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jamiedc-they-them · 4 years

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Reckless Pride (Platonic)

hey can i request a dany x sibling!reader where r tells dany how coming to westeros was a bad idea, and that they'll follow her no matter what and then they're on raeghal when hes shot down and then idk angsty... B

Being twins was a thing that sometimes happened. It just was. Granted, with your family history, didn’t have the best expectations. But you and your twin sister broke them. Instead of fucking, you didn’t. Good job you.

You and Danny acted like actual siblings; none of those longing stares of that type of love. No, just sibling love between you both. You were both best friends rather than fuck buddies.

Still, your brother wasn’t the biggest fan of that. He hated that you both didn’t give him what he wanted. He wanted heirs with his blood. He wanted a throne for himself. That selfishness drove him. It drove him to lash out at you both and hate you both with a fiery (pun intended) fashion.

That was what led (other than just being twins) to you both being protective of the other. Danny more so as you held the more masculine tropes; anger, hate, vengeance, little emotional expression. Obviously, Danny was the other side of that coin.

So, when the chance came for your brother to get what he wanted; he took it instantly. He didn’t care that it meant selling your sister and being with those he deemed savages. Granted, their methods were wild and what not. But, to him, they were nothing more than pawns.

Danny and you saw some sort of humanity to them. Even if not much; you saw how much genuine care Drogo showed your sister. Even how seemed to keep on eye on you too (be that either by Danny’s request or otherwise). That definitely pissed your brother off.

“So, I see the little whore has got you under the Khal’s protection?” Your brother sneered as he entered your tent. While you had both once feared him (Danny still did) you had learnt how to piss him off and how to use it against him.

“Careful, brother. Reckless ambition normally ends in consequences they didn’t see coming.” You warned your brother. Danny entered the tent, so she heard your warning that was meant for your brother.

“Y/N!” She yelled out in concern as she ran to your side after your brother punched you. You had to admit, he did have a good punching arm on him.

She grabbed you as you tried to get back at him, barely holding you back. She kept a hand to your chest to keep you from creating more conflict and escalate things further than they already had been.

“Y/N calm down…calm down.” She whispered to you softly, but she was scared. She was scared for the both of you. As much as she didn’t care for her other brother. You were her best friend, her twin. You were someone who would her back and she would always have theirs.

No matter what.

Your brother was a bother, a massive pain in the ass. And other words. Either way, when he came stumbling into the tent where a party was being held, you watched with calculating eyes. You watched as he went towards Danny (after finding her, of course) with a drunken stagger. Even then, you could tell that he was not in the best of mindsets (even at the best of times when it came to you both).

As soon as the sword was drawn, you started to walk over to help Danny out; however, Jorah stopped you and gave you a look that told you to calm down. Danny moved her eyes to you and slightly shook her head.

Her eyes gave you a simple message, “I’ve got this”

So, you watched as she stood up to face him with an apathetic look. She’d already eaten a heart and found a genuine connection with the Khal. Still, as a worried brother you watched your twin. You knew you both always felt fear for the other that one day you would lose them.

Still, you watched as your brother was brought to his knees and the Khal threw gold into the pot that was bubbling away happily. Danny held out her hand for you; you took it and stood next to her. For once, the roles were flipped. You were the emotional one whereas Danny kept her’s in check.

“He won’t hurt us anymore.” She promised you and gave your hand a squeeze as said person’s screams echoed for a moment before gong still. A BANG! Made you look and see the melted gold on his head.

You were in your own tent. For once in what had been a long time, you were speechless and slightly scared. Don’t get it wrong, your brother deserved what had happened to him. It was just…the look on her face. Something had been opened; a door you were sure she was going to walk through herself. A door to a dark place. A place where anything would be done to get what she wanted.

You closed your eyes, hating yourself for thinking that about your sister that had been nothing but kind to you since birth. Then again, everyone had a darkness inside of them. Everything was capable of dropping the deep end and never coming back from it.

Although you hated it, you knew your mind had a point. You knew that something had snapped inside Danny. It was a subtle shift.

You closed your eyes and let out a breath. If you were going to help her not fall down the path that your brother fell down; you were going to have to act now rather then later.

So, you left to find your sister to do the first step in a plan you were making up the whole time.

Step 1: Fight for her in her army while also being a trusted advisor to her. That way you could keep an eye on the two fronts.

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You were 8 when your brother first hit you. It was out of defiance of something about your sister (your brain made you forget what the topic was) and the next moment, a hand struck your face and you fell to the ground.

“Y/N!” A same aged Daenerys ran over to you as she yelled your name in pure concern.

“Step away from him, whore!” He yelled; that boiled rage in you. You swung at him and caught him off guard. As soon as you did, you grabbed Danny’s hand and ran with her.

You entered his room and hid under his bed. You knew he’d check your rooms first and never suspect his own to be the chosen hiding place.

“Why did you do that?” She asked you with an unsteady pace. Her breathing was picking up, she was panicking.

“I had to protect you and defend you –”

“But, look at has happened to you in the process –” She lightly pressed a hand to your bruised cheek. You grabbed the hand and lowered it slowly.

“I’m fine.”

“Just…don’t be so reckless like that, again.” She warned you.

Funny that she was the one who gave you that warning back then.

Danny held some resistance, but she let you fight. She seemed to see that you were better suited out there anyway than cooped up inside.

So, with Jorah as a mentor, you learnt how to properly fight. Even the Khal gave you private ones. So, you could fight on two fronts: honourable and not honourable. To you, it didn’t matter if it was honourable or not, it just mattered you won, and the opponent didn’t. You weren’t much of a believer in a life after this one; so, killing someone with non-honourable way wouldn’t exactly matter if you made it through and not them.

So, you learnt what you could form the two whiles being at Danny’s side when she needed you. Being an ear to guide her and a brother to her when she needed that support. One of those times was when the Khal had sadly passed.

You had started a genuine friendship with him. He called you brother on a few occasions and fought with you when you needed backup. He loved you like his own. Obviously, getting along with him made Danny happy. She wanted her twin to be involved with her goal as much as possible. As of now, you were the only human of her family that was still around. So, she wanted you in her life, even if she worried about you going out on these missions

Now he was gone, and there was nothing either of you could do about it.

“Danny –” You said softly as you entered her tent.

“Not now, Y/N.” She said, stopping you before you said anything.

“Danny –” You tried again, knowing that she shouldn’t have to go through this alone.

“I said not now!” She yelled at you in raw, unfiltered grief.

You didn’t say her name again, you only took her in your arms and held on tight as she tried to fight back. In the end, however, she sunk into them and cried. Just let it all out, all the grief and pain. She cried, sobbing into you.

You didn’t say anything, you just let her cry. You knew words wouldn’t help her through this moment. She had lost a child and lover near enough in the same moment. You knew this would only drag her further through that open door. But you knew that bringing it up now would not be a good idea. You knew that it was better to leave it for now.

For both of your sakes.

“Sorry.” Danny said softly as you flinched away from the sting that trying to clean your cut had caused. Neither of you wanted the other in pain. Yet, here you were, yet again after getting your ass kicked by your brother for something or other. It wasn’t like he needed a reason to hate you both anymore.

It just seemed like merely existing and being a threat to what he wanted was enough justification for him to hit you and do whatever monstrous acts he did to Danny. You didn’t want to even think about that.

“It’s ok. Just stung is all.” You told her. She, in a gentler way, dabbed the cloth on your face.

“It’s not ok. One of these days, you’re going to get yourself killed because of this.” Thinking about it now, you would’ve laughed.

“You know we can just put a heated blade to it, right?” You said to her, moving on from the confrontational words.

“What?” She asked, in a moment of shock and concern. However, after a beat, she understood what you meant and went to fetch one. You grabbed her hand and showed her one you always seemed to keep in case of emergency.

She didn’t confront you on that, only left to heat it to use. She could only theorize that you would use it on your brother when you had the chance. Although, the chances of that getting you killed shot right up.

If she was scared for you before, after that day she was terrified.

Meereen was another piece to her puzzle to gain control. She already had a footing; she’d burned slavers and freed slaves. But you were worried, very worried. But, right now, a rider from the city was coming out to face you all.

Daenerys turned to you all, the three of you (a new friend being the third) all putting yourself up as bait to go after him.

“I’ll go.” You said, and Danny couldn’t hold her worry as she instantly answered you. She was calm with the other two. Then it came to you.

“No.” You, her best friend since birth, her twin. She needed you with her. She wanted you to be there at the end.

“Danny, I can beat him.” You assured your sister.

“I said no.” She said, more firmly. For a moment, the two saw a more vulnerable side to her. A side she tried to hide. With them, she was calmer. But, with you, it was raw, sisterly, instinct driving her here.

“Let him.” She looked to Jorah with shock. Even if she just called him one of her closest friends. IN this moment, she couldn’t look angrier and more disappointed in him.

She looked at you, seeing the confidence in your eyes. She knew, in that moment, that you weren’t the children either of you were now. You were a fighter. You always had been.

You let him come to you, something your new friend had taught you. Instead of going on the attack, you’d play defence and then go on the attack.

You let him rid, let him get his hopes up that he would win. He got closer, and closer, and closer, and closer. He rods more and more, eager to reach you and then to kill you. To prove himself to his city.

The next moment, his horse fell to the ground. He tumbled to it, rolling in his armour.

You approached him, blank face as you did so. Danny watched you with an impressed look. As you got to him, you only stabbed him and ended his life.

Was it fair? No. But, you were alive, and you weren’t.

Danny had sent broken cuffs to the walls of the city before the fight. You saw it in her eyes. The truth she carried, that she had freed them.

But you also saw the lie as well, that it meant all her actions were in the right.

“You bitch!” Your brother yelled as he went to strike Danny. You ran up to him, pushing him away. He turned his gaze onto you.

“No, Y/N stop! Stop! Leave him, Y/N. Leave him. It’s ok –”

“It’s not ok!” You yelled; your brother only watched you with fiery eyes.

“I know. But you must leave it. Please –”

“You don’t deserve this.” You said, keeping your gaze on your brother.

“Maybe. But, leave it.” You looked at her, “Leave it. I’ll see you after.” You were speechless. Your sister, as much as she hated it, was allowing it.

