#where's the class action against the writers for emotional damages

[devilsskettle]

oh man i have a Lot of thoughts about the autopsy of jane doe, both positive and critical For Sure, i'd be SO excited to see your analysis of it! definitely keeping an eye out for that 👀

thanks! i'm working on something article-like to talk about the film and i don't know what i want to do with it yet lol but if i don't post it on here i'll definitely link it. it's mainly a discussion of gender in possession/occult films in the same way that carol clover describes in men, women, and chainsaws - that there are dual plot lines in occult films, usually gendered masculine and feminine respectively, where the "main" feminine plot (the actual possession) is actually a way to explore the "real" masculine plot (the emotional conflict of the "man in crisis" protagonist). typically the man in crisis is too masculine, or "closed" emotionally, where the woman is too "open," which is why she acts as the vehicle for the supernatural occurrence as well as the core emotions of the film. the man has to learn how to become more open (though if he becomes too open, like father karras in the exorcist, he has to die by the end - he has to find a happy medium, where he doesn't actually transgress gender expectations too much. clover calls this state the "new masculine," and we might apply the term "toxic masculinity" to the "closed" emotional state). part of the "opening up" feature of the story is that it allows men to be highly emotionally expressive in situations where they otherwise might not be allowed to, which is cathartic for the assumed primary audience of these films (young men). another feature of the genre is white science vs black magic (once you exhaust the scientific "rational" explanations, you have to accept that something magic is happening). the autopsy of jane doe does this even more than the films she discusses when she published the book in 1992 (the exorcist, poltergeist, christine, etc) because the supernaturally influenced young woman who becomes this kind of vehicle is more of an object than a character. she doesn't have a single line of dialogue or even blink for the entire runtime of the movie. the camerawork often pans to her as if to show her reactions to the events of the movie, which seems kind of pointless because it's the same reaction the whole time (none) but it allows the viewer to project anything they want onto her - from personal suffering to cunning and spite. 

compare again to the exorcist: is the story actually about regan mcneil? no. but do we care about her? sure (clover says no, but i think we at least feel for her situation lol). and do we get an idea of what she's like as a person? yes. even though her pain and her body are used narratively as a framework for karras' emotional/religious crisis, we at least see her as a person. both she and her mother are expendable to the "real" plot but they're very active in their roles in the "main" plot - our "jane doe" isn't afforded even that level of agency or identity. so. is that inherently sexist? well, no - if there were other women in the film who were part of the "real" plot, i would say that the presence of women with agency and identity demonstrate enough regard for the personhood of women to make the gender of the subject of the autopsy irrelevant. but there are none. of the three important women in the film, we have 1) an almost corpse, 2) an absent (dead) mother, and 3) a one dimensional girlfriend who is killed off for a man's character development/cathartic expression of emotions. all three are just platforms for the men in crisis of this narrative. 

and, to my surprise, much of the reception to the film is to embrace it as a feminist story because the witch is misconstrued as a badass, powerful, Strong Female Character girl boss type for getting revenge on the men who wronged her, with absolutely no consideration given to what the movie actually ends up saying about women. and the director has said that he embraces this interpretation, but never intended it. so like. of course you're going to embrace the interpretation that gives you critical acclaim and the moral high ground. but it's so fucking clear that it was never his intention to say anything about feminism, or women in general, or gender at all. so i find it very frustrating that people read the film that way because it's just. objectively wrong.

there's also things i want to say about this idea that clover talks about in a different chapter of the book when she discusses the country/city divide in a lot of horror (especially rape-revenge films) in which the writer intends the audience to identify with the city characters and be against the country characters (think of, like, house of 1000 corpses - there's pretty explicit socioeconomic regional tension between the evil country residents and the travelers from the city) but first, they have to address the real harm that the City (as a whole) has inflicted upon the Country (usually in the forms of environmental and economic destruction) so in order to justify the antagonization the country people are characterized by, their "retaliation" for these wrongs has to be so extreme and misdirected that we identify with the city people by default (if country men feel victimized by the City and react by attacking a city woman who isn't complicit in the crimes of the City in any of the violent, heinous ways horror movies employ, of course we won't sympathize with them). why am i bringing this up? well, clover says this idea is actually borrowed from the western genre, where native americans are the Villains even as white settlers commit genocide - so they characterize them as extremely savage and violent in order to justify violence against them (in fiction and in real life). the idea is to address the suffering of the Other and delegitimize it through extreme negative characterization (often, with both the people from the country and native americans, through negative stereotyping as well as their actions). so i think that shows how this idea is transferred between different genres and whatever group of people the writers want the viewers to be against, and in this movie it’s happening on the axis of gender instead of race, region, or class. obviously the victims of the salem witch trials suffered extreme injustice and physical violence (especially in the film as victim of the ritual the body clearly underwent) BUT by retaliating for the wrongs done to her, apparently (according to the main characters) at random, she's characterized as monstrous and dangerous and spiteful. her revenge is unjustified because it’s not targeted at the people who actually committed violence against her. they say that the ritual created the very thing it was trying to destroy - i.e. an evil witch. she becomes the thing we're supposed to be afraid of, not someone we’re supposed to sympathize with. she’s othered by this framework, not supported by it, so even if she’s afforded some power through her posthumous magical abilities, we the viewer are not supposed to root for her. if the viewer does sympathize with her, it’s in spite of the writing, not because of it. the main characters who we are intended to identify with feel only shallow sympathy for her, if any - even when they realize they’ve been cutting open a living person, they express shock and revulsion, but not regret. in fact, they go back and scalp her and take out her brain. after realizing that she’s alive! we’re intended to see this as an acceptable retaliation against the witch, not an act of extreme cruelty or at the very least a stupid idea lol. 

(also - i hate how much of a buzzword salem is in movies like this lol, nothing about her injuries or the story they “read” on her is even remotely similar to what happened in salem, except for the time period. i know they don’t explicitly say oh yeah, she was definitely from salem, but her injuries really aren’t characteristic of american executions of witches at all so i wish they hadn’t muddied the water by trying to point to an actual historical event. especially since i think the connotation of “witch” and the victims of witch trials has taken on a modern projection of feminism that doesn’t really make sense under any scrutiny. anyway)

not to mention the ending: what was the writer intending the audience to get from the ending? that the cycle of violence continues, and the witch’s revenge will move on and repeat the same violence in the next place, wherever she ends up. we’re supposed to feel bad for whoever her next victims will be. but what about her? i think the movie figures her maybe as triumphant, but she’s going to keep being passed around from morgue to morgue, and she’s going to be vivisected again and again, with no way to communicate her pain or her story. the framework of the story doesn’t allow for this ending to be tragic for her, though - clearly the tragedy lies with the father and son, finally having opened up to one another, unfortunately too late, and dying early, unjust deaths at the hands of this unknowable malignant entity. it doesn’t do justice to her (or the girlfriend, who seems to be nothing but collateral damage in all of this - in the ending sequence, when the police finds the carnage, it only shows them finding the bodies of the men. the girlfriend is as irrelevant to the conclusion as she is to the rest of the plot). 

but does this mean the autopsy of jane doe is a “bad” movie? i guess it depends on your perspective. ultimately, it’s one of those questions that i find myself asking when faced with certain kinds of stories that inevitably crop up often in our media: how much can we excuse a story for upholding regressive social norms (even unintentionally) before we have to discount the whole work? i don’t think the autopsy of jane doe warrants complete rejection for being “problematic” but i think the critical acclaim based on the idea that it’s a feminist film should be rejected. i still consider it a very interesting concept with strong acting and a lot of visual appeal, and it’s a very good piece of atmospheric horror. it’s does get a bit boring at certain points, but the core of the film is solid. it’s also not trying to be sexist, arguably it’s not overtly sexist at all, it’s just very very androcentric at the expense of its female characters, and i’m genuinely shocked that anyone would call it feminist. so sure, let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water, but let’s also be critical about how it’s using women as the stage for men’s emotional conflict 

also re: my description of this little project as “a film isn’t feminist just because there’s a woman’s name in the title” - i actually don’t want to skim over the fact that “jane doe” isn’t a real name. of the three women in the film, only one has a real name; the other two are referred to by names given to them by men. i’ll conclude on this note because i want to emphasize the lack of even very basic ways of recognizing individual identity afforded to women in this film. so yeah! the end! thanks for your consideration if you read this far! 

#the autopsy of jane doe #men women and chainsaws #horror #also to be clear i'm not saying that the exorcist is somehow more feminist because. it's not. i'm just using it as a frame of reference #you'd think a film from 2016 would escape the ways gender is constructed in one from 1973 but that's not really the case #i actually rewatched the end of the movie to make sure that what i said about the girlfriend's body not being found at the end was accurate #and yeah! it is! the intended audience-identified character shifts to the sheriff who - that's right! - is also a man #the camerawork is: shot of the dead son / shot of the sheriff looking sad / shot of the dead father / shot of the sheriff looking sad / #shot of jane doe / shot of the sheriff looking upset angry and suspicious #which is how we're supposed to feel about the conclusion for each character #the girlfriend is notably absent in this sequence #anyway! this is less about me condemning this movie as sexist and more about looking at how women in occult horror #continue to be relegated to secondary plot lines at best or to set dressing for the primary plot line at worst #and what that says about identification of viewers with certain characters and why writers have written the story that way #i think the reception of the film as Feminist might actually point to a shift in identification - but to still be able to enjoy the movie #while identifying with a female character you need to change the narrative that's actually presented to you #hence the rampant impulse to misinterpret the intention of the filmmakers #we do want it to be feminist! the audience doesn't identify with the 'default' anymore automatically #i think that's actually a pretty positive development at least in viewership - if only filmmakers would catch up lol #oh and i only very briefly touched on this here but the white science vs black magic theme is pretty clearly reflected in this film also

[raeynbowboi]

The Character Forge: Building an Embodiment of Insanity

I’m going to diverge from my usual routine a bit today. Normally, I pick a pop culture character and make a build for them. But today, I want to do something different. I’m going to build a character around a theme, motif, or focus area. I’ll be covering a character focused on insanity. My goal for this build is to create a character who is explicitly crafted to instill and feed paranoia, delusions, and psychological trauma in as many facets as possible, including racial traits, feats, and spells where applicable. 

Building on Insanity:

it’s easy to simply say I want to drive people crazy, but it’s another thing to actually map out the effects you want to have on people. So before we can address individual spells and features, we need to discuss what impacts we want our abilities to have.

Alter Senses: Spells such as Unearthly Chorus, Blindness/Deafness or Blur that distort what a person sees and hears is a great way to instill a dread of insanity. Spells that buff your abilities or debuff the target are great ways to effect people’s perceptions.

Hallucinations: Similar to alter senses, Hallucinations cause people to see things that aren’t really there, playing a trick on their mind. A focus on illusion magic will help with this.

Fear: While insanity is not intrinsically linked to horror, the ravings of writers like Lovecraft and Poe often feature protagonists who have lost their minds or interact with people who have, usually accompanied by horrible nightmare imagery. Frightening people is a good way to warp their mind.

Mind Control: There’s nothing scarier than realizing you don’t have full control of yourself. Through Charmed effects like Compulsion, Command, and Dominate Person, you take away free will and make their mind your plaything.

Mental Anguish: a focus on attacking the mind itself, psychic damage is the best way to actively attack the minds of your victims.

Mind Alterations: Permanent changes to someone’s mind like Modify Memory can be truly horrifying, especially when the stolen or altered memories make it so that a person’s mind no longer makes sense.

Powers, Features, and Abilities

Altered Senses Blindness Deafness (Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard, Spore Druid, Fiend Warlock, Undying Warlock) Blur (Artificer, Sorcerer, Wizard, Desert Land Druid, Hexblade Warlock) Maddening Darkness (Warlock, Wizard) Mental Prison (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Pass Without Trace (Druid, Ranger, Trickery Cleric) Power Word Pain (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Unearthly Chorus (Bard)

Illusions, Delusions, and Hallucinations Alter Self (Artificer, Sorcerer, Wizard, Warlock: Master of Myriad Forms*) Disguise Self (Artificer, Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard, Trickery Cleric, Warlock: Mask of Many Faces) Dissonant Whispers (Bard, Aberrant Mind Sorcerer, Great Old One Warlock) Distort Value (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Hallucinatory Terrain (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard) Illusory Dragon (Wizard) Major Image (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Minor Illusion (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Mirage Arcane (Bard, Druid, Wizard) Mirror Image (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard, Trickery Cleric, Coast Land Druid) Mislead (Bard, Wizard) Project Image (Bard, Wizard) Silent Image (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard) Simulacrum (Wizard) Weird (Wizard)

Psychic Barrage Mind Sliver (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Mind Spike (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Phantasmal Force (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard) Phantasmal Killer (Wizard, Hexblade Warlock) Psychic Scream (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Shadow Blade (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Synaptic Static (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard)

Fear and Paranoia Cause Fear (Warlock, Wizard) Enemies Abound (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Eyebite (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Fear (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard, Oath of Conquest) Hallow* (Cleric, Fiend Warlock, Divine Soul Sorcerer, Theurgy Wizard)

Brainwashing Command (Cleric, Paladin, Fiend Warlock, Divine Soul Sorcerer, Theurgy Wizard) Compulsion (Bard, Order Cleric, Heroism Paladin, Aberrant Mind Sorcerer Warlock: Bewitching Whispers) Dominate Person (Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard, Order, Trickery Cleric, Conquest, Oathbreaker, Treachery Paladin, Archfey, Great Old One Warlock) Enthrall (Bard, Sorcerer, Heroism Paladin) Incite Greed (Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Mass Suggestion (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Otto’s Irresistible Dancing (Bard, Wizard) Suggestion (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Tasha’s Hideous Laughter (Bard, Wizard, Great Old One Warlock)

Mind Altering Crown of Madness (Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard, Oathbreaker Paladin) Confusion (Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard, Knowledge Cleric, Oathbreaker, Treachery Paladin, Warlock: Dreadful Word) Feeblemind (Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard) Gift of Gab (Bard, Wizard) Glibness (Bard, Warlock) Mind Blank (Bard, Wizard) Modify Memory (Bard, Wizard, Trickery Cleric, Aberrant Mind Sorcerer)

Eldritch Horrors (Fear of the Unknown) Arms of Hadar (Warlock, Aberrant Mind Sorcerer) Create Homunculus (Wizard) Enervation (Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard) Evard’s Black Tentacles (Warlock, Aberrant Mind Sorcerer) Hunger of Hadar (Warlock, Aberrant Mind Sorcerer)

Oh How the Mind Races

When setting up a race for this build, like with the spell list, we need a race whose features exacerbate the insanity features.

Changeling: Being able to shapeshift so easily is a great way to make someone feel crazy.

Eladrin Elf - Winter: Their Fey Teleportation can Frighten those they appear next to.

Gith: They have psionic features.

Kalashtar: Split between two minds, Kalashtar is a race with psychic powers.

Simic Hybrid: While not inherently mental or insane, their existence as gene spliced humans with animal features, it’s an easy way to invoke Lovecraftian Horror.

A Class in Judgement

Bard     Whispers: This subclass is hellbent on attacking the mind, unearthing people’s fears, and preying on them.

Sorcerer     Aberrant Mind: This subclass gets their power from a mental aberration, and is a Sorcerer variation on the Great Old One Warlock, and invokes Lovecraftian Horror.

Warlock     Great Old One: Invoking the twisted mind of H.P. Lovecraft, who himself was paranoid, the Old Gods similarly prey upon the minds of mortals.

Wizard     Divination: Not really a mental subclass, but you could flavor Portent as messing with perceptions, and making people misjudge their aim.     Illusion: This school of wizardry is focused on making people believe things that aren’t there.

Stats and Proficiencies

As the main classes suggested cast with Charisma, that is our main stat. You need to convince people to believe your mad ravings are true. Dexterity will make you hard to hit, all the better to convince people you aren’t real, are a figment of their imagination, or otherwise paranormal. A good Constitution ensures that even if you are hit, you can act like it’s no big deal, or like you’re supernaturally immune to pain or injury. Having high Wisdom reinforces your own perceptions and makes sure you can’t be fooled. Strength will follow, it’s not a super important stat for this build, but if you want to deal at least decent damage with your physical attacks, it’s a little important. And Intelligence gets dumped. Book Smarts won’t help you much in deceiving people or driving them insane.

Race: Changeling Background: Charlatan Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Class: College of Whispers Bard (14)             Aberrant Mind Sorcerer (6) Base Stats:    Strength: 10 (0)    Dexterity: 19 (+4)    Constitution: 14 (+2)    Intelligence: 8 (-1)    Wisdom: 12 (+1)    Charisma: 20 (+5) Saving Throws:    Strength: 0    Dexterity: +10    Constitution: +2    Intelligence: -1    Wisdom: +1    Charisma: +11 Combat Stats:     HP: 137     AC: 17     Speed: 30     Initiative: +7     Proficiency Bonus: +6     Passive Perception: 17     Dark Vision: 0 feet Proficiencies:     Deception (Charlatan)     Insight (Changeling)     Intimidation (Changeling)     Perception (Bard)     Persuasion (Bard)     Slight of Hand (Changeling)     Stealth (Bard) Skills: Acrobatics: +7                Medicine: +4 Animal Handling: +4       Nature: +2 Arcana: +2                      Perception: +7 Athletics: +3                    Performance: +8 Deception: +17               Persuasion: +17 History: +2                      Religion: +2 Insight: +13                     Sleight of Hand: +10 Intimidation: +17             Stealth: +10 Investigation: +2             Survival: +4 Damage Resistances:   Psychic Sorcerer Feature: Sorcery Points   6 Sorcery Points Sorcerer Feature: Metamagic   Extended Spell   Subtle Spell Bard Feature: Magical Secrets    Evard’s Black Tentacles    Immolation    Pass Without Trace    Phantsmal Killer

Spell Slots    1st (4)    2nd (3)    3rd (3)    4th (3)    5th (3)    6th (2)    7th (2)    8th (1)    9th (1)

Spellbook of Madness

Cantrips                                2nd Level                        4th Level    Chill Touch                             Blindness/Deafness         Compulsion    Dancing Lights                       Blur                                  Confusion    Friends                                  Calm Emotions                 Evard’s Black Tentacles    Mending                                Crown of Madness            Phantasmal Killer    Message                                Darkness                       5th Level    Mind Sliver                             Detect Thoughts               Dominate Person    Minor Illusion                          Mind Spike                       Immolation    Prestidigitation                       Mirror Image                     Mislead    Unearthly Chorus                   Pass Without Trace          Modify Memory 1st Level                                  Phantasmal Force             Synaptic Static    Arms of Hadar                       Shadow Blade                6th Level    Dissonant Whispers            3rd Level                             Eyebite    False Life                               Enemies Abound            7th Level    Tasha’s Hideous Laughter     Fear                                   Project Image                                                  Hunger of Hadar                                                  Major Image                                                  Sending 

Actions:    Countercharm: Using a Performance action grants friendly creatures within 30 feet radius advantage against charmed and frightened conditions. Bonus Actions:     Bardic Inspiration: Add 1d10 to 5 allies’ rolls per long rest.     Flexible Casting: Convert your Sorcery Points into spell slots. Features:     Change Appearance: Shapeshift as an action. You have advantage on Deception checks to cover your tracks.     Divergent Persona: You have proficiency with a tool. Create a false identity for this proficiency. While using this identity, you have doubled proficiency with the tool of your choice.     False Identity: You have created a fake identity, and can forge documents if you have seen their handwriting.     Font of Inspiration: Regain a Bardic Inspiration after a rest.     Invasive Thoughts: Create a telepathic link with a creature 30 feet away as a bonus action.     Mantle of Whispers: When someone dies, steal their shadow and wear their shadow as a disguise for an hour. You gain access to the dead person’s general information.     Psionic Defense: You resist Psychic damage.     Psionic Sorcery: You cast Aberrant Mind spells without components.     Psionic Spells: You gain additional Aberrant Mind spells     Psychic Blades: Add 5d6 Psychic damage to your melee weapon attacks.     Shadow Lore: Those who fail a Wisdom check become Charmed to believe that you know and will expose the deepest darkest secrets, and obey your commands out of fear of being found out.     Song of Rest: With a song, add 1d10 to healing effects from a rest.     Unsettling Visage: Once per rest, impose disadvantage on a creature trying to hurt you.     Warped Being: your AC is 13 + your DEX mod while without armor     Words of Terror: Your words instill fear for 1 hour.

This build was a bit unorthodox, but it was also a lot of fun to put together. Can you think of a better way to embody madness and insanity in DnD 5e? Do you think you’ll use this in a campaign? Do you have any ideas for something else I can do with DnD 5e? Thanks for joining me, and I’ll see you guys next time in the Character Forge, where heroes are made.

#dungeons and dragons #the character forge #insanity #insane #crazy #madness #dionysus #bill cipher #lovecraft #cthulu #hp lovecraft #horror #terror #halloween #nightmare #illusion #illusions #delusion #delusional #dnd #dnd 5e #5e #5th edition #fifth edition #grim #dark #darkness #shadow #creepy #creepypasta

[nerdythebard]

#11: Gilan [Ranger's Apprentice]

Hello there!

NO! ...Not yet. One day, maybe.

Anyway, today we're building Gilan, a Rangers from the fantastic Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan. This request was made by my best friend, @iximaz. They sure know I love challenges. Now, let's see if I can surprise them with this build.

Next Time: The Question... the First Question, the oldest question in the universe, that must never be answered, hidden in plain sight!

Now, what do we need to make Gilan work?

Silent & Deadly: Every Ranger's ultimate party trick. They are able to move in complete silence and blend into the environment so well, people tell stories about their supernatural powers... Rangers are basically Medieval ninjas, and Gilan was stated to be the best of them all at Unseen Movement.

Look at my Horse: All Rangers have a special, almost familiar-like bond with their mounts. We shall give Gilan a horse, or at the very least skills to obtain and maintain a horse.

Brains & Brawn: Rangers are trained in a large variety of topics, ranging (heh) from survival and archery to cooking and sewing. We need to be a little skill monkey.

---

Gilan is a Human (although a Tabaxi would also work if you're feeling adventurous). As always, pick a Variant option, it's just better. We get a +1 to two abilities of our choice, go for Dexterity and Wisdom. We also learn Common and one language of our choice, one skill of our choice (Investigation), and we can take a feat. Skulker works fantastically for sneaky Rangers; we can hide in lightly obscured places, missing an attack doesn't reveal our hiding spot, and we don't get a disadvantage on Perception checks in dim light.

Gilan is the son of one of Araluen's most respected knights, but he himself doesn't seem to use his position and family privilege enough to give him the Noble background. Instead, let's focus on his Ranger career and make him the Folk Hero. This background gives us proficiency in Animal Handling and Survival, proficiency with land vehicles (carriages, wagons, etc.) and one set of artisan's tools (woodcarver's tools let us create our own arrows), and we get the Rustic Hospitality feature; if we're good to common folk, we can find a place to sleep or hide in their settlements.

ABILITY SCORES

Dexterity is our highest score, we're sneaky and we're accurate with a bow. Follow that up with Constitution, we need endurance for long travels. Wisdom is next, almost all of our knowledge is practical street-smarts and survival techniques.

Next is Charisma, we've managed to charm at least one lucky lady, who knows who else fell for Gilan (fan-fiction writers do!). Strength is a little lower than I want it to be, especially since we are trained in swordsmanship. Finally, we're dumping Intelligence - we're not stupid, we just need other abilities more.

CLASS

Level 1 - Ranger: Unsurprisingly, we start with Ranger (Revised). Our Hit Die is a d10, we get [10 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points, proficiency with light armour, medium armour, shields, simple weapons, and martial weapons. Standard leather armour sounds like the right choice for a Ranger, and we can't forget about a bow, daggers, throwing knives (here: darts) and - in Gilan's case - a sword. Our saving throws are Strength and Dexterity, and we get to choose three class skills: let's go for Insight, Perception, and Stealth.

We start off this class by choosing our Favoured Enemy: beasts, fey, humanoids, monstrosities, or undead. We get +2 to damage rolls against our chosen type, as well as an advantage on Survival check when tracking them and Intelligence check when recalling information about them. We also learn one language of our choice.

The Natural Explorer feature grants us several benefits when exploring the wilderness:

We no longer suffer from difficult terrain;

We have an advantage on initiative rolls;

On our first combat turn, we have an advantage against a creature that hadn't made its move yet.

Additionally, if we're travelling for longer than 1 hour:

Difficult terrain doesn't slow the group's travel time;

The group cannot become lost, unless via magical means;

The group cannot be surprised, even if engaged in an activity (foraging, tracking, etc.);

If we move by ourselves, we can move stealthily at a normal pace;

When we forage, we find twice as much food;

While tracking other creatures, we also learn their exact number, size, and how long ago they passed through the area we're currently at.

Level 2 - Ranger: At this level, we get to choose our Fighting Style, and Archery is a no-brainer, it's the preferred combat option of all RA Rangers. We get a +2 bonus to all attack rolls we make with our ranged weapons.

Although RA Rangers don't use magic, D&D Rangers get access to Spellcasting. Wisdom is our spellcasting ability, we get no cantrips, and we begin with two 1st-level spell slots:

Beast Bond is a divination spell that creates an empathic bond between us and a beast of our choice, like a horse. For 10 minutes (concentration), we can communicate telepathically with our beast, and it is able to reply with simple emotions and concepts that we understand. The beast also gets an advantage on attack rolls against any creature within 5 feet of us. Just remember the password.

Hunter's Mark makes us focus our attention on a particular target. For 1 hour (concentration), you deal extra 1d6 damage to the marked creature, and we have an advantage on Perception and Survival checks related to tracking and finding it. If the marked target dies before the spell ends, we can use a bonus action to mark a new creature.

Level 3 - Ranger: We gain the Primeval Awareness feature, which lets us communicate simple concepts and ideas with beasts around us. We learn of the beast's emotional state, mood, and intent, which might save us from a fight.

Additionally, we can spend 1 minute concentrating, and detect if our Favoured Enemy type is somewhere within 5 miles of us. We learn the enemy numbers, presence, and the general direction from us.

This is also where we pick our subclass, our Ranger Conclave. For quiet and stealthy Rangers, who keep mostly to the shadows and avoid open conflicts, the Gloom Stalker Conclave works best. First, we learn the Disguise Self spell, which lets us change our appearance for 1 hour. We also gain the Dread Ambusher feature, we can get our Wisdom modifier added to our Initiative roll. At the start of our first turn, our ground speed increases by 10 feet and lasts so until the end of that turn. If we make an Attack during that turn, we can make one additional Attack. If that attack hits, the target takes extra 1d8 damage. Finally, we get Umbral Sight, which grants us 60 feet of darkvision. We are also invisible to creatures with darkvision if we're moving in the darkness.

We gain one more 1st-level spell: Snare utilizes 25 feet of rope to create a concealed trap that lasts for 8 hours. A creature that walks into the radius of the trap must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw, or be hoisted 3 feet in the air and restrained until the spell ends.

Level 4 - Ranger: Time for our first Ability Score Improvement! Let's put two points into Dexterity, to get it maxed out ASAP.

Level 5 - Ranger: From our subclass, we get the Extra Attack. This lets us attack twice during one Attack action.

We get another spell from our Gloom Stalker Magic table: Rope Trick uses at least 60 feet of rope to create an extradimensional space that fits up to eight Medium-sized creatures for 1 hour. Attacks and spells cannot reach the space, but anyone inside it can observe the surrounding area.

We also unlock 2nd-level spells: Pass Without Trace enhances our stealth skills for 1 hour (concentration). For the duration, each creature within 30 feet from us that we choose gets a +10 to their Stealth checks and cannot be traced via magical means.

Level 6 - Rogue: Jumping ships for the rest of the build. When multiclassing into Rogue, we gain proficiencies with light armour (got it already), thieves' tools, and we get to choose one class skill; let's get Acrobatics.

1st-level Rogues begin with Expertise. We select two skills and double our proficiency bonus (NOT modifier) for checks involving those. Stealth and Perception are the skills every RA Ranger must hone. We also learn Thieves' Cant, a system of phrases/gestures/sounds used by Rogues in their line of work. Additionally, the Sneak Attack feature gives us extra 1d6 damage to any creature we have an advantage against. We don't have to get an advantage to roll Sneak Attack if another enemy of our target is within 5 feet of it, or the target is incapacitated.

Level 7 - Rogue: At this level, we gain Cunning Action, which is a series of actions we can use as a bonus action on our turn. These include Dash, Disengage, Hide, and Aim (if you include Unearthed Arcana: Class Feature Variants).

