungkook #park jimin x reader #jimin x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Brain on Fire

[Tour!verse]

TW: Violence

———————

“Hey, queens,” The music director’s slurred, croaking voice resonates in each of the queen’s earpieces. “You-you guys are doing great, but...I’m gonna get Michelle to come- to come play the rest of the show for me. I-I don’t f-feel too good. I-I think I’m- I’m gonna- I... I’m sorry.”

—————

The soft tune of smooth jazz played through the underground café. The place was almost empty aside from the woman at the counter and a lone customer near the corner.

The third addition to the café entered: a scrawny, thin little thing with hair so white it doesn’t even seem blonde anymore. Any skin that could be seen was grimy and pale. Her dark brown eyes were heavy with bags from lack of sleep. She’s wearing some basic clothes, but they looked a little too big on her.

“Coffee,” She croaked to the lady behind the counter.

The worker nods, retreating behind a plain black door. Upon returning, the girl has taken up a seat on one of the barstools, slumped partway over the countertop. Her eyes drift restlessly over the scars on the counter's tarnished surface. She looks up when a cup and saucer is set in front of her, trailing steam. It smells ordinary.

Leaning over the cup to let the whorls invade her lungs, Joan hums vaguely. Making any noise will hurt, but the steam itself feels kind of nice.

In an effort to be polite, Joan smiles thinly. Out of the corner of her eye, she's watching the other customer. Brown-haired, slumped over in the seat with its head down, humming to itself.

When she looked up again, the lady was gone. She shivered and left some money on the counter and her coffee untouched. She slid out of the stool and just stood aimlessly at the bar. Her head is starting to hurt. The fear deep within her bubbles up and up and up.

What the hell was she doing? Did she think being here was going to do some good for her? So she could brag about how she went out to a near-barren underground café instead of staying at the theater working?

(She was missing so much work)

This wasn’t going to make the others want to be around her again. This wasn’t going to make them like her.

Sighing, she turned to leave, and that’s when her brittle wrists were grabbed.

“How rude,” Said the customer from the corner. “Leaving without saying hello.”

Joan is too shocked to voice her distress. Her eyes are wide and bulging, but she tries to struggle, not wanting to give in this easily (not again).

Joan twists her arms and yanked backwards, slipping free. She glares at the man before her.

“Do you greet everyone like that?” The man asked, obviously trying to set her off again.

It did.

Joan, feeling liquid fire burning through her veins, lunges forward to attack, using a stool as her weapon of choice.

This is what she should have done in her past life- fight, not sit by and let some entitled, piece of shit man beat her to pieces.

But then she saw the gleam of a pipe and heard the ugly, familiar sound of bones cracking. Something connected with her chest; she was on the ground, little starbursts flitting in and out of her vision.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?”

He grabbed her by the head and hooks his dirty fingers in the red hot crevice on the back of her skull, making his victim whine in pain.

“It was just trying to enjoy a drink, and then you come along and ruin my break. That’s all you do, really. I can tell.”

He shakes her head wildly for a moment before letting go, watching her slump to the ground.

Joan feels dazed. Her right ear was ringing painfully, while the other leaked blood. She’s crying, maybe. Clawing at the floorboards, writhing around like she’s trying to wiggle out of her own skin. She’s soon gasping and wheezing in the midst of pain. Red bubbles from her lips and she chokes on her struggle. It makes the man laugh.

“Go ahead,” He taunted. “Bleed out and die, see if it changes anything. Let’s see if it makes anyone care. When you get back, the world will still be horrible.“

Joan whimpered pathetically. A boot comes down to press on her ribs with full weight. She feels something in her chest crack and fracture.

“You are garbage.”

The man’s boot connected to Joan’s chin with a crunch. It made everything go dark for a moment. He was stepping on her tiny, frail body, digging his heel in. He only stops when he sees her eyes shutting.

“Hey, stay with me! I’m not done having fun with y- What is it now?”

There’s a garbled, snapping voice.

“Okay! Okay! Fine!”

Due to the extent of her injuries, it's a little difficult to focus on what's going on around her, but she knows she’s being dragged to the front room where the staircase leading up to the street was.

“You're lucky,” Said the man.

He returns to the inside of the café, shutting the door and leaving Joan alone in that little room.

Inhaling is painful. Joan winces and shuts her eyes again, but it makes no difference.

————

The chilled tile of the theater bathroom floor bites Joan to the bone. She presses her aching head to it, willing the intense pain radiating throughout her skull to go away if she added enough pressure.

It didn’t.

A moan of pain bubbles up from her lips. She feels sick, she feels so sick, but the migraine is worse. Her head is being bashed open- someone is digging their hands into a crack down her scalp and pulling her head apart. It splits like a watermelon, chunks of flesh and shards of bone spewing up and out in a wondrous fountain of gore. The hands pick apart her brain, pulling out and everything and everything and everything until her brain is no more and the remainder of her head becomes a bowl of stew of mushed matter and sludge and slush that sloshes in its confinement. The goop splashes up over the edges of her fragmented, frayed cheeks, streaming like gory tears down to her chin, going drip, drip, drip onto the tile below. The fingers stir the mess and her orifices began to leak with the mushy stuff, oozing out from her nose and barely-intact-ears and mouth.

Then, she coughs and the hands rip out, becoming barbed claws that shred the flesh they pass. The cough becomes a whine and fresh tears spill down her cheeks.

It hurts so badly.

She wishes she had taken painkillers. She wishes she had went to the hospital. She wishes she hadn’t gone to that fucking underground café.

She wishes someone fucking cared.

Joan attempts to get up, but her arms won’t work. Her limbs feel tingly and numb. Everything is going dark again and she begins to cry harder.

She began to speak, but her tongue is like lead and the words come out heavily slurred and garbled. She’s begging for help, praying to any God to send someone to save her- an angel, a guardian, hell, Satan could send a demon and she would rather have the beast than be alone any longer.

Her prayers seemed to go unanswered...but then she hears a noise and an angel swathed in veils of gold appeared before her very eyes. Her gown is sparkling beneath the fluorescent lights, glimmering like little stars that were stolen from the night sky and used to adorn her dress. And if the cloth was the stars, then her skin was the milky way, so luscious and unblemished, contrasting perfectly with the twin pieces of sun that were her burning eyes.

Joan’s head lolled around to look at her. She blinked through a blizzard of black, fighting furiously against the raging ebony snow that threatened to bury her vision in a pitch avalanche. Every shred of skin along her scalp sang an agonized song of anguish when she attempted to get up again- her bruised brain begged her to stay lying down where it didn’t hurt as much, but her heart was demanding that she went to the angel.

Her heart was stronger than her brain, she knew it was, but then warmth spread through her hair and her elbows buckled- she’s back on the floor, seeing fake images floating around the room like a mobile made of cruel fantasies.

Joan whimpered. Her wet hair smears across the tile, painting it in a brilliant shade of crimson.

When she looks over, the angel is gone.

—————

Aragon rushed to retrieve a paper towel, wetting it until it was a mushy brown pulp in her hand before returning to the bathroom stall.

Joan appears to barely be conscious. Honestly, Aragon thought she had blacked out until she pressed the paper towel to the cut on the back of her head and she whined sharply in pain.

“Hush,” Aragon told her. She shifts the girl in her arms, propping her up a little more. The movement jars Joan to awareness- or, as aware as a girl with a gash on her noggin may be.

“Wh...wha...”

“Don’t speak.” Aragon said sternly. “Hold still for a moment. I’m going to pick you up, alright? Cleves pulled my car up, so it won’t be long.”

A string of slurred words fall from Joan’s lips. Her pupils are so big beneath the glaze coating her eyes.

Aragon gathers the girl up into her arms. She’s alarmed by how easy it is to lift her, but the music director’s weight and eating habits was the least of her concern right now.

People stared as she walked out to the parking lot. She did her best to disperse the looks with glares of her own, narrowing her eyes warningly at anyone who glanced over for just a bit too long. One of the more notable people who gawked was Jane. Aragon didn’t give her any attention.

During the car ride to the hospital, Joan seemed to gather herself up a little more. Her pupils have shrunk, but her eyes were still foggy. She was articulating and enunciating a little better, at least.

“A...Aragon,” She managed to say with some effort. “Where...-?”

“The hospital, Joan. You are bleeding.” Aragon said. She hadn’t meant for her voice to come out so biting, and the words nip with sharp teeth at Joan’s self esteem. She would apologize if she wasn’t so focused on speeding to he emergency room. “Something you failed to do.”

Joan flinched. She shrunk back against the car door, hunching her shoulders in. Lightning bolts of pain shoot down her neck when she tries to move it, rattling her spinal cord and making it throb, too. She just barely manages to bite back a moan of anguish.

“Aragon...”

“Don’t talk, Joan.” Aragon said.

The cut at the back of her head pulsates. She can feel her heartbeat throbbing in the bloody folds of the wound and she doesn’t think that’s normal. She tries to look at Aragon, see if her face was contorted with annoyance and rage, but a hammer comes down on her skull when she tries to. She just whimpers again.

Upon arriving at the hospital, Aragon parks and helps Joan inside (she had assured the queen that she could walk on her own, which was very much a lie). Aragon has the fill out the forms because Joan seemed to have forgotten if she was right or left handed and how to even properly use a pen.

Then, the waiting game began.

Joan started to tremble in exhaustion and pain after ten minutes of sitting in that clean-smelling waiting room. She’s hunched over slightly, swaying forward and backward and staring at the polished floor with those big, glossy eyes of hers. The cut on her head is like a beacon of scarlet, so bright and angry against her platinum hair. When Aragon looked at it, her own head began to hurt.

“Sit back,” Aragon pulled on the girl’s shoulder, getting her to recline against the back of the chair. “Do you need some water?”

“I don’t- think- I don’t think I can drink anything.” Joan said, having to think about what came out of her mouth. If she waited too long, the letters on her tongue would morph into something else entirely.

“Are you sure?”

Joan nodded. The hammer slammed down once more.

“Alright.”

Ten more minutes pass. Joan’s breathing is so shallow, now, but she’s definitely fully conscious. Her eyes dart around wildly, trying to look at every little thing at once. The shaking is more prominent. A warm trail of blood drools lazily down the back of her neck.

Aragon isn’t sure why or when she took her hand, but now Joan is clinging tightly to her. She rubs the girl’s knuckles with her thumb, which seems to be the most wonderful thing in the world to her. It makes Aragon a little sad.

Finally, after half an hour, a nurse calls Joan’s name.

The smaller hand in Aragon’s tightens and she gave it a comforting squeeze. She and Joan follow the nurse down a white hallway and into an examination room. Not that much examination was necessary- it was very clear that Joan needed more than just a little antibiotic and rest.

When the doctor declared that stitches were going to have to be put in, Joan blanched, which didn’t seem possible because she was already as white as a ghost, but here they were.

“S-stitches?” Joan squeaked when the doctor left to get everything ready.

“Yes, pumpkin,” Aragon said. The silly little pet name slipped right from her lips and she wasn’t even ashamed of it. She liked the way it sounded when referring to Joan. “You need to get your head patched up, then you’ll feel so much better.”

Joan just nodded silently. She clutched tighter to Aragon’s hand.

“I-I’m scared.” She whispered.

“I know.” Aragon did- she could feel the poor thing shaking. “But you’re gonna be just fine. I’ll be right here with you.”

Another nod.

The doctor and a few nurses enter. One of them glances at Aragon as a syringe is getting prepared.

“I’m her mother.” Aragon said without a second thought.

The nurse nodded, then brandishes a razor from the tray of tools brought it. Joan flinches back, her eyes bugging a little.

