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blade-that-was-broken · 8 days

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“Hey Clay?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you don’t really like to talk about your older bro-...”

“Did he call again? Ignore it, he’ll stop. Honestly, he should know better by now,” Clay grumbled, not looking up from his project. Last week, Bruce had called him, out of the blue. It had been a weird phone call, acting as if the last several years didn’t happen. As if Bruce didn’t just pick up and move across the country the moment he could, leaving the rest of them to their mother.

He knew he was holding a ridiculous grudge. It had been years. And Clay might have gotten over it eventually, if Bruce hadn’t replaced them with his perfect family. He barely stayed in contact - even with the brothers who weren’t as mad at him. Branch had been young when Bruce left, barely six years old. Clay wasn’t a whole ton better but at least Branch knew him to an extent. Branch at least knew his favorite color. Clay doubted Branch knew the first thing about Bruce.

“He… he’s here.”

Bruce wouldn’t leave his resort and his wife and well, now his kids. It was like he expected everyone to pick up and go visit him just because he lived on an exotic island or whatever. As if Clay didn’t have responsibilities or Floyd wasn’t constantly traveling. As if it was so easy for Grandma to leave the house and fly across the country. Bruce barely called and he never, ever visited - much less out of the blue like this.

Clay stopped and looked up, his head swiveling around to look back at his best friend. Her curly blonde hair was wrapped up in a messy ponytail, which was fairly normal, but the uncertain and awkward expression on her face was definitely not the norm for her. “What?” he asked, shocked.

She nodded. “Yeah. There is a guy down in the courtyard. He said he’s your older brother.”

Clay shook his head. Bruce would never leave his precious wife and resort to visit him, especially when he knew how much Clay was upset with him. Had been for years. Honestly, aside from one phone call a week or two ago, Clay hadn’t really heard from him in years. Clay could have chalked it up to Bruce just knowing that he was angry with him for abandoning him - them - with their mother the first moment he could, but he barely kept in contact with Floyd and Branch as well. And they didn’t hold the hard feelings that Clay did. Not that Clay was much better; he didn’t talk to any of his brothers much either.

“There is no way,” he protested with a huff, rolling his eyes. She must be mistaken, there was no other option. “He’s never made a trip out here. He would never leave his resort. What is he doing out here?” Viva hesitated, glancing away, which was very strange for her. She was very straightforward and easily excitable. Clay felt his brow furrow a little. “Viva…”

“He’s not… like how you said.”

He just sighed and took a deep breath. Bruce definitely had a way with people; he always had. Granted, Clay probably painted him in mostly a crappy light, due to the fact that whenever the subject did come up - which was extremely rare - it was not often positive. Clay had a lot of anger and probably a lot of resentment. It was a work in progress. “Look, Viv. I know he’s easy to believe. He seems soooooo friendly and charming that you want to just swoon or whatever. He’s got that effect on people but…”

“No.”

“No?” Clay asked, confused. She said it so strong, so flat, so sure and Clay wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“Clay… he’s not like that at all. He was actually really quiet and awkward and super uncertain but held him with some kind of…rigidness? At least as much as he could,” Viva looked uncomfortable, like she had seen something she really didn’t like. He wasn’t sure what that was about. At the moment, he was more hung up on the description which did not sound like Bruce at all.

He scoffed. “Bruce?”

“He didn’t say that was his name,” Viva continued, still uncertain, glancing towards the window. “But you only have one older brother right?”

Clay blinked and his whole world came to a standstill. “I….”

“Clay?”

Older brothers.

There was no way, though. He hadn’t heard anything from him since their parent’s divorce and when he was practically dragged away almost kicking and screaming. Clay barely remembered it; he tried not to. Everyone had been crying but Branch’s screaming, going along with everyone else's tears kind of drowned everything out. It hadn’t been a pretty memory and Clay avoided thinking about it. Coupling that with his mother’s systematic way of erasing anything that evoked him or their father from their house and their lives, it only took a few years for everyone to stop considering them entirely.

His eyes widened. There was no way. There was no way it was possible.

Clay didn’t even think. He bolted out the door, not even bothering to strip off his lab coat. There was no way. It had been at least fifteen years. What were the chances? After fifteen years? There was no way.

He had to be sure.

Making his way down to the courtyard, with Viva shouting after him, he scanned the area upon slamming the doors open. It had been a decade and a half. He had no idea what to look for anymore. They had all changed.

“He’s by the fountain, sitting on the stone wall,” Viva supplied.

That helped. He made his way over, still looking over the area until he spotted a more middle aged guy with short hair and bandages on his arm. When he looked, Viva nudged him, giving him the sign that who she had talked to was him. Definitely not Bruce.

