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h4ndwr1tten · 2 days

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𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠'𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧

featuring: roommate!satoru x reader

cw: fluff really, strong language? kinda suggestive.

the sudden, thundering sound of what seemed to be a crash had you jolting awake. you immediately sat upright and reached over to your lamp, switching it on and scanning your room on high alert. glancing over at your digital alarm clock, you found that it was only 1:03 in the winter morning. what kind of asshole would partake in destructing something this late?

the first person to come into mind was satoru, your roommate. he tends to stay up as late as possible doing the most random and stupid shit he could thing of. once, you caught him trying to fit himself into the shared washing machine at 3 am. but you remembered that earlier, you were going to confront him about how he left his used boxers and socks on the bathroom floor after his shower. when you stormed into his room, however, he was surprisingly in deep sleep.

so if satoru was slumped, where did the noise come from?

you debated leaving your bed for your safety or staying there, also for your safety, but ultimately decided on quickly checking the apartment for something unusual. quietly groaning, you forced yourself out of bed and into the hallway.

you hadn't found anything out of the ordinary, making you firmly believe it was an inconsiderate neighbor. nothing felt off and you weren't experiencing any sense of doom, so you returned to your bed and knocked right out.

only, an hour later, you woke up freezing. your room felt like pure ice and your body felt like you had been dipped into an ice bath. when did it get so damn cold? you thought, pulling your blanket higher up your body. it was snowing outside, but the cold shouldn't have been able to be felt with the heater on.

you tried to go back to sleep, but you only found yourself shivering despite the blanket. you rubbed your legs together in an attempt to warm you up, but it didn't seem to work. you huffed, irritated and uncomfortable by the temperature change.

getting up for the second time, you threw your blanket over your shoulders and went into the hallway to check the thermostat. there, you found satoru, also checking the temperature.

"cold?" he asked, his voice raspy from probably having been woken up to the same thing.

you hummed in response, watching silently as he tried to figure out what was wrong. he tapped at a few times, pressed the buttons every second, until he noticed that the temperature of the heater wasn't changing.

"it's broken."

oh.

"what? the thermostat?" you question, a little densely, but to be fair, it was 2 in the morning.

"no, the heater," satoru replied, tapping at his lips in thought.

that made a lot more sense. the weather from antarctica couldn't have just magically moved in with you. but did this have to do with the loud bang from earlier?

"satoru," you begin, "i woke up an hour ago because there was a bang, but i checked and nothing seemed broken inside here."

satoru hummed, turning away from the wall and to you. he opened his mouth to speak and you anticipated it, but instead, you watched as his eyes trailed down your frame, eyes falling onto your body. he was silent for a few seconds, visibly gulping. his face felt warm. could you see his pink-tinted cheeks in the dim lighting?

clearing his throat, satoru turned away and pretended to observe the thermostat, mumbling, "yeah, that might have... that might've been it."

confused, you look down at your body to find what elicited his behavior. it took you a second, but you noticed your hardened nipples poking out through your shirt. you forgot that was a thing. your eyes widened and you quickly folded your arms and blanket over your chest, feeling a tad bit embarrassed.

"what do we do now?" you asked, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

"how many blankets do you have?"

fuck, they're all in the laundry.

"one."

satoru side-eyed you, slowly turning to face you, his face deadpan.

"they're in the laundry!" you raised your hands in defense, effectively dropping the blanket to the ground.

it seemed to have caught satoru's attention because of the way his eyes moved down to the ground. then slowly up your figure, as if drinking in every part of you. your arms were still hiding your chest and you didn't look all that great right now, considering you were only in pajama pants and a baggy tee. but the way he looked at you made you feel like it was more than just the attire.

you shifted your weight onto one foot, warmth creeping up your neck. you had always felt some sort of attraction towards your roommate, but considering how insanely attractive he was, you thought that he would never even think of seeing you the same way.

but gosh, the way he eyed you like the most valuable treasure there ever was. the way there seemed to be a sort of want, desire burning in his eyes. that was enough to make you question his feelings.

"satoru?" you call, growing antsy under his gaze.

"sleep in my room," he suggests casually, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"what...?"

he sighed, probably wondering if you were stupid, or deaf, or both. "the heating's down, and it's only going to get colder from here. i say that because we are both mature, grown adults, we sleep in the same bed because right now, shared body heat is likely the only thing that's going to keep us from freezing."

you were stunned, to say the least. that's the most and longest sensible thing to come out of satoru's mouth ever. had he thought of this before?

"i guess you're right," you mumbled, face flushed. "but wouldn't it be awkward?"

