#which as you all know i stopped doing a while ago

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

You Could Be Mine

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Warnings: smut

It was a hot summer evening and you found yourself on a private party on a 100 m yacht in Monaco hosted by none other than Lando Norris. Actually, you weren't initially invited, your best friend was, but when she mentioned to Lando that you were in town too, he was more than happy to send you a verbal invitation through her.

Lando and you have a history together. You met a year ago in a club when you were visiting Monaco for the first time. He was your friend's friend and from the first moment you laid eyes on each other there was an undeniable attraction between you two. You spent 3 unforgettable wild nights together back then, but there has never been anything more since then.

And here you were again, back in town, at his party. There was quite a lot of people for a private party, a lot of girls too, but his eyes were glancing at you the whole night. You could feel his gaze searching for you, but you also saw how many girls around him were practically begging for his attention and you weren't gonna be one of them.

You don't want him that much, you thought.

That's why he couldn't wait to catch you alone somewhere. Once you wandered onto the upper deck, the highest one where was no people, Lando saw his chance and took it. You two quickly got into talking. He was so obviously flirting with you, he really wasn't wasting any time, he wanted to let you know that you've been on his mind and that he didn't forget about your nights together.

"So for how long are you staying in Monaco?" He asked stepping closer to you holding his hands in the pockets of his white linen pants.

"Two more nights." You say biting your lip.

"That's such a shame.." Pulling them out of his pockets, one of his hands finds its way to your cheek and the other to your waist pulling you closer to him. "If only I'd known sooner that you were here..."

"And why is that?" You ask glancing at his lips as his thumb caresses your cheek.

He runs his tongue over his lip then gently traces with his finger over your bottom lip before mumbling "What if I told you I've been getting off to the thought of you?"

You smirk squeezing your thighs hoping he wouldn't notice it while your faces are only inches away from each other's.

"It wasn't easy to forget you either, I must admit"

"Yeah?" He asks and you nod putting your hands against his chest looking up at him. "So what are we gonna do about it then?"

"Well, you tell me"

"I'd rather show you" He murmurs before he finally presses his lips against yours. The kiss gradually changed from gentle and slow to fast, passionate and heated. He was hungry for more of whatever this was between the two of you. His tongue ran over your bottom lip asking for permission to enter which you willingly granted.

"Fuck, I forgot what a good kisser you are" He pants and you blush hiding your face in his shoulder. He gently moves your hair out of your neck so he can leave sloppy kisses that send tingly feelings through your body.

His hand slowly comes between your thighs slowly working its way up under your short dress as you slightly part your legs for him. Just as his fingers were about to reach your wet lace panties, a squeaky female voice interrupts you.

"Lando!" The girl screams from downstairs making you quickly close and squeeze your thighs at the loss of his touch as he pulls back from you. "Where are you? Are you coming down?" The girl asks climbing a few stairs to see him. It was the girl who had been crawling all over him all evening desperately trying to get a minute of his attention. Her gaze stops at you raising her eyebrow and eyeing you up and down.

"Give me a minute" Lando says brushing her off to which she mumbles something rolling her eyes, clearly annoyed at his lack of interests, and leaves.

"Is that your girlfriend to be?" You provoke.

"She'd like that, but she never will be" He reassures you once again pulling your body closer to him. "But you could be" You giggle, but don't say anything to his unexpected proposal?

"I'd love to fuck you against this fence now," He whispers squeezing your hips. "But I'll do that in the morning when everyone leaves"

"What makes you think I'll be here in the morning?" You tease him.

"There's no way I'm letting you go before I show you how much I've been thinking about you." He groans as you slowly lift your leg and press your knee lightly into his crotch. "Fuck, you're driving me crazy..Come with me right now"

Lando goes down the stairs first and you follow behind him. He takes your hand leading you as you two disappear unnoticed into one of the rooms on the yacht.

As soon as the door closed he was pressing you against them forcing his tongue inside your mouth and lifting up your dress. You whimpered as he vigorously turned you around pulling your panties to the side and gently pushing your cheek against the hard surface of the door. He slipped his fingers inside you only to spread your wetness all over your slit and over his tip before teasing you with it.

"Lan" You moaned.

"What baby?" He murmurs into your ear rubbing his cock over your folds, but not pushing himself in. "Tell me what you want"

"Stop with the teasing and fuck me already"

"Fuck, you turn me on so much you don't even know. Feel how hard you make me? It's fucking aching for you" He hisses grinding against your ass.

He positions his cock at your entrance and you eagerly push your ass back on him. You were dripping wet so he slid in without the slightest trouble.

"So ready for me" He groans scraping his teeth over your bare shoulder making you shiver. "You're so tight baby, fuuuck"

He was thrusting into you deep and fast, your ass was grinding back against his pelvis as the sound of your skin slapping against each other filled the room. You were so into each other that you weren't even trying to be quiet. You almost forgot that anyone could walk by the room and hear your moaning.

As the familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach started building, from the other side of the door, the squeaky voice of the girl who interrupted you once was heard again.

"Lando?"

"Shit" The voice snaps you back to reality as he abruptly stops moving making you whine ruining your orgasm.

"Lando, are you in there?" She asks again. He puts his hand over your mouth breathing heavily as he slowly starts moving again.

"Should I tell her how deep inside of me you are?" You ask quietly removing his hand from your mouth.

"She's fucking crazy, and I don't want anyone to touch you" He pulls out of you and turns you around to face him.

"I'm not scared of her, I know she can't have you the way I can" You didn't even mind that she was behind the door because you knew you had all his attention, you knew he was starving only your touch.

You start kissing his wide neck, running your tongue over the veins that were popping out as he throws his head back.

"Fuck, she's not even half of you"

He reaches under your ass tapping your thighs signaling you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist. When you do so he leads you to the bed gently throwing you down and getting on top of you.

"I missed you" He says looking at your lips before you connect them. You were clinging to each other as he started thrusting into you again only this time slow, deep and raw. He was enjoying the feeling of your walls tightly hugging him.

"I missed you too" You were moaning into each other's mouth, gasping for air as both of you were getting closer and closer. "Faster, Lan, please"

"You gonna cum with me?" He asks. You nod and he quickens his pace. "I'm n-not pulling out, okay?" His voice cracked and legs trembled. You didn't even have time to answer as your climax penetrated your whole body. Lando's quickly followed by filling you up to the top.

"Ohh fuuck" He moaned before collapsing down on you.

When your breathing calmed down he propped himself up on his elbows looking at you and caressing your cheek before placing a soft kiss on it. "You okay, baby?" He asks.

"Yeah" You blush at the nickname he didn't call you by the last time you were together.

"Why are you blushing?" He asks smiling, but you're too shy to say why. "Tell me"

"I'm not telling you"

"Is it because I called you baby?" You giggle trying to hide your face to the side from him, but his fingers pull your chin back to face him. "I'm not letting you leave Monaco this time. You're staying here with me."

#lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris one shot #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 smut #f1 one shot #f1 imagine #f1 blurb #f1 fluff

[skamenglishsubs]

Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, Season 3, Episode 4

Last episode ended with Simon coming home to a smashed window, this episode starts the morning after, Simon takes the bus to school, while Wilhelm is anxiously waiting for him.

Culture: At a high school level in Sweden, there's national tests in Swedish, English, and Math. Like everywhere else, the purpose of these tests is not only to grade students, but to align all schools across the country to combat grade inflation.

Blink and you miss it: Vincent is trying to cheat by looking at Nils' answers.

Blink and you miss it: Vincent draws a dick in the gravel while waiting for the others to be done with the test.

Subtext: This entire episode is overflowing with examples of privilege. For Vincent, and many other rich kids like him, studying and learning doesn't matter, they'll graduate regardless, so he doesn't care about the exam, he only cares about the graduation party.

Cinematography: Even with Felice and friends being completely blurred out in the background, you can still see Stella and Fredrika turning to look at Sara, and then turning their backs on her.

Culture: In the US, a lot of people are using "socialism" as a catch-all phrase which means politics they don't agree with, regardless of its actual ideology. Likewise, in Sweden, a lot of people use "communist" in the same way about generally left-wing politics, which is what Vincent is doing here.

Subtext: Wilhelm asks Simon if he can reconcile the conflict of dating a royal while being anti-monarchy, but the real question is of course if Wilhelm can reconcile the conflict in himself.

Subtext: This is where the show's political stance shines through, and this argument, that Wilhelm wasn't allowed to choose his life for himself, is the main argument they're gonna use in the finale.

Subtext: Wilhelm is weakly defending the monarchy, but just ends up repeating what his mother told him; it's a privilege, not a punishment, but does he believe it himself?

Subtext: The letter-to-yourself plot is mainly there in order to help August along his redemption arc, but here the show is using it to reinforce the point of the previous scene. Who does Wilhelm want to become? Does he have a choice?

Culture: In Sweden, Säkerhetspolisen, SÄPO, is the government agency in charge of national security, which includes providing security and assigning bodyguards to the royal family.

Subtext: Note the great use of passive voice here by Farima to avoid taking responsibility for the decision to force August to join the birthday foundation event. She's also expertly bargaining with Wilhelm to get what she wants.

Subtext: We know it was the far-right assholes who posted comments to Simon's videos a couple of episodes ago.

Blink and you miss it: Jan-Olof really perks up when Linda talks about moving to Gothenburg, because that would probably mean the end to the relationship between Wilhelm and Simon, which would solve all of his current problems.

Subtext: Like Farima, he bargains with Linda and Simon to get what he wants, for Simon to stop posting things to social media. It's almost as if their strategy was to do nothing at the start, waiting for things to blow up so they could swoop in, help out, and start making demands in exchange...

Blink and you miss it: The option to inactivate and hide your social media account is right there, but of course Simon has to choose to delete everything, because it will cause more drama and anguish.

Blink and you miss it: Fencing! Woohoo! I did fencing for five years as a kid until 8th grade or something, but I only did foil, and not épée like these students. I have absolutely no idea where these two are coming from or going to though, where would they practice? Is there a hidden fencing hall somewhere on the grounds that we haven't seen yet? How many kids at Hillerska are fencing? Also, he's carrying a practice blade and not an electric competition blade, so that checks out. Of the three types of modern fencing, épée is unique in that the entire body counts as a valid target, while in foil only the torso counts, and in sabre only the upper half counts. Oh wow, it looks like the gear is now wireless and every fencer carries their own indicator lights. Cool! Back in my day you had to be strapped in with a cord for competitions.

This tumblr is now about French School fencing. Allez! Touché!

Subtext: The narrative is that it's perfectly ok for the crown prince to be gay, as long as he's not gay gay.

Culture: The show keeps saying this, but in real world Sweden it's no longer the case. Supporting los jibbities is viewed as a completely mainstream and inoffensive opinion, on par with supporting human rights in general.

Subtext: Another example of privilege is being in a position to do a lot of good, and then just not caring about it. Simon is fighting for the causes he believes in, so seeing Wilhelm just casually throw it away is extremely disappointing for him.

Subtext: Unlike Vincent, August is actually a natural leader, someone people listen to, which is why he manages to quiet down the room when Vincent is unable to. Maybe a good quality in a future king?

Subtext: Simon is continuing the argument from before. Wilhelm could have shown solidarity with mental health causes or LGBT causes, but chose not to. However, he immediately decided to join in solidarity with the other rich kids protesting the school rules, which is rather selfish.

Subtext: Colour theory! Sara in purple, because part of the reason she's back at school is that August asked her to? And Simon in yellow, because he sure isn't loving Wilhelm very much right now.

Subtext: Just a reminder that Sara has actually been completely out of the loop since the end of season 2. She has no idea about the school rules, what's happened at home, how it's going with Simon and Wilhelm, or what's happening at school.

Blink and you miss it: Fredrika is so close to stop striking as soon as she's threatened with repercussions.

Subtext: I keep hammering this point home: The culture is in the walls, it's not something some of the kids made up. The visiting alumni were also hazed as new students and kept it going as third years. Same for the parents of all these kids. They're all part of the system, they all kept the cycles of abuse going, because they want the school to be like that.

Subtext: Privilege is thinking you can get things your way with almost no effort. None of these kids have ever struggled or protested something for real and then not been given what they wanted, so they seriously believed they'd win immediately.

Subtext: Another theme of this season is bringing secrets out in the open. We've all seen August struggling with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder since season 1, but no-one has ever called it out and put words on it, until Simon immediately recognizes it and calls it out.

Subtext: ...while the rich kids are just stuck in denial, because eating disorders is for poor people or something, it's not something that happens to them. And if it did, you certainly wouldn't admit it to anyone else.

Subtext: August tries to jokingly fend off Nils because he doesn't want anyone to know that the letter actually meant something to him, until Nils pushes too hard, and August punches him.

Subtext: Vincent talked a big game about striking in solidarity, but when they're caught as hilariously unprepared as they are, they're not pooling their resources in solidarity with each other, and instead resort to selling them to the highest bidder. Capitalism in a nutshell, illustrated perfectly by the behaviour of spoiled rich kids. Also, pet peeve, the English word for the currency of Sweden is "kronor", not "crowns".