He looked over at Clay and recognized him, suddenly nervous. Clay just stared. That was all he could really muster up to do. “Uh… hi, Clay. I know you might not really remember me but…”

Clay didn’t say a word at first, just launching himself at his big brother, knocking him into the grass behind in a hug. He clearly wasn’t expecting it but he took to the action pretty quickly, wrapping his arms around Clay’s back for support and to keep him from being tossed around.

“John Dory.”

Clay couldn’t remember the last time he thought of him, much less said his name out loud. He hated that. His eyes were squeezed shut, just soaking up the firm grasp his oldest - his oldest - brother had on him. He had so much to say and so many questions but only one happened to come out. It had been fifteen years and now John Dory just showed up out of the blue.

“How did…how did you find me?”

It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say. There was a lot he wanted to say and do but his mouth had run off with him, questioning so much that he really didn’t actually care the answers to. Because he was here. After fifteen years.

“Bruce told me.”

Clay shifted slightly. “B-Bruce?” He supposed it might have been easier to find a resort owner before some crazy older college student. Although Clay felt like he had his name out there more than his other older brother, as he had written papers and had been featured in several journals. Although it might not have been in things John might have looked through. They could be pretty niche.

“I…” John tensed a little and hesitated. “He found me. The hospital found him, I guess? They found him and called him. I’ve been staying with him for my recovery.”

Clay’s heart dropped as he pulled away, trying to assess. He scrambled off his brother, stepping back. “Your what?”

John grimaced.

Viva nudged his shoulder and spoke quietly. “Clay.”

Clay’s eyes were drawn downward. Sure, there were bandages on his arm but John’s grip didn’t seem to be very weak so he doubted that would be so debilitating and honestly, his legs seemed fi-… where was his leg?

“W-Where is your leg?”

“Sudan… I think?”

Clay just stared.

“Right, sorry. Kinda dark humor there,” John muttered, sitting up a little more. “I was… I have been, I guess, in the military for a while. Over ten years I guess, uhm… it’s a long story. But some stuff happened, my arm got kinda burned up but it’ll be okay. Head got banged around a bit but that should be fine too. The biggest thing was my leg which… well, that ended my military career pretttyyyy quick. The hospital found Bruce and yeah, I’ve been staying with him but…. I wanted to see you. Needed to see you.”

There was a pause.

“Sorry, that was… that was a lot of words.”

“When Bruce called…” Clay drifted off in realization. Bruce had called to tell Clay about John.

“He didn’t want to freak you out.”

“But I hung up.”

John nodded. “Bruce didn’t really tell me anything about what happened with you guys or anything but I just… I bought a plane ticket and well, here I am.”

Here he was.

“Does Bruce even know you’re here?” Clay asked, uncertainly. With John’s state, it probably meant that Bruce was kind of taking care of him, which meant he was in charge of his welfare and health. John was still on leg crutches and probably couldn’t get around super well. It couldn’t have been that long since it happened.

John snorted. “I am a grown man.”

“Missing a leg!”

“So?” John asked, his nose wrinkling. Clay almost felt like he had been slapped. Floyd and Branch did the same thing. “I knew a guy who lost both and guess what? He lives alone. Does just fine.”

“He’s probably freaking out.”

“Bruce? Probably.”

“Then why are you here?”

John tried not to look hurt. He would have done a great job too, if he hadn’t looked away. It was a telltale sign and Clay noticed. He didn’t even realize what he had said and how it came out until it was too late. He cursed himself; he didn’t want John to think he didn’t want him here. “I haven’t seen you in fifteen years, Clay. No matter how much time passes or what happens, I love you.”

Shit.

“Clay… he’s so cute,” Viva sniffled. “You never told me-”

“That I existed?” John guessed, making Clay cringe. “That seems to be an ongoing theme.”

“JD, I just…” he didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t have any excuse, really. He could blame a lot on his mother but that felt wrong to say to him. There wasn’t any real excuse that would make anyone feel better.

“It’s alright,” John replied, although Clay could tell there was some struggle. Which made sense. No one wanted to feel forgotten by loved ones. Especially not the ones still alive. “Bruce didn’t tell his kids I existed either. I’m getting over it.”

He shouldn’t have to get over it, Clay thought. He shouldn’t have had to do any of it. He should have spent the last fifteen years with them. He should have been there for birthdays, for their graduations, for their important moments. He should have been there when Bruce got married. For Floyd’s first show. For Clay’s best college awards. Bruce’s kids should have known their uncle their entire life, not just now and so forth.

