#where do i belong

[blazingpixie]

Some people are a type of aesthetic - vintage, black & white, dark academia or anything; so poised and sure in the way they are and express themselves. While I scatter like chaos in virtual and real world, like a banjaran traipsing one place to another. Never completely immersing in an aesthetic.

#words #finding myself #gypsy soul #musings #wanderer #where do i belong #aesthetic #dark academia

[infpisme]

#vazaki nada #infp quotes #life struggles #infp personality #complicated #from another world #where do i belong #lost in my own world #quotes

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Lolory: Daisy’s Diary

Designer’s Reflection: Daisy’s Diary

Obtained: Sea of Fantasy, Gleam

Rarity: SR

Attribute: Pink/Sweet

Awakened Suit: Lavender Whispers

Story - transcripts from Designer’s Reflection

Chapter 1 - Definition of Elegance

Chapter 2 - Theater Encounter

Chapter 3 - Blooming Starheaven

Story - summarized

Back in high school, Lolory had no idea what to do with her life. She didn’t get good grades, and she had no goals, no direction. She was simply “goth girl”... Shouldn’t there be more than that?

When the Starheaven Swan Pageant started getting ready, Lolory and a few of her school friends ditch class to go to the set-up and make fun of everyone. The other three soon lost interest, but Lolory noticed that all of the contestants onstage were talking about “being the prettiest girl.”

She scoffed at them. She knew she was prettier than the other girls, but why should appearances matter? She got ready to leave - she bumped into someone.

It was Yiena, the winner of last year’s Starheaven Swan Pageant. She was part of the crew this year. And she was the only one who cared enough to help Lolory stand up and make sure she was alright.

Lolory was stunned not just by Yiena’s simple appearance, but by her kindness and aura. Right then, she knew what she wanted to do in life. A month later, she had her costume for the pageant ready, and she had practiced etiquette and poise. She knew that elegance was more than just clothes.

Finally, it was time for the pageant. Lolory easily won, and her friends cheered her on. Even classmates had skipped studying for exams just to watch her! From then on, she strove to be as elegant as possible.

Connections

-Lolory tries to hide her past gothic self, but she embraces it in her Reflection for Midnight Elegance.

-This isn’t the only time the story mentions school outcasts in Ninir. In Vol. 2, you encounter the Dorm of the Strange, home to all who aren’t traditionally beautiful and/or have a peculiar style.

-Here, Lolory dyes her hair brown for the pageant. This helps explain why sometimes she has brown hair and why other times, like at the Guild or during Ninir’s coronation event, her hair is black.

Fun Facts

-Since Yiena’s presence affected Lolory so greatly, and since Lolory mentioned things weren’t so great at home, it’s possible that she didn’t have a good home life and lacked good role models.

-Even as an elegant girl, Lolory was still rebelling. According to the Index, she refused to “follow someone’s orders” on how you’re supposed to dress. Just like how Yiena wore simple clothes but was still beautiful and elegant.

-Despite being the Ambassador of Elegance, Lolory has a few suits that don’t have the gold/Elegant attribute. This is one of them.

#lolory #shining nikki #daisy's diary #pink attribute #sweet #elegance #ninir #ninir kingdom #high school #where do i belong #starheaven swan #beauty pageant #rebel #outcast #find your own way #change #sr designer #inner beauty

[lizslillife]

'Cause if you wanna go again

You can always call me

'Cause all we ever do is love

Open up your mind, you can find the love

Girl, you ain't alone

We all been alone

01/21/24

very new to this craving that tumblr girl aesthetic

#photography #grunge #naturecore #2014 nostalgia #2016 tumblr #ldr #the weeknd #kawaii #witchblr #where do i belong #nightlife

[intercoursefluids]

ANNOUNCMENT

I started writing fanfics while I was in high school as a way to take a break from the massive amounts of stress it caused me. In a way, the constant chaos and stress helped me update MORE than I likely would have otherwise as it was a way for me to escape from the stress and put my pent up energy to use. As such, since I graduated I have been struggling to get back to writing since there has been nothing to trigger a writing spree. The problem with this is that I still want to write but I have been pushing it off over and over again because I didn't feel the NEED to write like I used to. In order to combat this I have decided to try and make an update scheduled for myself.

From now on I should have a new chapter up every Saturday (unless something happens in my life that prevents me from doing so). I have made a full fledged schedule and I hope to get back on track soon.

Thanks for sticking around!

#maribat #ml x dc #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #bmfbmlbme #maridami #marinette x damian #Well That Happened #Where do I Belong #fanfic update

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I need a higher power to lovingly lower me into the place I was destined to be, like a zookeeper teaching a baby seal to swim

#baby seal #what's my purpose #where do i belong #why am i here #who am i #meaning of life #destiny

[metalheadtilimdead]

I see you demons

#my demons #mental health #where do i belong #change #feelings #thank you tumblr

[personaglitch]

The series is over.