But what had hurt you was that it came out as an order; no longer a plead.

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You had the city, and she was loved. That was the issue, she was loved. No one was challenging her. It was just what she said goes. Granted, she was the queen and all that. But any argument that didn’t go her way, she walked away or merely didn’t change her view until someone else did.

If no one else was going to do it, you were.

“No.” Now you were firm.

“Y/N –” Danny tried to say, but you continued.

“Your going to marry one of the bastards?!” You were loud; the other ones in the room only watched you both.

“I need to keep control –”

“Through marriage?! To him of all people!” She had seen you angry before; but it had never been directed at herself. She started to see her older brother in this moment, not her twin brother.

“I’m losing control. It’s either slavers rioting or the slaves themselves. Some want chains, others don’t. What would you have me do?!”

“Listen to us! Ask us for fucking advice! And actually listen! Instead of dismissing or argue. For –” You stopped yourself before you would cross some kind of line, “Just, why have us if all you want from us is for us to saw you’re right and move on.”

Your words got to her; they struck a chord with her. If more than anything, they hurt her. But, to you, this is what you needed. It was what she needed. She needed someone to calm her down. She was starting to lose control and was willing to do anything to hold onto it.

Yes, your brother was a monster, no question. Now, however, she was the one who was going to a dark place to keep some kind of peace and control.

Yes, this place was vital in some way as a home and place to stay for now. But her end goal was to go across the sea and take over the seven kingdoms. It wasn’t to stay here, so why did it matter if you did or not have this place.

“They want chains. Let them –” She looked at you in shock.

“Y/N…” She drifted off, looking at you in disappointment. She was about to go into queen mode again when you spoke up before she could.

“What would Viserys do in this situation? If he was still here? If he was still in control?” You asked. Now, you had crossed that line.

“Get out.” She had never used him against you. Now you were doing that to her. She wouldn’t let it slide.

You went to talk, probably to try and take it back. But she had heard enough already, “I said. Get. Out.” She was definitely in queen mode now. Now, you were merely a soldier. You weren’t an advisor. You were a soldier in her command.

“Are you ok?” You asked your sister as she walked into the room; she didn’t answer, only placing herself at the balcony.

“Come on Danny, talk to me.” You begged her, standing next to her.

She only looked out at the view. Yes, what he did was horrible. But –

“You can’t keep doing that.” She said, softer than she had before.

“I can’t just let him hurt you.”

“You can help me after, just like I do you.”

“Did he tell you to –”

“No! I hate him just as much as you do,” She turned to you, “But, angering him more does not do anything but make it worse. I need you to stop doing that.” Now she was the one who was reckless.

She saw the conflict on your face. She saw the dialogue you were having with yourself internally. Like most twins, you could read each other easily.

“I don’t like it either,” She told you, softening her voice more, “But…. just do this. For me, please?” She asked, taking your hand in her own.

“We have a mission from our Queen. One she wants just for yourself.” Grey Worm said as he approached you. He had respected you. Only now, he looked at you as another of his men. He cared for them, and you. But you were ultimately at the beck and call of your leader.

“Why just me?” You asked as you stood up.

“She ordered it. We don’t question her.” God, it sounded like a cult. Yes, you knew the importance of armies and having a good amount of control; and you knew that they were in debt for her for being saved by her.

However, you knew that she had fully gone through that door. Now she had a place to live. She was close to being able to go over to the other side of this world to go after an Iron chair. You were sure she was starting to become disillusioned with her family name. A lifetime of abuse and powerlessness mixed with loneliness was driving her now.

It seemed she was even willing to lose you both in death in bond wise. Seemed she was risking anything and everything to get to this throne now.

You were sure that if you said no, you’d either be arrested or killed. So, with no other choice, you took the job.

You could see why she gave it to you. It was a hit job; something that been attempted on her a few times. Even yourself. Now, she was using those tactics on her enemies. And sending in a person she used to see as a brother rather than another name of a list of people to send out to die.

So, you went. It was a slaver, a bad person, you wouldn’t debate that at all. He was a man who owned people and hurt them if they disobeyed. Now, you were continuing that reckless cycle of death and punishment. Only now you were a free person doing the killing.

The man tried to fight back; tried being the key word. You merely slashed him in the belly and then snapped his neck. It was quick, simple even.

The next time you helped her heal the physical wounds, she was crying too much to talk. You weren’t going to hold it against her, though. You knew it was bad what he did. Now, however, you just had to help her heal physically. You knew mentally would be another ball game entirely.

“Tha—Thank you.” Daenerys said to you with a stutter.

“Of course, we need to watch out for each other, right?”

She nodded, “Right.”

“Is it done?” Your queen asked you as you walked back into the main room. For once, you were at the entrance and being the one who was scrutinised by her rather than you are being by her side and trying to find the truth yourself.

“Yes, my Queen.” You answered, making sure to hold the last word to make your feelings on this known.

She looked you up and down, “Very well.” She said, dismissing you.

A few months of fight after fight, you had gone across the sea. But, at this point, your dynamic was almost completely void. You had barely spoken, neither of you trying to patch things up where you left off.

During your visit, you were called, “My lord” even if you weren’t looking like one in any way, shape or form.

Hell, even the way you held yourself argued otherwise. You only spoke when spoken to and not at any other point.

You looked and acted hollowed.

It had gained the attention of Jon Snow. Who, while he had begun some sort of dynamic with Daenerys; with you he had become a friend to you? He had taken the time of day to speak to you and bond with you. Plus, a trip beyond the wall helped you get closer as well. If it wasn’t for him, you’d have been dead a few times.

When you got to Winterfell, it led to Arya Stark finding you an intriguing person. Someone called a lord but held themselves as anything but.

“Place at the table free?” She asked as she had approached you silently. You had been sat at a table with others, but you were one your own for the most part.

“Course, my lady.” You answered as if an autopilot.

She sat, liking the silence for a moment. She hated small talk as of late. Seemed you did too, that just made her more interested in talking to you.

“Why aren’t you up with your sister?” She asked you, gesturing her head towards the woman in white.

“Not really much of a sister now.” She looked at you with a confused look.

“Then what is she?”

“A queen to anyone else who’d asks it.” She nodded but continued her question.

“And to you?”

“Just like the rest of them. Someone willing to risk it all for something so tame.” You were honest, it had been the first time you’d told anyone out loud.

“She seems lonely.” She commented.

“Yeah, well. Accidentally push some people away in an attempt to focus on what you want, that’s what you get.” Arya was more intrigued now. You were honest and not a bullshitter. You had survived the game so far, so you had to be doing something right.

She decided she liked you and sat with you on the table.

Daenerys had spotted you talking to the young Stark. She watched you as you smiled and spoke. She missed you, she did. She missed having you by her side to support her as an advisor/soldier/brother. Now it was just the middle option.

She wanted to apologise, she wanted to get things back on track. But she wouldn’t show weakness here. Not in front of these people who would soon be under her rule.

The battle against the dead had come and gone. A night that had taken a lot of lives, almost yours in certain situations. Arya and you had stuck together during it apart from the end.

It had, however, taken a close friend of yours, Jorah.

At the funeral, Arya stood with you as you watched your friend be burned and put to whatever came next.

As you walked off, you felt a hand grab your arm. You turned, seeing your sister look at you as something other than a soldier for once. You caught Arya’s eye, and nodded for her to continue. She did as ask.

“What, my queen?” She hated the way you threw the name back at her. She was hurting, as were you. But, right now, she wanted; no, she needed support.

“When we go to Kings Landing, I want you to ride Raeghal.” You watched her with mistrust, as if she could be lying to you. She hated it, “I need us to be ok.” She said, maybe it was the grief, the hurt of losing a close friend that made her not look at you as a soldier anymore.

Despite the anger you carried, you nodded. It was something. Something was better than nothing.

So, you rode. Well, you flew, but still. You flew for what you were sure was your first time. But you seemed to be quite adept at it, despite this fact. As you did, Danny watched with a happy smile. Despite the pain of losing Jorah, having you be happy for once was enough to help for a little.

That was until the spike went through Raeghal. She could only watch as you fell on top of the dragon.

“NO!” She cried out as she watched you hit the waves below. She rose up to the clouds, then went straight down.

She was gong to make them pay.

She had lost her best friend next. The losses were piling up, she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. She couldn’t lose anyone else. Well, that was mainly because there was no one else. There was no one else left to lose really.

Then her heart hurt more at the last memory of you being you falling towards the ocean.

So, as Jon approached to try and get her to spare the people of Kings Landing. She only had one thing to say.

“Would they have shown Y/N the same mercy if they had him at their mercy?” Jon knew the answer just as well as she did.

No; no, they wouldn’t. So, why should she?

You washed up on shore. How? You had no idea; mainly just pure dumb luck had brought you there. You were alive though, that was what had mattered.

You closed your eyes a moment. You could just stop here; you could just stop and give up and let yourself die. You could just let your sister have her way in the dark door that she was shutting behind her now.

“Danny.” You said as you got ready to leave with the Dothraki. She was terrified, something you understood. You felt your own fear for her. But it was just another dumb and reckless move your brother was making in a mere hope that he could reach his end point.

“Yes, Y/N?” She asked you in a soft, almost childlike voice.

“Look at me,” She did so,” Look, whatever happens. I’ll be there, ok? I’ll be there until the end.” You promised her.

No, you couldn’t stop. Especially not when you heard screams in the distance.

You stood to your feet, saying, “fuck the armour” and ditching it. It was ruined anyway and would only run you down.

If there was one thing those that taught you to fight had done, it was show you how to conserve energy the best way possible.

So, you ran, you ran as fast as you could towards the screams.

The screams that you knew had been caused by your sister.

You saw the burning gate of Kings Landing as your own lungs burned. How you made it? You didn’t know, you were just glad you did.

It was then you saw a horse coming out of the gate, a white one. It was one that belonged to Arya Stark. You continued onward to try and catch up with your friend.

“ARYA!” You yelled to her. Somehow, your voice reached her, and she stopped, before meeting your gaze. She dropped from her horse and ran to you, you both embraced each other.

“I thought we lost you.” She said, in a voice that was different to what you were used to. It was scared, an almost childlike one. It reminded you of your sister. The one who had the firepower to burn the city and do the damage that had been caused.

