#where in albatross shes so happy

[some-pers0n]

Okay after seeing that nuclear bad take about Albatross being a "fucking psycho", here!! Get another one of these emotional rants of mine.

Albatross is a character I think a lot of people misunderstand. I think a good chunk of the reason why this somewhat new obsession I have over him was kick-started by just how many times I saw people on Reddit or in YouTube video comments go on and on about how he was insane in the membrane and was a pure evil dragon. It reminds me of my thoughts on Orca as well, where I don't want to take her at face value and see her as this dragon who just wanted to take over the throne. That's boring. I like the idea of her being something more.

But with Albatross? We've got a lot more evidence pointing to him being more than just "crazy old dragon". Reading the text, you see that Albatross is just kinda..sad? He's miserable and I personally get the feeling that he regrets having spent decades being bossed around by Lagoon. That he's tired of being seen as this freak-show dragon who could snap at any moment. He did once all of those years ago, and now it haunts him ever since.

Lagoon (and Sapphire to an extent) and their impact on Albatross's life is one that I find extremely overlooked. I don't know how people can think Albatross had no reason to do any of this and was just "snapping because he lost all of his soul" when Lagoon literally was egging him on just minutes before the massacre happened. He was being shown like a disfigured and disturbing trophy to the SkyWings. Statues of herself built by Albatross for no other reason than to have statues of herself. Lagoon flaunted her control over him and how he could do anything for her, mentioning ideas for enchantments that'll make her immortal. When Albatross speaks up, she shuts him down. She emotionally manipulates him by bringing up Sapphire again, saying that he'll never live it down. She then goes on to say how happy she is about how Fathom is an animus, excited to finally replaced her old, snappy, and unreasonable brother.

How much more obvious can you get that Lagoon was manipulating and controlling Albatross? For god's sake we even see this in the guide as well, with Lagoon bringing up Sapphire again. Lagoon uses that one tramatic event as leverage for everything. Something that she did is now Albatross's fault forever because he swiped back. He didn't want to be beaten down and made fun of anymore. He didn't want to be tormented by them any longer.

It's a moment that haunts Albatross. He regrets it deeply. It was an accident, but Lagoon won't ever make him forget it. She used the guilt that Albatross felt and made him do anything she wanted. How could he do such a thing? Cut off his sister's talons and drive her to madness? Lagoon knew how much this incident impacted Albatross. She wanted to make sure he always knew that it was his fault. That, no matter what, he will never live down being the one to ruin Sapphire's life.

His entire life he's more or less been just a means for Lagoon to exploit. A tool for her to use whenever she wanted something. The Summer Palace was more or less a vanity project, where Lagoon could show off how she has two palaces now. I don't think he ever used animus magic for himself. The only time he acted of his own accord, he would be snapped at by Lagoon. Him being mentioned to have traumatized dragonets by setting the trees ablaze during a Talons of Power ceremony was, again, brought up by Lagoon so that she could remind him of how he's unstable and should listen to her.

Not to also mention that he was described by Fathom as kind, albiet distant and somewhat cold at times. I don't think he was evil. He was a dragon who was spat into a world that was unkind and took advantage of him at every moment. Him being different than the others was the catalyist for everything. He was told he would be nothing more than an unstable, murderous dragon who could snap at any moment.

And he did just that, didn't he?

#wof #wings of fire #albatross wof #I am THE No. 1 Albatross sympathizer and don't you get that wrong #Hdodhekdbkehre again like. I don't condone his actions or think he was right to kill Lagoon (shocking I know) #But to dwindle him down to “lunatic with a knife” is ASININE #Treat him like the misunderstood and tragic villain he is #sp-rambles

[queenlucythevaliant]

Okay, here we go. Rating literary allusions in Taylor Swift songs:

The Outside: "I tried to take the road less traveled by /but nothing seems to work the first few times/am I right?"--Starting off pretty well! She tried to take the road less traveled by, but it didn't make any difference. 8/10

Love Story: Whole song allusion to Romeo and Juliet-- All those 2008 jokes about Taylor not having read R&J weren't funny then and they aren't funny now. It's a fun, satisfying subversion. However, I am going to dock points for the fact that Romeo and Juliet aren't a prince and princess, just rich. 7/10

Love Story: "You were Romeo/I was a scarlet letter"--Is the Juliet character in "Love Story" being publicly shamed? Did she do something scandalous? There are zero other lines in this song to suggest that she did, and a fair amount of evidence that she didn't. This allusion confuses rather than clarifies and tbh this is the one people should've made fun of in 2008. 2/10

New Romantics: "We show off our different scarlet letters/ trust me, mine is better" --Hooray! She figured out what the book is about! This is a beautifully executed allusion, where "scarlet letters" represents a mark of something shameful which, in a fun subversion, is being shown off with pride. Fits the song really well. Most improved award, 11/10

Getaway Car: "It was the best of times, the worst of crimes" (A Tale of Two Cities) -- Goes in the category of "fun wordplay, but doesn't really mean anything deeper" 5/10

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: "Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year" --This is a perfectly serviceable allusion, but not a super interesting one. Sub "Gatsby" out with "nostalgic" and the song wouldn't change at all. She could've done a lot more with the reference, given the subject matter of the song. 6/10

cardigan: "I knew you/tried to change the ending/Peter losing Wendy" -- This works! You get a sense of Betty losing her innocence and choosing to leave James and of it being inevitable somehow. Plus, it imbues the song with a lovely fairy tale quality. 10/10

illicit affairs: "take the road less traveled by/tell yourself you can always stop" -- To take the road less traveled by is to do something risky, unpopular, or unfamiliar, not just to take a route through town where you won't run into people. Not totally egregious, but the regression from Debut is disappointing. 4/10

invisible string: "and isn't it just so pretty to think/ that all along there was some/ invisible string tying you to me."(The Sun Also Rises)--Ugggggh. Okay, so "Isn't it pretty to think so?" is this sad, tired, ironic note in The Sun Also Rises. Brett tells Jake, "We could have had a damned good time together" and Jake says "Isn't it pretty to think so?" because their whole situationship was never going to work. It's not a positive thing; it's pure, bitter Lost Generation irony. Completely out-of-place in a song about how two people we're supposed to believe will actually work as a couple. This one drives me nuts, and I don't even like Hemingway. 0/10

happiness: "I hope she'll be a beautiful fool/ who takes my spot next to you" (Gatsby)--Saying this about an ex's future SO is so... off. Like, the reason why Daisy hopes her daughter will be a beautiful fool is because it's easy. The two situations have nothing to do with one another, and not in an interesting way. 1/10

The Albatross: whole song allusion to "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," but most notably "She's the albatross/ she is here to destroy you"--The albatross in the Rime is a good omen. The Mariner shoots is for no reason, and the albatross's death is the ostensible source of bad fortune. I wrote a whole separate post on this here. That said, culturally "albatross=bad omen" is common enough, so whatever. 3/10

I Hate It Here: "I will go to secret gardens in my mind/ people need a key to get to/ the only one is mine" -- I like this one a lot. Exactly the right vibe for the song, trying to escape something miserable by going somewhere pleasant. The key is a nice touch. Poor Archibald. 10/10

The Prophecy: "I got cursed like Eve got bitten" --No Taylor, that's not what happened. Famously, Eve was the biter in that situation. 0/10

Cassandra: whole song allusion -- correct me if I'm wrong (I haven't actually read the Illiad), but my understanding is that Cassandra died fairly far into the Trojan war, and not by burning. 4/10

#this probably isn't exhausive lol #but it's what i've got off the top of my head #this was weirdly cathartic to write #you guys know i adore taylor swift but literary allusions have always been my biggest nitpick with her #i would just like to send her to an English class or gently help her out or something idk #tay tay #i'm aware that i'm not addressing Peter off ttpd but that song is such a nothingburger that i really can't be bothered #pontifications and creations #literature makes us more human

[rjmhereunderprotest]

Crossed Paths & Tangled Webs: Why I Ship SpiderCat

This is gonna be a controversial one through no fault of my own... but also it's all my own damn fault. A confusing contradicting statement to be sure, but when you're talking about Peter Parker and Felicia Hardy, that statement seems to ring the most true. Two people who are as perfect for each other as they are imperfect. In love through no fault of their own... and completely at fault for being so.

My poll for another ship to cover picked this... I'm more than happy to talk about it but we're dealing with volatile stuff right now. As I write this, Spider-Man and Black Cat actually ARE in a relationship with each other. Peter has recently stated that he no longer feels romantically for his long-time love-interest, Mary Jane, calling her more akin to a sister. MJ was apparently stuck in some post-apocalyptic Narnia situation where enough time passed for her to have kids with another guy. And if that wasn't enough... Mary Jane may be about to join Gwen Stacey in the fridge, if you get my meaning. As Zeb Wells is teasing the most shocking Spider-Man story since Gwen Stacey's death and the solicits for the story afterwards say Spider-Man is about to suffer a terrible loss. Felicia is on the covers of at least one of those issues. So unless it's a complete fake out and Wells is going to kill off a relationship he has stated he both prefers and spent a ton of time setting up at the expense of the preferred romance among fans... yeah it's not looking good for MJ. I mean he might kill off Aunt May again, but... well there's no guarantees in comics... ever.

This is a strange time period to be a long suffering SpiderCat shipper. I have held a torch for these two for such a long time it feels like almost second nature. I see Felicia, I want to see her with Peter. No one else, man or woman, will do. (Yes she's Bi, shut up, it's canon) Yet right now, a SpiderCat shipper is now writing the Spider-Man books and everyone seems to absolutely hate Zeb Wells' execution of it all. I've gotten what I wanted, at last, but fans are outright rejecting it. Not so much for Felicia and Peter being together mind you, as much as they're annoyed MJ is being thrown under the bus.

Which I get actually, I may have wanted this ship over Peter/MJ, but not at her expense. I don't want her DEAD or badly written. And given how Marvel has basically treated MJ and Peter over the years, it's hard to argue that these reactions are anything but justified. Even decades later, One More Day's shadow still looms large. Marvel has constantly teased and poked and prodded and snickered about the possibility of Mary Jane and Peter Parker becoming an item again. If not married, at the very least dating. But Marvel seems insistent on this point. "The Marriage was a mistake, we're never going back to it. And anything that is even remotely similar to that status quo is not allowed. Ever." The inability of Marvel's Spidey writers to craft a compelling happy marriage between Peter and MJ has been an albatross around the neck of the ship forever! Even when they did it in an ongoing, it had to be a different universe! One where the Civil War comics event wasn't a thing, so that was also a plus. And MJ had to get Spider Powers too in order to smooth over the whole thing for writers.

So, yeah, MJ's been blamed for making Spider-Books dull and kept at arms length from Peter as much as possible. Because if Spider-Man is EVER TOO HAPPY that can only spell DOOM for the character. His world must always revolve around misery. Linkara of AT4W has said it time and again, in the eyes of Marvel, Spider-Man can never be allowed to be happy.

And yet, despite all that, I still hold true to this maxim, Peter Parker and Felicia Hardy are made for each other. If I ever had an OTP, if I ever had a ship I'd die for, if there was ever any romance I was forever evergreen invested in... it was SpiderCat. Despite whatever the world says, that it can't work, that it's a bad idea, that they don't need each other, that it will never be the way Peter/MJ were once... I don't care. I reject all of that and state proudly, without shame, every time that Spider-Man and the Black Cat are and always shall be perfect for each other.

So Let's Talk about Why that is...

Usually I'm inclined to give brief synopsis points about both characters in separate sections. But Spider-Man is so well known and Black Cat so simply explained in their initial set ups it feels almost... pointless. When you can describe at least one half of the shipping dynamic with a theme song from a sixties cartoon it's hard to honestly come up with anything new or original.

So yeah, Peter Parker, nerdy wimp who gets bitten by a radioactive spider, doesn't get cancer from this, but super powers. Thinks about using these great powers to enrich his life, but after letting a criminal get away because it's "not his problem" he learns a harsh lesson about responsibility. His uncle dies at the hands of said criminal, it's all his fault, and Peter proclaims that as long as he has these powers he will use them to help people.

And as a result, Spider-Man is the hero that always gets up because he has to, he needs to. Because people, strangers and loved ones, depend on him. This comes at the cost of a great deal of things that would make him personally happy. Because if Spider-Man is about anything, it's about personal sacrifice and responsibility. It has been a running theme since his first comic and will continue until the heat death of the universe. If you know nothing else of Spider-Man, this is the most important fact about him going forward for the rest of this essay. Spider-Man is Responsibility and Self-Sacrifice Personified. Whenever he doesn't live up to either aspect of himself, bad things happen, to him, to the people he cares about and New York City at large.

On the other side of that coin, Felicia Hardy, aka the Black Cat. Infamous thief. While her origins are more fluid throughout her incarnations, her general story is pretty much the same. Felicia is a thrill seeking thief, who lives for the daredevil rush only a well-executed heist can accomplish. The Black Cat persona is that of a femme fatale thief of the highest order. There's no question that she shares more than a few similarities to Catwoman of Batman fame. Save for the fact she might possess a slight passive power that causes bad luck to her opponents.

Different character of course, but that's just to establish that it is a superpower. Felicia uses it mainly to steal whatever she wants and get away scot-free. She, in general, tries to avoid personal consequences for these actions. While her motives may vary from one story or universe to the next, ultimately her purpose in life is the same. To live for herself, for her needs and how she wants. The Black Cat persona is just that, a means to indulge in her wants and desires to the fullest extent. She is, inherently, self-serving and selfish whereas Spider-Man is selfless.

On the surface this presents a dynamic akin to oil and water. Spider-Man is an avatar of personal responsibility. The Black Cat is the personification of independent self-interest. They are such opposites, such contradictions, that they should just not work. They should be enemies... and that is how they started.

Amazing Spider-Man #194, Black Cat's first appearance where she and Spidey come to blows over her illicit activities. Felicia has contracted a crew for a job to spring her terminally ill father from prison. Spider-Man tries to stop her, only to end up buried under the rubble of the exploding prison wall. Black Cat flees the scene with a quip about crossing her path and Spidey with a bad arm post-fight. The next issue sees Spidey deduce Felicia's real identity and that Felicia only broke her father out so he could spend his dying hours with his wife and her mother. Spidey and Cat come to blows outside arguing over the merits of what she's done. However in the struggle Black Cat starts to fall off a roof into a surging river below. Spidey catches her with his bad arm, trying to stop her fall... but can't hold on as Felicia seemingly falls to her death. He tries to return to the Hardy residence, only to see Felicia's mother in grief over the death of her husband. Not wanting to add to it... Spidey leaves.

Of course, this isn't the end for Felicia, issue #204 sees the Black Cat return. She's actually been watching him it seems, taking photos of him swinging around town. They get reacquainted at the museum where Cat manages to slip away again after another fight with Spider-Man. Felicia is annoyed though that he keeps fighting her, not understanding why she's doing this. And by the next issue it's revealed, the art pieces Felicia stole were meant to symbolize what she thinks of Spidey. Namely, that she has developed a crush on him. No doubt because, despite trouncing him almost every time they've fought, she's clearly enjoyed all of it. And Spidey hasn't exactly helped in that regard as he has routinely flirted with her. He can't help it, she is hot. Felicia claims she wants to leave thieving behind, at the behest of her mother and she would like Spider-Man to help her reform. Seeing a similarity to a current situation with a girl he's instructing, and that Felicia might be suffering a bit of a mental break as a result of her father's death, he promises to get her help.