Lost in translation: They're actually repeating a single word in Swedish, "svikare", which is pretty hard to translate. The verb, "svika", is a bit worse than letting someone down, but not as bad as betraying someone. The adjective, "besviken" typically means disappointed. So "svikare" means a person who is letting other people down, disappointing them, or betraying them.

Subtext: The culture is in the walls of the place, but the kids are also pretty damn complicit in continuing all the shitty traditions. This looks like a game of strip poker or truth or dare that went off the rails and just resulted in more bullying, with everyone joining in.

Subtext: The other girls are upset with Felice because she broke the code. You don't snitch to outsiders, you don't tell the truth, you keep up appearances.

Blink and you miss it: Henry won the potato chip auction, happily ate the entire bag, and passed out in a chair, clutching the bag. Mmmm, sourcream and onion.

Subtext: Speaking of closing ranks towards the outside, this also applies to this strike. It would be bad PR for the school if anyone outside found out that it happened, so it's better to solve it quietly and discreetly. Vanessa can trust the kids not to snitch. Vincent is also right, the parents, who are paying the tuition fees, are on their side.

Subtext: Felice can't be seen talking to Sara, so she checks that the coast is clear, and then drags Sara into a private bathroom to have their conversation.

Subtext: Likewise, Sara was probably Felice's first real friend.

Subtext: Nice little foreshadowing. I would have loved seeing Simon's drawing though!

Subtext: Well, he could have just made his social media private, but the show has to maximize the drama, so here we are, piling on more examples of how Simon is losing himself to the monarchy, that maybe he can't reconcile the conflict.

Subtext: Erik spent three years living at Hillerska, of course he wouldn't have told his then twelve year old kid brother about all the shit going on at the school. August spent an entire year living with Erik at the school, seeing what went on first hand, so of course he knows a side of Erik that Wilhelm doesn't.

Subtext: August has been trying to keep his mouth shut and avoid Wilhelm, but since they have yet another fight, he decides to drop the bomb about Erik to hurt Wilhelm.

Subtext: Again, the culture is in the walls. This is not something that only Erik's class did, once. It's probably been happening to all the boys for decades. It happened to the current second-year students, it happened to Erik, and lots of students before him who kept this shitty initiation tradition going.

Culture: Let's talk about the gay porn hazing a bit more. To me, this is an urban legend. I heard about it when I was a teenager back in the 90's, but I don't personally know anyone it happened to, or anyone who did it to anyone else. It was always hearsay, it happened to a friend of a friend's brother, or a classmate's cousin's friend or something similar, as is typical of urban legends.

Let's also make one thing absolutely clear: It doesn't work. The homophobic idea behind this shit is that if you are forced to watch gay porn and get a boner, you are gay, and if you don't, you're straight. But that is actually not true, erections don't work that way, and the fear of being found out is quite the boner killer. Also, what if you like guys, but the guys in the porno aren't your type? There's just so many ignorant misconceptions behind this idea.

I've also seen a lot of fan comments that keep playing into this ignorance; that the only reason Nils decided to stop the tradition was because he obviously failed it. Or that the only reason August is against it is because he failed, and the only reason he failed is because he's secretly not straight. No. Remember that the test doesn't work. Nils probably passed, despite actually being gay. August might have failed, despite being completely straight. Regardless of what happened, they both found it humiliating, and that is why they made a pact to stop it.

#young royals #young royals subtext #young royals analysis #young royals season 3

[archangeldyke-all]

Something with like cellmate prisoner!sevika?! 😭😭😭 idk I just think like her being all dangerous and powerful, having a shit ton of friends but like selectively, no one messing with her maybe even hating how just mean she is. And then comes in reader and yk. I’d love if the story was smutty but u can chose ofc 🫦

i love this so much

men and minors dni

living in zaun is shit. but the one thing that's always kept you and a majority of your fellow citizens in line, was the ever-looming presence of stillwater prison just a few miles away. you've watched countless people enter those prison walls. you know very few who ever came back out.

and now, through a series of unfortunate events that lead to you assaulting an undercover enforcer, you're going to find out first hand just how horrible stillwater really is.

you don't think you've ever been so nervous in your life as the enforcer guides you-- restrained and already hating the itchy fabric of your new life-long uniform--down a long, long hall of cells.

he's chewing a wad of bubblegum, casually, like you aren't about to piss yourself with nerves. "listen kid." he says, looking you up and down. "i read your file. seems like you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time." he says, shrugging. "no prior arrests, clean record-- honestly i'm surprised they sent you here, but i guess you did break marcus' nose." the enforcer chuckles here.

"you know that asshole?" you ask. the man guiding you snorts.

"'s my boss." he mumbles. beside you, a prisoner lunges at the bars of their cell, screaming at you. you jump, and the guard laughs. "as i was sayin'-- you seem like a real peach. like you'd be a good influence on some of our... rougher prisoners." he mumbles.

dread starts to curl in your stomach. you have a pretty good idea of where this conversation is headed, and you don't like the outcome. you just hope you aren't cellmates with someone real bad: like genie the counter-fitter who got caught two years ago; esmee the weapons expert who successfully set an entire square block of piltover's wealthiest neighborhood ablaze; or, god forbid, sevika.

she'd been caught just weeks ago, smuggling an entire airship's worth of shimmer into piltover's loading docks. it was big fucking news.

sevika's a big fucking deal.

and you want absolutely nothing to do with her.

which is why, of course, the guard pulls you to a stop right outside of the only cell with a light on, the low, dim glow of a reading lamp and the quick flickering light of a lighter. you feel like you're gonna barf.

sitting in the shadows of the cell, puffing on a hand-rolled cigarette, sits sevika, silco's second in command.

if he's the eye of zaun, she's the arm. he might be watching-- but she's doing. she's nothing but bad news; everything you've tried your best to avoid while living in the undercity.

well, look how well that turned out for you.

"sevika, meet your new cellmate." the enforcer calls out. a pair of silver eyes snap up from her book and lock on yours. you shiver.

"fucks' wrong with her?" she mumbles. you gulp.

"nervous, i'd assume. 's her first-offense." the guard says. he shoves you into the cell and you jump as the bars slam shut behind you. "you ladies have fun." he says, before turning and walking away, the smacks of his gum echoing behind him.

sevika inspects you from her chair.

"how'd you fuck up so bad you ended up in a cell with me from your first offense?" she asks, seemingly intrigued.

"punched an undercover enforcer." you whisper. sevika's eyebrow hitches up, a little amused.

"yeah?"

"think his name was marcus, or something." you mumble. she sputters.

"ha! really!?" she asks, a little smile growing on her face. you nod. she takes a drag off her cigarette, then points at the bunk beds. "i get bottom. don't go thinkin' 'cause we're cellmates it means you get to touch my shit. i got people outside pullin' big favors for met to get shit like this." she gestures to her cigarettes and lamp. you nod. "don't look so nervous. i won't bite unless you piss me off."

you try to stop shivering. you don't succeed. "s-sorry."

she studies you for a moment, her smile growing as she does. though she's no longer armed with shimmer, her arm's still in perfect working condition, five little daggers gently tapping on the table top as her eyes dart across you. "you from the lanes?" she asks. you nod. she snorts. "you know who i am?" she asks. you nod again. she chuckles, then stands. she approaches you, circling around you like you're prey, then chuckling and leaning back against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. "you scared'a me?" she asks.

"shouldn't i be?" you choke out.

it seems to be the right answer. sevika laughs, then sits back down at her table, picking her book back up, chuckling intermittently for minutes after.

she's not a bad roommate. she's surprisingly tidy, always quiet, her nose usually buried in a book. she smokes like a fucking chimney, and you've come to find she gets her tobacco-- and sometimes a bit of weed-- from one of the guards every tuesday night.

she's got special privileges among most of the guards. they're always sneaking her books and flasks, letting her get away without cell-searches, letting her read past lights out and have lighters and screwdrivers and other dangerous, weapon-like tools.

you, on the other hand, do not have these privileges. and, keeping in line with sevika's one and only rule, you don't touch her shit. all of this means that while sevika smokes and works on her arm and reads and works out, you spend your time just... sitting on the top bunk. watching her.

sometimes, during open cell time, she gets visitors. you're surprised that none of these visits end in shady dealings-- sevika doesn't seem to need to trade her stash of goods for anything. most of her visits are quick, and most end the same way: a small scrap of paper being shoved in sevika's hand.

she burns the scraps after she reads whatever's on them.

she's... pleasant, sometimes. it's rare, but it happens. one day, you'd forgotten to make your bed before you went to breakfast. you returned to find it neatly made, and when you thanked her for helping you avoid trouble with the guards, she had just waved it off. "don' get used to it. i won't always be here to fix your mistakes."

once, a fight broke out while you were in the showers. you were sent back to your cell soaking wet-- your hair still lathered in shampoo. she had chuckled, called you a "wet rat", and helped you rinse your hair out in the tiny sink in your cell.

and... she's kinda pretty. it occurred to you one evening while the two of you were partaking in your nightly routine: sevika reading in her chair while you study her, pretending to sleep. she'd glanced up at you and whispered. "why're you always lookin' at me?"

you shrugged, then nearly choked on your tongue when 'you're pretty' almost slipped out of your mouth. "uh... i got nothing else to look at." you'd ended up saying. she seemed to accept this.

"you don't have any prison girlfriends?" you ask. sevika's in a particularly jovial mood today: the note she'd been delivered earlier in the afternoon must've had great news. she's decided to share her joint with you. the question slipped out the second you took your first puff-- your tolerance astronomically low from being without for so long.

sevika laughs. "nah."

"but..." you cut yourself off before you get yourself in trouble, biting your lip. sevika chuckles, then nudges your leg.

"y' can say it." she says. you smile at her, then speak.

"it's just... i had a few friends who work at babette's." you say. "i figured you'd have as much of a reputation here as you do there."

she takes a second, tilting her neck side to side as it cracks, then sighing. "i got shit to do in here." she says simply. you raise an eyebrow at her, biting your lip again, and she chuckles. "say it." she demands again.

"you just read all day." you laugh. sevika nods.

"i'm... working." she says. you just nod along, pretending you understand what she's alluding to.

it happens in the strangest way but you and sevika start to become... friends.

she sits alone at lunch, and you sit alone too, on the oppisite side of the cafeteria. but you're so used to looking at sevika, that you find yourself watching her even when there are much more entertaining things to look at, like the handful of fights that break out every meal.

you notice she loves the jello cups you guys get once a week. so you pocket yours and toss it at her later that night. the way she smiles lights up the room even brighter than her tiny lamp. you make it a habit.

she starts loaning you her books, finds you a crate to sit on by her table while you guys read together at night.

and when sevika gets jumped in the middle of the night-- you don't even question it before you jump out of your bunk, grab sevika's screwdriver where she left it on the table, and start swinging in the dark, blindly.

"what the fuck?" someone squawks when you manage to stab something in the dark.

"what?" sevika whispers in the dark.

"sevika, your bunkmate fucking stabbed me!" her attacker's voice rings out.

a light flicks on. you cringe at the sudden brightness, then blink in confusion as sevika and a guard with a screwdriver sticking out of their shoulder stare at you.

sevika's grinning. the guard is scowling. you hold your hands up in shaky fists, preparing for a fight. sevika chuckles.

"relax, sweetheart." she says, swinging her arm around you and tugging you into her side. "ran's a friend." she whispers into your ear. you blink at the bleeding guard, then back at sevika.

"so, what, we're taking your girlfriend with us now?" the guard-- ran-- asks. sevika looks at her friend, then looks at you, a calculating look in her eye. she smirks, shrugs, then looks back at the guard.

"she threw herself between me and a uniform-- can't just throw that kinda loyalty out, now can i?" she asks, smiling.

you don't know what's happening. you're about to ask-- when suddenly you black out.

the first thing that comes back to you is your sense of hearing.

voices.

"sevika, fuck, you can't just throw a wrench in the plan like this--"

"i can do whatever the fuck i want--"

"on the night of the breakout?! no heads up!?"

"do i need to remind you which one of us is second in command, here?!"

"...fuck. c'mon, help me load her in the van."

the next thing is your sense of touch. you're laying on the rumbling cold steel of a van floor-- currently in motion.

you're shivering, but then something warm and wool and smelling like cigars is draped over you.

you're head keeps bumping uncomfortably with every crack in the road. someone gently picks your head up and puts it in their warm nap, a hand coming down to scratch your scalp.

your voice comes next. "mmmh?"

"it's okay." sevika's voice comes. you groan, cracking your eyes open, only for her face to be grinning down at you. "fuckin' maniac." she giggles.

"wha?" you groan. you're seeing double, your head is pounding.

"ran knocked you out. 's what you get for stabbin' 'em." sevika chuckles. "but, you're lucky, 'cause they don't hold a grudge. they helped me lug your ass outta stillwater."