“Are you alright?” You asked her as you gave her a once over. She did the same to you.

“Are you?” She asked, concern dripping from her words.

“I’ll live,” Your words gave her some ease, “Now, where’s my sister?”

She was giving a speech, your apparent death apparently meaning nothing at this point. She stood, talking about all the chaos as if it was the plan all along, as if it was a victory rather than what it actually was.

A defeat. A massacre.

You moved forward, only for your friend to grab your arm. You looked to her and she shook her head.

“You can’t go out there, you’ll be killed.” She warned you.

“I have to stop her.” You vowed. She nodded, agreeing with you; but she then nodded her head behind you. Turning, you saw Jon walking up to her.

“Come on, we’ll go around. I used to run around this area when I visited. We can take a shortcut to get up there without getting caught.” You nodded, following your friend as she did so.

“I have to get in there.” You said as you walked between the two siblings. Jon looked at you with shock, but it died when he looked at Danny once again. The woman he loved and his aunt. It was complicated. So, maybe the cycle wasn’t completely broken.

“I don’t know how to do it…” He drifted off. You saw his conflict first-hand; you looked at Arya. She seemed to be more guarded in his moment, but she softened as she saw your sad look and nodded. You gave your own, knowing what you had to do.

“I’ll do it.” You said, Arya gave you a blade to do it with.

You looked to Jon, giving him a pat on the arm and leaving to do what needed to be done.

“Y/N…” You heard Danny say as you looked up to meet her gaze. Her eyes watered as she looked at you with that sisterly love that had been lost so long ago and replaced with either apathy or slight care.

“Did you even look for me?” You asked, for once not feeling selfish in your question.

“I had a war to win, Y/N. And, look, we made it. We did it. Father’s stories weren’t true…. But we won!” She was excited; you’d never seen her this excited apart from when you were both younger and heard those stories.

Now, this seemed to be the end of that story.

“One last hug before you take the seat?” You asked, trying to keep your voice from cracking. She obliged your request, running over and hugging you tightly. It had been the first hug you’d have in so long.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry I did that to you. You’re my brother. The good one. I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that.” She went to say more, but a knife was plunged into her before she could do so.

She gasped, eyes wide staring back at you as she looked at the blade in her stomach. You held her shoulder’s as you laid her down on the ground. She looked at you with that childlike innocence for a moment longer.

“I’m sorry.” Was your last exchange before her breathing stopped and her eyes glazed over?

You let out a sob as you fell back. You had done what had been needed; you stopped the cycle of death and destruction. You had stopped her reckless moves, only if a little too late.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, you saw Jon above you. He held out an arm for you. You took it and was hauled to your feet.

“Give me the knife,” You looked at him with confusion, “I’ll take the fall,” You went to answer back; to argue your case when he continued, “You’ve done so much for family in a short space of time. You brought Arya back to her humanity. And you helped us when needed. Just…let me help you this time.” So, you handed him the blade, uttering only two words.

“Thank you.”

You stayed out of the politics, but Jon was being banished beyond the wall. However, it was a fit thing for the man, he was always better there anyway.

Oddly, you were invited by the Stark’s to see them off. Seems Jon’s words were right.

So, you stood to the side as you watched the siblings see each other off. Even if seeing it hurt you a little. Once they had all said their own goodbyes, they looked to you and silently told you to approach.

“I almost lost myself,” Arya admitted, “But, meeting you helped show me the path I was on and what it could lead to. Thank you for that, Y/N.” She said as she hugged your firmly. She seemed to sense your grief as well, as she tightened it a little more at your tense reaction.

“I’ll be sure to write to you and let you know what I found.” She told you as she pulled away.

Sansa gave you a smile, “Winterfell is always going to be open to you, my lord. You’re welcome any time you’d want to visit. We’re in a great debt to you.” She said, you smiled gratefully at the offer; you bowed to her to show your gratitude.

Bran just watched; you didn’t really have much to say to the new king. Besides, he probably saw it coming anyway.

Jon looked at you with mixed emotions; not at yourself, of course; but at your actions, “You can still come, if you want.” He offered you, sweetly.

“I can’t,” You declined, “I need to fix this. I couldn’t stop her quick enough. So, I have to try and help rebuild what she broke.” Jon nodded, respecting your answer and reasoning.

“I wish you well, lord Y/N.” You placed your arm on his.

“I wish you a safe journey, Jon Snow.”

You were the last Targaryen now. That was once told to be a dangerous thing. But, in your eyes, it was going to be peaceful. Yes, you’d morn your sister for years to come. But you had a calmer spirit now. The reckless streak in you had been buried years ago. But now it was gone for good.

Now you could focus on the future. Now you could slowly rebuild. After all, you’d seen what happens when you rush it and give into power.

#daenerys targaryen #daenerys targaryen imagine #game of thrones x reader #daenerys targeryan x reader

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our-kendrick · 4 years

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Anna Kendrick on life, love, sex toys and COVID-19

©: Janet R. Nepales

Read here, or below.

Talk about the relationships of mothers and daughters which is sometimes more difficult than the relationship between daughters and fathers.

The relationship between Darby and her mother, we don't know a lot about it until a little later in the show. And I love it so much. It has such an impact on who Darby is, and you really see that once you get to know her mother. And we get to know her mother even more as the show goes on.

There's an episode where we really get into Darby's relationship with her mother. And I was so surprised and happy. You know, happy might be the wrong word, but I was so amazed at how many women on the set, on the crew came up to me and they were like, this is my mother, this is my relationship with my mother.

Darby has a difficult relationship with her mother so it made me sad, but I definitely felt that made me really proud of the show that we were making, and that it resonated with so many people. And it also made me call my mother and say how grateful I am for what a wonderful mom she is.

There's a scene where Darby breaks down crying, and her mother doesn't know how to comfort her. And this happened a lot throughout the show; that it brought up a lot of personal stuff for me, but not necessarily to do with the content of the show.

That was one example where I have a close relationship with my mother and she's so empathetic but just having the experience of breaking down crying and having somebody just go like, what is your problem? That's something that reminded me of relationships that I was in when I was much younger. And just how painful that experience is and how grateful I am that there are things that I don't accept any more from people.

I expect empathy from people if we're going to have a relationship. It made me grateful that my mother modeled that empathy for me. Because if you don't have an empathetic home life, it's hard for you to know that you deserve empathy. The relationship between mothers and daughters is so complicated and so fraught sometimes. This show made me grateful for the way that my mother really modeled what empathy was for me.

What are the red flags for a woman on deciding relationships?

I remember somebody telling me when I was maybe, 14 or 15, I remember them saying it was a really specific example. And yet I have thought about it in almost any relationship I've ever like entered into or if I'm on a first date or something. Somebody told me when I was 14, if you're ever in a car with a guy, and he's driving, and as a joke, he lets go the wheel and makes you grab the wheel, because he's goofing around or something like that is not a guy that you want to be with. He might think, hey, I'm just joking. Why are you being so sensitive? We're just having fun. I wouldn't have let the car crash. But really, he's testing your boundaries. He's testing like what you're gonna put up with. And he's trying to make you uncomfortable. And it was such a weird, specific example. But I feel like I've had moments in my life where I'm like, oh, this is the guy letting go of the wheel to see what I'll do.

This is silly, but I dated a guy when I was 19, who tickled me all the time. And I don't like being tickled. I feel very claustrophobic, I panic and I don't like it. And I kept saying, this is a problem for me. Please don't do it. And he kept doing it and I broke up with him. And he thought I was being crazy because I broke up with him for tickling me.

I was like no, I broke up with you because you didn't respect me. I asked you for something and you did it to make me uncomfortable. I feel little things like that are so specific and you never know the exact situation it's going to be, but I'm really glad that somebody told me that when I was younger because it has come up a lot for me over the years.

Your show is titled “Love Life.” So let’s talk about your love life. Your first crush, best relationship you’ve had, worst breakup?

My first crush was in elementary school, and his name was Robbie. And I told him that I had a crush on him. And he told me that I was too short. So that was very heartbreaking for me. And now I really like being short. I actually love being a petite woman, that's fine with me.

My worst break-up was something that we tried to put in the show in a very, wait, that was like, a lot of stuff in the show is stuff that I mined from my own life, but it's all changed just enough so that I don't get angry phone calls from ex-boyfriends.

So, the worst breakup was something that I really wanted to put in the show. And I felt it was important to talk about the fact that I feel like most women don't make it out of their 20's without dating a guy who's a little scary. And you don't have to be in physical danger to be able to ask your friends for help. I was young and this was a short relationship, but he started to feel scary to me. And I felt like I was being dramatic. I felt like if I told my friends about it, they would say that I was overreacting. And it wasn't until later that I realized that my friends would have been happy to help me. And, luckily, that was a relationship that I got out of after only five or six months.

But in the show, for Darby, that relationship is longer. And so it was important to me to show that things can get uncomfortable and scary in relationships, and threatening. But sometimes when the good times are so good, it's really hard to leave. So yeah, a lot of the best and worst stuff of my relationship history is sort of in the show. Hopefully in a way where I have plausible deniability.

I watched your other TV show “Dummy.” Have you found a new appreciation for sex toys after having done that?

Well, I think during “Dummy,” which is about a sex doll for those who don't know, it did give me a new appreciation for people who are owners of sex dolls. Because it turns out that a sex doll is really heavy-lifting, way heavier than you think it's going to be. So, I feel like there's a level of commitment there to the people who enjoy sex dolls. No judgement here.

So, I tip my cap to those people. And actually, the director of “Dummy,” who created all the episodes of “Dummy,” her names is Tricia Brock, She also directed the Danny Coupons episode on “Love Life.” The one episode that opens with Darby using a sex toy. So, I was like, Tricia, you just like to have me doing something gross every time we work together.

You have lots of intimate scenes with all your love interests in the show. So talk about your views on doing nudity or intimate scenes.

It's funny that you say that because when we started doing the show, it dawned on me that in every single episode, I was gonna be doing like a kissing scene or a sex scene with someone brand new. Like each episode is a different person. So, that was nerve-wracking, but my personal feelings on nudity have stayed the same, which is that I'm not really interested in nudity for me. But I've never had a problem with simulated sex scenes. To me, that feels like that's about the character whereas I only get one body so nudity just isn't for me.