These introductory stories set the stage for Felicia and Peter's on again off again relationship for years to come. Felicia is self-servingly selfish, desiring things that aren't hers. Yet her motives are more complicated than pure greed, it is always based somewhat around her emotional state. Her need to give her father and mother some closure before she passes, her desire for Spider-Man to lead her out of a life of crime, as per her mother's wishes. She isn't evil, she has noble intent, she just goes about it in very self-centered ways. Spidey, in the meantime, is selfless to a fault. He'll keep chasing her down, he'll keep trying to set her straight, keep trying to stop her crime sprees. He is drawn to her by his selflessness and sense of responsibility to prevent her from just getting away with whatever she wants. But he does genuinely want to help her and he will not take advantage of her fragile emotional state, even if he himself is somewhat into her. Hell, the first thing he thinks about when he first sees her is that he hopes she isn't a criminal because he'd like to ask her out. He is clearly drawn to Felicia, even if it only starts out as pure infatuation, but he will not take advantage of her interest in him because he knows better than to try to exploit that for his own self-interest.

Of course it's a lie, well partially. Felicia faked being crazy to more easily escape a psychiatric hospital than a prison. But she is indeed in love with him. After her escape, she invites Spidey to a masquerade ball via a sky writer. Ultimately revealing that she lied to him about her mental breakdown in a selfish bid to escape consequences for her actions. But she wants to make up for it now, because this masquerade ball is being hosted by mafioso she stole from and says Spidey can now arrest them all! Crime is too easy she thinks, superheroing is her next thrill seeking adventure and she wants to do it with him. And despite being tricked and more than a little bribed into this, Spider-Man decides ultimately why not give it a try? If she really does want to go straight for him... isn't the responsible thing to do with her to help her out even if her motives are a tiny bit selfish?

This is how their romance starts and sets up the ultimate tug of war dynamic. Spider-Man does want Black Cat, but is wary of her desire to push him into a more selfish mindset. Black Cat actually desires Spider-Man, but can't get over her compulsive selfishness. In this story alone she has to sort of trick Spider-Man into coming to a date that's actually a mafioso party that he can break up. It's a highly manipulative plan that appeals to her selfish infatuation and Spider-Man's selfless heroism. It is a constant push and pull between them at multiple points. By all accounts, they should not work and a good deal of comics past this point go on and on about why they can't work.

I could cover the lengthy relationship between both characters throughout the 80s, Spidey was actually dating Felicia for a long time during the Black Suit days, even after he gave up the Symbiote. And for the most part this dynamic does not entirely change. Peter wants to help Black Cat be a better person before he can truly commit to her. Felicia wants to be a better person and make things work with Spider-Man, but she has a hard time wrapping her head around selfless action over selfish indulgence. It's the roadblock between them truly working as a couple. And there are a ton of moments during this time period I could talk about, but frankly, they are ALL before my time.

None of them really prove my point either, all I've done is just explain why their dynamic as a couple is riveting. It's not exactly like Batman and Catwoman's, but its of a similar vein. The key difference is Spider-Man, being who he is, isn't as opposed to the idea at first as Bruce is with Selina. Catwoman plays a lot harder to get for a lot longer than Black Cat, she also doesn't become Batman's superhero partner. Felicia and Peter by contrast are much younger though, so their reasoning is frankly more in line with their age demographic. They're just quicker to jump in than most people. The only thing holding them back is Black Cat and Spidey's diametrically opposed ideologies, even though we'll see those two viewpoints somewhat crisscross soon enough.

If you want to know however where I actually came in on this, we need to hop over to another universe. The one firmly positioned in the decade that defines the pop cultural wasteland... the 90s.

In an effort to compete with DC's Batman cartoon, Marvel fast tracked a Spider-Man show into production. While not on the same technical/narrative level as the landmark Batman: The Animated Series, Spider-Man: The Animated Series still did a tremendous job at capturing the essence of the character and is still a good series in its own. Even on a recent rewatch, I was surprised to see how well-thought out and true to form the series was. Yes, it's overuse of repeated animation and various other shortcuts was annoying, it certainly wasn't perfect, even by 90s standards, but it deserves recognition where it counts. Part of that was, in my opinion, the dynamic between Felicia and Peter Parker/Black Cat and Spider-Man. It certainly wasn't a slamdunk, I'm going to talk about where the writers fumbled it, but when it worked it worked and I think those parts where it worked so well were what cemented the idea in my head that this relationship, fraught as it was, COULD become something everlasting.

There's no hiding that Felicia's story is completely different from the comics. She actually knows Peter to begin with before she even becomes the Black Cat. They actually date for a while and despite the fact Peter is poorer than dirt, she is clearly interested in him and remains so for a good portion of season one. Peter's first kiss in the series is Felicia in fact. Even when MJ is in the picture, Peter is still torn between her and Felicia.

You might think we're dealing with a Betty and Veronica situation, but it never really materializes as such. Felicia and MJ never really meet this early and Felicia herself isn't really the rich girl stereotype. She's not particularly girlish or whinny. She doesn't really look down on anyone for their status. In fact she more often than not tries to rebel against the stereotype. She does a lot of charity work, she shows concern for the good of New York's citizens and she gives credit to those who deserve it, not just because they flatter her. She also gives Peter a lot of chances despite seemingly screwing up with her. She is reluctant at first to go out with him, but is not embarassed to be seen with him. The issue that arises is, from her perspective, Peter is never around when she gets in major trouble... but Spider-Man is. This become important later, but the thing to note is she is still close friends with Peter for a good amount of time and shows an interest in hm.

The only reason Felicia doesn't get with Peter is, again, Peter's terrible luck as a result of his responsibilities as Spider-Man. He accidentally stands Felicia up one too many times and she... ugh... ends up falling for Michael Morbius. Yes... that Morbius. No, we're not doing the meme. I only bring it up here because its one of the flaws in the show, Morbius as Felicia's love interest feels so incredibly out of place. It exists purely to prevent Felicia and Peter from getting together because nothing about it works. Morbius is hardly charming, he's somewhat of a creep, he's rude, abrasive and his petty rivalry with Peter just makes him unlikable. Its this petty bullshit rivalry, in fact, that causes Morbius' transformation into a Vampire monster in this continuity. Peter tries to claim responsibility for it because it was caused with his radioactive blood, but Morbius was an asshole and did it to himself. He's at fault and he sucks... pun not intended, not entirely. But because he's doing all this to stop a plague in his home country, and he saves Felicia this one time when Peter doesn't show, we're supposed to buy that she's smitten with him. And I do not buy it. In fact, I'd argue the show's writers didn't even buy it and were somewhat forced to do this so they wouldn't step on the iconic romance with Peter and MJ.

Morbius' subsequent flight into exile, as he basically becomes a mutant bat monster, starts an ongoing subplot with Felicia, the fact she has seemingly terrible luck with men. Early on, after Morbius has left her life, Felicia begins to develop a crush on Spider-Man, as at this point he's been there for her more than most other men in her life, saving her or her mother. Spider-Man, as a result, has become a very huge constant staple in her life, more so than any other man as far she can see. Peter, despite his messy love life, does care for Felicia, and is very quick to jump in to help her whenever she is in trouble. Partially because of his connection to her, partly because he still blames himself for Morbius' transformation. So Peter is spending a lot of time as Spider-Man with Felicia at this point, more so than MJ even who is dating Harry Osborn for a while. As far as Felicia is concerned, Spider-Man has become something akin to a knight in shining armor who is always there for her. She can't help but fall for him.

She reveals this by suddenly kissing him on the balcony, pulling up the mask half-way and everything. Peter, however, says he can't reciprocate, as much as he probably still has feelings for Felicia. He says he can't have a girlfriend though because it would put her in danger. It's bunk of course, he's still trying to be with MJ even though she's currently with Harry, but I imagine it plants an idea in Felicia's head. Regardless, for now she's crestfallen and this leads her into the arms of another man, Jason Phillips Macendale, a rich well to do playboy-type. Even still, she retains her feelings Spider-Man throughout their relationship. There is a scene at a carnival where Jason wins a stuffed Spider for her, which she remarks she finds spiders cute while he acts rather annoyed and jealous over it. Despite the fact she very clearly still wants Spidey to be with her, Felicia does agree to marry Jason when he proposes.

At the engagement party, which Peter attends with MJ as she has dumped Harry at this point, he changes into Spider-Man to spy on the Kingpin and Osborn over some business with the Hobgoblin. Annoyed he has to leave MJ to deal with this problem, he's interrupted by Felicia.

She asks if he's here to wish her good luck and Peter fumbles his words in saying as much. Which leads to this exchange:

Spidey: Do you really love this Jason Phillips guy?

Felicia: And why should you care about that? Unless you got a better offer?

Spidey: (Thoughts) This is crazy, I can't have one girlfriend as Peter Parker and another as Spider-Man! (Speaking) No, I don't... I just want you to be happy.

As Spidey swings away, Felicia mournfully says "So do I." It's a very clear statement, she's settling. Jason is rich and powerful and the person she's expected to marry due to who she is, but she's not really sure about it, or happy. Because the man she wants is currently swinging away. It's obvious that, in Felicia's eyes, she's missing something in her life that makes her happy and Spider-Man seems to be that something. Likewise, Peter, the paragon of self-responsibility, knows he can't abuse his secret identity to cheat on MJ, even though he seems very tempted to admit that he still has feelings for Felicia. But in the end, all he cares about is her happiness and if she can find it in this Jason dude, who is he to ruin that?

Well, he doesn't have to ruin it. Because we find out, shock of all shocks, Jason is the Hobgoblin and the revelation shakes Felicia to her core. The fact that this person she was dating, this man who she decided on because she couldn't have Spider-Man was a fraud, a criminal, a liar... it's a terrible thing to realize how poor your judgment is. Almost reaffirming that this was the wrong choice from the start.

Spidey of course once again comes swinging to her rescue and defeats the Hobgoblin. But Felicia has questions for her former fiancé. Jason relents that he used crime to create everything he is and get everything he has, including her. She's just another possession to him. What she deep down probably feared going into this, why her heart wasn't in this, why she wanted Spider-Man to give her a way out and save her again.

Felicia: I have to know, did you ever really love me?

Jason: I don't know. I love things about you. Your wealth, your beauty, your refinement.

Felicia: That's not love! I've experienced true love... and it's nothing like that.

And we don't get a flashback to Morbius, as this show constantly does because it's very not subtle, we don't see her talk about bat boy at all. She looks directly at Spider-Man as she says this and the camera zooms in on him as she speaks those words. This overtly informs the audience what love means in Felicia's mind. Love in Felicia's mind is being there for someone, who Spider-Man has been for a long time now. And more importantly, it's about wanting that person to be happy, which was all Spider-Man said he ever wanted. Spidey never asked anything of Felicia, he was just there for her and perhaps, in Felicia's mind, the reason he can't return it is because she can't be there in the same way. She is after all a damsel who he needs to keep saving and Spider-Man made it an issue that they can't be together because she'd be in danger.

In fact, this incident has given Felicia a complex that alludes to her future. "Every time I give my heart to someone, disaster strikes!" She sobs to Spider-Man. "I'm like a Black Cat spreading bad luck to everyone who crosses my path! Including my own."

By the next season things have taken a turn for the tragic, Mary Jane has vanished into realms unknown after mirroring Gwen Stacey's fall from a bridge into an interdimensional portal. As far as Peter knows though she's just gone, maybe forever. They can't say dead on this show, you know how it is.

This would probably leave the door back open for Felicia, but Peter is in no mental condition for another relationship right now and Felicia is smitten with Spider-Man, not Peter. Although he does wonder if she could help him with his grief as he swings over to her apartment. Not to say she doesn't care for Peter, but her heart belongs to his masked vigilante persona. In fact, so much so that she proclaims that Spider-Man is the only good thing in her life during that same visit. (Granted this is after an attack by Doctor Octopus, but the point stands) It's obvious that Felicia is now clinging to Spider-Man as one of the few constants in her life at this point, what with repeatedly being placed in danger by monsters and maniacs. The lack of control and helplessness is eating at her terribly.

However, this does lead into what we've all been waiting for, Felicia's transformation into the Black Cat and the start of the multi-episode season storyline, "Partners in Danger."

Felicia's father isn't just a cat burglar anymore. It turns out he got a peek at the formula for the Super Soldier serum back in WW2. He was almost tricked into giving it to the Nazis but managed to evade them. He was a kid at the time and was on the run for several decades. He's been in SHIELD custody for the past few years, until now when the Chameleon breaks him out only to hand him over to the Kingpin. Soon after, Doctor Octopus kidnaps Felicia and brings him to Fisk to reunite her with her father. And basically blackmail her into performing crimes for Fisk to test out the Super Soldier formula.

Yes, the Black Cat in the 90s Animated Series is basically a super soldier thief. It is suggested its not a complete process, but it grants Felicia more capability than she used to have. As the Black Cat she's now stronger, faster, more agile, versatile and has heightened senses. She's basically a mini-Captain America sans shield and a less patriotic aesthetic. Also, the Serum allows her to completely alter herself, her hair turns white and grows longer, while she also becomes more ripped and taller. This is so people won't really recognize her, an important detail for later.

While it's obvious Felicia hates being forced to go along with this to protect her father, she doesn't hate the new powers she's been granted and seeks to use them to eventually turn the tables on Fisk and save her dad. However, for the time being she gets in more than a few scrapes with Spider-Man, one of which leaves him knocked out in front of her. She considers pulling off his mask, but decides against it, preferring him to do it for her himself. She does plant a kiss though, the first of many as the Black Cat. The sequence is clear, Felicia is no longer the damsel but Spider-Man's equal and she hopes that this means things can change.

True, Felicia still gets into trouble and Spider-Man has to save her before the episode is out, but they actually do come together as partners by the end and effectively work together to defeat Fisk and save her father. Sadly, he has to return to SHIELD custody, of his own free will, to prevent the secrets he knows from ever getting out. I'd kinda like to to think they would give him a more witness protection situation than imprisonment for the guy, even if he did become a thief. It's SHIELD though, it's kinda expected they don't always do the sensible thing.

However this sets up the dynamic for the next few episodes as Black Cat and Spider-Man work together more and more. Spider-Man is reluctant at first, still mourning Mary Jane, but Black Cat manages to shake him out of that stupor. Reminding him not to close himself off in his grief. And Spidey himself remarks, as he and Black Cat work together, that he's actually having fun for once as Spider-Man. This is something to keep in mind, Black Cat actually challenges Spider-Man more often than not throughout their time together. Pushing him to remember why he does this job, stopping his pity parties cold, reminding him to not see his power as a burden that he so often does and as a gift he uses to help people. Even if she's not the same self-serving Felicia from the comics, as the Black Cat she embraces the liberated self her persona grants her. She's finally being able to do the things that her position as a rich socialite kept from her. Her stance is that Spider-Man can afford to think about what he wants and what makes him happy as much as his own responsibilities.

Frankly, it gets through to Peter. As time goes on, Spider-Man becomes more receptive to the idea that he should move on from MJ and be with Black Cat, a fellow crime fighter, on his level who can look after herself as much as him. This has been the problem Spider-Man has faced for a while, being able to protect the people he cares about despite his powers seemingly always getting in the way. In the same vein, Felicia's newfound abilities enable her to be Spidey's equal. Allowing her the opportunity to see him as a person and not just the superhero who saves her. This gives her the ability to challenge, as well as compliment him, as pointed out.