"it'll only be awkward if you make it awkward," satoru retorted, opening the door to his room and waiting for you to enter. "we're mature, right?"

you walked into his ridiculously messy room, sighing, "i am, but i don't know about you."

"hey!"

you flopped down onto satoru's bed, a lingering warmth around it from before he got up. your heart began to beat a little faster as he approached the bed, the fact that you were actually about to sleep with someone you've dreamed of sleeping with before.

"y/n?" satoru called out, breaking your stare at the floor.

"yeah?"

"that's my side of the bed."

you blush furiously, scrambling to the opposite side, muttering, "oh, sorry."

but once you were there, satoru goes, "that's also my side."

you snap your head at him, glaring. "what do you mean, this is also your side?"

"i sleep in the middle."

"are you serious?" you sigh, growing uncomfortable.

"yep," satoru said, popping the p and sprawling out across the bed like a starfish. his once (and extremely rare) seriousness was gone, and he was back to his irritating antics.

you sat at the very edge of the bed, nearly sliding off, uncomfortable in the silence. satoru's eyes were closed and his breathing seemed to have relaxed, and you wondered if he was asleep. you wondered if he really meant what he said by sharing the bed too.

"satoru?" you murmured, chewing the inside of your cheek.

"mph?"

standing up, you uttered, "i can just go back to my room, i don't wanna bother you. i'll get warm eventually."

you weren't lying. even though sleeping in his bed felt like a really good idea, both for your comfort and desire, you would hate to be a bother to him.

peeking an eye open, satoru reached for your hand and grasped it, pulling you back down.

"i'm joking, y/n," he sighed, slightly muffled by his pillows. "get in here."

he fixed his position, then opened his blanket to beckon you in. you frowned, snapping, "you basically just said there's no room for me after suggesting we share the bed."

despite that, you still found yourself crawling into the warmth of his sheets. you kept yourself at the edge, though, still afraid of taking up his personal space.

it's quiet for a moment again. you raise the blanket just up to the underside of your nose, nervously picking at the pillowcase. his scent engulfed you; a mix of his cologne and natural musk, with a faint hint of detergent. you realize this is real.

satoru sighs, and to your surprise, he throws his arm around your torso and pulls you into him, your back now pressed against his front. he doesn't take off his arm, but instead, gently runs his cold hand along your stomach as if comforting you.

"i was just messing with you," he mumbles, drowsiness in his voice. "but i'm sorry, you big baby."

realizing what he said, you elbowed him in the ribs, but not too hard to actually hurt him. satoru let out a fake whine, both of you laughing quietly after.

silence fills the two of you, the only noises being shared breathing and city noise from outside. it's quiet, but it's comfortable.

you roll over onto your other side to face satoru, finding him with his eyes already shut and brows barely pinched. even in the dark, you can still make out the outline of his perfect features, from his long lashes to his cold-nipped lips. you'd trace them if you could, but you refrained out of fear of waking him up and the fact that you were in no position to be touching him like that.

"i can feel you staring at me," satoru mumbles, fatigued huskiness in his voice.

you blush, grateful for the lack of light in the room, whispering an apology.

satoru opens his eyes, a faint smile sitting atop his lips. "i know i'm insanely handsome, but sleep," he teased.

"i was actually looking at that fat, glow in the dark pimple on your forehead, but okay," you snort, scooting in closer to satoru's warmth.

his hand darts to his forehead, yelping, "actually??"

you giggle, "no. sleep."

"you suck," he sighs, chuckling before bringing his hand back to around you.

you slowly slide your arm under his and wrap it around his torso, your nerves and hesitation fading when he doesn't make a move to remove you. satoru whispers a goodnight, lips ever so slightly brushing against your forehead. you whisper it back, and sleep comes over the both of you.

maybe the heater should stay broken...

note — gave up on my layout D:

m. list

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #jjk fluff

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akajustmerry · 2 days

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I didn't really like the helmet grab by Michonne in towl. I didn't think it was necessary for them to make her do that even though I know they were trying to show how angry she was. Am I overthinking this?

forgive me but I actually think you're not thinking enough. You're not thinking about what's happened from michonne's perspective. even if you were, you're not extending her any empathy because writing off her as just "angry" does not cut it here

....Michonne had to carry on believing rick was dead for FIVE YEARS, raising their kids despite that grief and then when she was given the smallest hope he was alive she gave up another 2 years with her kids, risking her life in the wastelands, surviving chlorine poisoning, and enduring more fucking trauma with nothing keeping her going but the fact that she loved him and would not give up looking...... AND THEN she finds him against all those odds and rick had the CAUCACITY to try and trick her into ABANDONING HIM and insinuate that she DOESN'T TRULY LOVE HIM UNLESS SHE DOES??? of fucking COURSE she rips that dumb fucking helmet off his head!! she wants him to say that nonsense to her FACE, hear how insane it sounds, and be greeted with the only appropriate response to an assertion so ludicrous: silence.

