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#where robin is the troll
blogalreadydoesntexist · 10 months
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guys i havent seen any spider-(blank) movie, show, or comic, but that villain mf with an eerily similar name to the villain from the lorax is,,, fairly attractive and my best friend (whos way more into the series) is terrified of all of you
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virgamsysxvolumes · 10 months
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Reunion
The thing about Danny Phantom is that he is an absolute troll. Dani had to inherit it from somewhere after all and it wasn't going to be Vlad. So when he realized that the Batclan helping him rescue his human half from the GIW thought that they were rescuing his human lover and not his literal other half he absolutely hammed it up. He didn't realize until then that he was an excellent actor, but boy howdy did he have fun playing the distraught lover!
"Darling!" Phantom cried as he cradled his human in his arms. Danny Fenton was quite confused at first but a wide and familiar grin had him realizing this was a prank of some kind.
"Phantom! Did they hurt you?" Danny asked cupping his cheeks, he was a little more sincere in his question as that had been a very real concern for him. Phantom's face instantly softened.
"No, no. I got help from the human heroes around here. Are you okay? They had you for so long...They didn't do anything to you did they?" Phantom asked his aura flaring with warning. Danny shook his head quickly knowing his ghost half could get pretty vengeful without him to balance his emotions out.
"Nah, I'm good. They mostly just yelled at me a lot demanding your weaknesses or whatever. Like I'd tell them shit all about anything let alone you." Danny sighed rolling his eyes heavily.
"Let's not separate like this again for a while. I've been really out of it without you." Phantom admitted hugging his human half closely. Danny grinned like the little asshole he is.
"I don't know, there's at least one good thing about being separated like this." Danny prompted confusing Phantom.
"What could possibly be good about this?" Phantom huffed.
"Well, like this I get to look at you." Danny said his voice quivering with his need to hold in delighted laughter, especially when his ghost half burst into his own delighted laughter.
"Gay." Phantom accused with a cackle. The two laughed together a glow overtaking them both as they finally fused back together, their silliness resolved.
"Woah wait! What was that? Why are you possessing him?" Red Robin spoke up from where he had not been spying, what are you talking about?
"Huh? He's not possessing me. We're two halves of a whole, soulmates if you will." Danny explained with a little grin. "We're both here and both one. We fall apart without each other. This is the most comfortable way to keep each other close."
"...That's kinda romantic." Red Hood admitted mostly to himself and not where anyone else would have heard him.
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The press was going wild. Headlines like, "A bat unmasked?" and "Bat kid gone wild!" which Danny thought was uncalled for. He didn't even do anything that bad. All he did was rescue those kids and preformed a perfect flying kick to the mans jaw! He didn't even knock out a tooth!
Oh. And he wasn't even one of the bats.
Danny had only been in this dimension for a day and had no idea what was going on. He didn't actually have plans to stay in this world long so when he saw a guy around his own age being held hostage by guys in ski masks he just acted. He just flew invisibly to the hostage and took them.
By the time the captors realized thier hostage was missing they were long gone.
Turns out the guys name was Tim and he was rich, which honestly explains the kidnapping. Tim had a lot of questions and Danny just wanted to know where to drop Tim off at.
Later that night he gets to meet the bat himself and of course he trolls Batman and makes the man chase after him around the city. This turns out to be a big mistake. As Phantom Danny wouldn't dare use any of the fighting techniques his mother had thought him. His mother had trained in a very exclusive dojo by a legendary master who only ever took 7 pupils in his lifetime and his mom taught this stuff to Danny up until the accident. So if Phantom used these techniques his mom would know immediately that it was him.
But here no one knows who he is.
No one knows about him or Phantom.
And he doesn't plan to stay...so why not go ham? Thus Danny play fighting the bat across streets and rooftops, through bars and crowded shopping districts all while giving witty banter.
It probably didn't help that he was a very Robin shaped boy...so naturally all those photos of him and the dark knight wound up in the papers. Danny thought it was hilarious until he had his fill of chaos and tried to leave...only to realize he couldn't.
He was trapped in this dimension with the mess he made. Uh oh.
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mfshipbracket · 11 months
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welcome to ghost mod's thought experiment, the m/f ship bracket bonus round where every single m/f ship from the original round is pit against reylo of the 97/3 #shreksweep infamy.
why, you ask? mostly cuz of this.
they're going from lowest to highest per the original rankings, starting off with our newcomers adam/eve. 9 polls per day will roll out on queue throughout the est evening from may 12th-18th! after polls are closed one week later, i will post the final rankings of who swept the hardest (or failed to sweep...)
all polls can be found under the #bonus round tag, and this masterpost also contains links to each specific poll. there is also a spreadsheet with current bonus round standings and stats from the original bracket if you like numbers. :)
disclaimer: not a reylo hater. i'm just ardently devoted to the bit
DAY ONE
1. Adam/Eve (The Bible) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 2. Barbie/Ken (Barbie) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 3. Branch/Poppy (TROLLS) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 4. Hori/Kashima (Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 5. Naegi/Kirigiri (Dangan Ronpa) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 6. Fakir/Ahiru (Princess Tutu) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 7. Jake/Amy (Brooklyn 99) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 8. Sonic/Amy (Sonic the Hedgehog) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 9. Vax'ildan/Keyleth (Critical Role/TLOVM) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)
DAY TWO
10. Barry Bluejeans/Lup (The Adventure Zone: Balance) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 11. Westley/Buttercup (The Princess Bride) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 12. Lucas/Max (Stranger Things) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 13. Bella Swan/Edward Cullen (Twilight) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 14. Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa (Six of Crows) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 15. Zagreus/Megaera (Hades) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 16. Greg/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 17. Orpheus/Eurydice (Hadestown) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 18. Sans/Toriel (Undertale) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)
DAY THREE
19. Megamind/Roxanne (Megamind) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 20. Inuyasha/Kagome (Inuyasha) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 21. Mamoru/Usagi (Sailor Moon) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 22. Anne/Gilbert (Anne with an E) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 23. Mako/Raleigh (Pacific Rim) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 24. Nancy/Jonathan (Stranger Things) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 25. Wanda/Vision (Marvel/MCU) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 26. Aragorn/Arwen (Lord of the Rings) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 27. Rayla/Callum (The Dragon Prince) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)
DAY FOUR
X. Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars VS King Charles/Camilla (United Kingdom) 28. Anakin/Padme (Star Wars) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 29. Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sharma (Bridgerton) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 30. Percy/Vex'ahlia (Critical Role/TLOVM) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 31. Kyo/Tohru (Fruits Basket) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 32. Batman/Catwoman (DC) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 33. Tenth Doctor/Rose (Doctor Who) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 34. Cassian/Jyn (Star Wars) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 35. Joyce/Hopper (Stranger Things) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 36. Aang/Katara (ATLA) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)
DAY FIVE
37. Mermista/Seahawk (She-ra and the Princesses of Power) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 38. Robin/Starfire (DC/Teen Titans) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 39. Tamaki/Haruhi (Ouran High School Host Club) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 40. Mulder/Scully (The X-Files) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 41. Glimmer/Bow (She-ra and the Princesses of Power) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 42. Zuko/Katara (ATLA) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 43. Steven/Connie (Steven Universe) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 44. Han/Leia (Star Wars) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 45. Beast Boy/Raven (DC/Teen Titans) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)
DAY SIX
46. Edward/Winry (Fullmetal Alchemist) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 47. Peter/MJ (Marvel/MCU) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 48. Katniss/Peeta (The Hunger Games) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 49. Marinette/Adrien (Miraculous Ladybug) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 50. Kim Possible/Ron Stoppable (Kim Possible) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 51. Darcy/Elizabeth (Pride and Prejudice) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 52. Roy/Riza (Fullmetal Alchemist) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 53. Miles Morales/Gwen Stacy (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 54. Zelda/Link (Zelda Series) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)
DAY SEVEN
55. Twilight/Yor (Spy X Family) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 56. Sokka/Suki (ATLA) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 57. Hunter/Willow (The Owl House) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 58. Chidi/Eleanor (The Good Place) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 59. Ms. Piggy/Kermit (The Muppets) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 60. Rapunzel/Eugene (Tangled) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 61. Howl/Sophie (Howl’s Moving Castle) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 62. Percy/Annabeth (Percy Jackson Series) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars) 63. Morticia/Gomez (The Addams Family) VS Kylo Ren/Rey (Star Wars)
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Secret's Out
Bruce Wayne x plus size gn!reader
Bruce gets a crush on Dick’s tutor but is hesitant on letting them into his life because of you know, the whole running around as a bat thing.
Warnings: FLUFF, references to struggling in school, the usual batman injuries and angst
WC: 1.4k
Minors DNI
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The life of the Batman was often lonely. Late nights and early mornings meant Bruce didn’t have a lot of time for anything other than his son and making rare appearances in public so a relationship was out of the question. But dear god did he crave that intimacy.
He wanted to wake up beside someone, have someone share the load of being a parent to a very energetic child with him. And sex, but that goes without saying. But there was too much at risk. What if they got hurt because of his nightly activities? If he shared his secret would they leave him and expose it to the public? Would they break Dick’s heart?
So he resolved to be lonely for the rest of his life. It was too bad that his heart had a mind of its own though.
Dick had been struggling in school, he found it difficult to connect to the other kids in Gotham Academy and thus his grades were slipping. After a particularly heartbreaking melt down from the small boy after another child rejected his friendship, Bruce and Alfred had a very difficult conversation. 
They decided that homeschooling one on one with a tutor for at least a semester would help Dick become more secure in his academics and interact with someone outside of his family. So, each night, while Batman and Robin cleaned up the streets of Gotham, Alfred trolled through the internet and newspapers, trying to find someone suitable for his grandson.
Eventually, he did. You had more than enough qualifications, a masters in education with specialisation in science and english, a long list of glowing recommendations, and a small collection of special skills that made him smile. Dick had been wary when they approached him about you, he was scared that this new teacher would treat him the same as the others, pushing him down and making him feel bad about himself.
But after a long trip to the Gotham pier complete with him and his father consuming their weight in ice-cream, he came around. And thank god he did.
You were a life-saver. You not only became his teacher but you also became his best friend, his confidant, his greatest supporter and his partner in crime. The usually silent and morose halls of the manor were now filled with the childish giggles of his son, a sound that had been gone since Bruce himself was that young.
You also became a shoulder for Bruce to lean on. You joked around with him, getting him to actually smile and not the usual cocky grin he used in public. A real smile that made his cheeks hurt and his chest warm with affection. You were brilliant at helping around the house and organising galas, which wasn’t part of your job description yet you still helped.
He hated when you left for the day, getting in your crappy car that you refused to let him replace with a newer model, to travel back into the city where you lived. He wished he could have you live with them but it was too risky. He couldn’t have you learning about the Bat.
Tonight had been tough to say the least. The penguin had gotten a damn good shot in and now Bruce was sporting at least two broken ribs and a wicked bruise around his abdomen. Dick was also very sick, a bad stomach bug that Bruce blamed himself for because it was raining the night before and they still had gone out. And to top it all off, Alfred was on vacation.
Too consumed with his mission, he had called you. He asked if you would spend the night with Dick since he had an emergency he had to attend to and wasn’t sure when he would be home. You didn’t hesitate in answering with a resounding yes. You walked into the house barely ten minutes later (you definitely broke some speed limits driving over) with a bag full of medicine and tolerable food for the young boy.
“I should be back by morning. Are you sure you’ll be ok by yourself?” His veins were alight with nerves, this was now so far past the line of professionalism he had promised you when you were first hired. You just smiled kindly at him as you laid out your supplies in the guest bedroom closest to Dick.
“I’ll be fine and so will Dick. I’ll call you if something happens but I honestly doubt that it will.” Bruce sighed, a weight lifting from his chest. “Go on, we’ll be ok.” He nodded and turned to leave the room but not before hearing you call out, “Stay safe.”