Level 8 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack die increases to 2d6. We also get to choose our second subclass, our Roguish Archetype. Now, there is no Ranger-like subclass for a Rogue, but I did mention that RA Rogues were basically ninjas, right? The Scout Archetype got us covered! This stealth-and-survival subclass gives us two features at the start: Skirmisher makes us very difficult to pin down, letting us move up to half of our ground speed when the enemy ends its turn within 5 feet of us, and not provoke an opportunity attack. Survivalist gives us proficiency in Nature and Survival skills. Since we already have the latter, our proficiency bonus is doubled for Survival checks.

Level 9 - Rogue: Time for another ASI. Once again, let's increase our Dexterity to get it to 20.

Level 10 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack die once again increases, this time to 3d6. At this level, we gain Uncanny Dodge. When an attacker that we can see hits us with an attack, we can use our reaction to halve the damage.

Level 11 - Rogue: We get another Expertise option. Once again, we have a choice between two skills, or one skill and our thieves' tools. Let's go for Insight and Acrobatics.

Level 12 - Rogue: At this level, we get Evasion. This incredibly useful feature allows us to nimble our way out of some AoE effects, such as the Fireball spell. When we are forced to make a Dexterity saving throw that would result in taking half damage on a successful one, we take no damage is we pass and half damage if we fail.

Our Sneak Attack die also improves to 4d6.

Level 13 - Rogue: Another level, another ASI. This time, let's raise our Intelligence by two points, to get rid of the negative modifier.

Level 14 - Rogue: We get another subclass upgrade. Superior Mobility increases our ground speed by 10 feet.

Our Sneak Attack die becomes 5d6.

Level 15 - Rogue: Once again, we get an ASI. Let's put one point into Strength and one into Intelligence.

Level 16 - Rogue: Our skill increase with Reliable Talent. From this point onwards, we cannot roll lower than 10 when making checks for skills we are proficient in.

Our Sneak Attack die becomes 6d6.

Level 17 - Rogue: Time for the final ASI of the build, to round up the odd numbers, raise up Strength and Intelligence once again.

Level 18 - Rogue: This time, we get the final subclass upgrade of the build. Ambush Master grants us an advantage on our Initiative rolls. Additionally, the first creature we hit during our first combat round becomes easier to hit; all attacks against it are made with an advantage until the end of our next round.

Our Sneak Attack die becomes 7d6.

Level 19 - Rogue: Our senses are so sharp at this point, we don't even need sight. With Blindsense, we can detect creatures within 10 feet of us, even if they are hiding or invisible.

Level 20 - Rogue: Our capstone is Rogue 15 and the Slippery Mind feature, which grants us proficiency in Wisdom saving throws.

Finally, our Sneak Attack die becomes 8d6.

---

And that's Gilan the Ranger. Let's see what we created:

First of all, we're an absolute legend when it comes to unseen movement and sneaking around. With the Skulker feat, Expertise in Stealth, Pass Without Trace spell, and Reliable Talent we cannot roll lower than 27! We have darkvision and blindsense, which is rare for a human, and we can hide from other creatures with darkvision. We have a large repertoire of skills we're proficient with, and with a +7 to initiative, we're definitely be somewhere in the front of turn order.

Unfortunately, our sword skills are pretty neglected, even with a +7 to attack and damage rolls. Extra Attack helps out slightly, though. Our AC is 16, and we have 149 Hit Points on average. Our Intelligence and Charisma are also pretty low, so saving throws on those abilities might be tricky.

---

Anyway, that's it for Gilan. I hope you enjoyed it, and I'll see you next time... for a very... difficult build.

- Nerdy out!

#d&d #dnd 5e #dungeons and dragons #character building #ranger's apprentice #ra #gilan #ranger #gloom stalker #rogue #scout #araluen

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

May i request a hc or fic of Liora, Zhora and Vivienne finding out that their girlfriend has been psychologically/emotionally abused by their parents.

VIVIENNE WARNINGS APPLY: Mentions of Homophobia, external and internalized Mentions of Strict/Bullying parents. Mention of Conversion Camp -  Drugging, Negative association therapy, IMPLIED forced masturbation, illness and cane usage. Mention of controlling, forceful, cheating partner. Self Blaming. Spoilers for route. A writer trying a hand at serious Angst. WRITTEN BY @evoedBD +++++++++++++

How many times could she do this? How many times would she dash herself upon the rocks and drive Silvana to raise the shield between them? How many times would her own actions lead to that one-word spilling from gorgeous lips?

“Red.”

The word was safety. A shield. An absolute. It was the uncrossable line, a barrier reinforced by projected personas and deadly kisses. It was woven into a portrait of femininity, as delicate and deadly as any nightshade. It was warmth from the cold, comfort from leering eyes that aimed to feast just below the hemline of short black dresses, or dip beneath the shadowy garbs of lace. Now, safety was turned against her. Such a simple word suddenly tore at her heart, became the blood staining her hands as she attempted to understand how she had plunged the knife into the loving artist’s heart. Was this the price she had to pay to keep any form of happiness? Was she to continue to devastate those she cared for most just to feel a slither of comfort?

There was nothing she could do but freeze. She was rendered helpless in the face of Silvana’s tears; a net trying to hold the tide at bay. Silvana’s tears did not come with violent sobs and reaction, that was perhaps what was most terrifying of all. Silvana’s tears were fat, plummeting from her eyes, down her cheeks and off the point of her chin to mix with the paints laid out before her. They were so silent, so defeated that Vivienne felt as if she were struck. Vivienne trembled so violently long legs could no longer hold her. She dropped her rump to the floor, sliding down the wall until her knees were tucked protectively against her chest. Crushing her breast to her heart, as if the pressure could stop sorrow flooding her veins with every steady beat. Silently, she waited, watching Silvana simply mix the paints. Mix, and mix, and mix… lost in the simple action, as if her mind was elsewhere. The glaze to her chocolate eyes was not that glaze of looking into a world only she could see, was not the fogginess of an artist bringing a vision to life. This was darker, enough to shadow the vibrance usually seen across Silvana’s face.

“I was 14.” Silvana finally broke the silence. Vivienne lifted her head, body instantly on alert, ready to leap into the fray to battle off the demons haunting Silvana… except, she couldn’t. Memories had no physical form, nor consciousness to battle. To fight them would be to lay hands on Silvana; to play cruel mind games with Silvana. That was not something Vivienne was prepared to do, not again.

“I’m Cuban American, you know this.”

Vivienne could only nod. Of course she knew this, the information had not been difficult for a world class thieving gang to acquire when scouting for their forgery artist.

“Dad was born in the states, so he was a little less strict, but my family is religious. Highly religious. Old school, even. I was 14 when I made the mistake of talking about this girl I’d seen. I didn’t know I was bisexual then, or why I was so drawn to her, only that she was beautiful and funny, and her laugh made my stomach flutter and I couldn’t get her off my mind. My parents wanted to help, they were scared I would go to hell, that the Devil had me. My uncle and the pastors convinced them I was beyond prayer. That only the most faithful could save me… so my parents sent me to conversion camp.” Silvana stopped, lips quivering, breath laboured. She closed her eyes against the flood of memories, taking a deep breath to centre herself.

“Sil-” Vivienne never even got to finish that name before said woman cut her off.

“Vivi. Please. If you talk…” Silvana’s voice broke. She shook her head, trying to dislodge the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.

“I need to just get through this.” The artist pleaded; it was not the type of begging Vivienne would ever wish to hear fall from her lips. The seductress was once more robbed of her words when she gazed at Silvana’s face. The light was gone, as if trapped behind glistening layers of frosted glass which dulled chocolate eyes. Full lips fell into a frown, burdened by the weight of everything Silvana needed to say. It was enough to slice through Vivienne’s thick skin, to pierce her heart. At Vivienne’s meek nod, Silvana took another deep breath, steeling herself for what she was about to reveal.

“Camp was… they drugged me. They deliberately made me ill as they showed me… or they forced me to… sin. Sin until I was sick. If I didn’t, the Nuns had canes and…” Silvana swallowed, shaking her head violently, as if she could dislodge the nightmares. Vivienne was almost sick. A hiccup of a sob escaped her. Her hand flew up to her mouth, covering her horrified expressions and stifling the wounded sounds about to escape on Silvana’s behalf. If only that was all Silvana had to say, all she’d endured. Unfortunately, Vivienne could already see, already knew that it was the iceberg in an ocean of abuse in the name of therapy.

“I can’t…” Silvana’s whisper was bittersweet. Selfishly, Vivienne was thankful. She hadn’t used her most waterproof makeup, and anymore was bound to turn her into a blubbering mess. Or a vengeful demon upon the church. The world was not ready for the vengeance she could plan, even without laying a finger on a single soul. Even if she had to charm and seduce every Priest, every Nun and even the Saints themselves. She would have them crooning their sins as ballads, confessing how many victims there were of their crimes… and if they did not? The Poppy had the power to make those crimes a reality, and to seize their treasures while they were at it.

“Once I got home, my parents kept treating me as if I was sick. If I mentioned any girls, Mom would make me spend hours praying to a painting of Jesus. Dad just… he blamed himself. Thought that all the stories he taught me to love took me from God. Everybody at school and Church knew. Lots of them made jokes about it all the time. I was so scared and disgusted and confused, but I couldn’t ask anybody for help. I couldn’t trust them. I prayed. Every day I prayed so hard for those feelings to go away. To not look at some women and… want them in the way I wanted some men. I kept looking for guys, the type of guys a good Godly woman should want, but there weren’t any. Until I got a summer job with one of my father’s friends, working with his son. We were both adults, but he was older and had a very, well, “strong” personality.” Silvana’s tone left little to the imagination. Vivienne, for all her twenty-six years of emotional and physical conditioning, couldn’t resist flinching. She didn’t want to hear it, hear what she already had her suspicions had happened. She knew Silvana had faced mistreatment, the artist had confessed as much after doubting Vivienne, arguing in the streets of Saint Petersburg. She’d confessed to small things which had damaged her trust, and those little things were enough for Vivienne to see red all over again. The Seductress bristled, pressing her back to the wall as she braved the storm Silvana was unleashing. It was better this way, that Silvana was not alone in the floods anymore. They were family, and Vivienne was all too willing to cast aside the sickly feeling in her gut to give Silvana a moment of peace.

“He saw how I looked at some of the boys my age, and some of the girls too. He was the first person aside form Claudia who wasn’t mean about it. He was really charming and kind, a little controlling, but it wasn’t like what I’d seen on TV. I didn’t realise it was so bad. He’d bring me flowers and wear this dapper suit to Sunday mass. He supported my arts, even would buy me these lovely paints. But it was always his way, you know? Every time he wanted something, we did it. I was too scared to ask for help, so it went unchecked. It just kept escalating. At first it was little things, like letting him pay or going where he wanted to on dates. Then it was what he wanted to eat, or the dress he wanted me to wear. Then it was he wanted me to… service him. Eventually, he wanted full blown sex. I kept saying I wasn’t ready, and he didn’t force me, but he kept trying to convince me. Kept pushing, until it was easier just to agree than come up with reasons not to. He wasn’t mean or rough, just pushy. I told my parents, but they wouldn’t listen to me. The devil had touched me, and I had to pray it away. His dad was so respected in the Church, he was too, and it wasn’t like he forced me, right? He just made some comments and I just caved. Whatever he wanted. He kept me on my knees like a good little girl, like a nun for God he used to say… until my mother caught us. Then I was tempting him, I was threatening to expose him if he didn’t do it. He was already going to marry me, so he agreed to fooling around out of wedlock to save me from the Devil.”

“He sounds positively charming.” Vivienne commented dryly. Her face contorted into a vicious frown, eyes almost firing lasers in her outrage on Silvana’s behalf.

“Yeah, well, not two weeks after we left for college, he was sleeping with other girls. He thanked me for being such a good girl for him, for getting him out of his home and taking the heat for him. Turns out, he had a flock of eager girls. They all kept quiet because they saw how the Church cast me out. I was just a scapegoat and a means to an end. I was easy.” The Cuban artist shrugged her shoulders, as if she could deflect her pain like water off a duck’s feathers. She couldn’t conceal how her lips shivered, parting around painful breaths she tried to keep silent. The flowing floral dress didn’t conceal how her sides heaved, nor how her shoulders caved. Accepting. Defeated. It was not a look Vivienne ever wanted to see again.

“Silvana. What he did was unacceptable.” There was nothing else Vivienne could say. She longed to. In every language she knew, she longed to cuss and spit until her voice left her and her throat was raw. Until she tasted blood for everything Silvana had endured. Perhaps she could ask Zoe to find this man, then pay him a visit. Be the worldly seductress of his dreams, only to cast him into deathly nightmares with her poisoned kiss. Members of the Poppy had built immunity to her poisons, to her charms and games, but the one who had hurt Silvana? Vivienne knew his type. He would be easy. Effortless.

“I didn’t know how to say no back then. I had so much catching up to do once I got away from the strict religious family. My first girlfriend dumped me after a few months. The Art Chic was adorable and sexy, but she wasn’t looking for a project. She didn’t want to deal with the religious guilt. She wasn’t in it for the long haul. That’s ok, I mean, I needed to learn more about myself too. But, I kept finding those types of partners. Pushy, looking for something casual and easy, not treating me respectfully. Maybe that’s why the Poppy didn’t bother me too much, it wasn’t personal or vindictive.”

“I’m sorry.” The words were careful and considered, gifted to the artist with the utmost sincerity. Vivienne’s manipulation had perhaps been the most personal of all, even if it was for different reasons. For weeks, months even, she had helped stalk the artist. Gathering information. Assessing her talents, her position, her life. Nausea struck Vivienne’s gut like a tsunami, rising like the tide up her throat. Every breath she claimed was like breathing through a hurricane in her lungs. She had probably seen those people. Ones who had hurt Silvana. Those who had convinced the artistic wonder that she was not good enough to succeed. Vivienne had been so close to them, close enough to have dealt with them. To have spared Silvana some of this pain, possibly, and she’d done nothing.

“Viv. You didn’t manipulate me like they did.” Silvana offered comfort, though Vivienne found it lacking. Weak. Dishonest. Vivienne Tang most certainly had manipulated. Everything was so beautifully orchestrated, the melodic notes in a lifelong melody, falling into place like aligned dominos. From their first meeting, Vivienne’s purred compliments, the touch of pearls. Vivienne had played the role to a fantasy, the worldly, older woman leading a young artist into a world of glamour, of crime and mystery. She’d played the role as if she were to be upon the silver screen. The mentor. The romantic interest. She’d let Silvana think her much older, let Silvana drown in the mysteries she wove. Any romance upon the screen needed to end with a kiss and a tragedy, and Vivienne had delivered to perfection. Poisoned lipstick, the whisper of an apology in her throat. How was this not like the others who’d used Silvana in the past?

“I played with your emotions, poisoned you, then abandoned you in a strange city.” Vivienne pointed out, guilt turning her tongue to led. She wished she could claim her guilt was because she was, somewhere, deep down, a good person. That she regretted using the Artist like she had because it was not the kind thing to do. However much she wished she could deflect that crime to her duties to the Poppy, she could not. Not fully. That had been her choice and hers alone. Her panic when someone had grazed the walls around her mind and heart. Someone had gotten under her scales. That was precisely it. Silvana had worked her way into the hearts of the tight knit Poppy, had earned her place amongst their little family. Vivienne only felt guilty because it was Silvana specifically. A girl she was attached to. Loyal to. Someone in her heart, nestled alongside Nikolai, Remy, Jett, Leon and Zoe. Had Silvana not infiltrated her heart, Vivienne would never even batter an eyelid. She was, after all, a selfish creature. A viper who took what she wanted and left the corpse to the vultures to pick over. Left her marks for lesser thieves to squabble over like starved wolves.

“Yeah, that hurt, I can’t lie. But Viv, we worked through everything. I chased you, The Poppy, half way around the continent to do it. And I won’t lie and say we had it easy, but we got there. We faced it. We’re ok. We’re a team, family. I don’t hold any of that against you. Just, your comment, this piece. The heist. It brings back memories.”

“You are so much bigger than all of them. Silvana Mendo, you have painted your name across the world. Your forgeries hang in some of the finest galleries, fooling the greatest critics and adoring eyes by the thousands, still undiscovered years later. All those people who doubted you are meaningless fools. Please, zaika, do not let them drag you from the stars.” Vivienne’s voice was gentle, her pleading sincere. She lowered her knees, shifting until she was kneeling close to the artist, a devotee at the feet of a deity. The way Silvana’s lips curled into a sad smile was lancing; left Vivienne’s emotions bleeding from her in the form of answering tears. Eyeliner ran like charcoal down ashen cheeks, mirroring what she was staring at. She longed to fix this, wished she had the answers to make everything better. All she had were pretty words. Pretty words and small gestures.

“I know, but it isn’t always easy to feel like I know it. You’ve helped me become a more confident version of myself. Taught me how to fend those people off. Just, some days it feels as if my insecurity will break me.”

Vivienne scarcely registered removing one of her long silken gloves, only that her fingers felt bare against her poisoned lips. Her deadly kiss, meant with the most pure of intentions. It was stupid. As if such a minor gesture could give anything back to Silvana. As if it could mend wounds. The best it could so was send her loopy once the poison soaked into her pores. Vivienne caught her hand half extended, reaching towards the light, trying to drag it back into the Artist’s soul. She froze. Was she truly worthy? She had acted just the same as people who’d hurt the Cuban, what gave HER the right to try to fix it. One look at Silvana gave her the answer. It was so simple, as sure as the sun rose and set. As sure as the ground was beneath their knees. Silvana gave her the right, even without uttering a single word. Deep brown eyes implored Vivienne to close the distance, to try to tend to these gaping wounds. Both women watched Vivienne’s hand tremble as she closed the distance. A gentle brush of fingertips, delivering intent without risking a lipstick stain. Then, Vivienne was lost, running long fingers through frizzy hair in an effort to pull it away from a damp face. To reveal the beauty it was currently concealing.

“Then I’ll do my best to piece you back together. As many times as I must.” Vivienne vowed, her voice barely more than a whisper. Her gloved hand lifted, gently curling around Silvana’s cheek. With her removed glove Vivienne dabbed at Silvana’s cheeks, wiped her runny nose, fretted over every smudge of paint. She remained there, dabbing delicately at the mess until Silvana’s tears ran dry. Until fussing earned soft laughter and playful comments. It was a far cry from Silvana’s most joyful, but it was a step. Vivienne already knew this would happen again. These dark memories would eat at the Artist, but Vivienne was determined to hold on. To keep the pieces together, even if it meant her own hands were sliced open. Even if it hurt. For all the treasures she had seen, all the riches she had stolen, nothing could compare to Silvana. The angel on her shoulder. The woman who embodied safety. The being who was her safe haven.

If Vivienne Tang had to bleed for something, she chose Silvana.

Every. Single. Time.

#vivienne #vivienne tang #woeful wednesday #angst #potential spoilers #psychological abuse #tw: homophobia #tw: conversion camp #tw: cheating #qot #lovestruck qot #queen of thieves #queen of thieves fic #vivienne x mc #submission

[lillupon]

thoughts on kmg situation

Hi everyone, your friendly neighbourhood minwon writer here! I apologise to those of you who were hoping for an update this weekend. In light of recent events, I found it very difficult to get excited about Achieving Escape Velocity. Before I can resume posting, I feel it is necessary for me to work through my own thoughts. 

I am not trying to persuade people into believing a particular side. I share this with the hope that it will help others who are struggling to reconcile feelings similar to my own. I also see this as an opportunity to—with your guidance—become more passionate, and to learn how to be a decent human being, if that’s what I need to do. I recognise that I come barreling in here with my own cultural and environmental biases. Thus, anyone who understands the nuances of this situation better should feel free to educate me on the matter. If this is of no interest to you, kindly scroll on; I hope to see you when I next update. Otherwise, please join me for a few minutes. 

TL;DR

I support both Mingyu and the victim/OP

I believe that people change as they grow older and become more educated and informed

I am conflicted and have my misgivings about the additional allegations (group chat screenshots + bullying a student with special needs—which has now been resolved, yay!)

I will not unstan Mingyu

I will continue to write and update Achieving Escape Velocity

I want to start by saying that I am an older fan in my twenties, and that I have been a fan of Seventeen since 2015. I have found great joy and comfort in them for many years. As much as I have tried to remain impartial, I have likely fallen short of that ideal. The truth is, I adore this boy! I admire his talents as an artist. I am charmed by the persona of him that we get to see in the media; I see parts of myself reflected in this curated persona. That being said, I tried to remain critical of the stance I am taking. I asked myself, “If this situation was not about Mingyu, and was about my local weatherman instead, would I still feel the same way?” And the answer to that was: hell fucking yeah! Don’t worry, Local Weatherman, I got your back… 

Lastly, I want to say that I am approaching this from a Western point of view. I grew up in Canada, albeit with the traditions and beliefs inherited from fairly strict and conservative Asian parents. As an international fan, there will inevitably be some cultural disconnects in this thought piece. 

There are three main parts to my admittedly rough and disjointed thoughts. The first part addresses the original accusations. The second part addresses additional accusations that were made against Mingyu. The final part is about the future of my minwon stories.

You may agree with all of this, part of this, or none of this. These are simply the thoughts I am trying to work through. 

Thoughts on original allegations (therapy records OP)

How do I describe opening up Twitter on Thursday morning? One moment, I was reading about Mingyu drawing pubes on the classroom whiteboard. The next moment, I was reading about how serious allegations against Mingyu were. People were unstanning him and Seventeen, calling Mingyu a rapist, sending him death threats, etc. I truly did not understand how the situation escalated so quickly, and I nearly gave myself whiplash trying to follow jumps in logic. 

One side of Twitter was convinced that the Original Poster (OP) was lying and doing all of this for attention; they said victims could not be believed 100%. The other side of Twitter declared that Mingyu should be cancelled, and bashed anyone who supported Mingyu or remained neutral. People were sending Mingyu death threats despite the history of k-pop artists committing suicide. All of this reminded me why I avoided Twitter for so many years: Purity and cancel culture run rampant; the mobs want blood penance for every wrongdoing without first considering the nuances of the situation. People blindly defend their ults and set aside their morals to do so.

Here is what I got out of my initial reading of the translated (version 1, version 2) accusations:

OP was shy, timid, and isolated from her classmates. When she tried to speak up in class, Mingyu would tell her to shut up. This happened enough times that, eventually, OP stopped talking in class at all.

Mingyu and his friends told sexual jokes while OP was in the vicinity. These comments made OP uncomfortable and triggered her. However, they were not directed at OP.

The sexual jokes and comments did not escalate to sexual assault or violence. OP explicitly states there was no violence or physical contact.

Mingyu and his friends drew and laughed at inappropriate pictures of body parts/hair on the board. OP is not actually sure if it was Mingyu who drew the pictures, only that he was up there laughing with the others.

OP struggles with anxiety and depression; Mingyu was not the sole reason why she attended therapy. OP mentioned that she brought Mingyu up only briefly with her therapist.

Could I believe all of this being true? Yes, because I personally adhere to two Me Too philosophies: 

The first is that women almost never lie about sexual harassment, abuse, or assault. I absolutely believe that Mingyu is capable of making sexual jokes and comments. Teenage boys and girls alike are notoriously emotional and hormonal between the ages of 12 and 14. I can also imagine Mingyu drawing penises on whiteboards, complete with elaborate pubic hair. These are the antics of a typical middle school boy. For some reason, teenage boys—at least in North America—are very fascinated by their own genitalia and like to announce they have one by drawing pictures of dicks on any available surface. 

The second philosophy I abide by is that men and boys in power are likely to abuse it. All men—even k-pop idols—benefit from patriarchy. They are in a position to abuse, degrade, and humiliate women (obviously, I hope none of these things happen, but I also have to acknowledge the possibility that they do). This is especially true in patriarchal Asian societies. Someone as popular and attractive as Mingyu holds great influence and power in his peer groups. Can I see a young Mingyu being a dick to a girl who is quiet and timid and isolated from her peers? Yes.

But also… Who wasn’t a dick in middle school? I feel like my classmates and I were colossal idiots back then. Was it just my school where classmates told each other to shut up all the time? Was it just my school where kids put their thumb and forefinger in an “L” shape to their foreheads and called each other losers? Everyone has a different threshold for what they consider bullying, but for me, these gestures and comments were so commonplace that I merely accepted them as part of the elementary and middle school experience. These things are mean and insensitive, yes, but it’s possible to grow out of these antics.

It is difficult for me to form an opinion about these sexual jokes Mingyu made for two reasons: (1) cultural differences, and thus my own internal biases, and (2) we don’t know about the nature of these jokes. It’s hard to determine whether these comments constitute as sexual harassment without this context. Even then, people have different thresholds of what they are comfortable with, and what they are not comfortable with.

We don’t know whether these comments were along the lines of “That’s what she said” or “You know what else is big?” or “I grow hair down there...on my toes!” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Or if they were jokes about sexual experience/performance, speculation about what someone looks like naked, the colour of their underwear, or raping a person (I’ve often seen these “jokes” directed at female streamers and influencers). In my opinion, there’s a big difference between the two. 

The former, while crude and immature, is not generally said with ill-intent, nor is it generally directed at a specific person. These are jokes that teens, both male and female, commonly make in North America. (Perhaps this is part of the problem: the fact that I consider this to be standard teenage behaviour...) I would hesitate to call it harassment unless the victim made it known that she was uncomfortable, and the boys continued anyway. I also understand that the victim may not have felt able to speak out against Mingyu and his friends. In this case, the boys might not have been aware of her discomfort. Teenage boys are not particularly well-known for being sensitive. 

The latter, however, objectifies and diminishes a person, and is disgusting and reprehensible. The latter is, without contest, sexual harassment. Absolutely no one should have to tolerate comments of this nature. Anyone who makes such jokes should be educated on why these so-called jokes are damaging, and how they perpetuate rape culture, as well as the sexualisation and dehumanisation of women, as well as men. Anyone who makes comments of this nature should be called out (and here I emphasise called out as opposed to cancelled) for their behaviour. It is imperative that they are educated, given the opportunity to reflect, apologise, and make amends. This is with the hope they know better in the future and do not make the same mistake again. 

Now, based on what OP said, the jokes Mingyu made seem more like the first case: he made a pun about body hair. I am pretty sure if Mingyu made “jokes” of the second nature, OP would have chosen to highlight that instead of a pun. However, this is something that needs to be clarified. The content of these jokes drastically changes the severity of the allegations.

Currently, I interpret this through the lens of my uncouth Western sensibilities: what OP described sounds like typical Western teen behaviour. There are many actions, events, and experiences that take place during our formative and adolescent years that come to define who we are as adults. Personally, I don’t think that drawing hairy penises on the whiteboard—inappropriate as it is—or being an asshole in middle school are these things.

But who am I to say, “Yeah, what OP went through was not that bad”? I can’t be the judge of that, and that’s absolutely not what I’m trying to do here. I don’t know the whole story, and even then, it doesn’t matter. I am an outsider in all of this. I’m not trying to diminish the years of suffering and torment the victim went through, and I apologise if that’s how I came off. Nothing I said previously changes the fact that these jokes negatively affected the victim. Nothing I said changes the fact that this girl’s voice was silenced because of some thoughtless middle school boy’s comments. These are wounds that people carry from childhood through to adulthood.

Impact matters just as much as intent. I might argue that in cases such as these, impact matters even more than intent. Mingyu might have done all these things without ill-intent, but OP’s trauma is very much real. (As a side note: This is one of the reasons why I am very happy with Pledis’ official statement. Their focus on healing and reparation—without absolving Mingyu or throwing him under the bus (yet)—is the right move.)

I’ve just been seeing so many death threats and demands for Mingyu to leave the group that I cannot help but wish people would extend him the empathy that they themselves would appreciate.

People are condemning a 12-14 year old Mingyu for making sexual puns and being an asshole. People are measuring a middle school aged-Mingyu against the ethical and moral standards they hold as adults, and they are finding that this young Mingyu fell short. This should not be surprising. I know if I judged younger-me by the standards I have today, I would be left wanting. 

I remember the kind of person I was as a teenager. I was hormonal. I made “That’s what she said” jokes, among others. While I never intentionally set out to hurt anyone, I know I have said crude and unkind things. As a teenager, I didn’t possess the tact I do now; I didn’t know how to self-regulate. I could be a mean and horny kid (not necessarily at the same time, haha!), but I also had parts of me that were deeply sensitive and caring and thoughtful of others. Teenagers and adults are multi-faceted. I would not want anyone to dig up these past receipts and use it as the basis to judge the person I am now. I would not want people to pick out the worst of my past actions and words, and use it to invalidate my success today. 