I was just so totally grateful each new episode that each cast member that we had and we had so many talented guys come on the show to say nothing of the women on the show, who like blow me away so talented. But I was very grateful that every person that Darby dates on the show is like such a class act, such a good actor, such a professional. Because it was definitely weird to know we're going to meet, and then immediately start filming. And within a week, we are going to be in bed pretending to have sex. So I was just very grateful that everybody was the coolest.

Tell us where you are right now and what are you doing for your mental and physical health during this time.

I'm in my house in LA. I'm by myself. I think it comes in waves. I could say I've been exercising every day and cooking and doing everything. I don't know what the experience has been for you, but there's definitely been days where I feel really helpless. I think that's probably something we're all dealing with. Just that feeling that something really terrible is happening and I can't help. I can't do anything and it makes you feel really powerless. You're trapped in your house and I definitely have gone through different cycles of letting that get me down and then just trying to let it happen rather than say a lot of other people have it worse than you, stop feeling sorry for yourself. So, just letting the bad feelings exist and knowing that they'll pass and that we will all get through this together.

I do feel grateful for the sense of community that exists even though we can't be together. Getting on Zoom chats, or Skype, or whatever the platform is and talking to my family, talking to my friends. Twice a week I do family movie nights. So, my parents are in Maine and my brothers in New York, and we pick a movie and we all press play at the same time. We watched that Robert Redford movie “The Natural” and “Princess Bride” and movies like that. We're all texting each other during the movie, which normally would be a no, but under the circumstances is really sweet. So, we're finding creative ways to stay connected.

Love Life’s first three episodes will debut May 27 on HBO Max, and the following seven will stream the Thursdays following.

#Anna Kendrick #Love Life #Projects #HBO Max #Interview #2020

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nastyburger · 4 years

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I'm not sure why but I keep getting irritated with the oversaturation of redheads compared to literally any other available minority in the media (cartoons specifically). I don't know what's wrong with me, I just want more diversity. All these girl characters are blond hair, blue eyes (I could probably list 10+ of them off the top of my head alone. Give them other traits DOGGONE IT) and everywhere I look there's a redhead. Redheads are the "safe minority," white and most normal people wouldn't be discriminating against them. A way to say "oh we're diversifying the gang" without actually doing it, it's like when animes give characters perfect heterochromia and albinism for the sake of "coolness and mystique" instead of actually adding diversity to the cast beyond eye candy or some kind of f*t*sh. Almost none of the danny phantom characters have brown eyes (like 2, whereas everyone has blue, green or purple eyes; bc that's too common for Elmer I guess), which is both weird and vaguely irritating.

I have no idea why this frustrates me so much, it just does. And I feel like I'm gonna explode because of it.

I feel compelled to rant about this. Almost no one's reblogging the Nost version of the the anti-Wes post which is frankly what set me off the most. Why does this make me so angry, I don't understand. I'm pretty sure my opinions don't matter but that's my two angry cents.

im not...........too sure how to respond to this but i understand the frustration at the lack of diversity and all that. the depiction of asian characters in dp makes me sorta uncomfortable and the whole no brown eyes is definitely a problem but yeah

as for the kyle situation: in all honesty, i feel like this was, again, coincidental. someone suggests kyle as an anti-wes and i just so happen to be doing a portrait of him for a zine so i knew an unreasonable amount about him from the get go and jumped on that. then most people latched onto it because they like the being related to wes thing i guess, the nost version should definitely get more attention (though i will admit im not the biggest fan of the name lowkey haha) but idk, its okay to be angry and its okay to be frustrated but im not sure how im meant to respond to this for you

#seance #Anonymous

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

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Mattie & Lulu & Dolly (mostly)

PlanityPlan: Okay, so we wanna get down what Mattie, Lulu and Dolly are like, that’s the main point

PlanityPlan: but then we wanna pinpoint the time of this reunion for their storyline together, so we can then say what Jay is up to, Beckett not really ‘cos he’s a child but we could also say what we wanna do with you eventually here because we are planning to use him but yes, kind of unrelated but not

PlanityPlan: So it’s like, individual story, what they’re like, the lives they’re living, and then the storyline we’ll do with them together

PlanityPlan: OKAY so Mattie doing an accelerated 2-year Maths and Computer Science degree at Greenwich (57, 58) and then her PGCE which takes a year and in this year you do 2 school placements, 2nd placement at the girl's new school after gay teacher drama in Surval, so this 2nd meeting after first failed attempt at contact, in 59

PlanityPlan: Basically, energy being, making contact before starting Uni and the twins are like nah and then we show up at their new school (accidentally) and the twins relationship has suffered so now we have an in

PlanityPlan: OKAY OKAY so Mattie reaches out Summer 57, she's about to start Uni, the twins are 14 and just finished year 10, 58 teacher stuff to happen and come out year 11, 59 we move to new school year 12, Mattie starts placement too

Junie B Jones: The school I found for the twins is called Surval Montreux in Montreux Switzerland and they’d have been going there from age 12 (and leaving at 19) it’s obviously an international school but there’s a heavy focus on French in lessons as obviously because English is usually a 2nd language, but don’t even worry ladies cos there is only a maximum of 10 girls (cos it’s only gals) in your classes and 60 in the entire school

Junie B Jones: worth noting the finishing school bit from 17-19 cos your mother would love that for you and you can share a room no problem as it’s usually 2 or 3 anyways

PlanityPlan: So, do we be evil and say they have to share with another poor gal?

PlanityPlan: ‘cos we could run with that

Junie B Jones: that poor girl requesting a transfer cos they are so odd hahaha but yeah I say there’s potential there even if it was only for a while like maybe it’s lowkey a version of how they put me and Trace in separate classes cos the teachers are like UM

PlanityPlan: I see that, forcing you to stay involved, ‘cos with 60 people you’d have to be all up in each other’s business, like you’re for sure meant to see the teachers as friends/fam too

Junie B Jones: the website was very culty and that energy

PlanityPlan: which brings me to my first idea ‘cos I think it works on many levels beyond being a cliche

PlanityPlan: Okay so, I thought it’d be interesting to have a secret between them ‘cos how hard it’d be to keep

PlanityPlan: and then I thought that it’d be hilarious karma if Dolly had an affair with a female teacher but we actually let it go there

PlanityPlan: ‘cos it’d be a massive scandal even your parents can’t ignore and the girl gives off some gay vibes and it’d be like, a thing they can’t share in if Lulu isn’t gay like we share a boyfriend but we’re not sharing this teacher moment

PlanityPlan: and it’d probably get you both kicked out so we can time it when we want it and Chloe would be fuming about this lesbianism lmao

PlanityPlan: so with the whole culty school like this would be NEWS ‘cos they’re tight with the teachers clearly so it’s like ARE THEY ALL BEING GROOMED lmao

Junie B Jones: Lulu gives off the straightest vibes EVER so I am down & also the vibe that she would love that culty school

PlanityPlan: right so not only have you kept a love affair and gay from me, you’ve also ruined our school moment, it’d really shake them and their weird twin energy to it’s core, which is the fun of it all obvs

Junie B Jones: I see now why you agreed to share a boyfriend hun, also the potential for her to have a gay awakening with the roommate so hitting all those cliches

PlanityPlan: right, I’m not being gross but it’s true that all-girls school girls experiment together, facts, like Lulu probably joined it with it too but it’s like oh you actually like girls for real

PlanityPlan: but if Dolly isn’t just then living her best gay life and is trying to get shit back to how it was, I think it makes it different

Junie B Jones: the tea and also it seems like the kind of school where a teacher would go there, especially if it’s a younger/artsy one like that film Cracks that Imogen Poots was in, soz Nancy but most teachers won’t

PlanityPlan: it’s a cliche with posh schools for a reason, the bond is closer by the fact there’s not 30 kids in a classroom, there’s more opportunity for it to happen because you have actual relationships with all your teachers, whereas in normal schools they barely know your name lol

Junie B Jones: gross but necessary question being how long do you see the relationship spanning in secret before the big reveal

PlanityPlan: it should probably be somewhere between enough that it’s an actual thing that happened and not like, it happened once, like the teacher probably thinks they’re gonna be together if she doesn’t go to jail lol, but not so long that it is like, how’d you not know

PlanityPlan: it’ll be fun to like, play out, see how long we feasibly could

PlanityPlan: and if Lulu finds out before EVERYONE finds out, then she has to decide what to do with this info for a bit too, which would also be good

Junie B Jones: I love that because the twin vibe is very much like oh we can read each other’s minds haha bitch you thought

Junie B Jones: totally can picture Lulu snitching on you ngl gal

PlanityPlan: accidentally fucking yourself over when they kick the lot of yas out, a mood

PlanityPlan: NEW CO-ED SCHOOL IN SURREY, STILL BOARDING

PlanityPlan: maybe Lulu does care more about school in general, but also specifically that school and being one of the girls forever

PlanityPlan: ‘cos then it’s gonna be hard to win her back when you end up in another school, with boys dundundun

Junie B Jones: she very much comes across like that to me, not only because she’s clearly the clingy controlling twin here but I think she clearly likes how small and family like this school is trying to be cos of how chaotic and lacking their home life is, she’s definitely scared of boys & navigating socialising with them without making a tit of herself because of how little dealings she’s had so it’s gonna be a SHOCK

Junie B Jones: dobbing her sister in because 1. You think the teacher will get sacked and it’ll be over 2. You think you can score some points back and stay in the school’s good books

PlanityPlan: It’s honestly sad how much sense it makes, like you really buy all in with the family vibes and then ya twin fucks it all up, rude

Junie B Jones: okay idk how plausible this is but remember in Wild Child aka the greatest film of all time that boy is like the headteacher’s son, what if the boyfriend (Danny Griffin is his IRL name but I’ll give you a french af one in character boy) they share is like the son of someone who works at the school (obvs he doesn’t go there but like he’d have to live nearby and generally loiter) which is part of the reason Lulu picks him cos all the girls would want to but also she could tell him something about this and he’s like UM you have to dob her in