He wished he had just called in Clark for tonight. He was distracted, worried about his boy, worried about what your words meant. He decided to call it an early night after ensuring that Penguin was safely in the hands of the GPD, he crawled back to the cave. Maybe if Dick was still awake, they could all watch a movie together to lift his spirits. 
As the batmobile rolled into its designated space in the cave, Bruce noticed that the many computer screens had been turned on and were flicking through various security camera footage. Had Alfred come home early and taken his place as overseer of Gotham? No, he would have been with you and Dick if he had returned.
And Dick was too sick to make it down the stairs from his room let alone get into the secret elevator that he was still too short to reach the button for on his own. That left only one plausible option.
The blue light from the screens illuminated your face beautifully, bathing you in a gentle glow that made his heart beat faster in his chest. “Welcome home, Bruce.” You softly called out, your voice both tired and slightly teasing. 
“How’d you figure it out?” Your hand came to rest on your considerable chest as you gasped in offended shock. The action made the butterflies in his stomach swirl in a storm of pure tenderness. His mind was yelling at him that there was no way to know if you could be trusted but his heart yearned for you, wanting to spill all of his secrets at your feet.
“Mr Wayne! I am not as dumb as I look!” He chuckled, shuffling closer. The blanket that had been draped around your shoulders slipped down, pooling around your wide hips. You smirked at the taller man as he came closer, coming to a stop right in front of you, the tips of your bare feet touching his armoured ones. “Besides, who else has the money and technology to be Batman but you?! Also, you always disappear mid-parties, leaving me to the wolves.” You shrugged.
“I figured it out about two days after you hired me, Dick also talks in his sleep.” Bruce sighed, releasing a breathy laugh. He pulled his cowl off, not missing the way your breath caught in your throat at the sight revealed before you. His dark hair stuck up in a hundred different directions, his bright blue eyes shining in the dim light of the computers.
“And you haven’t told anyone?” You shook your head.
“Who would I tell, besides this is the best paying job I’ve had in years, I’m not giving this up just because my boss likes to run around like a depressed Superman.” His smile fell into a very immature pout.
“I’m not a depressed Superman, he’s a bootleg Batman.” You threw your head back in laughter. Bruce couldn’t help but chuckle along with you, glad to have this huge secret out in the open. He could share the burden on his shoulders with someone he was coming to truly care about.
Your laughter soon died out into the occasional giggle that made his heart skip a beat. “Well then, let’s get you patched up and tucked into bed with your boy.” You slipped from his chair, grabbing the pre prepared first aid kit on the desk as you did so. “I do have one condition about this whole thing.”
Like the lovesick puppy he was, Bruce followed you to the medical bed in the corner, eager to agree with anything you would ask if it meant you stayed. “Anything.” He replied without hesitation.
“Get me Aqua-man’s autograph, I think he’s really hot.” 
“You what?!” But you just laughed and walked away, leaving him in a pool of self-pity and unwavering adoration. Maybe, just maybe he wouldn’t be alone anymore. After he killed Aqua-man of course.
Request: She cracked the identity of Batman. “Come on, who else has the money and technology to be Batman but you?! Also, you always disappears mid-parties too many times.”
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Pour Your Misery Down Pt. 3
M, Detective!Steve Lawyer!Eddie deals with dark themes, working a murder case, language/sexual content. Will most likely be bumped to E in the next part.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
The files had been sent over with both Chrissy and Hopper following along to Steve’s initial intake of the case a few years back. They had spent the night trolling through databases for similar open cases.
Steve and Chrissy were running off of caffeine and fumes when Eddie walked in first thing in the morning with their warrant. Chrissy looked up at him from where she was hunched over her desk and made grabby hands at the official paper, “You absolute earth angel.” She breathed out.
Steve’s own gaze came up to meet his, “Seriously this is great, I need to get out of this precinct.” He said as he rubbed his red rimmed whiskey brown eyes.
Eddie looked between them, “You both look a little gollum-esque right now. Ya good? Going to find your precious?”
Steve snorted, “You’re a big nerd.” He stated softly.
Eddie narrowed his eyes at him, “Tolkien is hardly nerd culture after all the movies. And Zeppelin.”
Steve laughed a little brighter.
It was contagious. Making Eddie’s own lips curl up at the edges. He thought back to what he and Robin had talked about last night. If he could keep making Harrington laugh there wouldn’t even be loathing or hate clouding his silly workplace enamorment.
“I bet you have like signed copies and have visited New Zealand for the hobbit holes, wait, counselor-“ Steve continued as Chrissy laughed as well.
“Oh my god, he went to New Zealand last March!” Chrissy said between fits of giggles.
“For other reasons too, Cunningham!” Eddie retorted at his friend’s betrayal.
“-Counselor, do you play DnD?” Steve asked.
Chrissy lost it.
“You two are terrible. I was gonna offer to grab you both some breakfast, but you deserve this with your slap-happy mean girl shtick.” He griped at them.
“Aw, Eddie-“ Chrissy started in on him.
Steve caught his breath and gave him the kind of smile that rivaled the sunshine peeking through on an abysmally gloomy day, “Some of my best friends play, it’s just- it makes more sense.”
Eddie realized detective Harrington’s usual wall was down due to his lack of sleep. The filter less defined.
“Did either of you sleep last night?” Eddie followed up.
Chrissy shook her head, “Think we might have a break. The warrant will help.” She slipped into her jacket as Steve followed suit.
“You sure you don’t need breakfast?” He asked letting some concern edge into his voice.
Chrissy shook her head, “No time, but thanks Eds. We’ll grab something on the way.”
She nodded at Steve to follow her.
Steve turned and looked back at Eddie, “Thanks again counselor.” He said with a soft smile.
“Just doing my job detective.” Eddie replied trying not to be caught up in the unique beauty that was Steve Harrington.
Steve spoke to his prior Chief of Police from Detroit on their way to the vehicle still parked close to the site where the most recent victim was found. The white ’95 volvo was still untouched and hopefully filled with something Steve and Chrissy could use.
The files sent to them had theories and a loose profile. If the killings had continued they were close to calling in the Feds to assist. The media loved a serial killer. Steve understood how easily things could be sensationalized. He still had an inkling the letters were meant for him. From who? He had no clue but had been sifting through people from his past for upwards of twenty-four hours now and wasn’t coming up with anything more concrete. He convinced himself it was crazy to even think he was a common denominator.
Chrissy took the crowbar from her trunk, “Let’s test doors first, and if we need to use this we will.”
Steve held onto the crowbar and pulled out the long metal slim jim he had taken from the precinct, “Or we could just jimmy this in to unlock it and avoid all damage to evidence?”
Chrissy hummed a response, “I guess we can do it your way.”
Steve chuckled at her sarcastically blasé attitude about defacing the only evidence they currently had. The forensic team would be arriving on their tail but he and Chrissy wanted to get a solid intake of the vehicle before their arrival.
The two circled the vehicle and took a few photos from the outside. Parking violation tickets littered the windshield. The inside of the car was fairly clean, Chrissy waved him to the driver side to unlock the door. He shimmied the long metal rod down until the telltale click sounded out.
Chrissy had already dusted and recorded the driver side door handle for any usable prints. Once the vehicle was impounded it would go through a more thorough procedure.
Both detectives had gloves on to keep from tampering with evidence. Steve opened the door and peered inside. The car smelled like cleaning products. This was days after the body was found. The scent of bleach still lingered.
They exchanged a look, “Wait for forensics?” Steve prompted.
Chrissy nodded, “We could really use some solid evidence and this is our only stepping stone outside of the letters.”
One thing that caught Steve’s eye was the fun size bag of skittles and a few wrappers of the same candy in the center console drink holder. His immediate connection a childhood friend- but.
That was only because he almost always had the candy on hand.
The thought swirled through his thoughts as the forensic van parked infront of the white car. He could feel the lack of sleep seeping into his thoughts and movements, like he was swimming against mud and getting stuck along the way.
Chrissy looked as if she was feeling the same way as she supervised the gathering of evidence, “Make sure to test any and all trash found in the vehicle, nothing gets left unturned!” she piped up to the trio with high tech gear to comb through the vehicle.
Steve still had that vague feeling lf recognition, like a memory trying to resurface from the ethers of his mind, “You good Harrington?” She asked from next to him.
Steve nodded, “Had a friend who almost always had a bag of skittles with him. Weird thing to remember, right?”
She pursed her lips together and studied his face.
“Maybe, what made you think of it?” She answered.
Steve shrugged one shoulder, “Honestly just the skittles, random.”
Random, or not. He thought to himself. Knowing he’d look into it once he was home. No reason to raise a red flag on someone’s life for no reason. Especially for something as deranged as these murders.
The forensic team popped open the trunk. Steve and Chrissy standing close behind them. The subtle smell of bleach now glaringly obvious.
“How much you wanna bet they find traces of blood?” Chrissy mused.
Steve nodded, “It would be lucky for us. Dumb of the killer to make this size of a miss step.”
“They clearly wanted our attention.” Chrissy added.
Steve noticed that she said our, what he was worried about was it was a cry for his. He thought back to the note Hopper had shown them,
See me.
Steve stood there as evidence was gathered and pictures taken from every angle.
He willed himself to see.
He kept thinking of the damn skittles wrappers.
Only so much could be done until evidence was tested, sent to the lab, and ran through the system. An awful waiting game as another man could be taken during the mix of all this.
Steve came home in the evening well over twenty-four hours away from the apartment. Robin still on her laptop finishing up her work for the day.
“What’s shakin’ over-tired baby bacon?” She asked as she removed her headset.
Steve let himself fall face first into the couch and groaned into the pillows, “Anyone you can think of hate my guts or obsessed with me enough to kill about it and beg for my attention?”
Robin started laughing, “Sorry, sorry, just the wording fucking got me right in my funny bone.”
Steve huffed a half hearted laugh into the pillow.
“Nah, I don’t think so…” She trailed off as she closed her laptop.
Steve situated himself into an upright position.
“I gotta cook, I’m gonna get scurvy if I have take out for another meal.” He said wearily.
Robin nodded, “I defrosted some chicken breasts in the fridge.”
He pushed himself up to stand and shuffled over to her, kissing the top of her head, “I’m gonna make us the best chicken sandwiches, we still have the ciabatta?”
“Yes, you sure you wanna cook?”
“Yeah it’ll be good for me to try to switch gears.” He answered truthfully, hoping the motions would quiet his mind.
Steve seasoned and baked the chicken breasts. While in the oven he ground and mixed basil and minced garlic into mayonnaise to spread on the toasted ciabatta. He picked out the best pieces left of their lettuce and started to assemble the sandwiches.
It wasn’t a fully fledged meal but it was better than the carry out he’d been sustaining on for two days. He took out his phone and thumbed through his barely used Facebook. He never updated but the random small town acquaintances often did. Their growing families and Hawkins pride sprawled across their pages.
Robin entered the kitchen, “Who you looking up?”
“No one, really.” But buried deep in a memory was a childhood friend.
When Steve had come out the guy had been abnormally angry with him. It was the divide that brought him closer to Robin all those years ago. It denoted on his Facebook he was still married. Tagged by his wife in various family outings.
Steve tucked the phone away.
The letters being sent to the precincts had nothing to do with him. You couldn’t always use reason and logic with those with Antisocial Personality Disorder. Their whole approach was a game put together to elicit reactions.
He plated up his and Robin’s food, “I love you but you’re looking exhausted to the point of slightly unhinged.”
“Sweet talker.” Steve winked as Robin laughed.
“This is probably one of the best sandwiches I’ve ever had. I’m embarrassed that I could literally eat a spoonful of this mayo.” Robin said as she took her time savoring the food.
“I have a shift tonight, want me to crawl in bed with you when I’m off?” She ask as she licked her fingers of any mayonnaise that had dripped from the bread.