“She’s dead, our mother,” Clay said, blandly. He blamed her a lot, for pretty much everything. Not the divorce itself; that was both of them, but for cutting them off from his brother. For forcing his name to never be spoken. For erasing his memory. It was one thing to keep them away from their father, although Clay didn’t like that either, but to keep them away from their older brother was unforgivable for him.

“So is dad. Over ten years.”

Ten years. Over even. John lost his family, became an adult and lost his father. No wonder he joined the military.

“Six.”

“I tried looking for you,” John promised, like it was something he had to convince Clay of. Like he didn’t want Clay to think that he didn’t try. It wasn’t meant to make Clay feel worse and Clay knew it but it did anyway. Because Clay hadn’t. He hadn’t looked. He hadn’t even considered it. “Before joining the military. After too, a little, I suppose. I’m no detective I guess.”

Clay just stared at him. Did he think…?

“I know…” John frowned again. “I know you’re mad at Bruce but I can’t… I… Clay, I want to be…to have… to be in some part of your life and I just…”

“I’m not mad at you.”

Clay hated the almost hopeful look that John stared at him with. It was a expression that screamed he wasn’t expecting this reaction. “You… aren’t?”

“No. Of course not. Our parents were petty and bitter and it is all their fault. JD, you never… you didn’t abandon anyone. Dad took you away and mom decided to try and erase that part of her life. Have you blamed yourself this whole time? For years?”

“No, no, I just… I don’t want you to think I stayed away or something.”

“I believe you,” Clay promised. “And I’m so glad you’re here.”

#soldier on au #john dory #clay #viva #the one au where clay's anger is not directed around jd ever #i guess i have another like that too but still; this is different idk i guess #sorry yall ive been super busy #and trying to draw #along with the million other things of life #but this was mostly written so there is that #it's a little longer too!!#branch and possibly clay are gonna make jd a kickass leg #i just feel like clay is intellectually very smart while branch is good at literally making things???#idk it's just i dunno #i both have all the ideas for jd and branch and ZERO ideas too #there's like no in between #but like guyyyyyysssssss #they so cute thooooooo #ironically JD kinda becomes a buffer for bruce and clay which is hilarious considering canon #or what is usually written about jd and clay #but it gets better #and here i am ranting in the tags again #i love it when people reblog and there are thoughts in the tags tho cause i read them and it's fun

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don1t1red · 6 months

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I know that this is a very unpopular opinion but hear me out!

I think not enough people consider Corvo as an unreliable narrator. We see the story from his point of view and all we know about Jessamine Kaldwin comes from his perspective. So, to think on that, do we really know how good Jessamine was as the Empress?

I know that she is usually portrayed as a good person if not a saint but what if it wasn't that way? A lot of people in the streets are indifferent towards her image, if not hostile; the situation with Delilah; how both Geoff Curnow and Corvo are treated because of their nationality; two hatters recalling how greatly Corvo dealt with workers uprising under her command – a lot of things are a tell-tale signs that something is not quite right.

And at this point I have to clarify that I'm not saying things like "boo no I hate Jessamine". No, it's actually quite the opposite, I love her character. But the way it is usually portrayed seems to be so dull and static. Let her not be a saint.

Let her be manipulative. Let her tell Corvo that "he is not like other serkonans, he is sooo special and that's why he is where he is and not somewhere deep in the silver mine", while being (just as any nobility in Gristol) not very welcome to any outlanders.

Let her be power-hungry and afraid to lose this power. Remember a bonecharm in her hidden room in the Tower? Who knows how it ended up here! Maybe she knew (or felt) that Delilah was coming, capable of overpowering and taking everything from her. Maybe Jessamine was so afraid to lose her posh life that she was ready to use some kind of a black magic!

Let her be disloyal. Obviously, she and Corvo developed some kind of codependency. But along with that, she was the Empress so who could stop her from having an affair or two? And Corvo was just the safest option, with a way less unnecessary risks and questions.

Let her be an imperfect person.

Obviously, Jessamine could be easily born a perfect ruler and a perfect loving woman for her chosen one and her daughter. But maybe she had to learn it the hard way.

Maybe she changed along with Corvo. Maybe the plague was a critical point for her character, maybe those months without Corvo made her rethink a lot of things.

And isn't it tragic, finally understanding and becoming the Empress everyone wants to see in you, just to be killed the other day, because all those changes have been seen as a weakness? Have nothing but faith in your closest one, faith that these people will be more wise than she was?