When my dad and I watched that episode we both agreed rick actually got off easy for trying to pull that shit after what michonne had been through. My dad even left the room when rick was bragging about his stoopid plan to trick michonne into leaving to jadis because my dad is very sensitive to second hand embarrassment and rick was so fucking idiotic for trying to do that to michonne and thinking it would work.

ALSO.....something that I've ranted about before is this idea of an empathy gap between how people see white characters and characters of colour (ESPECIALLY Black characters) because such is the racism of the world that people simply don't empathise or even sympathise with characters of colour because they've been conditioned not to. Years of racist media conditions you to empathise with white characters almost instinctively even when they're wrong. In this case, rick was wrong. Totally wrong, despite his intentions. He was dishonest, condescending, and inconsiderate. Michonne had every right to be angry and every right to show him how angry she was. The fact that you're uncomfortable with that maybe means you haven't really paid mind to what michonne has been through and maybe you haven't done that because she's a Black woman. Personally, I loved that scene so much and I also love all the scenes in ep4 where she's pissed off because michonne isn't just rick's love interest she's a protagonist in her own right and she's NEVER not once accepted less, even from him.

anyway, hope you don't think I'm being mean! I've just seen weird discourse about that scene that is so unnecessary. It simply wouldn't be a thing if people actually cared about michonne as a character, rather than just as one half of a ship.

#towl #richonne #the walking dead #I rmr in ep 4 when he said that shit AGAIN I was like THAT DOES IT IT'S TIME TO DIVORCE HIS ASS

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int3rnetprincess · 3 days

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Omg completely down for mean!stalker Leigh, I've got sum idea like they're in a same group right? And then reader kind of sharing what she'd lost and her being abused by someone and Leigh going out her way to ruin this person who abused reader like my mind goes brRrrrrRRrRttttt,,,

RAAAAAHHHHHH I LOVE UR MIND

Leigh got used to seeing you in the group, but noticed you never had anything to say. It had been months since you joined, and you never uttered a word unless it was to her.

but this one particular time, the group decides to push you into saying something. Reasoning that “it had been months” and “you should be comfortable by now,”

after further insistence you caved and told everyone your losses, receiving a few pitiful hums and understanding nods. Then, you explain how speaking in public was only a new fear you had developed from an abusive relationship, also mentioning you had only gotten out of it several months prior.

you didn’t need to get into detail, you didn’t really want to, but your body language spoke volumes.

someone hurt you so much you were afraid to even talk? leigh started to imagine what you must’ve went through, someone hurting you when you are such a sweet, precious thing.

this made leigh lose it, a killer, almost animistic, instinct coursing through her. you could see it.

“what was their name?”

leigh questions, her hoarse voice filling the silence. you were shocked seeing her anger, she always acted as if she never liked you. you figured it was only because she lost her husband and she was just grieving in her own way, needing a little push to make some new friends.

“Lexi.” you say quietly. the tension in the room was electrifying, everyone could see it. you saw a few people shifting uncomfortably in your peripheral, but you couldn’t take your eyes away from hers. the look on her face made your heart beat ten times faster. you couldn’t tell if it was nervousness or excitement.

“Let’s take a break and eat some food, yeah?” Leah, the social worker, stands up and claps her hands together.

the next day, you’re comfortable on the couch watching the news. you hear that a brutally mutilated body had been found in an abandoned barn down a street you can’t remember the name of, somewhere around an hour and a half away from where you live.

you watch unsurprised, New York City was in its annual killer mode. a time of year where everyone seems to go rogue. Although it’s terrible, dead bodies found was nothing new.

“After a long and hard investigation, the body has been identified to be Lexi Warrington.”

(I don’t know what you wanted by ‘ruin’ but I think leigh torturing and killing them makes it a whole lot more interesting ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ)

#stalker leigh shaw muhaahahah #sorry for your loss #leigh shaw #elizabeth olsen #wlw #sapphic #Elizabeth Olsen x reader #cute anons 𐙚

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ahundredtimesover · 2 days

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Hi.. I grew up in the part of the world where sex is dirty, a sin. And a woman wanting and enjoying sex is just something so bad. She is considered a who*e. Even if she is married.Sex is just a means to make babies or obviously for men to have fun. And so I grew up uncomfortable with the idea of a naked body.. even mine.. and obviously with age and harmones... I wanted physical intimacy and I hated myself for wanting it. But then I came across BTS.. eventually Wattpad, Tumblr... And you and few other writers make sex a part of the story.. so intimate.. so deep.. Really... You and few other writers changed my perspective towards sex. I don't hate myself or my partner for wanting it. I started appreciating his attraction towards me even more. It in turn made me love my body a bit more . Even though I am still insecure af.