"wha?!" you ask again, snapping up. sevika laughs as you look out the front window of the van-- the depths of piltover surrounding you as you head, presumebly, to the last drop.

you recognize the man driving-- a tall, muscular, tattooed man who'd recently been added to your cell block's guard rotation. in the passengers' seat sits the guard you'd stabbed-- bandaged and watching you with amusement.

"wha's happenin'?" you mumble, looking back at your cellmate as you clutch a hand to your throbbing head. you've been shrouded in a red cloak-- sevika's already out of her prison uniform and back in her 'second in command' look. she smirks at you.

"y' really think i was jus' sittin' around, servin' my time?" she asks. you shrug.

"figured somethin' was goin' on. y' kept gettin' those notes. didn't wanna ask." you groan. sevika chuckles.

"well, you shoulda. or i shoulda warned you, so you didn't try killing my crew." she chuckles. you blink over to the person in the passengers' seat, cringing.

"s-sorry." you mumble. they wave it off.

"'s cool. knocked you right the fuck out, didn't i?" they chuckle. "we're even."

you turn back to sevika. "you broke me out of prison?" you ask. she shrugs.

"'re you mad about it?" she asks. you gawk at her.

"uh... just... a little surprised?"

sevika cackles. you smile at the sound, despite your headache. "i wasn't plannin' on it! then you started givin' me your jello, 'n readin' all my books, 'n..."

"she's got a crush on you." ran fills in from the front.

"i didn't say that!" she shouts.

"she's not denying it though--" the man driving teases.

you choke on your spit. sevika huffs, rolls her eyes, and speaks. "i... i kinda got a crush on you, yeah." she mumbles. "and i swear i'm not sayin' this jus' 'cause i think you're cute but: you should really stay with us at the last drop until things calm back down, since, y'know... you're kinda wanted now..." she says, rubbing the back of her neck.

you blink... shocked.

you don't really know what to think. you tried your whole life to stay out of trouble, and it managed to find you anyways in the form of a drunken under-cover enforcer deciding to smack your ass when you'd had too many drinks to hold your punches. you tried to stay out of trouble in stillwater until you were saddled with sevika. you tried to stay out of trouble with her until she dragged you-- literally, you were unconscious!-- out of prison along with her. it seems like trouble's meant for you.

but if there's one thing you're certain of, it's sevika.

you smile at her, then reach up to cup her cheek. she looks more nervous than you've seen her in all your months in stillwater together.

"you gotta crush on me?" you ask. she gulps.

"i'd say it's a little more than a crush seeing she broke you outta stillwater as your first date--"

"ran!" sevika hollers. you chuckle.

"is this our first date?" you ask, raising your eyebrow at her. she shrugs.

"it's... jus' don't expect the next dates to be this exciting." she chuckles, rolling her eyes. you grin, then dart forward and press a kiss to her lips. when you pull away, she's wearing that same nervous look again.

"you okay?" you whisper. she licks her lips, nuzzles a bit against your hand on her face, and nods.

"'m just kickin' myself for not puttin' the moves on you sooner. coulda been fuckin' you to pass the time in prison instead of readin' all those boring books." she mumbles. you burst into laughter, and she grins.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika

[clangenrising]

Month 14 - Newleaf

“Thank you all for coming,” Goldenstar said to the assembled warriors of RisingClan. “This should be quick.” Everyone had gathered at sunhigh to talk while the kits were sleeping. Even Sagetooth and Oddstripe were in attendance. The only cat missing was Songdust, whose absence hung heavy over the group like an ill omen.

Yarrowshade shrugged and said, “We’re happy to be here, Goldie.” She smiled and he grinned in return. It was good to see her smiling again. Beside her, Scorchplume’s tail was twined with hers, a development he had noticed a few days ago but said nothing about yet. Neither of them seemed to want to bring it up either so he left it alone.

“We all want to see the end of this war,” said Pantherhaze and the rest of the group concurred. Yarrowshade in particular couldn’t wait to pay the rogues back for all the grief they had caused him. His claws ached to sink into their fur. His skin itched for the satisfaction of a well-deserved wound.

“I’ve been discussing strategies with Scorchplume,” Goldenstar said, “and she thinks there’s a way we could manage to take Razor out of play, which would be huge.” 

“Yes,” Scorchplume said, less excited than Goldenstar was. “It’s risky though.”

“Risky is what we do,” Floodpaw purred proudly. Oddstripe clucked with worry. 

“Right,” said Goldenstar. “A risk with big pay off is way better than continuing to sit and wait. Go ahead.” 

“Alright,” sighed Scorch. Yarrowshade watched her shift uncomfortably and added another smack to the list of punishments he owed Razor. “When Smokyrose came to the city, they were discussing a peace agreement. Until Ghost arrived, it looked like he was going to arrange a one on one meeting with Goldenstar that he would use to ambush her and take out your leader.” 

A few cats shifted bitterly at the mention of Smokyrose. 

“The plan is to arrange that meeting,” Goldenstar said with a fiery conviction in her voice, “and then ambush him back.” 

“But it’s extremely dangerous,” Scorch cautioned. “Goldenstar will have to be basically alone with Razor for at least a few moments. If there are any mistakes, Goldenstar could die.” 

“I could lose a life,” Goldenstar admitted, “but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. As long as the rest of you come in to corner him, we should succeed.” Scorch chewed her lip, tail rippling irritably, and Yarrowshade realized that she still didn’t believe in Goldenstar’s nine lives. 

“I think it sounds like a solid course of action,” Sagetooth said. “I’ll consult StarClan but I think we should plan on going through with it.” 

“We should ask the other Clans too,” said Pantherhaze. “We only won the last battle because of their help. We could use it again.” 

“Yeah, we don’t know how many cats Razor will bring with him,” said Sparrowpaw. “Best to be prepared.”

“I agree,” Goldenstar said, “and I’m sure something this important will get Flightstar and Snowstar to agree to it. Scorchplume believes that Razor thinks I’m the Clans’ only leader, so I’ll also be the one meeting him and taking on all the risk.” Scorch shifted again.

“Just don’t take any unnecessary risks,” Oddstripe said. “I don’t want to have more of you injured than is necessary.” Sagetooth twitched her ear. 

“We’ll train in defensive combat strategies and cooperative fighting in preparation,” said Russetfrond, looking more like himself than he had over the last couple days. Yarrowshade had enjoyed how miserable Mystique’s pregnancy had made him at first but by now he was just glad that the deputy had stopped moping. It was unsettling - too unlike him.

“Good idea,” Goldenstar nodded. “Russetfrond and I will come up with a more decisive battle plan and share it with you all during training. Are there any other questions?” 

“What are we going to do about Songdust?” Floodpaw asked impatiently. Barleypaw nodded. Sparrowpaw looked at the ground. Pantherhaze and Ospreymask leaned forward for the answer.

Goldenstar shifted. “That’s a little more complicated…” 

“I know a cat or two who might be able to help,” Scorch said, “but there’s not much we can do without going into the city which we can’t really do with Razor in power like this.” 

“StarClan will protect her if they can,” Sagetooth said. “Defeating Razor is the first step. Then we can think about rescuing Songdust.” No one seemed satisfied with that answer, but Scorch was right. There wasn’t really anything they could do. 

After a moment or two of silence, Goldenstar said, “Alright then. Meeting adjourned. Everyone focus on preparing for the battle. May StarClan guide us.”

“May StarClan guide us,” said Sagetooth, Oddstripe, Barleypaw, and Pantherhaze’s staggered voices. The cats began to disperse. Yarrowshade picked himself up and moved to talk with Scorch and Goldenstar. 

“Hey, you guys wanna go train or something?” he asked. Goldenstar looked to Scorchplume.

“You two can go,” Scorch said. “I’m not going to go anywhere near Razor.” 

“Still, it can’t hurt to get some practice in, right?” Yarrowshade asked. She looked at him and he swore he could hear her thoughts, how irritating she found him, how much she hated him for ‘choosing Nightfrost.’

“Fine,” she said shortly. 

“Great,” Goldenstar laughed a little and Scorch shot her a subtle glare. “Or what if we scout out places for the meeting instead? That’s something you could help with.” 

“I suppose,” Scorchplume hummed, seeming more inclined to that idea. Yarrowshade couldn’t help but feel like she just liked Goldenstar’s ideas better than his. He swallowed tightly and tried not to look disappointed. 

“Sounds good to me,” he said brightly. “Let’s go.” 

They set out towards the southern border. The day was warm for the season, bright and sunny with a welcome breeze. Yarrowshade tilted his face to the sun and tried to enjoy the warmth of it. 

“How’ve you been, by the way?” asked Goldenstar.

He tilted his head in her direction. “Good, I guess.” Lonely. “I’ve missed hanging out with you two though.” 

“Same, honestly,” Goldenstar said, leaning into Scorchplume’s side. “I can’t wait for all this business to be over so things can go back to normal.” 

“Normal is extremely relative,” Scorch hummed. “I for one am sick of normal.”

“We’ll just have to make a new normal then,” Yarrowshade tried, offering her a smile. She raised her brows at him but said nothing. He tried not to frown. 

“Scorch,” Goldenstar said softly. “He’s trying. Be nice to him.” Yarrowshade blushed at being called out like that. Was he so obvious? Scorch scowled at Goldenstar but there was no malice in her gaze. 

“I’ll do what I please,” she huffed.

“I know,” purred Goldenstar, “but you guys used to be good friends right? I don’t see the point in holding onto a grudge when you could just get along again.”

“Look,” Yarrowshade cut in, fur prickling in discomfort, “if it helps; I’m sorry for whatever I did.”

“Whatever you did?” Scorch raised her brows even higher somehow. 

“Yes?” he winced. This felt like a trap. 

“What was that, exactly?” Scorch asked. Goldenstar was mouthing something but he was terrible at reading lips. 

“For…” Yarrowshade hesitated. He had to find the correct answer. “For not choosing you?” There was a moment of silence where Scorch sized him up and he and Goldenstar held their breath. 

Then Scorch said, “Apology accepted.” Both Yarrowshade and Goldenstar sighed in relief. Scorch flicked her ear in annoyance. 

But after that, things were alright. Yarrowshade brought up a funny story from hunting with Barleypaw the other day and the others laughed. Scorch poked fun at him with an easy smile rather than a cold, defensive one. Goldenstar wouldn’t stop purring. He still felt like he was walking on thin ice, but at least for now Scorch was finding him entertaining. That was all he wanted, really. 

Discussion moved on to talk about how Barleypaw and her littermates would be warriors in a moon or two. Goldenstar expressed being nervous about her first real warrior ceremony as leader and Scorch and Yarrowshade told her she had nothing to worry about. From there, they started talking about Slatekit and Fogkit and their upcoming ceremony. 

“I still don’t know who should mentor Fogkit,” said Goldenstar as they paused to examine the sightlines on one hill. “I think I have Slatekit settled but Fogkit doesn’t like Ospreymask anymore and I’m not sure who else could mentor her.” 

“She’s a pawful, isn’t she?” Yarrowshade chuckled. “Yesterday I caught her ‘crafting curses’ out of claw sheds and bird bones.” 

“Crafting curses?” Scorch said skeptically. 

“Yeah,” shrugged Yarrowshade. “I don’t know where she got the idea but she said she was trying to curse the rogues to death.” He shook his head. “I’m honestly glad I already have Barleypaw cause I don’t think I would want to try and untangle that whole mess.” 

“Yeah, that’s the thing,” Goldenstar said. “I would take her myself but I’ve already got Floodpaw.”

“You can’t just take every apprentice who seems like they’ll be a pawful,” Scorch huffed. 

“Is that a challenge?” Goldenstar teased and Scorch rolled her eyes. 

“Look, if it’s really such a predicament, just give her to me.” 

Yarrowshade and Goldenstar fell into stunned silence. 

“What?” Scorch bristled defensively. “Is that so outlandish?”

“No, no,” Goldenstar said quickly, a smile spreading across her face, “I just didn’t expect you to want an apprentice! I mean, it’s a pretty big commitment.” 

“Does that mean you’re staying?” Yarrowshade asked excitedly. 

Scorch swished her tail back and forth, puffing up like a ginger pigeon. “For now,” she said. “By the time I leave, Floodpaw will be a warrior and then Goldenstar can take over her training.” 

Yarrowshade cocked a brow, smirking. “I don’t buy it.” 

Goldenstar was grinning like an idiot. “Oh, Scorch!” she purred, butting her head into Scorchplume’s shoulder. “I love you so much!”

“That’s it!” Scorch said, putting both paws on Goldenstar’s face and shoving her away. “I’m actually leaving right now and throwing myself in the river.” 

“Wait, no!” wailed Goldenstar through laughter. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to use the forbidden word!” She threw herself at Scorch’s feet and clung to her like a needy kitten. Scorch huffed a laugh through her nose. 

“Please, your excellence,” she said, pretending to be scandalized, “you forget yourself.” Goldenstar laughed, chest thrumming with an uncontrollable purr. 