Give her some development, give her some motion! She could easily be a saint, static point. But in my opinion, she deserves to be not perfect but in constant motion. Trying and learning, understanding and making mistakes. She was too young when she became the Empress, she was a part of gristolian nobility, not so kind to anyone but themselves, she literally had no prerequisites to become a good person. And yet somehow she did.

It's always so easy to be a "saint" from the very beginning. And it's always so hard to learn how to become one.

#dishonored #jessamine kaldwin #imo all women deserve to be evil #(as a treat)#and esp disho women #ngl i kinda feel as a great part of Emily criticism could be applied to Jess as well #which doesnt make either of them a bad character #just as a fact #oh and also - while im still there - its not a bad thing to write Dauds development as a reaction to her death #but i feel like it was rather a reaction to the *changes* that her death triggered #i understand that she is a “woman in the refrigerator” trope in canon but we all are better than this #so again imo but it would be better to concentrate Dauds character growth aroud those changes and leave this poor woman alone #i really want to write a separate post about him rn lol #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #dt (stands for doni talks)

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 5 months

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Wait, fuck, hold on-

THEY CAN'T FUCKING BRING OUT AN ANTI-HERO ARTEMIS WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF STUDYING FOR FINALS!!

WHAT THE FUCK, DC?!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS?!?

oh i am so excited holy shit. am i the only one getting slade vibes from her?? because im getting massive slade/rose wilson vibes from the single eye cover and im wondering if artemis is a plant, someone unconnected from slade who wouldn't be considered a threat, to go undercover and get close to the titans. this is also like, high-key a chance to make jade and artemis sisters and/or half-sisters in canon which would be neat. i know comics fans aren't huge on changes to the canon based on outside things but making them half sisters doesn't really change jades backstory, nor artemis'.

#i am beating back spitfire fans with a broom #you don't understand what you are asking for. this man canonically has children and is married to someone else #so you are only asking for heartbreak #also Artemis canonically has a kid with someone else #so. again. stop it. if it happens it will be SAD #which #... i mean honestly id be cool with it if it was like... a mutual breakup where they remain friends after #but i kinda want Artemis and Wally to get character development without romance involved so like #im team 'lets not do that pls'#oh holy fuck dc wait don't try to pair up roy and artemis. waid i love you i trust you pls no #this is the pain of being a fan of a female comics character lmao. immediately worried about a shoehorned romance #and don't get me wrong. i fucking LOVE YJs spitfire but this isn't that and it would be so different #and itd be real hard not to be different in a bad way #so #yeah #thats my thoughts #OH GOD FUCK IS ARTEMIS SUPPOSED TO BE FRAN?????? WALLY'S SUPERHERO/SUPERVILLAIN TEAMMATE GF THAT HE LEAVES THE TEAM FOR???#TO GO TO COLLEGE TOGETHER??????#Like. I know that Artemis took Frans place in YJ but is Artemis doing it AGAIN in CANON?? Waid no i LIKE Fran.#Shes magneto but cooler and she just wants to be normal and she was childhood bffs with Wally and she also murdered her family and grew up #with a cult mom. Fran is so central city coded. shes such a girl next door with skeletons in her closet #aughhh #dc #dc comics #kid flash #wally west #artemis crock #tigress #roy harper #speedy

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i-got-bad-knees · 10 days

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One thing I love about Kim and Jimmys relationship is that from the start they have, like, the opposite of sexual/romantic tension. There’s literally no tension despite the fact they’re definitely not in a relationship, they’re just casually phoning each other late at night for weird robot phone sex that may or may not be a joke and giving each other foot massages and pedicures while venting to one another and getting drunk.

Their first onscreen kiss doesn’t seem at all to be their first actual kiss or their first night together, but it’s also not shown to have been a FWB situation or anything like that. We even see Jimmy on a date with another woman, but mcwexler still just explicitly Is from, like, day one and I like to think and wholeheartedly believe that was the case from when they first met. They just Clicked and didn’t even necessarily feel like they had to Do Anything with it, they were just each others person.