Their dynamic frankly rings more true and honest as a relationship. Even MJ never pushed Peter in the same way Black Cat pushes Spidey to be better. That's not to say MJ was a bad girlfriend, but on the show... she frankly resembled the comics version of Gwen Stacey personality wise. Black Cat may have been in love with Spider-Man, but that never stopped her from telling him off when he got something wrong. She had her own opinions and views on how this relationship worked and despite clashing with Spidey, they always seemed to be getting closer and more intimate every time she crossed his path.

That is until the goddamn Vampire comes back and ruins it all, because Felicia still has feelings for Morbius, I guess. In fact, he comes back so soon and suddenly, just as Peter is thinking of committing to Black Cat as Spider-Man, that it again feels like a mandate from on high. They're getting too close to each other, we can't have that, break them up by making Morbius a thing again. And quite frankly it feels forced because the only thing that seemingly prevents Spidey and Cat from sealing the deal is that neither of them have guessed at who the other is.

This is despite the fact that the Black Cat is obviously Felicia, given her very close relationship with Felicia's father that she doesn't even try to hide at all during her introductory episode. But Spidey has been consistently dense when it comes to secret identities, he couldn't even figure out Matt Murdock and Daredevil were the same person under similar circumstances. Using excuses THAT HE HIMSELF USES to cover his ass as Spider-Man. For being so smart, Peter is incredibly slow on the uptake when it comes to guessing Black Cat's identity despite how damn obvious it is. Not that Felicia is honestly much better, as both before and after this there are a number of clues to Spidey's true identity. Like... she kissed Peter AS Peter, she should know that mouth!

But the fact is, and this is where the forced editorial mandate thing comes in, that if they ever found out who the other was... that would be the end for any possible Peter and MJ relationship at this point. Felicia would finally realize why Peter seemed to never be around when she was in trouble, it's because he was Spider-Man. And given that Felicia's reasoning for being in love with Spider-Man is, again, the fact she feels he's always been there for her, she'd realize her most long standing intimate REAL relationship was with Peter all along! Peter in turn would realize that Felicia, the girl he first had a crush on, the one he was most conflicted about getting with before MJ vanished, a person he still has strong feelings for, is also the person who taught him to love again after MJ vanished. A friend he cares about who is now on his level and has also been there for him! There would be no way they couldn't get together at that point, or at the very least it would be very hard for Peter to decide between her and MJ from then on.

But no, the adventure with the returned Morbius leads to Felicia deciding to go with the creep Mutant Vampire and Blade to hunt other vampires and leave Spider-Man behind, just as he was about to be with her. Of course, Peter doesn't put two and two together that Cat is leaving with Morbius because as established he's an idiot when it comes to this stuff. If he was smarter, he'd have figured it out right now and probably revealed himself to her, and that would create a conflict and probably make her question this frankly boneheaded and nonsensical decision. So no, Felicia and Peter never find out each other's secret identities and she goes off with Morbius leaving Peter alone for no really good reason other than this felt like the fastest way to break them up so MJ could slide back in.

And MJ does slide back in, not long after this episode in fact and Spider-Man quickly fast tracks to proposing to her, revealing his secret identity, the works. However, Felicia isn't out of his life as MJ still keeps getting into trouble, constantly. At the wedding, Black Cat returns to make sure Peter's big day doesn't get ruined, because she does care about Peter even if she isn't with him. She does this again when MJ is seemingly kidnapped, first comforting Peter as Felicia reassuring him during a moment of hopelessness and then becoming Black Cat again to track down MJ for Peter.

And she admits aloud that she's doing this because she doesn't think she made the right call to follow Morbius and Blade, she still has feelings for Spidey, even though he's loyal and committed to MJ. Again, Felicia does not put two and two together given how gung-ho Spidey is for finding MJ. This also marks the only time MJ and the Black Cat meet, it's very quick, Peter has to answer a few obvious questions. After all that, Felicia decides to head back to Transylvania and once again Peter doesn't put two and two together that Felicia and Black Cat are back in town right at the same time. Because he's stupid like that.

What's important to note is that Felicia will drop everything for Peter, which suggests to me, on some subconscious level, she knows who Spider-Man is. And the fact she's still playing mental support coach to Peter, even outside of their secret identities, speaks volumes for their bond and connection. Even outside of the Black Cat persona and without directly knowing it, Felicia is there for Spider-Man when he needs her, just as much as he was for her.

But of course, all of this is for naught concerning Mary Jane's fate. Because... this is not Mary Jane. This hasn't been Mary Jane since she returned at the end of last season and conclusion of "Partners in Danger." Because we've been doing a random ass Clone Saga deal this whole time! This MJ, the one Peter married, shared his secrets with, probably most likely banged... wasn't his MJ. She was a clone created by Miles Warren who can use frickin water powers like Hydro Man because Hydro Man is an asshole ex who is obsessed with MJ and wanted his own version of her. But she wandered off, blah blah blah, point is her clone stability is breaking down and she's gonna evaporate. Cue one of the most gut wrenching screams in animation history.

So yeah, Peter never got the real Mary Jane back, only to be set up for heartache all over again. One could argue he probably loved this Mary Jane more. Sure he thought she was the original, but everything he experienced with her were steps he was unwilling to take with the real one. Similar to how Felicia has been feeling conflicted, one has to imagine Peter is even more so at this point on several other levels. Not that he has much time to mourn though. Madame Web has returned after a long absence from the series and she has war for him to fight, a Secret War.

In a very loose adaptation of the original Marvel Comics Event, Spider-Man is tasked by the Beyonder to lead a team of superheroes to liberate a planet that has fallen to villains he's plucked from Earth. This becomes a bit of a crossover between pretty much every Fox Entertainment Marvel Cartoon running at the time. From X-Men to Iron Man to the Fantastic Four, not Hulk though, Hulk rights are always a problem. But even after he's picked all the heroes he can afford to recruit, like any Gamer he can't resist modding shit to give him more stuff. And of all the heroes and allies he could pick to increase his ranks... he chooses the Black Cat.

It's a fairly odd choice honestly. Spidey has worked with a lot of heroes, maybe not as extensively as the Black Cat, but he's fought beside Doctor Strange, he knows other X-Men who are on Storm's level or at least just as capable. But he picks Black Cat. He picks her despite knowing that Madame Web knows the Real Mary Jane's location and promises it as a reward if he helps her. He picks Black Cat, despite knowing she is currently with Morbius and Blade. Makes one wonder... why?

Felicia isn't happy with this herself, because she just got pulled away in the middle of a vampire slaying fight. Don't worry, they're fine. It's Blade he'll manage without her.

...

What? Oh Morbius, yeah I guess he'll survive too just by being in close proximity to Blade. Have I mentioned I hate Morbius?

Anyway, the point is Black Cat is none too happy get pulled into Spidey's adventures against her will, like he can just do that on a whim. She's kinda right to be angry at him and she is for a good portion of the episode. When Spidey explains he picked her because he needs her support and they work good as a team, Felicia rightly says that he can't just rip her away from things because he needs to hold her hand. She'll be more than willing to do so on her own, he doesn't need to ask, he just shouldn't force her. It's a surprising role reversal, with Spider-Man being a bit more selfish than usual and Black Cat outwardly demanding to know when Spider-Man is gonna grow up. A question many comics fans wonder themselves to this day.

Spider-Man's ultimate ulterior motives are a bit more obvious though when he gets pretty jealous over Captain America and Black Cat bonding over her having the super soldier serum. And it doesn't help that Cap keeps kinda outshining him constantly when he saves Felicia a few times. But to be fair, Steve Rogers does that with everyone.

After the mission that topples the Red Skull ends, Spidey does apologize for taking Felicia against her will into this war. But she's no longer angry. Taking part in a mission bigger than even vampire slaying is important, a big deal, and if there is one thing Felicia has wanted its to not be left out of a fight for something bigger than herself. Plus, she get's to do it beside the greatest hero of all time. Spidey thinks she means Cap, but she corrects him, she's talking about the Web Head. Despite not being as perfect as Captain America, Spider-Man did prove himself out there as a leader to her and she admits she wouldn't want to miss this action with him for anything. Despite not wanting to be here initially, Felicia ultimately can't get over the fact Spider-Man wanted HER here with him. And given their last meeting had him coldly rejecting her advances, it says to Felicia that Spidey still feels for her and she clearly does too. Black Cat then kisses Spider-Man... and it's the last kiss he'll ever receive in the series. That's right, Peter's first and last kisses on this show come from Felicia. How do you not expect anyone to read into that?

No matter what lame line Morbius tries to give at the end of the episode, Felicia's heart doesn't really belong to him. It is very evident, crystal clear, painfully obvious, to anyone paying attention, that Felicia and Peter, on this series at the very least, were specially connected. Maybe not at first, but Felicia became someone who could match Spider-Man, physically and mentally, in many ways. And it's undeniable that, regardless of anything else, Peter held feelings for both Felicia and her Super Thief persona. Their banter was perfect, their partnership was top notch, the chemistry was amazing. The only thing keeping them apart was a story writing mandate from on high that they could not be endgame. Even though the writers took every chance they could nab to put them together. To shove Felicia back into Peter's life, even after she went off Slaying it up with Morbius. When I rewatched the series, it became painfully obvious who the writers seemed to prefer Peter with. None of this is to knock MJ as a character, on this show or in the comics, but it's hard for me to buy that there wasn't some kind of bias towards Felicia given everything that happens in this show.

Or maybe they just wanted an excuse to keep bringing Jennifer Hale back, I don't know! But I still choose to think that someone on that writing staff wanted a different endgame. It's been known to happen, creative teams aren't immune to shipping. Avatar the Last Airbender apparently had an ongoing tug of war between the executive producers and some of the writers over whether Katara would pick Zuko or Aang. It honestly feels like something similar happened here and as a result it comes across as the best evidence in my mind that this relationship could work. And the insane reality that less than a decade after Spider-Man TAS concluded, a show that did everything to ensure Spider-Man never got with the Black Cat because Peter/MJ were too iconic to not happen... One More Day drops and Peter has barely been with MJ for more than a single run out of several writers since. Said single writer being Nick Spencer, the Hydra Cap guy! Possibly in an effort to redeem himself from being the Hydra Cap Guy.

But I digress, as one can plainly see concerning this short retrospective of the series above, the 90s Cartoon has been over for a long time. Next year, it will be thirty years old. I can point out how it could've worked in that show, but that does nothing to prove Felicia and Peter ever have a chance now. All it shows is that I have a nostalgic attachment to this pairing because of an animated series. One with a highly different set of canonical circumstances between Spidey and the Black Cat that were crafted uniquely for this show alone. Circumstances that are worlds apart from the comics.

And that's because, as loathe as I am to admit it, Peter and Felicia's relationship has always had roadblocks in every piece of media involving them before and since. And I would be remiss if I didn't address any of those before I can start proving its viability now. If I don't I'll just have to do it later anyway. We'll look at how SpiderCat appears in other works as we go through this, but we need to head back to comic book land if we're really going to lay down what's actually keeping these two apart, and it's not the very weak contrivances preventing them from figuring out the obvious like in the 90s cartoon. No, it goes deeper than that. As you can see here.

90s Felicia wanted Spidey to unmask for her, but Comics!Felicia has had a hang up about that for a long while. This is the crux, the problem, with their relationship. The thing that always comes up when SpiderCat shippers argue for it. Comics!Black Cat loves Spider-Man... not Peter Parker. And mixing the two is too much for her to bare. This is what put strain on their relationship, Felicia didn't want her fantasy ruined by knowing the man behind the mask. Peter being an ordinary guy shatters her illusions about his prowess and ability. The phrase "Anyone can wear the mask" comes to mind and as long as Peter wears it for the Black Cat that is true. Take it off and Peter's normality leaks into things.

As a result, the main problem is Felicia can't love a man like Peter, who has a normal life outside of his superheroing. Felicia doesn't want normal, she likes what she is, who she is, doesn't want to go back to it. She wants to be the Black Cat because as the Cat she can do and get whatever she wants. Peter is, again, weighed down by responsibilities. While Felicia, once again, desires her independence from everything, including responsibility. Felicia would rather Spider-Man give up being Peter and just be the hero who swept her off her feet full time. To forever chase her across the rooftops and do what they want whenever they want. She's fine if that means fighting bad guys... so long as they're not tied down to normality. But Peter can't do that, he can never do that, not as long as he has ties to his life as Peter. And that's probably why Wells is considering severing a pretty big tie to that in order to make sure SpiderCat can't be reversed so easily. Can't really blame him for that though, given how comics are in constant flux. (Remember This)

This sort of issue is constantly reinforced. In the Spider-Man 2 video game, based off the Sam Raimi sequel, The "Spidey's loss of his powers" sub-plot is replaced by Black Cat trying to seduce him away into forever crime-fighting as his relationship with Mary Jane becomes strained due to her upcoming marriage to Jonah Jameson's son. Their dynamic matches the comics pretty well... and that means Spidey eventually breaks it off with her, saying he can't abandon his real life to forever play superhero with her. He needs a balance and that means he can't see her anymore. She leaves amicably, but it's sad to see happen.

In the Spider-Man: Web of Shadows game, Black Cat is revealed to still have feelings for Spider-Man and wants to be back together with him. This is pretty bad timing given the symbiote invasion going on. As the game is using the then popular trend of multiple choice endings there is one where you can have Black Cat be with Spider-Man at the end. It requires you basically healing her after a fight with your black suit, turning her into a Venomized version of herself. You can still pick the good ending after this where you defeat the Symbiotes, but all you know for sure is that MJ and him are on quits. You only see Felicia again if you pick the bad ending where Spider-Man breaks bad fully and decides to lead a symbiote army with Felicia by his side. Further emphasizing the idea that Peter can't pick being with Felicia without abandoning everything that makes him who he is.

There's also Spectacular Spider-Man, the other beloved Spider-Man animated series. Shorter-lived, but just as impactful. Where Spidey and Black Cat seem to hit it off during the start of Peter's whole symbiote storyline. Their banter is great, the chemistry fits, Felicia and Pete seem destined to be star-crossed opposite sides of the law lovers. However, when they meet up again Felicia is breaking her father out as she usually does... but the twist this time is Felicia's father is the one who shot Uncle Ben.

Naturally this completely wrecks any goodwill concerning Black Cat and Spidey's second meeting. As from here on out he's adamant Felicia's dad is not getting out. While it turns out Dad doesn't want to leave either and he decides to sacrifice his chance at freedom to stop a mass jailbreak of supervillains, that changes little. Spider-Man does not forgive Felicia's father and Felicia blames Spider-Man for infecting her dad with sentimentality. Even knowing he took an innocent life, all Felicia sees is her dad rotting away in jail. She declares she'll never forgive Spider-Man for this and rushes off in anger. The series ended shortly thereafter and this was never resolved. Greg Weisman, the show's creator, says if it had continued the relationship would've been "fraught." And once again this is the typical line concerning the fact Felicia's selfish desires run up against Spider-Man's heroic responsibility. And letting a criminal get away, especially one that killed his Uncle, is just something he can't do.