Yarrowshade swallowed thickly. Grief, unexpected and overwhelming, flooded his mind as he watched them joke and flirt. Neither of them seemed to notice and he was grateful for it. He carefully turned away and started down the far side of the hill, breathing slowly through his nose to try and stop himself from tearing up. 

Get it together, Yarrowshade, he thought to himself. This was such a stupid thing to cry over! He wasn’t going to let them see him like this. 

“Look,” Scorch said smugly, “your pathetic displays have scared off Yarrowshade.”

“Ah!” Goldenstar cried, still laughing, “Yarrowshade, wait! I’m sorry!”

He paused and let out one last breath before forcing the frown off of his face. “I think this hill is too exposed,” he said, glancing back at them. “Maybe we should try somewhere with trees?”

“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Goldenstar had gotten to her feet and was halfway to him, Scorch trailing behind. Both of them looked so happy it hurt to watch.

“Do you think Orangestar would let us hold the meeting on EarthClan territory?” he asked, looking away. He focused his eyes on the trees up ahead and tried to pretend that he was fine. 

“Maybe!” Goldenstar said. “I’ll bring it up at the Gathering.” 

“Hmm,” Scorch chewed her lip. “Could we take a look anyway or would that be inappropriate.” 

“I’m not sure,” Goldenstar said.

“Probably best to wait for permission,” Yarrowshade said. 

“Yeahhhh,” Goldenstar sighed. “Oh well. Why don’t we catch some lunch and head back?” 

“Sounds good to me,” said Scorch. 

“Yeah,” Yarrowshade turned back to them, smiling again even if it felt a little forced. “I’d love that.”

#clan gen #clangen #warrior cats #warriors #warrior cats oc #warriors oc #clangen oc #clan gen oc #Goldenstar #Yarrowshade #Pantherhaze #Sagetooth #Oddstripe #Scorchplume #Floodpaw #Sparrowpaw #Russetfrond #Newleaf #Clangenrising

[lunaroserites]

Art and Ice - Ground Rules

Pairing: Eventual Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Characters: Natasha, Wanda, Pietro, Loki, Bucky, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, a lot of the avengers cast is mentioned.

Summery: Bucky and Doodle spend some quality time together.

This might a 2 or 3 parter (it's gonna be more because cannot help myself). College AU, our boy Bucky is on the hockey team, and reader is an art major (because I love that trope and couldn't help myself)

Warnings: Not beta'd! All mistakes are my own. Friends fluff, swearing, mentions of college students being college students. Bit of friendly harmless flirting between friends. Bucky is a playboy. Flirting. Mentions of not eating or drinking for a hours (ADHD Brain)

Word Court: 2859

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! ❤️

Please do not repost, translate or otherwise copy my work elsewhere, without my express permission, thank you! Lunaroserites on tumblr and ao3

Catch up here: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 ❤️

You didn’t see Barnes the next day, which wasn’t surprising, it was Friday night after a win so celebration extended into the start of the weekend. Saturday was much the same, you toiled away in the art room in front of a large sketch pad trying to get something together while your canvas dried. 

You also had a small piece you were working on for a gallery wall you were doing for a local gallery that was happening once the semester ended. So your plate was full and adding the insistent nagging from your brain to find Barnes, your patience was wearing thin. 

You threw the paint brush at the sink, it sailed in a smooth arche before clattering in the paint covered sink. You ran your hands over your face and groaned as you leaned forward, elbows planted in the table. Your mind is running amuck and making you lose patience. 

“Doodle,” the new brush you were holding snapped in your tense grip as you looked up, startled. Barnes was standing at the door holding a bag that smelled delicious and your stomach growled. You may have forgotten to take a break and eat. 

“Barnes,” you said, your tone tense. His eyebrow quirked up as he walked in and placed the bag down a few feet away. 

“Are you okay,” your hand kinda hurt from snapping the brush a moment ago, and your head was killing you with a raging headache. Which might be because you haven’t eaten in a while or because you were thirsty. You took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Yeah, just a little stressed,” you answered. The smell of the food in the bag makes your mouth water and your stomach twist in an uncomfortable way. “What can I do for you?” 

“You weren’t at practice all weekend. Nat said you were hauled up in the art room,” he said nonchalantly, you just stared at him. “And I figured I would stop by and check on my favourite girl,” he said confidently, and you rolled your eyes in response. Your stomach decided that moment was the best time to make its presence known and grumbled loudly. Your cheeks immediately darkened in embarrassment. 

“And she said you most likely didn’t eat,” the look on his face caught you off guard, he had a look of genuine concern etched on his features. “She knows you well,” he mused, his tongue poked between his teeth as he winked at you. You leaned back against your chair and extended your hand and gestured to the chair across from you, prompting him to sit. He took a seat across from you and smiled. “I hope you like burgers,” he said as he pulled the bag over. 

“I don’t mind them, are they from Gus’s?” You asked, he nodded. 

“I wasn’t sure what you drank so I got water,” he added, pulling a couple water bottles out of his gym bag. You smiled and chuckled a little at how thoughtful he was being. 

“Waters fine,” you accepted the bottle and cracked it open and drank half it one go. He eyed you suspiciously and you gulped down hard. “I get lost in what I’m doing and sometimes forget to eat or drink,” you mumbled under his intense gaze. 

“That’s not healthy,” he muttered, pulling out a burger and handing it to you. You accepted and opened it up, taking a bite and biting back the moan you almost let out. 

“I know, but when I’m in the zone. I just don’t realise how much time passes,” you said softly, he nodded and you two ate the food in a comfortable silence. 

“Thank you,” you said as you threw out the garbage and sat back down. 

“No problem, can’t let ya starve,” he chuckled and rubbed his chin in his hand. “What’s ya working on?” He asked and looked at the few pieces shattered behind you and a shadow box a few feet away from you. 

“Uh, a project for an art exhibit once schools out,” you answered. 

“Mind if I work on some homework? It’s quieter here than my house,” you raised an eyebrow at him, that was unexpected. “What?” he asked. 

“Nothing, don’t mind me,” you said as you looked down to work on the piece for the shadow box. Your eyes drifted up every now and then as you observed him working on what looked to be some kind of science homework. 

His eyes wandered over your frame every now and then as he took in your look of complete concentration as you worked with a small piece of clay. He couldn’t help but appreciate the dedication you had toward your craft. 

“What are you working on?” You asked after some time. 

“Science homework,” he gave you a cheeky smile. You gave him a deadpan expression. “It’s space stuff,” he answered. 

“What about space stuff?” You asked, genuine curiosity laced your tone. 

“I’m learning about stars,” he tilted the book he was reading, it was open to a diagram of a star. 

“Oh neat!” You took a closer look at the diagrams and then looked back at him. He was rubbing his neck with a sheepish look on his face. “I did a project a couple years ago on Saturn,” you pulled your phone out and showed him a picture. 

“Wow, you did a fantastic job,” he took your phone for a moment to get a closer look at it. “Wait, that looks familiar,” he looked up at you again. “That looks like the one in the observatory.”

“That’s because it is,” you chuckled. His eyes widened a little and his smile broadened. 

“I made out with a girl right next to it,” he chuckled and your smile dropped and you busied yourself with another piece of clay. 

“That’s great,” you forced out through the firm line your mouth was now set in. 

“Why do you do that?” He asked suddenly, noticing your immediate change in demeanour. You looked up and your eyes narrowed at him. 

“Do what?” 

“That? Get all closed off when I say something you don’t like,” he asked. 

“Because I really didn’t need to know you made out with a girl next to my art piece,” you stated. “I was told if I have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” 

“I’m not a child, I can handle criticism,” he defended. 

“That’s not the point. Have you ever once sat down and just chatted with a girl without the expectation of sex afterwards?” You asked, your tone very genuine. He sat back in his chair and looked anywhere but your face. 

“No. Not in a long time,” his answer caught you guard. You were expecting some snide comment or a lie. When you looked at his face, he looked completely sincere. You took a deep breath knowing the answer to the question you were about to ask. 

“Is that why you’re here now?” You didn’t recognize the voice that asked the question. It was soft and meek, nothing like your usual cadence. He didn’t answer right away, and based on the look on his face he didn’t really know what to say or how to answer. 

“Honestly,” he took a deep breath and looked at his hands. “Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. At first definitely. The first time I spoke to you it was. But I don’t know,” his rambling gave away how honest he was being. “I still want to,” he paused, “to still sleep with you. I also want to hang out with you. And get to know you.” 

You couldn’t help the slight upturn of your lip as you released a long inhale, “thank you for being honest.” 

“I might be a prick. But at least I’m an honest one,” he tried to joke. His smile dropped when you didn’t laugh. “So where does that leave us now?” 

“I don’t know Barnes. I don’t want to sleep with you. But I don’t want you to take that as a challenge to get me to sleep with you. If you truly want to be friends, and we get to know one another with no ulterior motives, then we can do that,” you didn’t want to sugar coat it. You also didn’t have the balls to admit you had a tiny crush on him because that would go straight to his dick and this conversation would be pointless. 

“Well to start you could start calling me Bucky, Barnes is so detached,” he gave you a small smile. 

“Well that was the point,” you chuckled. “But okay, Bucky.” His smile grew larger and he pumped his fist in the air. 

“I’m still calling you Doodle though,” he said, his tone serious as he stared at you. 

“That’s fine, I guess,” you chuckled while rolling your eyes at him. 

“So how much of my piece is finished?” He asked, you couldn’t help but laugh and pointed over your shoulder to the large canvas behind you. “That’s empty.” 

“I know. I have to get some practice sketches  done first before I paint on the big canvas,” you decided to not mention the two you ruined.

“Can I see the practice sketches?” He asked hopefully. 

“Sure,” you relented and passed the sketch pad over and watched him look at it. 

“How do you do that?” He asked, passing it back a moment later. 

“Draw?” You raised an eyebrow at him. He nodded. “I just do, it takes a lot of practice and effort. I could ask the same of you, how do you skate so effortlessly?” 

He smiled for a moment before answering, “I guess it’s the same. I just get on the ice and go. The moment I lace my skates up and I hit the ice everything else just fades away, it’s just me, my stick and the puck.” 

“For me, I pick up the pen, or brush and just start somewhere and get lost in it. It’s me, the brush and the canvas,” you finished. 

“Hey,” he was serious now, that caught your attention fully as you looked at him, “I wanted to apologise for what I said the other day…”

“Bucky,” you reached out and placed your smaller hand on his gently as you cut him off, “stop, it’s okay. We both said things that weren’t very nice. For what it’s worth.” You looked into his eyes sincerely, “I’m sorry too. It’s behind us now.” 

He smiled and nodded, “okay Doodle.” 

That conversation was the catalyst to your developing and lively friendship with Bucky, when the team wasn’t travelling for the away games over the next week he would sit in the art room and do his homework while you worked on the art projects you had due. 

It was Thursday night, Bucky was just getting to the art studio after practice when he saw you hunched over your sketch pad, your hands in your hair and you were sniffling. He entered and quickly threw his gym bag down and came around the table and crouched down next to you. He placed his hand on your forearm, trying not to startle you too much. You jumped anyway since you didn’t hear him come in, you were too wrapped up in your own thoughts to notice anything else.

“Doodle,” he said softly. “Everything okay?” You shook your head and slumped into his chest, that caught him off guard, he quickly wrapped his arms around you and hugged you back as you cried into his chest. As quickly as you collapsed into him you pulled back and shook your head. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out and placed your head in your hands. Bucky was a little stunned at how quickly your demeanour changed. 

“It's okay,” he stood and took his usual seat across from you. “Wanna talk about it?” You let out an exaggerated sigh and sniffled loudly. 

“My art professor is a bitch,” you groaned. “And I have a bunch more projects due and she’s just awful. If I didn’t need this course to graduate I would have dropped it.” You pressed your cheek against the table and closed your eyes. 

“What did she do?” Bucky asked.

“After class she decided to tell me she doesn’t know why I bother trying, and that the school was foolish to offer, a no talent, wannabe one of the only full ride scholarships offered for the arts,” you were crying again. You had spent years honing your craft, and fought tooth and nail for the scholarship that allowed you to attend school here. 

“She’s probably just jealous,” you laughed at that, Nat had said the same thing when you texted her earlier about what happened. 

“I have an appointment with the head of the department tomorrow afternoon. This isn’t the first time she’s been awful to me,” you didn’t see his fist clench and the momentary anger flash across his face as you said that. 

“I wouldn’t listen to her Doodle,” Bucky reached across the table and patted your arm gently. “Your art is awesome, and you’re incredibly talented,” he finished. You smiled against the table and lifted your head up to send him a thankful look.

“Thanks Bucky, that means a lot,” you sighed and whipped your eyes with the back of your hand and rolled your shoulders. “I got some stuff done on your portrait,” you said, your voice still a little coarse, but you felt a lot better. His face lit and his full attention was on the covered canvas behind you. You stood and pulled the cover off and showed him, you had some of the out lining done, the positioning and scale perfect. You felt very proud of it so far. 

“Holy shit Doodle,” Bucky stood and got closer to admire the outlining. “You know, once this is done, you should get them to let you display it in the sports annex,” he had a smug tone as he said this. You chuckled and rolled your eyes. 