#I also like to think it was Jimmy specifically who craved an actual committed relationship and Kim who struggled #which tbh is. kinda canon.#that she’d be content to coax along like this indefinitely because personal relationships scare her #and it’s not until he’s fully wormed his way into her heart with his cringefail charm #that she realises how much she needs him and then it reaches the point she is literally willing to kill for him #and not only can she not ever care for someone like that again she’s also terrified to let herself #so she finds someone who is kinda nice but super boring and who doesn’t ever give a shit abt her opinion #and yep’s her way through life for a few years #mcwexler

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verraising · 2 months

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i am short of breath standing next to you. i am out of my depth at this altitude. -♡-

#ffxiv gpose #myrrbert #wolbert #a'myrrhis venko #ardbert hylfyst #hello. i've been having A Time lately so i decided to cheer myself up with some disgustingly sweet gpose shenanigans #and it worked ;w; look at them... babies.....#and MAN i am kinda proud of these esp how the lighting and the angles worked out!!! and the hands!!! i had to futz with the fingers so much #but they line up quite nicely which is very satisfying #i am commited to their matching bracelets too. it was a joke initially but they are canon now. lil keepsakes for when they are apart #also ignore me with the sleeping at last lyrics again lmao but they're just. so perfect.#also just as a side note these are NOT wedding pictures lmaooo my partner saw them and was like #'aww they're getting married!' but that was not the intention #they're just in all white because i thought it'd look really nice with the purple forest #(and i was right about that)#ANYWAYS #sorry for the ranting i am just. excited. to have produced something really nice imho #and to see those two together <3 #i should talk about them more but i always get shy and embarrassed lmao but maybe i will do that sometime #anyways!

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rakkuntoast · 3 months

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the thing that frustrates me the most is people saying "its just the 3rd day" my brother in christ, the members dont know for how long they will have to pause their lore that they have been building up to for god knows how long for this

like yeah, its one thing to say about the items and the grinding which ngl i dont give a fuck that they lost those, but lore specific items being lost for who knows how long is annoying. i'm sorry that some of the most attractive things of the qsmp is the individual character driven lore and how frustrating it is that time and time again it had to be paused for the overall island plot to suddenly be brought up in the most unconvenient way as if they didnt forget about it for like 4 months

one of my biggest issues with the qsmp story is how it doesnt wrap up things, and if it does it somehow feels underwhelming, most of it being from the players not even being able to participate on it and had to be informed of what went on by a "third party". like hell how many times do we have to pause resolving loose ends for another event that who the hell knows what will happen that will deviate the main plot for the next month or so again

#txt post #neg #crit #fandom critical #<- kinda yeah #like idk im sorry i cannot be excited for this new era when all i feel is underwhelmed that this plot is gonna get suddenly wrapped up agai #and we wont get a good conclusion to it #im not desperate for the old lore to come back but like cmon. its the thing im invested on of course i want it to continue again #the best example i can give for how i feel is like being in the climax of a story and then having a beach episode in the middle of it #like yeah that is underwelming and a harsh turn left. but then they tell you that the beach episode is canon and the story continues from #there. which what the fuck. why even do that

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pekoeboo · 2 months

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okAY SO I CAN EXPLAIN xD

I know normally I don't end up drawing this kind of content, because romance is never something I'm super into in stories and all, but it did come about in the Stardew Valley AU idea that Khalan and Leah...? end up getting together as a couple??? :0

at first I wasn't really for the idea because again, I don't care much about this sort of thing. but idk the more I thought about it, the more I realized how cute it could be xD my boy deserves to find love, honestly. he's always wanted that deep down inside, but this silly AU is really the only time it'll ever work out for him ;; so that's kinda part of why I decided to make it canon, haha.

anyway, yeah.... I've had this art drawn for several months now, but I figured Valentine's Day was the perfect day to finally post it! :D yay!

please do not remove caption or repost. also on deviantart

#oc #khalan al shariq #stardew valley au #stardew valley #sdv #stardew leah #leah sdv #valentine's day #oc x canon #idk how to tag 'ship' stuff honestly lol #tbh this AU isn't really one i've ever taken all that seriously tho #so that's why i decided to just kinda have fun with it and go along with this kind of idea #doubt i'll ever draw them again but at least I pulled myself out of my comfort zone a bit when I did #which is always good imo!!

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humanoidrangoon · 10 days

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for context to my last post: i have a folder in my art folder dedicated SPECIFICALLY to wips of stuff like this

and finally, my favorite

#destiny 2 art #cayde 6 #my art #rangoonposting #doodle #if you're wondering about the “sd” signature my twitter was sailordingus #and my personal was going to have the url but uh. cant find it.#also my handwriting IS dogshit . it WILL happen again #some of these are also admittedly kinda old so my artstyle probably looks all over the place #also i bullshit a LOT when i draw exos. i'm dogshit at full robot stuff. FDJK:GJDFKLg #and the way i draw exos is specifically ' draw human face in my normal style > add metal bits '#which is a GREAT workaround to the 'i can't draw robots' thing #until i forget to erase the. yknow. the mouths.#SDFJGK:DFJKHGJ #WHICH SOMEHOW MAKES MY DOODLES FUNNIER #might #kinda wanna redraw some of these because they're hilarious #'what are ya gonna do? stab me?' ( GETS STABBED ) is canon to me