Steve blew out a deep breath, “Uh, nah, if I’m asleep just leave me. Gonna shower and hopefully pass out. Apologies in advance I gotta keep my ringer turned on.”
“No problem, I’m gonna go change then I’ve gotta get my ass on public transit. Love you, dingus."
“Love you too, Robs.”
Robin had the weird feeling of being watched all night. She tended to her regulars and the other patrons same as she always did but the hair on the back of her neck stood up more than a few times. She scanned the bar trying to pin where the unsettling feeling was sprouting from.
She shook out her messy slightly overgrown bob. The night wore on as the crowd thinned out. Eventually it was last call. Once it was locked up and ready to leave she found a coaster haphazardly shoved in her purse.
She gently slid it out.
In neat black ink was scrawled,
Why’d he choose you?
You’re not special.
You’re nothing compared to him.
He shines and you dull him.
I’ll make him see.
Her stomach dropped. The air in her lungs felt as if it had evaporated.
She didn’t want to wake Steve but deep down she knew who the him was. She hid herself behind the bar the feeling of being watched still haunting her as she hit call on his contact. Within moments he answered, “Detective Harrington.” His voice sleep mussed come through.
“Detective dingus, what do I do if I might have evidence?” Her own words wavered. She couldn’t deny how nervous she was.
“Robin? What’s wrong. What happened?”
She told him as he urged her to stay where she was.
Steve texted Chrissy about the incident. On the way in the Lyft he got a phone call, “What exactly happened?” She asked sounding just as sleepy as Steve still was.
“She told me she had an unsettled feeling all night and locked up. When she went to grab her bag there was something not quite tucked into it, on a coaster something was written. I need to see if it’s the same handwriting- nothing can happen to Robin. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” Steve felt the thick guilty emotion rise in his throat.
He couldn’t keep denying this killer was focusing on him. He was the common thread tethering the Detroit cases to the New York ones.
“We’ll make sure your friend is safe, set her up in a hotel or something. Keep her protected.” Steve heard her movements and the jingle of what sounded like keys, “I’m meeting you there. We need statements and please let there be video footage we can pull-“ Chrissy rattled off.
“Just pulling up now, I have my phone on- I’ve got gloves and an evidence bag. I- I just need to make sure Rob’s okay.” Steve said as he got out of the ride share and hurried to the door of the bar.
This time of night was less busy on the street but in his haste to get to Robin a guy in a light grey hoodie shoulder checked him. The man held onto Steve’s arm to keep them upright, “Sorry.” Steve sighed out.
The other man squeezed his arm briefly before letting go, “Don’t worry about it, man.” The voice familiar in a way Steve couldn’t capture.
He was gone before anything could register. Walking down the city block and disappearing as he turned the corner.
Steve texted Robin about his arrival as she made her way to the front to unlock the door to let him in.
She pulled him in for a hug, “I’m so sorry I didn’t want to wake you, but I didn’t wanna fuck anything up if this is important too.”
Steve held onto her tight, “Don’t ever hesitate to call me Robs.” He said as he kept hold.
His phone chimed, he knew Chrissy lived close to the neighborhood he hadn’t realized just how close.
“My partner’s here, let’s let her in.” Steve said as they broke the hug.
Robin discreetly wiped under her eyes, “You didn’t tell me cute partner was coming, do I look like a mess?”
“Currently that’s the least of our concerns. But you look good, so, deep breath- and I’m gonna let Chrissy in.” Steve said as he turned to do just that.
Chrissy pulled up to the bar and immediately recognized it as one of Eddie’s haunts. She had grabbed a night cap with him once as he told her about the bartender her preferred to the one who had served them and her wry sense of humor. She wondered if he was referring to Robin. She shook the thought as she was let in by Steve.
His friend was positioned behind him and Chrissy couldn’t help but notice that Robin was pretty even when being faced with something nerve-wracking. Her freckles danced over the bridge of her nose, a gold septum piercing glinting in the low light, and her eyes were a stormy blue.
She was taller than Chrissy, which wasn’t hard to do, from what Chrissy had gathered from Steve’s stories about Robin it was hard not to like her upon first meetings. It seemed to be true even under dire circumstances.
The three of them walked behind the bar to Robin’s purse as she recounted to them about her night.
Chrissy slipped on her gloves before grabbing the coaster, she cleared her throat and read out what was written in the same scrawl of the other notes. Steve stood stock still. He was ready to voice his sinking thought,
“It’s for me.” He broke the heavy silence.
A crashing noise jarred all three of them into action, Chrissy had tackled Robin to protect her behind the bar as she unholstered her gun in a swift movement. Steve’s own gun out and pointed to the door as he crouched behind the bar.
He slowly came up to see glass shattered but no other signs of entry aside from what appeared to be a cement cinderblock. Robin was breathing in quick bursts under Chrissy as she eased up and off of her she held a hand out to help Robin up.
Steve went back around to try and run out and catch a glimpse of who the culprit was. When he came back around Chrissy was holding a steadying hand on Robin's bicep and getting her to calibrate her breathing to something less frantic. Steve made the call to the precinct.
Evidence had been gathered, the bar owner had been called in and handed over any and all video security footage hoping to have caught whoever broke the glass or left the note to be caught in some capacity.
Steve escorted Robin with himself and Chrissy to the station. Making sure she’d be set up in a safe place while he gathered some things for her,
“We’ll get you situated at a nearby hotel- do not argue.” Steve stopped her before she could start, “I’ll gather your things, text me a list of needs and we'll drop them off for you. You will be kept in the loop, yes- I’ll be safe. You’re my priority.” He finally got everything out to only minor looks of outrage on Robin’s face.
“But you’re my priority, dingus.” She said fiercely.
Chrissy stepped in, “I promise to go with him, we have each other’s back. This is obviously more entangled with Steve than we originally thought when this case started.” Her tone calm as Robin nodded along.
“Okay, just, he means a lot to me.” Robin said resolutely keeping her voice from getting clogged with her emotions.
Chrissy reached for Robin’s hand and squeezed, “I get it.” She said kindly.
Steve and Chrissy were at Robin’s apartment gathering her list of things, “I think I have an idea of who it could be from my past. I kept wanting to write it off as coincidental and obviously wouldn’t want to ruin someone’s life over the accusation.” Steve said voice firm as he packed a few comfort items away for his friend.
“Obsession is using the word lightly if this is the way they’re trying to get your attention.” She said as she took in his and Robin’s living space.
She felt like a voyeur seeing what Robin’s home looked like under these circumstances. It was quirky but all worked together, it fit with the stories she knew of her from Steve, and definitely with the aesthetic of the person she saw earlier. She couldn’t help but be drawn to someone who loved their friend with such a force.
“I know we need your statements and you need to start unearthing some information to compile a list of suspects, do you want to go see Robin or get back to the station?” Chrissy asked.
Steve took a deep breath, “Um, station. If they’re following me or keeping tabs I don’t want to lead them right back to her.”
“Fair.” They walked down to the car, “I’ll drop you at the precinct and bring the bag for her.”
“Thank you, give her a hug from me?” He asked and then paused, “Fuck, maybe that’d be awkward.” He chuckled.
So he had noticed.
Chrissy’s cheeks pinked up, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, detective.”
“I’m sure you don’t, detective.” Steve said back in a lighter tone.
The two of them laughing softly, finding a bright moment amongst the stress and events of the early morning.
Steve stepped right in while back at the station. The hours passed quickly as he was informed of evidence gathered from the car had produced a partial print and was still waiting on the DNA swabs for the blood that had been detected. The print would have been great news had it been a match to anyone in the system. It felt like another dead end. He gave his own statements in the time line from his phone call from Robin to present.
Eventually he made his way to the security tapes. They were being reviewed by Mayfield when Steve pulled up a chair, “Anything yet?” He asked his coworker with the long deep red hair.
“Nothing in the obvious time stamps, but maybe you’d have better eyes for this, see something I’m not.” She added.
See me, replaying in Steve’s mind.
“I need to grab some caffeine, but I’ll stop back in a bit.” Mayfield said as she gathered a jacket and was on her way out quickly.
Steve started the footage from the time stamp for a half hour before Robin’s shift began and let it play. He made notes on a loose sheet of paper for anything that initially caught his eye and the exact time on the clock in the corner of the screen for each instance.
He kept replaying in areas that caught his attention.
A man in a hoodie caught his eye.
It was the same man who had bumped into him when he arrived at the bar. It stood out too much to be a coincidence.
Someone sat quietly next to him. He didn’t even take his eyes off the screen, “Mayfield, check this out- did you notice this guy?”
“Not Mayfield.” A distinctly make voice responded.
Steve finally snapped his eyes away from the screen, “Counselor, just dropping in? Cunningham wont be back for a little while.”
“Actually looking for you, Lieu and Chrissy were having a discussion earlier about you not going back to the apartment you’ve been staying at for safety, and called it risky to put you in the same hotel as your friend so- if you want accommodations I have a spare bedroom.” The man was impeccably dressed with his long hair neatly tied back his demeanor towards Steve had beeb shifting, “Full disclosure I’m a semi-regular at the bar that got targeted, seems we know someone in common.”
“Robs?” Steve asked still feeling  slow on the uptake.
“Your Robs is my bartender, Robbie. Small world.” Eddie said going for nonchalant.
Inside he was spiraling when he found out- he had bitched to Robin about Steve. She still didn’t know that Steve was that new colleague but she would soon enough. He was hoping they’d be able to laugh it off. Move past it, ignore it.
He hated the idea of having to find a new haunt.
“So?” Eddie prompted.
Steve shook his head, “You sure about that? I should be fine back at-“
Eddie made a game show buzzer noise as he leaned back in his chair, “Wrong answer, try again.”
“Or the precinct can set me up at a hotel, or I can snag one of the offices in here with a couch and grab a pillow-“ Steve listed off.
“My company that bad?” Eddie teased.
Steve rolled his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought it wasn't Eddie's company he was worried about. It was more his own growing attraction to the man, “Yeah, okay. It’s just I probably won't sleep much and I’d hate to be a disturbance.”
“I think we’ll manage.” Eddie said in a firm voice leaving no room for arguments, “How long have you been sifting through video footage?” He asked redirecting Steve again.
“Let me play a few clips for you?” Steve replied.
Eddie nodded on board for whatever. Chrissy and Hop had briefed him that the murderer had some direct tie to Steve. Even brought him up to speed on the cases and notes from Detroit. If it got to a jury it’d be a hell of a trial. As an inside perspective for whatever reason he wanted to help and if helping meant letting Steve crash at his place, well he wasn’t complaining about some forced proximity with the handsome man.
His eyes glued to the screen as it cut from one time stamp to the next Steve had queued. Eddie tapped Steve’s arm, “The guy in the hoodie, he’s in the bar and then walking past the bar-“
Steve cut him off, “Thank fuck you see it too. Thought my eyes were getting blurry from staring too long.”
He flagged what he needed to in the security tapes and added it to the ever growing pile of evidence. He silently hoped this lead would bring them somewhere in the case.
“Just out of frame he knocked into me when I was rushing out of my Lyft to get to Robs. He held his arm out and steadied me. For the life of me I cannot remember a single thing about his face. It can't be a coincidence.” Steve tacked on.
Eddie nodded, “You need to catch some rest.”
“Well I should probably finish up here and go through any partial matches they got from the system with the facial recognition- if there’s anything usable here, his face is obscured by the hood. Such a fucking mess.” Steve said the last part more quietly.
The weight of a hand rested on his shoulder, “It’s almost eight, you’ve been up and on the case since… just past two in the morning…that’s around eighteen hours.” The hand squeezed more solidly, “Stop. Turn off your work for now. Come to my place and get some rest.” His voice had an edge to it that was soothing to Steve, the slight command in taking charge had his shoulders relaxing.
“Hopper needs you at your best to catch the guy. Not sleep deprived. Come on Steve, let’s get you home.” Eddie said, he knew he was toeing a line here but Steve seemed to finally let his shoulders melt down from where they had been up to his ears a moment before.