It varies case by case, but for the most part, I don’t think people should be punished for what they did or said as children; I would have been cancelled long ago if this were the case, as would many others. People change as they grow older and become more educated and informed. It is different if these behaviours and actions persist into adulthood. Then, yes: there should absolutely be consequences. I am not saying we can just sweep all our childhood wrongdoings under the rug. It is still important for us to acknowledge and reflect upon the wrongs of past words and actions, and to offer apologies and reparations where they are due.  

Should these allegations prove true, can I support both OP and Mingyu, or is that cheating? I do believe OP and my heart goes out to her. I understand why she chose to speak out. I know it must have been difficult to do so against someone who is a man, famous, well-loved, wealthy, and successful. I know it must hurt to see the whole world adore a man who has caused you pain. South Korea has a culture of enduring silently; this results in great mental strain and suffering. In speaking out, she relived past and present power imbalances. This is not easy for a victim to do, especially when you are a woman in a patriarchal society and your bully is a male celebrity.

I hope I am not invalidating her feelings when I reiterate that Mingyu was a young teenager, and teenagers can be mean and crude—intentionally or not. Mingyu is a public figure, so naturally, he is held to higher moral standards. But he is also human. He can and will make mistakes. He can and will continue to grow. I feel a lot of empathy for Mingyu, both now as he is forced to confront his past immaturities, and as he moves forward in his career. 

Thoughts on additional allegations (KakaoTalk group chat + ableism)

I will not be addressing allegations of Mingyu bullying a classmate with autism now that the issue has been resolved. (Again, I commend Pledis for their response, and for recognising that the ableism needed to be addressed first. Of the three l accusations, this was the one that Mingyu would not be able to recover from. Even now, he will not emerge from this unscathed). I will only be sharing my initial misgivings about these additional allegations.

First off, this is a very nuanced and precarious topic. I don’t want to diminish a potential victim’s experience, yet I hope people understand why I am so skeptical about accepting screenshots of chat rooms as hard proof. Here are a few reasons why:

(1) Bullying scandals have been erupting left and right, especially as of late. Some of these accusations have been proved true. Others have been proved false. Regardless, there seems to be a trend of digging up past receipts—fabricated or not—of celebrities with the aim of cancelling them or undermining their success. 

(2) Screenshots and chat rooms are easily manipulated and fabricated. This is different from a victim with a face speaking out against past incidents of bullying. They could be someone with malicious intent, or they could be a genuine victim. We just don’t know. And in the case of the chat rooms, it wasn’t even the victims who were speaking out.

(3) I wondered if these were antis who jumped on the coattails of the initial OP to stir the pot. These allegations (particularly the case of ableism, which has thankfully been cleared up now) are far more serious than original claims—why wait until now to bring them up?

(4) I find it difficult to trust even yearbook proof because people can and will sell yearbooks if they went to school with idols. In addition, yearbooks cannot prove interaction, and therefore, cannot prove bullying. At the same time, how do you prove bullying incidents from ten years ago? How do you disprove it? Cases of bullying aren’t often well-documented. It essentially becomes a game of my-word-against-yours. 

(5) There is a pretty well-known article from 2016 where Mingyu defended a classmate with a disability. It doesn’t necessarily disprove the current claim, but the timing is important here. The classmate shared their account back in 2016; it did not just surface after recent allegations. However, if I want to believe that the KKT screenshots are false, then I must also be willing to believe that this 2016 article may have been fabricated as well.

(6) As someone in their 20s, the thought of being in a group chat with a bunch of my middle school classmates is baffling to me. Personally, I don’t want anything to do with my middle school classmates.

There is not much more to say on this; I will patiently wait for Pledis’ statement on the remaining allegations.

Achieving Escape Velocity and other MinWon stories

In a previous blog post, I stated that when I write and talk about AEV-Mingyu and Wonwoo—or other variations of Mingyu and Wonwoo—they are strictly characters that I have made up in my head, and they are separate from the real Mingyu and Wonwoo. At the same time, I do absolutely draw inspiration from the real Mingyu and Wonwoo in the creation of these story characters. It is their faces, bodies, and voices that I imagine. Thus, my current anxieties surrounding this situation make it difficult for me to write and enjoy AEV.

However, I still love this story a lot, and I love sharing it with everyone! There’s so much more to this fic that I want to show. As I mentioned in the initial author’s note, this is the first time I’m posting something of this length and I worked really hard on it. For these reasons, I have every intention of continuing to write and update Achieving Escape Velocity. Regular weekly updates will resume this coming weekend.

#mingyu #seventeen #how the fuck do i have so much to say about this topic? #this is 3k words #and i cut out 1k LOL #210225

[onebadwinter]

Magneto Tropes

Taken from here

Adaptation Dye-Job: In the comics, he has been shown to have had white hair for the vast majority of his adult life, presumably as a side-effect of his mutation. In the films, he's introduced with grey hair (though only because, lacking Comic-Book Time, the screenwriters had to make him the realistic age of a Holocaust survivor) and he has dark brown hair as a younger man in the prequels.

Adaptation Name Change: In the comics, his original name was Max Eisenhardt and Erik Lehnsherr was an alias. In the films Erik Lehnsherr is his real name and the alias he uses is Henryk Gurzsky. To be fair though, Max Eisenhardt was not revealed as his true comic book name until the 2008 miniseries X-Men: Magneto Testament, long after the first X-Men movie was released in 2000.

Adaptational Wimp: To varying degrees. Magneto's power set in the comics varies Depending on the Writer, but among his traditional powers are the ability to generate force fields and electromagnetic pulses, a resistance to telepaths and psychic attacks, and he's a genius in multiple scientific fields. In the film his powerset is scaled back to just control over metallic metals (though after Apocalypse's boost, he's capable of doing so on a global scale and maintaining a powerful forcefield), he needs his helmet to block out telepathy, and his scientific knowledge doesn't seem to be as extensive.

Affably Evil: With Xavier. They still play chess games together a good 40 years into their conflict with each other. Hell, if you are on his side, he is rather chatty and friendly to you.

Antagonist in Mourning: In X-Men: The Last Stand, he sincerely grieves over Xavier's death and cuts off his Dragon Pyro's irreverent talk about the deceased abruptly. As in most versions of X-Men, he and Xavier were very close friends who eventually found themselves on separate sides due to their ideological differences.

Anti-Hero:

Anti-Villain: Has an unquestionably sympathetic backstory and very good reason to believe that humans are out to eradicate the mutant race. However, he is a dangerous individual with few limits on his devotion and what must be done to ensure the survival of his kind. Even his best and oldest friend isn't safe from his extreme methods and beliefs.

The Atoner: Ian McKellen invokes this while discussing his character in the "Double Take: Xavier & Magneto" documentary on the X-Men: Days of Future Past Blu-Ray release."The Magneto that you see with me is a man of conscience, and a man with an unhappy life behind him. He's come through a great deal, and isn't taking on single-handedly, or even with the help of his Brotherhood, society as a whole. He's joined up again with his old friend, Professor X, and together, they're going to try to move things forward."

Badass Baritone: Both Ian McKellen and Michael Fassbender pull this off.

Badass Cape: Part of his supervillain outfit is his iconic crimson cape.

Played straight in Dark Phoenix, where he makes a point that the Phoenix is dangerous, but his methods involve injuring anyone who gets in his way as he tries to kill Jean.

Subverted in X-Men: First Class and X2: X-Men United, where he seems to join the heroes against a common foe, but is ultimately revealed to have ulterior motives and turns against them in the end.

Badass Longcoat: Magneto typically wears a long black coat in civilian attire, such as his appearance at the mutant hearings in the first film, the attempt to stop Mystique in X-Men: Days of Future Past, and his Roaring Rampage of Revenge in Dark Phoenix.

Berserk Button: Does not like people who 'just follow orders’. This is heavily implied to be because it was the excuse many Nazi officials gave for their actions during the Nuremburg trials.

Big Bad:

Big Bad Ensemble:

Big Brother Instinct: By the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis, he had already begun to view Charles as a brother figure. When the Blackbird spiraled out of control, Erik used his body to shield Xavier from injury, and he immediately halted his attack on the American and Soviet naval forces when Charles was shot. Even after they become enemies, Erik continously shows both respect and affection for Charles, consitantly referring to him as ‘Old Friend’. He was immensely saddened by his death in X-Men: The Last Stand, and deeply insulted by those who where disrespectful to him. He would also routinely put his own life on the line to help or save Charles, and the two kept very close in their later years, despite often being on opposing sides of the battle field.

Big Good: Old Magneto shares the role with Charles Xavier in X-Men: Days of Future Past, acting as the wise, protective mentor of the future team. This is in sharp contrast with his younger self, whose bigotry almost catapults the world into an even worse timeline than the one they are currently living in.

Byronic Hero: In X-Men: First Class—morally troubled, emotionally damaged, attractive, and very charismatic about his pro-mutant beliefs. Particularly to some of the impressionable younger characters like Mystique.

The Chessmaster: Invoked several times. He is seen playing Chess with Charles Xavier several times throughout the original trilogy, and references Chess during his attack on Alcatraz, to his benefit as Juggernaut was about to pull a Leeroy Jenkins and would have been depowered in the first wave had Erik not stopped him. Erik (stopping Juggernaut): In Chess, the pawns go first. (the defenders reveal their plastic dart guns filled with the cure serum, leading to the first wave of attackers getting depowered) Erik: Hmm, plastic. They've learned. That's why the pawns go first.

Color Motifs: He dresses up in various shades of red and purple.

Combat Tentacles: He can turn metal cables and pipes into such things, the most notable in X-Men: First Class when he uses a cable to snag the telepathy-blocking helmet and pull it off Shaw’s head, enabling Xavier to take control.

Composite Character: Has Juggernaut's helmet in this adaptation. This makes sense, as this Magneto's twisted, Cain and Abel relationship with Charles (Juggernaut's brother in the comics) is played to the hilt.

Cool Helmet: Wears his famous telepathy-blocking helmet. Technology wired into the helmet prevents telepathic intrusion, making Magneto difficult to control or impossible to find via Cerebro.

The Corrupter: Although he convinces Raven to accept her mutant appearance, he also pushes her into committing murder against human enemies and truly becoming Mystique. Charles believes Erik is a large influence for Raven leaving him.

Cultured Badass: He speaks several languages, passionately discusses philosophy, shows considerable knowledge of politics and foreign cultures, and enjoys the occasional game of chess with Xavier.

Curb-Stomp Battle: Dishes these out to Wolverine on a regular basis. Wolverine's metal skeleton makes him nigh-unstoppable against other opponents but is a huge liability going up against Magneto, who either immobilizes him or flings him away (or both) with ease every time they encounter each other as foes. Even when he faces a time-displaced Logan lacking the adamantium in his bones, Erik still dispatches him and nearly drowns him by impaling Wolverine with metal pipes and flinging him into a river.

Dark and Troubled Past: "Holocaust survivor" is about as dark and troubled as it gets.

Dark Messiah: In X-Men: Days of Future Past, his younger self prepares to kill Nixon while declaring mutant supremacy in front of a live broadcast.

Deadpan Snarker: The biggest one in the series, natch. X2: X-Men United is largely his snark-fest at everyone else's expense.

Death Glare: Young Magneto, portrayed by Fassbender, gives a calm murderous look killing the Nazis and Shaw, and also ripping a filling tooth from a banker in X-Men: First Class. Also, a good stare carrying the RFK Stadium towards the White House in X-Men: Days of Future Past.

Demoted to Dragon: He isn't the leader of the supervillain team in X-Men: Apocalypse; this time around, he plays second fiddle to Apocalypse.  He becomes The Starscream and pulls a Heel–Face Turn, though.

Determinator: In the '70s, he asks Logan how fighting him for years has worked out for him and Logan responds they're both "survivors" which only serves to motivate Erik to later demonstrate how much more powerful he is than the Wolverine later on when he runs metal pipes through his body and leaves him to drown, muttering contemptuously, "so much for survival."

Disappeared Dad: To Quicksilver. Despite them sharing a few scenes and Quicksilver entering the plot of X-Men: Apocalypse just to find him, Magneto shows no signs of recognizing him.

Dissonant Serenity: He's disturbingly calm, even cheerful, during the scene in the bar in Argentina, just before he murders three ex-Nazi's.

Doesn't Like Guns: His younger self uses guns when he needs to, while the older Magneto sneers at them. This is partly because of his background as a holocaust survivor, and partly because humans rely on guns to fight, and he sees it as a sign of their inferiority. Of course, that's a bit hypocritical when he has the power of magnetism, and those who don't possess such an advantage have to defend themselves somehow.

Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto Us: His motive in almost every movie is to wipe out humanity before they can do the same to mutantkind.

Emotional Powers:

Enemy Mine:

Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Despite all that he's done, his love for his mother is one of his defining characteristics. Unfortunately, it's also the reason why he killed Shaw in cold blood, truly becoming Magneto.

Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He does care deeply for certain characters - in the prequel films most obvously for Charles and Mystique. The memory of the good times he and Charles shared in their youth is enough to make him turn on Apocalypse, while Hank informing him of Mystique's death at Jean's hands sends him on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge.

Even Evil Has Standards: Magneto always considered Xavier a friend and never wanted him dead. In X3 when Pyro says he would have done so if Magneto ordered it, Magneto is clearly angered at the idea. Whatever their qualms, neither wanted the other dead.

Evil Former Friend: Naturally while remaining on Friendly Enemy terms with Charles Xavier, the X-Men and Brotherhood are at great conflict in the majority of films regardless.

Evil Genius: With truly amazing schemes. In X-Men: Days of Future Past, he was able to steal a file containing the details of the Sentinels, after reading it over he was somehow able to reprogram them while inserting metal tracks within the bodies.

Extra-ore-dinary: His impressive mutant ability to control metal. Guns are a joke to him and throughout the films he's accomplished feats capable of lifting a submarine from water, the Golden Gate Bridge, and the RFK Stadium, the last without showing any real sign of effort. In X-Men: Apocalypse thanks to Apocalypse's enhancement he's shown ripping practically every metallic structure on the planet apart via control of the world's magnetic field and with Jean, putting the Xavier Institute back together from scratch.

Fantastic Radiation Shielding: His helmet protects him from various mutants' psychic powers.

Faux Affably Evil: If you aren't on his side, he can be downright terrifying and still sound unfailingly polite. When Pyro expresses disappointment that he wasn't the one to kill Professor X, Magneto gives him a rather grandfatherly talking-to...with an unspoken, but very real assurance that the next ill words Pyro speaks of Charles Xavier would be his last.

First-Name Basis: In the films, just like in the comics, he and Charles Xavier always use their first names when speaking to or about each other. Only a handful of others are on a first-name basis with them.

Foil:

Freudian Excuse: A former victim of the Holocaust believing humanity will subjugate mutants the same way.

Friendly Enemy: To Charles Xavier. Their relationship stretches the definition of "friendly" about as far as it will go but it's there. They have the utmost respect for one another and used to be close companions but just about every differing point between them comes from a place of vitriolic and passionate division (to the point both refuse to see a future where the other's point of view can exist, it is a mutually exclusive matter of black-and-white difference in opinion).

The Fundamentalist: Without a doubt believes mutants are the superior species and humans will fight against their extinction.

Gaining the Will to Kill: When he meets Raven in X-Men: Days of Future Past, he appears noticeably distressed before picking up a gun and apologizing then claiming mutants will never be safe with her alive before shooting at her.

Heel–Face Revolving Door: His moral standing across the films has variously been Nominal Hero, Anti-Hero, Anti-Villain, The Atoner, and Well-Intentioned Extremist. Magneto is rarely a straight villain and even more rarely a straight hero, but in the meantime he wavers all the way between the two.

Helmets Are Hardly Heroic: In Dark Phoenix, he starts off as a neutral figure, and then dons his trademark helmet when he becomes an antagonist shortly afterward. He teams up with the X-Men at the beginning of the third act right after his helmet is destroyed in a fight.

Heterosexual Life-Partners:

He Who Fights Monsters:

Hijacked by Ganon: He has a tendency to hijack the plans of the villains of the films in retaliation against them.

Hoist by His Own Petard: Invokes this on so many occasions, such as threatening dozens of policemen with their own guns,  using Dark Cerebro to kill all humans after it was just used in an attempt to kill all mutants, as well as killing multiple soldiers by pulling off the pins on their grenades, hurling missiles at ships that just fired them, and  using the Sentinels during the DisasterousDemonstration in the past to attack the spectators.

Humans Are Bastards: Believing humans will continue to grow and despise mutants he maintains this belief. Though it doesn't really help his case when he keeps doing actions that make people fear him.

Hypocrite:

Magneto is responsible for the main conflict in X-Men, as he intends to sacrifice Rogue to power a machine capable of turning normal humans into mutants, but is unaware that the artificial mutations are unstable and will kill the affected.

In X-Men: The Last Stand, Magneto builds an army and prepares to attack Alcatraz island, where a cure for mutations is being developed. His efforts lead him to recruit the unstable Phoenix, who goes on a rampage during the film's climax and causes countless deaths.

Magneto shares the antagonistic role with Stryker in X2: X-Men United, but their goals are opposite of each other: the former intends to use the machine called Dark Cerebro to rid the world of normal humans, whereas the latter intends to do the same to the mutants.

Trask, Mystique and a younger version of Magneto are the main villains of X-Men: Days of Future Past. Trask invented the Sentinels, mutant-hunting machines that turned the world into an apocalyptic dystopia. Mystique goes on trying to get revenge on Trask by killing him after seeing the pictures of her deceased fellow mutants. Magneto opposes both Mystique and Trask by promoting his own ideals of supremacy, which only serve to amplify humanity's fear of mutants and push the Sentinel program forward.

In X-Men: First Class upon seeing the mansion Charles grew up in.Erik: Honestly Charles, I don't know how you survived living in such hardship.

In the original X-Men, when Magneto has the X-Men trapped and bound within the Statue of Liberty, he points out a foolish tactical error on Scott's part with withering contempt.Cyclops: Storm, fry him! Magneto: Oh yes, a bolt of lightning into a huge copper conductor. I thought you lived at a school.

He also really enjoys mocking Wolverine in general.Magneto: Why do you always think it's all about you?

In X-Men: First Class, he is originally only able to use his powers when extremely angry. The first two times, it involves maternal separation. However, he can't properly focus it until Charles coaches him to concentrate on happier emotions.

In X-Men: Apocalypse, his power hike into Physical God territory is initially assumed to be Apocalypse enhancing him like the other Horsemen, but Charles contradicts this, contemptuously asserting that all Apocalypse has done is tap into his rage and pain.

X2: X-Men United: He and Mystique team-up with the X-Men to stop a human villain from killing all mutants. Right up until he decides to invert the attack and have all the non-Mutants killed instead.

X-Men: Days of Future Past: He and Xavier unite against the Sentinels that threaten all of mutantkind with extinction. Although he ends up attempting his own plans for mutant superiority and, ironically enough, winds up jeopardizing the plan to save mutantkind.

Dark Phoenix: Magneto initially attempts to kill Jean for killing Mystique, but he and his lieutenants join forces with the X-Men to fight the D'Bari when they come for the Phoenix Force in the climax.

In X-Men: Days of Future Past, while the public and most other characters refer to him and Raven (Mystique) by their mutant code names, Charles and Hank still remain on a first name basis with both of them, and vice versa. This is also presumably true for Alex, who still addresses his former ally as Erik.

X-Men: First Class: He and Charles are juxtaposed in their respective Argentinian bar and Oxford pub scenes. The sober Lehnsherr is all business when he's hunting down Nazis, and he murders three men (including the bartender) in cold blood after taunting his prey. The inebriated Xavier is the life of a party when he and his fellow graduate students celebrate the successful defense of his PhD thesis, and he later tries to flirt with Agent MacTaggert. Producer Bryan Singer gives a very basic summary of their differences in the "Magneto the Survivor" featurette:"Ultimately, they come from different places. Erik Lehnsherr is a victim of the Holocaust, he probably left the war with nothing, and is very much a solitary man, while Xavier had a life of privilege, became a professor at Oxford, was surrounded by peers, has an intimate relationship with Mystique since childhood, so he's quite loved, and therefore quite idealistic, less embittered, and just has a very different view from Lehnsherr."

X-Men: Days of Future Past:

Both past and future Magneto contrast each other in the film. 1973 Magneto continues to move forward with mutant supremacy and attacking Charles and his group, while future Magneto was fighting to protect both mankind and mutants while lamenting his pointless struggles with Charles in their younger years. Past Erik is very much on his own, but his elderly counterpart is a valuable team member.

Past Magneto and Past Xavier were both inactive and isolated in between 1963 and 1973 (the former due to imprisonment, the latter due to depression). Erik shows signs of wanting to repair some of their previous friendship, but a bitter Charles isn't interested for the most part. Magneto tries to kill Mystique while Xavier tries to protect her. Hank remains unwaveringly devoted to Charles, but Erik loses Mystique's loyalty after the murder attempt. In X-Men: First Class, Erik personified "rage" while Charles embodied "serenity," but their roles are reversed in 1973. Xavier is now the one who is full of pain and anger, and therefore has great trouble wielding his telepathy, whereas Magneto is (relatively) calm and controlled, still possessing great mastery over his power despite being deprived of metal for a decade. (We even see Erik adopt a meditation pose in his prison cell, which makes him appear Zen-like.)

Wolverine and the younger Magneto are violent individuals who love Xavier, but whereas Jerk with a Heart of Gold Logan possesses Undying Loyalty towards Charles, Jerk with a Heart of Jerk Erik is quick to betray him, until he finally does the reverse and pulls a Heel–Face Turn in X-Men: Apocalypse.

X-Men: Apocalypse: After he loses his family, he's in so much grief that he's willing to follow Apocalypse, who convinces Erik that he's God, and God has granted Magneto a divine purpose.

The version of Magneto from the second timeline in particular embodies this trope, having changed sides eight separate times over the course of the series.note

Considering that his and Charles' friendship only lasted a couple months, at most, in X-Men: First Class, it was unusually intimate on an emotional level.

Played straight in X-Men: Days of Future Past, with his older self and Professor X (the moment where they're holding hands is the closest that we've seen them since First Class), but averted with their younger selves. In 1973, Charles never once calls him "friend" (although Erik uses the endearment twice), which goes to show how broken their relationship is.

X-Men: Director Bryan Singer explains in the September 2000 issue of SFX:"...the paradox in Magneto's character is that he was the victim and then becomes the aggressor. It's like he's slowly become these people who persecuted him and murdered his family right in front of him. He became embittered. You get angry enough and you start forgetting."

X-Men: First Class: He hates Shaw and wants to kill him, but he eventually embraces Shaw's beliefs about mutant supremacy. It's even spelled out through the villain wearing the same helmet that Magneto is associated with. Justified at the crucial moment because he separates revenge from his ideals, which is why he's able to compliment Shaw's vision while still hating the man to his core. Shaw the man wronged him terribly, but Shaw the visionary is inspirational.

X2: X-Men United: After stopping Stryker's plan to kill all mutants with a fake Cerebro, he decides to reprogram the machine to kill regular humans instead.

X-Men: Days of Future Past: Young Magneto hijacks the Sentinels to attempt killing both Bolivar Trask and President Nixon.

X-Men: First Class features a variation: once Erik kills Shaw, he basically embraces his evil nature and attempts to wipe out the American and Soviet fleets.

Despite claiming to help his fellow mutants, Magneto has no qualms on attacking and even killing other mutants who stand in the way of his anti-human crusade.

Magneto is motivated by his memories of enduring the Holocaust during World War II and believes mutants will be subjected to the same treatment as the Jews in Nazi Germany if they do not fight back. This leads to him falling victim to He Who Fights Monsters, becoming a genocidal racist just as bad as the Nazis.

In X-Men, he is willing to sacrifice Rogue but not himself in the advancement of his cause. Beautifully called out by Wolverine, who tells him: "You're so full of shit. If you were really so righteous, it would be you up in that thing." Erik levitates away without replying, but the expression on his face makes it clear the remark hit home.

At the climax of X-Men: Days of Future Past, his past-self sics a Sentinel on Wolverine and Beast, after a grand speech about how he will protect mutantkind.

In Dark Phoenix he tells Jean about the futility of killing for revenge, and how it never made the pain he felt go away. Then, when he finds out Jean killed Mystique, he almost immediately decides to kill her in revenge - though that could simply be the difference between knowing it intellectually and his emotional reaction.

   I-Y

Improvised Weapon: As long as it's metal, Magneto's powers let him use anything as a weapon. He has killed people with such things as a coin and a locket.

I Did What I Had to Do: In X-Men: Days of Future Past, he tells Raven he tried to kill her because he was aware of the impending Sentinel menace and came to the conclusion that the only way to prevent it would be if she was permanently dispatched.

I Hate Past Me: In X-Men: Days of Future Past right before Kitty sends Wolverine back in time, he worries that his and Charles' past-selves won't understand the nightmarish situation in the Bad Future and be able to fix things. Erik: It's not [Wolverine] I'm worried about, it's us. We were young, we didn't know any better.

Ineffectual Loner: Was one in X-Men: First Class until Charles convinced him he could do better with friends of his own, and in the ending he begins building his brotherhood of mutants.

I Was Quite a Looker: He was a classic example of Tall, Dark, and Handsome when he was a young man (and he has aged gracefully over the years).

Jerkass Has a Point: He did make the fair point towards Charles that he grew up with Raven, and shouldn't have entirely claimed responsibility for raising her, which did in part drive her away from him.

Just the Way You Are: In X-Men: First Class, he is able to persuade Raven to his side finding her mutant appearance to be "perfection" in contrast to Charles and Hank, who feel she should look more "normal" to gain acceptance within society.

Karma Houdini:

Kick the Son of a Bitch: Some of his victims include Nazis, Sebastian Shaw and the corrupt, violent slob in charge of his prison cell. He also chained William Stryker back up and left him to die at the end of X2: X-Men United.

Knight Templar: Wants to stop mutant prejudice... by subjugating humans.

Lean and Mean: Magneto seems to have little-to-no fat on his body. It makes sense, given that he's a Holocaust survivor who spent his early life on the road.

Loner-Turned-Friend: In X-Men: First Class when he met Charles Xavier and his group.

Made of Iron: His younger self is quite capable of taking a beating. In X-Men: First Class he gets thrown off a boat by Emma Frost in diamond form and was being thrown across a room by Shaw crashing into mirrors. In X-Men: Days of Future Past, he took head injuries from Beast and nearly drowned before restraining him only needing a head stitching after - a head stitching he performed himself while examining the schematics of the Sentinel's and without even twitching at the pain. His older self also survived a blast from Cyclops in the first film, and in X-Men: Days of Future Past continued to protect the group from the Sentinels with a shard having pierced his abdomen.

Manipulative Bastard: Best demonstrated as he convinces Pyro and in the prequel series, Raven, to defect to his side.

Meaningful Name: Erik means "ruler" and Lehnsherr can be roughly translated as "feudal lord" (lehn = fief, herr = master). Magneto's birth name betrays his ambition to rule over humans.

Mook Horror Show: Several films have him performing one.

Motive Rant: Delivers one to Senator Kelly after capturing him in X-Men.Magneto: Are you a god-fearing man, senator? That's such a strange phrase. I've always thought of God as a teacher, as a bringer of light, wisdom, and understanding; you see, I think what you really are afraid of is me. Me and my kind, the Brotherhood of Mutants. Though it's not so surprising really. Mankind has always feared what it doesn't understand. Well, don't fear God, Senator, and certainly don't fear me. (in an undertone) Not anymore.

My Greatest Failure: The death of Xavier in X-Men: The Last Stand, which he directly caused by awakening Dark Phoenix.Magneto: Charles Xavier did more for mutants than you'll ever know. My single greatest regret is that he had to die for our dream to live.

My God, What Have I Done?: X-Men: The Last Stand features him saying the line, when he finds himself on the other side of the Mutants vs. Humans war he's been pushing for, and Phoenix finally goes crazy and starts killing people.

Nazi Hunter: He spends the first twenty minutes or so of his screentime in X-Men: First Class tracking down and killing Nazis. In fact, his reason for joining the X-Men is so that he can find and kill Sebastian Shaw, the mutant Nazi who killed his mother.

The Needs of the Many: In X-Men: Days of Future Past.Erik: Forgive me Mystique, as long as you're out there we'll never be safe.

Never Be Hurt Again: He is both a Holocaust Survivor and mutant "lab rat" which pushes him towards Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto Us regarding mutant suppression by the humans.