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yardsards · 1 year

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s1 luz was at least a little bit gay for willow i will not be told otherwise

idk if it was a full on crush but it was at least one of those types of nebulous not-quite-romantic not-quite-platonic "hahaha, unless..." type friendships that a lot of queer teens have, u know the ones

#girl was just walkin around sayin shit like ''you're right! my friend IS very cute!''#which can be just regular platonic bc luz is friendly like that but in this case i feel like it's A Little Bit Gay #eliot posts #toh #the owl house #luz noceda #willow park #just. remembering why i liked willuz/willumity so much.#i kinda headcanon willow as grey-aro and polyam (this literally came to me in a dream)#and i feel like her ideal relationship IS a kind of ambiguous sorta-but-not-quite-romantic sort of dealio #tho i also like the headcanons that she's just plain bi or pan or lesbian in this context too #bc again that sort of ambiguous friendship seems to be VERY common among queer teen friend groups (and not just aspec queers)#like it was A Thing between some of my high school friends and many other queer ppl i've talked to have said similar lmao #tho i also find the headcanon that she's 100% aroace and also uninterested in any relationships outside if friendship to be v fun #just like. basically everyone falling in love w her but her being totally uninterested #but being her friend is so Delightful that none of em rlly have any complaints there #like that scene in carmilla where dani turns down kirsch and says she just sees him as a friend and he gets really excited like #''yes! i am in the friend zone! she sees me as a friend!!! she's so cool i am excited to be her friend!''#willow taking after canon aroace icon lilith ''constantly turning down suitors but keeping their gifts'' clawthorne #my sister is just straight but this one time when she was in hs a guy asked her out w a massive tub of cheese puff balls #(she was obsessed w those things)#and she turned him down but kept the cheese puffs and ate them for like a solid month

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micamicster · 21 days

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Trouble Man

this is. okay. this is. marvel fic. (throw your tomatoes now okay get it over with i understand i'll wait) but since we are in 2013 mentally. I thought i might as well? Bucky scene to follow!

[This is "canon compliant" if you imagine that the author has not seen any marvel movies post black panther (the first) and has seen maybe four episodes (not consecutive) of the sam bucky tv show. because she hasn't. enjoy!]

Sam lowers himself stiffly onto the steps of the porch, then keeps going, tipping his head back until it hits the top step. The stretch brings a good ache with it, a familiar one, that briefly overshadows the crueler hurts still lingering under the suit. He sighs.

He can feel Bucky more than see him, standing just outside of the ring of light cast by the porch lamp. He’s doing that thing that other people call looming, but Sam has come to see as more of an anxious hovering. Something Bucky does when he’s got something to say and isn’t sure how to say it, or thinks he should be doing something but he’s not quite sure what it is. It shows up a lot when Sam is fucked over and dead on his feet, so he associates it with the worst of Bucky’s mother-hen impulses. What a life he leads.

“Steve—“ starts Bucky, and thankfully stops there. Even the name hurts to hear. He doesn’t want to talk about Steve right now.

For a minute there’s just the darkness, the faint breeze stirring the wind chimes and the leaves, the distant rumble of a semi on the main road… all familiar and comforting and in their places. And then there’s Bucky.

“I make it harder,” says Bucky. “For you.”

Sam swallows. He’s grateful for the arm he threw over his face, for the way it obscures his facial expression. Bucky’s always looking. He looks too hard, like he’s trying to crack Sam open and see all the pieces. Figure him out.

“It was always going to be harder for me. It’s not because of you, man. This was always going to be…” he’s so tired. “Hard.”

“But I don’t make it easier.”

“Yeah, you’re a real pill, I won’t lie to you.”

Bucky snorts faintly, but he doesn’t loosen up and sit down next to Sam, toss the insult back, cut the hovering. There are faint clicks and shuffling as his arm recalibrates, the closest thing he has to a nervous tic. What has Sam’s life become, that the faint whirr of an assassin shifting his metal arm is familiar enough that he can pick it out of the sounds of home with his eyes closed?

He lets himself consider, for a moment, what it would be like if Steve was here. By his side again but with their places swapped, Captain America’s right hand man. Steve, with his wry sense of humor and his aw-shucks grin and his noble, idealistic heart. His roman nose that Bucky had broken with a fastball in 1937. His blond hair and his blue eyes and his experimental ubermensch shoulders and…

He tries to shrug, but it’s more of a wince. Everything is one big fucking bruise. “If it wasn’t you, it’d be something else. There’s always something else.”

