#where i am studying

[drdemonprince]

people who are obsessed with passing are gonna be the death of our community i swear

#i understand how and why so many succumb to that temptation and of course i get it ive been there but its POISON #listening to a podcast where a trans guy says getting maamed on the phone bc hes nice means he “failed” #is soooo .... ugh #my dude that happens to so many cis gay men are you kidding me #are you really about to study how to be mean on the phone rather than just correct somebody #or just like not define your existence by fleeting interactions w strangers #if you define yourself only by passing at all times youre gonna turn into a sad hudsons guide esque husk of yourself #fuck passing 2024 i am so over it #it truly is a never ending chase for cis validation and its bad for us!!!!!

[laundrybiscuits]

(Continued from this snippet! Content notes: police interrogation, homophobia)

“You don’t look gay.” The detective gives Steve a very obvious once-over. Steve tries to look gayer as subtly as he can. 

“Sorry,” he says. “Guess I’ll have to let my boyfriend know you don’t think I look gay enough to fuck him.”

The detective’s face twists slightly, like he’s smelled something bad. “No need to be like that. I’m just saying, I bet a good-looking guy like you could get a girlfriend pretty easy.”

“You’re not my type,” says Steve. He smiles with his teeth, even though his heart is going fast and he can feel his palms starting to sweat. 

The detective’s hands tense, and Steve wonders if he’s about to get hit, but they relax again and the detective sits back.

“Just doing my job,” says the detective. “Because, funny enough, we asked around with all your little friends, and it seems like you used to be a bit of a ladies’ man.”

“Things change,” says Steve. 

“In fact…seems like none of your friends ever even saw you talk to Munson before. Moved in different circles and everything. I remember what high school was like.”

The detective leans close. 

“So why would the captain of the swim team, a nice normal boy from a good family with a string of pretty girlfriends, ever—ever—stick his neck out like this for some murdering scum like Munson? That’s what I’m trying to figure out, here.”

“Don’t fucking talk about him like that,” says Steve. His mouth is dry. His pulse is thundering in his ears. “He didn’t kill anyone. He was with me the whole time. He’s—he didn’t kill anyone.”

“Hm,” says the detective. 

It takes a while for them to stop interrogating him. They keep asking him the same questions over and over, trying to trip him up. He asks for water and doesn’t get it. In the back of his mind, a hysterical little voice is shrieking Scoops Ahoy! I work for Scoops Ahoy!, but he manages to keep it locked down. Doesn’t let himself get baited, just keeps repeating that Eddie was with him the whole time and neither of them know anything. 

It takes a while, but it’s over eventually.

When he leaves the station, Eddie’s standing outside with Hopper and Joyce Byers, wearing a shirt and jeans that definitely belonged to Jonathan at some point. Eddie’s got his hands tucked into his armpits, looking antsy and tense, but he’s free and standing on his own two feet. It’s a pretty big upgrade from when Steve last saw him about a week or two ago. 

It’s almost too easy to go straight over to him, wrapping him up in a tight hug like they’ve had their arms around each other a million times. 

“Oof. Easy there, tiger,” laughs Eddie. “I’m, uh, still a little fragile.”

“Sorry,” says Steve, and loosens his hold. He doesn’t let go all the way.

“Come on, boys,” says Joyce. “I’m taking you two home. Steve, Eddie’s been staying with us, but we’re a little short on spare beds and it’s not great for his recovery. We’re moving him to your place until we can figure out something better, okay?” 

———

Joyce drops them off and helps carry in a few garbage bags full of Eddie’s stuff. There’s not that much.

And then the door closes behind her, and Steve’s alone with Eddie for the first time since—actually, maybe ever. 

“So,” says Eddie. “What…the fuck, Harrington.”

“Is that an actual question?” Steve says. He rolls his shoulders, trying to get some of the stiffness out. “I mean, didn’t Hopper and Mrs. Byers explain everything to you?”

“Kind of? I mean, I still think this is probably the worst idea of all time, but they told me—anyway, what I meant just now was a much more personalized and individual what the fuck. As in, why the fuck would you agree to any of this? You know you’re never gonna get another girl in this town to look at you now.”

“Dumping me already? Ice cold, man.”

Eddie groans and actually throws his hands in the air in frustration. Steve hadn’t known people did that in real life. 

“Jesus christ.” Eddie wheels around and grabs two of the garbage bags. “I can’t do this right now, I need to take a fucking nap. We will be discussing this later.”