New Era Speech: Gets one in Days of Future Past, delivered on national television before the Presidential cabinet.Magneto: You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is different. Well, I'm here to tell you, to tell the world, you're right to fear us. We are the future. We are the ones who will inherit this earth, and anyone who stands in our way will suffer the same fate as these men you see before you. Today was meant to be a display of your power. Instead I give you a glimpse of the devastation my race can unleash upon yours. Let this be a warning to the world. And to my mutant brothers and sisters out there, I say this; no more hiding, no more suffering. You have lived in the shadows in shame and fear for too long. Come out, join me. Fight together in the brotherhood of our kind. A new tomorrow, that starts today.

Nice Hat: Occasionally wears a fedora while in civilian garb, as shown in X-Men when he attends the hearing on mutants at the beginning of the film and in X-Men: Days of Future Past when he raids the vault for his helmet.

Nice Job Fixing It, Villain!: Attacking Mystique at the Paris Peace Conference bought Bolivar Trask a couple extra days and gets Nixon to fund the Sentinel program, but his betrayal and attack on the White House sets up a situation where a mutant is seen saving Nixon's life on live TV. Mystique performs a Heel–Face Turn, Nixon cancels the Sentinel program, and the Bad Future is averted.

Nightmare Fetishist: Everyone in X-Men: First Class, tells Raven that her true form as Mystique is horrifying, but Eric tells her that she is beautiful as she is, and that taking on a more normal looking appearance is wasteful of her powers, and limits her concentration against unexpected attacks. In X-Men: The Last Stand however, when Mystique shields Magneto from being struck by darts containing the Mutant Cure, he coldly abandons her now that she's human, regretfully telling Pyro that she used to be "so beautiful."

Noble Demon: At his fundamental core, Magneto wishes to protect innocent minorities from genocidal persecution at the hands of murderous racists, no matter what it takes.

Not So Different:

Outliving One's Offspring: His daughter is killed by Polish policemen in one of the most heartbreaking moments of the whole film franchise.

Overarching Villain: Magneto is the central antagonist of the first trilogy. In the prequels, he usurps the role of Big Bad from Shaw and Trask, before pulling a Heel–Face Turn at the very end of X-Men: Apocalypse. However, he comes to oppose the X-Men once again in the following film, only to ultimately join their battle against Vuk during the climax.

Parental Abandonment: His father is nowhere to be seen, and his mother is executed before him by Shaw to try and induce his magnetism powers.

Pet the Dog: He was the first person in Raven's life that complimented and truly admired her natural blue form. Also, upon reveal he compliments Hank, although it isn't met with a kind reaction from Beast, who believed he was being mocked.

Physical God: While always immensely powerful, he becomes this in X-Men: Apocalypse, being on the verge of tearing apart the planet (as one character puts it, "destroying everything built since the Bronze Age") while maintaining an impenetrable forcefield. Moreover, Charles implies that unlike the other Horsemen, Apocalypse didn't actually enhance him, he just tapped into his rage and pain, meaning that he had this potential all along.

Power Floats: Can fly by manipulating the Earth's magnetic field.

Pre-Mortem One-Liner: He delivers one to Sebastion Shaw as Charles holds control of Shaw's body."This is what we're going to do. [holds up the coin] I am going to count to three and I'm going to move the coin. One. [moves the coin towards Shaw's head] Two. Three." [puts the coin through Shaw's head, Charles screams].

Protagonist Journey to Villain: X-Men: First Class revolves around him seeking revenge for the murder of his mother and his increasing acceptance of mutant supremacy.

Red and Black and Evil All Over: His outfits typically have a lot of dark red and dark grey. The dark grey is accentuated in the older Magneto's costumes.

Red Oni, Blue Oni: In X-Men: First Class, he is rather hot-headed while Charles is more level-headed. ''Empire'' magazine even color-coded the front covers of their May 2011 issue accordingly.◊

Roaring Rampage of Revenge:

Rousing Speech: On several occasions he's persuaded mutants to follow his cause and fight along himself. Most notably, when he attacked the white house and on a live broadcast declared mutants come out of hiding because they are more powerful than the humans who would try to eliminate them. This is after he discredited the Sentinel program and held the president cabinet at gun point.

Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: In X-Men: First Class, he is the Manly Man to Charles' Sensitive Guy. They display this dynamic in their personalities (Anti-Hero vs. All-Loving Hero) and physique (Tall, Dark, and Handsome vs. Pretty Boy) as well as their philosophies and methods (Pay Evil unto Evil vs. Wide-Eyed Idealist).

Shut Up, Kirk!: Delivered one to Xavier in X-Men: First Class.Xavier: There are thousands of men on those ships. Good, honest, innocent men! They're just following orders. Erik: I've been at the mercy of men just following orders. Never again.

Slasher Smile: He sports a brief one when he rips iron from a guard's body in X2.

Slave Brand: The tattoo number of a Nazi concentration camp he carries upon his forearm, which he has brought attention towards to serve as a reminder for human cruelty.

At the end of X-Men United, he escapes after attempting to wipe out all non-mutants.

At the end of The Last Stand, he sneaks away when the Dark Phoenix awakens and realizes on his own that the effects of the mutant cure are only temporary.

In Apocalypse, he murders a bunch of policemen and creates a magnetic field that caused a lot of damage across the globe, but is let off the hook because he helped kill En Sabah Nur. However, this could be explained by the fact that he's so powerful at this point that there's way to reasonably contain him.

In Dark Phoenix he instigates a battle against the X-Men in the streets of New York, including his ripping a subway train out the ground and using it as a battering ram against the D'Bari stronghold, all in an attempt to kill Jean, but later fights alongside the X-Men to save her after Charles manages to sway him. By the end of the film he's openly wandering the streets of Paris without any repercussions, and even invites Xavier to come to Genosha with him.

The Nazis at the bar in First Class.

The security guards in Days of Future Past when he reclaims his helmet, done while sharply dressed wearing shades and a fedora.

And in Apocalypse, he does it again to the policemen sent to bring him in after one of them accidentally kills his wife and daughter. With a locket.

In X-Men: First Class, when he confronts the villain Sebastian Shaw at the end: Erik Lehnsherr: If you're in there, I'd like you to know that I agree with every word you said. We are the future. But unfortunately, you killed my mother.

In X2: X-Men United, the first thing he does when he gets inside the second Cerebro? Instructs Jason Stryker to simply reverse the polarity on Professor X's mental attack to target humans instead of mutants rather than free Charles from Jason's mind control.

In X-Men: First Class, he hunts down Shaw and his Nazi underlings to exact revenge for the death of his mother. He succeeds in giving the latter ones horrific deaths, but is effortlessly defeated by Emma Frost when he tries to do the same to the former.

In X-Men: Apocalypse, he uses his family medallion to slaughter the whole Polish police squad that has been sent to arrest him after they killed his daughter and wife by accident. He then goes on to kill his co-workers at the steel plant after one of them denounced him. Apocalypse arrives just as Erik was about to kill them, and sucks them all into the floor.

In Dark Phoenix, after learning that Jean killed Raven in a case of Power Incontinence, he immediately grabs his old helmet and heads to New York to get revenge.

Slowly Slipping Into Evil: In the original trilogy, Magneto starts out as a Well-Intentioned Extremist bent on turning regular humans into mutants. Come X2, he instead wishes to commit genocide against mankind, but still cares about mutant lives. But he is at his worst in The Last Stand, where he recklessly chooses to sacrifice his troops in Alcatraz, comparing them to the pawns in a Chess game.

The Social Darwinist: He believes mutants are the superior species towards humans.

Start of Darkness: X-Men: First Class devotes itself to his gradual transformation into the human-hating supremacist he is today, courtesy of his past as a Holocaust survivor and his affinity with Shaw's ideology.

Stealth Pun: Michael Fassbender kept his natural auburn hair for the role in X-Men: First Class and X-Men: Days of Future Past, which makes him... Erik the Red.note

Super Reflexes: In X-Men: First Class, he's fairly confident he can stop a bullet shot point blank from his head. Later, he more or less holds true to his claim by stopping a horde of missiles fired by the US and Russian army within several feet from the air to him, and deflecting bullets while being shot at by Moira MacTaggert.

Sympathetic Murderer: In First Class, his target being Shaw, who killed his mother and tortured him.

Tailor-Made Prison:

Tall, Dark, and Handsome: In his youth, as shown in the First Class trilogy.

Team Dad: In X-Men: First Class he was the more stern and less nurturing parental figure for the proto X-Men, opposite Charles' Team Mom. This is what makes the "Beach Divorce" scene so much more tragic.

Team Member in the Adaptation: He was never a Horsemen in the comics. This version also forms the Brotherhood by taking control of the Hellfire Club after killing Shaw.

That Man Is Dead:Xavier: Erik, don't join them. Magneto: Whatever it is you think you saw in me, I buried it with my family.

Time-Shifted Actor: He has been portrayed by four actors in three note different stages of his life.

Tired of Running: Inspires mutant followers to stop hiding and accept themselves, while turning on the humans who would target them.

Too Happy to Live: His life in Poland in Apocalypse looks too happy to last as he is spotted and unmasked by authorities and both his wife and daughter die tragically.

Took a Level in Badass: In First Class after Charles unlocks his full potential and in Apocalypse when the titular character gives him a boost.

Tragic Keepsake: When he first met Sebastian Shaw, he was asked to move a Nazi Coin in exchange for his mother's life but was unable to do so and she was murdered. He carried the coin for most of his life until he moved it through Shaw's head, killing him.

Tragic Villain: Possibly the archetypal example.Charles: Listen to me very carefully my friend... killing Shaw will not bring you peace.Erik: Peace was never an option.Erik: Is this what you want from me?! Is this what I am?

Tranquil Fury: In X-Men: First Class, his powers are manifested through anger, until Charles helps by telling him "true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity."

Traumatic Superpower Awakening: Shaw had Erik awaken control of his magnetism by murdering his mother.

Troubled, but Cute: In X-Men: First Class, pre-supervillainy, he is a Nazi-hunting Byronic Hero with an intensely Dark and Troubled Past (involving the Holocaust, loss of his parents, and being a victim of human experimentation) and bucketloads of trauma and cynicism. He also wears a leather jacket on a few occasions.

Villain Has a Point: Magneto believes humans and mutants can never co-exist and fears the crimes of the Holocaust will be repeated against mutants one day. The Bad Future in Days of Future Past shows he's absolutely right; humans have created the Sentinels to hunt down and exterminate mutants, who are being herded into camps to be killed or experimented on en masse. Far before then, however, in First Class the U.S. and Soviet fleets open fire on the assembled mutants at Cuba simply because they are mutants, making no distinction between the ones that just fought to save them and the ones that were trying to kill them. Even when mutants do things right by humans (Mystique saving President Nixon in Days of Future Past), humans still screw them over, as shown in Logan when the mutants are on the verge of extinction again.

Villainous Legacy: He ends up killing Shaw out of revenge, but he fully agrees with Shaw's goal; that is, Mutants needing supremacy over humans to thrive, and carries it over from him.

Visionary Villain: He wants to create a world safe for mutants by any means necessary.

The Unfettered: If it means the safety of mutants he'll kill anyone from the President or even Mystique.

Was It Really Worth It?: His future self ultimately regrets fighting Charles for so long, and wishes he had some of those years back.

We Can Rule Together: An open door he extends to any mutant willing to see things his way, all the way up to and including Professor Xavier himself. Some accept and the ones who don't usually swing to Xavier's point of view.

Well-Intentioned Extremist: He has always been the archetypal example in comics and the films faithfully live up to that. He puts forth a big effort to allow mutants to come out of hiding and gain acceptance of themselves but at the same time opposes humans who would threaten them, believing war is inevitable. His plan in X-Men, is actually rather benevolent and would finally end the division between Mutants and the rest of Mankind, while sacrificing only Rogue to make it work. It's a good plan (though not necessarily one that would work in the long run), it's just a shame his machine doesn't work!

We Used to Be Friends: The whole premise of X-Men: First Class is to show how he and Charles Xavier became friends and then ended up on opposite sides with different ideals.

What the Hell Are You?: In X-Men: First Class, we have the following conversation:Former Nazi Officer: [in German] Who—what are you?Erik: [in English] Let's just say I'm Frankenstein's Monster... and I'm looking for my creator.

What the Hell, Hero?: In X-Men: Days of Future Past, his past self goes into an outburst about how fellow mutants were being killed left and right while Young Charles has been in hiding with Hank. Erik: Angel, Azazel, Emma, Banshee. Mutant brothers and sisters, all dead! Countless others, experimented on! Butchered! Where were you, Charles?! We were supposed to protect them! Where were you when your own people needed you?! Hiding! You and Hank! Pretending to be something you're not! You abandoned us all!

Wicked Cultured: Mags always enjoy a good game of chess with Xavier or listening to classical music.

With Us or Against Us: Concerning the mutants who choose to fight with him or against him, namely the X-men.

Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Each film of the new timeline keeps piling on the trauma that fuels his rage. In First Class he was a Holocaust survivor who had to watch his mother die in front of his eyes, and worse, it was because he couldn't consciously use his powers at the time. In Days of Future Past the Brotherhood were killed and experimented on by Trask Industries. In Apocalypse, after giving living in peace a chance, his wife and daughter are killed after his cover is blown as a mutant. All of this leads to him becoming an extremist willing to kill countless numbers of people. Highlighted in X-Men: First Class and arguably even more so in X-Men: Apocalypse, since he's quite literally out to destroy the world.

Worthy Opponent: He and Xavier have this relationship. Magneto: Charles Xavier did more for mutants than you will ever know. My single greatest regret is that he had to die for our dream to live.

Would Hit a Girl:

Would Hurt a Child: In X-Men: The Last Stand, he orders Juggernaut to kill Leech.

You Are Number 6: In X-Men: First Class, he outs himself as a holocaust survivor to some Nazis he was amicably chatting with (and planning to kill). When they asked for the names of his parents, being from the same town, he answered that they "had no names—they were stolen from them" before showing his own concentration camp number. Violence ensues.

You Are What You Hate: He hates Nazis due to being a survivor of the Holocaust, but ultimately embraces racism against non-mutants, this is highlighted in X-Men: First Class.

You Killed My Father: In X-Men: First Class, when he kills Schmidt/Shaw despite agreeing with his Mutant Supremacist ideals because Schmidt killed his mother in front of him as a child.Magneto: I want you to know I agree with everything you just said. We are the future. But, unfortunately... you killed my mother.

Younger Than They Look: In X-Men: First Class, Erik is around the same age as Charles (late twenties/early thirties), but the former appears considerably older because Michael Fassbender looks older than his actual age (he has a lot of lines on his face) while the baby-faced James McAvoy looks younger despite there being a only two-year age gap between the two actors. This can be Handwaved as Erik ageing prematurely because of the trauma and starvation he experienced during World War II.

Also, an alias Magneto himself used once, during the "Trial of Gambit" debacle. And one a Shiar spy on Earth used. Not so much a Stealth Pun as a Mythology Gag.

As an older man, however, his reflexes have notably slowed, as shown X-Men: Days of Future Past, when it takes him several moments to respond to and restrain a thrashing Logan - long enough for him to gash Kitty - and he doesn't quite catch all of the X-Jet's shrapnel.

At the end of X-Men, Magneto is locked in a cell made entirely of plastic. He got out in X2: X-Men United, thanks to Mystique giving one of his guards an "iron supplement," actually at least half a pound of the stuff, in liquid form. In real life, this would have given him iron poisoning, but he didn't survive long enough to find that out.

Subverted in X-Men: Days of Future Past. The concrete cell under the Pentagon was not built specifically for him, but simply constructed that way because steel was being rationed at the time. It still holds him quite well, though.

X-Men: First Class: The film ends with him outright proclaiming that he prefers his new moniker: Magneto.

X-Men: Apocalypse: Charles pleads with him not to join Apocalypse, but Lehnsherr has already reclaimed his Magneto persona.

Even when he genuinely tries to find peace in X-Men: Apocalypse,  his family is killed triggering an epic Rage Against the Heavens moment.

X-Men: He forcibly places Rogue into his machine, knowing full well that it will kill her.

X-Men: First Class:

X-Men: Days of Future Past: He would have murdered Mystique if it weren't for Beast's timely intervention.

Dark Phoenix: He attempts to murder Jean when he learns she killed Mystique. Later on, he finds himself alone against Vuk on the Mutant Containment Unit's train, uses his power to pick up every remaining gun, and empties them all into her at point-blank range. Thanks to Vuk's innate Healing Factor and getting an upgrade from absorbing the Phoenix, she blows this off without a scratch.

He cracks Emma Frost's crystalline neck after she refuses to cooperate.

He nearly strangles Moira to death with her own military dog tags, although Xavier manages to talk him out of it.

#MagnetoInformation

[gamer2002]

Danganronpa - Review2002

Danganronpa is a mystery VN, where 15 high schoolers are trapped in a murder school, and in order to get out one has to kill another and frame somebody else for it. Observed and manipulated by the headmaster of the school, a sadistic robot-bear called Monokuma, our main character, Makoto, has to survive and not lose his hope. Because there is a lot of despair. And hope. Despair. Hope. Despair. Light. Darkness. Kingdom Hearts.

But we’ll talk about that later.

Despite all the murder thingy, the game is just an edgy shonen and is very animu. It’s not a bad thing, because it’s entertaining, and that’s what matters the most. Characters are mostly simplistic, often stereotypical, but are distinguish and memorable (aside from meh protag). What is good about the cast is how the group dynamics changes with each case. Thanks to that, the characters seem more alive, and the surrounding drama seems more impactful. And sometimes the drama is really good, though it’s dragged down by the meme writing. But about that later.

The trials, where we try to figure out the killer’s identities, are good gameplay-wise. Aside from the rhythm minigame. I get the creators wanted to demonstrate losing arguments by lack of confidence, but, until half of the game, that minigame had nothing to do with logic or deduction. Every other minigame was good or ok, though.

Comparing to Ace Attorney, the trials were more dynamic, with constant new arguments and questions. It helps that the equivalent of AA’s testimonies is briefer (as it’s on a time limit). Not to mention, the filled with moving camera direction really made non-animated and non-moving characters feel alive. The music was ok – it serves its purpose, but it isn’t memorable.

The gameplay between trials was ok. Investigations didn’t drag too long. The free time did sometimes, but that’s because I was collecting more coins than it was necessary. The coins are spent for presents, which we can give to other characters, in return for learning more about them and gaining upgrades for the trials. But, to be frank, some upgrades were “turn off the setting we put to make the gameplay purposefully shittier”.  

It’s an entertaining game with some good ideas, which earns 7/10 in my book. But there are reasons why this game doesn’t earn any higher, which I’m going to elaborate on. The subject is Kingdom Hearts Meme Writing, Monokuma being a letdown villain, the big revelation being a lot of nothing, and how the writers could’ve made the Hope vs Despair nonsense actually work. The last two are impossible to write about without spoilers, but I can explain the first two without them.

Despair. Despair. Despair. Despair. Do you get it? I hope.

I know this is a shonen, regardless how edgy it is, and the writers were pretty self-aware of this. But the despair/hope meme drags down the writing. Monokuma goes on and on about how he will turn all the hope into despair, and this is just as ridiculous as a talking cartoon bear that kills a man by literally blasting him into space can be. It’s a meme writing. A ham-fisted, forced meme writing.

Other examples of meme writing is Kingdom Hearts, with its light and darkness, or Ace Attorney, with its truth. We all roll our eyes over that. Characters are bringing up some concept in a melodramatic way, repeatably, with a ridiculous zeal that doesn’t just seem alien, but straight out autistic. But it’s okay, all those titles, including Ronpa, are still shonens. Kingdom Hearts is a battle shonen where you fight against forces of evil alongside Donald Duck. You can turn your brain off and enjoy yourself, no biggie. But turning your brain off is a bit harder in, you know, a murder mystery.

Yeah, Ace Attorney is murder mystery as well, and yet I give it a pass. That’s because “truth” is just an ideal of idealistic characters. Phoenix, Edgeworth, and the rest, are melodramatically motivating themselves by simplistically expressing their ideal. And  melodrama is part of a wrestling, and logic wrestling is what Ace Attorney boils down to. So, why this isn’t the same in this logic wrestling game?

The problem with hope/despair is that those are not just some concepts or ideals, but those are emotions. Emotions that the writing does attempt to make you feel, sometimes pretty successfully. Case 4 is an example of a beautifully set up tragedy, it’s the game’s emotional peak. The reveal is shocking and sad, and the dramatic confession is filled with genuine emotion. And then the confession has the word “despair” in it, and my brain is immediately going back to Monokuma and his antics. Good thing that the official translation team has realized that they would have killed the mood sooner, if they had included that word in an earlier appearing evidence. Same thing happens whenever the word “hope” appears – it just makes us recall the memes.

In my AI: Somnium Files I’ve explained to you the need of being explicit about what is supposed to make the player feel emotions. But you can’t be ham-fisted about what the player is supposed to feel. Turning hope and despair into KH’s equivalent of light and darkness is turning them into a material for jokes. It is a repeatable telling us what to feel, and that simply can’t work. If the game didn’t do that, a lot of good moments wouldn’t be dragged down by being a reference to something we joke about.

Monokuma is just the biggest kid tier villain

There are spoiler reasons why Monokuma fails at being a villain, but I’ll mention them in spoiler section about improving the whole hope vs despair conflict. But the basic problem with Monokuma is spoiler-free, because it all boils down to the game’s initial setup.

Generally, Monokuma is a recurring type of villain that mixes nihilism, cartoonish silliness and cruel sadism into one, disturbing package. Other examples of such villains is the Joker, or Killer the Butcher from Zambot 3. When you look at Monokuma alone, he is (aside from spoiler reasons) a good example of such a villain. He is over the top, entertaining, scheming, memorable, gets all the attention in every scene he is in, and is constantly disturbing. All his bases are covered, so all is good, right? But only when you look at Monokuma alone.

Character in a story isn’t just some element you can look at alone, it’s an element you see among all the others. Great villain needs a great hero. Great hero needs a great villain. If one is unimpressive, the other can’t impress us with their triumphs.

The reason why the Joker is a great villain is because he is a challenge for the goddamn Batman, creating a clash of an unstoppable force against an unmovable object. Killer the Butcher’s enemies are kids piloting alien giant robot with superior firepower. What makes the Bucher a good villain is that, regardless of his lost battles, he still succeeds at causing significant collateral damage, which constantly contributes to his stated goal of slowly killing all humans. And Butcher doesn’t just rely on his show reaching logical conclusions about consequences of battles between giant robots, the entire arc before heroes directly attacking his HQ is about him using a weapon they can’t fight with a giant robot – kidnapped people turned into living human bombs. The amount of sacrifices, losses and traumas that kids from a 70s (!) super robot show have to go through is why Killer the Butcher is an impressive villain you love to hate.

But Monokuma isn’t an unstoppable force going against an unmovable object. Neither he is battling heroes that are capable of beating him in a direct confrontation, forcing him to rely on different forms of accomplishing his goals. He targets fifteen uninformed kids, with like three giving him a reason to worry, and puts them in a situation where they can’t initially defy him at all. It’s not a spoiler to say that the kids initially can’t find any clues that would’ve allowed them to free themselves from Monokuma. Their exploration of the school is limited, and next areas are unlocked only after class trials. Meaning, Monokuma limits kids’ ability to gather information required to beat him, until the next killing occurs. If the kids don’t kill anybody, they can only hope to (hah) apathetically accept their imprisonment by Monokuma.

To sum it up, all that Monokuma accomplishes is making some confused kids kill one another, when they are in a situation where it’s their only option to free themselves. Wow, what an impressive villain, doing whatever he wants with helpless children and driving them to murder.

It doesn’t help that the actual conclusion of the conflict with Monokuma is underwhelming, and all his actions only make us respect him less as a villain. But more about that later, in the spoiler section. But not immediately, because first we need to focus on the game’s disappointing big revelation.

Who cares that the world is over?

All attempts to escape the murder school were pointless – the world has already ended! Play the laugh track.

To give the writers credit, Genocide Jill’s explanation of that was funny and played out as a dark joke. And that’s the only way this revelation could be played out.

When it comes for the twist being a twist, it’s okeyish. The twist itself isn’t hard to guess, by the end of the first trial, and it’s almost given away by the third one. On the other side, there are photos of kids that died in previous chapters, and you could wonder if they aren’t going to reveal that everybody lives and this all was a simulation, or something. It can be easily guessed, but there is room for speculation, and you may not know which route the writers will go. Even if those routes are “predictable” and “a disappointing backpedal”.

But even if you end up being surprised… it’s an emotional bunch of nothing. Makoto gets his answer to what could’ve happened to his family, and he still doesn’t even realize it. That’s how the writing poorly handled one way it could’ve made us care about end of the world – through Makoto’s reaction to it.

Makoto is such an uninteresting, purposefully average, and ultimately unimpressive main character. We know he has family, parents, and a younger sister, but one picture of them is all we got. We don’t know the dynamics of their relationship, and we don’t know why Makoto loves them. Just saying “they are his family” isn’t enough. When Superman and his family are written well, we know why Clark Kent cares deeply about them – Ma Kent is such a great mother, Pa Kent is such a great father, and each scene with them demonstrates it.

Through the game, Makoto could’ve flashbacks to his family, as an ongoing C plot. That way we would’ve been shown why Makoto cares about them, why he wants to make sure they are safe, why he could feel tempted about escaping via murder (leading to him rejecting that idea because his family wouldn’t want it that way). And then boom – yes, the world has ended, and they are probably dead.

But Makoto never ever connects the state of the world to the state of his family. And that’s a big mistake, because that was a way to spice up the ultimate clash between Hope and Despair.

How to argue that Despair can be better than Hope

Before I focus on the topic, let me first expand on the topic of Monokuma being a disappointing villain, by telling you why Junko is a disappointing villain.

Junko just pulls everything out of her ass. Ok, she happens to have a super soldier sister, who was capable of killing Academy’s entire adult staff, letting her to take over the school. This part is acceptable by shonen standards. It was the Acadamy that was responsible for sealing the building and setting its defense, ok. But then everything else is an unexplained bullshit. Endless Monokumas? She has them because the writer says so. Ability to take away memories? She has them because the writer says so. Hijacking all TV channels? Performing ridiculously complex executions? Securing supplies to the Academy in a post-apo setting? She can because the writers says so.

She simply isn’t a formidable villain. She is nothing more than a bored girl, that could’ve been successful as a normal person, but the entire universe decided to grant her everything to let her play a supervillain. She doesn’t accomplish any impressive feat by herself. Even taking over of the Academy was solely thanks to her sister. With her granted unfair total advantage over the cast, there was no other way for her to lose than keeping screwing herself. She can’t even gain respect as a formidable opponent from sticking to her rules, because she not only purposefully handicaps the most competent person in the cast, but also keeps breaking her own rules.

The second aspect of a good villain is understandability. And Junko is a stupid incomprehensible mess. She always feels despair, and that somehow makes her constantly bored. But she wants to prove that’s better than hope. For some reason, she is a sadist. She is also happy about facing ultimate despair in form of her own death, but she didn’t yearn to that enough to off herself before all her plans. Nothing adds up, and she just does whatever crazy shit the writers needs her to do at the current moment. This is the aspect where she just sucks as a Joker-type villain. Such villains, when done well, aren’t just twisted, wrong, crazy edgemasters. When done well, they are also, despite everything, still somehow understandable. That’s what makes them actually shocking. It isn’t just shocking that they do horrible things, it is shocking that they can argue that everything they do serves a purpose and is consistent with a coherent belief.

Joker (when written well) and Killer the Butcher do have nihilistic philosophy that is wrong and twisted, but does have some shocking points. Joker believes that normal life is pointless, because one bad day can drive you mad, so it’s better to embrace awfulness of the world as your entertainment. And this philosophy is consistent with him wanting to commit macabre crimes. Killer the Butcher believes that humans are ungrateful bastards and will even treat their saviors like crap. And this philosophy is consistent with him wanting to kill all humans. Even if you don’t agree with their believes (I hope), you understand why somebody with such believes would be doing what they are doing. This understandability is what elevates banal conflict against a bad guy that does a bad thing that has to be stopped, into a conflict against a personified idea. Batman doesn’t just fight the Joker, he fights a nihilistic view of a pointless mad world. Zambot 3 kids don’t just fight Killer the Butcher, they fight view of humans as unworthy of living and being saved. That is why those conflicts aren’t banal.

Meanwhile, Junko makes a big promise for a Hope vs Despair conflict, arguing that the latter is better than former, but...

What is “despair” anyway? Is it to give up from stuff like escaping the school, and accepting whatever you end up having, however shitty it is? But what does it have with Junko’s boredom and embracing her own death? What is the point of the over-the-top executions? Junko is gleefully sadistic, what about despair makes you sadistic? Did she want the cast and her viewers to embrace sadism as well?  How’s that better than hope? It’s incomprehensible, and fails to make any point. The blame lies pretty much on the out-of-place sadism that exists just to make Junko an edgelady.