“Wh-what?”

The nurse gives her a pitiful look.

“We have to shave parts of your head, dear.” She explained gently. “Hold still, alright? This won’t hurt.”

She was right- it didn’t hurt. In fact, it tickled, but, despite Joan’s slight giggles from the vibrations against her skin, she was anything but at ease. Now she was starting to feel embarrassed. How will the crew and fans react when she shows up with parts of her head fucking shaved? She can already hear the mockery echoing in her ears.

Once the layers of stained platinum white-blonde falls away, the wound is revealed. It’s a nasty little thing- probably five inches in length with a maw that’s inflamed and swollen, crusted with half-dried blood and sticky pus. Joan whines softly when tweezers are used to pluck away any remaining strands that may have been caught in the discharge.

“This is just going to numb your head, alright?” The doctor said, showing her a syringe.

“Squeeze my hand, darling.” Aragon murmured, “Squeeze my hand.”

Joan felt a pinch in her skull and whimpered softly. Almost immediately after, she feels cool numbered spread rapidly throughout her scalp until she could barely feel the intense pounding of the hammer anymore.

“Alright, Joan,” The doctor said, “We’re going to begin, now. Are you ready?”

Seeing as she didn’t have much of a choice, Joan nodded.

She felt the first prick of the needle and the way the thread slid through her flesh, but then the feeling melted away into the gentle buzzing that filled the rest of her head.

The process of stitching up her wound was...surprisingly peaceful. She sat there on the examination table like an obedient little Samoyed puppy getting its hurt ear patched up. The nurses and doctors made idle conversation, but she didn’t really pay attention to the things they were saying. All her focus was on Aragon and her hand in her own.

Had she...really said that she was her mother? Did she actually hear that correctly? Perhaps she was just saying that to stay inside...but why would she want stick around? Wouldn’t she want to get as far away from Joan as possible?

Twenty minutes later, the final thread is snipped and bandages are applied to the stitching. As her “mother”, Aragon is informed about proper care while the cut is healing and is given antibiotics that Joan would need to take. Finally, after all of that was said and done, they’re allowed to leave.

Joan thanks Aragon profusely upon arriving to her apartment complex, but then she sees Aragon unbuckling and getting out.

“Wh-what are you doing?” She stammered.

“You really think I’m going to let you be alone?” Aragon said, raising an eyebrow. “Sorry, but I don’t trust you to take care of yourself. I’m spending the night.”

Joan didn’t argue. She knew better than to challenge Catherine of Aragon, so she let the queen help her up to her apartment and over to the couch once inside. A cat came up to greet them, rubbing up against Joan’s legs lovingly and then meowing curiously at Aragon.

“And who is this?” Aragon asked.

Joan blusher shyly. “Her name is Whatever.”

Aragon raised an eyebrow.

“When I got her, I didn’t know what to name her so I asked one of the crew members and they just said, ‘Whatever.’” Joan explained, “So I went with it.”

Aragon blinked and then laughed.

Cutie, She thought.

“I like it,” Aragon said.

Joan smiled sheepishly back at her.

“Now, what do you want for dinner?”

—————

Aragon awoke to the sound of a whimper.

Wait, no-

She hadn’t been asleep, actually, she was wide awake reading a book Cathy had recommended to her, and she was VERY invested it in (she knew her goddaughter had good taste, but not THIS GOOD). She looked up from the pages and glanced at the time displayed on the TV. It read, “11:37.”

Another whimper.

Aragon put in her bookmark and closed the book. She got up from the couch she was supposed to be sleeping on and walked to the master bedroom, where she found Joan silently crying into her blankets.

“Joan?” She whispered.

She saw the figure in the bed tense with a tiny sob.

“Joan, what’s wrong?”

No answer.

Aragon navigated her way over to the bed and flicked on the lap that was on the nightstand. The glow illuminated the tears etched down Joan’s cheeks and the pain twisting her features.

“Oh, sweetheart...” Aragon murmured, her heart clenching.

“It hurts,” Joan whispered. She was white-knuckling her blankets so tightly it was a wonder that the bone has yet to pop out. “I-it hurts so bad....”

As if getting to sleep wasn’t already hard enough. Now she has to deal with an intense, radiating burn all throughout her head.

“I’m going to go get the medicine,” Aragon said. She left quickly, returning just as fast with the antibiotics and an ice pack. “Can you sit up for me, pumpkin? Just for a moment.”

Joan nodded weakly and pushed herself up just enough to swallow the foul-tasting medicine. Almost instantly, she falls back down again and curls into a trembling ball.

“S-stay with me?” She begged, “Please, please stay with me.”

“Of course.” Aragon sat down on the bed and Joan, very shyly, puts her head in her lap. She smiled and teased the baby hairs on the back of her neck with fluttering fingers. “Somebody’s cuddly.” She purred.

Joan makes a muffled, “mmm” and buried her face against the softness of Aragon’s pajama pants. She keeps herself smothered there for a moment before raising her chin slightly.

“Everyone is gonna make fun of me...” She mumbled.

“What?” Aragon looked down at her.

“The cast,” Joan explained. “And the fans. They’re gonna make fun of me. Part of my head is bald...”

“Why do you care so much about what other people think?” Aragon asked.

“Because it hurts to know people think such horrible things about you,” Joan replied. “I’m not as confident as you are, Aragon...”

“Please, call me Catalina.” Aragon said. “And I won’t let them say a word to me. If they do, let me know. I’ll rivet them a new asshole.”

Joan giggled softly. At the same time, she felt heat rise to her cheeks.

“C-Catalina?” She said softly. She was also testing out the name and sounded nice on her tongue.

“Yes, mija?”

“Wh-what you said to that nurse earlier...about being my mother...”

“Ah,” Aragon nodded. “Right. I hope you didn’t mind, but I still mean what I said. I want to look after you, Joan. It must have been so long since you’ve had a mother, huh?”

A whimper bubbles to Joan’s throat and she nodded. It had been a long time, and it’s not like her own mother was ever really there for her.

A second whimper comes up, but it morphs into a tiny sob. She clutched tightly at Aragon’s pants, now openly crying.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” She blubbered over and over again through a haze of tears.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay. Shh...” Aragon stroked her hair, making sure to avoid the wounded part. Her other hand holds the weeping girl securely. “I’m right here, snowflake.”

Pumpkin and now snowflake? Aragon smiled to herself. She was on a roll with these adorable pet names! (Plus: Joan has whitish hair, so snowflake makes perfect sense! It was either that or snowball.)

“Mama...” Joan whimpered out without even really thinking it through. If she wasn’t in the middle of a dazed breakdown, then she might have been mortified with embarrassment.

Aragon, on the other hand, just smiled even wider. In fact, the grin seemed a little giddy.

“I’m right here,” She murmured to the girl. “I’m right here, pumpkin. You’re gonna be just fine... You must be so tired, aren’t you?”

Joan nodded feebly, tiny whimpers still bubbling up to her lips.

“Close your eyes. Try to rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

Aragon leaned down to press a soft kiss to Joan’s forehead.

“I promise.”

But she lied.

When morning came, Joan awoke to a daze of dizziness and pain and an empty bed. She looked around frantically, hurting her head further, and her blood ran icy cold.

Of course. Did she really expect Aragon to stay? She was probably recording the whole time and is now telling and showing the entire cast and-

There was a noise in the kitchen- a clatter of pots and the sizzling of eggs. Sock-padded feet approach the room.

The golden-swathed angel appeared in the doorway.

“Good morning, snowflake,” Aragon cooed, smiling warmly at the girl. She crosses over and gave her a gentle hug. The soft kiss pressed to her temple nearly sent Joan to whatever plane of existence this wonderful, amazing woman came from. “I hope you’re hungry.”

#six the musical #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical tour #uk tour six #mamagon #tour catherine of aragon #tour joan on the keys #tw: violence

[antepenultimatefantasy]

FFX Playthrough Part 18

Hang on, Sin. We’ve gotta catch butterflies

-Aww yiss. World map. Sidequest heaven.

-So first, I go and collect all of the little treasures hidden in secret areas behind passwords and coordinates

-Then it’s back to Zanarkand to pick up the missing treasure from Tetris land

-With all of the temple treasures collected, we head to the Baaj Temple (fantasy Florida) to beat up ribcage fish

-And meet Seymour’s mom!

-She’s the fayth of Anima, the terrifying aeon of suffering

-Her short story – choosing to become a fayth to give power and confidence to her mixed race son, but ultimately leaving him thirsting for something that he’ll never have – is crazy compelling

-And Anima has such an evocative design

-Anyway, she needs a mom name, so she’ll be Beverly

-We then head to the Calm Lands to pick up everything we need to get the last obtainable aeon, The Magus Sisters!

-Which means kicking Belgemine’s ass for the last time

-Which is really easy with Anima

-God, her summoning animation, where she gets pulled out of hell (?) with a hook in her neck is so badass

-Don’t! Mess! With! Beverly!

-Anyway, Yuna gets the Magus Sisters, who are the three baddest drag queens in all Spira

-They’re sassy, classy (and a little bit assy)

-I’m naming them Jesse, James, and Meowth

-Now that Belgemine’s bloodlust is sated, we send her to the farplane and continue on our merry way

-And get ultimate weapons!

-Honestly, I love/hate this part

-Some are so fun to get (Yuna, Auron, Rikku)

-Some are hell (Tidus, Lulu)

-Because I have all the aeons I already have everything I need for Yuna’s, so check that off the list

-Auron’s requires capturing monsters in a bunch of different places, so I’ll do that concurrently with some others

-The poor fiends in the beginning of the game are just getting truly demolished by my team

-UH

-In a moment of clear karmic retribution, at Mushroom Rock Road the team gets totally eviscerated by Dark Jessie, James, and Meowth

-Note to self: don’t go there ever again

-Okay, getting Rikku’s weapon is so fun

-Love hunting these cute little hot mess cactuar guardians

-Of all of the final fantasy enemies, cactuars have to be among the best

-Ugh, same Chava

-Oh fuck, we accidentally push Elio off the airship when we catch him

-You were too good for this world, sweet prince

-Okay, so after slaughtering all of those cute little Cactuar, and destroying whole ecosystems up and down Spira, we now have Yuna, Rikku, and Auron’s final weapons. 

-Now for the hard ones

-It’s butterfly time for Kimahri!

-Honestly I always remember this minigame being much more miserable than it actually is

-It’s honestly made much better by imagining Kimahri prancing through the forest collecting butterflies

-Okay, 4 down, 3 to go

-Getting Wakka’s ultimate weapon though?

-The worst

-UGH

-So much blitzball! 

-Final Fantasy? More like FIFA Fantasy!

-Am I right?

-Anyway, I have to play like 100 Blitzball games because I drank dumb bitch juice and didn’t space it out throughout the journey

-So I break it up with other ultimate weapon getting

-All that’s left is Tidus and Lulu

-The two hardest ones….

-RIP in peace me

-OMG

-By some pure stroke of luck, I got Tidus’s within like half an hour! 

-The balloon/bird god was smiling down on me

-I’ve only ever gotten it one other time and it took me like three days! 

-Take that, Chocobo jock lady!

-Getting Lulu’s though?

-Dodging that lightning?

-It’s literal hell

-Like I get it in four tries

-But my blood pressure and stress levels are so high throughout the whole thing

-My lizard brain literally thinks I’m being hunted by predators and my heart rate is racing

-I literally think I’m going to have a stroke while dodging the last 10 bolts

-Ugh I’m so glad that’s over

-And then it’s just an endless expanse of Blitzball in front of me

-I’ve recruited like a really good team so I don’t even have to expend effort to win, which in some ways is worse because each game is SO BORING and takes SO LONG

-Fun little hack though, if you hang out in your own goal and all of the opponents are far enough away, no one will come bother you and you can run down the clock 

-Easy!