“Still don’t know what there is to discuss,” says Steve, but he picks up the last garbage bag and leads the way to the spare room. 

Eddie pitches forwards onto the bed, arms outstretched and face mashed into the pillow. “Fuck yes, I am going to marry this goddamn mattress. Hit the lights when you leave,” he says, slightly muffled. 

For a second, Steve finds himself stepping forward with a hand outstretched to—do something. He’s not sure what. Touch Eddie’s hair, or something dumb like that. His face warms. He’s really glad Eddie isn’t looking at him and doesn’t see how he’s kind of just standing there with a hand out for no reason. 

He turns around, flicking the light switch on his way out, and doesn’t look back.

#steddie #the document title for this is literally “2 cakes” #bc again...there is already a fic with this premise. by bonitabreezy. as I have already said: please go read that instead! #this is like the writing equivalent of a figure study #don't know where it's going or if it's going anywhere. I truly am just vibing with increasingly dubious historical accuracy.

[lacecap]

If you happen to lose or misplace something on the train or in a station, fill in our lost property form with as much detail as possible about your item. Please make sure you take all your belongings with you when you leave the train.

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #kdj #fishbowl #OUGH. SORRY. CAPTION #my goodnight doodle HOW IS IT 4 AM thats so scary. when did that happen who let that happen #this started as a lighting study of a photo i saw where i really liked the frosted glass esque look of it #but then i did the thing while drawing where you go What if you Put . A Guy there #so now the guy is there. or. Um. well he's ......... . #almost..... there....... #orv spoilers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Izutsumi character study

#dungeon meshi #izutsumi #One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies. #What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features) #I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status. #'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point! #Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope. #Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life. #She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'. #Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING) #Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her. #She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want. #And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy. #Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow. #Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)

[stuckinapril]

Something so ineffable about exhaustion that comes not from a lack of sleep but from a lack of rest

#neeed a day where I’m doing nothing but I don’t think that’s forthcoming #I was out all day + forced myself to hit the gym before coming home and I am TIRED #it took a hot shower to feel my bones. and now I have to study. and then I have somewhere to be tomorrow #and then I go back to the neuro clinic on Monday. which is FUN I love it #but I don’t think I can be fully present in anything if I’m so divided between everything #multitasking is an absolute must but I think downsizing just a little bit will probably mean I get to be a healthier vessel #I just need time to chill in bed and watch silly movies and read books and chart stars and count rocks idk

[oatbugs]

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

#she said it like a law. its just momentum. #also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together #and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn #they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th #UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there #and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe #ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in #death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is #unwarranted #anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday #they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭 #but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but #alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually #OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW #i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident #....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

THOAM ISSUE 7 PAGE 10

NEXT PAGE –>

<– PREVIOUS PAGE

ISSUE 1 - ISSUE 2 - ISSUE 3 - ISSUE 4 - ISSUE 5 - ISSUE 6

#thoam #issue 7 #i studied the architecture of igloos for 2 dyas just for this scene #well more than architecture i also looked up cooking and food #the temperatures and other things needed to know to realistically portray this #i am insane. just a little. but thats ok bc i like it that way #also this page is where i discovered this texture brush thats perfect for filling in the icy backgrounds #watch me overuse it in the future #btw shadow licked the soup off his glove and he liked it #.......... ah damn i forgot coloring in the red strip e on his sleeve

[iridescentpsychopath]

"The movie messes up the TV lore" 🥺🥺🥺

Bro the TV lore messes itself up. Master fu destroyed the most important temple ever cause he wasn't allowed to eat for a day.

#bro when i tell you #the only reason why i started watching this show was cause the concept was nice #but the execution is dog shit and now im just seeing where its going. #they didnt add worthwhile plot till season 4 bro #season 2 and 3 was just world building #and season 3 sucked so like a season and a half if plot max #and the FIBALLY OF 5 PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH #i wanted adrien to punch his dad in the face as himself not noir #i dont like redemption arcs the movie made #but i perfer it better than me coming off as a doomsday nut job conspiracy therorist #yelling on youtube how convient it was hawkmoth was defeated but agreste died in the process #his weird butterfly motif in his house #his aloofness started arou d the same time hawkmoth showed up #any design shown on screen was ugly af so hes not studying fashion in his free time thats for sure #i am the charlie day pepe silvia meme in this universe canonically #oh shit the actual tags #miraculous ladybug #miraculous awakening #chat noir #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug and cat noir the movie