And directly/indirectly addressing issues.. like past traumas.. childhood trauma... Addressing issues.. accountability... I mean ur stories have them all... Somehow I became a better person in terms of understanding myself.. not there yet . But opening myself for the possibilities of my triggers, my reactions. I don't know. I try to handle myself better.. bcz all of you beautiful writers helped me get in touch with my emotions n feelings. I have always avoided them. So thank you for existing.. for sharing ur beautiful beautiful amazing creations with us..

Love 💗

Hi. Before anything, I just want to say that this message means so much to me. 🥹 And I just want to thank you for being brave in sharing something so personal and vulnerable. I understand that there are many societies that treat sex this way. And I'm sorry that you had to go through that discomfort or even shame for wanting it, and if it affected your relationship. It's always a tough thing to navigate.

For me personally, I used to be scandalised by it. That changed when I got a boyfriend but I would still get insecure and feel shy to explore. One thing that writing has done for me was allow myself to explore that side of me that wanted that intimacy, that bit of roughness but gentleness; it allowed me to know what I want and how to express that to my partner. I think my stories reflect what I feel about sex. Sure, it's pleasurable and it has many purposes. But there's something so special when it's done with someone you care about, when there's trust and respect and this overflowing desire to be in each other's presence, to learn about each other and make the other feel good and happy.

I started appreciating his attraction towards me even more. It in turn made me love my body a bit more - I absolutely love this. I love that there's that acceptance now, and though you may still get insecure sometimes, you know that someone will love you regardless. I love writing banter and admiration and body worship in my scenes bc I feel like they're so natural. They make the act more genuine and real. So I'm happy that even with just these stories, it can change the way you approach it and think about yourself. 😊

Somehow I became a better person in terms of understanding myself - I love how you framed this, because learning to understand ourselves is one way to be better. I started writing as a form of release. I just got off my anti-depressants then and I needed to cope. Writing was cathartic, and I was able to put my fears and desires into words, it let me express my emotions in a way that stabilised me, and I'll always be thankful that in doing so, it helped you be in touch with your emotions, too. It's such a beautiful thing we can do for ourselves - to be kinder, to be gentler. I hope we can always strive towards that.

Thank you for dropping by, and for trusting me enough to share this. I'm glad that I, and other writers in this space just trying to get by, could do something for you in such small way. Please always be well. And I'm sending you love. 💕💕💕

#mimianswers #💌

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weebsinstash · 3 days

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Was thinking of something you said about Luci. Like him crying when he sees you coming you back to the hotel all marked up. Even better idea, him regularly spying on you using the orbs/balls from episode 6. Probably started as a way to learn more about you and make sure you're safe but quickly became something else....

Like you say him seeing you after? How about him watching you get fucked crying his eyes out and touching himself?

Like he's so upset it's not him, but he can't NOT watch and listen! He needs to see what you like so he can be perfect for you, and make sure you're safe. So what if he touches himself? How can he not when it's you he's watching and hearing? Even if it's with some sinner scum.

I misread Luci as Lucci and I was like "HOW DO Y O U KNOW I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ROB LUCCI, I HAVEN'T EVEN POSTED ABOUT MY CP0 READER X LUCCI ESPIONAGE IDEA YET--"

I was thinking about Lucifer, you know, how we tend to think of him as Charlie's dad and just "the Devil" but I think we can kind of forget, he's also the Cardinal Sin of Pride, and I keep brainstorming on how he's probably INSANELY JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE AND WOULD BE TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU ALL THE TIME

Can you even imagine like. He's peeping on you getting railed by someone twice your size and that person can absolutely scoop you up and throw you around with how big they are and here's Lucifer uncomfortably reminded of how short he is. bonus points if before this you and him had an argument and you shit all over his height just to piss him off and now he's seeing you fuck some huge dude. Give him that emotional damage with the backstab buff