-Also, after playing 44 games (I counted) the recruitment on all the teams got super wonky

-The original Aurochs now mostly play for Luca? 

-The Guado Glories now have a total of 2 Guado on them (out of 6 players)

-The Al Bhed Psyches recruited a couple of Guado?

-Guess they got over all that *checks notes* genocide

-And finally, when I feel like I’ve forgotten the plot of this game, we have everyone’s weapons!

-Last stop before story time? Omega Ruins

-Basically where a dude 700 years ago hated Yevon so much that he turned into a giant superboss

-Honestly, that’s not such a bad deal

-This cave is filled with real bad baddies

-Including a fake of Omega?

-Who you can just bribe to go away?

-Anway, when it comes time to fight the real Omega, Jessie, James, and Meowth make short work of him

-And it’s all sort of anti-climactic?

-Auron’s just like “Shoo back to the Farplane”

-Then we leave

-Welp, that’s everything I wanted to do before beating the game! (No, I’m not gonna overpower everyone and take on all of the wild stuff that happens at the monster arena)

-Most everyone’s already doing 5-digit+ damage, so I think we’ll be fine

-Back to world saving!

#Final Fantasy #ffx #ffx tidus #ffx yuna #ffx rikku #ffx kimahri #ffx lulu #ffx wakka #ffx auron #playthrough

[godlyvan]

2 | A LITTLE BIT GOES A LONG WAY

SUMMARY | ice play and blindfolds always make for a good time.

WARNINGS | smut and swearing

A/N | here’s the second installment of ‘inexperienced’! i hope you enjoy it, and i’m terribly sorry the ending is kind of shit. i wrote a really fucking good version before google docs decided it wasn’t important enough to save. enjoy!

PART TWO OF FIVE IN THE ‘INEXPERIENCED’ SERIES / PART ONE X

He liked the sex they had a few weeks ago. In fact, he liked it so much that he often had dreams about it. He remembered how good it felt, pushing her hips down with his hands so she wouldn’t move. He wanted to venture more ― see what else he could try. He didn’t go out and research what he could all try, what would be the fun in that? He had a lovely girlfriend with fantasies that run wild everywhere. He’d wait until she came home and ask what she had in mind as well, aside from him fucking her really hard.

But she wouldn’t come home until the middle of the night, Van’s eyes slowly adjusting to the lights being turned on. “Shit, did I wake you up, babe?”

“A bit, was waiting for you, love.” He spoke with a raspy voice, his hands finding her lower back. His arms were loosely wrapped around her waist, his head resting on her shoulder. Her hands rubbed his back, pulling away from him.

“Let’s get you to bed, yeah?” She said quietly, Van’s head nodding lightly. He followed Y/N’s leading hand into their bedroom. She turned to him and pulled his shirt off of him as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Lift your arms for me, please.”

Next to go were his pants, leaving on his socks and underwear. He did the little kid grabby hands thing, wanting Y/N to come to bed. She chuckled, throwing on a sweatshirt of Van’s. Her bare legs felt warm against Van’s undeniably cold feet. She didn’t understand how someone so warm, could have such cold feet and hands. But nonetheless, she left his feet be, not caring about the way they felt against her skin. She pulled his body into hers, his head finding a home on her chest, his ear pressed against the skin where her heart would be hidden behind her ribcage. His arms, yet again, loosely wrapped around her middle, occasionally running his thumb over the skin on her hips. “Missed you.”

She would have to wake up earlier than him in the morning, disappearing off to work to spend her day answering phone calls. She had to shower, get ready and get out as quietly as possible. Van needed all the sleep he could get. Y/N didn’t mind her job, anything to keep her busy while Van was away on tour. She quickly placed a kiss high on his cheekbone and left.

Van woke up around three-thirty, wondering if people could really sleep for that long. His body needed it more than anything, getting three hours of sleep at least every night was not good for him. He was the lead singer, he should be getting six to eight hours, letting his body replenish itself while he slept. Thankfully, Catfish were taking a break, writing songs for their fourth album. This meant for the next year, he could do festivals and still spend loads of time with his girlfriend. And that’s when he face palmed, realizing he forgot to ask her about trying new things. He grabbed his phone, pressing the call button next to Y/N’s name.

"Hey, can we talk when you get home tonight?" Van asked into the phone, licking his lips afterwards. His hold on the phone was practically a death grip. He was so scared of even talking about it. Was she going to think he was weird?

"Sure thing! May I ask what we're going to be discussing?" Her voice rung through the phone, Van's cheeks becoming pink. He was blushing, not knowing who was listening. He hesitated before finding his voice.

"I just wanted to talk to you about trying new things."

"What new things?" She fucking knew what he was talking about. Her pen was tucked between her teeth, biting on it as she smiled. She knew Van would become flustered, either mad or just plain embarrassed.

"Like… sexual new things. I liked what we did three weeks ago. I wanna do that again… but more. I wanna try different things than that."

"Okay, baby. We'll talk about that when I get home, alright? I should be there around four." They said goodbye and hung up. He was super fucking nervous. Van loved Y/N more than anything, so he trusted her with every fiber of his being. She could quite honestly bring anything new to the table, and he'd get down on his knees and beg for her to touch him. Was she going to ask him to do that? Was he going to have to beg for something?

His imagination wandered while he waited for her to come home. What would she make him beg for? Would he have to beg her to let him cum, or was she not going to control that? Would he have to beg to touch her, or please her? Fuck, his mind was being filled with dreams of what could possibly happen. He loved every second of it. It excited him -- even talk of trying new things made him lightheaded, every drop of blood draining from his head. It all rushed to his dick, his thoughts rearranging into fits of fantasies being played out like a movie in his head. Oh how he wished he could touch her skin in this moment.

His hands would run over every inch of skin they could, drinking in her every curve. His lips would find their way to the valley of her breasts, kissing the skin until he reached her nipple. He'd take it into his mouth, the other hand occupying the untouched breast, kneading it in his hand. He'd swirl his tongue around the bundle of nerves, hearing his beautiful babygirl moan louder than before. He loved hearing her moan, the way she melted into his touch, and called out his name…

"Van? Baby, I'm home! Can we talk now?" She called through the apartment, Van snapping out of his thoughts. Fuck, think of anything gross… old ladies naked in the shower kissing old, naked men, he thought, scrambling to try and make his erection disappear. It helped, for the most part, it was going to be hide a semi when all he wears is skinny jeans. "Hey, baby, I missed you! How was your day?"

"Y/N, is it alright if we just cut to the chase? I'm really fucking nervous." He admitted, walking over to her in the kitchen. He leaned up against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. She nodded, softly kissing his cheekbone. "I really, really liked three weeks ago. I didn't know that… that stuff could feel good, you know? Always been in my little world… I'm ready to see the rest of it. I want you to show me the rest of it."

"Really?" She asked, her eyes lighting up a bit. She was excited to hear this, a long, long list accumulating as they spoke. There were so many things she'd like to show him, and also try herself. "Well, we're going to start out small, if that's okay? I don't want to overwhelm you on the first try."

"Yeah, that actually sounds really nice. What are we starting with, and can we start today?" He asked quietly, looking down at his bulge. Y/N smiled, bringing his face to hers. She nodded, kissing him again. "Are you gonna tell me what it is, love?"

"That'd be too easy. Just let's go get you undressed, shall we?" She smirked, taking Van's hand. She lead him up to the bedroom, sitting him down on the edge of their bed. She slowly unbuttoned every single one on his shirt, agonizingly slow. She pushed the button up off of his shoulders, letting him take it off the rest of the way. Her hands danced over his pectoral muscles, drawing swirls inside the patch of chest hair. She usually didn't like chest hair, hating the way it would interfere with her trailing kisses down torsos, but on Van, it was actually fucking sexy. She loved every hair on his body.

Next to go were his pants, Y/N left Van to remove, them, settling back down on the bed once again. She made him move towards the headboard, pulling out one of the black ties Van owned. It was strange - seeing him in it for the first time, but he looked so good, she dragged him by the tie around all night. Her body secretly wished that she would be tied up with it while he fucked her senseless. "What you doin' with those babe?"

"Goin' around your eyes so you can't see anything, is that alright with you, or do you want to wait?" He shook his head, as he thought before, he would want to do anything she wanted to.

"I'd do anything with, and for, you." He admitted, feeling the silk of his tie begin to wrap around his head. He couldn't see anything, his world becoming pitch black. He was nervous, again, to say the very least. She'd told him that she'd be right back, going to grab something before they'd start. And when she came back, he barely heard a thing. His hands were behind his head, supporting it as if he'd been watching television. "Babe? Are you there?"

"I'm here, baby," she held her hand out to him, touching his hip. He'd been left in his boxers, Y/N snapped the band of them against his skin. "I'm gonna start now, okay? I want you to guess what it is, alright?"

"Okay," his voice was shaky. He wanted to move, change into a position that made him more vulnerable, but he felt he was already there. Her left hand reached for him, her right holding an ice cube in her hand. She quickly put it in her mouth, hovering over his body. He gasped, feeling the coolness against skin. She started on his neck, dragging it up and down wherever she could. The ice cube began to melt even more against his hot skin, but he loved every second of it so far.

“What is it, baby?”

“I-Ice,” she nodded, remembering that he wouldn’t be able to see. Instead, her answer was pushing another ice cube in her mouth, bringing her lips to his this time. She pushed the melting ice cube into his mouth, letting it fully melt. She got off the bed, drinking a little bit of the water in the cup of ice she had on the bedside table. Van didn’t know where she went, he couldn’t see anything, but he could still feel that she was in the room. She found a place to sit down on the bed, resting between his legs after she pushed them apart. Her mouth kissed his torso everywhere, slowly moving further south. Her lips occupied his collarbones while she played with the waistband of his boxers. He whined, bucking his hips up to meet her hand, “Baby, please.”

She dipped her hand below his waistband, grabbing him with her hand, beginning to pump him slowly at first. If anyone could see him, his eyebrows would be furrowed, his eyes screwed tight. His mouth hung open, the sight before Y/N more beautiful than anything she’d ever seen before. Her mouth would soon replace her hand though, making Van’s moans echo throughout the room, after she fully removed his boxers, tossing them by his pants and shirt, wherever they were. She loved the sound of him - his moans had always been the sexiest things she’d ever listened to.

He was afraid he was enjoying it too much, mouth fucking her, his dick hitting the back of her throat. He pulled the blindfold off, wanting to see that she was alright. Her mouth left his body, her hand taking its spot for the moment. “Van, you’re all good, okay? This is about you right now, about making you feel good. Okay?”

“O-Okay, fuck,” he groaned once her mouth regained its rightful place. He was putty in her hands. From the minute he felt the ice against his skin, to right fucking now. He was entirely hers; mind, body, and soul would always completely belong to her. His moans gradually were getting louder, his eyes flickering down to where she was. His hands made fists into the duvet on their bed, his stomach tensing. He was close, Y/N knew it too. He didn’t know if it was alright to cum in her mouth, was it? “Babe -”

He went to pull her face from his hard-on, but she shook her head around him, making Van moan once again. He whispered as he felt his release right on the edge, “Oh God. Oh, fuck me, fuck, fuck.” He came in her mouth, Y/N swallowing all of it before grabbing a drink of water. She smiled over at Van, kissing his lips. “Thank you for that, darlin’. I really liked that.”

“I’m glad. Wanna shower?”