[uncanny-tranny]

The idea that trans people in "safe states" shouldn't still fight for their rights isn't the right thing to do, I think. In fact, I'd caution against complacency. We have to ensure that safe states stay safe states. You cannot assume your rights when they are being taken away in many other states

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #also the idea that safe states are immune from being *unsafe* for trans people is pretty wild #like sure in the USA at least there *are* worse states to be trans in #but i don't think assuming you have rights and will continue to have them in safe states will be the right move #i feel lucky to live where i do and i am grateful that i was fortunate enough to have been forced to move here... #...but i also do not feel *safe* here. hell one of the cities i wanted to study in had a huge fucking hate crime occur... #...and that's what we're calling safe. so be careful out there. there is a lot of fighting left to do and it's complex and messy... #...if you're able to foght for that then be careful and safe... #...and if you aren't able to fight don't feel guilty. just rest. it's fucking hard enough out there and you have nothing to apologize for #this post was US-centric because that is where i live but it may apply to non-US countries

[damianbugs]

Hi!! First I just wanted to say your fics have been an inspo for me to write my own fics and I enjoy them immensely. Second, I’ve been wandering something and I want to ask something about how Jason Todd is portrayed after his death.

I don’t really understand why so many just kind of lie? Or exasperate who Jason Todd is and isn’t. Like the Cass and Bruce scene in front of Jason’s grave, or that scene in Gotham Knights where Alfred tells Bruce “Jason was determined to disobey him.” I know out of universe it just has to do with the mischaracterization of Jason but I’m having a hard time on finding an in universe explanation. Is it out of guilt? Out of misplaced love? It’s confusing me a bit

first of all, thank you!! i'm so glad i could inspire you that is truly the highest complement i could receive <3

secondly, this is a really interesting discussion! you're right about how in a meta way it's the deeply routed classism in jasons writing, as well as many writers (example: grant morrison) just really hating jason for some reason and doing everything they can to make him absolutely insufferable. not even in a cool evil villain way, but in an embarrassment point and laugh kind of way.

for the purpose of this discussion lets (with much difficulty) ignore the writers predispositions and implications and just focus entirely on what this means for the characters. it's good you mention the cass and bruce at jason's grave scene, because i think that example alone is a good way to deconstruct some of character's (for this post: bruce's) perspective of jason's death.

to summarise before dumping a billion paragraphs developing the point; let's not dance around it and accept that much of people's understanding of jason's death falls into the victim blaming variety, but in such way that the characters don't seem to realise that's how they perceive him, which is almost worse than them purposely retelling it in such a way. as well as that, aside from this indenial misunderstanding of jason, i think this shows the sort of flaws the other characters have.

Detective Comics #790

at first glance this seems like a really touching and emotional moment where bruce is sharing his grief with cass (especially when the entirety of #790 is about bruce struggling to do just that), but then you really read it and you're like what the fuck... why are we standing in front of this kids grave slagging him off? not only are we hearing all of bruce's regrets about how he raised jason as opposed to his son's actual death, but we are dragging steph into this too.

to bruce, jason's death is an accumulation of everything he let the boy get away with finally reaching it's tipping point. that jason's ambition to "prove something" lead to his seemingly inevitable demise.

now i do think it's important to note that WE (the readers) know jason died saving sheila. that despite being beaten, betrayed and left for dead, he tried to save someone and paid the price for it. no one else knows that, because the two people that did are dead. as a result, bruce is left with the facts that;

prior to his death, jason was acting uncharacteristically (<- important point) violent and aggressive towards himself, borderline passively suicidal. bruce himself acknowledges this.

that jason ran away from home in search of someone who may or may not be his mother. this is because losing his parents is a hurt jason has still not healed from and a topic bruce has handled badly in the past (example: willis todd). jason does not trust bruce enough to tell him about this.

once they find his mother, jason is instructed to not get involved in the joker related problem. to the extent of bruces knowledge, jason reveals himself as robin, and decides to get involved despite the instruction not to. either because he again, didn't trust bruce to believe he would handle it, or that jason was trying to prove something to bruce, to sheila, or to himself.

sheila dies, jason dies and bruce is the only one alive from the tragedy with only half the story.

