#which generally means that writing isn’t fun like it’s supposed to be

[em-dash-press]

Connecting With Your Reader's Emotions

We’ve all read a book or story that captured our hearts and made us feel things very deeply. It’s a superpower writers have, but it isn’t something we’re born with.

Connecting with your reader’s emotion happens when you’ve practiced writing. It becomes easier after each rough draft, each great draft, and each terrible draft.

But—if you want to save yourself some time, these are a few perspectives you can use to sharpen your writing tools.

1. Display Your Protagonist’s Inner Emotions

Your readers want to experience a character’s journey by connecting with them emotionally. We pick up books to feel things while learning something or just taking a break from life.

Displaying your protagonist’s inner conflict could look something like: She saw the ghost in the hallway, which scared her.

Your reader will feel more engaged if you describe how fear makes your protagonist feel instead of them feeling fear generally: She saw the ghost in the hallway and fear shot through her body like lightning.

You don’t need tons of flowery language to make your reader feel the same things as your character. Sometimes a minor descriptor or simile can do the job.

2. Show Your Protagonist’s Feelings Through External Reactions

Emotions don’t solely exist inside our hearts and minds. We also have external reactions to them. That could be nodding in confusion, shifting uncomfortably in a chair, or bending over laughing.

Consider this example:

“I love your laugh,” Anita said to Alice. “It makes my heart skip a beat.”

Heat spread through Alice’s cheeks as she smiled.

“Oh, you don’t mean that.”

You don’t need to mention how it feels to receive a compliment from a crush or why flattery is nice to hear. The physical reaction of blushing is something the reader can relate to and understand.

3. Make Your Reader Feel Something Your Character Doesn’t

This is a fun one. Sometimes characters have to figure something out, but the reader already knows what’s going on.

This could happen when you’re writing a horror story that is supposed to teach the reader about the joy of recognizing your own strength. The protagonist has the skills in the beginning to defeat the evil antagonist, but must reach rock bottom before cheering himself on. The whole time, the reader knows they can beat the antagonist and survive because they have the brains/strength/creativity, etc.

You could also write an enemies-to-lovers arc where it’s obvious to the reader that both characters are in love with each other long before they realize it. The reader should want them to embrace the scary feeling of falling in love, because that’s what you’re trying to teach through your story.

Consider Your Story’s Purpose

Writers have a purpose behind every story. What do you want readers to learn, consider, or experience through your own? You can use these methods of connecting with your reader’s emotions to make your plot’s purpose that much more powerful and engaging.

#emotional fiction #writing tips #writing advice #writing emotions #plotting #plotting tips #character creation

[mysterious-ocarina]

Multi-Bitch

Chuuya Nakahara x reader

A/N my longest fic yet, I just couldn't stop writing. I love him so muuuuch. Fun fact, I only started the show because I saw a random edit of him and dazai and decided I needed a piece of that. also just got caught up on the manga and boy oh boy such a good story!!!

please give me recommendations for books to use as abilities or just abilities in general for bsd content

Main Masterlist BSD Masterlist Requests AO3

(3.7k words)

“You have got to be kidding me,” you groaned. “Out of all the Port Mafia members that you could have paired me with, why did it have to be him?”

Ranpo was sitting in front of you, happily enjoying his bag of chips. You were tempted to grab the bag from his hands but you were too nice of a person to do it.

“Because, you guys would be a good combative match,” he informed you, mouth full of food. “I already know where you two need to go and what to look for. The mission shouldn’t take long, even for idiots like you guys.”

You would have strangled Ranpo’s scrawny neck if Kunikida hadn’t stepped in. “Look, I know you don’t like working with the Port Mafia, much less him, but it needs to be done.”

Kunikida’s right. There was someone out there killing people without leaving any trace of being there.

“And we’re sure that this is an ability user and not something that the police can handle?” you asked. For all you know, it could just be a very thorough criminal. You were going to try anything to not do this mission, not that it will work.

“Am I ever wrong? Nope, so best run along,” Ranpo waved at you with a giggle.

You sighed before grabbing your stuff at your desk. You made your way to the cafe downstairs, waiting for your partner to arrive.

“Well, if it isn’t Multi-Bitch. Didn’t know you would be my partner for this,” the one and only Chuuya Nakahara voiced behind you.

“Keep calling me that and I’ll spill my coffee on you, it’s still hot,” you replied, refusing to turn around and acknowledge him. 

Chuuya took a seat next to you, “Do you know where we are supposed to go? I want to get this over with so I can get away from you faster.”

Being as professional as you could, you handed him a piece of paper with the address on it. “The ability user should be in this inn. We need to stake it out, and figure out which guest is the next target, then prevent anything from happening.”

“I don’t understand,” he replied.

“Of course you don’t. I wouldn’t expect someone as hot-headed as you to understand strategy,” you easily retorted back.

Fuming, getting close to your face, “I understand strategy, just not this one. How are we supposed to figure out who the next victim is?”

Pushing his face away from you with your finger, you coolly answer him, “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe we’ll find out the next victim when we watch a suspicious person trying to break into another person’s room. God, you are so incredibly dense.”

“You know, one day you’re going to get what’s coming for you. I would love to beat you in a fight,” Chuuya replied, red in the face with anger.

“Can’t wait,” you shrugged, getting up from your seat. “As exhilarating a fight with you might be, I think we both know which of us would end up the victor.”

“We can test that out right now,” Chuuya replied, grabbing your arm and pulling you into him.

You didn’t have a reply as you stared up at him. The hand on your arm felt like it was burning and there was some unknown feeling buzzing between the two of you. You opened your mouth to offer a mean retort but nothing came out.

“Let go of me, asshat,” you replied, instead. Seething, you ripped your arm from his grasp and made your way outside the cafe to get this mission started.

You didn’t dare look back to the man behind you, but you heard as he sighed and followed you out the doors.

Chuuya hopped onto his motorcycle. You tried to not focus on the way his hands gripped the handlebars and the way his thighs looked, straddling the machine. You hopped on too and wiped your hands on your pants, a nervous habit.

“Grab on to me tight, princess. Wouldn’t want you to fall off,” he paused, turning his face to look at you. “Actually, in that case, nevermind.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you barked, wrapping your hands around his waist. You could feel his stomach clench as he laughed at you.

The entire ride to the inn, you thought about the man in front of you. Sure, he pissed you off to no end, but that didn’t mean you were blind. He was certainly attractive, especially with the confidence he carried himself with. If you were to see him on the street, without knowing him, you would have thought he was your type.

That didn’t seem to matter though because he seemed to make it his life mission to piss you off. He antagonized you more than Dazai antagonized him, which was saying a lot. You two have never had any combat fights thankfully, ‘cause his ability could definitely overpower yours if he wanted to.

“We’re here,” he announced, parking his motorcycle. You let go of his waist and stretched your legs.

Chuuya stood, leaning against his bike, “How long do we have to wait?”

“I don’t think too long. All of the murders happen around this time so if we go by that information, they’ll be here within an hour,” you replied.

The both of you sat in tense silence, as you watched the inn for anything suspicious. Finally, you broke the silence, “Lemme ask you something.”

“Go ahead,” Chuuya waved his hand at you, clearly bored.

“Why are you so hostile to me? It can’t possibly be just ‘cause I’m in the agency,” you asked. You always wondered why the two of you had the kind of relationship you had. Most of the mafia and agency were pretty much indifferent to each other. The only serious discourse was between Atsushi and Akutagawa as well as Chuuya and Dazai. Then there's you and Chuuya, which doesn’t really feel like hate but it certainly does not feel warm and fuzzy.

“You’re so easy to bother, it’s funny to me,” he paused, as if he wanted to continue but chose not to elaborate.

“You hate me, just because it’s easy to,” you seethed, stepping up to him.

“Woah, woah. I never said I hated you, I just like to piss you off. You’re the one that hates me,” he defended himself, pointing a finger at you.

“I never said I hated you either,” you replied back. You grabbed his finger from in front of you, twisting it back until he yelled.

“You fucking Multi-Bitch. What the hell is wrong with you? How are you going to say you don’t hate me and then hurt me right after?” Chuuya seethed, holding his finger in front of his chest.

“Maybe because I just like to piss you off,” you mocked his earlier statement. “And quit calling me that.”

He got incredibly close to your face again. So close, you could feel his breath on your face. That unspoken tension buzzed between you again. You leaned forward, thinking about indulging in a fantasy you tried to bury deep within yourself. Chuuya seemed to stop breathing as you both stood there, sharing your breaths. Before either of you could do something unspeakable, Chuuya glanced behind you.

“Shit, look,” he grabbed you, pulling you behind a nearby car in the parking lot.

Facing away from him, red dusting your cheeks, you saw what he was talking about. A person walked to each window, looking through until they reached a room with occupants in it. Without touching the door, they opened it and walked inside.

As soon as you heard screaming, the two of you burst into action making your way to the room. You tried the door knob but it was locked.

“Chuuya,” you notified, before stepping back and pointing at the doorknob. He kicked the door down, startling the intruder.

Entering the room, you saw a woman and a small boy, presumably the people staying in this room, cowering in the corner of the room. Then you took in the man who was wearing a mask covering the bottom half of his face. This man, stood between you and the victims, arm outstretched towards a dagger floating in the air in front of him.

He turned to face you, pulling his face mask down. A crazed smile plastered on his face, “What do we have here?”

His voice sent shivers of disgust through you but you’ve dealt with worse so you steeled yourself.

Chuuya, without hesitation, replied, “Two people who are going to kick your ass.”

You sighed, annoyed, “Dude, there’s literally a child right there.”

He shrugged, as if to say oh well.

“Do you want to know why I was able to kill so many people without a trace of evidence?” the man asked, stepping away from the family and closer to you.

“Not really, but I bet you’ll tell us anyway,” you rolled your eyes, looking like the definition of nonchalant. In the corner of your eye, you saw Chuuya smirk at your attitude.

The man stepped closer to you. As uncomfortable as his proximity made you, each step further away from the victims was a small victory for you.

“Using my ability, I don’t have to touch anything. No fingerprints on the door, nor the blade I use. You would be surprised how easy it is to evade getting caught by only simply not leaving fingerprints,” the man rambled. 

You and Chuuya shared a look. A telekinetic ability user shouldn’t be too hard for the two of you but you need to get the victims out of harm's way as soon as possible.

“You know, most people would use their telekinesis to get the tv remote when they're lying down. I guess most people aren’t psychotic like you,” you smirked.

Before the man could reply, Chuuya ran at the man, aiming a kick to his stomach. Knowing that Chuuya can handle a decent fight, you used his distraction to get to the woman and boy.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of here,” you whispered. You wiped a tear from the boy’s face and gave him a soft, comforting smile. You grabbed his hand and gave the woman a smile too. Once the woman and child were outside and safe, you made your way back into the motel room.

The man had straddled Chuuya and had his dagger dangerously close to Chuuya’s neck. Coming up behind the man, you wrapped your legs around him before flipping him over behind you. While he was disoriented, you grabbed Chuuya’s hand, helping him up.

“I had that,” Chuuya complained, dusting scuff marks off his pants.

“Sure you did,” you rolled your eyes, sticking your tongue out at him.

Before Chuuya could retort, the man got up. Both you and Chuuya got ready for more fighting.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” you questioned, holding your hand out.

“I think so, princess,” Chuuya replied, grabbing your hand tightly in his.

You let your ability loose, watching as multiple exact copies of yourself and Chuuya materialized around the room. Chuuya had you and your copies lightly hovering over the man, towering over him.

“Over here,” you giggled, your voice echoing from all directions of the room from each copy of you.

You watched the man look around his surroundings wildly, not knowing which copy was the real one.

“I may not be able to hurt you because of your ability, boy,” the man seethed. “But I can certainly harm your lady friend.”

Before either of you could move, you watched as the man controlled his dagger, making it fly through the air into each of your copies, too fast to dodge.  One by one, each of your copies dematerialized as they were hit with his flying dagger, until eventually you felt a sharp pain right below your stomach. 

Letting go of Chuuya’s hand to hold your stomach, you fell to the ground.

“Stupid bitch, you really thought you could beat me. I must take your lives in place of the two you guys saved,” the man chuckled.

You looked down at your hands on your stomach, gagging at the amount of blood covering them. Not able to think straight, you weren’t entirely too sure what happened but you could see a blur of a fight until Chuuya was straddling the man.

You couldn’t move, and it was then when you realized why there was no sign of struggle in any of the victims. There was a paralytic chemical laced on the blade. You coughed up blood, alerting Chuuya.

“Shit, it’s gonna be fine, princess,” Chuuya panicked. He crawled towards you, reaching for your stomach. You grabbed his hand the best you could in your state.

“Chu-” you coughed again, eyes becoming glassy. “Don’t touch it. There’s something on it that paralyzes his victims.”

“Well what the hell do I do then? We need to stop the bleeding, I’ll call the agency. That doctor girl of yours should be able to help, right?” Chuuya rattled. His anxiety was palpable but you felt eerily calm.

“L-look how bad I’m bleeding. They won’t get here in time,” you coughed again. You could taste the blood in your mouth. “Didn’t know getting stabbed in the stomach could be so bad.”

Chuuya sent out a quick text before giving you a half hearted chuckle, “Still sassy as ever with your own blood covering your front.”

“It’s my best quality,” you lightly boasted. You felt light-headed, “I’m tired, Chuuya.”

You let your head rest against the wall behind you.

“Oh no, princess. Don’t close your eyes,” Chuuya quickly instructed. He pushed some hair away from your blood soaked mouth. Voice cracking, “Who am I supposed to argue with, if you’re not here.”

“There’s always Dazai,” you chuckled, earning an eye roll in response. “I-I never hated you, Chuuya. Actually, I quite enjoy our light-hearted banter. It makes me feel like a normal person, not some gifted powerhouse, capable of murder.”

You never heard his response as you slipped into unconsciousness.

“Well if it isn’t Port Mafia Exec. Chuuya Nakahara. . . again,” Dazai commented. He had walked up to your infirmary bed, only to find Chuuya in the uncomfortable chair beside your bed. He had bags under his eyes.

Yosono was able to fix you up, considering how close to death you were, but you still hadn’t woken up a few days later. Chuuya had refused to leave your bedside, surprising not only himself but those of the agency.

“Shut it, asshole,” Chuuya replied, not in the mood to deal with his former partner.

“Why are you still here?” Dazai questioned, getting into Chuuya’s face. “Hoping she dies and you can bring information to the boss.”

“I don’t know why I’m here. I just know that I’m not leaving till she’s awake,” Chuuya replied in a hostile voice. His own feelings were confusing him.

“Aw, do you like our dear y/n?” Dazai teased.

“Do you need something, asshole?” Chuuya hastily replied, dodging the question.

“You’re as transparent as always. I know you well enough to know how you feel,” Dazai bragged about his intelligence.

Lacking a response, Chuuya just rolled his eyes with a groan. Taking pity on the poor man, Dazai dropped a bag of food on your bed in front of Chuuya.

“There’s food for you and her. I know you haven’t eaten and neither has she. She’ll probably wake up today,” Dazai waved his hands at Chuuya.

Ignoring the fact that Dazai was nice enough to get him food, he questioned, “How the hell do you know that?”

“‘Cause, I know everything,” Dazai boasted.

“God, I hate you,” Chuuya seethed. Dazai simply left the room, laughing as he went.

You opened your eyes, quickly shutting them as you were blinded by the bright lights. You could recognize the clean smell of the agency infirmary, meaning you were in fact alive. You could feel an IV hooked up to your arm and a heavy weight in your hand.

You groaned, trying to stretch your muscles but feeling too tired to be able to.

“Well, rise and shine, princess,” you heard a familiar rasp. You opened your eyes fully to see a tired looking Chuuya. “I have food for us to eat.”

“What the hell happened?” you questioned. With a groan, you tried to sit up. Chuuya placed his hands on your back to help you up. You welcomed the warmth of his body so close to you.

“Well, after y-you were. . . hurt, I was able to get Dazai and your doctor. She was able to fix you immediately but you’ve been asleep for a few days. She said that even though she fixed your injuries, the stress on your body would make you in need of rest,” Chuuya explained. He opened up the food bag and handed you a burger. His hand was shaking and you weren’t sure why.

“A few days?” you questioned, taking a bite of your burger, moaning at the delicious taste.

Chuuya hummed an affirmative, taking a bite of his burger. Neither of you said anything as you both sat and ate. You were still hungry after your burger and fries so Chuuya gave you the rest of his burger.

You cleared your throat, “Have you been here the whole time?”

“Yup,” Chuuya replied, refusing to look you in the eye.

“Chuuya~” you sang, teasingly. “Did you want to make sure that your favorite detective was going to stay alive?”

“Well it’s not hard to be my favorite detective when the rest of your colleagues are asswipes, especially a certain suicidal maniac,” Chuuya grunted, not denying anything, arms crossed against his chest.

“I’m honored to be your favorite,” you giggled. “I think you’re my favorite psycho mafia member.”

You watched as crimson covered his cheeks and ears before he turned to face you again, pouting, “Hey, I am not a psycho.”

You hummed, dubiously, “To be debated.”

“Whatever. God, you’re so annoying,” Chuuya replied, not able to hide the smile that was beginning to form on his face.

“Seriously, I’m glad you’re awake,” he nervously informed you, making crimson cover your face this time. “Did you mean what you said, about not hating me?”

“I meant it all,” you replied, confidently. Tired of hiding your feelings from yourself, you were going to be transparent. You grabbed his free hand, holding in yours.

Chuuya stared at your joined hands, seemingly in thought. Eventually he spoke up, “I was really worried about you. Especially because you were talking like you were going to die, which I knew I didn’t want to happen.”

Taking the initiative, you pulled Chuuya’s hand bringing him closer to you.

Face still red, he smirked at your boldness. He closed the distance until your faces were inches apart.

“Earlier, when we were in this position, I wanted to kiss you,” Chuuya whispered. So you weren’t the only one who felt the tension. Good to know.

“What stopped you?” you whispered back.

“Your annoying face,” Chuuya smirked, before closing the distance further.

You shouldn’t have expected any less from Chuuya but he kissed you with passion. It was not a soft and gentle kiss. It was like making out with the devil.

The butterflies in your stomach released with a moan coming out of your mouth. Chuuya smirked, pulling away. He gave you a soft second kiss before backing all the way up.

“Wow,” you said with a sigh. Chuuya gave you a smile. You wiped the smile off his face by saying, “No wonder you were single. Your kissing skills could use some work.”

“God, what is wrong with you?” he groaned. It was your turn to smirk now, which was soon replaced with a smile when he questioned, “Were single?”

“Well, of course. Do you expect me to share my mafia executive?” you asked. Chuuya gave you an eye roll.

“Then if my kissing skills could use some work, can I practice on you, Multi-bitch?” he laughed.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt, bringing him closer to you, “Only if you stop calling me that.”

“Never,” he replied, before swooping in to kiss you again.

BONUS

You were sitting at your ADA desk, finishing paperwork that you were behind on since your injury. You were simply minding your business but when Dazai is around, that doesn’t seem to matter.

“Soooo. . .” Dazai scooted his chair closer to you. “How are you feeling, Juliett?”

“You talking to me? Who the hell is Juliette?” you questioned the maniac in front of you.

“You know, like Romeo and Juliett,” Dazai easily answered. He had a wide smile on his face, making him look more sadistic than over.

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not committing suicide with you. Leave me alone.”

He scoffed at your answer, “First of all, I only ask pretty woman to commit suicide with me. That’s not what I meant. I was talking about you and that waste of space of my ex-partner. If you’re Juliett and he’s Romeo, then that makes the agency the Capulets and the mafia the Montagues. But that doesn’t make sense because I imagine the agency to be blue and the mafia to be red.”

You flicked his forehead, stopping him from continuing his stupid thought. You groaned, exasperated, “Shut the hell up.”

“I’m just saying. I knew you guys would be a perfect match from the start. I am the one who suggested you two for that mission,” Dazai boasted.

“And how the hell would you know we would be a match,” you sighed. You understood Chuuya’s exasperation when it came to the suicidal maniac.

“Because. I just know everything,” Dazai claimed. You got up to smack him in the face. He held his cheek with a pout.

When you sat back down, you saw your phone screen light up with a text message.

Can’t wait to see you later, princess.