God, Eddie wished he could bring him home and take him apart.
But that wasn’t on the table and the man clearly needed rest.
“Let’s turn your brain off for a bit. What’d’ya say? I’ve got a bottle of Macallan waiting to be cracked open.”
Steve felt the counselor’s voice like a balm to his overtired brain, he nodded, the weight of the past eighteen hours coming down and making it hard for him to even keep his eyes open, “Yeah, counselor sounds good. I didn’t pack my stuff, might need to borrow some sweats if that’s alright.”
The thought of Steve in Eddie’s clothing sent a slight thrill through the well dressed lawyer. He couldn’t wait to see him soft and sprawled on Eddie’s couch. He hated himself for wanting this. Any version of it he could capture.
“That’s just fine, big boy, let’s get ya to a couch before you crash here.” His voice softer as he stood and held up Steve's jacket for him to slide his arms into. The gesture more intimate than he meant it to be.
Too familiar.
Eddie didn’t know exactly what he was winding himself up in, but let his impulsive streak win, right now he didn’t care.
Hiiiii babieeees, someone gets to have a sleepover at Eddie's swanky place in the next part 🤭💕 this will firmly turn to E for sexual content and most likely the progress of the case so just a heads up! Thanks for following along so far! I'll keep it tagged as PYMDsteddie.
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tabithian · 5 months
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The JayTim AU where Jason lives and Tim never becomes Robin, but he still knows everyone's identities and so on?
Attends all the boring galas and fundraisers with his parents when he's a kid. So of course Tim meets meets Brucie and his kids and it's like oh, no, because that time Robin saved Tim from falling off the rusty fire escape and then proceeded to give him shit for running around Gotham at night?
And then Tim goes on to run Drake Industries, blah blah blah and just.
Knows.
But in that way the Bats never quite know how much he knows? And DI has its share of mad scientists/disgruntled employees no matter how good they are to their employees.
(It's Gotham, of course they do.)
Bruce dragging his kids to WE meetings (if he has to suffer through them, so do they) and Tim is just.
One hundred percent trolling them the whole time whenever one of those meetings involve a joint project WE and DI are working on?
Something to better Gotham, blah blah blah, and Jason is like.
Usually the poor sap Bruce drags to these things because Dick's in Bludhaven or whatever all lol?
But.
Jason's involved with various charities and so on and he's not really not interested in running WE one day? But some of the charities he's involved with also intersect with something DI's doing and idk, details I can't be bothered with, plus it's kind of fun watching Tim and Bruce trolling one another/their respective boards and so on?
ANYWAY.
Yes.
But also Tim being a target for various mad scientists/disgruntled employees and being rescued by Bats - somehow Jason's the one who winds up drawing the short straw there because Tim Drake is a goddamned menace, okay.
Gets in trouble all the damn time? Doesn't know when to keep his trap shut and not antagonize his kidnappers and Jason is just.
So done, okay?
So fucking done with this idiot.
Meanwhile Tim's just living his best life while tormenting Bruce and the Bats and whatever Evil Villain(TM) thinks he makes an easy target.
All these rumors floating around about Tim dating one of the Wayne kids although it's just the tabloids/rumor mill doing their thing and Tim ~flirting with Jason because he's adorable when flustered?
Just.
General shenanigans and the occasional thing where Tim finds an injured Bat on his balcony when he gets a penthouse in the city somewhere?
Like.
*SIGH*
Because it's usually Jason and he's also the worst? What with the sass and the snark and the bleeding everywhere thing he does.
But also the thing where Tim and Jason with their little ~flirtation and the others off to the side with popcorn watching their idiots being idiots at one another?
Bruce throwing Jason under the bus at meetings because it's so painful watching Jason and Tim with their ~flirtation?
Meetings about how to get more/better funding to charity projects already in action or Jason wants to get off the ground that run late, and oh hey, maybe they should grab some takeout?
Suit jackets being taking off because wow, it's just them, and then sleeves getting rolled up and idk, okay.
Things and stuff.
(Like an oh, no, forearms kind of thing rather than the more damning oh no, he's hot scenario okay? Idk, man.)
ALSO.
Lucius and Tim are totally BFFs and often commiserate about having to deal with Brucie all the time? Because the man is the absolute worst liar either of them has ever met and his kids aren't much better.
/o\
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thestobingirlie · 5 months
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Robin stole Steve’s red sweater. He bitches about it but never actually asks for it back. They now have a little joke where, rather than just telling Robin that it’s cold out, Steve will enquire after the sweater’s well-being. I haven’t seen I for a while - is it doing okay?
Robin wore it once in Dustin’s presence, observed the meltdown he was clearly experiencing (Steve drive him to the Snow Ball in that sweater - he *knows* that sweater!) and now uses it to troll him (“what are you *talking* about? This isn’t Steve’s, my aunt knit this for me last Christmas!”)
robin deserves all of steve’s cute sweaters. and she’d look so good his red s2 sweater.
obsessed with steve’s bitchy little: “how’s my sweater doing? is she okay with all this cold weather recently? no moths?”
dustin would start obsessively cataloguing all of stobin’s clothes, so he’d always know when they’ve swapped. what’s he doing with all that information? …don’t worry about it.
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redgoldsparks · 6 months
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September Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe
I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.
The Princess and the Grilled Cheese by Deya Muniz 
Lady Camembert is the only child of Count Camembert, but as a daughter she cannot inherit unless she marries. She refuses, and after her father's death takes up a different life in the capital city, far from her hometown: she pretends to be the male heir to her father's title. This feels like the perfect solution, except then she meets Princess Brie, and as feelings begin to develop between them, Cam despairs that her secret identity means she can never be anything more than friends with the Princess. This is a beautifully drawn book, sweet and silly, full of cheese puns and historical anachronisms.
The Yakuza’s Bias vol 1 by Teki Yatsuda 
Yakuza member Ken Kanashiro's life is changed when the daughter of the clan leader he works for takes him along to a kpop concert. Ken is moved by the kpop idol group's commitment, hard work, passion, and loyalty to each other and their fans. His introduction to fandom, and new social media friends, bring a breath of fresh air into his violent and dangerous life... and like most fervent fans, he starts trying to convince the people around him to stan the group to greater or lesser success. This manga series is very much in the same tone as Way of the House Husband but I appreciated the slightly longer chapters and the growing ensemble cast. It's a silly concept but with moments of genuine feeling as it shows how loving something can connect you to a whole new community.
Of Thunder and Lightning by Kimberly Wang
This is a beautiful, meta deconstruction of battle-robot manga; it plays with POV, with format, and theme. Two corporate nations struggle for dominance in a ruined world. Each spreads propaganda about the other; each has developed a pop-star like AI robot avatar, which battle each other in televised combat with custom costumes and snappy catch phrases. These robots, Magni and Dimo, exist only to destroy each other, but also find in each other their only equal. They both savor their violent encounters, but both are pushed by their creators and handlers to destroy the other. The story is half devastating elegance, half tongue-in-cheek satire. This title is most easily available through the publisher's website and I highly recommend it.
Blackward by Lawrence Lindell 
Four friends, Lika, Amor, Lala, and Tony, bonded in a bookclub over being Black, queer, weird and punk. They clearly see the need for a community space for folks like themselves, but struggle with how and where to build that space. After their first attempt is ruined by trolls, they ask for guidance from a local bookstore owner and zine fest organizer. So the idea for the Blackward Zine Fest is born, an event to showcase creativity, make new connections, and maybe even find dates. This book doesn't shy away from the negative sides of existing and creating as a minority in public, but it is also a celebration of friendship and community and the power of comics!
Assassin’s Quest by Robin Hobb read by Paul Boehmer 
What an exciting, explosive end to this trilogy! Fitz starts this book as low as a man can be, having returned from near death, with nearly every person who has ever known him believing him dead. He has to learn how to be human again, and learn how to care, and figure out his plans now that he has hypothetical total freedom. But the Red Ships are still pounding the Six Duchies shores, and Regal has withdrawn the strength and wealth of the Duchies inland. Verity is still missing on his endless quest. The beginning drags a little, but after the mid point of this book it is CONSTANT action and adventure, with so many twists and turns, and such a payoff at the end. If you like high fantasy, I highly recommend this series, and I'm so glad I chose to revisit it this summer.
I Thought You Loved Me by Mari Naomi
This is a long, thoughtful look at a friendship breakup, told through prose, letters, diary excerpts, collage, and comics. Mari met Jodie in high school where they bonded as rebellious teens seeking freedom from parental and academic rules. They loved the same music, both dropped out of school, and moved in the same circle of Bay Area folks for years. They were best friends- until Jodie cut Mari out of her life suddenly and unexpectedly. Years later, Mari was still trying to piece together what had happened, from lies, misunderstandings, secrets, affairs, communications lost in transit or responded to by the wrong recipient. Friendship breakups can be equally as devastating as romantic breakups- sometimes even more, as there's no societal norms on how to mourn them, and because we often expect friends to remain in our lives forever. This memoir was honest about how memory fades, how easy it can be to remember only the good or only the bad of a person colored through a specific lens, but also hopeful about the possibility of reconnection. No memoir is over while it's characters still live, and this one took more twists and turns than I was expecting! Beautiful and thought provoking.
Enemies by Svetlana Chmakova 
This fourth installment in the Berrybrook series is just as charming and warmhearted as the previous volumes. This one focuses on Felicity, an artist who struggles with time management and deadlines, and with comparisons to her hyper-organized, science-fair winning younger sister. Wanting to prove herself, Felicity joins a competition for kid entrepreneurs. But coming up with a winning idea proves more difficult than she expected, especially when her partner keeps suggesting completely impossible ideas. Also, one of her best friends from elementary school stopped talking to her and now glares daggers at Felicity and she has no idea why. It's hard to keep your head up in middle school with all of the swirling emotions, homework, personal projects, and still maintain high scores in the most popular new online multi-player combat game. But Felicity has the love and support of her family- all she has to do is be willing to ask for help.
Skip by Molly Mendoza
The art in this book is absolutely gorgeous, and the page layouts are stunning. The story opens with a child, Bloom, and a nonbinary adult, Bee, surviving in a post apocalyptic world. But Bee goes off to help a stranger and then Bloom falls through an Alice-in-Wonderland like rabbit hole into multiple different trippy, strange settings were they are generally much tinier than all the other inhabitants. There's a nice through line about friendship and trusting yourself, but ultimately I found the story too ungrounded and loose to have a deep emotional impact.
Alexander, The Servant and The Water of Life book 1 by Reimena Yee
I am so impressed by the scope, artistic skill, and inventiveness of this work! The author weaves together multiple, at times conflicting, tales of Alexander the Great. It's drawn in rich colors and a wide variety of styles, many of which reference specific historical manuscript traditions from medieval European to Islamic to East Asian. I love the way the flashbacks are worked into the frame narrative, I love the shifting art styles, I am awed by the size of this project. And you can read most of this first volume online for free here on the author's website.
Ocean’s Echo by Everina Maxwell read by Raphael Corkhill 
This is a creative and gripping follow up to Winter's Orbit. Set in the same larger universe but focusing on a new set of main characters in a new sector of space, this extremely slow burn romance is satisfyingly dense with military and political intrigue. Tennal is the nephew of the Legislator of Orshun; he's also a Reader, or someone who can telepathically read the emotions and surface thoughts of the people around him; he's also the black sheep of his family, a party boy and general fuck up. His aunt forces him into an army position with the intention of having him permanently mind-linked to an Architect, a soldier with the flip side of Tennal's skill- the ability to control people's minds. Tennal is horrified and begins to think of every possible way he can avoid this fate. But much larger forces are at play around him, from the mystery of a semi-destroyed scientific lab relocated in the middle of chaotic space, lies about the creation of Readers and Architects, and a coup in the making. This book is heavier on the sci-fi elements than the relationship progression, but that suited me just fine and I look forward to hopefully reading more installments in this series!