“Maybe if you bat your eyelashes at the department head, and ask him really nicely, he’ll let me,” you bumped your hip into his and smirked up at him. He smiled down at you and the softness in his eye made your heart skip a beat, you quickly cleared your throat and moved from him to grab a pencil. 

“I’m going to work my homework, and stay out of your way,” Bucky said softly as he moved from your side to sit down again. You smiled looking down at your feet before you started to do some more outlining. 

His eyes would shift from his homework every so often and they would rove over your body. He knew he didn’t have a shot in hell at getting you to agree to sleeping with him, you made that clear and he was really trying to make sure he kept that at the forefront of his mind when he was around you because he really did want to be friends with you.

But those leggings you wore hugged the curve of your ass so perfectly it was making it difficult. He felt his mouth dry out a little as he watched you rock from side to side as you drew on the canvas, and he involuntarily let a low whistle when you stretched up and exposed some of the soft skin of your back. 

You immediately turned and looked at him with a raised brow and squinted at him, full judgement. “Barnes,” you were warning him, he raised his hands up in surrender. 

“Not my fault you look amazing, it's a crime,” he defended himself with a cocky tone. You couldn’t stop the blush that crawled up your neck and on to your cheeks. 

“You’re insufferable,” you groaned, turning your back to him again, the blush still strong on your cheeks. He laughed loudly, before going back to his homework. You couldn’t keep the little smile off your face, you knew he used that line on countless girls, and it was probably a line he used often to get in their pants, but damn he was such a smooth talker, and he said all the right things in the right tones. You hated that you longed for his compliments. 

It was quiet for a while longer, just the sounds of pencils on paper and canvas filling the air.   

“Hey Doodle,” you hummed in response, not wanting to look away. “There is a final game just before playoffs, it's here, do you think you’ll come?” 

“I thought Nat said you guys were done with the home games now,” you still didn’t look at him, trying to make sure your scale was correct. 

“This one isn’t a regular season game, but I think you’ll really enjoy it,” he was being incredibly cryptic about whatever it is. You turned now, and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Then what is it?” You asked as you eyed him. 

“Surprise, but I promise you’ll love it,” he sounded so earnest that you couldn’t help but believe him. 

“Okay,” I chuckled. “I’ll go,” you relented, trying to hide your genuine excitement. 

Taglist: @vicmc624, @calwitch, @learisa, @aaqua-tofana

Feel free to send me a message if you have a request or would like more, or would like to be added to the tag list ❤️

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky x reader #fluff #bucky x you #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes hockey player #hockeyplayer!bucky x artist!reader #college!bucky #college fic #college au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes x doodle

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Yesterday I bought ice cream for the first time this year and thought, huh, what if Nine had icecream as well, wouldn't that be nice :]

[703 words]

---

"You ever had ice cream?" Tails gently elbowed him and pointed towards the open terrace window to a nearby patisserie.

"No...no I don't think I have."

"Well then we gotta change that, my treat!" Without further question or prompt, Sonic jogged towards the shop and stopped in front of what seemed to be a large horizontal freezer, at least it sounded like so.

Nine wanted to stop him, give a second opinion, anything. But at this point it would be way too embarrassing to continue stalling, especially with Tails practically dragging him by the sleeve.

Though the notion of a cold and sweet treat on this painfully sunny day didn't sound too bad, so perhaps it wouldn't hurt to try. Just out of curiosity.

"What are the options?"

"Well for a few unbiased recommendations, the chocolate chip mint – personal favorite, green apple, cookie and tiramisu aren't a bad start!" Tails explained all chipper while counting each of the examples on his fingers, clearly overly excited at the prospect of getting said ice cream.

By the time the two foxes made it to the shop window, Sonic was already holding a two-scoop tall icy treat of his own with a bear-head shaped cracker stabbed into the top of it. Then, with a thanks to the mobian behind the counter, handed Tails his apparently pre-ordered green two-scooped ice cream as well. "Or we could get you the Smurf one."

"What the hell is a Smurf."

"Add that to the list of things to show him, partner." Sonic used the cracker as a stand-in for his index finger as he pointed at Tails who only rolled his eyes but nodded.

Nine snorted while quickly skimming through the colorful selection of the freezer before him.

He figured there was a big-time press on him since they were no longer the only ones in line, so he picked the cookie one, to the silent dismay of Tails.

And wouldn't you know it, it tasted exactly like if you froze over Amy's hand-baked cookies he didn't have that long ago. Though he should stop being so surprised, the food in this universe was always nothing short of a delicacy.

The cracker was maybe a bit too much but hey, it made a good spoon for the parts of the ice cream that threatened to fall off from the sides. It also tasted almost as sweet as he anticipated.

"Just be careful so you don't get a brain freeze." Sonic playfully jabbed at him after paying and bidding the seller person goodbye.

Nine rolled his eyes.

"Oh what would I do without your boundless wisdom, thank you for warning me, Sonic."

He knows what ice cream is and was actually lying before, he did try it once. But to no one's surprise it was just as underwhelming as most edible things in New Yoke. Not to mention he rarely could afford or remember to indulge in such a luxury back there.

"Hey, that was in good faith why must you undermine me so!" Sonic gripped his chest in a theatrical manner and Tails laughed.

"Tch, drama queen." Nine poked his tongue out and then properly gave his attention to the treat at hand.

"Right?" Tails perked up with a cheeky grin that Sonic returned with a comically deep scowl.

"Unbelievable! Traitor!" Sonic cried, but an anamused Tails only returned it with a low kick to his shoe.

Yet another thing Nine was fairly new at was this sort of friendly banter. Usually when he snarked, it was genuinely meant to hurt the person which it was directed at, except now he constantly feared accidentally going overboard with something he intended as a playful jab. Thankfully, Tails is way more vicious than Nine could ever expect so it is yet to be the case.

The overall lighthearted and cooling atmosphere between the three of them couldn't help the genuine smile it put on his face.

They continued their merry way through the bright and clean city streets. Despite his protests in the morning, Nine didn't mind following the two as they now kicked and tripped each other, and amidst their giggles tried to keep their respective ice creams intact.

#sonic prime #i liek imagining nine having a good day sometimes #i thinks he deserves it #also not at all inserting my own favorite icecream propaganda #miles nine prower #nine the fox #miles tails prower #tails the fox #sonic the hedgehog #me when I finish writing

[m0nsterqzzz]

(wife) Natasha Romanoff x reader

word count: 1.8 k

- Snow Day -

summary - snow days with your wife and kids

a/n - ahhhhhh i love snow and natasha.

-------------------------------------------------------

The moment Natasha jumps on top of you at 7am is the moment you decide to divorce her. 

Not seriously, but you did threaten to as she shook your body and practically screamed, “It’s snowing detka!” You opened one eye and sure enough, there was ice frost covering the outside of your bedroom windows and you could see snow covering the trees. 

“That’s nice honey. Now go back to bed.” She shakes her head, jumping off the bed and yelling as loud as she can- which is pretty fucking loud if you didn’t know-, “Kids! It’s snowing!”

Just like Natasha, your kids love the snow more than anything. Probably more than they love you. It's a few seconds before the cheering begins, and then your oldest sons come running into your room and jump onto the bed. “Wake up! Wake up!” Lev, the oldest, practically screams in your face, and then Andy- short for Anthony-, the middle child, lays his whole body weight on top of you. He’s fourteen years old, only two years younger than his older brother and eight years older than their little sister, but after years of working out with Natasha, he’s very strong and putting his whole body weight on top of you means basically cutting off your ability to breathe.

The sound of little footsteps entering the room makes you all stop, and Lena, your six year old daughter and youngest child, enters the room with her stuffed monkey in hand and crawls into the bed next to you. She loves the snow, but she also loves sleep just like you.

“Come here принцесса.” Lev mutters, grabbing his little sister from the bed and holding her in his arms. Her big brothers are her protectors, and if you and Natasha aren’t there to treat her like a princess, her brothers are.

“You wanna build a snowman little spider?” Andy asks, tickling her stomach as a method of waking her up. She giggles, a tired grin taking over her face as she looks out the window. “Snow day?” “Snow day Lena.” She nods, suddenly much more awake as she climbs out of his arms and back onto the bed. You think she's coming back to cuddle with you, but you should know by the devilish grin on her face- one very similar to your wifes- that is not true. She stands up on the bed, then lets her small body free fall onto yours. Was naming her after your sister in law (the one that totally did this shit to you a few months ago) a good idea? Probably not.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

And that's how you ended up gathering up all the scarfs in the house, which only turned out to be 4. Luckily, one of them was really long so you and Natasha can share it once you get outside. While the kids are in their rooms putting on thousands of layers, Natasha is in a tank top and leggings like she's about to go out on a run in the summertime. “Natalia. Where is your sweater? Sorry I meant, where are your sweaters? Plural because it’s fudging freezing outside.” 

She shrugs, continuing to make six cups of hot chocolate despite it being 7 in the morning. You chuckle. “The kids only need one cup each Nat.” She nods, looking down at the cups with a nervous smile. “I know…..three of these are for me.”

You grab a few sweaters for her, forcing her to put them on and then standing in front of her holding in a laugh at the now balloon shaped form of your wife. “You look um….you look amazing honey.” She can't see you considering the beanie going down to her nose and scarf up to about the same place but she can hear you searching through your pockets for your phone. “I know what you’re doing! Do I look stupid to you detka?”

“Yes….and this is going on the Avengers Christmas card.” You snap the photo, running away from her when she begins waddling towards you. 

You go stand out on the porch with her, waiting for your kids to come out and join you in the cold. Why they love the freezing temperatures will always be a mystery to you. When they come out, each kid is handed one cup of hot chocolate that they pull down their scarves to chug. They boy’s aren't too big as they’ve grown a lot over the years since you bought the pieces of fabric, but the new one you bought for Lena when winter season started is practically covering her whole head and Natasha has to pull it down in order to see the little girl's bright smile.

You take your seat at one of the rocking chairs you and your wife bought for your wrap around porch, piling several blankets over your lap and watching with a smile as the kids- that's including Natasha- run out into the chilly forest. When Lev was two years old and you had first adopted the few month old baby Andy, Natasha retired from her job as an Avenger and bought you and your kids a large piece of property and a big house. The land is filled with trees that kids spend evenings placing hide and seek in, and in the summer they go horseback riding with their mom. Natasha takes care of all the animals that live around the property and in the barn, and you spend days doing whatever you wish whether it's helping her or staying inside the house relaxing with the kids.

A snowball flies past your head, and you look up to glare at your wife. “Hey! Why are you looking at me? Look at them!” The redhead points to the kids, who stare at her bewilderment. “You know what? Fuck this.” You mutter, removing the blankets from your lap and running out into the snow. You form a snowball, hiding with your kids behind a stack of hay that Natasha left out the other day. Your wife was an Avenger, a spy, and a shield agent. That's all true. But you live with her. It’s not too hard to pick up on her habits. 

You can hear her crunchy footprints coming up behind the hay, but the kids have already formed even more snowballs so you hold up three fingers, slowly putting each on down until you have zero left. They all jump up, practically yelling war cries as they hit their mother with snowball after snowball. You take this chance to run into the forest nearby, hiding behind a tree with several snowballs in hand.

Once they run out of snowballs and the laughter dies down a bit, you sneak out from behind the tree and begin throwing the snow at the back of your wife. The children laugh, but she turns to you with a devil-like grin and you instantly know you’re in deep shit. “Okay Nat….Nat….our kids are watching. They can't see me go like this.” You dramatically tell her, only bringing more giggles out of your kids. 

“Get her mom!” Lev cheers, and your eyes widen as you look at him in mock offense. 

“Whose side are you on kid?” You ask. He shrugs, holding up another snowball and throwing it at Natasha's head.

“Neither. Every man for themselves!” He sprints into the forest, Andy close behind him and Lena standing out in the open with no snowballs in hand. 

Natasha grins at her, opening her arms for a hug. “Come here and give me a hug, little spider.” The six year old narrows her eyes at the Russian woman before sprinting after her brothers, but Natasha is already forming four snowballs when the little girl gets to the edge of the tree line.

You watch with a grimace as your wife throws each snowball at the back of the little girl, and the force of the snow makes Lena fall face first into a pile of coldness. You smack Natasha’s arm. “Natalia! She’s six years old!”

The redhead just laughs, turning her back to the forest as she grins at you. “She's my daughter. She can handle a couple snowballs to the face.” While she was defending letting her child get hypothermia, Lev and Andy were sneaking up behind her, each with a large pile of snow in their arms.

“Um….Nat-” You start with a giggle, but it's too late and the boys are lifting up the piles to drop them on top of her head. It breaks over her head, falling down in front and behind her like snow and leaving it all over her head and shoulders. “That was for Lena!” Andy yells and then they take back off to the forest, Natasha not far behind.

A few hours later, you watch as Natasha and the kids come back out of the forest, and then plop down in the snow with erratic breathing. You get up from your seat on the porch, walking onto the cold field and then laying down in it right next to your wife.