You smiled, replying with a that makes one of us :)

#fluff #female reader #one shot #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #chuuya my beloved #chuuya x reader #chuuya x y/n #chuuya x you #bungou stray dogs #fanfiction

[yuikomorii]

Ever since some people joined this fandom it’s getting worse. Ayato isn’t even that hard to understand come on now 😵‍💫😵‍💫

// The fandom is getting more immature day by day. Like, I thought we solved these type of things last year??

They say Ayato stans are bad but I’ve never seen one openly slandering a character as much as he gets slandered in the Western fandom. Ok, he’s not your favorite, we got it, but if he’s such a problem to you, open the Notes App and vent there your frustrations. It’s not that hard.

I just find it ironic how this type of behavior is only coming from Western fans. East-Asian fans are way more respectful and chill. They know how to respect the role given to Ayato, without discrediting him or bringing up their favs against him. Most of the people there enjoy Ayato, even if he isn't the main bias for some or the most complex character. They like him because he has a lot of heroic attributes and is DO-S, which adds "spice" and makes a good balance in a game for masochists.

The whole “Ayato stans treat Ayato like the main character too much” is such a boring take. How are they supposed to treat him when Rejet writes such stuff about him to begin with??

I will also never get why people see him as such a threat for that but okay, I guess. I mean, the other characters still get routes and merch, so it’s not like he’s more “privileged” than the rest.

And I swear, Ayato stans are not rubbing it in your faces when saying that Ayato is the most successful character. It’s true that he’s very impactful, but you should also keep in mind that such a thing doesn’t only benefit Ayato as a character, but also DL as a franchise and Rejet as a company. Given that he sells so much, the good amount of money allows Rejet to generate more content for ALL of the characters. Furthermore, when he appears somewhere outside the DL fandom, him getting attention will automatically result in the franchise getting attention as well.

Last but not least, the entire "he's overrated," "he's not that cool," "he outshines other characters," "x is better" opinions and favoritism claims make me WHEEZE (not in a nice way). Ayato Sakamaki is a FICTIONAL character. This is not a kpop group where actual people are being mistreated; it is simply a WORK OF FICTION. When individuals see a character who gets a lot of attention and is adored by a lot of fans (for example, Gojo, Natsu, Todoroki, Bakugo, etc.), they will find a way to whine about how much they suck, how they don't deserve those compliments, and so on. This is referred to as being ✨insecure over pixels✨. You are free to dislike anything you choose, but keep your negative opinions to yourself or only share them with your friends. Remember: fandoms are supposed to be fun, not battlefields.

#admin

[halfusek]

man. batdr archives. what

i hate them

sorry im gonna go full on hater mode here because oh my god? oh my god

i’ve got a sneaking suspicion that this came out now as damage control for the AI thing because 1. it wasn’t included in the game all along like BATIM’s archives were and 2. this tweet

like was it thrown together in such a rush that they forgot a whole ass character?

or it is a joke and was a planned action half a year after the game came out but eh who knows

either way this is not what i’m here to rant about (cuz im sure this is gonna turn to a rant)

it’s about bad writing, bad exposition and bad game design. buckle up!

i see what they mean with the smile being a challenge to create, you can see in countless animations for fansongs how different artists tackled that and for one i think they did that very well

however. why the clothes exactly? is it just a meta reason with no reasoning in-universe whatsoever?

and look i’m not a fan of the ink demon having a voice (though i respect the craft behind it, the voice actor is very talented, it’s just a personal preference) BUT if you made the ink demon talk you should by logical extension either make toon bendy talk as well or explain why the hell he’s talking? i can see it being distracting but there are characters that have squeaky annoying voices in games and they’re fine (and it’s not like toon bendy is around the player for a super long time)

i dunno what logic this whole thing operates on anymore but if joey commissioned the ink machine then it should be his and arch gate got all his shit after he passed away so idk what retrieve is supposed to mean here

but it could just be badly written sentences and the archive is full of those (once again making me think that the thing was done in a rush)

that’s fair i guess

yall did make him look like a generic demon tho

i mean... it could be worse? if the goal was to make him look out of place then it was achieved but idk if it’s actually a good thing

i do like the bit about Wilson influencing how things look under him being in control of the cycle (though they have a very silly definition about what the cycle is but more about that later)

dude. the beast bendy design was already bad in BATIM and they made it even worse in BATDR like what TToTT

its just an angry mountain of muscles, the batim design at least had that leg injury thing going on which made moving with front arms make more sense, this dude right here is just a big inky gorilla (and not in a good way)

playing as the final form in on itself isnt a bad idea, does sound quite fun, personally tho i did not enjoy the very ending on the game

i dunno it just felt weird and all the other characters randomly appearing and the lost ones attacking being so awkward and ink demon acting as if they could kill you... nah man i wasn’t feeling it

okay so lets get this straight

cycle = a series of events that repeat

breaking the cycle would mean doing something different and stopping the cycle from continuing (so what... wilson was doing actually)

saying that making it restart again is what breaking it means is just??? no?

“satisfying face reveal” welp. each to their own XD

i see their purpose theme and thats neat and all but man do i hate how henry in this game is just. there and how some stranger is the person helping him get out of his horrible fate like its sooooooo unsatisfying

yeah she got more personality ill give her that

but she’s not a beacon of hope. she’s a beacon of tearing away the satisfaction of defeating a villain that we as the player worked hard towards

and uh... isn’t getting thrown into a horrible dimension full of monsters that audrey isn’t familiar with and is supposed to be freaked out about a bad moment to introduce a familiar face? like from a writing perspective, because it happens nearly instantly as chapter one starts

shouldn’t audrey be unmotivated then and struggling to figure out the world on her own? the player should also be haunted at this world, like it’s a horror game bestie ! don’t make me comfortable

well glad to hear the confirmation on that batds is happening in pararel to batdr

but his involvement in the main story is honestly such a nothing burger

is he there just so you can put batdr on the “can you pet the dog” site?

oh ok so what you’re basically putting down here is that he’s a boring perfect extremely rich guy, wasn’t even a bad father, completely stripping wilson’s arc of depth, cool, was afraid there would be something of substance powering the backbone of the plot of this game

and saying that both joey and wilson are worse people because theyre cringefail at business XDDDDDDDDDDD

ok here is something that im glad they addressed because ive been wondering about it - how audrey forgot that joey was her dad and how did she end up working at arch gate then

i suppose it implies that there’s something we might still learn/theorize about it, like for example if it was the machine drawing her in or gent wanting to get the machine back and manipulating things into place from behind the scenes

i really wonder how you can enter in and out the ink realm unnaturally but good to mention why he looks like that if he’s supposed to be nathan’s son

you cant just say that a character was important to the story, its not gonna happen from words

how is she important exactly? she just talks and uh.. helps audrey make the drink that makes you fall asleep? man that section of the game was Weird

i do want to like her, she seems nice and there could be interesting things to her backstory but as for the plot she really didn’t do much, sorry, betty

if you wanna say that pushing the plot forward by giving audrey that drink and then alice appearing outta nowhere and kidnapping here is a good big contribution then idk what to tell you... its such a bad way to make the plot progress, it was so confusing because characters were behaving as in forced to do Things to Progress the Plot (especially Audrey drinking that thing at all like seriously girl?? and Alice appearing comically at the last sip like wooooooow are you for real)

ah. so they were attempting a redemption arc

[saying this he didn’t threw aside the large rock. he was right to be holding the large rock]

this sucks man! what did joey help correct exactly? created more ink people to suffer eternally? wow, dude, thanks

also lmao what learned from his mistakes, did you HEAR his dialogue at the end of batim?? (an audrey can be heard right after that scene as well so isnt his whole change of heart supposed to be happening around here + allison has already been added to the squad)

it’s just... it’s just such bullshit man

you can make us like joey as a character but don’t you fucking dare make us like him as a person

bad. just bad

(aaaaaand this is the part that made me realize i wish the archives just. weren’t added! wow! i’m even surprised with myself with how much I Don’t Like them)

WHAT flaws??? hello??? please give it a big thinking and tell me what flaws does Audrey have im shaking and crying

also is her “deep dark past” supposed to just be like bEINg JoEY DRewS DAUghtER OOOoooOOo? lmao. wow so dark wow so deep

i dont know why this story needed a fresh pair of eyes because the story is that audrey is joeys daughter and that wilson is nathan archs son and that bendy is bendy. wow so deep so dark and complicated!!!!!!!11!!111

also whats the point of fresh eyes if you welcome us with familiar faces?

also sorry to break this to you but its not hard to stand out from the kinda cast that is presented to us in this game. sorry i cant decide if i care more about audrey or random employee number 24 with a random problem that i have 0 reason or time to get attached to. i seriously cant decide

suuuure we were so muddled xD oh you got us so good you sneaky little cheeky little quirky little

cant fucking believe we almost had a proper nathan arch jr and a secret one eyed villain that there was so much hype about and theories that they obviously tried to deliever here

its speculative but. knowing that they take inspiration from fan theories - they admitted to it and ex employees said so, i think we would have to be in some serious denial to think that @lucky-dreamfisher​‘s one-eyed bendy theory wasn’t meant to be represented here with wilson’s character

ALSO THIS NARRATIVE. THIS NARRATIVE HAS ZERO- NO, NEGATIVE AMOUNT OF COMPLEXITY

GOD

this story makes so much LESS sense based on what you said! aaaaaaaa we were so close to greatness

what is so wrong with not resetting the cycle then?

not that im a fan of how wilson was approaching things, he very clearly wanted to make himself the ruler of this realm and have power over everyone but sounds like that sure beats living under ink demons reign?

but also idk if this is entirely true like in batim chapter 5 we can see that lost ones were capable of making that lost harbour and sammy is later mentioned to have mastered a special ability too so??

i wish we learned more about the pit because it sounds quite interesting and we were working hard towards getting there and finally didnt get to see it at all (a shame! very unrewarding to the player)

im not gonna comment on reverting here cuz its a serious mental thing im not knowledgable about

i haaaate this

you... this is not how exposition is done!

show don’t tell?? how about SHOW don’t TELL??

what in the goddamn. you can’t just pull that outta your ass and say yep. this is how it is. bro. dude.

im referring here to the ink machine bit, the previous sentences can actually be seen in the story

but the design does not reflect what is written here

and they are doing so much of that in these archives, this telling of the story in a place that is not meant for telling of the story, you do that IN the STORY. rarghrgrh

surprise i found another nice thing: confirmation on that alice was the one who mutilated the butcher gang, cuz i dont think that was ever confirmed before but at least you can find implications of that in the game so its fine to outright confirm that here, good job about that

i dont know what theyre on about carley, she doesnt really look like that to me and ive looked at her model in the archives, in the files and at peoples renders of her and i just dont see it

but i guess it might mean it was like a suit that someone got stuck in- FNAF?!>!!>!?

no way. no fucking way

we got robbed what ToT

he was removed in favour of WHAT???? AMOK????

dude there ill be real. there’s barely anything that is worth keeping there instead of having him play a bigger role

and im not even that big on sammys character! hes one of my least liked characters personally even! but at least there is something more to him and just man after 5 years you could have given him more than just a dumb wilhelm scream joke, that almost feels like a spat in the face lmao

thanks for again confirming something though with that flow thing, as we noticed sammy uses gaps in the wall in batim chapter 2 to travel around the place

why not have him teach audrey the flow ability? imagine how could that would have been

im just baffled this exist but sammy apparently had to be cut out

lol

lmao

moving on

my brother in christ why are you making it a mystery if she will appear, she literally appeared in every game so far with quite major roles

also... what layers? sure in batim with her story (susie’s story) there sure been some layers, susie’s story in batim is probably aside from joey’s story the deepest character arc they got

but alice in batdr? she’s there to play a stupid game she set herself up to lose, get mad at that (eh?) shoot you and die

what layers, really

gender

but also idk i found the fight annoying and random, you could throw it out and not much of value would be lost, put sammy back in

YOU MADE HIM NOTHING

YOU TOOK A PERFECTLY FINE ENEMY AND GAVE IT ANXIETY THATS WHAT YOU DID /j /ref

idk if id describe the ink demon as putting the player on edge because he doesnt actually roam the place

you see a grey overlay on your screen and you need to hide or you die... which gets tiring fast and annoying

you totally could still have lurker (even if just restricted to some areas) as a free roaming monster

and the unlikely ally thing is just so bland like yeah he’s there, we know nothing about him aside from that he eats hearts, incredibly charming fella 

not thrilled by his design either but that issue i already had with the first trailer but i guess they just sticked with that

bendy devs not use mental illnesses as derogatory terms challenge

i like the crab boy design, he’s sillay

bro forgot a texture tho

so yeah not. happy with the archives

sorry if im like overly negative but ive honestly tried to give this sequel (because despite what they were saying it IS undoubtedly a sequel) my best assumptions and it turns out its nearly all the worst assumptions

its annoying, im annoyed

they should hire a writer to help them get this mess together, maybe get adrienne in on it, i dunno, because clearly if they need to be specific and not leaving things open like in batim, then they arent managing very well

they even fucking killed harold

#bendy and the dark revival #bendy and the ink machine #batdr #batim #halfpost

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Linkty Dumpty

I was supposed to be on vacation, and while I didn’t do any blogging for a month, that didn’t mean that I stopped looking at my distraction rectangle and making a list of things I wanted to write about. Consequentially, the link backlog is massive, so it’s time to declare bankruptcy with another linkdump:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

[Image ID: John Holbo’s ‘trolley problem’ art, a repeating pattern of trolleys, tracks, people on tracks, and people standing at track switches]++

Let’s kick things off with a little graphic whimsy. You’ve doubtless seen the endless Trolley Problem memes, working from the same crude line drawings? Well, philosopher John Holbo got tired of that artwork, and he whomped up a fantastic alternative, which you can get as a poster, duvet, sticker, tee, etc:

https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/145078097

The trolley problem has been with us since 1967, but it’s enjoying a renaissance thanks to the insistence of “AI” weirdos that it is very relevant to our AI debate. A few years back, you could impress uninformed people by dropping the Trolley Problem into a discussion:

https://memex.craphound.com/2016/10/25/mercedes-weird-trolley-problem-announcement-continues-dumb-debate-about-self-driving-cars/

Amazingly, the “AI” debate has only gotten more tedious since the middle of the past decade. But every now and again, someone gets a stochastic parrot to do something genuinely delightful, like the Jolly Roger Telephone Company, who sell chatbots that will pretend to be tantalyzingly confused marks in order to tie up telemarketers and waste their time:

https://jollyrogertelephone.com/

Jolly Roger sells different personas: “Whitebeard” is a confused senior who keeps asking the caller’s name, drops nonsequiturs into the conversation, and can’t remember how many credit-cards he has. “Salty Sally” is a single mom with a houseful of screaming, demanding children who keep distracting her every time the con artist is on the verge of getting her to give up compromising data. “Whiskey Jack” is drunk:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/people-hire-phone-bots-to-torture-telemarketers-2dbb8457

The bots take a couple minutes to get the sense of the conversation going. During that initial lag, they have a bunch of stock responses like “there’s a bee on my arm, but keep going,” or grunts like “huh,” and “uh-huh.” The bots can keep telemarketers and scammers on the line for quite a long time. Scambaiting is an old and honorable vocation, and it’s good that it has received a massive productivity gain from automation. This is the AI Dividend I dream of.

The less-fun AI debate is the one over artists’ rights and tech. I am foresquare for the artists here, but I think that the preferred solutions (like creating a new copyright over the right to train a model with your work) will not lead to the hoped-for outcome. As with other copyright expansions — 40 years’ worth of them now — this right will be immediately transferred to the highly concentrated media sector, who will simply amend their standard, non-negotiable contracting terms to require that “training rights” be irrevocably assigned to them as a condition of working.

The real solution isn’t to treat artists as atomic individuals — LLCs with an MFA — who bargain, business-to-business, with corporations. Rather, the solutions are in collective power, like unions. You’ve probably heard about the SAG-AFTRA actors’ strike, in which creative workers are bargaining as a group to demand fair treatment in an age of generative models. SAG-AFTRA president Fran Drescher’s speech announcing the strike made me want to stand up and salute:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4SAPOX7R5M

The actors’ strike is historic: it marks the first time actors have struck since 2000, and it’s the first time actors and writers have co-struck since 1960. Of course, writers in the Writers Guild of America (West and East) have been picketing since since April, and one of their best spokespeople has been Adam Conover, a WGA board member who serves on the negotiating committee. Conover is best known for his stellar Adam Ruins Everything comedy-explainer TV show, which pioneered a technique for breaking down complex forms of corporate fuckery and making you laugh while he does it. Small wonder that he’s been so effective at conveying the strike issues while he pickets.

Writing for Jacobin, Alex N Press profiles Conover and interviews him about the strike, under the excellent headline, “Adam Pickets Everything.” Conover is characteristically funny, smart, and incisive — do read:

https://jacobin.com/2023/07/adam-conover-wga-strike

Of course, not everyone in Hollywood is striking. In late June, the DGA accepted a studio deal with an anemic 41% vote turnout:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/26/23773926/dga-amptp-new-deal-strike

They probably shouldn’t have. In this interview with The American Prospect’s Peter Hong, the brilliant documentary director Amy Ziering breaks down how Netflix and the other streamers have rugged documentarians in a classic enshittification ploy that lured in filmmakers, extracted everything they had, and then discarded the husks:

https://prospect.org/culture/2023-06-21-drowned-in-the-stream/

Now, the streaming cartel stands poised to all but kill off documentary filmmaking. Pressured by Wall Street to drive high returns, they’ve become ultraconservative in their editorial decisions, making programs and films that are as similar as possible to existing successes, that are unchallenging, and that are cheap. We’ve gone directly from a golden age of docs to a dark age.

In a time of monopolies, it’s tempting to form countermonopolies to keep them in check. Yesterday, I wrote about why the FTC and Lina Khan were right to try to block the Microsoft/Activision merger, and I heard from a lot of people saying this merger was the only way to check Sony’s reign of terror over video games:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/14/making-good-trouble/#the-peoples-champion

But replacing one monopolist with another isn’t good for anyone (except the monopolists’ shareholders). If we want audiences and workers — and society — to benefit, we have to de-monopolize the sector. Last month, I published a series with EFF about how we should save the news from Big Tech:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/saving-news-big-tech

After that came out, the EU Observer asked me to write up version of it with direct reference to the EU, where there are a lot of (in my opinion, ill-conceived but well-intentioned) efforts to pry Big Tech’s boot off the news media’s face. I’m really happy with how it came out, and the header graphic is awesome:

https://euobserver.com/opinion/157187

De-monopolizing tech has become my life’s work, both because tech is foundational (tech is how we organize to fight over labor, gender and race equality, and climate justice), and because tech has all of these technical aspects, which open up new avenues for shrinking Big Tech, without waiting decades for traditional antitrust breakups to run their course (we need these too, though!).

I’ve written a book laying out a shovel-ready plan to give tech back to its users through interoperability, explaining how to make new regulations (and reform old ones), what they should say, how to enforce them, and how to detect and stop cheating. It’s called “The Internet Con: How To Seize the Means of Computation” and it’s coming from Verso Books this September:

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con

[Image ID: The cover of the Verso Books hardcover of ‘The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation]

I just got my first copy in the mail yesterday, and it’s a gorgeous little package. The timing was great, because I spent the whole week in the studio at Skyboat Media recording the audiobook — the first audiobook of mine that I’ve narrated. It was a fantastic experience, and I’ll be launching a Kickstarter to presell the DRM-free audio and ebooks as well as hardcovers, in a couple weeks.

Though I like doing these crowdfunders, I do them because I have to. Amazon’s Audible division, the monopolist that controls >90% of the audiobook market, refuses to carry my work because it is DRM-free. When you buy a DRM-free audiobook, that means that you can play it on anyone’s app, not just Amazon’s. Every audiobook you’ve ever bought from Audible will disappear the moment you decide to break up with Amazon, which means that Amazon can absolutely screw authors and audiobook publishers because they’ve taken our customers hostage.

If you are unwise enough to pursue an MBA, you will learn a term of art for this kind of market structure: it’s a “moat,” that is, an element of the market that makes it hard for new firms to enter the market and compete with you. Warren Buffett pioneered the use of this term, and now it’s all but mandatory for anyone launching a business or new product to explain where their moat will come from.