PlanityPlan: I see that, they can’t all be spinsters like this is an enid, they’d have families and stuff, I can vibe it because again, a thing if there’s any male in the vicinity we all lose our minds lol

Junie B Jones: and like obvs that’s why she got with him but there’s potential for an actual relationship to form with this boy on some level if we want

PlanityPlan: Yes, maybe you actually like him, because clearly Dolly doesn’t, have him to yourself hun, but also then you’ll have to move so rude

PlanityPlan: Another reason to be fuming when you were the clingy twin before, role reversal

Junie B Jones: and another reason to not want to leave because I can’t imagine that your parents will move you to another school in Switzerland because it’s tiny and the scandal so literally in a different country

PlanityPlan: yeah, we’d probably move you to the uk like we’re going to be more involved like doubt that lads but you know

Junie B Jones: my thoughts exactly

PlanityPlan: so the question is do we want to do this before Mattie gets in contact or after

PlanityPlan: I’m leaning towards before so then 1. You’ve got a chance of getting in but 2. You can also help or not help them get on better terms, whatever we vibe

Junie B Jones: maybe when she first gets in contact it’s a secret still so we get the best of the both worlds, cos like you’re gonna get stonewalled then hun but when it all pops off you can be there

Junie B Jones: just cos I’m thinking if it’s all happened by the time they’re 16 that’s slightly drama but then again we’ve done worse lol

PlanityPlan: That’s a good idea, it makes the most of it for sure

PlanityPlan: I’m not sure what the age of consent is but that might affect how in deep shit this teacher gets

Junie B Jones: it’d be a way to show how their dynamic and relationship changes from a POV that isn’t just their own

PlanityPlan: for sure and then we can have the outcome be not just down to their new school and their parentals

Junie B Jones: poor Mattie getting way more drama than she expected

Junie B Jones: are you having her go to a UK uni because obviously relevant because this isn’t getting resolved in a summer hol

PlanityPlan: I’m kind of vibing no uni, honestly

PlanityPlan: because a lot of gen 4 do go and it isn’t the only option

Junie B Jones: love that for her tbh

PlanityPlan: So yeah, you’ll be around for sure

Junie B Jones: do you have a job/career in mind yet?

PlanityPlan: not really, like I see you being a bit lost in that sense, which is fine because you’ve got a lot in other respects and you’re looked after, but it’s definitely a vibe of not knowing what you want to do, but not just doing uni ‘cos as most people in that situ do, so you probably have lots of random jobs

Junie B Jones: that’s legit cos loads of people don’t know what they wanna do but don’t have the luxury of taking time to figure it out but she does & lowkey it doesn’t matter if she never does cos like you said she’s fine in a lot of other ways

PlanityPlan: like I won’t let you be insufferable with it and not work and just bum about but you’re just striking me as work-driven, which a lot of characters are again, so I’m not mad

Junie B Jones: I like it

PlanityPlan: So it’s just working out what your actual main motivation is, which I think could be tied into getting in contact with this fam

PlanityPlan: as we’re saying Jay doesn’t really want to, so it’s a difference there

PlanityPlan: and it’ll be good to have it not a total failure if you do make something with the twins but we know you won’t with Chloe so there’s the struggle with that

Junie B Jones: it pleases me because the obvious and cliche thing to do would be to have Jay be the one trying to do this as she actually has memories of and issues with Chlo whereas Mattie is basically Ava’s child

PlanityPlan: and I don’t think it resembles like, Edie’s feelings about Drew and Caleb etc either, it’s not like I NEED you to be my mum because you biologically are

PlanityPlan: it’s just lowkey a curiosity like, people can’t just vanish from our lives like that, like what are they doing, ‘cos you know their main house is still in London too, like it’s just like, why shouldn’t I look into this

Junie B Jones: agreed, it’s not coming from a place of having a deficit, she’s happy and has everything she needs in that sense, so it makes sense for her to only gain from it

PlanityPlan: and it is naive but that is how I vibe her being in a not really annoying way lol, not a jaded character though

PlanityPlan: and it will be shit when Chloe is Chloe but it won’t destroy her or anything it’s just like oh god, what is wrong with her though

Junie B Jones: and that’ll strengthen her relationship with Jay because she doesn’t wanna talk about all of that and you’ll get why in a way that you can’t unless you experience the crazy that is Chloe for yourself

PlanityPlan: exactly, like that can be a source of strain between you when you’re first deciding to do this

PlanityPlan: and you’d give Chloe a few chances ‘cos like I said you aren’t looking for a mum so you’d be trying to lowkey work it out and being empathetic so she’d probably actually love that ‘cos she’s a narcissist so it’d be a bit dicey

PlanityPlan: suddenly wants to tell you every drama in her life like poor me

Junie B Jones: how real

PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can think you’re like objective and just putting the mystery together but you’re gonna get dragged in, clearly

PlanityPlan: especially combine this with the twin drama which you do genuinely care about

Junie B Jones: mhmm, Lulu is gonna drag you in gal, not like she can bring these emotions and drama to her new school when it’s a scandal and this is supposed to be a fresh start

PlanityPlan: which is what you were warned about/one of the reasons we left it ‘til you were grown but you’ll have to work this all out, which will be good

PlanityPlan: ‘cos you can’t be dealing with your younger sister’s drama instead of living your own life but clearly at a point here we are ‘cos bit lost

Junie B Jones: you’re so clever boo, this is such a good idea that flows

PlanityPlan: heheh, I think it makes sense if you’ve had such a chill upbringing and the twins have not that this chaos can take over your life and drag you in

PlanityPlan: I’d like to think we all get to a healthy place gals but we’ll see tbh

PlanityPlan: as for who Dolly is… I think she never bought into the school as hard, like it’s probably better than home, not that we’d know, but we’re not like omg this is IT

PlanityPlan: same with the boyfriend clearly, none of it is as real but the twin bond is so like may as well until the gay drama comes along

PlanityPlan: but then that’s lowkey over before it’s begun so then we go into overdrive of trying to win her back

Junie B Jones: which Lulu is not having sis

PlanityPlan: like in reality we should accept our truth and start working on separate personalities but we’re like no no

Junie B Jones: potential for how far aka too far she can try and take winning her back, like that creepy book energy

PlanityPlan: deffo, like we’ll have to think of ways but if we’re going all-in on this, there isn’t reason not to

PlanityPlan: ‘cos we don’t care about school or whatever mum and dad are saying or doing

Junie B Jones: not gonna kill you off gal but oh the possibilities for danger cos lbr your grandparents can’t stop you either clearly

PlanityPlan: bless them they’re alright people but obvs a bit useless for all this to happen lmao

Junie B Jones: hence I vibe that Lulu totally walks all over/ has them wrapped around her little finger like Chloe did but more subtly because she has no nuance

PlanityPlan: deffo, oh lads

Junie B Jones: which is a shame when they could literally give you the family energy you want without need for a creepy cult school but hey, you’ve been taught to treat them like that

PlanityPlan: exactly

PlanityPlan: they should’ve lowkey took you in but we’re too posh for that and you’ll probably be fine right lmao

Junie B Jones: at least Dolly can stay with them when her parents are literally hate criming her

PlanityPlan: sad that you won’t ‘cos getting back in that closet so hard like will you forgive me if I’m straight and we’re still the same

Junie B Jones: it’s really sad like this isn’t sustainable huns and shouldn’t have been allowed to be a thing for this long

PlanityPlan: at least Mattie does have fresh enough eyes to be like, respectfully, maybe let’s not do this

Junie B Jones: just like Lulu don’t haze your sister thank you

PlanityPlan: right, I think this gives us energy to go on for all y’all

PlanityPlan: *** so the energy now is she can get more drawn in because she's literally there living at the school too, and after the placement, she's getting a permanent position at the school, so we can actually work through this together and have relationships etc etc

#gen 4 #mattie pemberton howard #dolly blossom farrington stone

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

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i always think the reactions to different whumpers are fascinating, and honestly it highlights something very interesting. Bram? Calon Nie? those two feel very divorced from the “real world,” mostly due to them being fantasy creatures by nature and just being so... outlandishly inhuman. they’re villains you love to hate. they’re fun. even Karen falls into that category, because she’s not someone you’re likely to find in real life. but Oliver Branch? Corrine? whoever that bitch was that argued with Chris was (forgot her name whoops lol)? a child predator and an abusive mother and a privileged girl? they’re hated with real, burning hatred because they feel like someone you could encounter. they’re real monsters from real life. it’s a really interesting divide

This is something I've talked a little bit about before when it comes to Owen. Abraham is fantastical, and a little exaggerated, and doesn't really strike you as someone you would see in life... Whereas in the end, Owen is just an abusive boyfriend, and a Nice Guy™, and you see and interact with men like that all of the time.

Corinne Michaelson is emotionally abusive to her son even outside of her decision to adopt him. Patrick Michaelson is immensely neglectful and only barely aware his oldest son exists. They essentially pit Ryan and Danny against each other as a scapegoat and golden child situation. These are people that you see all the time.

Oliver Branch is a child predator.

Callie is an immensely privileged person who, when she has that privilege pushed back against, reacts with a defensive need to cling on to what she understands and knows and was taught, and isn't really capable of looking outside of that narrow worldview. Everyone knows people like that. is she evil? No, she's a college kid who has literally never looked outside of her bubble before. But that does mean that she hurts Chris, and badly, and doesn't particularly care about that or even begin to understand it.

Karen is a cold executive, which is fairly normal, but also her personality and methods are written in ways that make her fantastical and less realistic, so she kind of rides the line between an Abraham and an Owen situation in my mind.

I tried to balance that with equally realistic depictions of people who have a positive influence on my character's lives as well... Natalie yoder, in the end, is also a very wealthy woman... Choosing to use that wealth to help instead of hurt. Jake is just a college kid with a nasty childhood who decides to try and make things better, even if he can't make them right.

Eshiram and the others in that class who walked out with Chris, and stood up for him, were in a position where it might have been better for them personally to simply let Chris take the fall, and take the blame, and stare down at their desks and remain silent. Instead, they backed him up.

Grandma Ruth and Jaden are the people who stare out their windows and talk about what everyone else on the street is doing and a tweenager who seriously would rather be doing anything else... But that nosiness comes in handy when they witness violence perpetuated against their neighbor and choose to step outside and help.