And I'm not really sure where to go from here. I'll always have the anime to look forward to, of course, but....

I feel so hollow. I won't get new manga or updates or further character development and stories. I've spent so long zeroed in on this whole host of characters and now they just....stop existing anymore. Their story is done and I am alone.

#tokyo revengers #feeling some sort of way #emotional #now what #where do i go #where do i belong #anime #manga #i saw it to the end

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Thanks to those who read my fic and the one person that gave a like and then took it back...

I had other stuff ready, but I won't try to share those fics I wrote ever again. Especially when I'm down and the story deals with raw emotions (that I'm actually feeling).

That was just a bad idea...

#where do i belong #fanfiction #netflix!witcher #jaskier #my fic #muse saga

[futurebyparamore]

I can't be on discord its like for losers who are cooler than me

#talk too much #where do i belong #discord

[heintzmagic]

Where Do I Belong

#youtube #music #Infected Mushroom #Where Do I Belong

[emilyckohl]

Something a Little Different Today…

But I don’t know where else to really vent about this, so here we are.

At this point, it’s been several years since I actually enjoyed using social media. As if I needed more evidence that I’m an 85-year-old woman on the inside, I recently asked Google “is there a social media platform that feels like 2012 tumblr?” Google’s best guess: Pinterest 🙃

I haven’t logged into my Facebook in years (honestly, if I took the time to un-friend everyone until I got down to 10-20 people, I might actually use it again). I deleted the chaotic train wreck formally known as Twitter after I realized I was only using it to keep up with news headlines & hadn’t interacted with anyone or posted over there in ages.

My brain doesn’t like short-form video content. I like to feel in complete control of the time I spend on my phone, and I feel like short-form videos (& infinite scrolls) take that control away from me. I open TikTok once or twice a month to upload my own videos, and that’s typically it for me. There are days where I scroll past every single Reel on Instagram; Doesn’t matter who made the Reel or what it’s about, I’m honestly okay without it. If I could disable Reels on Instagram altogether, I would do it in a heartbeat. People send me Reels and TikToks everyday & I don’t watch them. I control my time online, not them.

Why am I trying so hard to build an audience on these apps when I don’t even like to spend time on them myself?

It’s a little insane to me how much we use our phones these days (I say while currently typing this on my phone). I lived for years without one, and now I just have this little device that stays within arms’ reach every second of every day. That doesn’t feel right to me, but I don’t really understand why.

I would like to find ways to make social media feel enjoyable again, but sometimes I also want to just delete all of it & never look back.

#just venting #social media #doing it on tumblr because i know no one will be around to see it #wish tumblr could be what it was 10 years ago #i miss when social media was actually fun #i’ve really started to loathe my phone and social media in general #old school tumblr #blog #tiktok #instagram reels #i’m getting old #where do i belong #make social media fun again #social media alternatives

[shiningdesignersreflections]

Chapter 3: Blooming Starheaven

Narrated by Lolory.

Narrator: Since then, every idle afternoon has become particularly long. I can’t even listen to a single joke from the group.

Narrator: Another cloud floats by and another question occurs to me.

Lolory: Have you ever thought about what you’re gonna do in the future?

Hairpin Girl: Oh, Lolory. Why are you asking those strange questions recently? Did you hear me just now?

Lolory: The 12th boyfriend? Forget it, I didn’t really.

Narrator: She rolls her eyes, fiddling with her hairpins over and over again.

Blue-Haired Girl: Me? I have no idea. I guess it’s boring to be an adult.

Long-Haired Guy: I have it figured out. Nothing will be different in the future: smoking, playing cards, and hooking up with girls.

Narrator: I watch the long-haired boy smoke, and I can indeed imagine his middle-aged life.

Narrator: He looks at me and suddenly smiles.

Long-Haired Guy: You’ll be a gothic punk for life. Isn’t that cool?

Hairpin Girl: What about you?

Narrator: I pause, take a deep breath, and work up the courage.

Lolory: I want to be an elegant lady.

Long-Haired Guy: Huh? Did I hear you right? Our school “rebel” is going to change?

Blue-Haired Girl: You’ve been acting weird since that time. Do you seriously want to take part in the Starheaven Swan Pageant?

Choose either “A sudden change?” or “Is it because of Yiena?”

If “change,” ...

You: You want to completely change?

Narrator: Yeah, I’ve made up my mind.

If “Yiena,” ...

You: Is it because of Yiena?

Narrator: It’s not just her. I... I feel very certain now that I know what I want.

--

Narrator: I want to be an elegant lady, wearing a proper dress and being like a flawless portrait.

Narrator: Looking around, there is nothing here except wasting time. But now, for the first time, I know where to go.

Narrator: I can see myself standing in the spotlight and shining like a star amidst the bleak future of everyone.

Lolory: Excuse me, but I gotta go.

Narrator: I almost trot home, right into my room and and begin my painting.

Narrator: After a week, I finally complete the costume for the Starheaven Swan Pageant.