As Dan Davies writes, these “moats” aren’t really moats in the Buffett sense. With Coke and Disney, he says, a “moat” was “the fact that nobody else could make such a great product that everyone wanted.” In other words, “making a good product,” is a great moat:

https://backofmind.substack.com/p/stuck-in-the-moat

But making a good product is a lot of work and not everyone is capable of it. Instead, “moat” now just means some form of lock in. Davies counsels us to replace “moat” with:

our subscription system and proprietary interface mean that our return on capital is protected by a strong Berlin Wall, preventing our customers from getting out to a freer society and forcing them to consume our inferior products for lack of alternative.

I really like this. It pairs well with my 2020 observation that the fight over whether “IP” is a meaningful term can be settled by recognizing that IP has a precise meaning in business: “Any policy that lets me reach beyond the walls of my firm to control the conduct of my competitors, critics and customers”:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

To see how that works in the real world, check out “The Anti-Ownership Ebook Economy,” a magisterial piece of scholarship from Sarah Lamdan, Jason M. Schultz, Michael Weinberg and Claire Woodcock:

https://www.nyuengelberg.org/outputs/the-anti-ownership-ebook-economy/

Something happened when we shifted to digital formats that created a loss of rights for readers. Pulling back the curtain on the evolution of ebooks offers some clarity to how the shift to digital left ownership behind in the analog world.

The research methodology combines both anonymous and named sources in publishing, bookselling and librarianship, as well as expert legal and economic analysis. This is an eminently readable, extremely smart, and really useful contribution to the scholarship on how “IP” (in the modern sense) has transformed books from something you own to something that you can never own.

The truth is, capitalists hate capitalism. Inevitably, the kind of person who presides over a giant corporation and wields power over millions of lives — workers, suppliers and customers — believes themselves to be uniquely and supremely qualified to be a wise dictator. For this kind of person, competition is “wasteful” and distracts them from the important business of making everyone’s life better by handing down unilateral — but wise and clever — edits. Think of Peter Thiel’s maxim, “competition is for losers.”

That’s why giant companies love to merge with each other, and buy out nascent competitors. By rolling up the power to decide how you and I and everyone else live our lives, these executives ensure that they can help us little people live the best lives possible. The traditional role of antitrust enforcement is to prevent this from happening, countering the delusions of would-be life-tenured autocrats of trade with public accountability and enforcement:

https://marker.medium.com/we-should-not-endure-a-king-dfef34628153

Of course, for 40 years, we’ve had neoliberal, Reaganomics-poisoned antitrust, where monopolies are celebrated as “efficient” and their leaders exalted as geniuses whose commercial empires are evidence of merit, not savagery. That era is, thankfully, coming to an end, and not a moment too soon.

Leading the fight is the aforementioned FTC chair Lina Khan, who is taking huge swings at even bigger mergers. But the EU is no slouch in this department: they’re challenging the Adobe/Figma merger, a $20b transaction that is obviously and solely designed to recapture customers who left Adobe because they didn’t want to struggle under its yoke any longer:

https://gizmodo.com/adobe-figma-acquisition-likely-to-face-eu-investigation-1850555562

For autocrats of trade, this is an intolerable act of disloyalty. We owe them our fealty and subservience, because they are self-evidently better at understanding what we need than we could ever be. This unwarranted self-confidence from the ordinary mediocrities who end up running giant tech companies gets them into a whole lot of hot water.

One keen observer of the mind-palaces that tech leaders trap themselves in is Anil Dash, who describes the conspiratorial, far-right turn of the most powerful men (almost all men!) in Silicon Valley in a piece called “‘VC Qanon’ and the radicalization of the tech tycoons”:

https://www.anildash.com/2023/07/07/vc-qanon/

Dash builds on an editorial he published in Feb, “The tech tycoon martyrdom charade,” which explores the sense of victimhood the most powerful, wealthiest people in the Valley project:

https://www.anildash.com/2023/02/27/tycoon-martyrdom-charade/

These dudes are prisoners of their Great Man myth, and leads them badly astray. And while all of us are prone to lapses in judgment and discernment, Dash makes the case that tech leaders are especially prone to it:

Nobody becomes a billionaire by accident. You have to have wanted that level of power, control and wealth more than you wanted anything else in your life. They all sacrifice family, relationships, stability, community, connection, and belonging in service of keeping score on a scale that actually yields no additional real-world benefits on the path from that first $100 million to the tens of billions.

This makes billionaires “a cohort that is, counterintutively, very easily manipulated.” What’s more, they’re all master manipulators, and they all hang out with each other, which means that when a conspiratorial belief takes root in one billionaire’s brain, it spreads to the rest of them like wildfire.

Then, billionaires “push each other further and further into extreme ideas because their entire careers have been predicated on the idea that they’re genius outliers who can see things others can’t, and that their wealth is a reward for that imagined merit.”

They live in privileged bubbles, which insulates them from disconfirming evidence — ironic, given how many of these bros think they are wise senators in the agora.

There are examples of billionaires’ folly all around us today, of course. Take privacy: the idea that we can — we should — we must — spy on everyone, all the time, in every way, to eke out tiny gains in ad performance is objectively batshit. And yet, wealthy people decreed this should be so, and it was, and made them far richer.

Leaked data from Microsoft’s Xandr ad-targeting database reveals how the commercial surveillance delusion led us to a bizarre and terrible place, as reported on by The Markup:

https://themarkup.org/privacy/2023/06/08/from-heavy-purchasers-of-pregnancy-tests-to-the-depression-prone-we-found-650000-ways-advertisers-label-you

The Markup’s report lets you plumb 650,000 targeting categories, searching by keyword or loading random sets, 20 at a time. Do you want to target gambling addicts, people taking depression meds or Jews? Xandr’s got you covered. What could possibly go wrong?

The Xandr files come from German security researcher Wolfie Christl from Cracked Labs. Christi is a European, and he’s working with the German digital rights group Netzpolitik to get the EU to scrutinize all the ways that Xandr is flouting EU privacy laws.

Billionaires’ big ideas lead us astray in more tangible ways, of course. Writing in The Conversation, John Quiggin asks us to take a hard look at the much ballyhooed (and expensively ballyhooed) “nuclear renaissance”:

https://theconversation.com/dutton-wants-australia-to-join-the-nuclear-renaissance-but-this-dream-has-failed-before-209584

Despite the rhetoric, nukes aren’t cheap, and they aren’t coming back. Georgia’s new nuclear power is behind schedule and over budget, but it’s still better off than South Carolina’s nukes, which were so over budget that they were abandoned in 2017. France’s nuke is a decade behind schedule. Finland’s opened this year — 14 years late. The UK’s Hinkley Point C reactor is massively behind schedule and over budget (and when it’s done, it will be owned by the French government!).

China’s nuclear success story also doesn’t hold up to scrutiny — they’ve brought 50GW of nukes online, sure, but they’re building 95–120GW of solar every year.

Solar is the clear winner here, along with other renewables, which are plummeting in cost (while nukes soar) and are accelerating in deployments (while nukes are plagued with ever-worsening delays).

This is the second nuclear renaissance — the last one, 20 years ago, was a bust, and that was before renewables got cheap, reliable and easy to manufacture and deploy. You’ll hear fairy-tales about how the early 2000s bust was caused by political headwinds, but that’s simply untrue: there were almost no anti-nuke marches then, and governments were scrambling to figure out low-carbon alternatives to fossil fuels (this was before the latest round of fossil fuel sabotage).

The current renaissance is also doomed. Yes, new reactors are smaller and safer and won’t have the problems intrinsic to all megaprojects, but designs like VOYGR have virtually no signed deals. Even if they do get built, their capacity will be dwarfed by renewables — a Gen III nuke will generate 710MW of power. Globally, we add that much solar every single day.

And solar power is cheap. Even after US subsidies, a Gen III reactor would charge A$132/MWh — current prices are as low as A$64-$114/MWh.

Nukes are getting a charm offensive because wealthy people are investing in hype as a way of reaping profits — not as a way of generating safe, cheap, reliable energy.

Here in the latest stage of capitalism, value and profit are fully decoupled. Monopolists are shifting more and more value from suppliers and customers to their shareholders every day. And when the customer is the government, the depravity knows no bounds. In Responsible Statecraft, Connor Echols describes how military contractors like Boeing are able to bill the Pentagon $52,000 for a trash can:

https://responsiblestatecraft.org/2023/06/20/the-pentagons-52000-trash-can/

Military Beltway Bandits are nothing new, of course, but they’ve gotten far more virulent since the Obama era, when Obama’s DoD demanded that the primary contractors merge to a bare handful of giant firms, in the name of “efficiency.” As David Dayen writes in his must-read 2020 book Monopolized, this opened the door to a new kind of predator:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/29/fractal-bullshit/#dayenu

The Obama defense rollups were quickly followed by another wave of rollups, these ones driven by Private Equity firms who cataloged which subcontractors were “sole suppliers” of components used by the big guys. These companies were all acquired by PE funds, who then lowered the price of their products, selling them below cost.

This maximized the use of those parts in weapons and aircraft sold by primary contractors like Boeing, which created a durable, long-lasting demand for fresh parts for DoD maintenance of its materiel. PE-owned suppliers hits Uncle Sucker with multi-thousand-percent markups for these parts, which have now wormed their way into every corner of the US arsenal.

Yes, this is infuriating as hell, but it’s also so grotesquely wrong that it’s impossible to defend, as we see in this hilarious clip of Rep Katie Porter grilling witnesses on US military waste:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJhf6l1nB9A

Porter pulls out the best version yet of her infamous white-board and makes her witnesses play defense ripoff Jepoardy!, providing answers to a series of indefensible practices.

It’s sure nice when our government does something for us, isn’t it? We absolutely can have nice things, and we’re about to get them. The Infrastructure Bill contains $42B in subsidies for fiber rollouts across the country, which will be given to states to spend. Ars Technica’s Jon Brodkin breaks down the state-by-state spending:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/06/us-allocates-42b-in-broadband-funding-find-out-how-much-your-state-will-get/

Texas will get $3.31B, California will get $1.86B, and 17 other states will get $1B or more. As the White House announcement put it, “High-speed Internet is no longer a luxury.”

To understand how radical this is, you need to know that for decades, the cable and telco sector has grabbed billions in subsidies for rural and underserved communities, and then either stole the money outright, or wasted it building copper networks that run at a fraction of a percent of fiber speeds.

This is how America — the birthplace of the internet — ended up with some of the world’s slowest, most expensive broadband, even after handing out tens of billions of dollars in subsidies. Those subsidies were gobbled up by greedy, awful phone companies — these ones must be spent wisely, on long-lasting, long-overdue fiber infrastructure.

That’s a good note to end on, but I’ve got an even better one: birds in the Netherlands are tearing apart anti-bird strips and using them to build their nests. Wonderful creatures 1, hostile architecture, 0. Nature is healing:

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/jul/11/crows-and-magpies-show-their-metal-by-using-anti-bird-spikes-to-build-nests

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/15/in-the-dumps/#what-vacation

Next Tues, Jul 18, I'm hosting the first Clarion Summer Write-In Series, an hour-long, free drop-in group writing and discussion session. It's in support of the Clarion SF/F writing workshop's fundraiser to offer tuition support to students:

https://mailchi.mp/theclarionfoundation/clarion-write-ins

[Image iD: A dump-truck, dumping out a load of gravel. A caricature of Humpty Dumpty clings to its lip, restrained by a group of straining, Lilliputian men.]

#pluralistic #infrastructure #broadband #linkdumps #fran drescher #labor #strikes #libraries #big tech #sag aftra #writer's strike #commercial surveillance #actor's strike #data brokers #ebooks #moats and walls #drm #licensing #glam #publishing #military privacy #copyfight #platform economics #nukes #adam conover #pentagon #birds #mergers #delightful creatures #hostile architecture

[eclairfromleclerc]

Hello everyone. It’s been a long long time since I posted here but I guess life has caught up. I have been writing this chapter for god knows how long because I just couldn’t bring myself to write certain scenes. I still have so many ideas and directions about where this fic can go but as you understand, I need my time to actually try and write those ideas. I am now giving you the 8th chapter of this story which is a generous 14.6 K words to make up for my long long absence. I really hope there will be people still interested to read this. Always keep in mind that english isn’t my native language so pardon any mistakes or inclarities. I hope you will enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Wait patiently for the next part. Take Care, xx.

All’s Fair

(Toto Wolff x Reader) Chapter 8

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7

Landing in Jeddah feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, after closing the deal with the Bahraini investors from your Monday meeting, is the only thing you could have asked for. Nothing has been bothering you for the past few days but the fact that Christian still hasn't said anything about you being late to your meeting, made you feel a little weird. Your little text exchanges with Toto made up for the whole madness.

As soon as your phone connects to the network you see a new notification popping up.

Christian Dad Horner 

No need to come over today, I got everything scheduled for the press, me and Helmut will handle it

Get some rest.

You raise your eyebrow reading , not knowing what your father is up to. Is he drunk? Is he out of his mind? You lock your phone and get off the plane. You check in your hotel, go to your room and settle in. As you take your clothes off your suitcase you find once again Toto’s Mercedes shirt in it and you take it out and put it on a hanger and in your closet. Thursdays are supposed to be a fun day in the paddock because of all the media and generally relaxed vibe that everyone has. The fact that no sessions take place on Thursdays doesn’t mean everyone isn’t working hard but still Christian thought your presence was not necessary, so here you are. Your phone rings with a new notification

Wolff

What’s your schedule for the press today?

You 

Christian told me he and Helmut will handle it, I won’t be joining today

I am just bored, sitting in my hotel room 

You open the camera on the app and snap a picture of your computer on your bed and some snacks nearby and you hit send

Wolff 

So you get to relax.

Enjoy it for all of us who have to work

You 

Will do :)

You spend the rest of your day in your room and meet Max to grab dinner at the hotel restaurant. Much less eventful for a usual race week Thursday. 

The next day you wake up, have breakfast and get ready to leave for the track. You check you have everything you need with you including your iPad and your badge to get in the paddock and you drive the Aston Martin, you lease for the weekend, to the track. You get to the entrance and scan your badge. To your surprise the screen in front of you shows a red cross and a message saying ‘Access Denied’. You try once again but the same message appears. You reach for your phone to call Christian to get you from the entrance. You wait for a couple of seconds before you hear his voice, the noise from the garage familiar to your ears. 

“Hey Dad” 

“Hello” you hear him answering

“It seems like my pass isn’t working, can you please come here and let me through?” you ask

“Oh I am quite busy right now sweetheart.”

“Can you send someone else instead?” 

“Um, I am sorry I have to tell you this but there’s a reason why your pass isn’t working.”

“What ?”

“It is going to remain like this for sometime, before I trust you to come back to the team”

“Did you cancel my pass because of what happened on Monday?”

“You should have been ready for this. I can’t discuss it more right now, we are having a meeting before FP1”

“Can you at least let me know about the meeting?”

“No, you are not in the team currently so, nothing to share. Feel free to fly back to England or Monaco with the next flight you find” Christian tells you and then ends the call. 

Thank god you thought about moving a bit further from the entrance so no one heard your discussion with your father. You feel a rush of anger coming at you but you hold yourself and walk as gracefully as you can back to your car, as people are watching you. You drive off the track and you pull over at the first parking space you see. You sit there in silence, since you were so confused that you didn’t even think to put some of your playlists on, and you try to realize what is happening. You let out a scream and tears roll over your face as you think of your father and all his five year old antics. But then you get the best and the worst idea you could possibly come up with. You drive fast back to your hotel and you run to your suite. You open the closet, grab Toto’s Mercedes shirt, stuff it in your new bag  that you haven’t worn in public, put on some tight black pants, some flat shoes and search furiously for that Mercedes face mask that Toto gave you that day in your travel bag. You get back to your car and drive to the track again, pulling over to wear the shirt and making yourself look like a mercedes employee. You leave the car a bit farther than usual so that fans don’t recognize you coming out of the car with the Mercedes gear. You once again walk to the paddock entrance. Hair tied on a bun, face mask and huge Gucci sunglasses covering your face. You get there not having thought of a way to get in. So you go with your instincts. 

“Hey” you say to the security guard. 

“Hi, how may I help you?” 

“Um, I am a new employee for Mercedes but I can’t seem to find my badge to get in.” you say with the best American accent that you have. Not that it mattered since the guard was Saudi Arabian. “Can you maybe call Mr. Wolff to come here? I’ll explain the situation to him” 

“I’ll reach Mr Lord.” he says

“No, no. You should call Mr.Wolff instead. I am not sure Mr. Lord is aware of my arrival here.”

“I’ll try to call Mr. Wolff then.” 

5 minutes later you see the Austrian walking to the entrance of the paddock and on his way there he waves to people, greets others and takes some photos. 

He goes to the security guard that called him

“What is it?” he asks

“This lady claimed that she’s a new employee for your team but she seems to have lost her badge, she insisted that I should call you instead of Mr. Lord.” 

Toto turns to look at you and you don’t hesitate. If you are going to get in, this is your chance. 

“Hello Mr. Wolff. My name is Mindy Roosevelt, I am here from the American branch of Daimler.” you say-again in your american accent- not being even 1% sure that you are making any sense. “I was sent here to assist you but it has been a really tricky week for me.” you look at Toto and he looks as confused as ever. “I was supposed to be here yesterday but my flight was canceled so I had to travel to Abu Dhabi to catch a connecting flight.” you try to give him hints of who you are, not being sure he understands. “ I had to look for the advisor of Daimler US Anri Hakkassan to give me my badge but then my wallet got stolen at the airport so I was left without a badge and my ID to show you who I am.” you see Toto’s eyes getting wider and wider as he realizes who you are. Your story seemed convincing for the security guard but Toto can’t leave you outside. He takes a deep breath 

“Ah yes miss Roosevelt I was waiting for you all day. Sorry to hear this. Come on.” he says and signals to the guard to let you through. You walk in the paddock and to the Mercedes hospitality, Toto not hesitating for a minute at the thought of you coming from another team. As soon as you both get in you see Bradley drinking coffee in the main lounge area of the motorhome and he greets you.

“I don’t want anyone bothering me for the next half an hour at least” he says to Bradley and he walks to his office as you follow him closely. You close the door behind you and Toto reaches and locks it. You take off your mask trying to apologize for the mess you’ve created. 

“I am so sorry Toto” you say and you hear him laugh 

“What is this?” he asks as he continues laughing

“Are you mad at me?” 

“No, I am just wondering how the hell you got yourself in this situation.”

“Christian blocked my paddock pass”

“He did what?” he asks looking slightly amused 

“This isn’t funny Toto, you know how much I love being in the team”

“That’s why you are hijacking my team?” he asks

“Christian thought that removing me from the team for a couple of races is a good way to punish me for being late at that meeting we had.”

“He did it just because you were 35 minutes late?” 

“You don’t realize Christian has a mind of a five year old when it’s about work right?”

“You said the investors were not mad that you were late, you even managed to charm them into signing a deal.”

“Yeah but Christian was mad, and he says it’s not about the investment, it’s about basic work ethic. Anyways, I can’t buy a paddock pass because I am not the type to sit in the lounge to watch the race. I need to be in the team. Plus I can’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me depressed because I am not at the pitwall or the garage.”

“How stubborn.”

“Yeah I am.”

“That’s very Horner of you.” he tells you and you roll your eyes at his obvious reference to your father’s stubbornness.  

“You are my only chance Toto, the other teams don’t even have a reason to accept me, except from Alpha Tauri, but I can’t go begging Franz about a paddock pass when he is clearly influenced by my dad.”

“Why are we even your only chance, we are your main competitors.” he asks

“I swear to god Toto I will do anything just to be here until Christian decides to drop the farce that he started. I will sign an NDA, I will keep my mouth shut about anything I see, I will delete it from my mind. Just let me be in the garage for the next few races.”

“How many races?” he looks at you

“I don’t know 3 maybe 4?” you tell him barely whispering.

“That’s a lot.” he replies “But for you I’ll try to do my best.” 

You try not to scream as you stand up from your seat, walk to his chair and hug him. You catch him off guard as he widens his eyes but then you feel his tension leaving him. 

“From now on you are Mindy Roosvelt and you came here to assist me as a part of your internship at Daimler US. You studied in New York, and you are American. You don’t know for how many races you’ll be here but it’s not long term.” Toto says taking his teacher look

“Understood.”