All of this can be found in A Death In The Family, but I don't feel comfortable sharing panels of it given where the story takes place right now.

bruce spends the next few years blaming himself at any given point, but the blame is misplaced. bruce feels as though HIS negligence of JASON'S personality and HIS allowance of JASON'S freedom as robin is what allowed JASON to go and die. instead of seeing what he knows to be true about jason (his empathy, his kindness, his grief and loneliness) bruce can now only see how his allowance of all these things played a part in JASON disobeying him (whether maliciously or not) and dying.

in short, bruce is projecting big time onto his dead kid.

bruce is, as per usual, coping with loss by antagonising it. he did the same with babs, with steph and later on with damian. for a character like batman, who upon failing immediately turns these losses into lessons (for himself and all those forced to comply), it's the only way he seems to 'move on'. if he can understand that jason died because of all the things bruce let him do wrong, then he can convince himself that the guilt he feels for it is necessary. that jasons death is on him and that it mattered.

unfortunately, in order to do that, bruce is indenial about what he LITERALLY KNOWS ABOUT JASON! it's not like he was an absent father to jason in the slightest. but hey, if he can vitiate jason's enthusiasm to help people as jason's impulsiveness to fight (two things that can be true but not in accordance to the context he describes them in), then the blame is on jason for being brash, and on bruce for being lenient.

he shoots jason in the foot and himself in the knee to keep them both down. because, well, jason's dead anyway, and bruce unfortunately isn't. this is the closest thing they'll get to sharing the truth bruce knows he's missing and he knows it's his fault for favouring the mission of his son — so at the expense of jason, bruce lets them both be the lesson to learn from.

it is why jason is used as a cautionary tale, and why bruce is so unstable on allowing people (especially children) into his life emotionally. the second robin is a lesson for any young vigilante eager to join the mission, and batman's part in the death is a lesson for bruce wayne to... be even more emotionally untrustworthy? instructions unclear.

the final part of the grave scene is also important, because bruce is admitting that he is not so different to jason. that "for some of us [Bruce and Cass] there is no turning back". he is projecting these flaws about jason not only because that's the only way he can cope with jason's death, but he is projecting these flaws because regardless of what actually happened, he (and cass) are destined to meet the same fate. jason died for a multitude of reason that bruce may or may not have caused knowingly, and these reasons only exist because bruce knows them to be true in himself and anyone else damaged enough to find themselves on his side of the blurry line.

so, now looking a bit less zoomed in, i think it's unfortunate that jason's time as robin is often perversed by the people who should know better (bruce & alfred), and while it is bad writing on jason's character, it is great writing to show the flaws in the characters around him.

especially how it shows that grief is not always something that can become healed. bruce's guilt about his parents death amounts to something hopeful (batman), but his guilt about jason's death makes bruce cruel and childish.

tldr: no one knows the true story, so they compensate from what they do know — but by doing so they project and misinform existing characteristics of jason in order to compartmentalise the gravity of his tragic death. bruce is unable to cope normally and everyone is forced to follow the same fate, because batman's lessons are rarely wrong, even if they cause ten other problems and misunderstandings to understand.

#did this answer anything idk its exam season who even am i #dc meta #bruce wayne #jason todd #character study #saki anons #saki comic talks #put me in a box with bruce wayne and i will eat his brain #sorry idk where that came from erm

[mccall-me-maurice]

Same face syndrome final boss

I KNOW BRO IT ANKOYS ME SO MUCH i’m working on it i promise but god damn is it difficult to change faces when you were taught one way to draw them

#I TRY AND DO STUDIES #OF PPL AS OFTEN AS I CAN #ITS SO FUCKING H A R D #i mean im working on it so i feel like that makes me happy enough #as long as i see progress from where i was to where i am #anon #anonymous #mail!! #im sure this was meant to be malicious but tbh i know i have same face syndrome BWHAHAIWH

[mommyashtoreth]

Okay goomen fandom I'll say something nice this time. I am a HUGE fan of when fan stuff makes Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship not necessarily always explicitly romantic (and/or sexual) historically, but makes them more playful about the idea. Like maybe they haven't "done anything" yet, but there's tension and they're aware of it and they play with it on purpose. I like the dynamic they have in the show very much and I find it compelling television, but it's also fun to have them be consciously attracted to each other and make them tease each other about it. More of a "if there's an iced tea in there it might be love" sort of dynamic (which I almost don't doubt would've been textual if they didn't present as the same gender). Repression is fun but the full breadth of a 6000-year weird gay sex game is also fun