Sunshine by Jarrett J Krosoczka 
When author Jarrett Krosoczka was in high school he had the opportunity to volunteer for a week at a camp for kids with cancer, their siblings, and parents. Jarrett had no idea what to expect, but he packed his sketchbook and an open mind. The experience changed his outlook forever. He had his own problems back home: a family affected by addiction and absent parents which lead to him being raised by his grandparents. But in the company of children facing life-threatening illnesses his own concerns fell away. He built relationships with some families that lasted for decades after his time at the camp. Painted in soft gray with hints of yellow and orange, this book offers an honest look at families facing the very worst circumstances and still heading out into woods to find community, friendship, and a breath of peace at a nature camp.
The Out Side: Trans and Nonbinary Comics edited by The Kao 
A really charming collection of nonbinary and trans stories! Most focus on coming out, but a few talk about a later in the process piece of trans life, such as getting top surgery. I enjoyed seeing which pieces of the stories echoed each other, appearing universal, and which stood out as unique to an individual's experience.
Hard Reboot by Django Wexler read by Morgan Hallett 
Set far in the future, this sci-fi novella follows a researcher from an extra-terrestrial human settlement on a scientific tourist trip back to "Old Earth". A misunderstanding leads to her accepting a very large bet on the outcome of a mecha battled, and when she losses and can't pay, she has to team up with a mecha fighter to try and win the next round to get her money back. I was able to predict the majority of the twists of this story within the first quarter of the book, but it was still fairly entertaining as a short audiobook listen.
Best. Ceremony. Ever: How to Make the Serious Wedding Stuff Unique by Christopher Shelley 
I just officiated a wedding for the first time in my life, and this book (while cheesy) did actually help me get started writing the ceremony speech. It gave me the general outline of the beats I needed to hit, and some smart ideas of little touches or moments to include. The book is very inclusive of same-sex couples, which I really appreciated. Its also padded out with a completely unnecessary 50 page glossary of terms, so I only really read/skimmed the first three quarters of it, but I'd still recommend it if you are either planning or officiating a wedding.
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The Subcategories of Fantasy
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As an author who loves Fantasy, I wanted to help my fellow writers understand all of the different elements that fantasy can fall under, ranging from the well-known to the specific. I figured that doing so could help other writers like myself understand exactly what sort of story they’re writing, and how these stories differ from one another. I’ll also be giving examples of these types of stories, as well as my own thoughts on the different genres at the end.
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What is Fantasy?
Fantasy in its simplest term, is any form of media that diverges from the mundane reality of our ordinary everyday world in one facet or another. A story does not need to have magic, or dragons, or princesses to be called a fantasy story. While those are common motifs, in truth, all it takes to be considered fantasy is to not adhere to the real world in one form or another. Good Omens is a fantasy story, despite having no dragons or princesses anywhere. A Song of Ice and Fire has dragons and princesses, but magic is scarce and seldom ever seen. The Song of the Sea has a lot of magic, but a lot fewer dragons.
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MEDIEVAL FANTASY
 The story takes place in a fantastical world of the author’s design with a medieval or renaissance inspired setting, world view, and/or political structure. Renaissance Fantasy doesn’t really tend to exist on its own, so any setting with Renaissance aspects tends to just get lumped in with Medieval Fantasy. I don’t even really need to explain this one to you. It’s the most common subgenre of fantasy. A medieval fantasy does not have to be set in the real medieval period of Earth’s history, but rather, a medieval fantasy is any story set in a fantastical world that makes use of a medieval-based society as its setting.
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HISTORICAL FANTASY 
This is a story in which fantastical elements are included in real world historical settings. This is any historical setting where there’s a King of England but also a dragon or trolls to deal with. There’s almost this sort of unspoken rule that any story set in Ancient Greece will inevitably be Historical Fantasy. Arthurian Fantasy, Mythology Fantasy, and Fable Fantasy could all be considered subcategories of Historical Fantasy, since most instances of these genres would be classified as Historical Fantasy, though there are exceptions. As an example, Once Upon a Time and the Fables comics series are both Fable Fantasies, but are not Historical Fantasy. Likewise, Rick Riordian’s Percy Jackson-verse is clearly Mythology Fantasy, but is not Historical Fantasy. Classic examples of Historical Fantasy would include tales like Beowulf, The Journey to the West, and Robin Hood. It’s worth mentioning that technically, a story is not Historical Fantasy if it’s set in the era it was written in. However, the Illiad was set in Mycenaean Greece, Robin Hood’s rivalry with Prince John was a later addition to the folklore, and most Arthurian mythos was penned long after the supposed real world figure might have lived and died. But, any story set in a contemporary modernity, such as Percy Jackson, will eventually become Historical Fiction as time moves forward, though it clearly was not written to be that way.
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MYTHOLOGY FANTASY
Angels, Demons, Gods, the Underworld, mythological heroes, this is a supercategory that encompasses everything from The Chronicles of Narnia to Supernatural, as well as Good Omens, American Gods, Sandman, Rise of the Guardians, Percy Jackson, Paradise Lost, Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, Smite: Battleground of the Gods, Teen Titans, Dante’s Inferno, and Lore Olympus. Some people get squeemish about lumping Judeo-Christian ideologies in with Mythology (even though it is a mythology) such that the Christian sub-category sometimes gets called Religious Fantasy or Bible Fantasy. But regardless, this is the category for any sort of fantastical work in which supernatural forces are at work. Some divide this section differently. For instance, some will say that since faeries are part of Irish mythology that faeries count as part of mythology fantasy, while others will argue that this is more for the religious aspect of fantasy, with things like vampires and faeries relegated to a subcategory of more generic fantasy creatures.
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ARTHURIAN FANTASY
The story revolves around Arthurian mythos. Whether it’s set in the real world of Britain, a fantasy counterpart to Britain, or in some author-created setting, King Arthur is still King Arthur. Sometimes, though very rarely, Arthurian stories have little to no magic, fusing this subgenre with Historical Fiction and not Historical Fantasy. While Arthurian mythos has evolved over the years, the big players are practically household names. Most people are unfamiliar with Sir Galehaut and Sir Dinadin, but almost everyone recognizes Arthur, Guinevere, Lancelot, Merlin, and all the other big players in Arthurian folklore. However, Arthurian myth effectively spans the entire breadth of the Medieval Period, first being mentioned in the Annaels Cambriae which places Arthur in 6th Century Britain, and his stories continued to be written until Le Mort d’Arthur in 1485. Keep in mind, the Medieval Period is from 476 - 1500, and Arthurian mythos spans about 800-900 of those 1,024 years. Due to his story spanning so much time, many elements of Arthur’s story have been forgotten or quietly put aside over time. Try to tell someone that Arthur put every newborn born in the month of may on a boat and sank it to prevent the prophecy of Mordred from coming true, and you’ll probably get a bunch of horrified looks from people who swear up and down that the Good King Arthur would never do anything so cruel. Even other elements shifted around. Ask who mordred’s parents are, and you could argue Arthur, Morgan le Fey, Morgause, Anna, King Lot, and more. Depending on how deep down the rabbit hole you’re willing to go, you can read stories of King Arthur fighting his nephew Oberon for control of Fairyland. Arthurian mythos, like mythology fantasy, tends to get the curbside drive-by approach. People repeat the elements they’ve heard a million times, while never dusting off any of the lesser known elements that would give the story a breath of fresh air.
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FABLE FANTASY
Technically, all Arthurian Fantasy falls under this umbrella. Fable Fantasy is the genre term for fantasy based on fables, folk tales, and folkloric figures. Robin Hood, Reynard the Fox, Fairy Tales, Mother Goose, Baba Yaga, if it has persisted through generations of storytelling, and has had a lasting impact on the cultures that know the story, it can be considered a Fable Fantasy. Any story that pulls from these elements can likewise be considered Fable Fantasy because they are pulling from these fabled origins. So, a retelling of Beauty and the Beast is a Fable Fantasy... unless the storytelling has twisted the story so much that it’s no longer in the Fantasy genre. For more variations of this genre, well-known pop culture characters, much like Robin Hood and Fairytale characters, can be considered Fable Fantasy. So, Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, Santa Claus, the Grim Reaper, Peter Pan, the Phantom of the Opera, the Wizard of Oz, and other commonly retold folk characters can be thought of as more contemporary Fable fantasies. As such, both Wicked and The Phantom of the Opera can be considered Fable Fantasy musicals, as well as the more obvious Into the Woods. Once Upon a Time and the Fable comic series are both modern Fable Fantasy stories. Not all Fable Fantasy narratives are retellings of classic folktales. Peter Rabbit, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and The Wizard of Oz have all become widely considered folkloric staples, despite being written in the 19th and 20th centuries. Over the Garden Wall, a Cartoon Network miniseries from 2014, is considered to be a modern fairy tale, despite not being an adaptation of any other story, but instead using the tropes and ideas common to traditional old-school fairy tales. When they enter the public domain, I suspect that Dr. Seuss’ characters will likewise be effectively Fable Fantasy, well-known characters that see use and reuse over and over again in other media. Shrek and Disenchantment take a satirical approach to Fable Fantasy, poking fun of Disney and other fairytale narratives and tropes. 
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HISTORICAL ROMANTICISM
This setting often goes hand-in-hand with Arthurian Fantasy and Fairy Tales. This is any story that romanticizes and glorifies life in a historical setting. Popular variants include Medieval Romanticism, stories which romanticize medieval settings, Victorian Romanticism or Edwardian Romanticism, for stories that romanticize the time period between 1837-1913, and Period Romanticism, which is more of a blanket term that glorifies the eras popular with Period movies, namely, the 19th century, but sometimes earlier as well. Full of handsome princes, fair damsels, large palace-like castles, and knightly codes of honor, historically inaccurrate period gowns, debutante balls, and steamy Jane Austen-style love affairs, this story paints the past with the most optimistic and flattering image possible. Everything is flowery, poetic, and awe-inspiring. This is the type of setting Sansa Stark thought she was in at the start of A Game of Thrones before G.R.R Martin pulled the rug out from under her and revealed Westeros to be a Cynical Low Fantasy. By the very virtue of the company’s child-friendly marketing, Most Disney movies, and by extension, most movies set in the past aimed at children can likewise be categorized as Historical Romanticism, as they brush the darker side of history under the rug. The Princess Bride, Bridgerton, Don Bluth’s Anastasia, and most versions of Robin Hood and Arthurian mythos fall into this category. For contrast, Downton Abbey is not Edwardian Romanticism even though it tries to make life in the 1910s look glamorous, it’s also not afraid to blatantly point out the economic and socio-political issues that were going in in the world at the time. Downton Abbey does not sugar coat the darker side of history, and can therefore not be considered Historical Romanticism.
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HISTORICAL CYNICISM
The exact opposite, Historical Cynicism is the name I give to settings that use the trope “The Dung Ages”. Like Historical Romanticism, the most popular variant of this category is Medieval Cynicism. These settings seek to make life in historical time periods look as miserable and depressing as possible. They are designed to make life seem bleak, undesirable, and disgusting. Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Disenchantment take a comedic approach to this, while A Song of Ice and Fire gives a more Epic Fantasy take. Sweeney Todd makes life in Victorian London look positively putrid, and that’s without the cannibalism subplot. The Witcher games seem to merge Medieval Cynicism with Dark Fantasy and Horror Fantasy. This subgenre hinges on Dark Fantasy, but the two are distinct from one another. Expect plenty of plagues, muted color pallets, a cruel aristocracy that enjoys crushing the lower classes under its heel, and mud or dung on everything.