“You should never remove your mask in front of others, just tell them that you are at risk or something. Don’t wear high heels. We should do something about your hair so that people won’t realize it’s you and I advise you to wear sunglasses as much as possible, I’ll have Lewis hand me his collection from the Police Collaboration.”

“I’ll buy a wig. Can I have some more shirts and a couple of masks?”

“Is this shirt mine?” he asks and you nod “Looks good on you.” he says

“I’ll use yours then.” you tell him and you see him grinning. 

“I’ll have someone send you a couple of shirts, pants and shoes. I'll request your new paddock pass and I will be printing your NDA.”

“If anything leaks into Red Bull I swear I’ll be the first to go to court even if I am innocent.” you tell him and he laughs “Don’t laugh, I need you to see how serious I am about this. I won’t be saying anything to anyone.”

“I trust you. The NDA part is only about the team having to be legally protected.” 

“Okay” you say 

“Your office must be ready. It’s just the room next door, please lock it when you’re in.” he advises you “And please don’t forget your American accent once you go outside.” 

“I won’t forget. If we happen to see Christian around, just stay calm, I’ll handle it.”

“Okay” he says and you sit in silence for a couple of minutes. 

“I’ll go next door now.” you say and you stand up. “Oh sorry Toto, can I ask you about one last thing?” 

“What is it?” 

“Christian told me that I am free to leave with the next flight so I will be checking out of the hotel and I thought maybe I should be at the Mercedes hotel?” 

“I’ll arrange it. See you later.” he replies as you put on your mask and go to the room next door.  

20 minutes later you hear the door knocking, you stand up and reach for it 

“Who is this?” 

“Miss Roosevelt, I am Mariah. Mr. Wolff gave me something for you.”

You put your mask on and open the door 

“Come on in.” you tell her and she steps into your fake office

“I have this new iPad for you, Toto wanted you to have this. It has all of the passwords you’ll need and direct access to Toto’s schedule so you’ll know where you will be going and what you’ll be doing.” 

“What passwords are there?”

“Company email, team communications and private accounts.” 

“Okay thank you Mariah.”

“If you need anything else please do not hesitate to ask me, have a nice day.” she tells you and she leaves the office as you lock the door and remove your mask

You reach for your phone and text Toto 

You

Didn’t need to have access to all of this

Wolff

You have to If we are planning this lie correctly. 

I also sent you the details on your company email about the hotel room. I arranged it.

You 

Give me a minute I’ll have to get used to all of this.

The iPad is nice, I’ll give it back once I get all the details.

Wolff

Adaptability is key

Keep the iPad I don’t want you walking around the paddock with your old one, it’s practically a part of your looks, everyone will realize it’s you

Wolff

Anyways gotta work, I will be in the garage with Nyck for FP1, you’re welcome to hang by the fantasy island if you ever get the energy. 

For any question just text or call. 

You sit around for a while until your phone rings with a new notification from your calendar for the session starting in 5 minutes and as soon as you get it you stand up and leave for the garage. This time though it feels different. You used to take all your stuff with you in your pit wall seat but now there’s no pitwall seat, you’ll be just standing next to Toto, in the garage. You never got to stay in the garage, Christian always made sure you had a place at the pitwall, the garage was essentially a passage to get from the hospitality to the pitwall. You never spent a whole session in there, but now you will. The difference is the garage is not the one you are used to. It’s the Mercedes one and it’s clean, organized and much more hospitable than the one at Red Bull. At the long entrance of the garage there’s someone looking at you, making sure that you’re one of them. Little does he know, you think. 

“I am looking for Mr. Wolff.” you tell him

“He’s sat at the fantasy island with Nyck. You’ll see them once you get in.”

And you certainly do. The fantasy island splits the garage in two smaller ones for the two drivers of Mercedes, you get next to Toto and you don’t say a word. You look around you trying to take everything in, how the garage looks, how everyone is focused on what they’re doing and Toto next to you trying to manage everything that’s happening. He’s too far in to realize that you’re next to him and he nearly jumps as you touch his arm. 

“Sorry” you say quietly behind your mask. 

“It’s okay, I never realized that you came.”

“Well, I couldn’t turn down the proposal, plus I am supposed to be your assistant so I have to be with you.”

“I am not complaining.” he says and thank god Nyck is too busy chatting with Bradley next to you. Bradley hasn’t asked anything about you, he just keeps looking and staring at you but he’s not saying anything. 

For the next half an hour you see Lewis and George doing their laps, coming and leaving the garage during the session but during all this time you realize that you haven’t looked at the RedBull’s performances. The Mercedes garage felt like home for some reason. You weren’t doing nothing, you were just standing with your headphones on hearing comments about the car that you swear to yourself that you will never reveal to your team. Next to you Toto sits and watches the whole team working like a well oiled machine that he engineered. You are sure that he feels proud of himself, he has that grin on his face that makes you think so. You don’t know him really well but you have learned to pick some of those signs from the times that you’ve seen him around or that you’ve hung out with him. Again all of your thoughts are interrupted by a vibration from your pocket where your phone is. Goddamn it.  Another calendar reminder but this time it is from Toto’s calendar that you’ve managed to sync to your iPhone earlier. 

Meeting: Team Principals, FIA and F1. (1 assistant is allowed to attend) 

You widen your eyes at the notification and you tap Toto’s shoulder who is watching the timings and the data in front of him. He turns to look at you and removes the headphone from your side. You do the same but you realize Nyck is looking at you. 

“Sir, I just got a notification about your meeting with the F1 and FIA execs.” 

“It is half an hour after the session ends right?” 

“Yes but am I required to attend?” you ask

“Miss Roosevelt I believe that you were asked to be here as my assistant so since the meeting allows assistants it is your duty to be there.”

“Okay Mr. Wolff” you say and put your headphones back on to watch the rest of the session. 

“If you feel uncomfortable just excuse yourself and leave.” he turns and tells you and you nod. 

After the session in which your cars -yes, Mercedes cars- finish 1 and 3 you leave the garage and go back to the hospitality while waiting for Toto to finish his press duties.

Wolff 

I am done with my interviews, meet you outside our hospitality in 5?

You

Yes, I will be there. 

You leave and find him at the spot he told you to. You walk side by side to the race control building where the meeting is supposed to take place, him towering over you and you feeling miniscule beside him. When you are just outside Alpha Tauri’s garage you see your dad discussing with Franz and you roll your eyes praying that they will just let you go by. You get temporarily relieved when you are already past them but of course Christian has to talk to you. The man is trouble without trying. You hear him yelling “Hey Toto” from your back and you turn to face him. Toto frowns a bit but his expressions are mostly covered by his sunglasses. 

“Are you heading to the meeting?” Christian asks

“We are, yes.” Toto replies as you keep walking, Christian catching up with you. You take a sharp breath trying to persuade yourself that he won’t understand who you are. You’ve got your face covered after all. 

“I’ll join you.” Christian announces not even asking Toto who is clearly getting angrier. “I don’t believe we’ve met before” he says and turns to you.

You freeze but you regain your strength and reply to him “No, we actually haven't.” 

“I am Christian Horner, team principal of Red Bull Racing.” 

“Mindy Roosevelt, nice to meet you.” you say in your best American accent hoping that you won’t get recognized. 

“And you work for Mercedes I see. Let me guess’ Public Relations?”

“No, I am here to assist Mr. Wolff for a couple of races, it is something like an internship from the American branch of Daimler.” 

“I figured from the accent that you might be American.” Christian replies “Are you planning on staying at Daimler or leaving to get a job at motorsport?” 

“I don’t know yet I’ll see where it gets me.” you answer

“If you plan on staying here please text me your details, I got a very interesting assistant position for you.” 

“You had your daughter as your assistant from the beginning of the season, what happened to her?” you ask, trying to understand what he’s doing but you hear his phone ringing. 

“It’s complicated with her, I need something stable, and I know Wolff always gets the best of the best so I might have to get a taste.” he replies as Toto, who was silent before, scoffs in the background. Christian checks his phone and excuses himself as he runs back to the Alpha Tauri hospitality center. 

You let out a breath that you didn’t realize you were holding as you are walking to the meeting. 

“Red Bull will be trying to have technical directives for the next few races to try and stop us.” Toto says. 

“I know, I built that case and all the arguments. I know exactly what to say to convince the FIA in favor of Red Bull.” you reply “Can I talk during the meeting?” you ask

“What do you mean talk?”

“Like defending our team’s points, why technical directives shouldn’t be changed, and counterarguments.” 

“No, your role is the one of the assistant, not the meeting participant. You will only be allowed there to keep notes.” 

“I can write my points to you and you can read them and elaborate more, can’t I?” 

“Yes, you can write notes for me to read.”

“Nice, let’s get no regulation change for today.” 

“Isn’t this bad for Red Bull?”Toto asks

“Right now I am working for Mercedes, and Mercedes is only treating me right.” you answer

Toto raises his eyebrows “I am both flattered and surprised by the fact that you want to favor us.”

“You know what Toto? I am tired of thinking how Christian and Helmut will be using my case to present in this meeting. I worked hard for this and I was supposed to present my point. This meeting was supposed to be my first one.”

“Didn’t you go when you were younger?” 

“No, I didn’t Christian always had his assistant with him and never managed to get me in even when I started working part-time for him. It is frustrating to see how your own father looks to replace you at a job. And now the team that I accidentally got in, even has the ability to read my notes and present a solid case.”

Toto doesn’t say anything, he just looks at you, his body language revealing that he is scared to say anything to you. 

“Am I really that bad?” you ask 

“No. Don’t you ever say that again. You were great, you got a deal with some investors, you helped run a team and you are doing a good job at even being an assistant in the team you probably hated the most.”

10 minutes later you are already sitting at a long table. Toto is sitting on your left. You take your new iPad and a Mercedes notepad with a matching pen and rest it on the conference table in front of you as team principals and other officials are taking their seats to start the meetings. Once everyone is gathered there Stefano starts the meeting with all the formalities needed the conversation starts and after a while you start discussing the burning issue. You open your updated document that you had created this morning with all the arguments and the possible answers that could be said from Mercedes’ side, those ones you hadn’t given to your father. This was only to help your presentation to get the regulations changed but now you are using it for the opposite reason. Christian finishes presenting all the planned points and it’s time for Toto to express his opinion. You managed to write a couple of things on paper and showed him some of the points that he needs to discuss. The man has done this countless times you’re sure but he’s totally letting you handle this. 

“Okay, this is an answer to Christian’s concerns about how the regulations right now are not in the right direction. I do not have an exact answer to each and every point of Christian’s speech but I will be trying to get most of them.” he says and glances at the paper in front of him “I’ll start by Christian’s point that the issue affects multiple teams, when in fact it’s not even the majority of the grid that faces the issue that you are aiming to get changed. I can’t see the reason for the regulation change, clearly it’s not that dangerous to drivers health according to doctors and also it would be a huge waste of our resources to just redesign certain aspects of the car when we have the budget cap this year. That’s how I see it.” Toto finishes his monologue and all the eyes are on him. 

“Clearly there will be a vote for this.” Stefano says 

“Thank you for the notes.” Toto says turning to you and you nod back

Later on the vote takes place and the results are the ones that you expected. That means increased performance from Mercedes and Red Bull chasing them right behind. In other circumstances you would be fuming but now you are happy Mercedes got the chance to stop the regulation changes with your help. The meeting ends and you lobby around for a little longer but afterwards you are back to the paddock walking to the garage for the second practice session. Toto walks by your side and you feel he wants to ask you about what happened there but before he can you inform him you will need some time in your office and you leave him behind. 

You get back to your office and you text your friend Sara who lives in Monaco

You

Are you in Monaco?

Sara

Of course I am in Monaco.

The question is where are you?

You 

Issues with dad, he won’t let me enter the paddock because I was late in a business meeting and now he removed me from the team

Still in Jeddah though

Listen, I need a favor from you and your magic contacts in Monaco

Sara

I don’t wish to know more about the dad-daughter drama

But I am here to help you with whatever you want

You

I need a place to stay in Monaco

Sara

You can crash on mine or I’ll book you a hotel

You 

I am thinking more of an apartment tbh

Sara

How long do you plan on staying here?

You 

Permanently?

Sara 

OMG, you’ll become a fellow Monegasque?

I will be in contact with my estate agent

You

Yes, I am planning to finally start living in Monaco. I don’t even know if Christian will take me back to the team to be honest but even if he does I can still live in Oxfordshire or in my apartment in London.

Sara

How fast do you need it?

You 

As soon as possible please 

You lock your phone as you take a deep breath to realize the decision that you just took. Moving to Monaco has always been your dream, since you have been to the Grand Prix there you fell in love with the place and you have spent quite some time in Sara’s house during the summer when you were younger. But now you want to do this alone, you want to feel independent in the country that you loved so much. You immediately think of contacting your father. You decide email is the best option. If he wants to be a bitch so will you

Hello father, 

I am sending this email to inform you about my decisions. I will be moving to Monaco in the next couple of weeks, on my own. I believe I will be able to make my own living with the money I currently have. I am requesting my last paycheck from the team since I have been fired and I am not aware of your intentions to hire me back or not. I wish that my personal space in our estate in Oxfordshire remains unchanged in case I am able to return to my obligations to the team, and I inform you that the apartment in London will still be mine. I am still in Saudi Arabia arranging my flight to Monaco. I will be quite busy during the next few weeks so I will not be able to contact you. Should you decide that I am able to come back to the team please inform me. 

Wishing you the best. 

And send. 

You go back to the garage 20 minutes in the session and you spot Toto sitting alone at the top of the fantasy island wearing a pair of headphones while another one is resting  on the desk in front of him. You go to his right and check the timings. Currently Mercedes 1-2. He looks at you and removes the headset so he can listen. He hands you the spare headset.

“Isn’t this Nyck’s?” you ask

“No this is yours, Nyck is not joining us at this session.”

“Thank you” you say and you wear the headphones 

During the rest of the session Toto shows you all the graphs about the car performance as well as all the communications systems in the team. You are convinced that he is not supposed to do that, it’s knowledge that an assistant could live without knowing and wouldn’t affect their job but still he seems so invested in letting you understand how the team works. This experience is not about gathering information for Red Bull, you think. It’s more about how a team should be and how correct management is done. Something that you feel is missing from Red Bull. The session finishes and Lewis and George are back to the garage with another top 3 finish for the team. 

As soon as your day ends you drive your Aston Martin back to the Red Bull hotel, pack your baggage, check out and drive to the airport where you are supposed to leave the car. When you manage to do so you go to the car rental area of the airport and visit the kiosk of the company Toto texted you about and get the keys to a brand new Mercedes AMG. Shortly after that you get dressed with your Mercedes gear once again and drive to the Ritz-Carlton to check into your new room. 

Turns out Toto has not only arranged a room for you but it’s also a huge fucking suite that you’re sure most Mercedes employees wouldn’t even consider having. You take a look at the suite and you open the closet door to find it full of Mercedes team shirts, hilfiger pants and the usual Mercedes designed puma shoes. You snap a picture of the closet and you decide to document those weeks of alternate reality that you are currently living in.

When the anxiety of the weirdest day you’ve lived wears off you check your phone for your newest messages

Sara

Gerard just reached out to me.

He has a wonderful loft 2,5 km from the Quartier Du Port.

Generally peaceful location

Sea views as well

Let me know if you want to see it.

You 

If you can go there and get some pictures please do. Thank you <3

After that long day you realize that you didn’t get the chance to have a proper meal so you decide to order room service to finally eat something. You think of how pathetic it would look if you eat alone in this huge suite and before you can even cope with that thought you reach for your phone and call Toto. He picks up after 2 rings

“Hello” he says

“Hi, how’s everything?”

“Good, I am getting ready to go downstairs to the restaurant to have dinner, how are you?” “Oh same I was thinking of getting some room service for dinner since I can’t actually go to the restaurant to eat, but the suite is big enough to not feel restricted in one room. Thanks for that by the way.”

“I am sure you’ve only lived in suites for the whole year now so I thought why not. Don’t let the rest of the team know that though.” he says and you hear his laugh on the phone. You stay quiet and he does the same but when you actually decide to say something he speaks again “Maybe we can have dinner together now” he says.

“That’s why I called you in the first place” you admit, but you think you definitely sound a bit in despair. “I can’t order food for two people though it might seem weird.”

“You can come over to my suite, I’ll make sure that it will look as if I am having a meeting with either James or Shov.” he suggests

“Is it okay?” you ask again

“Definitely, I will be ready in 10, suite 264. See you.” he says and terminates the call.

You take a look at the closet trying to decide what to wear. You choose a graphic t-shirt and your most comfortable pants paired with your white sneakers, the only flat pair of shoes that you carried with you. You take a look at the mirror, readjust your hair, put on a nude lipstick and after 10 minutes you are finally ready to leave. You put on your mask because your goal for today isn’t getting caught from walking in some hotel corridor and you navigate your way to suite 264, you knock on the door and Toto is right there letting you in. He’s wearing a pair of black sweats and a gray T-shirt but he is barefoot. 

“Hey” you say and you walk in the suite looking around. It does look like your suite when it comes to furniture but the rooms are a little more private. There’s a desk that has turned out to be more like Toto’s office for the weekend. You sit on the couch while he closes the door behind you and walks in the living room. You take your mask off and sit there looking at the ceiling. Toto stands in front of you with a menu card in hand.

“I was thinking, maybe pasta?” he tells you

“That’s what I planned to order today.” you laugh as Toto reaches for the phone on the table next to the couch and orders 2 plates of pasta ai funghi with two glasses of red wine. 

“They’ll be here in 30 minutes” he tells you

“Great” you reply and stand up. You look at the place around you, stand up and walk to the desk. You sit on the only chair there and you put on his round glasses and put on your serious face as you move your fingers on the mousepad of his mac which -to your surprise- is unlocked so you are able to navigate in his computer. You open up his email but still he doesn’t react even though you are looking at you closely and you start typing and reading out loud. 

“Hey Michael, I am just sending you an email.” you say and you keep being serious while you hear Toto bursting in laughter at the couch.

“Lewis is the best of all time, he did nothing wrong, everything is red bull's fault.” you say again and he keeps looking at you. 

You keep joking, acting like you are typing a new email “Hey FIA, it’s Toto, please let us use the das. It's a great innovation and we are so smart to think about it. We are not illegal, or at least that’s what James Allison and Shov said. It’s not our fault that we are both smart and sexy. Thank you in advance.” 

“That’s not what I said” he laughs

“I’ll need proof for that.” you say “Would I make a good Toto Wolff?” 

“The best. I’ll be sure to leave you in my position once I retire.” 

“What will Daimler say for that though?” 

“You are doing your training so why would they have an issue?” he replies and you laugh. 

“Isn’t this suite a bit too big just for you?” you ask

“You have the same one but yeah it is a bit big.”

“Mine isn’t as big.” you say “Most times I feel lonely in those suites. Mine don’t have kitchens though.” 

“You cook? Too bad we have ordered already.” 

“Maybe another time.” you say and you hear the door knocking. 

“Quite fast.” Toto says and he stands up to open the door. 

You walk around the suite once again and enter his bedroom and look at the open closet which is once again full of Mercedes button ons so you grab one and put it on. You hear Toto talking and you go back to the living room but he’s still talking to the person outside the door. 

“I am kinda busy here Cynthia. I am sorry.” you hear him say

“Please Toto.” a female voice replies “Is there someone else? Is that why you ordered two plates, two glasses of wine?” she asks

“Cynthia I am in the middle of a very important business meeting, it’s about tomorrow’s qualifying and James is waiting inside to eat so that we can continue our meeting. Thank you for the service.” 

“Will you call me when you are done?” 

“I will be asleep when we are done.Thank you” he says and closes the door. 

You stand there in his living room wearing his button up feeling stupid for believing this thing could go anywhere further. 

“I should get going.” you say 

“Now that the food is here?” he asks but you don’t reply, “Is this shirt mine? Are you going to take this one too?”

“I will get back to my suite and you can call Cynthia, or whatever her name is, and tell her that James is gone and that you are okay for her to come back and do whatever you two do together.” 

“Wait, are you jealous? Of Cynthia?” 

“I am not jealous, just not in the position to get involved with someone who’s fucking around with the girl who brought him room service 3 times.” 

“I am not involved with her.” he says

“Well she seemed awfully too comfortable to be just a stranger Toto.” 

“What do you want to hear?” he asks

“That you’ve fucked her?” you tell him

“We slept together once last year.” 