And I could go on, there are a ton of examples of this very problematic element of the relationship. It's the thing Marvel has consistently used to explain why Peter and Felicia aren't the right fit. Any romance would require either character to make sacrifices they are incapable of. Namely Felicia's independence and Peter's Responsibilities. Marvel itself decided to set this in stone to a degree with the usual question they ask... "What If?"

"What if... Spider-Man Married the Black Cat?" is the second part of a longer What If storyline answering what would happen if Peter and MJ did not get married. (HA! After OMD, one cannot help but laugh!) And as much as that cover paints wedded bliss... it's anything but. Felicia and Peter come to blows repeatedly, unable to reconcile their differences. Their goals are far too distant from each other overall and they just can't find common ground. By the end of the issue, Felicia lies dead, Spider-Man heart broken and the grim reality that this romance could never work is cemented in stone it seems. "What Ifs" aren't definitive statements about the only possible outcomes for the Marvel universe. But they are definitive statements from Marvel itself, a decree from on high that the current continuity, for all its faults, could be so much worse and we should be happy for what we have. And while the issue is loaded with nice panels that any SpiderCat fan would adore, the end result is still plain as day. Felicia and Peter are too oil and water to ever mix. And the end result would be the destruction of one or both.

How do you overcome the dreadful reality that your ship is declared doomed forever by the very company that in some sense set it in motion? Not just because Spider-Man can never be happy, but because the Black Cat is just too toxic a girlfriend to ever truly make him happy. Everyone argued that MJ and Peter's marriage was boring but they didn't want him to get with the next best option either because they think it's non-compatible, that they're just too different and of opposing thoughts to ever reach common ground.

And Marvel has tried to permanently set that in stone in canon once. To forever place SpiderCat as beyond possible, to sever their connection as decades long allies... and all because of an octopus in the brain.

The image above is not that of Peter Parker fighting the Black Cat. This is Doctor Otto Octavius, piloting Peter's body after jacking his mind. This is the Superior Spider-Man, and he does not care about Peter's past infatuations. He's here to prove he's the better Spider-Man and that means apprehending all criminals. In an otherwise re-affirming storyline that proves Peter Parker is the true Superior Spider-Man, Otto failing to live up to his lofty ambitious boasts, this scene... this one bloody scene, leads to the absolute low point period for all SpiderCat Fans. I call it the "Bitch Be Crazy" Era, an offensive title for a frankly offensively disgusting sub-plot in the Spider Run post-Superior.

Peter Parker informs all his Superhero buddies that Doc Ock had taken over his body for a long time, explaining his shitty behavior for the past year or so. Most everyone's response is "Oh, yeah, that's obvious in hindsight." Not Felicia.

The tables have turned, now Felicia has broke bad, but for real. And there is no way to describe what she becomes but extremely out of character. She doesn't accept Spider-Man's explanation, she doesn't even care. She is now obsessed with becoming the next Kingpin of Crime, a murderous, merciless mob boss who pulls the strings of supervillains, all in a bid to destroy Spider-Man and all he holds dear and it's absolutely, completely, stupidly, idiotically terrible. No matter how selfish Felicia can be, this is NOT her. Felicia has never shown any desire to be a crime boss, to be feared. Her desires have always been thrill seeking, shiny things and not being told what she can and can't do. She might be violent, but she is not a cold-blooded killer. She might be cynical, but she is not this petty. Every element of this terrible subplot makes no sense unless she's absolutely lost her mind or been replaced by a Skrull.

The only fun thing in this whole mess, was that Gwenpool's first in-universe story took place during this sub-plot and she crossed paths with her. And then did this.

I guess that justifies putting a Gwenpool tag below somewhere. Win for me!

Suffice to say, no one liked this change. Everyone hated it, even more than Superior Spider-Man. People came around on that, no one liked Felicia the Big Black Cat of Crime. Dan Slott could never justify it because it made no sense that Felicia would care this much about street cred because Spider-Man beat her up. As if there isn't a single crook in New York at this point who can claim Spider-Man hasn't knocked out one of their teeth. Others tried to explain it, to give it a more sensible face. There was an explanation in the Silk comic, but it didn't really stick as something that would drive her to this extreme. Regardless, it was a dark time for SpiderCat Shipping Fandom. And it took way longer than it should've to fix it all.

But it did get fixed and that brings me the counter to ALL of this stuff that stands in Peter and Felicia's way. And that is that no matter how much things stay the same, comics always inevitably change and so do the characters in them. We like to pretend that the way we see a lot of the characters in comics now has just always been them. But no, they're not. Batman used to carry a gun in his early days, Superman didn't always fly, Captain America, a WW2 Veteran, claimed he never killed anyone for a short time, Deadpool didn't always break the 4th Wall and Starlord used to be a lot more of a straight edged serious space hero and not a rock music lovin' dancin' fool of a rogue Han Solo. Tastes change, writers change, people change... and so has Felicia.

Felicia hasn't always been honest with Peter, she's tricked him into chasing her, played him to get away with a score, gotten superpowers from Kingpin in an effort to keep up with him which led to their first break up, she even dated Flash Thompson trying to make him jealous. But if one thing has been consistent, it's that Felicia can't help but cross back into Peter's life. And in the process, because she cares, even loves him, there are things she's had to accept, to admit to. And chief among them is Peter Parker is Spider-Man and Peter Parker's life is as if not more important to him than just being Spider-Man. She hasn't only loved Spider-Man for years at this point, for a long time. She loves both. and she is willing to accept both. If there is any problem, it's Peter accepting Felicia for who she is... which is a better person than even she gives herself credit for.

Spider-Man wouldn't be partnering up with Felicia so often if he didn't believe there was more to her than just a shallow thief. And the influence has affected Felicia, she's admitted as much. Maybe her shift to doing good was set off by a crush, but she owned that change and she kept pushing herself. She'll never have a strict moral compass, but she does know what the right choice is at the end of the day, what feels right. And when Spider-Man needs an ally, he can call on her as much as anyone. Spider-Man being in her life has only been a net positive for Felicia, Peter being with her has only been a net positive. And that brings us back to her time as a lame crime boss and how they fixed her. Because there's a better, deeper, actually meaningful reason for their schism besides Felicia's loss of street cred.

She forgot the man she loved and changed for.

Yep, we're factoring One More Day into this thing proper like. After an adventure with Venom and Spidey, dealing with some symbiote nonsense, Felicia is convinced to hash it out with the Wall Crawler. And she admits to him that she lost something, his face. When Spider-Man made the world forget who he was under the mask it affected Felicia too. All her memories, all the time spent with Peter post reveal, everything that she knew about the man behind the mask... it was either gone or in a fog. She can't remember all those times that Peter trusted her with who he was and it has been eating her up inside for years! And Spider-Man never thought about how that would affect her, a person he's loved, been intimate with, and at least now cares about. That was an important time in her life and it's just gone now. And it may be selfish to want all of it back and even demand it back... but she's right. Those memories were hers and Spidey took them away. And Spider-Man, being selfless as he is, can't just let that stand anymore.

Everyone says Felicia only loves Spider-Man, but that's not true. She may love the Spider... but she changed for the Man. She cherishes that time she had with that Man. And it's hard to believe that she doesn't love the Man as much as the Spider because, ultimately, they are the same person. That's the other difference between this and Bruce/Selina. Bruce Wayne is the mask for the boy who died in that alleyway, Batman is who he's been since that day. Peter and Spider-Man are the same person, it's why he can't leave either persona behind. And Felicia has long since accepted that, and that has never changed how she feels about him until she lost who he was beneath the mask. Now it's all back, the highs and lows of that tumultuous time in her life when she fell for a Spider and came to love the Man. It doesn't heal everything, but it repairs the bond that was broken so long ago and so unintentionally.

There is, however, another argument being floated around these days I have to address. That even if Felicia can accept the man beneath the mask, do either really NEED each other? I'd point to all the stuff above that shows how that's simply not true, but there's more to it than that. Love isn't always about what you need, it's just as much about what you want. And I'm not talking about a person or thing, not something material. What does Felicia want? What does Peter want?

Felicia wants to be more than what she is, always has been. She wants thrills, she wants to be her true self and I feel Spider-Man brings out those qualities more than any of her other boy or girlfriends, especially since he started her path to change and growth. She stops being selfish and reacts more selfless. His influence on her is undeniable and she knows as much as anyone. She'll never be a good girl, but she'll at least be a better one than she is without him in her life.

Peter wants to be at peace, to be happy with who he is, to not always feel burdened. Felicia has always been one of the ways he's released that burden, he's been happy with her. Sure he's been happy with others, but Felicia has met him on a level that none of them could, she's been able to be in the thick of it with him. She's been able to share the burden. She's been able to be an active participant. With her around, Peter's world as a superhero doesn't feel so lonely. And maybe, if Felicia could accept the man as much as it seems she has, so too could she accept Peter's regular life.

In Taylor Swift's song, Anti-Hero, she reflects on how exhausting for her it's been that she hasn't seemed to learn anything and keeps making the same mistakes over and over. And if you pay attention to the lyics enough, they start describing Felicia Hardy pretty well.

I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crisis (tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'Cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)

However, just as much of it can sorta apply to Spider-Man as well. His heroic selflessness is frankly a very long depressing slog of him being unable to forgive himself for letting down Uncle Ben, placing all the blame on his shoulders and then repeating that process whenever his great power can never live up to his great responsibility.

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving And life will lose all its meaning (For the last time)

When it comes to Spider-Man and the Black Cat, a lot of the things that make them unhappy are self-inflicted. Lewis Lovhaug of "Atop the Fourth Wall" Fame has argued that the problem with Spider-Man in a lot of modern stories is that he never learns from anything. He hasn't done enough to improve himself as Spider-Man or as Peter Parker, he just keeps feeling sorry for himself that one gets in the way of the other. And frankly, the same curse has affected Felicia. Because a lot of what has prevented her from being with Spider-Man has been herself. Ultimately both will, as the song says, always look towards the bright sun of what they think they want, but never in the mirror. They'll hurt themselves, never realizing that they're the source of their own dissatisfaction with how their lives are. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero, especially when its yourself.

Maybe Peter and Felicia don't need each other, but they do need someone to set them straight and get them to stop believing their own bullshit. To make them stare away from the sun and into the mirror. Because they are each exactly the kind of person who would do that for the other, in fact they've been doing it for as long as they've been together. Their bond is stronger than people give it credit for.

Early on in their relationship, Black Cat was badly injured and has to be rushed to a hospital. Helpless to really do anything, Peter could only stand by her bedside and hope she'd be okay again. For all his power, once more, he can't do anything but just stay with her. And actually, that's enough.

But come now, would Felicia ever do the same for Peter you ask? Well... during a recent story event, Spider-Man was badly injured and slips into a coma. But there was one person constantly by his side throughout it.

This isn't derogatory, Felicia is clearly lamenting the fact that someone so good who does everything so selflessly despite no thanks or praise, is so constantly placed into situations like this. It's unfair to her. It's why she's here now, like he was for her. And just like before...

It's Felicia who gets the first response out of him. Claim all you want that Felicia doesn't need Peter, that she's moved past him, that Peter and MJ are too perfect for each other, that the Black Cat can't ever settle down like Peter probably wants or that Peter can never really be there for Felicia in the way she wants. But I don't buy it. And stuff like this is why.

No matter how much bad luck she is, Spider-Man wants and in some ways needs the Black Cat is in his life. And no matter how much she can try and say she's over it, The Black Cat will always find a way to cross paths with her Spider.

In the recent PS4 Spider-Man game, Felicia came back after a stint of going straight to prepare for a major strike back against Hammerhead and the Maggia families. She coerces Spider-Man into another of her games where she steals $50 Million worth of stuff and forces him to chase her around the city to find it all. She leaves the loot behind though, because it was all trick to break into the police evidence lockup and snag her old gear. But she did leave Peter a cool new suit, a reference to the time when Felicia made a new black suit for Peter after giving up his symbiote. You know, so they match.

Felicia's little game comes to fruition when "The Heist" DLC comes out. Felicia strings Spidey along, pretending Hammerhead has her son, strongly implying its his. Ultimately this is revealed to have been a lie of course, another game. Because this, to Felicia, is basically the perfect date night. Spider-Man chases her, they team up, she gets what she wants and runs off into the night. In this case the entire wealth of the Maggia after double crossing Hammerhead. This gets a target on her back instantly. Spider calls her to warn her, leaving Felicia more than a little surprised.

Felicia: I just conned you and here you are trying to save me. How can you be so damn nice all the time?

Spidey: It's not about being nice, it's about doing the right thing! You have so many talents, I wish you'd use them to help someone other than yourself.

Felicia: Yeah well, you should know by now that's not how I roll.

Spidey: People can change, Felicia.

Felicia: Love you, Spider. I'll miss you.

Felicia's penthouse explodes and she appears to die. But eagle eyed players would notice the puff smoke just before the bomb goes off. The Black Cat fakes her death more than Doctor Doom uses robots. Felicia got away, scot-free, with all the money she could ever need or want. She conned Spider-Man, Hammerhead and everyone. She won hands down and can do whatever she wants from now on. No one will be looking for her. Hammerhead's plans to utilize weapons of war to take over the city isn't her problem.

And yet...

Felicia comes back to help Spider-Man, knowing it will basically put her on the radar again given everything she's stolen. She doesn't stay, but she saves him and gives him the means to take Hammerhead down. No matter what anyone thinks of Felicia, especially herself, she is not nearly as incapable of being selfless as one thinks. And this is true of most of her incarnations. Perhaps because the Black Cat will do anything to get what she wants, even if it means turning over a new leaf for her Spider. It's how this all started after all. Selfish Selflessness, it's probably the best middle ground Peter can hope for. But at least it means he can count on her, to be selfish. And that's why she'll always be there for him. Felicia doesn't like to lose the things she has.

I think it also says a lot that many players felt that Peter and Felicia's chemistry was loads more interesting and compelling than his relationship with the estranged version of MJ Spidey has to deal with. And frankly, Felicia being in those stealth sequences would've made a million times more sense. There are some who have even speculated, with no real proof mind you, that Felicia was lying about lying about having a son. That she DOES have one, he just wasn't in danger. But of course, that's unlikely. For the same reason Peter remains hung up on Mary Jane in this game despite the fact most players seem apathetic to them getting back together. Spider-Man being a father out of wedlock is something that Marvel is not really prepared to sign off on. Just as much as they resist him being with someone other than MJ in other media, despite not wanting him to be with her in the comics.

It all seems so arbitrary to me, that they just can't be together because of the iconography of Peter and MJ. Or because she can't love the man the Spider is, which isn't true. Or Spider-Man can't change her or trust her, which also isn't true. If there has ever been a more consistent, sustainable, supportive and bonded character to Peter Parker it has been Felicia Hardy. Romantically or platonically, Felicia has dropped things to be there for Peter. And the idea that they are toxic for each other has never rung true. People can change, and this romance proves it. They just need to be given the chance to do so, and have the right person along for the ride. And the forced separation feels more arbitrary when you take into consideration, that Marvel has kept MJ and Peter apart for over a decades worth of comics and has never bit the bullet on simply just letting Felicia and Peter be together until now.