All of the neighbors if you think about it, would have been safer choosing to ignore what happened and leave Chris alone for 3 days and pretend they didn't know anything about it.

Instead, they come together to take care of him and fix up the house and make it clear that even if they can't rebuild everything that's wrong, they can rebuild this one small thing, and make this one small difference, and hope that snowballs into something bigger.

So, I try to write people who could realistically exist in a universe in which all of these things are happening. It's not that much different than our own, just some of the context changes.

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alexandriteobscuraarchive · 3 years

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~The Assistant needs to pin Danny for once! (Be it for something fun or dangerous or both~ hehehe~)

Touch my muse

He'd seen it before on the surface during one of their very few 'normal' sessions. That anxious full body thrum; as if she were closer to a live electrical wire rather than flesh and blood, meant that she was nervous. Agitated. Excited. Potentially reckless. Her usual meekness had, for what was undoubtedly going to be a short period of time of this he had no doubt, been replaced with a restless energy that was....interesting to watch. And fun to instigate as well. The prisoners and patients on the surface had been jumpy in a similar way, usually right before doing something violent....

And so they found themselves working side by side in the well lit backroom. The doctor and his precious assistant both working in methodical but ever watchful silence sorting the empty jars arranged on one of the far tables, both empty and not, present on the floor. She still couldn't stomach that part of it and as an act of kindness Danny allowed her to solely clean and reorganize the containers lacking in the oh so important 'specimens' whereas he organized the rest---and always by COLOR, of course.

They're about halfway done when Danny's rhythmic movements change direction, his right hand dipping into his pocket as if he might've placed a jar in his coat by accident only to withdraw holding the forceps he always carries before setting the slender tool on the table between them. The clink is almost indiscernible, generating an oddly soft sound no more important than the clink of glass and the squeak of cleaning cloth. She was fun to instigate, after all.

"You seem rather....distracted....today, Kala. Is something bothering you?" He could easily name a few things on his own---not to mention a few things on some very 'special' levels, oh yes---so Danny isn't bothered when her response is another of those fitful little jumps and a shake of the head....not to mention her hand quickly jerking away for the thing it'd been reaching for; that sharp little encouragement he'd set down for her. "No? Well you know I'll always listen if you change your mind---"

Danny is interrupted partway through the word 'mind' as a surprisingly frantic strong grip first wraps around his arm and yanks forcing him to turn and then followed immediately by a bodily shove against his chest. He doesn't fight; but rather welcomes it as his companion drives him to the floor with the only sign of any pain coming out as a hiss from between his teeth as the back of his head briefly connects with the previously cleaned tile floor. That hiss transitions to a small gasp as he's maneuvered yet again, his head and shoulders being forced up somewhat awkwardly from the floor by the fact that she's clutching his tie in her fist.

What he'd thought of as thrumming before was now a full on upheaval. Danny could feel every inch of her slender frame vibrating against him as she straddled him as best she could with her knees. It'd be tremendously easy to overpower her and push her off but why not let her have some fun? The hand holding the forceps aloft is shaking too; the slender metal tool winking in the light as it hovers unsteadily over his left eye. Her face is trembling too, her usually pale complexion now flushed and her coveted blue eyes dark with a mixture of emotions he'd eventually pick through one by one. Eventually. What a great marker of PROGRESS. What a way to get HIS ATTENTION.

"Ahh, I see..." His voice comes out in a gentle, unworried whisper framed by a decidedly warm smile which no doubt lessens her already threadbare resolve even more. He’s reacting as if this were a commonplace occurrence---or perhaps something more INTIMATE between them---and it’s clearly throwing her off. “Are you feeling trapped? Claustrophobic perhaps...?” Trapped by what, exactly? The building? Him? How silly...! Danny’s left hand rises from its prone position on the floor, his fingertips at first grazing against the young woman’s fist perilously suspended over his face and then lingering there for a few seconds before moving on. The flush present upon her face deepens as the doctor’s hand finally comes to rest against the side of her face, his fingers idly brushing some of her blonde hair out of the way. It’s a gesture that’s so loving, so completely out of step with the current situation, that combined with everything else it manages to break her entirely.

The hand wrapped around the forceps moves but rather than plunge the much used tool downwards and into his face she flings it to the side as if the metal had burned her skin before bowing her head slightly and; judging by the sounds now coming from her mouth and how her breathing changes, succumbing to tears.

“Poor thing....my poor little assistant....” So cute. So needy. Desperately so, even. Danny follows her movements immediately, his hand now gently stroking the top of her head. “There’s no need to feel that way, not with me here.” What else could she possibly need? Nothing, as far as he was concerned. He’d make sure of it.

#;;ask response: ic the assistant #;;ask response: ic danny #;;ask response: with squiggles #I know you didn't specify the meme itself but it's appropriate enough! now guess where my special focus is LMAO #I behaved myself...just a little..just a smidge #he can always get closer to her another time uwu~

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thesoulspulse · 4 years

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Danny Phantom Random Episode Thoughts (Part 2)

Note: Wow, I didn’t expect you guys to like this so much since these are old notes I wrote down while watching the show mostly for story research. I’m glad you do though and I should have enough notes atm for 4 parts of this episode thought thing. That being said, I totally want to go back and rewatch the series from the start again and finish up my little notes. So when I do I’ll probably share more later on! For now though enjoy part 2!

Part 2

Maddie has an older sister named Alisha who lives in Spittoon Arkansas, and given what Jack said about being born in the woods I'm kinda assuming they all grew up together or Jack moved there with his family or vice versa.

The ghost portal was randomly left open while he was cleaning the house to please his parents and he didn't do anything about it til the next day.

The Box Ghost's lair is where items from the real world that get lost end up, that's kinda cool actually.

Walker recognized Danny in human form and ghost form so he had probably already heard all about him from another ghost.

Ghosts don't need to eat but do out of habit to remind them of what it was like when they were alive, it's like a reflex.

Danny encountered Dora in the Ghost Zone but forgot they had already met before, but this was before he found out her name too later on in the series.

Walker's Goons are armed with weapons designed to drain/block ghost powers.

People and objects from the real world can phase through the walls and floors in the Ghost Zone, but they can't turn invisible and can touch things normally otherwise.

Its confirmed that Danny doesn't get an allowance, that's so unfair since he's expected to do most of the household chores whereas his sister isn't as far as I can tell.

Danny, Sam , and Tucker all have electric Scooters.

Danny has a 10pm curfew, which all things considered at least compared to mine growing up is pretty interesting. Especially since that also included being outside or at someone's house during that time meaning he'd have to travel home in the dark since I don't see his parents picking him up from a friend's house.

Jack and Maddie took Danny and Jazz out of school for 4 days to join them during their 20th college reunion. They spent the first night in the RV, the 2nd at Vlad's which is when Danny meets him as Plasmius, the 3rd day was the reunion itself, and they drove home on the 4th day.

Jack wore his jumpsuit in college too which makes me think that his parents were probably scientists of some kind.

Vlad has actual torches and candles in his castle mansion in Wisconsin, guess he wanted to keep some of his castle retro!

When Danny saw Skulker back in his ectoskeleton he was surprised so this must have taken place before the prison episode when Walker locked Danny up with a bunch of his other ghostly enemies.

Sometimes Danny's eyes turn randomly green, and it doesn't seem like its because of his powers bleeding through because sometimes the close up is of his face in ghost form since you can see white hair too even though he's still supposed to be human. Just another animation error.

Vlad originally used mostly green energy to show off his powers and teleport with, not pink.

Jack was aware enough of himself to realize a ghost, aka Plasmius, was possessing him and tried to resist. Most people fall under possession right away.

And that’s it for part 2! Hope you liked it and stay tuned for the rest of my random episode observations! And down below there’s a link to part 1 if you missed it or want to take another look!

Part 1: https://thesoulspulse.tumblr.com/post/615851196776890368/danny-phantom-random-episode-thoughts-part-1

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marvelousmatt · 4 years

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The Accidental Comedy of Matt Berry

The star of IFC’s detective-series spoof ‘Year of the Rabbit,’ famed for his booming voice and over-the-top faces, never set out to be funny

Matt Berry as Detective Inspector Rabbit in 'Year of the Rabbit.' Ben Meadows/IFC

If you know Matt Berry from his most famous roles — such as The IT Crowd’s idiot boss Douglas Reynholm, Toast of London’s pompous struggling actor Steven Toast, or the preening and lascivious vampire Laszlo on What We Do in the Shadows — talking to him over the phone is sort of like meeting his un-evil twin. Where his characters are outrageous and inappropriate, Berry is circumspect and gentlemanly. While they pronounce every word as if they’re doing Shakespeare in the Park, with a ponderous theatricality, his signature rich baritone comes over the line from London sounding muted by comparison. It’s as though he’s playing the straight man in a sketch of his own life.

Whatever absurd and profane notions he has rattling around in his head, Berry saves them for his work. His latest offering, IFC’s Year of the Rabbit (a collaboration among Berry, producer Ben Farrell, and writers Andy Riley and Kevin Cecil), is a send-up of the period detective shows that are a staple of British television. Set in Victorian times, it centers on his titular character, Rabbit, a cranky copper who bumbles through every episode but slyly solves the whodunit in the end — a kind of gruff, English Columbo in a waistcoat. In the “why not” fashion typical of Berry’s comedy, the character is missing an eyebrow (a trait the show repeatedly explains away with the intentionally unconvincing line that it was chewed off by a dog last Christmas). He’s named Rabbit — his actual first name, with no surname — not because of any correlation with, say, the Chinese calendar, but because… well, just because.

“His father couldn’t be bothered giving any of the kids any normal names, so he just named them after animals and then left them outside a church,” Berry says matter-of-factly, as if Rabbit and his father are real. Pressed on the matter, he adds, “We have a huge history over here of these shows, Agatha Christie and stuff, and they all have these names, Inspector This and That. I just wanted to do something stupid with that — give him an animal name and not anything else. So he really is as earthy as you can get in that way. There’s nothing fancy about him at all.”