Danganronpa is a murder mystery. And despite being an over-the-top shonen, it does focus, decently, on motives for committing murders. Every single killer in this game is understandable. Their actions were wrong, but you understand why they did everything they did. There is just a sole exception to this rule – the games’ main villain.

During the final confrontation, Junko was arguing that futile hopes of previous murderers drove them to committing murder. That alone does make a good point. Then she offered everyone safe peaceful life, if they acknowledged her belief and abandoned all hope. Ok, that’s a good dilemma. Surprising that with such a good prepared dilemma Junko bothered to handicap and eliminate Kyoko, when she could just guide the cast towards Junko and this dilemma faster. Still, Junko does make a point about despair being better than hope, and does make the cast face a dilemma, in a way that is consistent with her belief. But then she adds she wants to punish someone for lulz, and that person has to be our bland player character.  

And how killing Makoto proves that despair is better than hope? It was a yet another act of Junko’s pointless sadism, which only made it more difficult for other characters to agree with her. Anyway, Junko is ultimately unimpressive, because she loses to Makoto just saying “let’s have some hope, guys”. All that buildup of understandable motives of past killers lead to a rather banal final conflict with a completely banal resolution.

Things would be different, if Junko didn’t forget about Makoto’s family and did bring them up during the final argument. I still think that trying to kill Makoto was counterproductive, but I understand the need of putting MC’s life at stake. But Junko could single out Makoto for execution because he was pushing for the idea of everyone leaving the school, despite the revelation about state of the world, and she could accuse him for selfishly risking lives of others, just for a hope of reunion with his own family. Imagine that being the payoff of flashbacks to Makoto’s family and his wish to reunite with them. Sure, here, Makoto has proved he wouldn’t directly murder anybody over it, but would he willingly disregard safety of others? He can’t really refute that, without giving up on leaving the school.

And that’s how Junko could undermine Makoto and make her point. Living trapped in the school and abandoning all hope for the outside world was bad, but it could be worse. At least it was safe, peaceful, and they had food plus entertainment. Looking for anything better outside was risky. Hoping for anything better was risky. Hope was bad. The state of despair, where you no longer hope for anything better than what you have, was good. Unable to accept this Makoto was spreading ideas that were dangerous for the well-being of others. How Makoto, willing to selfishly drag everyone else into a dangerous hell-word and risk their lives, was that much different from every other killer? Sure, they killed others directly, but at least none of their victims had a slow and painful death. Makoto was willing to potentially doom others to that. And this is why he had to be put down, like all the other killers had to be, regardless of their understandable motives. In the current state of the world, any reckless hope is a dangerous thought crime.

Here, the final debate could be more complex. Makoto could’ve pointed out that, even if he could be accused for having a selfish hope, it was the same with others. Everyone else wanted their situation to improve, and giving that up for hollow safety wouldn’t do. Hope is better than despair, freedom is better than safety. The future of post-apo is libertarian, and if we can’t live with the freedom to pursue our hopes, then we won’t live at all. No more lockdowns!

You don’t have to agree with such a statement, but at least it is some statement. Here, we have a clash of hope that accepts the risk against despair that is unwilling to accept any risks. Unlike what we got, where despair is somehow tied to sadism, and hope simply rides on the power of friendship.

#danganronpa #video games #video game review #story review #review #visual novel #vn #murder mystery #story #writing tips #writing #review2002

[courtingstars]

Notes for The Vanishing Prince: Chapter Nine

Yay, Chapter Nine is finally posted! As I mentioned over on Ao3, I’ve been looking forward to sharing this one for a loooong time. I don’t have much to share in the way of cultural notes, but I still had some pretty big things I wanted to talk about… Like info about the mental health topics from the therapy scene, plus a ton of rambling about things I’ve been researching and/or planning for a while. So if that’s something you’re interested in, well… enjoy? //laughs

As always, I updated the Pinterest inspiration board with images inspired by the new chapter. (I actually did that last month, which was when I originally intended to post the chapter before my schedule fell apart… So anyone who was checking the board during that time got an accidental sneak peak of what was coming next. Oops? ^^;) You can check the board out here.

And with that, on to the notes!

Cut for a writer babbling on and on about mental health research, references to earlier events in the series, and also violins (!!) …

Akashi’s Childhood Friendships

So the first scene of Chapter Nine features a headcanon of mine that has been popping up throughout the series… Which is that when Akashi started going to school, he attended a private elementary school that mainly catered to elite, wealthy families and their children. He was generally encouraged to spend time with his classmates, rather than seeking friends elsewhere, and he never made any close friends from a different social “class” until he started going to Teikou. (Which he joined specifically because he asked his mother if he could go somewhere that was different from his elementary school.)

As this chapter reveals, he never told his father about the friends he ended up making through basketball, because of the values he was modeled earlier in life. This was actually brought up alllll the way back in The Fast Train to Kyoto. (Though it was pretty vague!) In fact, Akashi referenced it in the very first scene:

Maybe it was the echoes of his father’s voice inside his head, just another series of frosty words he ached to forget:

“It is not for an Akashi to associate with just anyone. Your time is valuable, Seijuurou, and so is your reputation. See that you don’t waste it, on trivial pursuits, or persons unworthy of your stature.”

Akashi cringed. ‘Persons unworthy of his stature? What a ridiculous idea. Everyone he had ever known who had made his life worthwhile, had no particular wealth or rank to speak of. (With the crucial exception of his mother.) He had long ago discarded this principle of his father’s as nonsense.

I also explained the backstory with his elementary school and his struggle to make friends in a lot more detail in Chapter Three of Fast Train. (As well as why he decided to go to Teikou, and how he started making friends there, particularly Midorima.)

That aspect of his childhood turned out to be pretty important in the series, so I thought it was worth mentioning that Akashi did talk about it before… Especially since those early values still affect how he sees his friendships, plus it’s one of the reasons why he’s been trying to keep those friends as separate from his home life as possible. (Until Furihata came along and wanted to sleep over at his house, and he just couldn’t say no to his BFF, apparently? //laughs)

Attachment Theory, Disorganized Attachment, and Dissociation

So, uh… I’m not qualified to talk about any of this, like, at all. //laughs That being said, I’ll start with a big disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional, or an expert about this subject in any way whatsoever. So if anything I say doesn’t make sense or I get any of the details wrong, I sincerely apologize in advance! This is just based on the research I’ve done and some first-person accounts I’ve read over the years. As a non-expert, I find a lot of psychology theory to be difficult to research in general… Since a lot of the science is still being studied and verified, and things are becoming outdated all the time.

Okay, so with all that being said… In this chapter, Akashi’s psychiatrist brings up a theory in psychology called attachment theory. If you’d like to learn the basics of how it started, the Wikipedia article has a decent overview of the initial studies. Basically, the theory has to do with the idea that children bond with their primary caregiver (stereotypically the mother, but it doesn’t have to be) either successfully or unsuccessfully, based on how the caregiver responds to the child’s needs. A child who bonds with their caregiver in a healthy, successful way is said to be “securely” attached, while an unhealthy bond is an “insecure attachment.”

From there, it gets more complicated… There are a few different types/forms of insecure attachment, and these types can be classified in different ways, depending on the study. (There’s also something called “attachment style,” which from what I can tell is an idea inspired by attachment theory, that adults will have a general style of bonding that originates from their main caregiver bond in childhood. This idea is often used to help adults work through issues in their adult relationships.) For example, there’s generally an “anxious” form of attachment where the child is overly scared and tends to cling to their caregiver if they try to leave, out of fear that they won’t get the care they need. Then there’s an “avoidant” type where the child tends to push the caregiver away or ignore them, and can seem very apathetic and independent. (Even though they’re actually just as scared on the inside of not being cared for as an “anxious” child.)

As you can imagine, there are a lot of theories about why this happens, and what exactly in the caregiving process could contribute to it. What’s more, some children display both anxiety and avoidance… A form of this is called “disorganized attachment.” As Akashi’s psychiatrist explains, this describes a behavioral pattern where the child clings to their caregiver AND pushes them away, sometimes very close together. This style seems to often develop when the child has been through some kind of early trauma, often severe abuse or neglect. It also seems to be prevalent among people with dissociation disorders, which isn’t surprising, given the common thread of childhood trauma between the two. You can read more about that in this article here.

Actually, I first learned about disorganized attachment—and attachment in general—when I was reading a blog many years ago that was written by someone chronicling their experience with Dissociative Identity Disorder. As I researched the subject in more detail, I came across a few explanations about how children with this attachment style tend to act very confused and distressed around their caregivers, and I found the descriptions really sad… It helped me begin to better understand some of the difficulties that these children go through, and how it affects their minds when they’re still developing. It’s not hard to imagine how a child who longs to be taken care of but also has painful experiences of being denied that care (for whatever reason) can really struggle with trying to make sense of their reality and survive it on an emotional level. And that struggle causes lasting damage.

It’s important to note, though, that some psychologists will caution against assuming that a child’s attachment to their primary caregiver always dictates how they will attach to other people in their life, or in their future relationships. Also, there’s some evidence that children may struggle with attachment issues not just because of the actions of their caregiver, but also due to their own personality/ genetic predispositions. You can read more about both of these topics here.

Way back when I started planning this series, and deciding how to portray Akashi’s backstory, I found myself returning over and over to the concept of disorganized attachment… I wasn’t sure if it would make it into the fic directly, and it’s certainly not the only thing that influenced my portrayal of Akashi’s mental health. But it was definitely something I had in mind from the start, and helped shape the series, so I’m glad that I did end up referencing it in some detail.

The Akashi Family Servants

Since I just introduced the housekeeper, now seems as good a time as any to mention this… Originally, I didn’t plan for the servants who work for the Akashi family to have roles in the series at all? XD Takeda is the only one who’s mentioned in The Fast Train to Kyoto, and he doesn’t have a name. (I refer to him as either Akashi’s “driver” or “valet” depending on what he’s doing… This was actually before I’d decided that Takeda is the one who drives Akashi around when he’s in Kyoto. OTL) Then I mentioned several of the servants during Furihata’s visit in Storming the Castle… But almost no one gets a real introduction? Except for the butler, Ginhara. //laughs

One reason why I took so long to give them names/describe them is that I try to mostly stick to writing about canon characters in fics, instead of creating a ton of OCs. (I consider the families of the KnB characters to be canon, since they’re in the fanbooks. XD) But I enjoy coming up with minor characters, if it feels like a good fit for the story! Still, you can really tell that I didn’t know I would end up using these characters as much as I did, because their names are alllll over the place… Especially Takeda, which is roughly the Japanese equivalent of naming a character Mr. Smith or something? (LOL.) For a while I really regretted that I didn’t come up with a more interesting name for him, since he ended up being in this series CONSTANTLY. Also, I recently received this incredible comment on Chapter 5 of The Fast Train to Kyoto and it’s one of my all-time FAVORITES:

“Yo the drivers probs just sitting in the front like

Mmm this tea is piping hot”

(And they signed their name Yeet too, omgggg XDD)

… So yeah, I have decided this is totally Takeda’s reaction, to Akashi and Furihata’s whole “friend breakup” in the rain in the first story. //laughs

That said, I kind of love that Takeda has such a generic name now? Especially after he showed up at Seirin in sunglasses in this chapter. (Like maybe Takeda isn’t even his real name, because he actually had an exciting former life as a secret agent or something like that, and now he’s working for this super rich kid from a powerful family and maybe he’s actually hiding some epic skills so he can double as Akashi’s bodyguard if he needs to…? I DON’T KNOW, I HAVE WEIRD HEADCANONS.)

In any case, I enjoyed coming up with the characters for the Akashi family staff, even though it took a while! And I’m glad a few of them were able to play an interesting part in sneaking Akashi out of the house, so his dad wouldn’t find out about Furihata. (Though we don’t know what any of them think about that, or not yet, at least. XD) There will be at least one more member of the staff who gets an introduction, which should be coming soon. But for now, we’ve got:

Takeda, Akashi’s personal valet (and driver, sometimes)

Ginhara, the Akashi family butler and head of staff

Umagami Ichiro, Yukimaru’s groom

Inuyama, Akashi’s father’s personal valet

Hanamitsu Atsuko, housekeeper for the Akashi mansion in Tokyo

The Akashi family chef (name???)

(Plus some maids, who I also did not name)

… And as you can see, most of them still don’t have given names, even the ones with family names. That’s how disorganized I’ve been about this. //laughs

Also, I have a feeling no one was actually wondering (lol), but if you happen to remember this scene from Episode 63 in the Teikou arc in the anime:

In my headcanons, this guy is the head chauffeur for the Akashi family household, and he used to drive the whole family around. (Which would mean that he was also mentioned in The Fast Train to Kyoto, in a brief flashback about Akashi and his parents! Where he’s just “the driver.” XD) Now he mostly drives Akashi’s father to work, and sometimes chauffeurs Akashi as well, when he’s in Tokyo. (Whereas Takeda drives him around in Kyoto.) I briefly referred to him as Onoda in Chapter One of The Vanishing Prince, so… I guess that’s the name I came up with for him? //laughs

TL;DR… I’ve really enjoyed writing about the various characters who work for the Akashi family, and I had way more fun including them in the story than I expected. <3 (Maybe I should give in and post character sketches for all the OCs in this series sometime… That would be a project. XD)

Beliefs About Ghosts

I might go into this more in a future chapter, but I did want to briefly discuss how Reo talks to Furihata about ghosts, and how/why they haunt certain places… There are a LOT of different beliefs all over the world about whether ghosts are real, and why they appear. There are also lots of theories about whether they need the help of living humans to pass on or not.

For this fic, I tried to include some of the most common beliefs in Reo’s response, including the “revenge” ghost stories that are super common in Japanese folklore. But it’s not a comprehensive explanation by any means, and there are a lot of people who believe in ghosts and spirits but wouldn’t agree with the ideas Reo mentioned. (Basically, I had to pick among a bunch of different supernatural ideas about ghosts for the fic, and these are some of the ones I chose to include? But that’s not to say that they’re representative of my own beliefs, or of every Japanese person who believes in ghosts, either!)

The Akashi Family Curse (…?)

So I know some readers have been discussing this and making predictions about it in the comments for a while now… And while I don’t want to spoil anything about where the story is going, I’m really excited that I finally got to reveal another piece of the legend/rumors about the Akashi family curse:

Furihata’s mouth dropped open. It never occurred to him that some people might still think that the Akashis were cursed, centuries later. Or that these rumors were somehow connected to their catlike eyes. Was that maybe even how the peasants in the legend came up with the curse in the first place? Were they just creeped out, by this super-rare genetic thing that ran in the family?

Or… could it be true? Could the Akashi family really be cursed?

I can’t remember if anyone specifically connected the dots about the legend being connected to the “catlike” eyes or not… But if you saw this coming, YES YOU WERE TOTALLY RIGHT AND I AM IMPRESSED. <333

As for what the legend/rumors say about how the curse works, and whether or not it’s actually real… I guess I shouldn’t go into that just yet, for the sake of spoilers. XD But hopefully you can have fun guessing for now! And I’m glad I can finally point to the connection between the idea of a family curse and the “catlike eyes” to explain why I kept including so many passages like this one:

He and Akashi were walking through another long passageway. This one was lined with life-sized portraits—and oddly enough, Furihata recognized some of the faces. He had seen them in paintings in the Tokyo house.

“Are these your relatives?” he asked. They didn’t resemble Akashi very much. But a few did have the same unusual, catlike pupils.

Akashi nodded, as he glanced up at the huge frames. “They led the family, several generations ago. This one was my great-great-great-great-great grandfather.”

He gestured to the largest painting. The steel-haired man in the portrait wore a piercing frown. Even his posture was severe, somehow.

… Yeah, there are a BUNCH of descriptions in A Spark of Light of portraits of Akashi’s relatives, and how some of them have the same eyes as him. Also, as I’m sure a lot of people noticed, I mention Akashi’s eyes A LOT throughout the series. And this is one of the reasons why I wanted to emphasize it so much. XD

(Well, okay and also like a lot of fic writers, I enjoy pretty descriptions about eyes. XD BUT I WOULD’VE TRIED TO CUT MORE OF THEM IF IT WASN’T SUCH AN IMPORTANT PLOT POINT… Or so I’ll claim, anyway. //laughs)

And Finally… THE VIOLIN

Ahhh I’m so happy I finally got to post this scene! I’ve been saving the moment of Akashi playing his violin for Furihata for a loooong time… I foreshadowed it briefly back in Storming the Castle, when Furihata notices Akashi’s violin case sitting in his study. But I got the idea for this scene even earlier… All the way back when I drafted that part in The Fast Train to Kyoto, where Akashi plays his violin after he writes to Furihata to tell him they can’t be friends. (YES. IT HAS BEEN THAT LONG.)

So, yeah… I had no idea know how long it would take to get there, but I definitely knew that Akashi would have to play his violin for Furihata at some point. And I wanted it to be a Really Big Moment in their romantic arc. So I did the best I could with it. (Because, I mean… How could I NOT include a scene where Akashi plays the violin for Furihata? That just had to happen, come on. //laughs)

As I mentioned over on Ao3, I do have my own idea about which piece Akashi plays for Furi… I might even mention it directly in the next chapter, but I’m not sure yet? (Either way, if you have a piece that you’d like to imagine him playing instead, you have my blessing. xD I tried to write it in such a way that he could be playing a lot of different songs!) So here was my thought process on that…

I figured Akashi would probably decide to play something on the simple side for Furihata, rather than anything too technical/demanding on the ear. I also realized that he was probably thinking that Furihata would like a sweet, romantic sort of song, because of this scene from Storming the Castle:

“Oh, r-right.” Furihata let go of the flower. He managed a laugh. “Sorry. I’m being weird, huh?”

“I just never realized you had such an interest in roses,” Akashi said, with a hint of humor. “But it shouldn’t surprise me, really.”

Furihata didn’t follow. “Why’s that?”

The edge of Akashi’s mouth dimpled. “Well, you are a romantic, after all.”

And that was when I realized… ROSES. Like, what if the piece had to do with roses, because Akashi was remembering that conversation about Furihata’s romantic side that they had in his rose garden…? So in my head, Akashi plays a version of The Last Rose of Summer, which is this really sweet, old Irish song that was later set to a poem of that name, written by Thomas Moore. It’s an easier piece to play, so it’s a little difficult to find a nice version of it by a professional violinist. But I did find this arrangement that is SUPER old-fashioned and adorable:

And my personal favorite version with strings that I found (and linked first on Ao3) is probably this one. Though I believe the violin doesn’t start until around a minute and a half into the recording?

(My sister and I thought the first soloist *might* be a viola… Apologies if we’re wrong though!! We took band a thousand years ago in high school but didn’t play in an orchestra, so we’re basically clueless about anything with strings. XD)

Anyway, I just thought that the song would be fitting because of the whole “bonding over roses” connection to Storming the Castle, and the fact that they’re still on summer vacation in this story… Plus the words of the poem are kind of the most Oreshi thing I’ve ever heard??? It’s REALLY sad, but also all about friendship. You can hear how it’s sung and see the complete lyrics in this version by Charlotte Church if you’d like (again, the song starts at around 1:30), but I’ll also include the beginning and end of the poem here:

Tis the last rose of summer,

Left blooming alone,

All her lovely companions

Are faded and gone.

…

So soon may I follow

When friendships decay;

And from love's shining circle

The gems drop away

When true hearts lie wither'd

And fond ones are flow'n

Oh! Who would inhabit

This bleak world alone?

… TELL ME THAT’S NOT AN ORESHI KIND OF POEM. It’s all about friendship and being afraid of being alone, and I just… gahhhh. T_____T

Also, you might have noticed that the versions I linked don’t have any parts where the soloist plucks the violin strings, which I described Akashi doing at one point… That’s because I like to think that in between playing a simpler version, Akashi also slips into a few sections of Variations on the Last Rose of Summer by Ernst, which you can see the violinist Midori playing here. (Unlike the other versions I linked, this is one of the hardest pieces ever written for violin, period… Apparently it’s so difficult that many top-tier professionals won’t even play it in front of a crowd! So for those of you who want to picture him playing something more badass, I’ve got you covered. XD)

(And while we’re still on the subject of different versions… My all-time favorite when it comes to different instruments playing The Last Rose of Summer has got to be this one. BECAUSE IT’S A KOTO, LIKE OMGGGG YES. Honestly, if my series had a sound, I’d like to think that it would be this…? Because roses and traditional Japanese instruments, that’s why. //laughs)

Also, I’m not sure whether anyone was curious about this part of the scene:

Akashi chuckled as he unlatched the case. Resting on a bed of crimson silk was a delicately carved violin. Furihata didn’t know how to tell if an instrument was well made, but he was pretty sure that this one had to be.

So I do indeed headcanon that Akashi would have a really nice violin… For those who might not know, violins can be EXTREMELY expensive, most notably at the professional and soloist quality levels. As in, the famous Stradivarius violins are valued at $10 million or MORE, for example. XD Though I personally tend to think that Akashi probably wouldn’t play a Strad himself… He’d have too much reverence for the instrument for that. //laughs (Although I wouldn’t be surprised if his family owns a Stradivarius and lends it out to some world-famous soloist… Which is apparently how it works in real life, by the way!) But I still imagine that his violin would be a super fancy one, maybe somewhere in the $100k range or something? (And now I’m just imagining Furihata finding that out and freaking out, lol.)

And last but not least, since I’m already rambling a lot, I would like to credit a new favorite YouTube channel of mine that I discovered while writing the violin scene… I really wanted to make sure that I described the violin playing correctly, because like I mentioned, I understand nothing about stringed instruments whatsoever. (I was a very mediocre flute player, once upon a time. //laughs)

So while I was hunting for references, I stumbled across TwoSet Violin, and OMG THEY ARE THE COOLEST CHANNEL EVER. I’d recommend them to literally everyone, even if you don’t play the violin or have any interest in classical music! They’re two professional violinists from Australia who make tons of super-entertaining content, like analyzing the way actors pretend to play instruments in movies and Chinese dramas, or trying to play the cheapest violin they can buy on Amazon. And it’s FANTASTIC. XD They’re super skilled and funny, and they even inspired me to listen to classical music again, so yeah, I can’t recommend them enough. <3

Well, this post turned out a lot longer than I expected…? //laughs In any case, I hope it was interesting, and thank you for reading! And as I said over on Ao3, thank you again to all of my lovely readers for your patience, especially while I dealt with my grandmother’s passing. I have the next chapter of the fic drafted, just like last time, but it does have some issues so I’m not sure how long it will take to edit. (Hopefully less time than this one did. OTL) I’ll definitely do my best to post it as soon as I can. In the meantime, I really hope everyone is staying safe, and see you then!

#the vanishing prince #kat writes fanfic #text post #long post #kat writes about basketball dorks #akafuri #good lord this post was loooooong #and the chapter was long #everything I write is long XD #but I'm so glad I got to FINALLY POST THIS #I can't even begin to express how long and painstaking the editing process was #BUT WE GOT THERE IT'S ALL GOOD #and I had a lot of fun writing a lot of these scenes #the adorable dorks continue to be adorable #Takeda and Ginhara also amused me this time for some reason #and the housekeeper #oh and Seirin was back YAY #I missed Bokushi though he wasn't in this one as much XD #also yay violins <3<3<3

[adoranymph]

I was never the most graceful of children. Not much has changed since then, but I’d say I was far more awkward in my formative years. Especially my very early formative years. There were a couple of things I did that were very ungraceful indeed, and I’m still embarrassed still thinking about those things, wondering how stupid could I have been? Child or no. But for these perfectly human mistakes, it was enough of a reason for the rest of my elementary school classmates to pass judgement and decree that they’d make the majority of my waking school life Hell.

Fortunately for me, I had a set of loving parents (and a cat) waiting for me at home every day to escape to. And I did have friends, however, most of them were outside of my class, so it was a gamble during recess if I’d see them, and things like finding partners for in-class assignments were awkward at best.

And unfortunately, not all kids are even as lucky as that, and have absolutely no friends, and come home to family lives that are less than loving.  

They say that “living well is the best revenge”, and oftentimes I would think as a child, “Just you wait until I’m a successful writer and you have some stupid boring job”, and that would get me through one day to the next. It was one of those thoughts that even my mother encouraged, if only to make me feel better. Not a nice thing, but there were other kids hurting her baby, so I’m sure as far as she was concerned, thinking that way in private at least couldn’t do any damage. I’d like to think that it didn’t, even as I still think about those kids and at this point just wonder if they’re managing to get through our current crises okay.  

I haven’t been without my own moments of being mean, and in truth, I don’t think any of us really can say that we haven’t been. Unless we’re raised a devout, hardcore Buddhist who’s a natural at letting bygones be bygones. Indeed, if only we all  had the patience of a saint and the ability to take everything with good humor like I’ve seen the Dalai Lama do in interviews. If anyone’s the pinnacle of that kind of merciful strength in a world like ours, it’s him. 

Forgiveness is a complicated thing. It’s a big deal when we can say that we can forgive those who have wronged us. Depending on the wrong that was done however, that can factor into how easy it is to forgive. Which means sometimes it’s just impossible. 

Some might call that a shame, and for the most part, I’d agree. 

Like everything though, there are exceptions. 

Unfortunately, at times, the desire of one who’s done another wrong to be forgiven for that wrong doesn’t always come from a place of sincerity. Which means it could be fair to argue that that person’s desire to be forgiven comes from a place of selfishness, which defeats the purpose. 

At the same time, true guilt is a painful thing to bear, speaking as someone who’s felt heavy guilt as much as heavy hurt. Anything to make that feeling go away can drive anyone decent to desperation. So one of the first conundra is whether or not it’s right to seek forgiveness, if it’s more to make yourself feel better than to heal the hurt you caused another person. Not to say it can’t be both, but to forgo the latter for the former is, I really believe, missing the mark.

True desires for forgiveness only come from wanting to make the person you wronged feel better. Never mind those who try to just use it as a free pass to get away with what they’ve done, something which casts a shadow on those who want it for sincere purposes. Mostly because I think many are under the misconception that receiving forgiveness works the same way as would a Sham-Wow on their soul. Because I’ve thought that too. I think most of us have. Most of us have felt so bad about doing something terrible to someone else, we’d do anything to make that bad feeling go away.

Then there are those who would say that that bad feeling is in and of itself a punishment, hence the argument, “Haven’t I been punished enough?” But, again, the important thing is whether or not you learn from that feeling, contemplate on it, and understand why it is you feel that way, and how it is that you’ve brought it on yourself. 

Even after all that, it isn’t enough to beg for forgiveness. And forgiveness just can’t be given. Like all the best things, it has to be earned. Sincerely earned. 

I have made mention more than once before that I’m “glad” I was bullied. “Glad” isn’t really the right word though, not unless I were a glutton for punishment. More what I mean that I’m glad I was the one was bullied as opposed to the one doing the bullying, i.e., I’m glad that I had to deal with that and that dealing with that made me a stronger person, rather than get swept up in the self-esteem high that seems to come from putting another person down.

I’d like to think so, anyway. But seeing as how I’d prefer above all that to have not been bullied in the first place, nor to have ever bullied anyone (as I said, I have thrown out the occasional mean thing here and there and then regretted it, realizing I was totally not thinking when I said those things), I had to settle with what I got. Like most of us do. To this day, I think about all the torment I went through socially in elementary school, and to a lesser degree in middle school, right before my parents died and I got packed off to live elsewhere with my aunt and uncle. 

In the anime film, A Silent Voice, Shoya, a boy who mercilessly bullies, Shoko, a deaf girl in his elementary school class, is forced to taste his own medicine when he himself becomes the target of bullying after Shoko is forced to switch schools just to get away from the abuse. Abuse which includes but is not limited to: destroying at least eight pairs of her hearing aids, openly mocking the way she speaks, and little things like drenching her in hose water and throwing dirt in her face.

The film follows his own efforts to atone, and how he and Shoko manage to form a friendship and learn how to heal each other’s hurts from the past in forming that friendship. It poses questions like whether it’s selfish for Shoya to seek atonement, and when enough is enough when it comes to being punished for something you did, especially now that you’ve changed. Truly changed. For the better. 

And Shoya’s change is startling. In his elementary school days, we see him as that punk kid with whom the rest of the class is willing to along when it comes to laughs, which unfortunately includes laughs at the expense of others. Until one day when he “goes too far”, which doesn’t say much considering he was already going too far but I guess the line has to be drawn at some point, which in this case is when the teachers finally get around to getting involved.

(Which by the way, what was up with their teacher back then? That whole beleaguered jackass routine? Yeah, that didn’t exactly help matters.)

