"if i fail to become the world’s greatest swordsman you’ll be disappointed right?" "you could never fail me."
the entire time zoro is bleeding out and luffy is losing his shit every part of him is moving around to check over zoro except the 1 hand he has latched onto his hip like a vice
"i just need to get zoro's sword ready for him. yknow, for when he wakes up."
entire 1m long dialogue of luffy fretting and being indecisive abt what might help zoro bc he has no idea but desperately wants him to be okay
"i'd eat both arms and legs to save zoro's life."
"he might die, luffy." "and i'd do anything to save him. anything."
luffy perched at zoro's bedside staring at his unconscious body. alone. for who knows how long
"aren't we supposed to talk to him? tell him stories?" "what would i say?" "whatever pops in your head. just... speak from the gut." "my gut hasn't been so great lately." "well... at least he'll know it's you."
"i didn't know what to say before but i know now, and it's so simple. i need you, zoro. i need you to wake up." -> zoro immediately wakes up bc its either that or disobey his captain and he aint abt that life -> luffy full straddling him knees on either side of his hips arms planted either side of his head chests pressed together faces inches apart -> luffy pressing the entire front of himself down in a fullbody hug and then gently petting his head
"it's my fault." "no, you didn't do anything wrong. you acted like a captain." "but our crew is falling apart." "no, it's not. i, roronoa zoro, vow to stand by your side from now until the end. so bring on the marines and the pirates and the sea beasts. you're my captain, luffy, and i'm your first mate."
zoro's fist resting over luffy's heart. luffy reaching up to hold his hand. extended moment of heartfelt silence as they gaze into each others eyes
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"Get out of your comfort zone" isn't good advice for everyone.
Some people spend their whole life jumping from one new environment to the next. Some people have never learned to settle down, some don't even think of entertaining the idea. Some people have never known any comfort zone, because they don't build routines for themselves, because they're restless, because they have to feel renewed and excited all the time, so they stay quick on their feet; some people don't allow themselves the luxury of comfort for fear that it'll tie them down - because they've heard how hard it supposedly is to get out of your comfort zone once you're in it - so they're scared that comfort will only make them weak or slow them down.
"Get out of your comfort zone" isn't good advice for everyone. Some people need to be told the opposite.
I've lived my whole life moving from one place to another. I've always had multiple homes. I've always hurried through academic achievements, always had the next step or the next three steps on the ladder in mind. I've always been quick to jump into unknown water, fear of change isn't universal, I don't understand it, I could never afford fear of change.
But sometimes I take a breather. Sometimes I sit in my little flat and wonder how long I'll be able to stay in it before life drives me out of it again. I have to tell myself it's okay, have to remind myself that nobody is forcing me to leave my comfort zone just now. I am allowed to build it and I am allowed to maintain it. I am allowed to keep my friends. I am allowed to stay in one place. I am allowed to feel content.
Nowadays the picture that is painted of a "glorious life" is one of an endless chase for even greater, even bigger, even more. It can be encouraging, but especially for people who are naturally very ambitious, it makes it difficult to remember that you should be - and are allowed to be - content with where you are.
If today you don't feel like leaving your comfort zone, that's fine. Spend the day making your comfort zone a little nicer. Put some candles on, an extra slice of your favourite cheese on your favourite bread. Indulge in little things, remember what you used to love and return to the comfort of it. You're allowed to stay still now and then.
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Okay aside from ibuprofen, I have a serious question for when you feel better—
How do you think Rom felt after she ascended? Do you think she gained any sort of higher perspective that allowed her to see what the others she had left behind were doing and to look back on her own life? Could she see Micolash? Caryll? Willem? Yurie? What did she think of all their goals and ends…most of all…why was she hiding the rituals? To save the world from Mico’s horror or to help him hide his sins out of some lingering sense of care? Was she even think much at all? I wanna hear your thoughts!!
Well hmmm 🤔 First things first, I always felt like Willem urging the hunter to go in the lake was a signal from him to hunt Rom, which I think would be counter-productive if Byrgenwerth's goal was TO conceal that specific ritual! My interpretation is that Rom was a volunteer to conceal the horrors of the cosmos prior to what Micolash did; as far as Byrgenwerth and Willem were concerned, she was their special asset to gatekeep the Eldrich Truth from those who are not ready to handle it, as well as the one concealing Byrgenwerth ITSELF! Argh, this is a slightly long theory to recite, so I will just link it here: ( x ). Byrgenwerth we see in "reality" is only a very small building, and the rest of it (Lecture Hall) is between Nightmare and the waking world! The true univercity used to be accessed through the lake like a portal! .....really, please, just check the linked theory ;-;
So yeah, that's the gist of it! Rom knows that if 'unprepared' people witness a cosmic horror - nothing good will come out of it, and also chooses to protect Byrgenwerth. She cared for humanity in general and the evolution, just like other best Byrgenwerth scholars! So, protect humanity, but also ensure the research to improve it continues.