“No, it’s your turn now, or is that not okay? Don’t you wanna be able to cum too?” She nodded, biting her lip. He pulled at the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. He used one hand to unbutton her jeans, the other unclasping her bra. It was honestly amazing how good he was at multitasking. She pulled off her pants, throwing them wherever. She got on the bed, her back against the mattress. She smiled as Van’s mouth found her neck. “I’m not gonna use the ice, okay? Way to horny for that shit right now.”

“All good,” she chuckled, letting Van’s lips relax her. He kissed everywhere, his mouth falling between her breasts. He kissed his way to one nipple, wrapping his mouth around it. The other breast was occupied by a hand massaging it, making a moan fall from Y/N’s lips. He switched his position, littering kisses all over her other breast before making his way towards her womanhood. He pressed kisses above and below her navel, putting his hand on her hips, meeting her underwear. He began to pull them down slowly, pressing kisses to the skin that was new to the air in the room.

He tossed her underwear with the rest of the clothing, putting her legs on his shoulders. He kissed her inner thigh, inching closer and closer to where she needed him. He started off slow, putting his flat tongue on her before be would speed up, his tongue drawing figure eights on her clit. His tongue focused on her clit, one finger slipping into her. One finger soon became two, which soon became three. Her moans could probably be heard throughout the whole house. Her hands found themselves in his hair, tugging at his roots, bringing his face up to hers. It stung, but he liked it, hissing at the contact. His mouth molded against hers, both of them moaning into each other’s mouth.

“Faster, Van, please.” She whined, bringing her hips to meet his hand, grinding against it. He complied, picking up the pace. Her hands were still in his hair, still tugging on it, her hips moving erratically as she began to orgasm. She brought her mouth onto Van’s, his body pressing against hers. She loved every second of it, as did he. “Holy shit, babe.”

“Holy shit is right,” Van laughed, lying next to Y/N on the bed. “We’ve gotta try more of this stuff. If you ever cum that hard again, I’ll probably just off by looking at ya.”

#van mccann is a god and a man™ #vanmccann #van mccann #van #mccann #vanfic #van fic #vanfiction #van fiction #van smut #godlyvan smut #inexperienced series #my fics #my series

[fawnnandfable]

Prompt List

Send in a number(s) and person and I’ll try my best. Even if they’re not in the tags just request them anyways, I write about almost everyone. It doesn't even have to be a WWE superstar.

1. “There are too many people on this planet. We need a new plague.”

2.  “I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.”

3.  “Occasionally I’ll hit someone with my car.”

4. “You don’t know me; you’ve just seen my penis.”

5. “I’m gonna tell you all of my secrets.”

6. “I’ve only slept nine hours in the last four days.”

7. “I need you to text me every thirty seconds saying that everything is going to be okay.”

8. “Everything hurts and I’m dying.”

9. “I don’t want to be overdramatic but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.”

10. “How long do cats live? Like, assuming you don’t throw them under a bus or something?”

11. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”

12. “Seriously, good luck marrying me.”

13. “He may not be my soul mate but hey, a girl’s gotta eat.”

15. “Someone ate the only good thing going in my life.”

16. “These are just feelings, they’ll go away.”

17. “Hey, Baby, It’s me. Can you bail me out of jail?”

18. “Maybe the old lady with the face tattoo is right.”

19. “You know what I’d like to do right now? I’d like to hold your hand.”

20. “The best I can give you is a fake smile and dead eyes.”

21. “People like being lied to. They just don’t like finding out they’ve been lied to.”

22. “I want to fill a pillowcase with dead batteries and beat you with it.”

23. “Where’s my candy you son of a bitch?”

24. “The gym, or as I like to call it, the Institute of things I can’t do.”

25. “I have a black eye and I need ice

26. “I tell secrets. It’s just who I am.”

27. “Don’t put me in your fantasies. I don’t even like being in your real life.”

28. “I am not proud of what I am about to say…”

29. “But I don’t want to go outside.”

30. “You should know if you come any closer, I’m not letting you go.”

31. “Talking isn’t going to help me, okay? What’s going to help me is, like, drinking.”

32. “Kiss me like that again, pretty please.”

33. “I want to sleep with you tonight.”

34. “Has anyone told you how cute you are?”

35. “You have no idea how much I love you.”

36.  “What did you say?”

37. “Marry me.”

38. “Are you still awake..?”

39. “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

40. “I could kill you right now!”

41. “I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

42.“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

43. “Give me cake or give me death.”

44. “I just sometimes get the sudden urge to drop kick a small child across the room but I don’t because its frowned upon.”

45. “On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

46. “I would kill for you. Like actual murder.”

47. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

48. “Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

49. “I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

50. “I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

51. “That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

52. “I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

53. “You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

54. “The only STD I have is sexually transmitted desire…for you.”

55. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

56. “You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

57. “I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

58. “I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I sometimes find you repulsive.”

59. “I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”

60. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”

61. “You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

62. “When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

63. “It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

64. “Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

65. “You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

66. “Are you wearing my shirt?”

67. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

68. “They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

69. “Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

70. “Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

71. “Would you feel better if I let you hold my hand?”

72. “I’m glad you find my boyfriend attractive, now fuck off.”

73. “I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

74. “Do you love her?”

75. “And you wonder why we broke up in the first place.”

76. “Fuck that was so hot.”

77. “You belong with me.”

79.“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

80. “Hey, I’m right here. Shh you’re okay.”

81. “You know I never meant to hurt you, right?”

82. “Did you just call me (Your/Ex’s/Name?)

83. “I’ll give you a blowjob if you go and get me some skittles.”

84. “You mean the world to me.”

85. “I may be drunk but I know for a fact that I love you.”

86. “You smell good.”

87. “That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

88. “What the fuck are you giggling at? it’s 3am.”

89. “Can I be the little spoon tonight?”

90. “You’re mine. You got that?”

91. “You mean everything to me. And I’ll be damned if I were to let you walk out on me right now.”

92. “I swear to god I won’t have sex with you for a whole month if you don’t kill that eight legged motherfucker.”

93. “I know I’m your bestfriend but I want so much more.”

94. “I want kisses.”

95. “You’re mad.”

96. “Sure, go hangout with your ex. I mean, I might as well text mine, too.”

97. “You broke my fucking heart.”

98. “I have to let you go.”

99.“Wow you have nice abs.”

100. “You have such a nice butt.”

#finn balor imagine #baron corbin imagine #seth rollins imagine #dean ambrose imagine #roman reigns imagine #tj perkins imagine #aj syles imagine #karl anderson imagine #sami zayn imagine #wwe imagines #wwe imagine #cesaro imagine #sheamus imagine #tyer breeze imagine #jeff hardy imagine #matt hardy imagine #tyler bate imagine #trent seven imagine #pete dunne imagine #enzo amore imagine #chad gable imagine #corey graves imagine #dolph ziggler imagine #mojo rawley imagine #zack ryder imagine #jimmy uso imagine #jey uso imagine #luke gallows imagine #noam dar imagine #brian kendrick imagine

[artificialqueens]

just the two of us (hogwarts au) part eleven - shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - i’d like to apologize for the wait, things have been crazy and as ive said 83675345 times, I’m moving house (on friday!! yikes) so im very busy. however, i finished!! <3

i want to formally dedicate this chapter (and any others) to the heartbreaking anon who told me this fantasy world helped them escape their real life tragedy with their mother. whoever you are, my heart goes out to you and i hope that you enjoy this. <3 <3 <3

Thankfully, Alaska’s stay in the infirmary was short lived. According to what Dela had told her, she’d passed out for twenty four hours, during which time the purple hue of her skin had faded back into her usual rosy pink complexion. The antidote had done wonders for her, meaning she wasn’t going to be stuck with a slight sensation of nausea or dizziness unlike the other champions. She’d stayed overnight, passed out, and would be out in just a short while, whereas Phi Phi and poor Kim were going to be sick for a little while longer.

“-she was never out of this place yesterday, I swear sometimes I had to push her right through the doors to make sure she left. She was definitely determined that you didn’t wake up alone.” Dela was saying, bustling around the room as she chatted away to Alaska. “She’ll be upset that she missed you waking up. Dedicated, that one.”

Alaska craned her neck to look at the sheer amount of gifts surrounding her. They weren’t all from Sharon, obviously – some were from Willam, Courtney, Jinkx, and even just a few random admirers from the school wanting to congratulate her on her win. Perhaps it was a little self-centred of her, but Alaska wouldn’t have minded waking up every day to flowers, chocolate, and little novelty magic gifts.

“Speak of the devil and she shall appear. Back again, Needles?”

Alaska sat up as Sharon entered the room, delighting in how her girlfriend’s face lit up at the sight of her awake. Despite looking messy – her robe was slipping off of her shoulders, her skirt was rucked up, exposing some of her pale white thigh, and her hair was completely dishevelled – the huge smile that entered her face upon spotting Alaska made her look impossibly beautiful. As quickly as she could, she drew up beside Alaska and took her hand in her own.

“I’m so glad you’re not purple anymore!” She greeted, her cheeks flushed as she tried to catch her breath. “I was beginning to think I’d have a purple girlfriend forever, and whilst purple is a pretty colour I prefer you when you’re your normal beautiful self.”

She paused, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. “I’ve just ran from Care of Magical Creatures, it was – it was chaotic.”

Alaska grinned, using her thumb to clean a smudge of mud from Sharon’s cheek. “Oh yeah? Anything exciting happen?”

“Of course!” Sharon enthused. “We’ve had this huge influx of Blast-Ended Skrewts and they’re so fun – I may have burnt my wrist handling one of them but they’re kind of ugly cute? I don’t know. But we had so much fun learning about their care and getting hands on! It’s been – it’s been so good.”

Alaska couldn’t help giggling. “Babe, slow down. I’m not going anywhere, you can breathe. Did you take care of your burn?”

Sharon shrugged. “Burns aren’t important. I’ll tell you what is important, though.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You!” Sharon was practically bouncing. “You won the first task! I knew you could do it, I told everyone you could. I’m so proud of you! Come here, get here now.”

Alaska swung her legs out of bed, springing to her feet so that she could meet Sharon’s lips and wrap her arms around her. Although she was still a bit weak, she simply clung to Sharon and allowed her strength to keep the two of them upright as they embraced. She was fairly certain that Sharon’s arms were the only reason she was still on her feet as she felt herself melt a little into the familiar touch.

“Listen, listen.” Sharon began, holding Alaska at arm’s length and forcing her to look up at her. “You and I are going on a proper date. I’m taking you out. Got it?”

Alaska nodded, smiling so hard her cheeks started to ache.

“And I mean a proper date.” Sharon continued. “I’m not going to break any rules to get us there, I won’t get drunk and fight anybody – it’s gonna be you and me, doll. You and me.”

If Alaska had been weak before, she was positively helpless now. Her heart felt swollen, thudding in the centre of her chest and threatening to burst right through her ribcage. A real date? What would that entail? Despite not knowing, the thought still sent her reeling with excitement. The idea of having Sharon to herself – not to be interrupted by Phi Phi, or Professor Visage, or any of their friends – was beyond belief.

“When?” She found herself asking, almost without realizing. “Soon?”

Sharon’s eyes were sparkling. “Tonight.” She breathed. “They’re opening up Hogsmeade so all the new kids can explore, and I’ve heard of this cute little place we can go. You down?”

“Are you kidding?” Alaska said. “Of course I am!”

The smile that made its way onto Sharon’s face was positively electrifying. Just like before, her whole face lit up with pure, unadulterated joy; an expression Alaska had missed seeing. It suited her more than she’d ever know. Alaska lifted a hand to brush a curl of displaced white hair away from Sharon’s face, her eyes zeroing in on the exposed gap in her front teeth.