But after that, when he himself becomes the bullied, when he undergoes his own form of karmic suffering for what he’s done, he turns meek, unable to look anyone in the eye or get close to anyone. He loses old friendships, and is on the brink of suicide when he tries to make amends with Shoko, only to find himself trying to form a new friendship with her, and the from there the film plays out. 

There are people in the world I know I can never forgive. That said, those I can’t forgive are usually people I can sense would never actually bear the weight of the guilt that most ought to feel for the things they’ve done. Still, a little forgiveness goes a long way in the grand scheme of things. Thankfully, most people are feeling individuals, so while I can’t forget what they’ve done, I can forgive for the sake of their sincere desire to change their ways based on their sincere understanding of why what they did hurt me and or others. 

In stories, we have the benefit as the reader/audience of seeing both sides of a situation, the one who wronged and the one who was wronged. So, from that fourth-wall perspective, we find it at once easy and difficult to understand where the characters on both sides are coming from. 

In Avatar: the Last Airbender, there was an episode where I felt this strong confliction of emotions. It was the episode where Zuko has left his father, the Fire Lord Ozai and ruler of the Fire Nation, in order to join Aang the Avatar in defeating him and his tyranny. But given his track record with Aang and his friends, having spent the first half of the show mercilessly hunting Aang down so he can present him to Ozai and regain his place as the Fire Prince, it’s understandable that Aang and the Gang aren’t particularly keen on letting him join their group. Especially for Katara, who seems to carry the deepest wounds where both Zuko and the Fire Nation are concerned. So, even though they do need someone to teach Aang Firebending, Zuko has to work hard to get into their good graces enough in order to be accepted, and even then, there’s still some shaky ground to cover.

 Part of this is seeing how Zuko has to confront the consequences of his actions. Not just hunting Aang to the ends of the earth since the beginning of the series in order to please his father, and all the crimes against other innocents that that entailed, But also the fact that as he was starting to turn good, it seemed, towards the end of Book Two: Earth, before turning back “to the dark side”, as it were.

In the penultimate episodes of S2, he briefly gained Katara’s trust, presumably sharing with her the loss of his own mother when she broke down over the loss of her own as a casualty of this war that the Fire Nation started. Only for him to turn right around and take up his sister Azula’s offer to join her in taking Aang down in exchange for finally being allowed to come home after so many years of being banished. Just the same, it still hurt to see Zuko get turned away with so much anger when he tried to switch sides for good (in both senses of the word), especially when Katara drenched him furiously with water when he offered to be their prisoner if not a member of their group. As if we hadn’t already gotten enough of him getting kicked when he’s down in the episode “Zuko Alone”. 

Then you have Katara scoff at the idea that he’s trying to manipulate them by “making himself seem like an actual human being”. Which he wasn’t, and we know that, but we also know that to her, it must seem that way, given what happened between them last time. Still it stings, and more so when Toph tries to talk to the guy and he accidentally burns her feet when he’s startled by her, then tries to apologize and then yells, “Why am I so bad at being good?!”, which is at once piteous and hilarious. I like though that that ties into the reason that Aang finally gives into letting Zuko teach him Firebending, when Zuko admits that he too needs to learn control, so that he won’t accidentally burn people again. Aang identifies with that after that time he accidentally burnt Katara while getting too enthusiastic with his own first attempts at Firebending. I appreciate that nuance, because it’s the smallest patch of common ground to start sowing new friendship on, as it was Aang himself who wondered aloud if the two of them couldn’t have been friends, back in S1. 

Where Katara is concerned, she doesn’t really accept Zuko for a few more episodes down the line, not even after Zuko helps her brother Sokka break their father and Sokka’s girlfriend Suki out of the Boiling Rock Fire Nation prison. When everyone else seems to have accepted him, and she’s still clinging to her anger, he offers her the information on how to find the man who killed her mother as a means of appeasement. They go out together to track that man down, and Katara faces down her own demons, her desire for revenge. She realizes, after seeing how pathetic the man is, that he’d simply this small man who’d used his brief moment of power to take the life of an innocent, and what all that had amounted to. In the end, she can’t bring herself to kill him.

But it’s after that that she’s able to forgive Zuko, perhaps out of the fact that his taking her side on seeking revenge might have convinced her of the humanity inside him that was worth taking a chance on. That they do share the losses of their respective mothers in common as a result of Fire Lord Ozai and the Fire Nation’s war on the world. Unlike the ex-soldier who killed her mother, Zuko made not only a very human mistake, but one that he is genuinely, humanly sorry for. 

Zuko had to work to earn that forgiveness, and through earning it, learned from his mistake, rather than simply wore it as a badge of automatic absolvement. He absolved himself of his guilt with his own actions, and not at the will of Katara, and only after did Katara forgive him. Which led to something that, as much as part of me ships them (sort of) I don’t think gets enough credit as a beautiful hetero friendship. (Plus, I love Zuko x Mai just as much if not more. But then, nine times out of ten, I agree with the canon ships in most things.) 

Whether the initial desire for forgiveness was selfish, in the end, Zuko atoned for what he did and more, since in the climax episodes of the series he saves Katara’s life from a death bolt of lightning from his sister Azula by throwing himself in front of it. That he learned from that absolvement to be more self-sacrificing for the sake of those who are vulnerable (thankfully Katara takes Azula out right after he’s down for the count and it’s awesome). He didn’t just go back to his old habits, and was in fact able to clear that last hurtle to fully atone for everything he’s done. Pity the same can’t be said for his sister Azula, but I can set that aside for another post in future. 

In the case of Shoya and Zuko both, we see them go through moments that would make you feel for him, even though at the same time you know objectively and subjectively both that they deserve what they get coming to them. What mother wouldn’t smack someone for psychologically scarring their child, as Shoko’s mother does to Shoya in once scene? And when Shoya is first trying to reconnect with Shoko, Shoko’s little sister Yuzuru tries to keep Shoya from getting to her, just thing to look out for her. Which is totally understandable. And she’s even the one who points out that if Shoya’s just doing all this nice stuff to make himself feel better, he’s wasting his time. 

Only for Shoya to bring it back to how he still feels maybe the world would be better without him. 

As it turns out, Shoko is just as or nearly as suicidal as Shoya was at the beginning of the film. Like when they were in school, Shoko just wanted to be friends. In truth, the two of them had more in common than Shoya would have initially thought. But it was hard for him to understand that in part just because Shoko was someone with whom communication was difficult. So when Shoya finds Shoko about to jump off a balcony to her death, he manages to pull her back in the end without regard to the risk to his own life. 

From there comes an emotional wave-chain of weeping apologies and catharses. And Shoya and Shoko both come to an understanding that heretofore they hadn’t been able to reach. Once they’re able to bridge the gap between them, through a reaching out to the other, they begin to see the worth in each other’s lives, find reasons for each of them to be alive. Even before this moment, Shoya still seems to wonder if the world wouldn’t be better off without him, even after his mother’s already made him promise not to try that whole suicide thing again. 

The two of them have different reasons for wishing they were dead, and for wanting reasons to like themselves again. But those desires in and of themselves serve as common healing ground for them both. The idea of playing these themes against a girl who’s deaf is interesting in its own way, if only because when we’re addressing those with whom we disagree as well as those whom we’ve wronged but can’t understand how, or who have wronged us, it can often feel like we’re talking to those who can’t seem to hear us, even if they do actually have a working pair of ears. Which can serve as yet another block to forgiveness. 

Forgiveness as a concept is put on a pedestal it seems. That the ability to offer forgiveness grants you validation as a good person. That if you can’t, then there’s just some level of enlightenment that you have yet to reach. But, as said repeatedly above, it’s more complicated than that. There could be differences between forgiving a person, and forgiving their actions, and even vice versa, and every which way in between.

As I said, there are people and things that I can’t forgive in this world. And that I can honestly say after giving it some thought that I don’t feel bad about not being able to forgive them. Which is not to say that I wish them every ill imaginable upon them, and if I were in the very unlikely situation where they were dangling off a cliff and I was the only person who could pull them up, I’d pull them up. And that I could do that and still not forgive them I believe carries its own unique sense of morality: “I can’t forgive you or what you’ve done, but I don’t believe that you deserve to be left to die either. Not when I can save you, anyway.” 

But who knows, I could totally be talking out of my hat. 

That said, there are so many miseries that would be made less miserable if there were more forgiving people in the world. That despairing question cried into the void, when will the cycle finally be broken? I’m not sure that it can, but I think it can be broken down, and that’s starting with things like forgiveness. And to start with that, means understanding that forgiveness does not mean giving a free pass to people and their transgressions. More it should mean, “I am willing to give you a chance as a human being, because I am a human being too.” 

To forgive is to be willing to open one’s heart to someone who has done them wrong. Sometimes that’s not easy on a personal level, and, again, understandable. But on a larger scale, I think it’s an important thing to consider. While there can’t be this illusion that forgiveness works the same as a magic finger snap, I still believe it can still work as a good first step towards something better than what we have now. 

With recent events as they are, I’m taking a moment here to offer the below link as a way to encourage another small but meaningful way to make a difference. 

  Forgiveness I was never the most graceful of children. Not much has changed since then, but I'd say I was far more awkward in my formative years.

#a silent voice #absolution #anime #anime film #avatar #avatar the last airbender #azula #bloodbending #buddhist #bullying #dalai llama #fire lord #fire nation #firebending #forgiveness #hama #injustice #katara #kindness #kyo ani #kyoto ani #kyoto animation #ozai #peace #southern water tribe #spoilers #the western air temple #waterbending #zuko #zuko alone

[criticalotterstudies]

To Dworkin's admirers, she was a hot-rod combination of martyr and holy warrior, a survivor of sexual abuse who dared to speak truth to power. To her critics, she was a raging harpy who rose up out of nowhere, intent on taking away their porn and (some of the male ones vaguely suspected) their manhood. With law professor Catharine MacKinnon she wrote an ordinance (passed by the city of Indianapolis) that defined pornography as a kind of speech crime that violated the civil rights of all women -- the law was later overturned as unconstitutional. She testified before the infamous Meese Commission on pornography, forming what many saw as a dangerous alliance with the radical right. She was said to have written that all heterosexual intercourse was the equivalent of rape, though she denied that the passage in question amounted to such a claim.

Dworkin was a gifted, galvanizing communicator, both in print and as a public speaker. She was the Jonathan Edwards of radical feminism, capable of calling ecstatic souls to her cause, transforming her listeners and readers in ways many of them never forgot, even if they eventually came to disagree with her. (See Susie Bright's eloquent eulogy for an example.) She could inspire impromptu Take Back the Night marches and the instant formation of anti-violence groups, sincere efforts to do something to check the abuse that real women really do suffer every day, even if the response to it in this case was more ideological than practical.

But Dworkin was also a pioneer of a particular and pernicious type of rhetoric, one currently being used much more effectively by talk radio hosts and the extreme political right. Here's a classic example: During the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Dworkin quarreled with feminists who did not consider Bill Clinton's sexual encounters with the White House intern to be sufficiently exploitative to merit impeachment. A principled, reasonable argument could be made that Clinton's behavior was unethical, but Dworkin was never about reason. "What needs to be asked," she told a British journalist, "is, was the cigar lit?"

The statement (it seems too sensationalistic to be called a quip) is pure Dworkin: a ghoulishly creative melodramatic flourish that has little bearing on the matter at hand. Clinton may have acted sleazily, with a callous disregard for the emotional consequences of his actions on a young woman who was too naive and eager-to-please to grasp them herself, but no one suspects or has accused him of sadistically torturing her. Yet Dworkin was never able to enter into a conversation about morality unless the stakes were escalated to the stratosphere. The everyday realm where most of us commit our minor sins against, and injuries to, each other didn't really interest her. She only cared for the Grand Guignol.

Dworkin came out of and contributed to a subculture of feminism that specialized in this kind of irresponsible overstatement. A certain style developed: Throw out a handful of lurid, grisly anecdotes as if they amounted to an indictment of an entire class of people (usually men), who, if the worst of them can be shown to be guilty of such outrages, must all be equally responsible for them. The shock will soften your audience up enough to keep them from asking just how typical such atrocities really are and how widely condoned. Yes, they do happen, but like the handful of kidnapped little girls during the summer of 2002, such horrors can be made to seem epidemic when they're actually a rarity. Meanwhile, the much less exciting, if far more common, troubles of women who are simply trying to feed their children on inadequate wages, or get a decent job, fall by the wayside.

After this came the dodgy statistics, the one out of every four women said to have been raped in her lifetime, the alleged upsurge in domestic violence reports after the Super Bowl, and other mediagenic numbers. If these "facts" later turned out to be wobbly (or, in the case of the Super Bowl story, an outright hoax), many women's advocates rarely seemed to grasp the damage they'd done. After all, they were only calling attention to real, pervasive problems, which rape and domestic violence unquestionably are.

But here's the rub: If you get sloppy with the truth, then anyone who doesn't feel like dealing with those problems can happily devote himself to quibbling with your numbers instead. Does it really matter that much whether it's one women in four who will be raped, or one woman in 10? Or 20? It's still too many, and it needs to be stopped. Good luck getting that done while everyone's busy arguing about your stats.

The ravaged, bruised and mutilated women who parade through Dworkin's writings can seem as insubstantial as these numbers. As described by her, they're like the characters in an urban legend or campfire story, like the girl who finds the bloodied hook hanging from the car door handle. She tells their stories with an unseemly relish, and they're portrayed as completely and utterly helpless and abject, with no one to turn to but their equally brutalized yet indomitable champion. "Heartbreak" professes to be the testament of someone who has devoted herself to abused women, but the only three-dimensional human being who emerges from the book's Sturm und Drang is Dworkin herself. It's a mistake to equate a writer's work with how she lives her life, so let us hope that, in person, Dworkin managed to treat these women as more than rescue objects.

Perhaps in recent years Dworkin was pleased to see support for her own ideas in the theories of evolutionary psychologists who argue for the innate aggression of male sexuality, and even go so far as to suggest that men are born to rape. Probably not, though; she would have likely seen it as an excuse to go on raping. The very opposite of self-reflective, she never reconsidered her position on porn, so she surely never wondered what all the time and energy feminists spent on the "Sex Wars" of the 1980s might have accomplished if it had been redirected toward helping abused women gain the financial and emotional wherewithal to reclaim their lives. Her contribution to the discussion on most issues failed the ultimate litmus test: Even when she was right, she made the public conversation stupider. (Though some of her opponents, who could rarely resist ad hominem remarks about her appearance, surpassed her even in that.)

https://www.salon.com/2005/04/12/dworkin_3/

[misacarly2010engl-blog]

Blackface

(This is for my English 2010 class as we had to write about a controversy. I believe firmly that blackface is wrong. Just putting that out there.)

Carly Misa

Jacob L. Robertson

ENGL 2010

3 March 2019

Blackface

Blackface is a common practice used within makeup by using darker foundation products on the skin to appear as African American. It has been an issue for many decades, going all the way back to when segregation was still a norm in society. Numerous people of color find this act of portraying black people offensive, causing a backlash towards not only makeup artists but to anyone attempting blackface. Both arguments are talking over each other, giving off their opinions but not actually listening to what the other is saying. Due to miscommunication, nothing is being resolved. This introduces the concept that blackface is an ideograph, and because of this, it is causing a separation of cultures and creating a pause in progression for equality because of the different ideologies being used.

An ideograph is best explained as a symbol that represents a concept or idea. Blackface is known as an ideograph for racism. Everyone tends to have a different opinion when it comes to ideographs. This is called an ideology. Ideologies are used to describe a person’s attitude towards an ideograph, and why they agree or disagree. Ideologies bring people comfort because they are brought into real life and to real situations. A man by the name of Richard A. Koenigsberg goes on to explain Hitler’s theory and how he used his own ideology to testify amongst the Germans how Jews were “parasites”. In his final paragraph, he explains why ideologies came to existence.

Ideologies may be viewed as societally defined ideational structures that exist in order to permit latent dimensions of the psyche to become manifest in the external world. Ideologies perform psychic functions, allowing fundamental desires, fantasies, anxieties, and conflicts to be projected into reality. Once an ideology gains currency, then people act "in the name of" the ideology. Thought and action seem to be generated by a belief system existing outside the self. (Koenigsberg)

Richard continues to elaborate by saying that ideologies fulfill the needs of humans and the desires that they might seek. In this case, blackface is the topic of discussion and many people have opposing stances.

There are countless situations in which blackface has surfaced into the public. Some of these situations have unfortunately been taken to the extreme. In Phoenix, Arizona, there was an author who attended a restaurant for a holiday party. When he arrived, he decided to walk around the restaurant to look at all the photos that were hung on the walls. Rashaad, the author, had come across a photo of someone with what looked like dirt all over their face. Before taking in the history of the photo, Rashaad immediately complained to the restaurant’s manager to have the photo taken down. The manager then defended the photo by saying it was purely a coal miner after a hard day’s work. The miner’s face was covered in soot, but that still came off as offensive to Rashaad because he felt as if his voice was being silenced. He felt that his protest against racism was less important than a picture. Rashaad had even asked his friends what they had seen when he pointed to the photo, in which they responded it was a coal miner. They soon stepped further back to take in the bigger picture only to see the same blackface that Rashaad was witnessing. Rashaad goes onto explain that it wasn’t necessarily the photo that was offensive or the intent, but that the history of blackface was being hidden and so was his voice. His ideology comes from the historical background of racism found in blackface, and how even the simplest of acts can perform the most damage.

Rashaad isn’t the only person who has taken offense to something that was not intended for being racist. On Twitter, there was an outrage about non-people of color using charcoal face masks because it resembled what blackface used to look like in the 1950s during minstrel shows. Minstrel shows were used to make black people feel inferior by painting themselves completely black except for around the mouth to show the distinct differences between white and black people. Twitter users were fuming over the fact that they use this charcoal mask as a way to exfoliate and cleanse the skin while appearing to be doing blackface. One user by the name of Nicole Paula Oliver gives her opinion openly about these face masks. “Racism is so insidious that you can promote blackface for years under the guise of “pore mask” and it goes unchecked” (Oliver). The article then proceeds to display other users agreeing with Nicole, saying things like white women love doing blackface in charcoal masks and that blackface is now okay because it’s disguised as a charcoal mask.

Katherine Timpf, the writer of the article, disagrees entirely with what Nicole Oliver has to say. She discusses the natural benefits of charcoal and how it absorbs pollutants and toxins, cleansing the face of harmful bacteria. It can also unclog pores. All of these elements can only be found in charcoal. Katherine goes on further to discuss that women, or men, shouldn’t have to feel like a bad person for using a beauty product. She brings up the fact that blackface was used  with the intent to make black people feel inferior and that is not the same intent as the charcoal mask. Katherine finishes her article by stating that these fake cries of racism only put real racism into the shadows.

It may be easy to write off opinions like Oliver’s as just plain stupid, and in many ways, they are. The thing is, though, they’re worse than that — they can also be harmful. After all, crying racism where none exists makes people a lot less likely to listen to real accusations of racism. Given the fact that real racism does still very much exist in our society, that is a tragedy. Anyone who really cared about social justice issues would remember this and focus their energy on those real examples rather than doing things that make their entire cause look like a laughingstock. (Timpf)

Here is where the problem sets in. Rashaad and the restaurant couldn’t come to the same terms of taking down the photo because both saw the photo in a different light, or rather a different ideology. Rashaad had a historical background to play off of. His ancestors had to deal with segregation and slavery whereas someone who is white, like the manager of the restaurant, would not have that same type of understanding because their ancestors had a completely opposite history. This goes for Nicole and Katherine as well. Nicole sees obvious offense from the ads for the charcoal mask whereas Katherine only sees it as faking racism. Both of these ladies have very strong opinions but with opposing ideologies. How a person sees something can dictate what a problem is, or if it even is a problem to begin with. These ideologies continue to clash against each other, claiming that one is more right than the other. Blackface is a worldwide known ideograph with many ideologies which are incapable of a resolution, only because opposing sides are refusing to acknowledge other viewpoints. And for the most part, they aren’t willing to listen.

Communication is one of the most important things that keeps a society together. With the lack of it, society can become distraught and confused. When one person is communicating their reasoning to another and they aren’t understanding, the result can be frustrating to say the least. Communication is a tool used between humans that can not only create and develop lasting relationships, but to convey information or emotion. Someone can become defensive just by misunderstanding a situation because of not only embarrassment but not fully grasping a concept. This plays a huge part in why miscommunicating information is harmful to any community. David Grossman continues by saying that humans fear being ridiculed for not properly interpreting certain material. “The reason is pretty basic—people tend to avoid situations in which they will be seen as not knowing, not understanding or not having expertise. No one wants to look like they don’t know what to do. And just about everyone has a fear—whether based in reality or not—of being embarrassed or mocked” (Grossman). It is in human nature for us to become alarmed at the thought of being degraded because something slipped past the mind.

Blackface wouldn’t be such a big issue if there was a bridge for both sides to cross that would lead them each to an understanding. There is one side who explicitly refuses to acknowledge the circumstances in which people of color have faced in the past. It has left them scarred in more ways than one. And then there is the side where even the smallest of things can come off as racist if taken a different way, causing people of color to grow outraged at simply nothing. Where is the line drawn? These two sides are both so eager to get their point across as right by justifying their polar ideologies. There is zero communication and without communication there can be no solution.

Because there is no resolution set for blackface, this is causing a major pause in the progression for equality. People of color are arguing against the other side by stating the wrongs they have done in order to justify equal rights. In simplest terms, people of color are distancing themselves from other races by pointing fingers of those doing blackface, despite what the intentions were. They claim these people as racists and refuse to call them anything else. By doing this, their community is pushing back any source of progression by victimizing themselves against anything deemed as racist. Who makes the calls on what is and isn’t racist?

Now, there are real racists out there in this world. No one is saying there isn’t. There are countless attacks against black people, and some of those are using blackface on purpose. Of course they are also doing much worse things in the world as well. But, on the other hand, there are the others who are ignorant and are doing blackface for fun with the intent of showcasing black beauty. In these specific cases, they  neglect the history of black people, and push away the truth of the past while further defending themselves. Do you begin to see how these ideologies are going to continue to fight each other? With every tweet thrown at one user to the other, or endless comments on social media about who is right or wrong, it is only pausing the needed steps to continue in our journey towards equality.

We, as humans, claim to be wanted and welcomed into society for who we are. People are wanting to be proud of their race, their bodies, their accomplishments, their habits, and so forth. The biggest movement that has passed over social media like a wildfire is accepting and embracing the differences between humanity. It has become more than just a trend to love yourself for who you are and for what you have been given. But it’s in times like this with controversies such as blackface that both parties are pushing the very idea of acceptance away. Black people are proud of their culture, which they have every right to be. In doing so, they isolate their community to only themselves, yet still yearn for the welcoming of others. As for the people not seeing the harm in blackface, they only continue to defend their very actions as they justify the racism of history with an oblivious mindset. Again, this is how communication can be the golden ticket for a controversy such as this.

Being able to communicate issues such as blackface can help create a better awareness for the sake of society. Communication is more than just stating what someone believes in and waiting for a response, no, it is more complex. The ability to communicate respectfully, and take in information from opposing viewpoints, can “take a lifetime to master”. The number one rule when it comes to communication is listening. It is so important for voices to be heard, but there isn’t a point if no one is listening to it. Many would say it is a large step to transition from defensive to open-minded, however, doing so creates a portal to newer conversations. These conversations can lead to a resolution which can then lead into taking action on how to better address any form of controversy.

Not only would it lead to a resolution, but would also allow cultures and races to better educate the unawareness that they face everyday. Education is significant rather than fussing over someone on Twitter where not only the miscommunication begins, but where the lack of empathy takes place. People of color are now given an opportunity to face these issues in a different light and make their arguments seem more understandable. It doesn’t take much to correct someone the right way. It becomes more effective for the person to fix their mistake and also empathize with them because they now can comprehend their ideologies. Blackface, unfortunately, isn’t the only issue we face in America today that faces the same consequences. But it is one that has been influencing society quite a bit, and it needs to be taken care of immediately before something worse comes of it.

Blackface has been a matter in question for more than a couple of decades. It has been the face of racism and segregation since the early 1950s. This still occurs in real times, but for the majority of the incidences, the intent has been switched around. People of color refuse to acknowledge any reasoning behind this act due to their ideologies that have been impacted by their history. Non-people of color are caught facing anger towards their participation in blackface, and they only choose to guard their wrongness despite being corrected by the black community. If both parties could communicate on a better level and come to understand the terms of each side, then this could be a step towards better equality for society. Otherwise, it will only lead to the destruction of justness and create an unwanted halt for progression.

Works Cited

Koenigsberg, Richard A. “Why Do Ideologies Exist: The Psychological Function of Culture.” Why Do Ideologies Exist: The Psychological Function of Culture, www.libraryofsocialscience.com/essays/koenigsberg-why-do/.

Goldberg, Jonah. “When Feelings Don't Care about Facts.” National Review, National Review, 30 Jan. 2019, www.nationalreview.com/corner/when-feelings-dont-care-about-facts/.

Timpf, Katherine. “Charcoal Face Masks Deemed an Example of 'Racism' and 'Blackface'.” National Review, National Review, 13 Mar. 2019, www.nationalreview.com/2019/02/charcoal-face-masks-deemed-an-example-of-racism-and-blackface/.

Mahar, William John. “Behind the Burnt Cork Mask.”, University of Illinois Press

Accessed March 12, 2019

Grossman, David. “4 Main Problems That Come With Poor Communication.” Internal Communications Agency, 2016, www.yourthoughtpartner.com/blog/4-main-problems-that-come-with-poor-communication.

“10 Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills.” 10 Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills | Right Management, www.right.com/wps/wcm/connect/right-us-en/home/thoughtwire/categories/career-work/10-Ways-to-Improve-Your-Communication-Skills.

[monstersdownthepath]

Spiritual Spotlight: The Lost Prince

True Neutral Eldest of Forgotten Things, Sadness, and Solitude

Domains: Knowledge, Madness, Nobility, Repose. Subdomains: Ancestors, Insanity, Martyr, Memory.

The First World: Realm of the Fae, pg. 26~27

Obedience: Write down a memory on a piece of paper and then burn it. This must be a memory you’ve never used for this purpose or told anyone about. Benefit: You gain a +4 sacred bonus to AC and CMD against attacks of opportunity provoked by moving out of a threatened space.

This is one of the most open-ended Obediences in the game, and one of the easiest to complete. It doesn’t say how long the memory must be, what kind of memory it has to be, how large the paper must be, or if you, personally have to start the fire that burns it. For the sake of being fair to other deities, we’ll say it takes at the least 30 minutes of writing to fill a page with enough memories to satisfy the Lost Prince. The easiest way to think about it would be to view it as a diary--in fact, a diary is perfect. Fill a page with what you did the previous day, tear it out, and then burn it. Once a day, every day, until you need a new book.

The god of the boastful, the Lost Prince is not. A character that brags about their accomplishments will quickly find themselves without any memories to sacrifice to the melancholy fae, forcing them to keep on the down-low if they wish to have enough memories for tomorrow’s ritual. With that small downside aside, though, the Lost Prince holds the trophy for having one of the easiest Obediences to both perform and keep a secret. Who would question the nervous loner’s tendency to scribble in their diary? Who would bat an eyelid at a writer apparently growing frustrated with their stories before tearing them out and throwing them into a fire? The Lost Prince’s Obedience is also notable for being doable just about anywhere that’s not underwater or in an airless vacuum. No matter how deep and dank the dungeon, so long as you have access to ink, paper, and flame, you can perform your service to your god.

The benefit is also fantastic. It’s somewhat boring, but +4 AC when scooting your potentially-fragile butt out of some horror’s melee range is a (literal) godsend for just about anyone not wanting to take extra bruises in melee. It’s especially good when you consider that it’s strictly better than a feat that already exists--Mobility--and it can be taken by anyone without needing the fiddly Dex and Dodge prerequisites that Mobility does.   

As mentioned before, the Eldest do not possess the average Evangelist/Exalted/Sentinel spread, and use the Feysworn Prestige Class. The Feysworn Prestige Class can be entered at level 6; if taken as early as possible, you get the Boons at character level 8, 11, and 14 instead of 12, 16, and 20.

Boon 1: Knowledge of the Lost. Gain Identify 3/day, Locate Object 2/day, or Crushing Despair 1/day.

While Identify and Locate Object are both good spells when you’re on a quest for magical items, you’ll rarely need either of them more than once a day. That being said, have you recently found a forgotten hoard of treasure? Because if so, three Identifies will likely save your party a lot of pain (and cause the DM a little sadness) by sniffing curses out of the suspiciously attractive weapons, armor, and equipment. That being said, there’s also the potential to simply use Identify as a makeshift Detect Magic to spot magical traps or incoming enemy mages before the rest of the party sees them.