“That’s all I needed to hear. Goodbye Toto.” you say as you walk towards the door, his shirt still hanging on your shoulders but before you can leave he manages to grab your hand 

“I only saw her once this year and I just said hi. We hadn’t spoken since last year but as soon as I arrived she didn't stop appearing in my way. She had reached out several times since we left last year but I never got back to her.” 

“So she’s nothing to you?” 

“She was just a fling.” he replies and you turn around to sit on the dining table. 

“Fine” you say, irritation apparent in your voice “Am I just a fling?” you ask yourself in your head so you decide to ask the same to Toto who is holding the pasta plates leaving one in front of you and one opposite to you  on the table. He doesn’t answer, instead he does the same with the two glasses of wine. His silence makes you feel like his answer is not the one that you want to hear but as he leaves the glasses on the table he doesn’t sit down, he stays there towering over you and looking at you. 

“If it was just a fling I wouldn’t risk destroying my team for it. Also I wouldn’t have done anything that I’ve done for you in any case.” he replies. “Technically you can’t even call it a fling because we only made out two or three times and we were drunk.” he says and just stays still “And still there are two glasses of wine that I ordered on that table. I am never going to learn, am I ?” he laughs

“Sorry ?” you ask but he leans in, reaches for your face and kisses you catching you off guard. You stay still in your chair as he sits opposite to you not saying anything

“The wine is red” he says then

“I can see that.” you reply

“They say that red wine can get you drunk easier.” 

You try to understand where he’s going with this

“And?”

“We haven’t drunk any of it yet so we are sober”

“Why are you explaining this to me like I’ve never drunk before?”

“This is the most sober that I will be tonight and you said that I didn’t have the guts to make a move without being drunk.” he says

“You won’t get drunk with a glass of wine Toto.”

“I know I won’t but still I didn’t want you to blame this on a single drop of alcohol.” he replies and you smile and you start eating. No one talks during dinner but you are laughing at each other when you’re struggling with eating the pasta without actually making a mess. It feels natural to just sit there and eat with his company, like you are finally where you are supposed to be. For this moment you forget everything else and you focus on what you are currently living. After some time you both finish your food and you see Toto standing up. 

“We should finish our wine on the couch.” he says, taking his glass and you copy his moves. He sits on the couch and you do the same but you don’t sit close to him. You rest your back on the couch arm and lay there putting your feet on his lap. He turns and looks at you but he doesn’t say anything. He rests one hand on your feet and he grabs his phone with the other one unlocking it and looking at his mails. 

“Do you want to work?” you ask

“It’s Friday night so no.” he replies

“Then close your phone”

“What can we do instead?” 

“Talk like normal people?” you tell him

“About?” he asks

“I am thinking of moving to Monaco” 

“That’s a bold choice, have you thought about it enough?” he asks

“I have and I think it’s the best thing I can do to be honest, I have some of my friends there and I really want to leave home, I really can’t deal with Christian while he keeps treating me like this.” 

“That’s good.” he replies “What about going to the factory ?” 

“How are you doing it? You live in Monaco and you also have to go to England at the factory.” 

“It’s really tiring to be honest, you need to have a place to stay close to the factory “

“I have my apartment in London available.” you tell him

“London to Milton Keynes isn’t that easy to do on a daily basis.” 

“Anyways, going to the factory isn’t my main priority right now, I am not even on the team.” 

“You are on Mercedes.” he says

“Is this an invitation to Brackley?” you laugh

“You swore it was just for a few races, not that you will be staying permanently” 

“It was my masterplan to get hired by Mercedes.” 

“We don’t want you with us.” he jokes

“Why?” you ask 

“You are distracting the team Ms. Horner.” 

“How am I even distracting the team?” you say whining “People don’t even know who I am except from you.”

“You answered for me.” he tells you “And now I have to deal with you walking around Monaco.” 

“Oh sorry, I’ll cancel my plans then.”

“Oh no, Monaco needs a twist.” he says and you look at him but say nothing. He doesn’t attempt to start a new conversation, he just readjusts on the couch, grabs the remote and opens the TV. He navigates through Netflix’s homepage and you eventually make him watch a movie which he tried to convince you not to watch. Again, none of you speaks during the movie. Halfway through, you realize you’re far too invested in the movie and turn to look at Toto who is fast asleep on that same couch. You decide that there’s no point in staying longer in his suite and you remove your legs from his lap as smoothly as you can, you grab your phone and your shoes which you had earlier taken off and head to the door tiptoeing. 

“Stay here tonight.” you hear his raspy voice which takes you by surprise and you almost scream

“It’s better that I leave, you are tired and need some sleep.” you reply

“There’s a spare bed if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“And there’s an empty suite down the hallway.”

“Come on, aren't you bored to leave when you can just sleep here?” he tells you and well, he’s kinda right. Plus it’s not like you don’t want to spend some more time with him and it would definitely be questionable if someone saw you leaving his suite at midnight. You don’t go back to the couch but you leave your shoes down while Toto eyes every single move you make. 

“It’s quali day tomorrow, we need to sleep. Come on.”  you tell him and you walk to his room. Seconds later he follows you and enters the room. 

“I’m taking the left side.” you say and he smiles at you with a sleepy face. 

“You’re sure you don’t want to sleep in the other room?” he asks

“It’s not like it will make any difference. Except if you have a problem.”

“No, definitely not.” he replies and both of you lay on the bed, facing each other. 

“I’ll wake up earlier to go to the gym, then we can get ready and hit the track. We’ll have breakfast there.” he says and you nod. He seems very calm, eyelids heavy with sleep so you decide to lean and kiss him goodnight. As you come closer to him you can now feel his scent and warmth and you put your lips on his. The kiss is slow and sweet, somehow different from the rest that the two of you had shared up to this moment. 

“Goodnight Wolff.” you say

“Goodnight Horner.” he replies and both of you drift to sleep. 

The next day you wake up without an alarm and you find the bed next to you empty. You hear water running and figure out that Toto must be taking his post gym shower. You keep laying there and grab your phone to go through new updates and messages. Not a lot of time passes until he emerges from the bathroom wearing nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist and he holds another one trying to dry the water off his hair. You admire the sight for a while and you say “Good Morning”. He looks at you and replies

 “Good Morning Horner. Slept well?” 

“Very much thank you” you say “How about you?”

“Slept really well, and I started my day with a good session at the gym with George and Lewis.”

“Oh that must have been interesting. I would have loved to join you three.”

“It would be funny to see their reactions.” he replies as he dries his hair on a smaller white towel while he’s looking at the nightstand on your right where his things rest . He tosses the towel he was holding on a white chair in the room and he approaches you. He climbs on the bed and puts one hand on the headrest while his other hand is stretching to reach the IWC watch on the nightstand. His already toned muscles are a little more observable now that he’s lingering above you. You draw a sharp breath at the sight trying to contain your thoughts and your self but you still look up and stare at him while he makes sure that he gets the watch. When he actually does, he looks down at you and he catches you staring. 

“What?” he asks, staying still in the same position and you don’t answer but instead you scoff. You take a quick glance on his body and you let your instincts take over. You grab him from his neck and pull him down for a kiss. He immediately reacts by holding your face with his now free hand and he pulls you closer as he deepens the kiss and bites your lip. You melt into the kiss still laying down as you feel your heart racing faster than any racing car you’ve ever seen. Your breath gets quicker as you get the sheets out of your way trying to feel his skin on yours. Toto mutters “Fuck” in between your kisses making you a little crazier. He breaks the kiss and walks to the end of the bed, he grabs your legs and starts leaving trails of  kisses all the way up from your calf to your upper thigh until he stops and looks at you, eyes full of lust. He lingers above you for a second or two and he looks at you intensely trying to make sure that he has your consent for his following actions. Once you understand what this is about you nod while you're trying to regulate your breath. 

"Stay still for me baby" he requests and you try to follow his order by just laying there as he dives his head between your thighs. Your breathing gets faster and deeper as he works his way down on you making you feel like you’ve never felt before. You sense his smile while his tongue makes circles down on you. It’s more sensual than you’ve imagined it to be. And god the man definitely knows what he’s doing. He keeps going on for a while with the same dedication as he started and you feel getting closer and closer to your absolute limits. You look down on him as he now uses his hands on you, and you see him staring back. “You look so good baby” he says and all you can manage to say is his name followed by a moan. “Toto I’m so close. Fuck” you say out of breath and he dives in once again as if he heard the magic phrase. He works his magic and shortly after you probably have the best orgasm you’ve ever had. Then he stands up, his hardness still apparent. You manage to regain your strength and crawl at the end of the bed. “Time to take care of you love.” you tell him and he looks at you with a sparkle in his eye. You reach for his neck and pull him in for a long kiss as you move your hand down his torso and on his crotch. You feel him, how hard he is, and you’re secretly taking pride in your effect on him. You start touching him, trying to make him feel good in your hands. His breathing gets faster as you continue and you can sense him coming closer and closer. You want to give him your best so you slowly lean down but he stops you. “Let me feel you?” he asks, almost sounding tortured. You feel a burning desire in you. You’ve imagined this for some time. You cannot say no, not now. Instead you say “Yes please” and get on his lap. You kiss him, while you’re repeating in your head “i am actually fucking Toto Wolff”. You give him one or two strokes getting ready for him but instead of following he looks around, probably for protection. “I am on birth control” you tell him and he turns his attention back to you. You place yourself in the right position as you feel him pressuring your entrance. Once he’s in you start riding him until  you feel yourself getting out of breath. All this time muttering his name like a mantra and he is just repeating something in the lines of “God you feel so good.”, both of you feeling like you’re in another world. As soon as he gets that you are tired he lifts you up and lays you down on the bed. Now he is on top and he’s thrusting in and out in a rhythmic and satisfying way. He looks you in the eye. It’s not awkward. Not even close. You both seem to enjoy it quite a lot. It’s not after a long time that both of you finish at the same time, in an almost poetic way. 

Now both of you lay naked on Toto’s queen sized bed. No one is talking. You just lay on his torso while his hand is round your shoulders. At some point you decide to break the silence

“That was a decent start to the day.” you say and Toto looks down on you 

“Beats the early gym session to be honest.” he says

“I would be angry if you preferred going to the gym with Lewis and George to having sex with me” 

“If it wasn’t for the gym you wouldn’t be here now”

“You think it was the ‘semi naked with a towel’ appearance that made me want to sleep with you?” you laugh “I would give it to you any time of the day, even if you were wearing a garbage bag Wolff.” 

“Nice to hear that you are unreasonably horny.” 

“It’s not without a reason though. I think you’ve figured out that I do not consider you a bad looking man.” 

“I have yes.” 

“All I had to do is to just find the courage to just throw myself at you.” you laugh 

“And you kind of had to be drunk to do so?” he asks

“Yes”

“Isn’t it ironic though?” he says “That we actually slept together during the moment of our biggest clarity and sobriety?”

“What is it with the philosophical questions Toto? I just wanted to have sex with you for a long time and I did.”

“Long time I hear?” 

“Yes, are you surprised?” you ask

“No, just glad that I am not the only one. Was it good at least?” 

“God Toto, you’re asking the cringiest questions.” you say “Yes, god, it was perfect.”  you answer and you hear Toto laugh. 

“Now as much as I want to stay here and repeat this through the day, we have to go to the track” he says

“Ah yes, I am dying to get some breakfast as well.” you say and Toto laughs 

“I’ve already had mine” he says with a smirk and as soon as you get what he’s talking about you grab your pillow and start hitting him playfully. 

“Come on, let’s get ready.” 

A hour or so later, you find yourself parking a shiny black Mercedes at the track's parking area while being already disguised as your alter ego, full on Mercedes’ gear.  Today you are wearing Toto’s shirt, which is a little oversized but you manage to style it in a great way. You grab your bag, draw a sharp breath and open the door. You walk to the paddock and scan your pass as you go totally unnoticed by people around you. To them you look like a regular Mercedes employee that they have no reason to care about. Little do they know that this is actually you. To be honest you kind of love the calmness of it, how no one is chasing you for a photo or a statement on a recent drama or event of the F1 world. You just walk unbothered. You get so caught up in that thought that you don’t actually notice how fast you got to the motorhome. You get in and put on your show, greeting the majority of your colleagues that also seem ignorant to your presence there. You go to the buffet area and grab a tray for your breakfast which you eventually bring to the small office that Toto managed to provide you. Once you settle in,  you sit down to eat but you take a photo of the breakfast as a part of documenting that crazy weekend. You also decide to send the photo to Toto. 

You 

[photo]

Grabbed breakfast and brought it to the office. Drop by if you don’t have anything better to do. 

Wolff

Just walked in. I’ll grab my coffee and be there in 5. 

You 

Cool.

Five minutes later you hear a knock on the door followed by “Miss Roosevelt it’s Wolff here.” 

“Coming.” you say and unlock the door for him to come in. 

“Hey” you say

“Hello” he answers and looks at the full tray “You got quite a lot of food there.” 

“Yeah, that start to the day just opened my appetite.” 

“That’s good to hear” 

“So, what am I supposed to do today?” 

“Well, practice starts in 45 minutes and then we have qualifying.” 

“I am aware of the program, thank you.” 

“You won’t let me finish my thought will you?” he says

“Sorry” you tell him and look at him 

“I am thinking, maybe you can join me and Nyck in the garage for practice.” he pauses to think “And then you can take a look at the data before qualifying.” 

“No I cannot do that” you say 

“Why not? I know you can read data, you have the basic skills and knowledge to judge a performance run.” 

“I don’t want to be involved with your data. It’s confidential.” you reply.  It is actually crazy that Toto is okay with the idea of you handling the team’s data, as if you are not his number one opponent. 

“I know it is. But I trust you, plus there’s an NDA that you’ve already signed. And the fact that you deny reading the data makes me want to give you access to them more than before. Because I know how serious you are about not leaking stuff.” 

“Okay I will take a look, but only for a short time.” you tell him 

“Oh and then I want you to do a tour to a group of visitors that will be coming to the garage.” 

“Aren’t there people responsible for this?” you ask, reminiscing the fact that in Red Bull you have people who are responsible for the hospitality packages. 

“There are but they are shitting their pants because Christiano is dropping by later.”

“Who is Christiano?” you ask, slightly confused

“Ronaldo” he replies

“He’s coming to the race?” 

“Yes. He’s actually coming both today and tomorrow and the team is invested in doing everything perfect for him.” he says and you are still staring at him with your mouth open “We are a bit short staffed in that team so an extra help would be amazing.” 

“Good. I’ll do that too.” 

“Great, thanks love” he says and you freeze at the name but before it gets too awkward the door knocks. 

“Toto, this is James, do you have some time to review the quali strategy?” you hear through the door

“Yes, I will be there in a sec.” he replies “Gotta go now, i’ll see you in 45 right?” 

“Right” you tell him and he is out of the office. I

You spend the next 30 minutes scrolling through twitter and eating the breakfast that you got earlier as well as taking a look at Toto’s schedule for the day. Later on you leave the office, mask on once again, and make your way to the garage and to the top of the fantasy island where Toto and Nyck are waiting for the session to start. Both cars are in the garage waiting for a sign to leave once the lights at the end of the pitlane turn green and at the same time all the mechanics are making the final touches on the set ups. You greet everyone sitting on the fantasy island and put on the spare headphones as you did the day before. The session is done as usual, the drivers  going in and out of the garage to change setups on the car to find an optimal one for the qualifying. Performance runs are also on the programme but only during the last fifteen minutes of the session. Everything concerning telemetry is being sent directly into Toto’s computer on top of the fantasy island as soon as each lap ends so that he can see how they are done and areas where they can be corrected. The session ends quicker than it usually does when you are at Red Bull because suddenly all the chit chat becomes interesting and not as boring as it is with Christian. 

“P1 and P2 huh?” you ask him. Nyck is already out of the garage, something about having to talk to some foreign media made Toto let him leave before the small pre qualifying debrief.  

“It isn’t bad is it?” he asks back.

“It is not for us” you tell him “ It is for the rest of the grid though. I bet Christian is fuming right now.” 

“It is not bad for them. If we are in front they will have to innovate more to reach us. It motivates them.” 

“I bet they are not seeing it this way though.” 

“Is Christian really fuming if we finish in front in practice?” 

“Yeah, he’s not a fan of coming second in any session of this sport.”

“Too bad for him.” he says and you laugh. At this moment your phone rings with a notification from the calendar app reminding you of an interview Toto has to attend. 

“Oh, I am seeing now that you should be outside the media pen for an interview.” you tell him

“I am very much aware, thank you.” 

“Well, why are you not there now?” 

“I prefer to hang out with my beautiful assistant instead.” he compliments you

“Oh my god, shut up” you laugh and he does the same “Come on, interview, now!” you say as you tug him and try to push him to the corridor that leads to the paddock playfully. 

“That’s unfair. I am the boss. You are not in the position to prohibit me from doing anything.” he laughs as he walks reluctantly to the paddock. 

“Well, it seems like I am in charge of what you are doing so technically I am allowed to tell you what to do.” you tell him “I will be enjoying a cold cup of coffee in the meantime.” 

“Once again, that’s unfair Horner.” he says the second part whispering so that people are not able to hear. “Also, you have work to do. The telemetry data is already in your email inbox waiting to be read and commented on, so if I were you I would actually save the coffee for later.” he says and you look at him flabbergasted. “Oh and as soon as you are done with that you have the little tour to do in an hour and a half. Take care Ms. Roosevelt.” 

Before you are able to form a sentence he is already gone, more like running to the media pen. You on the other side, walk back to your office, open your new iPad and take a look at the data. The lap times look good, still slower than the lap time that you calculated the pole position would be on, but they look good. In the data you can see clearly that the engine mode is in a much less aggressive setup that you are sure will change during qualifying. You add some comments using your iPencil concerning parts of where you think the drivers can gain time, as well as some questions for the strategists and the mechanics. When you are done, you forward your notes to Toto’s email and check the clock to see that it has actually been 1:30 hours and that it is actually the time to go meet the people you will be giving your tour to.

You find them all standing on a circle by the garage entrance at the paddock, discussing, taking pictures and being excited. There are 5 of them, 3 guys and 2 girls, all of them close to your age. You approach them and greet them. One of the girls looks gorgeous. The boys aren’t bad either. 

“Hello everyone.” you say “You must be waiting for a paddock tour right?” 

“Yeah” one of the boys says and the rest of them nod. 

“Okay!” you say in an excited tone, trying to engage with them. “I am Mindy. I will learn your names during the tour I suppose.”

“Nice to meet you” says one of the girls “Likewise” you answer “So, should we start? Are you all excited?”

“Very.” one of the boys says.

 The tour starts and you take all of them for a walk in the paddock to see all the motorhomes and where you actually work and you are actually describing all the details about what you are showing to them. You take them by the media pen, where you spot Toto giving another interview for pre qualifying. All of the guys and the girls get very excited and try to snap a picture even from far away. Then you take them by the garage but just before you manage to get in, you receive a new notification on your watch

Wolff

Just finished the interviews at the media pen and managed to see your notes and questions on the telemetry data. I forwarded them to James and he immediately got back to me asking who made all those brilliant notes and questions. I guess you are wasting yourself with management, you should become a mechanic instead. 

Oh I also caught a glance of you and the guys during the tour. I hope that you are doing alright. We don’t want to make Ritz’s employees sad, we still have a few days left before we check out. 

You read the message and realize that the people that you’ve been interacting with are people working at your hotel. So you decide to stop the tour and actually get to know them. 

“You know what? Let’s introduce ourselves before going into the garage.” you tell them and walk back to a bench located at the paddock. 

“So as I told you before I am Mindy Roosevelt, I am currently working at Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 but my position is totally different to what I am doing right now. I am actually working as an assistant to upper management, but the hospitality team has a very special guest for this weekend and they were busy enough so you are left with me.” you say  “Go ahead, introduce yourselves.” 

One of the guys starts talking “I am Ahmad Hussain and like everyone here, I am working at the Ritz-Carlton in Jeddah. I am working as a cook in the hotel kitchen so everything that you’ve tasted in the past few days might have had to do something with me.” 

“I loved everything that I’ve tried, thank you Ahmad.” you tell him

“I am Benjy Ayad, I am half american half saudi arabian and I am currently working at the Ritz-Carlton as an economics advisor.” he says

“Mohammad Dawoud, and I am working at the Ritz-Carlton in room service.”