“You’re so cute,” She murmured, her fingers threading through Sharon’s hair as her free hand pulled the Slytherin even closer. “Have I ever told you that?”

Sharon hummed appreciatively. “I don’t know… remind me again?”

“You’re so cute,” Alaska repeated. “You better hurry up and kiss me before I lose my mind.”

“As you wish, pumpkin.”

Sharon happily obliged, meeting Alaska’s lips first with a smile before actually kissing her. As always, they didn’t have long before they were interrupted yet again.

“Uh, ladies? I have patients here, you might want to stop doing that for a hot minute.” Dela chimed in, bouncing towards them with her usually bubbly attitude.

Alaska grinned. “Does that mean I can go?”

Dela considered her for a moment, before nodding. “Yes, I don’t see why not. Unless you’re wanting some safe sex pamphlets from me, I don’t expect I’ll be seeing either of you in here for a while.”

“Dela!” Sharon exclaimed, her pale cheeks colouring. “Oh my – okay, we’re leaving. Let’s go.”

Alaska couldn’t see her own face, but Sharon’s had turned a beautiful shade of flaming ketchup, the colour accented by her contrasting black and white hair. She began to gather up some of the gifts Alaska had been given, incanting some of them reversibly smaller so that they could be carried easily. Within minutes, the pair had gathered up everything and made their way out of the infirmary, Alaska noting with a hint of amusement that Sharon’s face was still scarlet.

Stepping out of the infirmary was like stepping back into reality – a quick transition from the warmth and quiet to the chatter and chaos of the school environment. Most of the students were on their way to dormitories or common rooms, or just meeting friends somewhere on the grounds, with lessons having finished half an hour or so ago. Alaska was glad to have escaped the between-lesson rush, despite now being one of the older ones with strength and status enough to push through the crowd of first and second years. It was a little quieter than she’d expected, but still loud and full of energy as always.

Sharon led the way through most of the students – they tended to part when they saw her – clearing a neat little path leading inside the castle walls. The biting autumnal wind ceased as they came inside, as did a lot of the noise. The quiet made it easier to converse.

“So… when are you taking me out?” Alaska flirted, batting her eyelashes and dragging out the end of each word unnecessarily.

Sharon laughed, her cheeks still flushed. “I was thinking at dinnertime? Whilst everyone else is eating, we’ll be able to go out and get ahead of the traffic.”

“I like it.” Alaska replied. “This is exciting. I feel like a real couple now.”

“Only the best for my champion.” Sharon smiled proudly. “Okay, bleugh, that was disgustingly cheesy. But you get it.”

Alaska nudged her elbow gently, careful not to knock anything she was carrying, and blew a kiss. In truth, it still hadn’t sunk in yet. Alaska – slightly scared of heights, so-called dumb blonde, terrible at potions, clumsier than a newborn deer, more unsteady on a broom than a drunken fifth year – had managed to win in the first Triwizard task. It didn’t seem real. Part of her was still convinced she had dreamt it all, and she’d wake up in her dorm after imagining it all, but the thumping in her chest was very much real. The feeling of the wind through her hair, the crowd screaming below. That was very, very real. It was pure elation.

Alaska was lifted out of her thoughts by Professor Visage, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere and materialized in front of the pair. Thankfully, she didn’t look angry or serious, so Alaska was fairly sure that Sharon wasn’t in trouble, but then again she never knew with Sharon. If she wasn’t in trouble, there was still a chance she’d find a way to get herself into it. It was a polyamorous relationship – Alaska, Sharon, and Trouble with a capital T.

“Sharon! Just the witch I’ve been looking for.” Professor Visage greeted, rather cheerfully.

Sharon’s eyebrows rose. “I love hearing that. Makes my day, it really does.”

“Alright, Miss Sass, tone it down. Anyway, I was sent to come get you by Professor Ru, you’ve got a meeting with the two of us and Professor Lake.”

Next to Alaska, Sharon visibly deflated. “Well, shit. How long is it gonna take? I kinda have dinner plans tonight.”

Professor Visage thought for a moment. “Probably only half an hour, max. You’ll be out by four at the latest. That okay with you?”

Sharon nodded. “That’s perfect. Alaska, are you okay with carrying all this on your own?”

It took a few minutes to reshuffle everything so that Alaska could accommodate it, and with a few helpful charms from Professor Visage she ended up enchanting some of the gifts so they would follow her up to her dorm. Sharon pressed a fleeting kiss to Alaska’s cheek before following Professor Visage to the office she’d practically been living in, and Alaska continued on her way up to her dorm.

The common room was full of people when she made her way in, obscuring her face with all her gifts to avoid having to converse with anyone. Of course, she knew that many congratulations were in order and pretty soon everyone would want to say something to her, but if she could just dump everything in her room then she’d be more than willing to bask in the attention. Thankfully, the students seemed to notice this, and she made it up the stairs and into her room without any interruption.

She threw everything down on the bed, totally haphazard, and flung herself down next to it all. She’d have to sort through it all later – she could see flowers, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, and dozens of other tiny gifts. Despite lacking the energy to actually move and open anything, there were still a few cards she could reach and have a read through.

Alaska, I couldn’t be more proud of you. Now I get to brag that my girlfriend is beautiful, funny and champion of a world-renowned magic competition. I knew you could do it, pumpkin. I can’t wait to watch you snatch that trophy. I’ll be there cheering for you the way you’ve always cheered for me. Lots of love and kisses, Sharon.

Alaska hugged the card to her chest, fully aware of how stupid she must have looked. Sharon’s handwriting was impeccably neat, an almost traditional-looking script with short letters and high tails. Was it weird to even love somebody’s handwriting? Had Alaska really fallen that hard? It was disgusting.

To Alaska – you won some shit.                From Willam.

Short, sweet, succinct. If anything could sum up the Pureblood, it was that card, paired with her no-nonsense, printed lettering.

Willam’s card is stupid! Well done, girl!!! We were all rooting for you 100% and we’re so happy for you!!!! Keep it up babe!!!!!! Love from Courtney!

Another one perfectly encapsulating the essence of her friend. Courtney, little petite Courtney, practically was a human exclamation mark. It was no wonder every sentence ended with one – it only served to make Alaska read the words in her shrill Aussie voice.

You’ve made your school proud. I knew you would. Good job, Alaska. From Professor Visage.

There were so many – ones from Jinkx, from other students she didn’t know, even a few more teachers. Each one was touching, even if most of them were just insincere messages scribbled onto a piece of paper. The fact that people had gone through and made the effort to even give her a card meant a lot.

Forcing herself up from the bed, lest she got drowsy and dozed off again, Alaska sprang upwards after a couple of minutes and headed back out into the Ravenclaw common room, looking around for someone who could act as a distraction. Before she could find anyone, she felt a hand tap her elbow and a loud voice squawked at her from behind.

“Lasky! What’s up, girl?!”

It was Detox, the girl from Beauxbaton who she’d been paired with in Potions. Her makeup was almost obscenely colourful - a whirlwind of neon - but nevertheless it seemed to work with her larger-than-life personality and overall look. Alaska smiled brightly and turned to face her properly.

“Hey Detox! I’m good, I’m good, you?”

Detox nodded. “I’m great… Phi Phi is still in your infirmary so I haven’t had to deal with her rage yet. Can’t wait for that.”

Alaska winced. “Oh, Divine. She fought hard, though. It could’ve been anyone’s game.”

“True, true.” Detox mused. “Still, you’ve seen her temper. I’d avoid her, if I were you. I know she’ll try and seek out a fight.”

“Good call. I’m pretty sure Sharon would flip her shit if Phi Phi was anywhere near me anyway.”

She smiled at the memory, of how fiercely Sharon had defended her, both in her presence at the Three Broomsticks and in her Defence Against The Dark Arts class. It had only been a short while since those encounters; it was early November, and any last shred of summer had shrivelled up along with the leaves scattered around the grounds that crunched underfoot. Even so, it felt like they’d come a long way.

After all, that night in the bar was the night they made it official. Alaska cringed internally at their stupid declarations, but at the time it had been the perfect mixture of kitsch and camp and fun that the two shared. Nothing had made her happier than finally having a proper label on what had been uncertain for quite a few months.

For the last few months of their fifth year, just a little while after coming out, Alaska had become a little more daring. Flirty, if you will. When she noticed Sharon looking, she winked. Anytime Sharon made her laugh, she clung on that little bit tighter to her arm, and of course it had the desired effect. Things progressed, with Alaska excitedly updating Willam and Courtney at every turn, but it never quite got where she wanted to. They had kissed, sure – not like how they kissed after the Three Broomsticks, but still – and they were exclusive, but it wasn’t a relationship. They were both kind of suspended. Waiting for something.

“That’s probably a good thing!” Detox responded, zapping Alaska back into reality. “I don’t know what’s gotten into Phi Phi, at least you have someone to defend you. She was never that angry before she came here.”

Alaska frowned. Weird. “Maybe it’s just the stress of being in a whole new place and competing.”

“Probably.” Detox shrugged. “Anyway, she’d kill me if she knew I was saying this, but congrats on your win. You celebrating at all?”

“Going out for dinner with… Oh, there she is.” Alaska grinned, spotting Sharon’s head amongst the sea of Ravenclaws. Her green tie and distinctive hair made her stick out like a sore thumb.

She’d freshened up a little, that much was clear. Her hair had been brushed out and untangled, and her makeup reapplied – it always tended to come off during Care of Magical Creatures. Although she hadn’t changed out of her uniform, Alaska could tell she’d made an effort to smarten it up a little bit other than the rolled-up sleeves. In all fairness, it wasn’t like Alaska could expect full uniform compliance from Sharon this late in the game.

“Hey, you’re not allowed in here, Needles!” A voice yelled, indistinguishable from the mass of heads.

Sharon looked around a little, trying to spot who it was. “Do I look bothered?” She shot back, before shaking her head and moving towards Alaska. “There you are. Oh, who’s this?”

There was a dangerous edge to Sharon’s voice as she eyed Detox with suspicion. The Beauxbaton girl looked a little bit uncomfortable at the interrogation, and rightly so. Sharon’s words were innocent enough, but her tone was cold and her eyes were piercing.

For a fleeting second, she looked just like Lady Needles.

Alaska was quick to dispel the tension. “This is Detox. Don’t scare her away; she’s nice, I promise.”

Just like that, the fierce expression on Sharon’s face was gone. “If you say so. Detox, do you mind if I steal Alaska from you?”

Detox shrugged, still slightly put-out but doing her best not to show it. “You’re not really asking, are you? I don’t have a choice here, do I?”

Sharon laughed appreciatively. “No, you don’t. I’m afraid she’s mine and I have to take her, but if you have any complaints you can probably find me in detention.”

Detox cackled, and with that, Sharon took Alaska’s hand and began to lead her out of the Ravenclaw common room. The Slytherin was practically running, dragging Alaska behind her as she weaved through corridors and in and out of random hallways. It took a little while for Alaska to realize where they were headed, but soon enough she began to recognise her surroundings as the entrance to the Slytherin common room, leading up the dorms. Alaska hadn’t actually ever seen Sharon’s dorm room; she knew of the girls in it, but had never been aside. When they were younger, the group had always hung out in the Ravenclaw dorm, and in recent times Sharon had taken to staying in there rather than her own whenever she could get away with it. Maybe it was silly for her to feel that way, but Alaska was a little bit excited.

“I have someone I want you to meet properly.” Sharon told her, before stopping outside a tall black door. With some caution, she poked her head round, then flung the door wide open as she saw it was empty. “Come on in.”