Locate Object is useful in situations where your party’s own belongings are stolen, though savvy enemies will likely place your goods in lead vaults, ruining the spell’s effectiveness. Against foes who don’t know about the spell, though, it makes tracking them trivial and turns you into something like the Terminator, carefully following behind them as you trace their every move.

Crushing Despair won’t win a combat by itself, but it can certainly get the odds more in your favor, especially with its lengthy duration (1 min/level). Since there’s no obvious evidence that you cast the spell yourself, hurling it into a crowded area to crush a whole crowd’s emotions at once during, say, an impassioned speech from someone you dislike, or during an enemy’s attempt to rally their troops, can do a lot more damage to morale than it would simply being cast in combat.

Boon 2: Forgetfulness. 3/day as a standard action, you may alter a target’s memory as if using Modify Memory. The casting time is always 1 standard action, regardless of how much or how little memory you alter. By expending 2 uses of this ability, you may alter up to 1 hour of the subject’s memory. By expending all three uses, you may alter up to 24 hours of the subject’s memory.

Now THIS is a power with some seriously sinister roleplaying potential! From 80 feet away (when you first get the power), in under six seconds you can simply rewrite the last five minutes of someone’s life if they fail the saving throw. Again, spell-likes have no obvious signs they’re being used, so someone having their brain scrambled has no idea where it’s coming from!

There are lots of uses for this power, both insidious and benign. Have you been barred from entering a plot location? No, you haven’t! Because the doorman clearly remembers you showing him your IDs saying you were allowed in! Embarrassed yourself in front of a party member? In front of an official you can’t afford to be embarrassed around? No, you didn’t! Because you’ve just erased whatever the awful moment was from their mind. Has an ally of yours experienced an event they wish they could forget? Well, you can help with that. Did you just kill everyone in a room and leave one of them alive? Well, thank god you just saved this person’s life from a horrible monster that slaughtered their comrades! Most combats are over in less than thirty seconds, after all.

And of course, note that you don’t have to erase their current memories. If you have an objective in mind, you can overwrite, edit, or erase VERY old memories in their heads, wiping out minutes from yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, or a decade ago. If the target is unwilling to have their mind tampered with, this power pairs well with any ability to delve into their thoughts, letting you sift through and cherrypick moments to edit... And this power becomes even scarier when you pour more juice into it, wiping out, editing, or blotting through hours or even a full day’s worth of memories at a time. Having the ability to steal an entire day from someone is a terrifying power to have, and easy to abuse once you’ve learned all the ins and outs of the ability... But if you’re Evil (or at least Chaotic), you probably don’t have to worry about that. Wipe away!

Boon 3: Absolute Solitude. Once per day, you may cast Imprisonment as a spell-like ability.

As I covered back with Shivaska, Imprisonment is an immensely powerful Save-or-Suck effect because only Freedom, another level 9 spell, can counter it. Anything else, even the otherwise all-solving Wish and Miracle, can’t undo it. Faesworn also get it at level 14, 2~3 levels before Wizards and Sorcerers can learn Freedom. The biggest downside to using this to instantly end an encounter is that someone who gets bopped below the earth takes all their gear with them. If the poor sap had an important item on them, trying to end an encounter quickly and easily may see you being forced to undertake a different questline entirely to undo the Imprisonment!

A handy spell, and extremely powerful, but one that must be used with caution. Erasing someone like this is tricky business, especially if they have interesting or important items on them. There are many, many ways to creatively combine this with Forgetfulness, though... Such as having the Evil Wizard Man’s #1 henchman suddenly recall that your party happens to be the Evil Wizard Man’s best friends, and that the Evil Wizard Man decided to teleport away to handle business on another world, beyond the reach of divination, never to be seen again and leaving his best friends in charge of everything.

It’s still scary how powerful overwriting someone’s memories can be, if you’re creative enough. It’s a hell of a get-out-of-jail free card, especially when the one person who resisted your spell mysteriously went missing...

You can read more about the Lost Prince here.

#Spiritual Spotlight #Neutrality Notes #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

[prettyblossoms]

Editor Credit: My twin, mothmanwrites. She is LITERALLY the best person and one of the most amazing writers I know. If you are interested in reading any of her stuff (if you haven’t already) then here is a link to her ao3!  She has an amazing series called Lovesong and its honestly my fav. 

Summary: A story in which Richie attempts to fix what he has been broken, but ends up doing more than he bargained for. 

Pairings: Reddie, Stenbrough, Benverly. Mike/OC

Word Count: 6.5 K

Warnings: angst with happy ending, one shot, prom, boys kissing and in love, strained friendships, drama, violence, jealous Richie, boys making out. 

Richie sighed as he watched the lights in the auditorium flicker between vibrant hues of color. The music was blaring and practically seeped out of the building onto the streets of Derry. After four years in high school, the Losers had finally made it to one of the nights that was supposed to make the struggle all worth it: prom. During late night sleepovers, they would all gather around in a circle and discuss what they wanted to happen.

Bill started first, "I just w-want prom to be our last h-hoorah before we start college. I am the happiest when I am with a-all of you."

Ben went next, staring at Beverly out of the corner of his eye. "I want to be with the girl of my dreams, wearing a red lily boutonniere just like the corsage I'll place on her wrist. I want to dance the night away and fall in love with her all over again."

Richie laughed, pulling Eddie closer to him as he raised his flask and took a massive swig. "Ohhhhh~! Ben wants to get laid and make a prom night dumpster baby!"

Eddie rolled his eyes and punched Richie's arm, eliciting a groan out of the older man. "First off, it wouldn't be a prom night dumpster baby if it's conceived the night of prom, idiot. Secondly, you're fucking disgusting. Now shut up, Trashmouth, it's Beverly's turn."

Beverly's cheeks burned crimson; part of her felt like Ben was talking about her, but they had fizzled out a long time ago. "I just want to be as beautiful as you guys all make me feel."

The boys all smiled halfheartedly. Now that they were older and more mature, they understood that her father had damaged her and made her feel like less of a woman. So, every opportunity that arose to make her feel special, they took without hesitation.

"I want to be free, like a bird in the sky. I just need one night where we don't have to worry or stress out about our social class in high school. Most of all, I…want to do something entirely outside of my comfort zone." Stan looked at Bill, but then averted his gaze to the floor before the other boy noticed.

"I kinda agree with Ben's answer," came from Mike, "I'd love to find a classy girl, good enough to bring home to my grandpa. He's getting old, so I'd like to show him that I’m going to be okay."

Stan rubbed circles on Mike's back reassuringly, and Eddie went next. His answer seemed rushed and rehearsed as if he had been practicing in the mirror. "By the time prom comes around, I'd like to be comfortable enough to be dating."

It was not news to all of them that Eddie's germaphobia conflicted badly with the dates he had been on in the past. Therefore, he had never had an actual girlfriend. Which also meant that he'd never even been kissed.  Sure, he had plenty of opportunities, but every time he started to see the finish line, a mile long list of why he shouldn't shot through his head.

"Aww, my spaghetti man, I'm sure you'll snag yourself a perfect little meatball!" Richie cooed and grabbed Eddie's cheeks, only to have his hands swatted away.

Eddie's face flushed and his brown eyes glistened with annoyance, "Don't touch my face, Richie. I have no idea where your filthy hands have been."

Richie smiled sinfully and went to tickle the boy's hips instead, "You should know exactly where they have been, Eds. Just ask your mother-"

The other six losers butted in simultaneously; "Beep Beep Richie."

Richie pouted and crossed his arms in defeat, taking the time to glare at each one of them.

"Y-your the last one, Richie. How do you want your prom to go?"

"Do you even have to ask, Big Bill? I'm going to get fucking laid! Hell, maybe even twice."

They all laughed and raised their vodka filled shot glasses up to the center, making a toast; it was a silent promise that they would all be united at prom, just as they had been in the sewers, years ago. Eddie chugged down his drink, a visible grimace on his face.

And it would have all been worth it, had the Losers Club not dissolved less than four months ago. After Richie suddenly up and left the group without so much as an explanation, everything just fell apart. One by one, they stopped meeting at the Quarry until only Bill remained. They all moved on with their lives, made new friends, and focused strictly on their own aspirations. Stan had tried to pull everyone back together on numerous occasions, but Richie never budged.

Not because Richie didn't love or miss the Losers. Hell, it was the exact opposite; he loved them all so much that he yearned to reach out to them again. After all, they were the only sunlight he had in his miserable life. But he knew deep down inside of him that he didn't deserve them, or anything, for that matter. Not after he single handedly crushed Eddie like a paper mache doll on that cold winter night.

Richie and Eddie were sprawled out on his bed, kissing like their lives depended on it. Richie was underneath Eddie, trailing his fingertips up and down the younger man's back as a means of silent encouragement. Eddie's arms wrapped around Richie's neck while his hands tangled into Richie's dark locks, roughly tugging and eliciting a moan out of the other. Richie growled low in his throat, and he grabbed onto Eddie's hips and switched their positions so he that was on top. He smirked down at Eddie, who pouted back up at him.

For weeks now they had fallen into the same routine of coming to Eddie's house and making out on his bed every day after school. Neither one of them even remembered how it started, but they didn't do anything to stop it either. Richie had so much pent up sexual frustration that he welcomed Eddie's advances like a starving man. The asthmatic had grown into a handsome man with a beautiful face, defined jawline, and sparkling brown eyes that could go from sweet to challenging in an instant. Richie always thought of Eddie as a fire; a powerhouse of passion, with emotions that were uncontainable. In the back part of Richie's head, he was grateful that Eddie was letting him this close. After all, every fire could be put out.

For Eddie, though, it was an entirely different story. For a long time now he knew that him being gay was a huge possibility. After all, he was never attracted to a woman in all of his seventeen years of life. Sure, they were pretty, and they even smelled nice, but there was a magnetic force field pulling him towards the smell of old spice and cigarettes instead. Ever since he and Richie were kids they had been closer than most friends should be. As they hit puberty, Eddie's eyes lingered on Richie for far too long, taking in all of the features that he used to take for granted. When they were together, Eddie felt a mixture of emotions, like he could either conquer any obstacle or crumble to pieces. Richie was like ice; he lacked the ability to show his true emotions, hiding instead behind a happy facade. Similar to that element, anyone with eyes could see right through its transparency. At least, Eddie could. Especially on nights where Richie would sneak into his window, shattering the minute Eddie’s arms enclosed him. And it was on a night like that when he realized that deep within the depths of his heart, he loved Richie Tozier.

By the time Richie and Eddie separated from the kiss, Eddie was panting heavily in a desperate attempt to fill his lungs with oxygen. But Richie wasn't done, and his lips grazed Eddie's chin. Subconsciously, Eddie turned his head, which gave Richie enough access to attack the sensitive skin on his neck.

Eddie's head became heavy and he rolled it back into the pillow, biting his bottom lip to prevent an embarrassing moan from surfacing. Eddie knew Richie heard it anyway when he felt Richie's lips against his skin in a smug smirk.

Richie's hands ghosted down Eddie's body until they reached his hips. Slowly, he pushed his hands under Eddie's shirt and began to rub circles on the sensitive skin there. Upon hearing Eddie's breath hitch in his throat, he began to suck and nip at the skin on his neck, leaving an array of purple bruises behind.

"F-fuck, R-Richie."

"What do you want, Eds?" Richie asked against his neck, placing a kiss on the skin right behind his ear.

Eddie shivered at his ministrations as the possibilities swam through his brain. He always dreamed of being under Richie, in a stage of euphoria as their bodies intertwined. At this very moment, he could easily bring the fantasy to fruition. And he almost did, until he realized that it would be more than just a sexual encounter- at least, for him. No matter how much he wanted Richie, there was something that he needed even more than even that.

"What are we, Rich?" Eddie asked so quietly that Richie wouldn't have heard had he not been so close to Eddie's neck.

Richie immediately stiffened as a lump got caught in his throat. His body recoiled and he moved to reposition himself on the bed, trying to look at anything but Eddie's face. Fuck, he had been so preoccupied with satisfying his libido that he didn't stop and realize that every action has a consequence. And maybe, just maybe, it would have been okay had the person who caused his hard on not been his best friend.

Eddie felt his eyes stinging as tears clouded his vision. Richie wouldn't even look his way, but Eddie was undeterred. "What are we, Richie?" His voice cracked, threatening to shatter at any moment.

Richie stared at the poster on his wall, wanting to sink into non- existence. "We’re best friends, Eddie. Nothing more, nothing less."

Eddie's face pinched, and he desperately wiped away the moisture running down his cheeks, "W-what if I said I didn't want that anymore?" He sobbed.

Richie's head snapped to look at Eddie so abruptly that his neck could have cracked. Dread flooded his features and his words came out like potent venom. "What the hell are you talking about, Eds? You don’t want to be friends anymore?"

Eddie's heart pounded harshly in his chest, but he continued. "You have it all wrong, Rich." He paused, mustering up the courage to look into Richie's eyes, almost pleading for acceptance. "I-I want to be so much more."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Eds." Richie tried changing the subject, "You're just-"

Eddie cut him off, "-In love. With you. It's always been you, Richie."

Richie stopped breathing as Eddie's words reached his eardrums. His stomach churned uneasily as he felt bile rise in his throat. All he could do was shake his head in disbelief as his fists closed tightly. Richie Tozier was good at many things, but falling in love-- with a man at that, had never been on his agenda. Now he was staring at the single most important person in his whole world, watching tears out of Eddie's wide doe eyes.  

Richie saw how much emotion those eyes held; there was so much sadness and uncertainty, but one radiated through and reigned supreme. Unconditional love.

Love for him.

Richie didn't know which one hurt most; the thought of giving in to his emotions or seeing Eddie so torn up, over him of all things. Regardless of how he felt, his instincts took over. And they told him to flee. "I'm sorry, Eddie. I have to go."

Out of habit, the unruly curly-haired teen reached for a cigarette out of his back pants pocket, only to feel nothing but the shape of his own ass. Fuck. He must have accidentally left them in his jeans pocket at home, after all, he only just gotten dressed ten minutes ago. Initially, he wasn't going to come to prom, but he couldn't keep a beautiful redhead with dazzling blue eyes off of his mind.  He grasped onto the plastic container in his hand tightly as more people passed by him, giving him confused stares.

Richie blushed in partial embarrassment, realizing that he must have looked like an idiot just standing there with his hand in his back pocket, watching as flocks of students poured into the building.

With a defeated groan, he walked up the stairs and entered the building. He didn't take the time to appreciate the decorations, theme, or even the refreshments. When he finally found what he was looking for, he faltered; Ben was sitting alone, next to all of the other boys without dates, twiddling his thumbs. His tux was a cream color and in his chest pocket, there was a red lily boutonniere. The brunette’s shoulders were slumped and his head hung low in defeat. Without wasting any time, Richie walked over and plopped down on the empty seat next to him reaching over one of his long arms to enclose Ben in a side hug.

Ben's eyebrows furrowed and his face pinched, "Richie?" He whispered, "What do you want?"

"Damn, you're breaking my heart, Haystack. Where's my hello?” His voice shifted into one of his best British accents, “It's been far too long ."

Ben huffed out a breath of air, "Yeah, says the one who left us. What are you doing here?"

Richie felt like he was kicked in the gut, but he nodded his head anyway. "I deserve that. Look, I had my reasons. I don't expect you to understand, or forgive me or anything. And, to answer your question, I’m obviously here to get laid."

Ben smiled at that, reminiscing on the fond memory of the good old days. After a few moments, his eyes widened as he became increasingly confused. "Why are you over here then? I'm sure you'd prefer to go to the other side of the room…Y’know, with the girls?"

Richie chuckled and was about to answer when Ben's body stiffened. His mouth hung wide open and his brown eyes glistened with affection. Richie followed his gaze and smiled upon seeing Beverly. She wore a tight-fitting white dress that perfectly framed her curves. She had never been fond of jewelry, but tonight she was wearing a vintage pearl necklace. Her hair was partially up while the rest of it was down, brushing down her shoulders. Her crystal orbs only scanned the room for a few moments before slowly lowering to the ground. Reluctantly, she started to walk towards the single female's section.

Richie watched as all the admiration evaporated from Ben's eyes and he sank back into his chair. Ben stared down at his hands and fumbled with them in his lap. Richie couldn't help but feel for him and, slowly, he placed the plastic container in Ben's open hands.

Ben's face glazed with shock as he looked to Richie. "Is this-?"

"Yeah, a red lily corsage. You should know; you're wearing the other half of it." Richie patted Ben's chest.

"I know what it is...but why?"

Richie smiled wholeheartedly, "Go get the girl of your dreams, Haystack. Make her realize just how beautiful she is." He paused, thinking of the asthmatic as his lips narrowed into a straight line. "Don't make the same mistakes I have."

Ben's lips stretched into a giant smile and tears welled up in his eyes. He stood up with a newfound confidence and pulled the taller male in for a hug. "Thank you, Richie."

Richie slapped his back as he whispered in the other man’s ear, "Go make your prom night dumpster baby, Benny."

Ben lightly pushed the other man away from him and laughed, "Go get laid, Tozier."

"I'm trying!"

Richie watched as the poet gravitated towards the crow of single ladies, taking considerable strides. All of the girls parted ways making room for Ben, and Richie was silently cheering. Even though he couldn’t hear anything, he stared at them with anticipation. Ben didn’t stop walking until he was face to face with Beverly.

“Hey, Beverly.” Ben beamed, unable to control his happiness as their eyes met.

Ben didn’t know it, but Beverly's own emotions overcame her. Without exchanging any words, she jumped out of her seat and threw her arms over him.

“Bev?” Ben asked as his face flushed red and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“I’ve missed you, Ben. So much.”

Ben stood, flabbergasted, and his eyes darted to Richie. Richie made inappropriate hand motions at him, which definitely did not help. He took a deep breath, and hugged her tightly. The smell of her cinnamon shampoo was all he needed for everything to come flowing back. “You know, even after all of these years, you’re hair is winter fire.” Beverly pulled away at his words and he almost flinched but instead focused on fumbling the plastic container open.

Shakily, Ben brought the corsage out of the plastic container and stared at Bev with uncertainty.

Beverly's face was lit up, and her eyes glistened with fresh tears. “My heart burns there too.”

Without any rush, they made their way towards the dance floor. Ben placed his arms around her waist, and Beverly set her arms around his neck, maneuvering her head so that she was looking directly at Richie. The older teen visibly grimaced at the fierceness in those eyes. With Beverly, the possible punishments for his hasty departure were endless. She stared at him, seemingly lost in thought. Richie’s eyebrows pinched together as he spared her a half smile and waved cautiously. Beverly smirked in response, but the softness in her eyes said it all.

He was forgiven.

Richie got off the chair and stretched his long limbs, shoving his hands into the pockets of his tuxedo. As he began to walk towards the exit when he noticed Stan and Mike at the punch bowl. Mike rubbed Stan’s shoulders reassuringly, which led Richie to believe that Mike was giving him a pep talk. Stan only nodded absently, his eyes staring off in the distance.

A curvy woman interrupted them, tapping Mike on the shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, kissing her cheek gently. Stan smiled at the pair and put out his hand to introduce himself, but she ignored it and hugged him tightly instead. Richie watched as the three talked for a while, all enjoying each others’ company. When a slow song came on, Mike looked to his date, and she looked back at him and grinned. They appeared to be perfectly in sync as they gave each other a look that only the other understood- or so they thought.

Richie knew Mike like the back of his hand. The man was selfless and kind. Richie used to tease Mike that he was sweeter than honey, but in his defense, it was true. Mike loved without any restraint and always looked out for the good of others around him. As Richie watched Mike’s date’s mannerisms, he knew they were silently agreeing not to leave Stan alone on prom night. A smile radiated Richie’s face, feeling genuine happiness for Mike. He had found a girl just as great as himself; somebody that would go to the end of the earth for the ones she loves. His smile faltered as he watched Stan politely dismiss them, pointing his finger towards the dance floor. Reluctantly, the pair left and began to dance to a slow song.

As always, Stan's outfit was entirely thought out and executed without a flaw. He wore a red tuxedo, with a white button-up shirt and black slacks. Instead of a boutonniere, he had a white broach of a dove pinned to his tuxedo's pocket. His curls were tamer than Richie’s, and he must have just had a haircut because they weren’t as long as he remembered them to be. It had to be a crime that he hadn’t been there to tease Stan afterward. He wanted to walk away so badly, but he could only stare at Stan who looked frantically around the room.

Suddenly, Stan's words resonated through Richie's ears, "I want to do something entirely outside of my comfort zone."

"Goddamnit," Richie moaned to himself as he walked over to the refreshment table.

Stan's face contorted into a scowl upon seeing Richie. They had been best friends and Richie had dropped everyone with not even as much as a syllable. It was infuriating.

Richie, with as much grace as a car accident, wrapped his arm around the other. "Hey, Stan the man! Looking goood~! " He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Stan elbowed Richie in the hip and then folded his arms across his chest, glaring, "If only I could say the same. You look like you got dressed in five minutes."

"It was ten minutes, actually, Stan, didn't your mother teach you that it was rude to assume?" Richie retorted quickly.

"Why am I not surprised," Stan stated bluntly becoming more increasingly annoyed by the second. "What do you want? Can't you see that I am busy?"

Richie looked at him in disbelief. He knew for a fact that Stan was anything but busy. However, Richie could play that game. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your hot date, Stan." He laughed, and caressed the refreshment table’s surface.

Stan's lips pursed and he began to tap his foot impatiently as he poured himself some punch from the bowl. "Just spit it out, Richie!"

Richie could feel that Stan was about to walk away, so he quickly got to the point, "Why don't you go ask Bill to dance with you?".

"W-what?" Stan gasped, squeezing the plastic cup too hard in causing the liquid to spill out all over the floor.

"I didn't ask you to turn into Bill, Stan. What I said was why don't you go ask Bill to dance with you?"

"I heard you the first time. But, you've got to be kidding! You completely stop talking to everyone and now you're over here trying to give me love advice? You have some fucking nerve."  

Richie shrugged and rubbed a hand through his hair, "Like I told Haystack, I know I've made some mistakes... but I just couldn't leave without telling you to fulfill that promise you made to yourself. Don't you remember? You wanted to do something daring. I'd say going after the guy you've been crushing on for years would be a good start."

Stan's jaw clenched as his face became void of emotion. He had known that Richie had seen through him all of those years ago, staring at Bill, but he would have never expected Richie to be the one encouraging him to go for it. Stan exhaled deeply, "What do I do if he says no?"

"He is not going to say no. Have you looked at yourself today?”

Stan's frown curved a bit before a small smile broke out on his face, but he was still doubtful. “What do I do when that doesn’t work?”

“I’ll kick his ass and yours too if you don’t go over there right now!” Richie gave him a reassuring shove.

Stan shifted his attention back to Richie right as the entrance of the gymnasium swung open. Stan’s face softened as one of his eyebrows raised. “Why don’t you follow your own advice, Tozier?”

Richie wanted to ask Stan what he meant, but his mind became frigid and his body shut down. He did not like the tone of Stan’s voice. No, he didn’t like it one bit. An adorable laugh pierced the atmosphere and traveled straight into his cerebellum, confirming his suspicions.

Fuck.

Reluctantly, he turned around and the rest of the world ceased to exist. An array of fireworks went off in his head, like in those sappy love movies he hated, and it may have been pushing it, but Richie could have sworn an angel gained its wings.

The man who he had spent countless sleepless nights over, who he had yearned to hold for the past four months was standing only a few feet away from him. Richie's eyes couldn't get any wider behind his coke-bottled glasses as they looked Eddie's body up and down, taking him in as if he was a much-needed glass of water. Similar to his own, Eddie wore a basic black tuxedo, unbuttoned to reveal a white button-up shirt. A black bow tie with pink floral print encircled his neck, matched perfectly with the form-fitting slacks that exposed his dainty ankles. Eddie's hair was parted to the side effortlessly, but a few stray locks rebelled, falling over his forehead. The corners of Richie's mouth began to upturn, and unshed tears fogged his vision when the realization finally dawned on him.

He had made the worst mistake of his life that fateful day in December when he walked away. He didn't know it then, but he left behind everything he’d ever wanted.  Eddie was the one who was always there, supporting him and seeing him through the good and the bad times. He inspired Richie to overcome his obstacles, encouraging him to find a dream and hold onto it. Eddie gave Richie self-worth, something his parents stole from him at such a young age with every sip of alcohol they drank and every cruel blow they placed on his body. Above all else, Eddie made sure that he knew that he was loved, no matter what Richie did. Richie could never do any wrong.

They were best friends with so much potential to be more, but Richie had ruined that. Inadvertently, his legs began to carry him towards Eddie; there were so many things that he needed to say. All of it stopped, his body becoming heavier as he watched a tall man approaching Eddie, holding out his hand to dance. Richie froze in place, staring intently at the small smile that graced Eddie's face as he accepted the other man's hand. Richie's fists clenched painfully at his sides as he watched the pair move onto the dance floor.  

An upbeat pop song came on and both men began swaying to the music. Richie's eyes were glued on Eddie, watching as he turned his body in tune with the music, not missing a beat. Eddie was full on laughing now as the other guy gyrated around, sliding his shoes against the smooth flooring. Richie felt his stomach bubbling with anger and jealousy. He used to be able to make Eddie laugh like that. But now this guy--

Richie's heart fell into his stomach, liquefying when the man twirled Eddie around the dance floor. His face twisted into a scowl and his eyes were blazing with rage. Eddie had always been his best friend. His confidant. His everything. And now he was with somebody else, doing all the things he should have been doing.

He wanted to be happy for Eddie. Out of everyone he knew, Eddie was the most deserving of a fairytale ending. He had endured hell with his mother. But, like a phoenix, he rose from the ashes; overcoming his sexuality, fear of germs, and his demons. He did so gracefully, with a smile on his face, all while supporting all of the other Losers during their most difficult times. It was finally Eddie's turn; but Richie was too blinded by the rage fueling his body to consider how Eddie felt.

Watching the other man placing his dirty hands on Eddie's hips, pulling them closer as he whispered into the hypochondriac's ear was the final straw for Richie, who was practically boiling with envy. He pushed through the crowd of dancing students, getting hit a couple of times by flailing limbs, and even eliciting a few curse words, but he ignored all of it. All he could concentrate on was biting his bottom lip, swallowing all of the foul things he needed to say.

Once he was within arms distance of the two, he tapped on the man's shoulder roughly, making sure not to look at the disappointment etched on Eddie's face. His voice was laced with venom as he spoke, "Hey. No one wants to see that shit. Keep it PG, alright?"

"Who are you? The dance committee or something?" The guy retorted, brushing Richie off. He turned to look at Eddie, "So, what do you say? Wanna go out with me?" He pushed his hands up Eddie's hips going up the back of his tuxedo to trace circles on his back.

Richie did a double take, staring at the guy as if he grew two heads. This motherfucker had some nerve ignoring him, but to touch Eddie right in front of him? Oh, he had no idea what demons he had just unleashed.

Richie grabbed his upper arm and shoved him as hard as he could, forcing him to fall back away from Eddie. "Maybe I am. Wanna do something about it?" Richie's face hardened, a muscle in his jaw twitching.

The other man aggressively shoved Richie into the crowd, drawing all of the attention in the room to become directed on the three of them. Richie gave the man no time to think before he slammed his fist directly into his face, first one, and then relentlessly. The sound of his punches echoed off of the walls and mixed with Eddie's screams. Richie didn't pay his pleas any heed. No, Eddie, he wouldn’t stop. Not until Richie saw this dude’s face beaten to a bloody pulp. Richie kept hitting until he felt the cartilage in the man's nose shift at an odd angle.

Eddie grabbed onto the back of Richie's tuxedo frantically, "Richie! Richie! Get the fuck off of him! What’s wrong with you?"

Somehow, hearing the hurt in Eddie's voice made him even more frustrated. He looked back down at the man's beaten face, thinking of everything he might have already done with Eddie and his jealousy increased. "Fuck you! Fuck you!" Richie said through gritted teeth as he began punching the man again, unleashing all of his pent-up negative energy from the last four months.

“R-R-Ritchie! Stop!” Bill shouted, hauling him off of Eddie’s date.

Richie was frenzied, but Bill’s strong arms tightened around him, hindering his movements. When the beaten man lifted his head, pride and satisfaction welled up throughout Richie’s being. Blood from the man’s nose stained his shirt and his eye was almost swollen shut. Richie cackled obnoxiously as he began to taunt the male, flipping him off with both hands.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Richie!?” Eddie screamed over the music.