Rabbit is an inveterate boozehound with a colorful vocabulary. He beats up a schoolteacher on career day to demonstrate interrogation techniques to the children. He tells his rookie partner that the way to keep warm during a wintertime stakeout is to piss himself. He describes the London of his day as “a rat eating its own babies. Babies made of shit. And once it’s eaten its own shit babies, it shits them out again.” He is paired, reluctantly, with two bright-eyed and bushy-tailed colleagues to form a crack investigative team, a juxtaposition which only underscores his baser qualities.

“He’s basically trying to hide the fact that he’s incredibly hungover and not firing on all cylinders,” Berry says. “Whereas his younger sidekicks won’t be, because when you’re that young, you know, you get over a hangover by like 10 o’clock in the morning. I wanted him to be dull, in terms of reactions to things, but effective.”

Robert Bathurst, Matt Berry, and Harry Peacock in Toast of London. Photo Credit: Kuba Wieczorek/IFC/CH4

Ineptitude and buffoonery are much more the calling cards of Steven Toast, whose massive ego blinds him to his own failings. He is an oblivious object of mockery at the hands of his voiceover producers, a pair of douchey hipsters named Clem Fandango and Danny Bear, and his mistress, Mrs. Purchase (wife of Toast’s acting nemesis Ray “Bloody” Purchase), looks eternally bored during their trysts. His long-suffering agent has to force him to become a laxative pitchman, yet he complains that she’s not scoring him Oscar-caliber roles.

If Toast is the character closest to Berry’s heart, it’s for good reason. Despite a brand of humor that seems firmly rooted in the British tradition — the surreality and silliness of Python, the cartoonish prurience of Benny Hill — Berry, 45, maintains that he wasn’t especially interested in comedy growing up. He cites as his primary influence not comedic greats such as Peter Sellers or contemporaries like Steve Coogan, but “straight actors, people that normally weren’t trying to be funny.” The more “mannered” and “self-important” the star, Berry says, the funnier he found them. The line to Toast is clear — especially in his puffed-up diction and bizarrely exaggerated pronunciation of ordinary words (such as his praise of guest-star Jon Hamm’s “charismaaaaaaaeeeeeee”). Imagine the famous outtakes of a drunk Orson Welles filming a Paul Masson wine commercial, and you’re on the right track.

Berry’s career in comedy came as a complete surprise to him. He grew up in the hamlet of Bromham in Bedfordshire, about two hours north of London, in a wholly unartistic family who had “normal, decent jobs,” he says. “My mom was a nurse, my sister went into law — nothing like what I ended up doing.” Still, his parents were totally supportive — worried, but supportive — as he stumbled through temp gigs and patches of unemployment as a young man.

He was far more interested in painting and music — and, in fact, today is an accomplished musician who’s recorded eight studio albums (prog rock-ish, inflected with funk) as well as the scores and themes to numerous TV series, including Toast. That show’s frequent musical interludes, gonzo song parodies a la Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, speak to Berry’s true comedic beginnings. In between stints at the London Dungeon — a haunted-house experience where actors play figures from gruesome corners of the city’s past, like Jack the Ripper — he managed to book solo gigs as a singer-songwriter. But he found that spiking his performances with humor won over a crowd.

Natasia Demetriou and Berry in What We Do In the Shadows. Byron Cohen/FX

“I was playing before comedians, and the gigs just seemed to go quicker and better if I put some comedy into the songs or the bits in between the songs,” Berry says. “I only did it so I’d fit in with what was going on after. Then I really got to like it.”

Fellow performers Richard Ayoade and Matthew Holness noticed his act, and cast Berry in a horror/sci-fi spoof they created called Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace. From there, his television career exploded, with recurring roles in several series before his breakout in 2007 with The IT Crowd. Despite a nomination for “best newcomer” at that year’s British Comedy Awards and a 2015 BAFTA for Best Male Performance in a Comedy for Toast, Berry insists he doesn’t have any particular aptitude for the form, and draws a blank when it comes to defining his style. Mostly, he chalks it up to timing (“Whether it’s music or comedy, that’s the most important thing for me”) — as well as a lack of training.

“I’m not held back by any sort of rules and regulations in terms of performance,” he says. “I’ll just do what feels natural, and because nobody’s said in the past, ‘Well you can’t really do that, because of this,’ you just do it. If it works, it works, and if it doesn’t, you just try something else.”

He does acknowledge one foolproof stylistic flourish that may be deeply ingrained: a true relish for the scatological and sophomorically sexual. See: Laszlo’s vulva topiaries, or the preposterously elastic faces Toast makes while he’s shagging Mrs. P (“Hang on — my balls are about to fizzzz!”) or pleasuring himself to old-timey images of women in military uniforms. A key moment in Rabbit involves the inspector having a pocketful of dog poop.

“I suppose that’s the British toilet humorist in me,” Berry admits. “It doesn’t matter where you go in Europe, toilet humor is enjoyed by all. Being from the U.K., it’s in you, like, from birth. You know, if you’re little and people are laughing at something all around you, it kind of sticks. If it’s something that my granddad laughs at and my dad laughs at, there’s a good chance that I’ll laugh at it, too.”

#matt berry #year of the rabbit #what we do in the shadows

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redrobin-detective · 3 years

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wait isn't there a dc hero who is just a ghost that can't interact with most stuff without possessing someone and does hero stuff by possessing people. i think his name is deadman. imagine the confusion if deadman ended up in Amity Park

Do you mean Boston Brand, my beloved? I love Deadman so much does the root of my love stem from my origins as a DP phan? most likely I’d say and he’s such an interesting character with a unique place in the DCU. Every comic he appears in is a special thrill of Hai there Boston!!!!

Anyway, I may or may not have uhhhh given considerable thought to how Deadman intersects with DP. So Boston’s ghostliness is uh a little more spiritual in nature. He was given the ability to interact in a limited capacity with the living via the godly caretaker of the hidden city, Nanda Parbat (massive simplification don’t fight me fellow DC nerds). That said, he is aware of the Zone and other ghosts he just doesn’t really go there all that often since he’s pretty stuck in the real world.

99% of ghosts, in DP and DC, are like Boston and can’t really have any effect on humanity. Boston himself is strong enough to be able to possess the living and make contact but most ghosts can’t in normal circumstances. Amity Park is not normal. The whole town was one big liminal space even before they had a giant ghost portal leaking ectoplasmic energy everywhere. It’s a big reasons ghosts go to the small town, its got enough latent ghost energy that they can have physical form whereas they can’t in most other places. Amity Park has another thing, it has Danny. I think I made a post about this but Danny also creates a strong ectoplasmic field that unknowingly strengthens other ghosts around him. If Danny were to go to, let’s say New York, his aura would give strength and potentially even form to nearby ghosts.

Boston knew about Phantom long before he met the kid. He knows there’s a stable ghost portal in the midwest, knows that ghosts come and go freely but he also knows that situation is concentrated to Amity and is being managed by a powerful, ghostly spirit. Boston thinks Phantom is like him, another poor dead soul who’s keeping people safe while they worked through their own death. It’s something he knows but doesn’t bring up to the JLA bc it’s not really relevant until one day it is.

When he gets in Danny’s vicinity he realizes several things very fast: 1. Danny is crazy powerful and they’d have a hard time taking him down if it came to that 2. He’s a ghost but still can easily interact with the living and world around him unlike Boston 3. He can make other ghostly things able to interact with the world (he almost cries when he speaks and his coworkers turn to look at him) and 4. holy fuck this kid is a ghost but is also still alive. While humans can’t tell Phantom apart from other ghosts, the dead take one look at Danny and just know that he’s still carrying the spark of life they themselves are missing. It’s a lot for an undead circus acrobat to handle.

Anyways, he and Constantine become Danny’s primary contacts in the JLA. They all come to an arrangement that Danny will mostly stay in Amity and only be brought into JLA related missions if he’s absolutely needed, likewise, the League will be there if Danny needs help. Boston and Danny get along pretty well, they have vastly different circumstances but they’re both ghost superheroes so it checks out. Boston delights in helping Danny out with ghost lore and working on the more finicky of his powers. The kid unnerves him, he’s unnatural and his power radiates off him like a furnace. But he’s a good kid and Boston does his best to ensure Danny gets the most out of his human life before it’s taken. Amity soon gets used to seeing the Deadman floating over their city, playfully bantering with Phantom in his characteristic thick New York accent. Just another day in the most haunted city in America.

#I need a tag for this AU #OP danny phantom #DP/DC crossover #boston brand my beloved #let Danny have a spooky ghost hero mentor #let boston become more physical and get his own ghostly pal #Anonymous

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ceruleanmusings · 4 years

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Um. Hello. Why have I not heard about Munro (so?) before? Tell me all the things!! Who does he interact with best? Where is the sparkage? Who would be his BFF? Who would he quite literally die for? Or better who would he live for?

Because I’ve kept my baby Munro a secret for a while as I worked to figure out how he would fit in my TW universe. But now that Logan Lerman’s doing more acting at the moment, he’s been busting at the seams in my mind. Also the spelling is right because why spell people’s names normally when I don’t have to? (also, full disclosure, I completely forgot that there is a Monroe in 6B (the crazy guidance counselor that turns into a hunter) but that’s her last name so I’m sticking with this.)

But this is what I know about him so far!

Munro interacts the best with and thus, is BFFs with, Danny! Because Danny needs more friends after Jackson leaves and he’s going to end up having a bigger part in my TW series than the show gave him (curse you Jeff Davis!) I mean, come on, Danny finds out about the telluric currents, is dating a werewolf, and is on the fringe of all the supernatural shit and doesn’t have anyone to talk to about it? That does not fly with me. Munro can be a cocky shit like Jackson but not enough that makes Danny want to reevaluate why he’s friends with him nor is constantly exasperated.

After him, he interacts the best with Lydia because he doesn’t kiss her ass and after walking up to a few dead bodies at the same time as her, his curiosity about her is piqued. Not in a Stiles obsession the sun sets on her kind of way but in a way that clearly the image she projects (nice hair, nice clothes, dolled up) doesn’t fit with the world she’s entering but she can still hold her own and exude some sort of power despite being initially lost and rather than sinking into it still does her best to find answers. Which he gets and can relate to.