It's silent for a few minutes, but then the sound of shuffling begins. You look to your side to see Natasha moving her arms and legs, forming an angel looking shape in the snow. You all spread out a little before copying her movements. So that's what you guys do for like three minutes, before standing up and admiring your guy’s work. There are five different sized angels in the snow, the perfect replicas of you and your family.

“Mama. I’m cold.” With a small smile, Nat grabs her by her under arms and hoists her up on her shoulders. 

“I think that calls for more hot cocoa.” “Tasha-” You go to tell her that they’ve already had too much sugar and that Lena is practically shaking due to a sugar high, but she’s making her way into the house with the boys trailing behind her before you can say anything. You chuckle to yourself, following after them.

She’s already grabbing the packets of cocoa powder once you get inside, and the boys settle themselves on the couch as you snatch them from her. She groans, sending you her best pout. You've been married to her for a very long time though and rarely fall for that anymore. “No. They can have something else.” The redhead widens her eyes, trying to put on a puppy dog's face that has you laughing harder than you ever had.

“Fine.” You’re not going to tell her that the only reason you said yes is because Lena was doing the face too. The little girls were much cuter. They cheer, beginning to heat up some milk to put in the hot drink as you go sit down on the couch with your boys. 

Natasha and Lena join you guys, the older of the two sitting behind you on the couch so you can lay your back on her chest, and the boys let their little sister choose a movie which is why you end up watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Your wife isn’t focused on the movie though. She’s admiring you, how you chuckle at the funny parts as your eyes sparkle with joy.

Snow days are her favorite thing, but it’ll never compare to you.

-------------------------------------------------------

#natasha romanoff x you #marvel x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #the black widow #black widow x reader #snow day #marvel x you #marvel

[lnlightning81]

Ice Cream - Part Three

Series Title : Younger Sister

Summary : Ollie takes you around the paddock for ice cream

Pairing/s : Oliver Bearman x Norris!Reader, Lando Norris x sister!reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Masterlist Series Masterlist Oliver Bearman Masterlist Lando Norris Masterlist

Previous

Lando was away doing whatever practice he had been told to do, and Ollie waved to you as he stopped outside the Mclaren garage. Grabbing your phone, you jogged out of the garage, hugging Ollie as you met him.

“Hey, ready for that ice cream?” He asked, and you nodded 

“Yeah! Let’s go get some” You smiled walking through the paddock. Ollie had found a little ice cream stand so that you didn’t have to go too far or leave the paddock, which helped ease your nerves a little. 

“What flavour do you want?” Ollie asked as you stood in the queue. Standing on your toes to see the signs moving from side to side a little before Ollie rested his hands on your shoulders to move to to see the board. 

“The tablet sounds quite nice” You smiled, and he nodded

“Or maybe the Jammy Dodger” You added 

“I think I’m gonna try the Chocolate fudge brownie” He smiled, ordering, turning you to get your order

“What are you wanting to try?” He asked 

“Hmm can I try the jammy dodger” You smiled, and he got his card out to pay for the cones.

“I’ll pay for mine” you told him, and he shook his head, paying for the cones before you could even think about beating him to it

“My treat. You can pay next time” He handed you the cone as you started walking with him.  

“Lando dragging you out again?” He asked, and you shook your head 

“He’s doing some sim work tonight, so no. He doesn’t like to go out the night before qualifying he worries too much” You chuckled, and Ollie smiled 

“You going to watch the F2 race?” He asked, and you smiled 

“I don’t know. I have to be able to sneak away from my brothers prying eyes, but maybe if there’s someone wanting me to watch” You hummed 

“What if I asked you to come watch?” He asked, and you looked at him 

“Well I couldn’t exactly say no to that, could I?” You smiled 

“Then will you come watch my race?” He asked, and you smiled, stopping yourself from walking any further 

“I’d love to come watch your race Ollie” You smiled 

“Come on I’ll take you to my garage” He led you through the F1 paddock and into the F2 paddock. Ollie talked you through who raced in each garage and if he was close with them and all the little bits of information that you’d never need in your life. 

It was nice to see Ollie in his element talking about racing it’s the same look Lando gets when he’s talking about it, the same look Flo gets when she’s talking about showjumping and probably the same look you get when you start talking about something you love just as much. 

You couldn’t help but smile at Ollie as he stood in the Prema garage talking you through how everything was different to the F1 garages you didn’t mean to be staring at him but you just couldn’t help it. He was just great to watch. 

“What? Is there something on my face?” He asked, catching you staring at him. You couldn’t help but blush, looking down at the ground 

“You’re cute when you get all excited about things” you hummed, looking back up at him. It was now Ollies turn to blush as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders 

“Let’s head back to the F1 paddock. Lando and Oscar will be back soon, and I’m due back in Ferrari for some testing” He smiled, and you nodded while walking back to the paddock with him. 

“When did you finish school then?” He asked to make small talk as you walked. Obviously, you started off by dming and then texting, but small talk conversations like these never really came up. 

“Couple weeks ago technically, but I finished my exams like three days ago, which is why this is my first race of the season” you explained, and he nodded 

“Well I dropped out, obviously. I think most drivers dropped out” He chuckled, and you smiled with a nod 

“Yeah, Lando wasn’t exactly helpful if I was ever struggling with school” Ollie laughed at that as you stopped outside the Mclaren garage 

“So I’ll see you tomorrow then?” He smiled, and you nodded 

“I’ll probably be here. For Quali definitely, maybe not FP3” you explained, and he nodded, giving you a hug before walking away to the Ferrari garage. You walked inside the Mclaren garage and through to Lando’s drivers room. 

Sitting on his massage table and stretching while playing your music, waiting for Lando to come back. Lando’s drivers room was really boring, nothing there to personalise it but that was his own choice and there was nothing you could do about it. Jon walked into Lando’s drivers room as you were stretching out your back

“Oh hey, Y/N. I was just looking for Lando’s jacket. Typical English weather it’s started raining” He smiled, and you nodded 

“And he gets moody if he’s cold” you added, and he laughed with a nod 

“That’s very true. Do you know where he’s put it?” He asked, and you shook your head 

“His bag is in that corner, so if he’s brought it, then it’ll be in there” You pointed to his bag, which was next to the beanbag. 

“Thanks” He nodded, walking over to his bag

“You okay?” He asked, checking Lando’s bag 

“Yeah. I've just been standing most of the day so my back and ankles are starting to hurt a little” you explained, and he nodded a little 

“Are you sure? Lando overshares a little too much with me. Says you only get back pain when something is wrong” You chuckled a little with a nod 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Some things just don’t need to be shared with older brothers more than the basic details” He nodded slightly 

“Well if you need anything medical or anything like that, just give me a shout, and I’ll see what I can do to help” He smiled 

“Do you have any heat pads” You asked, and he nodded 

“Yeah, do you want one?” He questioned 

“No, not just now. I just wanted to ask in case I need one this weekend” You smiled, and he nodded 

“Okay. I’m gonna go get ready for Lando getting out of the car” You nodded, moving to Lando’s beanbag and curling up on it while watching TikToks. It felt nice being able to curl up on the beanbag the cramps not only in your stomach but also in your bag, so being comfortable helped the most. 

It felt like years before Lando finally walked through the door and into his drivers room to finally leave for the day. He just needed to get changed out of his race suit and fireproofs before you could leave the paddock. 

“You okay Y/N you look in pain?” He frowned, crouching down next to you.

“I’m fine, Lando. I’m just waiting for you so that I can go back to the hotel and have a nap. I’m not used to these long days yet” Lando smiled with a nod.

“Let me just quickly get changed, then we can get you back to the hotel room” You smiled as he handed you the blanket that he kept in the cupboard. Wrapping it around yourself to keep yourself warm. 

Previous Next

Tag List

@bearryyy

@molten-m122

@thewannabewriter

@lozzamen3

@barcelonaloverf1life

@hiireadstuff

@mxdi0

@f1kenzzz

@seasonswinter

@ellen3101

@via-ferns

@taygrls

@urfavsgf

@hwalllllllelujah

@vicurious28

@ririyulife

@taronyuhunter

@llando4norris

@sbrn0905

@evie-119

@harrysdimple05

#f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 #formula 1 #lando norris x sister!reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris fanfic #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 #ln4 x reader #oliver bearman #oliver bearman x reader #ollie bearman #ollie bearman x you #ollie bearman x reader #ollie bearman imagine #ollie bearman fluff #ob38 x reader #ob38

[spacesodaa]

Xiao x Reader - I'm Alive

Characters: Xiao, Reader

Summary:

In the night I sit alone Lifeless to the world I know Faith loss long ago In this graveyard I'm calling home Carved into the stone A diary of broken bones and Words I should've known

The sky was clear, but the night was cold as Xiao sat in the grass in front of his fellow yakshas' graves.

_____________________________________

Word count: 1,626

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, good ending (no bad endings in this house)

A/N: This is a songfic based on I'm Alive by Story of The Year, also posted on Ao3

In the night I sit alone Lifeless to the world I know Faith loss long ago In this graveyard I'm calling home Carved into the stone A diary of broken bones and Words I should've known

The sky was clear, but the night was cold as Xiao sat in the grass in front of his fellow yakshas' graves. 

The whispers in his head had long ago become screams, the feeling of bindings never left his body even when fighting, worsening while using his mask. 

It was near and he knew. 

Nothing anymore could alleviate his very own and personalized torture. 

He groaned as pain shot through his head, breaking the delicate silence of the cold air. 

Not even wind dared make a peep that night. 

Another flare was about to start and he steeled his muscles just in time before it hit him. 

A vile and searing pain invaded his whole body, making him choke on his own ragged breath, worse than any other flare ups he had endured since he sat down there in the morning. 

His only regret was that he didn't say goodbye to you. 

But you knowing what was going on would put you in danger. 

He knew you. 

He knew you would come and find him, so desperately trying to stop it. 

And you would end up dead, likely by his own bloodstained hands when he would eventually lose any shred of sanity left in him. 

He just hoped you wouldn't notice him missing until it would already be too late for you to find him. 

He wouldn't even leave a body for you to bury. 

All that would be left of him would be a gust of corrupted smoke, easily dispersed by the winds. 

All his companions met that very end, no matter the means which they used to gain death. 

And there were so many times he had thought to join them, to finally be free of this cursed existance. 

Yet he was forever indebted to morax, later he felt he couldn't leave you behind on his own accord. 

But this grave's too deep to ever make it up I'd do anything, anything Just to feel like I could reach the ground I'd do anything, anything now To spread these wings somehow I scream these words so loud But they never make a sound

The screams were now so loud he couldn't hear his surroundings anymore, gripping his hair close to the scalp in blinding pain. 

He so wished for you to hold him, to hear your voice, to be there with him. 

For once in his disgraced and long life he actually wanted to survive. 

He didn't deserve the happiness and serenity you had brought him, your sunshine smile. 

Yet he wanted it, yearned for it with every single fiber of his being. 

He wanted you, wanted to stay by you until you inevitably took your last breath. 

But now he wasn't convinced he would outlive you anymore. 

And for the first time he tried with all the strength to fight the curse. 

To push it down as far as he could so he could see you one last time. 

I'm alive But I'm barely breathing now So place my heart under the ground Lay me down I'm alive But I'm barely breathing now So drag my lungs into the ground Lay me down

Something was terribly wrong. 

Xiao wasn't at the inn. 

He wasn't at Zhongli's either. 

He wasn't with the traveller. 

He didn't answer your calls. 

You had turned upside down almost all of liyue and night had long fallen. 

It was freezing cold, but you didn't care as you walked briskly on the dirt path. 

You didn't know where it was, but at this point you were sure you would find him in a place linked to his dead fellow yakshas. 

You checked all the ruins from Zhongli's stories, racing against time. 

The more the night progressed the more agitated you grew, until you heard a scream and all birds flew away from the trees in a big flock. 

You felt your blood freeze for an instant as you tried to discern the origin of the sound. 

It was then that you felt it, the festering corruption. 

And it dawned on you. 

"Xiao!" you screamed his name as you ran in the direction you thought was right. 

The clearing you reached was creeping full of corruption. 

You saw him, writhing in pain in front of what looked like tombstones. 

Your heart squeezed in your chest. 

This was the place he had chosen to die.��

Alone. 

In the night I sit alone The stars rain on the world below Beg me to explode But these dreams I keep are nowhere to be found I'd do anything, anything just to stop This weight from pressing down I'd do anything anything now To spread these wings somehow I scream these words so loud But they never make a sound

You knelt in front of him slowly, eyes burning with tears. 

Through his muddled sight he recognized your figure, but couldn't get a word out as stabs of pain stole his breath. 

I'm alive But I’m barely breathing now So place my heart under the ground Lay me down I'm alive But I’m barely breathing now So drag my lungs into the ground Lay me down

"I'm here!" you wanted to say it with confidence so badly, but it was wobbly and weak. 

What could you possibly do?! 