All of a sudden the music stopped and teachers, along with security guards, were swarming into the gymnasium. The principal, Mr. Miller, ran over and helped the injured male off of the floor, “What is going on here?”

“Well, you see here, I decided to rearrange this guy’s face because--”

Stan cut him off, “Beep Beep Richie!”  

"Tozier, Kaspbrak, Uris, and Denbrough, Leave the premises immediately!" The principal shouted furiously. Bill loosened his hold on Richie, who wiggled out of Bill’s arms a few moments later.

"No! Please. Mr. Miller, Bill and Stan had nothing to do with this-"

“Is that true, boys?” Mr. Miller asked.

Stan nodded his head in agreement with Eddie, while Bill took advantage of the principal’s distraction, “E-Eddie, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to leave-”

“Yeah, I do, Bill. Stay here with the rest of the Losers and enjoy prom, okay? Dance with Stan. He really likes you.” Eddie’s voice came out as a whisper.

Bill blushed as he looked over to Stan, who was arguing with the principal. Mr. Miller motioned for Stan to shut up before turning to Bill, “Mr. Denbrough, is it true? You and Stanley had nothing to do with this.”

Bill looked at Eddie once again for confirmation. Eddie nodded his head slowly. “Y-Yeah. It’s true.”

“Okay. Escort the other two out.”

A security guard caught Eddie off guard, grabbing his wrist tightly. "Hey! Let go of me. If you bruise me, not even god will be able to protect you!"

Richie pushed the security guard preoccupied with Eddie, his anger coming back in vast quantities. “Hey! Let go of him-” Another security guard grabbed him harshly. “Whoa! Can you be less rough? You didn’t even buy me dinner first! I like to be wined and dined before-”

“Shut the fuck up, Richie!” Eddie snarled.

Richie became limp and complied with the security guard who was carrying him out. Meanwhile, Eddie pushed against his captor so much that they were practically dragging him out. The doors opened and the cold air hit their skin as they were thrown out onto the side of the building.

They both heard the door being slammed and locked behind them. Eddie shuddered as tears slipped past his eyes.

"Are you fucking serious, Richie!?" Eddie got into Richie’s face, almost spitting on him in his rage. "What the fuck was that back there? Huh!?"

"Look, I'm sorry, Eds."

"NO! Don't you dare!" Eddie screamed, pounding his fists against Richie's chest hard enough to bruise. "When you walked out on me you lost the right to call me that!" Richie looked down at him but did nothing to prevent Eddie's movements. "Why! Why did you pull this shit, huh!?" Eddie was on the verge of hyperventilating, gasping for air.

Richie reached into his pocket to grab the spare aspirator he carried, but Eddie was faster and got his inhaler first. "I can't change what I did. I'll go explain to the teachers that it was all my fault so you can go back and dance with your boyfriend ."

After taking a couple of hits, Eddie’s breath evened out, but his heart didn't. "So you do this just to spite me? Because you thought I had a boyfriend? That is what it is, isn't it? You don't want me to be happy. Not with you, or with anyone else!"

"No. You have it all wrong. I don't know why I did it, Eddie," Richie lied. He sighed deeply. "I'm sorry for destroying your night."

"You didn't destroy anything!" Richie looked at Eddie in confusion just as the boy began crying again, his body wracked with sobs. "You don't get to have this power over me! Not anymore, R-Richie! I am going to be happy because I deserve to be." Eddie pinched his upper nose, trying to force back the tears. "I just need some closure. I need to know why you left me, Richie. Please. You at least owe me that!"

Eddie's words hit Richie like a ton of bricks. This breakdown wasn't because of what happened right now; it was about how their friendship had ended months prior. He leaned against the wall and covered his face with his hands. Richie Tozier was never good at explaining his emotions, so he just stood there silently.

"I've never been good enough. That's what it comes down to, huh? You know deep down that you can find someone way better than me," Eddie broke the silence.

Richie winced at the melancholy tone of Eddie's voice. No. No. No! This was the opposite of what he wanted. He stared at Eddie's face, taking in just how swollen and scarlet his cheeks were from crying. Richie had caused Eddie pain. Again. Fuck, he hated himself. Eddie turned around with his head hung low in shame, not wanting any of Richie's pity.

Richie's heart beat faster when Eddie turned around and began to walk away. Everything moved in slow motion, but his thoughts were forming rapidly. He had already lost Eddie once before, realized his feelings when it was too late, and now it was going to happen for a second time. His mouth felt like cotton, and he could feel the heat burning his face as the gears in his head worked on overdrive.

Tonight he had helped Ben, Beverly, Stan, and Bill come into the arms of the ones they loved. Yet, he still had trouble letting go. To love someone in that way meant that they could end up hating each other, just like his parents. Or they could end up permanently separated between life and death, just like Eddie's. Richie didn't want that because that meant he was vulnerable and exposed. Everyone would know his weakness and could exploit it, given a chance.

But Eddie was going to walk away forever. None of that would matter if that happened, because he and Eddie would have no story to tell. He would fall in his mother's footsteps and become an alcoholic, because without Eddie, why would life be worth living?

Maybe loving Eddie made him stronger.

"Eddie!"  Richie's voice sounded foreign to him, but Eddie turned around, only a few feet away from Richie. "There is no one in this world better for me than you. It's always been you too, Eds!"

Suddenly their bodies were drawn together. Who had moved first was not clear, but it didn't matter. Their lips were finally clashing together. They ignored the initial awkwardness of their noses smacking together and continued kissing. Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie's neck, deepening the passionate kiss between them.

Richie's mind was going haywire; one second they were fighting with each other, and the next he was ravaging Eddie up against the wall of the gymnasium, the smell of his cologne and shampoo fueling the fire burning in his belly.

Richie brushed his tongue against Eddie's bottom lip, earning him a shocked groan, but he had no time to ask if there was something wrong. He forced his way into the man's mouth and began to overtake him, immediately tasting minty toothpaste. When he felt Eddie respond to him and their tongues met, Richie became a starving man. He wrapped his arms around Eddie tightly and began to haul him up.

Eddie's desire to be closer to Richie gave him enough confidence to wrap his strong legs around the older male's waist as Richie picked him up. He tightened his current position, making him appear to be bear hugging Richie, their lips still connected as their tongues battled for dominance.

Richie's hands rubbed the back of Eddie's thighs and trailed up his body to take their rightful place on his hips. He pulled away from Eddie’s mouth, trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, I just couldn't-"

Eddie brought his finger up to Richie's lips and shushed him. Once he was sure Richie was going to stay quiet, he placed his forehead against Richie's gently, looking deeply into his eyes. "I love you, Richie Tozier."

Richie grinned fondly taking the opportunity to kiss Eddie's button nose. "I love you too, Eddie Kaspbrak. Always have, always will." His confession came out curt and sweet, but Richie wouldn't be Richie without throwing in a joke. "Does this mean I’m gonna get laid?" He laughed.

Eddie arched his eyebrows as he leaned over to whisper in Richie's ear, "That depends. Take me home and find out, Trashmouth."

#Richie Tozier #Eddie Kaspbrak #Reddie #beverly marsh #stan uris #bill denbrough #stenbrough #benverly #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #M for Mature #a reddie fanficion #Richie x Eddie #Eddie x Richie #It 2017 #fanfiction

[thedeanrogers]

Well Let Me Tell You That There's Nothing Wrong, It's Just That Ones Like Us Will Never Belong

Boundaries have always been something I have had problems with enforcing. Either because I’m incredibly naïve or gullible, at times. I have allowed people to manipulate me. I have allowed people to subvert my resolve. I have allowed people to overpower their way into dictating to me how I should act, or how I should think.

For many years, I thought it had more to do with believing in the good in people. And looking for that. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that people are inherently selfish egoists. Only interested in using to their own, be it people, things, whatever. Once that purpose has been fulfilled, that object or person gets discarded. Having ultimately served whatever purpose they were pulled for. Knowing that now, I fight this daily. I fight with myself to retain control of my life. To retain control of my actions. To retain control of my emotions. What’s even worse is that it is amplified, as it pertains to my children.

When I was in my teens and 20s, I floated between groups. I was constantly in motion. There was a very large part of my psyche and ego that feared what would happen if people were able to see how damaged I was. I wasn’t sure what would happen, were my peers to see me as who I was, and not who I portrayed myself as being. It was here that I, sort of, perfected the ability to roleplay. I could give different groups and different people specific facets of myself. I could keep them held at a distance, and I could control how much of who I was they got to see. It became a survival mechanism. Something that became so deeply ingrained in who I am, that it is something that I have adapted as part of my sense of self. I tend to joke about how I am a man of many hats, but there’s a deep truth under the statement. Each role has a hat assigned. Dad. Employee. Friend. Lover. Asshole. Writer. And so on. As I’ve gotten older and learned more about myself and learned about how I process the world around me, I’ve learned how to transition between those hats more fluidly. I’ve integrated them into who I am, and I’ve learned to accept that those hats correspond to the needs of the world, as it exists outside of my body and my mind.

Unfortunately, this is also a cause for tension. There are people in my life who feel that this sort of, situationally appropriate, role-transitioning is indicative of my being psychotic. Or that I’m sociopathic. Because I don’t conform to their attempts to compartmentalize me. I don’t stay static. I am constantly evolving and growing and learning. I am constantly implementing concepts learned from the lessons. Constantly looking for ways to improve. Constantly looking for a better way. And because I do not feel it imperative to remain in stasis. Maybe this has to do with my constant chasing of enlightenment. My pursuit of transcendence. My struggle to move into something greater than myself. I have come to think that the fact that I am looking for something greater than myself, and choosing not to rest on my laurels, has created a resentment.

How does that relate to boundaries? The hostility toward me plays out in scattershot attacks, usually the same tired, cliched points of attack. The same rhetoric used against me that doesn’t reflect whom I currently am. And does not reflect whom I intend to be in the future. And when I choose to reinforce the boundary, it creates further hostility. It creates further tension. And it plays out in a violent mishmash of flying words, vitriol, and psychosis. The realisation that my life is not a mirror, was important. I do not reflect anything. I am not the individual whom people project onto me. And I choose not to let that project define my sense of self. I choose not to accept it when people adopt the toxic projections onto me as gospel. Likewise, I do my best not to accept how people are characterized to me. I let their own decisions define their character to me. And fuck if that level of mental detachment isn’t difficult. Because sometimes the ego and the emotions want to kneejerk all over the place and create unnecessary bullshit. Sometimes the moment carries too much power, and I allow myself to take the bait. I’m human. I’m flawed. I haven’t mastered the art of putting into execution, the lesson of knowing and understanding that what someone says about me isn’t indicative of me. It is indicative of their perception of me, and their perception of themselves. Much in the way that my perception of other people may not, always, reflect who they are.

When I was younger, I feared scrutiny. I feared examination. I feared confrontation with those less than perfect sides of myself. The level of my own insecurity dictated how easily I was malleable. And now that I have lived and experienced quite a bit; I’ve come to understand that there are people who never really step out of that mentality. They surround themselves in a cushion of denials and self-delusions, and they get aggressive when their self-image is questioned or perceived to be attacked. They need those untruths to be “true”, otherwise their sense of self is shattered. While I don’t directly remember feeling this to this level, I was more afraid of being exposed for being a sham.

Another big lesson I’ve learned about boundaries is how it relates to control. Those who feel like they are out of control, regularly disregard boundaries. They regularly disregard anything which will take control out of their hands. A great Instagram page, The Holistic Psychologist, posted something about this which struck me, “You’re crazy to everyone who can’t manipulate you.” And when I thought about it, it struck me as true. Almost blindingly so. And it’s something I carry with me.

Having said all of that, the place where those boundaries gets weird, is how it relates to my children. I am expected to trust their mothers are acting in good faith, and doing right by the kids, even though the very concept of it repulses me. I am expected to believe that these two women have the best interest of my children in mind; when all demonstrative action I see out of them indicates a level of self-centeredness that leads me to doubt what I am supposed to take in good faith. I feel I should be upfront in stating that I do not like either of these women, as people. In terms of the way the relationships played out, both were verbally and psychologically abusive. One was physically abusive. Both have gone out of their way to portray me as being psychologically unstable, controlling, and manipulative. And that’s just what comes off the top of my head. I was criticised for my own mental and emotional issues yet expected to cater to theirs. I was treated as though my thoughts and feelings were not valid, under the guise of accusations of treating them the same. Unfortunately, I see the same patterns of behavior starting to play out with them, with my kids. They both claim to be in therapy, but I don’t see any sort of indication that this therapy is actually constructive. It just looks like, from someone who was forced outside, that it’s just a continuation of the self-delusion. And that doesn’t benefit the kids at all.

By virtue of the fact that I am expected to co-parent, my ability to set up boundaries is slightly hampered. Because these women don’t respect anyone’s boundaries. They don’t know how to do anything but chase whatever whim their ego screams at them. And to me, a lot of the times, their egos run strongly counterproductive to what is best for the children. Or what is best for the harmony of the situation. Whenever I speak up about something, I’m met with derision. I’m met with attacks. I’m met with perpetual static. I am not allowed to establish limitations on what can be said. I am not allowed to establish boundaries on what I feel is acceptable for my children, because those boundaries interfere with their mother’s lives.

The most blatant two examples I can offer are this: bedtimes and significant others. My daughter has a problem with constantly falling asleep when she is in the car, no matter how short or far the trip is. She acts like she never gets any sleep. She always acts like she is exhausted. I know that when she is with me, she has the activity at school; either PE or recess, as well her martial arts class. But when she is with her mother, she does nothing active. Additionally, her mother doesn’t respect her bedtime. And then I’m left to wonder why my daughter has little to no energy. Both mothers of my children have a problem with being appropriate about their relationships with each kid. To them, their dalliances are just “friends”. Even though my kids see them kissing these new men. The kids see them going into the same bedroom. The kids aren’t dumb. But exposing your children to these men, like a revolving door, does not set the best of examples for them on how to view their relationships. Not every person you date deserves the honor of meeting your children. The lesson I was taught was that my children should only be introduced to the women I potentially date, once I’m sure that they’re going to be around on a near-permanent basis. The kids don’t need to know that people are expendable. The kids deserve to see better relationship models. Stability. Not the chaos of the perpetual revolving door. And not the gradual development of the fear of impermanence.

I struggle daily in enforcing my boundaries. I struggle with not capitulating to someone else’s desires. Because the weight of the bullshit that is thrown is absolutely depressing. And draining. No one deserves to feel like that. I’m better than I was, but I feel I could still improve. And I’m sure I will as I continue to grow, and evolve, and learn about myself and how to deal with my world.

[those70scomics]

i hate people keeps saying hyde only loved jackie when he was in love with donna for good part of season 1. he clearly loved her deeply and probably still does until season 5 (he even casually offered to sleep with her in season 4). in season 1 he fell for his girlfriend chrissy, in season 4 he had feelings for the cute black girl and he had feelings for his wife (they were married!). it's selfish of JH shippers to say the only woman hyde ever loved is jackie.

i hate people keeps saying hyde only loved jackie when hewas in love with donna for good part of season 1.

I’m going to analyze this assertion from a fact-basedstandpoint, using evidence from the show.

Hyde has held onto a picture of her from middle school foryears where her bra strap is visible. He explicitly tells Donna in “First Date”(1x16) that he has “feelings” for her. He asks Donna why she has “a thing” forEric in “That Disco Episode (1x07), and he pursues her relentlessly throughoutmuch of the season.

It’s the nature of that pursuit, however, that makes Hyde atroubling character in season 1 and reveals his original purpose on the show:to be Eric’s villainous foil and illustrate how much better a person Eric is –in general and for Donna – in comparison to him. While Hyde is definitelyshown to have romantic feelings for and sexual attraction toward Donna inseason 1, labeling it love or as him being in love isproblematic. What he experiences is a sense of possession over and/orentitlement to Donna. As will become evident in the discussion below. The Eric/Donna/Hyde triangle isn’t actually a triangle. From “That ‘70s Pilot”(1x01) and all the subsequent episodes of season 1, Donna’s romantic feelingsfor Eric are explicitly stated and demonstrated. “You could’ve had me when wewere four,” she tells Eric early in the pilot and kisses him on the lips by theend of it. She also implicitly (subtextually) demonstrates her romanticfeelings for Eric.

She never, however, demonstrates – explicitly or implicitly– that she has romantic feelings for Hyde. In fact, the opposite is true. In“Eric’s Buddy,” Hyde puts his hand on Donna’s thigh. She tells him to “Moveyour hand.” She means, “Remove your hand,” but her imprecision inspireshim to rub her leg up and down instead. She grasps his hand and shoves it offher, clearly not welcoming or enjoying the physical contact. After Hyde hits on her in “Ski Trip” (1x13), she tells him, “I’m up here with Eric, alright Eric, get it?Not you!”

A true romantic triangle requires the person in the middle have romanticfeelings for both suitors. Donna does not. She has romantic feelings for onlyEric. And this is where the problem lies. Hyde ignores what she wants. She tells andshows him repeatedly that she doesn’t share his romantic interest. He continuesto pursue her. He forces a kiss on her in “Ski Trip” after she tells him tostop hitting on her. She shoves him off her during the kiss and slaps him.

But he still doesn’t get the message or care about her desires. Heessentially stalks her in “First Date” and attempts to stop Eric from givingher his class ring and making their relationship official. Once Eric does give Donna his class ring, however, that is finally enough to get Hyde to stop pursuing her and invading her boundaries, but thedamage has been done.

What Hyde demonstrates in season 1 is not love for Donna butselfishness. His own feelings are the only ones that matter, not hers. Love isacceptance and compromise. It’s giving to another for that purpose only: togive. Love often entails making sacrifices. It can also mean letting the personone loves go if it means s/he’ll be happy.Hyde begins demonstrates these qualities of (romantic) love only withJackie.

With Donna, Hyde’s “love” is ignoring what she wants to get what hewants. Invading her boundaries. Trying to disrupt her happiness with Eric.

[Hyde] clearly loved [Donna] deeply and probably still does untilseason 5 (he even casually offered to sleep with her in season 4).

What Hyde demonstrates during seasons 1-8 is platonic love for Donna.Not romantic love. He supports her relationship with Eric unconditionally. Hehelps them out when they have problems (may episodes throughout seasons 2-7).

Saying “he even casually offered to sleep with [Donna]” is an imprecisedescription of what actually happens in “The Relapse” (4x106). His comment mustbe taken within the context of Donna’s story arc, the episode, and the scene inwhich that line takes place.

Donna is grieving the end of her parents’ marriage and the absence ofher mother. She’s so desperate for distraction from her pain that she has sexwith her ex-boyfriend, Eric. She’s in the midst of trying to eat away herfeelings (literally eat; she gobbles down all the food she can), but it’s obviously not working. That’s when she initiates sexualcontact with Eric.

Eric, meanwhile, is heartbroken over his breakup with her. Because ofhow much trust Donna needs in Eric to have sex with him during theirrelationship, he falsely believes having sex with her in this episode meansthey’re back together. He doesn’t take into account the fact that she’s inmourning. He’s thinking of only his own grief.

Later in the episode, Hyde informs Donna that Eric believes he and Donnaare “back together”. Hyde tells her this as a friend to both of them, to makesure they clear this up before either of them gets even more hurt.

Donna, though, admits that, “I would have done it [had sex] withanybody.”

Hyde recognizes her pain, and hisgo-to-place in tense moments is to try to lighten the mood. We see him do thiswith Eric’s parents a lot, with Eric in “Eric’s False Alarm” (4x25), and he doesthe same with Jackie in “Black Dog” (5x09). So he says to Donna, “Anybody?Damn, and I was just over there watching stupid Donahue. Hey, let’s doit right now.” He’s teasing her, trying to get a laugh out of her. When it doesn’t work, heshifts out of his normal make-jokes mode and gives her the sympathy she needs.He says, “Yeah, I’m just kidding about the do it stuff. I’m sorry aboutyour mom.” He puts his arm around her, giving her platonic, physical (not sexual)comfort, too. Like siblings would do.

He silently holds her for a very long time. It’s not something we’ve seenhim do before, and considering his childhood, it’s probably not something he’sexperienced himself. He can tolerate only so much of it before his discomfortbecomes unbearable, and he falls back into his defense mechanism of makingjokes.

“Seriously, let’s do it right now,” he says. That’s his way of makinghimself feel comfortable and, perhaps, of ending this very (platonically)intimate moment between him and another person. Hyde is someone who doesn’tdeal with emotion well, largely because he’s been through what Donna’s goingthrough during season 4. After season 1, he often tries to hide his feelingsfrom himself and the world, and empathizing with Donna’s grief takes an emotionaltoll.

in season 1 he fell for his girlfriend chrissy

Chrissy is not Hyde’sgirlfriend in “Punk Chick” (1x22). He knows her for twenty-four hours at most. They meet each other for the first time in the early evening. He sleeps with her twice,and she asks him to go to New York with her. The next day, he tells her hecan’t go with her. By the end of the episode, he and his friends spot herdriving off on her Vespa with another guy on the back of it.

The episode shows no evidence that Hyde falls in love with Chrissy. He fallsin love with the idea of leaving his awful childhood (and mother) behind andgoing to New York and maybe meeting one of his rock idols, Lou Reed.

in season 4 he had feelings for the cute black girl

Yes, Melissa is verycute (and smart) and had a lot of potential as a character. But Hyde knows herfor all of an hour. They don’t have a relationship. They have an awkward,uncomfortable time together at the get-Hyde-a-girlfriend party. He’s clearly physically attracted to her from the start, butlove? That would take a lot longer than an hour of awkwardness to develop.

and he had feelings for his wife (they were married!).

Hyde marrying Samin season 8 is entirely out of character, and it’s not something he wouldactually do. The new showrunners hired for season 8 stated in an interview (TVGuide, I believe) that they hated Jackie and Hyde together and neverunderstood their romantic relationship. So they were putting an end to it. How?By marrying Hyde off to a new character.

In order to view Hyde’s marriage to Sam as legitimate, one must ignoreHyde’s long-established characterization and storylines from “Prom Night” (1x19) to the season7 finale. None of what happens in season 8, however, is legitimate. Even DavidTrainer, That ‘70s Show’s director for the whole series, save the pilot,called season 8 an “alternate universe” and “one of many possible futures” forthe characters.

it’s selfish of JH shippers to say the only woman hyde everloved is jackie.

J/H shippers don’t say that Jackie is the only woman Hydeever loved. Perhaps many of us say that she’s the only woman he is ever properly inlove with.

I can speak only for myself, but selfishness has nothing todo with my views about Jackie and Hyde. I analyze and interpret Hyde and Jackiebased on their actions on the show, within the context of the whole series,and I take into account the writing. What were the writers’ intentions with aparticular story arc? Does conflict arise organically from who the characters are,or are the characters manipulated against their natures to manufactureconflict?

You clearly don’t like Jackie’s character and/or don’t likeJackie and Hyde together. That’s your right. But calling or viewing other people as selfish for not sharing your opinion isnot beneficial to you or anyone else.

#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #Jackie x Hyde #Steven Hyde #Donna Pinciotti #Ask #Anon #My Meta #My Essay #Special

[chrisbransdon]

On knowing your own mind

On an episode of The Drum on August 20, feminist writer Jane Caro could hardly contain herself. The source of her distress was the Managing Director of the Women’s Forum Australia, Rachael Wong. Wong had the gall to suggest that it would be prudent to legislate informed consent for women seeking abortions. In response to Wong’s view that a woman seeking an abortion ought to be made aware of alternatives and referred to counselling, Caro shot back:

“Having had an abortion, and having known my own mind, and being perfectly capable of doing the research myself… had any doctor tried to speak to me that way I would have told them to pull their head in. I was a grown woman when I made that decision. We are perfectly capable of making intelligent judgments about our own bodies... It is incredibly disrespectful to have our rights over our own bodies dissected and discussed… It is up to women themselves….”

If Caro could hardly contain her anger at Wong’s suggestion, I can hardly contain my incredulity at her response. A large part of Caro’s journey to abortion was her ability to access and understand information regarding the procedure before she went through with it. In her words: she knew her own mind.

When Wong suggests that informed consent ought to be a necessary step towards abortion, she is in a sense agreeing with Caro. The aim of building informed consent into the process is to ensure that every woman who goes through with an abortion can say with some degree of confidence that she did in fact know her own mind.

There is no doubt that Caro is ideologically committed to abortion. It seems that she had reconciled herself to the option long before it became a personal reality. But what I would like to ask Caro is, do you really believe that your understanding and experience of abortion is universal to all women?

It is profoundly ironic to me that women like Caro, who are so ready to propound the feminist idea that middle class white men are incapable of perceiving their privilege, do not recognise their own privilege in this instance. To suggest that every woman who unexpectedly falls pregnant has had the same mental and emotional resources to adequately process her options prior to the event, let alone in the midst of it, by herself, is absurd.

“Having known my own mind and being perfectly capable of doing the research…” That kind of self-knowledge and capability is overwhelmingly the fruit of university education and a general condition of stability. And where even the most stubbornly thought through woman is concerned, unexpected pregnancies can, and do, have a disarming effect.

The fragility of a woman’s mental state during and after pregnancy features heavily in one of the court rulings that has tempered the scope of the Crimes Act 1900 (NSW) as it relates to abortion. In CES v Superclinics Australia Pty Ltd (1995) the Court of Appeal ruled in favour of the appellant who wished to claim damages against Superclinics for failing to diagnose her pregnancy early enough for her to procure a legal abortion. Essentially, the woman sued for ‘wrongful birth’ (an expression that is now standard legalese).  

The Judge in the original case ruled that any instance of abortion would have been unlawful for the woman since there was no evidence that her life, or the life of her child, was in any way threatened. However, the Appeal ruling widened the scope for lawful abortion by taking into account the mental state of the woman.

The Appeal found that the social and economic circumstances of a woman may be adversely affected by bearing a child, even a healthy child, resulting in the deterioration of the new mother’s mental health. Conveniently, the Court ruled that the full extent of such mental deterioration could not possibly be known until after the child was born. From this ruling on, a termination could be declared lawful on the grounds that it would protect the mother from any ensuing mental harm.

Perhaps the mother in this case was cut from the same cloth as Caro – a woman who had come to a clinic having already known her own mind. The facts of the case recall a woman who wanted an abortion, certainly. But they also recall a frightened and anxious woman. Even the most resolute of women navigate this space in a sort of fearful haze.

The Reproductive Health Care Reform Bill sets the bar for informed consent far too low. Firstly, it does not provide any grounds for evaluating whether or not a woman has given informed consent. For example, the Bill makes no explicit provisions for the woman to be advised of her options. Further, whether or not a woman is referred to counselling is entirely at the discretion of her medical practitioner. In an instance where a couple have fallen pregnant with a child with Down’s Syndrome for example, it seems highly unlikely that such a couple would be referred to counselling prior to abortion. Prevailing consensus amongst the medical community is that this baby should not be brought to term. What provisions will be made for a couple in situations where the medical practitioner has already decided that abortion is the best course of action? This is an utterly perverted expression of ‘choice.’

The women who ‘know their own minds’ when seeking abortion will not be at a disadvantage if offered clear options for informed consent. However, these same women who speak loudly into the public sphere about how ‘disrespectful’ it is to be given options, do a grave injustice to the women for whom these services may be, quite literally, a lifeline.

No woman will be prosecuted again in this state for procuring an abortion from a medical expert (and I don't advocate that they should be). Since the Superclinics ruling, the scope for abortion effectively provides for a prospective mother to terminate a pregnancy on the grounds that the child may prove to be an inconvenience. It paved the way for the belief that giving birth to an unwanted child is the unconscionable act, over and above the killing of that life.

In my own (short) lifetime I have seen monumental social change and yet nothing has prompted me to action like this. For the first time, I have organised my community on political matters. For the first time, I have organised to meet with my MPs. For the first time, I have called multiple members of Parliament in one sitting. For the first time, I have rallied with strangers to protest against the government of the day.

I do this because I believe that this is the final proof that our society as a whole has been taken in by an abhorrent view of morality. We believe that what is pleasurable and convenient is to be preferred to what is right. We do not have the moral imagination to find any meaning in suffering, we do not believe that sacrifice could be a form of strength. And so we pass over children who may be born with defects. We do not try to genuinely aid a woman who may wish to abort her pregnancy for no other reason than it may interrupt her life trajectory. We do not try to create a society that is guided by compassion, rather we run wholeheartedly with the Darwinian notion that every woman must fight for herself. If a woman feels she must terminate her pregnancy because the social and economic cost is too great – that is an indictment upon society. It is not the kind of society I wish to cultivate.

It has long been said that the law is consistently playing catch up with changing social mores. When it finally changes, it is said to reflect views that are widely held and deeply felt. In this instance I say firmly: not I.