#whereas crop big days are like Library's original big day where its just. 'fuck this changes EVERYTHING what do we do NOW'

[explorerspack]

the problem with crop is that every time we have a Big Night I then spend the next week vibrating with the desire to Be Playing Crop at all hours of the day

#like i feel like when library and elantris have Big Days i need to go lie down after #have a nice mug of tea and take a couple nights off #when crop has a big day its just. 'ok ok what NEXT what NOW what do we DO' #i think bc the elantris big days are combats that feel Resolved when we finish them #whereas crop big days are like Library's original big day where its just. 'fuck this changes EVERYTHING what do we do NOW' #'we need to TALK we need to MOVE' #what im saying is. someone come do a scene w me RIGHT now-- #c:crop

[idjitlili]

Swayze

Bard x modern!reader

summary:Imagine going out with Bard to a not very deep river with  ,when telling him about a little fantasy you have had since a child. thank you loteriel_greenleaf for helping me pick a character. xx

word count:1900?

warnings:uh muscles. a/n:sorry for not writing for like two days.

Okay ,okay ,okay so you have been in middle earth for like three years,how did you get here you ask? Yes fourth wall breaking ,can you guess who this is? Deadpool-no,okay anyways. You haven't got a fuck of an idea how you got here only that you dad pushed you into a swimming pool only for you to pass through that and fall into a freezing lake.

Your dad probably freaking out right about now,oh no wheres my daughter oh shit ,shes dead,no what she vanished ,damn I shouldn’t have called her a witch.

When you hit the lake you had lost consciousness,only to wake up a few minutes later coughing up water,laying on your side. Once you turned you eyes had went wide ,next to you a brown haired ,and eyed man sat kneels staring at you. Damn he was handsome with that long hair and mhmm face like gosh damn ,sexy. You were beyond confused ,as you looked around to only see ice and that you were on a bloody boat. "w-where is my dad?" you had spoken pretty well from just coughing up bloody water from almost bloody drowning. The man who was only dressed in a shirt no coat instead that was wrapped around your shoulders ,you were shaking so that definitely helped to be honest.

He had just looked at you confused eyebrows scrunched up ,"your dad? you fell from the sky ,I have no clue ,I want to know how in middle earth that is possible woman."

That's how your life got flipped turned upside down And you'd like to take a minute just sit right there,I'll tell you how you  become the prince of a town called dale. Well not prince maybe queen in a few years ,wink wink.  Anyways you began living with the bargeman you soon knew as Bard ,oh darn he was your will smith to fresh prince.

Anyways you would watch his kids,and in return he fed you and homed you,he even brought you gifts and  dresses.He would take you to the market ,and buy you anything you wanted ,he wasn't poor like he was when you both first met ,especially now he was king.

You had become very close to him and his children; Sigrid and Tilda would tease you saying that their father liked you ,you would tell them no you were just friends. Of course they didnt believe that ,Sigrid and Bain saw the blush upon your cheeks when their father brought you a gift ,or even compliment your hair or bread. You didnt know they would also tease their father ,telling him to get some guts and just tell you how he felt,of course he was nervous.

Dale was almost rebulit now ,you had been living with them for three years, you were starting to lose hope in Bard.

WEll were ,anyways it was like 1 pm on a sunday the kids were out at the library ,as they had homework to catch upon ,well only Tilda but she forgot so Sigrid was helping her. Whilst Bain was out with some of his friends ,doing who knows what. However you  had went  field near a swallow river ,unknownly to you Bard had followed you.You had sat on the edge of a rock bare feet in the swallow water.  You could hear the foot steps now ,making you turn abruptly grabbing a rock only to drop it ,turn your frown into a light smile when you see its Bard.

He lightly grinning,"damn,you followed me?what if i was going to an orgy?" you had teased the bowman/king dude,who scoffed at your words. "you getting it? when? " oyour mouth gapped at his words,your faced scrunched up in fake offence. "wow ,you state the obvious ,like how Bain will lose his virginity before me." okay so maybe you shouldn't have brought his son into this ,you were expecting an lecture but you got a light chuckle as he sat next to you,but didnt put his feet in the water.

"Miss y/n ,I did not know you were a virgin,for such a beautiful woman,thought you would have been courted in the time you have been with us." he had stated simply ,slightly shocked. Your heart sunk,it was clear he didn't want to court you then.  "how many times no miss just y/n/n,also who would I court Alfrid ,oh sorry he's dead, so no one." It wasn't a lie when you thought yourself as anything but beautiful ,in reality you were an angel with your looks even if you couldn't see that yourself.