Some have claimed the new romance is out of the blue, that Spencer was setting things up to undo OMD, and that Wells just pulled this off out of nowhere. Well... no. Because those scenes where Felicia brought Peter out of his coma, the re-unmasking, the re-entry into his life through a number of adventures... Spencer either wrote those himself or they were written in conjunction with his run. People have confirmation bias, I'm no different, I don't claim to be. However, everyone has wanted OMD to be undone since the storyline first concluded. Marvel has played with fans' heartstrings that it will do so and it has prevented Peter from moving on because if he's not in a committed sustainable relationship, there's always hope that Mephisto's deal will be undone! And it has not helped anyone in the slightest to keep buying that horse crap.

The fact is I'm honestly sick of this "will they won't they" garbage from Marvel on undoing One More Day and I think more people should be by this point. Let me make this perfectly clear, even if they undo the deal... they're not getting remarried. Marvel simply is not interested in going down that road for Spider-Man again. Even with the new Spider-Verse movie showing Peter B. with a kid. Because the problem has never been they won't let Peter be married to MJ. The problem is they won't let Peter grow. The problem is they won't let him move on and change. They stick him in a misery spin cycle and just never let him out.

Why not just end the charade? Let Peter grow. Let Felicia grow. They both already want to. They both already desire to. And they both have already done so for the other. Felicia has been there to challenge and push him, while also protecting and supporting him. And Peter has undeniably changed Felicia as a person. She may never have the same moral compass, but she's no longer as lost as she once was. Her selfish cynicism is kept in check when it comes to Peter. And his selfless self-destruction is held back thanks to Felicia. Why deny them the chance to both be truly happy? Especially when they make each other better people. Why deny chemistry that is so perfectly balanced in its contradiction?

I don't begrudge people for preferring Mary Jane being with Spider-Man. I'm more or less at peace with the reality that some pairings are just thought of as the default and nothing is really gonna change that. I prefer Rogue with Deadpool, that doesn't change the fact she'll always be with Gambit. What I wanted to stress with this isn't so much an argument to ship it so much as the ultimate reason I simply can't let these two go.

For me, SpiderCat speaks on some primal level, more than wish fulfillment, but the idea of growth. That love can hold you up in your worst moments, or change you for the better. That it can make you look in the mirror and ask, who do you want to be? What do you want? What is worth changing for? Felicia found her answer, a nerdy, selfless, eternally tormented wall-crawler, who should know better than to go chasing her trying to save her from herself... but does it anyway. How could she not return the favor and be there for him? It's hard to say whether he caught her in his web, or if she just loves walking across his path. What is certain is they are bonded to each other, in one way or another. And that's the only thing about either character that I don't think can ever truly change.

Well this was a long one, and probably a lot more introspective and personally relatable than I thought. I think now have a better understanding of what has always drawn me to these two. And also now think I have discovered the song that describes them both so... thanks Taylor Swift! Whatever future this rekindled romance holds in the comics, we'll see how it shakes out. But I can enjoy the ride even if some of it has been rocky. Not the first time I've had to deal with that.

If you're still here, congrats, you've made it to the end. And I hope I didn't completely bore you all with this fairly overly comprehensive look at a pairing spanning various mediums and continuities. But I like to be thorough. So I hope you can appreciate the amount of work I put into this whole thing for you all. If I ever do this again I can only hope it won't be so... all encompassing. But I make no promises.

One thing I know though, I'm probably gonna be riding and dying these two forever. The Cat and her Spider, the Self and Selfless. Beautiful in the mess they are apart and the whole they are together.

#Marvel #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Black Cat #Felicia Hardy #SpiderCat #PeterFel #Spider-Man x Black Cat #Shipping #Comics #Video Games #Animation #spider man: the animated series #90s cartoons #Gwenpool #Taylor Swift #Anti-Hero #PS4 #Zeb Wells #Dan Slott #Nick Spencer #Damn that's a lot of Tags!

[markmentomoreef]

MINOR SPOILERS, I THINK?

Don’t mind me, just thinking about how perfect the story of Chip, Jay, and Gillion is.

That somehow, 3 people became more family than the entire world in a matter of seconds when meeting each other.

That Chip, who pulled Jay and Gill out of their respected bad places, cares deeply about them. That a man who is so emotionally repressed will tear down the earth just to save them. That Chip is so fucking insecure deep down. That he wants nothing more than to scream out his issues, and feel okay, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t because he’s got a fight to win. Because he simply just CANT. And that Gil and Jay see him. They fucking SEE how hurt he is. They see how much pain is behind his eyes when Ollie smiles and call them his family. They see how much knowingly pained hope is behind his eyes when he looks at or talks to Drey. How much he regresses when he talks to the man. They see him for the side he tries so fucking hard to bury, and he honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

That Gillion thinks nothing of himself. He thinks so terribly of who he is, and has a whirlwind of conflicting feelings in his head due to all the shit resurfacing about the Elders. That he’s slowly breaking down because of all the reconstruction, all the pain and suffering he’s realized they’ve caused. That the very thing his life was built upon is slowly being torn apart by the most amazing things to happen to him. These two humans, Chip and Jay, have freed him. They’ve made him feel more himself then he’s ever been in the past 23 years. These two, who know him to his very core, are there for him. Not because of a prophecy. Not because of what he can do. Not because of what he knows. Because he’s him. He’s Gillion, and that’s all they need.

And Jay. What could I say about Jay. She’s so fucking (platonically) in love. She can’t believe she got so fucking lucky. She didn’t know where she was going when she left the navy, and she immediately found Chip. She immediately found a home. She’s been through so fucking much. She’s had so much internal bullshit going on. She looks in the mirror, and she cannot define what she sees. She still doesn’t know if she’s a good person. She loves her family. She hates her family. She hates herself, but she’s also become so much more comfortable and confident. She’s Jay FUCKING Ferin. She’s Jay Ferin, Riptide Pirate. She’s Jay Ferin, navigator and co-captain of the Albatross. She is so many things. For years she’s loved and hated everything to do with her last name, and then there’s Chip and Gil. Chip and Gil, who love her. Who are there for her. Who fucking support her. She…she feels so fucking happy with them

#yea ig you could say i love albatrio #albatrio #jrwi riptide #jrwi albatrio #jrwi chip #jrwi gillion #jrwi jay

[wildfloweronwheels]

little moments/observations from sydney night 1:

so much glitter and sequins and cowboy hats seriously the creativity was next level

multiple men wearing “it’s me, hi, I’m the dad it’s me” shirts

a couple where the girlfriend was wearing a “karma is my boyfriend” shirt and the boyfriend’s just said “karma”

sheer chaos of the taylor/blink 182 crossover)

trading friendship bracelets not just with fans but with security, venue staff, police

the cheering when security and fans were allowed onto the floor after the storm

after the storm, there was a rainbow and the sun hitting all the sequins was magical

 the stadium losing their shit when travis walked in

taylor constantly looking at travis

taylor does lots of cute weird things with her hands on stage

holy cow elliotte is gorgeous

realising during willow that taylor’s movements control the dancers, they basically mimic her like being under a sorceress’s spell

how lit up the stadium was during Marjorie

can’t describe how loud the crowd was for champagne problems + taylor overflowing happiness at the piano

taylor’s hair being completely untamed by rep

the lwymmd performance is some of the most incredible stagecraft I’ve ever seen + taylor tormenting her fearless self

getting emotional watching amos and paul in long live

22 hat going to a beautiful girl with cancer

all too well was a religious experience

how striking it was with taylor in white and everyone else in black for my tears ricochet like a funeral procession

little girl below us getting tired and laying on her mum’s lap

the sydney blank space chant

just how hot the fire is during bad blood

 the implications of how you get the girl/albatross announcement/white horse/coney island (a song she wrote with joe)

“april 19th is going to be a fun day for us”

taylor fangirling over kangaroos

holy sabrina vocals

extra sorry in white horse

“karma is the guy on the chiefs”

#taylor swift #eras stadium tour #eras tour sydney night 1 #sabrina carpenter #travis kelce #life of hannah

[que3rduckling]

A little Stoneflame fic for you guys :DD

The sun shined brightly down on the Albatross where the crew of the riptide pirates went about their days. Igneous was leaning against the railing that looked over the main deck. From his view, he could see Chip and Ollie goofing around on the main deck, appearing to be pulling pranks on their fellow crew mates. 

“Chip! Chip! Did you see Miss Jay’s face!?” Ollie said excitedly, rocking back and forth on his heels as he did so.

“She was so shocked! We totally fucking got her!” Chip replied, seemingly beaming with pride at that, a large grin engrossing his face. Igneous always loved when he was like that, even if it was over some childish prank. 

Speaking of children, the more closely Igneous looked at Chip and Ollie the more he realized their physical similarities. Sure there were obvious differences, eye colour, skin colour and the fact that Ollie was a half-elf whereas Chip is a human. But there were also similarities such as hair colour, their face shape and their physical mannerisms.

Actually, as he continued to watch, he realized they were quite close, Relationship-wise. Igneous didn’t think kids in their 20s and 12 years old were usually that close…  I mean he had been in the Black Sea for over a decade so maybe things changed over that time but he didn’t think so…

Oh fuck was Ollie Chip’s kid!? 

I mean it made sense, the two were practically inseparable. And Chip did have a seemingly parentalish relationship with Ollie, even if he allowed for reckless behaviour and even encouraged it at certain points. There was still that love in his eyes towards Ollie that Igneous had seen in his own pa towards him. 

But wasn’t Chip only in his twenties? Does that mean he had Ollie super young? Or was Ollie adopted? Igneous knew Chip was an orphan himself so it didn’t seem so far-fetched that he would adopted. But even so, twenties was still such a young time to be raising a kid, he is practically still a kid himself! But he couldn’t judge, it was not his life to do so and if the kid and him were happy and safe there was nothing that igneous could or should do on the topic. 

Though saying that, did he almost become a father himself? Chip did ask to marry him, so if he had accepted the proposal that means we would become a father to Ollie himself? Igneous didn’t think he was ready for that kind of responsibility yet. He did love Chip- as a friend! He loved Chip as a friend! At least he was pretty sure he did, but either way, he was not prepared to be a father yet. 

Igneous stood there for a while, his brain running over everything he just possibly discovered over and over again and he continued to watch Chip and Ollie as he did so.

After a while Ollie and Chip eventually split off, Ollie going over to hang out with Gillion and Pretzel and Chip seemingly walking over to where Igneous stood. Igneous watched him carefully as he continued to walk closer, eventually landing right beside him leaning on the railing beside him.

“What’ch you up to there igneous?” Chip turned to face him as he asked, his handsome smirk still present on his face.

“Nothing much Lil bro.” Igneous replied. He paused for a moment, thinking over whether or not to mention it but curiosity got the best of him. Let’s hope it doesn’t kill him like that one cat, “Uh Chip can I ask you something?”

“Yeah sure, what about?” Chip seemed to shift his weight from one foot to another, he appeared to be preparing for a deep talk. Which, fair, over the past couple of weeks there seemed to be no end to them. The Black Sea seemed to do that to people. 

“Don’t worry bruv, it’s nothing serious.” Chip seemed to relax a bit at that, “Just, when you are asking people to marry you, probably should mention you have a kid. Don’t think I would be ready to be a pa if I had accepted.”

“What- Igneous what are you talking about? I don’t have any kids, at least I don’t think I do.” Chip looked genuinely puzzled at this and in exchange so did Igneous. 

“What’cha mean? Ollie? Isn’t he your kid?” Igneous questioned. Chip and Igneous stood there, staring at each other for a moment. Igneous at one point felt himself start to heat up, whether it be from embarrassment, something more romantic or a combination of both he didn’t know. Chip eventually broke the silence by going into a fit of laughter, leaving Igneous even more dumbfounded.

“No-no HAHHAHAHA NO!! Ollie isn’t my kid! He is just the kid we keep on the ship! You-you think I am a father?” Chip started to snicker at that, “I barely have worked through my immense daddy issues, I am not fit at all to be raising a kid.” 

“Oh I am sorry bruv, I just assumed-,”Igneous was a bit taken a back, we thought for sure Ollie was his kid, “You and the kid seemed so close, thought you must be his dad.”

“Nah, Ollie is more like a little brother to me than anything,” Chip said, something glazed over his eyes for a second before he continued, “Well you know the proposal is still on the uh table if you want to. Maybe you and me could be a “pa” or whatever you said one day. We be a power couple! Raising a badass pirate kid.”

Igneous felt himself start to blush, which was harder to see on his stoney skin which he was thankful for. He had embarrassed himself enough with the captain today. Though thinking about it, the idea of becoming a pa with Chip one day was one that… excited him a bit. Maybe that’s how he would want to use his newfound freedom away from the Black Sea. With Chip, raising a kid on the sea.

“Might have to take you up on that offer one day.”

(This is definitely cannon btw ask @millenniumchibo or @blackseastone)

#que3rduckling #jrwi #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #just roll with it #jrwi chip #chip jrwi #chip james #chip lastname #jrwi igneous #igneous jrwi #jrwi fic #stoneflame #riptide pirates #jrwi riptide pirates #writing #fanfic #fanfiction

[gizkasparadise]

Hey,

I just finished 'I loved Rome more'.

I was absolutely blown away by it, if i must confess, it's something I've read again and again over the last 3 years. It's a truly beautifully heart-wrenching pain that amazes in it sweetness.

I wanted to ask how your version of Revan's story ends. How Alek's story ends (obviously he is dead, but what happened between him and Revan after this point? did they talk? reconcile?).

What happens to Revan?

Would you ever see yourself touching this work again?

Thank you for such a kind message! "Rome" is one of my most favorite fics I've written so I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

To answer your questions (going to add the message Qs too!):

1. How does their story end?

I left it open intentionally, since that way readers can interpret their end journey in a way they best feels fit: want a tragedy? Revan keeps trying to achieve something impossible because her pride and her inability to stop moving won't let her rest and attempt to work through the closure of Malak's death and his ghost becomes an albatross around her neck. want something more hopeful? revan finds a way to bring Malak back in the unknown regions and gives the universe a cosmic middle finger.

My personal headcanon, which you definitely don't need to subscribe to because death of the author, is somewhere in the middle: revan finds happiness in having a purpose again, Malak finds peace in no longer having to fight anything and accompanies her, as always, for the ride. There's a kind of simple happy ending in that, I think!

2. Would I see myself coming back to this work?

This particular fic is 100% complete in my mind and I'm happy where it went! I do, one day, want to get back in and finish the story's sister fic about exile and bao-dur, "give place to better," which will follow kotor 2 (and will likely include this version of revan and Malak in flashbacks)

3. What's the title mean?

The title is from the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, where Anthony says (paraphrase) "it's not that I loved Caesar any less, but that I loved rome more" regarding his decision to assassinate caesar, his close friend. I feel like the statement really sums up their dynamic in the fic--Malak might be the person Revan loves most in the world, but she loved her purpose more than him until it was too late

Thank you again for the message!!

#asks! #revalek #revan #malak #kotor #fanfic #i loved rome more

[francesderwent]

I need you to give me all the delena/tvd coded ttpd songs, hit me with it

bless you, anon!

so this is an EXTREMELY tvd-coded album!! the steady relationship with the guy who saved you isn't working anymore and hasn't been working for a long time. he doesn't understand you anymore. he can't move forward with you. the relationship is starting to be symbolized and characterized by death. at the same time, there is someone who does love you the way you are...and maybe has loved you even longer than the person you're with now. you escape the prison of the first lover and run straight into the arms of the new one--and everyone you know hates it and hates him. but you know who he is, and you know what you want!

you see the vision, right? this is where it starts to break down, because Damon is very much not The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. he gives Elena her sparkling summer, and then (after some bumps in the road) he gives her the promised rings and cradles. so here's the delena songs:

in a weird way, I think The Albatross is a Damon song. and when that sky rains fire on you and you're persona non grata, I'll tell you how I've been there too and that none of it matters is Damon when Elena becomes a vampire! everyone warned her about him, but he swoops in and saves her.