#am i posting this bc i spent last night conceptualizing a minisode-fic thing #where it's like. the 1910s? and crowley is a maid and az is a war nurse and they end up in the same guy's house #and i ended up writing a little mockup study that involved crowley teasing az by pulling her skirt up to show her legs? yes #open mick night #good omens #gomens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable spouses

[wooahaes]

btw for anyone like. younger than me (so like under 23). im gonna tell u what a lot of ppl older than me have already said but ill say it again regardless:

please never stress about not having it all figured out. im still figuring shit out at 23 and looking into trade schools now because life is hard and things change and thats entirely ok. ur gonna figure it out a little more and ur still gonna be kinda lost because we're all not 100% sure of where we're going. there's always gonna be some aspect of ur life that ur not 100% clear on and thats ok! u can love ur job and still not know what u like as hobbies and explore that. u can have no idea abt ur job but know ur friends well. u can be alone but know what you're most passionate about. its gonna be ok.

#wooahaes.txt #btw i do not regret my degree and i never will!!! i might have moments where i might but i genuinely loved getting to study my passions #and i think that its helped me become who i am today to stay on that path

[luckiestplant]

do you guys understand the vision

#limbus company #lcb #lcb faust #lcb yi sang #lcb hong lu #not really shipping in a romantic sense. maybe qpp but also just as friends too #idk theyre a Trio to me i hope they get more like. canon interactions. LOL #honglu and fausty being seat buddies.. they way hong lu looks at yi sang in canto iv's ending and him being young-ji #honglu's liu ID including yisang and faust as cameos #fau is studying honglu bc hes so weird to her. and the memes n stuff w them are so silly and wholesome #i think abt faust knowing lots abt yisang and that one moment where she's like 'yi sang is not a genius. I AM tho' #and to both of them that is a normal positive friendship thing and i think thats beautiful #mechanical genius . guy talented in inventions and poetry. and possibly the most emotionally intelligent dude on the bus. what a trio #plant talk

[stuckinapril]

I think there’s something to be said for the fact that I used to dread presentations when I was younger but now plan to go out of my way to sign myself up for them so I can improve my public speaking. Me from not even two years ago would’ve never. But now ?? The more the merrier let me at them

#anything from research poster presentations to research conferences to medical conferences #i also plan on investigating conferences that center on arab culture through the refugee center i volunteer at #i think my frivolous little girl dream of being someone who actually contributes is coming to fruition more and more each day #obviously i'll be fucking nervous presenting to a bunch of doctors professors politicans etc etc #but it's just necessary! i want to conduct myself w confidence amongst professionals #instead of just being 21 and young and awkward and immediately getting written off as someone not to be taken seriously #not now!! i need to not do this thing where i throw myself into 80 different things at once #studying is my top priority atm #but soon! very soon. hopefully as i progress more thru my orgo research #so many things to look forward to i am going to melt into stardust #p

[oatbugs]

i think if i painted my ex situationship i'd be cured it's the most shallow but intense connection i've had w anyone i think i am so obsessed w how she looks i want 2 photograph her/paint her forever rant in tags but ive talked abt it b4 so feel free to ignore

#god her personality is so . kind of repulsive its insane i think shes a good friend to her friends but #the way she just openly admitted to treating her exes like they r less than human w the most beautiful smile u have seen in ur life #shes acc tainted tottenham court for me bc i keep thinking of our second date where she wrapped her hands around me from behind waiting for #the train . also yh sorry we were one of those cringe ppl on the escalator sorry sorry never again sorry #shes shorter than me but on the escelators she was taller so she kissed the top of my head gently #w the most beautiful side profile on earth she said she didnt even lead me on. its fine it was never that serious #ill FUCKING KILL YOU #thinking abt when on a date she was like . yh my ex would look lovely pregnant 😊 like bitch. WHAT #also she has central heterochromia so like . super beautiful big green/brown eyes longest eyelashes ever + i dont want to lose you i think #im 80% sure we should just be friends ok my love #i took you to a party on a high-rise and you held my neck when u kissed me on a canary wharf rooftop and now you just told me you want to #fuck pregnant women and that you basically cheated on your ex who then cheated on you but its ok bc shes the love of ur life #???? #anyway #sorry i am acc basically almost entirely over her this was triggered by her texting me to meet up a few mins ago #after ghosting me for a while . anywya w/e time to hang out w friends and study