"no matter what you say ,you are indeed attractive." he had looked at you will softly speaking you had just wiggled your toes in the warm water,it was a hot day,but you felt like it was going to rain later. Trying to hide the blush on your cheeks ,for a couple of minutes neither of you spoke,until you did.

"you know back in my world ,there was this movie,sorry movie is like a play but you can watch it on this box called a tv, they record the original ,its like millions of pictures - okay so its like play thats all that matters. AS a kid it was my favourite ,I would watch it over an over. It was called dirty dancing ,well yeah uh its exactly that well not really. A girl goes to this place for a holiday ,its like a camp where you can learn to dance ,anyways the many dancer gets pregnant ,but cant afford the baby so she gets doctor to get rid of it ,but he's actually a horrible doctor and she gets very hurt. This causes baby the girl who goes to this camp to take over the lead dancer role with Johnny,and he has to teach her. OOh and the dirty dancing bit well they end up doing the dirty to music ,and when I was eight I would re watch the scene over and over-" you try to explain to Bard ,when you saw the lake you thought of the lift ,but you were cut off by Bard.

"So you were 8 ? and you got arroused by a sex scene?! Who let you watch that! I cant imagine what you are going to be like when you finally-" you had gasped at his words ,shoving him playfullly. "hey,hey dont you imagine me like that ,can I get to my point?"you had questioned he had nodded ,shuffing closer to you again,your shoulders touching.

"Anyways ,there was a bit were they had to learn a lift for the dance and they practiced in a lake like this one,I have always dreamed about doing that,so yeah if you were wondering why I was out here ,I like to day dream."he had listened to your words intensely ,before stranding up pulling his jacket off. "W-what are you doing?" you had stood up carefully after him. "why dream of it ,when we can make it happen," your flashed red, you had let out a quiet "okay" as he pulled his boots ,and shirt off you tried not looking but hot damn he was hot. You would have loved if he had a dad body ,but no he was bloody muscular. Damn.

You looked away pulling your dress off swiftly, leaving you in your shorts and a corset in which you had reomoved leaving you in a vest from your home. Bard had looked away ,but why he was going to have to look at you in the water. "Come on." you had ushered grabbing his hand pulling him with you ,as you walked into the water. It was hot day but it didnt mean that water was warm ,it was bloody chilly. Soon the water was up to   Bard's hips when you had said this is far enough. You could feel the fish in the water as stood slightly away from him infront. "how does this lift go,hm?" he had asked looking at your face trying not to make you uncomfortable ,bro its not like the vest was even wet yet so it wasnt see through.

"well,uhm,you put your hands here-" you had walked forward, grabbed his rough large hands placing them on your hips where your skin was bare,from the vest was slightly cropped.  In which he had gripped them slightly. "then I put my hands here-" in which you placed your hands on his shoulders,though they only need to be there until you were off your feet."then when I slightly jump ,you lift me up and then I let go of you ,so its like I'm balancing." you had explained simply as you possibly could, he had nodded understanding in with what you had explained..

You had looked into his brown sorrow eyes,as he stared back into your e/c ones,sorta to make sure he was ready,and when it felt like you had been staring at him too long you had slightly jumpled. In response he had lifted you with ease ,you had brought your arms out to the side like you was a bird as you were held above his head. Bard had looked at you from his steady hands smiling before you had lost your balance falling down,also causing him to fall with you.  Submerging into the water just like how you had both met ,vest sticking to you and becoming see through. Bard had pulled you up so you were both standing in the water like before only super close and super soaking.

You were pushed up against his bare chest as his arms were around your waist."that happened in the movie,a couple of times before they got it." you had stated nervously looking into his big brown eyes ,his wet long hair dripping as did yours sticking to your skin."oh really? well I guess we must do it until we get it" oh how you wished to say thats what she said. Instead you had nodded at the smirking man ,who put his hands on your bare hips again.  

It only took you like seven more tries until you got it and when you did ,he had lowered you down ,wrapping your arms around his neck,whereas his were around your waist. You feet were off the river floor wrapped around him as you clung onto Bard ,grinning down at him,in which he smiled back. "thank you for that,Bard. You are the kindest man I have ever met ,first you save me from drowning in a strange world,then you home me and feed me ,then you make me fall in love with me ,in which I agree is the only bad thing becau-" before you could even panic in regret of your confession he had pressed his lips to yours.

"i love you too ,y/n/n" he had spoken quietly when you had broken the kiss,only for it to start pooring down with rain ,in which you had jumped from bard rushing out of the water ,him following getting dressed,to rush home to your children.

You were brought to middle earth to meet your patrick swayze,though you were so over the moon when you met that cutie hobbit dildo gaggins.

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