In a panicked attempt you grabbed him by the shoulders and activated your vision, pushing as much energy as you could towards him. 

The blood curling scream he let out when you hands touched his skin made you almost retract with your heart in your thoat, but you repressed the awful feeling, biting your lower lip so hard it drew blood. 

You knew it, your healing wasn't enough, it would never be enough to purify the evil and damnation that was stuck on the adeptus now for millennia. 

"Please please please please" you muttered. 

Suddenly a light started shining through your utility belt and a token came free out of one of the pouches. 

You recognized it immediately. 

It was a gift of cloud retainer for helping her. 

A powerful amulet she said, but even though no one had ever been able to activate it, it was enough to ward off monsters and keep you safe.

That was the reason she had given it to you. 

It all became pitch black, your body lost it's weight and your mind lost the time.  It all came back as quickly with a rushing force, that threatened to knock you over. 

But you no longer were in front of the tombstones, honding onto Xiao for dear life. 

There were screams, fire, panic thick in the air. 

Blood flying in all directions and creatures and humans alike flocked in one spot, writhing furiously and being sent reeling back with brand new wounds but with more viscious hatred. 

Amidst all of the chaos was him, swinging the polearm like it was second nature. 

Like his body mooved on it's own and for a moment you could see a flash of horror pass through his amber eyes behind the mask. 

You found you still held onto the amulet. 

A breath came in and out of your mouth before you stepped forward. 

You dragged away creatures, kicked humans and wrangled against black masses. 

Struggling and crying in frustration as you made little progress. 

"Xiao!" you screamed. 

Deep enough so that I'll never feel again Far beneath any chance at breaking skin I'm giving in

Your hand reached for his as he became increasingly buried in the mass of bodies, no longer able to repel them, the mask cracking. 

You pushed as hard as you could, desperation was the only fuel left as the masses crushed your lower half and took away your breath. 

All the promise of smiles and happiness That's a dream I'm not willing to admit I'm not ready yet To face regret No I'm not ready yet I'm not ready yet No.. No.. No..

And your hand finally reached his, gripping for dear life on his bloodstained glove. 

I'd do anything now So spread these wings somehow I scream these words so loud But they never make a sound

The mask broke. 

The amulet shone brighter and brighter. 

I'm alive But I’m barely breathing now So place my heart under the ground Lay me down

You snapped back to reality, sweat dripping from your forehead, chills biting your body. 

You gulped and finally looked at Xiao. 

Your heart sank as you watched his pale form, head thrown back, still as stone. 

He gasped and screamed lurching forward as he furiously gripped and scratched at his shirt. 

You hadn't realized a shocked sound had escaped your lips until he turned to you in a panic and shook you to get your attention. 

"Oh thank the arcons!" you cried. 

Your eyes burned with hot tears as you tried your best to still his shaking body and calm him down. 

"It's fine, you're okay now, I'm okay" you quickly said, taking his hands in yours. 

You gently tugged at his arms and brought him to your chest. 

Xiao immediately responded to the hug, holding onto you like he was scared you would run away that instant. 

His face was hidden in the crook of your neck, but you could feel his shoulders shake with silent sobs as you gently rubbed circles on his back. 

Slowly, his breath steadied and his body stilled in your arms. 

I'm alive But I'm barely breathing now Tread my lungs into the ground

"Rest, I'll be here. You're okay now" 

Lay me down

#xiao x reader #angst with a happy ending #genshin angst #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #xiao genshin impact #hurt/comfort

[andreawritesit]

WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO

Synopsis: After being a part of the Donquixote "family" for 10 years, a certain clumsy man with a heart of gold helps you escape the cage.

Pairing : None really, a little Doflamingo x Reader; a little sprinkle of Corazon x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Doflamingo's backstory and Doflamingo himself.

She stirred in her sleep as a small hand tugged at the green scarf that was tied around her neck. Cracking an eye open, she looked at the boy trying to wake her up, his cheeks flushed. She sat up straight and held the little boy’s hands in hers. 

“My my, you’re so cold Law! Come here, I’ll warm you right up. I’m sure Corazon will be back soon.”

Law nodded and huddled closer to her. She untied her scarf and wrapped it around his petite frame, calming his shivering body down. He seemed to immediately feel better as his teeth stopped chattering. She rubbed his arms up and down, while keeping an eye out for Corazon, who would be on his way back to them with the Ope Ope Nomi.  

Hurry up, Rosi. I don’t know how long he can hold on… 

Law had long fallen asleep and her eyes were starting to droop too. She slapped her cheek lightly to stop sleep from taking over her. Corazon should’ve been back by then but he was nowhere to be seen. Any hope she had left was slowly dying and terrible thoughts were swarming her mind. What if he got caught by the executives? Or what if Doflamingo caught him? He’s probably dead…

Snow was falling over them now as the little to no protection of the tree was rendered useless by the winds swaying the leaves around. Law was asleep but he didn’t look good at all. Most of his face had turned white and his cheeks were brightly flushed. Poor child. She looked up at the falling snow and her mind drifted to that day. The day her life changed. The day she met Donquixote Doflamingo…

--------10 years ago----------

Under the torn rug, a young girl with dark black hair lay hidden, hands over her mouth to stop any sound from escaping. She could smell the stench of death in the air as gunshots rang heavily around her. She couldn’t understand why the World Government would order a buster call on her island. In one instant, her entire life was turned upside down. The people who had miraculously survived the blasts were now being shot to death. A strangled sob escaped her lips and she quickly shut them together. The horror of being found silenced her voice and she closed her eyes. Her momentary peace was taken away as the rug on top of her was harshly pulled up. She opened her eyes and saw a weird man looking down at her. He had snot running down his nose and his appearance was quite disturbing.

“Nya Doffy, look what we have here”, he said to another person who was standing a little farther from her. As he came closer, she saw him clearly. He didn’t look that much older. He was wearing a wine-colored suit and his eyes were covered by sunglasses. He glanced at her trembling figure and said something to another man standing next to him. The other man was also weird-looking or maybe he had makeup on, she couldn’t tell. He nodded to the man in sunglasses who came closer to her and picked her up.

“Do you want to live?” His voice was deep. Perhaps he was older. She really couldn’t tell. All she managed to do was nod her head. He smirked at the response and handed her to the man in makeup. 

“Corazon, take her to the ship. We’ll leave this island in an instant. The Navy will handle the rest of the cleansing.”

Corazon held her wrist and dragged her away from the place that used to be her home. She looked back at the now burned down house and a tear slipped onto her cheek. The man took her to a ship where other weird-looking people were waiting for them. She looked around trying to make sense of everything. Suddenly she felt someone’s hand on her cheek and she turned to see Corazon wiping her tears. He gave her a wide grin which she tried to return but all she could manage was a small smile. The man with sunglasses also boarded the ship and gave the orders to leave. Everyone on the ship seemed to be in good spirits except Corazon. He was solemnly sitting away from them, glancing back at the misfortunate island now and then. She decided to go sit next to him but was called out by the sunglasses man. She thought it best not to disobey so she went to him instead. 

“What’s your name?” he asked her, sipping wine straight from the bottle. 

She didn’t reply. Her name was something that reminded her of her parents and she didn’t want to remember them at all. Her head lowered as more tears slipped out. The man raised an eyebrow at that and with a sigh, put the bottle down.

“When I ask something, I want an answer instantly, do you understand?” His voice was stern. She wiped her tears quickly and looked up at him. He truly seemed to be young, maybe around her age. 

“I apologize. My name is (___).”

“Hmm. How old are you?”

“I turned 18 last week.”

“Nya Doffy, she’s the same age as you but look how tiny she looks compared to you,” the snot-faced man commented and burst into laughter. No one else laughed. 

“How would you like to work for me?”

She wasn’t sure what to say. They were pirates and she had no such talents that would suit such a life. But this was her only option. She had nothing else left.

“I’m not sure what I can do for you…”

“Fufufufufufu, I’m sure we’ll find something for you to do.”

“Then I’ll be glad to help. You saved my life after all.”

“Young Master.”

“Huh?”

“That’s what you’ll call me.”

“Of course, Young Master.”

------------------------------------------

The first 3 years were very difficult for her. Adjusting to the Pirate lifestyle was the easier part. What’s difficult to learn was to live with Doflamingo’s family; to learn not to laugh at Pica’s voice, to learn not to make Gladius angry, to learn not to offend Doffy in any way, to not disobey him, and so on. If there was one easy thing, it was getting along with Corazon. She learned that he couldn’t speak but that didn’t stop them from sharing each other’s pain with each other. She soon learned that he was Doffy’s own brother and that he didn’t like how cruel his brother was. As for her role in the family, she was to look after the young ones, Baby 5 and Buffalo, and later Law. At least that’s what everyone thought. In reality, she used to sit with Doflamingo and listen to everything he had to say. One might say she was his therapist, only she couldn’t say anything. She listened and he opened up to her about his inner feelings and turmoil. He told her about his father – Donquixote Homing and how he had left his luxurious life in Mariejois. His father hadn’t thought about the repercussions at all and had led his wife to death and his kids to get tortured. His story gave her an understanding of why he was so cruel but it in no way justified his behavior as a grown-up. He was a tyrant and he knew it. She felt bad for him but she felt even worse for Corazon, whose real name she learned was Rosinante. He had gone through the same things that his brother had and yet he was a much nicer person. Over the years, Doflamingo had grown quite fond of her. Anyone who didn’t know him would think he was in love but he was incapable of that. The feelings he had for her were the thing closest to love but it wasn’t love. It couldn’t be, right? She tried to make herself believe that it wasn’t. However, his behavior indicated otherwise. He was much more polite and sweet to her than the other family members. He brought her gifts and took her sight-seeing. She thought it was a reward for listening to him without complaining. Perhaps it was. Or perhaps it wasn’t. Before she could find out, Corazon turned her life upside down. 

It was after he overheard Law talking to Baby 5 and Buffalo. He had picked up Law hurriedly and dragged him into an alley. It might’ve seemed suspicious to anyone but she knew Corazon well enough. She quietly followed them and hid behind the wall to see what was happening. What happened there shook her to her core. He spoke. He spoke clearly and well and said some things that changed everything. After Law ran back, she came out of her hiding place and decided to confront Corazon. He told her everything, about the Celestial Dragons and the Clan of the D. She decided to help him get Law away. 

---------- back to present day -------------

The boy and the woman were woken up by the loud gunshots. She got up quickly and picked up Law. He held onto her tightly as she took out her gun. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you with my life. Corazon will come here and he’ll get you away from here!”

“Both of us. Cora-San will save both of us.”

She nodded and held him closer, ready to shoot down whoever came down the street. Someone did come running their way but it was Corazon. She let out a sigh of relief as she recognized him. He ran to them quickly and took out a red fruit.

“Look! I got the Ope Ope Nomi! Eat it quickly. Doffy is here!”

Her eyes went wide and she looked around in panic. Law looked absolutely crestfallen and shook his head.

“Even if I eat it, there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to do away with my disease…”

Corazon grimaced at his words and put the entire fruit into his mouth.

“What nonsense are you saying? It will work. Eat it! Come on!”

Law swallowed the entire fruit and wiped his tongue in disgust. Corazon smiled at the boy and fell face first. Blood oozed out from under him and they ran to him.

“Cora San! What happened?” She turned him around and fell backward in shock. 

“You’ve been shot!”, the kid exclaimed, panicked. 

He began flailing his arms over his body. “Get better. Get better. Heal him. Stop bleeding! Stop!”

Corazon laughed softly and put his hand over his head. “I told you, it doesn’t work like that. It’s not magic.” He took out something from his pocket and handed it to her. “Give this to the Navy. They’re around the coast. Hurry up.” Before she could stand up, Law took it and ran off. She tried to go after him but Corazon coughed up blood and she decided to stay with him. She put her faith in the kid and began taking out the bullets that were in his body. She tore the sleeves off her shirt and wrapped them around his torso. He smiled through it all and kept looking at her. 

“Why weren’t you careful, you idiot! If Doflamingo is here, we need you the most. How could you let yourself get shot like this!”

He clasped her hand and tugged her to himself. She leaned over him and with her free hand, she removed strands of hair from his face. 

“Listen to me carefully. I don’t think I’ll make it out of here alive. Once Doffy finds me, he’ll kill me. Take Law and get away from here. Doffy must not get his hands on the Ope Ope Nomi. Promise me, whatever happens, you’ll live.”

She looked into his eyes and saw no fear. She kissed his forehead and smiled at him.

“Law will be free. And so will you. We’re all making it out of here. Hear me? All three of us.”

“Of course. We’ll all be free.”

----------------------------------------

Doflamingo held her wrist tightly as she once again tried to run to her friend lying in front of the treasure boxes. She knew Law was in one of them. Corazon had used his Calm Calm Fruit abilities on Law to make him silent. 

“Why did you have to get in my way? Why must I kill another member of my family now?”

Corazon struggled to stand up but he did and pointed his gun towards Doflamingo.

“Law won’t obey you. Neither will she. They’re no longer prisoners, neither to their circumstances nor to you. They’re free!”