The room was identical to Alaska’s, with the exception of the green bedding, which was a slight disappointment. Regardless, Alaska took it all in, noting that Sharon’s bed had the curtains drawn all the way around it, obscuring her small living area from the rest of the room. In one swift motion, Sharon parted the curtains and was instantly knocked to the floor by the same gigantic mound of fluff that had interrupted Alaska’s Ancient Runes lesson a short while ago.

“Sharon!” Alaska cried out, almost instinctively. The panic faded, however, when she heard Sharon half-laughing, half-groaning.

“Cerrone, must you always greet me like this?” She grumbled, stroking the black-and-white fur awkwardly with one hand. “Fat cat. Someone’s been feeding you too much. Alright, get off.”

She sat up and beamed cheerily in Alaska’s direction. “This is Cerrone, you saw him in the Pensieve. He’s fatter and older and stupider now.”

Alaska got onto her knees, joining Sharon on the floor to coo over Cerrone, who had flopped onto the rug and stretched himself out. He purred contently as Alaska started to stroke his side, smoothing some of the matted fur down.

“He’s such an attention whore.” Sharon said, distinctively proud. “Look at him. Purebred Kneazle, about eight years old. I’ve had him for five years now.”

Alaska smiled. “You rescued him, right?” She asked, watching as her girlfriend scratched her pet lovingly behind his ears.

“Yeah, I did.” Sharon sounded vaguely nostalgic. “You saw that he was pretty banged up when I found him. He was the only one I found that was alive. I had to save him somehow.”

It was admirable. Alaska couldn’t forget the image of Sharon she’d seen in the Pensieve – wide eyed, her clothes and skinny fingers stained with blood, clutching Cerrone to her chest like a lifeline. She’d been so young to be so courageous, standing up in front of so many people like that just for the life of one creature. It made sense now why Sharon had chosen Care of Magical Creatures as part of her options two years prior, even if it hadn’t at the time. Alaska remembered Willam cocking an eyebrow and saying, “you want to play in a fucking pig pen for an hour and get qualifications for it?!”

Of course, back when they were fourteen they didn’t have any ideas as to why she’d pick a subject like that, other than how much she enjoyed the outdoors. The knowledge suddenly dawning on her, Alaska smiled to herself as she continued stroking Cerrone.

“He’s saved me more times than I could ever save him.” Sharon broke the silence, gazing down tenderly at the overgrown cat. “Kneazles, they… they can detect dangerous people. People you can’t trust, people who might be evil. They get aggressive when they sense those kind of people, and protect their owner.”

She looked up at Alaska. “I can’t tell you the amount of times he’s lashed out at my mother. I owe him.”

Sharon went quiet for a minute, seemingly realizing the weight of her words, before lightening up a little bit. “That’s why I let him have so many treats. I guess it’s my fault he’s spoilt and lazy.”

Alaska grinned, leaning down to rest her head against Cerrone’s side. “I could just go to sleep here. I wouldn’t even complain if he clawed my face off.”

“Are you kidding?” Sharon laughed. “He loves you! He has good taste, this one. I approve.”

They spent a while on the floor with Cerrone, laughing and making obscene jokes of sore knees and old age. The whole situation, despite being completely new, felt familiar and strangely normal to Alaska. It felt like a domestic routine that she could easily fall into, and the thought made her heart flutter and break all at the same time.

Domesticity. It felt so natural with Sharon, yet the Slytherin girl had never experienced it before. She didn’t know what it was like to live amongst parents who loved one another, children who played together, a family that felt safe and secure. Alaska’s childhood had been so starkly different to Sharon’s. More than anything, she just wanted to bundle Sharon up in her arms and take her home.

She imagined introducing Sharon to her family. Willam and Courtney had met her family, and they’d all gotten along well, but she and Sharon had never really gotten to that stage. They were just friends, and then they were at an odd crossroads of flirting, and then they’d started dating and somehow Alaska had never found the time.

How would her family react to such an enigma of a person? Her mom would love Sharon, naturally. She was easily pleased with charm and good manners, and it wouldn’t take her long to get past her unconventional look. Then again, it was impossible to guess how anyone would react to Sharon. She was unpredictable like that.

It was around half past five when Alaska finally left, making her way back to her own dormitory as quickly as she could so she could change in time for her date. As she walked, her mind tried to mentally replicate her wardrobe and pick out what she could wear. As ever, her memory failed her and she couldn’t even conjure up a picture of a single thing she owned.

“Alaska!”

Both Willam and Courtney trilled her name in unison, springing up from Courtney’s bed where they were sat to smother her in a hug. Alaska laughed as her face was buried in a mass of blonde hair, clinging tight to her friends before managing to fight them off.

“I don’t have long, please don’t ruin my hair,” She teased, scrunching the mass on top of her head and starting towards her wardrobe. As expected, both blondes gave her the same expression; eyes wide, eyebrows raised, mouths open.

“Ooh, bitch!” Willam called out. “Got somewhere to be?”

Alaska grinned. “Sharon’s taking me out for dinner. Like, a real date.” She turned around, considering a few options in her wardrobe before pulling one out. “Does this say ‘classy girlfriend going on a dinner date’ to you?”

She wasn’t exactly sure why she was asking Courtney and Willam, of all people – Willam was the exact opposite of classy in her look and behaviour, and Courtney being part-Veela made anything and everything look classy, effortlessly. Between them they were absolutely useless.

“I like it. Doesn’t show off nearly enough body, but I guess that’s the point.” Willam mused, looking at the dress thoughtfully.

Courtney swatted at her. “Shut up! It’s really pretty, you should wear it.”

In all honesty, Alaska had forgotten that the little blue dress existed. She had maybe worn it once for some fancy party and then stowed it back on the wardrobe on the hanger, never to emerge again. It reached just above her knees, and was mostly plain aside from a few tasteful sparkling embellishments around the neckline. Sharon would like it – Sharon liked nearly everything she owned. After some scrutiny, she decided it was date-worthy and took it into the bathroom to change.

“ARE YOU HIDING HICKEYS FROM US IN THERE?!” Willam yelled indignantly as Alaska disappeared from the room. “IS THAT WHY YOU’RE IN THE BATHROOM?!”

Alaska laughed, banging her fist on the door to shock them both. “It’s called privacy, you voyeuristic slut!”

“Ooh, she’s got you there!” came Courtney’s response, before she emitted a yelp that indicated Willam had physically retaliated to the remark.

It took a minute for Alaska to get herself into the dress, contorting her body into unnatural positions to try and reach the zipper, but finally she managed. After that it was just a case of throwing on a touch of makeup and fixing her hair, and she was ready to go.

“Classy girlfriend going on a dinner date?” Alaska asked again, emerging nervously from the bathroom and presenting herself to her friends.

The reactions were somewhat mixed, but definitely positive. Courtney’s mouth dropped open, and Willam wolf-whistled appreciatively before nodding her approval. Alaska continued to post, rolling her hand to gesture for more in-depth feedback.

“I’ll bite. It’s hot.” Willam grinned wolfishly. “Trying to get laid or something?”

Alaska flashed her middle finger. “Bitch! You’re not even the first person to suggest that today.”

Instantly, the blonde’s eyes lit up, as if she were about to ask for more details she could inevitably taunt Alaska with. Thankfully, Courtney cut in before she could, exclaiming, “More like classy wife going on a dinner date! She’s gonna wanna marry you after this!”

-

On time for the first time in her life, Alaska met Sharon by the beginning of the walk into Hogsmeade at six thirty, the time they agreed on. Sharon must’ve come early, and was stood waiting for Alaska as she approached. Slowing down a little, Alaska allowed herself to appreciate the effort that it was clear Sharon had put in. Her hair was teased and fluffed up a little, swept over one shoulder, and her black dress was long, with a deep V-neck and full length sleeves. Her jacket was draped over one shoulder. As she got closer, she could see that Sharon was either wearing blush, or her cheeks were just pink, but regardless of which one it was, the little pop of colour made her look strangely cute. Alaska resisted the urge to pinch her cheeks.

“Well don’t you just look the Daily Prophet’s Witch of the Year,” She greeted her girlfriend, entwining their fingers and pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead.

Sharon leaned into her touch and smiled. “More like a page three witch with this neckline. I had no idea it was this low, I’m so sorry. You look absolutely breathtaking.”

“Please,” Alaska told her. “If you think I’m bothered about a low neckline, you don’t know me at all.”

Sharon swatted at her arm playfully before offering her hand, beginning the walk along the road to Hogsmeade.

“I almost never come this way,” Sharon commented. “I always use tunnels and passages. This way is so pretty.”

It wasn’t like she was wrong – the rapid approach of autumn had given the village an entirely new, warm aura. Fragrant leaves crunched under their feet, and bare vines curled along walls and archways, clinging like earth-borne snakes seeking warmth. Everything was awash in gold and orange and brown, the setting sun heightening the enthralling glow of the area. There was a slight chill in the air, as came with the threat of winter resting in the frosted laurels at the tips of the trees, but overall the atmosphere was soft and tinted with romance.

Noticing her slight shivering, Sharon stopped walking and took her jacket from her shoulder. “Put this on, you’re freezing. Come here.”

Smiling gratefully, Alaska slipped her arms into the warm leather, embracing the familiar scent of smoke and perfume that permeated the material. Like most of Sharon’s clothes, it fit Alaska perfectly. Touched by such a small gesture, Alaska squeezed her girlfriend’s hand and kept walking, soaking up as much as the evening as she could.

“It’s just through here,” Sharon pushed some brambles aside, moving out of the way so Alaska could go through first. “I know this bit is a dump, but the place is gorgeous, I promise.”

By now they had moved out of the area that was usually frequented by students – the shops, taverns, bars and the Shrieking Shack having long since been passed – and had moved more into the residential area, where many witches and wizards had chosen to isolate themselves from the muggle world and create their own community. It was only a few minutes further that they had to walk before a building began to unfold in front of them, the fancy scripting on the front reading The Artemisia.

“Sharon, this is… It’s beautiful.” Alaska murmured, staring around as she stepped inside. “How did you afford this place? How did you find this place?”

Sharon bit her lip, smiling. “Pumpkin, my surname is Needles… I can get us anywhere. And you’ll have to thank Raja for the recommendation, she told me about this place. Only the best for my champion. See, I did it again and I didn’t make any vomit noises. This is a real date.”

Alaska laughed. “You’re so stupid…” She leaned in for a kiss, softly pecking Sharon’s warm lips. “I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it.” Sharon responded, before smiling up at a waiter who had appeared before them.

“Sharon Needles?” He asked, cocking his head to the side. Sharon nodded. “Wonderful. We have your table all set up, if you can just follow me.”

Alaska shot Sharon an excited look, squeezing her hand a few times as they walked behind the waiter towards a privately laid-out table. Even the napkins looked as though they were more expensive than everything Alaska owned put together. Gold trimming? How was it possible for everything in this place to have gold trimming? It was luscious and a little bit ludicrous.

“And here we are,” The waiter spoke up again, pulling the chairs out for each witch to sit down and presenting two full glasses with his wand. “The Butterbeer is on the house. We hope you have a splendid evening.”

Sharon waited until the waiter had left the table before starting to giggle. Her efforts to hide it went amiss; the hands clapped over her mouth did nothing to subdue the shaking of her shoulders. Thoroughly amused just by the sight of her, Alaska reached across the table to grab one of Sharon’s hands as she started to laugh herself.

“I’m sorry,” Sharon managed, her shoulders still bouncing with suppressed giggles. “I just… splendid. We’re going to have a splendid evening.”