Bucky is silent.

As the silence draws out Sam feels a flicker of fear. By the next breath it’s panic—that Bucky’s slipped away already, vanished into the dark like the ghost he is. That he walks away from all of this and leaves Sam twisting in the wind.

He sits up too fast, muscles screaming in protest, and Bucky’s right there where he always is. Looking at him.

“Don’t,” Sam starts. Don’t what? Don’t leave him alone?

He has dreams, sometimes, where he’s still chasing Bucky. Where he never stopped. Searching for him through cities and train stations and his own old high school gymnasium with the strange driving logic of dreams, knowing only that he’s lost something. Dreams where he’s running through a crowd, grabbing people to look in their faces—it’s never the right face.

He doesn’t want to do this shit alone. He’s a social motherfucker, he’s not cut out for the lone hero shtick.

He tries saying that, and Bucky only frowns harder. At least it’s his “I don’t understand the way you speak,” frown, which is a personal favorite.

“You have people. You have… options.” Options who aren’t infamous soviet assassins with weekly thinkpieces published on the topic of his guilt or innocence or sanity, Sam assumes he means.

“Options? Name three.” So maybe he’s being stubborn about stupid crap, but he’s fucking tired, okay? It’s been a long day, full of gooey aliens and collapsing buildings and combative press conferences, and now he has to deal with… whatever this has turned into.

“Torres. Natalia. Sh—“

“I thought you were my partner. I thought you were my… guy.” He glares at what he can see of Bucky. His frowning face is still half-hidden in shadow, because he’s an idiot who operates on vampire rules. An invitation, then, Sam can do that. “That means you’re here until I tell you to get lost, okay? Let’s make it real fucking easy. When I say you’re here, you’re here.”

“I’m here,” Bucky parrots. There’s something soft in his eyes as he moves to give Sam a hand up. Maybe it’s just the flickering yellow porch light, maybe not.

#This is an odd one because it is paired with a Bucky pov of the same story #but they're both very different in tone?#Which tbh makes me kinda want to finish them as like #a writing exercise #but the horror of delving into the marvel canon again is the main force against these fics #bucky barnes #sam wilson #sambucky #i like can NOT decide about tagging these bt i figure i might as well #ok im posting then immediately logging off. shout out to ten years of SAM <3 #trouble man #marvel

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mrtequilasunset · 7 months

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How it started vs how its going

#wip #piss and fuck #idk they just keep gettin gayer every time i put em on my cavas #i feel also like every time i draw them they get a little further from. how they look in canon yknow like theyre just morphing #into my own thing #which i dont think is a really bad thing but i feel kinda bad abt it sometimes like when i see their canon looks again #anyways its not gonna stop me so here

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tracfone · 2 years

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Glados, watching chell knock on the door of the wheat field shack: oh thank god, finally someone who appreciates my interests--

#portal #glados #chell #i just watched a video with all the lines in poker night 2 #where claptrap and glados have a veeeery brief relationship #and she dumps him because he doesn't approve of the testing lol #it was....very....well it happened that's all i can say #testing is just code for dating for glados anyways (see: the deleted lines from ch4-5)#chelldos kind of sort of #i think chell would only agree to test again for glados if she felt confident about the fact that she wouldn't try killing her anymore #which she already says she does not want to kill her but still #edit: poker night 2 may or may not even be considered canon but i like to think it takes place during the #cooperative testing initiative because she does mention having human test subjects #glados's entire week: dating a weird little robot and burning through 10000 test subjects then dumping her boyfriend #portal 2 spoilers / kinda

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arsenicflame · 6 months

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i really liked my tags on this post so i wanted to touch them up and post them as a stand alone! i ended up adding quite a bit to this ''':)

What artistic skill does Izzy possess?

I think he has a lot of 'practical' artsy skills. he’s decent at sewing (mending your own clothes isn't just useful, it's almost a requirement at sea with limited possessions and resources) he's probably decent at braiding hair from having to splice rope- simply anything with roots in being useful I think he has done enough to be decent at by this point in his life.