And then after her it’d be Mel but that has less to do with her natural (and somewhat supernatural) ability to charm people and more to do with a plan I’m still working out for them (which can be found on my blog if anyone wants to be super spoiled but I’m still figuring out how to cement that plan).

On the opposite end, though, for real he wonders exactly how Scott and Stiles got as far as they did. He just finds them so…bafflingly clumsy and naive. He’s been dealing with supernatural stuff on his own up until then and feels far ahead than they are. He tends to ignore Stiles’s entire existence rather than deal with the snarking like Isaac does. So he spends a lot of time rolling his eyes and shaking his head at their antics though when the whole True Alpha idea comes along it does make him take a step back.

Eventually he’d die for the girls, as much as they (especially Allison) wouldn’t want him to do that. But in his mind it’s less that he’s dying for them rather that he’s dying to give them more time. He knows he’ll always come back (or so he thinks) so as long as he’s a casualty, it’s one less member of the pack they have to worry about.

Who he would live for…is a really good question and I think you actually have me stumped! I only know bits and pieces of him so far. I know where he starts and I know vaguely where he ends up but the middle part, where he’d make and strengthen different relationships, is what would cement my answer to that question. But I don’t know. I’ll revisit this one.

As for your sparkage question, I assume you mean what triggers his powers (and pleas elet me know if I’m way off, I read your question two different ways), and I’m not entirely sure how I want it to go down yet. Either they’ll kick in when he’s under duress and it’s needed for self defense or they’ll kick in when he gets really angry (which is cliche, I know, but that’s temporary until I can find a new spin on having fire-based abilities). As for finding dead bodies when Lydia finds them, it’s like the opposite of her abilities. Her banshee abilities help her find dead bodies or predict someone’s death whereas his powers helps him find souls that he could save and revive. But it doesn’t happen for every dead body. There’s certain rules that come into play.

Come ask me about my new OC bby, Munro Fox!

#zadien #answered #munro fox

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askeletonintheclosetfic · 4 years

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The one with new pens and phone numbers

June 29, 1986.

Yesterday, I shared the lyrics I had written with Ceecee, who looked at them with this look of excitement on her face as if I had just penned the next "Blackbird". She took the lyrics and began strumming her guitar, and within time, she invented a riff for this song, this new untitled song, solely driven by her playing. I figured she's the maestro for this song whereas I'm basically just following her along. After a couple of takes, we decided that I sing on the second bar leading in.

We practiced it all day in her bedroom until we knew the words and music by heart. It took me a while to realize I had penned the song after the two of us meeting and then living near a place where that murder went down. It was particularly obvious in the chorus:

"don't wash it away, don't wish it away. Two shadows wondering in the dark, with the words unspoken and the cold of death. We are alive in the flesh light."

Since it was just us there at her house, we decided we would save this song for a rainy day, whenever that may be in the future.

Today, meanwhile was a normal day wherein Ceecee, Clara, and I met up with the boys again, all of them, at about eleven-thirty in the morning. The paranoia was hanging over us, the heavy feeling as we drove on past the house, the site of the murder scene. But the feeling soon waned away once we passed through the neighborhood and made our way out of Burien and into town.

This time around, we were outside of the venue that Metallica was supposed to play at the other day, but as it turned out, the show had been postponed for about a week. We met up at the Coliseum, a tall ivory white building of cinder block and pale brick lined with pitch black trimming, done such that it resembled an old fashioned casino. Metallica's drummer Lars, this cute short boy with long shaggy, disheveled hair and bright green eyes, and an odd accent that I knew from the get-go wasn't American, met up with us there at will call from all the way down the far side of the building. He invited us back there, mainly to get us out of the crowd, but partially to find the guys all congregated in the alleyway there behind the venue. There's a low brick wall there holding back a row of little ornamental cherry blossom trees, where they all congregated at for about half an hour, and I knew why because the trees cast enough shade since, at that point, the sun rose higher into the sky and everything began to warm up.

Lars assured the three of us that they hadn't been waiting for us for very long, given the main reason for them showing up was to find out details on the show. Apparently the delay was par in thanks to the promoters scrambling to find more money to promote the whole date with them and Ozzy.

Today's the eve of my birthday and when I told that to Joey and James, the reactions I got from both men varied from each other so much that I can't hardly seem to put my head around it.

Joey removed his mirrored sunglasses and coaxed me in closer to his body for a hug. I have given Ceecee plenty of hugs, and my parents both plenty of hugs, but he had to have been the best, given he held me so close. He rested his hand on the back of my head to hold me right up against his chest. His long spidery fingers entwined their way through my hair; and even though his body is so slim and slender in its build, he felt strangely silky, a feeling of which I can only describe as something akin to holding a teddy bear.

I gazed up at him and the late morning sun bathing over the back of his head, like he was wearing a crown, like an Indian prince. He showed me that little Mona Lisa smile once again and said, "happy birthday" in that suave voice laced with that Italian influenced upstate New York accent.

But on the other hand, James seemed less than enthusiastic about it. He sat there on the low brick wall with a thoughtful look upon his already stern face, and his bright eyes shaded from the sun by the prominence of his brow, and his hands resting upon his knees. A man of few words, but he could've at least given me a smile or blew me a kiss like what Metallica's guitarist Kirk did for me. He was such a far cry from what I witnessed the couple of days before at the restaurant. So closed off now, a stretch of unknown territory.

I asked Clara about it earlier after we came home and she told me it could've been from the fact he and I opened up to each other too soon, and he was retracting a bit. But there's something about him, like how there's something about Joey. Something that's calling me back to him anyway.

(Charlotte's note: perhaps it could be left over from the fact that a rather brutal murder happened awfully close by and Chris is wanting to uncover some emotions? I know I would.)

Either way, the bunch of us chatted for a bit there outside of the venue. Next to James, Metallica are these four guys from San Francisco, originally Los Angeles but relocated to be closer to their bassist Cliff. The exception was Lars, whom I found out hailed all the way from Denmark. Meanwhile, Anthrax kept up their friendly New Yorker demeanor toward the three of us. Just a bunch of guys, a bunch of guys willing to chat with three girls who happened to stumble upon their music by accident and then were whisked into their little circle all because of Clara.

At around three o'clock, or around the time in which they all had to file inside for sound check, Scott declared we do the honors before the show and exchange numbers with each other. Clara, who explained to Anthrax's bassist and drummer Frank and Charlie how she made her art in that she uses nothing more than the feeling of her hands and arms over paper, had brought a brand new pen in which she would do some abstract work with later this summer, so the nine of them were careful to use it on the pad of paper Frankie had taken out of his pocket.

He was all too kind towards Clara, saying she could shatter some glass ceilings with her art given she lacked sight. I could see it between the two of them, just the way he was gentle in guiding her closer to him and Charlie, and the way he let her caress his lanky arms, his shoulders, and his toned chest.

"I can tell you're handsome," she remarked, showing him a grin from behind her pitch-dark shades. "Handsome in a big way."

Joey then made a joke about starting a cover band of his own if and when he got the chance and calling it Chief Big Way, which got a laugh out of both her and Ceecee.

Ceecee, meanwhile, took attention to Kirk and Cliff, the former this slender dark skinned guy, about the same height as Joey, and with a lot more rich black curls about the crown of his head. Where Joey's toned, slender, and solemn, Kirk has a mischievous twinkle in his eye and a little baby face that makes me think of high school age. Cliff, on the other hand, towers over us with long straight locks of light brown hair and kind of a deep, serious look in his eye. Ceecee describes him as the tower of power.

And then there's Danny of Anthrax and Lars of Metallica, two guys who helped out the three of us with their intelligence and their quick wit. They all seemed to twin each other, these nine men hailing from opposite ends of the country--and in Lars' case, the other side of the world. And yet, they all had one thing in mind and that was to treat the three of us well.

After Mom had once again advised the three of us to stay safe, we were willing to take any chance whatsoever to connect with these men. Even after we headed into the venue to oversee sound check, one of the Coliseum's stagehands strolled on over to us to tell us that the show had been cancelled given the lack of money to handle all of the dirty work, we still walked out of there with the golden tickets, their numbers, to give them a ring whenever either of us had a moment.

But I think what's interesting is even after the bunch of us were told that the show was cancelled, Lars suggested Ceecee and I give a show.

The two of us. Play a show for these guys as Black Moon in the midst of the hot summer day.

Granted, we had to hustle on back home to fetch our guitars, but we did it. And we returned with the cases on our backs to find they had congregated behind the venue with a couple of the stagehands close by as security guards. I should mention Ozzy's dressing room was right upstairs, right up above our heads.

But Ceecee and I set up there on the sidewalk, under the rich golden light of this summer day with nothing more than our acoustic guitars slung over our shoulders. No fancy amps, no microphones, nothing fancy to help us out. Just the two of us while Clara behaved as usher using her cane.

I served the duty as singer as we covered Heart.

I'll admit that it was a bit nerve-racking since up to that point, Clara had acted as our audience. But there was a point in which I gazed on right at Joey, right into his deep brown eyes and the pensive look on his face. At one point, he gazed on at me as if he had been touched by the sound of my voice. And I hadn't heard him sing before, either.

At another point, I glanced over at James, who still had the same stoic look upon his face. But I could see it in his eye. I was tapping into the minds of these two men by merely singing and doing a halfhearted way of playing guitar. Ceecee is the guitar player: I'm just the girl filling in for her. The highlight was that Scott described us as "Paul Simon and Joan Jett had a love child together."

Soon, as the sun began to sink behind the brick building next door, we decided today was the rainy day. We played the song I had penned two nights ago, one that we hadn't given a name yet. But when I said this was a song that I had wrote, and Danny asked me what it was called, Ceecee filled in, declaring that it's coincidentally called "Black Moon."

She led the way and then I followed suit. I started singing on the second bar, just how we practiced it.

Joey's face softened even more. James even tilted his head to the side as if trying to figure us out.

Soon they figured out the chorus, and Frank and Charlie began chanting "don't wish it away" with me. Kirk and Lars followed suit. Soon we were all singing "don't wish it away" together like a whole gaggle of friends doing karaoke. And at that point, I had completely forgotten the show was cancelled, especially once Joey showed me that Mona Lisa smile again.

And this happened all because I wrote a song about my best friends living near a murder scene... and yet none of them knew about it.

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