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HIGH FANTASY
 Magic and fantastical elements are abound in this setting. Expect wizards, dragons, fantastical races, and more. Very frequently overlaps with Epic Fantasy, though they are different. The Lord of the Rings is classic High Fantasy. Most Dungeons & Dragons settings are also High Fantasy, as is The Legend of Zelda. Avatar: the Last Airbender is a High Fantasy Wuxia show, though Legend of Korra veers more toward Historical Fantasy, Steampunk, and Magitech Fantasy with its 1920s Shanghai meets New York City hub location of Republic City. The Elder Scrolls is also a High Fantasy, with plenty of elven races, the Beast Races, and star signs that actually impact those born under them. Each province has its own sort of vibe or subgenre, with High Rock being more Medieval Romanticism while Skyrim is more Dark Fantasy or Medieval Cynicism, but as a whole, Tamriel falls under the High Fantasy umbrella.
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LOW FANTASY 
A medieval setting where magic and fantastical elements are rare, if not nonexistent. A Song of Ice and Fire is an excellent example. Magic is real and does exist, but it only rarely comes into play. Magic is extremely scarce, and most people one might meet are humans. Even the sight of someone casting the simplest spell is so rare in Westeros that it’s practically unheard of, and the few supernatural elements that do exist in the setting live far out into the wilderness, rarely being seen by people. It’s quite rare to find completely fictional fantasy settings with no magic whatsoever, but they do exist.
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EPIC FANTASY 
This is any fantasy story on an epic scale. I’m talking well over 50+ named characters. A Song of Ice and Fire, The Wheel of Time, Lord of the Rings, all of these are Epic Fantasy. Yes, these stories usually end up with long book series and a lot of words behind them, but I am defining a genre, not a reading level. Epic Fantasy is about scope, not page length. Common sights in Epic Fantasy are grand battles, multiple POVs, world-spanning events, extremely high stakes, very powerful players in the narrative, and The Final Battle Between Good and Evil.
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QUEST FANTASY
Any fantasy work which is primarily driven by The Epic Quest. Often overlaps with Chosen One narratives. Lord of the Rings, Eragon, The Legend of Zelda, Avatar: the Last Airbender, and the Percy Jackson books are all examples of Quest Fantasy. The bulk of the narrative is centered on The Journey and the trouble the heroes run into along the way, or are otherwise all about The Adventure, not the destination. Our band of heroes have a goal given to them and the story is focused on following the heroes on their journey. However, this is not strictly a Chosen One category. The Legend of Korra is a Chosen One Fantasy, but is not a Quest Fantasy because Korra’s main objective changes every season. Percy Jackson toes the line due to the Oracle’s prophecies, but I wouldn’t call him a Chosen One because his birth wasn’t written in the stars or anything. He just happens to be a child of Poseidon and at the center of the story. If you switched him out for Nico di Angelo or Jason Grace, the story is still functional. In Lord of the Rings, Aragorn is the True King, but Frodo is the protagonist, so I wouldn’t call Lord of the Rings a Chosen One Fantasy either. This can also tip into other genres. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a Quest Fantasy. The entire premise of the movie is Arthur and his knights questing for the Holy Grail. Likewise, The Princess Bride is all about Wesley’s quest to rescue Princess Buttercup from Prince Humperdink. Treasure Planet is a steampunk quest fantasy telling the story of Jim’s search for Flint’s treasure, where the journey there is the bulk of the story. Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas is a quest fantasy with elements of Historical Fantasy and Mythology Fantasy all about Sinbad’s perilous voyage to the edge of the world to save his friend’s life.
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DARK FANTASY
It’s like normal Fantasy, but bleaker and darker. The Witcher and Skyrim are good examples of Dark Fantasy, where monsters roam the wilderness, and people live in fear of the unknown beyond the safety of their villages. The general tone is more cynical, desolate, or hopeless. Some Dark Fantasy is more about just being gloomy or creepy. The movies Labyrinth and Dark Crystal are two good examples of a Dark Fantasy that’s less bleak as they are weird, yet still dark. The Black Cauldron is a perfect example of a Dark Fantasy with a dreary and macabre aesthetic paired with a genuinely horrifying necromancer villain. Pan’s Labyrinth is another good example of a Dark Fantasy. Over the Garden Wall and A Tale so Dark and Grimm are both Dark Fantasy stories as well as Fable Fantasies, reveling in the darker aspects of Grimm fairy tales.
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HORROR FANTASY
It’s like Dark Fantasy, but scarier. Expect there to be horrifying monsters unlike any seen on earth. Your protagonist is probably either hunting or being hunted by something horrible. Either a monster is trying to kill them, the world is trying to kill them, the gods or demons are trying to kill them, or magic is trying to kill them. Again, The Witcher is a great example of Horror Fantasy. Geralt is a hunter of monsters, and often fights things like Werewolves, ghouls, wraiths, and lesheys. Red Riding Hood (2011) is a great example of a vaguely medieval Horror Fantasy. Depending on where you stop the line at what’s horror, what’s fantasy, and what’s Horror Fantasy, you could justify just about anything as Horror Fantasy. From The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim with its undead Draugr and vampire clans, to Resident Evil VII with its vampires, or even certain Scooby-Doo! media (though Scooby-Doo! is certainly on the mild end of horror.)
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PARANORMAL FANTASY
Unlike Dark Fantasy or Horror Fantasy, Paranormal Fantasy takes horror elements and spins them to be more romantic. This is where you’d slot in romantic or atmospheric ghost stories. Tales of witches and vampires in a macabre setting where they’re not the villains. The Addams Family fits the Paranormal Fantasy, as does Sweeney Todd, Sleepy Hollow, The Phantom of the Opera, Hotel Transylvania, most Scooby-Doo! media, Beetlejuice, the Halloweentown movies, The Nightmare Before Christmas, or Hocus Pocus. Basically, if it could be a child-friendly Halloween story, or was made by Tim Burton, it’s probably Gothic Fantasy. I guess you could also call this Monster Fantasy, Gothic Fantasy, or Spooky Fantasy.
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CONTMPORARY FANTASY
The setting is medieval with castles and princesses, but there’ll also be modern conveniences or nods to pop culture in the land and setting. Dave the Barbarian is a good example of this. The royal family are all barbarians (which basically just means vague warriors that wear fur loincloths), but then they also have malls, and Dave made a megaphone out of a squirrel, some string, and a megaphone. Shrek does this too, especially in Far Far Away with nods to Starbucks and Burger King, among other modern franchises. Disenchantment also uses this as a basis for comedy. Typically, Contemporary Fantasy only uses modern conveniences in a medieval setting as more or less sight gags, punchlines, or to poke fun of corporations and consumerism. These are also the fantasy stories most likely to reexamine tropes and shine a critical light on the genre, whether by showing the farm-boy turned king being royally inept, the mental issues caused by locking the princess in a tower for years of her life, or how quickly princesses married the first man that came along without so much as a conversation beforehand.
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URBAN FANTASY
The wizard has a smartphone, the prince has a Grindr, and the city watch patrol the streets on motorcycles. A standard fantasy world has come to the modern age, with skyscrapers, internet, cars, and cellphones. The familiar world gives the audience a firmer foot to ground themselves in this sort of story, compared to something set in the past, but it has its own hurdles. Namely, a modern world still needs a rich history. You also need a story that can’t be solved with a gun and an internet connection. Urban Fantasy is a very broad genre, from Hidden World Fantasy like Percy Jackson or Harry Potter, to Merged World Fantasy like RWBY. There’s also some head scratchers like the Warriors Cats books. It’s definitely Urban Fantasy. A cat society living in the forest is a fantasy, and the story is set in our modern contemporary world. But labeling the series beyond Urban Fantasy is where it gets tricky. Isekai borders on Urban Fantasy, as the magical overlaps with the modern world. The Magic Treehouse and the Arthur Spiderwick Chronicles are two great examples of Urban Fantasy in children’s literature. Goosebumps is Urban Horror Fantasy.
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ISEKAI FANTASY
These are stories in which an ordinary human (or group of humans) are transported to another world in order to learn a lesson, grow, and come back home wiser, stronger, and ready to face the problems they ran away from. The Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan and Wendy, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, as well as movies like Stardust, Coraline, and Spirited Away, or TV shows like Over the Garden Wall, The Owl House, and Amphibia are all prime examples of this type of story. The Chronicles of Narnia is an excellent example because as the series goes on, the older Pevensee children stop needing to go back to Narnia. By Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Peter and Susan have learned all they need to from the other world, and don’t go back, leaving only Edmund and Lucy to go with their cousin instead. Because their arcs are over, they have no reason to return.
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ROMANCE FANTASY
It’s a romance novel with supernatural elements. Usually, it’s a human falling in love with something inhuman, which we often call Paranormal Romance. However, this can also include stories of a fairy falling in love with a dwarf, so there’s a wider net here. This isn’t just a story with a romantic subplot, this is your Romeo and Juliet type love stories. Your Beauty and the Beast retellings. The romance is the main plot, and the supernatural elements simply make the romance more exciting or the problems of the couple more entangled in cultural baggage. Obviously, Twilight is a popular example, as is The Cruel Prince, The Captive Prince, and Of Beast and Beauty by Stacey Jay.
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MAGITECH FANTASY
This is when a fantasy setting has magic-powered  technology. The guardians and Divine Beasts from Breath of the Wild are a fantastic example of Magitech in a medieval fantasy setting, as are the steam-powered automatons of the Dwemmer in The Elder Scrolls. The Legend of Korra sort of fits here. The world of Avatar has advanced to include airplanes, cars, and radios, none of which are powered directly by bending, but benders do work in power plants, performing lightning bending to generate electricity. It’s certainly a middle ground between steampunk and magitech fantasy. However, the world doesn’t have to necessarily include technology, any setting where magic is a power source for anything can work. Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy is a great example of Magitech Fantasy. Eco is a natural magical resource that give magical powers and effects. So, having doors that open when exposed to the electrical energy of blue eco makes sense. And while it’s never stated, Jak II has many automatic doors in Haven City that may very well run on an electric power grid fueled by blue eco veins. But eco largely gets dropped in the sequel games in favor of guns, though the guns themselves may actually be powered by eco as well. So it’s hard to say. RWBY surprisingly fits into Magitech Fantasy. Like Eco, Dust is a magical natural resource that can be used to create magical effects. The world is full of airships, shape-changing weapons, bullets and other weapons being infused with dust to give them magical effects, and Penny, a definitely real girl.
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GASLAMP FANTASY
This is what happens when Steampunk has just enough fantasy elements to land in the Fantasy section. Gaslamp Fantasy is any fantasy story set in the era of gaslamps, while still incorporating fantastical elements. Dracula, Springheel Jack, Mary Poppins, Peter Pan, Sherlock Holmes vs Dracula, basically, as long as it’s set in a Victorian setting and has supernatural elements, it counts as Gaslamp Fantasy. However, it’s definitely one of the less popular subgeneres, and I couldn’t really name any others.
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WUXIA
A fantasy setting that focuses more on East Asian history, folklore, and mythology to craft its setting. Wuxia is a broad term, including everything from Spirited Away to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Dragonball. However, often times in fantasy, European-inspired regions are complicated and diverse, while Asian-inspired regions are homogenizing, if not orientalist. We can differentiate Irish, Scottish, and Welsh folklore from English, but somehow, not treating all Asian cultures like they’re the same is too taxing for some writers. So, if you’re going to tackle writing Wuxia Fantasy, do your homework, try to make the cultures thorough and intricate, and don’t profess yourself an expert on another person’s culture if you’re not Asian yourself.
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envysparkler · 1 year
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I'm curious about this Uno reverse batfamily adoption fic idea. What is it going to be about? All the batkids parents are alive and try to coparents Bruce and the robins?
The story starts when a newly minted Batman goes to a circus. He runs into a panicking baby Dick before the show starts, who claims that there's a bad man doing something to the ropes. Bruce rushes off to stop him, gets lightly stabbed, and decides to buy Haly's Circus so this kind of thing doesn't happen again.