She managed to steel herself by avoiding Alaska’s gaze. “Splendid. What a great word. God, I haven’t drank Butterbeer in a while.”

Alaska watched as she took and sip and then pulled a face. “Shit. That’s sweeter than I remember. Is this shit made of sugar?”

The waiter returned moments later with two menus, Alaska running her nails along the thick leather cover before looking inside. Although trivial, Alaska thought it was actually kind of thrilling to be sat inside a restaurant like this, debating meals with Sharon and enjoying the atmosphere. For the second time that day, it hit her that Sharon probably didn’t do this very often, if at all. Alaska and her family went out for dinner a lot, especially around occasions such as Christmas and birthdays. Sharon, obviously, wouldn’t.

After having their orders taken, Alaska settled back into her seat, regarding her girlfriend with a grin. “So, is this where you take all your girls?”

Sharon laughed, the joke clearly taking her by surprise. “Oh, yeah. All my girls come here. This is where I bring all my hoes.”

“Are you calling me a hoe?!” Alaska exclaimed, mock offended.

Sharon shrugged. “Maybe. Why, you wanna act like one? Dress like one? Can’t say I’d mind.”

She stopped to fan herself with the menu. “We’re way too flirty this evening. Here was me thinking we’d have a nice celebratory date, and look what we’ve turned it into.”

“You started it.”

“You’re such a liar!”

“As if! You know you started it!”

“I didn’t start anything!”

“Yes you did!”

“Shut up or I’ll kiss you.”

“Shut up or I won’t kiss you.”

Alaska smirked, knowing she’d gotten the last laugh. Glancing up at Sharon, she saw the Slytherin had bitten back her lips in an attempt to visually draw attention to her silence, and was blinking innocently behind her lashes. The facade was anything but believable – maybe due to the fact that Alaska knew Sharon too well, and could identify the mischievous twinkle beneath her eyes – and she laughed at the idea that she’d fall for it.

“Okay, I’m already bored. You can talk now. Open your big mouth again.”

To her surprise, Sharon simply shook her head, remaining silent as she tapped her cheek with one finger. Alaska recognised her gesture and rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t realise it before, but you are a toddler.” She stated, leaning across the table to press a kiss to the spot she’d been tapping. Satisfied, Sharon’s face split into a grin and her cheeks went pink.

“And now I can talk. Honestly, I wish real curses were like that. Our curses are like,” She picked up her knife, waving it around as though it were a wand, “Extreme pain! Manipulation! Death!”

Alaska chuckled as she continued. “And then, in the old fucking Disney stories, it’s like,” This time she dropped the knife, simply pointing with her finger, “Sleep for a long time and get woken up by a kiss. True love will solve this one! A candle is your friend!”

Sharon pulled a face. “Anyway. I’m getting off track, aren’t I? I didn’t bring us here to sit and talk about fucking Disney curses. Some punk I am.”

“Who’d have thought it?” Alaska joked. “Sharon Needles, notoriously badly-behaved Slytherin – total Disney slut.”

“Oh, you bitch.” Sharon grinned. “I’ve never even seen a Disney movie.”

Alaska let her mouth drop open, widening her eyes to exaggerate her reaction. “You haven’t – but I – and you – Sharon! You’ve never seen a Disney movie?!”

“Alaska, when the fuck do you think I had time to sit down on a couch and watch fucking Disney movies?” Sharon asked, her voice light. “I spent my childhood rescuing a magical cat and hiding from evil parents. Which I suppose is ironically Disney-esque.”

Alaska shook her head in disbelief. “Okay, remind me that we’re watching Disney movies at some point. We’re gonna work our way through them. Your delayed childhood begins now.”

Sharon winced. “Oh, boy. I’m thinking of breaking my no-alcohol rule already. Goddammit, Alaska.”

“What happened to ‘my champion’, huh?”

Blue eyes met mocking green ones. “Don’t. Even. Start.”

#purecamp #shalaska #alaska thunderfuck #sharon needles #detox icunt #willam belli #courtney act #rpdr fanfiction #submission #just the two of us #harry potter au #hogwarts au #lesbian au

[stinkypinkdinosaur]

That's great! My prompt would be a Marvel M/F/F story about Tony Stark accidentally cloning Natasha, and the three being polyamorous — but I'd really hope for a F/F romance between the two Natashas, sort of a mix of self-love and narcissism. Could be a one-shot or a longer thing :)

Gonna try to keep this as a one-shot, but OH what a cool idea!!! I’m going to have the clone Natasha be given a different name just so we don’t get confused. Also, Nat and Tony will be in a some-what pre-established relationship.

Also whoops this is really long.

Also NSFW SMUT AND SPICE AHEAD!

Tony Stark x Natasha Romanoff x Clone!Natasha Romanoff, Poly relationship;

Tony stood by the skeleton of a bio-synthesiser - a prototype to the machine used to create a vessel for the mind stone. The vessel used to bring Vision to life had worked wonders, but this one required a human’s DNA to work. It had been discarded when Bruce had brought up the issue of human’s inability to wield the stones.

But it could clone people.

Tony didn’t see that as a problem, but of course, Steve had stepped in to warn him of the ethical issues when using this type of thing. A new human being wasn’t so much the issue, it was the idea that two of that individual would exist at the same time.

Tony shook his head. Surely it wouldn’t be that bad? Maybe he could clone himself - not that the world could handle two of the greatest minds in the world, two Tony Starks. Tony wasn’t sure he could handle two brains riddled with PTSD and anxiety.

He was working on it, Romanoff had been invaluable. It scared him a little, but she knew the ins and out of a human brain well - well enough to console him in more ways than one when his thoughts kept him awake at night.

Tony sighed, turning to a medical bench on the other side of his lab, buried in the basements of the Avengers compound. He tore open a sterilisation wipe, cleaning a small circle on the inside of his elbow. He picked up a sample gun, made to take blood samples without needing a fiddly syringe.  

He winced as he pulled a few vials from the vein in his arm, placing the samples on the bench. He looked back over his shoulder at the bio-synthesiser. He could do a little gene editing, give Clone Tony a little variety and then teach him everything he knew - an apprentice, a brother... family...

“Hey there.” 

Natasha stood leaning in the doorway, watching Tony jump in surprise from across the room.

“God I love dating an assassin.” Tony quipped, crossing his arms and leaning back onto the bench. “Or a spy? What is it you are again?”

Natasha stepped into the room, smiling at the floor. She approached him, leaning against his chest. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you, Iron Man.”

“Ooooh, I like it when you call me that, call me that again?” Tony raised a teasing eyebrow, grinning slyly.

Natasha rolled her eyes, but the lent into Tony’s ear, whispering lightly. “Iron Man.” It caught the poor man off guard, and he stumbled, catching himself on the edge of the bench.

“Shit!” Natasha’s hand had landed against the small cluster of vials on the table, one smashing open and glass slashing her palm.

“Oh god, I’m so so sorry. Come here, let me...”

Tony darted across the room, grabbing a first aid kit.

“Hey, hey calm down, it’s just a little cut.” Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder as he shakily cleaned the wound.

The vials lay, forgotten on the desk. Tony would have the bench sterilized later, all traces of either party’s blood on the surface removed. But when he finally got around to using the vials, plucking them from cold storage, placing them into the small cylindrical slot on the completed bio-synthesiser, he had no idea the machine would take up the wrong cells.

A one in a million - no trillion, chance. That her cells could have made it into the vials, AND be taken from the sample by the machine. But of course, Tony thought, nothing he ever does works out how he wanted.

So when the machine opened with a hiss of warm air, and a perfect copy of Natasha sat up from within it, calm as anything, stepping towards an open-mouthed Tony across the room. Hips swinging and red hair trailing over her nude body, curves melting into each other - It took all of Tony’s concentration to speak intelligible words. 

“F-Friday, call Nat down here now, please. It’s an emergency.”

“Oh.”

Natasha wore a large, baggy jumper over tight-fit leggins, that normally had Tony’s full attention. But right now, he was watching original Natasha watch the new Natasha, dress in her borrowed clothing.

“Accident, huh?” She turned and raised an eyebrow.

“Completely. Honestly. I-I-I just...” His words faltered when the two women stood face to face. The new Natasha had retained all of her memories - a complete and perfect copy - Including her fascination for herself. They studied each other closely.

Tony swallowed hard, his mind running away with himself. Nat had always been proud of her body, her moves, her looks. Tony’s best decision in life was to humour her by installing large mirrors in his room. Needless to say, mirror sex with a woman who could not take her eyes off herself was his new addiction.

But there hadn’t been a way to take it further... until now.

Natasha pulled her clone closer by the hips, pressing her body against hers, a fire in her eyes, Tony shifted in his seat, enjoying the view. The clone lent forward, lips grazing over Nat’s.

Tony stood up quickly. “Oh, oh okay um.” The clone clung to Natasha, not moving an inch apart from to turn her head. Tony clapped his hands together.

“As... As hot as this is, while you guys may be living the dream, this is a little weird for me, can we just... slow down a little.” He held his hand up, seeing the concerned look on their faces.

They separated, and clone Nat stepped forward. “Guess this does need a little more thinking through huh?”

A few months pass and accidental-clone Nat had become a huge asset to the Avengers. The others were confused at first, but once the clone finally decided on a name - Natalie - Things began to run more smoothly. 

Natasha tried to convince the others that it was no different than discovering a long lost twin, defending the copy of herself to no end. While at the same time, Natasha dyed her hair blonde, cut it short, bought different outfits and makeup for Natalie in an effort to help her friends distinguish them.

The two of them became friends quickly - obviously, they would, they were almost the same person. Though Natalie did pick up a few subtle differences as she grew. Natalie would often find Natasha and Tony working late, dragging them into a warm pile of cuddles and soft kisses. She had also taken it upon herself to make meals on the regular for the Avengers, saying that she had always wanted to take care of her family through more than just fighting, now she could.

As for Tony, he was pulling his hair out. While having two Natashas was a late night fantasy come true, it came with more problems than he thought. One assassin/spy/whatever was enough to handle. With two of them, he was falling for identity pranks, feeling double the hands working him up to frustration while working and double to worry when they went out on missions.

Their relationship had most definitely slowed down, adjusting to the presence of a new member - Tony loved them both with every fibre of his being, but two at once took time to gauge. They started small, with kisses and movie dates and late nights up on the couch binging some TV show and laughing about this and that. Building up oh-so-slowly to what Tony, honestly, was nervous for.

He knelt in the centre of the bed, shirtless, cock straining in his jeans, Natalie straddling his hips without a shred of clothing on her body. She ground her hips down into him and he grunted, watching her breasts bounce lightly. Meanwhile, Natasha sat behind him, leaving wet kisses, bites and hickies along his neck.

He swallowed hard, his breath catching.

“Hey, hey um... ladies,” He stuttered. The pair stilled, waiting for him to speak. “How, uh... How do we...?”

Natasha giggled into his ear. “Just let us... use you.”

“Oh... Oh god...” Tony stuttered.

Natasha moved away, standing beside the bed, Tony let his eyes drag over her body - muscular, powerful and curves along every inch of her. Natalie pushed on his chest with a smile, laying him back against the bed. She shuffled out the way, pulling on his belt and pulling his pants down, tossing them away.

Tony let out a hiss of air as his cock sprung free, and let out a shaky moan when Natalie’s tongue drew a line from the base to the tip. Natasha pulled her away with a light laugh, pinning her to the sheets and kissing her deeply.

Tony say up, groaning at the sight, hand travelling to squeeze himself, setting a slow pace. Natalie let out a breathy sigh, as Natasha dragged a finger across her folds, pausing over her clit.