“Oh, I will be requesting for you Mohammad.” you laugh and he takes a bow showing his honor. 

“I am also working as room service at the Ritz.” you hear one of the girls saying. This time it’s the pretty one

“That’s nice. What is your name?”

“I am Cynthia Jones.” she says and you freeze as you realize that the girl standing in front of you has slept with the man you slept with this morning. Jealousy as well as curiosity are your main feelings so you ask for more information. 

“Sounds very non-Saudi Arabian. Where are you from Cynthia?” you ask

“I am from the UK actually. I was born and raised there, my parents are British but all of a sudden I ended up here. I was looking for a position in management in some big companies here in Saudi Arabia and I got this job as a part time until I figured things out but I ended up staying for two years.” 

“That’s crazy. And why management? Do you have a degree?” 

“Yes, I actually do. I got my degree in Switzerland and I tried pursuing it but right now I haven’t found anything that I like.” 

You nod in agreement, trying to register all the information that you’ve learned from her directly. Toto was secretive about their relationship so learning even the slightest about her is important. Finally you turn to the last girl left

“Alina Mohammad, I work as a receptionist at the Ritz. Nothing to know exactly. I was born and raised here and I got a degree in touristics so I got the job of my dreams.” 

“You guys seem really happy with what you are all doing. I hope you keep doing what you love.” you say “I mean you all managed to buy a paddock pass that most people wouldn’t dream buying at what? 24?” 

“No actually we didn’t buy a pass, the team invited us to join today’s action.”  says Benjy

“Oh shit, I didn’t know that.” you say 

“Yeah they came in last night and handed us the passes just before our shift ended. We went crazy.” says Cynthia and you look at her. 

“Sorry Cynthia, if I may ask, what time do you finish your shift on average?” 

“I don’t know, maybe like 11pm or something? Yesterday I finished at that time.” she replies. At this point you are now sure, Toto asked her to come there today. There’s no other explanation. As soon as he saw her he wanted her to come back. That’s why he invited her. It wasn’t planned for you to do the interview, but he changed it to make you interact with Cynthia, to actually hurt your feelings. 

“Mindy, is everything okay?” Mohammad asks as you have totally zoned out

“Sorry, I spaced out for a bit. Yes, everything is good. Shall we continue with our garage tour?” you ask and they nod. You go back to the garage trying to explain as many things as you know about the things there. To be honest, your mood isn’t quite the same as it was before you knew who the beautiful blonde by your side was. Luckily, the tour comes to an end 30 minutes later but sadly it is qualifying time so you have to be by Toto’s side by the time the session starts. Cristiano Ronaldo is also there by Toto’s side. You nod and greet him as Toto introduces you and you just get back to work. 

During qualifying you sit there, not talking, just looking at the screen and the timings and occasionally checking your burner twitter account for any comments.  Although you are pissed at the man next to you you definitely don’t want Mercedes to qualify in bad positions so through Q1 and Q2 you are relaxed since it is obvious that both cars will be through to Q3. During Q3 you keep your fingers crossed and mostly during the last runs for pole position you keep praying as you usually do in Red Bull. When the timer runs out Lewis and George are sitting P1 and P2 respectively, locking the front row for tomorrow’s start and as soon as the team figures it out, the whole garage erupts in cheers. Toto reaches Ronaldo for a handshake, celebrating the results.  Your eye catches the guys from earlier cheering and hugging each other, taping with their phones. Toto turns to you and you do a high five with him as he smiles at you. You remain indifferent in his reaction, keeping yourself busy until George and Lewis are back to the parc ferme to congratulate them. Once you are done with that you simply say goodbye to everyone there and leave. 

You go back and grab all your things and without saying a word to anyone you drive back to the hotel. When you are ready to go back to bed, you see a new message

Max Emilian Verstappen

Where are you? I missed you on track these days. 

You

Sadly Christian thought it was a fair deal to throw me out of the team for god knows how long.

Happily for you I will be out of your way for that time so you will relax. 

Also congrats for the P3 today, it was a decent run but the mercs had the pace. 

Max Emilian Verstappen

Oh Christian…

Shut up, I already miss you. Are you in England?

Thank you H.

You

I am in Monaco, at a friend's house. 

You feel kinda terrible for lying to him but there’s not much you can do. 

After you chat with Max for a while, you order some food to eat but then get another message. 

Wolff

Lost you after qualifying and when I asked they told me you had left. That wasn’t a bad result. 

Anyways I am going back to the hotel and I am planning to order something to eat, you can hang around my suite if you want and we can discuss strategies for the race. 

Let me know what you are about to do 

You 

I’m not feeling very good, sorry. 

And tomorrow I will be coming in late, probably an hour or so before the start

Wolff

Okay. Do you need any help? Should I drop by your suite? 

How am I supposed to work without my assistant?

You 

I am not your main assistant Woff, you have a hundred people helping you, me not being there won’t be a huge issue

No, don’t come. 

Just let me fucking be for once okay? 

Later on you see that he read the message and didn’t reply. You take a hot bath and go to sleep for tomorrow. 

You wake up the next day pretty late but just in time considering the fact that you are planning to leave in 2 hours. You order breakfast to avoid having something at the track and start getting ready as you are waiting for room service to arrive. You eat and then leave. 

Since you left the hotel earlier your time of arrival is estimated earlier than you actually planned so you decide to take a drive in Jeddah’s streets to soak in the country. An hour or so before the start you actually arrive at the track. You park your car and walk to the hospitality. Then you lock yourself in your office and just read notes for the race. Later on you hear a knock on the door. 

“It’s Wolff” you hear him say and you open the door even if you don’t want to. You don’t speak. You stay there and look at him. “Are you feeling okay?” he asks 

“I am okay, yes.” you reply “Do you want anything else?” you ask him since he’s standing there just watching, 

“Why are you acting like this?” he asks

“Like what?” 

“Like Christian Horner’s daughter?” 

“Yeah, you should be expecting that since that’s exactly who I am” 

“You haven’t been like this since Bahrain.” he says

“Well if you don’t like it then you should call Cynthia.” you tell him

“Is this what this is all about? Are you jealous?” he asks

“Listen Toto, if you want to discuss this I will discuss it outside this office please.” you tell him

“Okay then, follow me.” he says 

“What? Now?” 

“I want to solve this right now if it’s okay.”

“The race starts in 30 minutes.” you say 

“It will take less than 30 minutes, follow me” he says 

Both you and Toto walk in the motorhome before he manages to open a door at the end of the hallway. You climb off the stairs and you reach a place somewhere in between a wall and a closed section of the motorhome. 

“Speak” he says 

“Bossy much ?” you ask

“Yes, now please tell me how did the whole Cynthia thing reoccur after yesterday morning?” 

“Don’t tell me you don’t know.” you tell him

“I do not have a clue.” he says 

“You don’t have a clue about inviting her here?” 

“Who?” 

“Yesterday you made me do a paddock tour to a group of people.”

“Yes, they were the Ritz employees, I am aware of that”

“So you are aware that Cynthia Jones was proudly here watching F1 and enjoying qualifying with a VIP pass right?” 

“I was not.” he says and honestly he seems like he’s telling the truth. 

“You didn’t see her in the garage?” you ask

“Well, believe it or not I do not see everyone who is in the garage.” 

“You didn’t invite her ?” 

“Nope.” 

“She said that she got her invitation right after her shift ended. And her shift ended after you saw her.”

“I was aware that they were going to be here. Just not the names of who was coming. The hotel management was supposed to do a draw and pick 5 people to join us as a gift. It’s part of our contract.” he replies

“So you didn’t know she was coming?” 

“I am going to say no once again.” he says “You can search my messages if you want to.” he says as he hands you his phone. 

“I trust you.” you tell him and you hand him his phone back 

“After all I am not that big of an asshole to invite an ex fling and then sleep with you the next morning.” 

“Don’t you dare do this again.” 

“Invite people or sleep with you?” 

“Oh Wolff fuck off.” you joke

“With you, gladly.” he replies

“Shhh” you tell him 

“You are not going to shut me up this way.” he says and then looks at you “Also take off this goddamn mask now that no one can see us, I am tired of seeing you with it.” 

You take of your mask and smile at him

“You’re sure that no one can see us here right?” you ask and he nods. 

You lean on him and kiss him, catching him off guard. He returns the kiss as he smiles in it .

“I am sorry, Wolff. I won’t overreact about Cynthia again.”

“It’s alright Horner.” he tells you. 

“The race starts in 15, should we go?” 

“Let’s go.” he says and both of you walk back to the garage and your usual places. 

At the start of the race both Lewis and George start off well, keeping their initial positions with Max lurking just behind George. Standing next to Toto, you have access to everything on his computer so you see lap by lap each and every thing you’ve learned to look for in order to plan a strategy in your head. When things get tough and Max gets behind Lewis in P2 your brain is running as fast as it can. The Mercedes strategists are proposing possible pit stop strategies based on the data that they have. However they don’t know one thing that you do. As an executive at Red Bull you have to be aware of code phrases over the team radio, which to be honest can’t be forgotten in a day. So as you’re seeing in the data Lewis is trying to manage his tires and you hear the message “Okay Max, it seems like we are going for a one stopper here.” , you feel the bells ringing in your head. 

The “It seems like” phrase is a code name for doing exactly the opposite that the phrase says so you are 100% sure that they are going for a two stopper in order to win. Something that Mercedes has done countless times. 

Toto had told you earlier that if you want to intervene you can press the button and speak but he thought that you wouldn’t be crazy enough to actually do it. When you crack the code of the Red Bull strategy you immediately press the button saying strategy and speak. 

“Red Bull is going for a two stopper.” you say and Toto looks at you with his eyes wide open. “In about 5 to 10 laps they are going to be back on the softs to chase us. I would suggest pitting Lewis for a second time, turning the engine up and trying to chase him.” 

“Are you sure?” he asks

“The “It seems like” is the key phrase Toto. Please let Lewis know. ” you tell him

“Okay. Do what she said. I am waiting for your calculations. Get back at me in two minutes.” he says while pressing the strategy button 

“Thank you.” he says. 

Later on it seems like Red Bull is caught off guard by Mercedes’ move and they try saving it as well as they can but they fail. At the end of the race the checkered flag is out and Lewis wins the grand prix in Jeddah. 

“Yes boys, come on. Amazing strategy” says Lewis through the radio as everyone in the garage is celebrating. George finishes P2. 

“Thank you for the amazing drive Lewis.” says Toto 

“Get in there Lewis!” says Bono through the radio. 

Toto turns to you and says thank you while he’s off to congratulate the other team members. After Lewis gives his post race interview to Naomi Schiff, you storm off to the pitlane to watch the podium ceremony. Max is also there and he seems a bit disappointed by his streak of P3’s during the season, but you’re barely worried. Right now you are celebrating about Lewis and George. You take your phone out and snap a picture or two. After the champagne opens and the trophies are given you go back to your office and lock yourself there once again. You’re hearing all the congratulations from people in the hospitality center and you sit on the office couch feeling that happiness and euphoria of winning. You haven’t spoken to anyone since the race ended but you are now just laying there happy. A long time after, you hear a knock on the door. You’re sure it’s Toto since the race debrief and the interviews must have ended by now. You ask who it is though.

“It’s Lewis. Can you please open up?” he says and you freeze, stopping dead in your tracks. You put on your mask and you open the door. 

“Oh my god Lewis hi. Congratulations on your win.” you tell him

“Thank you Mindy. It’s Mindy right?” he asks 

“Yes it is.” you tell him

“And you’re a Daimler intern?” 

“I am yes.” 

“Can you please take off your mask so that I can remember your face?” he asks and at this point you are pretty sure he knows that you’re not who you say you are. 

“I am sorry but I am at great risk, I don’t want to get COVID or anything.” you tell him trying to avoid the situation. 

“Don’t worry, I am wearing masks and I also tested negative this morning, so you can take it off.” 

“Is it okay if I don’t want to?” you tell him

“Yes it is.” he says and he turns to face the door, finally going to leave. “We will be outside celebrating the 1-2 with the team, it will be amazing if you come, even for the picture.” 

“I am not sure I have to be there.” 

“I know you had something to do with that win, this strategy didn’t make itself Horner.” he says and you freeze as you register how he called you. 

“Excuse me?” you tell him 

“Next time that you fight with Toto, don’t do it outside my driver’s room Horner.” he says. “I know what happened between you two, I saw you without your mask and I saw you kissing my Team principal, there’s no denying.”

“Shit. Toto said no one could see us.” 

“I could see you but Toto thought I would be at the grid by then when I clearly wasn’t.” 

“I am sorry. You can’t say this to anyone.” you tell him

“I don’t plan to, I just find it funny that you switched teams.” he says

“Yeah, I had to because my dad’s an asshole.” 

“Okay, now you get what everyone’s saying right?” he laughs

“Yeap.” 

“You should come outside, let’s celebrate. You earned this victory as much as I did. Plus I want to have you in the picture. You can wear your mask.” he says and he extends his hand to make you stand up from the couch. 

“Okay” you say and you walk with him 

“Oh and by the way, Wolff is heads over heels for you, I am pretty sure he’s liked you for a long time and he hasn’t stopped thinking about you. That Cynthia thing is completely bullshit.”

“Really?” you ask him and he nods smiling. 

Both of you walk outside to celebrate that amazing day with your amazing achievements. Mercedes really feels like home for you. Toto’s eyes light up when he sees you outside, in between the mix of employees. He stands by your side for the photos and then all of the team starts playing with champagne. It’s a really great night in the desert that makes up for the craziness of the weekend which makes you relax ahead of the new week coming up. 

#toto wolff #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff fanfic #enemies to lovers ig #f1 #all's fair fic

[restlesshush]

The use of Chuck as a tool of analysis in fandom is genuinely so frustrating, because fundamentally it encourages people not to engage with spn as a piece of media made by real life flawed human writers, which is what it is!! Like, Cas’s inadvertent structural protagonist status at various points has nothing to do with ~him vs Chuck~ or whatever, but due to specific oversights by the writers such that his actions are the ones driving the plot rather than salmondean’s. ‘Chuck’ isn’t trying to ~keep him out of the story~, that doesn’t really mean anything (and if it wasn’t for that one line in Unity, no one would necessarily even think it) – it’s that the writers, trying to keep him off screen, gave him more interesting and more impact-having things to do than they gave salmondean with their much larger amount of screen time. Like I get the Chuck explanation being enjoyable, but we already have a real life explanation, and it’s pretty fun in itself imo! Gamble very much did arguably make Cas the structural protagonist partially as a direct result of trying to kill him off, which is kind of hysterical.

Also the thing is like, Chuck as the authorgodvillain was such a late addition that pretty much nothing is designed around him being the most satisfactory explanation – and it’s incredibly nebulous what viewing earlier events in that light of his intervention is even supposed to entail. If the writers had the courage of their convictions a little more, we could have been invited to recontextualise various really out of left field events in this light, eg @autisticandroids has talked about this re godstiel and the way the leviathans came out of nowhere, and me and them have also discussed it re gadreel being set up to be the “perfect deantransgression” (as @themauvesoul has pointed out) – it would make sense for a villainous author trying to create drama (and undermine Cas) to have contrivedly brought those things about specifically to that end. It is absolutely the case that there are places where it can be fun to say “it would make sense for Chuck to have made this happen for x/y/z reasons”, and it would have been very brave and sexy for the writers to be like “oh yeah lol this thing we wrote would have made more sense of it was Chuck”, but it would be very silly to say “oh the leviathans coming out of nowhere wasn’t actually bad writing because that was Chuck” y’know? Chuck as the authorgodvillain is a concept you can play with if you like, but he’s not a tool of analysis. In the show’s protagonist-powers-deconstruction episode the writers aren’t even brave enough to attack the most egregious writing conveniences facilitating the story, so extending the Chuck lens anywhere else in a way that lets them off the hook is extremely generous, as well as just pretty meaningless.

Fundamentally , the main function that Chuck as the authorgod really serves is a way to handwave away the bad writing (or any other disliked things) in spn when 1) the bad writing is interesting and 2) do we really want to give the writers that get out of jail free card?

#many nick posts cited here hi nick! #chuck spn #castiel #spn meta #spn #worded thoughts #this is not to be a killjoy it’s just it’s not a tool of analysis. #this applies to chuck won theory also tbh #if they wanted us to think chuck won they did a bad job conveying that also!!

[theoriginalsapphic]

disproving the mlvn bingo

“I want El to grow on her own”

This is a bad thing because…? El is a child that grew up the first twelve years of her life locked up in a lab and used for her powers. Then she got out and spent a week helping a group of kids to find their missing friend, almost died, survived in the wilderness by herself for approximately a month, and was forced in isolation in a cabin in the woods for another year.

The first time she got to actually go to the outside world to have fun like a girl her age should was at the snowball dance, in December of 1984 / January of 1985, and even she would still spend most of her time hiding from the world in the cabin. The only other time she got to live like a normal girl was when she went out shopping with Max. After that, she got involved again with the Upside Down, lost her father-figure, and moved to the other side of the country with people she barely knew.

As of canon, she has only been living in the real world for, and I’m being extremely generous with this estimate, fifteen months. Most people her age need time to grow on their own and focus on themselves, and they lived in relatively normal circumstances and in a society their whole lives. Saying that El may need some time to get to know herself first isn’t misogynistic, or ableist, it’s just common sense.

Ableist to El, Mocks El’s speech

Connected to the previous point. El is a fourteen year girl that spent twelve of those years locked away and being dehumanized and never getting the chance to properly socialize. It’s a reasonable thing to say that it will take her time to catch up to people her age who have lived in society their whole lives. It’s not ableist to point out this. In fact, completely ignoring this aspect of her character means ignoring the influence that it has on her character, which brings a whole layer of complexity to her.

Also, anyone who is ableist to El (or to anyone for that matter) sucks! I’m glad we can agree on that! But I’m not okay with mlvns crying out ableism any time someone criticizes the ship only to turn around and be ableist to Max or Dustin (and Gaten by default).

“El doesn’t understand being in a relationship”

Maybe she has an understanding of what being in a relationship means at the end of season four, but she should have never been put in a relationship so early on. Fresh-out-of-the-lab twelve-year-old El shouldn’t have been kissed and later put on a relationship with the first age-appropriate boy who showed her kindness and who had to explain her basic concepts like friendship and privacy. Those are concepts that are supposed to be taught by your parents— not your boyfriend.

May I need to remind people that this is a canon scene from season 3?

Mind you; she has been dating Mike for around six months already at this point.

Part of El learning to understand what being in a relationship means is also learning what kind of things she wants and can accept in a relationship, which, she spends most of season 3 doing.

Mike lied in the monologue

Well, sorry to tell you this, but… he did!

and El knows it.

MiIeven cheating trope!!

As someone who hates cheating and has been personally harmed by the actions of a cheater… let people write whatever they want in their fics. If someone wants to explore that in fiction then they should be able to do it. (Also, I doubt the Duffers would ever write Mike cheating on El, so you can relax about that).

Blames Millie for miIeven

I don’t associate myself often with her fandom because although she seems like a lovely person her fandom is absolutely rancid, but she seems someone who likes to play the audience and have fun. She had said she ships miIeven and wants a wedding for them. She had said she ships byler and wants a love triangle with them. Whether Millie actually means it, is pandering to the fandom, or it’s just straight up trolling and having fun… it doesn’t matter, and I doubt she actually cares as much as people want her to care.

Neither Millie nor any of the actors have any power over whatever decisions the Duffers end up choosing in their writing. If anyone blames any of the actors for whatever happens to their characters, they are fucking idiots; simple as that.

Sexist to El

And yet, mlvn shippers are the ones I often see saying how much El needs Mike, of how she would kill Will if Mike left her, of how she was capable of fighting Vecna only because Mike told her he loves her, of how the only person that actually cares about her is Mike, completely disregarding her family and friends that love her deeply.

I don’t know about you, but I think that reducing El to be this needy girl who is dependent on her boyfriend and makes her to seem that her boyfriend is the only thing she cares about and should care about is… really sexist.

El is a character who consists of two main parts: of trying to create her own identity and of wanting a family, which are both interconnected with how she was stripped of her autonomy since birth and how she wants to belong somewhere.