The thing with Lucifer is that, he's short, yeah, but like. He's also ungodly strong. I'm too lazy to link the post but people have pointed out that he literally was not even remotely phased when Adam was throwing him against a building and trying to hurt him, like actual frames of Lucifer just kinda sitting there o.o, totally unbothered. And this could go one of two ways! You could get protected and rescued by him and, he scoops you up into his arms and that makes YOU feel small (in a sexy way)

you kinda like, not infantilize him per se, but you figure, since he's "this little goober" that he would never like, ACTUALLY do anything scary, but. Honey he's a grown man who wants you as a serious partner and he's extremely prideful and attached to you and you're, constantly picking other people over him 💀💀💀 you're irritating him on purpose, you're giving him sass, you're FUCKING OTHER DUDES and I can see him totally snapping, "you think I'm not serious about you?! I'll show you!!" and just, yoinks you up, snatches you away, you're magically appearing either AT THE ALTAR WITH HIM LIKE, WEDDING WITH AN ENTIRE AUDIENCE, or straight into his bed where he proceeds to show you exactly why he deserves to be your king

(Tbh I've grown a sudden uh, taste for "yandere character suddenly reveals they're gonna marry you" and I mean with a whole ass engagement ring and WEDDING especially for Lucifer and Alastor recently 😩 WAIT LUCILILI POLY WEDDING-)

Still obsessed with "i bet she doesn't even see me as a man" Lucifer vs "he definitely doesn't even see me as a woman haha I'm gross :)" Reader where little Luci Goosey finds out you're just, straight up either hating yourself or have been rejected too many times to even find yourself desirable, and the second he realizes it's not even him that's 'the problem', he's taking matters into his own hands. Like something slips out of your mouth, "why would anyone want me, I'm, I'm dorky and stupid and gross and ugly" and Lucifer is just like, "OH!!! Aw honey you just have depression :) oh golly we have so much in common--"

I also just. Really like the idea that he's basically got full control over Hell and can get in your head and know what you're thinking and feeling if he REALLY wants to. Got another ask in my drafts I'm about to get to that delves more into the idea of him and Lilith HELLA abusing their dream controlling/pocket dimension powers in a definitely not "you didn't know you had a secret second life in your dreams that was 100% real" kinda way...

#yandere hazbin hotel #yandere x reader #hh #yandere hellaverse #sinprompts

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bumblingbabooshka · 8 months

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Two people on a small bipartisan science station gently fall in love.

#S'veyk #Ehergha #S'veyk is half Vulcan half Klingon & Ehergha is full Klingon #beas ocs #both S'veyk and Ehergha bond over loving their home planets but wanting them to change their views on certain things #S'veyk wishes Vulcan were more accepting of others and Ehergha wishes there was more emphasis placed on honor in #things outside of war - though (and this is important) they both feel very proud of where they come from #Like a month after the above convo they're getting married btw #neither Vulcans nor Klingons seem to have a dating period as the cultural norm it's mostly just rituals and marriage <3 #skipping right to good stuff /j #Cute fact!: Ehergha and S'veyk attempt to nuzzle their heads together but his ridges are uncomfortable on her skin #(hers are more like raised bumps while his feel more like bone)#so they have to do it sooo carefully and gently but S'veyk insists on doing it!!#She also throws a vase at him after the above comic in an attempt to return his affections (she read about it)#and he's like 'you don't have to force it' (sorry) 'just - if it feels right you can throw something then.'#bea art tag #star trek oc #they are NOT in Starfleet

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icewindandboringhorror · 10 months

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I got these shoes from someone recently but thought they were way too plain looking, so I set out on a quest to customize them with some sharpies and charms and miscellaneous ribbon I had in my craft drawers. Mostly sky themed (clouds, rainbows, rain, stars, etc.) because that's my favorite aesthetic, but I had to include some cat imagery as well, of course lol.