“God you two will be the death of me.” Tony was losing his breath, panting fast.

“Not so bad yourself old man,” Natalie stuttered as Natasha pushed two fingers into her core. Natasha put her mouth against Natalie’s neck, pulling more gasps from her.

“Shit, get over here already,” Tony growled, chest heaving.

Natasha pulled away from Natalie, guiding her to Tony’s lap. Natalie looked up at her.

“Are you sure?”

Natasha nodded, and Tony did the same when Natalie looked to him. Natalie swallowed lightly and sunk onto Tony, who let out a long moan, sending sparks along Natalie’s body. Natasha pulled and pushed Natalie’s hips, guiding her movements.

“Nat- ah- hah, c’mere...” Tony was close to unintelligible words. Natasha smirked, climbing around to straddle Tony’s face. “God...”

Natasha sighed happily, his tongue delving into her wet folds, dragging lines up and down and flickering in and out of her entrance. She leant forward to pull Natalie into a kiss.

Tony lost himself in the feelings - the tightness around his cock, the intoxicating flavour on his tongue, the smell of sweat and sounds of his partners ringing through the room. His hips twitched as he neared his climax.

Natalie arched her back and ground into Tony with a shriek of pleasure, gushing over him, clenching and tightening around him. Nat could all but watch herself come undone in front of her, adrenaline rushing through her body. She came, grinding into Tony’s face.

Tony lapped up every drop of it, silently thrusting up into Natalie, stilling as his release fell upon him. Natalie gasped, feeling the hot fluid filling her.

Natasha, panting and limbs heavy, pulled Natalie towards her, settling next to Tony, Natalie falling on his other side. Tony was seeing stars, pleasure had him drifting somewhere peaceful and loving. Natalie and Natasha exchanged a look over his heaving chest.

She leant over his chest to pull Natalie into a light kiss.

“Me... me too...” Tony breathed.

The two smiled sweetly and planted a kiss on either of Tony’s cheeks.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching Extremis for the first time

(Spoilers below)

-Who’s narrating?

-If you serve as executioners to everything... then you execute flies and mosquitoes and stuff like that?

-”The destruction of a Time Lord--”  STOP RIGHT THERE, AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THE DOCTOR’S GONNA BE EXECUTED.

-Holy shit the Daleks are actually an impressive race, they killed a ton of those Time Lords that are supposedly so hard to kill

MISSY??

-WTF

-”I didn’t expect you.”  Well then who’d you expect, some other Time Lord who miraculously survived the Time War?

-Ah, gotta love them Daleks with their gossipy mouths, spreading rumors everywhere.

Why is his suit so worn. I’m concerned.

-”They can’t know I’m blind, Missy. no one can know.”

-HA

-FUCKING FINALLY

-SO IT WAS MISSY ALL ALONG

-CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THOSE HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, MAYBE EVEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEORISTS OUT THERE WHO GOT IT RIGHT

-”Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me live.”  I...

-*phone notification jingle*  wut

I DON’T LIKE THIS, I DON’T LIKE THE TITLE OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE COLOR OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE GALLIFREYAN LOADING BAR, OR THE GLITCHY GLITCH EFFECTS

Do all these people have fevers or is the weather just really hot??

-So I’m guessing he uses the shades to aid his vision now?

-Well, as long as he’s not completely in the black I’m fine

-”ve arrrre to com heerre dirrectly frrom the vaticaan”

-The pope???

-what is going on????!?!?!?

-”Pope Benedict. Lovely girl. What a night. I knew she was trouble, but she wove a spell with her castanets.“  wut

-”The Pope doesn't zoom round the world in the Popemobile, surprising people.“

-I am so confused and worried right now

I was kinda losing focus while reading the transcript of this episode and then BOOM, SUICIDE PICTURE FLASHES, WTF

-”Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you.”

-”I thought you'd moved out from here?  “Yeah, slightly didn't work out. Second attempt on the way.”

-”I don't like knowing their names. I only get attached.”

-”Of course not. I have very strict rules about men.“  “Probably not as strict as mine.”

-”Oh, I'm sorry. Here's me thinking that she dragged some poor, terrified man home.“  Poor lady doesn’t know what’s going on, but talk about getting out of a tight spot.

-My favorite scene in the episode so far omg

-Ah yes, Bill’s house pipes that always go VWOOOORP VWOOOOORP.

-”Well, whatever this is, and actually it's not anything yet, it is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.”

Gotta love how them popes come with a pre-installed church organ sound effect

-I only understood one word that sounded like “Doctor”.

“You’re all going to hell.”

-I love Bill omfg

-”Pope Benedict said that you were more in need of confession than any man breathing. But when the offer was made, you replied it would take too much time. On behalf of the Catholic Church, the offer stands. You seem like a man with regret on his mind.“

-Well, that went down in a bad way...

The very fancy scifi watch hidden under the very fancy fantasy-ish robes

The Doctor suspects Darth Sidious is up to something.

-Nope, nevermind, that was Nardole.

oh

OHHH

-”Warning: I have full permission to kick your arse.”

-”Because I don't like being worried about. Around me, people should be worried about themselves.“ "Yeah, shall I tell you the real reason?“ "No.“ "Because the moment you tell Bill, it becomes real. And then you might actually have to deal with it.”

-This episode is about as religious as Doctor Who gets, in my opinion.

...dafuq

-We all know who this looks like

-The library of Blasphemy, huh? That’s quite some Hogwarts stuff there.

-”Harry Potter!” THANK YOU BILL!

-"The layout is designed to confuse the uninitiated.” "Sort of like religion, really.” I can confirm this true, for reasons. "You happy in those shades? Not dark enough for you?” “In darkness, we are revealed. Bill: When did he get so emo?

-”Well, take a few more minutes if you like. Knock yourself out. Actually do. Do that. Knock yourself right out.” Pffft

That’s one great big hood you got there. But pray tell, how do you see what’s in front of you?

-well shit

-”Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.“ What?

-”You'd be wizard at writing Christmas crackers, you two.”

-I thought Christmas crackers were paper sausages with confetti inside them?

Alright, where’s the orange portal?

oHh my GOD

-FUCKING JUMPSCARES!

-”I think there's someone in there.” "Yeah, we are very slightly getting that.”

wHat TEH FUCk

-”Hey, there’s wifi down here!”  “Of course there's wifi. It's a library.“

-”Reading chair with a safety belt?”

-Apologies if I seem to be taking too many quotes directly from the episode(s), but I just love the Series 10 dialogue okay

-THAT GUY SHOT HIMSELF

-”Because you're sending us into the dark, after a man with a gun.“  Not as dangerous if said man is dead...

-WEll Nardole got a little weird there

-Bill: *voice cracks* “nARdOLE”

-Nardole: *sees hand* *voice goes up by two octaves* “HIEWIEW”

That’s a pretty gun, but it wouldn’t do much damage in battle.

-”It would be stupid to go and look.” *goes to look*

-DON’T BURN THE DOCTOR’S BRAIN DON’T YOU DARE MOFFAT

-NOW THAT MOFFAT IS ACTUALLY WRITING THE EPISODES, I AM GOING TO BE DOUBLE WARY OF EVERYTHING

WHAT?!?!!

-WHAT THE EVERLOVING RASSILON FLIPPING A TABLE ON A HARLEY DAVIDSON?!?!?!

THE PENTAGON??

the flipping kind of videogame portal hub is this

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, aliens freak out as a bald head pops outta nowhere from the wall of their living room.

-”Cardinal, it worked. I can see.”  Yes!

-”Not well enough, not yet.”  Okay...

-”The thing about the universe is, whatever you need, you can always borrow, as long as you pay it back. I just borrowed from my future. I get a few minutes of proper eyesight, but I lose something. Maybe all my future regenerations will be blind. Maybe I won't regenerate ever again. Maybe I'll drop dead in twenty minutes."  NO!

-”You know, I've read a lot of books that this chair would be quite useful for. Moby Dick. Honestly, shut up, and get to the whale.“  omfg

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD OF GROOT AND A SILENT

-”This is not a game.”  “This is a game.”

-Why is that CERN scientist so excited, and more importantly, why does he seem drunk and why is everyone in the cafeteria so gloomy?

WELL THAT ANSWERS THE LAST QUESTION

Reading a legendary script on Microsoft Word.

-(On an unrelated note, I was saving these screenshots and naming them as each alphabet. The one right above happens to be Z.)

-(Could be some other text program but that’s what I think)

-So the screen was getting blurry not because the BBC didn’t want us to commit suicide but because the Doctor was going blind again

-GEEZ THOSE MONKS ARE CR-REEPY ASSES

-THEY’D DO WELL IN A HORROR GAME

Don’t you dare tell me the whole first half of Series 6 was set in a fake world or virtual reality or something like that

-Were those white things all portals to a virtual world

-At least Bill and Nardole got out safely.

-”Are you okay?”  “nOOO - Yes. NooO”

“Could be the Doctor.”

-Let’s hope not

-Let’s really, really hope not.

-”They’re projecting everything.”  CALLED IT

-AND THE PEOPLE IN THE HOLOGRAMS REALIZED THEY LIVE IN HOLOGRAMS?!?!

-But what if??

-What if our lives are really just holograms

-(I went on Omegle to get a stranger to think of a random number, but ended up answering questions about English)

-(This one person was asking “what does ‘single out’ mean”)

-”You know, like the holodeck on Star Trek, or a really posh VR without a headset. Through there, those places, that's basically Grand Theft Auto.”

-More and more references each episode, huh, BBC?

I uh... happened to pause here so...

-”Please don’t let me be right.”

-Oh shizzles

WHAT IN THE NAME OF A RANDOM DALEK

-NARDOLE IS NOT REAL??

-WHAT IF BILL ISN’T REAL??

-WHAT THE EFF??????!??!?!

Why did the blood change color?

-’Total communication blackout at the White House’? hat happened?

-Did all the people in the White House commit suicide and how did the Doctor come here?

-Ah, the portal yes...

-cold fraggling shizzles.....

-”The Veritas tells of an evil demon who wants to conquer the world. But to do it, he needs to learn about it first. So he creates a shadow world, a world for him to practise conquering, full of shadow people who think they're real.”

-OUR WORLD IS A SIMULATION GAME FOR HIGHER BEINGS, CONFIRMED

The screen ‘popped’ a bit here - it shook a little as if it zoomed slighly in then back out very quickly, accompanied by a tapping sound as if someone had knocked (into) it. Not sure if others saw this too or if it’s something with the site that I’m watching this on.

-Okay, I’m watching the Doctor explain this shit to Bill, and I’m having about as much of a crisis as Bill here

-And then the Super Mario mention though

-Please don’t tell me the past six episodes were holograms

-”A puppet Doctor for you to practice killing.”

-The Doctor Puppet account was worried about that line, yes

-Was that the email he got at the beginning of the episode??

wHOA chill please

At least the last six episodes weren’t all fake.

-Then when did the hologram-reality start?

-”It means I'm a scary, handsome genius from space and I'm telling you no, she's not out of your league.”

-”I have the feeling that we're going to be very busy. Call her tonight.“  Aww

-I hope Bill actually gets a girlfriend sometime this season

o i   g e t   o f f

-wHAT

*insert relatable quote about Monday mornings*

Some fast fingerwork there... NO I DID NOT INTEND TO SOUND LIKE THAT

-The guy is becoming uneasier by the second

-I don’t like the whirring sound??

-How are they gonna move her to the box in the middle of the water

It ends here?!

-Oh yeah right... They’re supposed to be a three-parter. Followed by another three-parter to finish off the season.

-Welp, looking forward to the next episode and possibly a lot more things to freak out over!

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