El grew for the first twelve years of her life with the understanding that love is transactional and conditional on what she can do for others. This is seen mostly in season 1, with El being used for Brenner’s experiments, and when she exerts herself to the point she almost dies for a group of kids that wanted to find their missing friend.

With every season, there is something new that she leans about herself that helps her become a person. Because that is an aspect that people rarely talk about El; she wasn’t even treated like a human being for 85% of her life, but rather just a lab rat.

In season 2, she embarks on a journey all by herself to find out about her mother, and later, her sister Kali. This remarks what El has been wanting her whole life— a family.

In season 3, she explores her identity and her likes and dislikes through fashion and hobbies for the first in her life with Max (I have a whole post about how El’s development of regaining her autonomy is shown through her clothes).

In season 4, she outright says that she doesn’t belong anywhere, and is struggling with the dichotomy that her powers bring: is she a monster or a superhero? At the end of the season, she has come to terms with the complexity of who she is, determining that she is both and neither, and she has finally found a family. She doesn’t belong to a specific place, but to people. Hawkins isn’t her home; her friends and family are. She belongs with them.

So, tell me: who is being sexist to El? You, who reduces her to her romantic relationship… or me? And yes, female characters can be in romantic relationships and still be their own characters, but El isn’t like most of female characters in the sense that she never got the chance to figure out her identity and what she wants before getting in a relationship.

Ships El with a random party member so Mike will be free

miIeven wishes they had what elmax has

“MiIeven is unhealthily and codepent”, “Mike pays too much attention to El, he doesn’t make time for his friends!”

I mean… I’m not the one saying it, blame the Duffers for that one.

Mike looks he is about to sneeze but he’s looking in Will’s directions so it’s heart eyes

If Mike looked at El the way he looks Will you wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it.

cr: @/mvltibyers

Taking the monologue and replacing El with Will and suddenly it’s peak romance

Why would I want byler to have that poorly lighted and directed, and badly written monologue when I already have this one?

Calls El bald and think they did something

I agree! It’s wrong to make fun of El being bald when that fact is tightly connected with how she was stripped off of her femininity as a form of dehumanization and it’s one of the most visible signs of the abuse that was inflicted on her.

However, may I need to remind you that those ‘jokes’ are usually in response with you calling Will literally homophobic slurs or are you going to play coy and innocent?

Compares Mike to Brenner

Blame the Duffers for this one, not us for noticing it.

Hates on Mike but wants him with their fave

You're so right! I don't see the point of shipping a couple if you hate half of it, especially because it would mean to reduce his character to be only a love interest and nothing else. Anyway, what character arc do you think Mike is going to go through in season 5?

Bring ups miIeven break up

They really couldn’t have made it more obvious that’s where they headed so, yes; I want them to break up and I think it will benefit both of their characters. Sorry for following the story, ig.

Says miIeven wasn’t together for s4

Don’t forget to mention how they also weren’t together for season 2 and most of season 3! In fact, it almost seems like after they shared the first kiss, they were never allowed to share a significant amount of screen time together again.

Also, Mike and El aren’t real people; if the Duffers don’t write them to share screen time together it’s because they don’t want to.

The Duffers wrote it so El spent most of season 2 searching for her mom and her sister and longing for freedom. The Duffers wrote it so El spent most of season 3 with Max learning about what she likes and trying to create her own identity away from male influence. The Duffers wrote it so El spent most of season 4 in NINA, which was probably the most important part of her character arc in the show so far.

The Duffers also wrote it so Mike spent most of season 2 with Will. The Duffers wrote it so the fight between Mike and Will was more emotionally charged than his breakup with El, and they wrote it so Mike and Will have a one-on-one goodbye scene just like miIeven and jvncy.

The Duffers wrote it in season 4 so Will is revealed as gay and in love with Mike in the same season that Mike can’t say ‘I love you’ to El, has a fight that, in his words, “can’t come back from”, for Mike to nod when Wills says: “what if they don’t like the truth?”, and needs to get backrubs and compliments from his bff so he can finally say that ‘I love you’ to his girlfriend while she in on the brink of dying. Oh, and also they spend the whole season together.

Go figure.

Calls El “Jane” or “Eleven”

Like everyone in the show does?

I think the only person that has never called her ‘Eleven’ is Hopper.

“You don’t understand Mike/El like I do!”

And I’m so glad I don’t.

#byler #elmike #mike wheeler #el hopper #i need to step out of the fandom most often #because when i was taking screenshots from the show for this post it reminded me i actually love these characters #and it's being in the fandom that ruins them for me

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 37 – The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab

I picked this up for my still-somewhat-theoretical bookclub with some friends, and honestly probably wouldn’t have looked at it otherwise. (The only previous work of Schwab I’d read was Vicious which I was, honestly, not particularly impress by.) So chalk one up for book clubs I suppose, because I’m incredibly happy I gave this a try.

The book follows the eponymous Adeline “Addie” LaRue, a peasant girl in late 17th century southern France who, desperately trying to escape marriage and a life limited to one tiny farming village, and just generally being a peasant, makes a deal with the devil. (Or primordial darkness. Or some ancient pagan god she learned about from the old witch living in the woods that comes standard with every peasant village – it’s somewhat vague, and doesn’t really matter regardless. He goes by Luc.) The deal is for her freedom – she will get to live life untethered and according to her own desires, until she is sick of it, and when she is, her soul will be his.

What this means is that she is a) immortal, and eternally 23 years old, and any change to her body reverts in a matter of moments, but also b) incapable of leaving a mark on the world. People literally forget her the moment she is out of their sight, any letters she writes fade before she finishes a word, she is quite literally incapable of saying her own name out loud and has to pick a pseudonym out of the air with each new interaction, and so on. Reality also conspires against her having more than she can carry on her person – stashes are discovered or accidentally destroyed by what seems like random chance.

The book’s divided more or less in half, with a singular narrative in 2014 New York where Addie has a meet cute with Henry – a 28 year old bohemian bookstore clerk whose made his own (much, much worse) deal with the devil, and as a happy unintended consequence is actually able to remember her – being intercut with flashback chapters telling the wider story of Addie’s three-hundred-year life, how she adapted to her blessing/curse and figured out how to have a life of something other than endlessly freezing and starving in Parisian gutters, and her relationships with Luc.

To lay my cards on the table – Henry is charming, and the book’s New York is fun and appealing, but the historical vignettes really do make the book and elevate it a bit beyond pleasant but forgettable fluff. Partially just because the nature of Addie’s anonymous immortality is so specific, the book has a lot of fun with how she learned to navigate and make the most of it. The utter misery she’d been stuck with and endured also grounds (..maybe not the right word, given the immortality, but you know what I mean) the generally pretty fluffy New York narrative a bit.

Also, given how much I loathe the whole ‘death is what makes life meaningful!’ cliche, I really do appreciate that even after spending however long buried in a snowbank in a Parisian slum perpetually one second away from freezing to death, Addie’s reaction to ‘would you make the same deal again?’ is ‘fuck you, I’m immortal!”.

The plot of the present day New York chapters...exists. If mostly as connective tissue for cute dates and descriptions of bars and art shows; this is really overwhelmingly a character piece, and after that the focus is still more on making specific scenes and vignettes vivid more than any sort of overarching drama. Which isn’t any sort of complaint, to be clear – adding action or high stakes politics or a cosmic battle between good and evil or anything else would have ruined this. The fact that the book keeps its stakes limited to a few specific souls is a huge point in its favour.

The novel’s organized around a romance (I mean, a love triangle, technically), though given the ending I’m not sure it technically qualifies for the weirdly specific criteria for a Romance Novel I’ve been yelled out about in the past. It’s not exactly the sort of love story that’s going to set the world on fire, anyway; though Henry was charming and sympathetic and inoffensive enough to effortlessly vault into my top tier of least annoying romance male love interests.

Luc I think I would have absolutely despised if either Addie had ended up buying into his bullshit or if the narration ever really tried to make you sympathize with him. As is, it’s incredibly to read him as actually sincerely falling sincerely in love with Addie at a certain point, and she basically never stops hating him to the point of going all unreliable narrator and always framing his actions as more Machiavellian and monstrous than they are. It’s great.

It’s not exactly surprising how studiously apolitical the book is, but it did still kind of strike me? Given the span of history involved, I mean – the French Revolution and World War One both intrude on the narrative exclusively as ‘bad news Addie gets out of Paris/Europe to evade’. The only active political stance she’s shown as taking in the entire modern era is returning to France during WW2 to be an anti-nazi spy out of a vague sort of patriotism.

On the one hand oh my god a version of this book that went ‘she’s queer and was alive at the time, so obviously Addie would have been at Stonewall’ would have just been, so so bad lol. But the part of me that loves drama and books that get internet hate campaigns dedicated to them does kind of wish the book had done a bit more with what she (immortal 23-year-old early modern bohemian aesthete runaway peasant girl) actually believes or thinks of the world.

Though the book’s restraint on involving historical events vanishes entirely in the cultural sphere – Beethoven makes an appearance, having sold his soul for artistic genius. I don’t mind this too much, honestly; Addie learning that even if she can’t leave a direct mark she can still inspire people and indirectly shape the world that way is a pretty central theme to the whole book, so it more or less fits. When she justifies why she considers her life worth living, the central element is beauty, she lives for songs and fine meals and paintings and books and films. The occasional intrusion of names I recognize just feels like it fits.

Speaking of: quite possibly my favourite bit of the book is how, at the beginning of each part, there’s a page with a sketch and an auctioneer’s description of a different piece of fine art that Addie had inspired over the course of her long life. Nothing much intelligent to say about them specifically, just that I adored the little touches it added.

Unfortunately, the ending of this was the weakest part of it by leaps and bounds. Just – it would have been damn near perfect, if it just ended two chapters before it did! As is, re contextualizing the entire book as an artifact that exists in universe just makes the entire thing make no sense at all (also, my god, can you imagine being Robbie or Henry’s family and reading how you’re portrayed in his ‘novel’?) But even beyond that, it felt like the book had reached a natural, nicely bittersweet ending, and then spent the last ten pages furiously trying to backtrack and make it as unambiguous and upbeat as possible. A damn shame.

Anyway, not a revelatory read or anything, but with that exception very fun and well-put together.

#book review #v.e. schwab #sff #book club #romance #the invisible life of addie larue

[hiraeth-witch-11]

We are watching Twilight, William

Author's note: Fluffy One Shot to make up for the Bond to Happen angst I've been writing.

Warnings: none, fluff, tickling, popcorn throwing

Word count: 900ish

“We are watching Twilight, William. It’s my turn to pick the movie and it’s practically a crime that you’ve never seen it before.” You and Billy have a standing movie night, usually at the beginning of the week when he isn't as busy. Most often, he’d come over to your house with food or snacks and the two of you would talk about your days and enjoy a, generally subpar, movie together.

“All I wanted to know is why you kept sayin’ ‘Bella, where the hell have you been, loca?’ anytime I come over,” Billy says in exasperation and you laugh.

“You don’t have to like it, but you’ve made me sit through the Godfather twice now. I could’ve chosen something much much worse. Really, you should be grateful I chose to be nice.”

“I’m not even gonna ask what you mean by worse.” He shakes his head, grabbing the bowl of popcorn and offering it to you as the opening scene plays.

“That’s for the best, William.” You grin at him and he rolls his eyes.

“I’m gonna complain the whole time,” he warns.

“You will not! I will allow you to make fun of it, but don’t be whiny.”

“I am not whiny,” he scoffs.

“Shhhh.”

Billy was more or less a good sport through the movie, though occasionally he would make a face and look at you before saying anything.

“Go ahead,” you allow.

“So he’s been watching her sleep?”

“Yup.”

“And wants to eat her?”

“Yup.”

“And she finds that attractive?”

“More or less.”

“Do you find that attractive?” He looks at you warily.

“God no! Most of the men in this are just walking red flags.”

“Which ones aren’t?”

“Emmett is my favorite, total wholesome himbo. Carlisle is decent, though he did put his ‘kids’ who are all technically senior citizens in high school with literal children. That’s pretty iffy.”

“Am I going to regret asking what a himbo is?”

“Wholesome, muscly, dumb.”

Billy nods as if he understands. “I don’t understand women.”

“Maybe you would if you spent more time actually talking to them instead of, well, you know.”

“I talk to them plenty,” Billy scoffs.

“Okay.”

“I do!”

“I didn’t disagree with you, Bill.”

“I’ll spend hours talkin’ with women! They're still a mystery!”

“Are those hours mainly flirting?”

Billy huffs. “I talk with you all the time.”

“Yeah and you understand me.”

“No, I know you. Understandin’ is a whole ‘nother thing, darlin’.”

You chuckle a bit at that and swipe a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

“They let her go into the bathroom alone? Without checking it? Or looking for other exits? Rookie mistakes.” He shakes his head in mock seriousness. “And isn’t Alice supposed to see the future? How come she didn’t see this coming?”

“I dunno. She can’t know everything all the time.” You’re amused at how invested Billy is, even if it is under the guise of criticism. His comments continue through to the end of the movie.

“Well, what did you think?” You ask, finishing up some of the popcorn.

“There is nothing I can say that won’t get me in trouble.”

“Coward.”

“Take that back!”

“Nope.”

“Fine, it was awful but the music was alright.” He shrugs.

“Hah! I knew you would like it.”

“I never said that!”

“You paid attention the whole time! You didn’t even check your phone!”

“That’s cuz it’s us time, not cuz of the movie,” he explains.

“Sap,” you say, throwing a piece of popcorn at his face. Of course he effortlessly catches it in his mouth and grins at you as he chews.

“Are you gonna make me sit through the rest of them over the next few months?”

“Most likey.”

Billy groans at your words, tossing his head back against the couch.

“They get better. Sort of,” you offer, poking his side to get his attention.

“It’s not hard to do better than that,” he says gesturing at the TV.

“You had fun, admit it.” You poke him in the side again. “The movie entertained you even if you hated it.” You go to poke him again and he grabs your wrist, pulling you toward him until you fall on his chest. His free hand begins tickling your ribs and you squeal, wiggling to get away.

You try to retaliate with your own free hand, but he somehow scoops that one up as well, holding both your wrists in one hand and continuing to tickle you.

“I yield, I yield!” You shriek with laughter. He stops, resting his forehead against yours as you catch your breath.

“You started it,” he reminds as you pout at him.

“I was just poking you! You escalated!” You protest.

“What did you expect, sweetheart? ‘Course I did.”

You stick your tongue out at him and he releases your wrists with a chuckle. You lean back a little, but still stay firmly seated on his lap.

“It’s not too late yet, do you want to watch another one or call it a night?” You ask.

Billy sighs in defeat. “Might as well get the next one over with sooner rather than later.”

You grin widely and pull up ‘New Moon’. You rest your head against Billy’s chest and he fixes the blanket around the both of you before wrapping his arms around you.

“Just a heads up, I’ll probably cry at some point during this one,” you warn. Billy rubs gentle circles on your back with his hand. You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, 

“S’okay, baby. I promise I'll only tease you a little when you do.”

If you want on or off my taglists, feel free to let me know!

@kayhi808

#billy russo x reader #the punisher #fluff

[waterparksdrama]

Awsten confuses me, because he makes it seem like his writing is so deep and profound and has some sort of deeper meaning…when it just doesn’t (maybe I’m just dumb.) He’s made comments about how IP is a concept album about religious trauma when I’m sorry it just absolutely isn’t. Half of the songs boil down to fucking and texting. Which is totally fine. I like fun pop-y music. I just wish he would stop trying to do this thing where he takes himself SO seriously and also not seriously at all.

it's really weird too bc he's made much more legitmately profound statements before in his music it's just that he's so set on becoming some popstar that tries to be deeply personal but at the same time generalized so he doesn't get hounded about his personal life makes this entire album come off as commodified impersonal slop and not some cutting edge artistic statement. it's so heavy handed in its supposed themes that when travis wrote that one fic themed around the album, the religious references were just as heavy handed as the terrible smut.

i feel like there can be something deeper to say about the album (from a metatextual way at least bc no way in hell can you get a good analysis without further context) but my god it's the stupidest album they've had and it just sucks even more because it's clearly not the full potential of awsten and the band being used - iz

#it's also weird bc he'll still keep this local band dude mentality about POP MUSIC while still not being cool or famous enough #to hang out with pop people and he's too fucking annoying for anyone who's not a tiktoker or a washed emo dilf to like him #like god GET REAL

[mlbigbang]

2022 Ladrien Fic Rec List

It's the end of the year which means it's finally time for the ML Big Bang's yearly fic rec lists! We're really excited to bring you our contributors' favourite fics started this year to supply you with plenty of reading material while you're waiting for the Big Bang fics' publication in January.

you're such a dream to me by @bocadelicate 1,076 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

there was something so comforting about cuddling with his lady. even though she didn’t know he was her partner, and even if he couldn’t know who she was behind the mask. he was still ever so in love with her, and he wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

"It's simply soft, short and sweet Ladrien fluff."

o, trespass sweetly urged by @apopcornkernel 820 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

“We can’t,” Ladybug breathed against his mouth, so close Adrien could count her eyelashes. “Your father—” “Isn’t here,” Adrien said, fierce and flushed. Ladybug swallowed, and as she did, her lips grazed his. He couldn’t help the shudder that ran through him. Ladybug is the vigilante protector of the people. Adrien is the crown prince of the kingdom. They should not be doing this.

"It's a Ladrien knight/prince AU. Need I say more. (I will say more though. It has lovely prose, a fabulous setup, and so much potential plot-wise.)"

for all the moon’s beauty (you are far more radiant) by @theladyfae 751 words, General, 1/1 chapter

Oh, the picture they must make: an outlaw, holding onto the hand of a prince, directing him on how to love her.

"this fic takes place in the famed Ladrien knight/prince AU. it depicts a single, simple night of Adrien and Ladybug, with stunning writing and word use where you can feel their yearning oozing off the screen <3"

"Fae's writing is so poetic and beautiful and the entire thing is just so evocative and fitting of Ladrien as a ship."

say something by @coffeebanana 17,963 words, Teen, 4/12 chapters

Whenever Adrien imagined sharing a hotel room with Ladybug...it wasn't like this. It was supposed to be on a desert island somewhere, they were supposed to be happy, and he always figured he'd actually know Ladybug's real name by then. Instead, Adrien's injured and Ladybug's insistent on hiding him away from Hawk Moth. Plus, as if finding out he's been fighting his father for years isn't enough, Adrien's pretty sure Ladybug's been acting differently since she found out who he is. What he is. And Ladybug...has no idea what to say to make things better.

"THIS FIC. It has sentiadrien, which is something sorta controversial in the fandom. However the way it's handled in this is great, the writing is awesome, and every chapter packs this emotional punch that leaves me wanting more. It's also very *realistic*. Adrien and Ladybugs feelings are complicated and messy, and this fic doesn't glide over that- it *embraces* it. Above all, they really care for each other, and this fic allows that aspect of their relationsip to shine."

Probably Not The Best Idea by @coffeebanana 17,827 words, Teen, 5/22 chapters

When Adrien first offered Ladybug his spare room, it was mostly joke. Not once in a million years did he think she'd actually take him up on the offer. After all, he's the only one who's hopelessly in love. Right? For her part, Ladybug never meant to make a habit out of visiting Adrien. But now that she has, well...spending time with him feels safe. It feels right. So why not give this roommates thing a try? Surely it'll be nice, not having to hide her hero identity in her own home for once, even if she has to hide her civilian identity instead. All in all, it might not be the best idea they've ever had, but...can it really be the worst? And if they happen to get a little more than they bargained for in the process? That's just part of the fun.

"personally i love ladrien, and i love domesticity, so when i saw that this fic was a thing i absolutely had to read it. its only a couple chapters in at the moment but their dynamic is written so well and the fic balances humour and fluff really well <3"

Selfish Love by @ck2k18 1,508 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

Jumping from a nearby bush, the animal changed from lizard to jaguar in midair. She whirled to face it, sword in her hand, but not fast enough. Then she was on the ground, someone else's weight on her as she rolled out of the creature's path. The culprit hovered over her, blonde hair shining in the moonlight. His shirt was torn from the beast's claws, and he panted heavily. He’d flung himself into danger for her. And it looked like he’d do it again. “Adrien, NO!” ... Or: Adrien keeps sacrificing himself for his guard, and she's a little tired of reminding him that it's not his job.