The Grayson family happily adopt him. No amount of persuading will convince Dick Grayson that Bruce is not his new older brother. Alfred is happy to have more people looking out for Bruce. Bruce is defeated and resignedly accepts his new parental figures, since it appears that Haly's Circus is going to stay in Gotham.
[you can insert subplot about court of owls here or not.]
Bruce Wayne is in Crime Alley on the anniversary of his parents' death. He gets mugged, which causes a flashback and a panic attack, and a kind passerby coaches him through it while her son scowls at him the whole time. Catherine Todd invites him up for a cup of tea and Bruce meets her husband. He can see where Jason gets the scowl from. Willis gives back Bruce's wallet and keys without saying where he got them from. The car's tires, however, are a lost cause.
[honestly the dramatic tension here from Batman running into Willis as one of Two-Face's lackeys would be delicious. also feat Willis finally revealing Catherine's medical issues which of course leads to Bruce paying for treatment and Jason starting to trust him.]
This Batman has no Robin. This does not stop little Timmy's fascination with nighttime photography, which Janet encourages. Children need to spend time outside, she can brag about her baby's talent, and honestly all the traveling means she's up at odd hours when she's in Gotham anyway. But all that Bat-watching gets Janet thinking and she figures out that Bruce is Batman in a couple of months. Tim is his mother's son, after all. Janet, previously very annoyed with Brucie Wayne, now realizes the whole thing is an act, and is very amused. She can use this to troll Gotham's snooty high society and get a good laugh out of those stuffy galas. Jack is always game to go along with a good joke.
[The Drakes, frequent visitors to the circus ever since little Dick Grayson picked up baby Timmy and proclaimed that he'd do a special flip just for him, find out that the Graysons also know Bruce. They meet the Todds on another trip. If Bruce knew that there were three different sets of Gotham parents conspiring about him, he'd probably flee permanently to the Watchtower.]
Talia...well, it would be a bit awkward for Talia to adopt Bruce. But you don't have to change much to have Ra's be the kind of father that's obsessed with that One Boyfriend you brought for dinner five years ago and won't stop asking when he's coming back.
[Why, yes, Ra's does join the monthly meetings of the Bruce Wayne Protection Squad. If only to weigh in on the "who should Bruce date" debate. They're going to be his future in-law after all.]
Batman runs into David Cain and Lady Shiva on two separate missions, both of which end in injuries for Bruce, but a little girl sticks bandaids with colorful print on him so he guesses it's okay. Her parents have split custody of Cass and now apparently Bruce too, if the way they grouse at him about the proper way to take on assassins is any indication.
Batman ends up in the hospital and Crystal Brown is the nurse that's assigned to his care. The only thing that stops a delirious Batman from trying to get out of bed is Stephanie Brown's detailed stories. Some time later, Cluemaster kidnaps Batman--not to unmask his identity, but to interrogate him on his postoperative care because his wife and daughter were worrying.
Gordon's already pretty much adopted him, so nothing has to change there.
Bonus: Bruce is a fantastic babysitter. He's attentive and careful. Also, all the kids think he's super cool because he's Batman, which is very flattering. And whenever one of them starts making noises about joining him in fighting crime, he can drop them back off at their parents.
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cephalog0d · 6 months
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Batkid Drabble - "Knock"
((For @dangerousdan-dan, because it made me laugh too hard not to write it. AU where instead of being immediately offered Robin, Jason doesn't actually know about the vigilante stuff yet, so instead of his first interaction with Dick being with Hypercompetent Vigilante Nightwing while out crime-fighting, it's at a public event with Harmless Airhead Dick Grayson, and Jason is Unimpressed. Except then during some Gotham Typical Bad Events Jason sees Dick doing some decidedly not harmless things and becomes determined to catch him doing Ninja Shit again. Unfortunately for him, Dick is very good at playing dumb, and also a giant troll.))
Jason watched Dick’s elbow bump into the bowl on the counter, knocking it over the edge. Dick twisted with shocking speed and agility to catch it without spilling the contents.
“Ah-HA!” Jason shouted triumphantly. “I caught you!”
Dick froze and stared at him, then looked at his bowl, then rolled his eyes.
“Don’t you start, too. Cereal doesn’t have to be only for breakfast.”
“What? No! I mean the ninja stuff!” Jason pointed emphatically at the bowl. Dick frowned in obvious (too obvious) confusion.
“Is cereal a ninja thing?” he asked as he picked the bowl up and took a bite.
“I’m not talking about the fucking cereal!”
“Language,” Dick chided, wagging the spoon at Jason.
“I’m talking about this!” Jason pulled a pen from his hoodie pocket and flung it straight at Dick’s face. In one smooth motion, Dick dropped the spoon back into the bowl and snatched the pen out of the air.
“See?”
“One of my babysitters was a knife thrower, you know,” Dick said, twirling the pen in his fingers before tossing it back.
Jason caught it, glaring.
“I’m onto you.”
“Sure, Jay.” Dick just smiled like he had no idea what Jason was talking about.
((Cross-posted to AO3))
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priscilla9993 · 5 months
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Robin: Make a wish! Just not for another troll.
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Robin, after Alice blows out the candle with obvious heart eyes: So, what did you wish for?
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Alice: You know that's not how it works, but I've got a good feeling about this one.
Robin has been pulling fast ones on Alice all day, stumping her with modern items, lingos, and idioms. But this special moment is significant, as it's the first birthday in years since Alice got separated from her papa where she isn't alone as Robin's stuck by her side. Alice knows entirely how birthday wishes work, (plus or minus hers actually being magical) the traditional superstition of how telling someone your wish will make it not come true.
Alice is on the same page as Robin for once and won't fall for any accidental secret giving. She KNOWS what Robin is up to and cleverly evades the playfully innocent and teasing question. Alice isn't going to quickly profess her love or want of Robin to be in her life/herself to be part of Robin's life. So cute and cheeky, makes me want to go just tell her already!
All gif credits go to @leiandcharles since tumblr gif finding system is whack and they make such pretty gifs. The candle lighting shot with a modern day lighter lives in my head rent free. Robin could probably live in the woods, on a farm, and hunt, but for love of life won't start a fire without her handy dandy lighter from Storybrooke.
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mostlyghostie · 1 year
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Fantasy Recommendations Wanted
I already have 28 unread books to read before I purchase anything else, nevertheless, I want some very specific recommendations on fantasy books!
I have enjoyed lots of fantasy in the past (Pratchett being the bridge for ten year old me from kid books to non-kid books before the age of YA) but 99% of the books shelved in a bookshop Fantasy/Sci-Fi section leave me cold.
My absolute favourite fantasy novels are:
The His Dark Materials series by Phillip Pullman
The Earthsea series by Ursula LeGuin
Little, Big by John Crowley
Lud in the Mist by Hope Mirless
The Princess Bride by William Goldman
The Djinn in the Nightingale’s Eye by AS Byatt
The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro
Both of Susanna Clarke’s novels (Piranesi and Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrel)
The Once and Future King by TH White
Also, not a novel, but Jim Henson’s The Storyteller series is the epitome of fairytale storytelling as far as I’m concerned, where everything happens after a year and a day or in a week with two Sundays or to a seventh son of a seventh son. The story The Luck Child in particular still makes me well up.
The issue is, that although I absolutely adore those books listed above, that’s about as far as it goes, almost everything else I try does nothing for me. I’ve read all of Pratchett, Gaiman and Tolkien too and enjoy them (The Watch books, Troll Bridge and The Hobbit being my favourite of each). I like the first few Robin Hobb books, I like the bits I choose to like from Narnia, I liked the first Scott Lynch book and I liked/detested The Magicians series in equal measure.
So, what am I missing? I much prefer whimsy to grizzled be-stubbled men with a grudge, I much prefer a magic system to be based on endearing nonsense rather than maths and physics and if I’ve not listed a major series/trilogy of some kind then I’ve probably tried and not liked it. I’m not particularly interested in YA (a personal preference rather than a value judgment!)
Recommendations gleefully accepted!
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foxydivaxx · 3 months
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Zosan: Look What You Made Me Do Chapter 8
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Sanji stirs as he struggles to get up. He was definitely behind schedule judging from the blinding rays of the early morning sun. He jumps up to his feet and heads off to go get a quick shower and then prepare breakfast. Once he was done, he dashes off to the kitchen, only to find Robin and Chopper there helping themselves. "Morning Sanji. We figured that we assist you a bit hence why he have gotten off to a great headstart so far." says Robin. 
Sanji gives her a sweet smile. "Thanks Robin. You shouldn't have." he says. Chopper grins. "Yeah but we also need to help out every once in a while. Besides, we are a team right." he says. Sanji nods and joins. "So, what are we preparing this morning?" he asks. "Simple English breakfast."  Sanji nods. "Sounds great to me." he says, rolling his sleeves and joining them in the work.
Once they were done, Chopper goes off to call the rest of the crew. Breakfast was a normal affair with the occasional Zoro and Sanji spats no thanks to Zoro's penchant for annoying his boyfriend. Once they were done, Sanji and Chopper clear up the dishes and head off to the kitchen to clean up. "I want to see you smile more often Sanji." says Chopper. "Aww you are so sweet."  Sanji, wraps his arms around Chopper and pulls him into a warm hug. "And I want you to be happy and cheerful as well because you are the sweetest guy on Earth." Chopper giggles and nuzzles the cook affectionately.
Once they were done, they head to their respective rooms. On his way to his room, he stops in his tracks as he overhears a conversation between Zoro and Nami. "Wait...so let me get it straight, so Sanji was a different priority?!" Priority? What does she mean? He walks in and listens to more of their conversation."Yeah. It's true. Like look, I love Sanji a lot but at the same time, my loyalties are tearing me apart." Loyalties? What does he mean?  "What do you mean by loyalties?" Nami asked. Zoro sighs and says, "Luffy."
"Luffy? Wait...you mean, you loved him and wanteed to use Sanji to make Luffy jealous?! Dude!! That is so fucking sick!! How can you hurt Sanji like that and use him!! You are no different than the very people that hurt him!! Than that Akuma!!" That was when it clicked. Angered by that revelation, Sanji storms out. That shocked both Nami and Zoro. They did not realize that Sanji had been standing there. Zoro immediately gets up and chases after Sanji. "Sanji wait!!" 
“JUST FUCKING SAY THAT YOU FUCKING HATE ME AND ALL THAT I FUCKING STAND FOR?!  LIKE I AM LESS OF A MAN TO BITCHES LIKE YOU ANYWAYS!! LIKE BITCH IT AINT THAT FUCKING HARD?!! JUST FUCKING ADMIT IT TO MY FACE!! LIKE I UNDERSTAND WHY MOST PEOPLE LOOK DOWN ON ME!! I UNDERSTAND WHY I AM ALWAYS RIDICULED DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS!!” Zoro was completely stunned by Sanji’s utterance. He has seen Sanji lose his shit multiple times. But this was on a different level.
Truth be told, he has said some shit about Sanji to his face and behind his back. Normally, it would just be some good old rival trolling. But today’s case was different. He went way too far during his conversation with Nami.  Sanji sighs, places a cigarette in his mouth, and tries to put on his lighter but for some reason, he can’t. “And you know what? That’s fine.”
The blonde tries to put on a face of bravado but deep down, he was falling. He had always had feelings for Zoro. But today, he now knows where he belongs. Or at least what Zoro truly thinks of him and whom his heart truly belongs to.
“S-Sanji why…..” Zoro knows why but he has to pretend to save face.
Sanji gives him an icy look. “ I heard what you said about me to Nami. Pretty solid points.  But nothing matters anymore. Glad that at least I know where I truly belong and that is rock bottom.” With that, he tries to walk away but Zoro grabs his hand. 
“Sanji wait…”
Sanji stares at him, his eyes wet with tears. “You have already made your choice. Now it is time to make mine. I would rather be alone without anyone than get my heart broken that way.” He pulls his hand away and walks off. Zoro sighs. Man, he messed up badly. 