Singing comes into this as well, holding a rhythm is important for certain sailing tasks, and while I think he can sing in ways that don't translate to shanties, I don't think he has utilised this in a long long time (so excited that we are apparently getting an Izzy singing scene in s2!!!! I need him to know he can have fun)

Another thing is I think he was a really good tattoo artist! I don't actually see him as having the creativity to come up with interesting and unique designs but I do think he is excellent at the act itself, and at copying requested designs. you need a swallow? an anchor? a ship? any common sailors tattoo? he can absolutely do it and it will probably be the best tattoo you have. it was always a mark of honour if you could convince him to do yours on the Queen Anne- he was very busy and didn't often do them, and definitely wouldn't do them if he didn't respect you. He's done a lot of Ed's 'quality' tattoos (though I think Ed also does a lot on himself), he's done tattoos for Fang, and Ivan, and he will do them for the rest of the kraken crew in the future. (he will even do one for Lucius one day, one of his own pieces of art as long as its not an Ed face or a dick. They understand each other now)

anything else? I don't know, I see him very much as, he won't let himself do things if they aren't practical. his canon whittling is as close as he gets and that's more of a 'thing to do with your hands while watching the deck' kind of thing. have knife will whittle

I think ultimately, Izzy doesn't let himself do things for himself. if you love something, if you have a soft spot, it can be targeted, taken away.

I do think he maybe dances though. He always plays it off as something Ed forces him to do when they're drunk/on shore but... he loves it- the motion; the reliance on another partner and the intimate understanding of exactly what they're gonna do next? I think he would love that actually.

I think dancing might be the one thing he always does for fun. He never lets himself have it, but if Ed demands a partner? Yes, of course, anything for his Captain.

(Ed always demands a partner. he likes dancing well enough but he likes seeing Izzy do it more- he knows Izzy will never do it on his own, he understands why, but Ed is Blackbeard. Nobody fucks with Blackbeard- and if he wants to dance? if he wants his first mate to dance? they're fucking dancing.)

but that's not the truth of the situation, really.

It always takes him a second to let his guard down, but he relaxes into it. He lets himself loose in a way Ed only sees when he's deep into the rhythm of a swordfight. And perhaps it's the same, to him- finding the flow of the battle, of the music. Feeling his partner, understanding them and being understood in return? It's all the same- but dancing is safe. Dancing is fun. In a swordfight there are stakes- and he loves the stakes, he loves that this thing that means everything to him matters, but sometimes, just sometimes, it really is nice to move like that in a way that doesn't matter.

And when they really get going- all twirls and jumps and frankly being a little ridiculous, Izzy laughs. A deep belly laugh, a kind of joy you didn't think was possible from him. But here he is, letting go at last. He laughs and he smiles and he feels such joy, the rest of the world melts away, and it is just him and his partner, dancing.

(later- much, much later, a man will play a battle song over their raids, a jaunty little tune that throws off everyone they fight against, and Izzy gets to dance, and fight, and feel free, unburdened by the weight that he's carried with him his whole life. They'll dance after too, and he will have finally found a place where he completely belongs)

(if you liked this, can I recommend Talking Bodies by ItsClydeBitches, i feel like that fic fits the themes of dancing incredibly well)

#I didnt want to clog up ops post but Izzy dancing is everything to me actually #I hadnt reread that fic in months but I did just now to make sure it was the one I was thinking of #and yeah I can definitely see its influence in this post #once again the autistic Izzy headcanons thread themselves through this post I cant help it its canon to me #I specifically think that the whittling could be a stim thing for him. hes had too many comments made about his hand movements #when he was younger and has learnt that 'doing something' is seen as far more acceptable. its repetitive and soothing and safe #also heres a fun little gift for my bellhands friends. I think Sam taught him how to dance. like proper dances.#and it was at the same time as he was learning to swordfight which is partly why theyre so similar for him #Ed and Jack came across them dancing in port; not long after they started talking to Izzy properly (hed known Sam a while by this point)#and like. Jack thinks its kinda funny but Ed? oh hes jealous. for the first time he Wants #Izzy and Sam are so close; and they have been for a while but this is Different. its one thing knowing that its Izzy&Sam and Ed&Jack #and its another thing to see them like this. its intimate and personal and for the first time Ed regrets not seeing izzy first #(this is heavily influenced by my personal pirate school headcanons jfgjfhnv)#makes a post to deal with out of hand tags; tags on that post get out of hand #nyxtalks #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #israel hands #edizzy #blackhands #frenchie ofmd #references to him; anyway. i felt it fit to keep him vaguely defined but it is obviously him. my favourite lil guy #this should probably have been broken up into a couple of posts but NO take this behemoth #if youre curious the post is like 844 words long and with the tags its 1220 ish. i am so sorry #references to vague time periods pre canon and post canon idk put them whenever you want. when edizzy was happy. when they will be again #I cut the bit about weaving because it was just a silly little thing and didnt slot into this but know Izzy with a loom is everything to me #im also sorry the tone is all over the place this is half 'i thinks' and half like. semi narrative things? idk idk i have no sense of order #this is as good as it gets for me

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