Narrator: Refreshing and simple. It has lovely daisies. I dye my hair light brown and wear clean, natural makeup.

Narrator: Pleasant and elegant, unique for a 17-year-old girl.

Narrator: However, this is not enough. There’s something in Yiena that captures hearts other than appearance and accessories.

Lolory: Smile at no more than 35 degrees. Abdomen in... Relax your shoulders and neck...

Narrator: I adjust my posture, practice perfect smiles, give the best wave, and display lots of elegance.

Narrator: My feet are a bit numb, but I don’t feel tired at all.

Choose either “You are very elegant now” or “Are you still you?”

If “elegant,” ...

You: You really are very elegant and cute!

Narrator: Thank you for your compliment. I’m one step closer to my goal.

If “still you,” ...

You: Is this still the rebellious goth girl?!

Narrator: I’m still me. I just have found my goal.

--

Narrator: Now, I’m standing on the stage of the Starheaven Swan Pageant. I feel somewhat dizzy when the light hits me in the face.

Narrator: My brain tells me my whole body to be the best it can be. I have never felt so excited and happy like this before.

Narrator: I’ve done my best, and the judges will make their decisions. I wave to the audience and hear loud cheers.

Audience: Lolory!

Narrator: I look to where the voice came from. It’s my teacher. He actually brought the class to cheer for me, including my group.

Hairpin Girl: Lolory!! You’re the best!

Narrator: In their eyes, I see astonishment and admiration.

Narrator: I did it. I’ve taken the first step into my glorious future. I curl up my lips to give a perfect 35-degree smile.

Narrator: Amid the cheers, Yiena comes onto the stage, handing the Starheaven Swan trophy to me.

Yiena: Congratulations, Lolory!

Narrator: My face blushes and I bow sincerely to Yiena in the spotlight.

Lolory: Thank you.

Narrator: Since then, I have recalled that scene countless times. Receiving the trophy with a swan’s starry wings is a glorious moment.

Narrator: My purest light bloomed so brilliantly that the memory always remains fresh and vivid.

Narrator: Once again, I know I belong on the stage.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

#lolory #shining nikki #transcript #chapter 3 #sr designer #ninir #ninir kingdom #blooming starheaven #starheaven swan #beauty pageant #change #changing yourself #where do i belong

[living-carto0n]

There should be a law against letting senile deranged CUNTMUFFINS from drinking alcohol and smoking weed...

I'm serious about the alcohol part though. If you're such a miserable person that you're evil sober, your drinking rights should be revoked permanently and your id and mugshot be put on an international no sale registry.

I've about had enough of this stupid old man. Mom and I are leaving tomorrow and it breaks my fucking heart because I JUST got a job I feel welcome at... We JUST got approved for health insurance... We JUST got my mom's evil cousin (the one that dcf helped to keep me hostage from my mom and then CONTINUED to use the state to rob us for all we have and more after throwing me out in the streets) off our backs...

But most of all... Mom and I fell in love with his dogs...

Just LOOK AT THEM! How can one not be engulfed in the warm fuzzy feeling that you get just from seeing those faces?

I personally don't know, but I can probably ask the old asshole... He doesn't pay attention to his own dogs at all... And he forced me to get rid of mine!!! We were better off staying in our little house in the woods...

I don't know how many fucking times we have to learn that nobody's trustworthy when you REALLY need someone to trust.

I'm honestly at the point that, if I was dangling from a cliff... Nobody would care and I would be PERFECTLY FINE WITH THAT.

#FUCK OFF #fuck my life #i hate this #fuck you world #where's home???? #i want to go home #let me go home #where do i belong #i can't trust anyone #hoplessness #nobody cares #i should just give up #quitting life

[mx-lamour]

We rewatched Hercules just now and some things stood out to me this time:

When Hercules tries to introduce himself to people for the first time and they're like "Do you have any experience?" and he goes "How can I become a hero if no one will give me a chance?" Big job hunt mood there.

Hercules' superhuman strength and klutziness are a relatable paradox. Instead of being gentle and trying to teach him how to meter his strength, everyone avoids him out of fear. Even his adoptive father, despite his affection for Hercules, is wary and asks him to stay still and out of the way when they go to market.

So the poor kid is stuck only knowing two extremes: full repression, or amplified bursts of chaos when he's distracted or overwhelmed.

#hercules #disney movies #disney movie review #gentle parenting #divergent #where do i belong #spiky skills

[deepestpersonaruins]

I'm his daughter

But he jokes that i wasn't wanted

I live with him

But do we exist together?

Are we trapped on different planes

Unaware of each other?

I'm not afraid of him

I love him

But does he care?

Does he see me?

I can't stop thinking

I worry and i plan

I know what to do

If he left or died

But what about me?

Where do I belong?

Where will he bury me

When i die?

#vent #poem #cw death #but i cant stop thinking about this #where do i belong #i need to go to bed #anyways #heres a series of poems for yall