"LADRIEN FIGHTING OVER LADYBUG SACRIFICING HERSELF FOR ADRIEN'S SAFETY. + KNIGHT/PRINCE AU. YOU AGREE."

reinvent love by @peachcitt 36,865 words, General, 30/30 chapters

“And what could a pretty sort of girl like you want with me?” she asks, the corners of her mouth quirking up into a smile. “I wanted to become your right hand man,” Adrien says. “Girl,” he corrects, hurriedly. “Right hand girl. I want to be your right hand… girl.” “Cute,” she says to Adrien as she swings gracefully onto the saddle. “Is that a yes?” or a prince cross-dressing to protect his identity and a famous lady-knight attempting to save the world. for ladrien june 2022

"Fantasy AU! Marinette is a magic knight! Adrien is a runaway prince! ....and is currently known as "Adrienne," self-proclaimed right-hand-girl of the mysterious knight. Has very good parallels to canon, but in a fantasy/medieval setting. And lots of delicious crushes and awkward moments."

Under Oath by @eoscenes 81,446 words, Teen, 30/? chapters

In the aftermath of Hawk Moth's defeat, Ladybug finds her heart torn between her schoolgirl crush and her superhero partner ― who returns, after an unexplained hiatus, more irresistible than ever. ⋆☆⋆ Gabriel Agreste is unmasked, and Paris rises up in the aftermath. Marinette Dupain-Cheng must weather Paris' anxious protesters, ravenous reporters, a scattered team of judiciary investigators, and her conflicting feelings for two different boys. In the eye of this storm is the elusive Adrien Agreste, the primary witness in his own father's trial, who might just hold the secret to finding the Peacock Miraculous. (If only she wasn't in love with him.) Meanwhile, locked away in Le Grand Paris hotel, Adrien grapples with his responsibilities to a city that can't decide if it hates or loves him. Keeping his daytime persona and Chat Noir separate entities becomes even harder when Ladybug, whom he has finally decided to get over, starts visiting him at night, determined to figure his secrets out. (If only he wasn't in love with her.) When an unknown figure returns with the Peacock Miraculous, Ladybug and Chat Noir will have to save their city once more — or lose each other trying.

"An amazing all-sides-of-the-Lovesquare fic (emphasis on Ladrien and Ladynoir), following the defeat of Hawkmoth, dealing with the ramifications of secretly being a superhero who brought down a villain that is also your father; the press, the legal system, and a big team of superheroes trying to solve the rest of the mystery. Plays with both realism and superhero fantasy expertly, gives everyone powerups, and has amazing use of emotion and character relationships. CW for alcohol use. One of my favorite ongoing fics."

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ladrien #love square #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ladybug #ml fic recs #fic recs #ml big bang 2022 #ml big bang

[vytels]

Reposting this with grammar and spelling fixed because it was bothering me. For context, this was posted based on an incorrect quote post. The original post is linked here.

Just needed to write a little something based on this that made my brain go wirrr

TW: self-depreciation, thoughts about death/suicide, overall general horrible feelings…. Basically, Fox NOT having a good time… Also, typos, cause I’m writing this at the ass crack of night and I’m supposed to be SLEEPING

Sloshes of cocktails and condensation fell to the floor, beers clinked together in toasts and cheers, but yet, it wasn’t as busy at 79’s as it usually was. Parties of clones crowded together in respected booths, a few stragglers slipping onto the dance floor to get a feel for a pretty lady or man. The music buzzed between them and the lights clung brightly to the walls, unimpeded by bodies or howling voices.

Fox didn’t care for 79’s much anyway. Besides the rapid amount of headaches and groans that it brought him, he found himself seeing it as only a small connection to his brothers on the frontlines. It provided him a face-to-face that holocalls couldn’t achieve, although only once every few months.

“Are your boys treating you well, Rex?” Ponds’ elbow shoved into Fox’s side as the man craned his head forward.

The blond trooper turned to them and a smile appeared at the edge of his lips, his shoulders slumping toward the table as he leaned in. “They weren’t too bad this time around, I think they might be settling down.”

“Don’t jinx it, vod’ika,” Cody warned, “Your men don’t know the meaning of settling. You told me they tried to make a water slide in the docking hangar of the Resolute a month ago.”

“Eh, they’re just bored,” Wolffe said, “the 501st moves around more than anyone else does, they have more time between missions to get stuck in their heads.”

“They do deal with it interestingly then,” Rex grumbled.

Fox couldn’t help but agree, though his eyes lingered across his vod’ika’s form. There was a mirth in the man’s eyes, a fondness in his smile, and a softening in his brows. The Captain cared deeply for his men, for his own vod’ika, despite the trouble they put him through. There was always a story on his mind about Fives and Echo, or a joke that heard from Jesse, or an incident from Hardcase.

There was something there that struck Fox, something that clung deep at his chest, in a way that almost made him gasp. Somehow, it was overwhelming.

“Well,” Fox said, “Have the Terrible Torrents come up with anything more recently to deal with this boredom?”

A smile widened across Rex’s face. “They came up with a game, based on a natborn game.”

“Oh, this ought to be good.” Bly leaned in. “What is it?”

“It’s based on kiss, marry, kill,” Rex explained, “which is a game where you name three people and then choose who you’d kiss, marry, or kill from the three.”

Cody nodded, raising an eyebrow. “How’d they change that then?”

Rex snickered. “They ran out of people they knew until it was only vod that they knew… so you know, they just changed the wording. Turned it into keldabe, vod pile partner, and kill.”

“Not as easy to say,” Ponds muttered with a look of disdain, “But I can’t imagine marrying or kissing a vod.”

Bly gave him a look. “Isn’t a keldabe a kiss?”

“It can be familial and you know it,” Ponds retorted, “You literally shove your forehead against any of ours the moment you get the chance!”

“Guilty,” Bly conceded.

Wolffe hummed. “Well, are we going to play it?”

“I’m interested,” Cody added, “It sounds like fun.”

Rex smirked as his ori’vode turned to him and let them throw him through the rounds of the game, pulling on all vod they knew from across the Galaxy. Putting Neyo against Gree, pushing Thorn against Keeli and Kix, throwing Crys with Waxer and Boil, laughing as he offered up Hardcase, Wrecker, and Fives, and smirking when he mentioned Alpha-17, Colt, and Fordo.

“You know that’s not fair,” Cody said immediately. “All of us would snatch up 17 for a pile partner before the others.”

“Then who are you killing?” Rex challenged. “Colt or Fordo?”

“Colt, at least I’d have a chance at winning.” Bly took a swig of his drink.

Wolffe shook his head. “I bet I could take out Fordo, besides he hates me.”

“That’s because you bit him.”

“So did Fox!”

Fox smirked. “He deserved it. I’m going with Fordo too.”

“You two are horrible.” Cody frowned. “I’ll kill Colt.”

“Agreed,” Ponds said.

“Alright, alright… last one?” Rex asked.

“Hit us with your best shot,” Wolffe growled at him.

Rex looked over them for a moment, thoughts whirling behind his eyes before a smirk covered his face. He leaned closer as he spoke, his voice punctuating the names.

“Me, Wolffe, Fox. The vod’ike.”

“Oh, well, I’m killing Fox.” Bly leaned back immediately.

Fox’s head snapped to his ori’vod, a glare pulling at his eyes but he kept his face level as Ponds snorted next to him.

“I think I have to agree with that,” Ponds said, “But I’m vod piling with Rex.”

“Not me?” Wolffe growled immediately.

But Fox didn’t hear the rest of the argument, not as his eyes slid to the orange-colored commander next to him. Cody stroked his chin, a horrible habit he had gained from his general, and stared toward the ceiling. Gears seemed to come to life in his head as he thought before his hand dropped away and slapped against the table.

Everyone’s heads snapped to him, the argument between Wolffe and Ponds fading to the side as the oldest of their batch smirked.

“I figured it out.” Cody nodded. “Kill Fox, keldabe Wolffe, and vod pile with Rex.”

Despite the sting in his chest, the tightening at the back of his throat, Fox slipped under his mask. A smirk played across his lips and he leaned back against the booth, eyes flickering across all his brothers.

“Yeah, I’d kill me too.” Fox waved a hand, ignoring the churning in his stomach. “I’ll vod pile with you, Wolffe.”

Wolffe smirked, before immediately turning to Ponds. “See? Even Fox wants to vod pile with me!”

The argument between them grew again, but it felt like a buzzing at Fox’s ears as he reached back to grab his drink. He knocked back, trying to get rid of the pain pounding in his ribs and gut, trying to loosen the tightening of his throat.

His batchmates had pointed to kill him off, not even bothering to argue against it in any form. It flipped his stomach, even if it was just a game. A meaningless game, but yet it drove a stake through his heart.

But he understood it too, he really did.

Fox wasn’t like his batchmates. He didn’t fight on the front lines, he didn’t put his life on the line for his brothers staring down a battlefield filled with droids, and he certainly didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve like they did.

But more than that, he didn’t really deserve to be the one receiving a keldabe, or being trusted as a pile partner. He wasn’t as good of a commander as he should be, he didn’t save the lives of his men as much as his batchmates did, and he most certainly couldn’t explain the blood that he’d find on his hands when he woke up in the morning.

His batchmates were good men, and he knew he wasn’t.

It seemed like they knew it too.

The night ended shortly after that. His batchmates huddled together as they wobbled back to the GAR barracks, doing their best to make themselves look like a cohesive group of competent men. And they pulled it off well too, despite the tiredness that dragged at them and the drunken tilts of their vision.

But Fox walked another way, back to the headquarters of the Coruscant Guard, back to his tiny office with a desk overflowing with datapads and flimsiwork.

He sat at his desk, thought of the way his vode had pointed at him, and wondered if the pills stashed in the back of his drawer were worth it.

#star wars #clone wars #commander cody #commander fox #commander bly #commander ponds #commander wolffe #captrain rex #coruscant guard #tcw #tcw wolffe #clone troopers #clone commanders #fox deserves more love #fox really needs a nap #poor fox

[phoenix--flying]

telling me that one of the campers never talked bad about a dead/presumed dead titan army member after the war ended and then got punched in the face?

well heres lou punching someone for bad mouthing her big bro >:)

To say he was surprised was an understatement. It was a normal dinner, for the most part. Kayla and Rowan were talking about some archery contest they’d had earlier while Maria and Austin were writing a poem, for some boy Maria liked, he figured. So when the pavilion suddenly burst into chaos, it was a surprise.

It started with a sickening crack cutting through the hushed conversations and one of the Ares kids hit the ground, his nose was bleeding, broken, Will assumed. He heard the boys attacker before he saw her.

“Say that about my brother again and I’ll make sure you end up with worse than a broken nose!”

Will was quick to his feet when he heard Lou Ellen’s voice, but Cecil was quicker. He was at the daughter of Hecate’s side almost immediately, standing between her and the boy while Ellis tended to his brother.

He wasn’t sure what had set his friend off, but she was glaring daggers at the son of Ares on the floor, purple eyes glowing with rage though there were tears brimming them, he could see the Mist curling around her, as if responding to her emotions. Cecil placed a hand on her shoulder and she scowled.

“You don’t know anything about my brother and you have no right to talk about him.” She snapped, turning to walk out, with Cecil on her heel.

“What happened?” Will asked Ellis as he knelt next to the two boys.

“Mark thought it would be fun to poke fun at the Hecate kids in the army,” Ellis muttered. “I told you not to piss Lou off, just because she doesn’t look like a threat doesn’t mean she isn’t one.”

Mark only rolled his eyes and winced as Will poked his nose. “Well, it’s not broken. What did you even say to her?”

“I was asking about that general guy.” Ellis rolled his eyes.

Will was well aware of the stories, despite the war only being a month ago, rumors spread like wildfire about the demigods in Kronos’s army, specifically, about General Alabaster Torrington.

Now, Will had come face to face with the guy during their Philadelphia raid. He’d been in charge. Michael had insulted the guy a bunch but he only really got aggressive when his sister – Lou, he remembered – got shot, Sylvie had been aiming for him, but her arrow almost…avoided him.

Now I wish you hadn’t done that, I really was trying to be civil. He’d said.

So, Will really had a hard time believing the rumors, most of them revolved around the guy harming and killing his own army, specifically, his siblings. Which really didn’t seem realistic considering he’d only attacked them because they hurt his sister. It was solidified by Lou and Cecils annoyance by the rumors.

“How many times do you need to be told not to talk about Alabaster, Mark?”

“Why should I listen to you? You’re probably still loyal to that damn titan.”

Ellis scowled. “I’m not. Alabaster is- was, my friend. Besides never heard you’re not supposed to speak ill of the dead?”

Will pursed his lips. “He seems to be a touchy subject, so how about we don’t talk about him for now?”

Mark only rolled his eyes but Ellis gave him a thankful look.

#lou ellen blackstone #cecil markowitz #ellis wakefield #alabaster torrington #will solace #phoenix ocs #pjo #phoenix ficlets #titan army #hecate sibs #your telling me #SHE ISNT GONNA PUNCH SOMEONE #(they've never interacted in canon) #ON BEHALF OF AL #(they might not have even met) #INCORRECT #phoenix drabbles

[peefartress2]

min needs glasses - butterfly soup one shot

"There’s no doubting it," Noelle stated matter-of-factly. “You need glasses.”

Min snarled back at her, deeply offended. "No, I fucking don't ." 

"Dude." said Akarsha, pushing a piece of paper across the lunch table, something written on it. Something nonspecific, that Min couldn't read definitely because Akarsha had shit handwriting and not because they couldn't tell what the pencil marks were supposed to be. Clearly, Akarsha was at fault.

"Can you read this?" she asked, her eyes narrowed, analyzing Min's reaction. Min themself scoffed.

"No!!- cause your handwriting is ass."

Akarsha and Noelle shared a look- Akarsha in particular having a bright, smug, I Told You So Grin.

"Noelle wrote it, actually.” Akarsha corrected. “And you know she’s a tryhard.”

“It’s not like her weird loopy cursive is any easier to read!”

“The Min I know would never pass off the opportunity to make fun of me for writing, in formal cursive,” Noelle cleared her throat. “ Boogers are a little more funny than pee pee, but less funnier than poo poo. End quote.”

Min snorted in amusement as Akarsha leaned over to say “I came up with that,” wildly grinning at the delicate, narrator-like way Noelle read the sentence. Noelle looked exasperated as Min and Akarsha high-fived under the table, as if she wasn’t right there.

“I’m beginning to think that this is more about making a fool of me than proving that visual aid would be useful to Min.”

“Nonono I would never do that!!”

“I doubt it.” The sound of Diya’s voice made Akarsha jump, because she swore that the girl just went to the bathroom. When did she get back?? Was she so stealthy?? What??

Min didn’t seem to notice Akarsha and Noelle’s surprise though, and turned to Diya like it was nothing.

“It would be so terrible,” Min told Diya desperately. “I refuse to be that nerdy Asian kid with glasses. Could you even imagine?? That’s Noelle’s thing, why doesn’t she get glasses?”

Noelle muttered something under her breath that implied there was some truth in that statement, causing Akarsha’s eyes to widen.

“But…” Diya frowned. “If you did have an eyesight problem… wouldn’t that affect how you play baseball?”

There was a helplessness in Min’s eyes as they looked at Diya like a kicked puppy, just utterly shocked and disappointed with how their eyebrows were pointed up. “No… NO…”

“No, no way I’m getting glasses. I’m just better I don’t need them I swear- and there’s also no way my parents care enough to buy me any, and I don’t care enough to ask them. And- ”

“If you talk to the school counselor or something and have the school approach your parents, there’s a chance they’ll be more open to the idea of getting your vision checked out,” Diya said lightly.

“You know you can get eye contacts too, if you don’t want glasses.” Akarsha pointed out, and Noelle nodded.

“Or you could wear sports glasses for when you play.”

Akarsha snickered. “Oh my god, those things look so goofy. I think Noelle’s right for once, Min.”

Min did not look pleased, their nose wrinkled. “This discussion is over.” 

Two weeks later, after refusing to wear the new pair of glasses they got, Min finally caved- now that their poor vision was acknowledged, it was more annoying to deal with. Thus, a generic looking pair of black glasses had found their way to Min’s face. Min saw Diya and Akarsha walking together, approaching the lockers, fully ready for Akarsha to clown on them.

“Eyyy!” Akarsha cheered as she walked over. “See!! Being visually impaired isn’t so bad!”

“Whatever. Even with glasses, I’m not as much of a dork as you .”

Diya smiled, taking her hat and placing it on Min’s head, the brim covering their eyes until Min pushed it up, looking at Diya with a grumpy expression.

“I think you look pretty fashionable,” she said.

“...Thanks.” Min mumbled, their face turning just a tint pink, eyes suddenly brightening when they remembered something.

“Oh!! So, apparently I’m farsighted or something? Which means I don’t think I have to wear these stupid things when I’m playing ball.”

“Aw man,” Akarsha sighed, shaking her head. “Was looking forward to watching you play in dorky glasses. It would’ve been great.”

“It’d also be great if I gouged your eyeballs so that even glasses couldn’t help you see.”

“ Min …”

“Right, right, sorry. Less violence. Yeah,” Min crossed their arms, looking up at Diya. Without her cap, the sun seemed to hit her wavy brown hair in a way that made it shine. Min enjoyed the way that hair always fell out of her ponytail, due to how Diya’s cut was just a bit too short to stay tied up normally. They tilted their head, peering at Diya’s golden-brown eyes. With their newly improved vision, things that were close were much clearer now.

“Hm. Only one thing I like about having glasses now, I guess.” Min said, and never elaborated no matter how many questions Akarsha asked.

#cookie crumbles #butterfly soup #my writing #butterfly soup fanfiction

[theplatypusblue]

thinkin about FSM = Overlord theory.

like. if it were actually put into the show.... it probably wouldnt be good. like its not that exciting of a twist, and it would probably (definitely) fuck up a bunch of lore things (i don't have the braincells to get into specifics and someone else who knows more abt the lore could probably explain better than i can, but I just know it would completely tear the lore apart lmao). And also I'm sure the writing team would find a way to make the idea even more boring in practice than it already is in theory.

BUT also I DO love thinking about how fucked up it would be. Because although it would be a super generic twist, there are things to think about. And by "things to think about" I mean the fact that it was the Overlord (who in this scenario is secretly the FSM) who corrupted the Great Devourer.

The way I see it, if the overlord = fsm, this could mean two different things. Option 1 is that the FSM corrupted the devourer in pursuit of some other goal (like "oh wow I created this whole world of creation and light I better add a fucked up snake so that there's ~~balance~~ or whatever") and then uh oh!! Uh Oh!!! Your first born son accidentally got bitten by the fucked up snake you corrupted and now he's evil!!! oopsie!!! And then things just devolve from there.

Option 2 is that Garmadon's corruption was done *on purpose* by ***his own father*** somehow which, y'know, fucked up if true but also why not just corrupt him directly instead doing this weird thing with the snake?? Maybe the Overlord is too big-brained for me to comprehend or maybe this idea is just dumb idk. But even if the idea is dumb, I'm still partial to it if only for the drama (as you will see)

And then regardless of which option you choose (but especially if you choose Option 2), things from Lloyd's perspective are still totally fucked. Because he's supposed to be the Ultimate Spinjitzu Master, basically the Second Coming of the FSM. I think Lloyd puts a lot of his pride and self worth into his whole green ninja destiny protector-of-ninjago thing, but in this scenario, the guy he's supposedly emulating is the same guy who ruined his life and also his dad's life and also everyone else's life. It’s not just “oh wow the guy we all thought was soooo cool and good was actually evil the whole time teehee” it’s the fact that the person Lloyd’s been living up to all his life completely goes against everything he believes in n stuff.

But even more importantly there’s the whole thing with his dad. Because pre-season 8 Garmadon might’ve been evil, he might’ve been a warlord bent on destruction, but he would never try to hurt Lloyd. Seasons 1-2 Garm wanted to protect Lloyd with his life, even as evil flowed through his veins. But then (if you choose option 2) the FSM decides to just? Corrupt his own child and ruin his life forever?? For fun I guess?? Just because??? You bet your ass Lloyd would be fucking livid if this theory was actually true. This isn’t your average everyday daddy issues, this is advanced daddy issues. Grandpa issues. Daddy issues². are you SEEING the vision im having here

#and don't even get me STARTED on how Wu fits into all this #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago first spinjitzu master #ninjago overlord #lloyd garmadon