Fresh Out the Slammer is 4x07. Elena is freshly broken up with Stefan, because he don't understand me, and runs straight home to Damon, the one who...no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway

But Daddy I Love Him is s4 when Caroline and Stefan and co have all turned against Damon. stay away from her, the saboteurs protested too much. Elena won't hear it! no I'm not coming to my senses, I know he's crazy but he's the one I want! Elena stands by her choice! he was chaos he was revelry, bedroom eyes like a remedy!

Down Bad is Elena in season 6a when she thinks Damon is dead. they were supposed to have forever and he left her, and now she's spiraling. tell me I was the chosen one, showed me that this world is bigger than us, then sent me back where I came from. I might just die, it would make no difference.

I Look in People's Windows is 6x06, Damon back from the dead and pressed against Elena's door hoping that she'll remember him if she sees him. does it feel alright to not know me? what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

The Alchemy is season 6b when Damon is back, Elena still doesn't remember him and is trying to date some unimpressive boy, and they still find themselves falling into old habits anyway. call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team! the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me! who are we to fight the alchemy??

but the fun of it is But Daddy I Love Him comes back at the end!! Elena gets the whole story, including the fantasy happy ending. Damon wins over Alaric and Bonnie! Elena gets the wedding and to dance in her dress in the sun!!

miscellaneous non-delena ones:

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me is a Katherine song!

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart is Caroline Forbes, hands down.

I think The Black Dog is Caroline singing to Tyler. "I just don't understand how you don't miss me", and "tail between your legs, you are leaving" are the stand out lines.

the chorus of Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus reminds me of delena because "just say I loved you the way that you were" is 2x22 and "I've always wondered" is 3x22. the rest of the song does not work.

The Prophecy is a Bonnie Bennett song.

#i think if we called I can fix him no really I can that would be a disservice to elena #who at her best (when she's written best!) doesn't try to fix damon she just holds him to a standard #dsotd #asks #delena swift #delena

[rrain-writes]

Rain's LU Febuwhump: Day 9

Bees: Wind

Warnings: Bee stings, self-hatred

Art

Wind was bored. Wild and Hyrule had run off without him, Four and Time were busy, Twilight had disappeared, Sky and Warriors were resting after their injuries in the most recent monster fight, and Legend was snapping at anyone who tried to talk to him.

So Wind decided to go for a walk.

The youngest Link trampled through the forest, swinging his sword and singing sea shanties obnoxiously. If some dumb monsters heard him, at least they’d give him something to do.

“What will we do with a drunken sailor, what will we do with a drunken sailor.” 

He his voice hit high and low notes, like he was trying to win an award for the worst musical performance.

“What will we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning!”

Wind wasn’t sure how far away camp was now, but he didn’t really feel like going back yet.

“Way hay and up she rises, way hay and up she rises, way hay and up she rises- ooh.”

The boy stopped and looked up the tree. Hanging off one of the branches was a strange kind circular thing, and lots of bugs buzzed around it.

Curious, Wind picked up a small rock and aimed high. He hit the thing straight in the middle and cheered.

Wind quieted down. The buzzing was louder. He yelped as the bugs surrounded him, sounding angry.

One flew down and landed on his arm, the spot stinging. Wind flicked it off and inspected the sting. He was distracted by a similar feeling on his another arm.

The bugs began to attack.

Wind yelled out as he ran, calling for help from the weird little creatures. They continued to sting him, his arms legs and face, until he finally seemed to have run far enough away from their nest thing.

Once Wind was sure they had stopped pursuing him, he looked down at his arms and legs and the sting began to kick in.

“Ow, ow, ow.” He whimpered. Most of the bugs had left little pricks in his arms and legs, so he began to painstakingly pull them out. 

There wasn’t very many, maybe ten or so, but they still hurt. Wind suddenly thought to look around, and he realised he didn’t know where he was.

“Well shit.” The boy voiced out loud. He’d also managed to loose his sword, so the other heroes wouldn’t be very happy with him.

Still out of breath from running, the sailor decided to rest for a moment before going to look for his brothers. Unfortunately when he went to get up, he was struck by a sudden wave of nausea that made him sink right back down.

Wind groaned. The bugs must of been venomous. Or poisonous. He couldn’t really remember the difference. All that mattered was he was sore, his head hurt, he felt ready to be sick, and he didn’t know where the others were.

Wind mentally scolded himself. No wonder the others thought of him as a burden. To them he was a kid who got lost and injured all the time. His Gran would call him an albatross, slowing them all down.

Wind hated those damn bugs.

#fan fiction #linked universe #lu #wind #lu wind #febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #febuwhumpday9 #bees #bee stings #self-hatred #Rain's LU Febuwhump

[sleepinginpanic]

Nunemaker’s Parable by Everyone’s worried about Owen is Chip coded.

It’s so Chip coded and if I knew how to animate I’d make a animation about Chip with this song

Also Spoilers for JRWI riptide and analysis below

V V V V V

Ok for the like analysis 

“There was a wanderer who found his way to God

Or maybe it was Lucifer under some false facade

Broken down and tattered

Compound fractures in his sleeves

Shoe soles nailed together

But he never seemed to bleed

With one desperate push

His poor diaphragm forced out a plea”

Let’s be honest, Chip doesn’t look good. He has been several times described as haunted. With all the battles and things he’s seen, he’s probably constantly kinda dirty and his clothes are probably kinda ruined. Also maybe some 109 spoilers for his looks here (specially with the last three lines)

“He said: One home burned down, one fell apart

One met a flood, and one was nothing from the start

Weapons build against me, well they all seem to fail

But weapons built against my home

They always will prevail”

The one that burned down was the orphanage with Price. The flood is the Black Rose pirates. Nothing from the start is where ever he came from before joining the black rose pirates, his birth family. One that fell apart is his first ship, the chipper (I think that’s the name).

“So leave me my liver and leave me my skin

Leave me the way all those other homes did

But leave me a soul, only by definition

I don't want to feel anything

My neurons are snapping like cat gut strings

A symphony of agony

I don't wanna hear and I don't wanna sing

I don't wanna breathe incompletely

I am mourning

I am morning

So break me anew”

This just feels very Chip. He’s mourning a lot, the black rose pirates mostly. (Also Episode 109)

“Well, I'll find every sick fuck I can

And I'll make them a deal

With no conscience, I'll make money and

I'll lie and cheat and steal

And that money won't bring happiness

But let me ask what does

'Cause I've found a place, and those sick fucks

Well, they turned it to dust

And if I can't have justice

I might as well join the unjust”

His deal with Niklaus, Price, becoming a pirate in general. So much of just hiding behind the role of a bastard.

“The floorboards smelled like lemonade

Prepared for our arrival

The air was clean and crisp

Just like a tonic for survival

Well, I wrote my name in charcoal

On the bathhouse where we cried

So now I'm broken fundamentally

And nobody gets why”

This about the albatross. Him carving big chipper into the ship. Also replace lemonade with orange juice.

“So give me what drugs you got, give me your meds

Give me a cocktail to sedate my head

Abandon all hope of my moral salvation

They already took that from me”

I don’t have a part about the drugs but I do about the morals. Chip doesn’t have very strong morals when it comes to lying, stealing, stuff like that, but he did about killing. Yet he loses this moral when he gives up his memory of why he has this moral. He has been said to be a sinner several times, to be past saving really when it comes to his sins.

“The sky was an angel of morning's heat

With languid, shiny curls of aquamarine

And when I close my eyes and when I dare to dream

When I think I might shatter completely

I can feel them in my hands

But I can't go back again”

Angle could be Chip speaking celestial. Though this part I think goes better with him talking about Gillion and Jay. As well as the nightmares he had with everything burning, including his friends.

“My neurons are snapping like cat gut strings

A symphony of agony

I don't wanna hear and I don't wanna sing

I don't wanna breathe incompletely

I am mourning

I am morning

So break me anew

Turns out that the God he found was just a little girl

Sitting on a swingset

Just a little girl

She said "Mister, you look tired

I will let you go, but first

I think that what you're asking for

It just might make things worse"

This part right here about the little girl, that’s Chip talking to Ollie. Ollie is the little girl in the song. Chip sees Ollie as like a better version of kid him. He sees what Arlin saw in him in Ollie. Ollie is like a reminder of his childhood.

Also I feel like For Sad Strange Little Man is also Chip coded.

#jrwi riptide #chip jrwi #jrwi spoilers #jrwi #just roll with it #just roll with it riptide #Nunemaker’s parable

[some-pers0n]

Hey guys I was gonna reblog to @avianreptiles's cool reblog thread of your current art WIPs (which you totally should do)(sharing art is cool) andddd I wanted to share something myself. But I didn't write it yet. I then got carried away with writing it. Here ya go.

It's a scene from my Albatross fic that I've been trying to figure out how to do for a while. It's framed as a oneshot for now, but yeah it'll be integrated later on. It features a dead wife and sad aromantic Albatross.

Reblogs are always appreciated!! I adore seeing the notes people leave behind. They make me giggle and kick my feet. I love you guys <33

Albatross never got the point of funerals. Others tried telling him that they were worth his time. "It's a celebration of life!" they would say. They'd frame it as a commendable event. That he should be happy that somebody is dead.

He couldn't imagine a place he wouldn't rather be than here, standing before her grave.

Marlin, his wife, had passed away a few days ago. Albatross was the one to find her. He will never forget the utter horror that was seeing her lying on the floor, bleeding out with a single cut on her neck. She was long gone by the time he got there. He tried everything he could, even desperately begging for his magic to somehow bring her back, but to no avail. She was lost.

It had been a blur from then and up until the funeral. A dazed state of vague emptiness. A fog of numbness. He hadn't cried since discovering her body, something he felt guilty for. Manta and Eel, their very own dragonets, had been bawling nonstop. Even Lagoon was weeping earlier. Surprising that she had emotions.

No, he shouldn't say that. Being petty gets him nowhere. She was so distraught over Marlin's death. Even if he found the ceremony obnoxiously long and overdramatic, especially when she got upset at him refusing to speak, he should be grateful he set this whole thing up. 

Marlin deserved a nice send-off. She deserved a lot better than what she got in life, so she deserved just as much in death.

The grave was in the center of one of the Island Palace's gardens. It was where they got married and was always her favourite spot. Echoes of memories flowed through him. The feeling of warmth watching her tend to the bushes and flowers. The sweetness of seeing Manta take up an interest in her mother's craft. She loved this area.

Now she's memorialized with a grave. A marble statue erected where her body was buried, complete with aquamarines for her eyes.

The sky was overcast and grey. The wind wasn't cold, but humid enough to be slightly uncomfortable. It was as though he was standing in a world where the life was drained from it. Any joy or hope that could've been had decayed.

It was late into the evening. Everyone had already gone up and left. Manta and Eel were put to bed an hour ago. The only one awake in this palace was Albatross himself. He didn't feel too happy with the service. Many mourned the loss of Marlin, but more than anything, Albatross wanted to spend it alone.

"I'm sorry," he said. He didn't know why he said it, but it felt better to hear his voice. "I'm sorry for, well, everything." He glanced at the bushes around them. Some were trampled and stomped on, disturbed by the guests. "I wanted a private event. I wanted it to be just me, the dragonets, and you. I didn't want it to be this whole thing. But, you know, Lagoon insisted." He scoffed.

The statue did not respond. He wasn't expecting it to, but the apathetic silence was deafening.

"A lot of things between us shouldn't have been as public as they were. Lagoon." A faint smile cracked across his snout. "You always said I should've been more assertive. Not let her push me around. And you're right. I really, really should have." 

His expression faded away. "You wouldn't have liked it being like this. I'm sorry about that. I should have been firm with her, but she just kept pushing about it and..." He winced. "She brought up her again. Used her as an argument against me, again. Then, she brought you up. She never said it, but I knew what she meant. She thinks I could've saved you. If I had been there, I could've protected you. I could've gotten to you before you died."

He sat down, folding his wings to his side. The words were spilling out of him. "And she's right. I'm a coward. A stupid, childish fool who's afraid of his own shadow. Because of it, I ruined Sapphire's life. Because of it, I let you die." He tapped his talons against the ground. "I don't think I could do anything to make it up to you for what I've done." 

He glanced up at the statue. He was met with the frozen stare of those teal gemstone eyes.

"You did more than I deserved, quite frankly. You gave me two wonderful dragonets. I cannot thank you enough. If there's one thing I could do for you, it's giving them a life that is better than ours. They are the light of my life." He smiled, lost in thought over them. "I'll be a good father."

He heavily sighed, his grin washed away. "It's a shame they came from Lagoon pressuring me. She wants another animus. Obvious why. I'm sorry that you were roped into all of this." He walked closer to the statue.

"Everything about us was dictated by her, really. Even our own marriage she arranged. Maybe, had you been luckier, you wouldn't have ended up with me. You could have had a lovely life with a better partner. A partner who...actually loved you."

His jaw quivered. "I was never clear about that, but I think you knew. You were the most beautiful dragon I've ever seen. You brought me more joy and happiness into my life than I deserved. But, even as I said my vows on that very night when we were wed, I lied." He bit his tongue. "I never felt more disgusted by myself when I told you 'I love you'. I didn't. I never did."

He blinked, feeling tears well up. "There's...something wrong with me." He looked at his talons. "I don't know whether it's this magic or something I was hatched with, but there's something deeply wrong with me. I wanted to love you. I treated you with so much care and respect. I liked you, Marlin. Every moment we spent together was one I cherished...but I never felt that spark."

His voice began to break. "Every day I wished that somehow I could fix myself. That one morning I would wake up and magically the hole in my heart and begin to feel any sort of attraction or love to you. That we could be together forever. End up like a couple in a storybook, where we rush off into the sunset forever, full of only love with one another."

He rested his head on the statue. "And I'm sorry that I'll never be able to give you that. You deserved someone who could love you in a way that meant something. You deserved a better life than what you were given, and I'm so...so sorry..."

He gave way to incoherent weeping, quietly murmuring to the statue the same thing over and over again. He was sorry. He couldn't do anything to fix it. He could only feel pity for himself. For being incapable of making a stand. For being incompetent when it came to social situations. For being a terrible, horrible partner.

Marlin was dead, and Albatross was left with nothing more than the cold, unfeeling statue that stood before her. As though her life was little more than a name on a garden decoration. A footnote in a long, long history of SeaWing royals. She would be forgotten by the sands of time.

So long as he lived, he would ensure she would be remembered. That, somehow, her story will be recounted even thousands of years later. It was the one thing he could promise.

#wof #wings of fire #albatross wof #wof fanfic #SP-writing

[swordsmans]

Hi !

I'm that anon that was gushing about finding you back on AO3 after loving "Always Gold" forever, right?

I just felt like I had to let you know, I never was a Zolu shipper, actually. Mostly, I enjoy the entire crew being completely platonic with each other.

THAT being said, you write them SO fucking well that you're basically converting me to them, but it's not the reason I follow you and stuff. Your writing is just... So good and evocative and you somehow always makes the most interesting plots, handdle them so interestingly and have the best Luffy in general.