#also honestly had NO IDEA that real converse have that star logo on the INSIDE not the outer part??? why the hell would you want it on the #inner portion where nobody can see it?? my entire life I always would have sworn it was on the outer facing portion..#I think these would be perfect IF they were just slightly taller (top part higher above ankles instead of just weird hard material digging #right into your ankle whenever you walk) and if they were actual good platforms. they're so short. It's good that 'chunky' shoes are gettin #more popular as they've always been my favorite Look ever since I had these shoes with roller skates that pop out of thebottom (not heelys.#but like. before those. it was two whole entire roller skate wheels like a normal pair of roller skates) and the bottoms were so tall and #clunky and it made my feet look giant (because it had.. entire wheels in the bottom pockets lol). so #I've alwatys been into the aesthetic but . still I find a lot of the 'brands jumping on trend' are too short of platforms #OR they're plafrorms with a raised back/heel/wedge which to me is not aesthetically good and also makes them exceptionally uncomfortable to #wear compared to just plain completely flat chunky platform bottoms. ANYWAY.. if these shoes had a 3 or 4 inch platform I think they'd be #cooler. however for what they are it's still fine! and I like them more now that they actually have some sort of anything to them and #aren't just plain white. The weird thing is that the material it's made out of (maybe some sort of leather or something) absorbs sharpie?#the color changes over time. You draw a mark and then leave it for a few days and it either fades into being barely there or has changed #colors. so I had to go back in and redo parts. ALSO the shoe chains are so funny because I did NOT have the right tools for them #I don't have the stuff to make bracelets or open and close the little rings. they're held onto the shoe with just safety pins and the actua #little rung things that hold the charms on half of them are like broken or the metal is just jam smushed together bent and warped hhbjhjhb #I actually like the back a lot where there's the irridecent star thing hot glued on there. it's cool and shiny. and the clouds #are sparkly on the main parts of the shoe though I'm not sure how well it shows up in pictures #ANYWAY... shoegs..... If I were rich this is one of the things I would definitely custom order from craftsman #why would I spend like thousands of dollars on plain ass shoes that are just expensive because they're a Luxury Brand when I could literall #like pay people to create me custom shoes to my exact specifications?? I could have like 5 inch flat platform boots with fur andclouds #and cat shaped holes in the bottom with LEDs in them with pom pom and charms and etc. etc. etc. Like as gaudy and excessively over #decorated as I want lol.. AND they could have skates in the bottom somehow!! ghjgbhjb #this on top of all the custom wizard costumes and period clothing I would order.. Like i LOVE customizing things. I love everything in my l #life being as particualr as possible and cultivating every experience I have to meticulously meet my own specific criteria as much #as is possible. If I had the money to I would never buy something from a store again. EVERYTHING I owned from furniture to clothing #would be either made by me - or mostly - comissioned from craftsmen. custom tiles for my floors. custom bed. custom table.#even like. custom toilet. custom sinks. etc. etc. ouGGH... but yeah.. anyway... shoes..

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astridthevalkyrie · 3 months

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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh

long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional

#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now #and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him #they're both going to the correct doctors #but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is #jokes that i'm faking it #i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself #which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't #but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was #so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time #and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space #i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me #i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems #i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY #the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS #i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind #and not awkward or mean #i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't #and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this #i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware #but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit #i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone #i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child #my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow #what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it

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br1ghtestlight · 4 months

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genuinely kinda pissed I have to give a presentation tomorrow for school and I'm going to be graded on eye contact (among other things) WHICH I CANNOT DO not only bcuz of autism but because my eyes physically. do not have the ability to focus together on a person place or thing like the muscles in my eyes are too weak. im gonna be wearing an eye bandage anyway so I'll be basically completely blind unable to see my teacher but I just hate being graded on something I quite literally have no control over. ughhh education system sucks

#it most likely won't be a problem bcuz i go to an alternative school for people with Issues And Problems who didnt graduate normal school #disabilities are to be expected #idk its just annoying. people get soo pissy about eye contact even when I have actual medical excuses for why i cant. MULTIPLE OF THEM EVEN #every interview or whatever they're like make eye contact. girl I cant #not just “its uncomfortable for me” like I can't. its like telling someone without eyes/who is completely blind to make eye contact #like that isnt something im capable of doing on a very basic level bcuz i dont have control over where my eyes are looking or for how long #sorry for Schoolposting so much today it isnt that interesting. im just frustrated w/ myself and also with the world #and my optometrist for having to wait 6+ months for a single appointment. not that its really gonna fix anything but yknow #ophthalmologist**#txt

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little-whats-her-name · 16 days

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"I can't hear you over the sound of the eight billion glasses and plates clinking, and the very high possibility that I'm going to lose my job, and the fact that everyone at this charity dinner hates me but we have to act nice to each other, and the weird lighting in this room, and these fucking Spanx!" - Katherine Hastings, probably

#she's autistic because i said so #the lighting in the charity dinner is so weird #it's not bad lighting but the spotlights make me think of searchlights #i remember trying on these really firm leggings that my mum has #and my mum was like “remember when you were asking about shapewear because of that show? that's what Spanx feel like.”#and i'm thinking “well that's bullshit; i can see why they made an entire cold open about them; this material is awful.”#also there's a continuity error in that cold open with katherine's sleeves #and it bothers me because when ana posted the scene on her insta; there was no continuity error #but the clips were in a different order in the actual episode #which just goes to show how many times i've watched that cold open #like i love it and i hate it #also wtf were the tight sleeve things for #do people really pay that much attention to women's arms when they're wearing tight dresses?#katherine and ana don't need spanx #and the former shouldn't feel like she needs them #i will die on this very specific hill #that scene in the commercial ep where sadie says something like “women should wear what they're comfortable in”#TELL THAT TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND #on x's insta she said that they were all wearing spanx and could barely breathe #and i'm just thinking about katherine really awkwardly asking dori for help #and dori sending a text to sadie #being like “we will all support katherine. we will all be concerned about her job and be physically uncomfortable together.”#women loving women in a non-gay way #but also in a gay way #sad that i can't tag people in hashtags #because i would love for @harrietdyker to write a fic #american auto #katherine hastings #sadie ryan #dori otis