It was my recent idea that what happened with Byrgenwerth was a very similar effect to creation of Hunter's Dream - Rom having sort of a "pact" with Ebrietas instead! Now, yeah, whether she REALIZES what she's doing is a question that torments me to this day! @_@"
The best explanation for Willem's gesture I can give is that he is aware of Mensis Ritual and wants it stopped, realizing how damning it is for humanity! Damian, the one from School of Mensis himself works with us to break Rom's concealment, too... Like I said before, insanity for "strong ones" and beasthood for "weak ones" could never be stopped by any means as long as ritual is ongoing! The note in the Hunter's Dream for us is my best clue for this headcanon:
The night of our Hunter ends when Mergo is silenced (aka ritual is stopped), so this would be the 'source'. Rom's barrier mitigates the severity of the ritual's effects, but doesn't stop it. Her barrier is penetrable for those who are "ready" (you start to see things like Amygdalae even through her concealment if you have enough Insight), but Mensis Ritual is special in how it still bears effect on people in Yharnam whether they are aware of it or not. One could completely avoid blood and eyes both, but as long as ritual is ongoing, sooner or later they WILL give into either beasthood or madness.. That is not very acceptable, right?
My version of Yurie becomes aware of what is happening, together with Fauxsefka, but agrees to let it happen. She thinks that keeping the ritual but also concealing it could cause a positive effect on humans by making their conscious evolve sooner or later.. So, what if some people become beasts instead of elevated as the cost? Can't help everyone! Fauxsefka thinks she is a callous bitch for that and bails. Laurence, I think, would be really proud of the way she thinks, on the other hand.. Willem, like I said, doesn't seem to agree with something so drastic! (Sadly, the only way to stop the ritual would be to first unveil it, which.. not everyone could survive. Like ripping the bandage.) But Rom is... still up for questioning.
Prior the spider form, Rom did believe in making people smarter through "deception". She witnessed the 'cursed', 'forbidden' knowledge beyond 'Stars and Moon' early and knew that Choir people would not listen. And she did hide Micolash's true antics at Mensis, trusting him to figure things out in his own way. And to do things that no one else would have the courage to do, herself included. I think it would be very bittersweet if even after her ascension, Rom still blindly trusted Micolash to figure everything out while she covers his back, even if now at more instinctive level. So, when Micolash decided to lock the Lecture Hall passageway to protect himself further (after Edgar betrayed the Choir for him), Rom just... let it happen. Helped, even! Placing herself in opposition against Willem. During her human life, she allowed Micolash to do a lot of awful things - with herself too, using her as a test subject, believing that she was "too stupid to decide such things" and Micolash always "knew better", so could that persist even now? That... deep trust, even in the most insane plan, not knowing that Micolash completely lost the objective.
But on the other hand, the idea of her being so completely lost within her own power that she doesn't even understand what happens (and when) is really appealing! That she just experiences and observes so many things, in so many timelines, on so many levels at once... well, until Hunter trying to kill her would make her focus on their specific universe and timeline. :') But yeah, complete transcendence + theme of a powerful "idiot god" that doesn't realize their power is really good. So, yeah, Rom doesn't leave the lake past the Mensis Ritual because of either blind faith in Micolash's plans or because she just... well, everywhere. She might not even notice with how many other things she's seeing. The motivation of milking the "use" of the ritual's effects I already gave to Yurie. 🤔
I just think the whole vibe of her being a genius that never credited herself properly fits her the best! She kept hearing that she was too dumb to decide for humanity or herself from the only family she had and just... agreed with it? Although she is aware that progress is impossible without sacrifice and very daring experiments, as soon as Mensis Ritual happens, Rom believes that "smarter people know what they're doing"... if she IS still aware of anything. Whatever Micolash is doing, he has good intentions and knows what is the price and the result, right...? RIIIIIIIGHT?? Yurie, Damian, Willem and Fauxsefka know Micolash is batshit, though.
If she still has some lucidity - she can "see" people that she used to know, yes. She just would not think of them or miss them in the same way us normal humans do... Memories would be torn, like in a dream, she'd know of Yurie, Micolash or Caryll but not have lucid comprehension of becoming a bit too "enlightened" to interact with them normally. Most of her attempts to interact with someone would transcend the space and time, but also she'd be too incomprehencible in this way... Not even for the most Insightful people. It could come like a dream, or like sixth sense, and Rom would "envision" herself as still a human. Close person like Yurie or very smart person like Caryll would still guess that the strange 'feeling' must be Rom, just not able to grasp her. That'd be beyond their perception! Micolash, that lil shit, would think whatever he could perceive to be a sign from Kos, though. -_-" I think even Ebrietas would not be able to truly grasp Rom now, should she try to contact her via the 'astral projection'! Think of it as almost no one having enough Insight / Eyes Inside to see her like this... This is very lonely, like being a ghost. Rom has to be there physically to communicate! But she should NOT leave the darn Lake!!
Patches, who is also a 'spider', got split across the multiverse in a much more solid way, of course 🤔 Rom is simply Too Many Things to have a similar fate... becoming a person-per-universe is too little to contain her, at least yet. Great Ones are more complex than just bald lil shit who messed with something forbidden!
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so the toilet in my apartment is very loud to me, like it drowns out pretty much anything i play if i have my computer running a video or something (unless i'm near max volume)
now generally i tune it out, but just now i realized the loud water rushing noise was happening far longer than it usually does - not something i can usually notice, because once something starts happening it's hard for me to tell how long it's been happening, but i got the right vibes this time
the fun part of this is, i was pretty sure i could tell what was wrong, because one of our toilets growing up did the same thing for a long time, and i learned how to fix it when i was in like middle school, so i went and checked and it was exactly as i thought
just, feels very good to actually use incidentally-learned knowledge from childhood to fix an adulthood problem, hahaha
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