(Somehow, a well written Luffy is always difficult to find 😭)

And I am a time-travel fics whore, you see, as well as devotions centric ones, so of course, I am basically worshipping the ground you walk on. The ships are just a bonus to me!

I cannot wait for next chapter, I am gnawing at my walls >x<

oh my god!!! hi!!! aaaahhh oh my god this is the nicest compliment, holy shit!!! aklsjdhfsdf im glad that my writing is impactful enough to break out of zolu containment (LOL) especially luffy!! i confess i am always the most worried about his characterization because his voice can be kind of hard to pin down sometimes (since we almost never see his internal monologue in canon and mostly oda just gives us, like, reaction panels) so this is like!!!! ahh!!! thank you so much!!!

like u i am a HUGE nakamaship fan and i love writing crew interactions the most so im hoping i can put together some shorter straw hat fics in the near future!! that being said... i would like to formally welcome u to my zolu corner. it is a delight to have you!!! lol

even tho it is zolu, albatross/always gold will stay very romance dawn trio/nakamaship-centric as it goes on, i promise. im glad you're looking forward to the next chapter!!! im really excited to get back into it when i finish my current project omg. it's waiting in the wings as a special little treat :3c anyway, it makes me sooo happy you like it so much. here is a little snippet of what i've already written for chapter 3 (if you want!)

---

As he watches, she plants her feet in front of Luffy, who stops—staring at her with wide, curious eyes, mouth still half-full of food. Her knuckles tint white where she has them clasped together. Zoro blinks, stunned, but Luffy must see something her expression, must pick up on something because he tilts his head at her like a kind of curious animal—and then Kuina bows.

In one formal, breathy rush, she says, “Thank you for taking care of my stupid, gross little cousin. He’s not a very good swordsman, and he gets lost easily, and he’s terrible at talking to people—so he needs someone to watch out for him.”

And Luffy laughs, throwing his head back, and Kuina’s own head whips up with a kind of stunned expression on her face.

“He is stupid! And he’s gross!” Luffy crows, and Zoro sputters. “But Nami keeps us from getting lost, and he talks to me just fine, and—didn’t you know?” he says, grinning, leaning forward again. “He’s going to be the greatest swordsman.” He stands up straight, and Kuina blinks at him, her expression faltering—then Luffy asks, eyes sharp but still smiling, “You’re the white sword, right?”

Kuina frowns, “The—”

“Wa-do I-chi-mon-ji,” Luffy enunciates, hitting each syllable like he’s practiced it over and over again. Like he’s memorized it with intention, one of the few names among hundreds that matters enough to remember. And Zoro feels a kind of nausea in the base of his throat, a bundle of emotions he doesn’t want to deal with, because he knows Luffy knows his swords, but he’s never bothered to ask if he knew them.

A Zoro watches, Kuina looks at Luffy a little warily—like maybe he’s playing some kind of trick on her. She’s still stiff-backed, not quite risen from her bow, and there’s a formality to her posture that seems so wrong directed at Luffy. Habits drilled into them both about respect, respect, respect for the people with power.

Slowly, carefully, she says, “It’s my sword.”

“No, it’s not. It’s Zoro’s sword.” Then, peering at her, he gives a decisive nod. “I’m right,” he says.

“About wha—” Kuina starts, clearly frustrated—already forgetting that Luffy is a Captain because he’s just so Luffy.

Then, without warning, he beams at her—one hand on his hat in a gesture Zoro has seen a thousand times, but that he knows—in that way he always knows what Luffy is thinking—means he’s swearing on the most precious thing in the world that what he’s saying is true. “Thank you,” he says, grinning, “for Zoro.”

And Kuina looks at him, startled. “Don’t thank me for something I didn’t do.”

Luffy tilts his head, frowning at her like he’s thinking, even though Zoro knows—can see him assessing her. “Did you know he fights with his teeth?” he says, gesturing wildly. “He puts the sword in his mouth and—that way, the only way someone can take the sword is by taking his head, too. You’re his treasure.”

“That’s so stupid,” she laughs, almost forgetting, and Luffy grins at her. “He’s so stupid.”

“And strong, and cool, and kind, and funny, and strong—”

“You already said that.”

“Because it’s true!” Luffy says like she’s stupid, and Kuina makes a face because she hates that kind of tone on deep, existential level, Zoro knows. Too many lectures synonymizing stupid with girl, even though Luffy wouldn’t know (or care) if they beat him over the head with it. Case in point, Luffy sticks his tongue out at her. “What’s that look for?” he says, frowning. “Shouldn’t you be proud? You made him that way.”

And deeply, intrinsically, inexplicably Zoro feels like something’s lodged in his throat even though he hasn’t even touched his food—

—but Luffy looks up, then, and catches his eye, and his Captain absolutely lights up as he scrambles over, already moving on from Kuina and whatever that was—leaving a blinking, bewildered little girl behind in the grass.

#answers #uhh technically #libreoffice says its 676 words but who knows lol #NO PRESSURE TO READ IT IF UR SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO WAIT BTW!!!! #gyro.odt

[lavender-visions]

The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology Dissertation

(very proud of this, and my own personal thoughts. please be nice 😊)

in order to really absorb and feel this album you have to break it down into the many different layers that is Taylor Swift. In many ways Swift captures what can be called the human crisis. We as people have the full range of emotions from happy to sad. however Swifts writing on The Tortured Poets Department hits all the areas of grey in her life. Ranging from working in the music industry, her personal life, and her love life.

The music industry has never been a kind place. She entered this realm when she was just a kid and has grown up in this awful system made for her to “expire”. We all know Swift as an international singer with millions of fans. However Swift can’t help but think that it’s all fleeting. She’s angry, she’s paranoid and downright terrifying when she sings the words “so tell me everything is not about me… but what if it is? Then say they didn’t do it to hurt me… but what if they did? i want to snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me. you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.” Taylor emphasizes just how horrifying being raised in this industry is. She later confirms this with the lyrics from Clara Bow stating “Take the glory, give everything. Promise to be Dazzling”. Taylor is fully aware that she has made a mark on the music industry, and by some records knows that she is currently at the top of her game. But while all of her fans are showing up to these gigantic concerts and screaming “MORE!” she continues to “fake it till she makes it”. None of us had a clue that she was doing this all while dying inside. (I can do it with a broken heart.)

there was an industry before Taylor, During Taylor and inevitably there will be an industry after Taylor. One human can’t do it all without cracking and Swift has shown us that.

In TTPD her personal life and love life become intertwined. We know Swift was in a 6 year long relationship with Joe Alwyn and a “situationship” with Matty Healy. Many people have been surprised that Matty had so much “playtime” on this album potentially dedicated to him. After listening through once this is written from the perspective of someone who felt rejected by one person right after another. it’s not a “i’m going to kill myself if HE leaves” it’s a “i can’t lose another person again because of the industry i’ve built.” I’m very obviously not Taylor Swift so i can’t say if that’s truly what was going through her mind. The album starts out with Matty and then continues into more “Joe” based songs with “So long London”. This then continues into the song “Fresh Out the Slammer” where there’s a hint of Matty but referencing back to Joe saying she has “done her time”. She references a park and sitting on children’s swings with this person she has just called after a long relationship break up. the line “wearing imaginary rings” shows that even though she’s HERE with this person she’s thinking about Joe.

After Matty and Taylor call it off there’s a decent in the lyrics. (Most songs after Whos afraid of Little Old Me?) She becomes reflective of her time with Joe and how he has left her alone and it really becomes an issue as we can see from the song “I Can Do it with a Broken Heart” because even though this happened shes “in the prime of her life” however it’s very clear that swift feels far from that. She’s realizing that everything is coming to a head. her love life and her career. Where are you supposed to go after the Eras tour? Who are you supposed to turn to when you’ve been left to pick up the pieces of not just one but two people leaving? She very clearly questions the whole probability of her ever finding a love again that will stay because they want to. (imgonnagetyouback & The Black Dog) She reverts back to the possibility that a lot of people hate her (The Albatross & Cassandra) and even calls out the ones who publicly do (thanK you aIMee)

This quickly morphs into questioning her choices in life. where it suddenly feels like she’s not in control anymore. (i hate it here, i look through peoples windows, How did it end?) She knows that the people she loves don’t stay in the picture and from her perspective it’s because of the industry itself or the fact that she has always loved them more than they loved her (Peter)

In Swifts mind, everything goes back to her childhood and how she was born that way (The Bolter & The Prophecy) which i do believe gives her a sense of security and reasoning even if she doesn’t love the outcome.

We then have her songs about Travis (So Highschool & The Alchemy) these songs are hesitant and they should be after everything Taylor has endured the past 3-5 years. She likes him and knows there’s something there but wonders “are you going to marry, kiss, or kill me” and is “betting on all three”.

Finally, It was a stroke of genius to end with “The Manuscript”. I truly believe this song is how she views her life. Girl meets boy and they hit it off. They date and then end things. She then writes a song, directs a short film, whatever Miss Swift has done for us viewers over the years. But the truth is, she hates it. It’s what she loves to do in the moment but the moment we as viewers and listeners are shared with it, it becomes ours and we twist it how we want to see it. She ends with the line “Now and then i reread the manuscript. But the story isn’t mine anymore”. This speaks volumes to what being a creator of music means. Now that we have TTPD it’s not hers anymore, and hopefully she can finally begin the healing process.

@taylorswift @taylornation

#taylor swift #ttpd #ttpd discertation #please be nice

[apples-and-heartbreak]

Wings of Fire was a big part of my childhood, my library teacher showed me the books and the first one I read was The Hidden Kingdom and I fell in love with the books. To this day Glory and Moon are my favourite characters in the series. I didn’t finish the third arc but I have read books #1-13, Winglets, Darkstalker, and the first graphic novel.

And I’m just thinking about how absolutely FUCKED UP that series was. I love it but it was fucked up. Like The Dragonet Prophecy literally started off with a fucking double homicide???? And I made a list of the crimes that I remembered but it’s probably missing some things. And the book that has stayed with me the longest is Darkstalker. Like that book fucked me up so much when I read it. Like the audience knows it’s not a happy ending and Darkstalker is evil but IT IS SO MUCH WORSE??????

Clearsight is seeing every single future and she is seeing things no child should ever have to see and she knows that Darkstalker is her future. She knows how badly things can end if they end badly and she tries to ignore him but it obviously doesn’t work. Then she tries to control every single decision she makes because there are too many futures where things end badly but she so desperately wants them to be happy and they don’t and it’s so awful to see. She tries to control everything and in the end it means nothing. There is no happy ending, there’s no family, no children. Just hurt and betrayal and death.

Fathom sees his entire family be killed by Albatross who’s an animus and he is so scared of himself because he’s also an animus and he hates what he is. He is terrified of becoming like Albatross and when he meets Darkstalker, an animus who isn’t scared of his power and is good, he feels hopeful. But that hope is crushed when Indigo leaves him and he doesn’t know that Darkstalker put her in the statue so he thinks his best friend left him. Then he sees how out of control Darkstalker is, with the murders, the torture, the attempted regicide and literally DISEMBOWELLING AND KILLING HIS OWN FATHER in front of the entire Night Kingdom. It hurts.

Darkstalker starts off as this little kid who has too much power and a bad family situation. Then he sees Clearsight and he knows that they fall in love and he’ll be happy so he gives her space but he can’t hold himself back because he loves her and wants her and she’s everything he needs. But as the story goes on, he’s not the sweet little kid who loves his mom and sister and girlfriend. He’s twisted and cruel and wants people to know him and fear him. He makes himself immortal and indestructible because he doesn’t want to die and he wants to be revered. He’s a kid with too much power and people waiting for him to fail. He tries to be happy and in love but he can’t trust anyone, not even Clearsight, the person he’s supposed to love more than anyone. He gets rid of people like toys because he doesn’t like them questioning him. He gifts Clearsight earrings that limit her powers because he wants her to ignore the bad things and just be in love with him. And then he tries to kill Vigilance and is confused as to why Clearsight and Fathom are horrified. He genuinely cannot tell when he is wrong and he doesn’t care if he is. He learns from his mistakes yeah but not to improve himself, instead it’s to better his schemes. No is going to question his powers if he makes himself a mentor to Moon and constantly lies and manipulates her into thinking he’s a good person. No one is going to question him if he enchants them to love him the moment he gets his powers back. He doesn’t have to kill one IceWing a month when he can send a plague to wipe them out. Clearsight isn’t going to question him if he makes his own Clearsight by using a girl and warping her mind and body to look like Clearsight and obey his wishes.

That book has so much tragedy and heartbreak I’m still not over it. I am both unsettled and in love with that book.

#great poison talks #Darkstalker #clearsight #wings of fire #wof #tui t sutherland

[mylittlemermaid221]

in celebration of the release week, rank songs from ttpd in terms of your excitement/curiosity about each one hehe 🤍

omg this is a good one!! Thank youuuuu 🥰🥰

So Long, London - its a tiny bit cliche maybe but London boy was one of my favs from lover so this one is going to tear me apart. I fear it might be like All too well but I also think she could just go full rock and anger and reputation

But daddy I love him - I mean in my head its a little mermaid reference, no doubt. Obviously no one knows how this song really goes so maybe its not a reference but in my head it is and alway will be. Like the film also came out in 1989, thats not a coincidence (sorry just went full clowning swiftie there 😅)

Fresh out of the slammer - Oh my god I need to know what kind of song this is going to be! Like is it anger or is it just so depressing I won't come outside for at least a week after the release? 😭

My boy only breaks his favorite toys - I have a feeling that the lyrics on this one are going to be devastating...😭 Like the whole album will but I have a feeling this will be peak Taylor story telling.✨

Who's afraid of little old me? - Oh again I have this dilemma like whats it gonna be?! how will it sound?! I think it will be slander and reputation and rock and stuff but again its Taylor, it might just be the most depressing thing you've ever heard. 😃

I can fix him (No really I can) - I don't know why but for some reason I'm going for the long titles. 😆😅 Anyway I just think the title is really funny and I need to know if and how she will sing those words.

loml - Another tricky one. I read theories that loml could not only stand for love of my life but maybe she'll end up changing it in loss of my life or something depressing. Maybe it will be about Travis and its just a happy love song! ❤️

Florida!!! - This is definitely going to be like the ultimate summer festival vibe banger, trust me, it will be that. If not, don't blame me. 😜

The tortured poets department - Another one where I don't know what to expect but the title makes me very excited! ✨ I mean its the title track so it must be something good.

I can do it with a broken heart - Again, I need to see the lyrics, I need to know the story she's going to tell.

The smallest man who ever lived - Omg actually I should've put this one higher but its just so many songs I'm excited for! This is another one that I'm like whats the story going to be? Will it be a country genre? Will it be like evermore/folklore? The title give us a little peak thats big enough for us to be like 'oh I know what this is about' but when you go think about it... you know nothing at all.

Guilty as sin? - Another tricky one... to be honest no idea what its going to be about, no predictions about the genre or style or something but the title sounds very promising. That's with all these songs really, the titles are its own poetry and we haven't even heard any of the lyrics. 😍🥰

Clara Bow - Another girl in the taylor universe! If its going to be anything like the last american dynasty, sign me up! I did research about Clara Bow (okay I lied, I saw an instagram real 😆) about it and her whole persona just makes me curious about this song.