All hopes left her body as she heard the shot ring. Doflamingo shot his brother. Once, twice, thrice, a fourth time, a fifth, and finally a sixth, sending his body flying back to the treasure chests. A piercing scream left her lips as she tried to run to him once again but Doffy’s grip held her back. She looked up at his face which was stoic and emotionless.

“How could you?! How could you kill your own brother?!” Her voice was an emotional mess as tears flowed down her cheeks one after another.

He looked at her and tried to wipe her tears but she jerked her head sideways. “I don’t tolerate betrayals. He was my brother but he betrayed me. He only got what he deserved.”

“Then kill me too! I betrayed you too, didn’t I? I ran away from you! Kill me too you hypocrite!”

“Oh, believe me, I have much worse in store for you. You’ll never even dream of leaving me again.”

He turned to Trebol and nodded his head. 

“Nya, get the treasure, and let’s leave.” They picked up the boxes and left. She kept looking back at Corazon’s dead body, hoping to see him get up but he lay there motionless. Now her only reason to live was to make sure Law got out of there safely. As they reached their ship, the Navy began firing at them. During the commotion, she saw Law leaving one of the boxes and running away. She let out a deep breath, happy that Corazon’s death hadn’t been in vain.

“Go Law, be free. Live a long and happy life, my boy. Rosi will look after you” she said under her breath as Doffy dragged her onto the ship. 

#one piece #one piece fanfiction #doflamingo x reader #corazon x reader #andreawritesit #one piece x reader

[laiqualaurelote]

First Lines

Tagged by @nostalgicatsea (forever ago but I'm only getting to my tags now). Thank you!

Rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 (or however many you have) posted fics and see if there’s a pattern!

speak easy, swing hard

When the shots rang out in the Arc, the band didn’t stop playing. It was twelve minutes into the new year at a Stark speakeasy and the joint was jumping, the floor crammed with gin baby socialites essaying the Charleston, mobsters clustered around tables, petty thieves circling and dipping into the pockets of the unwary; when the bullets started flying the crowd screamed and sought to scatter but the bandleader barely blinked, just led his crew full tilt into another chorus of ‘I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate’ while the singer, a svelte Sokovian songbird in a shimmering scarlet number, sidestepped a bullet that buried itself in a piano leg and kept right on crooning, All the boys in the neighbourhood know she can shimmy and it’s understood, while all hell broke loose on the dance floor.

well-versed in etiquette, extraordinarily nice

“You must know, Mr Crowley, that this is to be my last job,” said Jane.

all the men and women merely players

In with the wind blows the news that the Players are coming to town. 

constant as a northern star (constantly in the dark) 

Sachiko Crimm meets Ted Lasso for the first time in a Lidl.

The Lady With The Recorder Asks The Questions

“You took out the line about the threesomes, didn’t you?” 

ain't practical, a world you can't touch

Just a whole lot of aiming, he’d told Cornelia once. But it’s Martha Myers who misses.

maybe everything that dies someday comes back

“He don’t look like much,” said the client. “You sure he’s the chap we’re after?”

a song that will keep sky open in my mind

We knew Eli was back because of the baby. We could hear it crying clean across the wheat fields. 

can't start a fire without a spark 

It was a whole thing when Eddie Munson and Chrissy Cunningham blew town together and ran off to start a rock band.

A Gentleman's Guide To Love And Piracy

Day seven of my return to the high seas, wrote Stede in his journal. Since Lucius was no longer around to take dictation, the journal existed only in his head. Morale is low, I will not lie.

Patterns - I'm a big fan of in media res (it worked for Homer and it works for me) and so I like to start in the middle of things. I'm also trained to write hooks for people with short attention spans, so my first lines tend to be crunchy. The one exception is the first on the list, which is from speak easy, swing hard, the 1920s Prohibition-era Avengers AU I wrote for @nostalgicatsea as part of @marveltrumpshate. I wanted it to evoke the wild, chaotic tempo of a hot jazz number (something like the intro to this) so most of it is a pile-up of a long run-on sentence, and the writing continues in this fashion until Tony shows up to calm things down, whereupon the paragraphs go back to being a brief couple of lines each. I learnt this trick from seeing how translators handle action sequences in wuxia novels.

Tagging: @leupagus, @themardia, @auntieclimactic, @nagia-pronounced-neijia, @eisoj5, @swallowtailed, @justplainsalty, @bropunzeling, @st-clements-steps, @sagiow and anyone else who'd like to do this!

#procrasktination #ted lasso #miss fisher's murder mysteries #mfmm #the english #tag game #stranger things #marvel cinematic universe #the avengers #good omens #jane austen #ofmd #our flag means death spoilers

[linaxart]

Hm I've been having a hard time lately with my art, I feel like I'm asking something of it that it can't quite give me, at least not through the processes I usually articulate it through. I don't know what style I need to push for, or what subjects, I rather only know the themes or sensations I want to express and hazy at that

#i keep getting stumped and blocked by the smallest things #which obviously means it's other stuff stopping me #like not having time in my commute #or my bedroom too messy to work on the floor to do collages #it's not really about that #it's because I can't see the route and the destination clearly so i don't know which direction to drive #anyway i got all the way to a single draft here #which has probably not happened ever since i startes this blog three years ago! #im trying to be okay with that! #while also trying to find catharsis for this creative energy stagnant in my body #lina talks #if you read all this honestly i love you

[miabrown007]

a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au #suffice to say that is not happening #it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas #that will not be happening for a while longer #I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out. #but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you #I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on #but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime #and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally #depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad #I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned. #put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better #hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad #anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued #I know I won't like it why is this so hard #heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted #a year ago really #not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily #but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour #does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other #that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3 #(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai. #he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo #but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course! #*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter* #*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end* #war crimes look so good on them :3 #miaing #heist au

[crossbackpoke-check]

"This extra space next to me belongs to you. I know where I end now. I won't get lost." -- shoot me (metaphorically) and leave me for dead (metaphorically) why won't you. To make this about Dylan and maybe it's about Connor, maybe it's about Brinksy, maybe it's about any journeyman in the NHL. My brain screamed Chris Driedger and his memorable (to me) Players' Tribune article:

And how can you mention Dylan and Zach (Za-ach, the way Dylan says it) without me having a breakdown about them? You simply can't. And for the younger dudes, maybe it's a little Bords/Briss, not yet steady in The Show, a little bit of distance, a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately... and then a blurry insta story in Vegas. Just like old times but somewhere else. Maybe it's not the same bed, maybe it's not the same set of forks, but maybe it's the principle of the thing.

Anyway, goodbye. Sorry for this, your tag walls make me break out in imagined scenarios.

Much love. xxx

please never be sorry for sending me messages <3 i love reading them i love getting them i think they’re beautiful and i love them i’m!!!!! [🥹💕🦋🫧✨💘😭 <- the best approximation of what my heart is doing]

ok NOW i am taking this step by step because every narrative here kicked me straight in the knees (metaphorically) i am w e e p i n g (literally): i knew tangentially about chris driedger going to seattle but i had never read his players’ tribune love letter to seattle & all i can say is oh. oh. and with the part about trains delayed but still being right on time—

sometimes a dream is a truth your heart knows long before you do. the space that the city and the team made for him (“you’d be the only guy on the team”)🗣️🗣️🗣️ !!! but the way that chris talks about needing to put in the work & leo not letting him quit,,, that’s chris filling up the teakettle with twice as much water, crowding one side of the bed (falling asleep against a bus window dreaming), becoming unburdened by the idea of not being their guy, not having the fallback being their draft pick to content and settle himself with. that’s chris betting on a future. that’s the train coming down the tracks, right on time.

(i am feeling unhinged about it)

SECOND. i know i was the one that said zach and dylan to start so technically i brought this on myself but also i have been ktfo by the mere mention of the way that dylan says zach’s name different from everyone else, stealing an extra breath, stealing as much time as he can get with him, which reminded me of a poem i just read:

The Need Is So Great, Jim Moore

^^^dylan still in love with zach even as he’s leaving, can feel himself losing him, and taking every sliver of the love in his smile that he can get. even if he knows zach doesn’t still feel the same way he’s drawing out the long goodbye & saying i love you in a thousand ways without ever saying it out loud (“i have been asking for a time but in ways that have no words” because he doesn’t want to ask too much, to ask for love) in the hope that zach will say it back OKAY I’M LEAVING i can’t do this

that was a lie because THREE. “maybe it’s the principle of the thing” please insert the most ungodly screech how could you just (lovingly) come in straight with the steel chair and bean me upside the head with that l i n e i think this story has the potential for such tragedy in it but also the most tender domestic longing because bords & briss have known each other for a long time (i think) and guys do sometimes lose themselves when they first get to the nhl.

it’s a big scene, you’re with big name guys, you’re finally doing the thing you always dreamed about, you’re no longer necessarily the best because everyone’s the best, you’re not sure how you fit in, you can get lost in the glitz and the glamor of it but you can also literally get lost in it, the slog of the season and getting caught up and down between teams and leagues and endless airports and buses and travel and ice rinks, losing your phone (accidental) and having new people hound you for quotes and fame and connection so you lose your phone (on purpose) and i think where i’m trying to go is: this could play out as the tragedy of borde going to the california coastline and briss shipping off to the vegas strip and both of them getting a little lost.

maybe there’s someone else, maybe i am steadfastly not thinking about “a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately” as either a summer of them pretending things are ok after a year of barely speaking and now being completely different people they never were before OR a summer of them trying to pretend like they can forget about each other because maybe they didn’t think their relationship was the same thing, is all, when they were or weren’t together. maybe it’s nobody’s fault but for the fact that they were scared and tired and lonely trying to make it in the big times and didn’t know how to show it. and then borde shows up with takeout and plastic forks in vegas and it’s december and nothing like winter in ann arbor and still they fill up all the empty spaces in each other with the things they didn’t know they’d miss until they were gone and this is the real thing, not whatever they were trying too hard to be, to recreate their own nostalgia for the love in their memories. it’s the principle of the thing, is all, to always be true to the love they have right now & not what they think it should be.

sorry that i wrote you kind of an essay of an answer but i had so so so many thoughts because your ask was so lovely so thank you for sending it to me (you are always welcome to!! i love your imagined scenarios!!! cannot even explain how much!!!) & thank you for taking the time to read my walls of tags :))) <3

#liv in the replies #every time you send me a message i do the thing where i’ve got heart emojis for thumbs & cease any coherency #FIRSTLY chris driedger who i loved as seattle’s goalie without even knowing the story: #dreidger fourth layer of a dream is making me tear up AGAIN hours later as i try to write this the echl the coast easy come hard to leave & #when he talks about being somebody’s guy laying my head down in the bog & dragging my hands over my face chris who let you say that. who let #u break my HEART i truly don’t think i will ever recover from the inception reference bc that’s what they all talk abt u know? the nhl dream #the players’ tribune articles are often some of the most poetic & touching sports writing & every time i am reminded i lose my shit about it #SECONDLY: #the ever present spectre of dylan’s first boyfriend zach werenski #i have so so so many quotes? drafts? posts? about the thing with saying someone’s name to call them closer to you i say your name to speak #more of you into the world so i will possibly look for some of those to say what i mean but also: this poem was originally reminiscent of #willingly by tess gallagher which is my ajax jack / superbuddies poem & this specifically did go with the a drop of paint / the light has #fallen through you part of it but there’s a part of THIS poem which i did not include that talks about the late light / has already happened #will go on happening forever & that whole poem with this now to say i know it’s embarrassing i’m asking for it :: easy to write about light #like falling asleep on the couch & having to carry yourself up to bed is the dylan/zach heartbreak of this. waiting & waiting for the things #you used to do & the love you used to / were promised to have with the hope that if you keep the coffee ready he’ll come drink it & instead #you have too many cups of tea one yours & one cold then half-warmed over & too sweet for your tastes but you’ve learned to drink it anyway #okAY now third: #this w/the UMICH BOYS? N O I DIDN’T EVEN!!! NOT A THOUGHT IN MY BRAIN!!! & now i can’t stop thinking!!! & i had an entire PLAYLIST already #a ??? while ago before i even truly knew the umich boys Narratives™️ i heard maude latour’s song ‘one more weekend’ & went hahaha isn’t that #a great song for when you have that One Summer of college before everyone splits off into their own lives? isn’t that a fun little umich boy #going into the nhl narrative?? to which i said NO but then it spiraled into a playlist &now there is delightful heartbreak to go with vibes #umich scholars please feel free to correct me if i’m wrong on any points i can’t remember anything presently about anything #also the f a c t that that vegas picture is real and i know exactly what you’re talking about is making me %^•*]+£’ bc how!! is that real!!! #okay ALSO just throwing in brinksy like a casual AHAHA have brainworm for a year (my autocorrect tried to go bringst like angst which. lmao) #connor and dylan… all of my journeymen… we did not touch that because i WILL start yelling about sam gagner and marc staal and #the chrysalis and the caterpillar