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catcatb0y · 7 months

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"This post makes a great blocklist" has done awful things to my psyche. Why do I keep wasting what builds up to hours of my time reading all of this dumb shit just to block people?? It's block and move on, not black and move and block and move and block and move and-

#'if you have an alt account that's because you have something to hide'#'why would you put your gross stuff with your good stuff???'#pick one bitch #'seeing that is triggering to me' okay valid me too #'but if I interacted with someone who happens to like it on their down time I want people to bring it up to me asap'#good for you I guess?? if you bring up my triggers when I am talking about something I like I will bite your head off!!#'fictional gross stuff is gross' 'kill yourself irl'#do #do you hear yourself?#the idea that people genuinely believe it's fine and okay to harass and bully people irl but it's not okay to quietly Make Weird Art is so #o.O #I don't want to see it so I block tags! I filter! I mind my own business!#'I happened to stumble upon an alt account that triggered me-'#I mean this lovingly (no I don't)#where were you that you accidentally found an account with content that triggers you and it JUST SO HAPPENED to bear similarity to a #completely different account...?#assuming that the alt accusation is in good faith- that's a lot of research to put yourself through just to make yourself uncomfortable #assuming that you just saw it and clicked away like anyone seeing trigger/squick content would how would you even KNOW that's an actual alt #and then it just goes back to the 'people put stuff you don't want to see somewhere you don't have to see it'#if they put it somewhere else they're hiding it but if they put it alongside their other stuff they're promoting or glorifying it #I don't need to touch grass I need to touch that unfinished fic I left in the summer of 2019

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vashti-lives · 22 days

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After vague blogging about fanfic and YA I will say that the issue of media for teens mixing poorly with all ages and adult media is not a problem exclusive to fanfic writers. 90% of the conflict in the star wars fandom stems from the fact that star wars’ YA and children’s media is to some degree canonically and philosophically incompatible with the mainline movies. In the movies the Jedi are unequivocally the heroes and we’re supposed to respect them even as they get backed into a terrible corner. They’re wise heroes doing their best.

In the media made for kids by necessity the adults of the Jedi order have to make absolutely wild and absurd decisions in order for the kid protagonists to get chances to do heroic stuff actual kids would find fun and exciting. This naturally puts their behavior at odds with the goals of the movies.

Add in that the movies don’t hold up to close reads because they’re intended to be fun summer blockbusters, and the fact that the Jedi are based on a fairly shallow understanding of a non-western collectivist lifestyle without nuclear families which is extremely foreign to western audiences and what do you get? Decades worth of discourse over whether the Jedi are actually good guys which can never be resolved because they're based on completely different ways of analyzing media. Worse, nobody can agree on what parts of star wars should be counted in the first place so even if you're analyzing things in the same style you might still be doomed.

#i go through phases where i'm kind of obsessed with star wars meta and discourse #so many people coming from pretty incompatible places all convinced that they're correct #and so mad at people on the other side #it's like a train wreck #on the one hand between the media aimed at kids #and the fact that george frequently chooses flow over characterization #(see: the movies do not hold up to a close read)#it's uh EXTREMELY EASY to make the argument that the jedi kind of suck if you're reading things from a watsonian perspective #and at a certain point even if you know that there are doyalist reasons for why some things are the way they are #there's so much that would have to be hand waved that you can't just use the doyalist excuse for everything #if you're trying to write fanfic #ON THE OTHER HAND #it's extremely obvious that some people are very uncomfortable #with the lack of nuclear families in the jedi order #and prefer other cultures *cough*mandalorians*cough* exclusively because they have something closer to a western family system #but the most fascinating are people who are extremely pro jedi #but like #also pull a shit ton of stuff out of the jedi apprentice books #for example #like... if you're considering those books canon in your fic then the jedi order is almost unsalvagable in a non YA context

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zemnarihah · 23 days

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i think one of the worst feelings in the world is having uncertainty about your living situation it is literally so stressful and there's like... not much i can do right now...