Fortnight - From now on we have the song of which I have literally no idea what its going to sound like, whats it about. No thoughts in my head. 😅

Down Bad - The title sounds so cool but thats it. Furthermore I have no idea about this song.

The Alchemy - Maybe is the one lowest on the list the one I'm most curious of because I see this title and I just have zero thoughts how it will be. And I know it will definitely surprise me and end up being one of my faves, that always happens. 😂🥰

Bonus: Bonus Tracks

The black dog 🖤

The manuscript 🤍

The albatross 🩶

The bolter 🩶

I chose the black dog first cause that's the edition I preordered so it already has a special place in my heart 🖤 For the others I just went with the titles that sounded cool to me and like the aesthetics I picture in my head because I have no predictions furthermore, again. 😆😅

This was soooooo fun to do!!! It became quite the essay but I kind of made it my testament which I can refer back to once we hear the actual song. I mean if I got any of my predictions right, you'll know cause I won't shut up about it🙃 Thank you so much for your ask, Bel! 😍🥰 Always love seeing your name in my inbox 💖💖💖

#lovely people #asks #Bel #taylor swift #tortured poets #the tortured poets department #ttpd

[enasallavellan]

The Sea, the Stars, and the Albatross: Chapter 5

Serafina begins her training with the Warden mage, Ethlam. But when one of the recruits falls to the taint, the seriousness of the situation becomes clear.

If you like what I've written, why not reblog?

Author's note - I've been feeling better. I can keep some foods down, as long as they aren't too greasy. Or sweet. Or even the smallest degree of spicy. They still want to run more tests to see if we can figure out what it is, but still no clear diagnosis. Think happy Lacy-will-be-able-to-eat-like-a-normal-person thoughts.

Serafina glanced over to where the other recruits were already sparring and training. Cosette stood a few feet away, effortlessly sending swirling flames into the targets, earning approving looks from some of the other Wardens. Alice swung her blade at another warden, her attacks merciless and swift. Ulrich and Henrietta were tucked behind their shields, striving to push each other past a line drawn in the sand. Near the edge of the training ground, Hanin laughed with the other archers, fully assimilating into the Wardens' ranks. The air crackled with the sounds of clashing metal, taut bowstrings, and bursts of magic. Seraphina's gaze fell upon Robin among them, and suddenly, the entire group seemed incredibly distant and inaccessible in case something went wrong. Feeling her eyes, Robin looked over her shoulder and nodded toward Ethlam, mouthing, "You're alright."

Silk caught Serafina's as she went to raise her hand in acknowledgment and she hurriedly fastened it back around her hair. As she drew close, Ethlam stood up, dusting off his hands. "Recruit Serafina, I've been tasked with preparing you for service. We have little time, so pay attention." Without even a second's pause, he continued on, "First lesson: your primary goal is to keep yourself alive."

Serafina was caught off guard by that. Before she could stop herself, she asked, "I thought I was to heal the injured?"

"You can't help anyone if you're dead," He said firmly, "Second, maintain a safe distance and have someone provide cover for you while you heal."

Cover?

Like a blanket?

What did that have to do with fighting?

That couldn't be right.

"Questions?" Ethlam asked.

Serafina snapped back to reality. "What?"

Ethlam regarded her momentarily before responding, "Do you have any questions?"

She adjusted the knot of her scarf, her voice growing softer with each word. "I... don't know what you mean by 'cover.'"

Ethlam tilted his head slightly as he observed her. After briefly pausing, he explained, "When you want to heal, someone else needs to keep the enemies off you." Without wasting another second, he thrust his staff into her hands. "Here."

She took it clumsily, fumbling to get a grip on it. It was heavier than she expected, the wood dense and worn smooth from years of use. Atop it, an intricate of intertwined branches and leaves, all curled around a blue crystal at the center.

Ethlam plucked a wooden pole from the ground. "Borrow mine. No use teaching you with something lighter than the real thing." 

Seraphina adjusted her grip on the staff, attempting to find a comfortable hold. Ethlam watched her intently, his gaze unsettlingly flat. 

He motioned her towards him. "Show me your hands."

Her breath caught in her throat. The sting of that accusatory gaze was hot, and the staff clutched in her hands felt like it was burning.

She knew it was wrong.

But her uncle was sick. He had been coughing for weeks.

She didn't have a choice.

So she lied. She looked the guards dead in the eye and said, "I haven't taken anything."

And for some reason, they believed her.

But the shopkeeper…

"I didn't say that," Ethlam interrupted.

And his face was suddenly back to how it had been, so calm he seemed almost bored. "I want to see how big your hands are."

Serafina nodded anxiously, showing him a single shaking hand.

He examined it. "Smaller than I thought... fingers a bit long... thin..."

She nodded, noticing the dirt under her nails and wishing for a brush to clean them with. The moment he released her, she pulled her hand back to her chest, looking away.

Ethlam didn't acknowledge it. "When we arrive at Ostagar, we'll see what the mages have in stock."

The brisk lesson continued, and it was clear Ethlam had little patience for extra words and even less patience for losing time. When he lent a hand to assist her with her footing, he simply said, "Your feet," as he nudged the inside of her foot with his boot until they were positioned to his satisfaction. Serafina was surprised that she could tolerate it. It made her nervous, true, but for some reason, it never crossed over to fear. Perhaps it was because it was almost mechanical, with no leering eyes or wandering hands. 

"One here," he said, moving one of her hands on the staff. "The other here—put your foot back." He nudged at her left foot. "There. Hold and remember this stance."

It felt strange and unnatural, unsteady despite his insistence on the opposite.

"Point to what you want to hit. Push the magic through your hands and into the staff. It'll do the rest."

Serafina shifted her weight on the staff. "Do what?"

"Push the magic," he clipped. "However you cast."

She remembered the ribbon of blood flowing over eyebrows and eyelashes, tracing a path down a cheek. She remembered how the blood puddled around her fingers as she pressed them to the wound, just as warm as the skin underneath. Even after she had pulled away, it had been warm as fresh blood.

She tightened her grip on the staff, rubbing her fingers against the wood in an attempt to rekindle the sensation of warmth in the clammy air. The wood seemed to hum underneath the touch, and light shimmered from the gem at the staff's center.

"Now, choose your target," Ethlam ordered, his tone firm. "And strike."

Ahead, a few practice dummies stood, clearly made by some of the more creative Wardens. Some had faces scrawled on them, while others bore remnants of armor that had been reshaped too many times. One even wore a Ferelden helmet—similar to the one Lord Vaughn had worn after a skirmish. It was a common indulgence among the nobles, playing soldier for a week and returning home with inflated tales and self-importance. Serafina remembered counting the rivets on the helmet, doing anything to avoid looking into the eyes that hungered beneath.

With a crackle, the wood splintered, splitting the dummies and sending rotten hay flying everywhere.

Ethlam raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well struck."

Serafina dropped the staff as though it was on fire. Could it have really been that easy?

"Startles a lot of people," Ethlam said dismissively. "Now, ag—"

"Ethlam!" Hanin's laughter with the other archers had ceased. He now crumpled on the ground, clutching his chest and shivering. Ethlam snatched up his staff and sprinted toward them.

"Hold him!" Ethlam ordered, adjusting his grip on the staff. He plucked a white orb out of thin air, muttering as he pressed it into Hanin's heaving chest. Duncan pushed his way to the front, his face falling when he saw.

Hanin's body finally grew still, his breaths shallow. Ethlam sighed, sitting back on his heels. "It's moving fast, Duncan."

Duncan let out a soft hiss between his teeth. "Then we have no time to waste. We leave for Ostagar immediately."

An uneasy silence followed the command. Robin was the one to stand up, "But what about the others? We still have other recruiters -"

"A man is dying, Robin." Duncan said slowly, giving weight to each word, "Only the Joining can save him now. We leave now."

Serafina leaned towards Robin, uncertain of what to do. Robin smiled when she saw her, her expression caught between sadness and reassurance. "The taint," she said. "He must have been attacked by a Darkspawn."

"Taint?" She asked.

Robin nodded, "When someone's been poisoned by darkspawn blood - usually it's fatal within hours, but… every so often." She watched as a few Wardens lifted Hanin into one of the carts. Cosette was right behind them, eyes wide.

"Oh, no, poor girl." Robin sighed.

Serafina leaned forward, standing on her toes o get a better look, "Duncan said they were always fighting."

"Half the time." She said, The other half, they're flirting." She sighed, "A warning to you, Serafina. Don't get involved with anyone before the Joining - just trust me, alright?"

The familiar sensation of silk around her fingers eased her worries enough to ask, "What do you mean?"

"I can't tell you that, Fina." She shook her head, "I'm sorry - just don't get yourself all aflutter over anyone."

Serafina looked down at her boots, the world blurring. Her voice sounded far away even as she said, "I don't think that's going to be a concern."

Robins carefully touched her shoulder, saying gently, "That's alright. You don't have to explain yourself."

Serafina continued to twist the scarf, "Apologies -"

"Nothing to apologize for." Robin said, flashing a smile, "I don't know a single warden who doesn't have a pack full of baggage. Nobody is going to judge you for anything."

Her hunched shoulders relaxed a bit. Robin seemed sure enough, and the other Wardens seemed to fall in line behind her. Serafina took a deep breath, steeling herself to believe Robin - or at least to try.

"That's the spirit." Robin said brightly, "I'm going to go rally up the stragglers - want to come along?"

Serafina glanced over at the cart where Hanin lay. Cosette had gone to sit by his head, her own cloak rolled up under his head. 

She knew how it felt to lose someone.

"I'm going to go check on Cosette." She finally said.

Robin smiled, "You're a good egg, Serafina."

"A… good egg?"

She laughed, "You know how when you gather eggs, you have some that are rotten and some that are good? Well, people are like that too, my ma used to say. So, you're a good egg."

It was a funny thought.

"I'm glad you think so." She said.

Robin grinned, "I think I have a pretty good idea."

After untangling her scarf from her fingers, Serafina retied it over her hair, taking great care to ensure the knot was in the center of the nape of her neck. Feeling a bit more secure, she went to the cart, trying to plan what to say.

What would Nell have said?

What would her mother have said?"

Mamma, you probably never had to pray like this… but Maker, I don't know what else to do. Help me find the words?

Cosette was smoothing Hanin's long hair away from his face. She glanced up at Serafina, came over, but returned to looking back down at Hanin, her voice going up in bright falsetto, "Oh! You're - I'm sorry, I can't remember." Her eyes didn't go back to Serafina as she spoke. Instead, she smoothed the wrinkles out of her tobes.

"Serafina." She supplied.

"Serafina." Cosette's smile was wooden and stiff, "From Antiva, right?"

She nodded.

"You're so lucky." Cosette's voice trembled slightly, but the smile remained glued to her face. "I love your accent. One of the enchanters in the Circle spoke like that. Antivan is such a lovely language."

It was.

It was so beautiful. 

But thinking of it made her ache for her homeland.

"How is he?" She asked, nodding to Hanin's sleeping form.

The forced smile fell, and Cosette looked down at him, "He's barely moved." She said in a whisper, touching his forehead.

"You two are close?" Serafina asked tentatively.

Cosette laughed a bit, wiping at her eyes, "He annoys me every moment of every day since we met." Her eyes were soft when she looked down at him, "But he's funny - and he always checks on me… half the time, I think he makes me angry just so he can come over and apologize."

Serafina nodded slowly, "I… knew someone like that once." 

Cosetee's looked up from Hanin, leaning forward, "You did?"

She did.

Always teasing and laughing - so loud there was never a question as to who precisely was making all the racket. So often would he startle her from behind only to pull her to him and kiss her neck. Or he might steal her clean apron and make her chase him for it, only for her to find a sweet in the pocket later. And the names - he would call her such ridiculous pet names to make her laugh so often that it became a habit he struggled to break. And since he was always laughing, everyone thought the whole thing was just a joke designed to irritate her.

"I did." She said, "A long time ago."

Cosette stayed quiet, seemingly waiting for Serafina to go on. When she offered no more, she returned to Hanin, "Nobody will even tell me if he's in any pain…"

Serafina looked at Hanin up and down. He seemed at peace, but…

"I can look."  

Cosette looked up in surprise, "You can do that?"

She nodded mutely.

"Please!" She gasped out.

Serafina nodded, leaning over the cart. She looked around to be sure nobody could see - then reminded herself of Duncan's assurances. With a deep breath, she hovered her hand over his chest.  

Pain may not have been the right word, but something was clearly wrong with him. It was as though everything in him was slowed, his blood slogging through some sort of infection that grew thick in his veins.

"Is it bad?" Cosette asked breathlessly.

"He's not in any actual pain..." Serafina said slowly, "I'm not sure what to call it."

Cosette chewed on her lip, "Ser Duncan said the Joining would save him… so he just has to hold out until then, right?"

"I... don't know." Serafina pulled her hands back, clasping her fingers together. "You'll have to ask Ethlam. He's the real healer."

Hanin stirred a bit, wincing. Cosette hushed him, "Rest, Hanin. Go to sleep."

"I…” Serafina wrung her hands, “I can help with that." Serafina said.

“You can?”

Serafina nodded, putting her hand on Hanin’s forehead and letting her magic whisper his mind calm. Hanin's face smoothed, and he let out a breath before stilling again.

"You're a wonder, Serafina." Cosette sighed out, seeming to finally relax, "Thank you."

"Oh…" Serafina rubbed her arms, "Really, it's nothing-"

"No, Serafina, it isn't." Cosette insisted, "You could tell what was happening inside of him - most mages can't do that. They can heal, but it's more… well, the magic does the work; the mage just puts the magic in. But Serafina, you can actually - 

The weight of Cosette's admiration bore down on Serafina's head and shoulders. She shifted her focus to her pants, tracing the individual fibers with her eyes. Left, right, up and down, the simple pattern slowly overriding the bright eyes watching her -

"Fina? Serafina, it’s Robin.”

The fibers blurred back into the simple brown of her pants, and Serafina finally noticed Robin beside her.

"There you are." She said, "Come on, let's pack our things." She looked over at Cosette, smiling reassuringly, "It's okay - this happens sometimes. Nothing you did." Robin gently touched Serafina's shoulder, "Come on, let's get our things packed."  

Things seemed very odd, and she wasn't sure she could get her legs under her. But Robin pulled her up, and she was surprised to find her legs held her up just fine. Robing grinned at her before looking back at Cosette, "Where's your tent? Serafina and I can get it. Someone needs to stay with Hanin, and you seem attentive enough."

The relief was clear as Cosette sighed and nodded.

Serafina felt herself smile at Robin's gentle way with people. But the moment of peace faded as they set out. The way Hanin's body had felt, fluids like sludge and solids seeming soft.

And she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

She just couldn't.

Mamma?

Prayer was all they had left.

Will you keep him company when he gets there?

Read the full fic from the beginning at my A03 here!

If you’re willing and able, feel free to donate to my ko-fi or drop a tip in the jar to help me afford my many medications to keep the crazy at bay!

#Serafina Tabris #The Sea the Stars and the Albatross #fanfiction #dragon age fanfiction #dragon age #dragon age origins #dragon age fic #dao #dao fanfic #dao fanfiction #Warden Robin #Cosette Amell #Alice Cousland #(hail to the queen) #Henrietta Brosca #Ulrich Aeducan #Hanin Mahariel #It's gonna be a super cool fun time #Everyone's going to be the best of friends and nothing bad will ever happen ever.