Once Sanji reaches his home, he begins to scream and cry and starts throwing things and ripping things apart. "Sanji what's wrong?" He whips around to see Luffy standing by the door with a look of concern in his eye. "Get the fuck out Luffy..." he growls at him. "Huh? What do you mean? Like I am here t-"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OR DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH!! IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT YOU STUPID BITCH!! YOU AND THAT USELESS MOSSHEAD!!! I HATE BOTH OF YOU!!! I HATE THE FACT THAT YOU BITCHES ARE LEAGUES ABOVE ME IN MOST AREAS THAT I CAN NEVER CATCH UP!! I HATE THAT HE FUCKING LOVES YOU MORE THAN ME AND ALWAYS DID AND WAS USING ME TO GET TO YOU!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU AND EVERYONE!!" Sanji screams at Luffy and breaks down in tears. 
Luffy was surprisingly calm during the whole thing. He walks up to Sanji and gives him a hug. "You do not have to hold onto that pain Sanji. Let it all out. I understand how you feel. You have every right to be mad and jealous. You have every right to feel whatever you feel and to be heard because you were so used to having others to talking down on you and invalidating your feelings."
Sanji just keeps on crying in his Captain's arms. Luffy just gently pats his back and calms him down. "It's okay Sanji." After spending hours crying non-stop, Luffy invites Zoro into the room and sits them both down. Sanji refuses to look him in the eye directly and looks away.  Zoro looks down on the floor. "Zoro I understand why you said what you said to Nami but understand this, I am not interested in romance or you. That is not my main priority. Never was. Let me get that clear because you really hurt Sanji. Like you invested a lot into the relationship and you decided to throw that away by being reckless with your emotions."
It was weird seeing Luffy like this as Luffy is usually seen as a reckless, happy-go-lucky cheerful person. This was the rare case where Luffy would be the mature one in the room. 
"Good thing Nami figured things out and told me hence why I went to find Sanji before he did something terrible to either himself or you. So Zoro, apologize to Sanji now." Zoro goes over to Sanji and pulls him into a hug. "I am so sorry baby." he says. Sanji pouts and accepts the hug. Luffy smiles satisfied. "Next time you misbehave, Sanji please kick his ass." 
"You bet I would." Sanji says with a smirk. "OI!! DO-" Before Zoro knew what was happening, Sanji kciks him hard in the face that he is sent flying out of the room."OWW!!! OI!! CURLY!! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Zoro yells. "That's what you get for fucking with my heart mosshead!!" Next thing everyone knew, the couple began to physically clash again. 
"Not again." says Jinbe with a sigh. "Those two." Brook says, shaking his head. The girls giggle. 
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harpsthings · 1 year
Text
Modern AU where Dustin is a teenage youtuber who decides to do a stream marathon playing insanely old video games to raise money for a charity for  LGBTQ+ youth Nancy and Robin had started about a year back. 
He does it out of spite because well known internet radical douchebag known by his internet handle Vecna keeps trying to ruin the charity. 
Dustin doesn’t expect it to raise more than a few thousand because, while some of his videos had popped off, he wasn’t nearly famous enough to do as much as he wanted. He keeps going anyways because any money is good money. 
His legal guardian Steve keeps popping in and out to check on him and bring him snacks despite Dustin telling him not to. His presence quickly becomes a meme among his viewers and helps boost Dustin’s viewership and donations a bit.
Realizing this, Dustin drags Steve in to join him. At first Steve is annoyed, but when he realizes what Dustin is doing this for he is all for it. They end up switching off the controller all the while talking about the struggles of being queer, especially in a small town. Steve also talks about his efforts to adopt another queer kid he has been looking after (Max) and how much of a struggle the system is.
A clip of Steve and Dustin tearing up about becoming each other’s family, especially when Steve never had one who accepted him ends up leaving the circle of people in the know on Twitter and gets roasted by a queerphobic troll.
Dustin sees this and gets angry on Steve’s behalf (despite Steve telling him not to pay attention to that stuff), but while he’s scrolling he sees that the guy was ratio’d, absolutely destroyed, by a verified user.
That user? The famous openly queer rockstar and advocate Eddie Munson.
Dustin is hyped and sees this as his chance to get the stream more traction. While Steve is yelling at Donkey Kong, Dustin publicly invites Eddie on the stream.
To Dustin’s delight, Eddie replies almost instantaneously with a resounding yes. They work on setting him up and Eddie promotes the stream. Once he’s in the views and donations quickly get out of control.
Steve, who had been paying attention solely to Donkey Kong, is in shock when he hears his old classmate (and longtime hopeless crush) Eddie Munson over the call and sees his face on Dustin’s second monitor. Eddie greets him with a warm “Hey, Stevie” and Steve’s resulting expression becomes an instant classic gif.
Dustin asks how they know each other and Steve stutters through an answer that sounds vaguely like “I was a douche to him in high school but he’s always been super cool sorry Eddie for being a douche in high school”. Eddie replies that it’s water under the bridge and that he’s glad Steve seems to be more comfortable in his own skin now.
For the first little while, it’s mostly Dustin interviewing Eddie and them both cheering when they break goal after goal while Steve grits his teeth through Super Mario, interjecting when he has time to breathe.
But soon Dustin gets exhausted and Steve forces him to sleep. Dustin only does once Steve promises not to mess anything up and Eddie promises to stay. When Dustin leaves and he and Steve exchange “I love you”s the whole audience descends into “awwws” and screeches. No matter what happens after this, Steve and Dustin are now internet famous brothers.
Once Dustin is asleep, Steve and Eddie decide to play a casual multiplayer game and just chat. What starts off as casual flirting quickly turns into a deep emotional discussion about how their lives have gone and how they’ve changed as people. 
Eddie admits that he used to have a crush on Steve in high school but he likes how Steve is now a lot better. Steve breaks down at that, from the exhaustion and emotion, saying that he hated himself as a teenager and how he wants to make the world safer for people like Dustin, especially from people like him. 
Eddie tells him that he was never an evil person, just a scared kid, and that he can see that Steve is making the world better already, just from the way he interacts with Dustin and the kind of advice he gives to the chat. Steve laughs wetly through his tears and says he probably needs a break.
They get in contact with Robin and Nancy and set them up on stream so Steve and Eddie can take a break. Robin and Nancy are ecstatic about all the donations they are getting and answer chat questions about themselves and their charity. They also invite other queer creators and members of the audience to come on stream, chat, and promote their own charities and fundraisers.
Eddie ends up calling Steve while they are on break and they have a soft conversation until Steve falls asleep. Steve thanks Eddie for helping Dustin and the charity and Eddie responds that in these short few hours they’ve helped him just as much, sweetheart.
The last thing Steve mumbles out is that his crush on Eddie never stopped. On the other side of the country, Eddie is blinking at his phone as he processes what Steve said. Once he does, a grin spreads across his face and he makes a promise to himself to not let this chance go.
Steve wakes abruptly a few hours later to Dustin and Max’s incoherent screams. He grabs his nail bat and runs into the office where Dustin usually streams, prepared for anything. He once more becomes a classic gif, his messed up hair and crazed expression (not to mention his fucking nail bat, who has a nail bat?) reposted endlessly.
He is simultaneously relieved and annoyed that they were only screaming about the amount of donations they’ve gotten for the charity. Steve grumbles and drops the bat as the voices of Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Argyle, and Eddie greet him from the computer. He loudly says that he’s going to go shower and marches out.
While he’s in the shower, Steve remembers what he said to Eddie the night prior. The resulting “FUCKING SHIT” can be heard over the stream. When he gets back to the room and sits behind his kids, hair perfectly coiffed, he says that he simply slipped in the shower. No one believes him.
The stream continues for hours until the only ones left are Eddie, Steve, Max, and Dustin. They’re beginning to wind things down when Max loudly sighs at Eddie and Steve’s heart eyes and flirtations, remarking that they had either “ask each other out or stop making her sick”.
Steve flushes and fails to stutter out an answer, but Eddie (a little rosy himself) scoffs that he “was going to do it away from prying eyes, Red, but if you insist...”
“Steve Harrington, would you to me the honor of going on a date with me?”
“Wh- I- Uh- Aren’t you thousands of miles away right now?”
“Actually, I already bought plane tickets.”
“You don’t have a private jet?”
“They’re terrible for the environment, Red, of course I don’t. Anyways, I don’t want to pressure you in front of all these people, Stevie, but I lied earlier.”
“You lied?”
“I said I used to have a crush on you, but it never really went away. Honestly, it’s gotten a helluva lot stronger in the past 48 hours, sweetheart, but say the word and I’ll never bug you about it again.”
“No! No, I don’t want that, Eds. Please bug me about it. All the time, if you want, cause I’ve got a crush on you, too.”
“So you’re saying I don’t have to refund these tickets?”
“I’m saying you’d better not, or I’ll put your old yearbook photos online.”
“Oh, the horror! Guess that means I have to come visit.”
“Guess that means you have to stay- I mean- You don’t have to. You’re a super famous rockstar and you’re super busy-”
“The band’s not touring right now and I think I need a change of scenery to help me focus on my solo stuff.”
“Just say it, Eddie!”
“Shhh, Max, this is getting us a ton of donos.”
“I’m taking that as you giving me your blessing, kiddos.”
“Blessing?”
“Yeah, Stevie. As long as you and your kids want me, I’m coming to stay.”
A sniffle.
“You asshole, you can’t say that kind of stuff when you’re too far away to kiss!”
Eddie grinned. “Put it on my tab. I’ll pay my dues when I get there, sweetheart.”
“Gross!”
“Okay, okay, pack it up! It’s my stream and I’m taking back control.”
With that, Dustin pushed Steve away from the screen and started closing out the stream. Then, it hits him. How much they raised and the lives they’d be able to change. 
Dustin starts sobbing, thanking everyone profusely, saying that he’d never thought he’d be able to do something like this. He never thought he’d be able to make a real difference.
Steve and Max pull him into a tight hug. Steve kisses his forehead and tells Dustin that he was the one who had taught Steve that he could be a better person, who made him excited to wake up to each new day, and that he made people’s lives better just by being in them. 
Steve points at the numbers, at the chat filled with people who were congratulating them and crying along, at Eddie who had tears quietly running down his cheeks, and tells him:
“This was a community effort, but you were the one who brought the community together. Without you, none of this would have happened. But it did happen, and you did so good. I’m proud of you, Max is proud of you, Eddie’s proud of you, Robin and Nancy are definitely proud of you, and I bet everyone out there watching is proud of you, too.”
“So be proud of yourself, dumbass!” Max bites out in between sniffles.
“Yeah, Dusty-Buns,” Eddie laughs. “You did a damn good job, kid.”
“First of all, stop calling me that or I will veto your visit,” Dustin snarks, wiping his face. “Second of all, okay yeah. I did do pretty awesome. I guess I might as well be proud.”
The stream ends in laughter and tears and once the money gets donated to Nancy and Robin’s charity, they realize its so much that they end up donating the rest to other charities and people in need. 
Dustin’s popularity surges and he uses it to further other great causes, including funding the legal fees needed for Steve to adopt Max. 
Dustin ends up bringing his internet girlfriend Susie home and Max brings home El and Lucas. The family keeps growing year by year.
Steve and Eddie become both an internet power couple and a giant meme, but the rest of their relationship is kept out of the public eye. Except when they want to gross their kids out by being mushy in interviews or when Steve goes with Eddie to support him at concerts and awards ceremonies. 
Every year the whole family gets together, no matter where they are in the world, and do a marathon stream for upcoming charities and foundations, raising more and more money each time. 
There’s even a several hour long video by an avid fan reporting on the history of the Henderfam Streams, with a 1.5 hour section about the stream where Steve proposed, that Steve likes to watch from time to time, usually with at least one or two other family members by his side.
Essentially, they’re happy.
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