#so k is still planning on moving and may be leaving the 16th of may. but doesn't know for sure. but apparently the apartment she wants says #she has to notify our apartment now that she will be leaving which means we both have to sign something that says she's leaving and i'm #taking responsibility for the lease.... and she doesn't know that she has it yet so she doesn't have someone to move in and take her spot.#i'm trying to get my friends to move in but idk if they will probably not. regardless if k leaves and we don't have anyone then i like #legally have to pay the full rent. i don't think she would leave me hanging like that but also i feel so uncomfortable betting my whole #financial situation on that because i would LITERALLY get evicted. like i cannot afford that under any circumstances. sooo.#and on top of that i'm still so scared that i'll end up with a roommate i don't like. ik that's like not even that big of an issue like i've #had that before and i'll survive but i don't want to have to deal with that like ik im being a baby but i just feel so scared about the #whole thing #like i kind of want to say no to signing the thing but that would screw kate over and definitely blow up our friendship but i really don't #feel like our friendship is in a place where i feel like i can trust her with like. my whole entire bank account and credit score. bc like.#that's what's at risk.#idk i'm gonna talk to her about it and just make sure that there's no other way and make sure that she promises to pay her part of the rent #until someone takes it over. and also probably talk to my parents and see if they're willing to bail me out if she DOES fuck me over... i'm #99.99999% sure she won't but. idkkkk my brain is just nagging me abt that one little chance...

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kakusu-shipping · 3 months

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Platonic f/o asks my beloved,,

Anyway, dogwood, cottonwood, and palm for Team Rocket!!

Thankyou very much the Squad!!!!! We love the (no so) Evil Crew!!

Dogwood - You've been quiet for a week or so- do they reach out to ask what's wrong, or do they let you have your space?

I can't imagine a situation where we're not physically right next to eachother that long, but if it did happen they'd reach out. They're a very clingy, prone to think the worst kind of crew.

Jessie's the least likely to reach out as she's pretty use to people just vanishing from her life, so she wouldn't be that worried. But Wobbeffet and Meowth worrying would eventually get her to cave and call me.

Cottonwood - If you took a vacation together, where would you go? What would you do?

Back to Alola! We'd visit Beware and Stufful, chill and play on the beach, plan to stay in a nice hotel just to have Beware INSIST we come home with her and rest in the cave... and honestly that is much better than any fancy hotel could be.

I'd also probably visit my brother Molayne while we're there, maybe finally introduce them to him.. but also probably not skdjkfsk They're shy and anxious around Gym Leader types.

Palm - If they did something you didn't agree with, would you call them out on it or let it slide? Would they call you out on something?

Jessie does whatever she wants and calling her out on it is a risk I'm not willing to take. Meowth maybe it depends on what he did, he's pretty reasonable. Wobbuffet has never done anything wrong in his life he is perfect.

Oh but they'd call me out for sure, especially Jessie. She eats Meowth's special dessert he was saving in the fridge? She did nothing wrong. I ate Meowth's special dessert he was saving in the fridge? I owe the entire hideout dessert now for such a heinous crime. Heaven forbid I actually do something to her she doesn't like...

I feel like following a crew of thieves around watching them attempt to steal some kid's Pikachu for years kind of lowers your standard for what's worth picking a fight over, but that's just me.

#Thankyou for asking #Team Rocket my beloved they're so goofy <3 #Stuck like glue canNOT imagine being away from them for more than 24 hours without them busting down my door #Polycule kinda situation #I love you Jessie she's so mean #And Wobbuffet my baby boy <3 #The ONLY thing I'd ever call Team Rocket out on was that one Episode of Journey's about blue Pokemon #Where they were selling the Wobbuffet experience to those two Blue Loving Superfan guys #Those two were very obviously very sexually into Wobbuffet and Wobbuffet was very VERY not into it #And Jessie yelled at Wobbuffet for abandoning them #This is something I'd get in a fight with Jessie about but really just to get her to realize what was happening #Because I think Jessie and James really didn't KNOW those guys were Very Sexually Into Wobbuffet #I think if I explained that to her she'd find those guys and kick their teeth in #How DARE they make her bestie little guy uncomfortable!!!#dskfjdsjkfksd #I love Wobbuffet he's my little guy <3 #Meowth is a grown human man and I adore him as well. The most just a guy #I should re-draw my Rocketsona at some point #The only art I have of him is VERY old #Anyway!#Thanks again for asking!!! I'm gonna miss Team Rocket when the new series finally comes out (dubbed)#I wish they'd retired or something but... I guess I'm glad they're still out there too #Journeying with Ash... Against his will fkgjkfdkjgd

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